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Hello, my name is Matthew Rees. And I feel ashamed
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about being Conan O'Brien's friend.
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Finally! An honest answer.
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Oh God, that felt good. I feel unburdened and light.
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Hey there.
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Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. I put a little.
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Pause between Conan O'Brien and Needs a Friend.
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Kind of a dramatic....
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You know what makes it really dramatic is explaining it.
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I guess I had that coming. And you're fired. Okay.
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Fair enough. Sona, Matt, how you guys doing? Good. How
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are you? I'm doing okay. Just a little bit of
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a follow-up.
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Yeah.
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The nation's gripped because recently I talked about my trip
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to the eye doctor. Sona Movsesian took me there, filling
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in for David Hopping, who went to a Midwestern wedding. Again,
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way too much backstories.
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Can I just say this is like a third installment
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in the ongoing saga of your eye.
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I say saga. I never say saga. Yeah, saga is weird.
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I've never heard saga. What the hell was that? And
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by the way, it was Bob's saga.
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Okay.
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Yeah.
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Because you guys are right, and that's probably worth stopping for,
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and you're not assholes.
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You're checking every box right now. Not assholes worth stopping for.
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I don't know why I still work here.
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No, I don't either.
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But I was going to say in the saga.
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Uh-huh.
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That it started with your eye postural leaning on the mic,
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then your visit to the optometrist to do bits where
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you stayed for hours.
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And then now there's another installment. I did so many
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great bits.
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You do so many bits.
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In that waiting room. Here's the thing. You know, I
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have prescription glasses and they needed to make them a
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little stronger, but everything's fine. Are my eyes leaking a bit?
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Sure they are. Just they're dry. What are you even
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looking at right now?
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I'm worried about your depth of focus.
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What about my mental focus? That's what you should be
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worried about because my brain is also leaking. You're saying
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it like, are my eyes leaking?
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Sure.
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Sure they are. That's not normal. Oh, please. Ocular jelly
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is oozing everywhere. No, and so it's very common for
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people with my talent. It's just too much talent. And
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this is how sometimes the eyes reject the talent. It's
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seeping out of you? Is that your talent? Yeah, the eyes,
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it's like, is there going to be room for eyes
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or talent? And I always hang on to the talent. Yeah,
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you and Iron Eyes Cody, the two great wits of
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all time. So, worked with Iron Eyes Cody, but that's
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a whole other story. Anyway, back to the main story.
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They give me the drops I'm going to use. Everything's fine.
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Me peepers are fine. It's all good. And who needs
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eye jelly anyway, I always say. So I'm about to
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leave and this woman said, hey, Conan, have you ever
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thought of contact lenses? And I said, you know, I've never,
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ever used contact lenses. My distance is fine. I just
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mean pretty much for reading. I need a little correction
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with distance, but really not much at all. And she said,
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you know, Once you get used to them, they're really
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handy and you wouldn't have to carry glasses around because
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you can forget them. And where'd they go? And did
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someone steal them? And let's put out a warrant. So
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I said, oh, well, sure. And she said, yeah, they're
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so thin now. They really work great. And she brought
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in some contacts and she said, I'll show you how
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to pop them in and pop them off. And I went, great.
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Cut to a montage that lasts about 55 minutes. not
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that I was timing it or anything, with Sona in
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the waiting room. And the woman's saying, no, no, you just,
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you just, and me holding my eyes open and trying
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to jab it in there. But I'm, you know, I've
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got fluttery eyelids that are like, and I've never liked
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people getting near my eyes. And she said, men are
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more prone to that than women. We just, and I've
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noticed it in the makeup chair forever. Whenever people get
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near my eyes, I grip the handles of the chair
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and I could crush them. I'm just so freaked out
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by people going near my eyes. I kept trying and
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kept trying and failing and saying, and I came up
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against something I just couldn't do. And I'm not used
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to that. I'm not bragging. I'm a bad athlete and
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there's a million things I can't do. But this, I
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just thought, oh, I'll be able to do this. And
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I couldn't do it. And when I was done, my eyes,
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both my eyes were so red. Did you get them in?
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I got them in and then it was time to
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get them out. That was a whole process. I, of course,
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doubled down on, I don't even know that I want contacts,
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but I am not losing this battle. So I'm not
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wearing them now because I wanted to get my eyes out.
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They said, keep your eyes on rest for a couple
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of days because it looks like I went seven rounds
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with the champ. I came out of there. You saw
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my eyes. You looked really stoned.
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Yeah.
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You did.
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You had like a glazed over look. It looked really stoned.
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Yeah.
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You were really having struggle. My eyes were so red
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and I couldn't believe this is something people do all
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the time. Have you ever worn contacts?
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That's funny you should say that because I used to
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wear contacts. I hated them. And when I went for
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the first time to try them on, the optometrist was
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trying over and over to get them in my eyes.
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And he finally put them down. He sighed and he went,
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I don't know how to say this, but you have
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abnormally strong eyelids.
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Yeah.
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What?
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You know what? That's the strength I have is eyelids
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and not like biceps. But when your wife saw you
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on the beach, she was like, gee. When I winked
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at her. You've got strong eyelids there, mister.
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But I have astigmatisms and I just can't handle them.
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They dry my eyes out. I don't like them.
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I do too. So does Conan.
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He has an astigmatism too.
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Check us out. So did you?
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We're cool.
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But Sona, you got used to it.
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And I wonder if me saying that— There's.
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A microphone right in front of you, Merrill.
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Oh, my God.
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You were doing an announcement on a cruise ship in
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a storm.
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Oh, my God.
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You were telling people to get back into their cabins.
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You asked the lady a question.
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I know, but she started to do this. I'm channeling
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my rage. Eduardo, be fair. I'm channeling my rage. Eduardo,
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be fair. You don't have to answer. You can plead
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the fifth. I'm channeling my rage.
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I'm taking deep breaths, and I'm channeling.
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It right now. Okay, go ahead. Tell your story.
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Give it to them. Don't share them.
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I wonder if me telling you that I was able
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to do it when I was 12 may have contributed
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to you getting more kind of like, well, I can
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do it too. Because I kept saying I did this
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when I was, I've been wearing contacts since I was 12.
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A girl of 12 can wear contacts and you can't
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do it.
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You know, I, first of all, I'm an ally. Of
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all women. And I empower you and I'm happy for you.
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What's that? This is awful. What did you say? Well,
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I want to say that I've worn contacts.
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Now, Billy, you can't back off the mic.
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I've worn contacts, but Eduardo has a very special contact
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situation that I think might... Is this going to prove
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helpful to Conan? Possibly.
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Maybe.
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I think you guys are all wusses.
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Yeah. I do want advice. I do want advice. And also,
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I'm telling you this. David Hopping told me that his
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mother teaches people how to put contact lenses in and out. Yes, seriously.
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And I'm going to have a Zoom with her, but
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what is your advice?
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So I wear Scolero lenses, which are the- Brag. Yeah,
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so it's a very specific type of contact lens.
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Is this a company owned by former judge Scalia? How
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did you know? No, it's for- I use Ginsbergos.
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But I have to use this.
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I hate you.
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I hate you so much.
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That was good.
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I hate you so much. Look at me. Look at me.
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I wish we could do a thing where I pull
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a string and confetti comes down on me. And I
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would do this.
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Fair is fair.
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He was wrong to assault you, but that was funny.
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That was funny.
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I have a plunger that I have to use to
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take out my.
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That's the plunger. And you're calling us wussies?
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Are they hard?
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I have to take it out with this because there are...
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rigid gas permeable lenses that I have to wear.
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That's a man.
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Also, so you have a little plunger. That's a man.
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You use a little plunger for your eyes.
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For my contacts.
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And occasionally for a mouse's toilet.
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Every now and.
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Then, Eduardo is sitting reading a paper at home, and
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he hears. What's that, little fella? Oh, really, huh? Well,
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that's embarrassing, and you have guests coming? I'll take care
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of it.
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You're welcome, buddy, anytime.
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Just wash it. Oh my God. Oh my God. Happiness everywhere. Anyway,
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I don't know. It's just one of those things I
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don't like to walk away from something. And so I'm
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going to double down on this.
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You famously have said that you'll do anything in the
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name of comedy. So I think if you think of
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it in terms of you got.
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To be funny.
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Have Liza film you.
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Bring him in and we'll do it here on the podcast. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Okay.
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I'll do it. Why don't we compete?
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We'll have some cases because you get very competitive.
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Yeah, we could compete.
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Sure.
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I'll do whatever I'm told to do.
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All right, you guys.
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Onward and sideways. My guest today won an Emmy for
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his portrayal of Russian spy Philip Jennings in the FX
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series The Americans. He now stars in the new Netflix
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series The Beast in Me. I love this fellow. Matthew Rhys, welcome.
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I'm going to come right out with it.
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Oh, God.
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I developed an insane man crush on you. The first
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time you were on the podcast, it was, I believe,
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during the pandemic.
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It was.
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And you were virtual. And I thought, I like this
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chap enormously. And I was a big fan of your work.
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Then you came in and did it in person, and
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my heart's been fluttering ever since.
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Oh, stop your giddy Irish ways.
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Keep going. I can't.
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00:11:14.919 --> 00:11:15.940
No, go on, go on.
249
00:11:15.950 --> 00:11:17.830
It's literally, oh, stop, but go on.
250
00:11:17.850 --> 00:11:18.509
Yes, always.
251
00:11:18.629 --> 00:11:19.730
So many confusing signals.
252
00:11:19.950 --> 00:11:20.549
I know.
253
00:11:20.730 --> 00:11:24.850
You are an absolute delight. You're an imp.
254
00:11:25.090 --> 00:11:25.169
Yes.
255
00:11:25.500 --> 00:11:28.820
You omitted the CH before that, didn't you?
256
00:11:29.120 --> 00:11:32.440
You are a Welsh leprechaun, if there is such a thing.
257
00:11:32.779 --> 00:11:35.070
Is there an equivalent in Wales of the leprechaun?
258
00:11:35.090 --> 00:11:39.330
We're called weprechauns. Yes. Okay, they have weapons. Weaponized leprechauns.
259
00:11:39.850 --> 00:11:42.970
So I just, I was like, oh my God, I
260
00:11:43.029 --> 00:11:44.730
want to just go hang out with this man.
261
00:11:44.990 --> 00:11:45.529
Let's do it.
262
00:11:45.710 --> 00:11:49.080
And I had, not just yet. Let's do this first.
263
00:11:49.279 --> 00:11:50.860
And then we can monetize it. And then you and
264
00:11:50.879 --> 00:11:52.600
I will hang out and we'll spend the profits.
265
00:11:53.860 --> 00:11:54.139
Okay.
266
00:11:55.080 --> 00:11:56.990
But I'm going to tell you a quick secret, which
267
00:11:57.039 --> 00:11:59.730
is that you were talking about a boat that you
268
00:11:59.769 --> 00:12:01.789
had purchased that you had fixed up yourself.
269
00:12:01.929 --> 00:12:02.190
Yes.
270
00:12:02.529 --> 00:12:06.809
And you were floating this boat around the Hudson River? Yes.
271
00:12:06.830 --> 00:12:07.570
The East River?
272
00:12:07.690 --> 00:12:09.950
The East and the Hudson and the harbor of New York.
273
00:12:10.009 --> 00:12:10.830
And you were driving it around.
274
00:12:10.850 --> 00:12:11.029
Yes.
275
00:12:11.409 --> 00:12:14.340
And so I was intrigued, so intrigued by our conversation
276
00:12:14.360 --> 00:12:16.620
that I looked up a photo of you and your boat.
277
00:12:16.679 --> 00:12:16.879
Yeah.
278
00:12:17.179 --> 00:12:19.500
And I thought, well, that's a handsome looking boat. And
279
00:12:19.519 --> 00:12:21.820
then I start doing a deep dive on the boat
280
00:12:22.279 --> 00:12:25.730
and up popped a model. a replica of that same
281
00:12:25.809 --> 00:12:28.669
type of boat popped up. And I said, I'm going
282
00:12:28.700 --> 00:12:32.580
to get that from my man crush, eat your heart out, Oliphant,
283
00:12:33.279 --> 00:12:36.000
Matthew Rhys. And so it popped up and I said,
284
00:12:36.019 --> 00:12:37.399
I'm going to get it. And then I hit on
285
00:12:37.419 --> 00:12:41.100
the screen. It's quite expensive. Oh, yes. And suddenly I
286
00:12:41.320 --> 00:12:46.000
lost my tumescence for this boat. But part of me
287
00:12:46.039 --> 00:12:47.889
is thinking, I've got to scrape up the money and
288
00:12:47.929 --> 00:12:50.269
get you this model. It's a model of the boat
289
00:12:50.289 --> 00:12:53.549
that you have. And I feel like Adam, we have
290
00:12:53.590 --> 00:12:55.509
to scrape up the funds to make this happen. He's
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00:12:55.549 --> 00:12:58.470
giving the thumbs up, and you'll pay for it. I'm
292
00:12:58.529 --> 00:13:00.590
asking him, there's no microphone on him. You'll pay for it,
293
00:13:00.590 --> 00:13:02.909
and that's a nod, yes. Good. I'll get this for you.
294
00:13:03.250 --> 00:13:05.960
No, no, surely we can start some kind of Kickstarter now.
295
00:13:07.279 --> 00:13:09.220
A GoFundMe that begins right now.
296
00:13:09.279 --> 00:13:10.000
Can I tell you something?
297
00:13:10.059 --> 00:13:10.259
Yes.
298
00:13:10.279 --> 00:13:14.559
People love it. When celebrities start a Kickstarter for a
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00:13:14.639 --> 00:13:16.820
childish amusement that they will keep for themselves.
300
00:13:17.000 --> 00:13:19.799
Yes, especially men, because they will relate to it. They said,
301
00:13:19.840 --> 00:13:23.159
he needs that model. It's the model we've all deserved.
302
00:13:24.159 --> 00:13:26.480
It checks a box within our emotional hearts.
303
00:13:27.080 --> 00:13:28.899
I want to connect with you, and I'm going to
304
00:13:28.940 --> 00:13:33.350
start by saying, I adore your work, but Wales. Let's
305
00:13:33.389 --> 00:13:37.629
start with Wales, because that's the secret to cracking this gentleman, Wales.
306
00:13:38.129 --> 00:13:39.470
You are Welsh through and through.
307
00:13:39.570 --> 00:13:39.769
I am.
308
00:13:40.240 --> 00:13:44.240
And there's so much that I don't know about whales.
309
00:13:44.259 --> 00:13:44.519
Yes.
310
00:13:44.759 --> 00:13:48.149
I really don't because it's a mystery to me. I
311
00:13:48.210 --> 00:13:51.490
know that you don't use any vowels when you write something.
312
00:13:51.509 --> 00:13:53.149
They were outlawed by the English in 1282.
313
00:13:53.149 --> 00:13:54.610
They stole your vowels.
314
00:13:54.690 --> 00:13:54.769
Yes.
315
00:13:54.789 --> 00:13:56.259
Take their vowels. That'll learn them.
316
00:13:57.220 --> 00:13:57.500
Yes.
317
00:13:57.519 --> 00:13:59.600
They'll drown in their own spit.
318
00:14:00.159 --> 00:14:03.649
Absolutely. I know that it's very important to you and
319
00:14:03.730 --> 00:14:06.250
the Welsh language is very important to you.
320
00:14:06.450 --> 00:14:06.710
It is.
321
00:14:07.029 --> 00:14:09.710
Now, I did a travel show recently and I went
322
00:14:09.870 --> 00:14:14.590
to Ireland and I appeared on a show where they only,
323
00:14:15.289 --> 00:14:18.549
it's a soap opera where they only speak Irish. Yes.
324
00:14:18.860 --> 00:14:21.500
And all my lines were in Irish. It was very difficult.
325
00:14:21.559 --> 00:14:21.860
Yes.
326
00:14:22.419 --> 00:14:25.330
Is the Welsh language more difficult? Then Irish, is it
327
00:14:25.450 --> 00:14:27.129
similar at all? Help me.
328
00:14:27.490 --> 00:14:31.149
I would say it's akin in many ways in its
329
00:14:31.850 --> 00:14:36.450
difficulty level as to learning. Ironically, for two Celtic languages,
330
00:14:36.490 --> 00:14:42.250
they're very different. Welsh is far more similar to Breton
331
00:14:42.669 --> 00:14:44.929
in northern France and Manx in the Isle of Man.
332
00:14:45.620 --> 00:14:47.940
If you see those languages, Cornish as well, you can
333
00:14:48.000 --> 00:14:49.779
see the similarities with the Scots and the Irish.
334
00:14:50.340 --> 00:14:51.860
They share that similarity.
335
00:14:51.879 --> 00:14:55.529
But with regards to kind of hard, guttural sounds, I
336
00:14:55.570 --> 00:14:57.289
think we're right there with the Irish.
337
00:14:57.330 --> 00:14:59.929
Yes, it sounds like someone has thrown silverware down some
338
00:14:59.990 --> 00:15:01.730
stone steps when you guys speak.
339
00:15:01.750 --> 00:15:02.330
It's just.
340
00:15:04.889 --> 00:15:06.230
I'll be taking that one home.
341
00:15:06.309 --> 00:15:07.429
Yeah, that's yours.
342
00:15:07.450 --> 00:15:07.789
Thank you.
343
00:15:07.809 --> 00:15:11.500
And I'll get you the model. And this, it is
344
00:15:11.529 --> 00:15:15.919
important to you that Welsh is spoken in your home occasionally,
345
00:15:15.960 --> 00:15:18.620
is that right? You're trying to teach it to some
346
00:15:18.639 --> 00:15:19.100
of the children?
347
00:15:19.179 --> 00:15:21.940
I am, I am, with varying degrees of success.
348
00:15:22.019 --> 00:15:24.960
But, you know, Kerry and I have a nine-year-old son
349
00:15:24.980 --> 00:15:27.860
and I spoke to him purely in Welsh from the
350
00:15:27.899 --> 00:15:30.120
moment he was born and continue to do so.
351
00:15:30.440 --> 00:15:31.620
Really? How's he doing at school?
352
00:15:32.039 --> 00:15:32.860
Not very well.
353
00:15:33.340 --> 00:15:37.700
Not very well. Yes, his friends bring umbrellas and raincoats.
354
00:15:38.220 --> 00:15:40.860
He's been held back 15 times. Yes, which is hard
355
00:15:40.879 --> 00:15:43.480
to do for a nine-year-old. It is, but he's managed it.
356
00:15:44.240 --> 00:15:48.759
He's now at the point, and it kind of kills
357
00:15:48.799 --> 00:15:52.379
me a bit, but obviously as conversations become more involved
358
00:15:52.399 --> 00:15:57.309
and more complicated, and I realize if you haven't introduced
359
00:15:57.769 --> 00:15:59.570
more complex Welsh words.
360
00:16:00.409 --> 00:16:00.970
early on.
361
00:16:01.230 --> 00:16:03.730
Now, you know, when I speak to him and I
362
00:16:03.789 --> 00:16:06.409
bring in a complex Welsh word, he'll just say, oh,
363
00:16:06.450 --> 00:16:07.070
just say it.
364
00:16:07.049 --> 00:16:07.789
In mama's language.
365
00:16:08.129 --> 00:16:08.409
Yes.
366
00:16:08.590 --> 00:16:09.980
And I go, oh, rats.
367
00:16:10.139 --> 00:16:13.320
So I feel the beginnings of starting to lose him,
368
00:16:13.340 --> 00:16:16.080
which sort of breaks my heart. But not lose him.
369
00:16:16.120 --> 00:16:17.779
Lose him maybe for now. I know it'll peak and
370
00:16:17.799 --> 00:16:20.480
trough and ebb and flow, my hope is. Well, that's
371
00:16:20.500 --> 00:16:22.090
what I'm threatening him with, you know.
372
00:16:22.259 --> 00:16:24.149
As long as you're threatening your child, good things will come.
373
00:16:24.309 --> 00:16:25.029
That's what I've said.
374
00:16:25.330 --> 00:16:28.610
I've monetized it and I've threatened college with it and
375
00:16:28.669 --> 00:16:31.649
all kinds of toys in between. Christmas can be canceled
376
00:16:31.690 --> 00:16:33.669
at the cancellation of Welsh.
377
00:16:33.929 --> 00:16:36.909
And I'm curious, first of all, oh, you mentioned Christmas.
378
00:16:37.970 --> 00:16:43.750
Christmas in Wales, one of the great poems of all time.
379
00:16:43.850 --> 00:16:47.389
And so occasionally I fantasize about what would it be
380
00:16:47.500 --> 00:16:51.039
like to have Christmas in Wales? Is it as romantic
381
00:16:51.100 --> 00:16:53.720
as I think it is or is, no, the reality
382
00:16:53.879 --> 00:16:56.139
is everyone just goes to Walmart and gets a Christmas
383
00:16:56.179 --> 00:16:57.139
tree like we do here?
384
00:16:57.299 --> 00:16:57.960
Yes, of course.
385
00:16:58.120 --> 00:17:02.830
And, you know, you know, excessive drinking and kind of shouting, mainly.
386
00:17:02.850 --> 00:17:05.079
And then no one can remember what happened on Christmas Day.
387
00:17:05.089 --> 00:17:07.150
Is it true that your Santa is a terrible alcoholic?
388
00:17:07.190 --> 00:17:07.710
Yeah, well, it is.
389
00:17:07.730 --> 00:17:10.359
A raging one. A raging one. But it makes for
390
00:17:10.420 --> 00:17:11.859
great frivolity on the rooftops.
391
00:17:12.200 --> 00:17:12.519
Yes.
392
00:17:13.680 --> 00:17:16.079
But apparently there's only one Welsh Santa because all the
393
00:17:16.099 --> 00:17:18.019
other Santas refuse to do Wales because.
394
00:17:18.039 --> 00:17:19.940
You know, it was... They won't go there. No, they
395
00:17:19.960 --> 00:17:21.619
were like, give it to that drunken fool.
396
00:17:21.920 --> 00:17:22.980
Yes, that imp.
397
00:17:23.019 --> 00:17:24.200
Yeah, it doesn't even have.
398
00:17:24.420 --> 00:17:27.049
He lost his naughty and nice list a long time ago.
399
00:17:27.069 --> 00:17:30.019
He doesn't know... You, you scoundrel, you'll get nothing.
400
00:17:30.039 --> 00:17:31.059
I was quite good.
401
00:17:31.440 --> 00:17:32.240
I was quite good.
402
00:17:32.339 --> 00:17:34.640
Only the irony is if you're given coal in Wales,
403
00:17:35.039 --> 00:17:39.500
kids are overjoyed. They're like, oh, look what I got.
404
00:17:39.519 --> 00:17:41.200
Shut that up, you assholes, England.
405
00:17:41.460 --> 00:17:41.700
Yes.
406
00:17:42.200 --> 00:17:44.529
We'll have a warm Christmas after all. Yes, aha, let's
407
00:17:44.549 --> 00:17:47.569
cook on this. You know, it's so funny. My first
408
00:17:47.730 --> 00:17:53.150
introduction to you really was your role in the spectacular
409
00:17:53.190 --> 00:17:54.869
TV show, The Americans.
410
00:17:54.890 --> 00:17:55.549
Yes.
411
00:17:56.279 --> 00:17:59.569
When I first spoke to you on the podcast, it
412
00:17:59.609 --> 00:18:03.029
was unsettling because, I mean, the sense I get is
413
00:18:03.130 --> 00:18:06.289
that anyone in Britain or the United Kingdom is much
414
00:18:06.349 --> 00:18:09.430
better at doing an American accent than, of course, than
415
00:18:09.490 --> 00:18:13.579
we are at doing anything similar to your accent.
416
00:18:13.720 --> 00:18:15.700
Well, it is an accent.
417
00:18:15.720 --> 00:18:16.460
It's a terrible accent.
418
00:18:16.480 --> 00:18:18.380
Believe me, by the grace of God, go I. But
419
00:18:18.680 --> 00:18:22.579
a happy accent, I will gladly admit to. But I do,
420
00:18:22.640 --> 00:18:24.660
and I know if I said this last time, I
421
00:18:25.329 --> 00:18:27.940
do believe that the amount of American television we grew
422
00:18:28.000 --> 00:18:31.009
up watching and as young kids going out into the
423
00:18:31.029 --> 00:18:33.980
yard to play Starsky and Hutch or The A-Team or
424
00:18:34.059 --> 00:18:36.599
Airwolf or any of those, you know, as kids growing up. Whereas,
425
00:18:37.009 --> 00:18:39.150
Kids in America don't go out to the schoolyard to
426
00:18:39.170 --> 00:18:41.309
play Downton Abbey, which is seemingly the only thing.
427
00:18:41.509 --> 00:18:43.690
I did. Well, yes, of course. I was taunted and beaten.
428
00:18:43.710 --> 00:18:45.349
You were like, fetch me another pheasant, boy.
429
00:18:45.450 --> 00:18:46.670
Yes.
430
00:18:48.380 --> 00:18:51.660
I used to always want to play Scrooge, you know. Yes, yes. You, boy,
431
00:18:51.720 --> 00:18:54.720
fetch me the goose in the window. I must have it.
432
00:18:54.759 --> 00:18:56.680
Yes. I'm not playing Tiny Tim again.
433
00:18:58.690 --> 00:19:01.440
Yeah, I was beaten roundly by everyone in my neighborhood.
434
00:19:01.720 --> 00:19:04.400
But I found this over the years that when I
435
00:19:04.420 --> 00:19:08.119
would talk to anyone who was from England, Scotland, Wales,
436
00:19:08.779 --> 00:19:11.680
they just have such a great storytelling custom that it
437
00:19:11.700 --> 00:19:12.970
was always a fun interview.
438
00:19:13.069 --> 00:19:13.609
Yeah, yes.
439
00:19:13.710 --> 00:19:18.829
Well, I think the Celts do, we viciously and proudly say,
440
00:19:20.069 --> 00:19:23.230
the oral storytelling tradition handed down from the mists of
441
00:19:23.279 --> 00:19:25.619
time is still you know, is now the modern day
442
00:19:25.660 --> 00:19:29.599
pub raconteur. And that's who we've remained to be. I
443
00:19:30.099 --> 00:19:32.140
just want to go back. You know, Dylan Thomas sold
444
00:19:32.180 --> 00:19:34.529
the rights to A Child's Christmas in Wales to an
445
00:19:34.609 --> 00:19:37.869
inordinate amount of people as he was rampaging around New York.
446
00:19:38.309 --> 00:19:40.789
He was just saying, I have this wonderful little story.
447
00:19:40.869 --> 00:19:42.549
I should like to sell you the rights. And they
448
00:19:42.569 --> 00:19:43.109
were like, oh, great.
449
00:19:43.130 --> 00:19:43.289
Yes.
450
00:19:43.529 --> 00:19:46.789
Harper's Bazaar bought it. Everyone bought the rights He sold
451
00:19:46.829 --> 00:19:49.170
it like 800 times. 800 times, which I thought was
452
00:19:49.210 --> 00:19:51.990
one of the greatest grifts of all time. In the
453
00:19:52.039 --> 00:19:55.539
time of kind of pre-computer madness.
454
00:19:55.559 --> 00:19:59.740
And famously, he passed in a pub, I think.
455
00:19:59.759 --> 00:20:00.319
He collapsed.
456
00:20:00.380 --> 00:20:00.859
Downtown.
457
00:20:00.880 --> 00:20:03.319
He collapsed downtown right here, outside the White Horse.
458
00:20:03.359 --> 00:20:04.039
Yes, the White Horse.
459
00:20:04.099 --> 00:20:05.380
And then passed at St. Vincent's.
460
00:20:05.420 --> 00:20:05.539
Yeah.
461
00:20:05.559 --> 00:20:09.400
Yeah. And I don't know if the White Horse celebrates that.
462
00:20:11.259 --> 00:20:15.500
A famous poet died or got sick here and died.
463
00:20:16.160 --> 00:20:18.210
Not many restaurants or pubs want that known.
464
00:20:18.269 --> 00:20:19.160
No, all can say it.
465
00:20:19.190 --> 00:20:22.990
He's also on the mural at, it's not Minetta Tavern,
466
00:20:23.190 --> 00:20:25.430
it's the Waverley Inn. He's on the wall there as well.
467
00:20:25.450 --> 00:20:29.069
But he's heavily... He's still heavily pictured at the White Horse.
468
00:20:29.130 --> 00:20:31.210
It's worth a quiet pint of Guinness on that.
469
00:20:31.230 --> 00:20:32.480
They made a lot of money off of him, I suppose.
470
00:20:32.519 --> 00:20:33.000
They did.
471
00:20:33.099 --> 00:20:34.819
Yeah, there's still a lot of Welsh tourists who pay
472
00:20:34.839 --> 00:20:37.819
the pilgrimage, who make the homage and the pilgrimage there.
473
00:20:38.160 --> 00:20:41.500
When you belly up to a bar, what is your lager?
474
00:20:41.519 --> 00:20:42.900
What is your pint? What do you like to have?
475
00:20:42.960 --> 00:20:44.980
Now, that depends exactly on the time of day and
476
00:20:45.339 --> 00:20:47.059
the time of year.
477
00:20:47.059 --> 00:20:50.470
3.30 October, late October. It's 3.30 in the afternoon.
478
00:20:50.529 --> 00:20:50.789
Guinness.
479
00:20:50.849 --> 00:20:51.589
It's a light rain.
480
00:20:51.730 --> 00:20:52.049
Guinness?
481
00:20:52.069 --> 00:20:52.990
Guinness. Incredible.
482
00:20:53.150 --> 00:20:54.930
I love a Guinness. Yes. I love a Guinness.
483
00:20:55.069 --> 00:20:56.309
How much did you get through an island?
484
00:20:56.990 --> 00:20:58.509
Um, I did pretty well.
485
00:20:58.589 --> 00:20:59.349
Yeah.
486
00:20:59.369 --> 00:21:01.890
I love a Guinness and it does taste better in Ireland.
487
00:21:01.970 --> 00:21:02.420
I totally agree.
488
00:21:02.460 --> 00:21:03.019
I will say that.
489
00:21:03.220 --> 00:21:03.839
I totally agree.
490
00:21:14.799 --> 00:21:18.559
Good nights are about the people, the laughs, the real
491
00:21:18.599 --> 00:21:19.720
moments you don't want to miss.
492
00:21:20.200 --> 00:21:21.779
So why step outside?
493
00:21:22.680 --> 00:21:26.720
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510
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511
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Subject to availability. Participation varies.
512
00:22:37.809 --> 00:22:40.150
We're just talking about all things Welsh. I've taken it
513
00:22:40.190 --> 00:22:43.650
upon myself to do probably the Welshest of all Welsh things.
514
00:22:44.390 --> 00:22:46.930
And I'm going to do a one-man play about Richard Burton.
515
00:22:47.049 --> 00:22:48.289
Yes, I know about this.
516
00:22:48.309 --> 00:22:48.750
Oh, you do?
