WEBVTT
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Welcome back to Dream Big with Amy.
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If you've ever looked at your to do list and felt, this is a lull like, how am I ever going to get through this?
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I want you to feel seen today.
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My guest today is Abigail Gottman.
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She's the founder of Success by Design Training, an award-winning entrepreneur, author, international speaker, high performance coach, working with ambitious entrepreneurs and professionals to get the next level.
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She's the creator of the 888 formula and the host of the time management podcast.
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Wow.
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That is a lot.
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But here's what I love about Abigail.
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She doesn't just teach time management like it's a spreadsheet problem.
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She teaches it like an identity.
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The whole message is that the procrastination, the self-doubt, the weeks that keep repeating itself.
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That's not a character flaw, it's a block.
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And then blocks can be removed.
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Yay! This is exactly the kind of conversations I like to have on this show.
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So Abigail, welcome to Dream Big with Amy.
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I'm so excited to be here.
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Thanks for having me.
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Yay, I'm so excited.
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I know we've had lots of conversations back and forth, and I know you've been in my community.
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So I'm really excited to dive into today.
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And I would love to just start right at the beginning because I think it's really important to share your story and what got you to where you are today in the journey that you are on.
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Amy, I spent over a decade working in financial services marketing.
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I worked in investment management, asset management, a hedge fund, a high street bank until I had a near-death experience in February 2012.
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And this forced me to stop and rethink everything that I thought that I knew.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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I know you've been through the absolute journey, but I would actually, I think obviously your journey and your background, but I also want you to take us through what actually happened and that near death story, because that was the catalyst for everything that changed for you.
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Totally.
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And I'm excited to share all of the bits and all of the lessons.
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Yes.
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So take us back to you, when you're been in the UK, you've done your studying, you went straight into career life.
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Talk to me about that, your journey of that early days.
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Well, I just did what everybody around me did, and maybe your listener will resonate with this.
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People went to university and got a degree.
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So I went to university and got a degree.
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I studied marketing because I absolutely love the brain.
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Why people do what they do.
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So the psychology of buying and why people say one thing and do another, that has been an obsession of mine all my life.
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So I go to university, I get this degree, I finish on the Friday, and I start my first corporate job on the Monday.
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And I walk into this corporate job and I think, well, that's it, I've got my degree, I'm here.
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And my boss at that time said, Okay, you've got in the door.
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Sit down and learn.
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And I wasn't really quite ready for that, but we all we were always a beginner at some point in our life.
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And I did that job, and I was looking for something, Amy.
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Like I felt that it would be a promotion, I felt that it would be a handbag.
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I felt that it would be a party.
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I felt like it would be another job.
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So I spent 10 years going from thing to thing to thing to thing to thing, until one day the boss at my then job said, We're sending you to Boston America on a business trip.
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And I felt like that was it.
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That was the answer.
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Yeah, take us back to that.
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So, what happened?
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You went to Boston, and then what was that?
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What was the journey after that?
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Because I'd been searching, because I'd been asking this question, what is the meaning of life and why am I actually here?
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I in my head was thinking I was here to be successful.
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I was here to be somebody with a business card and on a business class flight and doing all of the things.
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So I arrive in Boston at the top of my game.
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My friend collects me from the airport, takes me to her parents' house.
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We sit down and have dinner, Boston clam chowder.
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I was just so excited by all of the things.
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And I woke up on the Saturday morning with a headache, and I didn't really think anything of it because I'd been drinking on the plane, I'd been drinking with dinner, I'd flown across the world.
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Maybe it was jet lag, maybe it was a hangover.
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But then symptoms started to come in really, really quickly.
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I started to get hot.
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I felt like I needed to be sick, I couldn't get to the bathroom.
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My friend gives me a dustbin, I'm vomiting in the dustbin, and her mum walks past the bedroom door, looks in.
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And just all the feelings, all the shame, everything going through my head of this is terrible.
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I'm a guest in a house and I'm being sick in a dustbin.
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But in fairness to her mum, she said, Are you okay?
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Are you really okay?
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And I told her some of my symptoms, black and white lights flashing in front of my eyes, feeling hot, feeling sick.
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She said, This isn't a migraine, I'm calling an ambulance.
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And Amy, I went down another level of I went down another level of shame.
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I just thought this like could it get any worse now?
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I'm in at their house, I'm being sick in a bin.
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It's eight o'clock in the morning, and now she's calling an ambulance.
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Like, what the hell?
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I am the worst house guest in the world.
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But then minutes later, I'm laying on the bed, I can't breathe, I can't move, and I feel like this is the end, like I am about to die.
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And I hit a door, like a metaphorical death door, and I heard this message we're not ready for you yet.
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Because all I could think in my head was, is this it?
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Am I gonna die?
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Gonna die in my Christmas pajamas, because it was February, I'd taken my Christmas pajamas, in my friend's parents' guest bedroom.
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Wow, what a moment.
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And at that same moment, the ambulance crew came crashing into the room.
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So they physically are carrying me out of the house, into the ambulance, off to the hospital, where they now have to work out what's happened to a healthy 32-year-old woman.
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Wow.
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Yeah, that is that is life-changing right there.
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32, similar age to me.
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And take us what what was that feeling like before you getting on that flight?
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Like, were you feeling the anxiousness?
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Were you feeling overwhelmed?
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Were you stressed with life?
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What were you feeling?
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Before I got on a flight, I had multiple feelings.
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First of all, I had this feeling like I'd made it because I am in the business class lounge walking through, and I just felt like how I thought it would feel when somebody is being flown business class, and now I'm at the top of my game.
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I had my Prada handbag, I had my new clothes on.
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Because you know, we do all of these things where we dress for the part.
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So I literally showed up.
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And in the back of my head, I was obviously running through have I packed everything?
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Have I got everything?
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Have I done everything?
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This is high stakes.
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Now I'm going to a different country, I'm going to meet other colleagues, people are relying on me.
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But I was also in this place of excitement, like this is it.
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This is this is my now this feeling that I've had my whole life of a hole in my soul, like something is missing.
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Now it's gone.
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Now I've made it.
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Do you think the warning signs were there early before this?
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So obviously, what actually happened was I get to the hospital, they do a load of tests, they can't work out, they take me to another hospital, they do more tests, they put me in an MRI scanner, the doctor wakes me up on the Sunday morning, because this is a lot of time in the 3D time world that has gone by.
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The doctor wakes me up on the Sunday morning and says, Ma'am, we've got the results of your test, you've had a stroke.
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And I was just like, Okay.
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Oh, okay, right.
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Yeah, great.
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Great.
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Can I go to work on Monday?
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And he said, No, ma'am, I don't think you understand.
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You had a stroke.
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Yeah.
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And my brain was so much in, well, I didn't die, I've got all these responsibilities, my boss is gonna kill me because I'm not able to go to the meeting.
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What do you mean I can't go to work on Monday?
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And then he said, We need to find out why this happened to make sure it doesn't happen again.
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And that's when something then clicked in my brain of this is serious.
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Yeah.
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Something's actually happened.
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Because I think it's so easy in life to just get sucked into the to-do list and all of the things and all of the people who are reliant on us and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
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And then oh no, rock bottom, something's happened.
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So to answer your question, was I aware of anything?
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So now we know that there was something building.
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Was I aware of anything?
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The week before I'd had a weird headache and a weird feeling and had to go to bed early.
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And Amy, I had called it inconvenient because I didn't have time to be doing this.
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I needed to be prep preparing and I needed to be packing and I needed to be ready, and I probably needed a manicure or a pedicure, like you know, all the things to be ready.
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And what had happened was I'd had what they call a TIA, which is like a mini stroke, and I just ignored it and I just thought it was a headache or whatever.
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But it's only afterwards.
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Now, this happened in February 2012, so this is 15 years later.
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It's only afterwards that I'm able to do the research and look into the things and observe stuff that I had ignored.
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The stroke that I had was um what they call a medical anomaly.
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So it happens to one in a million people, and the doctor described it as bad luck.
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I'd experienced a knock on the neck in my day-to-day life for some reason, and it had caused a blood clot, and the blood clot came off.
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So this is like, oh, okay.
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But then what happened after that was other people saying, Whoa, aren't you lucky?
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It could have happened on the plane, you'd probably have died, it could have happened in the hotel, nobody would have been able to call an ambulance, you'd probably have died.
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It could have happened in the street, and and then you start going, Wow.
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So at the end of the week of them doing all of the tests in the hospital, I was able to walk out of the hospital, get onto the plane, and go home.
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My parents had flown over, so my parents and I were on the plane flying back to the UK.
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Physically, I was okay, but mentally, and this for me has been the journey over the last 14 years: the PTSD, the therapy, the fears, the nervous system dysregulation, the oversensitivity of sensing what's going on in the world and what if I'm on my own, and if I'm on my own, then am I safe?
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Oh, okay.
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So all sorts of things.
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So, what it's done is it's helped me be able to do the work I do today.
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But does that mean that that's the way we wanted it to go?
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And remember when I said, like, I'd been, is this the answer?
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Be careful what you wish for.
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Wow.
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Yeah, I've heard that before.
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Absolutely.
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Be careful what you put out there.
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But I'm really sorry you had to go through something so life-changing to make some changes in your life.
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Did your corporate career kind of finish after that?
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Or what was the transition into what you're doing right now?
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So my company were really good that they um financially supported me to rehabilitate, and there was the option on the table for me to go back.
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So I rehabilitated back to the job because I didn't know anything else.
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But when I got there, I realized I had been given a second chance to do something else.
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But I didn't have a plan, I didn't have anybody else in my life who had been an entrepreneur who was proof at this time to take people back.
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We had Richard Branson, we had a couple of other women who had written books about being entrepreneurs who were multi-millionaires.
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There was no steps, there was no AI that you can build a business overnight.
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Websites weren't really a thing, so it wasn't like there was a clear roadmap of if I don't do this job, then this is what I'm gonna do, and it'll all be fine.
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But all I knew was I couldn't do what I was doing, and they say that the path only becomes clear once you've taken the leap of faith.
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Everybody wants the guarantees, they want the the um the three three steps, and if I do this, this, this, and this, and this will work, and if I pull this hand or ching, all the money's gonna come out.
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It's not how life works.
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No, you take the leap of faith, and then the net appears, but only after you've left.
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But all I can say is it appears, and I have taken leap after leap after leap ever since over the last 14 years, doing things that have been beyond the comfort zone of what I even thought was possible.
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And the solution has appeared, the person has appeared, the money has appeared, the next step has appeared, so it does work, but nothing is apparent before you jump.
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The only thing that you can do is lock into your sense of self, and this is the work for anybody, it starts with you, and I truly, truly believe, and this is like a random story in the whole thing of it, because life gives us lessons on the journey.
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So when I was 19 at university, I was in this nightclub and somebody handed me a post-it note.
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And Amy, 19-year-old me in a nightclub on a Wednesday night, someone hands you a post-it note, it's their phone number.
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Because remember back in the day, mobile phones and things like that.
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Yeah, true.
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So hands me this post-it note, I put it in my handbag, carry on with the night, wake up the next day, emptying my handbag on the floor to see what happened the night before.
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This was in the days when I used to be a really big drinker, haven't drunk for eight years, just for context.
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So when I empty my handbag on the floor, the post-it note floats out.
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And on the post-it note, it says winners find a way.
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And I was like, What?
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This isn't someone's phone number.
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What does this mean?
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Winners find a way.
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So I put this post-it note on my notice board and I carried on with my life.
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And then every time something happened, I remembered winners find a way.
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Find a way, find a way.
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And that has become my mantra for life.
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And I added an extra word to it.
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So I say winners always find a way.
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Yeah.
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And so whenever I've been at the edge of my comfort zone and I've been taking a leap of faith, I have known I will find a way.
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Or the way will appear.
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Yeah.
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It always honestly, like just you know, an angel came out of and gave me a post-it note.
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I've still got the post-it note.
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Yeah.
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That's that's the journey.
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When you start looking back at these moments, you're like, ah, none of this was an accident, right?
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Just like me going through certain things.
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I look back, like maybe the divorce was happening for that, so that I could take that step.
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And like, ah, you're always being prepared.
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Getting ready for that next step, right?
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You're always looking for that.
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And I know you mentioned sense of self, like connecting with self-you're a high-achieving woman.
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So am I.
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This is what we do.
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We we like to do our things, we've got the podcast, we've got everything going on.
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What are you actually doing for connecting personally with yourself and keeping to the essence of who you are, like really that connection, because this is the important step, right?
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When we we have to stay with integrity to ourselves.
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So there's two things that I do.
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One is I have a morning routine.
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And I know everybody talks about the morning routine, but my morning routine is so simple.
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There are five or six different things that I could do, but I trust myself I go with the flow and do the thing that I feel to do on that day.
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So I will always go for a morning walk because it sets our body and our circadian rhythm and helps you to sleep.
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All of that good stuff that I'm sure you talk about on the podcast and in your work regularly, so we won't go there.
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So I do that morning walk.
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I try to find a piece of nature.
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So at the minute we're recording this, it's summertime in the UK, so it's nice to be outside.
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There's a local pond near me, there's some lovely ducks that have had some ducklings, so I will sit and watch these ducklings and I will do a meditation.
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So it's either a guided meditation, um, or I will just sit in silence and just breathe, or I will watch the ducks because watching things is a form of mindfulness meditation.
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So I will do that.
00:18:07.889 --> 00:18:10.129
I I don't make it complicated, Amy.
00:18:10.210 --> 00:18:17.169
I used to think that meditation needed to be a pillow and a place and a how how exactly do I do it?
00:18:17.250 --> 00:18:30.529
Like I needed a plan, and now I just trust the process, and I do that, and then the other thing I do is I always ask what would four-year-old Abigail do, because she was a badass.
