Bevy Smith: "It Gets Greater Later"

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Imagine this. You have a six-figure salary. but you're miserable
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at work, what would you do? Well, if you're Bevy Smith,
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you would risk it all. She gave it up, all
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of it, the riches, all of the perks. For years,
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she wondered if she had made the right choice. Well,
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it turned out she did. It's Bevy, baby. You may
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know her as Bevy Smith, the host of Bravo's Fashion
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Queens or her podcast, Bevelations. But if you don't know
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the media maven, allow me to introduce you. Bevy Smith
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is a brand. She's a Harlem-born powerhouse who rose to
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the heights of the fashion industry by her 30s. But
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at age 38, she decided to follow a new path.
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Since then, Bevy's been a TV host, an author, an actress,
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an entrepreneur. And at 55, she says she's far from done.
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Bevy is a master negotiator, a firm believer in her
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own worth, and living proof that it gets greater later.
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I caught up with Bevy in Vancouver where she just recorded.
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A TED Talk.
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We talked about chasing her passion, her love of negotiating,
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and how on her search for Mr. Right, she found herself.
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I think you're really going to love this one. I
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know I did. I'm Hoda Kotb. Welcome to my podcast,
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Making Space. Bevy.
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My Holder. Holder, you know you're my, like, you're like
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my goals. I'm so proud of you.
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Oh.
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Oh, my God. No, wait, Miss Ted Talk. You got
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to leave some crumbs for others, okay? You know what?
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Every time I sit with you, I feel a different
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kind of way. But on this particular day when I
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sit with you, you are 55 years old. You live
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your life on your terms. And you described yourself as
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a late bloomer. Why are you a late bloomer, first
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of all?
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Well, I mean, because I think really since like my 20s,
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people have been telling me that I should be in entertainment.
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But I was always an advertising person. I was, you know,
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started out as a receptionist and worked my way up
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to becoming an advertising executive. And so, you know, entertainment
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was something that I couldn't really even fathom for myself.
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And so to then pursue it at the age of
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38 and then to really make it happen. And by
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the time I really kind of garnered any kind of
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success in the space, I was like 45 years old.
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I'd say that's a pretty late blooming.
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I want to back us up. I picture you as
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a little girl and I don't really know exactly in
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this moment how I pictured you like in first grade
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or second grade. Were you the kid who sat in
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the front of the class? Were you the kid who
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sat in the back of the class and cut up?
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Were you the rule follower? Who were you? Front of
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the class and definitely a rule follower. To this day,
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I love rules. So how did that come to you?
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Was your mom strict? Did she say, it's my way
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or the highway? My parents were not strict at all.
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They were older parents. Back then it was older. Now
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this is it's very normal to have children in your
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late 30s and things. But in 1966, when I was born,
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my mom was 38, my dad was 42.
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That was really very unorthodox. And so my dad especially
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was very happy to have us. My mom already had
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one child, my big brother Jerry. But my dad was
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elated to finally have children and to have his girls.
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And so I feel like they weren't lenient But they
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definitely wanted us to explore and they wanted us to
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have a very healthy self-esteem.
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Okay. All right. So you were a kid. Were you
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involved in drama, in sports? Did you have a lot
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of friends?
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I was bullied as a kid once I got into
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junior high school. And that was the first time I
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ever changed my life. So... I get into junior high school,
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I'm 12 years old. And I had been like, you know,
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like popular in grade school, but you know, in grade school,
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you're not really popular. It's like everyone's friends.
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Yeah.
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And then you get into junior high and that's when
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the like clicks start. And so I was able to
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study because I've always been strategic. So I was able
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to study the click that was the most popular click.
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And I, I understood the formula to be a part
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of the popular club. And so then I just applied
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that formula to myself. And then I also was able
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to get into that clique. But when I got in there,
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I was one, I was really low on the ranking.
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So I just wound up becoming a handmaiden to the
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queen bees of the club. And also, I didn't like
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that they were mean. I didn't like that they bullied people.
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And I was like, well, I'm never going to do that.
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And then I decided to not go to the same
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high school that they did. And that was a game changer.
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You said you were bullied. How? Oh, just like, you know,
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now it doesn't sound so horrible. But, you know, first
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day of junior high school, I'm like, my mom loved
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buying us well-made shoes. And this is like in the 70s.
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So a lot of kids were wearing like, little tiny
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like soul train shoes, like platforms and, you know, and
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jazzy colors. And we were wearing striped, right? You know,
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sensible little shoes. And the girl walks up with the
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click and says, oh, I like your shoes, girl. And
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I'm like, oh my God, thank you. And she's like,
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that B word really thinks we like her shoes. And
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I was devastated. And I ran and I told my
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big sister, Stephanie, and she said, don't you worry about it.
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I'm going to make sure that our parents buy us
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like cool shoes.
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How did you take, because I remember being in seventh grade,
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I remember having a similar feeling and I remember sitting
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in the front of the bus and hearing kids taunt
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me and willing the bus to To get to school.
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Just get me off this bus.
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Yeah.
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Because there's nothing worse than like the feel, that hot
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rush that comes over your face when you know that
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you're the subject of ridicule.
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Yeah.
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And I just wanted it over. I wanted junior high over.
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Yeah.
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And you start building up defenses. You know, what were yours?
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Well, when I got to high school, I put away
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the handmaiden, Bevy, and I became MC Bevski. So it
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was the beginning of like hip hop really becoming really big.
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And everyone was an MC. And everyone's MC name had
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Ski on the end. So I was MC Bev Ski.
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And my specialty was freestyle rapping in the bathroom. I
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was really good at that. I was really quick and
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I could like look at something and rap about it.
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I've lost those skills. I might try and pick them
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back up. But that was like, that was my first
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kind of foray into changing my life and to taking
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control of my narrative.