517
00:22:48.950 --> 00:22:50.849
Yes, I do know about this. This is your going
518
00:22:50.869 --> 00:22:54.819
to play. And this is your return to the Welsh stage.
519
00:22:55.359 --> 00:22:56.980
For the first time in how many years? 22.
520
00:22:56.980 --> 00:22:58.349
22 years.
521
00:22:58.380 --> 00:23:01.750
Yeah, yeah. That's got to be a little terrifying.
522
00:23:01.910 --> 00:23:03.890
Now at this point, sorry, I was trying to link
523
00:23:03.930 --> 00:23:06.569
it to the fact about the oral storytelling tradition, but
524
00:23:06.769 --> 00:23:07.430
I wasn't a complete.
525
00:23:07.450 --> 00:23:09.450
And then get us back to Guinness, please.
526
00:23:09.470 --> 00:23:12.619
Well, Burton's the... An easy link back to Guinness.
527
00:23:12.700 --> 00:23:15.559
How are you going to get from Richard Burton to alcohol?
528
00:23:15.680 --> 00:23:16.480
I don't know.
529
00:23:17.059 --> 00:23:18.680
Just give me a moment. He had a friend called
530
00:23:18.700 --> 00:23:22.180
Richard Harris. Yes. You can come back in a week. Yes.
531
00:23:22.279 --> 00:23:22.920
I've cracked it.
532
00:23:23.240 --> 00:23:23.480
Yes.
533
00:23:23.740 --> 00:23:26.819
So, yes, you're going back to the Welsh stage where
534
00:23:26.839 --> 00:23:27.980
you got your start.
535
00:23:28.079 --> 00:23:28.440
You did.
536
00:23:28.740 --> 00:23:29.859
When you were but a wee lad.
537
00:23:29.880 --> 00:23:29.950
Yes.
538
00:23:29.960 --> 00:23:31.519
You're going to go back for the first time in
539
00:23:31.519 --> 00:23:34.029
22 years. What is your greatest fear that they just
540
00:23:34.109 --> 00:23:34.680
stare at you?
541
00:23:34.960 --> 00:23:35.569
There is that.
542
00:23:35.690 --> 00:23:38.950
Well, there's a number of things. I was fortunate to play...
543
00:23:39.289 --> 00:23:41.269
Dylan Thomas once in a film. And I realized when
544
00:23:41.289 --> 00:23:44.450
you go, especially to a place like Wales, where we
545
00:23:44.509 --> 00:23:48.630
have a few but select but incredible icons, Dylan Thomas,
546
00:23:48.690 --> 00:23:51.920
Richard Burton, Shirley Bassey, Sian Phillips, Rachel Roberts, we have
547
00:23:51.960 --> 00:23:57.420
these incredible performers, actors, singers, everything. But the nation itself
548
00:23:57.460 --> 00:24:02.200
has an incredibly personal relationship, an individual personal relationship with
549
00:24:02.269 --> 00:24:07.130
that icon. So your take on Dylan Thomas is wildly
550
00:24:07.170 --> 00:24:08.369
different from what everyone else.
551
00:24:08.980 --> 00:24:10.660
deems it to be. So a lot of people are like,
552
00:24:11.109 --> 00:24:13.009
I saw you, Dylan Thomas. I don't think you got
553
00:24:13.049 --> 00:24:13.849
it right.
554
00:24:13.910 --> 00:24:14.509
That's right.
555
00:24:14.549 --> 00:24:14.950
Yeah.
556
00:24:15.029 --> 00:24:17.369
And that could be someone driving a bus.
557
00:24:17.710 --> 00:24:19.349
Or my father in this case.
558
00:24:19.369 --> 00:24:21.589
Yes. That's all dad.
559
00:24:21.630 --> 00:24:21.849
Yes.
560
00:24:21.950 --> 00:24:22.970
But he does drive a bus.
561
00:24:23.430 --> 00:24:23.750
Yes.
562
00:24:23.789 --> 00:24:25.650
Which is ironic.
563
00:24:25.809 --> 00:24:29.930
So one of my great fears is that one, I
564
00:24:29.950 --> 00:24:33.349
have this thing where I think all the people who
565
00:24:33.410 --> 00:24:35.869
bought tickets are going to go, who does he think
566
00:24:35.910 --> 00:24:38.589
he is that he can play Richard Burton? Now that
567
00:24:38.690 --> 00:24:40.730
is a great, I would say Welsh, I would go
568
00:24:40.769 --> 00:24:43.289
as far as to say Celtic affliction as to who
569
00:24:43.309 --> 00:24:44.329
do you think you are syndrome.
570
00:24:44.390 --> 00:24:45.130
Oh my God, yes.
571
00:24:45.230 --> 00:24:47.529
I mean, if that was an Olympic sport, we would
572
00:24:47.609 --> 00:24:48.970
podium every time.
573
00:24:49.599 --> 00:24:50.470
So there is that.
574
00:24:50.970 --> 00:24:53.140
Then there is the secondary version or level to that
575
00:24:53.180 --> 00:24:54.890
which you go, when you do it, they go, Well,
576
00:24:54.910 --> 00:24:55.829
that wasn't Richard Burton.
577
00:24:56.089 --> 00:24:58.170
That wasn't Richard Burton at all. And also.
578
00:24:58.269 --> 00:25:00.710
I knew Richard Burton. Yes. We were in school together.
579
00:25:00.819 --> 00:25:01.099
Yes.
580
00:25:01.200 --> 00:25:03.859
That's the problem is you're rubbing shoulders with people. You're
581
00:25:03.880 --> 00:25:08.720
performing for people who have a personal, very strong connection
582
00:25:08.759 --> 00:25:08.980
with this.
583
00:25:09.059 --> 00:25:10.539
This is what I've done to myself.
584
00:25:10.829 --> 00:25:14.329
The final performance of the tour is in the chapel
585
00:25:14.670 --> 00:25:17.950
that Richard Burton attended. It'll be live streamed to the
586
00:25:18.009 --> 00:25:20.750
Miner's Arms, which is the pub that he and his
587
00:25:20.769 --> 00:25:23.509
family drank in. And his family have been invited to
588
00:25:23.549 --> 00:25:24.970
the chapel to watch the final performance.
589
00:25:24.990 --> 00:25:25.490
Oh, my God.
590
00:25:25.589 --> 00:25:27.170
I think they've made it the final performance, so I
591
00:25:27.210 --> 00:25:30.190
can literally fall on my sword at the curtain call
592
00:25:30.529 --> 00:25:31.470
with an apology.
593
00:25:31.490 --> 00:25:33.210
I say, sorry, Jenkins.
594
00:25:34.019 --> 00:25:34.339
Yes.
595
00:25:35.579 --> 00:25:36.299
You know, Harry.
596
00:25:36.319 --> 00:25:36.940
Do you know Harry?
597
00:25:36.960 --> 00:25:38.019
Harry Carey is about time.
598
00:25:38.319 --> 00:25:38.599
Yes.
599
00:25:38.720 --> 00:25:41.279
So you are going to get, yeah, I mean, that's
600
00:25:41.319 --> 00:25:43.779
your fear. My money's on you. I'll say that.
601
00:25:43.819 --> 00:25:44.519
Thank you very much.
602
00:25:44.539 --> 00:25:46.980
You are, I think, one of the finest actors alive.
603
00:25:47.160 --> 00:25:49.940
And I think that you will carry it off gloriously.
604
00:25:50.930 --> 00:25:56.420
But I also fear for you terribly. Well, I'm very
605
00:25:56.440 --> 00:26:00.619
excited about another matter involving you, Mr. Reese, if I
606
00:26:00.619 --> 00:26:01.220
can call you Mr.
607
00:26:01.259 --> 00:26:01.480
Reese.
608
00:26:02.099 --> 00:26:02.339
Mrs.
609
00:26:02.460 --> 00:26:03.359
Reese doesn't seem right.
610
00:26:04.319 --> 00:26:04.880
Mysteries.
611
00:26:06.660 --> 00:26:09.109
Histories, mysteries. Oh, that's good. That should be your podcast
612
00:26:09.150 --> 00:26:12.390
where you talk about history that's not true. I am
613
00:26:12.430 --> 00:26:15.930
a massive fan of the historian Mr. Robert Caro. I've
614
00:26:15.970 --> 00:26:18.809
read all of his works. I've interviewed him. I stalked
615
00:26:18.849 --> 00:26:22.710
him for a while. I think he's just a treasure,
616
00:26:22.750 --> 00:26:26.170
as they say, national treasure. And one of his great books,
617
00:26:27.029 --> 00:26:30.240
maybe one of his greatest books, if it's not the
618
00:26:30.279 --> 00:26:34.140
Lyndon Johnson series, The Power Broker about Robert Moses is
619
00:26:34.420 --> 00:26:39.220
one of the most amazing historical works in history. I
620
00:26:39.259 --> 00:26:43.059
understand that you may be working on some kind of
621
00:26:43.079 --> 00:26:44.980
version of the power broker.
622
00:26:45.400 --> 00:26:46.960
We are working on.
623
00:26:47.019 --> 00:26:47.579
Who is we?
624
00:26:49.680 --> 00:26:51.039
Well.
625
00:26:51.059 --> 00:26:52.960
Maybe you're not allowed to talk about this yet. I
626
00:26:52.980 --> 00:26:54.220
don't want to get you in... I mean, I do
627
00:26:54.269 --> 00:26:55.930
want to get you in trouble, but not for this.
628
00:26:55.950 --> 00:27:00.930
But remember last time, yes, you very kindly bailed me out. Yes, there's... What.
629
00:27:00.769 --> 00:27:02.309
Can you say? Why don't you just say what you
630
00:27:02.349 --> 00:27:02.609
can say?
631
00:27:02.630 --> 00:27:05.789
There is a select group of us who have... approach
632
00:27:05.829 --> 00:27:09.029
to a very well-known streaming platform.
633
00:27:09.329 --> 00:27:12.599
There are a few of us known criminals who are conspiring.
634
00:27:13.420 --> 00:27:17.079
But at the moment, dear Mr.
635
00:27:17.119 --> 00:27:21.140
Caro, he doesn't have an issue with handing over the
636
00:27:21.180 --> 00:27:24.839
rights to the power broker. Other agencies and publishing houses do.
637
00:27:25.420 --> 00:27:29.319
So at the moment, it's in this stalemate whereby I
638
00:27:29.329 --> 00:27:33.609
know The flicks called net are trying to work things out.
639
00:27:33.690 --> 00:27:34.109
Yes.
640
00:27:34.309 --> 00:27:37.089
And acquire the rights to the power broker. It's been pitched.
641
00:27:37.250 --> 00:27:38.109
They do want to do it.
642
00:27:38.390 --> 00:27:41.410
Is it possible then that you would play Robert Moses,
643
00:27:41.490 --> 00:27:46.210
the man who more than anyone created the New York
644
00:27:46.250 --> 00:27:47.269
City that we know today?
645
00:27:47.410 --> 00:27:47.670
Yes.
646
00:27:47.809 --> 00:27:50.430
That's basically the fundamental pitch.
647
00:27:50.630 --> 00:27:53.109
Okay. I have no sway in this business at all.
648
00:27:53.190 --> 00:27:54.789
I have a little bit of sway with Robert Caro.
649
00:27:55.420 --> 00:27:58.440
just because I think he knows me. I've interviewed him.
650
00:27:58.440 --> 00:28:00.670
He knows I'm a huge fan and an acolyte of his.
651
00:28:01.170 --> 00:28:03.190
But I would do everything in my power to make
652
00:28:03.230 --> 00:28:06.529
sure that you play. I think you'd be amazing. And
653
00:28:06.549 --> 00:28:08.789
I think that would be just a terrific project.
654
00:28:08.930 --> 00:28:12.009
I certainly think it's a story and a book that
655
00:28:12.329 --> 00:28:15.559
needs to get made because the sheer scale and scope
656
00:28:15.619 --> 00:28:19.119
of it. But also, Moses as a human being, as
657
00:28:19.140 --> 00:28:23.079
an individual, if you read that play, book, is stunning.
658
00:28:23.650 --> 00:28:24.289
Staggering.
659
00:28:25.430 --> 00:28:28.869
It lays Shakespeare to the sword because you cannot quite
660
00:28:28.990 --> 00:28:30.779
believe the ascent of that man.
661
00:28:31.039 --> 00:28:36.099
And that man had more power than maybe anyone in
662
00:28:36.640 --> 00:28:40.279
American history, say the president, but he was able to,
663
00:28:40.759 --> 00:28:44.220
it's unimaginable now, but he could just say, I think
664
00:28:44.279 --> 00:28:47.470
this highway should go here. And all of these buildings
665
00:28:47.589 --> 00:28:49.029
in my way shall be destroyed.
666
00:28:49.269 --> 00:28:50.390
And these communities removed.
667
00:28:50.509 --> 00:28:53.309
And these communities removed. And it would happen as if
668
00:28:53.390 --> 00:28:54.210
he were a czar.
669
00:28:54.269 --> 00:28:54.549
Yes.
670
00:28:54.890 --> 00:28:58.059
And it was the way he understood power. And that's
671
00:28:58.140 --> 00:29:03.299
a real Caro's obsession is how people accumulate power and
672
00:29:03.339 --> 00:29:05.450
how they use it and who are the masters at that. And,
673
00:29:05.460 --> 00:29:08.009
of course, the other one is Lyndon Johnson. And it's
674
00:29:08.109 --> 00:29:10.329
just this thing that he writes about so well and
675
00:29:10.349 --> 00:29:11.569
he understands so well.
676
00:29:11.809 --> 00:29:13.630
That beautifully, beautifully put.
677
00:29:13.809 --> 00:29:14.609
I'm very talented.
678
00:29:14.650 --> 00:29:16.829
You are, but it's the understanding of power.
679
00:29:16.890 --> 00:29:18.910
I might be the Robert Moses of comedy.
680
00:29:19.490 --> 00:29:19.630
Ooh.
681
00:29:19.849 --> 00:29:23.940
Yeah. I have laid waste to so many communities. When
682
00:29:23.960 --> 00:29:25.859
I have a joke I want to do, I destroy
683
00:29:25.920 --> 00:29:29.039
communities and my whole tenements and buildings come down. In
684
00:29:29.099 --> 00:29:32.579
your wake, yes. And then it's just a quick wordplay pun.
685
00:29:33.579 --> 00:29:37.589
but people have lost their buildings. Yes. I hope this happens.
686
00:29:37.630 --> 00:29:38.150
So do I.
687
00:29:38.309 --> 00:29:42.470
And I will pray on that tonight. When I kneel
688
00:29:42.549 --> 00:29:44.970
and I say my prayers, it's all about my career.
689
00:29:45.059 --> 00:29:45.450
Of course.
690
00:29:45.490 --> 00:29:46.279
Nothing about the family.
691
00:29:46.299 --> 00:29:49.519
No, think of the commission. Yes.
692
00:29:49.839 --> 00:29:51.059
I would love that. I would love that to happen.
693
00:29:51.079 --> 00:29:52.599
So would I. So would I. I'll make it happen.
694
00:29:52.660 --> 00:29:54.160
Okay, good. You heard it here first.
695
00:29:54.259 --> 00:29:57.099
Yes. And you'll hear it here last. Now, I want
696
00:29:57.140 --> 00:29:59.240
to bring up one more Celtic thing, which is you
697
00:29:59.279 --> 00:30:02.319
have claimed that you have, and that you have profited
698
00:30:02.339 --> 00:30:06.269
from in your career, Celtic eyes. Oh, yes, yes. Tell
699
00:30:06.289 --> 00:30:09.029
me what are Celtic eyes, what they are, and then
700
00:30:09.930 --> 00:30:11.509
I'll ask you my follow-up question.
701
00:30:11.549 --> 00:30:13.769
Well, actually, what I was going to say was an accusation,
702
00:30:13.809 --> 00:30:15.190
but it was more of an inquiry.
703
00:30:15.410 --> 00:30:16.710
You're not to accuse me of anything.
704
00:30:16.890 --> 00:30:18.349
No, I have a number of things I'd like to
705
00:30:18.390 --> 00:30:19.809
accuse you of, but we'll wait until we stop rolling
706
00:30:19.890 --> 00:30:20.390
for that.
707
00:30:20.410 --> 00:30:20.539
Yes.
708
00:30:22.170 --> 00:30:24.269
I sat down at a dinner party in Los Angeles
709
00:30:24.349 --> 00:30:28.519
once and a very, very dashing, older kind of silver
710
00:30:28.559 --> 00:30:29.920
fox gentleman turned to me and he.
711
00:30:29.859 --> 00:30:34.099
Just went, Irish. I went, no. Scottish. I went, no. Well,
712
00:30:34.119 --> 00:30:34.720
then what are you?
713
00:30:35.220 --> 00:30:35.759
I said, Welsh.
714
00:30:35.900 --> 00:30:38.200
Oh, of course, the other Celt. And I said, I'm sorry,
715
00:30:38.240 --> 00:30:39.000
what made you say that?
716
00:30:39.039 --> 00:30:41.500
He goes, Celtic lids. You've got Celtic lids. He goes,
717
00:30:41.539 --> 00:30:43.480
I could really help you out. He was a plastic surgeon.
718
00:30:43.940 --> 00:30:46.359
And what he was inferring was is this sort of
719
00:30:46.440 --> 00:30:48.980
slight droop on the top of our eyes, which is,
720
00:30:49.200 --> 00:30:52.180
I think, you know, centuries being downtrodden makes you go, oh,
721
00:30:52.220 --> 00:30:52.839
I'm so sorry.
722
00:30:53.299 --> 00:30:54.859
You know, genetically.
723
00:30:54.940 --> 00:30:58.059
And the coal dust. That does it too. It's everything, yeah.
724
00:30:58.380 --> 00:31:01.960
It's having, it's both emotional and practical that you keep
725
00:31:02.029 --> 00:31:04.670
dust out of your eyes, but also you take your place,
726
00:31:04.890 --> 00:31:06.329
you know, in society.
727
00:31:06.450 --> 00:31:06.589
Yes.
728
00:31:06.609 --> 00:31:08.930
And apologize for being there, more importantly.
729
00:31:09.609 --> 00:31:12.250
Someone was going to try and fix your, you say lids,
730
00:31:12.329 --> 00:31:17.650
I call them peepers. Jeepers, creepers, what's inside those peepers? Exactly.
731
00:31:17.690 --> 00:31:17.869
Yes.
732
00:31:18.950 --> 00:31:19.990
One of my favorite poems also.
733
00:31:21.250 --> 00:31:22.029
From Dylan Thomas.
734
00:31:22.269 --> 00:31:24.490
Dylan Thomas, he did a lot of great stuff.
735
00:31:24.529 --> 00:31:25.529
He does, he did.
736
00:31:25.569 --> 00:31:27.009
Purple polka dot bikini was his.
737
00:31:27.109 --> 00:31:29.029
Yes, where the sidewalk ends, yes.
738
00:31:29.470 --> 00:31:33.710
So I'm fascinated that anyone would try and touch those,
739
00:31:33.730 --> 00:31:36.109
because those are great. I would think they've been so
740
00:31:36.269 --> 00:31:37.150
useful to you in acting.
741
00:31:37.289 --> 00:31:40.309
Well, there's another moment when the Americans was finishing acting,
742
00:31:40.809 --> 00:31:42.289
I believe it was the New Yorker that wrote a
743
00:31:42.289 --> 00:31:44.490
very nice article saying that I was like, what is
744
00:31:44.539 --> 00:31:44.880
it called?
745
00:31:45.170 --> 00:31:46.759
The king of downtrodden tragedy.
746
00:31:46.880 --> 00:31:48.599
And there was a photo of me and I looked
747
00:31:48.640 --> 00:31:51.019
at the photo and I went, that's my resting face.
748
00:31:52.269 --> 00:31:55.509
I'm not acting. I'm not doing anything.
749
00:31:55.869 --> 00:31:57.970
That is what my face looks like.
750
00:31:58.569 --> 00:32:01.869
You can project whatever it is you wish upon that
751
00:32:01.930 --> 00:32:06.299
downtrodden face. And if you bleed in some emotional music,
752
00:32:06.420 --> 00:32:09.160
it might give you something cinematic. But at that moment,
753
00:32:09.400 --> 00:32:11.059
I was doing nothing.
754
00:32:11.259 --> 00:32:12.400
Yes.
755
00:32:12.460 --> 00:32:14.200
That's all it does. Cut you to the quick.
756
00:32:14.400 --> 00:32:17.609
It fans the flame of your imposter syndrome. That's all
757
00:32:17.670 --> 00:32:17.990
it does.
758
00:32:18.849 --> 00:32:21.289
All right, this brings up my next question. Yeah. First
759
00:32:21.309 --> 00:32:24.759
of all, look at my eyes. Yes. Do I have anything?
760
00:32:24.799 --> 00:32:27.359
Is there any Celtic anything going on in my eyes?
761
00:32:27.420 --> 00:32:27.490
Yes.
762
00:32:27.500 --> 00:32:30.359
My eyes are narrow. They're suspicious. They're creepy.
763
00:32:30.519 --> 00:32:31.299
Yeah.
764
00:32:31.460 --> 00:32:34.180
It's kept me out of film my entire life. What
765
00:32:34.220 --> 00:32:36.539
can we do? Help me. Help me.
766
00:32:36.960 --> 00:32:41.470
I did watch a documentary about Charlie Sheen the other day.
767
00:32:41.589 --> 00:32:41.710
Yep.
768
00:32:42.099 --> 00:32:43.980
And he said there was this one time where obviously
769
00:32:44.000 --> 00:32:48.039
he was struggling with substance abuse, which isn't funny. But
770
00:32:48.380 --> 00:32:51.710
one thing he did, he realized he was falling asleep mid-take.
771
00:32:52.230 --> 00:32:53.069
Do you know this?
772
00:32:53.230 --> 00:32:53.430
Yes.
773
00:32:53.730 --> 00:32:55.769
He asked for the cup of ice and he inserted
774
00:32:55.789 --> 00:32:57.170
an ice cube into his rectum.
775
00:32:57.309 --> 00:32:57.490
Yes.
776
00:32:57.589 --> 00:32:58.650
And he said it gave him like.
777
00:32:58.930 --> 00:33:01.299
And it finished the scene. Yes. Then they show the
778
00:33:01.319 --> 00:33:03.740
scene in the documentary and he's very present.
779
00:33:03.819 --> 00:33:04.380
And aware.
780
00:33:04.579 --> 00:33:07.619
And I thought in that moment, I went, good God,
781
00:33:07.660 --> 00:33:11.210
he's cracked it. My downtrodden lids, if I just give
782
00:33:11.250 --> 00:33:12.910
the old, you know, one up.
783
00:33:12.710 --> 00:33:14.890
The chute, right? And I've gone, bing!
784
00:33:15.089 --> 00:33:17.130
And like, all of a sudden, you know. Right now,
785
00:33:17.170 --> 00:33:18.109
you're doing it. Look at me.
786
00:33:18.210 --> 00:33:19.700
I'm like, I could play Scarface again.
787
00:33:19.720 --> 00:33:22.339
I'm like, oh, fuck you, Dave, right?
788
00:33:23.319 --> 00:33:23.759
Right?
789
00:33:23.940 --> 00:33:26.599
It just gives you the zing. So you're saying if
790
00:33:26.839 --> 00:33:29.349
I shoved ice up my ass, these eyes would open up.
791
00:33:29.569 --> 00:33:32.509
Oh, like, like, I'm trying to think of something that
792
00:33:32.569 --> 00:33:32.890
opens up.
793
00:33:33.309 --> 00:33:38.390
Just like a mall on Christmas Eve. There you go,
794
00:33:38.430 --> 00:33:42.420
now we're talking. So I, let's call it pulling a
795
00:33:42.460 --> 00:33:44.559
sheen from now on. Oh, okay, good. I think that's
796
00:33:44.599 --> 00:33:45.900
the way to do it. You need to pull a sheen.
797
00:33:46.160 --> 00:33:48.940
Yes, I'll be back in a minute. Yeah, and then zing, ring,
798
00:33:49.059 --> 00:33:51.660
and then in you come.
799
00:33:52.500 --> 00:33:56.019
You talked about imposter syndrome. Yes. Everybody has imposter syndrome.
800
00:33:56.740 --> 00:33:59.299
Weirdly, with this Richard Burton piece, it's the first one-man
801
00:33:59.339 --> 00:34:03.420
show I've ever done. And the true great fear I
802
00:34:03.480 --> 00:34:06.900
have is that I will forget my lines because that's it.
803
00:34:06.920 --> 00:34:09.320
It's just like stand-up. It's just you and the audience.
804
00:34:09.820 --> 00:34:12.440
What I've started doing now is doing a run-through. If
805
00:34:12.519 --> 00:34:15.719
I go wrong, it's not stopping or correcting myself. It's
806
00:34:15.840 --> 00:34:19.110
seeing how I get out of that. because that will
807
00:34:19.150 --> 00:34:22.170
ultimately be, I think, the lifeline. So that is an
808
00:34:22.230 --> 00:34:25.070
entirely new discipline for me. Yes, it did a little
809
00:34:25.090 --> 00:34:27.750
bit on stage, but you're always with another actor who
810
00:34:27.769 --> 00:34:28.769
will help you, catch you.
811
00:34:28.809 --> 00:34:30.750
Throw it back to you. They're your cue.
812
00:34:30.750 --> 00:34:30.789
100%.
813
00:34:30.789 --> 00:34:34.389
They're giving you, I mean, you're leading each other, but
814
00:34:34.429 --> 00:34:37.269
it's a dance, and now you're out there alone.
815
00:34:37.309 --> 00:34:39.329
Yes, and I've forgotten my lines in the past, and
816
00:34:39.630 --> 00:34:43.449
another actor saved me. And for the first time, playing
817
00:34:43.550 --> 00:34:46.460
Richard Burton, going home after 22 years, I will do
818
00:34:46.519 --> 00:34:52.110
something alone. And what I'm intrigued is how do I,
819
00:34:52.460 --> 00:34:53.980
exactly what you say, how do I get out of
820
00:34:54.000 --> 00:34:56.510
those moments when it doesn't seem like I messed up?
821
00:34:56.519 --> 00:34:57.400
I try and make it seem like I messed up.
822
00:34:57.400 --> 00:34:58.059
I have a suggestion.
823
00:34:58.159 --> 00:34:58.400
Yes.
824
00:34:58.539 --> 00:34:59.559
If you're open to it.
825
00:34:59.659 --> 00:35:00.059
Don't do it.
826
00:35:01.300 --> 00:35:02.389
If you can get out of the play, I would
827
00:35:02.409 --> 00:35:02.599
get out.
828
00:35:02.630 --> 00:35:02.849
Yes.
829
00:35:03.170 --> 00:35:04.190
I think you're a terrible actor.
830
00:35:04.230 --> 00:35:05.550
Yes. Good. This is good.
831
00:35:05.750 --> 00:35:06.889
You shouldn't be on the stage. No.
832
00:35:07.349 --> 00:35:08.090
Should I get my eyes done?
833
00:35:08.409 --> 00:35:08.590
Yes.
834
00:35:08.690 --> 00:35:09.929
And immediately get your eyes done.
835
00:35:10.070 --> 00:35:10.670
Eyes, please!
836
00:35:10.690 --> 00:35:10.909
Azui!
837
00:35:13.869 --> 00:35:16.469
You should put a little thing in the program. Yeah.
838
00:35:16.489 --> 00:35:17.070
A little message.
839
00:35:17.150 --> 00:35:17.349
Yeah.
840
00:35:17.679 --> 00:35:19.960
And it says, you know, they always say this takes place. Yeah.
841
00:35:20.480 --> 00:35:21.860
On New Year's Day.
842
00:35:21.900 --> 00:35:22.079
Yeah.
843
00:35:22.480 --> 00:35:25.340
Richard Burton's apartment. Yeah. In 1968.
844
00:35:25.340 --> 00:35:26.239
Okay.
845
00:35:27.480 --> 00:35:29.199
Was it 68? Yeah. I just was making that data.
846
00:35:29.239 --> 00:35:29.460
I know.
847
00:35:29.519 --> 00:35:29.900
I'm serious.
848
00:35:30.000 --> 00:35:31.079
We literally said it at the same time.
849
00:35:31.139 --> 00:35:33.300
Okay. So this is how good I am. I know.
850
00:35:33.320 --> 00:35:34.489
Of course, I don't have an imposter syndrome.
851
00:35:34.530 --> 00:35:34.989
God, he's good.
852
00:35:35.090 --> 00:35:35.369
Yes.
853
00:35:35.530 --> 00:35:38.090
So you should have a little thing that says, on
854
00:35:38.150 --> 00:35:41.170
this day, Richard Burton has a very bad cold.
855
00:35:41.530 --> 00:35:41.909
And then.
856
00:35:42.699 --> 00:35:44.139
You come in, enter coughing.
857
00:35:44.179 --> 00:35:44.400
Yeah.
858
00:35:44.679 --> 00:35:47.159
Then start your speeches. Let the cough melt away. Yeah.
859
00:35:47.659 --> 00:35:49.760
But anytime you start to lose it a little bit.
860
00:35:49.820 --> 00:35:53.920
Good God.
861
00:35:54.440 --> 00:35:54.860
Thinking.
862
00:35:55.340 --> 00:35:55.760
Thinking.
863
00:35:55.780 --> 00:35:56.260
The whole time.
864
00:35:56.360 --> 00:35:56.860
Find it.
865
00:35:56.929 --> 00:35:57.360
What's next?
866
00:35:57.409 --> 00:35:58.119
Find it. Find it.
867
00:35:58.159 --> 00:35:58.409
Find it.
868
00:36:00.309 --> 00:36:00.889
And then you'll find.
869
00:36:00.909 --> 00:36:01.150
Yeah.
870
00:36:01.670 --> 00:36:02.030
That's it.
871
00:36:02.230 --> 00:36:05.889
The cough. And people will say he'd never missed a line.
872
00:36:05.949 --> 00:36:06.070
Yeah.
873
00:36:07.010 --> 00:36:10.250
And God, he made me feel like he really was sick.
874
00:36:10.289 --> 00:36:13.389
Good God, that's genius. That's the work of genius.
875
00:36:13.469 --> 00:36:16.360
You should direct theater. You know what? No one's ever
876
00:36:16.440 --> 00:36:19.159
said that to me, and no one ever will seriously.
877
00:36:19.840 --> 00:36:21.539
But I'm going to take you up on that.
878
00:36:21.599 --> 00:36:22.159
Something to consider.
879
00:36:22.179 --> 00:36:23.440
I'm going to quit everything I'm doing.
880
00:36:23.460 --> 00:36:26.039
What would be the Irish one-man show that you would
881
00:36:26.079 --> 00:36:29.320
want to do? Which Irishman? Surely there's one about Harris
882
00:36:29.360 --> 00:36:29.719
you could do.
