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00:00:56.560 --> 00:01:03.759
Welcome back to the Denim Wrapped Nightmares and In Defense of Fandom Podcast Crossover Supernatural Music Extravaganza.
00:01:04.719 --> 00:01:11.760
In this collaboration series, we're looking at music in the show, music inspired by the show, and music created by actors, cast, and crew.
00:01:12.719 --> 00:01:15.920
Today's episode is the second in our artist on artist series.
00:01:16.400 --> 00:01:19.439
Inspired by variety's actors on actors format.
00:01:19.680 --> 00:01:25.280
We've paired supernatural cast members and musicians for unscripted conversations where they interview each other.
00:01:26.239 --> 00:01:33.840
In an exemplary discussion where two real queens fix each other's crowns, our guests are Brianna Buckmaster and Lisa Barry.
00:01:34.400 --> 00:01:42.480
Brianna is a Canadian actress, singer, and voiceover performer who stole hearts as the optimistic Sheriff Donna Hanscom on Supernatural.
00:01:42.959 --> 00:01:47.599
A Grant McEwan university theater grad, an award-winning stage veteran.
00:01:47.760 --> 00:01:57.599
She's voiced Pugs in Chip and Potato, released a Billboard Charting Blues album Begin, and even covered Carry On Wayward Sun with Billy Moran.
00:01:58.159 --> 00:02:02.400
Beyond the screen and stage, she champions body positivity and women's empowerment.
00:02:03.280 --> 00:02:12.879
Lisa is a Canadian actress who transformed from a makeup artist to powerhouse performer, commanding the screen as Billy the Reaper, and later Death on Supernatural.
00:02:13.439 --> 00:02:16.400
A Randolph Academy grad with classical theater roots.
00:02:16.479 --> 00:02:20.400
She's tackled everything from Shakespeare to horror anthologies like Slasher.
00:02:20.960 --> 00:02:25.199
Music re-entered her life through convention performances with Lon Swain.
00:02:25.280 --> 00:02:31.680
And Lisa mentors performers through her Take a Breath Wellness program, advocating mental health and the arts.
00:02:31.919 --> 00:02:35.680
Now let's eavesdrop on Breeze and Lisa's conversation.
00:02:39.360 --> 00:02:41.599
I couldn't remember the exact moment.
00:02:42.080 --> 00:02:45.039
But I wanna I wanna ask Lisa if she wants to go first.
00:02:45.120 --> 00:02:45.599
But I remember that.
00:02:45.919 --> 00:02:50.639
I was gonna say I was like, you go first because you always remember how how the went.
00:02:50.800 --> 00:02:52.879
And it's a part of my life I blocked out for so long.
00:02:52.960 --> 00:02:54.240
I only remember you.
00:02:54.960 --> 00:02:59.199
I don't remember how Was it Cinderella?
00:02:59.520 --> 00:03:01.360
I remember it was Stage West.
00:03:01.840 --> 00:03:02.159
No.
00:03:03.199 --> 00:03:06.560
Yeah, it was Stage West Mississauga because I remember we had to take the train.
00:03:07.039 --> 00:03:09.439
I was gonna say I was like, we had to take a train from a West.
00:03:10.319 --> 00:03:21.120
I don't remember if it was a show or like one of their kind of um cabaret kind of shows where it's like just a bunch of songs from a different bunch of different shows and pop songs and whatever.
00:03:21.360 --> 00:03:27.759
Anyway, Lisa A was with she and I were with the same agents at the time.
00:03:28.800 --> 00:03:42.879
And I don't know if I had known of you or if I'd seen you before that, but I remember we both well uh this is my my remembering of it.
00:03:43.039 --> 00:03:55.520
We both hated the audition and felt that we were not seen as musicians, as quality singers in the musical theater space.
00:03:55.680 --> 00:04:10.000
And so we spent the entire train lamenting about how in musical theater, or at least it used to be like this, there was one voice quality they were looking for, and it was belt to an E, ingenue sound.
00:04:10.080 --> 00:04:19.439
And both Lisa and I, as you can even just tell from speaking, both have alto sounding voices and lean towards that vocally when we were singing.
00:04:19.600 --> 00:04:32.800
And also, you know, we're like blues singers, rock singers, like we weren't our voices, we're not leaning hard towards musical theater, ingenue, pop, belt to an E.
00:04:32.879 --> 00:04:42.800
And so often, or you know, I will say I often I showed up to musical theater auditions feeling so less than.
00:04:42.879 --> 00:05:04.480
And it was, I remember just finding it so refreshing to have conversations with Lisa, who I think I knew as being kind of a big deal back then, or even if it was after then, because I know she had worked at Stratford and Shaw, and I felt so grateful that someone of her caliber in the industry felt the exact same way I did.
00:05:05.199 --> 00:05:12.959
And I just remember her being very funny and big and vibrant, and I just related to her so much.
00:05:13.120 --> 00:05:31.360
I don't think I ever saw her again, but we were uh we were connected via social media for years and years and years, and then I remember hearing her sing in the supernatural preview, and I messaged her going, is that you on supernatural?
00:05:31.600 --> 00:05:32.639
And she's like, Yeah, it is.
00:05:32.720 --> 00:05:34.160
And I'm like, I'm on supernatural too.
00:05:34.240 --> 00:05:35.600
And she's like, ah no.
00:05:36.160 --> 00:05:40.240
And so, because she was a fan of supernatural, which she'll tell you about, I'm sure.
00:05:40.399 --> 00:05:42.959
But anyway, and then the rest is history.
00:05:43.199 --> 00:05:57.439
So we'd known each other for a long time, had that one moment that I can remember of connection, never saw each other again till we started, she started doing conventions, and then of course, the love was obvious for me, for me.
00:05:57.680 --> 00:05:58.560
Aww.
00:05:58.959 --> 00:05:59.680
I love you.
00:06:00.160 --> 00:06:00.720
I love you.
00:06:00.959 --> 00:06:01.439
Oh, yeah.
00:06:01.519 --> 00:06:06.160
I mean, Brianna is hilarious, as anyone who is lucky enough to know her knows.
00:06:06.319 --> 00:06:13.360
She will have you laughing in stitches, like not just laughing, but like rolling on the floor, stop it, it hurts, kind of laughing.
00:06:13.600 --> 00:06:16.879
And those people always keep a special place in my heart.
00:06:17.199 --> 00:06:20.399
And I of course know the show, as Brianna knows.
00:06:20.480 --> 00:06:21.439
I'm a fan of the show as well.
00:06:21.519 --> 00:06:22.879
And I was like, get out of here, man.
00:06:23.120 --> 00:06:23.839
You know what's so funny?
00:06:23.920 --> 00:06:37.439
Is I actually just saw uh an old audition I did for another thing on Supernatural because I'd auditioned for the show for like 10 years, and I found an old school uh hard drive, and I was like, Oh, I wonder what's on here.
00:06:37.600 --> 00:06:39.519
And I was like, Oh, that's my nightmare.
00:06:40.720 --> 00:06:43.519
They're bad, they're very bad, is what I got.
00:06:43.759 --> 00:06:47.279
Even looking at one of my auditions from last year, they're so bad.
00:06:47.439 --> 00:06:51.199
Yeah, it's like I saw why I didn't I didn't get the part.
00:06:51.600 --> 00:06:59.759
Um yeah, no, and it's I think it's always fun when you meet somebody who understands the vocal journey that both Brianna and I have had.
00:07:00.000 --> 00:07:04.079
And to hear us sing, you would never think that there was ever an insecurity.
00:07:04.399 --> 00:07:18.720
But when you grow up in a time where still, you know, a size eight is the biggest size you ever saw represented in magazines on TV in the world, and you're a size 12, you immediately are excluded from the definition of beautiful.
00:07:18.800 --> 00:07:30.560
And so you grow up with that internalized, and then you have a voice that is more leaning towards a rock or a punk rock kind of sound, and everyone wants aerial.
00:07:31.279 --> 00:07:36.959
And that makes you go, uh, I don't think there's gonna be much for me here.
00:07:37.439 --> 00:07:42.240
And and I would still go out and I would still try, but then it was just like, I can't do this anymore.
00:07:42.319 --> 00:07:43.439
I can't take any more notes.
00:07:43.519 --> 00:07:46.000
I can't, I can't put myself out there in that way.
