From Consistent Burn Out To Balance w/ Ruby Felstead

Georgia: Hey yeah. Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Far from Average. I am currently in Dubai at the moment, coming to you with the most exciting episode ever. Not only is it an episode from Dubai, but it is also an episode with a guest. A guest of mine who is one of my bestest friends ever and has been on the whole journey with me throughout the last Two what, two years now? Yeah, two years. And I'm just so excited for you guys to have another perspective of her journey, her story, because it's been incredible to witness her grow over the last couple of years and just everything that she's gone through and what she's been able to develop and who she's become in the process of it. And I think just spending some time to understand her story and dive through everything she's had to learn in terms of nervous system, growing a business, getting into sales. You're all gonna get absolutely so much value from it. So I'm so excited. So I will pass you over to Ruby who can introduce herself. Stop. I'm getting emotional. Hi guys. What an absolute pleasure it is to be on here and be able to share more on growing and getting into sales and building a business and just everything that I have learned along the way through that journey from kind of being burnt out all of the time, not looking after my health, not prioritizing myself and thinking that that was gonna be the way I was going to achieve my goals to then actually learning that you can have both, you can have your health just as much as you can have your wealth and I truly actually believe that you can ha you can't have one without the other. I love that. As I said, there's gonna be so much juicy information that you guys are gonna be able to get from this. But yeah, first off, I would just love to run it back, just give everyone a little bit of a background of what did you so you're in for context. Ruby is in High Ticket Sales now. She does network marketing and she is also a gut health and nervous system coach, which is unbelievable. A woman of many talents. But tell everyone, what did you used to do before this? Yeah, so I was actually a dental nurse before I got into building my own business, getting into high-ticket sales. Before I was a dental nurse, I worked in KFC guys, so I I was in the trenches. But all of those things taught me so much about who I am and where I am today. But yeah, so I was a dental nurse before getting into the realm of working for myself. And don't get me wrong, like I genuinely did love the job because I love being on my feet. I love being able to help people. I love being able to, you know, take someone through a transformation, whatever that is. But I just didn't enjoy the lack of freedom that it gave me, the lack of income that it gave me. And I felt so trapped in something that just there was no growth in it. And I think like if a lot of you work the nine to five and you're kind of feeling like that, it can kind of feel, especially when you want to change. Your life, you you have big goals for yourself, it can feel really hard to know where to begin or like where to start or or or where to look. And that was definitely me. I thought that I could build my wealth through just working harder in the nine to five, you know, leveling up my skills. And actually that wasn't getting me anywhere. It was just killing my health and making me burnt out. And so that's when I started to look into the online world and I found Aarbon, which is the network marketing company that I'm partnered with and taught me so much about like the holistic health side of things and really looking after your body, but also what you can create through wealth and through completely changing the way that you look at how you can make money, online money, basically. Okay, yeah, amazing. I love that. So, like, much like myself, Ruby had just clearly decided that she didn't want to live an average life and be stuck in that constant cycle of just trying to, you know, grow your income through a nine to five and just be on a repetitive, like, same daily same daily tasks over and over again every single day. But obviously I want to spend some time on this episode really touching on like the process of How to actually create balance. Because I think a lot of the conversations I've been having with you guys and yeah, just with people in general, when it comes to being ambitious and being highly driven and wanting to achieve great things with your life, that a lot of people end up burning themselves out. They end up getting to a point where you are just so determined to make things happen for yourself that you think that the only way to get to achieving your goals is to just Go and do everything you possibly can with every hour you have under the sun. And a lot of people do that and then kill themselves off in the process of it. But I would really just love for you to kind of run us back to what what do you feel like your mindset was when you first kind of moved into the online industry, even into sales, into network marketing, that was making you feel like you had to like work a specific way to achieve a goal in a certain way? Yeah, that's a really good question. I think I've always been such like a grafter. I've always had a really strong work. I think I've always like had huge things that I wanted to achieve and I think especially with social media, like it definitely gives you that perspective of espe like hustle culture. We've all seen it, we've all been there. And I think for me I was like, Okay, well, from