883
00:36:30.030 --> 00:36:32.210
Oh, my God. Well, I mean, first of all, the
884
00:36:32.250 --> 00:36:34.940
worst thing I could do in my career... would be
885
00:36:35.039 --> 00:36:41.739
for me an American, you know, third generation Irish American
886
00:36:42.099 --> 00:36:45.619
to return to Ireland and attempt a true accent.
887
00:36:45.719 --> 00:36:45.989
Do it.
888
00:36:46.119 --> 00:36:47.170
They would destroy me.
889
00:36:47.199 --> 00:36:47.440
Do it.
890
00:36:47.619 --> 00:36:48.500
A true accent.
891
00:36:48.599 --> 00:36:48.869
Do it.
892
00:36:49.000 --> 00:36:50.050
They would destroy me.
893
00:36:50.079 --> 00:36:50.320
Do it.
894
00:36:50.639 --> 00:36:51.780
Was Harris ever on your show?
895
00:36:51.840 --> 00:36:52.420
Yes, he was.
896
00:36:53.000 --> 00:36:53.639
How many times?
897
00:36:54.199 --> 00:36:56.800
He was on once, I believe. And I watched the
898
00:36:56.860 --> 00:37:01.039
interview recently because one of the problems with doing so
899
00:37:01.539 --> 00:37:06.449
much volume... thousands and thousands of hours of television, four
900
00:37:06.489 --> 00:37:12.730
of them quite good. I decided that, oh my God,
901
00:37:13.010 --> 00:37:16.400
I remembered, I got to speak to the great iconic
902
00:37:16.679 --> 00:37:20.710
Richard Harris. And I have a very dim memory of it.
903
00:37:20.760 --> 00:37:23.670
And then I realized, wait a minute, I can watch it.
904
00:37:24.059 --> 00:37:26.880
So I typed in Conan Richard Harris. He came up,
905
00:37:27.130 --> 00:37:30.690
I watched the whole interview. He was spectacular. And at
906
00:37:30.889 --> 00:37:33.889
one point, he finishes his story with great bravado and
907
00:37:33.949 --> 00:37:36.340
throws himself back in his chair, roaring, laughing, and his
908
00:37:36.469 --> 00:37:38.619
chair starts to tip over, and Andy and I kind
909
00:37:38.659 --> 00:37:40.860
of grab him and pull him back. He was an
910
00:37:41.139 --> 00:37:43.460
absolute delight, everything you'd want him to be.
911
00:37:43.719 --> 00:37:46.460
And now you have this retrospective where, you know, when
912
00:37:46.480 --> 00:37:48.500
the greats die, you look back and go, now I'll
913
00:37:48.539 --> 00:37:49.739
watch me talking to him.
914
00:37:50.179 --> 00:37:52.480
Yeah, but you know what's funny? I'm often, when I
915
00:37:52.579 --> 00:37:55.760
see those moments, I think, why is he there? Meaning,
916
00:37:55.900 --> 00:37:58.440
why is, not why is Richard Harris there. Why is
917
00:37:58.460 --> 00:37:59.340
Richard Harris there?
918
00:37:59.659 --> 00:38:01.849
Why wasn't it Peter O'Toole?
919
00:38:01.969 --> 00:38:03.530
No, why isn't it just me alone?
920
00:38:03.570 --> 00:38:04.730
Yes.
921
00:38:04.889 --> 00:38:06.429
Why is Harris mucking it up?
922
00:38:06.489 --> 00:38:08.050
I could have done much better with that story.
923
00:38:08.840 --> 00:38:13.059
Yeah, exactly. No, I just see myself with a Richard
924
00:38:13.079 --> 00:38:15.440
Harris or a David Bowie and go, oh my God.
925
00:38:15.780 --> 00:38:18.199
It's that thing where you just are, Can you lose him?
926
00:38:18.719 --> 00:38:21.239
Why is he there? But I'm sorry, but that's how
927
00:38:21.280 --> 00:38:21.739
we all feel.
928
00:38:21.800 --> 00:38:22.420
I know, I know.
929
00:38:22.440 --> 00:38:26.199
Because the other person is legitimate and you are not legitimate.
930
00:38:26.219 --> 00:38:26.480
Of course.
931
00:38:26.639 --> 00:38:28.239
And that's just the way it is and you have
932
00:38:28.260 --> 00:38:28.760
to accept it.
933
00:38:28.780 --> 00:38:31.019
Yes, and we go through the world, you know, meeting
934
00:38:31.059 --> 00:38:33.320
these people and feeling like that. I also do think that,
935
00:38:33.570 --> 00:38:35.190
you know, the Celtic gene doesn't help us.
936
00:38:35.650 --> 00:38:35.869
No.
937
00:38:35.889 --> 00:38:36.929
The English are much better at it.
938
00:38:37.239 --> 00:38:40.119
You know, there is a thing, there's a true suspicion
939
00:38:40.159 --> 00:38:42.380
when you go back to, when I go back to Ireland,
940
00:38:42.400 --> 00:38:45.800
and I love it there, and I love the people,
941
00:38:46.300 --> 00:38:50.400
but I know that if you've gone off to America,
942
00:38:50.440 --> 00:38:52.960
if your people went off to America, and then you're
943
00:38:53.000 --> 00:38:57.590
coming back as a television personality in America, you're asking
944
00:38:57.670 --> 00:38:57.969
for it.
945
00:38:58.070 --> 00:38:58.449
Of course.
946
00:38:58.510 --> 00:39:01.369
You know, who the fuck do you think you are? Oh,
947
00:39:01.409 --> 00:39:01.920
here he is.
948
00:39:01.949 --> 00:39:03.329
Bertie fucking Big Balls.
949
00:39:03.349 --> 00:39:03.719
Look at him.
950
00:39:06.699 --> 00:39:09.320
Exactly. And that's the attitude when they stamp your passport.
951
00:39:10.219 --> 00:39:12.639
And everybody's hilarious. That's the other thing I've learned. And
952
00:39:12.659 --> 00:39:16.050
you probably have this in Wales, too, where I'll think, well,
953
00:39:16.150 --> 00:39:19.510
I've really been honing my craft. And then I get
954
00:39:19.630 --> 00:39:22.230
off the plane and I get in a cab and
955
00:39:22.230 --> 00:39:26.619
the cab driver's funnier than anyone I've ever met. Yes.
956
00:39:26.860 --> 00:39:29.400
And that's why, and, and they won't forget a grudge.
957
00:39:29.460 --> 00:39:32.300
I was in Belfast. We're driving along. I was going
958
00:39:32.320 --> 00:39:34.760
to do a, they were having some thing for game
959
00:39:34.800 --> 00:39:36.639
of Thrones that they wanted me to host. It was
960
00:39:36.679 --> 00:39:38.730
during the last season of game of Thrones. And they said,
961
00:39:38.750 --> 00:39:41.469
would you come up? And I go to Belfast for
962
00:39:41.510 --> 00:39:44.469
the first time and I get in a cab and
963
00:39:44.489 --> 00:39:46.690
we're driving along. And then I notice out of the,
964
00:39:47.050 --> 00:39:51.079
out of the side. I say, hey, it says Harland Wolf.
965
00:39:51.579 --> 00:39:54.110
And I remembered, and way back in my mind, Harland
966
00:39:54.119 --> 00:39:58.630
Wolf Shipyard, that's where they made the Titanic. And I
967
00:39:58.710 --> 00:40:00.849
said to the driver, I said, that's where they made
968
00:40:00.869 --> 00:40:01.269
the Titanic.
969
00:40:01.309 --> 00:40:01.849
He went, that's right.
970
00:40:02.230 --> 00:40:05.400
And I said, oh, that ship didn't last too long,
971
00:40:05.440 --> 00:40:07.579
did it? And he went, he said, ah, the English
972
00:40:07.619 --> 00:40:09.440
had sunk it. He said, it was in pretty fucking
973
00:40:09.460 --> 00:40:11.940
good shape when we gave it to him. And I'm like,
974
00:40:12.159 --> 00:40:14.710
and he said it as if this was something that
975
00:40:14.769 --> 00:40:16.150
went down two days ago.
976
00:40:16.929 --> 00:40:17.130
Yeah.
977
00:40:17.210 --> 00:40:18.800
He's still got that chip on his shoulder.
978
00:40:18.840 --> 00:40:19.219
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
979
00:40:19.239 --> 00:40:20.480
When we gave it to the English, it was funny.
980
00:40:20.500 --> 00:40:22.059
We didn't tell him to run it into a nightclub.
981
00:40:22.639 --> 00:40:26.909
You fucking... And so, I mean, it's just, I love
982
00:40:26.949 --> 00:40:29.110
the old wounds that are as fresh.
983
00:40:29.679 --> 00:40:32.909
Oh, my father still talks about 1282, you know, when
984
00:40:32.929 --> 00:40:35.119
the English killed off the last of the Royal Welsh family.
985
00:40:35.139 --> 00:40:37.030
They're like, well, it all turned to shit then, didn't it?
986
00:40:37.260 --> 00:40:40.159
You're like, well, I suppose. Yes, I don't know.
987
00:40:40.360 --> 00:40:42.239
So everything after 1282 has been... No, no wonder we're.
988
00:40:42.199 --> 00:40:45.400
All like this, you know, trying to block out the world.
989
00:40:49.389 --> 00:40:52.130
It's been crap all ever since. To say it's all
990
00:40:52.150 --> 00:40:52.909
been shite.
991
00:40:53.190 --> 00:40:56.510
Ever since. It was golden age up until then.
992
00:40:57.280 --> 00:40:57.619
Yes.
993
00:40:58.300 --> 00:41:00.559
We were okay until the bronze age came along.
994
00:41:00.619 --> 00:41:02.039
Yes, they ruined it for us.
995
00:41:04.199 --> 00:41:07.019
I must discuss briefly.
996
00:41:07.119 --> 00:41:07.880
The power broker.
997
00:41:08.239 --> 00:41:09.260
Your lovely partner.
998
00:41:09.719 --> 00:41:11.440
Oh, yes. She is a power broker.
999
00:41:11.780 --> 00:41:12.699
Is she a power broker?
1000
00:41:12.760 --> 00:41:14.920
In every sense. I am a mere pawn.
1001
00:41:15.519 --> 00:41:17.639
Is that true? Does she control you?
1002
00:41:17.659 --> 00:41:20.019
Sorry, prawn is what she calls me. Yes.
1003
00:41:21.260 --> 00:41:22.000
Are you a prawn?
1004
00:41:22.179 --> 00:41:24.900
In many ways, shellfish to the nth degree.
1005
00:41:25.519 --> 00:41:28.340
I'm just curious. I watch, I'm going to give a
1006
00:41:28.380 --> 00:41:31.739
quick shout out to the beautiful and talented Keri Russell,
1007
00:41:32.079 --> 00:41:36.579
who I'm entranced by the diplomat. She is incredible in
1008
00:41:36.619 --> 00:41:38.760
everything she does. I was stunned to find out and
1009
00:41:38.820 --> 00:41:41.849
still stunned that you two, because you're actors and you
1010
00:41:41.869 --> 00:41:43.869
starred in this series together, The Americans, you had to
1011
00:41:43.909 --> 00:41:44.949
have a chemistry read.
1012
00:41:45.159 --> 00:41:45.400
Yeah.
1013
00:41:45.800 --> 00:41:49.099
To have a chemistry read with someone who then later
1014
00:41:49.219 --> 00:41:53.010
on becomes your life partner, it's fascinating to me because
1015
00:41:53.050 --> 00:41:55.550
I never had a chemistry read with my wife. Wait, what?
1016
00:41:55.710 --> 00:41:56.610
And I think we should.
1017
00:41:56.710 --> 00:41:57.889
Don't you have an agent?
1018
00:41:58.130 --> 00:42:00.349
Surely you have management. Dear God, what are they doing?
1019
00:42:00.369 --> 00:42:02.809
Don't give them 10%.
1020
00:42:03.230 --> 00:42:04.489
I think if my wife and I had had a
1021
00:42:04.510 --> 00:42:07.789
chemistry read, I wouldn't have children right now. The whole
1022
00:42:07.849 --> 00:42:11.210
thing would have fallen apart. You have nothing. Get her
1023
00:42:11.610 --> 00:42:15.530
out of there. But it got me thinking that everyone
1024
00:42:15.570 --> 00:42:18.989
should have a chemistry read before. I mean, essentially, that's
1025
00:42:20.179 --> 00:42:24.340
what some people do. The Catholic Church has some version
1026
00:42:24.420 --> 00:42:27.000
of it. Well, of course. Where you two should get
1027
00:42:27.039 --> 00:42:30.059
together and have some conversations in the company of a priest.
1028
00:42:30.079 --> 00:42:30.300
Yes.
1029
00:42:30.900 --> 00:42:33.340
But that's no chemistry read, let's face it. Did you
1030
00:42:33.400 --> 00:42:35.579
know in the chemistry read, we have real chemistry?
1031
00:42:35.969 --> 00:42:36.119
No.
1032
00:42:36.429 --> 00:42:36.610
No.
1033
00:42:36.739 --> 00:42:37.469
No, I couldn't.
1034
00:42:37.949 --> 00:42:40.610
And I struggle a bit with the term chemistry read because,
1035
00:42:40.630 --> 00:42:42.730
you know, I've done so many of them. They go, well,
1036
00:42:42.750 --> 00:42:44.170
they want you to do a chemistry read. And then
1037
00:42:44.210 --> 00:42:45.849
you go, do you mean they just want me to
1038
00:42:46.030 --> 00:42:48.329
act with another actor? Is that what they want me
1039
00:42:48.389 --> 00:42:48.809
to do?
1040
00:42:48.889 --> 00:42:49.570
It's a silly term.
1041
00:42:49.610 --> 00:42:49.869
Yes.
1042
00:42:50.610 --> 00:42:53.280
And then I think sometimes what they secretly do is,
1043
00:42:53.650 --> 00:42:55.409
In between the acting, they want to see if you're
1044
00:42:55.429 --> 00:42:57.349
joking and having fun or you might like each other.
1045
00:42:57.369 --> 00:42:58.610
Do you know what I mean? And if they might
1046
00:42:58.670 --> 00:43:01.550
get on set. I honestly don't know. I struggle a
1047
00:43:01.550 --> 00:43:03.469
bit with the term chemistry because I'm always like, I
1048
00:43:03.510 --> 00:43:06.090
can pretend to like that person in the room and
1049
00:43:06.110 --> 00:43:08.289
then hopefully they'll give me the job and then I'll
1050
00:43:08.349 --> 00:43:10.269
act my best in the acting bits. But that's all
1051
00:43:10.610 --> 00:43:12.750
pretty much I can do. She had to slap me
1052
00:43:12.789 --> 00:43:15.969
in our chemistry read. And the director said, one of
1053
00:43:16.010 --> 00:43:18.269
the reasons he said we cast you is because you
1054
00:43:18.309 --> 00:43:20.630
took that slap so well. And I went, I had
1055
00:43:20.750 --> 00:43:24.070
no idea she was going to slap me. I was
1056
00:43:24.260 --> 00:43:26.440
reeling in shock that she did it.
1057
00:43:26.639 --> 00:43:27.400
It really hurts.
1058
00:43:27.519 --> 00:43:29.880
Oh, my ears were ringing. They went, God, you took
1059
00:43:29.920 --> 00:43:31.920
it so well. I was like, it caught up with
1060
00:43:31.940 --> 00:43:33.099
me like three days later.
1061
00:43:33.260 --> 00:43:33.440
Yeah.
1062
00:43:33.619 --> 00:43:34.739
I had no idea that was happening.
1063
00:43:34.920 --> 00:43:38.179
So, you know, there are strange happenstance like that where
1064
00:43:38.199 --> 00:43:40.420
you go, oh, thank God I didn't go, oh, Christ.
1065
00:43:40.460 --> 00:43:43.420
What are you doing, woman? Is there tape rolling on this?
1066
00:43:43.760 --> 00:43:43.940
Yeah.
1067
00:43:43.960 --> 00:43:44.280
Oh, yeah.
1068
00:43:44.380 --> 00:43:47.340
It's so funny to me the idea of your family
1069
00:43:47.420 --> 00:43:50.059
being able to at any point look at a tape
1070
00:43:50.119 --> 00:43:53.030
of this is when– our parents met each other, and
1071
00:43:53.090 --> 00:43:54.719
it's you getting the shit kicked out of you.
1072
00:43:54.760 --> 00:43:58.219
Yes, yes. Well, they're like, well, that's like any Wednesday, really.
1073
00:43:59.219 --> 00:43:59.860
But also.
1074
00:44:00.619 --> 00:44:02.820
I forgot, yes. Constant beatings.
1075
00:44:02.860 --> 00:44:04.460
Of course. Oh, there's Dad again, yeah.
1076
00:44:05.340 --> 00:44:08.940
But we'd actually met about 15, 16 years prior to that.
1077
00:44:08.960 --> 00:44:09.599
Oh, wow, okay.
1078
00:44:09.780 --> 00:44:12.860
And at a kickball party that Jennifer Grey threw in
1079
00:44:12.900 --> 00:44:13.500
Los Angeles.
1080
00:44:13.800 --> 00:44:14.780
Those are famous.
1081
00:44:15.099 --> 00:44:17.619
Those are famous debauched parties that she throws.
1082
00:44:17.639 --> 00:44:20.219
Which is why I fought my way in. I was like,
1083
00:44:20.280 --> 00:44:23.400
God damn it! There's a reason they call it dirty dancing.
1084
00:44:23.539 --> 00:44:25.619
And I'm making my way in.
1085
00:44:25.860 --> 00:44:28.989
It can't really mean kickball. It must mean some other
1086
00:44:29.030 --> 00:44:30.710
kind of kickball. It's code.
1087
00:44:30.909 --> 00:44:31.190
Yes.
1088
00:44:32.090 --> 00:44:34.190
So at the end of the party, I'd asked for
1089
00:44:34.230 --> 00:44:37.730
her number. And I then very drunkenly left a message
1090
00:44:37.909 --> 00:44:39.409
on her, you know, back in the old days when
1091
00:44:39.429 --> 00:44:42.760
it was. And she said some drunken Welsh idiot left
1092
00:44:42.800 --> 00:44:45.000
her a message, and that was me. So we kind
1093
00:44:45.039 --> 00:44:47.619
of reminded ourselves of each other after that. So I'd
1094
00:44:47.659 --> 00:44:50.650
remembered that I'd met her many, many years earlier, but
1095
00:44:50.670 --> 00:44:52.429
it wasn't the time and place for me to go, oh,
1096
00:44:52.469 --> 00:44:54.710
guess what? Do you remember that fateful night when I
1097
00:44:54.789 --> 00:44:57.409
opened a beer with a key on my thumb and
1098
00:44:57.469 --> 00:45:00.170
I was inebriated and had to walk home and left
1099
00:45:00.210 --> 00:45:04.219
you a message all made of consonants, not a single vowel?
1100
00:45:04.340 --> 00:45:05.800
Well, I remember that when we did our first.
1101
00:45:09.639 --> 00:45:13.980
First podcast, and as I said, it was during COVID,
1102
00:45:14.079 --> 00:45:16.659
and it looked like you were talking in a basement.
1103
00:45:17.139 --> 00:45:19.570
Still there. You were shrouded in darkness.
1104
00:45:19.590 --> 00:45:19.949
Yes.
1105
00:45:20.510 --> 00:45:23.670
That's my aura. It looked so sad, and then in
1106
00:45:23.710 --> 00:45:28.210
the background, this angel walks by with a hamper of laundry.
1107
00:45:28.309 --> 00:45:28.630
I know.
1108
00:45:29.010 --> 00:45:34.550
And I was like, he's carrying us. Yeah. And I
1109
00:45:34.590 --> 00:45:38.050
put my creep classes on and started filming. Telegram.
1110
00:45:38.769 --> 00:45:40.340
Hey, telegram, you special.
1111
00:45:40.400 --> 00:45:41.880
It won't work. You're on Zoom.
1112
00:45:42.280 --> 00:45:42.559
Yes.
1113
00:45:42.599 --> 00:45:47.679
Damn it. Separated by Zoom. All my creepy tricks won't work.
1114
00:45:48.730 --> 00:45:50.369
I want to talk about this new project. And there's
1115
00:45:50.389 --> 00:45:53.909
a little strange... I have some... connection to this project
1116
00:45:54.190 --> 00:45:57.610
that you've done, The Beast in Me, which is that early,
1117
00:45:57.690 --> 00:46:01.179
early on, I had this production company and the wonderful
1118
00:46:01.440 --> 00:46:06.760
and very intelligent, wise David Kissinger said, there's this script
1119
00:46:06.900 --> 00:46:09.019
that I found that's amazing. He brought it to me.
1120
00:46:09.219 --> 00:46:11.880
I read it. I think Jodie Foster had seen it.
1121
00:46:11.980 --> 00:46:14.960
So Jodie came in and we just started talking about
1122
00:46:15.000 --> 00:46:17.980
how amazing this script was. We were doing our best
1123
00:46:18.019 --> 00:46:20.940
to try and shepherd this thing along. but once people
1124
00:46:20.980 --> 00:46:23.960
hear Conan O'Brien's involved, everyone flees.
1125
00:46:24.119 --> 00:46:24.920
That imposter.
1126
00:46:25.059 --> 00:46:27.530
That imposter, yeah. He's phoning it in.
1127
00:46:27.570 --> 00:46:27.840
Again.
1128
00:46:27.860 --> 00:46:28.929
Is he wearing those glasses?
1129
00:46:29.760 --> 00:46:30.849
Did you get one of his telegraphs?
1130
00:46:31.170 --> 00:46:31.449
Yes.
1131
00:46:31.690 --> 00:46:32.630
They're not real, you know.
1132
00:46:32.650 --> 00:46:33.590
Yes.
1133
00:46:34.070 --> 00:46:38.610
And so time goes by, and then I find out that,
1134
00:46:38.829 --> 00:46:41.400
oh wait, this is actually going to happen. But I
1135
00:46:41.440 --> 00:46:43.780
wasn't sure. For a while, we were thinking, who is
1136
00:46:43.820 --> 00:46:46.090
going to play this part? And then I find out
1137
00:46:46.110 --> 00:46:48.610
it's Claire Danes. And then I find out that it's you.
1138
00:46:49.070 --> 00:46:52.070
And I had no, no one would listen to me anyway.
1139
00:46:52.389 --> 00:46:54.769
But someone did call me at one point and said,
1140
00:46:54.949 --> 00:46:58.250
what do you think of, for the part, for the
1141
00:46:58.329 --> 00:47:00.829
second lead or the co-star of it, what do you
1142
00:47:00.849 --> 00:47:04.329
think of Matthew Rhys? And I was like, I love
1143
00:47:04.610 --> 00:47:08.119
that guy. I would. He is. He's got to do this.
1144
00:47:08.280 --> 00:47:10.420
I want to have my name in something that you're in.
1145
00:47:10.820 --> 00:47:13.960
And listen, I take no credit for anything. I'll demand money.
1146
00:47:14.690 --> 00:47:18.460
I'll make sure that. I take a big enough piece
1147
00:47:18.500 --> 00:47:19.719
that it hurts the production.
1148
00:47:19.780 --> 00:47:20.059
Always.
1149
00:47:20.519 --> 00:47:24.159
Always. That's why I did it for bread. Yeah, exactly.
1150
00:47:25.030 --> 00:47:27.889
But no, I can take no credit for anything other
1151
00:47:27.929 --> 00:47:30.570
than I loved this script a long time ago, and
1152
00:47:30.889 --> 00:47:34.110
I very much wanted to see this make it. And
1153
00:47:35.369 --> 00:47:37.300
I hope my name was of some use. It may
1154
00:47:37.340 --> 00:47:37.820
have harmed.
1155
00:47:38.019 --> 00:47:38.400
Oh, no.
1156
00:47:38.539 --> 00:47:42.559
And my 70% of the profits... I'm ashamed.
1157
00:47:42.659 --> 00:47:44.300
No, you shouldn't be. I'm ashamed. No, you've earned it.
1158
00:47:44.380 --> 00:47:46.480
You've earned it. And thank you for the vote of confidence.
1159
00:47:46.500 --> 00:47:48.639
By doing nothing, I've earned it. Oh, stop.
1160
00:47:49.139 --> 00:47:52.099
It's the other thing that no one realizes, the amount
1161
00:47:52.119 --> 00:47:54.309
of years that go into development. So when people like
1162
00:47:54.329 --> 00:47:56.550
you and Jodie Foster are going, no, this should get made.
1163
00:47:56.849 --> 00:47:58.150
You know, thank God that you do.
1164
00:47:58.329 --> 00:47:59.750
Jodie was a child at the time.
1165
00:47:59.929 --> 00:48:01.789
Yes. She'd just done Taxi Driver.
1166
00:48:01.809 --> 00:48:05.710
She'd done Taxi Driver. I was in fourth grade. And
1167
00:48:05.849 --> 00:48:08.739
I said, I think we should make this. And no
1168
00:48:08.780 --> 00:48:10.780
one listened to us because I was in Brookline, Massachusetts.
1169
00:48:12.340 --> 00:48:16.840
And she just done Bugsy Malone with Alan Parker.
1170
00:48:17.219 --> 00:48:17.460
Yeah.
1171
00:48:17.500 --> 00:48:21.440
So, you know, it was a long time ago. People
1172
00:48:21.500 --> 00:48:24.769
don't understand how long it takes. And the Securitas Roots,
1173
00:48:24.849 --> 00:48:27.250
it's a musical for a while. Now it's an animated series.
1174
00:48:28.119 --> 00:48:29.219
Yeah, no, it's very true.
1175
00:48:29.239 --> 00:48:30.619
It was all going to be done with cats for
1176
00:48:30.639 --> 00:48:30.929
a while.
1177
00:48:30.969 --> 00:48:35.750
Yes, well, they haven't ruled that out. But it was,
1178
00:48:36.230 --> 00:48:39.650
it reminded me of, I want to be careful with this,
1179
00:48:39.690 --> 00:48:41.849
but it was, there's a sense of it being an
1180
00:48:41.949 --> 00:48:44.679
old-fashioned thriller, which I haven't seen in a very long time,
1181
00:48:44.880 --> 00:48:49.099
where a concept kind of is sometimes overpowering and overwhelming
1182
00:48:49.619 --> 00:48:51.900
in certain productions these days. And what I just loved
1183
00:48:51.940 --> 00:48:54.389
was that you have two people who are basically intrigued
1184
00:48:54.409 --> 00:48:58.550
with each other and therefore begins a very gripping and
1185
00:48:58.670 --> 00:49:03.949
thrilling cat and mouse game. It's old-fashioned thriller tension. And
1186
00:49:04.110 --> 00:49:07.010
I love that about it. Because when I read it,
1187
00:49:07.010 --> 00:49:08.329
it did the same thing that it does when you
1188
00:49:08.349 --> 00:49:10.289
watch it. You go, oh my God, how is this
1189
00:49:10.329 --> 00:49:10.929
going to unfold?
1190
00:49:11.070 --> 00:49:12.809
Yeah, that's how I felt reading that script for the
1191
00:49:12.829 --> 00:49:16.809
first time. The fact that Howard Gordon is the brain
1192
00:49:16.869 --> 00:49:20.500
behind this, Well, also.
1193
00:49:20.579 --> 00:49:22.960
You know, when I said, when obviously it was Clay's project,
1194
00:49:23.159 --> 00:49:25.829
so when they said, you know, Claire Danes, Howard Gordon,
1195
00:49:25.989 --> 00:49:27.949
you know, the Homeland team are back together.
1196
00:49:27.989 --> 00:49:29.469
And as soon as you hear that, you're like, okay,
1197
00:49:29.489 --> 00:49:29.739
I'm in.
1198
00:49:30.030 --> 00:49:31.820
And then they said, we didn't ask you.
1199
00:49:32.039 --> 00:49:33.780
I was like, I know, but I'm still in.
1200
00:49:34.000 --> 00:49:35.980
Do you just crash meetings and go, I'm in? Yeah,
1201
00:49:36.000 --> 00:49:37.360
and they go, who is that?
1202
00:49:38.500 --> 00:49:38.739
Yes.
1203
00:49:38.920 --> 00:49:39.940
Stop saying that.
1204
00:49:40.059 --> 00:49:40.400
I'm in.
1205
00:49:40.539 --> 00:49:43.119
Yeah, yes. You somehow got into this room. You know
1206
00:49:43.139 --> 00:49:43.579
what's funny?
1207
00:49:43.639 --> 00:49:46.820
I've heard you say in... I think I've heard you
1208
00:49:46.860 --> 00:49:48.610
say in more than one interview, oh, I'm not an
1209
00:49:48.639 --> 00:49:49.530
A-list actor.
1210
00:49:49.869 --> 00:49:50.210
I don't know.
1211
00:49:50.269 --> 00:49:52.789
I think of you, I think of you, I don't know.
1212
00:49:53.269 --> 00:49:56.030
Maybe actors think about that more than anyone else, but
1213
00:49:56.070 --> 00:49:59.130
I don't see why anyone wouldn't want you first and
1214
00:49:59.170 --> 00:50:01.590
foremost for something. Because you're money in the bank.
1215
00:50:01.630 --> 00:50:04.230
Money in the bank. You're 70% in the bank.
1216
00:50:04.269 --> 00:50:06.360
What I want to start, what I want to start, okay,
1217
00:50:06.699 --> 00:50:09.159
is in showbiz parties, just going up to other actors going,
1218
00:50:09.219 --> 00:50:09.820
what letter are you?
1219
00:50:10.159 --> 00:50:12.480
What letter are you? A? Are you A? A or B.
1220
00:50:12.699 --> 00:50:12.920
Yes.
1221
00:50:13.019 --> 00:50:16.619
But really, how many A's are there anymore? A-list. I mean, truly.
1222
00:50:16.659 --> 00:50:17.400
I don't know what it even means.
1223
00:50:17.420 --> 00:50:18.320
I would say five.
1224
00:50:18.860 --> 00:50:19.320
Who are they?
1225
00:50:19.429 --> 00:50:19.949
I don't know.
1226
00:50:20.570 --> 00:50:22.510
I don't know. See, that's what you... Biz Clipler.
1227
00:50:22.909 --> 00:50:23.469
Your good old Biz.
1228
00:50:23.510 --> 00:50:24.070
Chaz Maloney.
1229
00:50:24.150 --> 00:50:24.409
Yeah.
1230
00:50:24.909 --> 00:50:25.389
Crazy Chaz.
1231
00:50:25.429 --> 00:50:26.110
Sass Datarack.
1232
00:50:26.190 --> 00:50:26.889
Is he still around?
1233
00:50:26.989 --> 00:50:27.670
Sheila McGee.
1234
00:50:27.829 --> 00:50:28.530
Sheila McGee.
1235
00:50:29.110 --> 00:50:29.349
See?
1236
00:50:29.389 --> 00:50:30.409
It doesn't mean anything anymore.
1237
00:50:30.449 --> 00:50:30.789
No, I know.
1238
00:50:30.869 --> 00:50:31.750
But who, like.