00:18:31.970 --> 00:18:37.409
She told everybody what to do, and she knew, and she took no, you know what I mean.
00:18:38.289 --> 00:18:47.409
And so those are like my two things, and then if I ever feel um triggered in life day to day, because a trigger is for us.
00:18:47.569 --> 00:18:56.049
So if someone triggers us, we never say you triggered me, we say, Oh, interesting, that triggered me.
00:18:56.449 --> 00:18:58.529
What is it here to teach me?
00:18:59.009 --> 00:19:07.089
I will sit, I will meditate, I will breathe, and I will take my lessons and be grateful for them as the teacher to me.
00:19:07.730 --> 00:19:13.809
That's taken a long time because obviously society loves it to be someone did something to me.
00:19:14.129 --> 00:19:17.009
If somebody does something to you, you're the victim.
00:19:17.490 --> 00:19:24.929
If somebody does something to you that's for you, you are able to rise and elevate above it.
00:19:25.169 --> 00:19:25.809
Absolutely.
00:19:25.889 --> 00:19:27.169
Yeah, I can totally resonate.
00:19:27.250 --> 00:19:33.730
And I think sometimes things happen, and I always say you're in the mirror, you're in the mirror to whatever that situation is, and look within self.
00:19:33.809 --> 00:19:38.210
And I know so many times we can look for the next relationship or the next money or the next business.
00:19:38.289 --> 00:19:39.329
It's like more, more, more.
00:19:39.409 --> 00:19:44.449
And it's like, have a look, just take a moment from within and that quiet time.
00:19:44.529 --> 00:19:47.250
And I know I'm sure you appreciate quiet time more than ever.
00:19:47.329 --> 00:19:48.289
I know I do.
00:19:48.449 --> 00:19:53.889
It's like the it's how can you create that safety within yourself every single day?
00:19:54.129 --> 00:19:55.250
Um, I love that.
00:19:55.409 --> 00:19:57.409
I mean, I'm just yeah.
00:19:58.049 --> 00:20:06.210
When I understood my human design, oh yes, that helped me to recognize that the quiet time was part of my design.
00:20:06.449 --> 00:20:09.329
So I'm a five-two, and I think we've had a conversation.
00:20:09.490 --> 00:20:12.210
Are you a five-one or a five-three?
00:20:12.289 --> 00:20:13.169
I can't remember.
00:20:13.490 --> 00:20:19.569
So we understand that with the five, this is the the external get-to-work part.
00:20:19.730 --> 00:20:28.129
But the other side for me, the two, is that how do I recharge and how do I spend time on my own and how do I recalibrate?
00:20:28.609 --> 00:20:29.730
Yes, I agree.
00:20:29.809 --> 00:20:31.809
Yeah, human design has been a game changer for me.
00:20:31.889 --> 00:20:36.289
It's like, oh, that's why I want to do everything, you know, and actually understand yourself at a deeper level.
00:20:36.369 --> 00:20:37.329
Yes, it's just a design.
00:20:37.409 --> 00:20:39.250
Yes, astrology is just a part of it.
00:20:39.409 --> 00:20:44.769
But if you can understand yourself maybe at a deeper level there, it starts to change things for me in business in life.
00:20:44.929 --> 00:20:47.889
So for sure, using that to your advantage.
00:20:48.049 --> 00:20:52.529
And I want to talk about your work and what you do now because it's really interesting.
00:20:52.609 --> 00:20:58.129
Because time management, it's like, I feel a bit, you know, when that word comes up, I'm like, oh, time management.
00:20:58.210 --> 00:20:59.889
I'm not sure how I feel about that.
00:21:00.289 --> 00:21:06.769
Not something I'm like really known for, like having that time and what it really means.
00:21:07.009 --> 00:21:12.369
Talk to me about the book and how you really got into all of this because it's really interesting.
00:21:13.490 --> 00:21:26.129
So, Amy, I am here to make a subject that is normally seen as boring, seen as your key to freedom, because your time is your most valuable commodity.
00:21:26.289 --> 00:21:35.809
So I call it time management for SEO reasons, search engine optimization, because people type into the internet time management, and then I come up.
00:21:36.049 --> 00:21:42.449
What I'm really teaching is time mastery, how to master and manage your own time.
00:21:42.849 --> 00:21:49.569
But it starts with a phrase that I feel like I was given at my near-death experience, it's your time.
00:21:50.210 --> 00:21:52.449
And we can say that in two different ways.
00:21:53.089 --> 00:21:58.210
It's your time every single day, 24 hours a day, it is your time.
00:21:58.369 --> 00:21:59.730
Where are you allocating it?
00:21:59.970 --> 00:22:02.049
And then it's your time.
00:22:02.929 --> 00:22:09.730
What hopes, dreams, goals, or aspirations do you have that you want to achieve with the time that you've got?
00:22:10.049 --> 00:22:16.129
So when we start from that place of what do you want, then we can overcome.
00:22:16.289 --> 00:22:17.889
But Abigail, I don't have enough time.
00:22:19.009 --> 00:22:24.609
I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news with this, but I truly believe everyone has enough time.
00:22:25.490 --> 00:22:25.809
Yes.
00:22:26.849 --> 00:22:32.049
And I truly believe everybody has an extra a day at minimum.
00:22:33.089 --> 00:22:36.609
And it might be hiding 15 minutes here, 15 minutes there.
00:22:36.769 --> 00:22:39.809
It might just be that you need to get rid of an app.
00:22:40.049 --> 00:22:45.569
It might be that you have a TV addiction that you don't really fully want to own.
00:22:45.809 --> 00:22:57.009
It might be that you're in other people's business and you need to learn how to mind your own business or mind your own beeswax, whatever is less expensive.
00:22:57.169 --> 00:23:01.490
Because I know that telling someone to mind your own business can come across as rude.
00:23:01.730 --> 00:23:13.409
But when we get, if my time is my commodity and I am not aware of where my time is going, someone else is dictating my life.
00:23:14.769 --> 00:23:19.970
Do I want someone else to dictate my life or do I want to live my life?
00:23:20.210 --> 00:23:24.609
So when we're allocating our time, we are allocating our money.
00:23:24.769 --> 00:23:27.490
When we're allocating our money, we're allocating our time.
00:23:27.730 --> 00:23:34.129
But we chase money, but the fundamental is you will never be able to get your time back.
00:23:34.849 --> 00:23:38.689
Money can buy you time in the now, it can't buy you the past.
00:23:39.250 --> 00:23:44.210
So if you're not on top of your time right now, you are missing out on opportunities.
00:23:44.529 --> 00:23:51.329
People, quite frankly, are not respecting you because people don't really respect people that are not good at managing their time.
00:23:51.569 --> 00:24:00.129
If you're not managing your time, people will start taking it from you because people take what they see you not doing anything with.
00:24:00.689 --> 00:24:05.970
If you're not managing or mastering your time, you won't have the life that you want.
00:24:06.210 --> 00:24:19.250
Because Avigel, I've got this dream that I want to start a business or I want to make more money or I want to grow my side hustle or I want to sell things from my house online and make some fun money, but I don't have time.
00:24:21.329 --> 00:24:22.849
What do you want more?
00:24:23.730 --> 00:24:32.289
The money, the opportunity, and the goal and what that will bring you, or to stay stuck in the excuse because you can't have both.
00:24:33.169 --> 00:24:36.769
So when it came to the time and the time conversation, I'll be very honest.
00:24:36.849 --> 00:24:44.369
When I first wrote the book, I was fresh out of the near-death experience, the corporate, and I was very much like, time, let's manage it.
00:24:44.529 --> 00:24:52.929
And now I come from this place of if you don't know where your time is going, your life is your actions.
00:24:53.649 --> 00:25:02.769
Sorry to be mean, sorry to sound mean, sorry that you're not gonna like to hear this, but you get what you value.
00:25:04.049 --> 00:25:12.049
So if you don't know where your time is going and you haven't done a time audit which sounds boring, how can I make it sound more sexy?
00:25:12.289 --> 00:25:14.689
Time tracking, time monitoring.
00:25:14.849 --> 00:25:16.609
Maybe I need like a rebrand of it.
00:25:16.769 --> 00:25:21.649
I'm super happy for any listeners to say, like, call it this, it would sound sexy.
00:25:21.730 --> 00:25:30.049
Because ultimately, Amy, we're designing your dream schedule, but we can't design your dream schedule if we don't know what's stealing it.
00:25:31.089 --> 00:25:34.129
So we track the time to find the time stealers.
00:25:34.289 --> 00:25:38.210
So maybe it's I don't know, it's called the time stealer assessment.
00:25:39.250 --> 00:25:41.329
Which does sound a bit cheesy.
00:25:41.569 --> 00:25:44.689
Yeah, but you know, marketing's marketing, so yeah.
00:25:44.849 --> 00:25:54.210
It is talk to me about time audits, like what someone who has a business right now and what can they do for the first steps to towards curating this?
00:25:54.369 --> 00:25:58.210
Because time is our most valuable asset, like you said.
00:25:58.289 --> 00:26:01.329
And I think for me, I started realizing like, oh wait, you're doing that for free.
00:26:01.409 --> 00:26:02.849
Oh, wait, you keep giving that away.
00:26:02.929 --> 00:26:07.089
And then now when I look at something, like, is that it within integrity?
00:26:07.169 --> 00:26:09.490
And what does it cost me with my time?
00:26:09.730 --> 00:26:10.929
That was a game changer.
00:26:11.089 --> 00:26:14.289
I was like, oh wait, what have I been doing?
00:26:15.329 --> 00:26:15.970
Yeah.
00:26:16.210 --> 00:26:33.250
So when we're tracking our time, we are looking at what time we go to bed, we're looking at what time we get up, we're looking at what time we eat, and then we're filling in when we're working, what we're working on, who we're working with, where our time is going.
00:26:33.490 --> 00:26:41.649
And unlike lawyers, solicitors, accountants, I advise people to track in 30-minute increments.
00:26:43.169 --> 00:26:52.129
You will then be able to see these are the projects I'm spending time on, these are the activities, these are the people that keep phoning me every day.
00:26:52.289 --> 00:26:53.809
Can I just can I just ask?
00:26:53.970 --> 00:26:54.929
Can I just ask?
00:26:55.409 --> 00:27:04.369
And you realize some of the things that you do are people pleasing because maybe you've got a people-pleasing tendency within you.
00:27:04.529 --> 00:27:06.769
And then this feeds into procrastination.
00:27:06.929 --> 00:27:11.730
So I'm creating at the moment a 21-day procrastination breakthrough challenge.
00:27:12.049 --> 00:27:14.609
Nobody is a procrastinator, Amy.
00:27:15.009 --> 00:27:22.369
Procrastination is the face of a fear, so there's a it, so it's a coping strategy.
00:27:22.929 --> 00:27:28.609
I'm such a procrastinator actually means I'm afraid of what will happen when I do X.
00:27:29.009 --> 00:27:35.809
Like I don't have enough information, I might get promoted and I don't I won't be able to cope with it.
00:27:35.970 --> 00:27:49.569
If I actually do it, people might not like me because people know me as who I am right now, and then as I become more successful, they're not gonna like it, but they want me.
00:27:49.730 --> 00:28:01.490
So it's it's psychology, and when it comes to your business and your time, a book that I will highly, highly recommend, and it took me six years to get recommended this book.
00:28:01.569 --> 00:28:05.089
So if anybody gets it and they're early in their journey, you're welcome.
00:28:05.250 --> 00:28:08.369
It's called Emith Revisited by Michael Gerber.
00:28:08.849 --> 00:28:25.250
When I read this book, I realized that anybody who has had a corporate career or has a subject area of expertise, your natural tendency will be to spend the time doing the thing you like and the thing you're good at.
00:28:25.569 --> 00:28:33.889
When you run a business and you become a business owner, an entrepreneur, whatever you want to call yourself, you are in charge of it all.
00:28:35.649 --> 00:28:40.369
And when it comes to time, then I'm a marketer, so I love doing the marketing.
00:28:40.529 --> 00:28:44.609
But if I'm not doing business development and sales, the business dies.
00:28:45.250 --> 00:28:47.009
So I have to do it all.
00:28:47.169 --> 00:28:57.730
So I'm spending my time marketing, business development, delivering the content for the client, showing up in person things, doing podcasts and doing all of the stuff.
00:28:58.129 --> 00:29:01.009
So then that's why I need to know where my time is going.
00:29:01.490 --> 00:29:04.849
Because am I getting the activities?
00:29:05.089 --> 00:29:07.169
Or Amy, is it just busy work?
00:29:07.889 --> 00:29:12.769
So I get to the end of the week and I say, Oh, I've been so busy this week.
00:29:12.929 --> 00:29:15.569
And it's not about how much money did you make?
00:29:16.129 --> 00:29:19.889
Because that's a mean immediate question.
00:29:20.129 --> 00:29:27.730
It's about are we planting the right seeds in the places and do we still feel aligned with them?
00:29:29.089 --> 00:29:31.009
And can we pull back from some stuff?
00:29:31.169 --> 00:29:33.329
Can we go in on some stuff?
00:29:33.569 --> 00:29:36.049
Why why are we not doing certain things?
00:29:36.210 --> 00:29:38.529
Why are we not speaking to certain people?
00:29:38.849 --> 00:29:43.329
Why are we not putting ourselves out there more, showing up more, being more visible?
00:29:44.289 --> 00:29:45.809
Oh, that's a visibility wound.
00:29:45.889 --> 00:29:50.769
But you only spotted that BS story because you saw what.
00:29:51.970 --> 00:29:56.449
So when I work with my clients, they track the time, we sit down and we talk about it all.
