A Conversation about BYU with Sue Bergin

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Hello and welcome to another episode of Inside Out.
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My name is Jim Bennett and I am here as always with the mighty Ian Wilkes.
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Ian, how are you, sir?
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I'm doing well today, Jim.
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How are you?
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I'm doing all right.
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So this is a podcast I've actually been looking forward to since we set it up.
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And I want to just dive straight in and introduce our guest here at the beginning, because I think this is a really important topic.
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And we've got somebody really wonderful who can shed some light on what's happening here.
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In the past week, the Salt Lake Tribune published an article called Dark Days on New rules have BYU professors running scared.
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And the focus of the article is about Clark Gilbert, who is the church's education commissioner, and his hiring and firing practices, and how the people at BYU are terrified about what's happening because, as the article describes it, it's a black box and it only opens for Clark Gilbert.
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Nobody really knows what the standards are.
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Nobody really knows where the line is.
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People are being let go.
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People are not being hired.
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And they're not being told why.
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And there's a lot of speculation as to why.
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But it's such a frustrating and terrifying situation that no BYU professors, currently employed BYU professors, were willing to speak.
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However, some...
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Former BYU professors have been willing to speak, and one person who has been quoted in the article is someone that I remember from my Southern California days, was a friend of the family, and is a very accomplished writer and editor who used to be an adjunct faculty member in BYU's Marriott School of Management.
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And we are very excited and grateful to be able to welcome Sue Bergen to the Inside Out podcast.
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Sue, how are you?
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I'm
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doing well.
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Thanks for having me, Jim and Ian.
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Well, very much appreciate you coming to speak with us, especially since you are one of the few people that actually went on record here.
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I'm looking at the article that Peggy Fletcher Stack wrote.
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It says Bergen was let go in 2022 after teaching writing at the Provo School for 28 years.
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I thought you were in the Marriott School, but were you in the writing department or English department?
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I was.
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So I worked full time in the public affairs office, public communications, when Elder Holland was president.
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And I've worked as an adjunct for...
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in the Honors Program and the Marriott School for a total of about 12 years.
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And I wrote for BYU Magazine, now Y Magazine, for 17...
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I had a regular section for 17 years.
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I wrote for them for about 35 years.
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Okay.
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So you were quite the fixture at BYU.
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A lot of people knew me because I interviewed so many professors for...
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the family focus section, which was my section for those 17 years at Wide Magazine.
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Okay.
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Well, so from the article, it says, Bergen was let go in 2022 after teaching writing at the Provo School for 28 years.
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She suspects it was for wearing rainbow pins, telling her students that she believes in love for everyone, and for stating she has two gay brothers.
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Because Bergen had worked for BYU's public communications office when now-apostle Jeffrey Holland was the university president, she contacted him after she was let go to ask if someone at church headquarters, quote, had a problem with me, unquote, since she didn't know anyone at BYU who did.
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Can you give us a little more insight?
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The article says that you, that Elder Holland wrote back to say it is not a Board of Trustees matter per se.
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So he was going to, quote, step out of this circle.
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What does he mean by step out of this circle?
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Well, he, so this was all by email, and he graciously offered to see what he could find out on my behalf about what led to this, what happened.
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And I think when he found out, he didn't tell me that he found out, but I think when he found out, it was an internal matter that They didn't want to talk about it.
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It had something to do, I'm pretty sure, with the ecclesiastical clearance office, which at the time no one knew about.
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There was a clearance.
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Your ecclesiastical clearance was done by your bishop, and my bishop had endorsed me.
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No one knew there was this separate new black box at church headquarters.
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So I can only connect dots, you know, that that existed.
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And the folks there, whoever they are and whatever they're doing, probably found something in my social media.
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I was pretty loud about my LGBT advocacy on my private Facebook.
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Well, I mean, I guess some people consider that public.
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I don't know.
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I kept it private with friends most of the time.
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And I never...
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said anything publicly as and on my Facebook page opposing any church policy.
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I would just talk about love and acceptance and suicide rates.
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Anyway, so I suspect they found lots there, and that's what led to me being fired, but nobody wanted to say that to me or felt they could legally say that to me because that could open them up to something.
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I don't know what...
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So he came back to me after saying he had checked various places.
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It was Christmas time.
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He was having trouble getting people answering and so on.
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And because he determined the board of trustees did not have a problem with me, he was going to step out of this circle of trying to communicate with others at BYU about what might have happened.
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So that's what he means by the circle, this circle of inquiry, I guess.
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So he just punked it, essentially.
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Yeah, and he referred me to Clark Gilbert.
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He said, here's Clark Gilbert's email address, and feel free to email him.
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And I did.
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Did you get a response?
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Yes, he'd had COVID, so it took about 10 days before he responded to me.
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And he just said, you know, I hear great things about your family and I don't know anything, or I don't know if he said, I don't know anything, but he said, I'm going to, I'm going to refer you to an administrator at BYU, the associate academic vice president for faculty relations.
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So I emailed him another 10 days goes by and he just says, per our longstanding practice at BYU, we don't discuss these things.
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And I understand you're, Distressed about not knowing why, but he wasn't going to tell me.
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So I was just trying to get some information because I wanted to appeal it.
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I wanted to find out what the accusation was and see if I could address it.
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I had no warning, no word from anyone that there was a problem.
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And I was being advanced, what I considered advanced, to a new position.
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And that's apparently what triggered the review.
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And this was a new procedure also.
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To that point, if you were vetted by BYU and your bishop, you could move around at BYU.
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But apparently there was something new.
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And since the musket talk, I believe, that was the triggering event that gave Clark Gilbert permission to crack down on orthodoxy or non-orthodoxy by his and I don't know who else's definition.
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Because those definitions, you know, obviously are, they vary widely from person to person and even among the 12, so.
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So Clark Gilbert...
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told you that he didn't have a problem with you and wouldn't tell you what the problem was?
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He didn't say he didn't have a problem with me.
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He just was very, I mean, I can pull it up if you want me to.
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Do
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you attribute the decision not to terminate your employment to Clark Gilbert?
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I attribute it to the policies he set up with this ecclesiastical clearance office.
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I don't know that he reviewed it himself.
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I don't know.
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I can tell you, I just, you know, just for accuracy, I'm sorry about your status with the university.
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As Elder Holland mentioned, nothing came from church headquarters on this specific case.
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It appears to be a local decision by BYU.
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I did track down where to reach out for appeals, and there are no appeals for adjuncts, and he has to have known that.
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It doesn't exist.
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You can contact, blah, blah, blah.
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I've included his contact, and that's it.
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Thank you for your...
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Adjuncts aren't employees, right?
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Adjuncts are...
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They're
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contract workers.
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Mm-hmm.
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Yeah.
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By the way, it appears to be a local decision by BYU...
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He knew that it was not a local decision like BYU.
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I mean, he had to have known that.
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Well, I had a conversation within the last couple of days with the bishop after Peggy's article came out.
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And I was talking to this bishop, and the bishop said, look, I don't understand why anybody would complain about BYU because everybody knows that when they decide to go to school there or when they decide to seek employment there, that there are these very clear standards as to what you should and shouldn't be doing.
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And my response, this bishop had clearly not read this article, because my response was, yes, everybody does have these clear standards that they agree to live by, but the thing that's so dangerous at the mall at BYU is that People are being let go.
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People are not being hired based on standards that are anything but clear.
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This idea of the black box, the fact that you have not, I mean, you're assuming it's because of your LGBTQ advocacy, despite the fact that there's nothing in BYU standards, at least in terms of Temple Recommend interviews or anything else, that prohibits people from being allies of LGBTQ people.
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But there is sort of kind of an unspoken cultural, and at least now it seems ecclesiastical, authoritative opposition to that kind of allyship, but nobody knows where the line is.
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Is it too much to wear a rainbow pin?
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Is it too much to talk about having gay family members?
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I'm assuming you weren't like petitioning the church to perform same-sex temple ceilings or anything like that.
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No, I wasn't.
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No.
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This to me is what's so disturbing is that You know, if you know what you're getting into, you know, I didn't go to BYU as an undergraduate.
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The reason I stayed in Southern California is that I didn't want to mess with the honor code.
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It wasn't that I was doing anything that was opposed to the honor code, but I just thought I really don't want to worry about it.
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What was interesting in my experience is that I went back to BYU.
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I got my undergraduate in theater from the University of Southern California.
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And then I went to BYU to get a master's of business administration from the Marriott School.
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And by that point, I was married.
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I had one daughter and had another daughter while I was going to school.
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And I had a great experience at BYU.
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And part of it, I think, was that I wasn't living on campus.
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I wasn't really part of the campus culture.
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I lived in Salt Lake and commuted down to BYU while I was getting my master's.
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But I really enjoyed it.
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And I enjoyed the fact that you could be a member of the church.
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Going to USC, you just didn't discuss your sort of church life in any kind of a school setting.
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And I found it really refreshing to be able to do that at BYU.
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But this was also in 1997.
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And the kind of LGBTQ advocacy that has...
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People often forget, I think, and correct me if I'm wrong, but people forget how quickly LGBTQ acceptance has come on the scene.
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In 1997, if you took a poll, there were polls.
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My father was in the United States Senate at the time, and this was a year after the Defense of Marriage Act was passed and signed into law by a Democratic president.
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And polls showed that something like 80% of Americans were opposed to same-sex marriage.
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And so, I mean, the kind of social pressure that BYU is under now as the country has moved towards greater inclusion, moved towards greater acceptance, same-sex marriage is now the law of the land.
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The church has even endorsed the Respect for Marriage Act.
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Did I say respect for marriage before?
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It was the Defense of Marriage Act in 1996.
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And now it's the Respect for Marriage Act, which has codified same-sex marriage as legal in all 50 states.
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And the church has endorsed that bill.
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So the church has actually made a great deal of movement in that direction.
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Not as much as many allies would like to see.
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But...
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And it's really remarkable as I look at BYU now and I look at my positive experience of BYU, I really lament and I'm worried about the people who go to school there.
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I've got two sons there right now, as well as professors there.
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I've spoken to multiple professors, none of whom, again, would be willing to go on the record.
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but all of whom are terrified by this.
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I mean, Ian, as an outsider looking in, what is your reaction to all of this?
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Yeah.
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First of all, Sue, thank you for coming on.
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This is incredibly brave and courageous of you.
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I'm so sorry you find yourself in this situation.
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I'm not sure of Jim Torley, but I'm a former bishop of the church, and I've also served on the state presidency.
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It was Elder Oaks that set me apart, and Elder Oaks that provided some training.
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And over the years, I've worked with senior leaders, including a number of general authorities, and gay rights and LGBTQ issues have come up often.
