Professional Matchmaker: Why Dating Feels So Hard Right Now For Black Women

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CC Costin and Brianna Pontate Smith, and our goal is
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that you leave each episode feeling encouraged, confident, and equipped
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to make real changes that result in the best version
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of you. So get comfy and let's dive in. Because
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this journey is for the girls. Hey, girls, it's free
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and CC and your tune into for their else. Today's
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guest is Oh she is Many things that mean A
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tech founder the matchmaker. When I say the matchmaker, I
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haven't met a better one. Okay, the CEO and founder
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of Karpe DM, so without for their do let me
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introduce in NASA.
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I'm so excited to be here.
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We're so excited to have you here.
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Yeah, I mean, so you're honestly the only matchmaker I
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know in real life, so too yeah, you too know.
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Yeah, I mean y'all are just the.
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Best default or I'm actually you know, now that we
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think about it that way, I plead the fifth.
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At No, I'm excited because we are really.
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Wanting to dive into like the science of dating, especially
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in the black community. And you have the data, you know,
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to back up everything that you're going to talk about today.
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So we're really excited.
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But first, can you just share with us how you
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even got into the matchmaking world.
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I was on the streets with y'all amongst we walk
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among you, right, and so I'm an attorney. I went
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to Howard Law I was living in working in DC.
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I was working for a government agency, and I was
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just like I was on my mission to find my
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man and get my ring and all that, and so
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I was using all the existing dating apps. So think
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of an app. I was probably using it or tried it,
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and I was going on really good dates, like with
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guys that were nice, but they weren't like my guy, right,
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And I just feel like the dating apps did it
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was like a wow, wow West, there was no way
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for you to kind of vet like who you should
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actually invest your time with to like go on a date.
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And I was like, this is just crazy. And I
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would talk to my girlfriends and they would all be
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saying the same thing. So, you know, we're at brunch
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and they're like, yeah, I had this crazy date or
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I don't know where to meet men or this is
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and these are like lawyers, doctors, engineers, like you know, amazing,
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amazing black women. And I'm like, if it's this hard
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for us, like it has to be you know, hard
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for everyone, right. So I was like, I'm going to
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try a matchmaker. So I went in to like research mode,
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and I realized that there really wasn't matchmakers out there
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for black women, and even some of the existing sites
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that you may know I've heard about, they would actually
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turn black women away. Wait what yeah yeah, And we
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still hear this to this day with CARPADM like somebody
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will interview and they'd be like, yeah, I tried this site,
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they turn me away, or they want to charge me
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three times with they're charging other people, or I paid
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and like it was a complete bus Like I didn't
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get any matches. And so, in realizing what was out
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in the landscape, I was like, how hard could it
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be to like create something for us. I didn't that's
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naiva te y'all, that's you need a little bit of that.
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A little bit of Naiva Ta and Daoul say will
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take you a very long way. And so I was like, oh,
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I want to create something for us, right that is
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really designed to help us find the relationships that we're
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looking for. And that was really like the impetus of
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carpadm Wow.
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I mean I we were talking a little bit right
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before we started shooting. I have so many girlfriends who
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are also lawyers and doctors who are single, and they're
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now in their latter thirties, approaching forty, and it's the
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same story. It's like they've tried the dating apps, they've
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tried just going out there in the wild, and they've
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been on a few okay dates, but nothing that sticks.
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And these are a fantastic women, I mean extremely successful,
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highly educated, beautiful, and it's like, why haven't Why hasn't
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he found you? And I know it's like I don't
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know if they know about carpt Dingham, but they need
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to and I will make sure that I spread the word.
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But you know, it's beautiful to hear that you saw
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that there was a void and the fact that beautiful,
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intelligent black women were not really being represented in this area,
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and that you are actively doing something to fill that void.
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So tell us a little bit more about CAR and
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the science behind it. I think the our girls want
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to know, like, okay, a matchmaker, but like what does
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that look What does that look like for me? Like
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how how will you you know, like find me love
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where like this other app couldn't.
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What is different?
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Yeah, it's if you think about like how we need
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help in various aspects of our life and we we
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readily accept that, right. We readily accept that we may
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need a personal trainer. We readily accept that we may
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need a cleaning person to like help us. We readily
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accept that we may need a personal assistant to help
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us juggle how busy our lives are. But for some reason,
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there's like pushback on the concept that you may need
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help finding love or finding a partner. And I think
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it's because we have We're all Disney princesses. We all
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grew up on like the fairy tale of like, oh,
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you're just gonna meet the person, it's gonna everything's gonna
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fall in line, and it's gonna be happily ever after.
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And that's not really the case. And unlike our culture,
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meaning Black American culture, other cultures have deep roots in matchmaking, right,
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Like it's very common, it's still very it still occurs
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a lot like matchmaking, people being hooked up by your family,
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and we, for various issues in history, don't really have
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that nexus. And so for me, I really thought about it,
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and I'm like, why does why why is it so popular?
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And I'll just give a little anecdote. I lived in
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China for a year and so I was in Shanghai.
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We were me and my friends were walking through a
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park and we walked through this like tunnel and it's
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like this huge long tunnel and like when you look around,
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there are like personal ads like up in the tunnel.
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So it would be like your beautiful face see and
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you have like little information about you and the moms.
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The moms put their children personal ads in the tunnel,
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and it's like this long tunnel with all these ads,
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and then the other moms come and they look at
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the ad that the moms have put up, and then
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they can decide whether they want to actually match their children.
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And so they'll talk about how good their family is
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from coming from. And so that's just an aengo about
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how matchmaking is occurring, like in so many different cultures
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and it's so widely accepted, but it's just not as
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accepted within our culture. And so for me, it's about
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having someone on your side that's kind of doing the
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work while you're also still doing the work. Right, Like,
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just because you hire me as a matchmaker doesn't mean
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you like go into a cave and like you don't
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still live your life, you don't do it. Yeah, yeah,
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Like you still have to go out live your life,
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you still take your trips, you still you know, engage
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with people that you meet in real life. You just
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have an extra person helping you who kind of has
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your back and is like actively searching for people for you, right,
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And so that's why I think it's really important in
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like a great investment for people who have the means
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to do so, because that's our full time job. We
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literally think about our members all the time and like
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that's our only real job is to really see them
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find the meaningful relationship that they are looking for.
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You know, it's funny because out of our friends, I
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think they all would call me a matchmaker. I have
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a zero success us right with my friends.
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Calls herself.
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You guys say that.
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Yeah, Like when I think about that tunnel, I'm like,
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there's nothing to be ashamed of, Like what is what
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is there? Or why is there shame attached to putting
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yourself out there or saying like these are my credentials
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and who I am as a person and someone else
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being like, you know what, this might make sense for
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this person that I know. So when I'm out and
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I meet people, I'm happily married. If a man is
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in my space and we're having conversation, I'm like, he's intelligent,
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he's attractive, Oh oh he doesn't have kids.
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And how he's how old?
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Why would I not say that I have single friends
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because I'm like, worst worst thing that can happen is
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that it doesn't work out right? But what if I
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tried to set up my friends a hundred times and
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it results in one happy marriage. Like so for me,
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I'm like when people because our friends get mad at me,
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they'll be like brain no, And I'm like, you have
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no idea if I'm going to be the person who
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connects you to your person and just let it be.
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Like yeah, go on the date.
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Yeah late.
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I'm a fan of that. And it's funny. When I
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was in law school, I had a really good friend
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that I knew from high school, and like, so we
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were friends in high school, we're friends in college, and
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he would come up to visit me in law school
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and there was another girl in my law school class,
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and I was like, I really feel like Chris and
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you guys should meet. We arranged this so that they
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can meet on this like date book's like all of
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us are kind of going out. So it's like ye's pressure.
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Yeah.
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They literally left the bar together and a year and
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a half later, we're married, have multiple kids. I was like,
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was at the wedding they thank me as their matchmaker?
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This was pre dated. Yeah, So I have that same
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spirit where it's like why not and like you should
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be kind of looking around and looking out right, because
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you're not just doing your friend a favor, you're doing
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that single the other single person a favor too, right,
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So it's all just about bringing people together exactly.
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And you know, I think too, I think maybe my
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vision on it is a little skewed because I was
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set up with my husband, like a friend hit me
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up and was like so weird, but like, I think
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I met your husband.
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I'm pretty sure God said this is your husband.
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And she had no shame in that, and I thought
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she was cuckoo and lulu and I was like, girl,
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I have a whole man. I live states away, but
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look at us now, he is my husband. And so
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I think, like I am a am living proof that
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like setting people up does work and can result in
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something that is just beyond what you even think you
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could have. Like I love my husband, I love my life,
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but I would not have that had my friend not
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have been like, you know what, let me pick up
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the phone and be like, hey, I think this person
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is a good fit for you. So I want to
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jump over to this question because one thing we have
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seen with just relationship restored and being a part of
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different panels or different like speed dating events. We all
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see this that anything related to relationship and love, we're
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getting like a ninety percent female rate to.
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A ten percent male attendance rate.
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And it is it's it's hard to watch, right, especially
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when you're someone who is in a relationship, because you're like,
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I know that my girls have been here, are looking,
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and the chances of them leaving with what they came
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here for is so much slimmer because it's it's ten
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to the ninety. Yeah, So what have you seen with
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matchmaking in regards to like, you know, do you have
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more women who are coming for the service versus men?
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And for the women who come to.
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The service, how are you guys affected by the amount
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of men that aren't openly like saying hey pick me,
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I'm looking for love.
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Yeah, that's a great question, and it's so true. It's
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it's viscerally felt, right, And like, we host events, we
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host speed dating and like, so we know the numbers
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and the odds, and so for Carpet DM, it's really
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important for us to keep a really good ratio of
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men to women on our platform. And so because we're
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a member only community and you have to apply and
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be accepted in order to join. We're able to control
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like the ratio of men to women on the platform
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so that it does provide the best experience that we
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can when it comes to matchmaking women, because that's really
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our core clientele, right, is like the black women who join,
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Like in reality, you're talking about six seven to one, right,
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Like that's the streets right like, and it's so true
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and just the small piece of advice because we've done
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this before, Like we host speed dating events and say
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that we do an intimate one, right, forty people, So
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twenty women twenty guys will control it, right, We won't.
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We definitely won't be having anything where it's like, you know,
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thirty or forty women show up and there's seven guys.