1239
00:50:32.670 --> 00:50:34.010
Meryl. Meryl Streep. A.
1240
00:50:34.239 --> 00:50:36.460
Meryl Streep. A. Harrison Ford. A.
1241
00:50:36.699 --> 00:50:36.880
No.
1242
00:50:37.059 --> 00:50:37.480
He's fallen terribly.
1243
00:50:37.539 --> 00:50:37.659
Why?
1244
00:50:37.699 --> 00:50:38.639
Because he's gone to TV.
1245
00:50:39.179 --> 00:50:41.219
I think he's on radio now. He's doing ads.
1246
00:50:41.239 --> 00:50:41.320
Yeah.
1247
00:50:42.530 --> 00:50:44.230
He said, go to that car wash.
1248
00:50:44.289 --> 00:50:45.489
It's a good one.
1249
00:50:46.329 --> 00:50:47.809
If you need to land a bike lane on a
1250
00:50:47.849 --> 00:50:51.150
golf course. But I think, but it's very personal. It's,
1251
00:50:51.289 --> 00:50:53.530
you know, Merrill, it doesn't matter what your opinion is.
1252
00:50:53.610 --> 00:50:56.409
She's up there. Always A. And yeah, and Harrison Ford, yes. A.
1253
00:50:56.730 --> 00:50:58.210
He walks on screen, you go, oh my God, because
1254
00:50:58.230 --> 00:51:01.170
you've grown up with these. Some of that too is longevity.
1255
00:51:01.210 --> 00:51:01.969
You've grown up with them.
1256
00:51:02.110 --> 00:51:02.269
Yes.
1257
00:51:02.289 --> 00:51:03.309
You're still a young lad.
1258
00:51:03.329 --> 00:51:04.210
Stop your whiz.
1259
00:51:05.489 --> 00:51:06.329
Stop your ways.
1260
00:51:06.389 --> 00:51:07.769
Tom Cruise, another A.
1261
00:51:07.989 --> 00:51:08.719
Yeah, sure.
1262
00:51:09.019 --> 00:51:11.639
People who basically, when they walk on screen, you feel
1263
00:51:11.940 --> 00:51:15.019
safe or comfortable because you go, oh, we're okay now.
1264
00:51:15.420 --> 00:51:19.449
Right, but I think it's increasingly maybe an irrelevant term.
1265
00:51:19.869 --> 00:51:21.070
Everything's so fractured now.
1266
00:51:21.130 --> 00:51:21.369
Yes.
1267
00:51:21.469 --> 00:51:24.849
We used to walk into the old movie palaces and
1268
00:51:24.929 --> 00:51:29.909
buy our popcorn and our sody pop. And we'd sit
1269
00:51:29.929 --> 00:51:32.389
there and we'd watch the golden legends up on the screen.
1270
00:51:32.409 --> 00:51:35.130
Those days are over. We're watching things on an airplane.
1271
00:51:35.150 --> 00:51:38.300
We're watching things on little screens on their phones. I
1272
00:51:38.340 --> 00:51:40.860
watch all the Academy-nominated movies on my phone.
1273
00:51:40.880 --> 00:51:41.300
No, you don't.
1274
00:51:41.320 --> 00:51:43.360
And sometimes I think, that's still too big. And I
1275
00:51:43.420 --> 00:51:45.139
crack the phone in half and I watch it then.
1276
00:51:45.360 --> 00:51:46.139
Through one eye.
1277
00:51:46.780 --> 00:51:49.170
Through one little, my squinty eye. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1278
00:51:49.250 --> 00:51:50.969
Which one today? Yeah, exactly.
1279
00:51:51.010 --> 00:51:52.389
I'll use the left for this one.
1280
00:51:52.409 --> 00:51:52.869
Oh, yes.
1281
00:51:52.889 --> 00:51:53.829
It's what they deserve.
1282
00:51:53.849 --> 00:51:56.170
So, yeah. And also, we've Instagrammed, you know, we've read
1283
00:51:56.210 --> 00:51:58.869
on Instagram what they've had for lunch, so there's no mystery.
1284
00:51:58.909 --> 00:51:59.650
The mystery's gone.
1285
00:51:59.849 --> 00:52:01.590
Well, that's why you should stop telling people what you've
1286
00:52:01.610 --> 00:52:04.139
had for lunch. Why? People love it. I had an
1287
00:52:04.219 --> 00:52:05.360
egg mayonnaise sandwich just.
1288
00:52:05.219 --> 00:52:05.920
Before I came in.
1289
00:52:07.280 --> 00:52:10.300
I'm 30 seconds from a heart attack. Stay off the
1290
00:52:10.380 --> 00:52:11.679
egg mayonnaise sandwiches for God's sake.
1291
00:52:11.699 --> 00:52:12.019
No, I won't.
1292
00:52:12.039 --> 00:52:14.280
Damn you. You'll do as you're told. No, I won't.
1293
00:52:14.360 --> 00:52:16.019
It's the devil's work and I love the devil.
1294
00:52:17.320 --> 00:52:19.179
I just want to rent a cabin with you so
1295
00:52:19.199 --> 00:52:20.300
we can just yell at each other.
1296
00:52:20.340 --> 00:52:20.409
Yes.
1297
00:52:20.699 --> 00:52:21.619
Nothing sexual.
1298
00:52:21.699 --> 00:52:21.880
No.
1299
00:52:22.320 --> 00:52:24.900
At first. But then we're just yelling at each other.
1300
00:52:25.199 --> 00:52:27.500
Damn you, I'll have your eyes. You know, it's just
1301
00:52:27.579 --> 00:52:28.860
you and I yelling at each other.
1302
00:52:28.880 --> 00:52:30.360
It's basically Muncie on the bounty.
1303
00:52:30.420 --> 00:52:31.139
Yes.
1304
00:52:31.539 --> 00:52:34.599
But we're both vying for who plays Captain Bly.
1305
00:52:34.619 --> 00:52:37.539
Who's Bly, yeah. Damn your eyesight! I feel terrible for
1306
00:52:37.639 --> 00:52:39.849
one man right now, and that's, his name is Eduardo.
1307
00:52:40.010 --> 00:52:41.789
Eduardo does all of, I don't know if you can
1308
00:52:41.809 --> 00:52:43.829
hear us, Eduardo. I hope you can. Is he doing this?
1309
00:52:44.130 --> 00:52:45.969
He is doing all the mixing right now.
1310
00:52:45.989 --> 00:52:46.429
Oh, God.
1311
00:52:46.630 --> 00:52:49.929
And I think his board is probably on fire.
1312
00:52:49.949 --> 00:52:50.650
Is that what we can smell?
1313
00:52:50.670 --> 00:52:53.099
Because you've got a Welshman and an Irishman screaming at
1314
00:52:53.119 --> 00:52:56.380
each other. Out shouting. Into these very sensitive microphones.
1315
00:52:57.340 --> 00:52:58.619
He'll have tinnitus for life.
1316
00:52:58.800 --> 00:52:59.260
Exactly.
1317
00:52:59.300 --> 00:53:00.519
But he'll think of us.
1318
00:53:00.760 --> 00:53:02.219
Yeah, and he'll know how to say tinnitus.
1319
00:53:02.400 --> 00:53:02.599
And write.
1320
00:53:02.619 --> 00:53:03.219
Which most people don't.
1321
00:53:03.239 --> 00:53:04.059
Oh, do you say tinnitus?
1322
00:53:04.320 --> 00:53:06.690
I don't even say it anymore because I can't pronounce
1323
00:53:06.710 --> 00:53:08.489
things over the ringing in my ear. Do you have it?
1324
00:53:08.590 --> 00:53:08.949
I have it.
1325
00:53:08.949 --> 00:53:09.150
Sorry, what?
1326
00:53:09.170 --> 00:53:09.750
I have it all the time.
1327
00:53:09.769 --> 00:53:10.829
What's that? I do.
1328
00:53:10.969 --> 00:53:13.090
I want to get, why did the ear horn go away?
1329
00:53:13.429 --> 00:53:16.380
The old ear trumpet that comes out that people used to,
1330
00:53:16.489 --> 00:53:18.670
in 1920s movies, go, eh?
1331
00:53:18.690 --> 00:53:18.949
Yes.
1332
00:53:19.230 --> 00:53:21.409
I want to get one of those in my dotage.
1333
00:53:21.469 --> 00:53:23.449
And then it'll be selective because you can put it
1334
00:53:23.500 --> 00:53:25.579
to your ear depending on who's talking.
1335
00:53:25.599 --> 00:53:26.679
Yes. At what time.
1336
00:53:26.699 --> 00:53:29.940
So, exactly. Exactly. And with a hearing aid, people don't know,
1337
00:53:30.019 --> 00:53:32.139
but if I have a giant horn that I hold
1338
00:53:32.260 --> 00:53:34.920
up to my ear, it'll be great because I'll be
1339
00:53:34.960 --> 00:53:37.159
listening to someone else and then you'll start to talk
1340
00:53:37.280 --> 00:53:38.760
and I'll put it down.
1341
00:53:39.079 --> 00:53:41.099
Oh, it'll be the ultimate social tool.
1342
00:53:41.219 --> 00:53:44.210
Yes, the ultimate burn that what you're saying means nothing
1343
00:53:44.250 --> 00:53:46.789
to me. It just goes down and it never comes up.
1344
00:53:46.809 --> 00:53:47.550
Slow horn down.
1345
00:53:48.070 --> 00:53:52.170
Yeah, the S-H-T. You got S-H-T'd by, oh, yes. So,
1346
00:53:52.230 --> 00:53:54.570
am I coming back to your house tonight? What's happening?
1347
00:53:54.630 --> 00:53:56.969
Yes, I'd say we'll stop off somewhere for a few
1348
00:53:57.010 --> 00:53:58.869
cold ones and then text Carrie that.
1349
00:53:58.750 --> 00:53:59.170
We're on the way.
1350
00:53:59.190 --> 00:54:02.070
A few cold ones meaning ice for our ass. Yes.
1351
00:54:02.650 --> 00:54:04.380
Two five-pound bags, please.
1352
00:54:04.449 --> 00:54:06.820
Would you like some ice? No, we brought our own. Yes.
1353
00:54:07.019 --> 00:54:09.099
We both blow on our thumbs and it comes shooting out.
1354
00:54:09.139 --> 00:54:09.460
Yeah.
1355
00:54:09.860 --> 00:54:11.519
Oh, come on, David. Grow up.
1356
00:54:11.539 --> 00:54:12.480
It's not the first time.
1357
00:54:12.500 --> 00:54:16.619
Yeah, Jesus Christ. David's had to insert it most of
1358
00:54:16.639 --> 00:54:21.139
the time. Ice me, David. No, sheen me. Sheen me.
1359
00:54:21.179 --> 00:54:23.449
Do you have Mr. Sheen in this country?
1360
00:54:25.510 --> 00:54:27.309
I talked to him on the podcast last week.
1361
00:54:27.349 --> 00:54:27.750
Last week.
1362
00:54:27.889 --> 00:54:28.070
Yeah.
1363
00:54:28.230 --> 00:54:29.869
I don't know when this one, this one's coming out soon,
1364
00:54:29.909 --> 00:54:30.750
isn't it? Okay.
1365
00:54:31.010 --> 00:54:31.210
Yeah.
1366
00:54:31.429 --> 00:54:33.929
So, yes, I talked to the man. He's doing well.
1367
00:54:34.300 --> 00:54:35.980
He's fine. He's in good, fine fettle.
1368
00:54:36.059 --> 00:54:36.320
Great.
1369
00:54:36.739 --> 00:54:37.360
Yeah. Good.
1370
00:54:37.679 --> 00:54:38.980
Your eyes just went dead because I was talking about
1371
00:54:39.000 --> 00:54:39.539
another actor.
1372
00:54:39.699 --> 00:54:39.920
Yes.
1373
00:54:39.980 --> 00:54:40.579
Well, there's three.
1374
00:54:41.139 --> 00:54:47.050
I was actually holding three Sheens in my head. I
1375
00:54:47.110 --> 00:54:50.530
had Charlie Sheen, obviously, his wonderful father.
1376
00:54:50.789 --> 00:54:51.849
Yes, Martin Sheen. Martin.
1377
00:54:52.190 --> 00:54:54.329
And then also Michael Sheen, a fellow Welshman.
1378
00:54:54.670 --> 00:54:55.289
Oh, terrific actor.
1379
00:54:55.309 --> 00:54:57.750
Who is responsible for this one man, Richard Burton, because
1380
00:54:57.789 --> 00:55:00.349
he'd taken over the Welsh National Theatre and said, come and.
1381
00:55:00.289 --> 00:55:01.780
Do something in Wales. And I went, I'll come and
1382
00:55:01.800 --> 00:55:01.980
do it.
1383
00:55:03.559 --> 00:55:04.219
I admire you.
1384
00:55:04.360 --> 00:55:04.980
Well, thank you.
1385
00:55:05.000 --> 00:55:05.250
I admire you.
1386
00:55:05.260 --> 00:55:06.519
I'd like to grow up and be you one day.
1387
00:55:07.090 --> 00:55:11.030
Only I'm older than you. My wife today, she's in
1388
00:55:11.070 --> 00:55:13.619
New York with me, saw that I had a little
1389
00:55:13.719 --> 00:55:16.280
joy in my step today and I said, I'm seeing Mr.
1390
00:55:16.340 --> 00:55:19.670
Matthew Rhys and I couldn't be happier. You are hilariously
1391
00:55:19.750 --> 00:55:22.739
funny and you're a joy to be around. I hear
1392
00:55:22.760 --> 00:55:25.280
you're a monster on set. True. But I wasn't on set,
1393
00:55:25.320 --> 00:55:27.840
so I don't care. And I just wish you all
1394
00:55:27.900 --> 00:55:29.059
good things. I really do.
1395
00:55:29.239 --> 00:55:32.280
Well, thank you very much. I appreciate those words enormously,
1396
00:55:32.420 --> 00:55:33.320
especially coming from you.
1397
00:55:33.719 --> 00:55:34.280
Such a great man.
1398
00:55:34.449 --> 00:55:34.699
Yes.
1399
00:55:34.949 --> 00:55:35.809
Let's elaborate on that.
1400
00:55:35.869 --> 00:55:38.070
I'm sorry. As a great man.
1401
00:55:38.610 --> 00:55:39.710
Maybe the greatest man.
1402
00:55:39.750 --> 00:55:41.650
I was trying to get to that. Possibly the greatest.
1403
00:55:41.670 --> 00:55:42.309
Let's get sooner, sooner.
1404
00:55:42.329 --> 00:55:44.469
Sorry, sorry. The greatest man I've ever met.
1405
00:55:45.130 --> 00:55:46.190
Maybe the greatest comic of all time.
1406
00:55:46.730 --> 00:55:49.420
Well, that goes without question. Why it's written here. Sorry.
1407
00:55:49.519 --> 00:55:51.920
What? We rehearsed this.
1408
00:55:51.940 --> 00:55:53.719
Yes, I'm sorry. What else am I supposed to say again?
1409
00:55:57.260 --> 00:55:58.619
It's all so embarrassing.
1410
00:55:58.679 --> 00:56:00.219
Yes.
1411
00:56:00.449 --> 00:56:01.789
Go with the gods, old friend.
1412
00:56:01.809 --> 00:56:02.150
Thank you.
1413
00:56:02.269 --> 00:56:02.690
Be well.
1414
00:56:02.789 --> 00:56:05.010
Thank you very much. And a joy to be here,
1415
00:56:05.090 --> 00:56:06.409
as always. Thank you for the invite.
1416
00:56:06.829 --> 00:56:07.750
Thank you.
1417
00:56:17.440 --> 00:56:21.199
Good nights are about the people, the laughs, the real
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00:56:21.239 --> 00:56:22.360
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1437
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1439
00:57:40.500 --> 00:57:42.630
Last week, we were doing a State of the Podcast,
1440
00:57:42.789 --> 00:57:45.340
and it got sidetracked by Sona and the Brazilian buttlift.
1441
00:57:45.670 --> 00:57:47.489
which is not a new Indiana Jones movie.
1442
00:57:47.630 --> 00:57:50.570
But it is a children's story. It's a children's book
1443
00:57:50.630 --> 00:57:54.429
coming out soon. And Sona and the Brazilian butt lift. Mommy,
1444
00:57:54.449 --> 00:57:58.050
that's my favorite book. This is part two where we
1445
00:57:58.070 --> 00:57:59.789
do intend to. So Adam, we interrupted you because you
1446
00:57:59.809 --> 00:58:01.789
were listing our incredible.
1447
00:58:01.449 --> 00:58:01.949
Accolades and successes.
1448
00:58:01.969 --> 00:58:02.929
We had a ton of accolades, which I went through.
1449
00:58:03.010 --> 00:58:04.840
And I got embarrassed and we got off track.
1450
00:58:05.050 --> 00:58:08.159
Lots of awards, great guests. And I was talking about
1451
00:58:08.199 --> 00:58:10.139
how we've started doing full.
1452
00:58:10.579 --> 00:58:12.000
Lots of awards.
1453
00:58:12.340 --> 00:58:13.500
A major award.
1454
00:58:15.969 --> 00:58:18.489
We started doing a full length video in May and
1455
00:58:18.650 --> 00:58:21.050
numbers are great. And again, the concern was, is it
1456
00:58:21.309 --> 00:58:23.710
incremental audience or are we just taking people away from
1457
00:58:23.929 --> 00:58:27.809
the podcasting? Now, the interesting thing is on the history
1458
00:58:27.949 --> 00:58:31.449
of the sort of the podcast delivery has been RSS.
1459
00:58:31.869 --> 00:58:33.510
So you know what that is?
1460
00:58:33.550 --> 00:58:34.139
No, I don't.
1461
00:58:34.389 --> 00:58:36.480
When people have listened to podcasts in the past and
1462
00:58:36.579 --> 00:58:39.760
use the podcast app, you're getting an RSS feed delivering
1463
00:58:39.780 --> 00:58:42.239
you the podcast and you have to subscribe to that, right?
1464
00:58:42.280 --> 00:58:44.880
So subscribers to the podcast will get the podcast every week.
1465
00:58:45.340 --> 00:58:48.760
And we have built up a huge audience in podcasting
1466
00:58:48.860 --> 00:58:51.519
over the past seven years on the podcast app.
1467
00:58:51.599 --> 00:58:52.440
People have subscribed.
1468
00:58:52.980 --> 00:58:56.780
The interesting thing about YouTube is we have a very
1469
00:58:56.880 --> 00:58:59.820
large YouTube channel, over 9 million subscribers on YouTube.
1470
00:59:00.159 --> 00:59:01.659
When we put out- Unrelated to the podcast.
1471
00:59:01.699 --> 00:59:02.590
Completely unrelated.
1472
00:59:02.610 --> 00:59:06.110
That's Conan content from before you chimps entered the picture.
1473
00:59:06.130 --> 00:59:06.690
That's very true.
1474
00:59:06.750 --> 00:59:10.800
That was built on TBS content and- lots of great-
1475
00:59:10.820 --> 00:59:13.590
One man's dream. Or keeping him subscribed.
1476
00:59:13.949 --> 00:59:16.630
But the interesting thing about YouTube is when we put
1477
00:59:16.670 --> 00:59:19.530
a podcast video on that channel that has 9 million
1478
00:59:19.550 --> 00:59:23.760
subscribers- About half of the views to our podcast video
1479
00:59:24.050 --> 00:59:28.210
come from non-subscribers, meaning that YouTube has.
1480
00:59:29.210 --> 00:59:30.940
Algorithmically suckered those bitches in.
1481
00:59:30.949 --> 00:59:34.440
Algorithmically is exactly the word. YouTube is serving our content
1482
00:59:34.460 --> 00:59:36.630
to people who... didn't subscribe.
1483
00:59:36.869 --> 00:59:39.599
Who actively dislike me? I mean, I doubt it.
1484
00:59:39.639 --> 00:59:41.360
I think YouTube thinks that they will, that they're going
1485
00:59:41.380 --> 00:59:43.380
to like this content. And so it's sharing the content
1486
00:59:43.420 --> 00:59:46.400
more and more, which is actually awesome because it's growing our, the,
1487
00:59:46.760 --> 00:59:50.199
the pod, the old legacy podcast is a very deliberate act.
1488
00:59:50.219 --> 00:59:52.400
You know, you had to subscribe, then you get your podcasts.
1489
00:59:52.670 --> 00:59:55.349
This is like we're growing our audience on YouTube because
1490
00:59:55.489 --> 00:59:58.590
all these people who didn't already subscribe are getting fed
1491
00:59:58.630 --> 01:00:00.170
the content and watching the content.
1492
01:00:00.230 --> 01:00:01.690
So we're an invasive weed.
1493
01:00:03.969 --> 01:00:06.360
Best description I've ever heard of this podcast.
1494
01:00:07.400 --> 01:00:10.139
Is Conan going to be like a YouTube personality, though?
1495
01:00:10.179 --> 01:00:12.860
Should he be like, hey, smash that like button?
1496
01:00:13.000 --> 01:00:14.679
I mean, yes, we probably.
1497
01:00:15.099 --> 01:00:16.639
The crazy thing is, and we talked about this a
1498
01:00:16.639 --> 01:00:18.789
little bit on the last time, but like, Podcast, because
1499
01:00:18.829 --> 01:00:22.309
podcasts are becoming so, are distributed so much on YouTube,
1500
01:00:22.650 --> 01:00:26.329
as a billion people a month are watching podcasts on YouTube,
1501
01:00:26.469 --> 01:00:29.300
which is a crazy number. The sort of podcast world
1502
01:00:29.389 --> 01:00:31.659
and the YouTuber world, Sona, that you're talking about, they're
1503
01:00:31.679 --> 01:00:34.579
kind of merging. Like podcasters and YouTubers are all part
1504
01:00:34.599 --> 01:00:37.159
of this larger creator economy now.
1505
01:00:37.519 --> 01:00:40.719
And you're there. It's hilarious that no one has sat
1506
01:00:40.739 --> 01:00:43.219
me down, including you, and talked to me about any
1507
01:00:43.260 --> 01:00:43.599
of this.
1508
01:00:43.900 --> 01:00:44.099
Mm-hmm.
1509
01:00:45.400 --> 01:00:47.179
That's what this is for.
1510
01:00:47.280 --> 01:00:48.159
This is what this is.
1511
01:00:48.320 --> 01:00:48.699
I know.
1512
01:00:48.719 --> 01:00:49.239
I know.
1513
01:00:50.170 --> 01:00:52.170
We can't sit you down unless there's a microphone in
1514
01:00:52.190 --> 01:00:52.590
front of you.
1515
01:00:53.170 --> 01:00:57.829
Or a camera, it turns out. That's incredible.
1516
01:00:57.969 --> 01:00:59.980
You should become more of like a YouTuber, like do
1517
01:01:00.000 --> 01:01:02.460
some pranks and like unbox stuff.
1518
01:01:02.960 --> 01:01:05.119
I'm going to start unboxing stuff.
1519
01:01:05.320 --> 01:01:07.219
Here, drink this urine.
1520
01:01:11.260 --> 01:01:14.519
I don't even know enough about YouTube stuff. I don't either.
1521
01:01:14.880 --> 01:01:17.000
Well, I will say, Conan, sorry to interrupt you. But
1522
01:01:17.320 --> 01:01:19.880
the other, the thing that you've joked about a bunch now,
1523
01:01:20.139 --> 01:01:23.119
which is becoming more and more true, is that you're
1524
01:01:23.260 --> 01:01:26.130
back to hosting a late night show. Because not only
1525
01:01:26.190 --> 01:01:29.130
is YouTube the number one destination for people to listen
1526
01:01:29.170 --> 01:01:31.949
to podcasts, it's also the number one streaming platform now.
1527
01:01:32.090 --> 01:01:34.530
And the number one thing that people are watching on
1528
01:01:34.570 --> 01:01:37.429
TV in their living rooms. So you have essentially just
1529
01:01:37.530 --> 01:01:38.389
gone back and created.
1530
01:01:38.269 --> 01:01:40.150
Another talk show. I make this show repeatedly, but it's
1531
01:01:40.210 --> 01:01:44.409
so funny to me that I deliberately left late night
1532
01:01:44.550 --> 01:01:48.349
after 28 years. I loved it. I enjoyed every second.
1533
01:01:48.469 --> 01:01:50.510
I said, that's good. I'm going to go now. I'm
1534
01:01:51.610 --> 01:01:53.699
going to do my little podcast. I'm going to do
1535
01:01:53.739 --> 01:01:58.780
my little travel show for HBO Max. I hope they
1536
01:01:58.800 --> 01:02:00.679
always call it HBO Max and don't start messing with
1537
01:02:00.719 --> 01:02:05.690
the name. Uh-oh. And then... Everything, you know, that was it.
1538
01:02:06.909 --> 01:02:09.909
And I'll work on my body at the request of everyone.
1539
01:02:10.340 --> 01:02:12.030
And then this body.
1540
01:02:12.449 --> 01:02:12.679
What?
1541
01:02:12.929 --> 01:02:15.099
Well, people said you've got to fix that body. That
1542
01:02:15.139 --> 01:02:16.519
was the big thing I heard. I don't like the
1543
01:02:16.539 --> 01:02:17.820
way you worded it. It's weird.
1544
01:02:18.280 --> 01:02:18.639
Body.
1545
01:02:19.019 --> 01:02:23.199
Anyway, now we're doing this podcast and it keeps growing
1546
01:02:23.699 --> 01:02:25.519
and people started to say things like we should do
1547
01:02:25.559 --> 01:02:27.760
some in front of an audience. And if there's an audience,
1548
01:02:27.820 --> 01:02:29.860
we should have Jimmy Vino there and some band and
1549
01:02:30.119 --> 01:02:31.860
other people in the band. It'd be really funny if
1550
01:02:31.900 --> 01:02:33.920
you came out first and warmed up the crowd. Now
1551
01:02:34.460 --> 01:02:36.539
you should do a monologue and then call out the
1552
01:02:36.559 --> 01:02:40.320
other guys and do the podcast. Hey, it'd be really
1553
01:02:40.340 --> 01:02:42.610
good if we put this up on YouTube. And now
1554
01:02:42.650 --> 01:02:44.289
people are telling me, I love your show. And I'm like,
1555
01:02:44.309 --> 01:02:47.829
it's not a show. It's a little podcast, but it
1556
01:02:47.869 --> 01:02:50.929
doesn't matter to me. It's fun. It's organic. We're having
1557
01:02:50.949 --> 01:02:55.219
a blast. I'm not asking, I'm telling you. Yeah. It's
1558
01:02:55.280 --> 01:02:59.719
really enjoyable. And all joking aside, you're not going to
1559
01:02:59.760 --> 01:03:03.539
like this, but we have a secret sauce here with
1560
01:03:03.760 --> 01:03:07.480
you guys. It's a really nice environment. I never know
1561
01:03:07.500 --> 01:03:10.300
what's going to happen. I'd be miserable if I was
1562
01:03:10.340 --> 01:03:13.880
here alone. And you guys are really funny. And this
1563
01:03:13.960 --> 01:03:15.639
is lovely. I'm having a really good time. I'll drink
1564
01:03:15.679 --> 01:03:17.909
some urine to that. Yeah. That's very nice of you
1565
01:03:17.929 --> 01:03:19.840
to say. Thank you. It's all led by you, boss.
1566
01:03:19.860 --> 01:03:20.239
There you go.
1567
01:03:21.619 --> 01:03:22.739
Oh, man.
1568
01:03:22.840 --> 01:03:25.309
You ruined it. You shouldn't have handed it back to me.
1569
01:03:25.429 --> 01:03:28.030
I know, but you were being sincere, so I was
1570
01:03:28.090 --> 01:03:29.849
sincere back to you. I was so sincere to get
1571
01:03:29.869 --> 01:03:31.690
you to hand it back to me. Yes, I lead
1572
01:03:31.710 --> 01:03:33.789
the way and it would never happen without me. Well,
1573
01:03:34.130 --> 01:03:35.909
that's it for the state of the show. Adam, this
1574
01:03:35.949 --> 01:03:38.190
has been a good pep talk. Thank you. And also,
1575
01:03:38.570 --> 01:03:42.010
thank you to Adam. Yeah, thank you. His leadership, his
1576
01:03:42.329 --> 01:03:46.269
common sense. Of course, Eduardo, always there working the knobs,
1577
01:03:46.789 --> 01:03:50.409
guiding us at the helm of taking care of us
1578
01:03:50.510 --> 01:03:53.190
blaze shouting into the microphone things we don't need to
1579
01:03:53.250 --> 01:03:57.300
hear um uh just what a lovely lovely it's a
1580
01:03:57.400 --> 01:04:00.280
fun group it's a fun group it's a highlight of
1581
01:04:00.320 --> 01:04:01.639
my day every day it's.
1582
01:04:01.579 --> 01:04:04.099
Did did you hear anything about the advertisers mad that
1583
01:04:04.119 --> 01:04:06.039
we talk still a lot about like a lot of
1584
01:04:06.059 --> 01:04:07.119
jizz and stuff.
1585
01:04:07.039 --> 01:04:09.340
Like they don't mind they don't mind no they don't
1586
01:04:09.360 --> 01:04:11.949
mind now we're getting yeah now we're getting uh jizz
1587
01:04:12.030 --> 01:04:13.210
only i was.
1588
01:04:12.829 --> 01:04:15.469
Gonna say your sponsorship is jizz monthly yeah yeah it's
1589
01:04:15.630 --> 01:04:17.590
appropriate The magazine?
1590
01:04:17.610 --> 01:04:20.170
The jizzinator. If you shot some jizz and you don't
1591
01:04:20.190 --> 01:04:22.460
know where it is, use the jizzinator. We won the
1592
01:04:22.500 --> 01:04:26.840
jizzy for best podcast. We won the jizzy. And you
1593
01:04:26.880 --> 01:04:30.119
beat Jizz Taylor. Yeah, yeah. And we've been invited to
1594
01:04:30.159 --> 01:04:34.119
New Orleans Jizz Fest. And trust me, you gotta wear
1595
01:04:34.159 --> 01:04:37.690
a raincoat to that thing. Stay out of the podcast.
1596
01:04:37.730 --> 01:04:38.690
Stronger than ever.
1597
01:04:42.800 --> 01:04:46.570
Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian,
1598
01:04:46.829 --> 01:04:50.949
and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced
1599
01:04:50.989 --> 01:04:54.719
by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song
1600
01:04:54.739 --> 01:04:58.039
by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.
1601
01:04:58.619 --> 01:04:59.480
Take it away, Jimmy.
1602
01:05:03.119 --> 01:05:06.289
Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair. And our associate talent
1603
01:05:06.309 --> 01:05:10.030
producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez
1604
01:05:10.110 --> 01:05:14.070
and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent
1605
01:05:14.090 --> 01:05:17.300
booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn. You
1606
01:05:17.320 --> 01:05:19.880
can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and
1607
01:05:19.920 --> 01:05:22.420
you might find your review read on a future episode.
