WEBVTT
1
00:00:00.110 --> 00:00:04.200
At 79 Wistful Vista, Molly McGee has set her sights
2
00:00:04.280 --> 00:00:07.639
on the family hall closet while Fibber is determined to
3
00:00:07.700 --> 00:00:12.509
take charge of the cleanup himself. Visitors are expected, Mrs.
4
00:00:12.570 --> 00:00:16.809
Carstairs among them, and the accumulated contents of that familiar
5
00:00:16.890 --> 00:00:22.379
closet soon demand attention. Tonight's visit is Fibber McGee and Molly,
6
00:00:22.699 --> 00:00:28.780
episode 443, Clean Closet, Mrs. Carstairs is Coming, first heard
7
00:00:28.879 --> 00:00:34.520
on NBC on June 5th, 1945. Jim and Marion Jordan
8
00:00:34.619 --> 00:00:37.520
are Fibber and Molly in a script credited to Don
9
00:00:37.579 --> 00:00:41.240
Quinn and Phil Leslie. Ladies and gentlemen, the McGee household
10
00:00:41.320 --> 00:00:44.320
is ready for company. Now, back to the golden age
11
00:00:44.380 --> 00:00:44.920
of radio.
12
00:00:45.520 --> 00:00:48.340
The Johnson Wax Program with Fibber McGee and Molly.
13
00:00:48.359 --> 00:00:48.539
Yeah!
14
00:00:56.380 --> 00:00:59.240
The makers of Johnson Wax products for home and industry
15
00:00:59.280 --> 00:01:01.659
present Fibber McGee and Molly, written by Don Quinn and
16
00:01:01.700 --> 00:01:04.500
Phil Leslie, with music by the King's Men and Billy
17
00:01:04.540 --> 00:01:28.390
Mills Orchestra. If you've ever thought why should I go
18
00:01:28.430 --> 00:01:31.150
to the trouble of cleaning and polishing my car, I'd
19
00:01:31.189 --> 00:01:33.150
like to suggest that it seems to be a matter
20
00:01:33.209 --> 00:01:36.030
both of good business and of personal pride. It's good
21
00:01:36.049 --> 00:01:39.000
business to protect the paint job from injury by removing
22
00:01:39.060 --> 00:01:42.439
destructive road grime and dirt, thus increasing the trade-in value
23
00:01:42.459 --> 00:01:45.680
of your car. And on that subject of personal pride,
24
00:01:46.060 --> 00:01:48.900
the impression your car makes on your friends and associates,
25
00:01:49.340 --> 00:01:51.890
the impression it makes on yourself, can be very important.
26
00:01:52.439 --> 00:01:55.480
So give your car an occasional beauty treatment with Johnson's
27
00:01:55.519 --> 00:01:58.680
Car New, the popular auto polish that both cleans and
28
00:01:58.780 --> 00:02:02.359
polishes with one application. Car New is so easy to use,
29
00:02:02.379 --> 00:02:05.400
you'll gladly do the job yourself. It's a liquid that
30
00:02:05.420 --> 00:02:08.860
dries on application to a white powder. Wipe off this powder,
31
00:02:09.219 --> 00:02:12.780
and there's that beautiful finish you'd almost forgotten. Car New
32
00:02:12.960 --> 00:02:17.599
is unchanged. Your dealer has it. Ask for Johnson's Car New,
33
00:02:17.639 --> 00:02:46.849
spelled C-A-R-N-U. Anytime you pass 79 Westville Vista and hear
34
00:02:46.870 --> 00:02:50.860
the windows rattling slightly and a low, nasty murmur coming
35
00:02:50.919 --> 00:02:53.879
out under the door, you'll know the squire has received
36
00:02:53.939 --> 00:02:58.159
his monthly bank statement. And here he is, rapidly losing
37
00:02:58.219 --> 00:03:01.860
his equilibrium while trying to find his balance, while his
38
00:03:01.919 --> 00:03:04.780
wife does her best to drown him out. As we meet,
39
00:03:05.120 --> 00:03:06.639
Fibber McGee and Molly.
40
00:03:06.659 --> 00:03:15.020
Thank you. Those dirty double-crossing, pocket-picking book jugglers. You know
41
00:03:15.060 --> 00:03:17.370
what that Fourth National Bank done to me this month, Molly?
42
00:03:17.650 --> 00:03:18.830
I can't imagine, dearie.
43
00:03:19.409 --> 00:03:22.750
They figured my balance exactly the same as I figured it.
44
00:03:23.530 --> 00:03:26.590
Now I don't know where I am. I got nothing
45
00:03:26.610 --> 00:03:31.680
to go on. I have a notion of... Hey! Hey,
46
00:03:31.800 --> 00:03:33.539
can't you do that a little quieter, Molly?
47
00:03:33.819 --> 00:03:34.659
I'm sorry, dearie.
48
00:03:34.860 --> 00:03:37.199
I'm trying very hard to concentrate on this statement, and
49
00:03:37.240 --> 00:03:39.599
that noise is very distracting. Very distracting.
50
00:03:40.050 --> 00:03:42.050
Well, if your figures agree with the banks, what is
51
00:03:42.090 --> 00:03:42.949
there to concentrate on?
52
00:03:43.449 --> 00:03:46.310
Aha, that's just the point. Anytime they agree with me,
53
00:03:46.370 --> 00:03:51.250
they gotta be wrong. They know darn well that I... Hey,
54
00:03:52.009 --> 00:03:53.599
what are you doing with my wood-burning outfit?
55
00:03:54.680 --> 00:03:55.560
Is that what this is?
56
00:03:55.639 --> 00:03:58.620
Why, certainly that's what this is. Don't you remember that
57
00:03:58.659 --> 00:04:00.520
spool rack I made for you with all the design
58
00:04:00.539 --> 00:04:02.719
I burned onto it with that? You said that was
59
00:04:02.740 --> 00:04:04.879
the prettiest spool rack with that particular design onto it
60
00:04:04.919 --> 00:04:05.479
you ever saw.
61
00:04:05.819 --> 00:04:08.300
Oh, yes, of course. Well, as long as I was
62
00:04:08.340 --> 00:04:10.300
cleaning out the hall closet, I merely thought I'd put
63
00:04:10.340 --> 00:04:10.879
things away.
64
00:04:10.969 --> 00:04:13.330
Now, be very careful with stuff like my wood-burning outfit.
65
00:04:13.389 --> 00:04:15.099
One of these days, that fat will come back and.
66
00:04:16.290 --> 00:04:19.089
Your what? I'm cleaning out the hall closet.
67
00:04:19.589 --> 00:04:19.850
Mrs.
68
00:04:19.889 --> 00:04:22.189
Carstairs is coming for tea this afternoon. I don't want
69
00:04:22.209 --> 00:04:24.730
her to wind up under an avalanche of moose heads, mandolins,
70
00:04:24.769 --> 00:04:25.529
and fish poles.
71
00:04:26.930 --> 00:04:29.430
Hey, now, wait a minute, kiddo. If anybody's going to
72
00:04:29.470 --> 00:04:31.639
clean out that closet, it'll be me. I got a
73
00:04:31.649 --> 00:04:34.500
lot of valuable stuff in there. By the way, what'd
74
00:04:34.519 --> 00:04:35.600
you do with my stamp collection?
75
00:04:35.879 --> 00:04:38.040
Heavenly days, did you have a stamp collection in there?
76
00:04:38.399 --> 00:04:40.500
Did I have a stamp collection in there, she said.
77
00:04:40.579 --> 00:04:41.180
She said that.
78
00:04:44.060 --> 00:04:46.199
Didn't you see a little celluloid envelope with a three-cent
79
00:04:46.220 --> 00:04:48.470
stamp in it that the cancellation was upside down onto it?
80
00:04:48.860 --> 00:04:51.100
You had a collection of one three-cent stamp?
81
00:04:51.519 --> 00:04:55.779
Well, it was the nucleus of a collection. The guy's
82
00:04:55.800 --> 00:04:58.959
got to start someplace. You better let me clean out
83
00:04:58.980 --> 00:05:02.139
that closet, Molly. Well, frankly, I don't think Carstairs coming
84
00:05:02.180 --> 00:05:03.699
to tea is a very good reason for it.
85
00:05:04.019 --> 00:05:06.420
Do you want her to think you married a bad housekeeper?
86
00:05:06.920 --> 00:05:10.620
What that old gooseberry thinks is frantically unimportant to me, mommy.
87
00:05:12.000 --> 00:05:14.470
Well, I don't want her to think now that.
88
00:05:14.490 --> 00:05:14.790
Hello, Mrs.
89
00:05:14.850 --> 00:05:15.189
McGee.
90
00:05:15.250 --> 00:05:15.730
Hello, Mr.
91
00:05:15.750 --> 00:05:15.949
McGee.
92
00:05:16.009 --> 00:05:16.670
Hello, Alice.
93
00:05:16.810 --> 00:05:18.639
Hiya, kid. Now, don't get in the way here now, huh?
94
00:05:18.649 --> 00:05:22.029
Creepers, are you cleaning out that closet? May I watch?
95
00:05:22.149 --> 00:05:23.889
Sure, but don't touch things, Alice. I got a lot
96
00:05:23.920 --> 00:05:26.120
of personal valuables in there. I don't want them all around.
97
00:05:26.540 --> 00:05:27.459
Like this stuff here.
98
00:05:28.879 --> 00:05:31.209
McGee, if that's what's been making this closet smell like
99
00:05:31.250 --> 00:05:34.689
a cider mill, throw it out. What?
100
00:05:35.129 --> 00:05:40.329
Throw out my old chemistry set? I went clear through
101
00:05:40.370 --> 00:05:41.509
high school with this stuff.
102
00:05:41.689 --> 00:05:43.079
Gee, did you really, Mr.
103
00:05:43.120 --> 00:05:50.379
McGee? Yes, and I remember the day he did it, Alice. Yeah,
104
00:05:50.800 --> 00:05:52.639
he went clear through the high school and through the
105
00:05:52.660 --> 00:05:56.399
roof of the laundry a block away. You know, his
106
00:05:56.480 --> 00:06:01.199
eyebrows haven't grown quite back yet. Look at him, Alice.
107
00:06:01.420 --> 00:06:03.399
I wish I could remember the formula I was working
108
00:06:03.439 --> 00:06:05.790
on that day. Seems to me I was on the
109
00:06:05.819 --> 00:06:10.600
track of a new kind of high-powered gasoline. I was
110
00:06:10.639 --> 00:06:12.720
going to call it Ethel in honor of my chemistry teacher,
111
00:06:12.779 --> 00:06:13.379
Ethel Fadich.
112
00:06:15.360 --> 00:06:18.379
But they've been making Ethel gasoline for years and years, Mr.
113
00:06:18.399 --> 00:06:18.810
McGee.
114
00:06:18.879 --> 00:06:19.149
What?
115
00:06:19.329 --> 00:06:22.009
They have? Sure. Well, by George, if I had the dough,
116
00:06:22.069 --> 00:06:24.470
I'd fight for my rights all through the juvenile court.
117
00:06:27.189 --> 00:06:27.930
Juvenile court?
118
00:06:27.990 --> 00:06:29.889
Well, sure. I was just a kid when I invented it.
119
00:06:31.519 --> 00:06:34.439
Oh, I think chemistry is wonderful, Mr. McGee. My cousin
120
00:06:34.500 --> 00:06:36.649
is a chemist, and he's just patented a new kind
121
00:06:36.709 --> 00:06:38.970
of glue that simply won't stick to anything.
122
00:06:39.069 --> 00:06:42.389
Why, Alice, what good is a glue that won't stick?
123
00:06:42.509 --> 00:06:44.569
Well, he says it will teach people not to break
124
00:06:44.629 --> 00:06:45.689
things in the first place.
125
00:06:46.050 --> 00:06:53.259
Well, it's simple stuff like that that makes fortunes for
126
00:06:53.279 --> 00:06:55.920
some people. I stumbled onto a freezing compound one day
127
00:06:55.939 --> 00:06:58.120
that kept a bottle of water cold for two days.
128
00:06:58.180 --> 00:06:59.199
What'd you call it, dearie?
129
00:06:59.500 --> 00:07:06.000
Ice. Creepers. I've been using it for years, and I never.
130
00:07:05.860 --> 00:07:07.699
Knew who thought it up. Yeah, and you know he
131
00:07:07.740 --> 00:07:09.819
never got a nickel from Sonia Handy for it either?
132
00:07:11.120 --> 00:07:12.699
Well, I got an idea I'm going to work on
133
00:07:12.759 --> 00:07:14.800
one of these days that'll put us all on easy street.
134
00:07:15.139 --> 00:07:16.730
And I'm not going to breathe it to a soul,
135
00:07:16.879 --> 00:07:19.170
except a few close friends. What is it, Mr.
136
00:07:19.189 --> 00:07:19.490
McGee?
137
00:07:19.529 --> 00:07:21.509
Well, I... Shut the door, Molly.
138
00:07:21.569 --> 00:07:21.889
Okay.
139
00:07:22.490 --> 00:07:25.689
Thanks. After what happened with that ethyl gasoline deal, I'm
140
00:07:25.730 --> 00:07:29.410
kind of suspicious. You know what they feed silkworms on
141
00:07:29.430 --> 00:07:30.209
to make them make silk?
