Adam Sandler

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at weireland.ie today. How was school, Pat?
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We were learning all about France and Joan of Arc
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and the Eiffel Tower and how they speak.
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Bonjour, Mama!
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We all know how important school is for children's learning,
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friendships and overall development. But one in five children are
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missing a month or more of their school year. And
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is a new day. Visit gov.ie forward slash school attendance.
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An initiative of the Government of Ireland.
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Hi, my name is Adam Sandler, and I feel... stunned
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about being Conan O'Brien's friend.
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Fall is here, hear the yell Back to school, ring
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the bell.
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Brand new shoes, walkin' loose.
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Climb the fence, books and pens I can tell that
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we are gonna be friends I can tell that we
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are gonna be friends.
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Hey there, and welcome to a very special episode of
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Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. Today I'm talking to someone
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I've known for a really, really long time. And the
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truth is, we are friends. We've known each other since
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we both got started way, way, way back in the day.
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And so today, a conversation with a good friend of mine.
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I can tell.
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That we are gonna be friends Adam Sandler. You know,
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we have been friends for a really long time. I
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met you when you came to Saturday Night Live. I
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was working there.
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Yes.
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I remember you.
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You and Odenkirk.
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Me, Odenkirk, Smigel, and Greg Daniels all shared one back
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part of the office.
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Yes.
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And you would come in.
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Very cocksure.
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Okay. That's exactly what I wanted to talk about. you
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were the most confident young man I've ever been in
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my life.
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Yes.
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And I admire that.
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Thank you.
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It was just, just sheer drive and a little, mostly
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stupidity that made me that way. But I was, I was, yeah,
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certainly went for the lab. I was competing with Farley,
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by the way.
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Yes. I remember thinking I envied you so much because
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I'm a little old. I'm a couple of years older
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than you, but I was still young and, But it
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took me years and years and years and years to
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grow my confidence, just years and years and years. And
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you came out of the gate confident and you had
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the goods. But I remember thinking, how do you get that?
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How do you come from, you know... being this kid
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from this town in New Hampshire. Right. Right over the
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border to, yeah, I got this. I got this. This
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is what I should be doing. How do you, how
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did you, where did that come from? Is that your dad?
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Is your mom?
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Well, my dad and mom always were very, you know,
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telling me I was good at stuff. They were, and
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they always loved me and had my back. They talked
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about how good I could be at things. You know,
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my father was definitely... It gave me, you know, realism
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of what I'm not good at, too. But they definitely
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told me, you know, you can do this. You can
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play guitar. You can play. You can sing. You can,
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you know, you can't dance. And I tried to dance
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a little bit to be the triple threat that my
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grandmother said I should be.
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And then they said to eliminate the dancing and concentrate
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on the dance. So you lost the dance. Yeah, I
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lost the dance. But I was nuts. I was certainly...
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And I think it was just I told so.
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Many friends in New Hampshire when I left to be
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a comedian that I was going to be huge.
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I said, I'm going to be huge, man. I'm going
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to be huge.
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And I would put myself in a corner. Like, it's
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getting bigger. People are starting to notice. And no one
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was noticing, really. But I was, like, saying all this
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stuff to my hometown kid buddies that how everyone's talking
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about me and they weren't talking about me.
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But I just put some weird thing in my head. Like,
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I got to get this done, man.
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See, I heard a story. A friend of mine witnessed this,
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a stand-up comedian, Ron Richards, a guy I knew from
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years and years and years ago when I was first
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starting out. And Ron Richards told me that he was
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in a club when Eddie Murphy was just starting out.
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And nobody showed up that night. There was no one
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in the audience. And all the other comics were pissed
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and angry and saying, this is ridiculous, fuck this. And
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a lot of them left. Ron Richards stuck around. Eddie
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Murphy went out, I don't know if he was like 17, 18,
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and did his whole set out there for nobody. And
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when I heard that story, I was thinking about that
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story the other day, and I thought, I think Adam
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would do that. I think you would just be one
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of those people that like, well, if there's one person
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in the audience... I'm going out there and doing it
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because I'm going places. I got stuff to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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This is what they've come to see. That's funny.
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It takes a level of confidence that, and in your
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ability to be able to say to your friends in
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New Hampshire, I didn't say anything to anybody.
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Oh, really?
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No, I never said, hey. keep your eye on me
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this kid's going places i always kept my cards close
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to my chest i like that.
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Better that's the better place to be yeah i know.
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I did it out of fear and cover hedging my
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bet like i don't want to be able later on
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to have flamed out and.
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Have people say right what happened but that's the smarter
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way to do it that's why i'm saying i was
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kind of stupid i had a big mouth i i
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would say you know make comments about myself when i
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was so young i was 17 when i started And
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I was just telling people when I went to NYU
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my first year, I would tell my friends like, yeah,
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we're picking up steam.
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People are starting to.
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Who's we, by the way? That's the other thing. What
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I love about this is that you have an entourage
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in your mind, you know?
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Me and the Sandman are picking up steam. Yeah, yeah.
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I don't know. We are going places. Who did you see?
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There's going to be other guys here soon.
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Just have a lot of seats available for me and
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all of us. But, yeah, I don't know, Conan.
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I was psychotic because I do remember telling Lorne when
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I was with you in the first couple of weeks. Right.
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And sitting down, you know, you first get the show
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and then you sit down and talk to Lorne. I
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remember telling Lorne, hey, I'm going.
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To be huge.
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And he was staring at me like I was nuts.
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I was like, you know, I'm going to be the
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next Eddie. I just came with a big mouth and–
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You know, I was just hanging out with a bunch
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of comedians before, and they were like, you never, my
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act was never cocky.
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I was never cocky. No.
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But my, I don't know, I positioned myself in my head.
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I got to do this. I got to do that.
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I gave myself a ultimatum or something.
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And my father, I remember, used to say, if you
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don't make it by 23, or he gave me an age,
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he goes, you'll come work for me.
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And i remember what did your dad do for i
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met your dad and i knew your dad but i
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don't what did.
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He do electrical contracting okay he did that in in
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massachusetts in westford mass and uh and i remember going
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okay good i have that and uh but then i
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and then i would start going oh 23 i better
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hurry up i gotta get this done before i i
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i wasn't upset about having to work electrical contract i
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thought i i didn't even think about that i was
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just more upset about having to tell the guys in
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New Hampshire I didn't make it. So that's why I
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was like, I gotta really figure this out quick. I
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had a time ticking in my head.
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I'm going to put this in context because at the
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time there were all these other young people that came in, funny,
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talented young people. And people would think of them as
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being hyper-confident now, but at that time they weren't. Like
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I have a very clear memory of Chris Rock. And
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Chris Rock, when he showed up at SNL, was very quiet.
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And very kind of, you know, tentative. And he'd come
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around at night and he wasn't sure he had the
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right idea. And he would peek his head in and go, hey, guys,
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what are you working on? You know, he wasn't the
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Chris Rock that we know now. He had the talent,
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but he hadn't built up that confident stage persona that
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he needed. Spade was another guy who was walking around
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kind of asking people, what are you guys working on?
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Anybody have any ideas for me? Okay, I'll go away now.
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All right.
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Hope I didn't offend anybody.
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They were nice.
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Well, you know, they were testing the ice to see
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if it would. And you were incredibly different. You were very,
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you know, you knew what you had. You weren't worried
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about it. Or you didn't let us think you were
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worried about it.
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Right, right.
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Yeah, I don't even think I was worried about it then.
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I worry more now about, oh, man. what do I
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got to do?
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If I take a part in a movie, I'm terrified
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that I'm not going to do something right. But back
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then I was like full steam and just, I remember
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when you wrote the, that update for me about the vacation,
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a guy, a guy who, I did, I did this
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thing where I was a travel critic or something. And,
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Just talked about going to hotels and never leaving the hotel.
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Oh, my God.
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Okay.
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You wrote that all for me, man. I couldn't believe
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it because I couldn't write like you. And it was
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my first year. And that was one of my, I
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think that was my first update.
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Wow.
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Okay. And you wrote this giant, hilarious piece.
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And I.
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that kind of influenced in the way I started writing
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for myself. A little odd, a little weird.
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Endings on jokes that seemed like they were going to
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go one way and they went the other way. You
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influenced me there. But I didn't kill with that, but
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that started making me go, okay, that's the style of comedy.
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I want to do.
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Yeah. Can we do another take where he says it
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did kill? It really did kill.
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It only didn't kill because of me. Your stuff was
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the best because I remember Downey loved it. Everybody loved it.
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But I was nervous out there.
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You know, it's interesting. You mentioned taking parts in movies.
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Everyone listening to this right now knows, I mean, you've
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been doing comedy at this hyper successful level for so long.
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One of the points that's always fascinated me is you
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are an excellent actor. You really are a terrific actor.
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And you told me you were sitting in my office
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one night and you told me you loved me, which
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is a different thing to talk about later. We kissed
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a little. We remember when we kissed a little bit.
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Yeah.
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And you put your hand on the nape of my
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neck and I was like, okay, well, there was that. No,
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you told me, you told me, you said, yeah, my hero,
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the person who I, I kind of wanted to be
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growing up was James Caan.
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Oh, right. Yeah.
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You told me that. And at the time I remembered
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not understanding like James Caan, you mean from The Godfather? Right.
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And I'm trying to equate him with this really young,
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super goofy guy. Right. And then I want to say
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about a month ago, I'm flipping channels and I saw
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this 1970s movie, I think where he played an assassin. And,
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you know, he's with Robert Duvall and he plays an
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assassin and they turn on him and then he goes
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00:11:44.679 --> 00:11:47.200
after the guys that turned on him. One of these movies.
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00:11:47.500 --> 00:11:50.940
And it's classic 1970s James Caan. And I'm looking at
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it and I'm like, I get it.
255
00:11:52.340 --> 00:11:52.840
That's funny.
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That you have this intensity. When I've seen you play
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serious roles, you don't have to say much, but the
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eye goes to you and you really know how to
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do it.
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That's cool. I love them.
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And I don't know if I told you, I just
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moved out of here. And I was on the Paramount lot. Oh,
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I worked with MTV. And they were doing Unplugged on
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00:12:14.100 --> 00:12:17.399
the Paramount lot, I think. This story might be off.
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But they're doing Unplugged. Somebody's playing there, some giant band
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00:12:22.870 --> 00:12:26.570
like Nirvana or somebody cool. And I went to see him.
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And as I'm going there, I see James Caan. It's
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before Nirvana. It's because I was young. I was like 22.
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And I'm walking to go see him. whoever the band
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00:12:36.909 --> 00:12:39.029
is and i see james khan and he's in the
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misery makeup yep he's got all this bruised up face
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and all made up and stuff and i see him
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and somebody goes that's james khan i go and i'm
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walking i'm like holy cow i'm about to meet james
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khan because i'm walking past him and i said hey
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00:12:53.039 --> 00:12:55.600
uh mr khan and he's nice and he looked at
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me i go hey i just moved out here i'm
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gonna be an actor and he goes uh oh good
279
00:13:00.799 --> 00:13:04.129
luck that's great and i said My grandmother, because my
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00:13:04.149 --> 00:13:06.889
grandmother used to say it, too. I said, my grandmother
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thinks I'm going to be the next you.
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And he goes, oh, you don't want to do that.
283
00:13:10.090 --> 00:13:17.809
Oh, that's funny.
284
00:13:17.990 --> 00:13:18.730
Yeah.
285
00:13:18.789 --> 00:13:22.009
I guess because he was Jewish, too. It connected with
286
00:13:22.049 --> 00:13:25.009
me like he wanted to be a representative.
287
00:13:25.529 --> 00:13:29.029
Well, he's Jewish. He's tough. He's a badass. And he's
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00:13:29.049 --> 00:13:31.200
the coolest guy in the room. And I think he
289
00:13:31.240 --> 00:13:34.389
slept with the most... Consecutive Playboy Playmates.
290
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Is that right?
