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Susan is not someone you'd expect to be holding herself back. She's an award-winning speaker. Her podcast has been running for years and has picked up its own award. She writes consistently on Substack. From the outside, she looks like someone who has this all figured out.
But underneath all of that, there's a thought that keeps showing up for her. A niggling one. Am I actually good enough? Will people like what I put out?
When we started looking for where that came from, Susan traced it back to something she witnessed years ago: successful speakers whose family lives were falling apart behind the scenes. Somewhere in there, a belief had taken root. If she let herself become more successful, it would cost her the people she loves most.
So that's where we started tapping. But as we got into it, it became clear this wasn't just one fear. It was several, layered on top of each other:
• The fear that more success would get in the way of her relationships with family and friends
• The fear of who she might become, and how her life would change, if she let herself be truly successful
• Guilt at the idea of delegating more and "doing less" herself as her business grew.
One by one, we tapped through each layer. And one by one, Susan realized she didn't need the protection her fear had been offering her. She didn't need to stay small to keep her family close, and she didn't need to earn her success by doing everything herself.
By the end of the session, Susan wasn't just relieved. She was exhilarated, and ready for what's next.
If you've ever felt a version of that niggling thought, wondering if you're allowed to want more, or worried about what it might cost you, watch this episode.
And tap along with Susan and me.
Let’s tap!
—Nancy
TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Overview - Meet Susan
3:15 Exploring Susan's Fear Of A Tradeoff Between Business Success And Relationships
13:06 Tapping On If I'm More Successful It Will Ruin My Family Life
15:59 Is It Really OK To Tap On A Negative?
18:53 Uncovering Susan's Fears Of What Might Happen After Becoming More Successful
29:44 Checking Results - Blocks Down To Zero
IN THI EPISODE
Q: Do Successful People Ever Hold Themselves Back From Greater Success?
A: Everyone has a ceiling on how much success they allow themselves to reach. People who are already successful have a ceiling that is high, but if they want more than they have—whether that's more money, reach, impact, or support—they need to work on their mindset. So yes, successful people are holding themselves back from even greater success, whether or not they are aware of it. The most successful business owners I know are always working on their mindset because they always want to grow.
Q: How Can Beliefs That We Know Aren't True Hold Us Back?
A: First of all, most of us aren't aware of what beliefs we have in our subconscious. We try to take action on our conscious beliefs and desires, but then something gets in the way to keep us exactly where we are. That "something" is a subconscious belief we usually aren't aware of, so we try to use willpower to make a change. But our subconscious's job is to keep us alive. As long as we don't make any changes, it's succeeding. So willpower rarely can override the subconscious.
Even if you know that you've internalized a specific negative belief in your subconscious and you consciously know it's not true, it is still hard for your conscious mind to override that negative belief. No matter how rational or logical or right your conscious mind is, your subconscious will not listen to it without some help.
Many people talk about using repetition by itself—like repeating affirmations every day—to internalize a new positive belief. That can work, but if your subconscious already has an opposing negative belief, it will be hard. Really hard. The negative belief will get triggered and fight back whenever you try to affirm the positive. That's where EFT/Tapping comes in. Tapping makes it much easier to release the negative belief, making room in your subconscious for the positive belief to take root.
About Susan
Susan Friedmann, CSP (Certified Speaking Professional), is a book marketing expert, publisher, speaker, and author who helps nonfiction authors stand out, build authority, and use their books to grow their business. Through Aviva Publishing & Marketing, she has coached hundreds of authors to gain visibility and recognition in their field. Susan is the author of 18 books, including international bestsellers, and host of the award-winning Book Marketing Mentors podcast, ranked among the top 1.5% worldwide. Find out more about Susan at https://avivapubs.com and contact her at susan@avivapubs.com.
New to EFT? Here’s the short version.
EFT, often called Tapping, is a simple but powerful technique that uses gentle tapping on specific acupressure points to calm your nervous system and create rapid shifts in the brain. (Yes, the science backs this up: cortisol levels drop, the amygdala downregulates, and you feel safer.)
People around the world use EFT for everything from emotional healing and chronic pain to confidence, performance, and big goals.
Here on EFT Breakthroughs we use Tapping a little differently. We go after the rules, beliefs, and fears running in your subconscious—so taking action feels easier, cleaner, and faster.
Start here:
Get my free Procrastination Breakthrough Kit to learn the basics of Tapping and lower your resistance to action: https://unblockresults.com/get-nancys-procrastination-breakthrough-kit/
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