142
00:07:30.649 --> 00:07:31.050
Certainly.
143
00:07:31.389 --> 00:07:32.180
Mulberry leaves.
144
00:07:32.839 --> 00:07:34.500
Ever think what might happen if you fed them on
145
00:07:34.560 --> 00:07:35.779
leaves from a rubber plant?
146
00:07:37.459 --> 00:07:38.360
Jeepers!
147
00:07:38.540 --> 00:07:43.980
Girdles! Exactly. Now, not a word of this to anybody, see?
148
00:07:44.579 --> 00:07:46.790
The nylon people would shoot me down like a dog
149
00:07:46.829 --> 00:07:50.730
if it ever got out. But that's for the future.
150
00:07:50.769 --> 00:07:53.000
Right now, I've got to straighten out this closet. One side....
151
00:07:59.670 --> 00:08:00.839
Billy Mills and the orchestra and The More I See You.
152
00:08:00.829 --> 00:08:05.089
© BF-WATCH TV 2021.
153
00:08:45.549 --> 00:09:13.480
THE END THE END.
154
00:09:45.370 --> 00:09:47.850
I think when you get that whole closet cleaned out, dearie,
155
00:09:47.870 --> 00:09:48.870
the house will look very nice.
156
00:09:48.990 --> 00:09:50.649
No, it's a lot of wasted effort just to make
157
00:09:50.669 --> 00:09:53.710
an impression on old Mrs. Carstairs. That old man Trapp
158
00:09:53.769 --> 00:09:56.190
is so nearsighted that last week in their grocery she
159
00:09:56.230 --> 00:09:58.080
paid two bits for her left hand thinking it was
160
00:09:58.100 --> 00:09:58.820
a bunch of bananas.
161
00:09:59.049 --> 00:10:02.779
Oh, you're exaggerating.
162
00:10:03.220 --> 00:10:05.940
Yeah, I was exaggerating. She only paid 23 cents.
163
00:10:08.080 --> 00:10:11.240
You know, you'd like Mrs. Carstairs if you'd stop antagonizing her.
164
00:10:11.259 --> 00:10:11.480
Me?
165
00:10:11.539 --> 00:10:14.639
Stop antagonizing her? You got the slip cover on the
166
00:10:14.659 --> 00:10:19.870
wrong love seat, Snooki. She antagonizes me. Why, she looks
167
00:10:19.889 --> 00:10:22.049
at me like I was something unpleasant she just found
168
00:10:22.070 --> 00:10:23.049
in her club sandwich.
169
00:10:23.710 --> 00:10:29.309
Well, my goodness, I don't think she does. Come in. Oh,
170
00:10:29.389 --> 00:10:30.409
it's Dr. Gamble.
171
00:10:30.460 --> 00:10:31.549
Yeah, I recognize him.
172
00:10:31.620 --> 00:10:32.250
Hello, Doctor.
173
00:10:32.289 --> 00:10:39.639
Hello, Molly. Hello there, Rumpelstiltskin. Rumpel-what-skin? Rumpelstiltskin. A legendary character,
174
00:10:39.879 --> 00:10:41.100
like you. Oh, thanks.
175
00:10:42.000 --> 00:10:44.519
Excuse the looks of the place, Doctor. McGee is cleaning
176
00:10:44.559 --> 00:10:45.460
out the hall closet.
177
00:10:45.659 --> 00:10:48.460
Voluntarily, or did you get a court order? As the
178
00:10:48.480 --> 00:10:50.419
trout says when he snapped at the fly, I'm doing
179
00:10:50.460 --> 00:10:55.059
this on my own hook. Don't get in my way, Batso.
180
00:10:55.100 --> 00:11:02.389
I'm busy. Well, interesting evidence of a misspent life you
181
00:11:02.429 --> 00:11:05.629
have there, chubby. Where'd you get the school bells? Christmas
182
00:11:05.669 --> 00:11:06.750
present from Mr. Chips?
183
00:11:07.149 --> 00:11:09.809
Those are Swiss bells, doctor. He used those when he
184
00:11:09.830 --> 00:11:13.480
was in vaudeville. Play something for the doctor, dearie.
185
00:11:13.519 --> 00:11:16.639
He wouldn't appreciate it, or I would. That guy's got
186
00:11:16.679 --> 00:11:21.509
less music in him than a wet drum. As usual, beanbag,
187
00:11:21.809 --> 00:11:24.529
you are speaking from the depths of your abysmal ignorance.
188
00:11:24.929 --> 00:11:27.529
I was seriously considering an operatic career at one time.
189
00:11:27.690 --> 00:11:30.289
My goodness, were you really, doctor? Tenor or baritone?
190
00:11:30.409 --> 00:11:32.610
You sang second base with the Brooklyn Dodgers, didn't you, doc?
191
00:11:34.750 --> 00:11:37.450
I refuse to be drawn into a musical controversy with you,
192
00:11:37.529 --> 00:11:40.370
you illiterate little pack rat. You're the kind who'd sit
193
00:11:40.389 --> 00:11:42.450
through a movie three times to hear the Hoosier Hot
194
00:11:42.490 --> 00:11:45.450
Shots play the Hawaiian War Chant on a washboard and
195
00:11:45.529 --> 00:11:50.639
auto horn. You're darn well right I would, big boy.
196
00:11:50.700 --> 00:11:55.039
That's real music. See what I mean, Molly? Every time
197
00:11:55.080 --> 00:11:57.659
he mentions the sextet from Lucia, he asks if you'll
198
00:11:57.679 --> 00:12:02.210
pardon the expression. Remind me to sing for you sometime,
199
00:12:02.250 --> 00:12:02.590
my dear.
200
00:12:02.690 --> 00:12:04.409
Oh, that I will, doctor. I will indeed.
201
00:12:04.570 --> 00:12:06.309
Sing her something from Ada, doc. She loves Ada.
202
00:12:06.909 --> 00:12:07.330
From what?
203
00:12:07.909 --> 00:12:10.940
Ada. That's the opera, Ada. Are you by any chance
204
00:12:11.000 --> 00:12:14.600
referring to the opera Aida by Verdi? Oh, yes. First
205
00:12:14.639 --> 00:12:17.600
presented in Cairo, Egypt, December 24th, 1871? Hmm.
206
00:12:17.620 --> 00:12:20.059
I think that's what he means, Doctor.
207
00:12:20.620 --> 00:12:22.750
I think so, too. And if you'll excuse me, I'll
208
00:12:22.789 --> 00:12:24.809
get out of here before I lose what little respect
209
00:12:24.909 --> 00:12:26.970
I have for the little music lover. No, I was
210
00:12:27.009 --> 00:12:29.690
just kidding, Doc. I know my music. I didn't study
211
00:12:29.710 --> 00:12:31.610
the mandolin 25 years for nothing, you know.
212
00:12:31.649 --> 00:12:31.720
Oh.
213
00:12:34.279 --> 00:12:35.740
That's one man's opinion.
214
00:12:36.120 --> 00:12:38.440
Well, he really knows more music than you think, Doctor.
215
00:12:38.480 --> 00:12:40.279
If he knows any music, it's more than I think.
216
00:12:41.960 --> 00:12:47.789
Let me ask you one question, Rigoletto. Shoot, Siegfried. What
217
00:12:47.950 --> 00:12:50.990
is counterpoint? Why, that's when a kid in a candy
218
00:12:51.009 --> 00:12:52.529
store asks, how many of these do you get for
219
00:12:52.549 --> 00:12:52.870
a penny?
220
00:12:57.730 --> 00:12:58.470
That's all, brother.
221
00:12:58.789 --> 00:12:59.389
So long, Molly.
222
00:13:06.600 --> 00:13:08.500
Oh, for goodness sakes, McGee, I don't know why you
223
00:13:08.519 --> 00:13:11.009
have to tease people like that. Why do you pretend
224
00:13:11.029 --> 00:13:11.809
to be so dumb?
225
00:13:12.350 --> 00:13:16.529
I like to be underestimated. Then when I do something unintelligent,
226
00:13:16.570 --> 00:13:20.840
I get twice the credit. Well, I better get busy.
227
00:13:21.799 --> 00:13:23.820
McGee, I wish you'd get rid of that old moose head.
228
00:13:23.919 --> 00:13:29.870
Oh, I will after she has her tea. Wouldn't be
229
00:13:29.889 --> 00:13:31.470
polite to give her the bum's rush the minute she
230
00:13:31.509 --> 00:13:32.070
gets here, you know.
231
00:13:32.169 --> 00:13:33.710
Oh, I was not referring to Mrs.
232
00:13:33.789 --> 00:13:34.350
Carstairs.
233
00:13:34.409 --> 00:13:35.809
I meant that one in the closet there.
234
00:13:35.950 --> 00:13:36.409
Oh, that.
235
00:13:37.169 --> 00:13:39.190
Well, I still think that'd look swell over the fireplace.
236
00:13:39.610 --> 00:13:41.929
I think it would look better in the fireplace. It's
237
00:13:41.950 --> 00:13:44.649
such a... Oh, my goodness, I almost forgot. We're practically
238
00:13:44.740 --> 00:13:46.639
out of sugar. I wonder if Mr. Sale would send
239
00:13:46.679 --> 00:13:47.399
some over right away.
240
00:13:47.580 --> 00:13:49.200
I'll call and ask him. He owes me a favor.
241
00:13:49.240 --> 00:13:49.639
For what?
242
00:13:50.000 --> 00:13:51.820
I called his attention to a misspelled word in one
243
00:13:51.840 --> 00:13:54.179
of his ads last week. He had an L in salmon.
244
00:13:54.559 --> 00:13:54.700
Oh.
245
00:13:55.139 --> 00:13:59.379
Well, call him anyway, dearie.
246
00:13:59.519 --> 00:14:00.220
Hand me the phone.
247
00:14:00.299 --> 00:14:00.639
Here.
248
00:14:00.720 --> 00:14:01.059
Thanks.
249
00:14:01.860 --> 00:14:05.059
Hello, operator. Give me Jimmy Sales Grow. Is that you, Mert?
250
00:14:05.320 --> 00:14:06.100
Oh, dear.
251
00:14:06.159 --> 00:14:09.139
How's every little thing, Mert? It is, eh? What's that, Mert?
252
00:14:09.899 --> 00:14:14.139
Your brother. Judge gave him 20 years, eh? Gee, that's great, Mert.
253
00:14:14.259 --> 00:14:16.210
Good heavens, McGee. What's great about that?
254
00:14:16.419 --> 00:14:18.850
Mert's brother helped old Judge Jeffrey hustle some green corn.
255
00:14:19.419 --> 00:14:21.330
Did such a good job, the judge gave him 20 years.
256
00:14:27.100 --> 00:14:30.629
What's that, Mert? Yeah. Okay, I'll call later.
257
00:14:33.009 --> 00:14:34.740
Well, maybe we can squeeze by with what.
258
00:14:34.600 --> 00:14:37.259
Sugar we have, dearie. Carstairs shouldn't know to use sugar anyway.
259
00:14:37.539 --> 00:14:42.570
She shows every lump she's ever eaten. Particularly around... Hello, folks.
260
00:14:42.590 --> 00:14:44.029
I was just going by and I thought.
261
00:14:44.070 --> 00:14:46.330
Oh, gone and watch your step there, will you, Junior?
262
00:14:46.370 --> 00:14:47.330
Now look what you did.
263
00:14:47.529 --> 00:14:50.570
Oh, I'm sorry, pal. Very clumsy of me. What did
264
00:14:50.610 --> 00:14:51.090
I step on?
265
00:14:51.129 --> 00:14:52.570
Just an old cigar box, Mr.
266
00:14:52.610 --> 00:14:53.070
Wilcox.
267
00:14:53.110 --> 00:14:53.950
Think nothing of it.
268
00:14:54.009 --> 00:14:55.850
What do you mean, just an old cigar box? You
269
00:14:55.889 --> 00:14:57.269
know what I was saving that for?
270
00:14:57.370 --> 00:14:58.789
No, what were you saving it for?
271
00:14:58.820 --> 00:15:02.320
Well, I was... Oh, I don't remember right now, but...
272
00:15:03.120 --> 00:15:04.620
I'll bet I had a definite use for it.
273
00:15:06.190 --> 00:15:09.269
Uh, excuse me for pointing, but just what are you doing, pal?
274
00:15:09.330 --> 00:15:10.090
Playing store?
275
00:15:10.450 --> 00:15:12.610
No, he's cleaning out this closet, Mr. Wilcox.
276
00:15:12.690 --> 00:15:12.950
Mrs.
277
00:15:12.990 --> 00:15:14.970
Carstairs is coming for tea and we want things to
278
00:15:14.990 --> 00:15:15.690
look real nice.
279
00:15:15.789 --> 00:15:17.750
Yeah, she's the kind of old snoopy puss that'll be
280
00:15:17.769 --> 00:15:20.690
poking her snozzles into all the closets, Junior. You know
281
00:15:20.730 --> 00:15:23.070
the type. Talking about the weather with one hand and
282
00:15:23.129 --> 00:15:26.970
counting the pillowcases with the other. Oh, look, you've got
283
00:15:27.009 --> 00:15:27.909
her wrong, pal.