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I recall when I was a bishop, the requirement was, and I don't think we've talked about this, Jim, you know, bishops and state presidents across the world are expected, required actually on some things, to communicate information about members that the church identifies as a potential risk or a problem or an issue, including individuals who are gay or attracted to the same sex.
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And I It's been many years since I was a bishop, but I would get calls from time to time about individuals.
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I think I remember...
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few folks from the UK applying and going to BYU.
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And I got a call, I think, from Solihull, that was the headquarters of the church in the UK, and asking me questions about individuals.
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Now, the interesting thing is that I never shared any private or confidential information that I didn't think was necessary with the church.
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And that was something that I made that decision on.
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If it was an individual who was a threat to other people, physical or individuals who are a threat to children, for example, then that will be very different.
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That's information that myself and many of the bishops would share, and rightly so.
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But when a bishop interviews an individual, as you know, especially if you trust the bishop, and I found a lot of people trusted me, probably too much at times, they opened up and they shared very private, confidential information about their lives, including...
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being attracted to the same sex.
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And I always felt that was very personal, very private.
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And on this conversation earlier, I'm looking at the BYU honor code office here and the ecclesiastical endorsement tab in the website here.
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And it says here, students must obtain and maintain an active ecclesiastical endorsement in order to be admitted to BYU, continue class enrollment and graduate.
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I mean, that's pretty significant.
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I mean, they've they've got a significant hold on individuals in terms of being admitted, continuing in the curriculum and class, and even if you graduate or not.
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And so bishops, I think, are probably under pressure to disclose information.
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Sue, you talked about earlier that the church or some of the leaders in the church probably or likely found information that you posted on social media.
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Please don't go into detail because I want you to be comfortable there, but do you feel that some of that information could have come from your bishop who interviews you Do you get interviewed every year to maintain your position at BYU?
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At BYU,
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yes, it's yearly.
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So if you're an employee, as opposed to every other year for a temple recommend, if you're not a church employee.
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So, no, I don't think so, because I spoke to my bishop and talked to him about, you know, and he said, you know, I just, I get on my dashboard, you know, church employees, a yes or a no.
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to endorse or call us and discuss it.
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And he said, I just hit the, yes, I endorse.
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But since I was let go, we'll use that term, even though technically it was a non-renewal of contract, they have added to the contract for anyone who is a new hire or anyone who is moving laterally, moving up, anything.
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It's a new contract, and you have to attest that you agree with, you support the church's position on marriage, family, and gender, and you waive your confidentiality with your bishop.
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Right.
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Wow.
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That's extraordinary.
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You waive your confidentiality with your bishop.
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Sexual predators are not required to waive their confidentiality with the bishop.
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Right, right.
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That's an extraordinary revelation right there.
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But the reality is, I've resigned from the church, as Jim mentioned earlier, for this and many other good reasons, I believe.
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The church does not like gay people.
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If it could get rid of gay people, it sees gay people as a problem.
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if it could get rid of the problem or further distance itself, it would.
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It doesn't know how to come to terms with gay individuals, and it has no clear defined guidelines or policy.
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In fact, it's very mixed messaging.
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You know, if you look at the, and you're too familiar with it more than I am, but look at the honor code here and some degree of, well, broad definitions and generalizations on, standards, what you can, what you can't do in terms of behavior.
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It's not very specific to Jim's point earlier.
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It's kind of broad, kind of general, and so is open to interpretation by a bishop or by a leader who may arrive at a different interpretation.
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And then, of course, a lot of this is tied to the now infamous musket fire talk that was given by Elder Holland, in 2021.
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Jim and I served with Matt Holland.
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I got to know Matt pretty well, and I've actually met and did a little bit of work with Elder Holland when I was in Scotland with Geoffrey Holland in regards to him coming to the Edinburgh Stake that I was serving at that time.
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I don't know him personally really that well, but his talk has become quite infamous And he talked about, you know, musket fire and friendly fire and protecting the family values of the church and the doctrine of the church.
00:23:01.701 --> 00:23:05.990
He said they're protecting the doctrine of the family, defending marriage as a union of man and woman.
00:23:06.991 --> 00:23:14.244
And at the same time, on the BYU website, he talks about being inclusive.
00:23:15.170 --> 00:23:21.721
and respectful or language to that effect for LGBTQ individuals, et cetera.
00:23:22.141 --> 00:23:23.163
I won't go into the details.
00:23:23.303 --> 00:23:26.067
If anyone's interested, then go to the BYU website and read all that.
00:23:27.289 --> 00:23:37.226
So it looks to me like the church is paying lip service to the concept of being inclusive towards LGBTQ people.
00:23:37.306 --> 00:23:44.396
But at the same time, when you start getting specifics, You know, you're wearing your rainbow badge or you're talking about it or you're advocating it.
00:23:45.117 --> 00:23:52.770
It sounds like at some point yourself and others, of course, you crossed their line, but you don't know what that line is.
00:23:52.810 --> 00:23:53.672
To
00:23:56.656 --> 00:24:02.547
that point, the lines change and they shift and they don't inform when they've shifted.
00:24:02.586 --> 00:24:06.393
They just start enforcing the new unspoken rule.
00:24:06.633 --> 00:24:06.933
So...
00:24:07.458 --> 00:24:46.455
When I first began teaching in the Marriott School in 2016, and I was really, at that point, active in Mormons Building Bridges and other, you know, I was hosting hugging booths and things like that at Pride, and it was really important to me to help students who might be hiding at BYU to know that there is someone who cares and someone who, and so I would wear a rainbow pin at the beginning of each class, I did this anyway, and I would introduce myself as, just a small part of my introduction was, I'm an informed and safe person on this topic.
00:24:46.536 --> 00:24:49.300
I have two gay brothers and so on.
00:24:49.781 --> 00:25:04.364
And after a couple semesters, I just, I talked to the person over my course and said, I'm doing this, and I just want to inform you in case it becomes a problem.
00:25:04.384 --> 00:25:09.391
I want to know I feel strongly about doing this, and I'm just informing you.
00:25:09.411 --> 00:25:10.553
I wasn't asking permission.
00:25:11.374 --> 00:25:18.945
And he took it to the dean's office, not the dean herself, but a dean, associate dean.
00:25:19.827 --> 00:25:21.691
And it came back.
00:25:21.730 --> 00:25:22.771
It's like, do this.
00:25:22.972 --> 00:25:23.854
We need this.
00:25:24.275 --> 00:25:25.155
Keep doing this.
00:25:26.258 --> 00:25:32.528
And especially in 2019, after a married school student took their life in the building,
00:25:34.625 --> 00:25:35.247
I remember that.
00:25:35.906 --> 00:25:43.315
And, you know, we've got to be caring and inclusive and suicide aware.
00:25:43.335 --> 00:25:47.378
And so I was given a total green light.
00:25:48.920 --> 00:25:51.281
But then it changed, but nobody told me it changed.
00:25:52.042 --> 00:25:53.003
Right, right.
00:25:53.605 --> 00:25:54.204
And so then,
00:25:54.526 --> 00:25:56.748
yeah.
00:25:56.988 --> 00:25:57.488
Thank you for that.
00:25:57.588 --> 00:26:04.623
On the website here, and I just want to quote something here, on the honor code, on a court office website.
00:26:05.605 --> 00:26:11.594
Under frequently asked questions, he says here very clearly, is there a change in the expectations for LGBTQ students?
00:26:11.614 --> 00:26:16.201
He says here, there are no changes to the LGBTQ policies.
00:26:16.260 --> 00:26:27.097
CES is deeply committed to helping all of our students, including our LGBTQ students, feel both the love and covenant expectations of the Savior.
00:26:27.617 --> 00:26:32.726
He goes on to say, same-sex romantic behavior has been and continues to be contrary to the principles, including the CS honor code.
00:26:33.547 --> 00:26:43.642
LGBTQ students are a welcomed and valued part of the campus community and share a common identity with every student as sons and daughters of God.
00:26:43.781 --> 00:26:48.829
All students will continue to be encouraged to live the gospel and university college commitments.
00:26:49.230 --> 00:27:02.613
So in writing, they've got this statement, but in reality, when you start to advocate and try to create a safe place where LGBTQ people come to the university and feel someone is there to help them, or at least they feel welcome.
00:27:03.093 --> 00:27:05.817
The experience for them is very different then, it sounds like.
00:27:06.617 --> 00:27:11.564
Well, and there is a huge distinction between the students and the faculty slash staff.
00:27:12.825 --> 00:27:29.785
So that phrase you just read, encourage them to live the gospel, which is interpreted as if you are LGBTQ+, you must abandon all ideas of any romantic attachment to anyone for the rest of your life, right?
00:27:29.826 --> 00:27:43.539
So that becomes the faculty and staff's job is to help these students come to that commitment and place.
00:27:44.340 --> 00:27:46.103
So there's a different standard for the students.
00:27:46.123 --> 00:27:50.468
They're welcomed, they're encouraged, you know, they're loved in words anyway.
00:27:51.528 --> 00:27:52.450
Action's another thing.
00:27:53.030 --> 00:28:08.907
But the faculty and staff are to never, now, since I left, never encouraged them to live out their life in consonance with their attractions.
00:28:11.894 --> 00:28:14.699
And you can be fired if you do that.
00:28:15.901 --> 00:28:16.041
But
00:28:16.643 --> 00:28:17.023
from what
00:28:17.104 --> 00:28:17.904
I understand, you
00:28:18.226 --> 00:28:20.009
weren't doing that.
00:28:20.028 --> 00:28:20.390
I wasn't.
00:28:20.834 --> 00:28:30.063
No, but having pride in your sexual orientation is not consonant with the gospel apparently now.
00:28:31.003 --> 00:28:34.708
It was okay for a while, but now it's not.
00:28:34.748 --> 00:28:44.237
Now that's going beyond the scope of what they want to, of what they consider loving.
00:28:44.998 --> 00:28:45.678
It's not loving.
00:28:45.718 --> 00:28:49.162
If God doesn't want you to do this, it's not loving.
00:28:49.794 --> 00:28:58.125
to wear a pride pin that encourages you to live out a gay relationship, let's say.
00:28:58.807 --> 00:29:01.971
Just on that, Sue, just tying to that, I'm listening intently.
00:29:02.011 --> 00:29:10.664
Elder Holland in his now infamous Musketfire talk, which is a terrible talk, in my opinion, a very threatening, actually.
00:29:10.684 --> 00:29:15.653
I think it's very cloaked in undertones, for sure.
00:29:15.692 --> 00:29:16.314
He says this.
00:29:17.026 --> 00:29:24.156
He says that we have to be careful that love and empathy do not get interpreted as condoning and advocacy.
00:29:26.359 --> 00:29:27.060
There it is.
00:29:27.541 --> 00:29:27.922
Yeah.
00:29:28.001 --> 00:29:36.535
So, you know, for an LGBTQ individual, Jim, why would you go and open up your life to your bishop?