00:07:46.079 --> 00:08:03.839
This is too vulnerable, this is so personal, which I believe singing is is such a deep, you know, spiritual practice in real time because you're sharing the most vulnerable side of yourself where mistakes and anything you don't want other people to hear, you know, will will be heard.
00:08:04.079 --> 00:08:10.800
So so it was nice to to meet somebody who who also, like Brianna said, just got it.
00:08:10.959 --> 00:08:12.480
I'm like that to this day.
00:08:12.639 --> 00:08:16.480
A friend of mine just made a show and she was talking about her vocal journey.
00:08:16.560 --> 00:08:21.920
And I was just sitting on like a tear bubble the whole time because I was like, get out of my head, what are you doing?
00:08:22.240 --> 00:08:28.720
Because I just understand the pressure we put on ourselves and the pressure we think other people are putting on us.
00:08:28.959 --> 00:08:32.559
And it just can be this weight that you're like, it's it's a lie.
00:08:32.799 --> 00:08:38.080
And when you really break free of it, which is something that, you know, only happened because of Brianna as well.
00:08:38.240 --> 00:08:40.799
Like, just she's always been a champion.
00:08:40.960 --> 00:08:46.639
I, you know, like nobody really reaches out when you're on something and says, Hey, I saw you on this.
00:08:46.799 --> 00:08:47.919
Let me give you a shout out.
00:08:48.000 --> 00:08:53.919
Like, those just aren't words that most artists hear or share in in community.
00:08:54.080 --> 00:09:03.759
And and to me, that that's what makes you actually really, really special is you're you're giving in a way where you don't feel like you'll lose something because you're sharing and giving and being generous.
00:09:04.080 --> 00:09:05.120
That's so sweet.
00:09:05.279 --> 00:09:06.960
I would never ever have thought that.
00:09:07.120 --> 00:09:11.039
To me, I was like, oh, I'm gonna get famous because I know Lisa Barry.
00:09:14.000 --> 00:09:16.879
I was being very selfish when I reached out to you.
00:09:17.919 --> 00:09:24.559
Um, I want to touch on quickly when um talking about how interesting it is.
00:09:25.360 --> 00:09:40.799
I know Lisa and I we've talked at length about how we share vocal insecurities that, as you mentioned, it's I really does stem from being told you need to sound a certain way in musical theater.
00:09:40.960 --> 00:09:54.080
I remember the very first time I played like an ingenue role in a musical was when I played Belle in Beauty and the Beast at Globe Theater.
00:09:54.399 --> 00:09:57.600
And I lost my voice.
00:09:57.759 --> 00:10:14.159
And they didn't have understudies back then, they didn't have microphones, and I will never forget like it's in the trauma is ingrained in my cells going on stage, opening your mouth, and no sound coming out, and then going on stage for a curtain call and nobody applauding.
00:10:14.559 --> 00:10:20.399
Like, because they did not make an announcement that I had lost my voice until the next performance.
00:10:20.480 --> 00:10:21.919
And they just cut songs.
00:10:22.159 --> 00:10:32.399
And of course, people are upset because this was a Christmas show at Globe, and they pay a lot of money to come see Beauty and the Beast, the show they know and love, and they're cutting all the big songs from the show.
00:10:32.720 --> 00:10:34.480
It was awful.
00:10:34.639 --> 00:10:39.120
And the director, Ruth Smiley, was very kind and she did all she could to take care of me.
00:10:39.200 --> 00:10:51.039
And this happens, people get sick, but I have lived since my late 20s with vocal nodes, which I got from serving tables, actually.
00:10:51.360 --> 00:11:08.399
If you don't speak properly, meaning if you speak at a certain decibel, as you do at restaurants, over people for long periods of time, five nights a week, you're not using your breath and your diaphragm properly, and you just exhaust yourself.
00:11:08.480 --> 00:11:20.399
Plus, those may 20s, so it's probably drinking, smoking, whatever, doing all the things, and then you find out you have vocal nodes, but they don't really um surgically remove nodes anymore.
00:11:20.559 --> 00:11:22.000
And so they're like calluses.
00:11:22.240 --> 00:11:26.639
And so when I have vocal issues, they will come back.
00:11:26.799 --> 00:11:31.840
And they came back once at the Rockwood Music Festival that I did.
00:11:32.159 --> 00:11:33.840
It was the last one I did.
00:11:34.000 --> 00:11:46.799
And listen, when I'm in Germany, this I had I had done this festival three or four times, and so I knew by this time, the last time, which I want to say was 2021.
00:11:47.039 --> 00:11:49.840
I don't know if it was, I think it was pre-pandemic.
00:11:50.080 --> 00:11:57.600
Um, and so I knew to behave, get as much sleep as you can, don't drink, don't do anything bad.
00:11:57.759 --> 00:11:59.519
And it was, it didn't matter.
00:11:59.679 --> 00:12:01.919
I still lost my voice because of the jet leg.
00:12:02.000 --> 00:12:08.639
I when you're tired, you're just your body is tired, your muscles are not working properly, including your vocal muscles.
00:12:08.879 --> 00:12:10.960
And I completely lost my voice.
00:12:11.200 --> 00:12:15.039
It was the one Lisa where I sang that song from Waitress.
00:12:15.360 --> 00:12:16.080
I recorded it.
00:12:16.240 --> 00:12:17.360
I remember Lisa was there.
00:12:17.840 --> 00:12:21.039
She was like, I like my hand so steady because I didn't have a tripod.
00:12:21.120 --> 00:12:22.639
I was like, ooh, she in it.
00:12:22.799 --> 00:12:24.240
I cannot mess this up.
00:12:24.480 --> 00:12:35.279
And I was like, for sure, that song is uh um holds a special place in my heart because it's about a woman who got pregnant, you know, didn't want to be pregnant.
00:12:35.440 --> 00:12:41.759
And I related to that because I was very unsure if I wanted to have kids and got pregnant by surprise, et cetera.
00:12:41.840 --> 00:12:44.080
And so I remember feeling very emotional.
00:12:44.159 --> 00:12:48.000
And again, like when you're like crying, everything closes up here.
00:12:48.080 --> 00:12:51.440
So anyway, I lost my voice and was inconsolable.
00:12:51.840 --> 00:12:55.679
And I remember talking to Jason, going, I have to cancel my set tonight.
00:12:55.759 --> 00:12:56.960
And I was weeping.
00:12:57.039 --> 00:13:00.159
And Jason was like, Brianna, it's okay.
00:13:00.480 --> 00:13:02.399
This happens all the time.
00:13:02.720 --> 00:13:05.759
And that idea was so foreign to me.
00:13:05.840 --> 00:13:13.919
I remember seeing an ENT doctor once who did me did a scope and was like, Yeah, you have nodes, like just making scene that they had come back.
00:13:14.320 --> 00:13:18.480
And I was again very upset, very emotional.
00:13:18.559 --> 00:13:23.840
And he was like, When opera singers come in and they have nodes, and it he's like, it happens all the time.
00:13:23.919 --> 00:13:25.759
They go, Okay, I'll cancel the shows.
00:13:25.919 --> 00:13:29.440
Where in musical theater, they go, Can you get a shot?
00:13:29.600 --> 00:13:33.519
Like they'll just give a shot of um like a steroid shot.
00:13:35.279 --> 00:13:35.840
Yeah.
00:13:36.080 --> 00:13:45.840
Anyway, so in musical theater, it's like you're a bad singer if you get nodes, but in opera, in rock, like in pop music, they just can't people cancel shows all the time.
00:13:46.000 --> 00:13:51.200
And Jason was so supportive, going, You just did have the performance of your life out there.
00:13:51.279 --> 00:13:53.120
He's like, You should feel very proud.
00:13:53.600 --> 00:14:00.559
Um, and I just couldn't feel it because I was so wrapped up in the idea that I was a hack because I'd lost my voice.
00:14:00.960 --> 00:14:04.960
And I still, you know, I don't know if Lisa, you relate to this.
00:14:05.120 --> 00:14:07.759
I still yeah, I'm very cautious.
00:14:07.919 --> 00:14:13.039
This year, vocally, I had my healthiest year, but I also didn't do anything too hard.
00:14:13.200 --> 00:14:18.480
I remember I was singing in Rome and had lost my voice, was singing in London, had lost my voice.
00:14:18.639 --> 00:14:24.240
Like anytime I have jet lag experience, I will lose my voice and I will be like, oh, I don't know how to sing.