291
00:13:35.269 --> 00:13:36.269
I think he has the record.
292
00:13:36.629 --> 00:13:37.190
That's funny.
293
00:13:37.250 --> 00:13:38.389
I could, you know, I just want to put that
294
00:13:38.450 --> 00:13:40.549
out there. James Caan, feel free to call in. I
295
00:13:40.570 --> 00:13:43.149
wish it was a call-in show. Call in if I'm wrong,
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00:13:43.190 --> 00:13:45.090
but I think he has the record for, I think
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00:13:45.110 --> 00:13:47.149
he lived at the Playboy Mansion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And
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00:13:47.230 --> 00:13:50.629
he just kept, it's consecutive months. He just kept getting
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00:13:50.669 --> 00:13:51.110
under his belt.
300
00:13:51.129 --> 00:13:52.110
That's funny. So, yeah.
301
00:13:52.370 --> 00:13:54.710
One of the few guys who, when Burt Reynolds would
302
00:13:54.750 --> 00:13:56.750
hear he's at the mansion, he'd be like, all right,
303
00:13:57.070 --> 00:13:58.070
call me when he's not there.
304
00:13:58.309 --> 00:14:04.580
Yeah. I'm going to settle down a little bit. Here's
305
00:14:04.600 --> 00:14:08.120
what I want to say. The Netflix stand-up special is
306
00:14:08.179 --> 00:14:11.279
one of the finest pieces of work. I was so
307
00:14:11.419 --> 00:14:14.700
happy for you. It is so well put together. It
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00:14:15.279 --> 00:14:19.960
is so beautifully put together as a stand-up special, but
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00:14:20.000 --> 00:14:23.750
I love the way it cuts from rehearsal to massive
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00:14:23.789 --> 00:14:26.809
arena to tiny space again effortlessly.
311
00:14:27.909 --> 00:14:29.769
Uh, and you're having a really good time.
312
00:14:29.990 --> 00:14:30.250
Yeah.
313
00:14:30.289 --> 00:14:30.490
Yeah.
314
00:14:30.549 --> 00:14:32.309
That felt to me like that must've been a labor
315
00:14:32.330 --> 00:14:32.690
of love.
316
00:14:32.950 --> 00:14:35.230
It was, it felt, it's like you right now, I'm
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00:14:35.269 --> 00:14:38.940
sure being on the road again, we were, we know
318
00:14:39.139 --> 00:14:41.139
older than we were back then. I don't know if
319
00:14:41.220 --> 00:14:45.179
I appreciated it as much because I was so much about, uh,
320
00:14:45.299 --> 00:14:47.240
you know, when I was 23, 24 on the road,
321
00:14:47.259 --> 00:14:49.799
I was like, just trying to get stuff done, I guess.
322
00:14:50.000 --> 00:14:50.220
Yeah.
323
00:14:50.279 --> 00:14:52.710
Now I'm on the wrong, I was on the road.
324
00:14:52.799 --> 00:14:53.830
I still try my hardest.
325
00:14:53.870 --> 00:14:55.970
I didn't want to do good stuff, but it was, it's,
326
00:14:56.990 --> 00:14:59.429
Less of like, oh man, if I do this, then
327
00:14:59.470 --> 00:15:01.610
I'll get that. I was more just in the moment
328
00:15:01.649 --> 00:15:04.909
more and enjoying being on stage and trying to write
329
00:15:04.950 --> 00:15:05.769
jokes all night long.
330
00:15:05.809 --> 00:15:06.610
It was fun again.
331
00:15:06.649 --> 00:15:08.129
Like it would be three in the morning and I'd
332
00:15:08.169 --> 00:15:10.529
be writing stuff down on my phone, what I thought
333
00:15:10.590 --> 00:15:11.840
was funny at that moment.
334
00:15:11.909 --> 00:15:12.129
Right.
335
00:15:12.269 --> 00:15:15.620
And just trying it out that night. And that special
336
00:15:15.659 --> 00:15:19.960
was definitely a lot of work. Worked hard putting it together, right? Yes,
337
00:15:19.980 --> 00:15:21.590
you can tell a lot of work went into it.
338
00:15:21.700 --> 00:15:23.200
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
339
00:15:23.340 --> 00:15:27.389
And so many songs. I think the special is, I mean,
340
00:15:27.409 --> 00:15:29.409
maybe 50% music.
341
00:15:29.610 --> 00:15:30.409
Yeah, yeah.
342
00:15:30.509 --> 00:15:34.809
And really enjoy the standup, but then the songs are all.
343
00:15:36.850 --> 00:15:38.129
New, I think. Yes, yes.
344
00:15:38.509 --> 00:15:40.629
And some of them feel like they would take a
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00:15:40.669 --> 00:15:42.830
lot of work to learn how to perform them effortlessly.
346
00:15:42.870 --> 00:15:46.850
Like there's some really, what's the song? I need my keys.
347
00:15:46.929 --> 00:15:49.909
My phone wallet keys. That was tough.
348
00:15:50.129 --> 00:15:52.080
And I'm looking at that and I'm thinking like, okay,
349
00:15:52.100 --> 00:15:56.620
that would take, I would never memorize that. Try and
350
00:15:56.639 --> 00:15:58.320
try and try and get it wrong. It would be
351
00:15:58.360 --> 00:15:59.889
scary to do in front of a lot of people.
352
00:16:00.210 --> 00:16:03.110
Oh, my God, yes. I would actually skip that one
353
00:16:03.149 --> 00:16:05.769
a lot. Like, I'd look back at Dan Bula, the...
354
00:16:06.929 --> 00:16:07.850
piano player.
355
00:16:08.070 --> 00:16:10.509
Who's great, by the way. You guys click really well.
356
00:16:10.809 --> 00:16:13.470
We did it for like two and a half, three years,
357
00:16:13.549 --> 00:16:15.309
ran around together and got to know each other.
358
00:16:15.350 --> 00:16:15.769
I love him.
359
00:16:15.850 --> 00:16:19.169
He wrote a song that, he wrote Phone Wall of Keys,
360
00:16:19.210 --> 00:16:22.000
by the way. And he also wrote a song that
361
00:16:22.029 --> 00:16:24.700
I played on your show about my old chair and.
362
00:16:24.799 --> 00:16:27.279
Giving away my old chair. I did it like two
363
00:16:27.320 --> 00:16:27.759
years ago.
364
00:16:28.360 --> 00:16:32.080
And I said to Sandy Wernick, my manager, who you
365
00:16:32.120 --> 00:16:34.899
know was very goofy, I said, I'm thinking of doing
366
00:16:34.919 --> 00:16:38.190
stand-up again. I'd love to have somebody young to hang
367
00:16:38.250 --> 00:16:40.250
out with to try to help me out writing stuff.
368
00:16:40.309 --> 00:16:43.279
And he said, he sent me Dan's tape, and he
369
00:16:43.440 --> 00:16:46.940
played that song, my old chair song.
370
00:16:47.000 --> 00:16:50.210
And I just thought the kid was funny as hell.
371
00:16:50.230 --> 00:16:52.090
And then I started hanging out with him, and we'd
372
00:16:52.110 --> 00:16:55.350
do the stuff together and write jokes. And this other kid,
373
00:16:55.389 --> 00:16:59.230
Paul Sado, He wrote a movie called The Cobbler that
374
00:16:59.269 --> 00:17:01.330
I was in. He did that with Tom McCarthy. And
375
00:17:01.350 --> 00:17:03.929
I told him I was thinking of getting stand-up going again.
376
00:17:03.950 --> 00:17:05.890
So the three of us did a lot of stuff.
377
00:17:05.910 --> 00:17:10.200
That's great. You're mixing it up. You can tell you're
378
00:17:10.220 --> 00:17:12.319
working with different people. You mixed it up. You go
379
00:17:12.380 --> 00:17:17.299
out there. And I love seeing the process of you
380
00:17:17.339 --> 00:17:22.539
assembling it. And you're clearly having fun. There's one song
381
00:17:22.559 --> 00:17:26.460
we were mentioning. It was an old lady song. An
382
00:17:26.519 --> 00:17:29.240
old lady. And you point to the crowd. The hero, yeah.
383
00:17:29.380 --> 00:17:29.779
Yeah.
384
00:17:29.960 --> 00:17:33.859
And you point to this old lady. Grandma. And grandma.
385
00:17:34.000 --> 00:17:36.559
And there's an old woman in the crowd. And the
386
00:17:36.579 --> 00:17:39.289
camera got her and stayed with her. I couldn't believe it.
387
00:17:39.349 --> 00:17:40.859
And you guys relentlessly keep.
388
00:17:40.680 --> 00:17:44.549
The camera on her. And she doesn't know what's happening.
389
00:17:44.630 --> 00:17:50.910
That was amazing luck, man. That lady was the guy
390
00:17:50.970 --> 00:17:54.910
who owned the place, Jamie. Yeah. It's the Hayworth Theater. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
391
00:17:55.069 --> 00:17:55.690
And it was.
392
00:17:56.349 --> 00:17:58.630
His grandma was at the show and he said, do
393
00:17:58.650 --> 00:17:59.910
you mind if my grandmother watches?
394
00:17:59.970 --> 00:18:03.190
She likes you. I said, it's really filthy, man. He's like, no,
395
00:18:03.349 --> 00:18:04.390
she likes your stuff.
396
00:18:04.430 --> 00:18:07.990
You get that? I get, this is the Dynasty Typewriter Theater,
397
00:18:08.230 --> 00:18:08.710
that place?
398
00:18:08.730 --> 00:18:09.349
Yes, yes, yes.
399
00:18:09.490 --> 00:18:11.950
I've been down there. I have to tell you, I
400
00:18:12.589 --> 00:18:16.099
get so nervous for my audience if I'm going to
401
00:18:16.130 --> 00:18:16.690
do a show.
402
00:18:16.710 --> 00:18:17.779
Oh, yeah.
403
00:18:18.019 --> 00:18:20.779
And, you know, the show that I'm doing now is fantastic.
404
00:18:21.299 --> 00:18:23.720
pretty clean, but some of the comics work pretty blue.
405
00:18:23.880 --> 00:18:26.940
I'm pretty clean, but, you know. Yeah, it happens. But
406
00:18:26.980 --> 00:18:29.769
it's just, they're hilarious and they're doing some blue stuff
407
00:18:30.140 --> 00:18:31.789
and some of it can be pretty filthy and they're
408
00:18:31.829 --> 00:18:34.750
talking about real stuff. Right. And just before the show
409
00:18:34.789 --> 00:18:37.210
every now and then, people will come to me in
410
00:18:37.250 --> 00:18:39.509
the green room or the dressing room and I'll be like,
411
00:18:40.089 --> 00:18:45.539
this is O'Connor and it's your wife's parents' oldest friends.
412
00:18:45.559 --> 00:18:45.779
Oh, yeah.
413
00:18:46.119 --> 00:18:48.450
The ditherworths. And they'll come by and they'll be like,
414
00:18:48.829 --> 00:18:51.410
we just came by and we bought tickets and we're
415
00:18:51.430 --> 00:18:54.250
going to be right up front when the girl sings
416
00:18:54.329 --> 00:18:59.740
about abortion. And I'm horrified and I want to protect
417
00:18:59.819 --> 00:19:01.680
them and get them out of there. And I'm worried
418
00:19:01.700 --> 00:19:03.480
the whole time. And you can't do that. And then
419
00:19:03.519 --> 00:19:06.079
sometimes afterwards, they're just like, oh, I love the girl
420
00:19:06.099 --> 00:19:08.119
with the abortion. They will.
421
00:19:08.519 --> 00:19:09.940
That's funny, man. Yeah.
422
00:19:11.430 --> 00:19:14.150
If I hear the wrong person's in the crowd, I'll
423
00:19:14.170 --> 00:19:16.910
have times where I'm ready to, I'm in a good mood.
424
00:19:16.930 --> 00:19:18.799
You know how you find yourself in the right mood?