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Yeah.
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But so but even then when we're doing you know,
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really controlled setting, you know they'll be maybe the day
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of right, like twenty women will show up and maybe
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sixteen guys show up, right, because four people will drop out.
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Despite us like trying to curate, women complain no matter
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what they complain, no matter what the situation is. And
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so I always try to advise women to like take
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control of what you can take control of, right, And
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what other scenario do you go to a place in
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sixteen vetted qualified relationship ready men sit across from you
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in a row to have a conversation, but your mind
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is focused on, well, there's twenty women here and there's
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only six, right, Like it's kind of like you can control,
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you can control for that, right. And even when you
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go into a space and you were like, dang, there's
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there's you know, fifty women here and there's only fifteen guys. Well,
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you don't need fifteen guys, you need one guy. Yeah, right,
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So all you need to do is look through the
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crowd and see is there anyone here that you feel
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like you want to make it clear that you're open
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to being approached to, right, And if there is, figure
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out how you get in front of that person, how,
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you know, make it known that you're open for him
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to approach you or have a conversation. And that could
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be you sparking up a conversation, not putting yourself out
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there for ejection, but sparking up a conversation or just
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doing the things that women who have good flirting skills
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right know how to do in order to get that
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guy to kind of approach. So don't think about the
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odds because the odds aren't great, right, I'm sorry. I
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can't change that for anybody. You just have to think
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about do you have the skill set are you are
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you bringing to the situation what you need to bring
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to be able to attract the partner that you're looking for,
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and is there anybody in the space that you feel like, Hey,
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i'd be remiss if I left this event and I
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didn't at least, you know, make it clear to him that, like,
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he's somebody that I would be open to talking to.
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Do you feel like those are some of the unique
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challenges that black women are facing that they're already disqualifying
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themselves as far as like trying to find a suitable partner.
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I think that women in general, and I'll speak to
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black women because I don't work with other women, so
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I don't know what they'd be doing. But like women
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in general, we have a sense of, well, he needs
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to come to me, like I'm here, I'm sitting I'm
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sitting here, and I'm here, so if he really liked me,
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he's gonna come up to me. I'm sorry, that's not
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I mean, that's not the way that works.
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Right.
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Men have more options, and it's not just that. But
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men I like to be rejected either, right, So as
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much as you don't want to put yourself out there
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to face rejection, men are tired of being rejected. And
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I'm not saying that's for good or for bad. I'm
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just saying that that is reality. And so if you
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are gorgeous, right, he may come over. If you are attractive,
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but then you're in a room full of the other
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I'm sorry, if you're in DC, you're in a room
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of fifty other bad. Yeah, So it's not You're not
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like unique in the sense of there are so many
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beautiful women and accomplished women. So in that situation, who's
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gonna catch his attention? The person that, you know, Hey,
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what are you drinking? Is that whiskey?
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Yeah?
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What is that? Right? Like, Oh, hey, can you just
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you know, can you hold this form me while I
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like hop up on this stool. That person or the
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person that just looks at him from across the room
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and he's so fine. I really hope he comes and
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talks to me, right, Like, just.
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We just talked about this about how there's this sense
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of like almost ego that goes into especially when you
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are an attractive or a well established woman in bigger cities,
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you go to these bars and you're like, well, I
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go to a bar and there's men in the bar,
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and I sit in my stool and no one comes.
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Up to me.
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And it's like, well, have you ever thought that the
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same way that you're expecting someone to come to you,
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maybe a man is intimidated to come to you, especially
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when you are surrounded by other friends, or maybe you're
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mid conversation with somebody else, or you just never know.
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And so Dre talks about it all the time that
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all you have to do is just crack.
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The door open.
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If you just crack it open, if he knows it's open,
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he will bust that door down.
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If he's interested, Yes, if he's interested.
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And I think so many times girls just assume that
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because they look a certain way, or because they're given
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certain energy, because the hair was done just right, makeups,
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that it's like, oh, well they should come to me,
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and it's really goofy. It's like at the same time
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that you're a beautiful woman. If a man had to
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choose between the person at the bar who made them
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laugh and crack some jokes and they got to meet
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and learn a little bit versus the beautiful woman sitting
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at the end of the.
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Bar who didn't say anything.
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Who do you think that they would rather have a
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conversation with. So it's not all about looks, and it
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shouldn't be, you know.
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So, oh, I love that.
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I want to ask you because when it comes to
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just dating in general, right, everyone has their own experiences,
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and our experiences are skewed by our surroundings where we live,
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what we've seen, our family or our friends do. What
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do you feel like is one of the biggest misconceptions
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about matchmaking.
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That we like have a factory in the back and
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that yeah, like a inventory. Yeah, like once you give
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us your payment, like we're like, oh, we've been waiting
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for you to he's been paying out back there, and
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build a way for you to pay us, right and
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like and then we just like wheel them out Like
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that's that's a misconception. And I tell people all the time, like,
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we have access to the same quality of guys that
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you have access to on a daily basis. It's just
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that you're living your life and it may not be
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top of your mind at all time to be trying
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to interact with men and that's a difference between men
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and women because men, from you know, all the conversations
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I've had with them, they they take any opportunity, like
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when they leave the house, it's an opportunity to meet someone.
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Yeah.
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Right, we have the mindset of like, no, I went
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to the bar and I sat down and I was dressed,
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and that was the opportunity for the guy to come
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talk to me. I'm like, well, what about when you
392
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were at the gym, What about when you went to
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the grocery store, what about when you went to the
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post office to mail that package? What about when you
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went to the car wash, like in any of those
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other spaces, was that an opportunity or were you kind
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of like walking around with blinders on with your phone
398
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and all that stuff. So I think that men and
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women kind of approach the possibility and the potential to
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meet someone and the opportunity in in different ways. And
401
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then I would say the other misconception is you know
402
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that he's been back there, and that you know we're
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gonna just wheel him out when she's ready, or that
404
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they there's more options than there really are, right, and so,
405
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and that is like somebody will join and I'm like, oh,
406
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I know who I want to match this person with,
407
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like immediately right, And I'm like, these are the things
408
00:19:07.000 --> 00:19:09.319
that you said you're looking for. These are like there's
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all alignment and we are so dismissive because we're in
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this like microwave like microwave and throw away like society
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that is kind of like, oh no, Like I don't
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you know, I think I could somebody you know's he's
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five nine. I think I could wait until somebody's.
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You know, six foot until the sixth one guy comes
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down with all.
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The same.
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Unrealistic expectations. Like sometimes, sis, you got to lower your
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expectations or just make them a little bit more realistic.
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Like just because they're six foot one and you know,
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dressed to the nines doesn't mean that that's really the
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guy for you. Sometimes the five foot nine guy be
422
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packing a lot in a lot of different avenues.
423
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We got to get to.
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The core of what truly matters, because if we don't,
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you're gonna have the six foot one guy who's cheating
426
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on you, who's not giving you the energy and the
427
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time and the respect that you deserve. It's like it's yeah,
428
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it's it's crazy.
429
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And it's also like I like to tell people it's
430
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not about lowering your expectations. It's just about like recalibrating, Like, yeah,
431
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what you find to be most important? Right, And so
432
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to me, I'm kind of like, if you put make
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a list of your tent, which we encourage our members
434
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to do, make a list to put them in, you know,
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order ten things that are the most important things to you. Now,
436
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reorder them to the top three things. Right, Like a
437
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lot of those other things are like they're nice to have, right,
438
00:20:32.880 --> 00:20:37.440
Like they can be you can you can compromise, right,
439
00:20:37.559 --> 00:20:40.119
Like not compromise in a negative way like you're losing something,
440
00:20:40.119 --> 00:20:42.000
but compromise in a way of like, oh, I want
441
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him to he needs to live, you know, thirty minutes
442
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from me. I'm like, girl, can he live an hour
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from you? Or you know, I'm saying like it's where
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we get this laundry list in our head. I'm like stop, right,
445
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I'm kind of like it's more important that he's family
446
00:20:54.880 --> 00:20:57.319
oriented the way that you're looking for, that he's educated,
447
00:20:57.559 --> 00:21:01.079
that he has a provider mindset, right that like he
448
00:21:01.319 --> 00:21:04.440
is a listener, right, Like he's faithful, right, or that
449
00:21:04.480 --> 00:21:07.079
he's six foot is gonna buy you a Louis bag, right,
450
00:21:07.119 --> 00:21:08.759
like it's gonna fly you to Miami next week, like
451
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it's it's I just want us to just ground ourselves
452
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in reality, right, And I don't and I don't want
453
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to take away from anybody what it is that they're
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looking for, because, like I've said many a time, if
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you're looking for it and these are your requirements, more
456
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power to you. I hope that you find it. And
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if you don't want to compromise on anything, then I
458
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support that, right. But if you are coachable, if you
459
00:21:32.720 --> 00:21:36.359
are open to the possibilities that are really out there,
460
00:21:36.400 --> 00:21:40.200
and you're willing to just have a conversation, the matchmaking
461
00:21:40.279 --> 00:21:42.519
may be good for you, because, like I say, we're
462
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introductory service. And what's funny is we just hosted this
463
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really big event, the Dating Game, and it was so fun.
464
00:21:49.799 --> 00:21:54.759
It was so fun. So we hosted the Dating Game
465
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and it was singles, and then you know, it was
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you know, you'd have a bachelor, bachelorette a partition and
467
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then the other side it would be three singles, right,
468
00:22:03.039 --> 00:22:05.039
And so they were kind of doing interviews and stuff
469
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to figure out who they want to be matched. Oh,
470
00:22:06.880 --> 00:22:08.880
this is like this show.
471
00:22:08.839 --> 00:22:09.480
The game show is.
472
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It's literally the game show and so but it was
473
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like in front of a big audience or whatever, and
474
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like they all got to participate and we had couples
475
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come on stage and stuff. I digress. The point of
476
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it is at the end of the event, there was
477
00:22:21.920 --> 00:22:24.000
a lot of gentlemen there and so a gentleman came
478
00:22:24.039 --> 00:22:25.799
up to me and he was like, I have some
479
00:22:25.839 --> 00:22:27.440
feedback I want to share with you. And I was like,
480
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I'm all ears, Like when does a man come and
481
00:22:30.119 --> 00:22:31.920
tell me have anything to say? Like you know what
482
00:22:31.920 --> 00:22:34.200
I'm saying, I'm like, pull up a chair. And so
483
00:22:34.319 --> 00:22:37.599
he was like, you know, there are guys here that
484
00:22:37.640 --> 00:22:39.839
have tried to approach women and the women are so
485
00:22:40.079 --> 00:22:45.200
dismissive and rude to the approach. And it's because maybe
486
00:22:45.240 --> 00:22:47.039
they look at him and they're like I'm not really
487
00:22:47.039 --> 00:22:52.279
feeling it or whatever, and so it's discouraging right for
488
00:22:52.319 --> 00:22:53.920
the guy that's like, I'm trying to put myself out there.