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So owning it kind of.
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Owning it.
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So when you were that girl, how did you imagine
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yourself growing up?
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I definitely, I grew up in a tenement. So I
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definitely wanted to live in a high rise in Manhattan,
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of course. And I wanted to be an executive secretary
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because I grew up watching all those old 1950s, 1960s
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movies where being an executive secretary was the height of elegance, sophistication,
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and success. because you were the gatekeeper. And actually, Holder,
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as you know, to a certain extent, that's still very
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true now.
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That's still the case.
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Yeah, absolutely. They make a lot of money. They're the
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keepers of the keys and everyone has to like bow
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down to them, right?
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Yeah.
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It's the best job on earth. You said you grew
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up in a tenement. Describe what that means for you.
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Oh, so in New York City, there's, you know, there
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are high-rise apartments. There's high-rise project buildings. There's ground stones.
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And then there's older buildings that were probably built probably
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in like the 1930s and their walk-ups and they have
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fire escapes. So that's what you traditionally would call a tenement.
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So we lived on the fifth floor, which is why
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I have very strong legs to this day. And so
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we had to walk up five flights of stairs to
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with groceries, laundry, whatever it was.
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That was the way life rolled. Okay. So you were
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looking for your profession in life, what to pursue.
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So what road did you take? I became a receptionist.
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I didn't go directly to college. I became a receptionist
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at an advertising agency called Peter Rogers and Associates. And
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it was an incredible agency. They had Black Llama Mink,
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they had Vidal Sassoon. Like I said, Vidal Sassoon would
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come into the office. Claudette Colbert would come into the office.
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Cher came into the office. It was heady stuff. Were
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you freaking out? Were you drop jaw? No, because I
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was a young, sophisticated Manhattan girl. So my father always
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brought lots of magazines into the home and me and
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my sister would just But just ferocious readers. And so
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I knew all these people. I knew all the socialites
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because we used to read W Magazine when it was
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a broadsheet. I started reading the New York Times when
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I was like 13. So, you know, it's a very
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interesting thing when you grow up in Manhattan. Because I
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grew up in Harlem. And for your listeners who may
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not know, Harlem is a part of Manhattan. So for me,
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my parents always took us into Manhattan proper, if you will.
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And so I was never kind of, you would always
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see famous people to this day, as you know, Holden.
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Folks see you all the time. And it's like, hey, girl.
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And that's the way it is, you know?
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I one time walked behind Jerry Seinfeld for six blocks,
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just trying to figure out like, what would it feel
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like to be him?
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Right.
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And you're right. People hardly even looked up. I was so,
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or every now and then a hey.
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Yes.
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But that's how Manhattan folks do it.
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Yes.
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That's how we do it. And so when I got there,
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I mean, my parents instilled this really strong work ethic
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in us, which is no matter what your job is,
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no matter how allegedly low it is, you do your
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absolute best. You don't wait to get a great opportunity.
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Every opportunity that you're given is a good one and
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you make the most of it.
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So you did that. So you were a receptionist and
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you did it A + +.
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Oh yeah, I did A + +. So I didn't
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have to take coats. I didn't have to get coffee,
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but I did all of that because in my life,
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I am nothing but a hostess. I am actually a barmaid.
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And eventually, hold on, I won't own a bar because
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I love hosting people in that way. But in my life,
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that's one of my special gifts. I connect people and
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I make people feel welcome. And so when you came
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into my reception area, You were in my living room. Welcome.
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May I take your coat? Would you like coffee or tea? Again,
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this was not required of me.
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You just did it.
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I just did it because I wanted you to be
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comfortable in my space.
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Wow.
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Yeah.
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That's awesome, by the way. That's great in every profession
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and every single job.
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Yeah.
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We try to do that at the Today Show when
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someone walks in. It's like you're home now. That's really, okay.
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So you're doing this job and you do it to
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the end, like your folks said, but that obviously that
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was not your goal. So how'd you get a break?
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I had these amazing mentors at that agency and they
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said that I did not belong up there. I belonged
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in the back with them learning a skill. And that's
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when my life began to change. And I went back
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to school and I went to NYU and One of
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my mentors, Jeff McKay, started his own advertising agency and
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he brought me along and he literally said, what part
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of advertising would you like to work in? And I said,
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I think account services and media directing, because I love
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to read. And so when you're a media director, you
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get all the magazines in the world. But I also
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knew I was good, but people saw account services as well.
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And he's like, okay.
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Coming up more on Bevy's big break. And does she
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feel like there's still a piece missing? Stay with us.
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Did you ever, because I've been talking about this with
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all these women I'm interviewing, and almost everyone, including Helen Mirren,
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Viola Davis, Rita Moreno, they all say that at a
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bunch of points in their careers, they had imposter syndrome.
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They don't know I don't know. They don't realize I
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don't deserve this. I'm pretending. Deep down, not feeling that worth.
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Did you ever have that? Okay, so here's the reason
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why I didn't have it.
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Holder.
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You did not. This is big. You did not have it. Okay, good.
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I'm going to tell you the truth, Holder, okay? Because
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very early on, I thought the key to my happiness
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was getting married and getting someone to take care of me.
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So I went to NYU and I had a career
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specifically with the reason of trying to secure an amazing husband.
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Okay.
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Because I watched all those old 1950s, 1960s films, and
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I realized that if you have a certain pedigree, then
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you can attract a certain type of man. So me
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being an advertising executive, me going to NYU is a
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nice little patina there, right? And I can secure this guy,
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and then I don't have to work anymore, and this
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guy's got to make me happy. So I didn't have
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imposter syndrome because I wasn't there for the long haul.
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I wanted to do a good job at my career,
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but I was not driven. I was not driven.