425
00:19:18.819 --> 00:19:20.299
Yep. You're like, oh, I'm going to be good tonight
426
00:19:20.319 --> 00:19:24.059
because I'm feeling like myself and nothing's making me nuts.
427
00:19:24.700 --> 00:19:26.799
And then all of a sudden somebody goes, so-and-so's here.
428
00:19:27.079 --> 00:19:28.700
And you're just like, and your whole mood changes.
429
00:19:28.859 --> 00:19:29.039
Yep.
430
00:19:29.160 --> 00:19:31.990
I get like that because of what I'm talking about.
431
00:19:32.250 --> 00:19:33.430
I don't want to know who's there.
432
00:19:33.450 --> 00:19:36.190
I don't like knowing either. Yeah, right. I used to
433
00:19:36.230 --> 00:19:38.029
be so nuts that.
434
00:19:38.490 --> 00:19:40.339
When I was first doing standup, I would never look
435
00:19:40.470 --> 00:19:44.259
out before the, I'd hide before a show. You know,
436
00:19:44.299 --> 00:19:46.089
it wasn't like a famous thing. I was just like,
437
00:19:46.119 --> 00:19:48.150
I don't want to see who's there. I would look
438
00:19:48.190 --> 00:19:49.470
into the lights while I was on set.
439
00:19:49.490 --> 00:19:51.500
I didn't want to know. who was not laughing or
440
00:19:51.559 --> 00:19:54.980
laughing or who was judging me. And now I'm so happy.
441
00:19:55.019 --> 00:19:58.799
I literally will meet the crowd before the, I'll get
442
00:19:58.819 --> 00:20:00.779
so anxious to meet them. The lights are still up
443
00:20:00.839 --> 00:20:02.779
while they're filing in and I'll walk out and be like,
444
00:20:02.839 --> 00:20:03.519
here we go.
445
00:20:03.579 --> 00:20:04.740
And then they'll be like, is that him?
446
00:20:05.039 --> 00:20:06.119
Oh, wow. I wouldn't do that.
447
00:20:06.299 --> 00:20:06.829
I'm weird.
448
00:20:06.849 --> 00:20:07.160
I'm weird.
449
00:20:07.309 --> 00:20:08.769
It makes me feel more comfortable.
450
00:20:08.829 --> 00:20:11.690
I'm superstitious about seeing them beforehand, but I'm curious when
451
00:20:11.710 --> 00:20:14.630
you watch your own Netflix special, there's a camera that's
452
00:20:14.650 --> 00:20:17.890
showing these massive audiences, massive, you know, it just looks
453
00:20:17.910 --> 00:20:19.829
like there's a couple, there's thousands of people in there.
454
00:20:19.869 --> 00:20:20.049
Right.
455
00:20:20.769 --> 00:20:24.289
Now you can see someone way in the back decide
456
00:20:24.309 --> 00:20:25.859
to go use the bathroom. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
457
00:20:25.970 --> 00:20:27.900
And I know me. Yeah, I'm like that.
458
00:20:27.920 --> 00:20:29.680
I'm crazy enough that I'd be like, really?
459
00:20:29.700 --> 00:20:30.519
Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah.
460
00:20:30.619 --> 00:20:31.640
That easy you can't hold it in?
461
00:20:31.859 --> 00:20:32.140
I know.
462
00:20:32.160 --> 00:20:32.440
For me?
463
00:20:32.460 --> 00:20:33.039
I know.
464
00:20:33.619 --> 00:20:34.740
That's how crazy I am.
465
00:20:35.039 --> 00:20:35.640
Oh, really?
466
00:20:35.660 --> 00:20:38.220
Where are you going? When someone gets up and leaves
467
00:20:38.279 --> 00:20:39.869
and goes, I mean, there's a bunch of places I've
468
00:20:39.900 --> 00:20:42.309
played where they can go and get drinks in the lobby. Right, yes.
469
00:20:42.329 --> 00:20:43.250
And I'm just like, really?
470
00:20:43.269 --> 00:20:44.849
Now you're getting the drink.
471
00:20:44.890 --> 00:20:46.490
You need a Michelob light right now?
472
00:20:46.710 --> 00:20:47.700
I used to bring a.
473
00:20:48.470 --> 00:20:54.410
Norm, Spade, Schneider, Swartzen, all these guys on the tours.
474
00:20:55.099 --> 00:20:58.279
And they would do long each time. And they were
475
00:20:58.299 --> 00:21:02.140
doing 20, 25 minutes each. And then when I got
476
00:21:02.200 --> 00:21:04.819
up there, the crowd was so needing to go to
477
00:21:04.859 --> 00:21:08.119
the bathroom that it would throw my rhythm off.
478
00:21:08.180 --> 00:21:09.720
And you became their bathroom break.
479
00:21:09.849 --> 00:21:10.809
Yeah, exactly.
480
00:21:10.880 --> 00:21:11.730
It just makes you crazy.
481
00:21:11.849 --> 00:21:12.190
Exactly.
482
00:21:12.210 --> 00:21:16.069
But you know what's funny is no one understands. They
483
00:21:16.410 --> 00:21:19.900
don't think Adam Sandler... would ever think about that. They
484
00:21:19.920 --> 00:21:22.619
think you're in a different place. They don't know you
485
00:21:22.720 --> 00:21:24.440
are going to notice.
486
00:21:24.940 --> 00:21:29.609
I wish we could handle it better. The nights I'm
487
00:21:29.640 --> 00:21:32.029
light about it, I'm funnier. The nights that I get
488
00:21:32.069 --> 00:21:35.369
tense and jumpy. I had a manager when I was
489
00:21:35.549 --> 00:21:38.109
like 19 and I was at the comic strip and
490
00:21:38.130 --> 00:21:40.410
I was on stage and he saw me do well.
491
00:21:40.809 --> 00:21:42.869
And then he came back a week later, he brought
492
00:21:42.890 --> 00:21:46.150
people to see me and I didn't do well. I
493
00:21:46.470 --> 00:21:49.849
ate it like for 10 straight minutes. And I came
494
00:21:49.970 --> 00:21:51.589
off and I was like, I'm in this crowd, blah, blah, blah.
495
00:21:52.170 --> 00:21:56.130
And he said, you didn't seem like you were last week.
496
00:21:56.170 --> 00:21:58.359
Last week, you looked like you were having fun up there.
497
00:21:58.740 --> 00:22:01.880
You were getting mad. You were yelling at that person
498
00:22:01.940 --> 00:22:06.220
for doing something. And I was very sensitive back then.
499
00:22:06.259 --> 00:22:08.930
If I saw a crowd member not enjoying, if I
500
00:22:08.970 --> 00:22:11.569
got a laugh with a you know, most of the
501
00:22:11.589 --> 00:22:14.049
crowd and somebody didn't laugh at it, I'd always jump
502
00:22:14.109 --> 00:22:14.549
on that guy.
503
00:22:14.589 --> 00:22:15.269
What's the matter, buddy?
504
00:22:15.289 --> 00:22:15.589
All right.
505
00:22:15.690 --> 00:22:17.769
Can I get you something? You know, I was psychotic. Yeah.
506
00:22:17.869 --> 00:22:20.529
It's so much easier just to ignore it and let
507
00:22:20.549 --> 00:22:22.009
that guy come to you eventually.
508
00:22:22.650 --> 00:22:24.769
And, uh, the nights I do that, it's a great show.
509
00:22:24.809 --> 00:22:28.130
The nights I can't do that. I mean, they're, When
510
00:22:28.170 --> 00:22:32.039
you do these giant theaters or arenas and stuff, and
511
00:22:32.359 --> 00:22:34.920
they pay the most to be in the front row,
512
00:22:35.009 --> 00:22:37.390
a lot of times they're not your best audience.
513
00:22:37.450 --> 00:22:38.430
No, no.
514
00:22:38.529 --> 00:22:40.390
And that's the only ones you see, and you're so
515
00:22:40.450 --> 00:22:43.410
mad at these guys. For just being stiff and they're
516
00:22:43.450 --> 00:22:46.119
mad at you for charging so much money for those seats.
517
00:22:46.519 --> 00:22:49.019
So there's a little friction.
518
00:22:49.259 --> 00:22:51.539
We do a thing. I did a show. When I
519
00:22:51.579 --> 00:22:52.980
do a show, and I'm sure you've had this too,
520
00:22:53.000 --> 00:22:55.319
where people, they pay a lot extra to have a
521
00:22:55.339 --> 00:22:58.670
meet and greet. I really want to meet. And so
522
00:22:59.049 --> 00:23:01.509
you meet with them. And then I was doing a show.
523
00:23:01.529 --> 00:23:03.329
I forget where we were. Sona, where were we? I
524
00:23:03.349 --> 00:23:05.849
forget where we were, but we did a show recently
525
00:23:05.970 --> 00:23:07.109
and someone stood up in the crowd. It was in
526
00:23:07.130 --> 00:23:09.220
the Midwest. And she stood up and she said, I've
527
00:23:09.259 --> 00:23:10.779
always wanted to meet you, but I didn't want to
528
00:23:10.819 --> 00:23:13.119
pay money for that meet and greet. And so I
529
00:23:13.180 --> 00:23:15.339
jumped off the stage and walked past all the people
530
00:23:15.380 --> 00:23:19.700
that had paid. And I gave her a hug and
531
00:23:19.720 --> 00:23:23.160
the whole crowd was like, yeah, fuck those people. And
532
00:23:23.200 --> 00:23:25.799
I was thinking, and this is weird way I'm having
533
00:23:25.839 --> 00:23:28.940
my cake and eating it too. Cause those people paid
534
00:23:28.980 --> 00:23:31.559
to say hi to me. And now I'm totally telling
535
00:23:31.599 --> 00:23:32.779
them that was not necessary.
536
00:23:33.500 --> 00:23:34.140
I would have done it.
537
00:23:34.140 --> 00:23:36.809
All you had to do was stand up in the
538
00:23:36.829 --> 00:23:38.410
middle of the show or wait in the parking lot,
539
00:23:38.869 --> 00:23:41.009
and I will spend 20 minutes with you because I'm
540
00:23:41.069 --> 00:23:42.470
a very needy friend.
541
00:23:43.150 --> 00:23:44.369
I like people. No, you're decent.
542
00:23:44.609 --> 00:23:45.349
I'm a decent man.
543
00:23:45.369 --> 00:23:46.670
You're from the same school as me.
544
00:23:46.710 --> 00:23:48.410
If you make eye contact with me and you look
545
00:23:48.450 --> 00:23:50.690
like you need to talk, I'll go, yes.
546
00:23:51.029 --> 00:23:53.930
My kid last night, I brought Sadie. You can't get
547
00:23:54.019 --> 00:23:57.420
mad at your kid for making eye contact. What are
548
00:23:57.440 --> 00:24:00.039
you doing? Don't look at me. Call Sandy Wernick if
549
00:24:00.059 --> 00:24:01.119
you have a problem.
550
00:24:03.109 --> 00:24:06.009
No, no, no. So last night I went to the
551
00:24:06.210 --> 00:24:08.339
Laker game. It was her first time sitting there and
552
00:24:08.380 --> 00:24:09.720
I brought her and we had a great time.
553
00:24:10.180 --> 00:24:13.980
And then after the game, I was leaving and people
554
00:24:14.000 --> 00:24:16.200
were wanting to take my picture and stuff. And I
555
00:24:16.220 --> 00:24:18.549
took a few and then I knew I had to
556
00:24:18.569 --> 00:24:22.509
get home for school. So I started passing people. And she,
557
00:24:22.630 --> 00:24:24.730
my kid would get so upset. She was like, that
558
00:24:24.750 --> 00:24:25.609
man wants to take your picture.
559
00:24:25.710 --> 00:24:27.339
I'd be like, he'll be all right. He'll be all right.
560
00:24:27.519 --> 00:24:28.319
I got to get going.
561
00:24:28.559 --> 00:24:29.039
No, no.
562
00:24:29.359 --> 00:24:30.119
And she was getting upset.