489
00:22:53.920 --> 00:22:55.759
I'm trying to like talk to women, and that's a
490
00:22:55.799 --> 00:22:57.440
part of that rejection thing where I'm telling you that
491
00:22:57.759 --> 00:22:59.640
men don't like it either. And we're getting more and
492
00:22:59.680 --> 00:23:02.359
more to the point with social media and dating apps
493
00:23:02.400 --> 00:23:04.839
that they don't have to experience it. Yes, right, and
494
00:23:04.920 --> 00:23:06.720
so yep to me, I'm like the guys that have
495
00:23:06.799 --> 00:23:08.759
the kahonas to walk up to you, I'm like, okay,
496
00:23:08.880 --> 00:23:11.400
hold on, let me what's up, you know, like, let
497
00:23:11.440 --> 00:23:15.079
me just at least move with kindness and like that
498
00:23:15.279 --> 00:23:17.960
and realize that this person is not only putting myselves
499
00:23:17.960 --> 00:23:20.640
out there, but they're being vulnerable and like they may
500
00:23:20.640 --> 00:23:22.480
not be your cup of tea, you may not exchange numbers,
501
00:23:22.480 --> 00:23:25.000
but you can at least be kind and like your
502
00:23:25.200 --> 00:23:27.880
response to them. And so that's just a piece of
503
00:23:27.880 --> 00:23:31.279
advice for women. Like we we can be so dismissive
504
00:23:31.480 --> 00:23:34.160
of guys that were not interested in but it's kind
505
00:23:34.160 --> 00:23:36.559
of like you don't have to kind of play them
506
00:23:36.599 --> 00:23:36.799
like that.
507
00:23:37.240 --> 00:23:37.519
Yeah.
508
00:23:37.720 --> 00:23:37.759
No.
509
00:23:37.920 --> 00:23:41.440
When I was an entrepreneur coach for the entrepreneurs, I
510
00:23:41.440 --> 00:23:44.680
would always tell them, like, the thing that you're doing
511
00:23:44.759 --> 00:23:45.599
right now may not.
512
00:23:45.599 --> 00:23:47.160
Be the thing, but it could be the thing that
513
00:23:47.279 --> 00:23:48.240
leads you to the thing.
514
00:23:48.759 --> 00:23:51.240
And so same way when it comes to people, it's like,
515
00:23:51.279 --> 00:23:54.519
when you're dismissive, you are blocking a potential future blessing
516
00:23:54.720 --> 00:23:56.599
because that may not be your husband, but that may
517
00:23:56.599 --> 00:23:58.759
be the person who introduces you to your husband. That
518
00:23:58.839 --> 00:24:00.640
may be the person who introduce should you to an
519
00:24:00.640 --> 00:24:04.799
opportunity that betters your life. So this idea of Okay,
520
00:24:04.839 --> 00:24:06.279
I'm in the space and yes I'm looking for a
521
00:24:06.359 --> 00:24:08.920
husband and being dismissive if you feel that that person
522
00:24:08.960 --> 00:24:13.440
isn't that it's like you are literally actively blocking your blessings.
523
00:24:13.759 --> 00:24:17.000
So it's like my question to you is with the
524
00:24:17.039 --> 00:24:21.279
matchmaking space, knowing that you have these qualified women who
525
00:24:21.400 --> 00:24:24.400
yes they deserve love and yes they deserve all the
526
00:24:24.440 --> 00:24:27.160
things on their list, Like, how do you guys actively
527
00:24:27.240 --> 00:24:29.920
deal with making sure that when they're at events that
528
00:24:29.960 --> 00:24:34.079
they are coming across as approachable or that they're working
529
00:24:34.119 --> 00:24:36.279
on themselves to be more open minded?
530
00:24:36.400 --> 00:24:38.440
Like, is there is that something that you guys actively
531
00:24:38.440 --> 00:24:39.000
help them with.
532
00:24:39.160 --> 00:24:43.200
Yeah, so we definitely do coaching. Is that part the process?
533
00:24:43.240 --> 00:24:45.240
Part of the process. And it's actually like one of
534
00:24:45.279 --> 00:24:48.440
the things that we require as we're screening people to
535
00:24:48.559 --> 00:24:50.319
decide if we want to admit them into carpet dem
536
00:24:50.400 --> 00:24:53.319
or not, is we ask them like are you coachable? Right? Like,
537
00:24:53.880 --> 00:24:56.519
are you someone who like can take feedback because we're
538
00:24:56.519 --> 00:24:58.920
going to give you honest feedback. That picture is not it.
539
00:24:59.039 --> 00:25:01.400
You got to change it. That video that you add it,
540
00:25:01.400 --> 00:25:03.839
it's not it. You have to change it. Right Like,
541
00:25:04.319 --> 00:25:07.000
we've gotten feedback on your dates and it's not good,
542
00:25:07.319 --> 00:25:11.880
right like, Or so that allows because ultimately we're not
543
00:25:11.920 --> 00:25:14.759
a dating app, right Like dating apps they make money
544
00:25:14.799 --> 00:25:17.599
because you've paid because you're swiping, and so you being
545
00:25:17.640 --> 00:25:20.960
single is great for them, right Like, we're a matchmaking service.
546
00:25:21.160 --> 00:25:23.880
You already paid us, right so we want you to
547
00:25:24.000 --> 00:25:27.200
find the person that you want and right off into
548
00:25:27.240 --> 00:25:29.359
the sunset or whatever you're gonna do. Right And so
549
00:25:29.799 --> 00:25:32.640
for us, there's only a benefit in us being able
550
00:25:32.640 --> 00:25:34.480
to coach you for you to be open to what
551
00:25:34.519 --> 00:25:37.599
our feedback is. And we work with so many singles
552
00:25:38.000 --> 00:25:40.680
that we know what's going to work and what's not
553
00:25:40.720 --> 00:25:43.319
gonna work, and so if you're not open to that,
554
00:25:43.440 --> 00:25:45.200
then it's not gonna work. And then when you join,
555
00:25:45.240 --> 00:25:47.640
we also put you through a coaching curriculum, so like
556
00:25:47.640 --> 00:25:51.480
we have a video series that's in our actual app
557
00:25:51.759 --> 00:25:54.039
that you have to complete before you can even receive
558
00:25:54.079 --> 00:25:56.200
your first match. And so we go over what to
559
00:25:56.240 --> 00:25:59.359
expect with working with a matchmaker. We go over emotional
560
00:25:59.440 --> 00:26:03.000
intelligence and finding and defining what the perfect partner looks
561
00:26:03.039 --> 00:26:05.240
like for you. And then we have another series called
562
00:26:05.279 --> 00:26:08.079
The Science of Happier ever After, where we had psychologists
563
00:26:08.559 --> 00:26:12.599
tied to Shiro actually talk about the science behind love
564
00:26:12.839 --> 00:26:16.200
and like, how you know every criteria that you add
565
00:26:16.319 --> 00:26:18.759
limits you know, your ability to find someone what actually
566
00:26:18.880 --> 00:26:21.720
lends towards happiness Because the things that we think are
567
00:26:21.720 --> 00:26:24.519
going to make us happy are actually not the things
568
00:26:24.920 --> 00:26:28.920
that scientifically lead to happiness. And so it's important for
569
00:26:29.000 --> 00:26:31.599
us to help level set our members so that we're
570
00:26:31.680 --> 00:26:34.480
kind of all working from a similar standpoint as we
571
00:26:34.559 --> 00:26:37.599
then match them because I feel like that helps them
572
00:26:38.039 --> 00:26:39.480
interact with their matches better.
573
00:26:39.759 --> 00:26:42.839
Yeah, what are some of those key coaching points that
574
00:26:43.000 --> 00:26:45.240
maybe someone who wants to join Carpet DM, if they
575
00:26:45.319 --> 00:26:47.519
worked on this a little bit prior to joining, they
576
00:26:47.519 --> 00:26:49.400
would have an even better success rate.
577
00:26:50.240 --> 00:26:58.680
I mean, I wanna be nice, right, So for men,
578
00:26:59.759 --> 00:27:03.279
is you're awkward, right, Like, you're a little awkward. You
579
00:27:03.319 --> 00:27:05.400
may not have a little bit of swag, You may
580
00:27:05.400 --> 00:27:08.680
not have the vocabulary to really speak to women the
581
00:27:08.720 --> 00:27:13.440
way that they're expecting. You may not have the skill
582
00:27:13.559 --> 00:27:19.400
set to like for a long term uh courtship, right,
583
00:27:19.519 --> 00:27:21.799
so you need kind of coaching on that you may
584
00:27:21.839 --> 00:27:25.720
not have the skills for, like really engaging conversation too.
585
00:27:25.799 --> 00:27:28.799
Talk to some people, I'm like, that's a great guy, right,
586
00:27:28.839 --> 00:27:32.200
and then like he has his dates and they're like
587
00:27:32.200 --> 00:27:36.440
like wall paint drying, you know what saying. Like, so
588
00:27:36.519 --> 00:27:38.559
sometimes we have to coach them through that, like, Okay,
589
00:27:38.599 --> 00:27:41.359
let's do some like little mock dates, like okay, talk
590
00:27:41.440 --> 00:27:43.279
to me like you're meeting me for the first time,
591
00:27:43.440 --> 00:27:46.920
like you're interviewing for a job. Dating is a skill, right,
592
00:27:47.079 --> 00:27:48.759
Like dating is a skill, and some of us are
593
00:27:48.799 --> 00:27:50.880
very lucky that we kind of fall into somebody that's
594
00:27:50.920 --> 00:27:53.279
like weird the way that we're weird, right, and so
595
00:27:53.480 --> 00:27:56.759
like so it just it just happens. But otherwise, like
596
00:27:56.759 --> 00:27:58.480
it's a skill that you can definitely work on and
597
00:27:58.519 --> 00:28:01.240
you can improve. And then on the women's side, my
598
00:28:01.240 --> 00:28:04.119
biggest thing is like to work on as side. Every
599
00:28:04.200 --> 00:28:05.960
time I say this, people come from me. So work
600
00:28:05.960 --> 00:28:08.400
on your parents, right, work on your appearances.