what I have seen and from what I have experienced, the only way that you can achieve your goals is To work every single hour under the sun, like put everything else aside, everything that you love, everything that you enjoy, to just work on this one thing as hard as you possibly can. And if you do that, you will achieve your goals. Like, and that's the only way that you can achieve your goals. And I think also like with the online space as well, it we kind of get this idea that if you do that for a short period of time, you will create everything. In a short period of time. And I think also, guys, like we all think that there's a a golden nugget, there's a there's something out there that means that you don't have to work as hard as everybody else has to achieve the thing that you want to achieve. And actually it's not true. There's no golden nugget, there's no like little secret, like it really is just in the work and growing and building yourself in that process. And I think that's what I felt kind of fell into the trap of as well, was like, well. I just graft and graft and graft, work my ass off as much as I possibly can and you know, put everything else aside, like not see my family, not go traveling, not do these things, and I will create that in the period of time that I wanted to create it in. And actually in that I just completely lost myself, completely lost like what I was actually doing it for, right? and I think as well, like and you know you can speak on this too, is in the network marketing space, it kind of feeds into that as well. Like it's kind of like you like give up this and give up that and like just keep working and working and working. Like you the only thing that you should be thinking about is your business. The only thing that you should be focusing on is like building building network marketing when actually I believe that you can do that and have fun and look after yourself and do all of those things. And I actually think it makes you enjoy the work more. Yeah. A hundred percent. And don't get me wrong, like I really believe there's seasons of sacrifice for everything. Like there has to be seasons of sacrifice because they're especially like say right now you are in a regular job the same way you were. There was a season of sacrifice that Ruby had to go through where she had to give up, you know, the spare time on the top, like the start of her day and the end of her day, like around your job in order to start building what you wanted to build to then be able to leave it. And I had to give up like a season of sacrifice too, like coming into network marketing and then getting into the sales industry of really being determined for a few months to, you know, work as much as I could in order to make things happen. But I also was doing that out of a place again of thinking like if I just go absolutely ham with this for like the next few months and use every possible error I can and just drain myself, then it means I'm I'm gonna be a millionaire in those three months once I've done that. And then all that happened, like don't get me wrong, like I managed to To create change in my life. But I look back now and definitely realize like I could have done it in a way where I maintained the ability to look after myself because that completely went out of the window. And I talk with a lot of the girls now, you know, coming into sales and coming into network marketing and really just doing anything that you have to set boundaries with yourself. Like you understand the seasons of sacrifice and you understand that, you know. You might be going through a period of time right now where your weekends do have to be spent doing the thing that you want to create a new life for yourself. You might not be able to go out and do as much as you want to do with your friends, but you have to have boundaries set in place where you are still looking after yourself, where you're still like setting time aside to just like fill your own cup up, like be away from the current things that you're doing, like switch your mind off. Cause I definitely didn't have any of that. And I think both of us to begin with, we didn't have those boundaries. Like we had no boundaries in place. We were just out here again, like just conforming to everything that you see online. And I think this is the problem, isn't it? And this is what I'm so passionate about is especially young, impressionable women in their twenties who are wanting to create a different life for themselves, who know that they're ambitious. When you do not know who you are and you do not understand your boundaries, what works for you, what you need as a person to feel good, you will continue to just keep building and burning and building and burning. And you literally were like the you were the evidence of that because you just and you kept having to learn the same lesson like over and over and over again. so yeah, what do you feel like it was in that kind of season of time? Obviously, as you said there, you you were just like conforming to hustle culture, thinking that that's what you needed. In order to create the goals that you wanted to have for yourself. But I guess why do you feel like it took you so long to learn that lesson? Like, what do you feel like you were not doing in that period of time that kept leading you to having those burnout episodes? Yeah, good question. To give you some background, guys, like just from what Georgia was saying, like we built our entire friendship off of FaceTime. Yeah. Like the first, like there was a year of time where like we had