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Now, that's interesting that you had that idea of wanting
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to secure a man. Because to me, we're from the
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same generation. That actually seems like a little bit before us.
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Yes. Doesn't it? Yes, it does. But I told you,
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it was all those movies I watched.
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Yeah, you were into that.
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I loved Bewitched, the Dick Van Dyke show.
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Yeah, Dick Van Dyke, yeah.
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You know, when he would come home and she was
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wearing her little pillow pushers, I was like, I want
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to wear a pillow pusher and wait for him to
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come home, honey, from the architectural firm or wherever he
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was working. You know, I wanted those things. And you
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also have to remember something, too, Holden. I come from
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a community where women worked. Women were not fighting to
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work in Harlem. They worked, okay? You were fighting not
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to work, okay? That was a good life. You don't
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have to work and you can live nice. You see
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what I mean? So there's the difference.
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I hear you.
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100.
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I hear you 100. Okay. So there you were, advertising exec.
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I mean, how high, that's called, at one point it
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was the high life. How high was the life? It
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was the very high life.
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It was amazing. That's when media, when print media was.
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And, you know, we actually we worked on the New
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York Times, Fashion of the Times and like going to
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all those parties. We we worked with Tina Brown at
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Vanity Fair. So I was at all those events and like,
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you know, I knew all the people. And I'm from
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150th Street and 8th Avenue in Harlem. And I'm like
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just in these rooms and I'm like, you know. I'm
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in the mix.
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So you're in it.
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It was fabulous.
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So there you are. I mean, someone called that the mountaintop.
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You know, plant the flag. You're done.
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Yeah, yeah.
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But that wasn't the case for you.
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That wasn't the case. I got really very restless. I
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was very grateful for the opportunities that I had been afforded.
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And then I was feeling very like, is this all
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there is?
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Yeah, what was missing?
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I think the creativity of it all. I think there was...
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a level of creativity that I was seeking. And it's
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so interesting that I didn't want to own it. I
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think that this is what I went through. You talk
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about imposter syndrome and I don't think I had that
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as much. I had the other thing, which is I
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wanted to be a creative, but because I worked with
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creatives so much, I had so much respect for them.
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And so I didn't feel like I could segue into creativity.
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I felt very strong and solid in my business acumen
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and strategy and numbers, but the creativity part to become
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a writer, to deal in art and all this different
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kind of stuff, I suppressed that because I knew there
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was something inkling, a little thing in me. And that's
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why I kept trying to edge closer to creativity, but
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still have it be business. And that brought me to
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becoming the fashion advertising director at Vibe. And that was
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like a really great crossroads for me. Well, Vibe was incredible.
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It brought you to Rolling Stone. I mean, now where
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00:19:01.009 --> 00:19:02.849
was the man? That was what you were looking for.
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00:19:02.930 --> 00:19:06.990
What was happening there? So I was engaged like 2.5 times.
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00:19:11.009 --> 00:19:13.190
And the last guy that I thought I was going
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to marry, I was 33 years old. And when that
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didn't work out, after I had kind of, twisted myself
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and contorted myself, my being to be with him, I
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decided to do some real, you know, kind of introspective
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work on myself. And that's when the seeds of changing
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my life really got planted. And that's when I realized
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I was going to have to make myself happy. And
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that was a devastating thing to learn because up until then,
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I was really banking on the guy to come along
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and make it all happen.
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It sounded like your imposter syndrome was in the relationships
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early on. Like you were trying to be someone you weren't.
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You were trying to be the puzzle piece that fit
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him as opposed to who you were. And I guess what,
377
00:19:58.180 --> 00:20:00.539
you just couldn't contain that. You tried and tried, but
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00:20:00.559 --> 00:20:01.940
you had to be who you were.
379
00:20:01.960 --> 00:20:05.970
I remember telling him, and he worked in music. And
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00:20:06.029 --> 00:20:09.009
so he had a sexy career. I had a sexy career.
381
00:20:09.029 --> 00:20:11.539
You know, music and fashion, how great is that? We
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00:20:11.559 --> 00:20:14.019
would each kind of trade off with like the perks
383
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of our gigs. It was fabulous. And I remember telling
384
00:20:18.000 --> 00:20:21.180
him that when we got married, I didn't want to work.
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And he was like, well, what are you talking about?
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I was like, no, we'll get married and I'll have
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like two kids, but I can't work. And he's like, well,
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00:20:30.009 --> 00:20:32.569
that's ridiculous. And I was like, no, it's not. I said,
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00:20:32.650 --> 00:20:35.119
you know, I just want to raise, like, you know,
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I just want to be in the home. I didn't
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really actually want to raise children. I just didn't want
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to work. I said, I want to be in the home.
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And he told me, for the lifestyle that we want,
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we need two incomes. That's not going to work. He
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was very forthright.
396
00:20:51.849 --> 00:20:52.109
Wow.
397
00:20:52.230 --> 00:20:52.849
And what'd you say?
398
00:20:53.130 --> 00:20:55.769
I was devastated. And then I was like, a man
399
00:20:55.809 --> 00:20:57.690
can tell you the truth, but you will hear what
400
00:20:57.730 --> 00:20:59.470
you want to hear. So I was like, oh, I'll
401
00:20:59.490 --> 00:21:02.569
convince him different. You know, I'll change his mind. And
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00:21:02.769 --> 00:21:06.029
good for him. He knew what he wanted. He wanted
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00:21:06.549 --> 00:21:08.859
someone to be a partner. And I was not looking
404
00:21:08.890 --> 00:21:12.240
to be a partner. I was looking to be a dependent.
405
00:21:12.519 --> 00:21:16.259
Ah, boy, that's beautifully put. So you did internal work.
406
00:21:16.779 --> 00:21:21.160
What was revealed to you as you were doing this?