601
00:28:08.480 --> 00:28:08.920
That's real.
602
00:28:09.160 --> 00:28:12.039
Make sure because it's the first thing that men see, right,
603
00:28:12.079 --> 00:28:14.799
and so if you want to attract a high quality
604
00:28:15.319 --> 00:28:18.359
male man, right, then you need to work on the
605
00:28:18.359 --> 00:28:19.960
way that you look, and that's just the way that
606
00:28:20.000 --> 00:28:21.799
it is. I don't want to sugarcoat things for women.
607
00:28:22.039 --> 00:28:23.640
I take. I try to take my own advice, you
608
00:28:23.680 --> 00:28:25.240
know what I'm saying when it comes to that. And
609
00:28:25.319 --> 00:28:28.319
so you know the time that you spend, you know,
610
00:28:28.960 --> 00:28:32.319
taking care of yourself, And that doesn't mean looking like
611
00:28:32.839 --> 00:28:35.960
someone else like a kardash having the lashes, having right
612
00:28:36.119 --> 00:28:38.960
doesn't that means taking care of yourself looking like someone
613
00:28:38.960 --> 00:28:42.400
who is healthy, looking like someone who values themselves right
614
00:28:42.440 --> 00:28:45.400
and puts themselves in the right situations and things like
615
00:28:45.440 --> 00:28:48.440
that that people can see that, people can tell that, right,
616
00:28:48.440 --> 00:28:51.759
That's why you have the whole anti bonic culture versus
617
00:28:51.799 --> 00:28:54.039
like you don't have to be the complete opposite where
618
00:28:54.039 --> 00:28:56.440
you're dressed to the nines all the time, right, But
619
00:28:56.480 --> 00:28:59.960
there's a there's a lot of space in between those
620
00:29:00.160 --> 00:29:03.759
to those two things. And so I would just say
621
00:29:03.799 --> 00:29:06.039
that to women like and then obviously your looks are
622
00:29:06.039 --> 00:29:08.279
gonna get you in the door, but like, do you
623
00:29:08.359 --> 00:29:11.119
have a good personality? Can you hold a conversation? Are
624
00:29:11.160 --> 00:29:14.200
you supportive? I talked to so many men that are like,
625
00:29:14.279 --> 00:29:17.000
I cannot be vulnerable with this person like right, Like
626
00:29:17.039 --> 00:29:19.200
I don't I can't open up to her, you know,
627
00:29:19.279 --> 00:29:21.680
and so it's kind of like we really have to
628
00:29:21.720 --> 00:29:24.079
be well rounded on both sides. But it's just kind
629
00:29:24.079 --> 00:29:27.480
of like what gets you in the door first is
630
00:29:27.519 --> 00:29:28.519
different for men and women.
631
00:29:28.559 --> 00:29:29.000
Absolutely.
632
00:29:29.000 --> 00:29:31.880
I mean we've talked about this before that you have
633
00:29:32.000 --> 00:29:36.720
to be attractive, and we don't just mean physically attractive. Well,
634
00:29:36.720 --> 00:29:39.920
of course that helps, because that will get you noticed,
635
00:29:40.200 --> 00:29:43.559
you know, just like you said, men want a high caliber,
636
00:29:43.640 --> 00:29:46.799
high quality man wants to see a well put together woman.
637
00:29:47.079 --> 00:29:50.000
Now again, doesn't mean you have to have long, beautiful.
638
00:29:49.640 --> 00:29:50.880
Weeds or whatever.
639
00:29:50.960 --> 00:29:53.920
It's whatever that feels good to you. Take care of
640
00:29:53.960 --> 00:29:56.720
your body, make sure you're feeling good, and that will
641
00:29:56.720 --> 00:29:59.880
be presented outward. But also you have to be attractive,
642
00:30:00.079 --> 00:30:03.000
like through your energy. You have to give out attractive
643
00:30:03.119 --> 00:30:06.880
energy and then you will attract something that's of quality
644
00:30:06.960 --> 00:30:09.880
back to you. It's so important, and I'm glad that
645
00:30:09.960 --> 00:30:12.319
you were that you say this because I think that
646
00:30:12.359 --> 00:30:14.240
this is something that women need to hear. Like, yeah,
647
00:30:14.279 --> 00:30:16.400
it's a little bit of tough love, but at the
648
00:30:16.480 --> 00:30:18.920
end of the day, your appearance and how you present
649
00:30:19.000 --> 00:30:21.240
yourself is so critically important.
650
00:30:21.680 --> 00:30:23.920
And you're right, and it's a for a lot of men,
651
00:30:24.200 --> 00:30:27.559
they view the way that their woman looks as a
652
00:30:27.559 --> 00:30:29.720
reflection of them, right. So if you're out in the
653
00:30:29.759 --> 00:30:32.160
world and he's like, oh, yeah, that's my that's my
654
00:30:32.279 --> 00:30:37.000
girl over there, right, like the one the bonet right like,
655
00:30:37.200 --> 00:30:38.400
or is he like, oh no, that's my girl, that's
656
00:30:38.440 --> 00:30:41.000
my girl, like he got you in his hand, sitting
657
00:30:41.000 --> 00:30:43.240
you down like. And that's because of the way that
658
00:30:43.279 --> 00:30:46.440
you're actually presenting yourself and you're bringing pride right to
659
00:30:47.000 --> 00:30:49.359
him because you are taking care of yourself. And so
660
00:30:49.440 --> 00:30:52.039
I think that it's just it's really important. I don't
661
00:30:52.039 --> 00:30:55.200
want to understate it or overstate it, right, but you know,
662
00:30:56.200 --> 00:30:58.400
everybody has things to work on, everybody has things that
663
00:30:58.400 --> 00:31:01.599
they can improve upon. And this is just the advice
664
00:31:01.599 --> 00:31:03.880
that I just like to give to women because I
665
00:31:03.920 --> 00:31:06.000
don't want to I don't want women to get caught
666
00:31:06.039 --> 00:31:07.920
up in the I have to look a certain type
667
00:31:07.920 --> 00:31:11.119
of way. But I've said this before, like, do what
668
00:31:11.160 --> 00:31:13.279
you want to do, right, I'm just telling you, based
669
00:31:13.319 --> 00:31:16.000
on my experience, if you want to attract the type
670
00:31:16.039 --> 00:31:17.920
of man that you're saying that you want to attract, right,
671
00:31:18.079 --> 00:31:20.839
then you may have to do something different. Otherwise attract
672
00:31:20.839 --> 00:31:23.559
the type of man you're attracting, right like, and keep
673
00:31:23.559 --> 00:31:24.319
doing what you're doing.
674
00:31:24.400 --> 00:31:28.240
And it's not all just like looks right, things that
675
00:31:28.279 --> 00:31:31.599
you can absolutely change, like the clothing you know, or
676
00:31:31.720 --> 00:31:35.400
the spaces you go to, or the color of your nails.
677
00:31:35.039 --> 00:31:35.359
Or you know.
678
00:31:35.400 --> 00:31:36.640
It's like, it's a lot of things.
679
00:31:36.680 --> 00:31:39.319
So it's not just to say that like, oh, you're
680
00:31:39.319 --> 00:31:39.960
not pretty enough.
681
00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:42.400
That's not what it is. It's appearance is a lot
682
00:31:42.440 --> 00:31:42.759
of things.
683
00:31:42.759 --> 00:31:46.920
And naturally, as women, when we feel good about ourselves,
684
00:31:47.279 --> 00:31:50.000
we come across in a space where we feel good
685
00:31:50.000 --> 00:31:53.200
about ourselves. I think a lot of times when women,
686
00:31:53.279 --> 00:31:55.519
because it happened to me at a certain point where
687
00:31:55.519 --> 00:31:58.599
I was like, just I'm seeking and looking for someone,
688
00:31:58.759 --> 00:31:59.759
but I'm like do they not?
689
00:32:00.400 --> 00:32:00.839
Do they not?
690
00:32:01.160 --> 00:32:01.519
Hello?
691
00:32:02.119 --> 00:32:04.839
Do you see me over here? I'm like her, am
692
00:32:04.880 --> 00:32:05.359
I not me?
693
00:32:05.640 --> 00:32:06.200
They pick me?
694
00:32:06.680 --> 00:32:08.079
And it gets to the point where you start to
695
00:32:08.079 --> 00:32:11.599
get angry with the process because you're like, something's wrong
696
00:32:11.640 --> 00:32:14.359
with me. And then it becomes this like just spiral
697
00:32:14.400 --> 00:32:16.559
effect of like now when you are out in the
698
00:32:16.559 --> 00:32:19.279
real world and you're trying to date, you're coming across
699
00:32:19.279 --> 00:32:21.920
as a mad woman because you're literally mad and angry
700
00:32:22.279 --> 00:32:25.440
you haven't met your person yet, and people feel that energy.
701
00:32:26.119 --> 00:32:28.640
I want to jump into numbers with you. I want
702
00:32:28.640 --> 00:32:34.240
to know from your applicants, how many male versus female
703
00:32:34.279 --> 00:32:37.799
applicants do you guys see on maybe like a monthly basis.
704
00:32:37.799 --> 00:32:40.079
I'm assuming you have to turn down more women in
705
00:32:40.200 --> 00:32:42.799
order to keep the playing ground or the playground a
706
00:32:42.839 --> 00:32:45.200
little you know, even, But what do the numbers look
707
00:32:45.279 --> 00:32:47.680
like in regards to who you're seeing is reaching out
708
00:32:47.680 --> 00:32:48.079
for help?
709
00:32:48.240 --> 00:32:52.160
Yeah, so it's probably like four to one okay for women.
710
00:32:52.319 --> 00:32:56.480
That's I mean, you know, we control with the marketing spend.
711
00:32:56.599 --> 00:33:00.079
We know how I placed them dollars to attract the
712
00:33:00.160 --> 00:33:03.119
guys and make sure that we're investing in appealing to them.