never, we didn't meet each other, we were just on FaceTime, and like bearing in mind, we both have we Both had this mindset of like building out of hustle culture, right? So we're just like on FaceTime being like, right, like what do we need to do? We need to do this, we need to do that. Like I remember feeding into each other's like absolute craziness of this like mindset, which I think probably didn't help. No, it didn't. Because you'd be I've got these things, yeah, you do, you need to get them all done. Yeah, like what, yeah, literally, it was crazy. it was a wild west, but We've also had to learn those things on that journey. We've kind of gone through it together, which I think is always really nice too. Yeah. but I think the thing the lesson that I had to learn was not listening to myself. Because I think as a woman especially, like you you have the intuition, like you have the thoughts and and you know in your head that what you're doing, like you can hear it and you're gonna you can hear the thoughts in your head going like are we pushing ourselves too hard? Like are is this really like what we want to do? Like all of these things but because I I really had no idea who I was like stepping into building a business. I'd been a dental nurse for so long, like I think I was like twenty one. And I I feel like when you come you come out of school and you you're just kind of trying to figure out what you're doing, y you don't really know who you are truly as a person. And I really didn't know who I was in that time and I was kinda just figuring out like what it is that I enjoyed, what it was that I valued and I think when you're building a business in that too, it's really hard to understand why you're actually building it. And then when you have all of this noise of other people and and why they built it and what they were doing it for and how they did it, you kinda just go, Well, they've done it, so maybe I should just do it like that. And really like then you don't actually understand what you're doing it for and Like what you want from that and what that looks like for you. I definitely didn't, and that's why I fell into that cycle so many times, because I thought that it was all of the external things that I needed to do to become the person that I wanted to be and to build the business that I wanted when really like I wasn't looking inside myself at all. And it was only when I started healing my gut that I truly understood like how much stress and how much pressure I was putting onto myself. Because if anyone who understands gut health or who doesn't, like your nervous system is directly correlated to how to the symptoms that you have with your gut health as well. And like it's it's different for everybody. Like, of course, that's not gonna be the Same for everyone, but I think we live in a society where stress is such a predominant part of your health, and that was what happened to me. Like, I was putting so much stress and so much pressure on myself that it was showing up in like in my body, and it was only when I started to heal my gut and started to understand why I was getting the symptoms that I was getting that I understood that it was my nervous system that was playing a huge part in the way that I was feeling. Honestly, I was healing my gut for two years, and I probably understood. only learned that the last six months because I was like, well I've healed all everything that I need to heal, but I'm still feeling the same way. So it was it was then when I start it when I looked into okay, well I've healed everything, so why am I still feeling the same way? And I understood that it was the stress and the pressure that I was putting on myself from like the bat the outside noise of hustle culture that I was like, okay, well I need to understand why I'm doing this and what I'm doing this for and how I can have both. Like I can have my health and I can have my wealth at the same time and how I can work them together to make sure that I still achieve the things that I want to achieve. Yeah, 100%. No, that's like It's it's it is establishing that 'cause that was the other thing I was just gonna say that to touch on there is I think that well, for me, when I was first starting to understand all of this, it was it still is really difficult for me to wrap my head around it. And I still don't like you laugh at me all the time now because it's like, here she is again, thinking that she doesn't need to rest or she doesn't need to do this, and it's actually understanding that I, as Ruby just said, had to figure out who I was and what mattered to me. Because you can try and build a life that you think that you want, or you can look at other people and see the success that they've created for themselves. And I used to just think that that meant, well, copying everything that they'd done. Because okay, well, successful people have gotten there. So, like, what was the exact route that they took? How did they do that? Like, what did their days look like? What did the tasks look like? What did their life look like? And then I just thought it meant that I had to copy that. in order to get there. But then I started to understand, but if that doesn't happen in a way that I don't enjoy or isn't in alignment with what actually matters to me, what is a value for me in my life, I am going to hate every single moment of it. And this was one of the biggest things for me because when I first came into sales, I just thought, like, okay, I'm gonna lock myself away and grind for a few months. because I knew that that's what the