1608
01:05:22.820 --> 01:05:25.539
Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline
1609
01:05:25.579 --> 01:05:29.309
at 669-587-2847 and leave a message.
1610
01:05:29.630 --> 01:05:31.610
It too could be featured on a future episode.
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01:05:31.849 --> 01:05:34.530
You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when
1612
01:05:34.570 --> 01:05:38.500
you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. And if you
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01:05:38.519 --> 01:05:41.559
haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend
1614
01:05:41.619 --> 01:05:43.900
wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
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01:05:50.780 --> 01:05:53.300
Don't miss out on Cash & Carry Kitchens' free fitting
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can save hundreds of euro on all our kitchens. Any style,
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any colour, any size. The choice is yours, but the
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fitting is on us. For free fitting on all our kitchens,
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of our 17 showrooms nationwide. Cash & Carry Kitchens. Create
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Hello, my name is Matthew Rees. And I feel ashamed
19
00:01:12.180 --> 00:01:13.719
about being Conan O'Brien's friend.
20
00:01:13.780 --> 00:01:15.680
Finally! An honest answer.
21
00:01:15.859 --> 00:01:18.620
Oh God, that felt good. I feel unburdened and light.
22
00:01:21.640 --> 00:01:22.599
Hey there.
23
00:01:22.640 --> 00:01:27.400
Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. I put a little.
24
00:01:26.780 --> 00:01:30.209
Pause between Conan O'Brien and Needs a Friend.
25
00:01:30.549 --> 00:01:33.299
Kind of a dramatic....
26
00:01:49.219 --> 00:01:51.049
You know what makes it really dramatic is explaining it.
27
00:01:54.620 --> 00:01:57.280
I guess I had that coming. And you're fired. Okay.
28
00:01:57.319 --> 00:02:00.140
Fair enough. Sona, Matt, how you guys doing? Good. How
29
00:02:00.170 --> 00:02:02.670
are you? I'm doing okay. Just a little bit of
30
00:02:02.689 --> 00:02:03.329
a follow-up.
31
00:02:03.569 --> 00:02:03.730
Yeah.
32
00:02:03.989 --> 00:02:08.370
The nation's gripped because recently I talked about my trip
33
00:02:08.830 --> 00:02:12.250
to the eye doctor. Sona Movsesian took me there, filling
34
00:02:12.289 --> 00:02:16.659
in for David Hopping, who went to a Midwestern wedding. Again,
35
00:02:16.680 --> 00:02:18.120
way too much backstories.
36
00:02:18.490 --> 00:02:20.659
Can I just say this is like a third installment
37
00:02:20.719 --> 00:02:22.580
in the ongoing saga of your eye.
38
00:02:22.780 --> 00:02:25.759
I say saga. I never say saga. Yeah, saga is weird.
39
00:02:25.879 --> 00:02:27.500
I've never heard saga. What the hell was that? And
40
00:02:27.520 --> 00:02:28.900
by the way, it was Bob's saga.
41
00:02:29.099 --> 00:02:29.439
Okay.
42
00:02:30.639 --> 00:02:31.740
Yeah.
43
00:02:31.840 --> 00:02:35.169
Because you guys are right, and that's probably worth stopping for,
44
00:02:35.189 --> 00:02:36.449
and you're not assholes.
45
00:02:37.870 --> 00:02:41.590
You're checking every box right now. Not assholes worth stopping for.
46
00:02:41.689 --> 00:02:43.110
I don't know why I still work here.
47
00:02:43.389 --> 00:02:44.270
No, I don't either.
48
00:02:44.409 --> 00:02:46.340
But I was going to say in the saga.
49
00:02:46.629 --> 00:02:46.900
Uh-huh.
50
00:02:47.300 --> 00:02:50.060
That it started with your eye postural leaning on the mic,
51
00:02:50.099 --> 00:02:52.919
then your visit to the optometrist to do bits where
52
00:02:52.939 --> 00:02:53.719
you stayed for hours.
53
00:02:53.780 --> 00:02:55.340
And then now there's another installment. I did so many
54
00:02:55.370 --> 00:02:55.750
great bits.
55
00:02:55.870 --> 00:02:56.789
You do so many bits.
56
00:02:56.830 --> 00:03:00.289
In that waiting room. Here's the thing. You know, I
57
00:03:00.330 --> 00:03:03.310
have prescription glasses and they needed to make them a
58
00:03:03.330 --> 00:03:08.240
little stronger, but everything's fine. Are my eyes leaking a bit?
59
00:03:08.419 --> 00:03:12.340
Sure they are. Just they're dry. What are you even
60
00:03:12.400 --> 00:03:13.479
looking at right now?
61
00:03:13.520 --> 00:03:15.400
I'm worried about your depth of focus.
62
00:03:16.300 --> 00:03:18.120
What about my mental focus? That's what you should be
63
00:03:18.159 --> 00:03:20.300
worried about because my brain is also leaking. You're saying
64
00:03:20.319 --> 00:03:22.039
it like, are my eyes leaking?
65
00:03:22.180 --> 00:03:22.560
Sure.
66
00:03:22.680 --> 00:03:26.219
Sure they are. That's not normal. Oh, please. Ocular jelly
67
00:03:26.300 --> 00:03:30.750
is oozing everywhere. No, and so it's very common for
68
00:03:30.780 --> 00:03:33.349
people with my talent. It's just too much talent. And
69
00:03:33.889 --> 00:03:36.930
this is how sometimes the eyes reject the talent. It's
70
00:03:37.069 --> 00:03:40.210
seeping out of you? Is that your talent? Yeah, the eyes,
71
00:03:40.349 --> 00:03:41.949
it's like, is there going to be room for eyes
72
00:03:42.009 --> 00:03:43.789
or talent? And I always hang on to the talent. Yeah,
73
00:03:43.810 --> 00:03:46.370
you and Iron Eyes Cody, the two great wits of
74
00:03:46.509 --> 00:03:49.389
all time. So, worked with Iron Eyes Cody, but that's
75
00:03:49.430 --> 00:03:52.939
a whole other story. Anyway, back to the main story.
76
00:03:53.560 --> 00:03:56.099
They give me the drops I'm going to use. Everything's fine.
77
00:03:56.159 --> 00:03:58.939
Me peepers are fine. It's all good. And who needs
78
00:03:58.960 --> 00:04:03.090
eye jelly anyway, I always say. So I'm about to
79
00:04:03.120 --> 00:04:05.169
leave and this woman said, hey, Conan, have you ever
80
00:04:05.189 --> 00:04:08.289
thought of contact lenses? And I said, you know, I've never,
81
00:04:08.469 --> 00:04:11.669
ever used contact lenses. My distance is fine. I just
82
00:04:11.710 --> 00:04:13.789
mean pretty much for reading. I need a little correction
83
00:04:13.810 --> 00:04:15.879
with distance, but really not much at all. And she said,
84
00:04:15.909 --> 00:04:17.920
you know, Once you get used to them, they're really
85
00:04:17.959 --> 00:04:20.660
handy and you wouldn't have to carry glasses around because
86
00:04:20.699 --> 00:04:22.990
you can forget them. And where'd they go? And did
87
00:04:23.000 --> 00:04:25.649
someone steal them? And let's put out a warrant. So
88
00:04:25.670 --> 00:04:28.529
I said, oh, well, sure. And she said, yeah, they're
89
00:04:28.569 --> 00:04:30.990
so thin now. They really work great. And she brought
90
00:04:31.009 --> 00:04:32.610
in some contacts and she said, I'll show you how
91
00:04:32.649 --> 00:04:35.110
to pop them in and pop them off. And I went, great.
92
00:04:35.449 --> 00:04:41.389
Cut to a montage that lasts about 55 minutes. not
93
00:04:41.410 --> 00:04:44.170
that I was timing it or anything, with Sona in
94
00:04:44.209 --> 00:04:48.139
the waiting room. And the woman's saying, no, no, you just,
95
00:04:48.240 --> 00:04:52.699
you just, and me holding my eyes open and trying
96
00:04:52.740 --> 00:04:54.959
to jab it in there. But I'm, you know, I've
97
00:04:55.360 --> 00:04:58.899
got fluttery eyelids that are like, and I've never liked
98
00:04:58.930 --> 00:05:01.170
people getting near my eyes. And she said, men are
99
00:05:01.209 --> 00:05:03.569
more prone to that than women. We just, and I've
100
00:05:03.610 --> 00:05:05.449
noticed it in the makeup chair forever. Whenever people get
101
00:05:05.470 --> 00:05:09.550
near my eyes, I grip the handles of the chair
102
00:05:09.569 --> 00:05:12.670
and I could crush them. I'm just so freaked out
103
00:05:12.689 --> 00:05:15.970
by people going near my eyes. I kept trying and
104
00:05:16.009 --> 00:05:19.629
kept trying and failing and saying, and I came up
105
00:05:19.670 --> 00:05:23.899
against something I just couldn't do. And I'm not used
106
00:05:23.980 --> 00:05:28.500
to that. I'm not bragging. I'm a bad athlete and
107
00:05:28.519 --> 00:05:30.579
there's a million things I can't do. But this, I
108
00:05:30.600 --> 00:05:32.480
just thought, oh, I'll be able to do this. And
109
00:05:32.699 --> 00:05:37.660
I couldn't do it. And when I was done, my eyes,
110
00:05:37.779 --> 00:05:40.579
both my eyes were so red. Did you get them in?
111
00:05:41.339 --> 00:05:43.839
I got them in and then it was time to
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get them out. That was a whole process. I, of course,
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doubled down on, I don't even know that I want contacts,
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but I am not losing this battle. So I'm not
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wearing them now because I wanted to get my eyes out.
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They said, keep your eyes on rest for a couple
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of days because it looks like I went seven rounds
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with the champ. I came out of there. You saw
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my eyes. You looked really stoned.
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Yeah.
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You did.
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You had like a glazed over look. It looked really stoned.
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Yeah.
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You were really having struggle. My eyes were so red
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and I couldn't believe this is something people do all
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the time. Have you ever worn contacts?
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That's funny you should say that because I used to
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wear contacts. I hated them. And when I went for
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the first time to try them on, the optometrist was
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trying over and over to get them in my eyes.
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And he finally put them down. He sighed and he went,
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I don't know how to say this, but you have
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abnormally strong eyelids.
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Yeah.
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What?
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You know what? That's the strength I have is eyelids
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and not like biceps. But when your wife saw you
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on the beach, she was like, gee. When I winked
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at her. You've got strong eyelids there, mister.
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But I have astigmatisms and I just can't handle them.
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They dry my eyes out. I don't like them.
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I do too. So does Conan.
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He has an astigmatism too.
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Check us out. So did you?
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We're cool.
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But Sona, you got used to it.
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And I wonder if me saying that— There's.
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A microphone right in front of you, Merrill.
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Oh, my God.
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You were doing an announcement on a cruise ship in
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a storm.
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Oh, my God.
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You were telling people to get back into their cabins.
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You asked the lady a question.
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I know, but she started to do this. I'm channeling
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my rage. Eduardo, be fair. I'm channeling my rage. Eduardo,
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be fair. You don't have to answer. You can plead
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the fifth. I'm channeling my rage.
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I'm taking deep breaths, and I'm channeling.
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It right now. Okay, go ahead. Tell your story.
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Give it to them. Don't share them.
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I wonder if me telling you that I was able
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to do it when I was 12 may have contributed
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to you getting more kind of like, well, I can
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do it too. Because I kept saying I did this
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when I was, I've been wearing contacts since I was 12.
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A girl of 12 can wear contacts and you can't
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do it.
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You know, I, first of all, I'm an ally. Of
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all women. And I empower you and I'm happy for you.
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What's that? This is awful. What did you say? Well,
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I want to say that I've worn contacts.
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Now, Billy, you can't back off the mic.
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I've worn contacts, but Eduardo has a very special contact
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situation that I think might... Is this going to prove
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helpful to Conan? Possibly.
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Maybe.
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I think you guys are all wusses.
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Yeah. I do want advice. I do want advice. And also,
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I'm telling you this. David Hopping told me that his
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mother teaches people how to put contact lenses in and out. Yes, seriously.
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And I'm going to have a Zoom with her, but
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what is your advice?
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So I wear Scolero lenses, which are the- Brag. Yeah,
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so it's a very specific type of contact lens.
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Is this a company owned by former judge Scalia? How
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did you know? No, it's for- I use Ginsbergos.
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But I have to use this.
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I hate you.
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I hate you so much.
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That was good.
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I hate you so much. Look at me. Look at me.
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I wish we could do a thing where I pull
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a string and confetti comes down on me. And I
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would do this.
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Fair is fair.
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He was wrong to assault you, but that was funny.
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That was funny.
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I have a plunger that I have to use to
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take out my.
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That's the plunger. And you're calling us wussies?
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Are they hard?
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I have to take it out with this because there are...
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rigid gas permeable lenses that I have to wear.
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That's a man.
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Also, so you have a little plunger. That's a man.
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You use a little plunger for your eyes.
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For my contacts.
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And occasionally for a mouse's toilet.
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Every now and.
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Then, Eduardo is sitting reading a paper at home, and
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he hears. What's that, little fella? Oh, really, huh? Well,
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that's embarrassing, and you have guests coming? I'll take care
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of it.
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You're welcome, buddy, anytime.
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Just wash it. Oh my God. Oh my God. Happiness everywhere. Anyway,
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I don't know. It's just one of those things I
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don't like to walk away from something. And so I'm
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going to double down on this.
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You famously have said that you'll do anything in the
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name of comedy. So I think if you think of
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it in terms of you got.
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To be funny.
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Have Liza film you.
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Bring him in and we'll do it here on the podcast. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Okay.
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I'll do it. Why don't we compete?
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We'll have some cases because you get very competitive.
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Yeah, we could compete.
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Sure.
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I'll do whatever I'm told to do.
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All right, you guys.
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Onward and sideways. My guest today won an Emmy for
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his portrayal of Russian spy Philip Jennings in the FX
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series The Americans. He now stars in the new Netflix
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series The Beast in Me. I love this fellow. Matthew Rhys, welcome.
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I'm going to come right out with it.
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Oh, God.
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I developed an insane man crush on you. The first
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time you were on the podcast, it was, I believe,
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during the pandemic.
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It was.
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And you were virtual. And I thought, I like this
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chap enormously. And I was a big fan of your work.
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Then you came in and did it in person, and
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my heart's been fluttering ever since.
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Oh, stop your giddy Irish ways.
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Keep going. I can't.
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No, go on, go on.
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It's literally, oh, stop, but go on.
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Yes, always.
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So many confusing signals.
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I know.
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You are an absolute delight. You're an imp.
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Yes.
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You omitted the CH before that, didn't you?
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You are a Welsh leprechaun, if there is such a thing.
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Is there an equivalent in Wales of the leprechaun?
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We're called weprechauns. Yes. Okay, they have weapons. Weaponized leprechauns.
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So I just, I was like, oh my God, I
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want to just go hang out with this man.
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Let's do it.
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And I had, not just yet. Let's do this first.
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And then we can monetize it. And then you and
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I will hang out and we'll spend the profits.
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Okay.
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But I'm going to tell you a quick secret, which
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is that you were talking about a boat that you
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had purchased that you had fixed up yourself.
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Yes.
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And you were floating this boat around the Hudson River? Yes.
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The East River?
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The East and the Hudson and the harbor of New York.
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And you were driving it around.
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Yes.
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And so I was intrigued, so intrigued by our conversation
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that I looked up a photo of you and your boat.
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Yeah.
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And I thought, well, that's a handsome looking boat. And
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then I start doing a deep dive on the boat
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and up popped a model. a replica of that same
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type of boat popped up. And I said, I'm going
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to get that from my man crush, eat your heart out, Oliphant,
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Matthew Rhys. And so it popped up and I said,
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I'm going to get it. And then I hit on
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the screen. It's quite expensive. Oh, yes. And suddenly I
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lost my tumescence for this boat. But part of me
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is thinking, I've got to scrape up the money and
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get you this model. It's a model of the boat
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that you have. And I feel like Adam, we have
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to scrape up the funds to make this happen. He's
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giving the thumbs up, and you'll pay for it. I'm
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asking him, there's no microphone on him. You'll pay for it,
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and that's a nod, yes. Good. I'll get this for you.
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No, no, surely we can start some kind of Kickstarter now.
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A GoFundMe that begins right now.
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Can I tell you something?
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Yes.
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People love it. When celebrities start a Kickstarter for a
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childish amusement that they will keep for themselves.
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Yes, especially men, because they will relate to it. They said,
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he needs that model. It's the model we've all deserved.
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It checks a box within our emotional hearts.
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I want to connect with you, and I'm going to
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start by saying, I adore your work, but Wales. Let's
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start with Wales, because that's the secret to cracking this gentleman, Wales.
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You are Welsh through and through.
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I am.
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And there's so much that I don't know about whales.
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Yes.
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I really don't because it's a mystery to me. I
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know that you don't use any vowels when you write something.
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They were outlawed by the English in 1282.
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They stole your vowels.
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Yes.
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Take their vowels. That'll learn them.
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Yes.
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They'll drown in their own spit.
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Absolutely. I know that it's very important to you and
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the Welsh language is very important to you.
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It is.
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Now, I did a travel show recently and I went
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to Ireland and I appeared on a show where they only,
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it's a soap opera where they only speak Irish. Yes.
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And all my lines were in Irish. It was very difficult.
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Yes.
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Is the Welsh language more difficult? Then Irish, is it
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similar at all? Help me.
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I would say it's akin in many ways in its
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difficulty level as to learning. Ironically, for two Celtic languages,
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they're very different. Welsh is far more similar to Breton
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in northern France and Manx in the Isle of Man.
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If you see those languages, Cornish as well, you can
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see the similarities with the Scots and the Irish.
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They share that similarity.
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But with regards to kind of hard, guttural sounds, I
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think we're right there with the Irish.
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Yes, it sounds like someone has thrown silverware down some
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stone steps when you guys speak.
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It's just.
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I'll be taking that one home.
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Yeah, that's yours.
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Thank you.
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And I'll get you the model. And this, it is
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important to you that Welsh is spoken in your home occasionally,
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is that right? You're trying to teach it to some
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of the children?
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I am, I am, with varying degrees of success.
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But, you know, Kerry and I have a nine-year-old son
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and I spoke to him purely in Welsh from the
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moment he was born and continue to do so.
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Really? How's he doing at school?
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Not very well.
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Not very well. Yes, his friends bring umbrellas and raincoats.
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He's been held back 15 times. Yes, which is hard
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to do for a nine-year-old. It is, but he's managed it.
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He's now at the point, and it kind of kills
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me a bit, but obviously as conversations become more involved
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and more complicated, and I realize if you haven't introduced
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more complex Welsh words.
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early on.
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Now, you know, when I speak to him and I
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bring in a complex Welsh word, he'll just say, oh,
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just say it.
364
00:16:07.049 --> 00:16:07.789
In mama's language.
365
00:16:08.129 --> 00:16:08.409
Yes.
366
00:16:08.590 --> 00:16:09.980
And I go, oh, rats.
367
00:16:10.139 --> 00:16:13.320
So I feel the beginnings of starting to lose him,
368
00:16:13.340 --> 00:16:16.080
which sort of breaks my heart. But not lose him.
369
00:16:16.120 --> 00:16:17.779
Lose him maybe for now. I know it'll peak and
370
00:16:17.799 --> 00:16:20.480
trough and ebb and flow, my hope is. Well, that's
371
00:16:20.500 --> 00:16:22.090
what I'm threatening him with, you know.
372
00:16:22.259 --> 00:16:24.149
As long as you're threatening your child, good things will come.
373
00:16:24.309 --> 00:16:25.029
That's what I've said.
374
00:16:25.330 --> 00:16:28.610
I've monetized it and I've threatened college with it and
375
00:16:28.669 --> 00:16:31.649
all kinds of toys in between. Christmas can be canceled
376
00:16:31.690 --> 00:16:33.669
at the cancellation of Welsh.
377
00:16:33.929 --> 00:16:36.909
And I'm curious, first of all, oh, you mentioned Christmas.
378
00:16:37.970 --> 00:16:43.750
Christmas in Wales, one of the great poems of all time.
379
00:16:43.850 --> 00:16:47.389
And so occasionally I fantasize about what would it be
380
00:16:47.500 --> 00:16:51.039
like to have Christmas in Wales? Is it as romantic
381
00:16:51.100 --> 00:16:53.720
as I think it is or is, no, the reality
382
00:16:53.879 --> 00:16:56.139
is everyone just goes to Walmart and gets a Christmas
383
00:16:56.179 --> 00:16:57.139
tree like we do here?
384
00:16:57.299 --> 00:16:57.960
Yes, of course.
385
00:16:58.120 --> 00:17:02.830
And, you know, you know, excessive drinking and kind of shouting, mainly.
386
00:17:02.850 --> 00:17:05.079
And then no one can remember what happened on Christmas Day.
387
00:17:05.089 --> 00:17:07.150
Is it true that your Santa is a terrible alcoholic?
388
00:17:07.190 --> 00:17:07.710
Yeah, well, it is.
389
00:17:07.730 --> 00:17:10.359
A raging one. A raging one. But it makes for
390
00:17:10.420 --> 00:17:11.859
great frivolity on the rooftops.
391
00:17:12.200 --> 00:17:12.519
Yes.
392
00:17:13.680 --> 00:17:16.079
But apparently there's only one Welsh Santa because all the
393
00:17:16.099 --> 00:17:18.019
other Santas refuse to do Wales because.
394
00:17:18.039 --> 00:17:19.940
You know, it was... They won't go there. No, they
395
00:17:19.960 --> 00:17:21.619
were like, give it to that drunken fool.
396
00:17:21.920 --> 00:17:22.980
Yes, that imp.
397
00:17:23.019 --> 00:17:24.200
Yeah, it doesn't even have.
398
00:17:24.420 --> 00:17:27.049
He lost his naughty and nice list a long time ago.
399
00:17:27.069 --> 00:17:30.019
He doesn't know... You, you scoundrel, you'll get nothing.
400
00:17:30.039 --> 00:17:31.059
I was quite good.
401
00:17:31.440 --> 00:17:32.240
I was quite good.
402
00:17:32.339 --> 00:17:34.640
Only the irony is if you're given coal in Wales,
403
00:17:35.039 --> 00:17:39.500
kids are overjoyed. They're like, oh, look what I got.
404
00:17:39.519 --> 00:17:41.200
Shut that up, you assholes, England.
405
00:17:41.460 --> 00:17:41.700
Yes.
406
00:17:42.200 --> 00:17:44.529
We'll have a warm Christmas after all. Yes, aha, let's
407
00:17:44.549 --> 00:17:47.569
cook on this. You know, it's so funny. My first
408
00:17:47.730 --> 00:17:53.150
introduction to you really was your role in the spectacular
409
00:17:53.190 --> 00:17:54.869
TV show, The Americans.
410
00:17:54.890 --> 00:17:55.549
Yes.
411
00:17:56.279 --> 00:17:59.569
When I first spoke to you on the podcast, it
412
00:17:59.609 --> 00:18:03.029
was unsettling because, I mean, the sense I get is
413
00:18:03.130 --> 00:18:06.289
that anyone in Britain or the United Kingdom is much
414
00:18:06.349 --> 00:18:09.430
better at doing an American accent than, of course, than
415
00:18:09.490 --> 00:18:13.579
we are at doing anything similar to your accent.
416
00:18:13.720 --> 00:18:15.700
Well, it is an accent.
417
00:18:15.720 --> 00:18:16.460
It's a terrible accent.
418
00:18:16.480 --> 00:18:18.380
Believe me, by the grace of God, go I. But
419
00:18:18.680 --> 00:18:22.579
a happy accent, I will gladly admit to. But I do,
420
00:18:22.640 --> 00:18:24.660
and I know if I said this last time, I
421
00:18:25.329 --> 00:18:27.940
do believe that the amount of American television we grew
422
00:18:28.000 --> 00:18:31.009
up watching and as young kids going out into the
423
00:18:31.029 --> 00:18:33.980
yard to play Starsky and Hutch or The A-Team or
424
00:18:34.059 --> 00:18:36.599
Airwolf or any of those, you know, as kids growing up. Whereas,
425
00:18:37.009 --> 00:18:39.150
Kids in America don't go out to the schoolyard to
426
00:18:39.170 --> 00:18:41.309
play Downton Abbey, which is seemingly the only thing.
427
00:18:41.509 --> 00:18:43.690
I did. Well, yes, of course. I was taunted and beaten.
428
00:18:43.710 --> 00:18:45.349
You were like, fetch me another pheasant, boy.
429
00:18:45.450 --> 00:18:46.670
Yes.
430
00:18:48.380 --> 00:18:51.660
I used to always want to play Scrooge, you know. Yes, yes. You, boy,
431
00:18:51.720 --> 00:18:54.720
fetch me the goose in the window. I must have it.
432
00:18:54.759 --> 00:18:56.680
Yes. I'm not playing Tiny Tim again.
433
00:18:58.690 --> 00:19:01.440
Yeah, I was beaten roundly by everyone in my neighborhood.
434
00:19:01.720 --> 00:19:04.400
But I found this over the years that when I
435
00:19:04.420 --> 00:19:08.119
would talk to anyone who was from England, Scotland, Wales,
436
00:19:08.779 --> 00:19:11.680
they just have such a great storytelling custom that it
437
00:19:11.700 --> 00:19:12.970
was always a fun interview.
438
00:19:13.069 --> 00:19:13.609
Yeah, yes.
439
00:19:13.710 --> 00:19:18.829
Well, I think the Celts do, we viciously and proudly say,
440
00:19:20.069 --> 00:19:23.230
the oral storytelling tradition handed down from the mists of
441
00:19:23.279 --> 00:19:25.619
time is still you know, is now the modern day
442
00:19:25.660 --> 00:19:29.599
pub raconteur. And that's who we've remained to be. I
443
00:19:30.099 --> 00:19:32.140
just want to go back. You know, Dylan Thomas sold
444
00:19:32.180 --> 00:19:34.529
the rights to A Child's Christmas in Wales to an
445
00:19:34.609 --> 00:19:37.869
inordinate amount of people as he was rampaging around New York.
446
00:19:38.309 --> 00:19:40.789
He was just saying, I have this wonderful little story.
447
00:19:40.869 --> 00:19:42.549
I should like to sell you the rights. And they
448
00:19:42.569 --> 00:19:43.109
were like, oh, great.
449
00:19:43.130 --> 00:19:43.289
Yes.
450
00:19:43.529 --> 00:19:46.789
Harper's Bazaar bought it. Everyone bought the rights He sold
451
00:19:46.829 --> 00:19:49.170
it like 800 times. 800 times, which I thought was
452
00:19:49.210 --> 00:19:51.990
one of the greatest grifts of all time. In the
453
00:19:52.039 --> 00:19:55.539
time of kind of pre-computer madness.
454
00:19:55.559 --> 00:19:59.740
And famously, he passed in a pub, I think.
455
00:19:59.759 --> 00:20:00.319
He collapsed.
456
00:20:00.380 --> 00:20:00.859
Downtown.
457
00:20:00.880 --> 00:20:03.319
He collapsed downtown right here, outside the White Horse.
458
00:20:03.359 --> 00:20:04.039
Yes, the White Horse.
459
00:20:04.099 --> 00:20:05.380
And then passed at St. Vincent's.
460
00:20:05.420 --> 00:20:05.539
Yeah.
461
00:20:05.559 --> 00:20:09.400
Yeah. And I don't know if the White Horse celebrates that.
462
00:20:11.259 --> 00:20:15.500
A famous poet died or got sick here and died.
463
00:20:16.160 --> 00:20:18.210
Not many restaurants or pubs want that known.
464
00:20:18.269 --> 00:20:19.160
No, all can say it.
465
00:20:19.190 --> 00:20:22.990
He's also on the mural at, it's not Minetta Tavern,
466
00:20:23.190 --> 00:20:25.430
it's the Waverley Inn. He's on the wall there as well.
467
00:20:25.450 --> 00:20:29.069
But he's heavily... He's still heavily pictured at the White Horse.
468
00:20:29.130 --> 00:20:31.210
It's worth a quiet pint of Guinness on that.
469
00:20:31.230 --> 00:20:32.480
They made a lot of money off of him, I suppose.
470
00:20:32.519 --> 00:20:33.000
They did.
471
00:20:33.099 --> 00:20:34.819
Yeah, there's still a lot of Welsh tourists who pay
472
00:20:34.839 --> 00:20:37.819
the pilgrimage, who make the homage and the pilgrimage there.
473
00:20:38.160 --> 00:20:41.500
When you belly up to a bar, what is your lager?
474
00:20:41.519 --> 00:20:42.900
What is your pint? What do you like to have?
475
00:20:42.960 --> 00:20:44.980
Now, that depends exactly on the time of day and
476
00:20:45.339 --> 00:20:47.059
the time of year.
477
00:20:47.059 --> 00:20:50.470
3.30 October, late October. It's 3.30 in the afternoon.
478
00:20:50.529 --> 00:20:50.789
Guinness.
479
00:20:50.849 --> 00:20:51.589
It's a light rain.
480
00:20:51.730 --> 00:20:52.049
Guinness?
481
00:20:52.069 --> 00:20:52.990
Guinness. Incredible.
482
00:20:53.150 --> 00:20:54.930
I love a Guinness. Yes. I love a Guinness.
483
00:20:55.069 --> 00:20:56.309
How much did you get through an island?
484
00:20:56.990 --> 00:20:58.509
Um, I did pretty well.
485
00:20:58.589 --> 00:20:59.349
Yeah.
486
00:20:59.369 --> 00:21:01.890
I love a Guinness and it does taste better in Ireland.
487
00:21:01.970 --> 00:21:02.420
I totally agree.
488
00:21:02.460 --> 00:21:03.019
I will say that.
489
00:21:03.220 --> 00:21:03.839
I totally agree.
490
00:21:14.799 --> 00:21:18.559
Good nights are about the people, the laughs, the real
491
00:21:18.599 --> 00:21:19.720
moments you don't want to miss.
492
00:21:20.200 --> 00:21:21.779
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512
00:22:37.809 --> 00:22:40.150
We're just talking about all things Welsh. I've taken it
513
00:22:40.190 --> 00:22:43.650
upon myself to do probably the Welshest of all Welsh things.
514
00:22:44.390 --> 00:22:46.930
And I'm going to do a one-man play about Richard Burton.
515
00:22:47.049 --> 00:22:48.289
Yes, I know about this.
516
00:22:48.309 --> 00:22:48.750
Oh, you do?
517
00:22:48.950 --> 00:22:50.849
Yes, I do know about this. This is your going
518
00:22:50.869 --> 00:22:54.819
to play. And this is your return to the Welsh stage.
519
00:22:55.359 --> 00:22:56.980
For the first time in how many years? 22.
520
00:22:56.980 --> 00:22:58.349
22 years.
521
00:22:58.380 --> 00:23:01.750
Yeah, yeah. That's got to be a little terrifying.