713
00:33:03.759 --> 00:33:06.079
And so it's about four to one, and we are
714
00:33:06.160 --> 00:33:09.400
platform is about two to one, and so we feel
715
00:33:09.400 --> 00:33:11.200
like those are really good odds. Yeah, for the people
716
00:33:11.240 --> 00:33:14.759
that are our platform, and we really work really hard
717
00:33:14.759 --> 00:33:16.519
to keep it that way. I do want to touch
718
00:33:16.559 --> 00:33:19.359
on something that you just mentioned though, and I completely
719
00:33:19.400 --> 00:33:23.680
agree with you about energy and like we've I've talked
720
00:33:23.720 --> 00:33:27.599
about this before, where you start getting older, you start
721
00:33:27.640 --> 00:33:29.039
looking around and you're like, I don't know if he's
722
00:33:29.039 --> 00:33:30.359
ever going to show up and there's like a lot
723
00:33:30.359 --> 00:33:33.799
of anxiety and it just like radiates off of women.
724
00:33:33.839 --> 00:33:35.640
And then you get an opportunity to me to great guy,
725
00:33:35.680 --> 00:33:38.880
and you actually fumble it because like now you're like
726
00:33:38.920 --> 00:33:41.599
you said, you get spiral. I really want women to
727
00:33:42.359 --> 00:33:46.599
despite knowing the numbers and the odds, to operate in
728
00:33:46.680 --> 00:33:51.359
an abundance mindset, like, you still have to operate in
729
00:33:51.359 --> 00:33:56.279
an abundance mindset in that there are plenty of amazing
730
00:33:56.359 --> 00:34:00.200
people out there that could be suitable for me to
731
00:34:00.359 --> 00:34:03.079
establish a long term relationship with. Right, and so when
732
00:34:03.119 --> 00:34:05.119
I say, man, the odds aren't in our favorite doesn't
733
00:34:05.119 --> 00:34:06.799
mean pick up any ref raff off the street and
734
00:34:06.839 --> 00:34:10.320
be like dust them off. And then you know, no, like, yeah,
735
00:34:10.360 --> 00:34:12.960
you have the option of staying single, right, Like you
736
00:34:13.000 --> 00:34:15.880
don't have to let the anxiety kind of take control.
737
00:34:16.280 --> 00:34:20.480
Still operate in an abundance mindset, operate in kindness, right,
738
00:34:20.639 --> 00:34:24.480
like give people an opportunity, but kind of know your
739
00:34:24.519 --> 00:34:28.840
deal breakers, your standards, and like the off ramp is there, baby,
740
00:34:28.920 --> 00:34:31.440
Like we could just exit right if it's not going
741
00:34:31.440 --> 00:34:33.159
in the direction that you want. And I think that
742
00:34:33.599 --> 00:34:36.320
sometimes because we have so much anxiety and we're so
743
00:34:36.480 --> 00:34:38.239
nervous about I don't know if I'll have ever find
744
00:34:38.239 --> 00:34:41.760
someone again. We just start to accept whatever, right because
745
00:34:41.760 --> 00:34:44.159
he is six', Four i'm just gonna accept the craziness
746
00:34:44.199 --> 00:34:46.880
that he's run into the table and we shouldn't do.
747
00:34:46.880 --> 00:34:48.400
That and the same thing for, men Right, LIKE i
748
00:34:48.400 --> 00:34:53.440
think men probably innately operate more abundance mindset than we
749
00:34:53.480 --> 00:34:55.400
do as. Women when we see a guy that we're, like,
750
00:34:55.440 --> 00:34:57.880
oh we just. START i, mean we plan the, wedding we,
751
00:34:57.920 --> 00:35:00.400
got we plan the, dress we, start you, know creating
752
00:35:00.400 --> 00:35:03.519
the group chat with the, women And i'm, like it's
753
00:35:03.559 --> 00:35:07.400
just slow. Down because it's also the abundance mindset THAT
754
00:35:07.639 --> 00:35:10.239
i found in talking to men that attracts men to certain.
755
00:35:10.280 --> 00:35:13.280
Women Right like the guy that's, LIKE i think she
756
00:35:13.320 --> 00:35:15.679
could just take me or leave me really like you
757
00:35:15.719 --> 00:35:17.519
know What i'm saying that he's, like BUT i want? Her?
758
00:35:17.760 --> 00:35:19.280
Right is that attractive to?
759
00:35:19.320 --> 00:35:19.480
Men?
760
00:35:19.559 --> 00:35:23.199
Like like the is the chase still attractive to men?
761
00:35:23.280 --> 00:35:26.519
Nowadays or is it kind of like off putting or,
762
00:35:26.599 --> 00:35:28.960
like you know, WHAT i have? Options SO i.
763
00:35:28.920 --> 00:35:32.199
Think it's if you think, about, like if you meet
764
00:35:32.239 --> 00:35:35.440
someone and they have no better option than, you then
765
00:35:35.440 --> 00:35:39.440
how much value do you place in that? Connection right
766
00:35:39.559 --> 00:35:42.039
if you're kind of LIKE i really don't matter WHAT
767
00:35:42.079 --> 00:35:43.960
i do to this. Person and we've been in that
768
00:35:44.159 --> 00:35:46.679
situation as, women or we meet the guy that you're like, this,
769
00:35:46.840 --> 00:35:49.800
dude well except, whatever, WHATEVER i don't know, why you
770
00:35:49.840 --> 00:35:51.559
know What i'm, Saying and like you may hang around
771
00:35:51.639 --> 00:35:53.800
that person for a, while you don't necessarily respect, them
772
00:35:53.840 --> 00:35:56.079
you don't necessarily know. That you know that it's not
773
00:35:56.079 --> 00:35:58.800
necessarily going. Anywhere and then there's that person that's, like
774
00:35:58.880 --> 00:36:01.840
oh you got, motion, Right, like oh, SORRY i gotta
775
00:36:01.840 --> 00:36:04.320
get on your calendar On thursday of next. Week you
776
00:36:04.400 --> 00:36:08.119
know What i'm. Saying and it's human, nature, Right like
777
00:36:08.199 --> 00:36:10.559
it's the. Rarity it's like the fact that the person
778
00:36:10.679 --> 00:36:13.920
is has a life of their own that they, love
779
00:36:14.000 --> 00:36:16.440
that they've, built and you want to be a part of, that,
780
00:36:16.559 --> 00:36:19.320
Right and you're innately attracted to. That and so that's
781
00:36:19.320 --> 00:36:21.480
WHAT i mean by like having an abundance, Mindset like
782
00:36:21.480 --> 00:36:23.880
you're living the life and it's not like your life
783
00:36:23.920 --> 00:36:27.079
is on pause because you haven't find you found your, partner,
784
00:36:27.199 --> 00:36:29.880
Right you're living a full life and you know it's
785
00:36:29.920 --> 00:36:32.519
like when he gets on the, bus you're Like, Dang
786
00:36:32.519 --> 00:36:33.960
i've been waiting for, you you know What i'm, Saying
787
00:36:34.320 --> 00:36:37.119
and now let's take this ride together versus you, KNOW
788
00:36:37.239 --> 00:36:38.719
i never got on the bus at all BECAUSE i
789
00:36:38.719 --> 00:36:40.639
didn't know if he was coming to this stop or
790
00:36:40.639 --> 00:36:42.360
the next. Stop, Right, like you just kind of have
791
00:36:42.480 --> 00:36:43.079
to push.
792
00:36:43.159 --> 00:36:46.360
Forward there is this book Called what To Do Until
793
00:36:46.360 --> 00:36:51.880
Love Finds you By michelle McKinney, haymond and it talks
794
00:36:51.920 --> 00:36:55.440
about how WHICH i agree and disagree in a certain,
795
00:36:55.440 --> 00:36:57.880
regard and we'll talk about, that but it talks about
796
00:36:57.920 --> 00:37:03.519
how a, flower like if there's a, beautiful, blossoming thriving
797
00:37:03.599 --> 00:37:07.079
flower in the, garden that if a man walks, by
798
00:37:07.320 --> 00:37:11.280
he'll notice that. Flower but what happens if that flower
799
00:37:11.320 --> 00:37:14.800
has like some missing, leaves it's like, broken it's swinging,
800
00:37:14.880 --> 00:37:17.880
down dripped. Down it's not, like, hi HERE i. Am
801
00:37:18.320 --> 00:37:22.039
and so she essentially is talking about how a man
802
00:37:22.159 --> 00:37:25.639
will find you if you just live your life and
803
00:37:25.679 --> 00:37:28.760
like do you and just focus on. You, now the
804
00:37:28.800 --> 00:37:30.800
thing THAT i don't necessarily agree with is how we
805
00:37:30.840 --> 00:37:32.559
talked about. Earlier it's like you can't just like be
806
00:37:32.639 --> 00:37:34.920
in a house thinking that he's gonna knock at your,
807
00:37:34.960 --> 00:37:37.679
door get to put yourself in situations to be seen
808
00:37:37.880 --> 00:37:41.360
and to be. Chosen so WHAT i love about it
809
00:37:41.440 --> 00:37:45.679
is like so many, people especially people are, single which makes.
810
00:37:45.679 --> 00:37:48.119
Sense they're, like, oh, marriage, marriage, MARRIAGE i want my, partner, partner,
811
00:37:48.199 --> 00:37:50.679
partner AND i kind of lose sense.
812
00:37:50.519 --> 00:37:51.280
Of like the beauty of.
813
00:37:51.320 --> 00:37:55.360
Singleness excuse, me you lose sense of like the beauty of.
814
00:37:55.400 --> 00:37:57.360
Singleness like now that we are, married there's certain things
815
00:37:57.360 --> 00:37:59.440
that we will never be able to get, back, Right, Yeah,
816
00:38:00.159 --> 00:38:03.000
andre last night at, dinner we're talking about how like
817
00:38:03.199 --> 00:38:06.079
there's certain things that he doesn't care about That i'm
818
00:38:06.159 --> 00:38:08.800
like losing sleepover in our home Where i'm, like.
819
00:38:08.920 --> 00:38:10.840
OH i just want to buy the, hutch and he's,
820
00:38:10.880 --> 00:38:13.039
LIKE i hate the. Hutch it looks like for, grandmothers,
821
00:38:13.440 --> 00:38:15.079
like BUT i need, it And i'm, LIKE i don't
822
00:38:15.119 --> 00:38:15.840
make it a dining.