00:29:37.455 --> 00:29:40.981
Share all your inner thoughts and feelings about your attraction to the same sex.
00:29:41.826 --> 00:29:47.192
Why would he do that at the risk of the bishop disclosing that and you potentially getting thrown out of BYU?
00:29:47.613 --> 00:29:50.957
This is going to push people to remain quiet.
00:29:51.357 --> 00:29:55.583
I can't imagine they would feel safe and secure in an environment like that.
00:29:55.843 --> 00:30:02.411
And having gone to a couple of really good universities in the UK, which is much more inclusive, I'm astonished.
00:30:03.211 --> 00:30:11.261
And I don't fully understand how BYU can maintain its status as an inclusive university.
00:30:11.394 --> 00:30:14.798
educational facility in the global context.
00:30:15.820 --> 00:30:23.393
It's extraordinary that it's got this standing, the status, and yet it's not inclusive at all.
00:30:23.432 --> 00:30:33.469
In fact, it creates an environment, it sounds like, which is unsafe, hostile, and potentially threatening.
00:30:33.690 --> 00:30:42.242
Yet it's got the status in, not in the world, I don't think, but certainly in America, Certainly, you know, people haven't heard of BYU outside of America, mostly.
00:30:42.262 --> 00:30:43.545
It
00:30:43.625 --> 00:30:44.306
is falling.
00:30:44.566 --> 00:30:47.730
I mean, its reputation is falling, I think, because of these things.
00:30:50.255 --> 00:30:55.403
They were listed, I think, I was talking about this actually over dinner.
00:30:56.724 --> 00:31:03.154
They used to be something like number 61 in terms of their academic reputation, according to U.S.
00:31:03.174 --> 00:31:04.096
News and World Report.
00:31:04.717 --> 00:31:07.741
That's fallen to number 109 now.
00:31:08.642 --> 00:31:28.903
Uh, and it's different from school to school as well, because some of these schools, BYU had a big, huge kerfuffle over the fact that speech therapy students were no longer being allowed to be taught how to help transgender people.
00:31:29.983 --> 00:31:32.467
Um, trying to think about your
00:31:32.507 --> 00:31:32.987
voices.
00:31:33.167 --> 00:31:33.367
Yeah.
00:31:33.428 --> 00:31:35.390
Modulate their, uh, yeah.
00:31:35.842 --> 00:31:38.184
Were you aware of that whole situation?
00:31:38.464 --> 00:31:38.806
Yes.
00:31:39.046 --> 00:31:49.078
And not only were the students disallowed, but the clinic, they run a clinic for the community there for the students to learn.
00:31:49.098 --> 00:31:54.726
They did at the BYU speech and language therapy clinic.
00:31:55.326 --> 00:31:57.648
And they had a number of trans clients.
00:31:58.569 --> 00:32:01.374
And those clients were summarily dismissed immediately.
00:32:02.465 --> 00:32:04.028
We can't serve you anymore.
00:32:04.067 --> 00:32:11.676
I mean, by this new policy, the people in the clinic, from my understanding, were devastated that they had to do this.
00:32:14.539 --> 00:32:18.664
To the musket fire talk, to some degree.
00:32:19.566 --> 00:32:19.987
What happened
00:32:20.027 --> 00:32:21.628
right after the musket fire talk?
00:32:22.289 --> 00:32:31.000
Well, in the musket fire talk, Elder Holland said, we may lose some certifications, but were willing to do that.
00:32:31.941 --> 00:32:36.508
The part of that talk that really frustrated me more than any other part of it.
00:32:37.269 --> 00:32:43.157
And it's interesting how Elder Holland has since responded to the musket fire talk.
00:32:43.699 --> 00:32:45.642
He acknowledged it about five years after.
00:32:45.662 --> 00:32:49.086
I guess five years is strong because this musket fire was...
00:32:50.088 --> 00:32:51.371
So I'm getting my timing all wrong.
00:32:51.411 --> 00:32:52.051
Same
00:32:52.112 --> 00:32:52.511
setting.
00:32:52.593 --> 00:32:56.157
He gave a talk this last August about...
00:32:56.513 --> 00:33:01.979
for BYU faculty, which is where he gave the original talk, the beginning of the academic school year.
00:33:02.500 --> 00:33:14.851
Well, he talked about all the tears that he shed and how he was brokenhearted by how many people were hurt by the talk, but still refused to apologize for the talk or take anything back from the talk.
00:33:15.632 --> 00:33:20.797
And the part of it that I found to be most frustrating was when he slapped down Matt Easton.
00:33:21.698 --> 00:33:23.880
Oh, that was awful.
00:33:25.000 --> 00:33:25.942
That was awful.
00:33:26.402 --> 00:33:29.045
Can you talk about that for a second?
00:33:29.065 --> 00:33:59.624
Well, in his original talk, in both talks, yeah, he talked in veiled terms about a gay student who was valedictorian in his college and gave the speech and came out in his speech in 2021 and said, he had gone through all a whole process of permissions to do this.
00:34:00.184 --> 00:34:04.450
He informed his Dean, he informed his department chair that he was going to do this.
00:34:04.510 --> 00:34:06.773
And they all said, fine, you know, they looked at his car.
00:34:06.834 --> 00:34:10.539
I don't know if they looked at his copy, but my guess is they looked at his copy and said, that's fine.
00:34:11.800 --> 00:34:36.987
So he did every, I don't, I don't know exactly or remember what elder Holland said about it, but it was, he didn't use the name, but you know, it was a bit of a, sarcastic reference to a student using, you know, this forum where people are celebrating and, you know, to kind of grind his own axe.
00:34:37.007 --> 00:34:39.110
I mean, he didn't say that, but that was the...
00:34:39.570 --> 00:34:41.353
The word he used was commandeered.
00:34:41.393 --> 00:34:43.376
He commandeered, yeah.
00:34:44.036 --> 00:34:44.356
Yeah.
00:34:45.958 --> 00:34:48.681
Elder Easton had commandeered Elder Easton...
00:34:48.722 --> 00:34:52.186
Elder Easton.
00:34:52.514 --> 00:35:11.423
Matt Easton spoke in the 2019 ceremony, and I'm trying to find the exact quote from Elder Holland, but his complaint was that when somebody comes up and he commandeers a graduation ceremony to do this, then it's, oh, here it is.
00:35:12.505 --> 00:35:17.313
What might another speaker feel free to announce the next year until eventually anything goes?
00:35:18.155 --> 00:35:18.574
Yeah, that
00:35:18.596 --> 00:35:19.918
was the sarcasm
00:35:19.938 --> 00:35:20.157
panel.
00:35:20.481 --> 00:35:26.869
if we push individual license over institutional dignity for very long.
00:35:27.972 --> 00:35:48.177
Implying that it was not dignified to reveal such a thing, even though everybody is constantly talking about their husbands and their fiancés and their heterosexual relationships, but it's undignified to speak of your orientation, not even a relationship, just of your orientation.
00:35:48.898 --> 00:35:53.865
even though heterosexuality is shoved down everybody's throats constantly.
00:35:56.670 --> 00:36:07.565
If a student commandeers a graduation podium intended to represent everyone getting diplomas in order to announce his personal sexual orientation, what might another speaker feel free to announce next year?
00:36:08.327 --> 00:36:08.668
Yeah.
00:36:10.550 --> 00:36:11.873
And Matt was devastated.
00:36:11.893 --> 00:36:14.918
I spoke to Matt, and he was devastated.
00:36:16.079 --> 00:36:17.601
Matt, my daughter...
00:36:18.050 --> 00:36:22.876
My second daughter graduated from BYU at the same time Matt Easton did.
00:36:23.777 --> 00:36:26.159
And she went to school with Matt Easton and knew him.
00:36:26.420 --> 00:36:27.442
And yeah, that was her...
00:36:27.802 --> 00:36:28.282
She said that...
00:36:29.445 --> 00:36:30.465
I mean, for an apostle...
00:36:30.485 --> 00:36:36.653
I mean, the amount of power that an apostle has, particularly among a believing...
00:36:37.034 --> 00:36:45.746
to a believing member of the church, for an apostle to just slap you down that publicly when, in fact...
00:36:46.369 --> 00:36:50.777
Matt Easton got permission to say exactly what he'd said, as you pointed out.
00:36:51.358 --> 00:36:53.621
And he did it in the most dignified way.
00:36:53.661 --> 00:36:55.164
Yeah.
00:36:55.184 --> 00:37:02.036
As far as I remember, his only reference was, I stand here as a proud gay son of God.
00:37:02.077 --> 00:37:03.880
And that was it.
00:37:05.101 --> 00:37:05.181
Yeah.
00:37:05.442 --> 00:37:08.425
It wasn't, and I'm looking forward to getting married to another man.
00:37:08.445 --> 00:37:12.510
And I think the church needs to perform same-sex temple ceremonies.
00:37:13.251 --> 00:37:14.373
And there was none of that.
00:37:14.413 --> 00:37:18.838
There was just the acknowledgement that he was a gay man.
00:37:18.858 --> 00:37:18.918
And
00:37:19.539 --> 00:37:25.085
if we're really, truly inclusive, BYU, then why wouldn't we not celebrate?
00:37:26.507 --> 00:37:29.911
Oh, now we know we can put our arms around you, right?
00:37:30.273 --> 00:37:31.233
Because you told us.
00:37:31.253 --> 00:37:34.557
Thank you for telling us so we can put our arms around you.
00:37:36.161 --> 00:37:38.605
Where do you see this going, Sue?
00:37:39.585 --> 00:37:41.427
What do you think is going to end up happening?
00:37:42.969 --> 00:37:48.956
I'm not good at things like that, but, you know, people talk.
00:37:49.257 --> 00:37:51.820
I talk to a lot of BYU people often.
00:37:52.300 --> 00:38:02.891
And, you know, a lot of people see it as a pendulum swinging and it's going to swing back, but who knows how long it will take and how much damage will be done in the meantime.
00:38:02.931 --> 00:38:04.293
Yeah.
00:38:05.570 --> 00:38:09.635
I think it will swing back, but again, in my lifetime, I don't know.
00:38:09.655 --> 00:38:10.958
I don't know.
00:38:10.998 --> 00:38:17.746
Things are retrenching so deeply that it could take quite a while to dig back out and up.
00:38:19.449 --> 00:38:21.952
Well, that may well be true.
00:38:21.994 --> 00:38:33.250
What I find interesting about this is that this is different from other retrenchments in that in previous retrenchments, I think...
00:38:34.081 --> 00:38:40.407
that the leaders and the members were far more in sync than they seem to be now.
00:38:41.548 --> 00:38:48.976
Because the church, particularly on LGBTQ issues, is sending out such mixed messages.
00:38:50.137 --> 00:39:02.070
Because when I was growing up in the church, the standard was, if you were gay, it was because you chose to be gay and you're a wicked person, so stop being gay and then everything will be fine.