284
00:15:27.950 --> 00:15:29.830
Mrs. Carstairs is a very nice person.
285
00:15:29.850 --> 00:15:31.990
That's what I keep telling you, Mr. Wilcox, but they
286
00:15:32.029 --> 00:15:33.549
just don't seem to get along together.
287
00:15:33.889 --> 00:15:39.029
Ah, pata. She's just a wilted puddle off the Mayflower. Why,
288
00:15:39.049 --> 00:15:43.320
she's one of the worst old... Hey, what are you doing, Junior?
289
00:15:43.600 --> 00:15:46.019
Just looking in this closet, pal. I never saw it
290
00:15:46.080 --> 00:15:48.899
empty before. I want to satisfy my curiosity.
291
00:15:49.159 --> 00:15:51.019
Curiosity about what, Mr. Wilcox?
292
00:15:51.220 --> 00:15:54.120
The floor in that closet. Gee, it's wonderful. In spite
293
00:15:54.159 --> 00:15:56.600
of all that junk piled in there, year after year,
294
00:15:56.620 --> 00:15:58.500
the floor's in wonderful condition.
295
00:16:00.100 --> 00:16:05.519
What did you protect it with? Boy, Axie, if I
296
00:16:05.580 --> 00:16:08.559
wasn't a truthful guy with whom loyalty to a sponsor
297
00:16:08.600 --> 00:16:12.279
was a prime consideration, I could break your little heart.
298
00:16:19.320 --> 00:16:22.320
Ah, but we have to tell the truth, Mr. Wilcox.
299
00:16:22.659 --> 00:16:24.080
Johnson's wax it is.
300
00:16:24.399 --> 00:16:28.299
I knew it, I knew it. Gee, I'd like to
301
00:16:28.360 --> 00:16:31.399
have a photograph of that closet floor. You throw moose
302
00:16:31.440 --> 00:16:34.490
heads in there, you toss in horseshoes and ice skates,
303
00:16:34.870 --> 00:16:37.570
you bang it with golf clubs and wet snow shovels,
304
00:16:37.909 --> 00:16:40.629
you heave in a lot of fishing tackle, shotguns and mandolins,
305
00:16:40.889 --> 00:16:41.470
and look at it.
306
00:16:41.889 --> 00:16:42.690
Hardly a scratch.
307
00:16:43.230 --> 00:16:46.210
What a perfect example of how Johnson's Wax protects and
308
00:16:46.269 --> 00:16:47.450
preserves a wood surface.
309
00:16:48.149 --> 00:16:53.509
Look at his eyes flash, Molly. I'll bet Balboa looked
310
00:16:53.529 --> 00:16:59.870
just like that when he discovered the Panama Canal.
311
00:17:00.149 --> 00:17:03.750
Ah, what a beautiful, beautiful floor. What luster. What a
312
00:17:03.830 --> 00:17:08.369
tactile delight to rub one's digits over such a luminescent patina.
313
00:17:08.670 --> 00:17:09.089
Ah, sure.
314
00:17:09.410 --> 00:17:09.470
Mm.
315
00:17:10.759 --> 00:17:12.279
What on earth is the man talking about?
316
00:17:12.299 --> 00:17:13.920
Is the guest room made up? Maybe he better lie
317
00:17:13.960 --> 00:17:15.799
down a little while. Do you feel okay, Junior? Oh,
318
00:17:15.839 --> 00:17:16.880
I feel marvelous, pal.
319
00:17:16.940 --> 00:17:19.859
Magnificent. What a day in my life to have everything
320
00:17:19.900 --> 00:17:23.200
I've ever said about Johnson's Wax so completely justified, so
321
00:17:23.299 --> 00:17:28.890
marvelously exemplified. Its qualities of beautification, preservation, protection. Oh, I've
322
00:17:28.930 --> 00:17:31.910
got to write to Racine about this. See you later, folks.
323
00:17:39.230 --> 00:17:40.049
Right where you seem.
324
00:17:40.089 --> 00:17:42.609
There goes the greatest ham actor since the Three Little Pigs.
325
00:17:43.849 --> 00:17:45.690
I thought he sounded very sincere, McGee.
326
00:17:45.710 --> 00:17:47.309
Oh, he meant it all right. It was one of
327
00:17:47.329 --> 00:17:51.269
those gestures that pulled my cork. Those rolling eyes. Clenched
328
00:17:51.309 --> 00:17:54.809
hand on the forehead. Like William S. Hart bidding farewell
329
00:17:54.849 --> 00:17:55.730
to his favorite horse.
330
00:17:56.230 --> 00:17:57.789
Well, never mind him, McGee.
331
00:17:57.829 --> 00:17:58.049
Mrs.
332
00:17:58.089 --> 00:18:00.470
Carstairs will be here very shortly. Better get this stuff
333
00:18:00.490 --> 00:18:00.789
put away.
334
00:18:00.849 --> 00:18:02.619
Okay, I'll have it all the way in two jerks. Now,
335
00:18:02.630 --> 00:18:06.000
let me see... Oh, gee, look what I found. My
336
00:18:06.059 --> 00:18:08.400
old camp stove. I'd like to have five bucks for
337
00:18:08.440 --> 00:18:10.190
every pound of bacon I've ruined on that thing.
338
00:18:11.349 --> 00:18:13.609
Speaking of stoves, dearie, I'd better see how Beulah's coming
339
00:18:13.630 --> 00:18:19.269
with the refreshments. Oh, Beulah! Beulah! Somebody bowl for Beulah?
340
00:18:27.740 --> 00:18:28.259
Yeah, Mrs.
341
00:18:28.299 --> 00:18:30.009
McGee was just wondering if you were all set for
342
00:18:30.029 --> 00:18:30.970
the tea clutch, Beulah.
343
00:18:31.369 --> 00:18:36.829
Yes, everything is 6'2, and even. Best china laid out,
344
00:18:36.950 --> 00:18:40.970
cake all frosted, silverware polished, and a napkin start like Mr.
345
00:18:41.049 --> 00:18:41.849
Hoover's collar.
346
00:18:43.210 --> 00:18:45.650
Well, we want to kind of spread it on for Mrs. Carstairs, Beulah.
347
00:18:46.109 --> 00:18:48.259
Send the lady fingers out for a manicure if necessary.
348
00:18:49.150 --> 00:18:50.880
And see that the seams are all straight on the
349
00:18:50.900 --> 00:18:55.559
tea bags. You just leave everything to Beulah, folks.
350
00:18:56.460 --> 00:18:59.910
Everything's going to be done with finesse, eclair, and savoufaire.
351
00:19:02.039 --> 00:19:05.380
Genesee Pound? Genesee what?
352
00:19:05.420 --> 00:19:08.279
Genesee power, ma'am. That's a French expression meaning, you think
353
00:19:08.359 --> 00:19:13.640
I'm kidding? Do you speak French, Beulah?
354
00:19:13.740 --> 00:19:15.730
Well, just enough to get by with folks that don't.
355
00:19:15.569 --> 00:19:16.589
Speak it at all, sir.
356
00:19:16.680 --> 00:19:21.250
I tried to learn it once by photograph records, but
357
00:19:21.269 --> 00:19:23.529
there was a bad rattle in the speaker, so I
358
00:19:23.569 --> 00:19:26.430
never know if my accent is wrong vocally or mechanically.
359
00:19:27.210 --> 00:19:27.730
Mr.
360
00:19:27.789 --> 00:19:30.269
McGee tried to learn Spanish that way once, Beulah.
361
00:19:30.410 --> 00:19:32.089
You have any luck with it, sir? Nope, I took
362
00:19:32.150 --> 00:19:34.549
five lessons, then tried to order dinner in a Spanish restaurant.
363
00:19:35.089 --> 00:19:37.380
The hat-checked girl slapped me, the waiter gave me an apron,
364
00:19:37.400 --> 00:19:39.380
and the cashier handed over all her dough and called
365
00:19:39.400 --> 00:19:44.059
the cops. I guess I'm strictly a Latin from Peoria.
366
00:19:44.079 --> 00:19:46.720
Get his face, down the way to him.
367
00:19:46.740 --> 00:19:47.789
A Latin from Peoria.
368
00:19:47.880 --> 00:19:48.480
I love that man.
369
00:20:02.190 --> 00:20:05.470
The King's Man and the Fireman's Bride.
370
00:20:05.490 --> 00:20:10.259
Fireman goes a-gee, who married in June, wants to be free.
371
00:20:10.670 --> 00:20:15.119
He bought a handsome love nest, but his hard-lying.
372
00:20:14.480 --> 00:20:18.900
Spouse likes a firehouse. She wears a crimson skirt, a
373
00:20:18.980 --> 00:20:21.579
fireman's hat, a red flannel shirt.
374
00:20:21.619 --> 00:20:22.609
Whee!
375
00:20:22.700 --> 00:20:25.470
Bang goes the bell and she's off, boys, in a
376
00:20:25.529 --> 00:20:27.230
cloud of confusion and dirt.
377
00:20:27.750 --> 00:20:27.890
Whee!
378
00:20:28.849 --> 00:20:29.759
Wait a minute, boys.
379
00:20:29.799 --> 00:20:31.160
They're going to run in the hole.
380
00:20:31.180 --> 00:20:31.839
Well, hurry up.
381
00:20:31.849 --> 00:20:32.230
Woo-hoo!
382
00:20:39.910 --> 00:20:44.160
The fireman's bride, the fireman's bride won't stay.
383
00:20:43.880 --> 00:20:45.680
Home by her fireside.
384
00:20:46.119 --> 00:20:50.900
On all accounts, she'd rather bounce in a fireman's nest.
385
00:20:51.460 --> 00:20:54.529
She leaps to the engine and clings to the hose.
386
00:20:54.589 --> 00:20:58.450
How she hangs on, nobody knows. Out comes the net
387
00:20:58.529 --> 00:21:01.490
and then over she goes. High up they throw her
388
00:21:01.549 --> 00:21:07.000
while she hollers, Lord! The fireman's bride, people confide, has.
389
00:21:06.619 --> 00:21:08.900
The fireman goggle-eyed.
390
00:21:09.019 --> 00:21:14.140
High as a kite, ain't she a sight, naughty fireman's bride.
391
00:21:14.259 --> 00:21:14.329
Oh.
392
00:21:19.369 --> 00:21:20.230
Yippee! More!
393
00:21:42.420 --> 00:21:48.049
The fireman cries, people confide, as the fireman goggle eyes.
394
00:21:48.170 --> 00:21:51.190
High as a kite, ain't they a sight.
395
00:21:51.269 --> 00:21:57.180
Roaring around all over town with the fireman's cry.
396
00:22:09.680 --> 00:22:11.700
McGee, I just looked into the hall closet and I
397
00:22:11.740 --> 00:22:13.819
want to congratulate you. I think it looks wonderful.
398
00:22:13.839 --> 00:22:16.289
Oh, it's nothing that any red-blooded American boy couldn't have done.
399
00:22:16.569 --> 00:22:18.950
His wife kept hollering at him about it. Hey, how
400
00:22:18.970 --> 00:22:19.670
does this shirt look?
401
00:22:19.970 --> 00:22:21.349
Very nice when you put a tie on.
402
00:22:21.369 --> 00:22:21.990
A tie?
403
00:22:22.029 --> 00:22:24.109
This is a sports shirt. Didn't you see that picture
404
00:22:24.130 --> 00:22:26.150
of Jack Carson in last night's paper? He was wearing
405
00:22:26.170 --> 00:22:27.230
a shirt exactly like this one.
406
00:22:27.789 --> 00:22:32.170
Jack Carson is a comedian. You're more the Herbert Marshall type.
407
00:22:35.150 --> 00:22:36.349
My, George, I think I am at that.
408
00:22:36.369 --> 00:22:36.589
You are?
409
00:22:36.769 --> 00:22:36.930
Yeah.
410
00:22:37.789 --> 00:22:39.569
Does Herbert Marshall wear a bow or a born hand?
411
00:22:39.589 --> 00:22:41.930
Because I want to... Oh, I'll bet that's her. Too
412
00:22:41.950 --> 00:22:44.049
late for a necktie. If you can casually drop Jack
413
00:22:44.069 --> 00:22:46.210
Carson into the conversation, I'll explain about the sports shirt.
414
00:22:46.269 --> 00:22:48.890
Just forget it, dearie. Let her take you as you are.
415
00:22:48.930 --> 00:22:49.700
Come in.
416
00:22:50.299 --> 00:22:51.380
Oh, how do you do, Mrs.
417
00:22:51.420 --> 00:22:51.960
Carstairs?
418
00:22:52.000 --> 00:22:54.779
Do come in. How do you do, my dear? So
419
00:22:54.839 --> 00:22:56.220
nice of you to have me for tea.
420
00:22:56.460 --> 00:22:58.279
Hiya, Carstie. Wiggle out of the mink and toss the
421
00:22:58.299 --> 00:22:59.420
weary frame on an orange crate.
422
00:23:02.660 --> 00:23:03.460
Good day, Mr.
423
00:23:03.500 --> 00:23:03.839
McGee.