823
00:38:15.920 --> 00:38:17.880
Room and it's stuff like that where it's like you
824
00:38:17.960 --> 00:38:21.119
have to make every decision with somebody else in. Mind
825
00:38:21.239 --> 00:38:24.280
and so when you're so focused on partnership and, marriage
826
00:38:24.320 --> 00:38:26.599
you lose the beauty of what it's like to just
827
00:38:26.880 --> 00:38:30.199
worry about your goddamn yes and what it feels like
828
00:38:30.320 --> 00:38:32.719
to you, know wake up every day and decide what
829
00:38:32.760 --> 00:38:35.559
you do with your day without having to account for somebody.
830
00:38:35.559 --> 00:38:38.639
Else and so there's beauty and, singleness there's beauty in,
831
00:38:38.760 --> 00:38:42.000
marriage there's beauty and. Relationship but it's like when you
832
00:38:42.079 --> 00:38:45.320
are so over the process that you're just kind of
833
00:38:45.360 --> 00:38:48.239
like walking through life with your shoulders hunched, over and
834
00:38:48.280 --> 00:38:50.519
you lose sense of, like what is so beautiful about
835
00:38:50.519 --> 00:38:52.519
the life you? Have now life will pass you, up
836
00:38:52.679 --> 00:38:54.199
and then you're going to get in that marriage and
837
00:38:54.239 --> 00:38:56.280
get in that relationship and you're going to miss the
838
00:38:56.360 --> 00:38:59.000
things about singleness that you didn't take advantage of when
839
00:38:59.039 --> 00:39:01.239
you had. It and so it's like one of those
840
00:39:01.360 --> 00:39:05.159
things of if you're not living in, today by the
841
00:39:05.199 --> 00:39:08.119
time tomorrow, comes it's where did the time.
842
00:39:08.239 --> 00:39:11.280
Go we're all gonna leave this earth, right whether we
843
00:39:11.400 --> 00:39:12.719
leave it with someone or by.
844
00:39:12.760 --> 00:39:16.400
Ourselves if you don't choose to enjoy your, life if
845
00:39:16.440 --> 00:39:19.360
you don't choose to enjoy who you are and grow
846
00:39:19.440 --> 00:39:21.760
and focus all your energy into just feeling good.
847
00:39:21.599 --> 00:39:23.800
Every, day you're gott to be.
848
00:39:23.880 --> 00:39:26.440
Miserable and then by the time the right person, comes
849
00:39:26.440 --> 00:39:28.639
he may not even be able to you may not
850
00:39:28.679 --> 00:39:31.360
be able to receive them because you're in such a
851
00:39:31.400 --> 00:39:34.400
space of like disparity and like life sucks and like
852
00:39:34.480 --> 00:39:36.639
nothing is good and like like what are you talking?
853
00:39:36.639 --> 00:39:38.719
About and like that was your husband's. Sys you just know,
854
00:39:38.960 --> 00:39:43.280
them so you know those girls that put that chin
855
00:39:43.440 --> 00:39:45.960
up and like let him see, you but be out
856
00:39:45.960 --> 00:39:48.360
here to See, okay.
857
00:39:48.719 --> 00:39:51.920
Can we real? Quick because we talked about how to
858
00:39:52.159 --> 00:39:54.679
how to help coach the, girls how to help coach the,
859
00:39:54.719 --> 00:39:58.880
Man please shed some. Light tell us about some success,
860
00:39:58.960 --> 00:40:03.000
stories some carp idm because we need to give the
861
00:40:03.039 --> 00:40:06.960
girls some, hope, right you, know LIKE i know there's
862
00:40:07.039 --> 00:40:10.920
some beautiful black love stories coming, Out please share some
863
00:40:10.960 --> 00:40:11.440
of them with.
864
00:40:11.519 --> 00:40:16.760
Us So i'm going to talk not with, names but just. Generally, Right,
865
00:40:16.840 --> 00:40:18.880
so And i'm going to tell you success stories that
866
00:40:18.920 --> 00:40:21.920
have ended in relationships and a couple that. Haven't. Right
867
00:40:22.480 --> 00:40:25.519
and so we have a couple of, members and it's so,
868
00:40:25.599 --> 00:40:27.679
weird like a lot of times when we have these success,
869
00:40:27.719 --> 00:40:32.199
stories it's usually the first match for someone for one of. Them,
870
00:40:32.280 --> 00:40:34.280
Right so we have a. Member he was he was my,
871
00:40:34.400 --> 00:40:38.639
member and he was he had several. Matches he was
872
00:40:38.679 --> 00:40:41.440
one of the first guys actually joined the. Platform great great.
873
00:40:41.519 --> 00:40:45.000
Guy and then we had a new member joint and
874
00:40:45.519 --> 00:40:49.880
he was her first match and she never got another, match,
875
00:40:50.440 --> 00:40:52.719
right and so they have been. Together they were at
876
00:40:52.760 --> 00:40:56.599
the dating, game they came. Together if you go to our,
877
00:40:56.679 --> 00:40:59.960
page you'll probably see. Them we had another couple recent
878
00:41:00.320 --> 00:41:02.360
and we were kind of nervous about matching them because
879
00:41:02.400 --> 00:41:07.800
he's In richmond and she is In, maryland and so we're, like,
880
00:41:07.880 --> 00:41:10.039
well you, know they say that they're, open but sometimes
881
00:41:10.119 --> 00:41:11.920
singles will be Like i'm open to long distance and
882
00:41:11.960 --> 00:41:13.480
as soon as you match them with, somebody this hour
883
00:41:13.519 --> 00:41:16.599
a where they're like this is too. Much but, like,
884
00:41:16.800 --> 00:41:22.079
similarly she he was her first, match and so they
885
00:41:22.199 --> 00:41:25.480
came to the dating, game, right and so they kind
886
00:41:25.480 --> 00:41:28.559
of came. Together and so we have another. Couple he
887
00:41:28.880 --> 00:41:33.000
was a he is a, therapist and he joined and
888
00:41:33.039 --> 00:41:37.800
he had several. MATCHES a woman joined matched him with.
889
00:41:37.840 --> 00:41:41.320
Her they're in a. Relationship he was actually on a
890
00:41:41.360 --> 00:41:45.239
podcast for us with The Black Man can AND i
891
00:41:45.239 --> 00:41:47.360
can say his name justin he. Was he's on our page.
892
00:41:47.360 --> 00:41:50.519
Too and THEN i will tell a story about one
893
00:41:50.519 --> 00:41:53.159
of my very first members who's still a. Member, okay
894
00:41:53.239 --> 00:41:58.719
so she is a high powered black female. Attorney she's a.
895
00:41:58.760 --> 00:42:04.960
Partner she's, stunning like very, beautiful and when she, joined
896
00:42:04.960 --> 00:42:07.400
this is like when we first launched Carpe A dm
897
00:42:07.920 --> 00:42:10.199
and you would get twenty four matches at our premium.
898
00:42:10.280 --> 00:42:13.280
Level we don't got that no more so thirteen matches
899
00:42:13.320 --> 00:42:15.599
at the premium level and so twenty four matches at
900
00:42:15.639 --> 00:42:17.239
the premium. Level she was one of the first people
901
00:42:17.280 --> 00:42:22.079
to actually. Join so last, year around Like, NOVEMBER i
902
00:42:22.159 --> 00:42:23.880
reached out to her AND i was, like, Hey i'm just,
903
00:42:23.920 --> 00:42:26.639
realizing like you're going on two years with CARPE dm
904
00:42:26.920 --> 00:42:29.559
and we probably have a third of your matches. Left
905
00:42:29.800 --> 00:42:31.960
AND i was, like you, KNOW i feel horrible, that,
906
00:42:32.039 --> 00:42:34.559
like you, know we haven't been able to fulfill your
907
00:42:34.599 --> 00:42:37.599
matches faster she. Has you, know she's pretty open when
908
00:42:37.599 --> 00:42:40.679
it comes to, like pretty, flexible you, know when it
909
00:42:40.679 --> 00:42:42.719
comes to what she's looking. For AND i had a
910
00:42:42.719 --> 00:42:45.440
conversation and she was just, LIKE i am. Good she was,
911
00:42:45.519 --> 00:42:47.760
LIKE i love the quality of the men that you're
912
00:42:47.800 --> 00:42:50.039
matching me. With she was, LIKE i know That i'm
913
00:42:50.159 --> 00:42:53.079
a little, particular SO i know That i'm very, busy
914
00:42:53.280 --> 00:42:55.280
and she was, Like i'm still outliving my life, too
915
00:42:55.280 --> 00:42:57.440
and she was just like she's, like we have no.
916
00:42:57.519 --> 00:42:59.800
Problems she's, like you, know and so to, ME i
917
00:43:00.119 --> 00:43:03.079
feel like it can go multiple. Ways, Right like with any,
918
00:43:03.119 --> 00:43:05.679
service like you can, join you could find love of
919
00:43:05.719 --> 00:43:07.880
your life, immediately it could take a little bit of,
920
00:43:07.960 --> 00:43:09.800
time or you could be the type of person that's
921
00:43:09.840 --> 00:43:12.159
on for a little bit. Longer, Right but you are
922
00:43:12.239 --> 00:43:15.039
open and you're meeting people that you know that you
923
00:43:15.039 --> 00:43:18.039
can tell that we're matchmaking you with people of, quality
924
00:43:18.079 --> 00:43:19.880
and like we're listening to what is that you're looking.
925
00:43:19.880 --> 00:43:22.559
For it just may not be the right. Fit and
926
00:43:22.559 --> 00:43:24.440
then of course you have people who sometimes join in
927
00:43:24.519 --> 00:43:28.920
it doesn't work, out because that's just the nature of dating.
928
00:43:28.960 --> 00:43:33.039
Overall so we have an eighty six percent success rate
929
00:43:33.079 --> 00:43:36.960
when it comes to, matching and so our success rate
930
00:43:37.000 --> 00:43:38.519
is determined by if we send you on a date
931
00:43:38.559 --> 00:43:40.159
and you say that you like this person and want
932
00:43:40.199 --> 00:43:41.199
to go along a second date with.
933
00:43:41.280 --> 00:43:42.079
Yeah and so.