00:29:56.529 --> 00:30:00.689
And I say, You're not wrong, you're not procrastinating, you're not bad.
00:30:01.009 --> 00:30:03.329
You've just hit the edge of your comfort zone.
00:30:04.049 --> 00:30:06.049
Yeah, I can totally resonate with that.
00:30:06.449 --> 00:30:11.009
That next question is do you want to move forward or do you want to stay where you are?
00:30:11.329 --> 00:30:11.569
Yeah.
00:30:11.730 --> 00:30:13.970
And if people want to stay where they are, that's fine.
00:30:14.049 --> 00:30:15.329
That's because it's their life.
00:30:15.490 --> 00:30:19.169
And maybe some people, Amy, they want a business that's a lifestyle.
00:30:19.970 --> 00:30:24.769
Five clients, and I only work two days a week, and and it pays the bills.
00:30:25.009 --> 00:30:29.089
Or maybe other people want to impact the lives of millions.
00:30:29.169 --> 00:30:31.089
It there's no good or bad.
00:30:31.490 --> 00:30:33.409
They're just what do you want?
00:30:33.809 --> 00:30:43.329
And so many people can't answer that question because they have all sorts of I'm not allowed to, it's shameful, people like me, rich people.
00:30:43.569 --> 00:30:45.009
This is a big one at the moment.
00:30:45.169 --> 00:30:46.609
Who are the fat cats?
00:30:47.970 --> 00:30:52.369
You know, people talk about rich people and they say, Oh, you know, the rich people, the fat cats.
00:30:53.409 --> 00:31:10.129
No, so you want to run your business and make money, but you don't want to be a fat cat because that's the story you've got in your head about rich people, and so then you start to unpick it and say, just money, it's just a business.
00:31:10.289 --> 00:31:11.569
What's the drama?
00:31:11.809 --> 00:31:13.009
Who is a fat cat?
00:31:13.089 --> 00:31:16.369
And then and then that all those beliefs collapse.
00:31:16.529 --> 00:31:19.889
Yes, and you can be who you came here to be.
00:31:20.049 --> 00:31:21.889
So is it about time?
00:31:22.689 --> 00:31:25.169
Yes, but is it really about time?
00:31:25.490 --> 00:31:31.169
It's about the excuses that are hiding behind your excuse if I don't have enough time.
00:31:31.809 --> 00:31:35.089
Yeah, I can totally fear to see that.
00:31:35.250 --> 00:31:36.449
Yeah, exactly.
00:31:36.769 --> 00:31:40.769
Which comes into the work that you do, which is a dysregulated nervous system.
00:31:41.409 --> 00:31:43.169
Yes, yeah, it is.
00:31:43.250 --> 00:31:44.929
It's about keeping that grounded.
00:31:45.089 --> 00:31:49.970
You know, when you're building the business, it's like, how can it be I'm more about like how can it be sustainable over the long term?
00:31:50.049 --> 00:31:50.369
It's great.
00:31:50.449 --> 00:31:52.210
We can all work 70 hours a week if we want to.
00:31:52.449 --> 00:31:53.730
I don't want to work 70 hours a week.
00:31:53.809 --> 00:31:56.129
I have no intentions of working 70 hours a week.
00:31:56.289 --> 00:31:58.129
That's not why I built this, right?
00:31:58.369 --> 00:32:02.609
Um, so it's like kind of what have you created around that time is is everything, right?
00:32:02.689 --> 00:32:05.569
Because we have a limited amount of time for the rest of our lives.
00:32:05.730 --> 00:32:09.569
Maybe you've been through things where you think, is it really that big of a deal?
00:32:09.730 --> 00:32:10.049
Right?
00:32:10.210 --> 00:32:11.250
Something didn't go right.
00:32:11.409 --> 00:32:18.210
Okay, well, we're gonna deal with it, you know, and and time is your greatest, you know, that that is what you have.
00:32:18.369 --> 00:32:20.929
So value your time like it's everything.
00:32:21.169 --> 00:32:25.970
And the big thing is if you've got a big goal for your business, then you need to bring on a team.
00:32:26.210 --> 00:32:28.210
You need to bring in other people.
00:32:28.449 --> 00:32:34.049
So those 70 hours that are needed to build that business are not all you.
00:32:34.609 --> 00:32:46.609
But if you're stopping yourself from bringing on the team and from bringing people in part-time because this is what we all do in the early days, then the question isn't about time.
00:32:46.769 --> 00:32:50.369
The question is, what is the fear behind me?
00:32:50.529 --> 00:32:52.210
Do I believe in the dream?
00:32:52.289 --> 00:32:52.929
Is this the right?
00:32:53.169 --> 00:32:56.289
And so it's all psychology and your nervous system.
00:32:56.369 --> 00:32:59.250
I'd just love to talk about this because it's the work you do.
00:32:59.490 --> 00:33:17.889
I heard somebody say if you have a big goal and a big dream for your business, your nervous system is going to be dysregulated because you are always living at the edge, you are always going somewhere that's unknown, and the fight, flight, fear, freeze, fawn, all of those things are being triggered.
00:33:18.049 --> 00:33:25.329
Yeah, your job isn't to say, Oh, my nervous system is dysregulated, this is bad, I need to stop.
00:33:25.569 --> 00:33:28.849
Your job is to say, How can I make this normal?
00:33:30.449 --> 00:33:57.250
Because we can either live in the comfort zone and nothing happens, or we can live in the stretch zone and we normalize these new feelings, and these new feelings are normal, but you only can validate all of that by hanging out with people who are doing the same, and that's why podcasts like this are amazing, that's why your environment matters, that's why communities, you're such an incredible community builder.
00:33:57.490 --> 00:34:06.369
That's why all of this is necessary if you are going to move house from your comfort zone to your stretch zone.
00:34:06.529 --> 00:34:14.690
Your stretch zone then becomes your new comfort zone, and you are forever expanding, like the universe is expanding.
00:34:15.570 --> 00:34:16.289
Exactly.
00:34:16.449 --> 00:34:17.409
Yeah, absolutely.
00:34:17.570 --> 00:34:19.409
I can totally see that.
00:34:19.570 --> 00:34:23.889
I only really started to expand when I left my hometown, when I started to get around people.
00:34:23.970 --> 00:34:35.889
I was like, oh, wait, I got to 28 and realized there's another way to live life, but I had to really step out of what everything I'd ever known to see what's possible.
00:34:35.969 --> 00:34:46.849
It's like peeking behind the curtain, they say, you know, you look around and you're like, oh, oh wait, just for the context of this conversation, it doesn't make where you are wrong.
00:34:47.009 --> 00:34:51.090
No, it just makes it what it is.
00:34:51.969 --> 00:34:57.170
If you want to see different things, you need to leave what you know.
00:34:57.489 --> 00:35:09.969
When I went to Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, Australia, Japan, and went on this tour like Southeast Asia tour, every single country I saw lots of different things.
00:35:10.210 --> 00:35:19.009
And it presented lots of different problems, and there were different currencies, different languages, different cultures, different ways, different food, day after day after day.
00:35:20.049 --> 00:35:23.090
And it doesn't mean that what we're doing back home is wrong.
00:35:23.170 --> 00:35:24.929
It doesn't mean that what they're doing is wrong.
00:35:25.090 --> 00:35:27.489
There isn't a right or a wrong, there just is.
00:35:28.849 --> 00:35:31.250
And it's an experience, and it's like cooking.
00:35:31.409 --> 00:35:37.250
Yeah, everybody loves your mum's favourite meal, your dad's favorite meal.
00:35:37.489 --> 00:35:49.650
But that doesn't mean that we can't add, I don't know, more tomatoes to that bolognese sauce or to that lasagna, or take out the cheese, or add in a different type of cheese.
00:35:49.809 --> 00:35:58.449
It's just we're here once, Amy, and I think this is what my near-death experiencing to me was this is my second life.
00:35:58.610 --> 00:36:16.929
And if my job can be to encourage others to just take a step outside the comfort zone and hang out with other people who have courageously done it like yourself, doesn't need to be a stroke, it can be a divorce, it can be a redundancy, it can be your own illness, it can be someone else's illness, it can be something on the news.
00:36:17.009 --> 00:36:27.170
If you have had an awakening to, I wonder if my message to anybody is get in the water.
00:36:27.329 --> 00:36:28.769
But Abigail, is it deep?
00:36:28.849 --> 00:36:29.650
Is it cold?
00:36:29.809 --> 00:36:30.769
Can I swim?
00:36:31.009 --> 00:36:32.449
You'll find a way.
00:36:32.690 --> 00:36:34.529
And by the way, we're all in here.
00:36:34.610 --> 00:36:39.170
And if we see you drink your rubber ring, you'll be fine.
00:36:39.489 --> 00:36:40.130
Exactly.
00:36:40.369 --> 00:36:41.650
Yeah, it is literally.
00:36:41.730 --> 00:36:45.090
I mean, I have a friend who is all about talking about taking the leap.
00:36:45.170 --> 00:36:46.130
That is her thing, right?
00:36:46.210 --> 00:36:48.929
And I'm like, oh, it is about taking that leap.
00:36:49.090 --> 00:36:50.369
And yes, it's scary.
00:36:50.449 --> 00:36:54.849
Yes, there's fear, there's blocks, that's why we work on what we do, you know, and the coaching that we have.
00:36:55.090 --> 00:36:57.170
Um, but you just have to do it, right?
00:36:57.250 --> 00:36:59.489
The the fear is always going to be there.
00:36:59.650 --> 00:37:01.969
It's about taking that step, and you definitely have.
00:37:02.210 --> 00:37:16.769
And I guess I'd like to ask you personally, like, what is a belief about success that you had before you started this journey that you've completely let go of since now being a business owner for 14 years or however long it's been.
00:37:17.250 --> 00:37:26.130
I used to think that success was having all the things, doing all the things, being all the things, and being able to shout about it.
00:37:26.289 --> 00:37:38.289
Now I realize that success is the ability to love yourself and to love others and to understand that everything is energy and what you want wants you.
00:37:38.610 --> 00:37:41.569
And so success isn't what do I need to do?
00:37:41.650 --> 00:37:42.449
What do I need to do?
00:37:42.529 --> 00:37:43.650
What do I need to do?
00:37:43.889 --> 00:37:45.409
It's who do I need to be?
00:37:46.130 --> 00:37:51.090
And if I don't love myself, and believe me, before I really didn't.
00:37:51.250 --> 00:37:52.369
I hated myself.
00:37:52.529 --> 00:37:55.969
I thought it was everything else outside of me that I needed.
00:37:56.849 --> 00:38:06.289
And the irony is what you want comes to you when you stop needing to have it.
00:38:06.449 --> 00:38:13.730
Like the relationship, and I'm gonna die alone, and I'm never gonna make it, and these people aren't gonna want to work with me.
00:38:13.969 --> 00:38:16.529
My answer to any client is it's done.
00:38:17.009 --> 00:38:18.769
Yabba, no, it's done.
00:38:19.009 --> 00:38:20.369
Yabba, no, it's done.
00:38:21.969 --> 00:38:30.529
And then the work is the yab up because the doubt is the gap between it's done and what am I doing?
00:38:30.690 --> 00:38:41.489
And so just to be clear, it's not that we meditate and the gold lands on our head, it's that we meditate, we become, and then we take the guided, inspired action.
00:38:42.289 --> 00:38:44.610
Am I ready to do this podcast today?
00:38:44.929 --> 00:38:46.449
Do I have all my ducks?
00:38:46.529 --> 00:38:51.090
You know, I could doubt every single thing, or I could just do it and figure it out.
00:38:52.610 --> 00:38:54.049
Yeah, I agree.
00:38:54.289 --> 00:38:58.049
Removing the doubts, removing the weeds of the mind of like actually letting it go.
00:38:58.210 --> 00:39:02.690
That's one thing is like learning to let go, something I've had to really tap into.
00:39:02.849 --> 00:39:05.569
And knowing that that big vision is out there for you.
00:39:05.650 --> 00:39:07.650
You know, you've been implanted with the vision, haven't you?
00:39:07.809 --> 00:39:09.329
Like we all have a vision for the future.
00:39:09.489 --> 00:39:11.170
Mine is different to yours, right?
00:39:11.489 --> 00:39:19.009
But learning to lean into it, you know, we are the only beings on earth who have this like creativity aspect.
00:39:19.809 --> 00:39:20.849
Use it, right?
00:39:20.929 --> 00:39:23.969
I'm sure you look at the things you've created, look at the book behind you.
00:39:24.130 --> 00:39:25.489
That was a vision.
00:39:25.889 --> 00:39:26.529
You did it.
00:39:26.929 --> 00:39:44.369
I always wanted to write a book, and then I found someone who'd written a load of books, and I invested money and time to work with them to learn the process, and now I've gone on to do two more myself and supported two other authors to do it, and I'm working on my new book.
00:39:44.610 --> 00:39:49.090
And what you want is possible, what anybody wants.
00:39:49.170 --> 00:39:56.529
So, anybody who's listening, your job is to sit, get a piece of paper right now, and write out what you want.
00:39:56.849 --> 00:40:03.009
I want, and there's this whole thing about now, you've got to write it in the right words and blah blah blah.
00:40:03.489 --> 00:40:16.049
If you can't even answer the question of what you want, because you have been told wanting is bad and you're not allowed to want, don't worry about the language of the right way to manifest yet.
00:40:16.849 --> 00:40:18.130
Just hear yourself.
00:40:18.289 --> 00:40:31.969
If you can't even hear yourself trying to perfect the whole, well, how's it gonna come down from the universe, Abigail, Amy, if I don't, you know, write the right words and I haven't written it 500 times.
00:40:34.130 --> 00:40:40.210
Just know that all of these people are selling you their process, and the way is through you.