00:39:03.202 --> 00:39:11.052
And as I think loathsome as that idea is, it has the virtue of being logically consistent.
00:39:12.014 --> 00:39:26.114
If being gay is a voluntary choice and we choose our sexual attractions, then the church could conceivably be justified in withholding all of its blessings until you make a different choice.
00:39:26.956 --> 00:39:44.182
But the church, particularly since Proposition 8, since 2008, And after same-sex marriage has become the law of the land in 2015, the church has now, for the first time, acknowledged, no, you do not choose your sexual attractions.
00:39:45.465 --> 00:39:49.570
They created that website, Mormon and Gay.
00:39:51.092 --> 00:39:57.561
It's now part of, you're not allowed to say Mormon anymore, but the material is still on the church's website.
00:39:58.210 --> 00:40:13.826
where it talked about how people do not choose their attractions and also people should not expect their attractions to change based on sufficient righteousness, which is a 180-degree shift from what I was taught when I was a teenager.
00:40:14.266 --> 00:40:21.592
And it also has not trickled down to the local congregations still.
00:40:22.773 --> 00:40:32.498
There are still many people who speak of it as a choice and It's something that can be changed if you want to badly enough, and the atonement can cure everything.
00:40:35.965 --> 00:40:39.050
Because these things are not said from the general conference pulpit.
00:40:39.971 --> 00:40:40.472
That's correct.
00:40:41.393 --> 00:40:54.213
And that's the challenge, is that the church has made that concession, but it's still, okay, you didn't choose to be gay, but we're still going to treat you as if you did.
00:40:55.329 --> 00:41:04.260
And we're still not going to offer any kind of righteous outlet for who it is that you are, who you never chose to be this person.
00:41:04.320 --> 00:41:05.400
This is just who you are.
00:41:05.440 --> 00:41:11.288
And yet we're going to tell you to deny that part of you for the rest of your life.
00:41:12.048 --> 00:41:22.059
And hopefully after you die, you will be transformed into an entirely different person with entirely different attractions who you probably wouldn't be able to recognize.
00:41:22.581 --> 00:41:23.521
And guess what happens?
00:41:24.322 --> 00:41:31.911
People who are so devoted to the church, they want to get to that next life and get cheered now.
00:41:31.931 --> 00:41:33.514
And guess what they do?
00:41:34.155 --> 00:41:34.576
Some.
00:41:36.478 --> 00:41:44.148
Hopefully fewer, but it's been just horrible to watch that happen repeatedly.
00:41:44.168 --> 00:41:53.782
When you're in that community, part of that community, as an ally, as an advocate, as a member of the community, you see it.
00:41:54.273 --> 00:41:56.737
more than most people do, and it's just...
00:41:58.217 --> 00:42:00.380
Can you talk a little bit more about that?
00:42:00.481 --> 00:42:02.503
I mean, you talk about being part of a hugging booth.
00:42:02.603 --> 00:42:03.724
I remember the Mama Dragons.
00:42:04.304 --> 00:42:04.525
Yeah.
00:42:04.545 --> 00:42:06.447
Were you working with the Mama Dragons on that?
00:42:06.467 --> 00:42:06.487
I
00:42:08.329 --> 00:42:09.010
was actually...
00:42:09.271 --> 00:42:11.012
I did that early on through...
00:42:11.032 --> 00:42:14.717
in 2013 and 2014 for Mormons Building Bridges.
00:42:15.237 --> 00:42:17.900
So that was a little before the Mama Dragons had formed.
00:42:20.362 --> 00:42:21.603
Yeah, I mean, it was just...
00:42:23.617 --> 00:42:26.902
Both times I did it in Provo, at the Provo Pride.
00:42:26.943 --> 00:42:30.188
They didn't have a parade in Provo, but they had a Pride festival.
00:42:31.309 --> 00:42:33.793
They still don't have a parade, but they have a festival.
00:42:34.094 --> 00:42:44.650
And, yeah, just the folks who would come up and want hugs, just, I mean, we would end up in tears so often.
00:42:44.710 --> 00:42:45.431
It's like, really?
00:42:45.471 --> 00:42:48.375
Mormons building bridges?
00:42:48.474 --> 00:42:50.798
Mormons care about us?
00:42:50.958 --> 00:42:51.159
What?
00:42:52.782 --> 00:42:52.862
Yeah.
00:42:54.402 --> 00:42:58.547
I got my 80-something-year-old mother to join.
00:42:58.586 --> 00:43:07.275
She has two gay sons, you know, and she joined one year with me, and it was transformative.
00:43:08.097 --> 00:43:19.389
It's just, you just see, I mean, you see the pain, the suffering, just the abject despair of so many people.
00:43:20.065 --> 00:43:30.476
At that time, I hope there isn't as much despair now because the love is getting bigger and embracing inclusion is getting bigger.
00:43:30.976 --> 00:43:42.047
But you'd see that and then you'd see the joy of, oh, well, it's so nice to know that there are people who care and who are trying to make a difference here.
00:43:42.186 --> 00:43:46.130
And then there were others who were just like, why are you trying to build a bridge?
00:43:47.172 --> 00:43:49.293
But the Mormon church burned that bridge down.
00:43:49.858 --> 00:43:51.059
you know, a long time ago.
00:43:51.079 --> 00:43:53.563
There's no point in building a bridge.
00:43:53.722 --> 00:43:56.106
And that's the way I feel now, actually, to be honest.
00:43:57.347 --> 00:44:06.760
And Mormons building bridges has kind of, it still exists, but it's not as vigorous as it used to be because most people are like, there's no bridge.
00:44:07.702 --> 00:44:08.362
Bridge to what?
00:44:08.563 --> 00:44:09.625
There's nothing to bridge to.
00:44:12.088 --> 00:44:12.228
Yeah.
00:44:12.949 --> 00:44:26.166
Sue, we talked earlier about the church building online and perhaps in talks to an extent, it's quite broad and loose in terms of its language around supporting the gay community.
00:44:27.088 --> 00:44:34.978
You also mentioned that the lines change and they're quite blurred and quite obscure.
00:44:34.998 --> 00:44:37.623
A couple of questions come to mind.
00:44:37.663 --> 00:44:41.007
Where do you think this went wrong for you in terms of the termination?
00:44:41.927 --> 00:44:43.289
Can you pinpoint something you did?
00:44:43.329 --> 00:44:49.402
And the second question I've got, if you don't mind, is What impact has this had?
00:44:50.563 --> 00:44:54.547
When they terminated you, what impact has this had on your life?
00:44:55.108 --> 00:44:56.989
If you can speak to those two questions.
00:44:57.610 --> 00:45:00.074
Well, the first one is I don't know because nobody would tell me.
00:45:00.094 --> 00:45:12.949
I can only suspect that this new ecclesiastical clearance office scrutinized my social media and found pride flags and expressions of...
00:45:15.554 --> 00:45:17.916
acceptance and love and inclusion.
00:45:17.936 --> 00:45:19.277
I mean, that's all I did.
00:45:19.358 --> 00:45:20.820
I didn't do the other stuff.
00:45:21.360 --> 00:45:29.951
I didn't do the marriage equality advocacy on my Facebook because I knew, you know, I mean, the church was paying my paycheck, right?
00:45:30.052 --> 00:45:44.280
And I had to make a reasonable decision about not speaking against my employer's stated position about something.
00:45:44.780 --> 00:45:46.864
But I did not think I had crossed a line.
00:45:47.925 --> 00:46:02.545
Now, I should qualify that and say that I did take a risk twice in class and say part of the course I was teaching included a unit on diversity, equity, and inclusion.
00:46:02.646 --> 00:46:06.431
And we called it that then, that those words are dirty words now at BYU.
00:46:07.052 --> 00:46:13.280
But that was part of the course that I was required to teach.
00:46:13.740 --> 00:46:30.221
And I did say after having a gay person come in and lead the discussion on that part, for that part, because I tried not to act like I knew all this, because I didn't and I don't.
00:46:31.822 --> 00:46:46.686
But I did say after they concluded and with their agreement with the church's position, I said twice, I said, I respectfully disagree with the church's position about marriage equality.
00:46:48.048 --> 00:46:52.733
And I know that that is problematic.
00:46:52.894 --> 00:46:54.215
I have wrestled with it.
00:46:55.297 --> 00:46:58.701
And it's your job as young adults to wrestle with this kind of thing.
00:46:58.882 --> 00:46:59.963
I know some of you do.
00:47:00.003 --> 00:47:04.688
And I'm not gonna tell you what to do or what to believe.
00:47:04.728 --> 00:47:16.110
I'm just letting you know that this person in front of you, me, has wrestled with this, and I respectfully disagree.
00:47:16.150 --> 00:47:30.947
And my understanding at the time was that that was okay because Elder Christofferson had said in a press conference that members disagreeing was okay.
00:47:31.086 --> 00:47:36.713
Now, I was an employee, so that doesn't mean that that applied to me, but I took a chance.
00:47:36.833 --> 00:47:37.074
I did.
00:47:38.146 --> 00:47:41.411
And maybe that got into a student evaluation or something.
00:47:41.471 --> 00:47:41.831
I don't know.
00:47:42.954 --> 00:47:54.773
But I looked at all my student evaluations every semester except the last one because I was informed before they became available that I was being terminated.
00:47:54.813 --> 00:47:58.177
And I just decided not to look at them.
00:47:58.418 --> 00:47:58.938
I just was...
00:48:00.521 --> 00:48:03.726
So the way it's affected me is that was...
00:48:04.027 --> 00:48:05.409
I am so support...
00:48:06.210 --> 00:48:14.759
And I have chronic illness, and I was cobbling together a living by being an adjunct and writing for BYU Magazine.
00:48:15.099 --> 00:48:22.067
And it was a scraping by kind of living, but it's what I could do with my energy and other issues.
00:48:22.387 --> 00:48:30.175
And when they did not renew my contract, I was 64.
00:48:30.255 --> 00:48:31.577
That was three years ago.
00:48:31.597 --> 00:48:36.913
And I looked hard for a job.
00:48:37.594 --> 00:48:38.715
Cannot work full-time.
00:48:38.735 --> 00:48:47.346
And, you know, part-time jobs are, you know,$12 to$15 an hour, basically.
00:48:47.686 --> 00:48:54.054
And so instead I've been cobbling together independent editing and writing work.
00:48:54.195 --> 00:48:57.179
And it's been very difficult, you know, especially with AI coming out.
00:48:58.760 --> 00:49:01.123
It's just hard to get enough work to make a living.
00:49:01.443 --> 00:49:02.425
And it has...
00:49:03.233 --> 00:49:05.536
I am living below the poverty line, to be honest.
00:49:06.237 --> 00:49:11.766
And it's been very stressful.