424
00:23:04.460 --> 00:23:06.569
Am I to construe that bit of jargon as an
425
00:23:06.609 --> 00:23:07.880
invitation to be seated?
426
00:23:07.900 --> 00:23:11.829
You ain't whistling Dixie, babe. Try this chair over here.
427
00:23:12.210 --> 00:23:13.869
You can sink down in that like a sow in
428
00:23:13.910 --> 00:23:14.309
a swamp.
429
00:23:20.890 --> 00:23:22.769
Here, let me take your coat, Mrs.
430
00:23:22.809 --> 00:23:23.250
Carstairs.
431
00:23:23.309 --> 00:23:24.849
I'll hang it right here in the hall closet.
432
00:23:24.869 --> 00:23:27.259
Hey, look out. Don't open that. That's a... Oh, yeah,
433
00:23:27.299 --> 00:23:30.579
I forgot. That's okay. My gosh, I'm not used to
434
00:23:30.619 --> 00:23:33.839
this yet. Go ahead, open it.
435
00:23:33.900 --> 00:23:34.720
He's joking, Mrs.
436
00:23:34.779 --> 00:23:35.400
Carsten.
437
00:23:35.660 --> 00:23:37.980
He's always kidding me about this hall closet being too
438
00:23:38.019 --> 00:23:38.759
full of everything.
439
00:23:38.779 --> 00:23:45.380
I'm sure it looks very neat, my dear. You are
440
00:23:45.440 --> 00:23:47.059
evidently an excellent housekeeper.
441
00:23:47.079 --> 00:23:49.089
Oh, I sometimes think I'm almost too fussy.
442
00:23:49.109 --> 00:23:50.460
I sometimes think so, too, myself.
443
00:23:52.049 --> 00:23:53.970
Oh, well, it was so nice of you to come over, Mrs.
444
00:23:54.009 --> 00:23:54.569
Carstier.
445
00:23:54.710 --> 00:23:56.950
I have been looking forward to it, my dear. I
446
00:23:57.009 --> 00:24:00.269
think afternoon tea is such a pleasant custom. The English
447
00:24:00.309 --> 00:24:01.430
do those things so well.
448
00:24:01.450 --> 00:24:01.769
You know.
449
00:24:01.890 --> 00:24:04.410
Yeah, but I bet it gets monotonous day after day, Carstie.
450
00:24:04.470 --> 00:24:05.890
Three or four weeks of it and I'd run out
451
00:24:05.910 --> 00:24:06.670
of small talk.
452
00:24:08.289 --> 00:24:09.970
Oh, I rather doubt that, Mr.
453
00:24:09.990 --> 00:24:10.349
McGee.
454
00:24:11.049 --> 00:24:13.579
The longer I know you, the smaller your talk seems
455
00:24:13.599 --> 00:24:13.859
to get.
456
00:24:17.339 --> 00:24:19.099
Ah, you're not saying that just because you admire me,
457
00:24:19.180 --> 00:24:20.880
are you, Carstein?
458
00:24:21.119 --> 00:24:23.660
I rather doubt that my statement was motivated by any
459
00:24:23.700 --> 00:24:24.930
such consideration, Mr.
460
00:24:24.970 --> 00:24:27.670
McGee. Well, you're not a bad kid yourself. Have a cigarette?
461
00:24:28.589 --> 00:24:28.930
Thank you.
462
00:24:28.990 --> 00:24:30.470
I don't smoke. Neither do I, Mrs.
463
00:24:30.490 --> 00:24:30.890
Carstein.
464
00:24:30.910 --> 00:24:32.640
Well, that needn't stop you kids from picking up a
465
00:24:32.650 --> 00:24:34.259
few packages for the old man now, then.
466
00:24:36.619 --> 00:24:38.759
Uh, are you quite sure we're not keeping.
467
00:24:38.500 --> 00:24:41.200
You from some important masculine affairs, Mr. McGee?
468
00:24:41.420 --> 00:24:44.869
No, no, I got nothing particular to do, Carstie. Hmm.
469
00:24:46.349 --> 00:24:49.029
This is such a charming little living room of yours, Mrs.
470
00:24:49.069 --> 00:24:51.910
McGee. And may I say that that is an extremely
471
00:24:51.970 --> 00:24:52.970
handsome piano you have.
472
00:24:52.990 --> 00:24:55.569
Well, thank you. I think very highly of that piano.
473
00:24:55.589 --> 00:24:58.170
Yeah, I gave her that piano for Christmas, eight years ago, Carstie.
474
00:24:58.670 --> 00:25:00.599
I just happened to be walking through the Bondtown department
475
00:25:00.619 --> 00:25:03.160
store one day, see? Thinking about nothing in particular.
476
00:25:03.180 --> 00:25:03.779
Naturally.
477
00:25:05.299 --> 00:25:07.089
And I seen this pen and I says to myself,
478
00:25:07.130 --> 00:25:07.569
there's the.
479
00:25:07.670 --> 00:25:08.890
Excuse me a minute, Mrs.
480
00:25:08.910 --> 00:25:09.430
Carstairs.
481
00:25:09.700 --> 00:25:10.099
Come in.
482
00:25:11.349 --> 00:25:14.289
Hello, Mrs. McGee. Hi, Mr. McGee. Hi, Jimmy, my boy.
483
00:25:14.349 --> 00:25:17.250
Here's your check. It's all made out. Two bucks, 40 cents. Oh,
484
00:25:17.289 --> 00:25:18.750
thanks a lot. Here's the receipt.
485
00:25:18.769 --> 00:25:20.170
How are the wife and family, Jimmy?
486
00:25:20.359 --> 00:25:23.720
Just swell, thanks. My little girl was eight years old yesterday.
487
00:25:23.940 --> 00:25:26.359
Gee whiz. The time sure flies, don't it, kid?
488
00:25:26.480 --> 00:25:26.859
Yeah.
489
00:25:27.160 --> 00:25:29.519
You know, she was born just a few months after
490
00:25:29.539 --> 00:25:30.400
you bought that piano.
491
00:25:30.500 --> 00:25:32.700
Yes, yes. She must have been if she's eight years
492
00:25:32.759 --> 00:25:33.279
old now.
493
00:25:33.859 --> 00:25:35.880
You're going to have that thing paid for before you
494
00:25:35.920 --> 00:25:40.980
know it. Well, thanks a lot, folks. See you next week.
495
00:25:43.099 --> 00:25:47.710
Now then... What were we talking about, Mrs. Carstairs? You
496
00:25:47.750 --> 00:25:48.849
were saying that Mr.
497
00:25:48.890 --> 00:25:51.250
McGee gave you this piano as a Christmas gift eight
498
00:25:51.289 --> 00:25:51.839
years ago.
499
00:25:51.890 --> 00:25:52.240
Yeah.
500
00:25:52.539 --> 00:25:54.240
It was so thoughtful of him to make it a
501
00:25:54.299 --> 00:25:55.279
weekly remembrance.
502
00:25:58.589 --> 00:26:00.509
My dear, I would like to see the rest of
503
00:26:00.549 --> 00:26:01.059
your house.
504
00:26:01.119 --> 00:26:03.039
Why, sure, Carsey. Come right along. It may not be
505
00:26:03.079 --> 00:26:03.940
a palace, but it's home.
506
00:26:04.039 --> 00:26:05.920
Yes, do come and see it, Mrs. Carsey.
507
00:26:06.000 --> 00:26:06.559
Oh, thank you.
508
00:26:07.019 --> 00:26:08.509
This is the dining room in here.
509
00:26:08.529 --> 00:26:12.559
Yeah, you can tell that by the table. This table
510
00:26:12.579 --> 00:26:14.940
seats 12 people when we put the extra leaves in, Carstie.
511
00:26:15.619 --> 00:26:17.140
The only thing is we haven't got any extra leaves.
512
00:26:18.289 --> 00:26:21.529
I used them to make some shelves in the garage.
513
00:26:21.609 --> 00:26:22.410
Interesting.
514
00:26:22.990 --> 00:26:25.950
Personally, I think large parties are such a bore.
515
00:26:26.410 --> 00:26:28.230
Oh, you're just self-conscious, Carstie.
516
00:26:28.630 --> 00:26:31.130
And right through here is the kitchen, Mrs.
517
00:26:31.150 --> 00:26:31.769
Carstie.
518
00:26:32.470 --> 00:26:33.769
Come you want, ma'am?
519
00:26:34.029 --> 00:26:38.589
No, thanks, Beulah. Just giving Carstie the 40-cent tour. Good afternoon, Beulah.
520
00:26:38.730 --> 00:26:44.059
Oh, good afternoon, Mrs. Costell. You can take the tea
521
00:26:44.079 --> 00:26:45.420
things in any time, Beulah.
522
00:26:45.519 --> 00:26:46.359
Coming right up, ma'am.
523
00:26:46.799 --> 00:26:48.319
What a cozy little kitchen, Mrs.
524
00:26:48.359 --> 00:26:49.579
McGee. So convenient.
525
00:26:49.599 --> 00:26:51.859
Oh, it's a pip for a small family like us, Garstie.
526
00:26:52.480 --> 00:26:54.759
You can build yourself a five-decker salami sandwich and open
527
00:26:54.779 --> 00:26:56.640
a bottle of beer in here without walking five acres.
528
00:26:57.579 --> 00:26:58.140
Really?
529
00:26:58.680 --> 00:27:01.680
And that, I suppose, is the service box through that door, Mrs.
530
00:27:01.740 --> 00:27:02.019
McGee.
531
00:27:02.039 --> 00:27:02.480
This door?
532
00:27:02.500 --> 00:27:05.339
No, this is just the back stairs, Mrs. Garster. Hey,
533
00:27:05.380 --> 00:27:06.420
don't open that.
534
00:27:06.619 --> 00:27:08.680
That's where I put all the... Out of the car!
535
00:27:26.750 --> 00:27:28.539
She is serving the drawing room, ma'am.
536
00:27:38.940 --> 00:27:40.819
Why is it that some homes seem to have so
537
00:27:40.839 --> 00:27:43.430
much more charm than others? Is it because of more
538
00:27:43.470 --> 00:27:46.589
expensive furnishings? Well, not as a rule. It's a matter
539
00:27:46.609 --> 00:27:49.730
of good taste and good housekeeping, in which richly polished
540
00:27:49.769 --> 00:27:53.279
floors and other surfaces play a very important part. Floors
541
00:27:53.299 --> 00:27:56.079
that are regularly waxed with Johnson's wax become more and
542
00:27:56.119 --> 00:27:58.809
more beautiful. They set off your furnishings to best advantage.
543
00:27:59.450 --> 00:28:01.569
There are many other uses for Johnson's Wax in a
544
00:28:01.569 --> 00:28:06.170
well-groomed home. Picture frames, ornaments, windowsills, even the fireplace and
545
00:28:06.190 --> 00:28:09.259
the andirons. And, of course, you know that the tough
546
00:28:09.299 --> 00:28:12.539
film of wax protects all of these surfaces from wear, dirt,
547
00:28:12.680 --> 00:28:16.140
and moisture. Also, that it saves you hours of housekeeping
548
00:28:16.180 --> 00:28:19.079
work because waxed surfaces are so easy to keep clean.
549
00:28:19.880 --> 00:28:24.779
Careful housekeepers call this protective housekeeping with genuine Johnson's wax,
550
00:28:25.099 --> 00:28:28.380
which comes in three forms, paste, liquid, and the new
551
00:28:28.440 --> 00:28:31.769
cream wax, especially developed for use on furniture and woodwork.
552
00:28:37.670 --> 00:28:39.730
How long did Carstairs stay after I left, Molly?
553
00:28:39.809 --> 00:28:43.940
Oh, about three cups and six crumpets. But what made
554
00:28:43.960 --> 00:28:45.140
you leave in such a hurry?
555
00:28:45.289 --> 00:28:48.529
Look, Mommy, when a woman like Carsty takes my own
556
00:28:48.569 --> 00:28:50.789
mandolin back in the living room and starts playing tea
557
00:28:50.809 --> 00:28:53.250
for two on it, I can take a hint. I
558
00:28:53.269 --> 00:28:54.650
don't have to be hit with a brick bat.
559
00:28:54.950 --> 00:28:58.369
No, although I'll admit the idea crossed my mind. Huh?
560
00:28:58.789 --> 00:28:59.930
Oh, good night.
561
00:29:00.049 --> 00:29:00.619
Good night, all.
562
00:29:06.450 --> 00:29:08.670
This is Marlo Wilcox speaking for the makers of Johnson
563
00:29:08.690 --> 00:29:11.430
& Wax, 224 Hold and Industry, inviting you all to
564
00:29:11.450 --> 00:29:13.180
be with us again next Tuesday night.
565
00:29:13.299 --> 00:29:16.619
Good night. This is the National Broadcasting.
566
00:29:18.359 --> 00:29:21.900
Company.
567
00:29:22.980 --> 00:29:25.559
That was Fibber McGee and Molly, Clean Closet.
568
00:29:25.680 --> 00:29:25.980
Mrs.
569
00:29:26.039 --> 00:29:29.240
Carstairs is coming. Good night and keep the dial tuned
570
00:29:29.279 --> 00:29:30.640
for more radio comedy.