522
00:23:01.910 --> 00:23:03.890
Now at this point, sorry, I was trying to link
523
00:23:03.930 --> 00:23:06.569
it to the fact about the oral storytelling tradition, but
524
00:23:06.769 --> 00:23:07.430
I wasn't a complete.
525
00:23:07.450 --> 00:23:09.450
And then get us back to Guinness, please.
526
00:23:09.470 --> 00:23:12.619
Well, Burton's the... An easy link back to Guinness.
527
00:23:12.700 --> 00:23:15.559
How are you going to get from Richard Burton to alcohol?
528
00:23:15.680 --> 00:23:16.480
I don't know.
529
00:23:17.059 --> 00:23:18.680
Just give me a moment. He had a friend called
530
00:23:18.700 --> 00:23:22.180
Richard Harris. Yes. You can come back in a week. Yes.
531
00:23:22.279 --> 00:23:22.920
I've cracked it.
532
00:23:23.240 --> 00:23:23.480
Yes.
533
00:23:23.740 --> 00:23:26.819
So, yes, you're going back to the Welsh stage where
534
00:23:26.839 --> 00:23:27.980
you got your start.
535
00:23:28.079 --> 00:23:28.440
You did.
536
00:23:28.740 --> 00:23:29.859
When you were but a wee lad.
537
00:23:29.880 --> 00:23:29.950
Yes.
538
00:23:29.960 --> 00:23:31.519
You're going to go back for the first time in
539
00:23:31.519 --> 00:23:34.029
22 years. What is your greatest fear that they just
540
00:23:34.109 --> 00:23:34.680
stare at you?
541
00:23:34.960 --> 00:23:35.569
There is that.
542
00:23:35.690 --> 00:23:38.950
Well, there's a number of things. I was fortunate to play...
543
00:23:39.289 --> 00:23:41.269
Dylan Thomas once in a film. And I realized when
544
00:23:41.289 --> 00:23:44.450
you go, especially to a place like Wales, where we
545
00:23:44.509 --> 00:23:48.630
have a few but select but incredible icons, Dylan Thomas,
546
00:23:48.690 --> 00:23:51.920
Richard Burton, Shirley Bassey, Sian Phillips, Rachel Roberts, we have
547
00:23:51.960 --> 00:23:57.420
these incredible performers, actors, singers, everything. But the nation itself
548
00:23:57.460 --> 00:24:02.200
has an incredibly personal relationship, an individual personal relationship with
549
00:24:02.269 --> 00:24:07.130
that icon. So your take on Dylan Thomas is wildly
550
00:24:07.170 --> 00:24:08.369
different from what everyone else.
551
00:24:08.980 --> 00:24:10.660
deems it to be. So a lot of people are like,
552
00:24:11.109 --> 00:24:13.009
I saw you, Dylan Thomas. I don't think you got
553
00:24:13.049 --> 00:24:13.849
it right.
554
00:24:13.910 --> 00:24:14.509
That's right.
555
00:24:14.549 --> 00:24:14.950
Yeah.
556
00:24:15.029 --> 00:24:17.369
And that could be someone driving a bus.
557
00:24:17.710 --> 00:24:19.349
Or my father in this case.
558
00:24:19.369 --> 00:24:21.589
Yes. That's all dad.
559
00:24:21.630 --> 00:24:21.849
Yes.
560
00:24:21.950 --> 00:24:22.970
But he does drive a bus.
561
00:24:23.430 --> 00:24:23.750
Yes.
562
00:24:23.789 --> 00:24:25.650
Which is ironic.
563
00:24:25.809 --> 00:24:29.930
So one of my great fears is that one, I
564
00:24:29.950 --> 00:24:33.349
have this thing where I think all the people who
565
00:24:33.410 --> 00:24:35.869
bought tickets are going to go, who does he think
566
00:24:35.910 --> 00:24:38.589
he is that he can play Richard Burton? Now that
567
00:24:38.690 --> 00:24:40.730
is a great, I would say Welsh, I would go
568
00:24:40.769 --> 00:24:43.289
as far as to say Celtic affliction as to who
569
00:24:43.309 --> 00:24:44.329
do you think you are syndrome.
570
00:24:44.390 --> 00:24:45.130
Oh my God, yes.
571
00:24:45.230 --> 00:24:47.529
I mean, if that was an Olympic sport, we would
572
00:24:47.609 --> 00:24:48.970
podium every time.
573
00:24:49.599 --> 00:24:50.470
So there is that.
574
00:24:50.970 --> 00:24:53.140
Then there is the secondary version or level to that
575
00:24:53.180 --> 00:24:54.890
which you go, when you do it, they go, Well,
576
00:24:54.910 --> 00:24:55.829
that wasn't Richard Burton.
577
00:24:56.089 --> 00:24:58.170
That wasn't Richard Burton at all. And also.
578
00:24:58.269 --> 00:25:00.710
I knew Richard Burton. Yes. We were in school together.
579
00:25:00.819 --> 00:25:01.099
Yes.
580
00:25:01.200 --> 00:25:03.859
That's the problem is you're rubbing shoulders with people. You're
581
00:25:03.880 --> 00:25:08.720
performing for people who have a personal, very strong connection
582
00:25:08.759 --> 00:25:08.980
with this.
583
00:25:09.059 --> 00:25:10.539
This is what I've done to myself.
584
00:25:10.829 --> 00:25:14.329
The final performance of the tour is in the chapel
585
00:25:14.670 --> 00:25:17.950
that Richard Burton attended. It'll be live streamed to the
586
00:25:18.009 --> 00:25:20.750
Miner's Arms, which is the pub that he and his
587
00:25:20.769 --> 00:25:23.509
family drank in. And his family have been invited to
588
00:25:23.549 --> 00:25:24.970
the chapel to watch the final performance.
589
00:25:24.990 --> 00:25:25.490
Oh, my God.
590
00:25:25.589 --> 00:25:27.170
I think they've made it the final performance, so I
591
00:25:27.210 --> 00:25:30.190
can literally fall on my sword at the curtain call
592
00:25:30.529 --> 00:25:31.470
with an apology.
593
00:25:31.490 --> 00:25:33.210
I say, sorry, Jenkins.
594
00:25:34.019 --> 00:25:34.339
Yes.
595
00:25:35.579 --> 00:25:36.299
You know, Harry.
596
00:25:36.319 --> 00:25:36.940
Do you know Harry?
597
00:25:36.960 --> 00:25:38.019
Harry Carey is about time.
598
00:25:38.319 --> 00:25:38.599
Yes.
599
00:25:38.720 --> 00:25:41.279
So you are going to get, yeah, I mean, that's
600
00:25:41.319 --> 00:25:43.779
your fear. My money's on you. I'll say that.
601
00:25:43.819 --> 00:25:44.519
Thank you very much.
602
00:25:44.539 --> 00:25:46.980
You are, I think, one of the finest actors alive.
603
00:25:47.160 --> 00:25:49.940
And I think that you will carry it off gloriously.
604
00:25:50.930 --> 00:25:56.420
But I also fear for you terribly. Well, I'm very
605
00:25:56.440 --> 00:26:00.619
excited about another matter involving you, Mr. Reese, if I
606
00:26:00.619 --> 00:26:01.220
can call you Mr.
607
00:26:01.259 --> 00:26:01.480
Reese.
608
00:26:02.099 --> 00:26:02.339
Mrs.
609
00:26:02.460 --> 00:26:03.359
Reese doesn't seem right.
610
00:26:04.319 --> 00:26:04.880
Mysteries.
611
00:26:06.660 --> 00:26:09.109
Histories, mysteries. Oh, that's good. That should be your podcast
612
00:26:09.150 --> 00:26:12.390
where you talk about history that's not true. I am
613
00:26:12.430 --> 00:26:15.930
a massive fan of the historian Mr. Robert Caro. I've
614
00:26:15.970 --> 00:26:18.809
read all of his works. I've interviewed him. I stalked
615
00:26:18.849 --> 00:26:22.710
him for a while. I think he's just a treasure,
616
00:26:22.750 --> 00:26:26.170
as they say, national treasure. And one of his great books,
617
00:26:27.029 --> 00:26:30.240
maybe one of his greatest books, if it's not the
618
00:26:30.279 --> 00:26:34.140
Lyndon Johnson series, The Power Broker about Robert Moses is
619
00:26:34.420 --> 00:26:39.220
one of the most amazing historical works in history. I
620
00:26:39.259 --> 00:26:43.059
understand that you may be working on some kind of
621
00:26:43.079 --> 00:26:44.980
version of the power broker.
622
00:26:45.400 --> 00:26:46.960
We are working on.
623
00:26:47.019 --> 00:26:47.579
Who is we?
624
00:26:49.680 --> 00:26:51.039
Well.
625
00:26:51.059 --> 00:26:52.960
Maybe you're not allowed to talk about this yet. I
626
00:26:52.980 --> 00:26:54.220
don't want to get you in... I mean, I do
627
00:26:54.269 --> 00:26:55.930
want to get you in trouble, but not for this.
628
00:26:55.950 --> 00:27:00.930
But remember last time, yes, you very kindly bailed me out. Yes, there's... What.
629
00:27:00.769 --> 00:27:02.309
Can you say? Why don't you just say what you
630
00:27:02.349 --> 00:27:02.609
can say?
631
00:27:02.630 --> 00:27:05.789
There is a select group of us who have... approach
632
00:27:05.829 --> 00:27:09.029
to a very well-known streaming platform.
633
00:27:09.329 --> 00:27:12.599
There are a few of us known criminals who are conspiring.
634
00:27:13.420 --> 00:27:17.079
But at the moment, dear Mr.
635
00:27:17.119 --> 00:27:21.140
Caro, he doesn't have an issue with handing over the
636
00:27:21.180 --> 00:27:24.839
rights to the power broker. Other agencies and publishing houses do.
637
00:27:25.420 --> 00:27:29.319
So at the moment, it's in this stalemate whereby I
638
00:27:29.329 --> 00:27:33.609
know The flicks called net are trying to work things out.
639
00:27:33.690 --> 00:27:34.109
Yes.
640
00:27:34.309 --> 00:27:37.089
And acquire the rights to the power broker. It's been pitched.
641
00:27:37.250 --> 00:27:38.109
They do want to do it.
642
00:27:38.390 --> 00:27:41.410
Is it possible then that you would play Robert Moses,
643
00:27:41.490 --> 00:27:46.210
the man who more than anyone created the New York
644
00:27:46.250 --> 00:27:47.269
City that we know today?
645
00:27:47.410 --> 00:27:47.670
Yes.
646
00:27:47.809 --> 00:27:50.430
That's basically the fundamental pitch.
647
00:27:50.630 --> 00:27:53.109
Okay. I have no sway in this business at all.
648
00:27:53.190 --> 00:27:54.789
I have a little bit of sway with Robert Caro.
649
00:27:55.420 --> 00:27:58.440
just because I think he knows me. I've interviewed him.
650
00:27:58.440 --> 00:28:00.670
He knows I'm a huge fan and an acolyte of his.
651
00:28:01.170 --> 00:28:03.190
But I would do everything in my power to make
652
00:28:03.230 --> 00:28:06.529
sure that you play. I think you'd be amazing. And
653
00:28:06.549 --> 00:28:08.789
I think that would be just a terrific project.
654
00:28:08.930 --> 00:28:12.009
I certainly think it's a story and a book that
655
00:28:12.329 --> 00:28:15.559
needs to get made because the sheer scale and scope
656
00:28:15.619 --> 00:28:19.119
of it. But also, Moses as a human being, as
657
00:28:19.140 --> 00:28:23.079
an individual, if you read that play, book, is stunning.
658
00:28:23.650 --> 00:28:24.289
Staggering.
659
00:28:25.430 --> 00:28:28.869
It lays Shakespeare to the sword because you cannot quite
660
00:28:28.990 --> 00:28:30.779
believe the ascent of that man.
661
00:28:31.039 --> 00:28:36.099
And that man had more power than maybe anyone in
662
00:28:36.640 --> 00:28:40.279
American history, say the president, but he was able to,
663
00:28:40.759 --> 00:28:44.220
it's unimaginable now, but he could just say, I think
664
00:28:44.279 --> 00:28:47.470
this highway should go here. And all of these buildings
665
00:28:47.589 --> 00:28:49.029
in my way shall be destroyed.
666
00:28:49.269 --> 00:28:50.390
And these communities removed.
667
00:28:50.509 --> 00:28:53.309
And these communities removed. And it would happen as if
668
00:28:53.390 --> 00:28:54.210
he were a czar.
669
00:28:54.269 --> 00:28:54.549
Yes.
670
00:28:54.890 --> 00:28:58.059
And it was the way he understood power. And that's
671
00:28:58.140 --> 00:29:03.299
a real Caro's obsession is how people accumulate power and
672
00:29:03.339 --> 00:29:05.450
how they use it and who are the masters at that. And,
673
00:29:05.460 --> 00:29:08.009
of course, the other one is Lyndon Johnson. And it's
674
00:29:08.109 --> 00:29:10.329
just this thing that he writes about so well and
675
00:29:10.349 --> 00:29:11.569
he understands so well.
676
00:29:11.809 --> 00:29:13.630
That beautifully, beautifully put.
677
00:29:13.809 --> 00:29:14.609
I'm very talented.
678
00:29:14.650 --> 00:29:16.829
You are, but it's the understanding of power.
679
00:29:16.890 --> 00:29:18.910
I might be the Robert Moses of comedy.
680
00:29:19.490 --> 00:29:19.630
Ooh.
681
00:29:19.849 --> 00:29:23.940
Yeah. I have laid waste to so many communities. When
682
00:29:23.960 --> 00:29:25.859
I have a joke I want to do, I destroy
683
00:29:25.920 --> 00:29:29.039
communities and my whole tenements and buildings come down. In
684
00:29:29.099 --> 00:29:32.579
your wake, yes. And then it's just a quick wordplay pun.
685
00:29:33.579 --> 00:29:37.589
but people have lost their buildings. Yes. I hope this happens.
686
00:29:37.630 --> 00:29:38.150
So do I.
687
00:29:38.309 --> 00:29:42.470
And I will pray on that tonight. When I kneel
688
00:29:42.549 --> 00:29:44.970
and I say my prayers, it's all about my career.
689
00:29:45.059 --> 00:29:45.450
Of course.
690
00:29:45.490 --> 00:29:46.279
Nothing about the family.
691
00:29:46.299 --> 00:29:49.519
No, think of the commission. Yes.
692
00:29:49.839 --> 00:29:51.059
I would love that. I would love that to happen.
693
00:29:51.079 --> 00:29:52.599
So would I. So would I. I'll make it happen.
694
00:29:52.660 --> 00:29:54.160
Okay, good. You heard it here first.
695
00:29:54.259 --> 00:29:57.099
Yes. And you'll hear it here last. Now, I want
696
00:29:57.140 --> 00:29:59.240
to bring up one more Celtic thing, which is you
697
00:29:59.279 --> 00:30:02.319
have claimed that you have, and that you have profited
698
00:30:02.339 --> 00:30:06.269
from in your career, Celtic eyes. Oh, yes, yes. Tell
699
00:30:06.289 --> 00:30:09.029
me what are Celtic eyes, what they are, and then
700
00:30:09.930 --> 00:30:11.509
I'll ask you my follow-up question.
701
00:30:11.549 --> 00:30:13.769
Well, actually, what I was going to say was an accusation,
702
00:30:13.809 --> 00:30:15.190
but it was more of an inquiry.
703
00:30:15.410 --> 00:30:16.710
You're not to accuse me of anything.
704
00:30:16.890 --> 00:30:18.349
No, I have a number of things I'd like to
705
00:30:18.390 --> 00:30:19.809
accuse you of, but we'll wait until we stop rolling
706
00:30:19.890 --> 00:30:20.390
for that.
707
00:30:20.410 --> 00:30:20.539
Yes.
708
00:30:22.170 --> 00:30:24.269
I sat down at a dinner party in Los Angeles
709
00:30:24.349 --> 00:30:28.519
once and a very, very dashing, older kind of silver
710
00:30:28.559 --> 00:30:29.920
fox gentleman turned to me and he.
711
00:30:29.859 --> 00:30:34.099
Just went, Irish. I went, no. Scottish. I went, no. Well,
712
00:30:34.119 --> 00:30:34.720
then what are you?
713
00:30:35.220 --> 00:30:35.759
I said, Welsh.
714
00:30:35.900 --> 00:30:38.200
Oh, of course, the other Celt. And I said, I'm sorry,
715
00:30:38.240 --> 00:30:39.000
what made you say that?
716
00:30:39.039 --> 00:30:41.500
He goes, Celtic lids. You've got Celtic lids. He goes,
717
00:30:41.539 --> 00:30:43.480
I could really help you out. He was a plastic surgeon.
718
00:30:43.940 --> 00:30:46.359
And what he was inferring was is this sort of
719
00:30:46.440 --> 00:30:48.980
slight droop on the top of our eyes, which is,
720
00:30:49.200 --> 00:30:52.180
I think, you know, centuries being downtrodden makes you go, oh,
721
00:30:52.220 --> 00:30:52.839
I'm so sorry.
722
00:30:53.299 --> 00:30:54.859
You know, genetically.
723
00:30:54.940 --> 00:30:58.059
And the coal dust. That does it too. It's everything, yeah.
724
00:30:58.380 --> 00:31:01.960
It's having, it's both emotional and practical that you keep
725
00:31:02.029 --> 00:31:04.670
dust out of your eyes, but also you take your place,
726
00:31:04.890 --> 00:31:06.329
you know, in society.
727
00:31:06.450 --> 00:31:06.589
Yes.
728
00:31:06.609 --> 00:31:08.930
And apologize for being there, more importantly.
729
00:31:09.609 --> 00:31:12.250
Someone was going to try and fix your, you say lids,
730
00:31:12.329 --> 00:31:17.650
I call them peepers. Jeepers, creepers, what's inside those peepers? Exactly.
731
00:31:17.690 --> 00:31:17.869
Yes.
732
00:31:18.950 --> 00:31:19.990
One of my favorite poems also.
733
00:31:21.250 --> 00:31:22.029
From Dylan Thomas.
734
00:31:22.269 --> 00:31:24.490
Dylan Thomas, he did a lot of great stuff.
735
00:31:24.529 --> 00:31:25.529
He does, he did.
736
00:31:25.569 --> 00:31:27.009
Purple polka dot bikini was his.
737
00:31:27.109 --> 00:31:29.029
Yes, where the sidewalk ends, yes.
738
00:31:29.470 --> 00:31:33.710
So I'm fascinated that anyone would try and touch those,
739
00:31:33.730 --> 00:31:36.109
because those are great. I would think they've been so
740
00:31:36.269 --> 00:31:37.150
useful to you in acting.
741
00:31:37.289 --> 00:31:40.309
Well, there's another moment when the Americans was finishing acting,
742
00:31:40.809 --> 00:31:42.289
I believe it was the New Yorker that wrote a
743
00:31:42.289 --> 00:31:44.490
very nice article saying that I was like, what is
744
00:31:44.539 --> 00:31:44.880
it called?
745
00:31:45.170 --> 00:31:46.759
The king of downtrodden tragedy.
746
00:31:46.880 --> 00:31:48.599
And there was a photo of me and I looked
747
00:31:48.640 --> 00:31:51.019
at the photo and I went, that's my resting face.
748
00:31:52.269 --> 00:31:55.509
I'm not acting. I'm not doing anything.
749
00:31:55.869 --> 00:31:57.970
That is what my face looks like.
750
00:31:58.569 --> 00:32:01.869
You can project whatever it is you wish upon that
751
00:32:01.930 --> 00:32:06.299
downtrodden face. And if you bleed in some emotional music,
752
00:32:06.420 --> 00:32:09.160
it might give you something cinematic. But at that moment,
753
00:32:09.400 --> 00:32:11.059
I was doing nothing.
754
00:32:11.259 --> 00:32:12.400
Yes.
755
00:32:12.460 --> 00:32:14.200
That's all it does. Cut you to the quick.
756
00:32:14.400 --> 00:32:17.609
It fans the flame of your imposter syndrome. That's all
757
00:32:17.670 --> 00:32:17.990
it does.
758
00:32:18.849 --> 00:32:21.289
All right, this brings up my next question. Yeah. First
759
00:32:21.309 --> 00:32:24.759
of all, look at my eyes. Yes. Do I have anything?
760
00:32:24.799 --> 00:32:27.359
Is there any Celtic anything going on in my eyes?
761
00:32:27.420 --> 00:32:27.490
Yes.
762
00:32:27.500 --> 00:32:30.359
My eyes are narrow. They're suspicious. They're creepy.
763
00:32:30.519 --> 00:32:31.299
Yeah.
764
00:32:31.460 --> 00:32:34.180
It's kept me out of film my entire life. What
765
00:32:34.220 --> 00:32:36.539
can we do? Help me. Help me.
766
00:32:36.960 --> 00:32:41.470
I did watch a documentary about Charlie Sheen the other day.
767
00:32:41.589 --> 00:32:41.710
Yep.
768
00:32:42.099 --> 00:32:43.980
And he said there was this one time where obviously
769
00:32:44.000 --> 00:32:48.039
he was struggling with substance abuse, which isn't funny. But
770
00:32:48.380 --> 00:32:51.710
one thing he did, he realized he was falling asleep mid-take.
771
00:32:52.230 --> 00:32:53.069
Do you know this?
772
00:32:53.230 --> 00:32:53.430
Yes.
773
00:32:53.730 --> 00:32:55.769
He asked for the cup of ice and he inserted
774
00:32:55.789 --> 00:32:57.170
an ice cube into his rectum.
775
00:32:57.309 --> 00:32:57.490
Yes.
776
00:32:57.589 --> 00:32:58.650
And he said it gave him like.
777
00:32:58.930 --> 00:33:01.299
And it finished the scene. Yes. Then they show the
778
00:33:01.319 --> 00:33:03.740
scene in the documentary and he's very present.
779
00:33:03.819 --> 00:33:04.380
And aware.
780
00:33:04.579 --> 00:33:07.619
And I thought in that moment, I went, good God,
781
00:33:07.660 --> 00:33:11.210
he's cracked it. My downtrodden lids, if I just give
782
00:33:11.250 --> 00:33:12.910
the old, you know, one up.
783
00:33:12.710 --> 00:33:14.890
The chute, right? And I've gone, bing!
784
00:33:15.089 --> 00:33:17.130
And like, all of a sudden, you know. Right now,
785
00:33:17.170 --> 00:33:18.109
you're doing it. Look at me.
786
00:33:18.210 --> 00:33:19.700
I'm like, I could play Scarface again.
787
00:33:19.720 --> 00:33:22.339
I'm like, oh, fuck you, Dave, right?
788
00:33:23.319 --> 00:33:23.759
Right?
789
00:33:23.940 --> 00:33:26.599
It just gives you the zing. So you're saying if
790
00:33:26.839 --> 00:33:29.349
I shoved ice up my ass, these eyes would open up.
791
00:33:29.569 --> 00:33:32.509
Oh, like, like, I'm trying to think of something that
792
00:33:32.569 --> 00:33:32.890
opens up.
793
00:33:33.309 --> 00:33:38.390
Just like a mall on Christmas Eve. There you go,
794
00:33:38.430 --> 00:33:42.420
now we're talking. So I, let's call it pulling a
795
00:33:42.460 --> 00:33:44.559
sheen from now on. Oh, okay, good. I think that's
796
00:33:44.599 --> 00:33:45.900
the way to do it. You need to pull a sheen.
797
00:33:46.160 --> 00:33:48.940
Yes, I'll be back in a minute. Yeah, and then zing, ring,
798
00:33:49.059 --> 00:33:51.660
and then in you come.
799
00:33:52.500 --> 00:33:56.019
You talked about imposter syndrome. Yes. Everybody has imposter syndrome.
800
00:33:56.740 --> 00:33:59.299
Weirdly, with this Richard Burton piece, it's the first one-man
801
00:33:59.339 --> 00:34:03.420
show I've ever done. And the true great fear I
802
00:34:03.480 --> 00:34:06.900
have is that I will forget my lines because that's it.
803
00:34:06.920 --> 00:34:09.320
It's just like stand-up. It's just you and the audience.
804
00:34:09.820 --> 00:34:12.440
What I've started doing now is doing a run-through. If
805
00:34:12.519 --> 00:34:15.719
I go wrong, it's not stopping or correcting myself. It's
806
00:34:15.840 --> 00:34:19.110
seeing how I get out of that. because that will
807
00:34:19.150 --> 00:34:22.170
ultimately be, I think, the lifeline. So that is an
808
00:34:22.230 --> 00:34:25.070
entirely new discipline for me. Yes, it did a little
809
00:34:25.090 --> 00:34:27.750
bit on stage, but you're always with another actor who
810
00:34:27.769 --> 00:34:28.769
will help you, catch you.
811
00:34:28.809 --> 00:34:30.750
Throw it back to you. They're your cue.
812
00:34:30.750 --> 00:34:30.789
100%.
813
00:34:30.789 --> 00:34:34.389
They're giving you, I mean, you're leading each other, but
814
00:34:34.429 --> 00:34:37.269
it's a dance, and now you're out there alone.
815
00:34:37.309 --> 00:34:39.329
Yes, and I've forgotten my lines in the past, and
816
00:34:39.630 --> 00:34:43.449
another actor saved me. And for the first time, playing
817
00:34:43.550 --> 00:34:46.460
Richard Burton, going home after 22 years, I will do
818
00:34:46.519 --> 00:34:52.110
something alone. And what I'm intrigued is how do I,
819
00:34:52.460 --> 00:34:53.980
exactly what you say, how do I get out of
820
00:34:54.000 --> 00:34:56.510
those moments when it doesn't seem like I messed up?
821
00:34:56.519 --> 00:34:57.400
I try and make it seem like I messed up.
822
00:34:57.400 --> 00:34:58.059
I have a suggestion.
823
00:34:58.159 --> 00:34:58.400
Yes.
824
00:34:58.539 --> 00:34:59.559
If you're open to it.
825
00:34:59.659 --> 00:35:00.059
Don't do it.
826
00:35:01.300 --> 00:35:02.389
If you can get out of the play, I would
827
00:35:02.409 --> 00:35:02.599
get out.
828
00:35:02.630 --> 00:35:02.849
Yes.
829
00:35:03.170 --> 00:35:04.190
I think you're a terrible actor.
830
00:35:04.230 --> 00:35:05.550
Yes. Good. This is good.
831
00:35:05.750 --> 00:35:06.889
You shouldn't be on the stage. No.
832
00:35:07.349 --> 00:35:08.090
Should I get my eyes done?
833
00:35:08.409 --> 00:35:08.590
Yes.
834
00:35:08.690 --> 00:35:09.929
And immediately get your eyes done.
835
00:35:10.070 --> 00:35:10.670
Eyes, please!
836
00:35:10.690 --> 00:35:10.909
Azui!
837
00:35:13.869 --> 00:35:16.469
You should put a little thing in the program. Yeah.
838
00:35:16.489 --> 00:35:17.070
A little message.
839
00:35:17.150 --> 00:35:17.349
Yeah.
840
00:35:17.679 --> 00:35:19.960
And it says, you know, they always say this takes place. Yeah.
841
00:35:20.480 --> 00:35:21.860
On New Year's Day.
842
00:35:21.900 --> 00:35:22.079
Yeah.
843
00:35:22.480 --> 00:35:25.340
Richard Burton's apartment. Yeah. In 1968.
844
00:35:25.340 --> 00:35:26.239
Okay.
845
00:35:27.480 --> 00:35:29.199
Was it 68? Yeah. I just was making that data.
846
00:35:29.239 --> 00:35:29.460
I know.
847
00:35:29.519 --> 00:35:29.900
I'm serious.
848
00:35:30.000 --> 00:35:31.079
We literally said it at the same time.
849
00:35:31.139 --> 00:35:33.300
Okay. So this is how good I am. I know.
850
00:35:33.320 --> 00:35:34.489
Of course, I don't have an imposter syndrome.
851
00:35:34.530 --> 00:35:34.989
God, he's good.
852
00:35:35.090 --> 00:35:35.369
Yes.
853
00:35:35.530 --> 00:35:38.090
So you should have a little thing that says, on
854
00:35:38.150 --> 00:35:41.170
this day, Richard Burton has a very bad cold.
855
00:35:41.530 --> 00:35:41.909
And then.
856
00:35:42.699 --> 00:35:44.139
You come in, enter coughing.
857
00:35:44.179 --> 00:35:44.400
Yeah.
858
00:35:44.679 --> 00:35:47.159
Then start your speeches. Let the cough melt away. Yeah.
859
00:35:47.659 --> 00:35:49.760
But anytime you start to lose it a little bit.
860
00:35:49.820 --> 00:35:53.920
Good God.
861
00:35:54.440 --> 00:35:54.860
Thinking.
862
00:35:55.340 --> 00:35:55.760
Thinking.
863
00:35:55.780 --> 00:35:56.260
The whole time.
864
00:35:56.360 --> 00:35:56.860
Find it.
865
00:35:56.929 --> 00:35:57.360
What's next?
866
00:35:57.409 --> 00:35:58.119
Find it. Find it.
867
00:35:58.159 --> 00:35:58.409
Find it.
868
00:36:00.309 --> 00:36:00.889
And then you'll find.
869
00:36:00.909 --> 00:36:01.150
Yeah.
870
00:36:01.670 --> 00:36:02.030
That's it.
871
00:36:02.230 --> 00:36:05.889
The cough. And people will say he'd never missed a line.
872
00:36:05.949 --> 00:36:06.070
Yeah.
873
00:36:07.010 --> 00:36:10.250
And God, he made me feel like he really was sick.
874
00:36:10.289 --> 00:36:13.389
Good God, that's genius. That's the work of genius.
875
00:36:13.469 --> 00:36:16.360
You should direct theater. You know what? No one's ever
876
00:36:16.440 --> 00:36:19.159
said that to me, and no one ever will seriously.
877
00:36:19.840 --> 00:36:21.539
But I'm going to take you up on that.
878
00:36:21.599 --> 00:36:22.159
Something to consider.
879
00:36:22.179 --> 00:36:23.440
I'm going to quit everything I'm doing.
880
00:36:23.460 --> 00:36:26.039
What would be the Irish one-man show that you would
881
00:36:26.079 --> 00:36:29.320
want to do? Which Irishman? Surely there's one about Harris
882
00:36:29.360 --> 00:36:29.719
you could do.
883
00:36:30.030 --> 00:36:32.210
Oh, my God. Well, I mean, first of all, the
884
00:36:32.250 --> 00:36:34.940
worst thing I could do in my career... would be
885
00:36:35.039 --> 00:36:41.739
for me an American, you know, third generation Irish American
886
00:36:42.099 --> 00:36:45.619
to return to Ireland and attempt a true accent.
887
00:36:45.719 --> 00:36:45.989
Do it.
888
00:36:46.119 --> 00:36:47.170
They would destroy me.