00:49:12.947 --> 00:49:14.789
It has decimated my finances.
00:49:14.989 --> 00:49:21.318
And I cannot, I have to keep working until I'm 70 to get the higher rate.
00:49:21.559 --> 00:49:26.106
Because I have no pension, you know, as an adjunct part-time person at BYU.
00:49:26.646 --> 00:49:30.012
For most of my time there, I had no pension.
00:49:31.273 --> 00:49:31.773
Yeah.
00:49:32.385 --> 00:49:33.989
Anyway, it's been difficult.
00:49:34.088 --> 00:49:35.150
It's also been freeing.
00:49:35.170 --> 00:49:53.559
I mean, I can't deny that it's been freeing to not have to listen to, go to church and listen to incessant meetings about temples and tithing and gender and marriage.
00:49:54.280 --> 00:50:02.170
I mean, the meetings have just turned into programs advocacy.
00:50:02.971 --> 00:50:13.842
There's just so little about kindness and love and forgiveness and the basic teachings of Jesus, which I value and love and have tried to live by.
00:50:13.882 --> 00:50:35.423
And I must say what everything I've done with my LGBT advocacy, I did because of what the church taught me, not in spite of what the church taught me, but because of what it taught me about kindness and goodness and being loving and inclusive and understanding.
00:50:35.764 --> 00:50:40.188
And that's where those values led me.
00:50:40.690 --> 00:50:43.932
And I don't regret any of it.
00:50:43.972 --> 00:50:48.197
That's really heartbreaking to hear.
00:50:48.237 --> 00:50:59.070
That's the thing that's so frustrating about this article particularly, is that these are real people whose lives are being devastated.
00:50:59.777 --> 00:51:02.641
for reasons that no one's willing to explain.
00:51:02.661 --> 00:51:11.396
And if you're going to be good and you're going to be kind, at least have the kindness and decency to be transparent.
00:51:12.597 --> 00:51:12.697
Right.
00:51:12.717 --> 00:51:14.840
Somebody owes you an explanation.
00:51:14.860 --> 00:51:27.902
I mean, you've guessed, and I think we all agree you've likely guessed correctly that it has to do with some kind of specific LGBTQ advocacy on your part.
00:51:28.865 --> 00:51:32.030
But I think they owe you that explanation, even now.
00:51:32.871 --> 00:51:35.793
Somebody needs to come out and take accountability for that.
00:51:36.855 --> 00:51:37.155
Yeah.
00:51:38.197 --> 00:51:39.056
It's not going to happen.
00:51:39.878 --> 00:51:41.360
Well, it's not going to happen.
00:51:41.940 --> 00:51:50.650
As you talk about, though, this is, I had sort of started this thought, and I want to pursue it a little bit.
00:51:51.731 --> 00:52:12.206
One of the reasons I think the pendulum will swing back faster this time is that I don't think the general membership, particularly the rising generation, are with Clark Gilbert on this.
00:52:13.748 --> 00:52:13.909
But we
00:52:13.929 --> 00:52:19.817
have to be clear that it's not Clark, that any member of the 15 could stop this if they wanted to.
00:52:19.876 --> 00:52:20.818
They are aware.
00:52:20.838 --> 00:52:22.280
They are aware.
00:52:22.300 --> 00:52:23.541
They could.
00:52:25.824 --> 00:52:27.266
The channel over him.
00:52:28.001 --> 00:52:41.382
So we have to say that they are doing it intentionally, and they know, and this is what they want, and he's doing what they want, or he would not be continuing on this path.
00:52:42.844 --> 00:53:04.235
Well, so the article talks about that a little bit, because everything I hear about what's happening behind the scenes, even in the Quorum of Twelve, And among, I mean, I don't know if there's any of this happening in the first presidency.
00:53:04.315 --> 00:53:05.719
I think they're fairly united.
00:53:05.759 --> 00:53:12.318
But LGBTQ issues are one of the most divisive issues.
00:53:13.282 --> 00:53:22.396
are the most divisive issues even among church leadership and that there are brethren who want to see more inclusion and who are pushing for more inclusion.
00:53:23.217 --> 00:53:36.659
And they're running up against the sort of brick wall as there are some brethren, I think President Oaks being the most prominent, are just sort of this brick wall.
00:53:36.759 --> 00:53:48.206
We're not going to see any greater inclusion As long as President Oaks, who's going to become the president of the church fairly shortly, President Oaks won't tolerate it.
00:53:49.027 --> 00:54:04.251
And as a result, the one thing that the Quorum of the Twelve is not willing to do, ever, is show any sign that there is anything but perfect unity among the Twelve.
00:54:04.891 --> 00:54:08.177
All you have to do is listen to General Conference carefully to know that that's
00:54:08.257 --> 00:54:08.777
not so.
00:54:09.121 --> 00:54:10.844
Right, right.
00:54:10.945 --> 00:54:20.599
I mean, it's very clear that very often they're speaking to each other more than they're speaking to the general membership.
00:54:21.820 --> 00:54:24.125
You know, you saw that in this last conference.
00:54:25.266 --> 00:54:33.840
Actually, it was the conference before that where Elder Kieran gave this really wonderful, inclusive, universalist talk.
00:54:34.621 --> 00:54:36.903
And Elder Uchtdorf gave a talk very similar.
00:54:36.923 --> 00:54:44.735
And Other talks were just hardcore retrenching and just the absolute opposite of universalism.
00:54:45.054 --> 00:54:50.702
And, you know, let's hide out in the temples and the world is so wicked and we need to make sure that we're...
00:54:51.523 --> 00:54:57.992
I mean, you see this sort of battle and this sort of tension that is bubbling under the surface.
00:54:58.893 --> 00:55:05.262
But the one thing that they're not willing to do is stick their necks out and say, I disagree with any of my other brethren.
00:55:05.922 --> 00:55:21.483
And I think that's one of the reasons why, sadly, we can't expect somebody in the Quorum of the Twelve to break ranks and come to your rescue and come to the rescue of the other professors that are seeing all of this.
00:55:21.503 --> 00:55:24.427
I want to look here quickly at the article.
00:55:25.349 --> 00:55:32.097
Oh, well, no, but in finishing my thought, the general membership of the church is not there.
00:55:32.458 --> 00:55:34.981
The general membership of the church is not with Clark Gilbert.
00:55:35.458 --> 00:55:45.710
all of the polling, particularly of young members of the church, shows that a majority of Latter-day Saints believe in the legality of same-sex marriage.
00:55:46.632 --> 00:55:55.184
That shows that somewhere around two-thirds of Latter-day Saints between the ages of 18 and 30 believe likewise.
00:55:55.204 --> 00:55:57.206
I'm rafting with my love.
00:55:58.248 --> 00:55:59.028
Can you see my
00:55:59.148 --> 00:55:59.730
heart?
00:55:59.849 --> 00:56:02.233
Yes, I see all the hearts on the screen.
00:56:02.293 --> 00:56:09.059
This is a audio podcast, but I want everybody to know that Sue is throwing out hearts in response to this.
00:56:09.820 --> 00:56:35.210
But this is the thing that you're seeing is that it's getting harder and harder and harder for these kinds of retrenchments to take root because there are now so many different avenues for people to express themselves and people to find like-minded people who agree with them, and to build communities online as well as in person.
00:56:36.451 --> 00:56:44.981
It's really hard for a church leader to sort of dictate belief by fiat.
00:56:45.943 --> 00:56:57.637
Well, and there's also, I mean, you're giving me hope, and I want to add that the human spirit wants to grow and wants expansion of their being.
00:56:58.561 --> 00:57:21.673
And what's happening with this retrenchment is just this calcification and this closing in of walls where the God I know is just throwing walls down, you know, just removing them and expanding us and wants to as much as we'll allow.
00:57:21.693 --> 00:57:23.936
And that human...
00:57:26.306 --> 00:57:38.800
instinct and drive to grow and improve and be better and be more loving and rise is unstoppable.
00:57:38.840 --> 00:57:52.077
And if, you know, a culture at BYU is going to try to shut that down, which is, I think, what is actually happening.
00:57:52.117 --> 00:57:54.800
You know, inquiry is not welcome.
00:57:57.186 --> 00:57:59.208
open, robust discussion.
00:57:59.228 --> 00:58:09.844
I mean, we've all had the thrill of being in a room where people are openly giving their real, true thoughts, even if they're not acceptable.
00:58:11.186 --> 00:58:16.755
There's something that's just so enlivening and enlightening about that.
00:58:17.155 --> 00:58:23.166
And if that's not happening at BYU because the professors are scared to open those doors...
00:58:24.001 --> 00:58:25.163
And they have good reason to.
00:58:25.222 --> 00:58:26.704
It's their livelihood, right?
00:58:28.947 --> 00:58:30.248
It just can't sustain it.
00:58:30.369 --> 00:58:31.489
It won't be sustained.
00:58:32.150 --> 00:58:33.291
It's not sustainable.
00:58:33.311 --> 00:58:33.331
I
00:58:34.673 --> 00:58:37.036
completely, I concur with that completely.
00:58:37.597 --> 00:58:39.659
Gay rights has become a civil rights issue.
00:58:40.701 --> 00:58:42.041
Yeah.
00:58:42.061 --> 00:58:54.168
And the church in one breath recognizes that, you know, by accepting certain laws and legislation, you know, enacted by Utah and other states around the US and around the world to some extent.
00:58:54.949 --> 00:58:59.177
The church is, by the way, is very inactive on these issues outside of America.
00:58:59.217 --> 00:59:05.306
Mostly, in my opinion, it doesn't really get involved in this stuff in UK or Europe.
00:59:05.786 --> 00:59:09.813
It's mostly, mostly not entirely, you know, American centric.
00:59:11.295 --> 00:59:15.222
You know, the church is on the wrong side of history here.
00:59:15.242 --> 00:59:17.626
It's on the wrong side of history on polygamy.
00:59:18.242 --> 00:59:20.967
It's on the wrong side of history, the race of the priesthood.
00:59:21.007 --> 00:59:23.773
These are complete, absolute disasters for the church.
00:59:23.813 --> 00:59:28.804
These are some of the key major problems that the church is wrestling with.
00:59:28.844 --> 00:59:31.030
We just did a podcast on polygamy recently.
00:59:31.891 --> 00:59:33.135
Race of the priesthood, and of course...
00:59:37.186 --> 00:59:39.148
Yeah, that was the last podcast that we did.
00:59:39.690 --> 00:59:41.092
You know, these are some of the big issues.
00:59:41.152 --> 00:59:46.981
And of course, LGBTQ rights are civil rights now, and the church is lost.
00:59:47.061 --> 00:59:49.164
It has no leadership on this, no position on this.
00:59:49.585 --> 00:59:58.860
I think it likes to hide behind obscurity and allows this confusion to happen because It doesn't know how to respond.