1
00:00:00.110 --> 00:00:04.200
At 79 Wistful Vista, Molly McGee has set her sights
2
00:00:04.280 --> 00:00:07.639
on the family hall closet while Fibber is determined to
3
00:00:07.700 --> 00:00:12.509
take charge of the cleanup himself. Visitors are expected, Mrs.
4
00:00:12.570 --> 00:00:16.809
Carstairs among them, and the accumulated contents of that familiar
5
00:00:16.890 --> 00:00:22.379
closet soon demand attention. Tonight's visit is Fibber McGee and Molly,
6
00:00:22.699 --> 00:00:28.780
episode 443, Clean Closet, Mrs. Carstairs is Coming, first heard
7
00:00:28.879 --> 00:00:34.520
on NBC on June 5th, 1945. Jim and Marion Jordan
8
00:00:34.619 --> 00:00:37.520
are Fibber and Molly in a script credited to Don
9
00:00:37.579 --> 00:00:41.240
Quinn and Phil Leslie. Ladies and gentlemen, the McGee household
10
00:00:41.320 --> 00:00:44.320
is ready for company. Now, back to the golden age
11
00:00:44.380 --> 00:00:44.920
of radio.
12
00:00:45.520 --> 00:00:48.340
The Johnson Wax Program with Fibber McGee and Molly.
13
00:00:48.359 --> 00:00:48.539
Yeah!
14
00:00:56.380 --> 00:00:59.240
The makers of Johnson Wax products for home and industry
15
00:00:59.280 --> 00:01:01.659
present Fibber McGee and Molly, written by Don Quinn and
16
00:01:01.700 --> 00:01:04.500
Phil Leslie, with music by the King's Men and Billy
17
00:01:04.540 --> 00:01:28.390
Mills Orchestra. If you've ever thought why should I go
18
00:01:28.430 --> 00:01:31.150
to the trouble of cleaning and polishing my car, I'd
19
00:01:31.189 --> 00:01:33.150
like to suggest that it seems to be a matter
20
00:01:33.209 --> 00:01:36.030
both of good business and of personal pride. It's good
21
00:01:36.049 --> 00:01:39.000
business to protect the paint job from injury by removing
22
00:01:39.060 --> 00:01:42.439
destructive road grime and dirt, thus increasing the trade-in value
23
00:01:42.459 --> 00:01:45.680
of your car. And on that subject of personal pride,
24
00:01:46.060 --> 00:01:48.900
the impression your car makes on your friends and associates,
25
00:01:49.340 --> 00:01:51.890
the impression it makes on yourself, can be very important.
26
00:01:52.439 --> 00:01:55.480
So give your car an occasional beauty treatment with Johnson's
27
00:01:55.519 --> 00:01:58.680
Car New, the popular auto polish that both cleans and
28
00:01:58.780 --> 00:02:02.359
polishes with one application. Car New is so easy to use,
29
00:02:02.379 --> 00:02:05.400
you'll gladly do the job yourself. It's a liquid that
30
00:02:05.420 --> 00:02:08.860
dries on application to a white powder. Wipe off this powder,
31
00:02:09.219 --> 00:02:12.780
and there's that beautiful finish you'd almost forgotten. Car New
32
00:02:12.960 --> 00:02:17.599
is unchanged. Your dealer has it. Ask for Johnson's Car New,
33
00:02:17.639 --> 00:02:46.849
spelled C-A-R-N-U. Anytime you pass 79 Westville Vista and hear
34
00:02:46.870 --> 00:02:50.860
the windows rattling slightly and a low, nasty murmur coming
35
00:02:50.919 --> 00:02:53.879
out under the door, you'll know the squire has received
36
00:02:53.939 --> 00:02:58.159
his monthly bank statement. And here he is, rapidly losing
37
00:02:58.219 --> 00:03:01.860
his equilibrium while trying to find his balance, while his
38
00:03:01.919 --> 00:03:04.780
wife does her best to drown him out. As we meet,
39
00:03:05.120 --> 00:03:06.639
Fibber McGee and Molly.
40
00:03:06.659 --> 00:03:15.020
Thank you. Those dirty double-crossing, pocket-picking book jugglers. You know
41
00:03:15.060 --> 00:03:17.370
what that Fourth National Bank done to me this month, Molly?
42
00:03:17.650 --> 00:03:18.830
I can't imagine, dearie.
43
00:03:19.409 --> 00:03:22.750
They figured my balance exactly the same as I figured it.
44
00:03:23.530 --> 00:03:26.590
Now I don't know where I am. I got nothing
45
00:03:26.610 --> 00:03:31.680
to go on. I have a notion of... Hey! Hey,
46
00:03:31.800 --> 00:03:33.539
can't you do that a little quieter, Molly?
47
00:03:33.819 --> 00:03:34.659
I'm sorry, dearie.
48
00:03:34.860 --> 00:03:37.199
I'm trying very hard to concentrate on this statement, and
49
00:03:37.240 --> 00:03:39.599
that noise is very distracting. Very distracting.
50
00:03:40.050 --> 00:03:42.050
Well, if your figures agree with the banks, what is
51
00:03:42.090 --> 00:03:42.949
there to concentrate on?
52
00:03:43.449 --> 00:03:46.310
Aha, that's just the point. Anytime they agree with me,
53
00:03:46.370 --> 00:03:51.250
they gotta be wrong. They know darn well that I... Hey,
54
00:03:52.009 --> 00:03:53.599
what are you doing with my wood-burning outfit?
55
00:03:54.680 --> 00:03:55.560
Is that what this is?
56
00:03:55.639 --> 00:03:58.620
Why, certainly that's what this is. Don't you remember that
57
00:03:58.659 --> 00:04:00.520
spool rack I made for you with all the design
58
00:04:00.539 --> 00:04:02.719
I burned onto it with that? You said that was
59
00:04:02.740 --> 00:04:04.879
the prettiest spool rack with that particular design onto it
60
00:04:04.919 --> 00:04:05.479
you ever saw.
61
00:04:05.819 --> 00:04:08.300
Oh, yes, of course. Well, as long as I was
62
00:04:08.340 --> 00:04:10.300
cleaning out the hall closet, I merely thought I'd put
63
00:04:10.340 --> 00:04:10.879
things away.
64
00:04:10.969 --> 00:04:13.330
Now, be very careful with stuff like my wood-burning outfit.
65
00:04:13.389 --> 00:04:15.099
One of these days, that fat will come back and.
66
00:04:16.290 --> 00:04:19.089
Your what? I'm cleaning out the hall closet.
67
00:04:19.589 --> 00:04:19.850
Mrs.
68
00:04:19.889 --> 00:04:22.189
Carstairs is coming for tea this afternoon. I don't want
69
00:04:22.209 --> 00:04:24.730
her to wind up under an avalanche of moose heads, mandolins,
70
00:04:24.769 --> 00:04:25.529
and fish poles.
71
00:04:26.930 --> 00:04:29.430
Hey, now, wait a minute, kiddo. If anybody's going to
72
00:04:29.470 --> 00:04:31.639
clean out that closet, it'll be me. I got a
73
00:04:31.649 --> 00:04:34.500
lot of valuable stuff in there. By the way, what'd
74
00:04:34.519 --> 00:04:35.600
you do with my stamp collection?
75
00:04:35.879 --> 00:04:38.040
Heavenly days, did you have a stamp collection in there?
76
00:04:38.399 --> 00:04:40.500
Did I have a stamp collection in there, she said.
77
00:04:40.579 --> 00:04:41.180
She said that.
78
00:04:44.060 --> 00:04:46.199
Didn't you see a little celluloid envelope with a three-cent
79
00:04:46.220 --> 00:04:48.470
stamp in it that the cancellation was upside down onto it?
80
00:04:48.860 --> 00:04:51.100
You had a collection of one three-cent stamp?
81
00:04:51.519 --> 00:04:55.779
Well, it was the nucleus of a collection. The guy's
82
00:04:55.800 --> 00:04:58.959
got to start someplace. You better let me clean out
83
00:04:58.980 --> 00:05:02.139
that closet, Molly. Well, frankly, I don't think Carstairs coming
84
00:05:02.180 --> 00:05:03.699
to tea is a very good reason for it.
85
00:05:04.019 --> 00:05:06.420
Do you want her to think you married a bad housekeeper?
86
00:05:06.920 --> 00:05:10.620
What that old gooseberry thinks is frantically unimportant to me, mommy.
87
00:05:12.000 --> 00:05:14.470
Well, I don't want her to think now that.
88
00:05:14.490 --> 00:05:14.790
Hello, Mrs.
89
00:05:14.850 --> 00:05:15.189
McGee.
90
00:05:15.250 --> 00:05:15.730
Hello, Mr.
91
00:05:15.750 --> 00:05:15.949
McGee.
92
00:05:16.009 --> 00:05:16.670
Hello, Alice.
93
00:05:16.810 --> 00:05:18.639
Hiya, kid. Now, don't get in the way here now, huh?
94
00:05:18.649 --> 00:05:22.029
Creepers, are you cleaning out that closet? May I watch?
95
00:05:22.149 --> 00:05:23.889
Sure, but don't touch things, Alice. I got a lot
96
00:05:23.920 --> 00:05:26.120
of personal valuables in there. I don't want them all around.
97
00:05:26.540 --> 00:05:27.459
Like this stuff here.
98
00:05:28.879 --> 00:05:31.209
McGee, if that's what's been making this closet smell like
99
00:05:31.250 --> 00:05:34.689
a cider mill, throw it out. What?
100
00:05:35.129 --> 00:05:40.329
Throw out my old chemistry set? I went clear through
101
00:05:40.370 --> 00:05:41.509
high school with this stuff.
102
00:05:41.689 --> 00:05:43.079
Gee, did you really, Mr.
103
00:05:43.120 --> 00:05:50.379
McGee? Yes, and I remember the day he did it, Alice. Yeah,
104
00:05:50.800 --> 00:05:52.639
he went clear through the high school and through the
105
00:05:52.660 --> 00:05:56.399
roof of the laundry a block away. You know, his
106
00:05:56.480 --> 00:06:01.199
eyebrows haven't grown quite back yet. Look at him, Alice.
107
00:06:01.420 --> 00:06:03.399
I wish I could remember the formula I was working
108
00:06:03.439 --> 00:06:05.790
on that day. Seems to me I was on the
109
00:06:05.819 --> 00:06:10.600
track of a new kind of high-powered gasoline. I was
110
00:06:10.639 --> 00:06:12.720
going to call it Ethel in honor of my chemistry teacher,
111
00:06:12.779 --> 00:06:13.379
Ethel Fadich.
112
00:06:15.360 --> 00:06:18.379
But they've been making Ethel gasoline for years and years, Mr.
113
00:06:18.399 --> 00:06:18.810
McGee.
114
00:06:18.879 --> 00:06:19.149
What?
115
00:06:19.329 --> 00:06:22.009
They have? Sure. Well, by George, if I had the dough,
116
00:06:22.069 --> 00:06:24.470
I'd fight for my rights all through the juvenile court.
117
00:06:27.189 --> 00:06:27.930
Juvenile court?
118
00:06:27.990 --> 00:06:29.889
Well, sure. I was just a kid when I invented it.
119
00:06:31.519 --> 00:06:34.439
Oh, I think chemistry is wonderful, Mr. McGee. My cousin
120
00:06:34.500 --> 00:06:36.649
is a chemist, and he's just patented a new kind
121
00:06:36.709 --> 00:06:38.970
of glue that simply won't stick to anything.
122
00:06:39.069 --> 00:06:42.389
Why, Alice, what good is a glue that won't stick?
123
00:06:42.509 --> 00:06:44.569
Well, he says it will teach people not to break
124
00:06:44.629 --> 00:06:45.689
things in the first place.
125
00:06:46.050 --> 00:06:53.259
Well, it's simple stuff like that that makes fortunes for
126
00:06:53.279 --> 00:06:55.920
some people. I stumbled onto a freezing compound one day
127
00:06:55.939 --> 00:06:58.120
that kept a bottle of water cold for two days.
128
00:06:58.180 --> 00:06:59.199
What'd you call it, dearie?
129
00:06:59.500 --> 00:07:06.000
Ice. Creepers. I've been using it for years, and I never.
130
00:07:05.860 --> 00:07:07.699
Knew who thought it up. Yeah, and you know he
131
00:07:07.740 --> 00:07:09.819
never got a nickel from Sonia Handy for it either?
132
00:07:11.120 --> 00:07:12.699
Well, I got an idea I'm going to work on
133
00:07:12.759 --> 00:07:14.800
one of these days that'll put us all on easy street.
134
00:07:15.139 --> 00:07:16.730
And I'm not going to breathe it to a soul,
135
00:07:16.879 --> 00:07:19.170
except a few close friends. What is it, Mr.
136
00:07:19.189 --> 00:07:19.490
McGee?
137
00:07:19.529 --> 00:07:21.509
Well, I... Shut the door, Molly.
138
00:07:21.569 --> 00:07:21.889
Okay.
139
00:07:22.490 --> 00:07:25.689
Thanks. After what happened with that ethyl gasoline deal, I'm
140
00:07:25.730 --> 00:07:29.410
kind of suspicious. You know what they feed silkworms on
141
00:07:29.430 --> 00:07:30.209
to make them make silk?