00:40:40.529 --> 00:40:41.489
You are it.
00:40:42.529 --> 00:40:54.210
The minute you allow yourself to want what you want and stop shaming yourself, and you're allowed to have it, and it's safe to have it, and it's your time to have it, that's when everything changes.
00:40:54.449 --> 00:40:55.170
It does indeed.
00:40:55.329 --> 00:40:57.569
Yeah, I mean, I think me and you are living proof of this.
00:40:57.650 --> 00:40:59.809
We can really honestly talk openly about it.
00:40:59.889 --> 00:41:02.929
That's why I have the podcast is what that really looks like.
00:41:03.009 --> 00:41:07.809
And I do believe, you know, we mean you are nervous system, we talk about it, the regulation aspect.
00:41:07.969 --> 00:41:12.210
You've got to feel calm and grounded in who you are, be the version of that self.
00:41:12.369 --> 00:41:16.369
Like, you know, you it's also that limited beliefs, and then becoming that.
00:41:16.449 --> 00:41:19.009
I'm like, okay, this is who I am, and that's what I want to be.
00:41:19.170 --> 00:41:20.369
But powerful work.
00:41:20.449 --> 00:41:25.090
And I know you're you speak, you've got the podcast, you've got the you've got so much going on.
00:41:25.250 --> 00:41:32.289
Tell me how you manage all of your day-to-day, I know you're in time management, but what is it that really truly lights you up and keeps you going?
00:41:32.769 --> 00:41:36.130
Well, this is the thing to say into this whole conversation.
00:41:36.369 --> 00:41:39.489
And even though we're on this journey doing the things, we're not perfect.
00:41:39.809 --> 00:41:40.130
Absolutely.
00:41:40.849 --> 00:41:50.849
What keeps me going and what helps me to do everything is to constantly question does this feel like the next thing that I'm meant to do?
00:41:50.929 --> 00:41:58.929
So I've had a podcast for a couple of years that I put on pause because I didn't feel like I was able to keep having the conversation.
00:41:59.090 --> 00:41:59.889
It's coming back.
00:41:59.969 --> 00:42:01.170
Is it the right thing?
00:42:01.409 --> 00:42:05.569
Podcasts are an investment of time, money, effort.
00:42:06.289 --> 00:42:10.610
But I trust myself, I feel like it's right.
00:42:11.250 --> 00:42:20.130
And when it comes to every single decision, at some point in time, the right decision is just the decision you make.
00:42:21.569 --> 00:42:25.009
And then how you deal with it is the outcome of it.
00:42:25.489 --> 00:42:30.690
But if you're always aware of your time and you're always asking yourself, could I do this in a different way?
00:42:31.009 --> 00:42:32.130
Is there a new system?
00:42:32.369 --> 00:42:33.329
Is there a new person?
00:42:33.489 --> 00:42:36.769
Is there somebody who could support me a way that could help me?
00:42:37.730 --> 00:42:50.769
That, you know, or maybe for me, just full transparency, when I did my podcast before, I think I had a bit of a perfectionist in me that needed the episodes to be done in a certain way and done to a certain way.
00:42:51.009 --> 00:42:56.210
And that really took up a lot of time and a lot of mental thought.
00:42:57.090 --> 00:42:57.969
Absolutely.
00:42:58.210 --> 00:43:00.049
It takes time, everything takes time.
00:43:00.130 --> 00:43:06.369
And I think on this journey that we are on, and knowing that yes, we don't have everything figured out, I always reiterate that.
00:43:06.449 --> 00:43:08.449
Like I'm on the journey of life, just like you are.
00:43:08.529 --> 00:43:18.130
I know I'm early on in my journey of entrepreneurship for sure, and building the business, but remembering I think the key is remembering, I know you touched on it, it's like who you are.
00:43:18.369 --> 00:43:21.329
Who are you like underneath all of this, you know?
00:43:21.650 --> 00:43:34.369
And my one of my final questions before we we close up is what is like a big dream that you have in your life right now, it could be in business or in personal, like what you really wanting to bring through.
00:43:34.849 --> 00:43:41.009
My big dream at the minute is to take the work that I do around the world and to take it on tour.
00:43:41.409 --> 00:43:51.889
So I want to share the content in different parts of the country, meet people, answer questions, and go on a book tour.
00:43:51.969 --> 00:43:54.289
But I also want to do it with other people.
00:43:54.449 --> 00:43:56.690
This is my crazy big idea.
00:43:56.849 --> 00:44:03.650
And someone said I don't understand how it could work, Abigail, and I said, it's not for you to understand, it's it's my dream and my vision.
00:44:03.889 --> 00:44:16.849
But I would like to be doing this with others who are coming on the tour with their own work because although we may all say similar things, different people resonate with different people's messages.
00:44:17.090 --> 00:44:21.889
But if there's a band of you going around and doing it all together, it's fun.
00:44:21.969 --> 00:44:28.929
And I feel like the next chapter for the world and for all of us is to do stuff that's fun, do stuff that's exciting.
00:44:29.250 --> 00:44:30.529
Yeah, that sounds amazing.
00:44:30.610 --> 00:44:33.329
I think that would absolutely change the game.
00:44:33.409 --> 00:44:36.690
I think there's so much that we can do online like this, absolutely amazing.
00:44:36.769 --> 00:44:44.690
But if there is a different, like when you're in person and you get that energy from them, people it's it's life-changing.
00:44:44.769 --> 00:44:53.329
I know I've been to my first like of events this year, and I noticed the capabilities and what you can really allow your mind to go there.
00:44:53.409 --> 00:44:55.969
So I think that would be a great thing to do.
00:44:56.049 --> 00:44:58.769
Uh, we need more of that, we need more fun in our lives.
00:44:59.009 --> 00:45:03.889
And I guess the final thing would be if somebody wanted to work with you, where would they find you?
00:45:04.049 --> 00:45:04.849
What can they do?
00:45:05.009 --> 00:45:09.889
Like, what is your your coaching all about, and how can they um connect?
00:45:10.369 --> 00:45:13.250
So I hang out on LinkedIn, that's where we connected.
00:45:13.329 --> 00:45:19.650
I am Abigail Barnes on LinkedIn, and on Instagram, I am Abigail Barnes on Instagram.
00:45:20.289 --> 00:45:23.889
So that is those are the two best places to find me.
00:45:24.049 --> 00:45:30.369
And the people that I work with are ambitious, they're successful, but they know there is more.
00:45:30.690 --> 00:45:37.809
So they're ready for more, they're slightly scared, but they also have a feeling that the clock is ticking on their life.
00:45:37.889 --> 00:45:41.329
And if they were to go right now, they haven't done what they came here to do.
00:45:41.569 --> 00:45:43.090
Those are my people.
00:45:44.449 --> 00:45:45.489
Yeah, definitely.
00:45:45.650 --> 00:45:46.769
Yeah, amazing work.
00:45:46.929 --> 00:45:56.049
And anyone to I will put everything below for your book as well, and and the podcast when you're ready to get going again, because I'm sure it's uh another powerful lots of episodes there as well.
00:45:56.130 --> 00:45:57.809
So I guess for me, thank you so much.
00:45:57.889 --> 00:46:04.929
Thank you for being so open on it and sharing your story because I know even like one conversation can change somebody's life.
00:46:05.009 --> 00:46:07.329
You know, something in what you said, something you resonated.
00:46:07.409 --> 00:46:11.889
I know you're really good at the stories, which I was like intrigued at what you say next.
00:46:12.049 --> 00:46:14.849
So thank you so much for doing that.
00:46:15.489 --> 00:46:22.369
Thank you for having me, and thank you for sharing this platform and this content and this proof with the world.
00:46:22.690 --> 00:46:23.650
You're so welcome.
00:46:23.730 --> 00:46:25.650
Yeah, and thank you to anyone who is listening today.
00:46:25.730 --> 00:46:36.690
And if anything that we have said, either of us that resonates with you, reach out to us, ask us a question, you know, be open and curious and remember that where you are right now does not define the rest of your life.
00:46:36.769 --> 00:46:39.329
You know, you can make big changes today, tomorrow.
00:46:39.569 --> 00:46:44.769
Start looking at what's holding you back, look at them fears and knowing that you can make that change.
00:46:44.849 --> 00:46:48.130
You're, you know, mine and Abigail's story is just one of many.
00:46:48.289 --> 00:46:50.929
You know, we've decided to take the leaps, we've done the things.
00:46:51.170 --> 00:46:51.889
Are we perfect?
00:46:52.049 --> 00:46:54.049
No, but we're moving through our journeys in life.
00:46:54.210 --> 00:46:57.009
So come and find me, come and find Abigail, say hi.
00:46:57.250 --> 00:47:02.849
But until next time, as always, keep dreaming big, and I'll see you in the next episode.
00:00:25.409 --> 00:00:26.849
Welcome back to Dream Big with Amy.
00:00:26.929 --> 00:00:32.049
If you've ever looked at your to do list and felt, this is a lull like, how am I ever going to get through this?
00:00:32.210 --> 00:00:33.729
I want you to feel seen today.
00:00:33.890 --> 00:00:35.810
My guest today is Abigail Gottman.
00:00:36.289 --> 00:00:46.929
She's the founder of Success by Design Training, an award-winning entrepreneur, author, international speaker, high performance coach, working with ambitious entrepreneurs and professionals to get the next level.
00:00:47.090 --> 00:00:51.890
She's the creator of the 888 formula and the host of the time management podcast.
00:00:52.129 --> 00:00:52.450
Wow.
00:00:52.849 --> 00:00:53.649
That is a lot.
00:00:53.729 --> 00:00:55.170
But here's what I love about Abigail.
00:00:55.409 --> 00:00:59.250
She doesn't just teach time management like it's a spreadsheet problem.
00:00:59.489 --> 00:01:01.250
She teaches it like an identity.
00:01:01.489 --> 00:01:06.049
The whole message is that the procrastination, the self-doubt, the weeks that keep repeating itself.
00:01:06.129 --> 00:01:07.890
That's not a character flaw, it's a block.
00:01:07.969 --> 00:01:09.569
And then blocks can be removed.
00:01:09.650 --> 00:01:13.250
Yay! This is exactly the kind of conversations I like to have on this show.
00:01:13.329 --> 00:01:15.810
So Abigail, welcome to Dream Big with Amy.
00:01:16.129 --> 00:01:17.810
I'm so excited to be here.
00:01:17.890 --> 00:01:18.930
Thanks for having me.
00:01:19.090 --> 00:01:20.370
Yay, I'm so excited.
00:01:20.449 --> 00:01:23.890
I know we've had lots of conversations back and forth, and I know you've been in my community.
00:01:23.969 --> 00:01:25.650
So I'm really excited to dive into today.
00:01:25.729 --> 00:01:34.609
And I would love to just start right at the beginning because I think it's really important to share your story and what got you to where you are today in the journey that you are on.
00:01:35.969 --> 00:01:40.689
Amy, I spent over a decade working in financial services marketing.
00:01:40.849 --> 00:01:49.010
I worked in investment management, asset management, a hedge fund, a high street bank until I had a near-death experience in February 2012.
00:01:49.170 --> 00:01:56.370
And this forced me to stop and rethink everything that I thought that I knew.
00:01:56.849 --> 00:01:57.969
Yeah, absolutely.
00:01:58.049 --> 00:02:11.649
I know you've been through the absolute journey, but I would actually, I think obviously your journey and your background, but I also want you to take us through what actually happened and that near death story, because that was the catalyst for everything that changed for you.
00:02:13.009 --> 00:02:13.730
Totally.
00:02:13.810 --> 00:02:18.289
And I'm excited to share all of the bits and all of the lessons.
00:02:18.849 --> 00:02:19.329
Yes.
00:02:19.490 --> 00:02:26.289
So take us back to you, when you're been in the UK, you've done your studying, you went straight into career life.
00:02:26.370 --> 00:02:29.969
Talk to me about that, your journey of that early days.
00:02:30.769 --> 00:02:36.050
Well, I just did what everybody around me did, and maybe your listener will resonate with this.
00:02:36.209 --> 00:02:38.370
People went to university and got a degree.
00:02:38.449 --> 00:02:40.769
So I went to university and got a degree.
00:02:40.850 --> 00:02:45.250
I studied marketing because I absolutely love the brain.
00:02:46.370 --> 00:02:47.969
Why people do what they do.
00:02:48.050 --> 00:02:55.490
So the psychology of buying and why people say one thing and do another, that has been an obsession of mine all my life.
00:02:55.569 --> 00:03:02.850
So I go to university, I get this degree, I finish on the Friday, and I start my first corporate job on the Monday.
00:03:03.009 --> 00:03:07.250
And I walk into this corporate job and I think, well, that's it, I've got my degree, I'm here.
00:03:07.410 --> 00:03:11.410
And my boss at that time said, Okay, you've got in the door.
00:03:11.649 --> 00:03:13.410
Sit down and learn.
00:03:13.889 --> 00:03:21.329
And I wasn't really quite ready for that, but we all we were always a beginner at some point in our life.
00:03:21.569 --> 00:03:25.649
And I did that job, and I was looking for something, Amy.
00:03:26.050 --> 00:03:31.329
Like I felt that it would be a promotion, I felt that it would be a handbag.
00:03:31.410 --> 00:03:33.089
I felt that it would be a party.
00:03:33.250 --> 00:03:35.569
I felt like it would be another job.
00:03:35.730 --> 00:03:48.689
So I spent 10 years going from thing to thing to thing to thing to thing, until one day the boss at my then job said, We're sending you to Boston America on a business trip.
00:03:49.170 --> 00:03:50.930
And I felt like that was it.
00:03:51.170 --> 00:03:52.449
That was the answer.