person, like my mentor in this space, had done, and it worked really well from her. But we're two completely different people. But I didn't know myself enough at that period in time to really know, like to know what mattered to me in life. And like a big value of mine is like adventure and experience and being able to have freedom, and which means going around and traveling into Doing other things. And again, there's a period of sacrifice. I can't go away on you know four holidays and expect to hit all of my goals at the same time. But like I got into an industry like this to have freedom and to have experience. So when I really took a step back and I was like, why am I finding this period of time so miserable right now? And like truly not enjoying it and burning myself out in the process, was because the things that I really needed to fill my cup up, like experience, travel, different environments, being around different people. I wasn't allowing myself to have that because in my mind I was like, no, you need to lock yourself in your house, you need to hustle, and you can't build your life and make money at the same time. And when I really took the time to like go inward and again, like you've just said, figure out what actually mattered to me, my values, my principles, it then allowed me to build systems and to build the way I wanted to create success for myself around the things that actually mattered to me. And I think that one of the big things I really leaned. Into now is like sustainable excellence. Is like I've got it written up on my whiteboard at home. I want to build my life through sustainable excellence, meaning I want to hold myself to a high standard to create amazing achievements, to create the life I want to have for myself, to let that inner like drive and work ethic come through, but in a way that is sustainable. Yeah. And I think sustainability is such like a buzzword at the moment that's like thrown around as well. It's like build the sustainable life, the sustainable business. But again. Like nobody actually understands what that looks like for them. Because what's sustainable to somebody else might not be sustainable to you. And it's not really got anything to do with work ethic because Let's be real, if you're listening to a podcast like this, or you're following me or or Ruby on social media, or you're in sales, or you're doing something, you already have a work ethic. You're already stepping outside of average. You're already proving that you want to be quote unquote a high achiever. But you need to find it in a way that's going to be sustainable and like enjoyable for you. So I guess the other thing I would probably say that that people would want to know is when you talked about what you had to do to essentially go inward to like regulate your nervous system and to find out what worked for you so you could get to that point of doing this in a way that was allowing you to have the rest and build like that balance essentially of allowing your drive and work ethic to come through but in a non-burnout way. Like how did you feel like you came around to that point? It's a really good question because I think with anything like that it's it's just said all my questions are good so far. Yeah guys you're listening to the right podcast But it is a good question. I think it's just it's for me, like full transparency, it was just trial and error. Like it was like listening to so many different things and like finding a different perspective. And I think when I say like different perspective, it was like, well, how do I want to build This and for me it was like I want to achieve all of the goals that I have, and I want to achieve everything that I I've set out to achieve, but I want to do it in a way that feels good to me because I think when you're building, like you said, like when you're building something out of sheer like graft, it's just you just hate it. Like you get to the end of it, or like you come out the other side of it and you realize you haven't looked up in three months, and you're like, was that even worth it? Like, did I even have fun? Do I even feel good? Like, am I gonna have at the other side of this something that I actually enjoy? And I think it's also really important in that to be like you have to enjoy what you do every single day in order for it to feel good, right? So if you're building something that you hate Of course, when you get to the top and you've achieved all of the things that you wanted to achieve in inside it, you're gonna get to the top and you're gonna hate it. And when you're building something out of hate and you're building something out of, you know, just just graft and effort all of the time, you're never ever gonna get to a point where you can have both. And I think for me, I just really, really figured out like what was important to me. There's a really good podcast episode by Kelly Paul. We love Kelly. Love Kelly. where she talks you through like self-mastery and understanding your core values and your principles and what you actually value in life. And I think that is was a game-changing thing for me because I knew that I was burning myself out, right? Like I knew that my nervous system was shot to pieces, but I didn't know how to come out of that because I was so used to working in a way that was working against myself. And so I needed a different perspective, I needed a different way of doing things because guys, I was getting up, I was doing the walk, I was doing the meditation, I was journaling and I was doing all of these things, but it wasn't