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In this episode, I open up about a period when I lost my final appeal, my son had already relocated overseas, my partner was heavily pregnant, and I simply could not travel. With the help of attachment focussed social worker Catherine Williams, I built a plan to stay in my son’s daily life through predictable calls, creative rituals, and a neutral story that explained the court decisions without blame. I share the moment we finally reunited in the UK and how that first hug confirmed that all the effort to stay connected had been worth it.
I also push back on the idea that backing off contact somehow makes things easier for a child who misses you. Drawing on attachment principles and my own experience, I talk about why consistency beats perfection, how kids experience long silences, and why it is kinder to keep showing up even when goodbyes are hard. To close, I encourage dads to get both solid legal advice and seasoned counselling support early, so they can protect their parenting time while staying grounded and connected for their kids.
What you’ll hear in this episode:
A tribute to Judson, a former guest and ski guide who died suddenly of a heart attack
The “fitness paradox” and why very active middle aged dads still need to think about heart health
How an eight month separation unfolded after losing a final appeal on relocation
The daily Skype routine that helped my son feel I was still part of his everyday life
How I used a child friendly “life story” book to explain court decisions without blaming his mum
The emotional first reunion in the UK and what it revealed about secure attachment
Why pulling back to “make it easier” usually hurts kids more than regular goodbyes
Simple, realistic ways to stay present from afar, even with time zones and busy schedules
The importance of outdoor, screen free time together when you do reunite