934
00:43:42.159 --> 00:43:45.280
We're really really proud of how hard we work to
935
00:43:45.599 --> 00:43:49.440
make quality matches for our, members and like our team
936
00:43:49.599 --> 00:43:53.000
is so amazing and we really care about our, members
937
00:43:53.079 --> 00:43:56.679
and so we celebrate all the. Relationships we celebrate everyone
938
00:43:56.719 --> 00:44:01.519
that's like, dating and we you, know we you, know
939
00:44:01.639 --> 00:44:04.519
limit when things don't work out for our members as,
940
00:44:04.559 --> 00:44:07.280
well because like our hearts are truly in the right
941
00:44:07.320 --> 00:44:10.840
place because all of our matchmakers like have there none
942
00:44:10.840 --> 00:44:12.880
of them are full time except for me and my co, founder,
943
00:44:12.960 --> 00:44:15.880
right and so they all do this because they love the,
944
00:44:15.960 --> 00:44:18.320
work Right, like they all do it because like they
945
00:44:18.519 --> 00:44:20.480
they love the mission Of CARPET. Dm they do it
946
00:44:20.480 --> 00:44:22.840
because they Want black women to find their relationships that they.
947
00:44:22.880 --> 00:44:26.559
Deserve and so it's really they have the passion for
948
00:44:26.639 --> 00:44:28.840
what it is that we, do and we really care
949
00:44:28.880 --> 00:44:31.480
about the outcome for the people that join the platform
950
00:44:31.480 --> 00:44:34.559
and the. Service So i'm encouraged by every success. STORY
951
00:44:34.599 --> 00:44:37.079
i can't wait for the First CARPET dm, wedding WHICH
952
00:44:37.079 --> 00:44:39.639
i feel like is so so, flush and the first
953
00:44:39.679 --> 00:44:40.960
carpe A dm. Baby So i'll report.
954
00:44:41.000 --> 00:44:47.400
Back we need more black, marriages we need More black, Families,
955
00:44:47.440 --> 00:44:49.360
Okay so, Yes i'm here for.
956
00:44:49.400 --> 00:44:52.360
It and we have you listed as a resource in
957
00:44:52.400 --> 00:44:56.119
our community for, matchmaking and we link to you guys
958
00:44:56.159 --> 00:44:59.000
BECAUSE i, mean obviously it's different when you know the,
959
00:44:59.000 --> 00:45:01.800
person but also we've had just so many conversations between
960
00:45:01.840 --> 00:45:04.760
you And, dre you And ronda even you know to
961
00:45:04.760 --> 00:45:06.840
see as a good friend of yours and spoke highly of.
962
00:45:06.880 --> 00:45:08.400
You she that was the dating game that she was
963
00:45:08.440 --> 00:45:08.760
a part.
964
00:45:08.679 --> 00:45:10.480
Of, too, Right, OKAY i was, LIKE i want to draw.
965
00:45:10.559 --> 00:45:15.159
One but it's, just you, KNOW i think as long
966
00:45:15.159 --> 00:45:17.960
as our girlies out there are keeping hope alive and
967
00:45:18.159 --> 00:45:22.320
enjoying the process and remembering that like your life doesn't
968
00:45:22.360 --> 00:45:25.199
have to be validated by a, partner like you are
969
00:45:25.360 --> 00:45:28.639
enough and just enjoy the, process enjoy the. Ride he's
970
00:45:28.679 --> 00:45:31.039
gonna come and maybe he, won't you, know and if he,
971
00:45:31.079 --> 00:45:34.440
doesn't what does that? Mean, Right you're still great by, yourself,
972
00:45:34.519 --> 00:45:35.440
Right so just enjoy the.
973
00:45:35.440 --> 00:45:38.199
Process BUT i, mean this is so so.
974
00:45:38.320 --> 00:45:41.599
GOOD i feel LIKE i have one final, question and
975
00:45:41.599 --> 00:45:43.159
it's just Because i'm really, curious.
976
00:45:42.840 --> 00:45:43.920
You, know my marketing.
977
00:45:44.000 --> 00:45:48.880
BRAIN i was, like you mentioned that when your applicants come,
978
00:45:48.920 --> 00:45:51.320
in it's like a one to four and then it's like.
979
00:45:51.280 --> 00:45:52.000
A two to.
980
00:45:52.039 --> 00:45:58.039
One how do you go about marketing matchmaking services specifically to?
981
00:45:58.239 --> 00:46:00.159
Men BECAUSE i, KNOW i know what we got to
982
00:46:00.199 --> 00:46:01.599
do for THE i know what the girls, need but
983
00:46:02.039 --> 00:46:04.000
how do You you were talking about ad, Dollars, like
984
00:46:04.159 --> 00:46:06.559
what do you guys do to get the men to
985
00:46:06.639 --> 00:46:07.280
be a part of the.
986
00:46:07.320 --> 00:46:11.119
Platform, yeah so we do specific campaigns directly to the,
987
00:46:11.239 --> 00:46:15.760
men and so most of those campaigns were evolve around
988
00:46:15.880 --> 00:46:18.400
the quality of the women that are in the, platform,
989
00:46:18.519 --> 00:46:21.400
right and so we just we highlight those. Women we
990
00:46:21.519 --> 00:46:23.880
also just really try to speak to the pain points
991
00:46:23.880 --> 00:46:28.360
that men in particular, Have like men are, lonely, Right
992
00:46:28.480 --> 00:46:31.119
like they don't have the space to be as vulnerable
993
00:46:31.199 --> 00:46:33.079
about what they're going through as like we, do because
994
00:46:33.079 --> 00:46:35.079
we got four the, girls you know What i'm, saying you,
995
00:46:35.119 --> 00:46:37.840
know but the guys don't necessarily all have a support
996
00:46:37.920 --> 00:46:40.079
system like. That and so we try to you, know
997
00:46:40.119 --> 00:46:43.320
talk to them needing a you, know help, helpmate and
998
00:46:43.400 --> 00:46:45.400
like we would be that helpmate to help them find
999
00:46:45.440 --> 00:46:48.320
their forever helpmate to the fact that we know that
1000
00:46:48.360 --> 00:46:50.880
they're lonely and we know that online dating is really
1001
00:46:50.880 --> 00:46:54.000
really tough and. Hard and then we really really focus
1002
00:46:54.079 --> 00:46:56.880
on the quality of the women in our, platform, Right
1003
00:46:56.960 --> 00:47:00.760
like men want to be with amazing women that have
1004
00:47:00.840 --> 00:47:04.079
their lives, together, Right like they want a, partner, right
1005
00:47:04.199 --> 00:47:07.000
not necessarily just a liability or something that looks good
1006
00:47:07.000 --> 00:47:09.920
on their arm that you, know isn't adding any. Value
1007
00:47:10.079 --> 00:47:11.920
and so that's how we really try to speak to the.
1008
00:47:11.960 --> 00:47:13.960
Men and then we try to get men to speak to, men,
1009
00:47:14.480 --> 00:47:17.360
Right like we we work with, partners so we do
1010
00:47:17.400 --> 00:47:20.360
a lot of partnerships with male organizations Like The Black
1011
00:47:20.400 --> 00:47:23.000
Man can in order to kind of just reach more
1012
00:47:23.079 --> 00:47:24.199
men and let them know that we.
1013
00:47:24.280 --> 00:47:28.320
EXIST i love That kumi gets some more coaching for
1014
00:47:28.360 --> 00:47:30.559
the men's pace BECAUSE i.
1015
00:47:30.519 --> 00:47:33.480
Will, say you, know at the last panel event we were,
1016
00:47:33.519 --> 00:47:36.880
at there was this one gentleman who is very. Vocal
1017
00:47:37.039 --> 00:47:40.159
he was obviously very passionate talking about relationships, stuff and
1018
00:47:40.239 --> 00:47:42.519
it's very clear that like he's looking for his, person,
1019
00:47:42.639 --> 00:47:45.079
right and he has all these thoughts and, feelings AND
1020
00:47:45.679 --> 00:47:49.000
i you, know got His instagram AND i was, like oh,
1021
00:47:49.400 --> 00:47:53.800
god this is. Well it just reminded me of how
1022
00:47:53.880 --> 00:47:57.440
much coaching men need from a from a virtual, setting
1023
00:47:57.719 --> 00:48:01.599
because the guy THAT i received in, PERSON i would have.
1024
00:48:01.559 --> 00:48:02.760
Never gotten that from the social.
1025
00:48:02.800 --> 00:48:05.559
Media So i'm, like you're like five steps behind on
1026
00:48:06.199 --> 00:48:10.679
social in regards to who's going to find you, approachable, attractive,
1027
00:48:11.000 --> 00:48:15.159
relatable or just all the. Things AND i was, like you,
1028
00:48:15.159 --> 00:48:17.840
KNOW i started my first business doing insta, makeovers helping
1029
00:48:17.840 --> 00:48:20.880
people like rebrand Their instagram for people to take their business.
1030
00:48:20.880 --> 00:48:22.480
SERIOUSLY i was, like MAYBE i can get into the
1031
00:48:22.519 --> 00:48:27.599
space for helping men with their social footprints to actually
1032
00:48:27.719 --> 00:48:30.960
be somebody that a woman's, like because you do have
1033
00:48:31.039 --> 00:48:33.599
all these dating sites and all these. Platforms but if
1034
00:48:33.639 --> 00:48:35.679
we're swiping like this because you just don't know how
1035
00:48:35.679 --> 00:48:38.320
to take a good, photo that's a whole other. Thing
1036
00:48:38.440 --> 00:48:41.239
but another question just came to mind BECAUSE i just
1037
00:48:41.280 --> 00:48:41.599
mentioned the.
1038
00:48:41.599 --> 00:48:43.039
Photo you guys.
1039
00:48:42.760 --> 00:48:46.440
Actually do a video, first like dating. Experience can you
1040
00:48:46.480 --> 00:48:48.679
talk a little bit about that and like why you
1041
00:48:48.800 --> 00:48:50.679
do that versus just like sending them on a.
1042
00:48:50.760 --> 00:48:50.960
Date.