563
00:24:30.140 --> 00:24:32.299
So I had to stop and take, she was being
564
00:24:32.319 --> 00:24:34.359
my conscious a little more just saying, get, you know,
565
00:24:34.500 --> 00:24:35.700
take the picture, get, make.
566
00:24:35.599 --> 00:24:36.339
That person happy.
567
00:24:36.940 --> 00:24:39.420
Yeah. My son, what he does is he photo bombs
568
00:24:39.920 --> 00:24:43.200
all of them. That's his way of saying, I own this. Oh,
569
00:24:43.220 --> 00:24:45.619
that's good. I, which I think is actually pretty clever.
570
00:24:46.440 --> 00:24:49.779
I'm bringing this up because you mentioned getting angry. I
571
00:24:49.819 --> 00:24:52.519
noticed a long time ago that it's in your comedy
572
00:24:52.539 --> 00:24:54.960
through all your movies and through a lot of your act,
573
00:24:55.460 --> 00:24:58.720
the character that just suddenly loses it. Right, right, yeah.
574
00:24:58.960 --> 00:25:03.069
And I thought, yeah, it's interesting to me that you
575
00:25:03.869 --> 00:25:08.029
have a temper. You have a temper and you kind
576
00:25:08.089 --> 00:25:14.839
of turned it into this, you use it. You use it. Um,
577
00:25:15.279 --> 00:25:17.500
you know, whether it's, it's any of the characters you've
578
00:25:17.519 --> 00:25:19.160
played in movies or a lot of them, you can
579
00:25:19.200 --> 00:25:22.079
tap into it. And it's, and then when you did
580
00:25:22.180 --> 00:25:25.180
Punch Drunk Love, I thought, yes, this is, that's a
581
00:25:25.240 --> 00:25:28.029
side of you. You're able to embody both of them.
582
00:25:28.049 --> 00:25:30.490
I think that's why people like you so much is
583
00:25:30.509 --> 00:25:33.670
you're confident, but you're also kind of an act meek,
584
00:25:34.690 --> 00:25:37.109
you know, and you, you keep your lips very close
585
00:25:37.130 --> 00:25:39.390
together and you talk and you look down. And your
586
00:25:39.410 --> 00:25:41.759
jokes make fun of, you make fun of yourself a lot,
587
00:25:41.779 --> 00:25:44.500
but you're also incredibly over the top confident and you've
588
00:25:44.539 --> 00:25:46.160
got both at the same time. And I think you've
589
00:25:46.180 --> 00:25:49.480
also got that thing where you're nice and you're sweet,
590
00:25:49.680 --> 00:25:52.990
but you've got a temper. And I'm curious, like, and
591
00:25:53.049 --> 00:25:56.369
sometimes I think like, oh, I wonder if that comes
592
00:25:56.470 --> 00:26:01.009
from having a 70s dad. Yeah, yeah. We had 70s dads.
593
00:26:01.029 --> 00:26:02.950
We didn't have, and you touch on this a little
594
00:26:02.970 --> 00:26:05.200
bit in your special because I've thought about this a lot.
595
00:26:06.210 --> 00:26:09.039
You talk about something that I've joked about, too, which
596
00:26:09.190 --> 00:26:11.319
is they want us in school all the time.
597
00:26:11.400 --> 00:26:12.299
Right, right, right, yeah.
598
00:26:12.319 --> 00:26:13.579
To be with our kids. And you call it, you
599
00:26:13.599 --> 00:26:16.720
got to be here for Happy Tuesday. Yeah, right, right, right.
600
00:26:16.839 --> 00:26:18.740
And we were talking about how our dads were never
601
00:26:18.779 --> 00:26:19.220
at school.
602
00:26:19.380 --> 00:26:19.880
Right, yeah.
603
00:26:19.900 --> 00:26:22.559
Because your dad, my dad, if they came to school,
604
00:26:22.859 --> 00:26:23.700
it was a problem.
605
00:26:23.940 --> 00:26:24.599
Right, right, exactly.
606
00:26:24.619 --> 00:26:25.990
They weren't there to make fudge with us.
607
00:26:26.059 --> 00:26:27.119
Exactly, yeah, exactly.
608
00:26:27.220 --> 00:26:28.519
You know, but I don't know. I don't know if
609
00:26:28.559 --> 00:26:31.670
you tap into that kind of... My dad had a
610
00:26:31.710 --> 00:26:34.119
temper and has a temper, and your dad probably had
611
00:26:34.150 --> 00:26:36.980
a temper. Yes. We have tempers, and I don't know
612
00:26:37.000 --> 00:26:38.440
if that's going away now or what.
613
00:26:38.579 --> 00:26:42.180
I think, I mean, the biggest thing I got from
614
00:26:42.240 --> 00:26:46.519
my dad, my dad's temper was a little stronger than mine.
615
00:26:47.660 --> 00:26:49.359
But the thing he.
616
00:26:49.259 --> 00:26:53.619
Did that I am calming down, but I've always had it,
617
00:26:53.680 --> 00:26:58.130
was I quick to snap. and go crazy full throttle
618
00:26:58.250 --> 00:27:01.130
and then they would go away and we were back
619
00:27:01.150 --> 00:27:04.079
to normal my father used to yell at us in
620
00:27:04.099 --> 00:27:06.160
the house and scare the hell out of us but
621
00:27:06.200 --> 00:27:09.240
then you know two minutes later we were sitting having
622
00:27:09.400 --> 00:27:11.859
lamb chops and having a good time again and that
623
00:27:11.900 --> 00:27:13.180
kind of thing and i uh.
624
00:27:15.539 --> 00:27:17.539
I do that in my movies a lot. I expect
625
00:27:17.599 --> 00:27:20.180
the audience to be okay with me snapping.
626
00:27:20.319 --> 00:27:23.210
Oh, yeah. Well, they actually, they like it. I mean,
627
00:27:23.230 --> 00:27:26.289
that's the thing is whether it's in anger management, it's in,
628
00:27:26.309 --> 00:27:28.269
I mean, you've done all these movies where you lose
629
00:27:28.369 --> 00:27:30.869
it and it's seeing you fight your temper.
630
00:27:30.890 --> 00:27:30.970
Yeah.
631
00:27:32.210 --> 00:27:35.539
It's really funny. It's really funny. You're about to blow.
632
00:27:35.619 --> 00:27:38.579
You've got to kind of keep it together. And then
633
00:27:38.599 --> 00:27:42.019
you completely lose it. And it's enjoyable.
634
00:27:42.339 --> 00:27:43.240
Yes, yes, yes.
635
00:27:44.579 --> 00:27:47.289
Yeah, I guess you're building it up enough that the
636
00:27:47.349 --> 00:27:51.970
audience says, okay, you can let them have it. But, yeah,
637
00:27:52.029 --> 00:27:54.109
in real life, I'm getting better at that cone.
638
00:27:54.130 --> 00:27:55.890
I'm trying to not snap quite as much.
639
00:27:56.309 --> 00:27:56.609
Okay.
640
00:27:56.789 --> 00:27:57.650
We'll see what happens.
641
00:27:57.789 --> 00:28:00.049
We're here at your production offices, and I walked in.
642
00:28:00.089 --> 00:28:02.099
And everyone— They're all nervous out there.
643
00:28:02.119 --> 00:28:04.319
They're super nervous. They don't want to make eye contact
644
00:28:04.359 --> 00:28:04.660
with you.
645
00:28:04.680 --> 00:28:07.680
A lot of young people out there who love you, man.
646
00:28:07.740 --> 00:28:09.279
They were so excited you were coming here.
647
00:28:09.299 --> 00:28:11.099
Oh, that's nice. Yes, yes.
648
00:28:11.200 --> 00:28:14.420
We were part of their lives, these children that work
649
00:28:14.480 --> 00:28:15.779
at the companies now.
650
00:28:16.220 --> 00:28:17.119
It's weird, isn't it?
651
00:28:17.180 --> 00:28:17.940
Yes, yes.
652
00:28:18.000 --> 00:28:20.630
This kid out there was saying he had a— He
653
00:28:20.650 --> 00:28:24.190
sent away for a Conan audience T-shirt from when he
654
00:28:24.230 --> 00:28:25.579
was really young and he was going to wear it
655
00:28:25.599 --> 00:28:27.720
in front of you. And then he got started feeling
656
00:28:27.920 --> 00:28:30.259
he was going to be humiliated. But it's it is
657
00:28:30.319 --> 00:28:30.960
funny that these.
658
00:28:31.500 --> 00:28:34.269
I would have. I would have ripped him a new one. No,
659
00:28:34.289 --> 00:28:36.230
I would have. I would have.
660
00:28:36.589 --> 00:28:37.809
Would have been fun to see. I would have.
661
00:28:38.170 --> 00:28:41.509
No, I'm always touched when someone. There's also what I
662
00:28:41.710 --> 00:28:42.829
don't know. You must get a kick out of this.
663
00:28:42.849 --> 00:28:44.430
You get this all the time when people come up
664
00:28:44.470 --> 00:28:47.700
and they've I really like their work. They're funny. They're comedians.
665
00:28:47.740 --> 00:28:49.680
And I really look I kind of look up to them.
666
00:28:49.700 --> 00:28:51.740
I think they're great. And they say, oh, you know,
667
00:28:52.380 --> 00:28:53.960
you must be people all the time that got into
668
00:28:53.980 --> 00:28:58.190
the business because of they're watching you. And then now
669
00:28:58.230 --> 00:28:58.990
they're in the business.
670
00:28:59.410 --> 00:29:02.170
Oh, yeah. That's crazy. That's the best.
671
00:29:02.809 --> 00:29:03.930
Now you're James Caan.
672
00:29:04.500 --> 00:29:05.480
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
673
00:29:05.500 --> 00:29:07.740
Now you're like, oh, Amir, kid.
674
00:29:08.000 --> 00:29:08.519
Yes.
675
00:29:08.559 --> 00:29:14.369
Don't do what I did. I am a mess. Don't
676
00:29:14.380 --> 00:29:15.849
be mean. All right, we're going to take a quick
677
00:29:15.910 --> 00:29:18.009
break here. Wait for this break. It's going to be
678
00:29:18.049 --> 00:29:19.069
one of our best breaks ever.
679
00:29:25.690 --> 00:29:28.170
Now it's time for a segment. Conan O'Brien pays off
680
00:29:28.190 --> 00:29:29.180
the mortgage on.
681
00:29:29.119 --> 00:29:29.799
His beach house.
682
00:29:30.259 --> 00:29:32.779
Yes. This is where I get the word out on
683
00:29:32.819 --> 00:29:35.839
some products. Yes, I am paid for that word. And
684
00:29:35.859 --> 00:29:38.650
then I use that money to desperately pay down this
685
00:29:38.750 --> 00:29:39.609
massive mortgage.
686
00:29:39.910 --> 00:29:40.339
I took out.
687
00:29:40.740 --> 00:29:41.440
What about me?
688
00:29:41.700 --> 00:29:43.859
Why don't you pay me? I pay you. I pay
689
00:29:43.900 --> 00:29:47.329
you in foodstuffs. I gave you fresh eggs a couple
690
00:29:47.349 --> 00:29:51.049
weeks ago. I gave you... True story or not? That's
691
00:29:51.109 --> 00:29:51.650
a true story.
692
00:29:51.710 --> 00:29:53.369
I gave you... Fresh eggs?
693
00:29:53.549 --> 00:29:53.869
I did.
694
00:29:54.170 --> 00:29:54.369
Eggs.
695
00:29:54.470 --> 00:29:57.549
I've given you radishes. A big basket of radishes.
696
00:29:58.009 --> 00:29:59.359
That's not payment.
697
00:29:59.640 --> 00:30:02.400
Well, for most of man's history, yes, that was payment.
698
00:30:02.799 --> 00:30:06.400
For 99% of man's history in that timeline, you.
699
00:30:06.299 --> 00:30:06.900
Have been paid.