00:59:59.320 --> 01:00:00.802
It doesn't know when to respond.
01:00:00.943 --> 01:00:04.467
And it only responds, you know, under media pressure when something comes to light.
01:00:05.088 --> 01:00:08.813
Even then, there's no, you know, Jim mentioned this earlier, there's very little or no apology.
01:00:08.833 --> 01:00:10.193
There's no apology over polygamy.
01:00:10.655 --> 01:00:15.000
There's no apology over the damage that that caused women that we're talking about.
01:00:15.019 --> 01:00:15.942
There's no apology on...
01:00:16.021 --> 01:00:20.646
I mean, what an awful legacy.
01:00:20.708 --> 01:00:21.367
No apology.
01:00:21.809 --> 01:00:25.213
Elder Oaks, I think he said, and Jim's quoted him a few times, he doesn't...
01:00:26.210 --> 01:00:28.751
accept or receive apologies or give apologies.
01:00:28.811 --> 01:00:29.313
Is that right,
01:00:30.574 --> 01:00:31.715
Jim?
01:00:31.894 --> 01:00:35.438
It is the policy of the church not to seek apologies or to give them.
01:00:36.099 --> 01:00:36.318
Right.
01:00:36.719 --> 01:00:38.661
So they have it.
01:00:38.702 --> 01:00:44.047
And of course, there's no apology forthcoming for being on the wrong side of history for LGBTQ.
01:00:44.126 --> 01:00:45.867
It likes to hide behind obscurity.
01:00:45.967 --> 01:00:46.588
It's weakness.
01:00:47.269 --> 01:00:47.909
It's shallow.
01:00:48.010 --> 01:00:48.811
It's cowardly.
01:00:48.851 --> 01:00:50.952
You know, I can't imagine...
01:00:50.972 --> 01:00:51.974
And it's distrustful.
01:00:52.094 --> 01:00:55.978
It's distrustful of its members because they will not...
01:00:56.353 --> 01:01:01.981
engage their members on these issues and explain themselves.
01:01:02.601 --> 01:01:03.523
There's no trust.
01:01:04.222 --> 01:01:04.844
There's no trust.
01:01:05.985 --> 01:01:06.065
Yeah.
01:01:06.085 --> 01:01:07.507
And there's no specifics.
01:01:07.568 --> 01:01:11.012
There's no clear, defined position on things.
01:01:11.092 --> 01:01:14.114
So then people guess, right?
01:01:14.175 --> 01:01:19.101
The leadership is dinosaur leadership.
01:01:19.202 --> 01:01:46.152
It's antiquated, it's backward thinking, it's not keeping up with the more inclusive thinking and loving, increasing loving population of the membership where people, you know, members for the most part are very kind and considerate and thoughtful and respectful and are committed to creating a safe, inclusive experience and space for individuals.
01:01:46.172 --> 01:01:52.188
This leadership is You know, it's just hiding behind obscurity.
01:01:52.628 --> 01:01:58.175
The thing is, you know, we talked about damage to and the hurt to women and wives, polygamy.
01:02:00.117 --> 01:02:15.554
Could you speak just for a moment on what you see as the impact, the personal impact, Sue, on, you know, individuals, LGBTQ individuals and how this is impacting them on a personal level?
01:02:15.934 --> 01:02:17.817
Could you speak to that from your perspective?
01:02:18.458 --> 01:02:22.438
Well, Just from what I've observed, and I have two gay brothers.
01:02:22.579 --> 01:02:23.280
One has died.
01:02:23.300 --> 01:02:43.610
Both of them, I consider their lives destroyed by the church and by the messages they got when they were young that that orientation is depraved and, you know, filthy.
01:02:43.630 --> 01:02:47.775
And, you know, they internalized that.
01:02:48.336 --> 01:02:48.677
And one...
01:02:49.858 --> 01:02:51.420
Died at 29.
01:02:51.460 --> 01:02:56.065
He did not take his life, but he had attempted a few weeks, a few months before.
01:02:56.085 --> 01:02:59.951
And then he died for reasons unrelated.
01:02:59.990 --> 01:03:09.744
And the other one is deep in addiction since he was about 15, 16 and just can't cope.
01:03:10.244 --> 01:03:12.407
And so these are examples.
01:03:12.527 --> 01:03:29.594
I think addiction is one way that a lot of people LGBT members of our church and of all very conservative churches, they suffer terribly because they feel defective.
01:03:29.634 --> 01:03:40.103
And the kids, the teenagers who come out, by the time they come out and say, I don't want to go to church anymore, the damage has already been done.
01:03:40.143 --> 01:03:45.650
They've been absorbing it and trying to figure it out and knowing they can't talk about it.
01:03:46.914 --> 01:03:51.480
And then when they finally come out, it's just like they're done with the church.
01:03:51.599 --> 01:03:52.702
They are done.
01:03:52.722 --> 01:04:01.072
They cannot survive in a system that denies their human, their nature.
01:04:01.112 --> 01:04:06.760
It's just, I have seen despair.
01:04:06.780 --> 01:04:08.442
I have seen suicide.
01:04:08.461 --> 01:04:22.902
I have seen people go from that to acknowledging their and embracing their nature and thriving.
01:04:23.503 --> 01:04:24.945
It's like a light goes on.
01:04:26.126 --> 01:04:39.768
Oh, I can, I don't have to live this way, you know, just with this straight jacket, you know, and this white knuckle living through life alone and not accepted and rejected.
01:04:39.788 --> 01:04:45.512
And they can go from that to, I am, going to embrace who I am.
01:04:45.552 --> 01:04:47.556
That's where the pride comes from.
01:04:47.615 --> 01:04:51.282
People say, well, when are we going to have a pride parade for heterosexual people?
01:04:51.302 --> 01:04:52.143
Well, you don't need one.
01:04:54.126 --> 01:04:56.869
I'm tempted to use the F word, but I'm just stuck.
01:04:57.050 --> 01:05:09.128
But anyway, yeah, they just, I have seen this happen repeatedly where they just, they thrive and the church's teachings about the by their fruits.
01:05:09.289 --> 01:05:33.652
I mean, why don't they look at this and see that the fruits are good of living in consonance with your attractions and your, you know, your, when I say nature, I don't have any belief anymore really about what's, you know, what's in the next life follows from what's here, anything like that.
01:05:33.753 --> 01:05:47.474
So I can't speak to that part, but I, I just, I, get a rush when I see people who acknowledge and embrace who they are and then thrive.
01:05:48.815 --> 01:05:51.579
And it's a beautiful thing to see.
01:05:51.619 --> 01:06:15.105
Well, listening to you and listening to how passionate you are about this, it actually gives me hope because I think there are still people on the inside of the church and even in church leadership who that share that same kind of passion and that recognize the reality here.
01:06:15.465 --> 01:06:19.072
And the rising generation is recognizing the reality here.
01:06:20.014 --> 01:06:40.364
And when I try to find hope, when I get frustrated by all of this, I remember the fact that the most fiery speeches by church leaders that we would never abandon the principle of plural marriage and we will never back down from federal interference and we will...
01:06:41.065 --> 01:06:45.532
I just finished reading American Zion by Benjamin Park.
01:06:46.293 --> 01:06:47.715
Marvelous, marvelous book.
01:06:48.996 --> 01:06:50.697
I would love to get Dr.
01:06:50.737 --> 01:06:52.641
Park on this podcast too, Ian.
01:06:52.681 --> 01:06:53.641
We need to reach out to him.
01:06:54.923 --> 01:06:55.945
But he points...
01:06:56.425 --> 01:06:58.547
He talks about that and points that out.
01:06:59.510 --> 01:06:59.650
And...
01:07:00.449 --> 01:07:06.719
The most fiery speeches about polygamy happened right before the manifesto.
01:07:07.699 --> 01:07:19.356
That, you know, all of the people who can see the future and see the writing on the wall, as the world presses down on them, that's when they flash out the most.
01:07:20.318 --> 01:07:28.090
And I am hopeful that these kind of, because this kind of retrenchment, it's sort of a schizophrenic retrenchment.
01:07:28.929 --> 01:07:48.413
Because it's happening at BYU, and yet you're seeing, when Aaron Sherinian was hired by the church, he was hired and people lost their minds over the fact that he had a social media presence that was very much pro-LGBTQ.
01:07:49.434 --> 01:07:53.278
And he is now the head PR director of the church.
01:07:54.260 --> 01:07:57.864
And I have since asked him, have you gotten in any trouble for any of that?
01:07:57.905 --> 01:07:58.766
And he said, not at all.
01:07:59.746 --> 01:08:11.222
which demonstrates that the church, at least some people in church leadership, recognize that you can be an ally for LGBTQ people and still be considered a faithful member of the church.
01:08:12.043 --> 01:08:13.985
Well, how come he gets to keep his job?
01:08:15.148 --> 01:08:17.730
Well, that's the schizophrenia here.
01:08:18.492 --> 01:08:19.533
Yeah, it's the schizophrenia.
01:08:19.913 --> 01:08:34.432
Because BYU, and particularly Clark Gilbert, I think, here, have sort of created their own little fiefdom here And, you know, you read this article and Clark Gilbert lists the different kinds of professors that need to be gotten rid of.
01:08:34.453 --> 01:08:44.826
I think it's remarkable that Peggy Fletcher Stack went in there and said at a dinner to prominent church leaders and thought, great investigative journalism here.
01:08:45.146 --> 01:08:45.367
Yep.
01:08:45.627 --> 01:08:46.908
We're able to capture that.
01:08:48.170 --> 01:08:51.635
But you have people who say, not on my watch.
01:08:51.715 --> 01:08:53.837
You know, we're going to we're going to do this.
01:08:54.497 --> 01:09:06.829
And I'm reminded of the words of Joseph Smith, as well might man stretch forth his puny arm to stop the Mississippi River from flowing, or whatever it is.
01:09:08.850 --> 01:09:13.935
You know, will we be able to keep the Lord from pouring down knowledge on the heads of the Latter-day Saints?
01:09:15.056 --> 01:09:24.365
And I think you have a lot of people stretching out their arm to try to stop the kind of inclusion that I believe is absolutely inevitable.
01:09:25.185 --> 01:09:27.250
Whether you like it or not, the church is not
01:09:28.972 --> 01:09:29.412
good.
01:09:29.453 --> 01:09:30.676
It's good.
01:09:30.716 --> 01:09:31.657
It's necessary.
01:09:31.676 --> 01:09:36.064
It's what Jesus would do, in my opinion.
01:09:36.085 --> 01:09:37.226
Oh, no,
01:09:37.828 --> 01:09:39.149
and I agree with you.
01:09:39.872 --> 01:09:44.019
And I get criticized because it's like, well, you're telling the church what to do.