working. And I think when you're doing it because you feel like you have to, it's it's never gonna work. And so I I stopped all of it, I stripped it all back and I genuinely just looked internally and I looked inside myself and I was like, okay, well what do I value? Like what are my core values? What are my principles? Like what how do I want to show up in the thing that I'm building? And like a huge core value for me is my health and freedom. Like they're my two main things that I I really, really prioritize in my life and I'm a huge embodiment of. And for me it was like, okay, well if I want my health and I want freedom Is what I'm building creating that for me? No. Okay, well how do I build that? with whilst still prioritizing my core values and it was understanding what my principles are are in that. And my one thing that I always, always go back to is this bringing me closer or further away from the thing that I want? And so for me, freedom is a huge thing. So I think if you're in sales, like I was actually speaking to a girl at the event this weekend about this and she was like, I'm not sure if like 'cause in sales there's two different ways of working. So you can be a setter, you can be a closer, closer or on like face to face cool setting. You're you have a lot you kind of have more freedom with it, I think. Yeah. and she was like, I'm just not sure if I wanna go into closing because like you know, I kind of feel like that's the next step and I was the same, like I felt like that was the next step, but I was like, actually that's not gonna make me happy and I'm gonna end up burning myself out on it again because I'm gonna have the same perspective, the same mindset of like, I should be doing this because this is gonna get me to where I want to be. But I was like, I'm actually really happy, you know, having more freedom where I can just take calls from anywhere and I can, you know, be working in a way where I can plan my routine a little bit more around the things that I want. Like I I can travel a bit more and not be in a room taking calls. And so that was one thing for me. And it was also understanding, okay, well if my core value is my health, how do I create a routine where I am still working my arse off for my goals? But prioritizing my health in that too and that was practicing presence. And I think we all forget that we are so unbelievably overstimulated in this world, guys. Yeah. Like you're waking up, you're doom scrolling on your phone, you're listening to music, you're turning on the radio, you're putting on the TV before you've even got to work, right? Like imagine how much noise you're already consuming in your mind before you've even sat down to do the thing that you want to achieve and then you wonder why you're like, I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna do that, and then I wanna do this and I wanna do that, and that is the quickest way to get burnt out. But it was like, okay, well, how do I plan my routine around that? So my morning is sacred. Like I do not look at my phone, I do not do anything else, I don't think about work, I don't do anything. Before I have been on a walk and I have done my breath work or a meditation, depending on what you prefer. That is it. That is like my literal gold standard for myself. And then in the evening, like after I have shut my laptop off and I don't look at my phone after 9 pm. And I am fully, fully present in everything. When I I time block my day, I'm fully present in everything that I do. So, you know, if I'm in my work, I'm in my work. I'm not thinking about what I'm having for dinner. I'm not thinking about what I'm gonna do in the gym. I'm not thinking about all of the other things that are going on in my life, my work is my work. And that is honestly the biggest game-changing thing that I have found to not get burnt out. So I used to get burnt out like once every month, if I'm being honest. And then since doing that and understanding how to be present, what my core values are and what I'm actually working towards. I haven't been burnt out in probably like six months. she's a sustainable baddie though. But that doesn't mean I'm not achieving my goals. And I think it's so easy for people to be like, but I've done it myself. Like I'm not working hard enough though. Like I'm not doing enough. I'm not doing enough. I'm not doing enough. Like you can probably relate to that. But it's like, well, have you been intentional with the time that you created and when you look at everything that you said that you were gonna do today, have you ticked that off? Yes, okay, well now it's time for you. It's time for you to show up for yourself too, because rest is part of the work. And without that, like you are going to continue in a cycle of Grafting, grafting, grafting, getting to the top of that feeling burnt out, having to stop and then go back into it. Having to stop and go back into it. So it's like how can I achieve my goals in a way where I'm still showing up for myself but also showing up for the things that I want to achieve? Ten out of ten. That was so good. I love that. But no, it's so true. And I've spoken about this on a previous episode before, especially when it comes to the morning things, like take control of your day before your day controls you. Right, exactly. And it's such a huge thing. And for me, like I used to rush. my god, like I would get up like four minutes before I had to be in work. Like literally four minutes. It would take me two and a half minutes to drive to work. And I would literally roll out of bed four minutes