142
00:07:30.649 --> 00:07:31.050
Certainly.
143
00:07:31.389 --> 00:07:32.180
Mulberry leaves.
144
00:07:32.839 --> 00:07:34.500
Ever think what might happen if you fed them on
145
00:07:34.560 --> 00:07:35.779
leaves from a rubber plant?
146
00:07:37.459 --> 00:07:38.360
Jeepers!
147
00:07:38.540 --> 00:07:43.980
Girdles! Exactly. Now, not a word of this to anybody, see?
148
00:07:44.579 --> 00:07:46.790
The nylon people would shoot me down like a dog
149
00:07:46.829 --> 00:07:50.730
if it ever got out. But that's for the future.
150
00:07:50.769 --> 00:07:53.000
Right now, I've got to straighten out this closet. One side....
151
00:07:59.670 --> 00:08:00.839
Billy Mills and the orchestra and The More I See You.
152
00:08:00.829 --> 00:08:05.089
© BF-WATCH TV 2021.
153
00:08:45.549 --> 00:09:13.480
THE END THE END.
154
00:09:45.370 --> 00:09:47.850
I think when you get that whole closet cleaned out, dearie,
155
00:09:47.870 --> 00:09:48.870
the house will look very nice.
156
00:09:48.990 --> 00:09:50.649
No, it's a lot of wasted effort just to make
157
00:09:50.669 --> 00:09:53.710
an impression on old Mrs. Carstairs. That old man Trapp
158
00:09:53.769 --> 00:09:56.190
is so nearsighted that last week in their grocery she
159
00:09:56.230 --> 00:09:58.080
paid two bits for her left hand thinking it was
160
00:09:58.100 --> 00:09:58.820
a bunch of bananas.
161
00:09:59.049 --> 00:10:02.779
Oh, you're exaggerating.
162
00:10:03.220 --> 00:10:05.940
Yeah, I was exaggerating. She only paid 23 cents.
163
00:10:08.080 --> 00:10:11.240
You know, you'd like Mrs. Carstairs if you'd stop antagonizing her.
164
00:10:11.259 --> 00:10:11.480
Me?
165
00:10:11.539 --> 00:10:14.639
Stop antagonizing her? You got the slip cover on the
166
00:10:14.659 --> 00:10:19.870
wrong love seat, Snooki. She antagonizes me. Why, she looks
167
00:10:19.889 --> 00:10:22.049
at me like I was something unpleasant she just found
168
00:10:22.070 --> 00:10:23.049
in her club sandwich.
169
00:10:23.710 --> 00:10:29.309
Well, my goodness, I don't think she does. Come in. Oh,
170
00:10:29.389 --> 00:10:30.409
it's Dr. Gamble.
171
00:10:30.460 --> 00:10:31.549
Yeah, I recognize him.
172
00:10:31.620 --> 00:10:32.250
Hello, Doctor.
173
00:10:32.289 --> 00:10:39.639
Hello, Molly. Hello there, Rumpelstiltskin. Rumpel-what-skin? Rumpelstiltskin. A legendary character,
174
00:10:39.879 --> 00:10:41.100
like you. Oh, thanks.
175
00:10:42.000 --> 00:10:44.519
Excuse the looks of the place, Doctor. McGee is cleaning
176
00:10:44.559 --> 00:10:45.460
out the hall closet.
177
00:10:45.659 --> 00:10:48.460
Voluntarily, or did you get a court order? As the
178
00:10:48.480 --> 00:10:50.419
trout says when he snapped at the fly, I'm doing
179
00:10:50.460 --> 00:10:55.059
this on my own hook. Don't get in my way, Batso.
180
00:10:55.100 --> 00:11:02.389
I'm busy. Well, interesting evidence of a misspent life you
181
00:11:02.429 --> 00:11:05.629
have there, chubby. Where'd you get the school bells? Christmas
182
00:11:05.669 --> 00:11:06.750
present from Mr. Chips?
183
00:11:07.149 --> 00:11:09.809
Those are Swiss bells, doctor. He used those when he
184
00:11:09.830 --> 00:11:13.480
was in vaudeville. Play something for the doctor, dearie.
185
00:11:13.519 --> 00:11:16.639
He wouldn't appreciate it, or I would. That guy's got
186
00:11:16.679 --> 00:11:21.509
less music in him than a wet drum. As usual, beanbag,
187
00:11:21.809 --> 00:11:24.529
you are speaking from the depths of your abysmal ignorance.
188
00:11:24.929 --> 00:11:27.529
I was seriously considering an operatic career at one time.
189
00:11:27.690 --> 00:11:30.289
My goodness, were you really, doctor? Tenor or baritone?
190
00:11:30.409 --> 00:11:32.610
You sang second base with the Brooklyn Dodgers, didn't you, doc?
191
00:11:34.750 --> 00:11:37.450
I refuse to be drawn into a musical controversy with you,
192
00:11:37.529 --> 00:11:40.370
you illiterate little pack rat. You're the kind who'd sit
193
00:11:40.389 --> 00:11:42.450
through a movie three times to hear the Hoosier Hot
194
00:11:42.490 --> 00:11:45.450
Shots play the Hawaiian War Chant on a washboard and
195
00:11:45.529 --> 00:11:50.639
auto horn. You're darn well right I would, big boy.
196
00:11:50.700 --> 00:11:55.039
That's real music. See what I mean, Molly? Every time
197
00:11:55.080 --> 00:11:57.659
he mentions the sextet from Lucia, he asks if you'll
198
00:11:57.679 --> 00:12:02.210
pardon the expression. Remind me to sing for you sometime,
199
00:12:02.250 --> 00:12:02.590
my dear.
200
00:12:02.690 --> 00:12:04.409
Oh, that I will, doctor. I will indeed.
201
00:12:04.570 --> 00:12:06.309
Sing her something from Ada, doc. She loves Ada.
202
00:12:06.909 --> 00:12:07.330
From what?
203
00:12:07.909 --> 00:12:10.940
Ada. That's the opera, Ada. Are you by any chance
204
00:12:11.000 --> 00:12:14.600
referring to the opera Aida by Verdi? Oh, yes. First
205
00:12:14.639 --> 00:12:17.600
presented in Cairo, Egypt, December 24th, 1871? Hmm.
206
00:12:17.620 --> 00:12:20.059
I think that's what he means, Doctor.
207
00:12:20.620 --> 00:12:22.750
I think so, too. And if you'll excuse me, I'll
208
00:12:22.789 --> 00:12:24.809
get out of here before I lose what little respect
209
00:12:24.909 --> 00:12:26.970
I have for the little music lover. No, I was
210
00:12:27.009 --> 00:12:29.690
just kidding, Doc. I know my music. I didn't study
211
00:12:29.710 --> 00:12:31.610
the mandolin 25 years for nothing, you know.
212
00:12:31.649 --> 00:12:31.720
Oh.
213
00:12:34.279 --> 00:12:35.740
That's one man's opinion.
214
00:12:36.120 --> 00:12:38.440
Well, he really knows more music than you think, Doctor.
215
00:12:38.480 --> 00:12:40.279
If he knows any music, it's more than I think.
216
00:12:41.960 --> 00:12:47.789
Let me ask you one question, Rigoletto. Shoot, Siegfried. What
217
00:12:47.950 --> 00:12:50.990
is counterpoint? Why, that's when a kid in a candy
218
00:12:51.009 --> 00:12:52.529
store asks, how many of these do you get for
219
00:12:52.549 --> 00:12:52.870
a penny?
220
00:12:57.730 --> 00:12:58.470
That's all, brother.
221
00:12:58.789 --> 00:12:59.389
So long, Molly.
222
00:13:06.600 --> 00:13:08.500
Oh, for goodness sakes, McGee, I don't know why you
223
00:13:08.519 --> 00:13:11.009
have to tease people like that. Why do you pretend
224
00:13:11.029 --> 00:13:11.809
to be so dumb?
225
00:13:12.350 --> 00:13:16.529
I like to be underestimated. Then when I do something unintelligent,
226
00:13:16.570 --> 00:13:20.840
I get twice the credit. Well, I better get busy.
227
00:13:21.799 --> 00:13:23.820
McGee, I wish you'd get rid of that old moose head.
228
00:13:23.919 --> 00:13:29.870
Oh, I will after she has her tea. Wouldn't be
229
00:13:29.889 --> 00:13:31.470
polite to give her the bum's rush the minute she
230
00:13:31.509 --> 00:13:32.070
gets here, you know.
231
00:13:32.169 --> 00:13:33.710
Oh, I was not referring to Mrs.
232
00:13:33.789 --> 00:13:34.350
Carstairs.
233
00:13:34.409 --> 00:13:35.809
I meant that one in the closet there.
234
00:13:35.950 --> 00:13:36.409
Oh, that.
235
00:13:37.169 --> 00:13:39.190
Well, I still think that'd look swell over the fireplace.
236
00:13:39.610 --> 00:13:41.929
I think it would look better in the fireplace. It's
237
00:13:41.950 --> 00:13:44.649
such a... Oh, my goodness, I almost forgot. We're practically
238
00:13:44.740 --> 00:13:46.639
out of sugar. I wonder if Mr. Sale would send
239
00:13:46.679 --> 00:13:47.399
some over right away.
240
00:13:47.580 --> 00:13:49.200
I'll call and ask him. He owes me a favor.
241
00:13:49.240 --> 00:13:49.639
For what?
242
00:13:50.000 --> 00:13:51.820
I called his attention to a misspelled word in one
243
00:13:51.840 --> 00:13:54.179
of his ads last week. He had an L in salmon.
244
00:13:54.559 --> 00:13:54.700
Oh.
245
00:13:55.139 --> 00:13:59.379
Well, call him anyway, dearie.
246
00:13:59.519 --> 00:14:00.220
Hand me the phone.
247
00:14:00.299 --> 00:14:00.639
Here.
248
00:14:00.720 --> 00:14:01.059
Thanks.
249
00:14:01.860 --> 00:14:05.059
Hello, operator. Give me Jimmy Sales Grow. Is that you, Mert?
250
00:14:05.320 --> 00:14:06.100
Oh, dear.
251
00:14:06.159 --> 00:14:09.139
How's every little thing, Mert? It is, eh? What's that, Mert?
252
00:14:09.899 --> 00:14:14.139
Your brother. Judge gave him 20 years, eh? Gee, that's great, Mert.
253
00:14:14.259 --> 00:14:16.210
Good heavens, McGee. What's great about that?
254
00:14:16.419 --> 00:14:18.850
Mert's brother helped old Judge Jeffrey hustle some green corn.
255
00:14:19.419 --> 00:14:21.330
Did such a good job, the judge gave him 20 years.
256
00:14:27.100 --> 00:14:30.629
What's that, Mert? Yeah. Okay, I'll call later.
257
00:14:33.009 --> 00:14:34.740
Well, maybe we can squeeze by with what.
258
00:14:34.600 --> 00:14:37.259
Sugar we have, dearie. Carstairs shouldn't know to use sugar anyway.
259
00:14:37.539 --> 00:14:42.570
She shows every lump she's ever eaten. Particularly around... Hello, folks.
260
00:14:42.590 --> 00:14:44.029
I was just going by and I thought.
261
00:14:44.070 --> 00:14:46.330
Oh, gone and watch your step there, will you, Junior?
262
00:14:46.370 --> 00:14:47.330
Now look what you did.
263
00:14:47.529 --> 00:14:50.570
Oh, I'm sorry, pal. Very clumsy of me. What did
264
00:14:50.610 --> 00:14:51.090
I step on?
265
00:14:51.129 --> 00:14:52.570
Just an old cigar box, Mr.
266
00:14:52.610 --> 00:14:53.070
Wilcox.
267
00:14:53.110 --> 00:14:53.950
Think nothing of it.
268
00:14:54.009 --> 00:14:55.850
What do you mean, just an old cigar box? You
269
00:14:55.889 --> 00:14:57.269
know what I was saving that for?
270
00:14:57.370 --> 00:14:58.789
No, what were you saving it for?
271
00:14:58.820 --> 00:15:02.320
Well, I was... Oh, I don't remember right now, but...
272
00:15:03.120 --> 00:15:04.620
I'll bet I had a definite use for it.
273
00:15:06.190 --> 00:15:09.269
Uh, excuse me for pointing, but just what are you doing, pal?
274
00:15:09.330 --> 00:15:10.090
Playing store?
275
00:15:10.450 --> 00:15:12.610
No, he's cleaning out this closet, Mr. Wilcox.
276
00:15:12.690 --> 00:15:12.950
Mrs.
277
00:15:12.990 --> 00:15:14.970
Carstairs is coming for tea and we want things to
278
00:15:14.990 --> 00:15:15.690
look real nice.
279
00:15:15.789 --> 00:15:17.750
Yeah, she's the kind of old snoopy puss that'll be
280
00:15:17.769 --> 00:15:20.690
poking her snozzles into all the closets, Junior. You know
281
00:15:20.730 --> 00:15:23.070
the type. Talking about the weather with one hand and
282
00:15:23.129 --> 00:15:26.970
counting the pillowcases with the other. Oh, look, you've got
283
00:15:27.009 --> 00:15:27.909
her wrong, pal.