00:03:53.490 --> 00:03:54.930
Yeah, take us back to that.
00:03:55.009 --> 00:03:55.569
So, what happened?
00:03:55.730 --> 00:03:57.250
You went to Boston, and then what was that?
00:03:57.329 --> 00:03:58.930
What was the journey after that?
00:03:59.649 --> 00:04:07.089
Because I'd been searching, because I'd been asking this question, what is the meaning of life and why am I actually here?
00:04:07.810 --> 00:04:12.290
I in my head was thinking I was here to be successful.
00:04:12.449 --> 00:04:19.089
I was here to be somebody with a business card and on a business class flight and doing all of the things.
00:04:19.250 --> 00:04:22.449
So I arrive in Boston at the top of my game.
00:04:22.610 --> 00:04:26.209
My friend collects me from the airport, takes me to her parents' house.
00:04:26.529 --> 00:04:29.969
We sit down and have dinner, Boston clam chowder.
00:04:30.129 --> 00:04:32.610
I was just so excited by all of the things.
00:04:32.769 --> 00:04:43.409
And I woke up on the Saturday morning with a headache, and I didn't really think anything of it because I'd been drinking on the plane, I'd been drinking with dinner, I'd flown across the world.
00:04:43.569 --> 00:04:46.849
Maybe it was jet lag, maybe it was a hangover.
00:04:47.810 --> 00:04:51.490
But then symptoms started to come in really, really quickly.
00:04:51.649 --> 00:04:53.009
I started to get hot.
00:04:53.409 --> 00:04:57.009
I felt like I needed to be sick, I couldn't get to the bathroom.
00:04:57.169 --> 00:05:03.649
My friend gives me a dustbin, I'm vomiting in the dustbin, and her mum walks past the bedroom door, looks in.
00:05:05.569 --> 00:05:11.729
And just all the feelings, all the shame, everything going through my head of this is terrible.
00:05:11.889 --> 00:05:14.689
I'm a guest in a house and I'm being sick in a dustbin.
00:05:15.169 --> 00:05:19.409
But in fairness to her mum, she said, Are you okay?
00:05:19.569 --> 00:05:20.370
Are you really okay?
00:05:20.529 --> 00:05:26.370
And I told her some of my symptoms, black and white lights flashing in front of my eyes, feeling hot, feeling sick.
00:05:26.529 --> 00:05:29.490
She said, This isn't a migraine, I'm calling an ambulance.
00:05:29.729 --> 00:05:36.050
And Amy, I went down another level of I went down another level of shame.
00:05:36.209 --> 00:05:39.649
I just thought this like could it get any worse now?
00:05:39.810 --> 00:05:42.449
I'm in at their house, I'm being sick in a bin.
00:05:42.529 --> 00:05:45.329
It's eight o'clock in the morning, and now she's calling an ambulance.
00:05:45.409 --> 00:05:46.370
Like, what the hell?
00:05:46.529 --> 00:05:48.689
I am the worst house guest in the world.
00:05:50.050 --> 00:06:00.609
But then minutes later, I'm laying on the bed, I can't breathe, I can't move, and I feel like this is the end, like I am about to die.
00:06:01.409 --> 00:06:10.769
And I hit a door, like a metaphorical death door, and I heard this message we're not ready for you yet.
00:06:11.250 --> 00:06:14.129
Because all I could think in my head was, is this it?
00:06:14.370 --> 00:06:15.409
Am I gonna die?
00:06:15.729 --> 00:06:23.250
Gonna die in my Christmas pajamas, because it was February, I'd taken my Christmas pajamas, in my friend's parents' guest bedroom.
00:06:24.689 --> 00:06:26.289
Wow, what a moment.
00:06:26.769 --> 00:06:32.209
And at that same moment, the ambulance crew came crashing into the room.
00:06:32.689 --> 00:06:43.889
So they physically are carrying me out of the house, into the ambulance, off to the hospital, where they now have to work out what's happened to a healthy 32-year-old woman.
00:06:44.209 --> 00:06:44.849
Wow.
00:06:46.050 --> 00:06:48.769
Yeah, that is that is life-changing right there.
00:06:48.930 --> 00:06:50.849
32, similar age to me.
00:06:51.169 --> 00:06:55.569
And take us what what was that feeling like before you getting on that flight?
00:06:55.649 --> 00:06:57.490
Like, were you feeling the anxiousness?
00:06:57.649 --> 00:06:58.689
Were you feeling overwhelmed?
00:06:58.769 --> 00:06:59.889
Were you stressed with life?
00:07:00.050 --> 00:07:01.569
What were you feeling?
00:07:02.209 --> 00:07:04.689
Before I got on a flight, I had multiple feelings.
00:07:04.849 --> 00:07:21.329
First of all, I had this feeling like I'd made it because I am in the business class lounge walking through, and I just felt like how I thought it would feel when somebody is being flown business class, and now I'm at the top of my game.
00:07:21.409 --> 00:07:24.289
I had my Prada handbag, I had my new clothes on.
00:07:24.370 --> 00:07:28.529
Because you know, we do all of these things where we dress for the part.
00:07:29.009 --> 00:07:31.490
So I literally showed up.
00:07:32.689 --> 00:07:36.449
And in the back of my head, I was obviously running through have I packed everything?
00:07:36.609 --> 00:07:37.250
Have I got everything?
00:07:37.409 --> 00:07:38.209
Have I done everything?
00:07:38.370 --> 00:07:39.569
This is high stakes.
00:07:39.649 --> 00:07:45.089
Now I'm going to a different country, I'm going to meet other colleagues, people are relying on me.
00:07:45.329 --> 00:07:51.009
But I was also in this place of excitement, like this is it.
00:07:51.169 --> 00:07:58.209
This is this is my now this feeling that I've had my whole life of a hole in my soul, like something is missing.
00:07:58.769 --> 00:08:00.209
Now it's gone.
00:08:00.449 --> 00:08:02.129
Now I've made it.
00:08:03.810 --> 00:08:07.889
Do you think the warning signs were there early before this?
00:08:09.009 --> 00:08:30.289
So obviously, what actually happened was I get to the hospital, they do a load of tests, they can't work out, they take me to another hospital, they do more tests, they put me in an MRI scanner, the doctor wakes me up on the Sunday morning, because this is a lot of time in the 3D time world that has gone by.
00:08:30.529 --> 00:08:35.649
The doctor wakes me up on the Sunday morning and says, Ma'am, we've got the results of your test, you've had a stroke.
00:08:37.009 --> 00:08:41.570
And I was just like, Okay.
00:08:42.930 --> 00:08:44.370
Oh, okay, right.
00:08:44.690 --> 00:08:45.649
Yeah, great.
00:08:45.970 --> 00:08:46.289
Great.
00:08:46.529 --> 00:08:47.810
Can I go to work on Monday?
00:08:48.610 --> 00:08:52.289
And he said, No, ma'am, I don't think you understand.
00:08:54.129 --> 00:08:55.330
You had a stroke.
00:08:55.730 --> 00:08:55.970
Yeah.
00:08:56.529 --> 00:09:05.810
And my brain was so much in, well, I didn't die, I've got all these responsibilities, my boss is gonna kill me because I'm not able to go to the meeting.
00:09:06.129 --> 00:09:08.370
What do you mean I can't go to work on Monday?
00:09:08.530 --> 00:09:13.090
And then he said, We need to find out why this happened to make sure it doesn't happen again.
00:09:14.290 --> 00:09:19.330
And that's when something then clicked in my brain of this is serious.
00:09:19.570 --> 00:09:19.889
Yeah.
00:09:20.610 --> 00:09:22.370
Something's actually happened.
00:09:22.610 --> 00:09:32.129
Because I think it's so easy in life to just get sucked into the to-do list and all of the things and all of the people who are reliant on us and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
00:09:32.450 --> 00:09:37.889
And then oh no, rock bottom, something's happened.
00:09:38.129 --> 00:09:41.490
So to answer your question, was I aware of anything?
00:09:41.730 --> 00:09:45.170
So now we know that there was something building.
00:09:45.330 --> 00:09:46.610
Was I aware of anything?
00:09:46.850 --> 00:09:52.210
The week before I'd had a weird headache and a weird feeling and had to go to bed early.
00:09:52.290 --> 00:09:59.570
And Amy, I had called it inconvenient because I didn't have time to be doing this.
00:09:59.730 --> 00:10:09.250
I needed to be prep preparing and I needed to be packing and I needed to be ready, and I probably needed a manicure or a pedicure, like you know, all the things to be ready.
00:10:09.730 --> 00:10:18.450
And what had happened was I'd had what they call a TIA, which is like a mini stroke, and I just ignored it and I just thought it was a headache or whatever.
00:10:18.610 --> 00:10:19.810
But it's only afterwards.
00:10:19.889 --> 00:10:23.810
Now, this happened in February 2012, so this is 15 years later.
00:10:24.050 --> 00:10:31.330
It's only afterwards that I'm able to do the research and look into the things and observe stuff that I had ignored.
00:10:31.730 --> 00:10:36.930
The stroke that I had was um what they call a medical anomaly.
00:10:37.090 --> 00:10:42.129
So it happens to one in a million people, and the doctor described it as bad luck.
00:10:42.290 --> 00:10:51.650
I'd experienced a knock on the neck in my day-to-day life for some reason, and it had caused a blood clot, and the blood clot came off.
00:10:51.970 --> 00:10:55.009
So this is like, oh, okay.
00:10:55.889 --> 00:11:00.210
But then what happened after that was other people saying, Whoa, aren't you lucky?
00:11:00.450 --> 00:11:08.129
It could have happened on the plane, you'd probably have died, it could have happened in the hotel, nobody would have been able to call an ambulance, you'd probably have died.
00:11:08.530 --> 00:11:13.250
It could have happened in the street, and and then you start going, Wow.
00:11:14.770 --> 00:11:22.610
So at the end of the week of them doing all of the tests in the hospital, I was able to walk out of the hospital, get onto the plane, and go home.
00:11:22.770 --> 00:11:28.370
My parents had flown over, so my parents and I were on the plane flying back to the UK.
00:11:28.610 --> 00:11:51.090
Physically, I was okay, but mentally, and this for me has been the journey over the last 14 years: the PTSD, the therapy, the fears, the nervous system dysregulation, the oversensitivity of sensing what's going on in the world and what if I'm on my own, and if I'm on my own, then am I safe?
00:11:51.250 --> 00:11:51.889
Oh, okay.
00:11:52.210 --> 00:11:53.490
So all sorts of things.
00:11:53.570 --> 00:11:58.850
So, what it's done is it's helped me be able to do the work I do today.
00:11:59.250 --> 00:12:03.250
But does that mean that that's the way we wanted it to go?
00:12:03.570 --> 00:12:07.250
And remember when I said, like, I'd been, is this the answer?
00:12:07.490 --> 00:12:09.490
Be careful what you wish for.
00:12:10.930 --> 00:12:11.410
Wow.
00:12:11.650 --> 00:12:12.930
Yeah, I've heard that before.
00:12:13.090 --> 00:12:13.490
Absolutely.
00:12:13.570 --> 00:12:14.850
Be careful what you put out there.
00:12:14.930 --> 00:12:21.009
But I'm really sorry you had to go through something so life-changing to make some changes in your life.
00:12:21.250 --> 00:12:24.370
Did your corporate career kind of finish after that?
00:12:24.450 --> 00:12:27.330
Or what was the transition into what you're doing right now?
00:12:27.970 --> 00:12:36.610
So my company were really good that they um financially supported me to rehabilitate, and there was the option on the table for me to go back.
00:12:36.690 --> 00:12:41.650
So I rehabilitated back to the job because I didn't know anything else.
00:12:41.970 --> 00:12:48.050
But when I got there, I realized I had been given a second chance to do something else.
00:12:49.490 --> 00:12:59.570
But I didn't have a plan, I didn't have anybody else in my life who had been an entrepreneur who was proof at this time to take people back.
00:13:00.050 --> 00:13:07.810
We had Richard Branson, we had a couple of other women who had written books about being entrepreneurs who were multi-millionaires.
00:13:08.370 --> 00:13:14.290
There was no steps, there was no AI that you can build a business overnight.
00:13:14.530 --> 00:13:25.570
Websites weren't really a thing, so it wasn't like there was a clear roadmap of if I don't do this job, then this is what I'm gonna do, and it'll all be fine.
00:13:26.050 --> 00:13:37.330
But all I knew was I couldn't do what I was doing, and they say that the path only becomes clear once you've taken the leap of faith.
00:13:37.490 --> 00:13:49.009
Everybody wants the guarantees, they want the the um the three three steps, and if I do this, this, this, and this, and this will work, and if I pull this hand or ching, all the money's gonna come out.
00:13:49.650 --> 00:13:51.410
It's not how life works.
00:13:51.650 --> 00:13:58.850
No, you take the leap of faith, and then the net appears, but only after you've left.
00:13:58.930 --> 00:14:12.770
But all I can say is it appears, and I have taken leap after leap after leap ever since over the last 14 years, doing things that have been beyond the comfort zone of what I even thought was possible.
00:14:13.570 --> 00:14:23.009
And the solution has appeared, the person has appeared, the money has appeared, the next step has appeared, so it does work, but nothing is apparent before you jump.
00:14:24.690 --> 00:14:43.090
The only thing that you can do is lock into your sense of self, and this is the work for anybody, it starts with you, and I truly, truly believe, and this is like a random story in the whole thing of it, because life gives us lessons on the journey.
00:14:43.250 --> 00:14:48.930
So when I was 19 at university, I was in this nightclub and somebody handed me a post-it note.
00:14:49.090 --> 00:14:56.210
And Amy, 19-year-old me in a nightclub on a Wednesday night, someone hands you a post-it note, it's their phone number.