700
00:30:07.480 --> 00:30:08.970
I can't pay my rent with it.
701
00:30:09.559 --> 00:30:09.720
No.
702
00:30:10.200 --> 00:30:12.200
Isn't that tragic? You've got to talk to your landlord
703
00:30:12.240 --> 00:30:14.579
about that. Because that's good barley I gave you.
704
00:30:14.599 --> 00:30:15.480
Okay.
705
00:30:17.569 --> 00:30:20.200
Paris Saint-Germain win the Champions League.
706
00:30:20.650 --> 00:30:22.809
All of a sudden, there are a lot more monster
707
00:30:22.849 --> 00:30:24.390
voices in Trump Park.
708
00:30:24.470 --> 00:30:27.769
Players collapse to the ground. It is utter heartbreak.
709
00:30:27.890 --> 00:30:31.009
Alcaraz rewrites the tennis history books.
710
00:30:31.269 --> 00:30:32.869
Just take in that noise.
711
00:30:33.269 --> 00:30:34.869
Feel every moment with.
712
00:30:34.809 --> 00:30:36.130
Sports Extra from Sky.
713
00:30:36.170 --> 00:30:37.109
Pure joy.
714
00:30:37.210 --> 00:30:40.029
Get all the best football, rugby, tennis and more from
715
00:30:40.089 --> 00:30:42.190
Premier Sports and TNT Sports.
716
00:30:42.789 --> 00:30:44.150
And they'll enjoy this.
717
00:30:44.250 --> 00:30:45.750
Sky. Believe in better.
718
00:30:46.289 --> 00:30:49.269
A new baby brings joy, but it can be distressing
719
00:30:49.329 --> 00:30:51.990
if your baby suffers from colic. Did you know up
720
00:30:52.029 --> 00:30:55.130
to one in five babies experience colic symptoms and in
721
00:30:55.190 --> 00:30:59.059
about 40% of cases it's caused by temporary lactose intolerance?
722
00:30:59.490 --> 00:31:02.859
Award-winning Colif Infant Drops help break down lactose in milk
723
00:31:02.920 --> 00:31:06.680
before feeding, reducing colic discomfort for your little one and
724
00:31:06.779 --> 00:31:10.420
bringing peace of mind for you. Colif Infant Drops, part
725
00:31:10.440 --> 00:31:13.569
of the Colif range, available in pharmacies nationwide.
726
00:31:14.049 --> 00:31:15.130
Always read the leaflet.
727
00:31:15.430 --> 00:31:16.589
Use only as directed.
728
00:31:22.190 --> 00:31:25.230
And we're back. We actually, here, didn't take any break.
729
00:31:25.329 --> 00:31:26.170
No, you don't need it.
730
00:31:26.529 --> 00:31:29.279
I just didn't. I really paused for a second, but
731
00:31:29.319 --> 00:31:30.740
you heard a commercial or something.
732
00:31:30.759 --> 00:31:31.339
Just enough.
733
00:31:32.299 --> 00:31:36.839
You know, you did something in the Netflix stand-up special, which, again,
734
00:31:36.859 --> 00:31:39.579
I really loved. And then you did this thing that
735
00:31:39.700 --> 00:31:42.980
totally took me by surprise. I wasn't expecting it. You
736
00:31:43.000 --> 00:31:44.319
did this song about Chris Farley.
737
00:31:44.339 --> 00:31:44.460
Yeah.
738
00:31:45.500 --> 00:31:49.440
And it got to me. It's a beautiful song. And
739
00:31:49.480 --> 00:31:52.500
it's funny. And I wasn't ready for that.
740
00:31:53.039 --> 00:31:54.680
Right.
741
00:31:54.970 --> 00:31:56.309
Which I applaud you for.
742
00:31:56.630 --> 00:31:58.410
I couldn't wait for you to hear it, by the way, Cone.
743
00:31:59.349 --> 00:31:59.670
Man.
744
00:31:59.950 --> 00:32:02.250
I saw you at something.
745
00:32:02.329 --> 00:32:04.349
I said, I'm doing the thing. You're going to like it, Cone.
746
00:32:04.369 --> 00:32:05.349
You're going to really like the ending.
747
00:32:05.569 --> 00:32:08.019
You probably don't remember that. But I was psyched for
748
00:32:08.039 --> 00:32:10.920
you to see, because I knew how much you loved Chris. Yeah.
749
00:32:11.000 --> 00:32:13.990
He was one of the first... I've mentioned this to
750
00:32:14.009 --> 00:32:17.630
people before, but he was, remember when, if you had
751
00:32:17.650 --> 00:32:20.589
to get a, when people came in, they had to
752
00:32:20.630 --> 00:32:23.029
meet with Lorne in his office on, you know, right
753
00:32:23.049 --> 00:32:28.390
above the stage. And Lorne would keep them waiting because
754
00:32:28.410 --> 00:32:30.950
he was always busy. I remember coming in one day
755
00:32:30.970 --> 00:32:34.960
and there was this big round blonde haired kid with
756
00:32:35.000 --> 00:32:37.779
his hair combed down and he was bobbing back and
757
00:32:37.819 --> 00:32:41.930
forth in his chair and his jacket didn't fit. And
758
00:32:41.950 --> 00:32:43.900
he was waiting to meet with Lauren and it was
759
00:32:43.960 --> 00:32:46.839
Chris and Odenkirk introduced me to him because Odenkirk knew
760
00:32:46.880 --> 00:32:50.559
him from Second City. And so I said hi and
761
00:32:50.619 --> 00:32:52.619
we giggled and goofed around a little bit and then
762
00:32:52.660 --> 00:32:54.720
I had to go. And then I came back like
763
00:32:54.740 --> 00:32:57.099
the next day and he's still, I mean, I think
764
00:32:57.119 --> 00:32:59.680
he waited a couple of days to meet with Lauren
765
00:32:59.900 --> 00:33:02.369
and he's bobbing in his chair. And so I was like, Hey,
766
00:33:02.410 --> 00:33:04.279
you want a tour? And he was like, yeah, yeah.
767
00:33:04.410 --> 00:33:05.839
And then I took him on a fake tour. I
768
00:33:05.880 --> 00:33:08.160
just walked around and I was like, see that guy
769
00:33:08.180 --> 00:33:10.539
holding that boom over there? That's old Boomy. We call
770
00:33:10.559 --> 00:33:13.799
him Boomy Joe. And it was all bullshit, you know?
771
00:33:14.539 --> 00:33:16.710
See those, hey fellas, you know, good to see you.
772
00:33:16.740 --> 00:33:19.339
That's Squanto and Pronto. And it wasn't their names. And
773
00:33:19.500 --> 00:33:21.119
I was walking around and he got that right away
774
00:33:21.140 --> 00:33:23.279
and he was cackling and then he was doing it.
775
00:33:23.640 --> 00:33:25.609
And we were just goofing around like kids.
776
00:33:26.109 --> 00:33:26.950
And then he did.
777
00:33:27.660 --> 00:33:31.240
I think very quickly Downey wrote the Chippendales thing.
778
00:33:31.259 --> 00:33:32.039
Oh yeah.
779
00:33:32.500 --> 00:33:33.500
And then he blew up.
780
00:33:33.579 --> 00:33:36.680
Yeah. And that was superstar immediately. Yeah.
781
00:33:36.940 --> 00:33:41.160
The him and Patrick Swayze being Chippendale dancers. And that was,
782
00:33:41.180 --> 00:33:44.789
I remember watching that, you know, like from under the
783
00:33:44.829 --> 00:33:49.609
bleachers and going, Oh, you know, that's amazing. But I
784
00:33:49.650 --> 00:33:54.089
wasn't prepared for all that footage and how, Yeah. There's
785
00:33:54.160 --> 00:33:56.990
footage of you, how young you were.
786
00:33:57.009 --> 00:33:57.089
Yeah.
787
00:33:57.230 --> 00:34:00.190
You got him on my show. I saw that footage.
788
00:34:00.230 --> 00:34:01.289
I wasn't prepared for that.
789
00:34:01.349 --> 00:34:02.930
I'm like, oh my God, we were just kids.
790
00:34:03.349 --> 00:34:03.750
I know.
791
00:34:03.829 --> 00:34:05.210
You looked so young in that.
792
00:34:05.910 --> 00:34:08.440
I tell you, I was doing the Farley song on
793
00:34:08.480 --> 00:34:12.139
the road, just me and guitar and piano.
794
00:34:12.340 --> 00:34:15.179
And singing it. And it was, people liked it and
795
00:34:15.219 --> 00:34:17.019
they connected with it.
796
00:34:17.199 --> 00:34:19.159
And then we were talking about, should we show images
797
00:34:19.719 --> 00:34:23.500
just to really bring in you know, Chris to life.
798
00:34:23.579 --> 00:34:25.460
And then we were arguing back and forth, like, well,
799
00:34:25.480 --> 00:34:27.480
we've been doing it without it. I don't know why
800
00:34:27.500 --> 00:34:28.000
we need to.
801
00:34:28.500 --> 00:34:30.500
And then we started looking at footage of Chris and
802
00:34:30.519 --> 00:34:32.300
we were like, oh my God, it's just so much
803
00:34:32.360 --> 00:34:35.000
fun to remind the audience how, how great the guy
804
00:34:35.059 --> 00:34:38.760
was and how sweet he was. And, and yeah, I felt,
805
00:34:38.780 --> 00:34:40.929
I felt the same that him on your show makes
806
00:34:40.969 --> 00:34:43.469
me when he covers his face and he's, he's flirting
807
00:34:43.510 --> 00:34:44.090
with somebody.
808
00:34:44.150 --> 00:34:44.590
I forget.
809
00:34:44.789 --> 00:34:47.889
We were flirting with Chris and I pretended.
810
00:34:47.530 --> 00:34:50.650
To, was it Elizabeth shoe or, I think it was.
811
00:34:50.570 --> 00:34:53.349
That we did another bit once where, Chris and I,
812
00:34:53.420 --> 00:34:57.000
I'm interviewing Chris. And then we noticed two attractive pages
813
00:34:57.019 --> 00:34:59.199
over by the doors. And of course we do that
814
00:34:59.239 --> 00:35:01.889
stupid old Teresa Duchess thing where we cut to the
815
00:35:01.909 --> 00:35:05.650
door and we had pre-taped Chris and I dressed as pages.
816
00:35:05.869 --> 00:35:11.650
And we're doing that really corny, like, and finger waves,
817
00:35:11.670 --> 00:35:15.570
you know, finger waves, like, and Chris was like, Oh,
818
00:35:15.590 --> 00:35:17.090
I like the one on the left. Cause he's attracted
819
00:35:17.130 --> 00:35:19.530
the one that's him. And I'm attracted to the one
820
00:35:19.570 --> 00:35:21.789
that's me that, freaked me out because it looked exactly
821
00:35:21.809 --> 00:35:25.559
like my mom and uh but it was just we
822
00:35:25.619 --> 00:35:29.880
it was just it was uh uh it's really hard
823
00:35:29.920 --> 00:35:33.050
to explain him to people you know.
824
00:35:32.949 --> 00:35:36.030
What about how good of a guy about you he
825
00:35:36.070 --> 00:35:39.860
was definitely when he walked into the room everybody just
826
00:35:39.880 --> 00:35:43.110
was like okay here he is the man But.
827
00:35:43.010 --> 00:35:44.769
He just talked about you, Conan.
828
00:35:44.789 --> 00:35:48.070
He talked about Odie and he cared about everybody else.
829
00:35:48.090 --> 00:35:49.030
Yeah, he's sweet.
830
00:35:49.130 --> 00:35:51.199
Always gave it up to the other guys. Didn't think
831
00:35:51.260 --> 00:35:52.699
he was as funny as other guys.
832
00:35:52.739 --> 00:35:54.780
Which may have hurt him, actually. I think he could
833
00:35:54.800 --> 00:36:00.500
have used a little more self-esteem or something, you know. Maybe, maybe, yeah.
