On the Other Side of Fear Is the Solution | Liam Sullivan on Addiction, Chelsea & Finding Purpose.

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Losing my dad and having battles with alcoholism and addiction.
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There was moments and times in that period where.
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What would you say to anybody listening that's going through a really difficult time that feels they can't speak up there?
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You don't get through it unless you talk.
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I was scared.
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But don't be afraid.
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Because on the other side of fear is always a solution.
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And you have to go through it.
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And if you don't speak, I've lost some friends to the people that didn't speak, and it's really sad.
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I would just say, look, no matter how bad you think it is, there's probably someone out there going through similar or worse.
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Like there's always someone that you can reach out to.
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How did you get past the struggles essentially versus your passion for what you wanted to do?
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I just started making like Frank Lampard, John Terry, Chelsea compilations.
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That was kind of my escape, just like going in and like music and commentary and image.
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If you said to someone that wants to be a filmmaker, what's the perfect schooling ground?
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It's a wedding.
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I did my first one in 2014.
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I said it to the bride, and she cried with happiness.
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And I said, that's it.
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I said, that is what I want to do.
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If you can make someone feel something through what you're doing, it's such a powerful tool.
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You are a shining example of what really just feeling what you're feeling, talking about it, and making stuff happen.
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Talk about being spiritual and believing in a higher power.
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If I wrote a book or if you mapped it out from where I was going to go from there to what I'm doing today, someone's looking over me.
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Being sober now, coming up five years, share my experience and help someone else.
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Everything you're saying speaks to every bit of understanding of what life is about.
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It's about giving back.
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If anything's resonated with you today, please drop me a DM.
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I'll talk to anyone and I want to help.
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So yeah, please get in touch.
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Liquidator there to start the show.
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Thank you for being with me today.
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If you've just tuned in, you're listening to Kelly Sayward on Marlowe FM.
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And today I've got a wonderful show, really inspirational guest.
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I'm joined by Liam Sullivan in the studio.
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Good morning, Liam.
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Tell me a little bit about the history of that song for you.
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So that song means a lot to me because I'm a massive Chelsea fan, and my dad was also a massive Chelsea fan.
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So that version of the Little Netter was definitely the Chelsea version, not the West Brom or the Wolves version or whatever you like to think.
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Growing up, that was always every Saturday morning playing in the house.
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And it's just a lovely memory of being a kid.
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So first up, let's go way back.
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Are you local to Marlowe?
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Yeah, so I live, I grew up in Windsor, just down the road, and um yeah, very local.
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So grew up born and bred Windsor boy, went to Windsor Boys school, and uh yeah, love this area very much, very grateful to be born in such a lovely area.
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What was your favourite thing about school, Liam?
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I didn't really get on at school.
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So like going to school as a kid, like I was fine, I was quite intelligent, but sort of growing up, like I never never really liked authority, that sort of thing.
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And I sort of I struggled at school a little bit because I'm dyslexic, definitely ADHD, but undiagnosed, but diagnosed dyslexic, and just all of because I'm a creative person.
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I've always I've always struggled to like fit into a box, if that's what makes sense.
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So school for me was difficult growing up, but particularly when I got to 14, I lost my dad suddenly um to a cardiac arrest, and that was for me when school I became really rebellious, and being at an all-boys' school just wasn't really the environment for me.
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So, sort of from year nine onwards, I always say I could have done my GCSEs at the end of like year nine and got the same grades because year 10 and 11 were pretty much a write-off.
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Yeah, I I hear you, but well, we're not we're not talking about me today.
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I I feel that that must have been quite difficult for you then.
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So not only were you at school in this environment which didn't really suit your needs, and your body probably felt dysregulated there, you then had and suffered trauma.
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Yeah, it's like there's a lot of testosterone in an all-boys' school.
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And look, it's it's a great school, there's great people there, but you're just in that environment.
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So there's so much testosterone.
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And I was coming to an age where I was always a mummy's boy growing up, and year nine, I was someone getting bullied, but I was struggling a bit because I had a bit of a speech impediment.
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People used to kind of like take the mick, that sort of thing.
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And at that time, I got really close to my dad.
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I was always a bit scared of him because he was like a bit, he was always like the disciplinarian.