00:14:24.399 --> 00:14:25.759
I'm a terrible singer.
00:14:26.080 --> 00:14:26.639
I can't.
00:14:26.720 --> 00:14:30.320
It's it's very hard to heal from that, I think.
00:14:30.559 --> 00:14:31.120
Mm-hmm.
00:14:31.600 --> 00:14:39.360
I'm such a speech person too, like because I did theater for so many years before I really transitioned into doing film and TV.
00:14:39.440 --> 00:14:49.279
And so even as someone who knows how to articulate and how to reach the back of the room without force, whenever and my voice I feel is like vocal cords of steel.
00:14:49.360 --> 00:14:52.960
Like I can, I can sing really loud, I can go for really long, I can rehearse all day long.
00:14:53.279 --> 00:15:01.759
But when I lose my voice, like if I get a tickle in my throat, I was like, oh, because I'm just getting back from losing my voice because I got a tickle in my throat.
00:15:01.840 --> 00:15:03.840
And I was like, I'm gonna lose my voice.
00:15:04.080 --> 00:15:10.559
Because the minute any any kind of bacteria or anything happens to the vocal cords, I just know what's gonna happen.
00:15:10.639 --> 00:15:13.440
Versus if I get a head cold or if I get a chest cold, I'm fine.
00:15:13.600 --> 00:15:15.440
Like it sing through it, no problem.
00:15:15.600 --> 00:15:22.879
Um, and there was a couple of shows where I was like, I think I'm getting sick, but then I would go to sing and it's like, nope, nope, it's not in my throat.
00:15:23.120 --> 00:15:24.559
Okay, we're cool.
00:15:24.799 --> 00:15:35.600
But it is um triggering because yeah, you you you you go back to ooh, if you ever saw the Celine Dion documentary, she's like, I don't want people to hear me sound like that.
00:15:35.840 --> 00:15:37.039
That's not what I sound like.
00:15:37.360 --> 00:15:50.639
No, because they don't know, and often people who don't understand music, like maybe a Jason Manns does, people will go, especially if they hear you for the first time, you know, they'll think you're a bad singer.
00:15:50.799 --> 00:15:53.919
And I don't know, you get a lot of like stuff wrapped up in it.
00:15:54.159 --> 00:16:04.480
But even doing like the like what even when I listen to the me singing over top of the trailer, because of how much I've grown and how much I've learned, I was like, oh, can I do it again?
00:16:05.759 --> 00:16:07.759
Oh, there are so many things I would change.
00:16:08.000 --> 00:16:10.080
I feel like that when I listen to my album.
00:16:10.240 --> 00:16:15.279
I don't I don't like when I have people are like, Oh, I love your album, I'm like, oh, it's terrible.
00:16:15.600 --> 00:16:22.559
But that was I did that, it's great, and I love it for so many reasons, other than how I sound.
00:16:22.960 --> 00:16:28.159
But that's how albums are like you grow, and I think I sound fine.
00:16:28.320 --> 00:16:35.600
I just I can hear myself being careful, and I don't sing like that anymore, and it's very freeing.
00:16:36.080 --> 00:16:41.279
And Jason always says, I refer to Jason a lot because he was a big inspiration for me.
00:16:41.440 --> 00:16:43.519
He really encouraged me to do the album.
00:16:43.759 --> 00:16:50.799
Um, he knows a lot about music, vocal health, and he's been a great steadfast for me in the music sense.
00:16:51.120 --> 00:17:00.480
But he was like, the greatest part of your voice is that growl that you have in your voice was something that was really drilled out of me in musical theater.
00:17:00.879 --> 00:17:09.279
So when I lean into it, it's very freeing because I'm like, oh no, this is a good thing, as opposed to it's sounding tired or something.
00:17:09.440 --> 00:17:10.319
It's just how I sound.
00:17:10.480 --> 00:17:12.240
I sound like that even when I talk.
00:17:12.559 --> 00:17:14.640
But uh, it's hard on your voice.
00:17:14.720 --> 00:17:17.039
So I wouldn't be able to sing like that eight shows a week.
00:17:17.119 --> 00:17:18.319
You know what I mean?
00:17:20.000 --> 00:17:24.480
No, I was just gonna say that I miss the idea of doing musical theater.
00:17:24.559 --> 00:17:29.359
I see musicals all the time, and I'm always like, oh, but sometimes I see musical theater and I see a singer singing.
00:17:29.440 --> 00:17:30.880
I'm like, no, I made the right decision.
00:17:30.960 --> 00:17:31.599
I can't do that.
00:17:31.759 --> 00:17:32.480
I can't do that.
00:17:32.960 --> 00:17:35.279
They're like athletes, eight shows a week.
00:17:35.519 --> 00:17:45.200
I think I think I think Ruth put a put a dream in my heart when she she like and it's always when it's always the friends who say something just so casually and like just off the cuff, you know.
00:17:45.279 --> 00:17:47.680
And she's like, you could totally do a musical on Broadway.
00:17:47.759 --> 00:17:48.640
And I was like, what?
00:17:49.839 --> 00:17:50.799
You think so?
00:17:51.359 --> 00:17:52.000
Really?
00:17:53.200 --> 00:17:54.640
You wouldn't lie to me.
00:17:55.279 --> 00:18:02.559
You know, and it's it's it's it is like a dream of mine to to sing in that way because I would love to.
00:18:02.640 --> 00:18:04.559
And I catch myself being like, Can I do it?
00:18:04.720 --> 00:18:05.680
Oh, okay, it's there.
00:18:05.759 --> 00:18:06.960
Yeah, I could, I could do that.
00:18:07.039 --> 00:18:08.160
I could I could do that.
00:18:08.319 --> 00:18:20.160
But the but the for me, I I think what what has always been the thing that holds me back is how I've always just identified as as an artist.
00:18:20.240 --> 00:18:33.279
And singer was never one of those titles I gave myself, even though vocally as a as a speaking actor, I will to the to the tenth degree be like, oh, I'm well-versed.
00:18:33.359 --> 00:18:44.160
I've got range, I've got depth, I've got like it's the thing that people most compliment me on in terms of my work of just like, wow, like you on stage and your voice and you know, your speaking voice.
00:18:44.240 --> 00:18:46.000
And when people hear me, they're like, I heard you on this.
00:18:46.240 --> 00:18:46.799
Like, was that you?
00:18:46.880 --> 00:18:56.799
And it was like, I never really think of myself as having a distinct voice, but to everybody else, they're like, Oh no, that's I don't know anybody else who sounds like you, but I feel like everybody sounds like me.
00:18:56.880 --> 00:18:59.359
So I feel like I hear myself all the time.
00:18:59.839 --> 00:19:14.079
But even the smallest little compliment like that, and just that little, you know, mustard seed of a belief that I could do it is is there in me now that wouldn't have been there if I'd never done the show.
00:19:14.400 --> 00:19:18.559
Because I literally I didn't sing until that episode.
00:19:18.799 --> 00:19:23.839
In truth, it'd probably been about 10 years since I'd even opened my mouth to sing.
00:19:24.160 --> 00:19:24.480
Wow.
00:19:24.640 --> 00:19:25.039
At all.
00:19:25.200 --> 00:19:30.880
Like, so when I got cast, I don't know, I don't know if you know how I got cast, but I mean, I'd audition for the show for 10 years.
00:19:31.119 --> 00:19:32.720
You auditioned for something else, right?
00:19:32.960 --> 00:19:36.960
And I'd auditioned for something else, one of the witches with Rowena's coven.
00:19:37.359 --> 00:19:42.240
And then when I didn't get it, I was like, I was so certain, man.
00:19:42.720 --> 00:19:44.799
They seemed to really like me, you know.
00:19:44.880 --> 00:19:49.200
Like Jensen gave me redirect, and Phil was like, that was awesome.
00:19:49.359 --> 00:19:50.000
Thanks so much.
00:19:50.079 --> 00:19:57.279
And then when I got a call being like, hey, there's this other character we wrote that we're not auditioning people for, but from what you did, we think you'd be really great for it.
00:19:57.440 --> 00:19:59.680
And it might recur, it might not, we don't know yet.
00:19:59.839 --> 00:20:00.799
Do you want to take it?
00:20:00.880 --> 00:20:03.839
And I was like, Yes, I don't even care what it is.