01:09:44.038 --> 01:09:50.069
And it's like, I have never, I mean, I know where that line is, too, even as a member of the church.
01:09:50.850 --> 01:10:01.006
not a BYU faculty member, but I am a member of the Tabernacle Choir, I have never and never will say the church needs to do this.
01:10:01.146 --> 01:10:03.511
The church needs to perform same-sex ceilings.
01:10:04.011 --> 01:10:05.012
No, I will.
01:10:05.673 --> 01:10:12.345
Well, and I understand that, and you're not operating within the same lines that I am at the
01:10:12.364 --> 01:10:12.626
moment.
01:10:12.645 --> 01:10:13.466
I know, I know.
01:10:14.609 --> 01:10:20.600
But what I will say is that I welcome further light and knowledge.
01:10:20.701 --> 01:10:24.305
We are a church that is built on a principle of continuing revelation.
01:10:25.167 --> 01:10:29.993
We should expect and yearn for further light and knowledge.
01:10:30.533 --> 01:10:34.779
And I will leave it to the Lord to define what that light and knowledge looks like.
01:10:35.619 --> 01:10:46.793
And I am confident, as you are, that Jesus and our Heavenly Father have infinite love for all of their children.
01:10:47.489 --> 01:10:54.963
including their LGBTQ children, who we now acknowledge are made that way by their Heavenly Father.
01:10:55.043 --> 01:10:59.171
They do not sort of choose this sort of, to use Spencer W.
01:10:59.211 --> 01:11:03.298
Kimball's word, perversion, but rather this is who they are.
01:11:03.319 --> 01:11:11.413
And if this is who God made them to be, then I believe God must have some kind of righteous purpose for that.
01:11:12.130 --> 01:11:17.737
The idea that this is who I made you, and yet there is absolutely no way I want you to express that.
01:11:18.398 --> 01:11:21.480
I want you to be somebody else other than who I made you.
01:11:21.521 --> 01:11:41.326
And the reason why I think the rising generation won't stand for it, too, is that I was told, and I believed, I genuinely believe this, I was told over and over again, if same-sex marriage were to become legal, then it would erode the foundations of civilization.
01:11:42.177 --> 01:11:45.141
that traditional marriage would be under threat.
01:11:45.903 --> 01:11:51.970
President Oaks is on record as saying that if this would happen, it would end the human race within a generation.
01:11:52.310 --> 01:11:52.551
Right.
01:11:53.252 --> 01:11:56.536
Because apparently everybody will somehow choose to be gay, I guess.
01:11:57.095 --> 01:12:01.341
Well, and the truth is that heterosexuals ruined marriage long ago.
01:12:01.381 --> 01:12:07.007
Well, we've had some problems with marriage in the heterosexual community.
01:12:07.047 --> 01:12:08.189
There's no doubt about that.
01:12:08.898 --> 01:12:16.046
But what's happened now is that all of that scaremongering now looks ridiculous.
01:12:16.387 --> 01:12:27.542
Now that same-sex marriage is legal and the sky has not fallen and heterosexuality has not disappeared and doesn't seem to be in any danger of disappearing.
01:12:28.283 --> 01:12:31.306
So that kind of scaremongering doesn't work on my children.
01:12:32.068 --> 01:12:36.613
You can't tell them, geez, same-sex marriage is going to destroy the foundations of civilization.
01:12:37.154 --> 01:12:41.239
Well, I go, you know, I wake up in the morning and civilization's still there.
01:12:41.260 --> 01:12:51.015
And it's just the church, it's not even a question of what it wants to or doesn't want to do.
01:12:51.556 --> 01:12:56.123
It's a question of the, it's a reality that they no longer have any choice.
01:12:57.225 --> 01:13:06.050
Reality is pressing down and eventually, you know, we can't, pick up one side of the stick and not pick up the other side of the stick.
01:13:06.130 --> 01:13:09.194
We can't say, okay, you didn't choose to be gay.
01:13:09.213 --> 01:13:12.738
Okay, we were wrong when we said you could pray the gay away.
01:13:12.778 --> 01:13:14.038
Okay, all that.
01:13:14.158 --> 01:13:21.648
But all of the policies that applied back then when we thought all those things that are not true, those policies still apply.
01:13:22.229 --> 01:13:26.474
We either have to go full on back into the Boyd K.
01:13:26.514 --> 01:13:27.654
Packer, Spencer W.
01:13:27.694 --> 01:13:34.350
Kimball, miracle of forgiveness days, Or we have to accept the reality and go forward to inclusion.
01:13:34.951 --> 01:13:36.792
And I just don't think the church has any choice.
01:13:37.313 --> 01:13:38.354
I don't know when it will happen.
01:13:38.373 --> 01:13:40.457
I don't know how it will happen.
01:13:41.478 --> 01:13:45.402
But I am increasingly confident that it will happen because it has to
01:13:45.442 --> 01:13:47.805
happen.
01:13:48.905 --> 01:13:59.797
Can I say that prophets, seers, and revelators, their challenge is to transcend their conditioning to hear the voice of God.
01:14:01.474 --> 01:14:04.717
And they're not doing that right now.
01:14:04.757 --> 01:14:07.662
They are not transcending their conditioning.
01:14:07.742 --> 01:14:30.131
They're letting their conditioning keep the church within these walls that are anti-expansion of the heart and the goodness and the inclusiveness that the church could have and could be and will be, as you're saying.
01:14:32.033 --> 01:14:49.150
you know, they could do it sooner if they would let their prophetic abilities help them transcend and ask the questions and, you know, that will lead to transcending their conditioning.
01:14:49.171 --> 01:14:58.960
And I'm, you know, I'm sure I'm not transcending my conditioning in many ways, but I'm not a prophet and I don't say I speak for God.
01:15:00.020 --> 01:15:00.261
So...
01:15:01.666 --> 01:15:03.712
Ian, are you transcending your conditioning?
01:15:03.752 --> 01:15:08.203
From the church perspective, I think I'm going to outer darkness.
01:15:10.109 --> 01:15:17.850
I'm worse because, you know, for an apostate, somebody who the church thinks is abandoned, you know, which I haven't really.
01:15:17.911 --> 01:15:22.157
I've not abandoned the universal principles of love and Christ and kindness and service.
01:15:22.917 --> 01:15:31.350
By any means, I feel much more transcendent, if you like, in regards to my life and those principles and values and standards, etc.
01:15:31.952 --> 01:15:32.853
I'm less judgmental.
01:15:33.033 --> 01:15:34.114
I'm much more inclusive.
01:15:34.135 --> 01:15:38.962
I feel humbled to be on the right side of history, Sue, like you are.
01:15:40.002 --> 01:15:41.604
And I believe you are, Jim.
01:15:42.605 --> 01:15:44.630
You know, you have your own perspectives.
01:15:45.190 --> 01:15:47.555
I think the church is very much on the wrong side of history.
01:15:47.734 --> 01:15:50.099
And I think it will change.
01:15:51.041 --> 01:15:56.029
They can't stop that great force, you know, coming.
01:15:56.489 --> 01:15:57.292
You can't stop that.
01:15:57.332 --> 01:15:57.932
It will change.
01:15:58.332 --> 01:16:00.216
The pace of change is...
01:16:01.122 --> 01:16:03.164
Frustrating, for sure, but I believe it will happen.
01:16:03.765 --> 01:16:09.054
No, I think the church, from my perspective, the church has disowned me, really.
01:16:09.095 --> 01:16:11.939
No one has any contact with me.
01:16:11.958 --> 01:16:14.323
I think the church sees me as a complete apostate.
01:16:15.864 --> 01:16:18.088
And I'm okay with that.
01:16:18.548 --> 01:16:23.256
Yeah, you mentioned earlier, Sue, that you feel there's a sense of liberation, of freedom.
01:16:24.177 --> 01:16:28.204
And I feel, and I'm sure you feel the same way, Sue, authentic.
01:16:28.425 --> 01:16:28.945
I could be me.
01:16:29.314 --> 01:16:34.760
I don't have to play these silly games and believe stuff and accept stuff that I think is complete bullshit, frankly.
01:16:35.340 --> 01:16:36.400
So, you know, I could be me.
01:16:36.440 --> 01:16:37.282
I could think freely.
01:16:37.301 --> 01:16:39.283
You know, when I went to church, it wasn't safe.
01:16:39.363 --> 01:16:40.125
I had questions.
01:16:41.225 --> 01:16:44.529
I was on the state presidency, by the way.
01:16:44.548 --> 01:16:52.176
And so here I am, you know, this pesky council on the state presidency, asking these difficult questions and was shut down.
01:16:52.497 --> 01:16:54.538
And it was very frustrating and I didn't feel safe.
01:16:55.220 --> 01:16:55.980
And I felt quite...
01:16:57.217 --> 01:16:58.921
It was quite an intimidating experience for me.
01:16:58.961 --> 01:17:01.404
But now I feel liberated, free.
01:17:01.484 --> 01:17:02.085
I can be me.
01:17:02.164 --> 01:17:03.006
I can think and feel.
01:17:03.087 --> 01:17:04.970
I can do what I think is right.
01:17:05.449 --> 01:17:16.747
And I think the key, I think that the, in Elder Oaks, when he interviewed me and the other counselors, he asked us, you know, how do we want to be remembered?
01:17:16.868 --> 01:17:19.331
So this is when we were called into a new state presidency.
01:17:19.931 --> 01:17:27.407
Of course, he was speaking as, you know, in the context of coming into the presidency, serving, committing to the, you know, to the church and leadership, etc.
01:17:27.426 --> 01:17:31.112
He was speaking about how we want to be remembered as a presidency.
01:17:31.672 --> 01:17:35.158
But I now look at that and I think, well, how do I want to be remembered?
01:17:35.398 --> 01:17:39.604
You know, people around me, people that love me, respect me, hopefully.
01:17:39.663 --> 01:17:46.512
And I want to be remembered for doing the right thing and being inclusive and kind and loving and doing what Christ would do.
01:17:46.552 --> 01:17:54.336
You said earlier that Christ wouldn't behave like this, that the brethren are not, in certain things, Not everything.
01:17:54.636 --> 01:17:56.020
I think they're in tune on lots of things.
01:17:56.100 --> 01:17:56.902
I think they do a lot of good.
01:17:58.166 --> 01:17:58.646
I really do.
01:17:58.747 --> 01:18:04.121
We say on the podcast, the church, when it gets it right, is amazing.
01:18:04.161 --> 01:18:18.988
There's no organization out there that has the power and the resources and the impact when the church is doing the right thing and blessing, you know, millions of lives across the world.
01:18:19.788 --> 01:18:28.301
When it gets it wrong, like it has in this case, I think it's very lost and it's very confused and it lacks leadership and they're not going to the Lord with these questions.