407
00:21:23.119 --> 00:21:30.369
That I was far more strong and savvy and capable
408
00:21:30.789 --> 00:21:35.269
than I had ever realized. Because I was doing this
409
00:21:35.329 --> 00:21:39.170
career stuff, but without giving it much thought. So I
410
00:21:39.230 --> 00:21:41.849
was good at it. And so it was just kind
411
00:21:41.890 --> 00:21:44.589
of like, yeah, I can do that. Sure. Oh, you
412
00:21:44.609 --> 00:21:45.890
want me for that?
413
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Okay.
414
00:21:47.130 --> 00:21:49.599
And then when I had to realize that I had
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to make myself happy, I had to actually apply myself.
416
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And when I applied myself, I was.
417
00:21:54.180 --> 00:21:54.380
Like, okay.
418
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Look at you. Wow. You've been selling yourself short.
419
00:22:01.859 --> 00:22:04.299
Wow. And that means knowing your worth. Did you always
420
00:22:04.319 --> 00:22:06.369
get paid what you deserved to get paid?
421
00:22:07.089 --> 00:22:10.410
My mentor was an amazingly generous man. And so that
422
00:22:10.450 --> 00:22:13.309
set the tone, right? So when I leave the advertising
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00:22:13.390 --> 00:22:15.410
agency and I go to Vibe, I have a very
424
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specific idea of what I'm supposed to be making.
425
00:22:17.869 --> 00:22:19.849
And you were not afraid to ask for that?
426
00:22:20.630 --> 00:22:24.400
You know, a big part of my job was to negotiate. Money.
427
00:22:24.519 --> 00:22:26.859
I love to negotiate. To this day, I don't like
428
00:22:26.900 --> 00:22:29.940
for my agents and managers, I'm always like, well, did
429
00:22:29.980 --> 00:22:33.359
you ask for this? And what about how can we
430
00:22:33.420 --> 00:22:36.059
do it this way? Like if I can't get the money,
431
00:22:36.420 --> 00:22:38.349
then give me the time and then give me the
432
00:22:38.369 --> 00:22:39.710
back end. Like I love all that.
433
00:22:39.730 --> 00:22:41.569
I like to get in it.
434
00:22:42.970 --> 00:22:44.990
So a lot of women don't like to negotiate and
435
00:22:45.069 --> 00:22:47.539
it's one of my favorite things to do. Yeah.
436
00:22:47.740 --> 00:22:50.400
Being able to say, this is what I feel like
437
00:22:50.500 --> 00:22:54.140
I'm worth is hard for women. You've negotiated. There are
438
00:22:54.180 --> 00:22:56.319
women listening right now too scared to go in and
439
00:22:56.420 --> 00:22:58.440
ask for a raise because what if they say no?
440
00:22:58.640 --> 00:23:01.990
You know, not now. It's a terrible time. Like what
441
00:23:02.029 --> 00:23:04.190
advice do you have for that? For women, I have
442
00:23:04.210 --> 00:23:07.509
to tell you this. It is about knowing your worth.
443
00:23:08.250 --> 00:23:12.049
And you have to understand that if you're valued and
444
00:23:12.089 --> 00:23:15.069
you're really good at what you do, if they won't
445
00:23:15.109 --> 00:23:18.369
give it to you, someone else will. But you have
446
00:23:18.410 --> 00:23:21.640
to know that. And you cannot be afraid to leave.
447
00:23:21.839 --> 00:23:23.859
And you can't be afraid to say no. You know
448
00:23:23.880 --> 00:23:26.900
the way Andy Cohen and I fell in love? How?
449
00:23:27.759 --> 00:23:30.039
Because when he was just an executive, before he got
450
00:23:30.079 --> 00:23:33.220
to TV, he cast me for the Tim Gunn show.
451
00:23:33.720 --> 00:23:36.960
Now this is like nothing against Andy. They sent me
452
00:23:37.009 --> 00:23:39.250
over a contract and I read it and I thought
453
00:23:39.289 --> 00:23:41.529
it looked really bad. And then I sent it to
454
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my lawyer and he was like, this is really bad.
455
00:23:43.849 --> 00:23:47.150
And they were not willing to negotiate. And my lawyer
456
00:23:47.210 --> 00:23:51.009
said to me, well, I mean, I guess, you know,
457
00:23:51.309 --> 00:23:54.269
you just have to take it. And I said, well, actually,
458
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I don't.
459
00:23:55.099 --> 00:23:56.490
Yeah.
460
00:23:56.859 --> 00:23:59.180
And we turned it down. I was fresh out of
461
00:23:59.880 --> 00:24:02.980
Rolling Stone. So this was my first audition that had
462
00:24:03.059 --> 00:24:06.119
ever gone on. And I got it. And then I
463
00:24:06.160 --> 00:24:06.700
had to say no.
464
00:24:06.779 --> 00:24:07.039
Wow.
465
00:24:07.859 --> 00:24:12.829
And I figured in my mind holder, I figured, well... Obviously,
466
00:24:12.890 --> 00:24:15.380
if they wanted me, someone else will. Now, here's the
467
00:24:15.410 --> 00:24:16.380
cautionary tale.
468
00:24:17.380 --> 00:24:17.579
What?
469
00:24:18.099 --> 00:24:21.619
It took seven years to get another dang TV show, okay?
470
00:24:24.220 --> 00:24:26.509
But what's the lesson? Yeah, what's the lesson there? The
471
00:24:26.549 --> 00:24:27.269
lesson is this.
472
00:24:27.910 --> 00:24:30.549
Because I didn't get the TV show, I created a
473
00:24:30.829 --> 00:24:35.359
business called Dinner with Bevy, which has fueled my life.