00:20:04.079 --> 00:20:06.480
And it was one scene, and I was like, sold.
00:20:06.640 --> 00:20:11.680
And they're like, Oh, a week later they called me back and asked if I could sing something.
00:20:11.759 --> 00:20:12.799
And I was like, Oh, yeah.
00:20:12.880 --> 00:20:22.400
So I sent over like a track of something I sang at Stratford, and it's just this little song that I did in a show that I kind of use as people for people to be like, Can she sing?
00:20:22.480 --> 00:20:24.240
It's like, well, yeah, this is what I sound like.
00:20:24.400 --> 00:20:33.279
And it usually gets me work as an actor, not as a not as a singer, but it's the thing that you're like, oh yeah, the actor can do the singing thing I need them to do.
00:20:33.359 --> 00:20:35.119
The here's the here's uh the cred.
00:20:35.920 --> 00:20:43.839
And when I when I got the song, I was like, oh no, this is such an iconic song of the show because I'm a fan of the show.
00:20:43.920 --> 00:20:46.000
So I was like, Oh, you're not gonna get me like this.
00:20:46.240 --> 00:20:48.079
I know exactly what this is.
00:20:48.400 --> 00:20:50.079
You want me to what?
00:20:50.640 --> 00:21:02.240
And so I immediately like started working with a vocal coach and was like, I need to learn this song, and I I know I only have to learn a couple of bars, but let's just learn the whole song because I just can't be taken by off by off my guard at all.
00:21:02.319 --> 00:21:06.079
Like I was just panicking, and then when we Do you remember?
00:21:07.039 --> 00:21:08.480
Yeah, keep going.
00:21:08.880 --> 00:21:09.680
Remember what?
00:21:10.160 --> 00:21:11.279
No, keep going.
00:21:11.759 --> 00:21:16.640
No, I just I just remember Phil coming up at the end being like, Hey, do you think you do you know the whole song?
00:21:16.720 --> 00:21:19.279
And I was like, Well, as a matter of fact, I do.
00:21:19.440 --> 00:21:20.559
Would you mind singing it?
00:21:20.640 --> 00:21:27.359
And like they'll go over into like the the booth and work with the editing, the sound editing guy, and sing it in a little trailer.
00:21:27.440 --> 00:21:28.400
And I was like, Yeah, sure.
00:21:28.559 --> 00:21:29.200
So we sang it.
00:21:29.279 --> 00:21:30.640
And I was like, I thought that was the end of it.
00:21:30.799 --> 00:21:37.279
And I thought they were gonna use it to cut in to my scene so that they had like a clean take.
00:21:37.359 --> 00:21:43.519
So when Phil sent me a message being like, hey, check this out, this is what we're gonna do with it, I was like, shut up.
00:21:44.480 --> 00:21:46.400
Oh, that's all so awesome.
00:21:46.720 --> 00:21:47.839
What a story, right?
00:21:47.920 --> 00:21:49.119
It's so wild.
00:21:49.680 --> 00:21:59.759
I remember the following year, they asked Emily Swallow and I, or Phil asked Emily Swallow and I to do basically what you had done, because I think it was such.
00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:05.200
A big hit, and he gave me something, and it was so high.
00:22:05.359 --> 00:22:10.640
I remember going in to record, and I remember him being like, Okay.
00:22:13.119 --> 00:22:16.880
Just being like, that's not quite what we were looking for.
00:22:17.200 --> 00:22:23.519
But I think there is a sometimes a thing, you know, and I could absolutely be internalizing this.
00:22:23.599 --> 00:22:25.039
Phil is such a good friend of mine.
00:22:25.119 --> 00:22:26.400
He is my fairy godfather.
00:22:26.559 --> 00:22:28.559
We still see each other at least once a year.
00:22:28.960 --> 00:22:30.960
So no, no hate from him.
00:22:31.119 --> 00:22:36.400
I know he loves me, but uh I think he thought I was a different kind of singer.
00:22:36.640 --> 00:22:38.799
I think because I have a musical theater background.
00:22:38.960 --> 00:22:41.920
Emily Swallow has an incredible range.
00:22:42.720 --> 00:22:44.400
She is an incredible tone.
00:22:44.559 --> 00:22:46.559
She is she is leatherlungs.
00:22:46.880 --> 00:22:53.759
She never, ever, ever sounds insecure or like she's going to lose her voice.
00:22:53.920 --> 00:22:59.039
She and I remember being backstage before S the years that she was doing all the conventions.
00:22:59.119 --> 00:23:00.319
We used to do warm-up.
00:23:00.400 --> 00:23:06.640
I have a warm-up on my phone from my vocal teacher, and she and I used to do it all the time.
00:23:07.599 --> 00:23:15.599
And uh I remember going into record and trying to get just, I was like, no, this is too high.
00:23:15.759 --> 00:23:18.480
And I was just like, I think I was really embarrassed.
00:23:18.640 --> 00:23:26.799
Um, but what I was gonna say was remember, was it last year that you came over to my house to work on that song for that movie?
00:23:27.440 --> 00:23:28.799
Was it Lifetime Movie?
00:23:29.039 --> 00:23:30.480
Yeah, that Christmas movie?
00:23:30.720 --> 00:23:32.240
Yeah, it was last year, right?
00:23:32.400 --> 00:23:37.279
Yeah, that I was seeing like the BB wine-ins, and I'm like, oh my god.
00:23:38.319 --> 00:23:46.000
Yeah, so she was, I think, I assume was I mean, just wanting to be as prepared as possible.
00:23:46.079 --> 00:23:48.000
And she was like, Can you can we work together?
00:23:48.160 --> 00:23:51.599
And I was like, ugh, yes, what a joy that was.
00:23:51.920 --> 00:23:53.119
I still have it on my phone.
00:23:53.279 --> 00:23:55.200
Also, yeah, good.
00:23:55.359 --> 00:23:55.759
You should.
00:23:55.920 --> 00:23:56.960
You sounded amazing.
00:23:57.519 --> 00:24:14.799
But it was also like really beautiful to watch Lisa, who we all know is like one of the greatest voices we've ever seen in real life, um, go from being nervous and not attempting notes to then feeling totally confident and free within the span of an hour.
00:24:15.279 --> 00:24:19.519
Like really reminds us how much of singing is up here.
00:24:20.640 --> 00:24:26.799
And this directly correlates to here and here and can prevent everything.
00:24:26.960 --> 00:24:42.000
It really has very not very little, but less than we think to do with actual skill and more to do with uh remembering how to use your instrument appropriately.
00:24:43.920 --> 00:24:48.400
Uh Saturday Special completely changed my life musically.
00:24:48.640 --> 00:24:56.880
Um Loudoin Swain and Jason Manns uh changed every I would not be singing still if it was not for Saturday Special.
00:24:57.039 --> 00:25:09.839
And not only because I get the opportunity to sing, but because I got the opportunity to discover my true voice and feel confident in that voice.
00:25:10.000 --> 00:25:21.119
Like I will never forget, like going in, I don't remember what song it was, but it was early on, those that first year or two, I sang so I used to sing a different song every two concerts.
00:25:21.279 --> 00:25:23.359
Like I was constantly changing songs.
00:25:23.680 --> 00:25:29.759
And I remember the band usually will pitch me a song and I'd be like, Oh, I tried, man, it's just too high.
00:25:29.839 --> 00:25:32.000
And Billy would be like, Well, let's just take it down.
00:25:32.559 --> 00:25:38.319
And I'm like, You can do that because in musical theater, no, you hit that note or you don't get the part.
00:25:38.559 --> 00:25:40.400
But the band was like, let's just take it down.
00:25:40.480 --> 00:25:43.200
There's only one song that we couldn't take down.
00:25:43.359 --> 00:25:55.279
We tried, but it was too low for the band to play, and that was um the song from Wayward Sisters, the hailstorm song.
00:25:55.920 --> 00:26:06.720
I am the fire, uh, which I love and I'm sure they love as well, but it was too that we had to take it down so far because it's got a massive range that it was just too low for the band.
00:26:06.880 --> 00:26:13.519
But um, they helped me um discover my own authentic sound.
00:26:13.920 --> 00:26:20.319
I uh recently at the last convention sang Wave with them, the loud and swain version of Wave.
00:26:20.400 --> 00:26:25.359
And it is one of my favorite songs of all time because I just love it.