beforehand, throw clothes on as quickly. Yeah, horrible. And then I would like eat breakfast in the car whilst I was driving because my I was just running late everywhere wasn't having any time for myself and then wondering why every single day just felt crazy chaotic and like I wasn't actually being productive. And I think that's the thing again that People struggle so much with is that everyone's busy. Everybody is so busy. There's no there's no taking that away from you. Like life is busy, it's chaotic, and there's lots going on. But are you busy or are you productive? Right, exactly. Because they're they're two completely different things. And busy people burn out and productive people build a life that they love living every single day. and it's it's literally it's it is difficult though, because I think what you touched on there is still something that I struggle so hard with. With at the moment is the whole have I done enough? And am I doing enough? Like I Ruby laughs at me all the time, guys, because I even two weeks ago, like a week ago, sent her my calendar or was just talking about what I had planned to do for the day. And she was like, Wait, how do you think that's even possible? And I spoke about this at the event of the weekend too, when we had someone ask a question similar to this, like the to the topic that we're talking about today. And sometimes I sit down and I'm like, okay, I'm gonna get this done, I'm gonna get that done. And I'm also gonna do this and then I'll have a half an hour break here and then I'll go back into it and I'll do this. And you try and plan your days and your week out like you are a bloody robot. And then it's just it is really difficult. And I think that I'm still, as I said, navigating through this at the moment to be able to plan my calendar calendar out in a way that is actually going to benefit me in the long term, right? It's gonna create that sustainable excellence that I wanna have and continue to keep building towards. And also then getting to the end of the day and not attaching all of my worth to the tasks that I've had on my calendar. And actually being like, okay, did you get three things done today that were important to move you forward? Yes, that is enough. Like you've said, they're like recognizing, okay, that is enough. Shut the laptop down. Go and spend time doing the things that you need to do for yourself. Have that boundary in place to allow you to do that. And the brick, the brick has been a huge. I've spoken about the brick on the podcast already. The brick has changed my life. The brick is such an amazing help for this, but it is it's setting those routines in place. Like you've said, like the morning routine, the evening routine doesn't have to be crazy, doesn't have to take you like 40 hours to. to complete but it is just having that boundary in place to go okay I'm out of work here I'm focusing on me and being present and then when you're in work again like you said you're present and you're on point with that because yeah it is it's it's so difficult and I think that sometimes one thing that I've really started to understand now too is that we look at people who might be 10 steps ahead of where we want to be. And we maybe take a look at all of the things that they're being able to achieve, like all of the posts that they're putting out, all of the communities, the calls, like whatever they're doing, you know, the money they're making. And we forget that, you know, they're at a stage now where they have so many other things in place and systems behind that allow them to have the time to pour into that. So like somebody right now like us who's in a very early stages of starting a business, we don't have the same access to resources and systems as somebody who's further on with a lot more money and a bigger team behind them. So of course they're gonna be able to sit down and take off so many other things on their social on their to-do list for the day because they're not having to factor in all of these other things. Like the more successful you get, the more systems that you have in place to allow you to To be more productive. So it's like give yourself grace in the season that you're in right now to recognize that like you don't have to be doing all the things at once. Yeah. Cause it is, it's really hard. Like, I still sometimes struggle to think that just posting the social media posts that I need to do for the day, having, you know, a couple tasks on my to do list isn't enough. And what I've found is I then end up trying to multitask everything, being across so many different tasks. In one period of time, and then you get to the end of the week, and I'm like, did I actually start and complete anything that moved me forward this week, or did I just get busy and stressed and run around in circles? And then we realize, like, my god, if I had actually just chosen like two things this week that I wanted to move me further, like further towards my goals and really put dedicated time and effort into them, I would have finished the week in a better place. But we just then sit and ruminate in this period of like this isn't enough, this isn't enough, need to do this. need to do that and you just end up then not actually doing the things that you need to do to move you forward. Yeah and I think that's really important what you said there because I think subconscious burnout is a massive thing that we don't talk about enough. I could honestly talk about the nervous system all day. But like I think I used to do this and and this was like my main thing was like