474
00:24:36.269 --> 00:24:39.769
and my relationships with celebrities like you would not believe.
475
00:24:40.130 --> 00:24:42.049
But if I had gotten that job, I would have
476
00:24:42.230 --> 00:24:45.289
never created Dinner With Bevy, and my trajectory would be
477
00:24:45.329 --> 00:24:46.109
totally different.
478
00:24:46.809 --> 00:24:52.150
So everything you did in between that job you turned
479
00:24:52.190 --> 00:24:54.750
down and seven years later helped you to become who
480
00:24:55.069 --> 00:25:01.970
you are today. Yeah. Wow, that's big. Up next, why
481
00:25:02.009 --> 00:25:03.930
Bevy says the best is yet to come.
482
00:25:04.410 --> 00:25:05.339
It gets greater later.
483
00:25:05.900 --> 00:25:07.920
More bevelations after this.
484
00:25:13.619 --> 00:25:14.900
This is an arrow.
485
00:25:14.920 --> 00:25:18.220
Mmm.
486
00:25:19.029 --> 00:25:25.009
And this is the sound of its minty bubbles. Conjuring
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melt in your mouth. Pure bubbly joy. Melt into the
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Life Changes.com Sometimes you're forced to change because of circumstance
499
00:26:30.359 --> 00:26:33.500
and sometimes you choose to. You're working at Rolling Stone.
500
00:26:33.519 --> 00:26:36.339
You could have ridden that train. And a lot of
501
00:26:36.380 --> 00:26:39.480
people don't, they don't want to switch because if I switch,
502
00:26:39.720 --> 00:26:42.299
oh no, oh my God, I don't know. What if
503
00:26:42.339 --> 00:26:45.569
it doesn't? A million reasons why it's scary and maybe no.
504
00:26:46.670 --> 00:26:47.650
Were you scared to jump?
505
00:26:48.670 --> 00:26:52.210
No, it was never my intention to stay there. So
506
00:26:52.250 --> 00:26:54.170
I went there with a real game plan that I
507
00:26:54.210 --> 00:26:58.890
would go there, succeed incredibly well, hit all my numbers
508
00:26:58.910 --> 00:27:01.630
so I would get my full bonus. And then at
509
00:27:01.670 --> 00:27:03.789
the end of the year, when I got my bonus,
510
00:27:03.910 --> 00:27:07.549
I would quit. And getting to Rolling Stone, it was
511
00:27:07.630 --> 00:27:10.230
worse than I could have ever fathomed. And my best friend,
512
00:27:10.819 --> 00:27:13.500
who's also my business partner now, I used to call
513
00:27:13.519 --> 00:27:16.099
her every morning and say, I can't do this. And
514
00:27:16.119 --> 00:27:18.619
she would be like, well, you can because you have
515
00:27:18.640 --> 00:27:22.609
an end date. So stick it out. Because I had
516
00:27:22.650 --> 00:27:25.349
a literal intake. It was like, when they give me
517
00:27:25.369 --> 00:27:27.710
my bonus check, once I put it in the bank
518
00:27:27.730 --> 00:27:29.410
and it clears, then I can resign.
519
00:27:29.430 --> 00:27:33.230
So there it was. It was time to jump, though.
520
00:27:33.569 --> 00:27:36.089
Did you leave because there was another opportunity or did
521
00:27:36.109 --> 00:27:39.069
you just not have anything and you just were hoping?
522
00:27:40.200 --> 00:27:42.849
Well, I wasn't hoping, though, that I just knew. See,
523
00:27:43.599 --> 00:27:46.319
I think a hope is like, I hope so. But
524
00:27:46.500 --> 00:27:48.470
I knew I was made for this. I knew I
525
00:27:48.509 --> 00:27:49.059
could do it.
526
00:27:49.170 --> 00:27:49.839
You knew it.
527
00:27:49.930 --> 00:27:53.549
I just knew it. I was very firm. And then
528
00:27:53.569 --> 00:27:56.680
when I got that job at Bravo. That was a
529
00:27:56.700 --> 00:27:58.799
high five. That was a confirmation, of course. And I
530
00:27:58.839 --> 00:28:00.140
turned it down and then, okay.
531
00:28:00.859 --> 00:28:06.140
So how did you make do? Because sometimes after a year, obviously,
532
00:28:06.180 --> 00:28:07.900
you had to make a living. You had to do things.
533
00:28:07.940 --> 00:28:09.930
You had to take care of business. What did you
534
00:28:09.970 --> 00:28:13.410
do in between? I was broke but blissful. That's the
535
00:28:13.470 --> 00:28:17.250
name of that chapter, broke but blissful. I was really broke,
536
00:28:17.509 --> 00:28:19.289
but I was really happy. How come?
537
00:28:19.410 --> 00:28:23.930
Because immediately I started doing TV stuff. Immediately I started
538
00:28:23.990 --> 00:28:27.130
writing for major publications. So I was doing everything that
539
00:28:27.230 --> 00:28:29.710
actually quit my job to do. The money just had
540
00:28:29.769 --> 00:28:32.390
not called up yet. But for me, I believe in
541
00:28:32.410 --> 00:28:34.890
the universe, right? So I'm like, well, the universe is
542
00:28:34.950 --> 00:28:38.269
actually telling you, you made the right choice because everything
543
00:28:38.289 --> 00:28:40.390
that you set out to do, you're actually doing it.
544
00:28:40.470 --> 00:28:43.529
You're just not making any money at it yet, but
545
00:28:43.569 --> 00:28:45.559
the money will come. I really believe that. And so
546
00:28:45.599 --> 00:28:49.160
then I had to scale back You know, I'm very
547
00:28:49.240 --> 00:28:51.460
candid about this. I had to go to housing court.