00:26:25.440 --> 00:26:25.839
I love it.
00:26:25.920 --> 00:26:30.799
They sang it at uh Sadie, the concert we went to on Rich's birthday.
00:26:31.039 --> 00:26:34.960
They performed it and they hadn't performed it in so long, and I kind of forgotten about that song.
00:26:35.119 --> 00:26:37.839
And I used to perform it with them all the time.
00:26:38.079 --> 00:26:40.480
And I was like, oh my God, this is the best song.
00:26:40.640 --> 00:26:45.519
Like, I truly think it's one of the greatest rock songs, period, let alone my favorite of theirs.
00:26:45.759 --> 00:26:49.440
And I asked them, I was like, can we do that at the next convention?
00:26:49.599 --> 00:26:54.000
And then for whatever reason, I think I missed one of the Saturday night specials.
00:26:54.240 --> 00:27:01.440
And then we sang it at in Nashville, and it brings me such joy to sing because I can just wail.
00:27:01.519 --> 00:27:04.000
It's like some of those notes sit perfectly.
00:27:04.240 --> 00:27:16.480
The the tone of my voice that I I love and that I get prided on being a unique sound for me comes out in that song.
00:27:16.640 --> 00:27:19.279
I'm also not singing alone, like I'm singing with Rob.
00:27:19.519 --> 00:27:24.400
And so it takes a little heat off of it in terms of nerves.
00:27:24.880 --> 00:27:32.960
And I it's one of the only performances in the last while that I go back and I look at, I'm like, oh, that's me.
00:27:33.039 --> 00:27:40.400
And I remember posting a little snippet on my personal Instagram, which is just friends and family.
00:27:40.640 --> 00:27:48.319
And I had friends of mine who are still working in musical theater, you know, in Toronto, elsewhere in the States.
00:27:48.640 --> 00:27:51.440
And they're like, holy shit.
00:27:51.839 --> 00:28:00.000
And to have people who are in musical theater who are successful musical theater performers to say that about me when I obviously think that about them.
00:28:00.160 --> 00:28:02.720
Uh, it was very validating.
00:28:03.519 --> 00:28:04.559
Feels really good.
00:28:05.680 --> 00:28:07.359
What about you, Lisa?
00:28:08.240 --> 00:28:12.880
Well, that's how I feel going into singing at the supernatural conventions.
00:28:12.960 --> 00:28:22.799
It's always been such an incredible experience because it couldn't be a more warm crowd to fall truly on your face in front of it, if that is the thing.
00:28:23.279 --> 00:28:33.519
Truly, the number of times I've screwed up in front of that audience, I've also like been in that show and like completely stopped and gone, stop, no, we gotta start again.
00:28:33.759 --> 00:28:40.799
And the crowd just thinks it's you know, and like when we tour with the PBJ tour with Jason and Rich, it's like a jam sesh.
00:28:40.880 --> 00:28:42.880
We fuck up all the time.
00:28:43.440 --> 00:28:47.119
And it's part of the fun and it's part of the discovery.
00:28:47.359 --> 00:28:53.039
It takes the heat out of it, and it makes me feel like this is what music should be.
00:28:53.200 --> 00:28:57.680
Music should be joy, it should not be anxiety.
00:28:59.039 --> 00:29:05.839
I still remember the first time Lisa sang, and I remember all the actors backstage just being like, What?
00:29:06.240 --> 00:29:14.160
Like, not quite surprised, because you can hear Lisa's voice and her singing voice.
00:29:14.400 --> 00:29:20.400
And so you you hear her and you're like, she better fucking sing, or I'm gonna kill her.
00:29:22.480 --> 00:29:35.519
Because her the tone of her speaking voice is so uh just sultry, and it sounds like you just want to like poke her and she she can just start singing perfectly, or I just want to push the sing button.
00:29:36.079 --> 00:29:36.960
You're hilarious.
00:29:37.200 --> 00:29:42.240
Um you're hilarious, but yeah, she's such a man, she's such a star.
00:29:42.400 --> 00:29:45.039
I remember being backstage for that first performance.
00:29:45.440 --> 00:29:46.079
So nervous.
00:29:46.480 --> 00:29:47.039
Very exciting.
00:29:47.359 --> 00:29:49.359
So it's I still get so nervous to sing.
00:29:49.519 --> 00:29:54.160
I still get so nervous to sing, mainly because I I'm such a rehearser.
00:29:54.880 --> 00:29:59.119
So when I don't have rehearsal, I'm like, no, no, that's not fun.
00:29:59.359 --> 00:30:00.960
Do you know who I was talking to this year?
00:30:01.039 --> 00:30:05.680
Was Julie McNiven, who has come back on the circuit, and she's also a great singer.
00:30:05.920 --> 00:30:13.759
And I think I'm pretty sure she comes, Lisa, from the same background you and I, which is like musical theater.
00:30:13.839 --> 00:30:19.680
So therefore, lots of rehearsal and not, and so I remember talking to her about the in-ears.
00:30:19.920 --> 00:30:22.640
You go up there and the sound check is for you put one.
00:30:22.720 --> 00:30:23.759
I put one in.
00:30:23.920 --> 00:30:26.160
I think Lisa, do you wear them at all?
00:30:26.640 --> 00:30:27.119
I wear one.
00:30:27.920 --> 00:30:28.480
I wear one.
00:30:28.720 --> 00:30:30.559
Yeah, Kim doesn't wear any.
00:30:31.119 --> 00:30:40.480
Um, and I said, you just got to find a good, like while you're singing, look at your mic pack, find a good volume for you, make sure you can hear yourself.
00:30:40.640 --> 00:30:43.119
Like, this is what the sound check is for.
00:30:43.359 --> 00:30:50.240
Cause she had didn't know how to use, like, she knows how to use a microphone, but she doesn't know how to do it in that kind of.
00:30:50.480 --> 00:30:56.000
And I was just like, she was nervous about all of that stuff because she can sing her tits off.
00:30:56.160 --> 00:31:09.519
Um, she's great, but you know, it's a nerve-wracking thing to be like, okay, Lisa, your turn to get up in front of your peers and potentially fall in your face, especially if you are, you know, new to the circuit.
00:31:09.599 --> 00:31:14.480
That's a very, I think, you know, not everybody remembers how nerve-wracking that that is.
00:31:14.720 --> 00:31:15.440
Oh my God.
00:31:15.599 --> 00:31:16.640
Well, that's the hardest part.
00:31:16.720 --> 00:31:20.480
It's it's not failing, it's failing in front of people you love and respect.
00:31:21.039 --> 00:31:21.519
Yeah.
00:31:21.759 --> 00:31:22.079
Yeah.
00:31:22.319 --> 00:31:26.319
And potentially them going, oh, she's not as talented as I thought she was.
00:31:26.559 --> 00:31:27.440
Like that's okay.
00:31:28.319 --> 00:31:30.160
It's Brianna's last con, I guess.
00:31:30.400 --> 00:31:32.240
Brianna's last con, everyone.
00:31:32.559 --> 00:31:35.839
You know, I mean, it's it's so, it's so, it's so intimidating.
00:31:36.000 --> 00:31:40.880
It's very because you guys are all so, so good, and you're such a well-oiled machine.
00:31:41.039 --> 00:31:43.920
So it's like, I mean, it's the way that I came into the show.
00:31:44.000 --> 00:31:45.119
You're like, it's season 11.
00:31:45.200 --> 00:31:48.400
You're just like, oh, no pressure.
00:31:48.640 --> 00:31:49.920
No pressure, but whatsoever.
00:31:50.720 --> 00:31:56.480
The hilarity is that we're not a well-oiled machine, but I totally understand that's what it looks like.
00:31:56.640 --> 00:31:58.079
That's what it looked like to me when I came on.
00:31:58.160 --> 00:31:59.519
I was like, these guys have been doing it forever.
00:31:59.599 --> 00:32:01.200
This band's been together for 20 years.
00:32:01.359 --> 00:32:07.440
Like, I'm gonna fuck everything up, and they're all gonna quit the band and they're gonna blame me.
00:32:07.839 --> 00:32:08.160
No.
00:32:09.039 --> 00:32:10.079
No, just kidding.
00:32:10.400 --> 00:32:13.599
Lisa, I've for a second you were talking about.
00:32:13.759 --> 00:32:15.759
I mean, this was a long time ago, so I don't know.