284
00:15:27.950 --> 00:15:29.830
Mrs. Carstairs is a very nice person.
285
00:15:29.850 --> 00:15:31.990
That's what I keep telling you, Mr. Wilcox, but they
286
00:15:32.029 --> 00:15:33.549
just don't seem to get along together.
287
00:15:33.889 --> 00:15:39.029
Ah, pata. She's just a wilted puddle off the Mayflower. Why,
288
00:15:39.049 --> 00:15:43.320
she's one of the worst old... Hey, what are you doing, Junior?
289
00:15:43.600 --> 00:15:46.019
Just looking in this closet, pal. I never saw it
290
00:15:46.080 --> 00:15:48.899
empty before. I want to satisfy my curiosity.
291
00:15:49.159 --> 00:15:51.019
Curiosity about what, Mr. Wilcox?
292
00:15:51.220 --> 00:15:54.120
The floor in that closet. Gee, it's wonderful. In spite
293
00:15:54.159 --> 00:15:56.600
of all that junk piled in there, year after year,
294
00:15:56.620 --> 00:15:58.500
the floor's in wonderful condition.
295
00:16:00.100 --> 00:16:05.519
What did you protect it with? Boy, Axie, if I
296
00:16:05.580 --> 00:16:08.559
wasn't a truthful guy with whom loyalty to a sponsor
297
00:16:08.600 --> 00:16:12.279
was a prime consideration, I could break your little heart.
298
00:16:19.320 --> 00:16:22.320
Ah, but we have to tell the truth, Mr. Wilcox.
299
00:16:22.659 --> 00:16:24.080
Johnson's wax it is.
300
00:16:24.399 --> 00:16:28.299
I knew it, I knew it. Gee, I'd like to
301
00:16:28.360 --> 00:16:31.399
have a photograph of that closet floor. You throw moose
302
00:16:31.440 --> 00:16:34.490
heads in there, you toss in horseshoes and ice skates,
303
00:16:34.870 --> 00:16:37.570
you bang it with golf clubs and wet snow shovels,
304
00:16:37.909 --> 00:16:40.629
you heave in a lot of fishing tackle, shotguns and mandolins,
305
00:16:40.889 --> 00:16:41.470
and look at it.
306
00:16:41.889 --> 00:16:42.690
Hardly a scratch.
307
00:16:43.230 --> 00:16:46.210
What a perfect example of how Johnson's Wax protects and
308
00:16:46.269 --> 00:16:47.450
preserves a wood surface.
309
00:16:48.149 --> 00:16:53.509
Look at his eyes flash, Molly. I'll bet Balboa looked
310
00:16:53.529 --> 00:16:59.870
just like that when he discovered the Panama Canal.
311
00:17:00.149 --> 00:17:03.750
Ah, what a beautiful, beautiful floor. What luster. What a
312
00:17:03.830 --> 00:17:08.369
tactile delight to rub one's digits over such a luminescent patina.
313
00:17:08.670 --> 00:17:09.089
Ah, sure.
314
00:17:09.410 --> 00:17:09.470
Mm.
315
00:17:10.759 --> 00:17:12.279
What on earth is the man talking about?
316
00:17:12.299 --> 00:17:13.920
Is the guest room made up? Maybe he better lie
317
00:17:13.960 --> 00:17:15.799
down a little while. Do you feel okay, Junior? Oh,
318
00:17:15.839 --> 00:17:16.880
I feel marvelous, pal.
319
00:17:16.940 --> 00:17:19.859
Magnificent. What a day in my life to have everything
320
00:17:19.900 --> 00:17:23.200
I've ever said about Johnson's Wax so completely justified, so
321
00:17:23.299 --> 00:17:28.890
marvelously exemplified. Its qualities of beautification, preservation, protection. Oh, I've
322
00:17:28.930 --> 00:17:31.910
got to write to Racine about this. See you later, folks.
323
00:17:39.230 --> 00:17:40.049
Right where you seem.
324
00:17:40.089 --> 00:17:42.609
There goes the greatest ham actor since the Three Little Pigs.
325
00:17:43.849 --> 00:17:45.690
I thought he sounded very sincere, McGee.
326
00:17:45.710 --> 00:17:47.309
Oh, he meant it all right. It was one of
327
00:17:47.329 --> 00:17:51.269
those gestures that pulled my cork. Those rolling eyes. Clenched
328
00:17:51.309 --> 00:17:54.809
hand on the forehead. Like William S. Hart bidding farewell
329
00:17:54.849 --> 00:17:55.730
to his favorite horse.
330
00:17:56.230 --> 00:17:57.789
Well, never mind him, McGee.
331
00:17:57.829 --> 00:17:58.049
Mrs.
332
00:17:58.089 --> 00:18:00.470
Carstairs will be here very shortly. Better get this stuff
333
00:18:00.490 --> 00:18:00.789
put away.
334
00:18:00.849 --> 00:18:02.619
Okay, I'll have it all the way in two jerks. Now,
335
00:18:02.630 --> 00:18:06.000
let me see... Oh, gee, look what I found. My
336
00:18:06.059 --> 00:18:08.400
old camp stove. I'd like to have five bucks for
337
00:18:08.440 --> 00:18:10.190
every pound of bacon I've ruined on that thing.
338
00:18:11.349 --> 00:18:13.609
Speaking of stoves, dearie, I'd better see how Beulah's coming
339
00:18:13.630 --> 00:18:19.269
with the refreshments. Oh, Beulah! Beulah! Somebody bowl for Beulah?
340
00:18:27.740 --> 00:18:28.259
Yeah, Mrs.
341
00:18:28.299 --> 00:18:30.009
McGee was just wondering if you were all set for
342
00:18:30.029 --> 00:18:30.970
the tea clutch, Beulah.
343
00:18:31.369 --> 00:18:36.829
Yes, everything is 6'2, and even. Best china laid out,
344
00:18:36.950 --> 00:18:40.970
cake all frosted, silverware polished, and a napkin start like Mr.
345
00:18:41.049 --> 00:18:41.849
Hoover's collar.
346
00:18:43.210 --> 00:18:45.650
Well, we want to kind of spread it on for Mrs. Carstairs, Beulah.
347
00:18:46.109 --> 00:18:48.259
Send the lady fingers out for a manicure if necessary.
348
00:18:49.150 --> 00:18:50.880
And see that the seams are all straight on the
349
00:18:50.900 --> 00:18:55.559
tea bags. You just leave everything to Beulah, folks.
350
00:18:56.460 --> 00:18:59.910
Everything's going to be done with finesse, eclair, and savoufaire.
351
00:19:02.039 --> 00:19:05.380
Genesee Pound? Genesee what?
352
00:19:05.420 --> 00:19:08.279
Genesee power, ma'am. That's a French expression meaning, you think
353
00:19:08.359 --> 00:19:13.640
I'm kidding? Do you speak French, Beulah?
354
00:19:13.740 --> 00:19:15.730
Well, just enough to get by with folks that don't.
355
00:19:15.569 --> 00:19:16.589
Speak it at all, sir.
356
00:19:16.680 --> 00:19:21.250
I tried to learn it once by photograph records, but
357
00:19:21.269 --> 00:19:23.529
there was a bad rattle in the speaker, so I
358
00:19:23.569 --> 00:19:26.430
never know if my accent is wrong vocally or mechanically.
359
00:19:27.210 --> 00:19:27.730
Mr.
360
00:19:27.789 --> 00:19:30.269
McGee tried to learn Spanish that way once, Beulah.
361
00:19:30.410 --> 00:19:32.089
You have any luck with it, sir? Nope, I took
362
00:19:32.150 --> 00:19:34.549
five lessons, then tried to order dinner in a Spanish restaurant.
363
00:19:35.089 --> 00:19:37.380
The hat-checked girl slapped me, the waiter gave me an apron,
364
00:19:37.400 --> 00:19:39.380
and the cashier handed over all her dough and called
365
00:19:39.400 --> 00:19:44.059
the cops. I guess I'm strictly a Latin from Peoria.
366
00:19:44.079 --> 00:19:46.720
Get his face, down the way to him.
367
00:19:46.740 --> 00:19:47.789
A Latin from Peoria.
368
00:19:47.880 --> 00:19:48.480
I love that man.
369
00:20:02.190 --> 00:20:05.470
The King's Man and the Fireman's Bride.
370
00:20:05.490 --> 00:20:10.259
Fireman goes a-gee, who married in June, wants to be free.
371
00:20:10.670 --> 00:20:15.119
He bought a handsome love nest, but his hard-lying.
372
00:20:14.480 --> 00:20:18.900
Spouse likes a firehouse. She wears a crimson skirt, a
373
00:20:18.980 --> 00:20:21.579
fireman's hat, a red flannel shirt.
374
00:20:21.619 --> 00:20:22.609
Whee!
375
00:20:22.700 --> 00:20:25.470
Bang goes the bell and she's off, boys, in a
376
00:20:25.529 --> 00:20:27.230
cloud of confusion and dirt.
377
00:20:27.750 --> 00:20:27.890
Whee!
378
00:20:28.849 --> 00:20:29.759
Wait a minute, boys.
379
00:20:29.799 --> 00:20:31.160
They're going to run in the hole.
380
00:20:31.180 --> 00:20:31.839
Well, hurry up.
381
00:20:31.849 --> 00:20:32.230
Woo-hoo!
382
00:20:39.910 --> 00:20:44.160
The fireman's bride, the fireman's bride won't stay.
383
00:20:43.880 --> 00:20:45.680
Home by her fireside.
384
00:20:46.119 --> 00:20:50.900
On all accounts, she'd rather bounce in a fireman's nest.
385
00:20:51.460 --> 00:20:54.529
She leaps to the engine and clings to the hose.
386
00:20:54.589 --> 00:20:58.450
How she hangs on, nobody knows. Out comes the net
387
00:20:58.529 --> 00:21:01.490
and then over she goes. High up they throw her
388
00:21:01.549 --> 00:21:07.000
while she hollers, Lord! The fireman's bride, people confide, has.
389
00:21:06.619 --> 00:21:08.900
The fireman goggle-eyed.
390
00:21:09.019 --> 00:21:14.140
High as a kite, ain't she a sight, naughty fireman's bride.
391
00:21:14.259 --> 00:21:14.329
Oh.
392
00:21:19.369 --> 00:21:20.230
Yippee! More!
393
00:21:42.420 --> 00:21:48.049
The fireman cries, people confide, as the fireman goggle eyes.
394
00:21:48.170 --> 00:21:51.190
High as a kite, ain't they a sight.
395
00:21:51.269 --> 00:21:57.180
Roaring around all over town with the fireman's cry.
396
00:22:09.680 --> 00:22:11.700
McGee, I just looked into the hall closet and I
397
00:22:11.740 --> 00:22:13.819
want to congratulate you. I think it looks wonderful.
398
00:22:13.839 --> 00:22:16.289
Oh, it's nothing that any red-blooded American boy couldn't have done.
399
00:22:16.569 --> 00:22:18.950
His wife kept hollering at him about it. Hey, how
400
00:22:18.970 --> 00:22:19.670
does this shirt look?
401
00:22:19.970 --> 00:22:21.349
Very nice when you put a tie on.
402
00:22:21.369 --> 00:22:21.990
A tie?
403
00:22:22.029 --> 00:22:24.109
This is a sports shirt. Didn't you see that picture
404
00:22:24.130 --> 00:22:26.150
of Jack Carson in last night's paper? He was wearing
405
00:22:26.170 --> 00:22:27.230
a shirt exactly like this one.
406
00:22:27.789 --> 00:22:32.170
Jack Carson is a comedian. You're more the Herbert Marshall type.
407
00:22:35.150 --> 00:22:36.349
My, George, I think I am at that.
408
00:22:36.369 --> 00:22:36.589
You are?
409
00:22:36.769 --> 00:22:36.930
Yeah.
410
00:22:37.789 --> 00:22:39.569
Does Herbert Marshall wear a bow or a born hand?
411
00:22:39.589 --> 00:22:41.930
Because I want to... Oh, I'll bet that's her. Too
412
00:22:41.950 --> 00:22:44.049
late for a necktie. If you can casually drop Jack
413
00:22:44.069 --> 00:22:46.210
Carson into the conversation, I'll explain about the sports shirt.
414
00:22:46.269 --> 00:22:48.890
Just forget it, dearie. Let her take you as you are.
415
00:22:48.930 --> 00:22:49.700
Come in.
416
00:22:50.299 --> 00:22:51.380
Oh, how do you do, Mrs.
417
00:22:51.420 --> 00:22:51.960
Carstairs?
418
00:22:52.000 --> 00:22:54.779
Do come in. How do you do, my dear? So
419
00:22:54.839 --> 00:22:56.220
nice of you to have me for tea.
420
00:22:56.460 --> 00:22:58.279
Hiya, Carstie. Wiggle out of the mink and toss the
421
00:22:58.299 --> 00:22:59.420
weary frame on an orange crate.
422
00:23:02.660 --> 00:23:03.460
Good day, Mr.
423
00:23:03.500 --> 00:23:03.839
McGee.