00:14:57.090 --> 00:15:00.370
Because remember back in the day, mobile phones and things like that.
00:15:00.850 --> 00:15:01.250
Yeah, true.
00:15:01.970 --> 00:15:12.530
So hands me this post-it note, I put it in my handbag, carry on with the night, wake up the next day, emptying my handbag on the floor to see what happened the night before.
00:15:12.850 --> 00:15:18.050
This was in the days when I used to be a really big drinker, haven't drunk for eight years, just for context.
00:15:18.850 --> 00:15:23.009
So when I empty my handbag on the floor, the post-it note floats out.
00:15:23.410 --> 00:15:25.970
And on the post-it note, it says winners find a way.
00:15:26.610 --> 00:15:28.290
And I was like, What?
00:15:28.770 --> 00:15:30.610
This isn't someone's phone number.
00:15:30.850 --> 00:15:32.050
What does this mean?
00:15:32.610 --> 00:15:33.730
Winners find a way.
00:15:34.129 --> 00:15:39.570
So I put this post-it note on my notice board and I carried on with my life.
00:15:39.650 --> 00:15:44.690
And then every time something happened, I remembered winners find a way.
00:15:45.009 --> 00:15:46.930
Find a way, find a way.
00:15:47.250 --> 00:15:49.410
And that has become my mantra for life.
00:15:49.490 --> 00:15:51.009
And I added an extra word to it.
00:15:51.090 --> 00:15:53.330
So I say winners always find a way.
00:15:53.490 --> 00:15:53.970
Yeah.
00:15:54.290 --> 00:16:03.090
And so whenever I've been at the edge of my comfort zone and I've been taking a leap of faith, I have known I will find a way.
00:16:03.810 --> 00:16:05.650
Or the way will appear.
00:16:05.970 --> 00:16:06.530
Yeah.
00:16:06.770 --> 00:16:15.570
It always honestly, like just you know, an angel came out of and gave me a post-it note.
00:16:15.730 --> 00:16:17.090
I've still got the post-it note.
00:16:17.330 --> 00:16:17.810
Yeah.
00:16:17.970 --> 00:16:19.090
That's that's the journey.
00:16:19.170 --> 00:16:23.730
When you start looking back at these moments, you're like, ah, none of this was an accident, right?
00:16:23.889 --> 00:16:25.330
Just like me going through certain things.
00:16:25.410 --> 00:16:28.690
I look back, like maybe the divorce was happening for that, so that I could take that step.
00:16:28.770 --> 00:16:32.050
And like, ah, you're always being prepared.
00:16:34.129 --> 00:16:36.610
Getting ready for that next step, right?
00:16:36.690 --> 00:16:38.530
You're always looking for that.
00:16:38.610 --> 00:16:42.530
And I know you mentioned sense of self, like connecting with self-you're a high-achieving woman.
00:16:42.610 --> 00:16:43.090
So am I.
00:16:43.250 --> 00:16:43.970
This is what we do.
00:16:44.050 --> 00:16:47.570
We we like to do our things, we've got the podcast, we've got everything going on.
00:16:47.730 --> 00:16:58.770
What are you actually doing for connecting personally with yourself and keeping to the essence of who you are, like really that connection, because this is the important step, right?
00:16:58.930 --> 00:17:03.570
When we we have to stay with integrity to ourselves.
00:17:04.450 --> 00:17:06.289
So there's two things that I do.
00:17:06.450 --> 00:17:08.369
One is I have a morning routine.
00:17:09.009 --> 00:17:14.049
And I know everybody talks about the morning routine, but my morning routine is so simple.
00:17:14.210 --> 00:17:22.849
There are five or six different things that I could do, but I trust myself I go with the flow and do the thing that I feel to do on that day.
00:17:23.089 --> 00:17:29.970
So I will always go for a morning walk because it sets our body and our circadian rhythm and helps you to sleep.
00:17:30.049 --> 00:17:35.089
All of that good stuff that I'm sure you talk about on the podcast and in your work regularly, so we won't go there.
00:17:35.329 --> 00:17:37.169
So I do that morning walk.
00:17:37.490 --> 00:17:39.569
I try to find a piece of nature.
00:17:39.649 --> 00:17:44.689
So at the minute we're recording this, it's summertime in the UK, so it's nice to be outside.
00:17:44.849 --> 00:17:53.169
There's a local pond near me, there's some lovely ducks that have had some ducklings, so I will sit and watch these ducklings and I will do a meditation.
00:17:53.250 --> 00:18:06.369
So it's either a guided meditation, um, or I will just sit in silence and just breathe, or I will watch the ducks because watching things is a form of mindfulness meditation.
00:18:06.449 --> 00:18:07.730
So I will do that.
00:18:07.889 --> 00:18:10.129
I I don't make it complicated, Amy.
00:18:10.210 --> 00:18:17.169
I used to think that meditation needed to be a pillow and a place and a how how exactly do I do it?
00:18:17.250 --> 00:18:30.529
Like I needed a plan, and now I just trust the process, and I do that, and then the other thing I do is I always ask what would four-year-old Abigail do, because she was a badass.
00:18:31.970 --> 00:18:37.409
She told everybody what to do, and she knew, and she took no, you know what I mean.
00:18:38.289 --> 00:18:47.409
And so those are like my two things, and then if I ever feel um triggered in life day to day, because a trigger is for us.
00:18:47.569 --> 00:18:56.049
So if someone triggers us, we never say you triggered me, we say, Oh, interesting, that triggered me.
00:18:56.449 --> 00:18:58.529
What is it here to teach me?
00:18:59.009 --> 00:19:07.089
I will sit, I will meditate, I will breathe, and I will take my lessons and be grateful for them as the teacher to me.
00:19:07.730 --> 00:19:13.809
That's taken a long time because obviously society loves it to be someone did something to me.
00:19:14.129 --> 00:19:17.009
If somebody does something to you, you're the victim.
00:19:17.490 --> 00:19:24.929
If somebody does something to you that's for you, you are able to rise and elevate above it.
00:19:25.169 --> 00:19:25.809
Absolutely.
00:19:25.889 --> 00:19:27.169
Yeah, I can totally resonate.
00:19:27.250 --> 00:19:33.730
And I think sometimes things happen, and I always say you're in the mirror, you're in the mirror to whatever that situation is, and look within self.
00:19:33.809 --> 00:19:38.210
And I know so many times we can look for the next relationship or the next money or the next business.
00:19:38.289 --> 00:19:39.329
It's like more, more, more.
00:19:39.409 --> 00:19:44.449
And it's like, have a look, just take a moment from within and that quiet time.
00:19:44.529 --> 00:19:47.250
And I know I'm sure you appreciate quiet time more than ever.
00:19:47.329 --> 00:19:48.289
I know I do.
00:19:48.449 --> 00:19:53.889
It's like the it's how can you create that safety within yourself every single day?
00:19:54.129 --> 00:19:55.250
Um, I love that.
00:19:55.409 --> 00:19:57.409
I mean, I'm just yeah.
00:19:58.049 --> 00:20:06.210
When I understood my human design, oh yes, that helped me to recognize that the quiet time was part of my design.
00:20:06.449 --> 00:20:09.329
So I'm a five-two, and I think we've had a conversation.
00:20:09.490 --> 00:20:12.210
Are you a five-one or a five-three?
00:20:12.289 --> 00:20:13.169
I can't remember.
00:20:13.490 --> 00:20:19.569
So we understand that with the five, this is the the external get-to-work part.
00:20:19.730 --> 00:20:28.129
But the other side for me, the two, is that how do I recharge and how do I spend time on my own and how do I recalibrate?
00:20:28.609 --> 00:20:29.730
Yes, I agree.
00:20:29.809 --> 00:20:31.809
Yeah, human design has been a game changer for me.
00:20:31.889 --> 00:20:36.289
It's like, oh, that's why I want to do everything, you know, and actually understand yourself at a deeper level.
00:20:36.369 --> 00:20:37.329
Yes, it's just a design.
00:20:37.409 --> 00:20:39.250
Yes, astrology is just a part of it.
00:20:39.409 --> 00:20:44.769
But if you can understand yourself maybe at a deeper level there, it starts to change things for me in business in life.
00:20:44.929 --> 00:20:47.889
So for sure, using that to your advantage.
00:20:48.049 --> 00:20:52.529
And I want to talk about your work and what you do now because it's really interesting.
00:20:52.609 --> 00:20:58.129
Because time management, it's like, I feel a bit, you know, when that word comes up, I'm like, oh, time management.
00:20:58.210 --> 00:20:59.889
I'm not sure how I feel about that.
00:21:00.289 --> 00:21:06.769
Not something I'm like really known for, like having that time and what it really means.
00:21:07.009 --> 00:21:12.369
Talk to me about the book and how you really got into all of this because it's really interesting.
00:21:13.490 --> 00:21:26.129
So, Amy, I am here to make a subject that is normally seen as boring, seen as your key to freedom, because your time is your most valuable commodity.
00:21:26.289 --> 00:21:35.809
So I call it time management for SEO reasons, search engine optimization, because people type into the internet time management, and then I come up.
00:21:36.049 --> 00:21:42.449
What I'm really teaching is time mastery, how to master and manage your own time.
00:21:42.849 --> 00:21:49.569
But it starts with a phrase that I feel like I was given at my near-death experience, it's your time.
00:21:50.210 --> 00:21:52.449
And we can say that in two different ways.
00:21:53.089 --> 00:21:58.210
It's your time every single day, 24 hours a day, it is your time.
00:21:58.369 --> 00:21:59.730
Where are you allocating it?
00:21:59.970 --> 00:22:02.049
And then it's your time.
00:22:02.929 --> 00:22:09.730
What hopes, dreams, goals, or aspirations do you have that you want to achieve with the time that you've got?
00:22:10.049 --> 00:22:16.129
So when we start from that place of what do you want, then we can overcome.
00:22:16.289 --> 00:22:17.889
But Abigail, I don't have enough time.
00:22:19.009 --> 00:22:24.609
I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news with this, but I truly believe everyone has enough time.
00:22:25.490 --> 00:22:25.809
Yes.
00:22:26.849 --> 00:22:32.049
And I truly believe everybody has an extra a day at minimum.
00:22:33.089 --> 00:22:36.609
And it might be hiding 15 minutes here, 15 minutes there.
00:22:36.769 --> 00:22:39.809
It might just be that you need to get rid of an app.
00:22:40.049 --> 00:22:45.569
It might be that you have a TV addiction that you don't really fully want to own.
00:22:45.809 --> 00:22:57.009
It might be that you're in other people's business and you need to learn how to mind your own business or mind your own beeswax, whatever is less expensive.
00:22:57.169 --> 00:23:01.490
Because I know that telling someone to mind your own business can come across as rude.
00:23:01.730 --> 00:23:13.409
But when we get, if my time is my commodity and I am not aware of where my time is going, someone else is dictating my life.
00:23:14.769 --> 00:23:19.970
Do I want someone else to dictate my life or do I want to live my life?
00:23:20.210 --> 00:23:24.609
So when we're allocating our time, we are allocating our money.
00:23:24.769 --> 00:23:27.490
When we're allocating our money, we're allocating our time.
00:23:27.730 --> 00:23:34.129
But we chase money, but the fundamental is you will never be able to get your time back.
00:23:34.849 --> 00:23:38.689
Money can buy you time in the now, it can't buy you the past.
00:23:39.250 --> 00:23:44.210
So if you're not on top of your time right now, you are missing out on opportunities.
00:23:44.529 --> 00:23:51.329
People, quite frankly, are not respecting you because people don't really respect people that are not good at managing their time.
00:23:51.569 --> 00:24:00.129
If you're not managing your time, people will start taking it from you because people take what they see you not doing anything with.
00:24:00.689 --> 00:24:05.970
If you're not managing or mastering your time, you won't have the life that you want.
00:24:06.210 --> 00:24:19.250
Because Avigel, I've got this dream that I want to start a business or I want to make more money or I want to grow my side hustle or I want to sell things from my house online and make some fun money, but I don't have time.
00:24:21.329 --> 00:24:22.849
What do you want more?
00:24:23.730 --> 00:24:32.289
The money, the opportunity, and the goal and what that will bring you, or to stay stuck in the excuse because you can't have both.
00:24:33.169 --> 00:24:36.769
So when it came to the time and the time conversation, I'll be very honest.
00:24:36.849 --> 00:24:44.369
When I first wrote the book, I was fresh out of the near-death experience, the corporate, and I was very much like, time, let's manage it.
00:24:44.529 --> 00:24:52.929
And now I come from this place of if you don't know where your time is going, your life is your actions.
00:24:53.649 --> 00:25:02.769
Sorry to be mean, sorry to sound mean, sorry that you're not gonna like to hear this, but you get what you value.
00:25:04.049 --> 00:25:12.049
So if you don't know where your time is going and you haven't done a time audit which sounds boring, how can I make it sound more sexy?
00:25:12.289 --> 00:25:14.689
Time tracking, time monitoring.
00:25:14.849 --> 00:25:16.609
Maybe I need like a rebrand of it.
00:25:16.769 --> 00:25:21.649
I'm super happy for any listeners to say, like, call it this, it would sound sexy.
00:25:21.730 --> 00:25:30.049
Because ultimately, Amy, we're designing your dream schedule, but we can't design your dream schedule if we don't know what's stealing it.
00:25:31.089 --> 00:25:34.129
So we track the time to find the time stealers.
00:25:34.289 --> 00:25:38.210
So maybe it's I don't know, it's called the time stealer assessment.
00:25:39.250 --> 00:25:41.329
Which does sound a bit cheesy.
00:25:41.569 --> 00:25:44.689
Yeah, but you know, marketing's marketing, so yeah.