00:32:15.920 --> 00:32:21.039
You were talking about potentially putting together a concert in Toronto.
00:32:21.119 --> 00:32:22.319
Do you ever think about that still?
00:32:22.559 --> 00:32:22.880
I do.
00:32:22.960 --> 00:32:23.759
I I actually am.
00:32:23.920 --> 00:32:25.440
I lost my voice, so I wasn't able to do it.
00:32:25.519 --> 00:32:32.799
I wanted to actually do a little something for the holidays, but I feel like I've lost my voice and it's it's more of a repair than I realize.
00:32:32.960 --> 00:32:38.000
So, like I had to be on vocal bed rest for a week, which I've never had to have happen before.
00:32:38.160 --> 00:32:40.079
Where it's like, no, I actually just couldn't talk.
00:32:40.559 --> 00:32:41.839
Like I was Yeah.
00:32:42.079 --> 00:32:44.559
How did you do that from being sick?
00:32:44.960 --> 00:32:47.839
Yeah, it was a little tickle in my throat, and I was in Germany.
00:32:48.000 --> 00:32:54.240
And so when I had to fly back, like the being on the flight with the dry air and the recycled air, and then you know what I mean?
00:32:54.319 --> 00:33:00.240
Like all every time being a little cold, it was like, ooh, that it just it just exasperated it.
00:33:00.400 --> 00:33:03.519
And so I came back and was like, You're on total vocal bed rest.
00:33:03.680 --> 00:33:08.720
I had to cancel like two auditions that I had because I was like, I can't like I can't even talk.
00:33:08.799 --> 00:33:11.279
That's how I was, and so they're like, Oh shit.
00:33:11.519 --> 00:33:27.039
It every time there's something overseas, if I have to sing, even in Rome, like I'm always just that that amount of like fatigue, especially if you're at a convention because you're talking a lot at a convention.
00:33:27.119 --> 00:33:34.319
You're not even if you're not partying, you're talking a lot, and it does use up, you know.
00:33:34.559 --> 00:33:38.319
You you only have so much lubrication in your vocal fold.
00:33:38.640 --> 00:33:40.079
So yeah, that sucks.
00:33:40.160 --> 00:33:43.039
But I'm glad that you you're very good at going.
00:33:43.279 --> 00:33:47.119
No, I would be like, Am I gonna make anybody mad?
00:33:47.279 --> 00:33:49.119
Is anybody mad at me?
00:33:49.759 --> 00:33:55.440
No, but it's I have been inspired to to really sing more because of supernatural.
00:33:55.519 --> 00:34:03.920
Like, like I said, like I I did, I didn't even utter a word of a note before I did my very first episode.
00:34:04.000 --> 00:34:05.839
Like, people were like, Oh, right, you sing.
00:34:05.920 --> 00:34:07.680
I was like, I mean, I guess so.
00:34:07.920 --> 00:34:11.519
If I have to, is how I always framed it.
00:34:11.599 --> 00:34:13.840
I was always, I'm an actor who sings, I'm not a singer.
00:34:13.920 --> 00:34:16.960
Don't refer to me as a singer, and please stop calling me a singer.
00:34:17.039 --> 00:34:22.400
And I had like at our agency, um, Sandy would always just give give the highest of praise.
00:34:22.480 --> 00:34:28.960
I was our first our first manager, and I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:34:29.119 --> 00:34:31.519
Undersell me, undersell me, under, under.
00:34:31.840 --> 00:34:33.760
Don't those expectations are too high.
00:34:33.840 --> 00:34:34.800
I know, you know what I mean?
00:34:34.880 --> 00:34:35.760
And I was like, no, no.
00:34:35.840 --> 00:34:37.280
She's like, she sounds like Tina Turner.
00:34:37.360 --> 00:34:38.719
I was like, I need you to stop.
00:34:38.960 --> 00:34:39.679
Stop stop.
00:34:40.000 --> 00:34:40.880
Oh my god.
00:34:41.440 --> 00:34:44.239
No, because then they're gonna expect that.
00:34:44.639 --> 00:34:46.320
That's not why I can you know what I mean?
00:34:46.400 --> 00:34:48.719
And so I would sound a bit like Tina Turner.
00:34:49.039 --> 00:34:49.519
Stop.
00:34:49.760 --> 00:34:57.920
But you know, I mean, her stuff like the surprise was how how how much her stuff sits in my voice so well because I've only ever sung along.
00:34:58.639 --> 00:34:59.840
You know what I mean?
00:35:00.079 --> 00:35:04.480
What else is in what would you like in if in your heart of hearts?
00:35:04.559 --> 00:35:09.280
And don't ask me this because I don't have any answers, but what would you want to sing in your concert?
00:35:09.519 --> 00:35:11.760
Oh, like what do you sing when you're at home?
00:35:12.000 --> 00:35:21.840
Well, I mean, I definitely want to, I would, I would want to sing Proud Mary just because that was the song that started it all, you know, but it it wouldn't be the it wouldn't be the starter.
00:35:22.079 --> 00:35:25.039
Um, it's it's not yours to throw away.
00:35:25.199 --> 00:35:33.920
It was a sound, a song from Nashville, and it's all about how your gifts aren't yours to throw away, they're divinely given and a responsibility to share.
00:35:34.079 --> 00:35:40.639
I also would sing River Deep, Mount High, because that was like my kid's song that I absolutely love singing it.
00:35:40.880 --> 00:35:43.760
Let it rain by Amanda Marshall.
00:35:44.320 --> 00:35:46.000
I've thought about singing that before.
00:35:46.159 --> 00:35:48.719
Any Amanda Marshall represent.
00:35:48.960 --> 00:35:52.239
I tried to learn how to play that on guitar when I was in high school.
00:35:52.400 --> 00:35:54.079
I love Amanda Marshall.
00:35:54.320 --> 00:35:55.920
Love Amanda Marshall, yeah.
00:35:56.159 --> 00:35:56.719
Oh, yeah.
00:35:56.880 --> 00:36:01.199
I mean, it's uh it's if you're a 90s baby, you know.
00:36:01.760 --> 00:36:03.119
Oh, that's a great song for you.
00:36:03.199 --> 00:36:06.559
Any Amanda Marshall beautiful goodbye, that'd be good for you too.
00:36:06.800 --> 00:36:07.519
You know, yeah.
00:36:07.599 --> 00:36:11.519
So I mean I've got a couple of that's like totally your tone.
00:36:11.840 --> 00:36:24.079
Yeah, I've got a couple, I've got a couple of of songs that I would sing that uh that have stories attached to them that have a lot of meaning because of the time that I was singing them in my life, what they represent.
00:36:24.320 --> 00:36:26.880
Um, but I I am gonna put together a little con.
00:36:27.119 --> 00:36:45.039
I actually was like trying to think of like, I wonder if I could like fly people in so I could do like a song with people because like I'd want to sing with all the people who who brought who brought music because like I have a friend Stuart and he's an incredible musical theater performer and he's just about to start doing Juliet, and you know, and I'm so excited to see him in that.
00:36:45.199 --> 00:36:58.320
And he's just been this incredible talent that I've always known he's like when we went to he went to Shaw for his first time and and we we were there together, and I he was gonna do one of the cabaret nights, and everybody's like, What are you doing?
00:36:58.400 --> 00:37:06.559
And I'm like setting up my camera, and I was like, Well, y'all don't know he's about to throw uh down, and I want to be red D.
00:37:06.800 --> 00:37:08.880
And then when he started singing, people were like, What the fuck?
00:37:08.960 --> 00:37:10.639
And I was like, I got it all on camera, honey.
00:37:10.719 --> 00:37:16.880
Well, as you know, I like to get the things on the cams, and I God bless, God bless to get the things on the cams.
00:37:17.119 --> 00:37:40.400
So I I would love to have a concert where I'm able to like sing with you know, with you, with with him, with my the only vocal teacher who ever like really heard me, really saw me, Marcassius, and and we were doing a musical theater class, and my teacher Marcassius, who's incredible, um, I was singing and you know, doing all the things, and he's like, and it was like sharp flat, sharp flat, sharp flat.
00:37:40.480 --> 00:37:41.760
It was just the worst thing I ever sing.
00:37:41.920 --> 00:37:46.320
I think I was singing Colors of the Wind or something, and he was like, Oh, good song.