834
00:36:00.760 --> 00:36:03.579
But I think it was that and also the fact
835
00:36:03.619 --> 00:36:05.920
that he was genuinely such a nice guy.
836
00:36:07.719 --> 00:36:12.289
You talk about having quick tempered. He was there, too.
837
00:36:12.449 --> 00:36:13.230
Yeah, he was.
838
00:36:13.409 --> 00:36:17.260
He could snap you. He could back it up, too.
839
00:36:18.179 --> 00:36:20.119
But he let it go quick, and they would laugh
840
00:36:20.159 --> 00:36:22.579
his ass off at how upset he would get, and
841
00:36:22.619 --> 00:36:27.980
he'd laugh at himself. But anyways, he did like other
842
00:36:28.000 --> 00:36:29.719
people's stuff, and he would run up to you if
843
00:36:29.739 --> 00:36:31.190
you did well on the show and be.
844
00:36:31.150 --> 00:36:34.110
Like, oh, my God, Adzy, that was so funny, and
845
00:36:34.130 --> 00:36:34.869
he was so sweet.
846
00:36:34.909 --> 00:36:37.530
That's one of the sweet things, I think, about in
847
00:36:37.590 --> 00:36:41.260
comedy is there are people who are very talented, but
848
00:36:41.280 --> 00:36:42.469
they have a hard time giving it up.
849
00:36:43.079 --> 00:36:43.400
Sure.
850
00:36:44.380 --> 00:36:46.739
And then there are people that really can give it up.
851
00:36:47.139 --> 00:36:52.389
And you always notice you and Farley are two people
852
00:36:52.429 --> 00:36:56.840
that are both souls that see something and just love it,
853
00:36:57.030 --> 00:37:00.030
and you can give it up. And that's a generosity,
854
00:37:00.070 --> 00:37:03.119
which is very unusual in comedy. I'm not saying it
855
00:37:03.179 --> 00:37:06.559
doesn't exist. It does. But you see a lot of
856
00:37:07.119 --> 00:37:09.460
Comics are taking the measure of the other comic.
857
00:37:09.940 --> 00:37:13.340
Sure. It's a lot easier to be able to give
858
00:37:13.380 --> 00:37:13.539
it up.
859
00:37:14.179 --> 00:37:16.099
I think when I first started and when I was
860
00:37:16.099 --> 00:37:19.860
18 and on stage and I saw some other people killing,
861
00:37:20.559 --> 00:37:23.780
I definitely sat back like, holy shit, it wasn't that
862
00:37:23.880 --> 00:37:25.909
easy to go, that guy's way better than me. Like,
863
00:37:25.949 --> 00:37:28.449
I was very friendly with Colin Quinn when I was young.
864
00:37:28.489 --> 00:37:28.670
Yep.
865
00:37:29.170 --> 00:37:31.110
He kind of taught me that, giving it up to
866
00:37:31.150 --> 00:37:34.510
other guys. I met Colin when I was 17.
867
00:37:34.489 --> 00:37:34.590
He.
868
00:37:36.969 --> 00:37:39.309
Was hosting a show at the paper moon in the village.
869
00:37:39.349 --> 00:37:41.849
He used to put me on stage and like, they
870
00:37:41.869 --> 00:37:43.690
didn't like me there, but Colin used to kind of
871
00:37:43.730 --> 00:37:47.110
talk them into using me. And he always would say,
872
00:37:47.150 --> 00:37:49.650
that was so funny when you said this and try
873
00:37:49.670 --> 00:37:52.230
to give me confidence and stuff. And then I guess
874
00:37:52.269 --> 00:37:53.750
I was like, oh yeah, that would feel good. And
875
00:37:53.769 --> 00:37:56.889
then I started doing that myself, but for other comedians,
876
00:37:56.949 --> 00:38:00.380
but I get the thing the other way too. You, you,
877
00:38:00.510 --> 00:38:03.619
when you see someone kill with something, You can go, oh, shit,
878
00:38:03.659 --> 00:38:04.659
I better get to work.
879
00:38:04.719 --> 00:38:05.900
It can inspire you.
880
00:38:05.920 --> 00:38:07.079
It can inspire you.
881
00:38:07.119 --> 00:38:09.809
Yeah, it shouldn't just inspire you, but it also can
882
00:38:09.829 --> 00:38:11.530
knock you back and go, oh, fuck, what have I
883
00:38:11.550 --> 00:38:11.989
been doing?
884
00:38:12.050 --> 00:38:13.250
I better figure this shit out.
885
00:38:13.469 --> 00:38:16.050
Right. I think you work harder than just about anybody
886
00:38:16.250 --> 00:38:19.489
I know. You are always working really hard and you
887
00:38:19.610 --> 00:38:20.250
push yourself.
888
00:38:20.989 --> 00:38:22.170
Yeah.
889
00:38:22.349 --> 00:38:24.150
Where does that come from? Who's pushing you?
890
00:38:24.699 --> 00:38:28.159
No, I think myself, but we've had great talks about
891
00:38:28.219 --> 00:38:30.019
calming down and I know it's healthy.
892
00:38:30.039 --> 00:38:34.139
You and I have had really good talks about this.
893
00:38:34.190 --> 00:38:37.690
Late night talks, maybe I can take six months off
894
00:38:37.730 --> 00:38:41.670
and do nothing so I can just relax and enjoy life.
895
00:38:42.130 --> 00:38:44.530
And like three weeks in, I started going, oh man,
896
00:38:44.550 --> 00:38:46.480
I got to figure out what I'm doing. I just
897
00:38:46.500 --> 00:38:48.820
got to figure, I can't just sit and not think.
898
00:38:49.179 --> 00:38:51.289
I got to write stuff down or come up with
899
00:38:51.329 --> 00:38:52.849
what the next movie is or something.
900
00:38:52.869 --> 00:38:55.130
I just like it. Like I feel comfortable working.
901
00:38:55.489 --> 00:38:57.719
I got, this will make you feel better. I had
902
00:38:57.860 --> 00:39:02.280
a nice conversation with Bob Newhart, not podcast or anything.
903
00:39:02.320 --> 00:39:05.440
I just was hanging out with him. I idolize the guy.
904
00:39:06.119 --> 00:39:09.800
He's the man. And I'm talking to Bob Newhart and
905
00:39:09.840 --> 00:39:13.090
he told me, yeah, I mean, I think Bob Newhart
906
00:39:13.139 --> 00:39:18.420
is 89. I might be turning 90. And he just said, yeah, I,
907
00:39:19.070 --> 00:39:22.329
I took a little time off and I wanted to
908
00:39:22.369 --> 00:39:23.630
take some time off because I've been doing a lot
909
00:39:23.670 --> 00:39:26.289
of clubs and and and i've been in vegas a
910
00:39:26.309 --> 00:39:29.389
lot and so i took about two weeks off and
911
00:39:30.139 --> 00:39:31.380
i was sitting there in the living room and my
912
00:39:31.420 --> 00:39:33.239
wife looked at me and said you're going crazy aren't
913
00:39:33.260 --> 00:39:38.219
you and he said yeah yes i am in that
914
00:39:38.260 --> 00:39:40.320
bob newhart way and so he said so the next
915
00:39:40.360 --> 00:39:42.139
day i was on on the plane you know and
916
00:39:42.159 --> 00:39:44.639
i'm like oh my god if he i mean yeah
917
00:39:44.900 --> 00:39:47.199
there's no point this is the thing you and i
918
00:39:47.260 --> 00:39:50.510
talk about is when are we gonna Is there some
919
00:39:50.550 --> 00:39:53.530
medication we can take? I know. Technically, there actually is,
920
00:39:53.590 --> 00:39:53.889
I think.
921
00:39:53.909 --> 00:39:54.449
Yeah, yeah.
922
00:39:54.489 --> 00:39:57.610
But is there a way that it can just, you know....
923
00:39:59.130 --> 00:40:01.289
What are we trying to do right now? I don't know.
924
00:40:01.769 --> 00:40:05.070
We just love doing something we think we're good at.
925
00:40:06.349 --> 00:40:09.610
I don't understand why I keep wanting to push and
926
00:40:09.650 --> 00:40:12.889
push and push. And I don't know why I can't
927
00:40:12.929 --> 00:40:15.929
sit still. When I sit still, like Thanksgiving, man, when
928
00:40:15.969 --> 00:40:17.190
the holidays.
929
00:40:16.760 --> 00:40:20.119
Come up, I am so... nervous about.
930
00:40:19.820 --> 00:40:22.110
My behavior and how i'm gonna do at home and
931
00:40:22.570 --> 00:40:25.469
being there four days with my family and that i
932
00:40:25.489 --> 00:40:27.989
love them all so much but i know i'm gonna
933
00:40:28.050 --> 00:40:31.590
snap and i know i'm gonna i can't handle the
934
00:40:31.650 --> 00:40:35.969
rules my mother was yelling at what i wear.
935
00:40:35.650 --> 00:40:39.030
And okay let's talk about that yes okay every year
936
00:40:39.070 --> 00:40:41.469
you come to my christmas party and i'm coming this
937
00:40:41.489 --> 00:40:44.070
year okay let's give the address out in a second
938
00:40:45.070 --> 00:40:47.989
but i live i live so close to you if
939
00:40:48.050 --> 00:40:50.670
i had a real arm i could hit your your
940
00:40:50.710 --> 00:40:53.289
house with my house with a baseball uh but i
941
00:40:53.429 --> 00:40:55.690
i can't i can't really throw very far but um
942
00:40:56.460 --> 00:40:57.719
If I was like Dwight Evans and it was 1977,
943
00:40:57.719 --> 00:41:00.510
I could totally hit your house.
944
00:41:00.670 --> 00:41:02.730
You could rooster it all. Exactly.
945
00:41:03.010 --> 00:41:05.110
And so you live very close by.
946
00:41:05.130 --> 00:41:05.389
Yeah.
947
00:41:05.949 --> 00:41:07.610
First of all, I want to share one story where,
948
00:41:08.170 --> 00:41:11.579
you know, we live in this nice area and it's
949
00:41:11.960 --> 00:41:14.460
LA where people don't, they don't go up and bang
950
00:41:14.500 --> 00:41:16.719
on each other's doors. No one does anything like that.
951
00:41:16.820 --> 00:41:21.059
And one day I'm watching, I think I was watching
952
00:41:21.079 --> 00:41:23.989
a Patriots game. and there's really no one around. My
953
00:41:24.030 --> 00:41:26.610
kids are upstairs, but my wife is gone. And all
954
00:41:26.630 --> 00:41:30.670
of a sudden my buzzer starts going, and I was
955
00:41:30.690 --> 00:41:34.010
going crazy. And so I opened up the front door
956
00:41:34.469 --> 00:41:39.599
and from beyond the gate, I hear, Cody, Cody. And
957
00:41:39.619 --> 00:41:43.019
this is like, there are celebrity buses that go by
958
00:41:43.059 --> 00:41:45.780
that are looking for celebrities. And Adam Sandler is in
959
00:41:45.820 --> 00:41:47.739
the front of my house with his two.
960
00:41:47.639 --> 00:41:52.809
Kids and he's like, Cody! Cody! And I open the
961
00:41:52.829 --> 00:41:54.590
door and he goes like, hey, hey, buddy. Hey, buddy,
962
00:41:54.630 --> 00:41:54.889
how are you?
963
00:41:54.929 --> 00:41:56.730
And this is the thing, you say hey, buddy to everybody.
964
00:41:56.750 --> 00:41:58.550
And what I've noticed is that I've seen you because
965
00:41:58.570 --> 00:42:01.030
our kids go to the same school. I've seen you
966
00:42:01.050 --> 00:42:04.199
with five-year-olds, five-year-old girls. Adam Sandler will walk up to
967
00:42:04.219 --> 00:42:05.880
an old man and go, hey, buddy. And then he'll
968
00:42:05.900 --> 00:42:07.820
walk up to a five-year-old girl and go, hey, buddy,
969
00:42:07.840 --> 00:42:10.480
you look good. Love you, buddy. And the kid just
970
00:42:10.500 --> 00:42:14.130
looks up like, hey, buddy, you're doing great. Good to
971
00:42:14.150 --> 00:42:16.789
see you. A fetus could just be born. Hey, buddy.