01:18:29.064 --> 01:18:37.224
I think if Christ was here, it would be, you know, I can't speak for him, of course, but I think he'd have a different position.
01:18:37.264 --> 01:18:39.688
He's kind, loving, and inclusive.
01:18:39.747 --> 01:18:41.150
He wouldn't behave like this, for sure.
01:18:41.992 --> 01:18:49.122
I know we've got to close here, but I just want to express my gratitude to you.
01:18:49.144 --> 01:18:55.853
I know we've just met on this podcast conversation, but How incredibly humbling it is to meet with you.
01:18:56.332 --> 01:19:02.220
And I'm so sorry for the hurt and pain that you're going through and the impact this has had on your life.
01:19:02.260 --> 01:19:03.180
I'm so sorry about that.
01:19:03.541 --> 01:19:08.506
But I want to commend you, if I may, for your courage and your bravery and your integrity.
01:19:08.886 --> 01:19:10.167
Because that's how we're remembered.
01:19:10.247 --> 01:19:12.610
We're remembered, Jim, for our integrity.
01:19:13.070 --> 01:19:15.293
We're remembered for how we make people feel.
01:19:15.333 --> 01:19:19.097
And we're remembered for building people up.
01:19:20.225 --> 01:19:22.248
and supporting and loving people.
01:19:22.309 --> 01:19:23.490
That's how we're remembered.
01:19:23.931 --> 01:19:30.421
And so that is my response to Elder Oaks is how do I want to be remembered?
01:19:30.962 --> 01:19:38.833
Well, that's how I want to be remembered for doing the right thing, being on the right side of history and being kind and loving and inclusive.
01:19:39.333 --> 01:19:40.735
That's how I want to be remembered.
01:19:41.457 --> 01:19:46.805
Elder Oaks didn't for one second think that I would take this direction in my life.
01:19:47.521 --> 01:19:51.527
He was speaking for the New York State Presidency.
01:19:51.567 --> 01:19:52.568
How would he be remembered there?
01:19:52.729 --> 01:19:54.650
But I am hopeful.
01:19:54.911 --> 01:19:56.512
I agree with you both.
01:19:57.274 --> 01:20:00.018
If you are saying that the church will change, I think it will change.
01:20:00.057 --> 01:20:00.918
It continues to change.
01:20:01.338 --> 01:20:02.461
Will it change under pressure?
01:20:02.621 --> 01:20:02.860
Yeah.
01:20:03.060 --> 01:20:08.167
Will it take lots of other media pressure and other people like those talking on the podcast to change it?
01:20:08.328 --> 01:20:08.528
Yeah.
01:20:08.849 --> 01:20:09.429
And that's great.
01:20:09.488 --> 01:20:14.935
Whatever change, whatever direction that change comes from, that's probably not important.
01:20:15.596 --> 01:20:16.137
Or it might be.
01:20:16.578 --> 01:20:17.739
I just believe it will change.
01:20:17.779 --> 01:20:18.439
It will happen.
01:20:19.261 --> 01:20:29.534
And I think that maybe Oaks and maybe others maybe have to lead this planet before those changes take place.
01:20:29.875 --> 01:20:31.157
But I believe it will happen.
01:20:31.877 --> 01:20:35.162
And more progressive, moderate thinking will come through in the next 5, 10 years.
01:20:35.662 --> 01:20:42.972
And eventually, we'll have a more inclusive curriculum for LGBTQ people and people, hopefully, you know, who are...
01:20:44.481 --> 01:21:02.500
naturally and want to be themselves naturally can go to BYU and talk openly about who they are and their identity and feel safe and secure and loved and included and faculty and teachers and lecturers will feel the same way.
01:21:02.539 --> 01:21:06.744
I'm still astonished that the church maintained its status.
01:21:06.845 --> 01:21:10.868
I think it's at 109 right now, but I just think it will continue to slip.
01:21:11.189 --> 01:21:23.559
And at some point, This will reflect in the status of the BYU, the numbers, and the church will be forced, kicking and screaming, whatever it takes, to be much more inclusive.
01:21:23.679 --> 01:21:28.707
So they're my, I know we're almost out of time here, but they're my concluding thoughts.
01:21:28.726 --> 01:21:37.500
But thank you so much for coming onto the podcast and sharing your thoughts, being so brave and so courageous, for being so authentic and having so much integrity.
01:21:38.881 --> 01:21:39.283
Thank you.
01:21:39.363 --> 01:21:40.304
Thank you, Ian.
01:21:40.364 --> 01:21:42.287
Thank you for those kind words.
01:21:42.929 --> 01:21:43.529
They mean a lot.
01:21:46.074 --> 01:21:51.203
Well, I'm going to summarize my little position here.
01:21:51.243 --> 01:21:54.068
And then, Sue, I want to give you the last word.
01:21:54.109 --> 01:22:01.681
And I want you to be able to say anything that you wanted to say but may not have been able to say so far.
01:22:02.434 --> 01:22:07.137
But I want to join Ian in commending you for being willing to share all this with us.
01:22:07.958 --> 01:22:10.261
I really appreciate the opportunity to visit with you.
01:22:10.421 --> 01:22:22.453
I have admired you for many years and have known you to be a person of integrity, and I'm very grateful that you are standing up for what you believe here.
01:22:23.533 --> 01:22:39.577
As I sit and listen to both of you talk about where the church is in terms of what side of history the church is on, I recognize very much that I am the only one of the three of us that actively continues to participate in the church.
01:22:40.677 --> 01:22:57.275
And I recognize that, you know, I have reached a place where I recognize that church leaders, I really have confidence that church leaders are good people, are well-intentioned people.
01:22:58.778 --> 01:23:04.869
And but they're also people with the same kind of weaknesses that I have and that anybody else has.
01:23:05.591 --> 01:23:32.259
And they are people who, as much as we want them to be able to transcend their own biases and their own backgrounds and all of the things that would be necessary for men of the 90 and 100-year-old men to sort of transcend a lifetime of what they have believed and been taught, I recognize that all of us continue to have agency.
01:23:32.279 --> 01:23:35.301
All of us continue to struggle with that.
01:23:35.381 --> 01:23:45.631
And that really is really at the heart of the mortal struggle is to be able to rise to the divine, even as we have to transcend all of these kinds of things.
01:23:47.033 --> 01:23:55.582
So in saying that, I try to give church leaders as much grace as I hope they will give me, as I hope the Lord will give me.
01:23:56.449 --> 01:24:01.155
and try to have patience with them as they have patience with me.
01:24:01.195 --> 01:24:18.136
But like Ian, I would like to see changes come far more quickly, but I also have confidence that because these are good men, because the hand of God remains in this church, that eventually we're going to get where we need to be.
01:24:18.157 --> 01:24:20.340
I don't know how long it will take.
01:24:21.481 --> 01:24:29.835
I do know that, at least in my personal experience, The Lord wants me to stay for as long as it takes.
01:24:30.336 --> 01:24:37.965
And if it doesn't happen in my lifetime, that's something that I have come to accept and recognize that this is still where the Lord wants me.
01:24:38.005 --> 01:24:47.536
And I also recognize that other people do not feel that same kind of call to stay and other people feel called to leave.
01:24:48.396 --> 01:24:52.601
And it is not my place to determine anybody else's journey.
01:24:53.282 --> 01:24:55.787
or to cast any judgment on anybody else's journey.
01:24:56.868 --> 01:25:11.595
And I certainly recognize that many good, decent, wonderful people feel they can no longer stay because of these kinds of issues, because the church is not moving as quickly as it needs to.
01:25:11.636 --> 01:25:22.231
And I am just grateful that people of integrity in and out of the church are continuing to talk about these sorts of things and raise them.
01:25:22.412 --> 01:25:28.520
And I think, Sue, particularly your voice is just so essential in this conversation.
01:25:28.701 --> 01:25:32.646
And I am so grateful to you for being willing to participate in it.
01:25:33.368 --> 01:25:37.073
So with that, can you give us your final words of wisdom?
01:25:37.094 --> 01:25:41.139
Yeah, I want to go back to the article for a moment.
01:25:41.220 --> 01:25:53.439
And that is, you know, Taylor Petrie or Petrie, I'm not sure how he says it, You know, he talks about this retrenchment as being a, and I have the article in front of me, it's a classic purity campaign.
01:25:54.521 --> 01:25:56.965
And purity campaigns are always dangerous.
01:25:57.725 --> 01:26:09.141
He says they brood out undesirable people and ideas in order to create homogeneity, but they create division, stifle thought, and prioritize fear over faith.
01:26:10.224 --> 01:26:13.268
And I think he just says it beautifully, and I...
01:26:14.721 --> 01:26:20.792
hate that this is happening, but this is what is happening in my view.
01:26:21.351 --> 01:26:42.685
And then at the end of the article, Peggy Fletcher Stack, the writer, the journalist, the Pulitzer Prize winner, the wonderful, incredible journalist, she says the problem BYU faculty members are confronting is what makes someone happy?
01:26:42.945 --> 01:26:45.569
a true disciple and who gets to decide?
01:26:45.588 --> 01:26:51.076
And my answer is, for me, I get to decide what makes me a true disciple.
01:26:51.657 --> 01:27:04.092
And for me, that is, I am a true disciple of trying to be my best to be loving and caring and inclusive, all the words that Ian said.
01:27:04.412 --> 01:27:09.819
And I don't know any other way.
01:27:12.930 --> 01:27:14.011
That's the way forward.
01:27:16.555 --> 01:27:16.954
Amen.
01:27:16.996 --> 01:27:18.957
And thank you for sharing that with us.
01:27:19.798 --> 01:27:25.247
Again, I can't thank you enough for coming on, for sharing this with us.
01:27:26.307 --> 01:27:29.351
Hopefully this discussion will soften some hearts.
01:27:30.354 --> 01:27:34.840
Hopefully this discussion will shed some light on the black box.
01:27:35.801 --> 01:27:39.206
And hopefully we will see change sooner rather than later.
01:27:40.130 --> 01:27:41.591
So thank you very much.
01:27:42.052 --> 01:27:43.154
Ian, thank you very much.
01:27:43.735 --> 01:27:44.516
Any final words?
01:27:44.757 --> 01:27:46.079
Any parting thoughts, Ian?
01:27:46.399 --> 01:27:49.444
Just want to thank you, Jim, and a special thank you to you, Sue.
01:27:49.484 --> 01:27:51.729
Thank you to both of you, too.
01:27:51.809 --> 01:27:54.654
Thank you, Ian and Mr.
01:27:54.713 --> 01:27:55.095
Bennett.
01:27:57.278 --> 01:27:57.759
Thank you.
01:27:57.878 --> 01:27:59.462
And thank you to all of you listening.
01:27:59.681 --> 01:28:01.865
And we look forward to seeing you next time on Inside Out.
01:28:01.886 --> 01:28:02.606
Inside Out.