00:37:46.639 --> 00:37:47.440
It's great.
00:37:47.679 --> 00:37:57.039
Could you could you close your eyes and just sing like you're by yourself, like ignore all of us, you know?
00:37:57.280 --> 00:38:02.079
And he let me turn around and not do the classic musical theater thing that they were training us to do.
00:38:02.159 --> 00:38:10.960
And he was like, I just want you to sing from your heart, you know, which is something my mom would always say is like just sing from your heart and just see what happens, you know.
00:38:11.280 --> 00:38:12.239
And so I did.
00:38:12.559 --> 00:38:13.920
This was recently.
00:38:14.239 --> 00:38:15.760
No, no, this was in theater school.
00:38:15.920 --> 00:38:16.800
This was in theater school.
00:38:16.960 --> 00:38:19.440
Okay, and he was like, sing from your heart, and I did it.
00:38:19.599 --> 00:38:23.360
And he was just like, You didn't go sharp or flat once.
00:38:24.239 --> 00:38:25.519
See, like all up here.
00:38:26.000 --> 00:38:29.440
The pressure you put on yourself is gonna outweigh.
00:38:29.599 --> 00:38:35.920
And so he found me a song that I was like, I didn't even know I could do that.
00:38:36.079 --> 00:38:38.000
I didn't even know I had the capacity to do that.
00:38:38.159 --> 00:38:47.360
And he was just such a champion, like, because I really started to get down on my voice by the end of theater school that I was like, nobody even put me in the cabaret.
00:38:47.519 --> 00:38:52.239
And then somebody, you know, in in the faculty was like, This is crazy.
00:38:52.480 --> 00:38:53.920
Lisa needs a song.
00:38:54.079 --> 00:38:55.199
And I was like, okay.
00:38:55.360 --> 00:38:59.199
And they like rehearsed on, like, I've been so babied with my voice.
00:38:59.280 --> 00:39:03.519
And then people hear me sing and they they're like, uh, this isn't adding up.
00:39:03.599 --> 00:39:09.519
And I was like, you gotta understand how the mind can entrap you and enslave you into a way of thinking about yourself.
00:39:09.760 --> 00:39:13.920
And also like the things we were told, you know, like we were talking about at the beginning.
00:39:14.079 --> 00:39:31.360
It's like I was constantly told, look, I have a beautiful tone to my voice, it's unique, um, it's fun, it's, you know, all the things, but it does not I I know it does not sustain eight shows a week, and I know that through practice.
00:39:31.599 --> 00:39:37.280
And in order for me to sing eight shows a week, I would have to go on vocal rest.
00:39:37.760 --> 00:39:41.840
And I used to do that when I did musicals, I'd have to be on vocal rest all day long.
00:39:42.000 --> 00:39:45.440
And I was like, I cannot live my life like this, right?
00:39:45.599 --> 00:39:46.960
Being constantly on vocal rest.
00:39:47.039 --> 00:39:54.960
Like, if you ever hear stories about Adina Menzel when she was doing Wicked, she was like, I could not nap between shows because my voice would fall asleep.
00:39:55.119 --> 00:40:03.679
She had a steam, like a steam shower put in her apartment so that she could steam her voice every day.
00:40:03.840 --> 00:40:07.119
Like people do crazy things when they're on Broadway.
00:40:07.280 --> 00:40:10.400
Some people have, you know, leatherlungs who are just impenetrable.
00:40:10.480 --> 00:40:14.159
And that might be luck, that might be incredible training.
00:40:14.480 --> 00:40:15.920
I don't have either.
00:40:16.159 --> 00:40:22.079
So I didn't start singing like properly until I was in college.
00:40:22.320 --> 00:40:24.159
I didn't learn how to sing when I was little.
00:40:24.239 --> 00:40:25.519
I just sang off the radio.
00:40:25.599 --> 00:40:28.880
Um, but what I was gonna say is God, would it ever be nice?
00:40:28.960 --> 00:40:36.719
Like it was so nice to get an opportunity to sing musical theater song at Rockwood because Aaron was there and he also comes from, he was playing piano.
00:40:36.800 --> 00:40:39.519
He also comes from musical theater background, so he got it.
00:40:39.840 --> 00:40:41.360
Me wanting to sing waitress.
00:40:41.760 --> 00:40:54.559
But yeah, no, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna actually do it because I I would love golden because of because of, you know, Loud and Swain is just they're just incredible human beings.
00:40:54.880 --> 00:41:00.880
If you if you watch any video of me singing with them, all you see is me looking at Mike, just being like, Do I go now?
00:41:01.039 --> 00:41:02.159
Mike Borja, always.
00:41:02.239 --> 00:41:02.719
He's the best.
00:41:02.880 --> 00:41:03.440
Do you go now?
00:41:03.599 --> 00:41:04.639
Now is it now?
00:41:04.800 --> 00:41:06.559
Okay, now, okay.
00:41:06.960 --> 00:41:08.639
But he'll smile at you through the whole thing.
00:41:08.719 --> 00:41:10.079
He's not gonna be helpful in that way.
00:41:10.239 --> 00:41:11.119
He's the best.
00:41:11.280 --> 00:41:15.440
And he'll play it back until you're like, Are you ready?
00:41:15.599 --> 00:41:17.119
He like the good double Dutch.
00:41:17.280 --> 00:41:19.039
You know, you're just like, I got you, I got you.
00:41:19.119 --> 00:41:20.400
You come in when you're ready.
00:41:20.719 --> 00:41:24.239
Billy is always the one that I talk to about very specifically.
00:41:24.320 --> 00:41:25.519
Like, what do you think about this song?
00:41:25.679 --> 00:41:29.119
He's the one that I will pitch to, that will pitch songs to me.
00:41:29.440 --> 00:41:32.000
Everything gets okayed through Rob, of course.
00:41:32.320 --> 00:41:35.440
Mike and Norton are just such cheerleaders.
00:41:35.920 --> 00:41:41.760
Um, yeah, they're all so uniquely awesome and supportive.
00:41:42.000 --> 00:41:42.320
All of them.
00:41:45.199 --> 00:41:50.239
Because, like you said, the people who you're like, wow, I really like respect you.
00:41:50.800 --> 00:41:56.719
Like you've got an incredible voice, you've got an incredible power presence, like you do this.
00:41:57.280 --> 00:42:00.960
I'm faking it, you know, for the most part.
00:42:01.280 --> 00:42:08.000
But truly, because of them, I've I've been inspired to be like, I could I could sing more.
00:42:08.400 --> 00:42:09.679
I think I could do a lot.
00:42:10.079 --> 00:42:14.159
And doesn't it also make you go, maybe everybody's faking it?
00:42:14.400 --> 00:42:14.719
You know?
00:42:15.519 --> 00:42:17.119
Oh, of course, of course.
00:42:17.360 --> 00:42:21.199
You're like, all right, like I'm not sure if you're faking it actually.
00:42:21.599 --> 00:42:22.639
Yeah, yeah.
00:42:24.000 --> 00:42:26.239
It is what you decide it to be, right?
00:42:26.719 --> 00:42:27.599
No, exactly.
00:42:27.760 --> 00:42:34.480
I mean, this this world has changed so much in my spirit because I really do think of it as a spiritual practice.
00:42:34.559 --> 00:42:47.199
It's something that I think the voice is so connected to, how we identify ourselves, how we create change in our lives by changing the way that we speak and the tones that we even use and connect to and resonate with.
00:42:47.360 --> 00:42:53.679
And now I'm at a place where I'm just like, okay, I can hear a compliment and be like, okay, thank you.
00:42:54.000 --> 00:42:57.840
Because I in my head, I'm like, they love to lie right to your face.
00:42:58.159 --> 00:42:58.800
Yes, yes.
00:42:58.880 --> 00:43:00.239
You're just saying that because you have to.
00:43:00.480 --> 00:43:01.760
You're just saying that to be nice.
00:43:01.920 --> 00:43:04.000
Like, I thought I think I thought somebody told you to say that.
00:43:04.239 --> 00:43:07.280
Jason was just trying to be nice for like a good year.
00:43:07.360 --> 00:43:13.199
I was like, until he was like, no, we should, if not for COVID, we probably would have made the album we were thinking about making.
00:43:13.360 --> 00:43:20.880
And it was like, you know, until until up until about that point, I was just like, you can stop lying to my face, Jason.