548
00:28:51.660 --> 00:28:53.410
Oh, you did? Wow. Yeah.
549
00:28:53.750 --> 00:28:57.529
Those situations could have been deemed bad, but I knew
550
00:28:57.650 --> 00:29:01.569
that it was temporary. And I think that also it
551
00:29:01.650 --> 00:29:05.970
helped coming from a community where people make do on
552
00:29:06.069 --> 00:29:10.329
a lot less. So I knew that the money that
553
00:29:10.410 --> 00:29:13.890
I used to make, I didn't actually need that to survive.
554
00:29:13.910 --> 00:29:16.400
I mean, I never expected to have to go to
555
00:29:16.480 --> 00:29:22.579
housing court. But even there, Holda, funny enough, when I'm
556
00:29:22.640 --> 00:29:25.480
in housing court, someone says to me, aren't you the
557
00:29:25.519 --> 00:29:28.240
lady from VH1? Because I used to do all those VH1,
558
00:29:28.339 --> 00:29:31.789
Fabulous Life, blah, blah, blah shows. They don't pay you
559
00:29:31.829 --> 00:29:35.690
any money, but you're on TV, Holda. And that's how
560
00:29:35.730 --> 00:29:39.670
you build up your reel. And so she says, aren't
561
00:29:39.690 --> 00:29:41.720
you the lady? from VH1? I'm like, yes, I am.
562
00:29:41.779 --> 00:29:43.059
She's like, what are you doing here? I said, the
563
00:29:43.099 --> 00:29:45.970
same thing you are, trying to avoid eviction. But so
564
00:29:46.089 --> 00:29:48.990
for some people, that would have been devastating, right? But
565
00:29:49.029 --> 00:29:51.950
guess how I looked at it. Hmm. I'm not even
566
00:29:52.049 --> 00:29:55.410
on TV on a regular basis, and yet someone recognizes me.
567
00:29:55.710 --> 00:29:58.690
That means I'm meant for TV because I stand out.
568
00:29:58.779 --> 00:30:02.140
I'm doing the right thing. Wow.
569
00:30:02.359 --> 00:30:06.180
Boy, you keep your eyes focused on the good. I mean,
570
00:30:06.200 --> 00:30:07.660
that's it because you could look on the other side
571
00:30:07.700 --> 00:30:10.599
of the street and see something different. What about when
572
00:30:10.640 --> 00:30:13.160
people came up to you because now you've lived a
573
00:30:13.200 --> 00:30:15.380
fabulous life, you've had all this stuff, and now you're
574
00:30:15.400 --> 00:30:19.059
hitting a real kind of rock bottom for you? Hey, Bevy,
575
00:30:19.240 --> 00:30:20.609
what are you up to these days?
576
00:30:21.859 --> 00:30:25.000
Yeah, I used to go to Milan and Paris six
577
00:30:25.039 --> 00:30:29.880
times a year, flying first class, staying at the best hotels,
578
00:30:30.440 --> 00:30:33.869
in a suite, car and driver the entire time I'm there,
579
00:30:34.640 --> 00:30:37.670
heady stuff. So in my neighborhood, people would see me
580
00:30:37.750 --> 00:30:39.890
coming out of town cars with all of my luggage
581
00:30:39.930 --> 00:30:41.990
and the people helping me and all the shopping bags
582
00:30:42.049 --> 00:30:45.890
and all the things. Now, all of a sudden, I'm
583
00:30:45.930 --> 00:30:48.210
in this new life and I'm trying to like make
584
00:30:48.250 --> 00:30:51.220
a go of it. And instead of town cars, there's
585
00:30:51.240 --> 00:30:54.059
an amazing bus stop right across the street from where
586
00:30:54.099 --> 00:30:56.720
I live. And now I'm standing at the bus stop.
587
00:30:58.279 --> 00:31:00.930
And there's a barbershop on my corner. And one day
588
00:31:00.970 --> 00:31:02.349
when the barber says, hey.
589
00:31:02.369 --> 00:31:03.150
Bev, Bev.
590
00:31:03.170 --> 00:31:06.130
And I walk over and he's like, you okay? I
591
00:31:06.769 --> 00:31:10.230
was like, no, I'm great. He's like, You sure? Because,
592
00:31:10.529 --> 00:31:12.559
I mean, I see you taking the bus now. I
593
00:31:12.970 --> 00:31:16.200
was like, oh, no, I'm changing my life. I quit
594
00:31:16.220 --> 00:31:18.279
my big fancy job and now I'm like trying to
595
00:31:18.640 --> 00:31:23.000
do entertainment and TV and stuff. He's like, yeah, OK. Yeah.
596
00:31:27.079 --> 00:31:29.619
Did that not chip away at your self-esteem?
597
00:31:29.829 --> 00:31:30.200
No.
598
00:31:30.400 --> 00:31:30.730
No.
599
00:31:30.809 --> 00:31:31.950
You know why, Hilda?
600
00:31:32.190 --> 00:31:32.450
Why?
601
00:31:32.470 --> 00:31:36.450
Because remember, I'd already gotten that big offer from Bravo
602
00:31:36.490 --> 00:31:38.730
that just had no money attached to it. I was
603
00:31:38.890 --> 00:31:42.460
already writing for Interview, for Paper Magazine, for Glamour, for Essence.
604
00:31:42.859 --> 00:31:44.839
I was on VH1. I was on BET. I was
605
00:31:44.859 --> 00:31:45.900
doing all these things.
606
00:31:46.519 --> 00:31:47.079
Right. You were busy.
607
00:31:47.099 --> 00:31:47.220
Right.