889
00:36:47.199 --> 00:36:47.440
Do it.
890
00:36:47.619 --> 00:36:48.500
A true accent.
891
00:36:48.599 --> 00:36:48.869
Do it.
892
00:36:49.000 --> 00:36:50.050
They would destroy me.
893
00:36:50.079 --> 00:36:50.320
Do it.
894
00:36:50.639 --> 00:36:51.780
Was Harris ever on your show?
895
00:36:51.840 --> 00:36:52.420
Yes, he was.
896
00:36:53.000 --> 00:36:53.639
How many times?
897
00:36:54.199 --> 00:36:56.800
He was on once, I believe. And I watched the
898
00:36:56.860 --> 00:37:01.039
interview recently because one of the problems with doing so
899
00:37:01.539 --> 00:37:06.449
much volume... thousands and thousands of hours of television, four
900
00:37:06.489 --> 00:37:12.730
of them quite good. I decided that, oh my God,
901
00:37:13.010 --> 00:37:16.400
I remembered, I got to speak to the great iconic
902
00:37:16.679 --> 00:37:20.710
Richard Harris. And I have a very dim memory of it.
903
00:37:20.760 --> 00:37:23.670
And then I realized, wait a minute, I can watch it.
904
00:37:24.059 --> 00:37:26.880
So I typed in Conan Richard Harris. He came up,
905
00:37:27.130 --> 00:37:30.690
I watched the whole interview. He was spectacular. And at
906
00:37:30.889 --> 00:37:33.889
one point, he finishes his story with great bravado and
907
00:37:33.949 --> 00:37:36.340
throws himself back in his chair, roaring, laughing, and his
908
00:37:36.469 --> 00:37:38.619
chair starts to tip over, and Andy and I kind
909
00:37:38.659 --> 00:37:40.860
of grab him and pull him back. He was an
910
00:37:41.139 --> 00:37:43.460
absolute delight, everything you'd want him to be.
911
00:37:43.719 --> 00:37:46.460
And now you have this retrospective where, you know, when
912
00:37:46.480 --> 00:37:48.500
the greats die, you look back and go, now I'll
913
00:37:48.539 --> 00:37:49.739
watch me talking to him.
914
00:37:50.179 --> 00:37:52.480
Yeah, but you know what's funny? I'm often, when I
915
00:37:52.579 --> 00:37:55.760
see those moments, I think, why is he there? Meaning,
916
00:37:55.900 --> 00:37:58.440
why is, not why is Richard Harris there. Why is
917
00:37:58.460 --> 00:37:59.340
Richard Harris there?
918
00:37:59.659 --> 00:38:01.849
Why wasn't it Peter O'Toole?
919
00:38:01.969 --> 00:38:03.530
No, why isn't it just me alone?
920
00:38:03.570 --> 00:38:04.730
Yes.
921
00:38:04.889 --> 00:38:06.429
Why is Harris mucking it up?
922
00:38:06.489 --> 00:38:08.050
I could have done much better with that story.
923
00:38:08.840 --> 00:38:13.059
Yeah, exactly. No, I just see myself with a Richard
924
00:38:13.079 --> 00:38:15.440
Harris or a David Bowie and go, oh my God.
925
00:38:15.780 --> 00:38:18.199
It's that thing where you just are, Can you lose him?
926
00:38:18.719 --> 00:38:21.239
Why is he there? But I'm sorry, but that's how
927
00:38:21.280 --> 00:38:21.739
we all feel.
928
00:38:21.800 --> 00:38:22.420
I know, I know.
929
00:38:22.440 --> 00:38:26.199
Because the other person is legitimate and you are not legitimate.
930
00:38:26.219 --> 00:38:26.480
Of course.
931
00:38:26.639 --> 00:38:28.239
And that's just the way it is and you have
932
00:38:28.260 --> 00:38:28.760
to accept it.
933
00:38:28.780 --> 00:38:31.019
Yes, and we go through the world, you know, meeting
934
00:38:31.059 --> 00:38:33.320
these people and feeling like that. I also do think that,
935
00:38:33.570 --> 00:38:35.190
you know, the Celtic gene doesn't help us.
936
00:38:35.650 --> 00:38:35.869
No.
937
00:38:35.889 --> 00:38:36.929
The English are much better at it.
938
00:38:37.239 --> 00:38:40.119
You know, there is a thing, there's a true suspicion
939
00:38:40.159 --> 00:38:42.380
when you go back to, when I go back to Ireland,
940
00:38:42.400 --> 00:38:45.800
and I love it there, and I love the people,
941
00:38:46.300 --> 00:38:50.400
but I know that if you've gone off to America,
942
00:38:50.440 --> 00:38:52.960
if your people went off to America, and then you're
943
00:38:53.000 --> 00:38:57.590
coming back as a television personality in America, you're asking
944
00:38:57.670 --> 00:38:57.969
for it.
945
00:38:58.070 --> 00:38:58.449
Of course.
946
00:38:58.510 --> 00:39:01.369
You know, who the fuck do you think you are? Oh,
947
00:39:01.409 --> 00:39:01.920
here he is.
948
00:39:01.949 --> 00:39:03.329
Bertie fucking Big Balls.
949
00:39:03.349 --> 00:39:03.719
Look at him.
950
00:39:06.699 --> 00:39:09.320
Exactly. And that's the attitude when they stamp your passport.
951
00:39:10.219 --> 00:39:12.639
And everybody's hilarious. That's the other thing I've learned. And
952
00:39:12.659 --> 00:39:16.050
you probably have this in Wales, too, where I'll think, well,
953
00:39:16.150 --> 00:39:19.510
I've really been honing my craft. And then I get
954
00:39:19.630 --> 00:39:22.230
off the plane and I get in a cab and
955
00:39:22.230 --> 00:39:26.619
the cab driver's funnier than anyone I've ever met. Yes.
956
00:39:26.860 --> 00:39:29.400
And that's why, and, and they won't forget a grudge.
957
00:39:29.460 --> 00:39:32.300
I was in Belfast. We're driving along. I was going
958
00:39:32.320 --> 00:39:34.760
to do a, they were having some thing for game
959
00:39:34.800 --> 00:39:36.639
of Thrones that they wanted me to host. It was
960
00:39:36.679 --> 00:39:38.730
during the last season of game of Thrones. And they said,
961
00:39:38.750 --> 00:39:41.469
would you come up? And I go to Belfast for
962
00:39:41.510 --> 00:39:44.469
the first time and I get in a cab and
963
00:39:44.489 --> 00:39:46.690
we're driving along. And then I notice out of the,
964
00:39:47.050 --> 00:39:51.079
out of the side. I say, hey, it says Harland Wolf.
965
00:39:51.579 --> 00:39:54.110
And I remembered, and way back in my mind, Harland
966
00:39:54.119 --> 00:39:58.630
Wolf Shipyard, that's where they made the Titanic. And I
967
00:39:58.710 --> 00:40:00.849
said to the driver, I said, that's where they made
968
00:40:00.869 --> 00:40:01.269
the Titanic.
969
00:40:01.309 --> 00:40:01.849
He went, that's right.
970
00:40:02.230 --> 00:40:05.400
And I said, oh, that ship didn't last too long,
971
00:40:05.440 --> 00:40:07.579
did it? And he went, he said, ah, the English
972
00:40:07.619 --> 00:40:09.440
had sunk it. He said, it was in pretty fucking
973
00:40:09.460 --> 00:40:11.940
good shape when we gave it to him. And I'm like,
974
00:40:12.159 --> 00:40:14.710
and he said it as if this was something that
975
00:40:14.769 --> 00:40:16.150
went down two days ago.
976
00:40:16.929 --> 00:40:17.130
Yeah.
977
00:40:17.210 --> 00:40:18.800
He's still got that chip on his shoulder.
978
00:40:18.840 --> 00:40:19.219
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
979
00:40:19.239 --> 00:40:20.480
When we gave it to the English, it was funny.
980
00:40:20.500 --> 00:40:22.059
We didn't tell him to run it into a nightclub.
981
00:40:22.639 --> 00:40:26.909
You fucking... And so, I mean, it's just, I love
982
00:40:26.949 --> 00:40:29.110
the old wounds that are as fresh.
983
00:40:29.679 --> 00:40:32.909
Oh, my father still talks about 1282, you know, when
984
00:40:32.929 --> 00:40:35.119
the English killed off the last of the Royal Welsh family.
985
00:40:35.139 --> 00:40:37.030
They're like, well, it all turned to shit then, didn't it?
986
00:40:37.260 --> 00:40:40.159
You're like, well, I suppose. Yes, I don't know.
987
00:40:40.360 --> 00:40:42.239
So everything after 1282 has been... No, no wonder we're.
988
00:40:42.199 --> 00:40:45.400
All like this, you know, trying to block out the world.
989
00:40:49.389 --> 00:40:52.130
It's been crap all ever since. To say it's all
990
00:40:52.150 --> 00:40:52.909
been shite.
991
00:40:53.190 --> 00:40:56.510
Ever since. It was golden age up until then.
992
00:40:57.280 --> 00:40:57.619
Yes.
993
00:40:58.300 --> 00:41:00.559
We were okay until the bronze age came along.
994
00:41:00.619 --> 00:41:02.039
Yes, they ruined it for us.
995
00:41:04.199 --> 00:41:07.019
I must discuss briefly.
996
00:41:07.119 --> 00:41:07.880
The power broker.
997
00:41:08.239 --> 00:41:09.260
Your lovely partner.
998
00:41:09.719 --> 00:41:11.440
Oh, yes. She is a power broker.
999
00:41:11.780 --> 00:41:12.699
Is she a power broker?
1000
00:41:12.760 --> 00:41:14.920
In every sense. I am a mere pawn.
1001
00:41:15.519 --> 00:41:17.639
Is that true? Does she control you?
1002
00:41:17.659 --> 00:41:20.019
Sorry, prawn is what she calls me. Yes.
1003
00:41:21.260 --> 00:41:22.000
Are you a prawn?
1004
00:41:22.179 --> 00:41:24.900
In many ways, shellfish to the nth degree.
1005
00:41:25.519 --> 00:41:28.340
I'm just curious. I watch, I'm going to give a
1006
00:41:28.380 --> 00:41:31.739
quick shout out to the beautiful and talented Keri Russell,
1007
00:41:32.079 --> 00:41:36.579
who I'm entranced by the diplomat. She is incredible in
1008
00:41:36.619 --> 00:41:38.760
everything she does. I was stunned to find out and
1009
00:41:38.820 --> 00:41:41.849
still stunned that you two, because you're actors and you
1010
00:41:41.869 --> 00:41:43.869
starred in this series together, The Americans, you had to
1011
00:41:43.909 --> 00:41:44.949
have a chemistry read.
1012
00:41:45.159 --> 00:41:45.400
Yeah.
1013
00:41:45.800 --> 00:41:49.099
To have a chemistry read with someone who then later
1014
00:41:49.219 --> 00:41:53.010
on becomes your life partner, it's fascinating to me because
1015
00:41:53.050 --> 00:41:55.550
I never had a chemistry read with my wife. Wait, what?
1016
00:41:55.710 --> 00:41:56.610
And I think we should.
1017
00:41:56.710 --> 00:41:57.889
Don't you have an agent?
1018
00:41:58.130 --> 00:42:00.349
Surely you have management. Dear God, what are they doing?
1019
00:42:00.369 --> 00:42:02.809
Don't give them 10%.
1020
00:42:03.230 --> 00:42:04.489
I think if my wife and I had had a
1021
00:42:04.510 --> 00:42:07.789
chemistry read, I wouldn't have children right now. The whole
1022
00:42:07.849 --> 00:42:11.210
thing would have fallen apart. You have nothing. Get her
1023
00:42:11.610 --> 00:42:15.530
out of there. But it got me thinking that everyone
1024
00:42:15.570 --> 00:42:18.989
should have a chemistry read before. I mean, essentially, that's
1025
00:42:20.179 --> 00:42:24.340
what some people do. The Catholic Church has some version
1026
00:42:24.420 --> 00:42:27.000
of it. Well, of course. Where you two should get
1027
00:42:27.039 --> 00:42:30.059
together and have some conversations in the company of a priest.
1028
00:42:30.079 --> 00:42:30.300
Yes.
1029
00:42:30.900 --> 00:42:33.340
But that's no chemistry read, let's face it. Did you
1030
00:42:33.400 --> 00:42:35.579
know in the chemistry read, we have real chemistry?
1031
00:42:35.969 --> 00:42:36.119
No.
1032
00:42:36.429 --> 00:42:36.610
No.
1033
00:42:36.739 --> 00:42:37.469
No, I couldn't.
1034
00:42:37.949 --> 00:42:40.610
And I struggle a bit with the term chemistry read because,
1035
00:42:40.630 --> 00:42:42.730
you know, I've done so many of them. They go, well,
1036
00:42:42.750 --> 00:42:44.170
they want you to do a chemistry read. And then
1037
00:42:44.210 --> 00:42:45.849
you go, do you mean they just want me to
1038
00:42:46.030 --> 00:42:48.329
act with another actor? Is that what they want me
1039
00:42:48.389 --> 00:42:48.809
to do?
1040
00:42:48.889 --> 00:42:49.570
It's a silly term.
1041
00:42:49.610 --> 00:42:49.869
Yes.
1042
00:42:50.610 --> 00:42:53.280
And then I think sometimes what they secretly do is,
1043
00:42:53.650 --> 00:42:55.409
In between the acting, they want to see if you're
1044
00:42:55.429 --> 00:42:57.349
joking and having fun or you might like each other.
1045
00:42:57.369 --> 00:42:58.610
Do you know what I mean? And if they might
1046
00:42:58.670 --> 00:43:01.550
get on set. I honestly don't know. I struggle a
1047
00:43:01.550 --> 00:43:03.469
bit with the term chemistry because I'm always like, I
1048
00:43:03.510 --> 00:43:06.090
can pretend to like that person in the room and
1049
00:43:06.110 --> 00:43:08.289
then hopefully they'll give me the job and then I'll
1050
00:43:08.349 --> 00:43:10.269
act my best in the acting bits. But that's all
1051
00:43:10.610 --> 00:43:12.750
pretty much I can do. She had to slap me
1052
00:43:12.789 --> 00:43:15.969
in our chemistry read. And the director said, one of
1053
00:43:16.010 --> 00:43:18.269
the reasons he said we cast you is because you
1054
00:43:18.309 --> 00:43:20.630
took that slap so well. And I went, I had
1055
00:43:20.750 --> 00:43:24.070
no idea she was going to slap me. I was
1056
00:43:24.260 --> 00:43:26.440
reeling in shock that she did it.
1057
00:43:26.639 --> 00:43:27.400
It really hurts.
1058
00:43:27.519 --> 00:43:29.880
Oh, my ears were ringing. They went, God, you took
1059
00:43:29.920 --> 00:43:31.920
it so well. I was like, it caught up with
1060
00:43:31.940 --> 00:43:33.099
me like three days later.
1061
00:43:33.260 --> 00:43:33.440
Yeah.
1062
00:43:33.619 --> 00:43:34.739
I had no idea that was happening.
1063
00:43:34.920 --> 00:43:38.179
So, you know, there are strange happenstance like that where
1064
00:43:38.199 --> 00:43:40.420
you go, oh, thank God I didn't go, oh, Christ.
1065
00:43:40.460 --> 00:43:43.420
What are you doing, woman? Is there tape rolling on this?
1066
00:43:43.760 --> 00:43:43.940
Yeah.
1067
00:43:43.960 --> 00:43:44.280
Oh, yeah.
1068
00:43:44.380 --> 00:43:47.340
It's so funny to me the idea of your family
1069
00:43:47.420 --> 00:43:50.059
being able to at any point look at a tape
1070
00:43:50.119 --> 00:43:53.030
of this is when– our parents met each other, and
1071
00:43:53.090 --> 00:43:54.719
it's you getting the shit kicked out of you.
1072
00:43:54.760 --> 00:43:58.219
Yes, yes. Well, they're like, well, that's like any Wednesday, really.
1073
00:43:59.219 --> 00:43:59.860
But also.
1074
00:44:00.619 --> 00:44:02.820
I forgot, yes. Constant beatings.
1075
00:44:02.860 --> 00:44:04.460
Of course. Oh, there's Dad again, yeah.
1076
00:44:05.340 --> 00:44:08.940
But we'd actually met about 15, 16 years prior to that.
1077
00:44:08.960 --> 00:44:09.599
Oh, wow, okay.
1078
00:44:09.780 --> 00:44:12.860
And at a kickball party that Jennifer Grey threw in
1079
00:44:12.900 --> 00:44:13.500
Los Angeles.
1080
00:44:13.800 --> 00:44:14.780
Those are famous.
1081
00:44:15.099 --> 00:44:17.619
Those are famous debauched parties that she throws.
1082
00:44:17.639 --> 00:44:20.219
Which is why I fought my way in. I was like,
1083
00:44:20.280 --> 00:44:23.400
God damn it! There's a reason they call it dirty dancing.
1084
00:44:23.539 --> 00:44:25.619
And I'm making my way in.
1085
00:44:25.860 --> 00:44:28.989
It can't really mean kickball. It must mean some other
1086
00:44:29.030 --> 00:44:30.710
kind of kickball. It's code.
1087
00:44:30.909 --> 00:44:31.190
Yes.
1088
00:44:32.090 --> 00:44:34.190
So at the end of the party, I'd asked for
1089
00:44:34.230 --> 00:44:37.730
her number. And I then very drunkenly left a message
1090
00:44:37.909 --> 00:44:39.409
on her, you know, back in the old days when
1091
00:44:39.429 --> 00:44:42.760
it was. And she said some drunken Welsh idiot left
1092
00:44:42.800 --> 00:44:45.000
her a message, and that was me. So we kind
1093
00:44:45.039 --> 00:44:47.619
of reminded ourselves of each other after that. So I'd
1094
00:44:47.659 --> 00:44:50.650
remembered that I'd met her many, many years earlier, but
1095
00:44:50.670 --> 00:44:52.429
it wasn't the time and place for me to go, oh,
1096
00:44:52.469 --> 00:44:54.710
guess what? Do you remember that fateful night when I
1097
00:44:54.789 --> 00:44:57.409
opened a beer with a key on my thumb and
1098
00:44:57.469 --> 00:45:00.170
I was inebriated and had to walk home and left
1099
00:45:00.210 --> 00:45:04.219
you a message all made of consonants, not a single vowel?
1100
00:45:04.340 --> 00:45:05.800
Well, I remember that when we did our first.
1101
00:45:09.639 --> 00:45:13.980
First podcast, and as I said, it was during COVID,
1102
00:45:14.079 --> 00:45:16.659
and it looked like you were talking in a basement.
1103
00:45:17.139 --> 00:45:19.570
Still there. You were shrouded in darkness.
1104
00:45:19.590 --> 00:45:19.949
Yes.
1105
00:45:20.510 --> 00:45:23.670
That's my aura. It looked so sad, and then in
1106
00:45:23.710 --> 00:45:28.210
the background, this angel walks by with a hamper of laundry.
1107
00:45:28.309 --> 00:45:28.630
I know.
1108
00:45:29.010 --> 00:45:34.550
And I was like, he's carrying us. Yeah. And I
1109
00:45:34.590 --> 00:45:38.050
put my creep classes on and started filming. Telegram.
1110
00:45:38.769 --> 00:45:40.340
Hey, telegram, you special.
1111
00:45:40.400 --> 00:45:41.880
It won't work. You're on Zoom.
1112
00:45:42.280 --> 00:45:42.559
Yes.
1113
00:45:42.599 --> 00:45:47.679
Damn it. Separated by Zoom. All my creepy tricks won't work.
1114
00:45:48.730 --> 00:45:50.369
I want to talk about this new project. And there's
1115
00:45:50.389 --> 00:45:53.909
a little strange... I have some... connection to this project
1116
00:45:54.190 --> 00:45:57.610
that you've done, The Beast in Me, which is that early,
1117
00:45:57.690 --> 00:46:01.179
early on, I had this production company and the wonderful
1118
00:46:01.440 --> 00:46:06.760
and very intelligent, wise David Kissinger said, there's this script
1119
00:46:06.900 --> 00:46:09.019
that I found that's amazing. He brought it to me.
1120
00:46:09.219 --> 00:46:11.880
I read it. I think Jodie Foster had seen it.
1121
00:46:11.980 --> 00:46:14.960
So Jodie came in and we just started talking about
1122
00:46:15.000 --> 00:46:17.980
how amazing this script was. We were doing our best
1123
00:46:18.019 --> 00:46:20.940
to try and shepherd this thing along. but once people
1124
00:46:20.980 --> 00:46:23.960
hear Conan O'Brien's involved, everyone flees.
1125
00:46:24.119 --> 00:46:24.920
That imposter.
1126
00:46:25.059 --> 00:46:27.530
That imposter, yeah. He's phoning it in.
1127
00:46:27.570 --> 00:46:27.840
Again.
1128
00:46:27.860 --> 00:46:28.929
Is he wearing those glasses?
1129
00:46:29.760 --> 00:46:30.849
Did you get one of his telegraphs?
1130
00:46:31.170 --> 00:46:31.449
Yes.
1131
00:46:31.690 --> 00:46:32.630
They're not real, you know.
1132
00:46:32.650 --> 00:46:33.590
Yes.
1133
00:46:34.070 --> 00:46:38.610
And so time goes by, and then I find out that,
1134
00:46:38.829 --> 00:46:41.400
oh wait, this is actually going to happen. But I
1135
00:46:41.440 --> 00:46:43.780
wasn't sure. For a while, we were thinking, who is
1136
00:46:43.820 --> 00:46:46.090
going to play this part? And then I find out
1137
00:46:46.110 --> 00:46:48.610
it's Claire Danes. And then I find out that it's you.
1138
00:46:49.070 --> 00:46:52.070
And I had no, no one would listen to me anyway.
1139
00:46:52.389 --> 00:46:54.769
But someone did call me at one point and said,
1140
00:46:54.949 --> 00:46:58.250
what do you think of, for the part, for the
1141
00:46:58.329 --> 00:47:00.829
second lead or the co-star of it, what do you
1142
00:47:00.849 --> 00:47:04.329
think of Matthew Rhys? And I was like, I love
1143
00:47:04.610 --> 00:47:08.119
that guy. I would. He is. He's got to do this.
1144
00:47:08.280 --> 00:47:10.420
I want to have my name in something that you're in.
1145
00:47:10.820 --> 00:47:13.960
And listen, I take no credit for anything. I'll demand money.
1146
00:47:14.690 --> 00:47:18.460
I'll make sure that. I take a big enough piece
1147
00:47:18.500 --> 00:47:19.719
that it hurts the production.
1148
00:47:19.780 --> 00:47:20.059
Always.
1149
00:47:20.519 --> 00:47:24.159
Always. That's why I did it for bread. Yeah, exactly.
1150
00:47:25.030 --> 00:47:27.889
But no, I can take no credit for anything other
1151
00:47:27.929 --> 00:47:30.570
than I loved this script a long time ago, and
1152
00:47:30.889 --> 00:47:34.110
I very much wanted to see this make it. And
1153
00:47:35.369 --> 00:47:37.300
I hope my name was of some use. It may
1154
00:47:37.340 --> 00:47:37.820
have harmed.
1155
00:47:38.019 --> 00:47:38.400
Oh, no.
1156
00:47:38.539 --> 00:47:42.559
And my 70% of the profits... I'm ashamed.
1157
00:47:42.659 --> 00:47:44.300
No, you shouldn't be. I'm ashamed. No, you've earned it.
1158
00:47:44.380 --> 00:47:46.480
You've earned it. And thank you for the vote of confidence.
1159
00:47:46.500 --> 00:47:48.639
By doing nothing, I've earned it. Oh, stop.
1160
00:47:49.139 --> 00:47:52.099
It's the other thing that no one realizes, the amount
1161
00:47:52.119 --> 00:47:54.309
of years that go into development. So when people like
1162
00:47:54.329 --> 00:47:56.550
you and Jodie Foster are going, no, this should get made.
1163
00:47:56.849 --> 00:47:58.150
You know, thank God that you do.
1164
00:47:58.329 --> 00:47:59.750
Jodie was a child at the time.
1165
00:47:59.929 --> 00:48:01.789
Yes. She'd just done Taxi Driver.
1166
00:48:01.809 --> 00:48:05.710
She'd done Taxi Driver. I was in fourth grade. And
1167
00:48:05.849 --> 00:48:08.739
I said, I think we should make this. And no
1168
00:48:08.780 --> 00:48:10.780
one listened to us because I was in Brookline, Massachusetts.
1169
00:48:12.340 --> 00:48:16.840
And she just done Bugsy Malone with Alan Parker.
1170
00:48:17.219 --> 00:48:17.460
Yeah.
1171
00:48:17.500 --> 00:48:21.440
So, you know, it was a long time ago. People
1172
00:48:21.500 --> 00:48:24.769
don't understand how long it takes. And the Securitas Roots,
1173
00:48:24.849 --> 00:48:27.250
it's a musical for a while. Now it's an animated series.
1174
00:48:28.119 --> 00:48:29.219
Yeah, no, it's very true.
1175
00:48:29.239 --> 00:48:30.619
It was all going to be done with cats for
1176
00:48:30.639 --> 00:48:30.929
a while.
1177
00:48:30.969 --> 00:48:35.750
Yes, well, they haven't ruled that out. But it was,
1178
00:48:36.230 --> 00:48:39.650
it reminded me of, I want to be careful with this,
1179
00:48:39.690 --> 00:48:41.849
but it was, there's a sense of it being an
1180
00:48:41.949 --> 00:48:44.679
old-fashioned thriller, which I haven't seen in a very long time,
1181
00:48:44.880 --> 00:48:49.099
where a concept kind of is sometimes overpowering and overwhelming
1182
00:48:49.619 --> 00:48:51.900
in certain productions these days. And what I just loved
1183
00:48:51.940 --> 00:48:54.389
was that you have two people who are basically intrigued
1184
00:48:54.409 --> 00:48:58.550
with each other and therefore begins a very gripping and
1185
00:48:58.670 --> 00:49:03.949
thrilling cat and mouse game. It's old-fashioned thriller tension. And
1186
00:49:04.110 --> 00:49:07.010
I love that about it. Because when I read it,
1187
00:49:07.010 --> 00:49:08.329
it did the same thing that it does when you
1188
00:49:08.349 --> 00:49:10.289
watch it. You go, oh my God, how is this
1189
00:49:10.329 --> 00:49:10.929
going to unfold?
1190
00:49:11.070 --> 00:49:12.809
Yeah, that's how I felt reading that script for the
1191
00:49:12.829 --> 00:49:16.809
first time. The fact that Howard Gordon is the brain
1192
00:49:16.869 --> 00:49:20.500
behind this, Well, also.
1193
00:49:20.579 --> 00:49:22.960
You know, when I said, when obviously it was Clay's project,
1194
00:49:23.159 --> 00:49:25.829
so when they said, you know, Claire Danes, Howard Gordon,
1195
00:49:25.989 --> 00:49:27.949
you know, the Homeland team are back together.
1196
00:49:27.989 --> 00:49:29.469
And as soon as you hear that, you're like, okay,
1197
00:49:29.489 --> 00:49:29.739
I'm in.
1198
00:49:30.030 --> 00:49:31.820
And then they said, we didn't ask you.
1199
00:49:32.039 --> 00:49:33.780
I was like, I know, but I'm still in.
1200
00:49:34.000 --> 00:49:35.980
Do you just crash meetings and go, I'm in? Yeah,
1201
00:49:36.000 --> 00:49:37.360
and they go, who is that?
1202
00:49:38.500 --> 00:49:38.739
Yes.
1203
00:49:38.920 --> 00:49:39.940
Stop saying that.
1204
00:49:40.059 --> 00:49:40.400
I'm in.
1205
00:49:40.539 --> 00:49:43.119
Yeah, yes. You somehow got into this room. You know
1206
00:49:43.139 --> 00:49:43.579
what's funny?
1207
00:49:43.639 --> 00:49:46.820
I've heard you say in... I think I've heard you
1208
00:49:46.860 --> 00:49:48.610
say in more than one interview, oh, I'm not an
1209
00:49:48.639 --> 00:49:49.530
A-list actor.
1210
00:49:49.869 --> 00:49:50.210
I don't know.
1211
00:49:50.269 --> 00:49:52.789
I think of you, I think of you, I don't know.
1212
00:49:53.269 --> 00:49:56.030
Maybe actors think about that more than anyone else, but
1213
00:49:56.070 --> 00:49:59.130
I don't see why anyone wouldn't want you first and
1214
00:49:59.170 --> 00:50:01.590
foremost for something. Because you're money in the bank.
1215
00:50:01.630 --> 00:50:04.230
Money in the bank. You're 70% in the bank.
1216
00:50:04.269 --> 00:50:06.360
What I want to start, what I want to start, okay,
1217
00:50:06.699 --> 00:50:09.159
is in showbiz parties, just going up to other actors going,
1218
00:50:09.219 --> 00:50:09.820
what letter are you?
1219
00:50:10.159 --> 00:50:12.480
What letter are you? A? Are you A? A or B.
1220
00:50:12.699 --> 00:50:12.920
Yes.
1221
00:50:13.019 --> 00:50:16.619
But really, how many A's are there anymore? A-list. I mean, truly.
1222
00:50:16.659 --> 00:50:17.400
I don't know what it even means.
1223
00:50:17.420 --> 00:50:18.320
I would say five.
1224
00:50:18.860 --> 00:50:19.320
Who are they?
1225
00:50:19.429 --> 00:50:19.949
I don't know.
1226
00:50:20.570 --> 00:50:22.510
I don't know. See, that's what you... Biz Clipler.
1227
00:50:22.909 --> 00:50:23.469
Your good old Biz.
1228
00:50:23.510 --> 00:50:24.070
Chaz Maloney.
1229
00:50:24.150 --> 00:50:24.409
Yeah.
1230
00:50:24.909 --> 00:50:25.389
Crazy Chaz.
1231
00:50:25.429 --> 00:50:26.110
Sass Datarack.
1232
00:50:26.190 --> 00:50:26.889
Is he still around?
1233
00:50:26.989 --> 00:50:27.670
Sheila McGee.
1234
00:50:27.829 --> 00:50:28.530
Sheila McGee.
1235
00:50:29.110 --> 00:50:29.349
See?
1236
00:50:29.389 --> 00:50:30.409
It doesn't mean anything anymore.
1237
00:50:30.449 --> 00:50:30.789
No, I know.
1238
00:50:30.869 --> 00:50:31.750
But who, like.
1239
00:50:32.670 --> 00:50:34.010
Meryl. Meryl Streep. A.
1240
00:50:34.239 --> 00:50:36.460
Meryl Streep. A. Harrison Ford. A.
1241
00:50:36.699 --> 00:50:36.880
No.
1242
00:50:37.059 --> 00:50:37.480
He's fallen terribly.
1243
00:50:37.539 --> 00:50:37.659
Why?