00:25:44.849 --> 00:25:54.210
It is talk to me about time audits, like what someone who has a business right now and what can they do for the first steps to towards curating this?
00:25:54.369 --> 00:25:58.210
Because time is our most valuable asset, like you said.
00:25:58.289 --> 00:26:01.329
And I think for me, I started realizing like, oh wait, you're doing that for free.
00:26:01.409 --> 00:26:02.849
Oh, wait, you keep giving that away.
00:26:02.929 --> 00:26:07.089
And then now when I look at something, like, is that it within integrity?
00:26:07.169 --> 00:26:09.490
And what does it cost me with my time?
00:26:09.730 --> 00:26:10.929
That was a game changer.
00:26:11.089 --> 00:26:14.289
I was like, oh wait, what have I been doing?
00:26:15.329 --> 00:26:15.970
Yeah.
00:26:16.210 --> 00:26:33.250
So when we're tracking our time, we are looking at what time we go to bed, we're looking at what time we get up, we're looking at what time we eat, and then we're filling in when we're working, what we're working on, who we're working with, where our time is going.
00:26:33.490 --> 00:26:41.649
And unlike lawyers, solicitors, accountants, I advise people to track in 30-minute increments.
00:26:43.169 --> 00:26:52.129
You will then be able to see these are the projects I'm spending time on, these are the activities, these are the people that keep phoning me every day.
00:26:52.289 --> 00:26:53.809
Can I just can I just ask?
00:26:53.970 --> 00:26:54.929
Can I just ask?
00:26:55.409 --> 00:27:04.369
And you realize some of the things that you do are people pleasing because maybe you've got a people-pleasing tendency within you.
00:27:04.529 --> 00:27:06.769
And then this feeds into procrastination.
00:27:06.929 --> 00:27:11.730
So I'm creating at the moment a 21-day procrastination breakthrough challenge.
00:27:12.049 --> 00:27:14.609
Nobody is a procrastinator, Amy.
00:27:15.009 --> 00:27:22.369
Procrastination is the face of a fear, so there's a it, so it's a coping strategy.
00:27:22.929 --> 00:27:28.609
I'm such a procrastinator actually means I'm afraid of what will happen when I do X.
00:27:29.009 --> 00:27:35.809
Like I don't have enough information, I might get promoted and I don't I won't be able to cope with it.
00:27:35.970 --> 00:27:49.569
If I actually do it, people might not like me because people know me as who I am right now, and then as I become more successful, they're not gonna like it, but they want me.
00:27:49.730 --> 00:28:01.490
So it's it's psychology, and when it comes to your business and your time, a book that I will highly, highly recommend, and it took me six years to get recommended this book.
00:28:01.569 --> 00:28:05.089
So if anybody gets it and they're early in their journey, you're welcome.
00:28:05.250 --> 00:28:08.369
It's called Emith Revisited by Michael Gerber.
00:28:08.849 --> 00:28:25.250
When I read this book, I realized that anybody who has had a corporate career or has a subject area of expertise, your natural tendency will be to spend the time doing the thing you like and the thing you're good at.
00:28:25.569 --> 00:28:33.889
When you run a business and you become a business owner, an entrepreneur, whatever you want to call yourself, you are in charge of it all.
00:28:35.649 --> 00:28:40.369
And when it comes to time, then I'm a marketer, so I love doing the marketing.
00:28:40.529 --> 00:28:44.609
But if I'm not doing business development and sales, the business dies.
00:28:45.250 --> 00:28:47.009
So I have to do it all.
00:28:47.169 --> 00:28:57.730
So I'm spending my time marketing, business development, delivering the content for the client, showing up in person things, doing podcasts and doing all of the stuff.
00:28:58.129 --> 00:29:01.009
So then that's why I need to know where my time is going.
00:29:01.490 --> 00:29:04.849
Because am I getting the activities?
00:29:05.089 --> 00:29:07.169
Or Amy, is it just busy work?
00:29:07.889 --> 00:29:12.769
So I get to the end of the week and I say, Oh, I've been so busy this week.
00:29:12.929 --> 00:29:15.569
And it's not about how much money did you make?
00:29:16.129 --> 00:29:19.889
Because that's a mean immediate question.
00:29:20.129 --> 00:29:27.730
It's about are we planting the right seeds in the places and do we still feel aligned with them?
00:29:29.089 --> 00:29:31.009
And can we pull back from some stuff?
00:29:31.169 --> 00:29:33.329
Can we go in on some stuff?
00:29:33.569 --> 00:29:36.049
Why why are we not doing certain things?
00:29:36.210 --> 00:29:38.529
Why are we not speaking to certain people?
00:29:38.849 --> 00:29:43.329
Why are we not putting ourselves out there more, showing up more, being more visible?
00:29:44.289 --> 00:29:45.809
Oh, that's a visibility wound.
00:29:45.889 --> 00:29:50.769
But you only spotted that BS story because you saw what.
00:29:51.970 --> 00:29:56.449
So when I work with my clients, they track the time, we sit down and we talk about it all.
00:29:56.529 --> 00:30:00.689
And I say, You're not wrong, you're not procrastinating, you're not bad.
00:30:01.009 --> 00:30:03.329
You've just hit the edge of your comfort zone.
00:30:04.049 --> 00:30:06.049
Yeah, I can totally resonate with that.
00:30:06.449 --> 00:30:11.009
That next question is do you want to move forward or do you want to stay where you are?
00:30:11.329 --> 00:30:11.569
Yeah.
00:30:11.730 --> 00:30:13.970
And if people want to stay where they are, that's fine.
00:30:14.049 --> 00:30:15.329
That's because it's their life.
00:30:15.490 --> 00:30:19.169
And maybe some people, Amy, they want a business that's a lifestyle.
00:30:19.970 --> 00:30:24.769
Five clients, and I only work two days a week, and and it pays the bills.
00:30:25.009 --> 00:30:29.089
Or maybe other people want to impact the lives of millions.
00:30:29.169 --> 00:30:31.089
It there's no good or bad.
00:30:31.490 --> 00:30:33.409
They're just what do you want?
00:30:33.809 --> 00:30:43.329
And so many people can't answer that question because they have all sorts of I'm not allowed to, it's shameful, people like me, rich people.
00:30:43.569 --> 00:30:45.009
This is a big one at the moment.
00:30:45.169 --> 00:30:46.609
Who are the fat cats?
00:30:47.970 --> 00:30:52.369
You know, people talk about rich people and they say, Oh, you know, the rich people, the fat cats.
00:30:53.409 --> 00:31:10.129
No, so you want to run your business and make money, but you don't want to be a fat cat because that's the story you've got in your head about rich people, and so then you start to unpick it and say, just money, it's just a business.
00:31:10.289 --> 00:31:11.569
What's the drama?
00:31:11.809 --> 00:31:13.009
Who is a fat cat?
00:31:13.089 --> 00:31:16.369
And then and then that all those beliefs collapse.
00:31:16.529 --> 00:31:19.889
Yes, and you can be who you came here to be.
00:31:20.049 --> 00:31:21.889
So is it about time?
00:31:22.689 --> 00:31:25.169
Yes, but is it really about time?
00:31:25.490 --> 00:31:31.169
It's about the excuses that are hiding behind your excuse if I don't have enough time.
00:31:31.809 --> 00:31:35.089
Yeah, I can totally fear to see that.
00:31:35.250 --> 00:31:36.449
Yeah, exactly.
00:31:36.769 --> 00:31:40.769
Which comes into the work that you do, which is a dysregulated nervous system.
00:31:41.409 --> 00:31:43.169
Yes, yeah, it is.
00:31:43.250 --> 00:31:44.929
It's about keeping that grounded.
00:31:45.089 --> 00:31:49.970
You know, when you're building the business, it's like, how can it be I'm more about like how can it be sustainable over the long term?
00:31:50.049 --> 00:31:50.369
It's great.
00:31:50.449 --> 00:31:52.210
We can all work 70 hours a week if we want to.
00:31:52.449 --> 00:31:53.730
I don't want to work 70 hours a week.
00:31:53.809 --> 00:31:56.129
I have no intentions of working 70 hours a week.
00:31:56.289 --> 00:31:58.129
That's not why I built this, right?
00:31:58.369 --> 00:32:02.609
Um, so it's like kind of what have you created around that time is is everything, right?
00:32:02.689 --> 00:32:05.569
Because we have a limited amount of time for the rest of our lives.
00:32:05.730 --> 00:32:09.569
Maybe you've been through things where you think, is it really that big of a deal?
00:32:09.730 --> 00:32:10.049
Right?
00:32:10.210 --> 00:32:11.250
Something didn't go right.
00:32:11.409 --> 00:32:18.210
Okay, well, we're gonna deal with it, you know, and and time is your greatest, you know, that that is what you have.
00:32:18.369 --> 00:32:20.929
So value your time like it's everything.
00:32:21.169 --> 00:32:25.970
And the big thing is if you've got a big goal for your business, then you need to bring on a team.
00:32:26.210 --> 00:32:28.210
You need to bring in other people.
00:32:28.449 --> 00:32:34.049
So those 70 hours that are needed to build that business are not all you.
00:32:34.609 --> 00:32:46.609
But if you're stopping yourself from bringing on the team and from bringing people in part-time because this is what we all do in the early days, then the question isn't about time.
00:32:46.769 --> 00:32:50.369
The question is, what is the fear behind me?
00:32:50.529 --> 00:32:52.210
Do I believe in the dream?
00:32:52.289 --> 00:32:52.929
Is this the right?
00:32:53.169 --> 00:32:56.289
And so it's all psychology and your nervous system.
00:32:56.369 --> 00:32:59.250
I'd just love to talk about this because it's the work you do.
00:32:59.490 --> 00:33:17.889
I heard somebody say if you have a big goal and a big dream for your business, your nervous system is going to be dysregulated because you are always living at the edge, you are always going somewhere that's unknown, and the fight, flight, fear, freeze, fawn, all of those things are being triggered.
00:33:18.049 --> 00:33:25.329
Yeah, your job isn't to say, Oh, my nervous system is dysregulated, this is bad, I need to stop.
00:33:25.569 --> 00:33:28.849
Your job is to say, How can I make this normal?
00:33:30.449 --> 00:33:57.250
Because we can either live in the comfort zone and nothing happens, or we can live in the stretch zone and we normalize these new feelings, and these new feelings are normal, but you only can validate all of that by hanging out with people who are doing the same, and that's why podcasts like this are amazing, that's why your environment matters, that's why communities, you're such an incredible community builder.
00:33:57.490 --> 00:34:06.369
That's why all of this is necessary if you are going to move house from your comfort zone to your stretch zone.
00:34:06.529 --> 00:34:14.690
Your stretch zone then becomes your new comfort zone, and you are forever expanding, like the universe is expanding.
00:34:15.570 --> 00:34:16.289
Exactly.
00:34:16.449 --> 00:34:17.409
Yeah, absolutely.
00:34:17.570 --> 00:34:19.409
I can totally see that.
00:34:19.570 --> 00:34:23.889
I only really started to expand when I left my hometown, when I started to get around people.
00:34:23.970 --> 00:34:35.889
I was like, oh, wait, I got to 28 and realized there's another way to live life, but I had to really step out of what everything I'd ever known to see what's possible.
00:34:35.969 --> 00:34:46.849
It's like peeking behind the curtain, they say, you know, you look around and you're like, oh, oh wait, just for the context of this conversation, it doesn't make where you are wrong.
00:34:47.009 --> 00:34:51.090
No, it just makes it what it is.
00:34:51.969 --> 00:34:57.170
If you want to see different things, you need to leave what you know.
00:34:57.489 --> 00:35:09.969
When I went to Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, Australia, Japan, and went on this tour like Southeast Asia tour, every single country I saw lots of different things.
00:35:10.210 --> 00:35:19.009
And it presented lots of different problems, and there were different currencies, different languages, different cultures, different ways, different food, day after day after day.
00:35:20.049 --> 00:35:23.090
And it doesn't mean that what we're doing back home is wrong.
00:35:23.170 --> 00:35:24.929
It doesn't mean that what they're doing is wrong.
00:35:25.090 --> 00:35:27.489
There isn't a right or a wrong, there just is.
00:35:28.849 --> 00:35:31.250
And it's an experience, and it's like cooking.
00:35:31.409 --> 00:35:37.250
Yeah, everybody loves your mum's favourite meal, your dad's favorite meal.
00:35:37.489 --> 00:35:49.650
But that doesn't mean that we can't add, I don't know, more tomatoes to that bolognese sauce or to that lasagna, or take out the cheese, or add in a different type of cheese.
00:35:49.809 --> 00:35:58.449
It's just we're here once, Amy, and I think this is what my near-death experiencing to me was this is my second life.
00:35:58.610 --> 00:36:16.929
And if my job can be to encourage others to just take a step outside the comfort zone and hang out with other people who have courageously done it like yourself, doesn't need to be a stroke, it can be a divorce, it can be a redundancy, it can be your own illness, it can be someone else's illness, it can be something on the news.
00:36:17.009 --> 00:36:27.170
If you have had an awakening to, I wonder if my message to anybody is get in the water.
00:36:27.329 --> 00:36:28.769
But Abigail, is it deep?
00:36:28.849 --> 00:36:29.650
Is it cold?
00:36:29.809 --> 00:36:30.769
Can I swim?
00:36:31.009 --> 00:36:32.449
You'll find a way.
00:36:32.690 --> 00:36:34.529
And by the way, we're all in here.
00:36:34.610 --> 00:36:39.170
And if we see you drink your rubber ring, you'll be fine.
00:36:39.489 --> 00:36:40.130
Exactly.
00:36:40.369 --> 00:36:41.650
Yeah, it is literally.