608
00:31:47.960 --> 00:31:50.660
Clearly, I was made for this. People just didn't want
609
00:31:50.700 --> 00:31:54.190
to pay me yet. So that's why I was never
610
00:31:54.250 --> 00:31:57.130
cowed by that. And I really did believe that there's
611
00:31:57.170 --> 00:32:00.670
that gospel song, trouble don't last always. And I knew
612
00:32:00.710 --> 00:32:03.930
it didn't last always. So I knew that this too
613
00:32:03.970 --> 00:32:08.440
shall pass. And it did. And it did. But before
614
00:32:08.500 --> 00:32:12.720
it passed, I was able to learn how to hunt
615
00:32:12.819 --> 00:32:17.440
and forage. And build something on my own. I took
616
00:32:17.460 --> 00:32:19.559
what was in my hands. I had a Rolodex that
617
00:32:19.599 --> 00:32:22.140
was filled with people from fashion and a Rolodex that
618
00:32:22.160 --> 00:32:24.700
was filled with people from entertainment. And I put that
619
00:32:24.740 --> 00:32:27.329
together and I created Dinner with Bevy. Do you know
620
00:32:27.349 --> 00:32:29.769
how good it feels to create something just off of
621
00:32:29.809 --> 00:32:33.430
your own imagination and your own contacts that you've built
622
00:32:33.509 --> 00:32:34.390
over the years?
623
00:32:35.029 --> 00:32:35.130
Wow.
624
00:32:35.150 --> 00:32:36.849
And then it becomes a successful thing?
625
00:32:36.869 --> 00:32:40.400
That's incredible when you think about it. That's incredible.
626
00:32:40.420 --> 00:32:40.519
Right.
627
00:32:41.180 --> 00:32:43.319
So when did the money catch up? When did they
628
00:32:43.359 --> 00:32:45.380
finally go, oh, okay.
629
00:32:45.440 --> 00:32:49.880
It's time. Andrew Cohen kept trying to find different things
630
00:32:49.920 --> 00:32:52.109
for me to do with him. He was doing Watch
631
00:32:52.119 --> 00:32:55.630
What Happens Live with Bethany Frankel. So he said, Bevy,
632
00:32:55.730 --> 00:32:59.329
can you be a guest bartender? Bethany sees me behind
633
00:32:59.369 --> 00:33:02.769
the bar. She's like, Bevy. And so then she calls
634
00:33:02.809 --> 00:33:05.549
me out from behind the bar. We're having the best time.
635
00:33:06.069 --> 00:33:06.650
It's amazing.
636
00:33:06.750 --> 00:33:07.069
Love it.
637
00:33:07.670 --> 00:33:11.319
Andy says, after that's done, I think I got the
638
00:33:11.359 --> 00:33:14.220
show for us to do together. And that show was
639
00:33:14.259 --> 00:33:15.119
Fashion Queens.
640
00:33:15.819 --> 00:33:19.720
Now you talk about like fulfilled dreams and some of them,
641
00:33:19.900 --> 00:33:22.720
they weren't even dreams. They just happened. It seems like.
642
00:33:23.259 --> 00:33:25.400
What's still left to be fulfilled?
643
00:33:27.170 --> 00:33:30.490
I love that question. And this is what I want
644
00:33:30.529 --> 00:33:32.710
to say to all of the ladies out there who
645
00:33:32.990 --> 00:33:36.869
are maybe feeling like, and it's really a mindset. It
646
00:33:36.910 --> 00:33:39.900
really doesn't have to do with a specific number. But
647
00:33:39.960 --> 00:33:41.960
if you are over the age of 50 and you
648
00:33:41.980 --> 00:33:44.460
feel like, well, that ship has sailed, I'm here to
649
00:33:44.500 --> 00:33:47.839
tell you. And you're watching Holden every day so you
650
00:33:47.880 --> 00:33:51.119
know she's here to tell you too. It gets greater later.
651
00:33:52.500 --> 00:33:55.299
At the age of 55, I have just become an actress.
652
00:33:55.640 --> 00:33:59.039
I just did a show on Amazon Prime called Harlem.
653
00:33:59.559 --> 00:34:01.839
I was called in to do three lines and it
654
00:34:01.880 --> 00:34:04.819
turned into three scenes. And now there's a season two
655
00:34:05.160 --> 00:34:08.500
and they've invited me back. So I'm an actress at
656
00:34:08.539 --> 00:34:14.070
the age of 55. I love art, something that's always
657
00:34:14.090 --> 00:34:16.969
been my passion and something that I've been talking about
658
00:34:17.030 --> 00:34:20.199
doing for a long time. And at the age of 55,
659
00:34:20.199 --> 00:34:24.460
there's a film starring Mahershala Ali and Naomi Harris called
660
00:34:24.500 --> 00:34:28.739
Swan Song that's on Apple TV. And I actually did
661
00:34:28.860 --> 00:34:35.699
the art curation for the home in that film. And
662
00:34:35.840 --> 00:34:38.340
so the next thing I want to tackle is architecture.
663
00:34:38.380 --> 00:34:41.139
I traveled the world just to see architecture. architecture that
664
00:34:41.210 --> 00:34:47.369
I love. So marrying my love of architecture, um, with travel,
665
00:34:48.150 --> 00:34:52.590
with my dinner parties and all these things. And then finally,
666
00:34:53.130 --> 00:34:56.320
my goal is to do a fairy godmother TV show
667
00:34:56.340 --> 00:35:00.360
because I'm a connector. That is my gift. I'm a connector.
668
00:35:00.900 --> 00:35:03.460
I'm a guide and I'm a teacher. And I want
669
00:35:03.480 --> 00:35:07.860
to do a show that's like Shark Tank meets Iyanla
670
00:35:07.880 --> 00:35:12.710
Fix My Life. And I'm going to help you get
671
00:35:12.750 --> 00:35:14.380
your business started.
672
00:35:14.389 --> 00:35:14.670
Love it.