1244
00:50:37.699 --> 00:50:38.639
Because he's gone to TV.
1245
00:50:39.179 --> 00:50:41.219
I think he's on radio now. He's doing ads.
1246
00:50:41.239 --> 00:50:41.320
Yeah.
1247
00:50:42.530 --> 00:50:44.230
He said, go to that car wash.
1248
00:50:44.289 --> 00:50:45.489
It's a good one.
1249
00:50:46.329 --> 00:50:47.809
If you need to land a bike lane on a
1250
00:50:47.849 --> 00:50:51.150
golf course. But I think, but it's very personal. It's,
1251
00:50:51.289 --> 00:50:53.530
you know, Merrill, it doesn't matter what your opinion is.
1252
00:50:53.610 --> 00:50:56.409
She's up there. Always A. And yeah, and Harrison Ford, yes. A.
1253
00:50:56.730 --> 00:50:58.210
He walks on screen, you go, oh my God, because
1254
00:50:58.230 --> 00:51:01.170
you've grown up with these. Some of that too is longevity.
1255
00:51:01.210 --> 00:51:01.969
You've grown up with them.
1256
00:51:02.110 --> 00:51:02.269
Yes.
1257
00:51:02.289 --> 00:51:03.309
You're still a young lad.
1258
00:51:03.329 --> 00:51:04.210
Stop your whiz.
1259
00:51:05.489 --> 00:51:06.329
Stop your ways.
1260
00:51:06.389 --> 00:51:07.769
Tom Cruise, another A.
1261
00:51:07.989 --> 00:51:08.719
Yeah, sure.
1262
00:51:09.019 --> 00:51:11.639
People who basically, when they walk on screen, you feel
1263
00:51:11.940 --> 00:51:15.019
safe or comfortable because you go, oh, we're okay now.
1264
00:51:15.420 --> 00:51:19.449
Right, but I think it's increasingly maybe an irrelevant term.
1265
00:51:19.869 --> 00:51:21.070
Everything's so fractured now.
1266
00:51:21.130 --> 00:51:21.369
Yes.
1267
00:51:21.469 --> 00:51:24.849
We used to walk into the old movie palaces and
1268
00:51:24.929 --> 00:51:29.909
buy our popcorn and our sody pop. And we'd sit
1269
00:51:29.929 --> 00:51:32.389
there and we'd watch the golden legends up on the screen.
1270
00:51:32.409 --> 00:51:35.130
Those days are over. We're watching things on an airplane.
1271
00:51:35.150 --> 00:51:38.300
We're watching things on little screens on their phones. I
1272
00:51:38.340 --> 00:51:40.860
watch all the Academy-nominated movies on my phone.
1273
00:51:40.880 --> 00:51:41.300
No, you don't.
1274
00:51:41.320 --> 00:51:43.360
And sometimes I think, that's still too big. And I
1275
00:51:43.420 --> 00:51:45.139
crack the phone in half and I watch it then.
1276
00:51:45.360 --> 00:51:46.139
Through one eye.
1277
00:51:46.780 --> 00:51:49.170
Through one little, my squinty eye. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1278
00:51:49.250 --> 00:51:50.969
Which one today? Yeah, exactly.
1279
00:51:51.010 --> 00:51:52.389
I'll use the left for this one.
1280
00:51:52.409 --> 00:51:52.869
Oh, yes.
1281
00:51:52.889 --> 00:51:53.829
It's what they deserve.
1282
00:51:53.849 --> 00:51:56.170
So, yeah. And also, we've Instagrammed, you know, we've read
1283
00:51:56.210 --> 00:51:58.869
on Instagram what they've had for lunch, so there's no mystery.
1284
00:51:58.909 --> 00:51:59.650
The mystery's gone.
1285
00:51:59.849 --> 00:52:01.590
Well, that's why you should stop telling people what you've
1286
00:52:01.610 --> 00:52:04.139
had for lunch. Why? People love it. I had an
1287
00:52:04.219 --> 00:52:05.360
egg mayonnaise sandwich just.
1288
00:52:05.219 --> 00:52:05.920
Before I came in.
1289
00:52:07.280 --> 00:52:10.300
I'm 30 seconds from a heart attack. Stay off the
1290
00:52:10.380 --> 00:52:11.679
egg mayonnaise sandwiches for God's sake.
1291
00:52:11.699 --> 00:52:12.019
No, I won't.
1292
00:52:12.039 --> 00:52:14.280
Damn you. You'll do as you're told. No, I won't.
1293
00:52:14.360 --> 00:52:16.019
It's the devil's work and I love the devil.
1294
00:52:17.320 --> 00:52:19.179
I just want to rent a cabin with you so
1295
00:52:19.199 --> 00:52:20.300
we can just yell at each other.
1296
00:52:20.340 --> 00:52:20.409
Yes.
1297
00:52:20.699 --> 00:52:21.619
Nothing sexual.
1298
00:52:21.699 --> 00:52:21.880
No.
1299
00:52:22.320 --> 00:52:24.900
At first. But then we're just yelling at each other.
1300
00:52:25.199 --> 00:52:27.500
Damn you, I'll have your eyes. You know, it's just
1301
00:52:27.579 --> 00:52:28.860
you and I yelling at each other.
1302
00:52:28.880 --> 00:52:30.360
It's basically Muncie on the bounty.
1303
00:52:30.420 --> 00:52:31.139
Yes.
1304
00:52:31.539 --> 00:52:34.599
But we're both vying for who plays Captain Bly.
1305
00:52:34.619 --> 00:52:37.539
Who's Bly, yeah. Damn your eyesight! I feel terrible for
1306
00:52:37.639 --> 00:52:39.849
one man right now, and that's, his name is Eduardo.
1307
00:52:40.010 --> 00:52:41.789
Eduardo does all of, I don't know if you can
1308
00:52:41.809 --> 00:52:43.829
hear us, Eduardo. I hope you can. Is he doing this?
1309
00:52:44.130 --> 00:52:45.969
He is doing all the mixing right now.
1310
00:52:45.989 --> 00:52:46.429
Oh, God.
1311
00:52:46.630 --> 00:52:49.929
And I think his board is probably on fire.
1312
00:52:49.949 --> 00:52:50.650
Is that what we can smell?
1313
00:52:50.670 --> 00:52:53.099
Because you've got a Welshman and an Irishman screaming at
1314
00:52:53.119 --> 00:52:56.380
each other. Out shouting. Into these very sensitive microphones.
1315
00:52:57.340 --> 00:52:58.619
He'll have tinnitus for life.
1316
00:52:58.800 --> 00:52:59.260
Exactly.
1317
00:52:59.300 --> 00:53:00.519
But he'll think of us.
1318
00:53:00.760 --> 00:53:02.219
Yeah, and he'll know how to say tinnitus.
1319
00:53:02.400 --> 00:53:02.599
And write.
1320
00:53:02.619 --> 00:53:03.219
Which most people don't.
1321
00:53:03.239 --> 00:53:04.059
Oh, do you say tinnitus?
1322
00:53:04.320 --> 00:53:06.690
I don't even say it anymore because I can't pronounce
1323
00:53:06.710 --> 00:53:08.489
things over the ringing in my ear. Do you have it?
1324
00:53:08.590 --> 00:53:08.949
I have it.
1325
00:53:08.949 --> 00:53:09.150
Sorry, what?
1326
00:53:09.170 --> 00:53:09.750
I have it all the time.
1327
00:53:09.769 --> 00:53:10.829
What's that? I do.
1328
00:53:10.969 --> 00:53:13.090
I want to get, why did the ear horn go away?
1329
00:53:13.429 --> 00:53:16.380
The old ear trumpet that comes out that people used to,
1330
00:53:16.489 --> 00:53:18.670
in 1920s movies, go, eh?
1331
00:53:18.690 --> 00:53:18.949
Yes.
1332
00:53:19.230 --> 00:53:21.409
I want to get one of those in my dotage.
1333
00:53:21.469 --> 00:53:23.449
And then it'll be selective because you can put it
1334
00:53:23.500 --> 00:53:25.579
to your ear depending on who's talking.
1335
00:53:25.599 --> 00:53:26.679
Yes. At what time.
1336
00:53:26.699 --> 00:53:29.940
So, exactly. Exactly. And with a hearing aid, people don't know,
1337
00:53:30.019 --> 00:53:32.139
but if I have a giant horn that I hold
1338
00:53:32.260 --> 00:53:34.920
up to my ear, it'll be great because I'll be
1339
00:53:34.960 --> 00:53:37.159
listening to someone else and then you'll start to talk
1340
00:53:37.280 --> 00:53:38.760
and I'll put it down.
1341
00:53:39.079 --> 00:53:41.099
Oh, it'll be the ultimate social tool.
1342
00:53:41.219 --> 00:53:44.210
Yes, the ultimate burn that what you're saying means nothing
1343
00:53:44.250 --> 00:53:46.789
to me. It just goes down and it never comes up.
1344
00:53:46.809 --> 00:53:47.550
Slow horn down.
1345
00:53:48.070 --> 00:53:52.170
Yeah, the S-H-T. You got S-H-T'd by, oh, yes. So,
1346
00:53:52.230 --> 00:53:54.570
am I coming back to your house tonight? What's happening?
1347
00:53:54.630 --> 00:53:56.969
Yes, I'd say we'll stop off somewhere for a few
1348
00:53:57.010 --> 00:53:58.869
cold ones and then text Carrie that.
1349
00:53:58.750 --> 00:53:59.170
We're on the way.
1350
00:53:59.190 --> 00:54:02.070
A few cold ones meaning ice for our ass. Yes.
1351
00:54:02.650 --> 00:54:04.380
Two five-pound bags, please.
1352
00:54:04.449 --> 00:54:06.820
Would you like some ice? No, we brought our own. Yes.
1353
00:54:07.019 --> 00:54:09.099
We both blow on our thumbs and it comes shooting out.
1354
00:54:09.139 --> 00:54:09.460
Yeah.
1355
00:54:09.860 --> 00:54:11.519
Oh, come on, David. Grow up.
1356
00:54:11.539 --> 00:54:12.480
It's not the first time.
1357
00:54:12.500 --> 00:54:16.619
Yeah, Jesus Christ. David's had to insert it most of
1358
00:54:16.639 --> 00:54:21.139
the time. Ice me, David. No, sheen me. Sheen me.
1359
00:54:21.179 --> 00:54:23.449
Do you have Mr. Sheen in this country?
1360
00:54:25.510 --> 00:54:27.309
I talked to him on the podcast last week.
1361
00:54:27.349 --> 00:54:27.750
Last week.
1362
00:54:27.889 --> 00:54:28.070
Yeah.
1363
00:54:28.230 --> 00:54:29.869
I don't know when this one, this one's coming out soon,
1364
00:54:29.909 --> 00:54:30.750
isn't it? Okay.
1365
00:54:31.010 --> 00:54:31.210
Yeah.
1366
00:54:31.429 --> 00:54:33.929
So, yes, I talked to the man. He's doing well.
1367
00:54:34.300 --> 00:54:35.980
He's fine. He's in good, fine fettle.
1368
00:54:36.059 --> 00:54:36.320
Great.
1369
00:54:36.739 --> 00:54:37.360
Yeah. Good.
1370
00:54:37.679 --> 00:54:38.980
Your eyes just went dead because I was talking about
1371
00:54:39.000 --> 00:54:39.539
another actor.
1372
00:54:39.699 --> 00:54:39.920
Yes.
1373
00:54:39.980 --> 00:54:40.579
Well, there's three.
1374
00:54:41.139 --> 00:54:47.050
I was actually holding three Sheens in my head. I
1375
00:54:47.110 --> 00:54:50.530
had Charlie Sheen, obviously, his wonderful father.
1376
00:54:50.789 --> 00:54:51.849
Yes, Martin Sheen. Martin.
1377
00:54:52.190 --> 00:54:54.329
And then also Michael Sheen, a fellow Welshman.
1378
00:54:54.670 --> 00:54:55.289
Oh, terrific actor.
1379
00:54:55.309 --> 00:54:57.750
Who is responsible for this one man, Richard Burton, because
1380
00:54:57.789 --> 00:55:00.349
he'd taken over the Welsh National Theatre and said, come and.
1381
00:55:00.289 --> 00:55:01.780
Do something in Wales. And I went, I'll come and
1382
00:55:01.800 --> 00:55:01.980
do it.
1383
00:55:03.559 --> 00:55:04.219
I admire you.
1384
00:55:04.360 --> 00:55:04.980
Well, thank you.
1385
00:55:05.000 --> 00:55:05.250
I admire you.
1386
00:55:05.260 --> 00:55:06.519
I'd like to grow up and be you one day.
1387
00:55:07.090 --> 00:55:11.030
Only I'm older than you. My wife today, she's in
1388
00:55:11.070 --> 00:55:13.619
New York with me, saw that I had a little
1389
00:55:13.719 --> 00:55:16.280
joy in my step today and I said, I'm seeing Mr.
1390
00:55:16.340 --> 00:55:19.670
Matthew Rhys and I couldn't be happier. You are hilariously
1391
00:55:19.750 --> 00:55:22.739
funny and you're a joy to be around. I hear
1392
00:55:22.760 --> 00:55:25.280
you're a monster on set. True. But I wasn't on set,
1393
00:55:25.320 --> 00:55:27.840
so I don't care. And I just wish you all
1394
00:55:27.900 --> 00:55:29.059
good things. I really do.
1395
00:55:29.239 --> 00:55:32.280
Well, thank you very much. I appreciate those words enormously,
1396
00:55:32.420 --> 00:55:33.320
especially coming from you.
1397
00:55:33.719 --> 00:55:34.280
Such a great man.
1398
00:55:34.449 --> 00:55:34.699
Yes.
1399
00:55:34.949 --> 00:55:35.809
Let's elaborate on that.
1400
00:55:35.869 --> 00:55:38.070
I'm sorry. As a great man.
1401
00:55:38.610 --> 00:55:39.710
Maybe the greatest man.
1402
00:55:39.750 --> 00:55:41.650
I was trying to get to that. Possibly the greatest.
1403
00:55:41.670 --> 00:55:42.309
Let's get sooner, sooner.
1404
00:55:42.329 --> 00:55:44.469
Sorry, sorry. The greatest man I've ever met.
1405
00:55:45.130 --> 00:55:46.190
Maybe the greatest comic of all time.
1406
00:55:46.730 --> 00:55:49.420
Well, that goes without question. Why it's written here. Sorry.
1407
00:55:49.519 --> 00:55:51.920
What? We rehearsed this.
1408
00:55:51.940 --> 00:55:53.719
Yes, I'm sorry. What else am I supposed to say again?
1409
00:55:57.260 --> 00:55:58.619
It's all so embarrassing.
1410
00:55:58.679 --> 00:56:00.219
Yes.
1411
00:56:00.449 --> 00:56:01.789
Go with the gods, old friend.
1412
00:56:01.809 --> 00:56:02.150
Thank you.
1413
00:56:02.269 --> 00:56:02.690
Be well.
1414
00:56:02.789 --> 00:56:05.010
Thank you very much. And a joy to be here,
1415
00:56:05.090 --> 00:56:06.409
as always. Thank you for the invite.
1416
00:56:06.829 --> 00:56:07.750
Thank you.
1417
00:56:17.440 --> 00:56:21.199
Good nights are about the people, the laughs, the real
1418
00:56:21.239 --> 00:56:22.360
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subject to availability, participation varies.
1439
00:57:40.500 --> 00:57:42.630
Last week, we were doing a State of the Podcast,
1440
00:57:42.789 --> 00:57:45.340
and it got sidetracked by Sona and the Brazilian buttlift.
1441
00:57:45.670 --> 00:57:47.489
which is not a new Indiana Jones movie.
1442
00:57:47.630 --> 00:57:50.570
But it is a children's story. It's a children's book
1443
00:57:50.630 --> 00:57:54.429
coming out soon. And Sona and the Brazilian butt lift. Mommy,
1444
00:57:54.449 --> 00:57:58.050
that's my favorite book. This is part two where we
1445
00:57:58.070 --> 00:57:59.789
do intend to. So Adam, we interrupted you because you
1446
00:57:59.809 --> 00:58:01.789
were listing our incredible.
1447
00:58:01.449 --> 00:58:01.949
Accolades and successes.
1448
00:58:01.969 --> 00:58:02.929
We had a ton of accolades, which I went through.
1449
00:58:03.010 --> 00:58:04.840
And I got embarrassed and we got off track.
1450
00:58:05.050 --> 00:58:08.159
Lots of awards, great guests. And I was talking about
1451
00:58:08.199 --> 00:58:10.139
how we've started doing full.
1452
00:58:10.579 --> 00:58:12.000
Lots of awards.
1453
00:58:12.340 --> 00:58:13.500
A major award.
1454
00:58:15.969 --> 00:58:18.489
We started doing a full length video in May and
1455
00:58:18.650 --> 00:58:21.050
numbers are great. And again, the concern was, is it
1456
00:58:21.309 --> 00:58:23.710
incremental audience or are we just taking people away from
1457
00:58:23.929 --> 00:58:27.809
the podcasting? Now, the interesting thing is on the history
1458
00:58:27.949 --> 00:58:31.449
of the sort of the podcast delivery has been RSS.
1459
00:58:31.869 --> 00:58:33.510
So you know what that is?
1460
00:58:33.550 --> 00:58:34.139
No, I don't.
1461
00:58:34.389 --> 00:58:36.480
When people have listened to podcasts in the past and
1462
00:58:36.579 --> 00:58:39.760
use the podcast app, you're getting an RSS feed delivering
1463
00:58:39.780 --> 00:58:42.239
you the podcast and you have to subscribe to that, right?
1464
00:58:42.280 --> 00:58:44.880
So subscribers to the podcast will get the podcast every week.
1465
00:58:45.340 --> 00:58:48.760
And we have built up a huge audience in podcasting
1466
00:58:48.860 --> 00:58:51.519
over the past seven years on the podcast app.
1467
00:58:51.599 --> 00:58:52.440
People have subscribed.
1468
00:58:52.980 --> 00:58:56.780
The interesting thing about YouTube is we have a very
1469
00:58:56.880 --> 00:58:59.820
large YouTube channel, over 9 million subscribers on YouTube.
1470
00:59:00.159 --> 00:59:01.659
When we put out- Unrelated to the podcast.
1471
00:59:01.699 --> 00:59:02.590
Completely unrelated.
1472
00:59:02.610 --> 00:59:06.110
That's Conan content from before you chimps entered the picture.
1473
00:59:06.130 --> 00:59:06.690
That's very true.
1474
00:59:06.750 --> 00:59:10.800
That was built on TBS content and- lots of great-
1475
00:59:10.820 --> 00:59:13.590
One man's dream. Or keeping him subscribed.
1476
00:59:13.949 --> 00:59:16.630
But the interesting thing about YouTube is when we put
1477
00:59:16.670 --> 00:59:19.530
a podcast video on that channel that has 9 million
1478
00:59:19.550 --> 00:59:23.760
subscribers- About half of the views to our podcast video
1479
00:59:24.050 --> 00:59:28.210
come from non-subscribers, meaning that YouTube has.
1480
00:59:29.210 --> 00:59:30.940
Algorithmically suckered those bitches in.
1481
00:59:30.949 --> 00:59:34.440
Algorithmically is exactly the word. YouTube is serving our content
1482
00:59:34.460 --> 00:59:36.630
to people who... didn't subscribe.
1483
00:59:36.869 --> 00:59:39.599
Who actively dislike me? I mean, I doubt it.
1484
00:59:39.639 --> 00:59:41.360
I think YouTube thinks that they will, that they're going
1485
00:59:41.380 --> 00:59:43.380
to like this content. And so it's sharing the content
1486
00:59:43.420 --> 00:59:46.400
more and more, which is actually awesome because it's growing our, the,
1487
00:59:46.760 --> 00:59:50.199
the pod, the old legacy podcast is a very deliberate act.
1488
00:59:50.219 --> 00:59:52.400
You know, you had to subscribe, then you get your podcasts.
1489
00:59:52.670 --> 00:59:55.349
This is like we're growing our audience on YouTube because
1490
00:59:55.489 --> 00:59:58.590
all these people who didn't already subscribe are getting fed
1491
00:59:58.630 --> 01:00:00.170
the content and watching the content.
1492
01:00:00.230 --> 01:00:01.690
So we're an invasive weed.
1493
01:00:03.969 --> 01:00:06.360
Best description I've ever heard of this podcast.
1494
01:00:07.400 --> 01:00:10.139
Is Conan going to be like a YouTube personality, though?
1495
01:00:10.179 --> 01:00:12.860
Should he be like, hey, smash that like button?
1496
01:00:13.000 --> 01:00:14.679
I mean, yes, we probably.
1497
01:00:15.099 --> 01:00:16.639
The crazy thing is, and we talked about this a
1498
01:00:16.639 --> 01:00:18.789
little bit on the last time, but like, Podcast, because
1499
01:00:18.829 --> 01:00:22.309
podcasts are becoming so, are distributed so much on YouTube,
1500
01:00:22.650 --> 01:00:26.329
as a billion people a month are watching podcasts on YouTube,
1501
01:00:26.469 --> 01:00:29.300
which is a crazy number. The sort of podcast world
1502
01:00:29.389 --> 01:00:31.659
and the YouTuber world, Sona, that you're talking about, they're
1503
01:00:31.679 --> 01:00:34.579
kind of merging. Like podcasters and YouTubers are all part
1504
01:00:34.599 --> 01:00:37.159
of this larger creator economy now.
1505
01:00:37.519 --> 01:00:40.719
And you're there. It's hilarious that no one has sat
1506
01:00:40.739 --> 01:00:43.219
me down, including you, and talked to me about any
1507
01:00:43.260 --> 01:00:43.599
of this.
1508
01:00:43.900 --> 01:00:44.099
Mm-hmm.
1509
01:00:45.400 --> 01:00:47.179
That's what this is for.
1510
01:00:47.280 --> 01:00:48.159
This is what this is.
1511
01:00:48.320 --> 01:00:48.699
I know.
1512
01:00:48.719 --> 01:00:49.239
I know.
1513
01:00:50.170 --> 01:00:52.170
We can't sit you down unless there's a microphone in
1514
01:00:52.190 --> 01:00:52.590
front of you.
1515
01:00:53.170 --> 01:00:57.829
Or a camera, it turns out. That's incredible.
1516
01:00:57.969 --> 01:00:59.980
You should become more of like a YouTuber, like do
1517
01:01:00.000 --> 01:01:02.460
some pranks and like unbox stuff.
1518
01:01:02.960 --> 01:01:05.119
I'm going to start unboxing stuff.
1519
01:01:05.320 --> 01:01:07.219
Here, drink this urine.
1520
01:01:11.260 --> 01:01:14.519
I don't even know enough about YouTube stuff. I don't either.
1521
01:01:14.880 --> 01:01:17.000
Well, I will say, Conan, sorry to interrupt you. But
1522
01:01:17.320 --> 01:01:19.880
the other, the thing that you've joked about a bunch now,
1523
01:01:20.139 --> 01:01:23.119
which is becoming more and more true, is that you're
1524
01:01:23.260 --> 01:01:26.130
back to hosting a late night show. Because not only
1525
01:01:26.190 --> 01:01:29.130
is YouTube the number one destination for people to listen
1526
01:01:29.170 --> 01:01:31.949
to podcasts, it's also the number one streaming platform now.
1527
01:01:32.090 --> 01:01:34.530
And the number one thing that people are watching on
1528
01:01:34.570 --> 01:01:37.429
TV in their living rooms. So you have essentially just
1529
01:01:37.530 --> 01:01:38.389
gone back and created.
1530
01:01:38.269 --> 01:01:40.150
Another talk show. I make this show repeatedly, but it's
1531
01:01:40.210 --> 01:01:44.409
so funny to me that I deliberately left late night
1532
01:01:44.550 --> 01:01:48.349
after 28 years. I loved it. I enjoyed every second.
1533
01:01:48.469 --> 01:01:50.510
I said, that's good. I'm going to go now. I'm
1534
01:01:51.610 --> 01:01:53.699
going to do my little podcast. I'm going to do
1535
01:01:53.739 --> 01:01:58.780
my little travel show for HBO Max. I hope they
1536
01:01:58.800 --> 01:02:00.679
always call it HBO Max and don't start messing with
1537
01:02:00.719 --> 01:02:05.690
the name. Uh-oh. And then... Everything, you know, that was it.
1538
01:02:06.909 --> 01:02:09.909
And I'll work on my body at the request of everyone.
1539
01:02:10.340 --> 01:02:12.030
And then this body.
1540
01:02:12.449 --> 01:02:12.679
What?
1541
01:02:12.929 --> 01:02:15.099
Well, people said you've got to fix that body. That
1542
01:02:15.139 --> 01:02:16.519
was the big thing I heard. I don't like the
1543
01:02:16.539 --> 01:02:17.820
way you worded it. It's weird.
1544
01:02:18.280 --> 01:02:18.639
Body.
1545
01:02:19.019 --> 01:02:23.199
Anyway, now we're doing this podcast and it keeps growing
1546
01:02:23.699 --> 01:02:25.519
and people started to say things like we should do
1547
01:02:25.559 --> 01:02:27.760
some in front of an audience. And if there's an audience,
1548
01:02:27.820 --> 01:02:29.860
we should have Jimmy Vino there and some band and
1549
01:02:30.119 --> 01:02:31.860
other people in the band. It'd be really funny if
1550
01:02:31.900 --> 01:02:33.920
you came out first and warmed up the crowd. Now
1551
01:02:34.460 --> 01:02:36.539
you should do a monologue and then call out the
1552
01:02:36.559 --> 01:02:40.320
other guys and do the podcast. Hey, it'd be really
1553
01:02:40.340 --> 01:02:42.610
good if we put this up on YouTube. And now
1554
01:02:42.650 --> 01:02:44.289
people are telling me, I love your show. And I'm like,
1555
01:02:44.309 --> 01:02:47.829
it's not a show. It's a little podcast, but it
1556
01:02:47.869 --> 01:02:50.929
doesn't matter to me. It's fun. It's organic. We're having
1557
01:02:50.949 --> 01:02:55.219
a blast. I'm not asking, I'm telling you. Yeah. It's
1558
01:02:55.280 --> 01:02:59.719
really enjoyable. And all joking aside, you're not going to
1559
01:02:59.760 --> 01:03:03.539
like this, but we have a secret sauce here with
1560
01:03:03.760 --> 01:03:07.480
you guys. It's a really nice environment. I never know
1561
01:03:07.500 --> 01:03:10.300
what's going to happen. I'd be miserable if I was
1562
01:03:10.340 --> 01:03:13.880
here alone. And you guys are really funny. And this
1563
01:03:13.960 --> 01:03:15.639
is lovely. I'm having a really good time. I'll drink
1564
01:03:15.679 --> 01:03:17.909
some urine to that. Yeah. That's very nice of you
1565
01:03:17.929 --> 01:03:19.840
to say. Thank you. It's all led by you, boss.
1566
01:03:19.860 --> 01:03:20.239
There you go.
1567
01:03:21.619 --> 01:03:22.739
Oh, man.
1568
01:03:22.840 --> 01:03:25.309
You ruined it. You shouldn't have handed it back to me.
1569
01:03:25.429 --> 01:03:28.030
I know, but you were being sincere, so I was
1570
01:03:28.090 --> 01:03:29.849
sincere back to you. I was so sincere to get
1571
01:03:29.869 --> 01:03:31.690
you to hand it back to me. Yes, I lead
1572
01:03:31.710 --> 01:03:33.789
the way and it would never happen without me. Well,
1573
01:03:34.130 --> 01:03:35.909
that's it for the state of the show. Adam, this
1574
01:03:35.949 --> 01:03:38.190
has been a good pep talk. Thank you. And also,
1575
01:03:38.570 --> 01:03:42.010
thank you to Adam. Yeah, thank you. His leadership, his
1576
01:03:42.329 --> 01:03:46.269
common sense. Of course, Eduardo, always there working the knobs,
1577
01:03:46.789 --> 01:03:50.409
guiding us at the helm of taking care of us
1578
01:03:50.510 --> 01:03:53.190
blaze shouting into the microphone things we don't need to
1579
01:03:53.250 --> 01:03:57.300
hear um uh just what a lovely lovely it's a
1580
01:03:57.400 --> 01:04:00.280
fun group it's a fun group it's a highlight of
1581
01:04:00.320 --> 01:04:01.639
my day every day it's.
1582
01:04:01.579 --> 01:04:04.099
Did did you hear anything about the advertisers mad that
1583
01:04:04.119 --> 01:04:06.039
we talk still a lot about like a lot of
1584
01:04:06.059 --> 01:04:07.119
jizz and stuff.
1585
01:04:07.039 --> 01:04:09.340
Like they don't mind they don't mind no they don't
1586
01:04:09.360 --> 01:04:11.949
mind now we're getting yeah now we're getting uh jizz
1587
01:04:12.030 --> 01:04:13.210
only i was.
1588
01:04:12.829 --> 01:04:15.469
Gonna say your sponsorship is jizz monthly yeah yeah it's
1589
01:04:15.630 --> 01:04:17.590
appropriate The magazine?
1590
01:04:17.610 --> 01:04:20.170
The jizzinator. If you shot some jizz and you don't
1591
01:04:20.190 --> 01:04:22.460
know where it is, use the jizzinator. We won the
1592
01:04:22.500 --> 01:04:26.840
jizzy for best podcast. We won the jizzy. And you
1593
01:04:26.880 --> 01:04:30.119
beat Jizz Taylor. Yeah, yeah. And we've been invited to
1594
01:04:30.159 --> 01:04:34.119
New Orleans Jizz Fest. And trust me, you gotta wear
1595
01:04:34.159 --> 01:04:37.690
a raincoat to that thing. Stay out of the podcast.
1596
01:04:37.730 --> 01:04:38.690
Stronger than ever.
1597
01:04:42.800 --> 01:04:46.570
Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian,
1598
01:04:46.829 --> 01:04:50.949
and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced
1599
01:04:50.989 --> 01:04:54.719
by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song
1600
01:04:54.739 --> 01:04:58.039
by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.
1601
01:04:58.619 --> 01:04:59.480
Take it away, Jimmy.
1602
01:05:03.119 --> 01:05:06.289
Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair. And our associate talent
1603
01:05:06.309 --> 01:05:10.030
producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez
1604
01:05:10.110 --> 01:05:14.070
and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent
1605
01:05:14.090 --> 01:05:17.300
booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn. You
1606
01:05:17.320 --> 01:05:19.880
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Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline
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Don't miss out on Cash & Carry Kitchens' free fitting
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offer which ends on September 26th. For a limited time,
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you can save hundreds of euro on all our kitchens.
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Any style, any colour, any size. The choice is yours,
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but the fitting is on us. For free fitting on
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or visit one of our 17 showrooms nationwide. Cash &
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Carry Kitchens. Create something more. Proud to be guaranteed Irish.
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terms and conditions apply.