00:43:21.280 --> 00:43:23.920
I have to do the concept for matter while I can tell.
00:43:24.480 --> 00:43:32.320
I know Jason well enough now because we've worked together so much personally, just him and I, that I can tell when it's a genuine compliment now.
00:43:32.639 --> 00:43:40.000
Between the differences, and that's not because he'll be like, it's not because he'll say something nice when I've actually sung terribly.
00:43:40.480 --> 00:43:42.079
That's just not, he's just would.
00:43:42.320 --> 00:43:44.400
If I sang terribly, he wouldn't say anything.
00:43:44.559 --> 00:43:50.559
If I sang fine and good, he'd be like, good job, you know, high five me or nice work or whatever it is.
00:43:50.880 --> 00:43:59.760
But if I sing well to the point where he's like, there's like a bit of a proud papa moment, he'll go, that's how you should always sing.
00:44:00.159 --> 00:44:01.760
He'll say something like that.
00:44:02.079 --> 00:44:03.519
And that's that feels good.
00:44:03.679 --> 00:44:03.920
Yeah.
00:44:04.079 --> 00:44:05.360
That's what you should always say.
00:44:05.840 --> 00:44:07.119
He's never said that to me.
00:44:07.360 --> 00:44:08.800
And it's always.
00:44:09.199 --> 00:44:09.840
Yeah.
00:44:11.840 --> 00:44:12.559
Never heard that.
00:44:13.039 --> 00:44:13.280
Okay.
00:44:15.280 --> 00:44:16.559
I'm just fucking with you.
00:44:17.119 --> 00:44:20.719
He has not ever said that, but I I think it's probably unique to have a person.
00:44:21.280 --> 00:44:24.159
I think that's a me personal one because he knows.
00:44:24.320 --> 00:44:27.679
I mean, I don't, I don't know if you and him, I don't know your relationship.
00:44:27.840 --> 00:44:30.159
He knows that I have a hard time taking a compliment.
00:44:30.320 --> 00:44:33.039
Or if he was to give me a note, I'd rip his head off.
00:44:33.199 --> 00:44:35.440
Like he and I are pretty tight at this point.
00:44:35.519 --> 00:44:38.320
So it's hard to take a compliment or a note from him.
00:44:38.480 --> 00:44:40.960
So he has to like maneuver ways to do it.
00:44:41.119 --> 00:44:42.239
Poor guy.
00:44:43.119 --> 00:44:44.239
He's fine.
00:44:44.639 --> 00:44:49.519
This was something I was going to say is that this year I found it quite challenging finding songs for Saturday Special.
00:44:49.599 --> 00:44:54.159
I'm different than Lisa in the way that I get really kind of bored with singing the same song.
00:44:54.239 --> 00:44:59.599
So I'll sing it once, twice, maybe three times, and I'll be like, new song, time for a new song.
00:44:59.760 --> 00:45:04.320
Unless it's like really like the perfect song for me, and then I like, I can sing the shit out of it.
00:45:04.400 --> 00:45:06.000
But this year I was like, I need a new song.
00:45:06.239 --> 00:45:08.880
Billy and I, I kept pitching Billy, pitching Billy.
00:45:08.960 --> 00:45:10.719
And he's like, no, no, no.
00:45:11.119 --> 00:45:19.119
Um, and then he was like, at this point, it really only makes sense to sing songs from Supernatural.
00:45:19.360 --> 00:45:28.480
So he and I went through on, I don't know, Apple Music or whatever, like we tried to find all the songs that were on Supernatural, and there's a lot of them.
00:45:28.719 --> 00:45:33.599
And that's how we came up with Fat Bottom Girls, because it was actually on Supernatural.
00:45:34.320 --> 00:45:37.519
So, yes, we have been through it all, and that's how it's influenced.
00:45:37.599 --> 00:45:47.360
There's lots of songs I would like to sing, but they're either like too karaoke or I've never heard of them because I'm a generation behind everybody because I'm just I'm just little.
00:45:50.400 --> 00:45:51.840
I adore you so much.
00:45:52.400 --> 00:45:57.199
Uh I I'm like, let me just sing the same song over and over.
00:45:58.000 --> 00:46:00.559
Let let me let me make this my I will always love you.
00:46:00.639 --> 00:46:01.280
You know what I mean?
00:46:01.360 --> 00:46:02.800
That's that's where my brain is.
00:46:02.960 --> 00:46:08.239
And it's like, I still remember when I get a message from Rob and he's like, hey, Jensen wants to do blow tonight.
00:46:08.320 --> 00:46:11.760
I was like, what are you trying to do to me, people?
00:46:12.400 --> 00:46:15.599
You're trying to set me up to fail, is what you're trying to do.
00:46:15.840 --> 00:46:18.559
You're you're trying to make me look stupid.
00:46:18.960 --> 00:46:20.559
I see, I see your game now.
00:46:20.880 --> 00:46:36.000
You know, I I have I I would love to record O Death again, like properly, and really make it my own this time, and and not sing it from a place of like, I hope I don't fuck it up, you know?
00:46:36.239 --> 00:46:46.800
Um, because I'm such a different singer now than I am than I was when I first started, that it would just be a completely different song.
00:46:47.199 --> 00:47:06.000
And it would have different energy and a different vibe, and there's just so much more that I could do with it because I just I feel like I could fly in the song now, more more so before where I felt like I needed the wings of you know, to be made for me and and to have so much support and just felt incredibly insecure.
00:47:06.159 --> 00:47:08.159
Um, and I also knew what that song meant.
00:47:08.239 --> 00:47:12.000
And and when I when I joined the show, I was like, I wonder if I'm death.
00:47:12.400 --> 00:47:16.239
Because like this is a song that introduces death.
00:47:16.559 --> 00:47:17.280
Do you know what I mean?
00:47:17.360 --> 00:47:24.800
Like, as a fan of the show, you start making up stories in your head because I'm like, well, technically, I mean, this was a song that brought death on, and this is I know that you just got killed.
00:47:25.679 --> 00:47:27.280
Carry the one, it makes sense, you know.
00:47:27.440 --> 00:47:29.920
But and I always played it as if I thought I was death.
00:47:30.000 --> 00:47:32.480
So when I became death, I was like, shut up.
00:47:33.760 --> 00:47:35.599
I you manifested it.
00:47:35.920 --> 00:47:36.559
What?
00:47:36.800 --> 00:47:40.960
Like it was just so wild, which is a whole other story in itself of how I found out about that.
00:47:41.119 --> 00:47:49.039
But I mean, in my mind, I know how cast, when I first got cast, I thought this has to be the new death.
00:47:49.199 --> 00:47:50.559
This has I may I must be.
00:47:50.719 --> 00:47:52.320
I mean, I don't know how, I mean, maybe not.
00:47:52.400 --> 00:47:54.239
This doesn't make any sense, but maybe I don't know.
00:47:54.320 --> 00:47:55.360
Why would you use this song?
00:47:55.440 --> 00:48:02.639
Like, I just started doing all the actor questions when especially when you know the show, you can't help but go down that avenue.
00:48:02.719 --> 00:48:06.719
But that would be one song that I would love to come back to and just do it proper.
00:48:08.079 --> 00:48:09.280
I would like to hear that.
00:48:20.320 --> 00:48:22.239
Now for the show's credits.
00:48:22.960 --> 00:48:28.719
This season is a co-production between Denim Wrapped Nightmares and In Defense of Fandom.
00:48:29.519 --> 00:48:33.440
Cover art for In Defense of Fandom was designed by Liz Hand.
00:48:34.079 --> 00:48:39.039
Cover art for Denim Wrapped Nightmares was designed by Rain Zielman.
00:48:39.840 --> 00:48:42.800
Music featured in this episode was by Brianna Buckmaster.
00:48:43.440 --> 00:48:46.079
See links to her music and more in the show notes.
00:48:46.400 --> 00:48:49.119
If you've enjoyed this collaboration, we want to know.
00:48:53.599 --> 00:48:58.559
And while you're at it, make sure you're subscribed to both shows so you never miss an episode.
00:48:58.800 --> 00:49:03.280
Also, a review on Apple Podcasts wouldn't hurt either.
00:49:04.000 --> 00:49:05.199
See you next episode.
00:49:06.239 --> 00:49:06.559
Bye.
00:49:21.679 --> 00:49:30.960
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