673
00:35:14.949 --> 00:35:16.840
I'm going to help you scale to the next level.
674
00:35:17.219 --> 00:35:20.440
Love it. Yeah. Brilliant. By the way, that's brilliant. That
675
00:35:20.500 --> 00:35:22.000
is so completely you.
676
00:35:22.019 --> 00:35:22.579
Right.
677
00:35:22.679 --> 00:35:25.380
Now, what about the love piece?
678
00:35:25.980 --> 00:35:32.659
Okay, hold her. Hold the girl. She's open. She is
679
00:35:33.159 --> 00:35:37.920
single and always ready to mingle. I'm very, very open
680
00:35:38.000 --> 00:35:40.820
and I'm trying to be very intentional about getting my
681
00:35:40.900 --> 00:35:44.440
great guy. What I will say about that is this.
682
00:35:44.460 --> 00:35:48.579
I have a very different take on love than I
683
00:35:48.679 --> 00:35:51.340
ever have in my life. And my take on love
684
00:35:51.400 --> 00:35:56.699
is this. I want to be in a monumental, respectful,
685
00:35:56.800 --> 00:36:01.579
and very loving relationship for however long that lasts. And
686
00:36:01.619 --> 00:36:04.300
it works for the both of us. I do not
687
00:36:04.340 --> 00:36:07.579
want to be in something Just to settle. I do
688
00:36:07.619 --> 00:36:09.949
not want to be in something that we really like
689
00:36:09.989 --> 00:36:14.070
each other and we're good together, but there's no connectivity.
690
00:36:15.550 --> 00:36:19.909
I want a partner. And so that is what I'm
691
00:36:19.949 --> 00:36:22.550
looking at. That's what I'm seeking in my God.
692
00:36:22.969 --> 00:36:25.199
You know, I interviewed Viola Davis the other day and
693
00:36:25.219 --> 00:36:28.019
she said something that struck me. She has a book
694
00:36:28.039 --> 00:36:30.179
coming out. And I said, wow, to have an Oscar,
695
00:36:30.219 --> 00:36:31.880
to have this, to have that. And she said, let
696
00:36:31.920 --> 00:36:34.579
me say something to you. And it's very important. She said,
697
00:36:34.639 --> 00:36:39.400
do not mistake achievement for healing. Those are different things
698
00:36:39.559 --> 00:36:44.280
we all can achieve. But the healing is where it
699
00:36:44.760 --> 00:36:49.090
all comes. You've had achievement, obviously. And by listening to
700
00:36:49.130 --> 00:36:52.889
you during this beautiful podcast, I feel like you've had
701
00:36:52.929 --> 00:36:56.949
the healing piece too. Do you feel healed? I do.
702
00:36:56.969 --> 00:37:00.769
I feel, you know, I feel this is the happiest
703
00:37:00.789 --> 00:37:02.070
I've ever been in my life.
704
00:37:02.090 --> 00:37:02.289
And....
705
00:37:04.599 --> 00:37:09.440
Because I feel very at peace. I feel very zen.
706
00:37:10.480 --> 00:37:12.780
And I feel like I'm in a complete place. This
707
00:37:12.860 --> 00:37:15.079
is going to be revolutionary, what I'm going to say.
708
00:37:16.159 --> 00:37:21.119
I want for nothing. I need for nothing. Do you
709
00:37:21.139 --> 00:37:24.500
know what it feels like to just be, just even
710
00:37:24.579 --> 00:37:31.219
kill happy? Just like grateful every single day. I'm grateful
711
00:37:32.400 --> 00:37:36.860
for the way my life has turned out. And my guy,
712
00:37:36.880 --> 00:37:40.480
I always say, my guy is going to be my
713
00:37:40.639 --> 00:37:44.239
icing on my cake. The cake is really good without
714
00:37:44.440 --> 00:37:47.340
icing as well. And that's the way I feel.
715
00:37:47.780 --> 00:37:48.059
Wow.
716
00:37:49.699 --> 00:37:54.769
Bevy, thank you. What a beautiful conversation. Girl, I can't wait.
717
00:37:54.809 --> 00:37:56.510
Your TED Talk will be out there for the world
718
00:37:56.550 --> 00:37:59.289
to see. The more Bevy, the better. That's what I say.
719
00:37:59.530 --> 00:38:00.449
Thank you, my hold, though.
720
00:38:00.750 --> 00:38:01.769
Thank you so much, darling.
721
00:38:01.789 --> 00:38:03.090
I love you. I love you more.
722
00:38:09.550 --> 00:38:11.989
Hey guys, thank you so much for listening and going
723
00:38:12.070 --> 00:38:14.179
on this journey with me. If you like what you've heard,
724
00:38:14.199 --> 00:38:17.260
and I hope you do, please give Making Space a
725
00:38:17.539 --> 00:38:18.940
five-star rating and a.
726
00:38:18.960 --> 00:38:20.360
Review on Apple Podcasts.
727
00:38:20.739 --> 00:38:24.000
Be sure to tell your friends and follow on Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
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or wherever you're listening right now. Making Space with Hoda
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Kotb is produced by Alison Berger, along with associate producer
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Rachel Yong and audio engineer Bob Mallory. Original music by
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John Estes. Bryson Barnes is our technical director. Mina Kothuria
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is our executive producer. Soraya Gage, our general manager. And
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Madeline Herringer is our head of editorial.
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Loyalty has its rewards. Just ask the faithful. Coke Zero
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and Diet Coke selected range 2 litre, just € 2 each.
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Only with the MyCentra app. And Goodfellas New York style
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pizza range € 4. 50 each. Grab your round table refreshments with Centra.
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Proud food sponsor of the Traitors Ireland.
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Centra.
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Live every day.
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DRL Supplies.