00:36:41.730 --> 00:36:45.090
I mean, I have a friend who is all about talking about taking the leap.
00:36:45.170 --> 00:36:46.130
That is her thing, right?
00:36:46.210 --> 00:36:48.929
And I'm like, oh, it is about taking that leap.
00:36:49.090 --> 00:36:50.369
And yes, it's scary.
00:36:50.449 --> 00:36:54.849
Yes, there's fear, there's blocks, that's why we work on what we do, you know, and the coaching that we have.
00:36:55.090 --> 00:36:57.170
Um, but you just have to do it, right?
00:36:57.250 --> 00:36:59.489
The the fear is always going to be there.
00:36:59.650 --> 00:37:01.969
It's about taking that step, and you definitely have.
00:37:02.210 --> 00:37:16.769
And I guess I'd like to ask you personally, like, what is a belief about success that you had before you started this journey that you've completely let go of since now being a business owner for 14 years or however long it's been.
00:37:17.250 --> 00:37:26.130
I used to think that success was having all the things, doing all the things, being all the things, and being able to shout about it.
00:37:26.289 --> 00:37:38.289
Now I realize that success is the ability to love yourself and to love others and to understand that everything is energy and what you want wants you.
00:37:38.610 --> 00:37:41.569
And so success isn't what do I need to do?
00:37:41.650 --> 00:37:42.449
What do I need to do?
00:37:42.529 --> 00:37:43.650
What do I need to do?
00:37:43.889 --> 00:37:45.409
It's who do I need to be?
00:37:46.130 --> 00:37:51.090
And if I don't love myself, and believe me, before I really didn't.
00:37:51.250 --> 00:37:52.369
I hated myself.
00:37:52.529 --> 00:37:55.969
I thought it was everything else outside of me that I needed.
00:37:56.849 --> 00:38:06.289
And the irony is what you want comes to you when you stop needing to have it.
00:38:06.449 --> 00:38:13.730
Like the relationship, and I'm gonna die alone, and I'm never gonna make it, and these people aren't gonna want to work with me.
00:38:13.969 --> 00:38:16.529
My answer to any client is it's done.
00:38:17.009 --> 00:38:18.769
Yabba, no, it's done.
00:38:19.009 --> 00:38:20.369
Yabba, no, it's done.
00:38:21.969 --> 00:38:30.529
And then the work is the yab up because the doubt is the gap between it's done and what am I doing?
00:38:30.690 --> 00:38:41.489
And so just to be clear, it's not that we meditate and the gold lands on our head, it's that we meditate, we become, and then we take the guided, inspired action.
00:38:42.289 --> 00:38:44.610
Am I ready to do this podcast today?
00:38:44.929 --> 00:38:46.449
Do I have all my ducks?
00:38:46.529 --> 00:38:51.090
You know, I could doubt every single thing, or I could just do it and figure it out.
00:38:52.610 --> 00:38:54.049
Yeah, I agree.
00:38:54.289 --> 00:38:58.049
Removing the doubts, removing the weeds of the mind of like actually letting it go.
00:38:58.210 --> 00:39:02.690
That's one thing is like learning to let go, something I've had to really tap into.
00:39:02.849 --> 00:39:05.569
And knowing that that big vision is out there for you.
00:39:05.650 --> 00:39:07.650
You know, you've been implanted with the vision, haven't you?
00:39:07.809 --> 00:39:09.329
Like we all have a vision for the future.
00:39:09.489 --> 00:39:11.170
Mine is different to yours, right?
00:39:11.489 --> 00:39:19.009
But learning to lean into it, you know, we are the only beings on earth who have this like creativity aspect.
00:39:19.809 --> 00:39:20.849
Use it, right?
00:39:20.929 --> 00:39:23.969
I'm sure you look at the things you've created, look at the book behind you.
00:39:24.130 --> 00:39:25.489
That was a vision.
00:39:25.889 --> 00:39:26.529
You did it.
00:39:26.929 --> 00:39:44.369
I always wanted to write a book, and then I found someone who'd written a load of books, and I invested money and time to work with them to learn the process, and now I've gone on to do two more myself and supported two other authors to do it, and I'm working on my new book.
00:39:44.610 --> 00:39:49.090
And what you want is possible, what anybody wants.
00:39:49.170 --> 00:39:56.529
So, anybody who's listening, your job is to sit, get a piece of paper right now, and write out what you want.
00:39:56.849 --> 00:40:03.009
I want, and there's this whole thing about now, you've got to write it in the right words and blah blah blah.
00:40:03.489 --> 00:40:16.049
If you can't even answer the question of what you want, because you have been told wanting is bad and you're not allowed to want, don't worry about the language of the right way to manifest yet.
00:40:16.849 --> 00:40:18.130
Just hear yourself.
00:40:18.289 --> 00:40:31.969
If you can't even hear yourself trying to perfect the whole, well, how's it gonna come down from the universe, Abigail, Amy, if I don't, you know, write the right words and I haven't written it 500 times.
00:40:34.130 --> 00:40:40.210
Just know that all of these people are selling you their process, and the way is through you.
00:40:40.529 --> 00:40:41.489
You are it.
00:40:42.529 --> 00:40:54.210
The minute you allow yourself to want what you want and stop shaming yourself, and you're allowed to have it, and it's safe to have it, and it's your time to have it, that's when everything changes.
00:40:54.449 --> 00:40:55.170
It does indeed.
00:40:55.329 --> 00:40:57.569
Yeah, I mean, I think me and you are living proof of this.
00:40:57.650 --> 00:40:59.809
We can really honestly talk openly about it.
00:40:59.889 --> 00:41:02.929
That's why I have the podcast is what that really looks like.
00:41:03.009 --> 00:41:07.809
And I do believe, you know, we mean you are nervous system, we talk about it, the regulation aspect.
00:41:07.969 --> 00:41:12.210
You've got to feel calm and grounded in who you are, be the version of that self.
00:41:12.369 --> 00:41:16.369
Like, you know, you it's also that limited beliefs, and then becoming that.
00:41:16.449 --> 00:41:19.009
I'm like, okay, this is who I am, and that's what I want to be.
00:41:19.170 --> 00:41:20.369
But powerful work.
00:41:20.449 --> 00:41:25.090
And I know you're you speak, you've got the podcast, you've got the you've got so much going on.
00:41:25.250 --> 00:41:32.289
Tell me how you manage all of your day-to-day, I know you're in time management, but what is it that really truly lights you up and keeps you going?
00:41:32.769 --> 00:41:36.130
Well, this is the thing to say into this whole conversation.
00:41:36.369 --> 00:41:39.489
And even though we're on this journey doing the things, we're not perfect.
00:41:39.809 --> 00:41:40.130
Absolutely.
00:41:40.849 --> 00:41:50.849
What keeps me going and what helps me to do everything is to constantly question does this feel like the next thing that I'm meant to do?
00:41:50.929 --> 00:41:58.929
So I've had a podcast for a couple of years that I put on pause because I didn't feel like I was able to keep having the conversation.
00:41:59.090 --> 00:41:59.889
It's coming back.
00:41:59.969 --> 00:42:01.170
Is it the right thing?
00:42:01.409 --> 00:42:05.569
Podcasts are an investment of time, money, effort.
00:42:06.289 --> 00:42:10.610
But I trust myself, I feel like it's right.
00:42:11.250 --> 00:42:20.130
And when it comes to every single decision, at some point in time, the right decision is just the decision you make.
00:42:21.569 --> 00:42:25.009
And then how you deal with it is the outcome of it.
00:42:25.489 --> 00:42:30.690
But if you're always aware of your time and you're always asking yourself, could I do this in a different way?
00:42:31.009 --> 00:42:32.130
Is there a new system?
00:42:32.369 --> 00:42:33.329
Is there a new person?
00:42:33.489 --> 00:42:36.769
Is there somebody who could support me a way that could help me?
00:42:37.730 --> 00:42:50.769
That, you know, or maybe for me, just full transparency, when I did my podcast before, I think I had a bit of a perfectionist in me that needed the episodes to be done in a certain way and done to a certain way.
00:42:51.009 --> 00:42:56.210
And that really took up a lot of time and a lot of mental thought.
00:42:57.090 --> 00:42:57.969
Absolutely.
00:42:58.210 --> 00:43:00.049
It takes time, everything takes time.
00:43:00.130 --> 00:43:06.369
And I think on this journey that we are on, and knowing that yes, we don't have everything figured out, I always reiterate that.
00:43:06.449 --> 00:43:08.449
Like I'm on the journey of life, just like you are.
00:43:08.529 --> 00:43:18.130
I know I'm early on in my journey of entrepreneurship for sure, and building the business, but remembering I think the key is remembering, I know you touched on it, it's like who you are.
00:43:18.369 --> 00:43:21.329
Who are you like underneath all of this, you know?
00:43:21.650 --> 00:43:34.369
And my one of my final questions before we we close up is what is like a big dream that you have in your life right now, it could be in business or in personal, like what you really wanting to bring through.
00:43:34.849 --> 00:43:41.009
My big dream at the minute is to take the work that I do around the world and to take it on tour.
00:43:41.409 --> 00:43:51.889
So I want to share the content in different parts of the country, meet people, answer questions, and go on a book tour.
00:43:51.969 --> 00:43:54.289
But I also want to do it with other people.
00:43:54.449 --> 00:43:56.690
This is my crazy big idea.
00:43:56.849 --> 00:44:03.650
And someone said I don't understand how it could work, Abigail, and I said, it's not for you to understand, it's it's my dream and my vision.
00:44:03.889 --> 00:44:16.849
But I would like to be doing this with others who are coming on the tour with their own work because although we may all say similar things, different people resonate with different people's messages.
00:44:17.090 --> 00:44:21.889
But if there's a band of you going around and doing it all together, it's fun.
00:44:21.969 --> 00:44:28.929
And I feel like the next chapter for the world and for all of us is to do stuff that's fun, do stuff that's exciting.
00:44:29.250 --> 00:44:30.529
Yeah, that sounds amazing.
00:44:30.610 --> 00:44:33.329
I think that would absolutely change the game.
00:44:33.409 --> 00:44:36.690
I think there's so much that we can do online like this, absolutely amazing.
00:44:36.769 --> 00:44:44.690
But if there is a different, like when you're in person and you get that energy from them, people it's it's life-changing.
00:44:44.769 --> 00:44:53.329
I know I've been to my first like of events this year, and I noticed the capabilities and what you can really allow your mind to go there.
00:44:53.409 --> 00:44:55.969
So I think that would be a great thing to do.
00:44:56.049 --> 00:44:58.769
Uh, we need more of that, we need more fun in our lives.
00:44:59.009 --> 00:45:03.889
And I guess the final thing would be if somebody wanted to work with you, where would they find you?
00:45:04.049 --> 00:45:04.849
What can they do?
00:45:05.009 --> 00:45:09.889
Like, what is your your coaching all about, and how can they um connect?
00:45:10.369 --> 00:45:13.250
So I hang out on LinkedIn, that's where we connected.
00:45:13.329 --> 00:45:19.650
I am Abigail Barnes on LinkedIn, and on Instagram, I am Abigail Barnes on Instagram.
00:45:20.289 --> 00:45:23.889
So that is those are the two best places to find me.
00:45:24.049 --> 00:45:30.369
And the people that I work with are ambitious, they're successful, but they know there is more.
00:45:30.690 --> 00:45:37.809
So they're ready for more, they're slightly scared, but they also have a feeling that the clock is ticking on their life.
00:45:37.889 --> 00:45:41.329
And if they were to go right now, they haven't done what they came here to do.
00:45:41.569 --> 00:45:43.090
Those are my people.
00:45:44.449 --> 00:45:45.489
Yeah, definitely.
00:45:45.650 --> 00:45:46.769
Yeah, amazing work.
00:45:46.929 --> 00:45:56.049
And anyone to I will put everything below for your book as well, and and the podcast when you're ready to get going again, because I'm sure it's uh another powerful lots of episodes there as well.
00:45:56.130 --> 00:45:57.809
So I guess for me, thank you so much.
00:45:57.889 --> 00:46:04.929
Thank you for being so open on it and sharing your story because I know even like one conversation can change somebody's life.
00:46:05.009 --> 00:46:07.329
You know, something in what you said, something you resonated.
00:46:07.409 --> 00:46:11.889
I know you're really good at the stories, which I was like intrigued at what you say next.
00:46:12.049 --> 00:46:14.849
So thank you so much for doing that.
00:46:15.489 --> 00:46:22.369
Thank you for having me, and thank you for sharing this platform and this content and this proof with the world.
00:46:22.690 --> 00:46:23.650
You're so welcome.
00:46:23.730 --> 00:46:25.650
Yeah, and thank you to anyone who is listening today.
00:46:25.730 --> 00:46:36.690
And if anything that we have said, either of us that resonates with you, reach out to us, ask us a question, you know, be open and curious and remember that where you are right now does not define the rest of your life.
00:46:36.769 --> 00:46:39.329
You know, you can make big changes today, tomorrow.
00:46:39.569 --> 00:46:44.769
Start looking at what's holding you back, look at them fears and knowing that you can make that change.
00:46:44.849 --> 00:46:48.130
You're, you know, mine and Abigail's story is just one of many.
00:46:48.289 --> 00:46:50.929
You know, we've decided to take the leaps, we've done the things.
00:46:51.170 --> 00:46:51.889
Are we perfect?
00:46:52.049 --> 00:46:54.049
No, but we're moving through our journeys in life.
00:46:54.210 --> 00:46:57.009
So come and find me, come and find Abigail, say hi.
00:46:57.250 --> 00:47:02.849
But until next time, as always, keep dreaming big, and I'll see you in the next episode.