I actually audited my my life because I was like when I understood that stress and everything was the reason that I was getting all of the problems that I was having. I was like, okay, I need to audit like what's going on. And I was like, I don't actually do that much in a day. Like I just have my morning routine and then I work and then I go to the gym and I spend time with the people that I care about. Obviously, I was working a little bit too much in the evening and not giving myself time, but I was like, I don't actually really do that much in a day that would require me to. be as burnt out as I am. And it was only when I really understood that like the thoughts that I was thinking all day was actually the thing that was burning me out. Because the way I always describe this to like my clients and people who come to me and to understand more about nervous system is imagine. your phone, right? And you've got all of the tabs up. You've got everything open, right? And they're all running in the background. And they even though your phone might not be on or you might just be on one app, everything else is running in the background. And then you look at your battery life and you're like, why is my phone on ten percent? Because I've only been on Instagram. But it's like it's because all of these other things are running in the background. It's the same for you. Like if you maybe you're just doing your your day to day which really doesn't require you to put that much effort in terms of the things that you're doing. But mentally you're thinking about everything all of the time from the minute you wake up to the minute you go to bed. I need to do this, I need to do that. I need to post on Instagram, I need to do this, blah blah blah. Like that is what like utilizing so much of your energy that you could be putting intentionally into the things that you are doing. And that is how we end up like you said. Getting to the end of the week and being like, did I actually do anything that was gonna move me forward? Because all you're doing is thinking about the things that are gonna move you forward. And so that was a huge thing for me too. And I would like urge you to do that too. When you wake up in the morning, what is the first thing you're thinking about? Like, is it work? Is it negative thoughts? Is it the things that you feel like you can't achieve? Like how are you speaking to yourself when you wake up in the morning? And honestly just f think about that. as you go throughout your day, like really, really go inside and understand like what are the thoughts that you are thinking about all of the time. And I do this with my clients. Like I will literally just get them to spend two weeks really, really like f Becoming aware of the thoughts that you are having in your head. Like I did it myself and all I was thinking about was work. And I was like, well, that's why I'm burnt out all of the time. Because all I am thinking about is work. And even when I was having conversations with other people, I wasn't fully present in the conversation that I was having because I was thinking about work. And then I'm like, I'm not showing up like presently in my life, and that is why I'm so exhausted all of the time. And so now like the the things that I do to be able to move through that and it it takes work, guys, like it's why a lot of people don't do it because it's it's hard and it's and it's effort, but y you say you're burnt out all of the time, how bad do you want to change that, right? So it's like I really, really just like focus when I wake up in the morning, what am what is the first thought that I have that comes into my head? What am I thinking about? Like, am I actually being present in the task that I'm doing and being in the moment in my body or am I just thinking about everything that I've got to do in the day? And that is what I would urge you to do. Just like really, really pay attention to everything that you are thinking about and remind yourself every time you do that to just be where your feet are. Be where you are right now and notice how much time and energy you are wasting on thinking about what is going to happen rather than what is happening right now. Yeah. A hundred and ten percent. Like the The subconscious burnout is not even funny. And I didn't realize how much my brain was everywhere all at the same time. And it's like, you know how you some people say they go to bed in the evening and they're lying there and like their mind starts racing, and all they're doing is they're thinking and they're going through stuff, and you're thinking about what you're doing tomorrow, you're thinking about what you've got to plan next week, about the work tasks you've got to do, about all of these things. And then you realize in that moment in time, like you're using so much energy to do that, and people don't realize. And then you wake up in the morning and you wonder why you already feel exhausted before the day's even started. And it's like because you've just used all of your brain power and all of this energy to run through all of this shit that you do not need to be worrying about because you were not in it at that current moment. I think one time for me I realized I'd emptied my entire dishwasher and I'd made a full content plan in my head for the week. Yeah, it's crazy. And I was like, this isn't okay. Like I'm not sat down at the desk right now asking myself, like, I'm not physically in a content planning block. So I've just used energy in my brain being away from the task that I needed to do whilst I was doing