1043
00:48:51.239 --> 00:48:54.719
Yeah so for, us like we think it's really important
1044
00:48:54.760 --> 00:49:00.679
to meet the person the most convenient but meaning way
1045
00:49:01.039 --> 00:49:03.519
as soon as, possible, Right so we really like to
1046
00:49:03.599 --> 00:49:07.840
catalyze like a in person, meeting but we like we
1047
00:49:08.119 --> 00:49:09.559
know what it's like out, Here like this is a
1048
00:49:09.599 --> 00:49:11.280
part of WHY i was so frustrated with, Dating and
1049
00:49:11.320 --> 00:49:13.639
LIKE i got, DRESS i got, hair, MAKEUP i went
1050
00:49:13.679 --> 00:49:17.320
to this, location pay for. Parking now this man talking
1051
00:49:17.320 --> 00:49:18.559
to me for forty five. Minutes you know What i'm,
1052
00:49:18.559 --> 00:49:21.519
saying Or i've known five minutes in that this is not, it,
1053
00:49:21.840 --> 00:49:23.679
Right and so for, us we're, like we don't need
1054
00:49:23.760 --> 00:49:26.119
to be doing all, that, Right like we have, technology,
1055
00:49:26.280 --> 00:49:29.000
right so but we don't want our members relying on
1056
00:49:29.039 --> 00:49:33.440
texting because that's. Garbage ye's it's really there's no. Connection
1057
00:49:33.480 --> 00:49:35.599
there's no. Connection there's a lot of science behind why
1058
00:49:35.639 --> 00:49:37.840
you should not be using texting and you shouldn't even
1059
00:49:37.880 --> 00:49:40.800
be allowing guys to really court you in those early
1060
00:49:40.880 --> 00:49:42.280
days like using texting.
1061
00:49:42.119 --> 00:49:45.039
Texting no oh, no, yeah it makes total, sense but
1062
00:49:45.400 --> 00:49:45.880
it does make.
1063
00:49:45.920 --> 00:49:49.119
Sense but, like who's like IN i feel like a younger,
1064
00:49:49.159 --> 00:49:53.159
generation like early, thirties guys are all strictly, Texting like
1065
00:49:53.199 --> 00:49:55.760
no one's picking up a. Phone maybe they may face timy,
1066
00:49:56.320 --> 00:50:00.960
maybe but like it's like what you're? Doing when AM?
1067
00:50:00.960 --> 00:50:01.840
I when AM i going to see?
1068
00:50:01.880 --> 00:50:01.960
You?
1069
00:50:02.079 --> 00:50:04.920
Yeah like, no let's push them into a little bit
1070
00:50:04.960 --> 00:50:08.119
more of a meaningful way to engage with. You and
1071
00:50:08.159 --> 00:50:10.599
we can obviously coach one on. That but so, yeah
1072
00:50:10.599 --> 00:50:12.280
once we send you the, match you're matched in the,
1073
00:50:12.320 --> 00:50:14.599
app and then you have seventy two hours to schedule
1074
00:50:14.599 --> 00:50:16.559
your video date and up to one week to host.
1075
00:50:16.599 --> 00:50:20.440
It so if you don't schedule and then it's on both, people,
1076
00:50:20.519 --> 00:50:21.960
Right so.
1077
00:50:21.559 --> 00:50:24.079
It's an actual video, date actual video.
1078
00:50:24.159 --> 00:50:26.920
Date, OH i was thinking it was like you there's
1079
00:50:26.960 --> 00:50:29.280
a video that is shown to the, person and then
1080
00:50:29.320 --> 00:50:30.280
they decide if they.
1081
00:50:30.320 --> 00:50:34.119
Want oh it's a video, date so, yeah so you
1082
00:50:34.119 --> 00:50:35.840
have up to a week to host, it and like
1083
00:50:36.119 --> 00:50:38.000
you get, on the video date has to last at
1084
00:50:38.039 --> 00:50:40.920
least ten minutes or it doesn't. Count and so in
1085
00:50:40.960 --> 00:50:43.800
the video we give you like icebreaker questions to, ask
1086
00:50:44.119 --> 00:50:45.840
like you know you, guys and then at the, end
1087
00:50:45.880 --> 00:50:47.360
if you want to extend, it you can extend it
1088
00:50:47.400 --> 00:50:49.679
beyond the ten. Minutes but ultimately at the end we
1089
00:50:49.719 --> 00:50:51.679
ask both people if you want to remain. Matched so
1090
00:50:52.079 --> 00:50:53.880
only if you both say, yes do we allow you
1091
00:50:54.159 --> 00:50:58.239
to then chat with each. Other otherwise like we unmatch.
1092
00:50:58.280 --> 00:51:01.000
You and when do they have to meet in? Person
1093
00:51:01.320 --> 00:51:01.559
so they.
1094
00:51:01.559 --> 00:51:03.559
Don't we don't make them meet in person, Ever, okay
1095
00:51:03.679 --> 00:51:05.280
so but most of, them, mean these are all grown.
1096
00:51:05.280 --> 00:51:06.639
Adults so most of the, time once they have the
1097
00:51:06.719 --> 00:51:08.920
video date and they want to remain, matched, yep they've
1098
00:51:08.920 --> 00:51:11.760
probably exchanged phone numbers on that, call like, right and
1099
00:51:11.960 --> 00:51:15.079
they've already they're already in the swing of planning, something,
1100
00:51:15.159 --> 00:51:18.000
Right and so sometimes like you, know we'll match someone
1101
00:51:18.039 --> 00:51:19.920
on A, friday they'll go on a video date on A.
1102
00:51:19.960 --> 00:51:22.440
Sunday by the time we close the loop with them
1103
00:51:22.480 --> 00:51:23.920
the following, week they're, like, oh we already went out
1104
00:51:23.960 --> 00:51:28.079
twice and then we're like oh, okay, yeah so once
1105
00:51:28.119 --> 00:51:30.280
you kind of because it's really hard to go someone
1106
00:51:30.280 --> 00:51:32.639
after you video dated chatted with you, right like, ye
1107
00:51:32.719 --> 00:51:35.239
the text thing is kind of like OH i got busy,
1108
00:51:35.639 --> 00:51:38.519
yep and then oh, personal, yeah so, impersonal but like
1109
00:51:38.559 --> 00:51:40.119
once you kind of see that person face to, face
1110
00:51:40.199 --> 00:51:41.920
you guys kiki a little, bit like you see there's.
1111
00:51:41.960 --> 00:51:44.480
Chemistry the natural thing for people is to be, like,
1112
00:51:44.480 --> 00:51:45.280
okay let's go on a.
1113
00:51:45.360 --> 00:51:48.079
DATE i also love that it's a minimum ten minute
1114
00:51:48.119 --> 00:51:50.519
thing because it forces each person to give the other
1115
00:51:50.559 --> 00:51:51.000
person a.
1116
00:51:51.119 --> 00:51:54.280
Chance, yeah SO i love. That oh this is super.
1117
00:51:54.320 --> 00:51:57.280
COOL i WISH i wasn't married ALREADY i could go that.
1118
00:51:57.440 --> 00:52:00.400
WAY i have a lot good.
1119
00:52:00.480 --> 00:52:04.000
FRIENDS i really do think are quite a very eligible,
1120
00:52:04.000 --> 00:52:06.440
women very smart educate LIKE i, mentioned and So i'm
1121
00:52:06.559 --> 00:52:08.880
absolutely going to share this resource.
1122
00:52:08.960 --> 00:52:13.199
We make special for your. Community oh that's.
1123
00:52:13.239 --> 00:52:15.960
Exciting, well tell us like what's next for CARPE Dm
1124
00:52:15.960 --> 00:52:18.199
what is your like long term? Vision is there anything
1125
00:52:18.239 --> 00:52:20.639
excited that we can mark our calendars for that you
1126
00:52:20.679 --> 00:52:21.719
guys have going, On like what's?
1127
00:52:21.719 --> 00:52:24.000
Happening, yeah so we just did The dating game and
1128
00:52:24.119 --> 00:52:26.440
we're gonna do the dating game, again So i'm NOT
1129
00:52:26.480 --> 00:52:28.400
i don't want. To we haven't figured out the exact.
1130
00:52:28.480 --> 00:52:30.800
Date we're trying to do it bigger and. Better so
1131
00:52:31.039 --> 00:52:34.519
if you, applied which so many people, Applied i'm so
1132
00:52:34.519 --> 00:52:36.840
sorry we only had so many spots for the. Show
1133
00:52:36.920 --> 00:52:39.400
but if you, applied we're going to revisit those. Applications
1134
00:52:39.400 --> 00:52:41.400
if you want to, apply you can email ask At
1135
00:52:41.400 --> 00:52:44.119
CARPET Dm dating to be on the next. Show and
1136
00:52:44.159 --> 00:52:48.159
then really for, us we're just super focused on. Expanding
1137
00:52:48.280 --> 00:52:51.039
so we're now. Launched we've been IN, Dc, Maryland virginia
1138
00:52:51.079 --> 00:52:54.440
for the past two, years so we just launched In, Houston,
1139
00:52:54.920 --> 00:53:00.760
atlanta And New. York oh, yes all the best. City
1140
00:53:00.840 --> 00:53:03.920
so if you're In, Houston, Atlanta New, york check us.
1141
00:53:03.920 --> 00:53:07.079
Out we're ramping, up you, know and starting to get
1142
00:53:07.119 --> 00:53:09.679
the applications in and starting to slowly approve people to
1143
00:53:09.719 --> 00:53:12.119
be able to. Join from those locations we've Been we've
1144
00:53:12.199 --> 00:53:14.559
have a lot of people had already applied that we're
1145
00:53:14.599 --> 00:53:16.760
now kind of going through the wait list and kind
1146
00:53:16.760 --> 00:53:19.559
of letting people in and so if you're in that those,
1147
00:53:19.599 --> 00:53:22.480
locations we are now servicing you and you can't apply to.
1148
00:53:22.559 --> 00:53:23.639
Join that is so.
1149
00:53:23.880 --> 00:53:27.400
Exciting, well, girl look if your mama daddy hasn't told you,
1150
00:53:27.480 --> 00:53:28.320
Lately i'm proud of.
1151
00:53:28.360 --> 00:53:32.039
You this is.
1152
00:53:32.119 --> 00:53:36.440
Awesome and The lords literally we just appreciate you and
1153
00:53:36.480 --> 00:53:39.599
your time and you know however we can support.
1154
00:53:39.719 --> 00:53:40.800
You, KNOW i really appreciate.
1155
00:53:40.840 --> 00:53:42.159
You This it has been, awesome does.
1156
00:53:42.800 --> 00:53:45.719
AWESOME i hope the girls find some good gems out of.
1157
00:53:45.719 --> 00:54:00.679
This two