972
00:42:18.090 --> 00:42:20.269
Good to see you, buddy. How are you, buddy? So
973
00:42:20.349 --> 00:42:22.130
you're outside my house and you're yelling and you've got
974
00:42:22.170 --> 00:42:24.699
your two kids and you like push. You're like, hey,
975
00:42:24.760 --> 00:42:27.599
we're coming in. You come push past me. You come in.
976
00:42:27.639 --> 00:42:29.320
Your kids go right upstairs to play with my kids
977
00:42:29.340 --> 00:42:31.510
because they all get along. And you're like, what's going on, buddy?
978
00:42:31.829 --> 00:42:34.190
And I say, well, come on, sit down for a second.
979
00:42:34.210 --> 00:42:35.989
You go like, I can't stay long. I can't stay long.
980
00:42:36.510 --> 00:42:38.409
You just came in. So I get you to sit down.
981
00:42:38.590 --> 00:42:40.820
I hand you a soda. We're there watching a football
982
00:42:40.840 --> 00:42:44.820
game for maybe five minutes. And then you're like, ah, kids, kids,
983
00:42:44.840 --> 00:42:46.539
we got to get out of here. We got to
984
00:42:46.579 --> 00:42:48.739
get out of here. And so you get your kids down.
985
00:42:48.760 --> 00:42:52.110
Your kids come running downstairs and their kids are like, daddy, daddy.
986
00:42:52.130 --> 00:42:54.150
And he goes, I know. And we're not welcome.
987
00:42:58.010 --> 00:43:00.360
That's one of the funniest things i think the whole
988
00:43:00.400 --> 00:43:03.639
running time was seven minutes i know when we're not
989
00:43:03.699 --> 00:43:06.619
welcome and then then i hear you and then yelling
990
00:43:06.659 --> 00:43:09.679
and then up the street absolutely.
991
00:43:09.079 --> 00:43:12.420
Hilarious i go by your house every time i go
992
00:43:12.460 --> 00:43:14.699
by your house because we go bike riding in the
993
00:43:14.719 --> 00:43:17.590
neighborhood yeah every time i pass your house i scream
994
00:43:17.610 --> 00:43:21.269
go there my kids my.
995
00:43:21.050 --> 00:43:23.889
Kids laugh every time You've been in, I've been in
996
00:43:23.929 --> 00:43:26.829
like school assemblies where the parents are there and the
997
00:43:26.869 --> 00:43:29.670
kids are there. And I don't even know, like Adam's
998
00:43:29.690 --> 00:43:31.309
sitting way in the, I don't even know he's there.
999
00:43:31.730 --> 00:43:33.590
And then they'll say something like, oh, we're also looking
1000
00:43:33.630 --> 00:43:36.690
for a volunteer who can come on Pancake Day on Saturday.
1001
00:43:36.710 --> 00:43:37.690
And then I'll hear a voice in the back go,
1002
00:43:37.710 --> 00:43:42.840
it's Conan. We do that stuff in front of like
1003
00:43:42.840 --> 00:43:43.900
800 parents.
1004
00:43:43.940 --> 00:43:46.380
We're done with that. No more elementary school together.
1005
00:43:46.460 --> 00:43:46.780
I know.
1006
00:43:46.820 --> 00:43:48.079
That hurts. I know.
1007
00:43:48.480 --> 00:43:50.699
But it's still, well, I wouldn't say it's the best.
1008
00:43:50.739 --> 00:43:51.639
You say everything's the best.
1009
00:43:51.659 --> 00:43:52.679
Nah, it's the best, buddy.
1010
00:43:53.079 --> 00:43:56.900
You also, you will show up, regardless of the event,
1011
00:43:57.280 --> 00:44:00.559
it could be a funeral for a president. Yeah. And
1012
00:44:00.579 --> 00:44:03.940
you will show up wearing basketball shorts.
1013
00:44:04.039 --> 00:44:05.079
Yes.
1014
00:44:05.179 --> 00:44:08.750
Giant balloon sneakers, a mismatched T-shirt.
1015
00:44:08.849 --> 00:44:09.130
Yeah.
1016
00:44:09.389 --> 00:44:12.730
And a balloon, you know, vest of some kind. Yeah.
1017
00:44:12.750 --> 00:44:12.949
Puffy vest.
1018
00:44:13.010 --> 00:44:13.670
Puffy vest.
1019
00:44:14.139 --> 00:44:14.409
Yeah.
1020
00:44:14.469 --> 00:44:16.219
And a hat on sideways. What's going on there?
1021
00:44:16.960 --> 00:44:18.500
It's all about being comfortable.
1022
00:44:18.519 --> 00:44:23.519
I think it stems from my mother making me dress
1023
00:44:23.699 --> 00:44:25.980
nicer as a kid and I hated it and I
1024
00:44:26.000 --> 00:44:26.519
was itchy.
1025
00:44:27.079 --> 00:44:29.340
I think it's all from not wanting to be itchy. Because, you.
1026
00:44:32.969 --> 00:44:35.250
Know, you're always welcome that way at my home. I
1027
00:44:35.269 --> 00:44:38.150
just sometimes I think that if you were, say someday
1028
00:44:38.170 --> 00:44:41.010
you won the Nobel Peace Prize for comedy and you
1029
00:44:41.050 --> 00:44:44.389
were brought to Oslo. And and you got up on
1030
00:44:44.449 --> 00:44:47.820
stage and all the people there were wearing like, you know,
1031
00:44:47.940 --> 00:44:50.000
and you would be wearing a Lakers jersey.
1032
00:44:50.880 --> 00:44:55.829
You know, I'm doing better. I think I'm trying to
1033
00:44:55.889 --> 00:44:57.690
dress better on occasion. I did that.
1034
00:44:58.150 --> 00:45:01.230
Meyerowitz, we went to Cannes or Cannes and I wore
1035
00:45:01.269 --> 00:45:03.409
a tight suit and I was in a bad mood,
1036
00:45:03.550 --> 00:45:04.139
but I wore it.
1037
00:45:04.349 --> 00:45:05.070
You were in a bad mood?
1038
00:45:05.369 --> 00:45:09.050
Well, yes, but it was fun. But I don't love
1039
00:45:09.070 --> 00:45:11.369
being in a suit. You handle it every night. You
1040
00:45:11.409 --> 00:45:12.099
don't like it, do you?
1041
00:45:12.110 --> 00:45:13.969
Yeah, I'm not going to wear a suit anymore. When
1042
00:45:14.010 --> 00:45:15.679
we come back in January, I'm not going to wear
1043
00:45:15.699 --> 00:45:15.909
a suit.
1044
00:45:16.199 --> 00:45:16.519
Really?
1045
00:45:16.760 --> 00:45:17.019
Yeah.
1046
00:45:17.179 --> 00:45:19.059
I mean, I'll wear, I'll dress nicely, but I'm not
1047
00:45:19.079 --> 00:45:19.699
going to wear a suit.
1048
00:45:19.719 --> 00:45:20.420
That's cool.
1049
00:45:20.500 --> 00:45:22.639
I'm just like, no, I can't do it anymore.
1050
00:45:22.820 --> 00:45:24.630
Are you going to do monologues up front?
1051
00:45:24.849 --> 00:45:27.210
Not, I can't do long ones because I got less time,
1052
00:45:27.550 --> 00:45:30.070
which I actually like. The whole theory is give myself
1053
00:45:30.110 --> 00:45:32.150
less time and I might get better. I got to
1054
00:45:32.289 --> 00:45:33.809
try something to shake it up.
1055
00:45:33.929 --> 00:45:34.349
That's great.
1056
00:45:34.349 --> 00:45:38.440
25 years. So, um, so just kind of sitting down
1057
00:45:38.559 --> 00:45:40.900
and think we're gonna, well, no, there's going to be
1058
00:45:40.960 --> 00:45:42.860
comedy up front. I got to do comedy. I want
1059
00:45:42.880 --> 00:45:46.409
to do comedy, you know, but, uh, I, I, I can't,
1060
00:45:47.289 --> 00:45:48.809
I don't want to come out and stand there in
1061
00:45:48.849 --> 00:45:52.539
a suit and say, Oh, Trump. You know, you hear
1062
00:45:52.579 --> 00:45:55.500
what his acting director of foreign affairs said today.
1063
00:45:55.539 --> 00:45:57.260
I mean, I don't want to do it. Yeah, I
1064
00:45:57.260 --> 00:45:57.559
got you.
1065
00:45:57.579 --> 00:45:59.539
We got plenty of people doing that. No one needs
1066
00:45:59.579 --> 00:46:00.159
me doing that.
1067
00:46:00.440 --> 00:46:01.210
Well, you've done it.
1068
00:46:01.420 --> 00:46:02.980
I'll make balloon animals or something.
1069
00:46:03.000 --> 00:46:05.690
Well, I'm looking forward to it, Conan. But you're going
1070
00:46:05.710 --> 00:46:06.449
to have one guest?
1071
00:46:07.130 --> 00:46:07.789
Just one guest.
1072
00:46:08.110 --> 00:46:08.710
It's going to be great.
1073
00:46:08.889 --> 00:46:13.739
Yeah. It's going to be Tuesdays. It's you. It's going
1074
00:46:13.760 --> 00:46:15.090
to affect your career a little bit.
1075
00:46:15.139 --> 00:46:15.590
Not at all.
1076
00:46:15.619 --> 00:46:19.389
You can't travel. You've got to come in.
1077
00:46:19.409 --> 00:46:23.150
I'm fine with that.
1078
00:46:23.230 --> 00:46:24.969
Yeah. So what do you think? We can be happy?
1079
00:46:25.010 --> 00:46:28.030
Can we be happy? That's the question is, can we
1080
00:46:28.070 --> 00:46:28.530
be happy?
1081
00:46:28.570 --> 00:46:29.320
We are happy.
1082
00:46:29.480 --> 00:46:31.860
We are very happy, me and you. And we have
1083
00:46:31.880 --> 00:46:34.519
a good time. We like our families. We like that
1084
00:46:34.719 --> 00:46:35.940
we got to do this so long.
1085
00:46:36.460 --> 00:46:39.619
I think... We don't feel like we accomplished it all yet.
1086
00:46:39.699 --> 00:46:42.059
Maybe there's more for us to say and do, and
1087
00:46:42.119 --> 00:46:43.309
that's why we keep doing it.
1088
00:46:44.880 --> 00:46:47.059
I have known this guy for, Jesus, I'm not even
1089
00:46:47.079 --> 00:46:49.260
going to say how many years, because it's frightening.
1090
00:46:50.110 --> 00:46:51.250
I think it's 30, buddy.
1091
00:46:51.309 --> 00:46:56.670
I think it's 30 years, and you are an exceptionally...
1092
00:46:56.369 --> 00:46:59.210
The easy thing to say about you is that people
1093
00:46:59.269 --> 00:47:03.940
know is you're very talented, and you're very hardworking. But
1094
00:47:03.980 --> 00:47:07.920
you are an exceptionally loyal and nice person. Do yourself
1095
00:47:07.960 --> 00:47:11.079
a favor. I howled out loud to the point where
1096
00:47:11.119 --> 00:47:13.440
I was asked to shut up when I was watching
1097
00:47:14.179 --> 00:47:19.849
Adam's Netflix special. It's really unique. It's a great approach.
1098
00:47:20.570 --> 00:47:23.389
And what can I say? It's just pure entertainment the
1099
00:47:23.429 --> 00:47:24.889
whole time. And I'm really happy for you.
1100
00:47:25.010 --> 00:47:27.309
I love you. Thanks for all that, Conan. You too.
1101
00:47:27.329 --> 00:47:28.510
You're the man. Yeah.