something completely different, had done it, and then was like, how did I like, did I even do that? And you just aren't present in it. And it's then when you go to sit down and do the work you've got to do that you've got no fucking brain power left to do it and you wonder why you find it so difficult. So it's like you have to shut it off. Like when you recognize yourself doing it and you become aware of it, you have to just go, okay, no, I'm where my feet are. What am I doing in this moment? What do I need to think about right now? And if it is not the th if you are not sitting down to do work in that moment in time and all you are thinking about is work, you have to continuously tell yourself over and over again, I'm not working right now. I'm out of office. I'm not working. I'm conscious, I'm present. Like where am I and what is happening in this current moment? And sometimes for me, I have to look out the window and stare at a tree because the trees seem to be the things that make me feel very present. Like I'm massively connected to nature, but looking outside at nature looking up at the sky, looking at trees, like it forces you to be present. Yeah. So if you struggle with overthinking, if you struggle with anxiety, if you struggle with crazy like subconscious thoughts or you feel like you're never fully switching off, you need to find things that you can focus your attention on that will allow you to become present in the moment. And you just have to get aware and like Ruby said, it's hard work and that's the reason why not everybody does it. Because this is just as hard as the the burnout in the work you're constantly doing. So it's like recognizing that and then realizing that you've got a present yourself and you have to take control of it to basically say, okay, no, enough is enough. I'm present right now. I'm where my feet are. but yeah, anyway, guys, we could sit here and honestly talk for ages, but we've got a fly to catch. We're leaving Dubai after the most like insane, incredible weekend we've ever had, like a proper pinch me moment and I feel like I I should do a little Dubai recap on the podcast next week. I'll I'll do an episode on that because my the version of me two and a half years ago sat like looking at me looking at us sat on this couch right now would be in absolute disbelief. Like it actually makes me really emotional. It's crazy. It's so crazy to think about. so yeah, but we as I said, we could be sat here talking for ages, but we really just wanted to spend the time we had together. Cause like Ruby said, our friendship is built off of FaceTime. So it's so good to be in the one environment and I just know that so many of you will have gotten so much friggin' value from your story, what you've just shared there. Cause like, you know, I know that when we've gone through it, other people have gone through it and it's just It's just recognizing that like we're we're all in the same boat again. Like I've said before, we're all experiencing the same life problems, just in different coins and different colors. And just to be able to hear other people's journey and recognize right now that if you are experiencing anything that we've spoken about today and you're like constantly feeling like you're fighting against yourself or you're not, building a life that you truly believe to be sustainably excellent for you, then hopefully this has allowed you to see like you don't have to build it in the same way that somebody else has. And if someone keeps trying to tell you that and they keep trying to force you into this little box, run away from it as quickly as possible because you are your own individual, unique human being who has different values, different principles, and you want a different life to somebody else. And you have the ability to build the life that you truly want in a way that feels aligned for you. So yeah. I don't know if you want to touch on just a brief, maybe quick takeaway before we pop off. And then yeah, say goodbye. Yeah, I was just gonna say that. the biggest thing to take away from this is your health is just important as your wealth and your thoughts and how you are showing up in your day today is probably the thing that is draining your energy the most. The biggest thing that I would say is to understand who you are, what it is that you want and what you want that life that is far from average to look like for you. And don't let anybody tell you that you have to work seven days a week, sixteen hours a day to create it because you can have both of those things. It's just understanding how to build them alongside each other. One hundred percent. Especially if you're a female. Like we're not built to do that. Alex Hermose, pop off. Like you're a king. You've created the most insane life for yourself. But I don't want to work like you. And I've accepted that. Whereas it took me a long time to get here. And I'm okay with that. So yeah. But anyway, thank you so much for listening, guys. As I said, this has just been such an exciting weekend and an amazing episode to sit down and record. So I really would love it if any of you want to share the takeaways you've had. Like I will drop Ruby's Instagram in the link below as well. If you don't follow her on social media, please do. She's Got the best gut health and nervous system tips out there. So she'll be able to help all of you with that. And yeah, please follow, subscribe, rate, share on your Instagram stories. As always, I love hearing from you guys whenever you listen to the podcast. And I will see you in the next episode. Bye guys.