424
00:23:04.460 --> 00:23:06.569
Am I to construe that bit of jargon as an
425
00:23:06.609 --> 00:23:07.880
invitation to be seated?
426
00:23:07.900 --> 00:23:11.829
You ain't whistling Dixie, babe. Try this chair over here.
427
00:23:12.210 --> 00:23:13.869
You can sink down in that like a sow in
428
00:23:13.910 --> 00:23:14.309
a swamp.
429
00:23:20.890 --> 00:23:22.769
Here, let me take your coat, Mrs.
430
00:23:22.809 --> 00:23:23.250
Carstairs.
431
00:23:23.309 --> 00:23:24.849
I'll hang it right here in the hall closet.
432
00:23:24.869 --> 00:23:27.259
Hey, look out. Don't open that. That's a... Oh, yeah,
433
00:23:27.299 --> 00:23:30.579
I forgot. That's okay. My gosh, I'm not used to
434
00:23:30.619 --> 00:23:33.839
this yet. Go ahead, open it.
435
00:23:33.900 --> 00:23:34.720
He's joking, Mrs.
436
00:23:34.779 --> 00:23:35.400
Carsten.
437
00:23:35.660 --> 00:23:37.980
He's always kidding me about this hall closet being too
438
00:23:38.019 --> 00:23:38.759
full of everything.
439
00:23:38.779 --> 00:23:45.380
I'm sure it looks very neat, my dear. You are
440
00:23:45.440 --> 00:23:47.059
evidently an excellent housekeeper.
441
00:23:47.079 --> 00:23:49.089
Oh, I sometimes think I'm almost too fussy.
442
00:23:49.109 --> 00:23:50.460
I sometimes think so, too, myself.
443
00:23:52.049 --> 00:23:53.970
Oh, well, it was so nice of you to come over, Mrs.
444
00:23:54.009 --> 00:23:54.569
Carstier.
445
00:23:54.710 --> 00:23:56.950
I have been looking forward to it, my dear. I
446
00:23:57.009 --> 00:24:00.269
think afternoon tea is such a pleasant custom. The English
447
00:24:00.309 --> 00:24:01.430
do those things so well.
448
00:24:01.450 --> 00:24:01.769
You know.
449
00:24:01.890 --> 00:24:04.410
Yeah, but I bet it gets monotonous day after day, Carstie.
450
00:24:04.470 --> 00:24:05.890
Three or four weeks of it and I'd run out
451
00:24:05.910 --> 00:24:06.670
of small talk.
452
00:24:08.289 --> 00:24:09.970
Oh, I rather doubt that, Mr.
453
00:24:09.990 --> 00:24:10.349
McGee.
454
00:24:11.049 --> 00:24:13.579
The longer I know you, the smaller your talk seems
455
00:24:13.599 --> 00:24:13.859
to get.
456
00:24:17.339 --> 00:24:19.099
Ah, you're not saying that just because you admire me,
457
00:24:19.180 --> 00:24:20.880
are you, Carstein?
458
00:24:21.119 --> 00:24:23.660
I rather doubt that my statement was motivated by any
459
00:24:23.700 --> 00:24:24.930
such consideration, Mr.
460
00:24:24.970 --> 00:24:27.670
McGee. Well, you're not a bad kid yourself. Have a cigarette?
461
00:24:28.589 --> 00:24:28.930
Thank you.
462
00:24:28.990 --> 00:24:30.470
I don't smoke. Neither do I, Mrs.
463
00:24:30.490 --> 00:24:30.890
Carstein.
464
00:24:30.910 --> 00:24:32.640
Well, that needn't stop you kids from picking up a
465
00:24:32.650 --> 00:24:34.259
few packages for the old man now, then.
466
00:24:36.619 --> 00:24:38.759
Uh, are you quite sure we're not keeping.
467
00:24:38.500 --> 00:24:41.200
You from some important masculine affairs, Mr. McGee?
468
00:24:41.420 --> 00:24:44.869
No, no, I got nothing particular to do, Carstie. Hmm.
469
00:24:46.349 --> 00:24:49.029
This is such a charming little living room of yours, Mrs.
470
00:24:49.069 --> 00:24:51.910
McGee. And may I say that that is an extremely
471
00:24:51.970 --> 00:24:52.970
handsome piano you have.
472
00:24:52.990 --> 00:24:55.569
Well, thank you. I think very highly of that piano.
473
00:24:55.589 --> 00:24:58.170
Yeah, I gave her that piano for Christmas, eight years ago, Carstie.
474
00:24:58.670 --> 00:25:00.599
I just happened to be walking through the Bondtown department
475
00:25:00.619 --> 00:25:03.160
store one day, see? Thinking about nothing in particular.
476
00:25:03.180 --> 00:25:03.779
Naturally.
477
00:25:05.299 --> 00:25:07.089
And I seen this pen and I says to myself,
478
00:25:07.130 --> 00:25:07.569
there's the.
479
00:25:07.670 --> 00:25:08.890
Excuse me a minute, Mrs.
480
00:25:08.910 --> 00:25:09.430
Carstairs.
481
00:25:09.700 --> 00:25:10.099
Come in.
482
00:25:11.349 --> 00:25:14.289
Hello, Mrs. McGee. Hi, Mr. McGee. Hi, Jimmy, my boy.
483
00:25:14.349 --> 00:25:17.250
Here's your check. It's all made out. Two bucks, 40 cents. Oh,
484
00:25:17.289 --> 00:25:18.750
thanks a lot. Here's the receipt.
485
00:25:18.769 --> 00:25:20.170
How are the wife and family, Jimmy?
486
00:25:20.359 --> 00:25:23.720
Just swell, thanks. My little girl was eight years old yesterday.
487
00:25:23.940 --> 00:25:26.359
Gee whiz. The time sure flies, don't it, kid?
488
00:25:26.480 --> 00:25:26.859
Yeah.
489
00:25:27.160 --> 00:25:29.519
You know, she was born just a few months after
490
00:25:29.539 --> 00:25:30.400
you bought that piano.
491
00:25:30.500 --> 00:25:32.700
Yes, yes. She must have been if she's eight years
492
00:25:32.759 --> 00:25:33.279
old now.
493
00:25:33.859 --> 00:25:35.880
You're going to have that thing paid for before you
494
00:25:35.920 --> 00:25:40.980
know it. Well, thanks a lot, folks. See you next week.
495
00:25:43.099 --> 00:25:47.710
Now then... What were we talking about, Mrs. Carstairs? You
496
00:25:47.750 --> 00:25:48.849
were saying that Mr.
497
00:25:48.890 --> 00:25:51.250
McGee gave you this piano as a Christmas gift eight
498
00:25:51.289 --> 00:25:51.839
years ago.
499
00:25:51.890 --> 00:25:52.240
Yeah.
500
00:25:52.539 --> 00:25:54.240
It was so thoughtful of him to make it a
501
00:25:54.299 --> 00:25:55.279
weekly remembrance.
502
00:25:58.589 --> 00:26:00.509
My dear, I would like to see the rest of
503
00:26:00.549 --> 00:26:01.059
your house.
504
00:26:01.119 --> 00:26:03.039
Why, sure, Carsey. Come right along. It may not be
505
00:26:03.079 --> 00:26:03.940
a palace, but it's home.
506
00:26:04.039 --> 00:26:05.920
Yes, do come and see it, Mrs. Carsey.
507
00:26:06.000 --> 00:26:06.559
Oh, thank you.
508
00:26:07.019 --> 00:26:08.509
This is the dining room in here.
509
00:26:08.529 --> 00:26:12.559
Yeah, you can tell that by the table. This table
510
00:26:12.579 --> 00:26:14.940
seats 12 people when we put the extra leaves in, Carstie.
511
00:26:15.619 --> 00:26:17.140
The only thing is we haven't got any extra leaves.
512
00:26:18.289 --> 00:26:21.529
I used them to make some shelves in the garage.
513
00:26:21.609 --> 00:26:22.410
Interesting.
514
00:26:22.990 --> 00:26:25.950
Personally, I think large parties are such a bore.
515
00:26:26.410 --> 00:26:28.230
Oh, you're just self-conscious, Carstie.
516
00:26:28.630 --> 00:26:31.130
And right through here is the kitchen, Mrs.
517
00:26:31.150 --> 00:26:31.769
Carstie.
518
00:26:32.470 --> 00:26:33.769
Come you want, ma'am?
519
00:26:34.029 --> 00:26:38.589
No, thanks, Beulah. Just giving Carstie the 40-cent tour. Good afternoon, Beulah.
520
00:26:38.730 --> 00:26:44.059
Oh, good afternoon, Mrs. Costell. You can take the tea
521
00:26:44.079 --> 00:26:45.420
things in any time, Beulah.
522
00:26:45.519 --> 00:26:46.359
Coming right up, ma'am.
523
00:26:46.799 --> 00:26:48.319
What a cozy little kitchen, Mrs.
524
00:26:48.359 --> 00:26:49.579
McGee. So convenient.
525
00:26:49.599 --> 00:26:51.859
Oh, it's a pip for a small family like us, Garstie.
526
00:26:52.480 --> 00:26:54.759
You can build yourself a five-decker salami sandwich and open
527
00:26:54.779 --> 00:26:56.640
a bottle of beer in here without walking five acres.
528
00:26:57.579 --> 00:26:58.140
Really?
529
00:26:58.680 --> 00:27:01.680
And that, I suppose, is the service box through that door, Mrs.
530
00:27:01.740 --> 00:27:02.019
McGee.
531
00:27:02.039 --> 00:27:02.480
This door?
532
00:27:02.500 --> 00:27:05.339
No, this is just the back stairs, Mrs. Garster. Hey,
533
00:27:05.380 --> 00:27:06.420
don't open that.
534
00:27:06.619 --> 00:27:08.680
That's where I put all the... Out of the car!
535
00:27:26.750 --> 00:27:28.539
She is serving the drawing room, ma'am.
536
00:27:38.940 --> 00:27:40.819
Why is it that some homes seem to have so
537
00:27:40.839 --> 00:27:43.430
much more charm than others? Is it because of more
538
00:27:43.470 --> 00:27:46.589
expensive furnishings? Well, not as a rule. It's a matter
539
00:27:46.609 --> 00:27:49.730
of good taste and good housekeeping, in which richly polished
540
00:27:49.769 --> 00:27:53.279
floors and other surfaces play a very important part. Floors
541
00:27:53.299 --> 00:27:56.079
that are regularly waxed with Johnson's wax become more and
542
00:27:56.119 --> 00:27:58.809
more beautiful. They set off your furnishings to best advantage.
543
00:27:59.450 --> 00:28:01.569
There are many other uses for Johnson's Wax in a
544
00:28:01.569 --> 00:28:06.170
well-groomed home. Picture frames, ornaments, windowsills, even the fireplace and
545
00:28:06.190 --> 00:28:09.259
the andirons. And, of course, you know that the tough
546
00:28:09.299 --> 00:28:12.539
film of wax protects all of these surfaces from wear, dirt,
547
00:28:12.680 --> 00:28:16.140
and moisture. Also, that it saves you hours of housekeeping
548
00:28:16.180 --> 00:28:19.079
work because waxed surfaces are so easy to keep clean.
549
00:28:19.880 --> 00:28:24.779
Careful housekeepers call this protective housekeeping with genuine Johnson's wax,
550
00:28:25.099 --> 00:28:28.380
which comes in three forms, paste, liquid, and the new
551
00:28:28.440 --> 00:28:31.769
cream wax, especially developed for use on furniture and woodwork.
552
00:28:37.670 --> 00:28:39.730
How long did Carstairs stay after I left, Molly?
553
00:28:39.809 --> 00:28:43.940
Oh, about three cups and six crumpets. But what made
554
00:28:43.960 --> 00:28:45.140
you leave in such a hurry?
555
00:28:45.289 --> 00:28:48.529
Look, Mommy, when a woman like Carsty takes my own
556
00:28:48.569 --> 00:28:50.789
mandolin back in the living room and starts playing tea
557
00:28:50.809 --> 00:28:53.250
for two on it, I can take a hint. I
558
00:28:53.269 --> 00:28:54.650
don't have to be hit with a brick bat.
559
00:28:54.950 --> 00:28:58.369
No, although I'll admit the idea crossed my mind. Huh?
560
00:28:58.789 --> 00:28:59.930
Oh, good night.
561
00:29:00.049 --> 00:29:00.619
Good night, all.
562
00:29:06.450 --> 00:29:08.670
This is Marlo Wilcox speaking for the makers of Johnson
563
00:29:08.690 --> 00:29:11.430
& Wax, 224 Hold and Industry, inviting you all to
564
00:29:11.450 --> 00:29:13.180
be with us again next Tuesday night.
565
00:29:13.299 --> 00:29:16.619
Good night. This is the National Broadcasting.
566
00:29:18.359 --> 00:29:21.900
Company.
567
00:29:22.980 --> 00:29:25.559
That was Fibber McGee and Molly, Clean Closet.
568
00:29:25.680 --> 00:29:25.980
Mrs.
569
00:29:26.039 --> 00:29:29.240
Carstairs is coming. Good night and keep the dial tuned
570
00:29:29.279 --> 00:29:30.640
for more radio comedy.