1102
00:47:28.670 --> 00:47:30.010
I'm going to cut out all the stuff I just said,
1103
00:47:30.030 --> 00:47:31.309
and then we're going to have you just say it.
1104
00:47:32.219 --> 00:47:34.320
You da man, and we're going to repeat it on
1105
00:47:34.340 --> 00:47:36.329
a loop, and you're going to sound like an idiot.
1106
00:47:37.210 --> 00:47:38.690
All right, Adam Sandler, everybody.
1107
00:47:39.369 --> 00:47:41.110
Who you da man, who you da man, who you
1108
00:47:41.130 --> 00:47:42.570
da man, who you da man, who you.
1109
00:47:42.530 --> 00:47:48.119
Da man, who you da man.
1110
00:47:48.599 --> 00:47:51.280
And now it's time for a segment called Conan O'Brien
1111
00:47:51.300 --> 00:47:52.909
Pays Off the Mortgage on His Beach House.
1112
00:47:55.179 --> 00:47:59.980
All of a sudden there are a lot more Munster
1113
00:48:00.039 --> 00:48:03.539
voices in Trump Park. Players collapse to the ground.
1114
00:48:03.559 --> 00:48:05.239
It is utter heartbreak.
1115
00:48:05.400 --> 00:48:08.179
Alcaraz rewrites the tennis history books.
1116
00:48:08.440 --> 00:48:10.039
Just take in that noise.
1117
00:48:10.440 --> 00:48:14.280
Feel every moment with Sports Extra from Sky. Pure joy.
1118
00:48:14.380 --> 00:48:17.219
Get all the best football, rugby, tennis and more from
1119
00:48:17.280 --> 00:48:19.360
Premier Sports and TNT Sports.
1120
00:48:19.719 --> 00:48:21.320
And they'll enjoy this.
1121
00:48:21.420 --> 00:48:21.840
Sky.
1122
00:48:22.039 --> 00:48:22.920
Believe in better.
1123
00:48:23.469 --> 00:48:26.449
A new baby brings joy, but it can be distressing
1124
00:48:26.489 --> 00:48:29.170
if your baby suffers from colic. Did you know up
1125
00:48:29.210 --> 00:48:32.320
to one in five babies experience colic symptoms and in
1126
00:48:32.360 --> 00:48:36.239
about 40% of cases it's caused by temporary lactose intolerance?
1127
00:48:36.659 --> 00:48:40.039
Award-winning Colif Infant Drops help break down lactose in milk
1128
00:48:40.099 --> 00:48:43.860
before feeding, reducing colic discomfort for your little one and
1129
00:48:43.960 --> 00:48:53.590
bringing peace of mind for you. Colif Infant Drops. Okay, now.
1130
00:48:53.349 --> 00:49:03.110
It's time for a segment Sona does not like called
1131
00:49:03.349 --> 00:49:07.349
True or False with Sona Movsesian. Sona, many of the
1132
00:49:07.409 --> 00:49:10.829
arguments that we have in real life revolve around your
1133
00:49:10.909 --> 00:49:13.030
memory or lack of memory.
1134
00:49:13.210 --> 00:49:13.630
Is that true?
1135
00:49:14.190 --> 00:49:15.769
I would say that's accurate.
1136
00:49:15.849 --> 00:49:16.550
What do you think happens?
1137
00:49:17.199 --> 00:49:20.010
I think that you ask me to do something and
1138
00:49:20.050 --> 00:49:22.849
then on my way to do it, I get distracted
1139
00:49:22.989 --> 00:49:26.840
by a friend or something else. And then I just
1140
00:49:26.889 --> 00:49:29.400
completely forget to do what you asked me to do.
1141
00:49:30.380 --> 00:49:33.519
It's incredible because I've seen it happen. There was a
1142
00:49:33.579 --> 00:49:37.059
time on the tour we just did where I really
1143
00:49:37.099 --> 00:49:39.710
needed a banana and they were on the other side
1144
00:49:39.730 --> 00:49:42.380
of the room. And I remembered saying they were on
1145
00:49:42.400 --> 00:49:43.619
the other side of the room near where you were.
1146
00:49:43.639 --> 00:49:44.900
And I said, could you grab me that banana? And
1147
00:49:44.920 --> 00:49:47.119
you said, no problem. And you started to walk towards
1148
00:49:47.659 --> 00:49:51.090
where the banana was. And on the way you started
1149
00:49:51.130 --> 00:49:53.610
talking to other people that were in the room. And
1150
00:49:53.650 --> 00:49:56.929
then you went and sat down and didn't get the banana.
1151
00:49:57.610 --> 00:49:59.860
And the people that were sitting with me were astounded.
1152
00:50:00.559 --> 00:50:02.340
They were astounded. And I looked at you and you
1153
00:50:02.360 --> 00:50:03.860
were saying, what are you looking at me for, dude?
1154
00:50:04.179 --> 00:50:05.780
And I wasn't even mad. I was more just.
1155
00:50:06.050 --> 00:50:06.769
I didn't say that.
1156
00:50:06.909 --> 00:50:07.389
What did you say?
1157
00:50:07.670 --> 00:50:10.190
You always make, you always make me sound like a,
1158
00:50:10.389 --> 00:50:11.550
like a dude.
1159
00:50:12.150 --> 00:50:12.769
Oh, come on.
1160
00:50:12.769 --> 00:50:13.369
Forget you.
1161
00:50:13.449 --> 00:50:16.550
I forgot it. That's not what I do. I'm like, oh,
1162
00:50:16.590 --> 00:50:18.340
I'm sorry. I forgot it. And then you get mad
1163
00:50:18.360 --> 00:50:18.469
at me.
1164
00:50:18.469 --> 00:50:19.980
But how do you forget from going from one end
1165
00:50:20.019 --> 00:50:20.940
of the room to the other?
1166
00:50:21.099 --> 00:50:24.400
Because I got caught up in conversation and it's a banana.
1167
00:50:24.599 --> 00:50:26.079
Who cares about a banana?
1168
00:50:26.099 --> 00:50:26.440
Yeah.
1169
00:50:27.090 --> 00:50:29.530
But the thing is, it's so funny. I wasn't even
1170
00:50:29.570 --> 00:50:32.750
that mad. I was more, I was more scared for you.
1171
00:50:32.989 --> 00:50:33.469
Okay.
1172
00:50:33.590 --> 00:50:35.679
I really did. I was in that moment. I thought
1173
00:50:35.699 --> 00:50:37.940
we have to get you a CAT scan. Oh, okay.
1174
00:50:38.059 --> 00:50:38.440
No, I did.
1175
00:50:38.539 --> 00:50:40.500
And from a medical point of view, I consider myself
1176
00:50:40.539 --> 00:50:44.119
a doctor. My knowledge of medicine, my dad's a doctor.
1177
00:50:44.139 --> 00:50:46.679
So that makes me a doctor just from being around him.
1178
00:50:46.980 --> 00:50:48.139
I was just concerned for you.
1179
00:50:48.300 --> 00:50:50.590
Wait, that's, first of all, that's not true.
1180
00:50:50.610 --> 00:50:52.130
It doesn't matter what I say to you because you'll
1181
00:50:52.150 --> 00:50:55.179
forget soon anyway. Okay. Come on.
1182
00:50:55.400 --> 00:50:56.119
We're having a good laugh.
1183
00:50:56.199 --> 00:50:57.239
Oh wait, only I'm laughing.
1184
00:50:57.300 --> 00:50:59.139
The problem is, is that when I forget to do
1185
00:50:59.199 --> 00:51:01.039
something and I'm like, oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to
1186
00:51:01.079 --> 00:51:03.440
do it. That's not enough for you. You're like, I
1187
00:51:03.480 --> 00:51:06.179
want you to feel bad for not getting me that banana.
1188
00:51:06.559 --> 00:51:08.420
And then when I just kind of am like, I
1189
00:51:08.460 --> 00:51:10.739
forgot to do it for you. You're like, how can
1190
00:51:10.780 --> 00:51:12.880
you just, you're basically have this, like, how can you
1191
00:51:12.920 --> 00:51:14.050
just sit there and.
1192
00:51:14.010 --> 00:51:16.510
Just act like you don't know how you can live
1193
00:51:17.050 --> 00:51:19.269
when you know that you didn't get me that banana.
1194
00:51:21.570 --> 00:51:22.079
How can you.
1195
00:51:22.159 --> 00:51:23.380
Continue to live?
1196
00:51:23.940 --> 00:51:25.800
You've got to live with that the rest of your life.
1197
00:51:26.239 --> 00:51:27.079
I do.
1198
00:51:27.280 --> 00:51:30.159
I never feel as bad about it as you want
1199
00:51:30.179 --> 00:51:32.599
me to feel. And I think that it upsets you.
1200
00:51:32.800 --> 00:51:34.119
I think you feel bad about a lot of things.
1201
00:51:34.139 --> 00:51:36.840
I think if I had, let's say I needed insulin
1202
00:51:36.880 --> 00:51:37.599
to stay alive.
1203
00:51:37.860 --> 00:51:39.639
Okay. And I was dying and I asked you to
1204
00:51:39.659 --> 00:51:40.940
get my insulin on the other side of the room,
1205
00:51:40.960 --> 00:51:44.639
but you stopped halfway through because there was an episode
1206
00:51:45.070 --> 00:51:46.469
of You Tell Me.
1207
00:51:46.889 --> 00:51:48.530
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
1208
00:51:48.550 --> 00:51:48.869
Yeah.
1209
00:51:49.070 --> 00:51:51.170
And you started watching that and I didn't get it.
1210
00:51:51.760 --> 00:51:54.550
And then I went into shock and then I passed away.
1211
00:51:54.570 --> 00:51:55.440
You'd be at the funeral like.
1212
00:51:56.050 --> 00:51:58.469
Oh, oh, he didn't get his insulin.
1213
00:51:58.550 --> 00:52:01.690
Boo hoo, TV show host didn't get his insulin.
1214
00:52:01.869 --> 00:52:03.090
That's not what I would do.
1215
00:52:03.329 --> 00:52:04.570
That was probably an extreme example.
1216
00:52:04.889 --> 00:52:08.110
Yeah, I would say so. You dying compared to you
1217
00:52:08.130 --> 00:52:09.190
just eating a banana?
1218
00:52:09.409 --> 00:52:10.530
Oh, that was a good banana though.
1219
00:52:11.110 --> 00:52:11.489
God.
1220
00:52:11.650 --> 00:52:13.750
Well, you ended up getting up and getting it.
1221
00:52:13.889 --> 00:52:15.550
I went and got it myself. No, it was good.
1222
00:52:15.710 --> 00:52:16.210
I learned.
1223
00:52:16.230 --> 00:52:16.769
You ended up with a banana.
1224
00:52:16.789 --> 00:52:18.570
You know what was great? I learned that I can
1225
00:52:18.610 --> 00:52:19.829
go get a banana by myself.
1226
00:52:20.050 --> 00:52:20.389
Good.
1227
00:52:20.429 --> 00:52:21.550
That was a teaching moment.
1228
00:52:21.840 --> 00:52:22.940
That's what I wanted to do.
1229
00:52:22.980 --> 00:52:25.659
That's why I didn't get you a banana. I wanted
1230
00:52:25.679 --> 00:52:28.940
to teach you that you could be self-sufficient in getting
1231
00:52:28.960 --> 00:52:29.780
your own fruit.
1232
00:52:34.210 --> 00:52:38.130
Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Sona Movsesian and Conan
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O'Brien as himself.
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Produced by me, Matt Gourley.
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Executive produced by Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross at Team
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Coco and Colin Anderson and Chris Bannon at Earwolf.
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Special thanks to Jack White and the White Stripes for
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the theme song.
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Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. You can rate and review
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this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your
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review featured on a future episode. Got a question for Conan?
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Call the Team Coco hotline at 323-451-2821 and leave a message. It, too,
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could be featured on a future episode. And if you
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haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend
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on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
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This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.