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Um, and I just remember like just before he passed away two months before he was off work, and I got really close to him, and I was having conversations with him that I would never have before, and I was like, I'm becoming a man now, and then to be 14 and wake up one morning for school and your dad has a cardiac arrest and is no longer here that changes everything because all of a sudden, um you just like I remember just going, Well, my life's over now.
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What's the point?
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There's no one to discipline me anymore, my dad's not here, so I'm gonna be rebellious, I don't care if I get in trouble because that's changed.
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And I remember a doctor saying after like 14 for a boy is the worst age to lose a father, and I think for a girl it might be 12 or maybe 16, so it was like right in the in the middle of it.
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Um, yeah, and then having to go try and go back to school after that, being that environment without a father figure was was really tough.
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Can I ask you as well?
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And feel free to only answer what feels comfortable.
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But at that time, so you're already at school, not really enjoying parts of that because you've got your own struggles.
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When your world imploded, essentially, how did that feel?
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Because we both know that over time support and awareness is growing, but at that time, I'm imagining well, I don't know.
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What was that like?
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What awareness was that?
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It was at first, it was just shock.
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Um, he died on the Thursday.
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I went back to school on the Monday, and I walked through the courtyard at the school, and like I think I got to lesson two and I broke down and had to go in, but there was nothing complained because the school weren't aware, so I just went back to school on the Monday, and I remember going on the Monday thinking if that geezer that's been mugging me off for the rest of the year says something, I'm just gonna miss him because I don't I'm fearless now, and I'm like, it was that sort of fight, really weird thing.
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And I remember trying to be all like, Oh, I'm old now, my dad's died, that's my identity.
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Come on, he wants it.
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And I literally broke down in tears after an hour and got sent home.
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Thank God the school then realized what's gone on with Liam.
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I came back in two weeks later, and the school were amazing.
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There's a teacher called uh Miss McDonald, that basically she became like my support.
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Um, but yeah, it was it was terrible.
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Like my mum, I got my mum and my brother, my brother's four years older.
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He was just in total shock.
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Like he just it it's almost a blur.
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I sort of went into for the first like six weeks after it happened, I just went into shock and everyone was going because my mum and brother were struggling, and I was like trying to cook meals, make the house tidy, and sort of become the father figure.
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But um fast forward eight weeks later, sort of after being in shock, then all my anxiety and depression and all sorts of come out sideways.
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So yeah, it was a really, really tough time.
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I imagine, and that that's obviously shaped you into where you've come to today.
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When when you were in that period of time, what was it?
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What was your one thing?
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Anything at all, whether it be a person, a subject, a place, what was it that you had that kept you just above water?
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It was my love for it, sounds ridiculous.
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My love for football and being a Chelsea fan and like having that sort of switch off that I could watch.
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I remember like even in like the November after, like, I was wasn't going to school and I was struggling.
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There'd be a Chelsea game that night, or even a football game, like I'd watch anything, and it would just be that escape of just like I'm watching a game now for the next 90 minutes, I can forget about my worries, and obviously it was hard because obviously my dad took me to football when I was no longer there, but it also went ten file.
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I was like, Oh, I'm proper Chelse now, and like that was my identity.
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My identity became like the whether it's right or wrong, it was like I'm the kid that lost his dad, but I'm a massive football fan.
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Like, I I I carried that for a good sort of like well, it's carried me through to this day, and that that's okay because I feel like if you've got something to come back to, whatever the thing is, it doesn't matter, does it?
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It's like meditation, it's like you're not always coming back to your breath, you're coming back to a point of something.
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What did it feel like when you were at football?
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Like, what feelings do you have when you're submerged in that environment?
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I think as a 14-year-old, I remember so my dad literally got a season ticket six days before he died.
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We had been members at Chelsea for ages, and I remember he was texting me in school and I had my mobile, and he was like, We've got the tickets, lads, we've got three season tickets.
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So me, Joe, and my uh me, my brother, and my dad, and I was like, Oh my god, we're gonna go to football like together every week, like it's a dream, kid's dream, right?
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Um, and then obviously, because of what happened, my friend Nathan took the other season ticket, and I remember the first game of the season, Chelsea played whole, and we went one-nil down early on, and I wanted to go on the pitch and like kill Stephen Hunt.
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And it was like this this like it was all coming out like this this anger of like this sort of oh my god, like this has happened.
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It was just I was channeling everything through football.
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Um, the guy behind me who ended up becoming a really good friend, a guy called Charles.
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I was like, he was like, sit down, and I was like, You don't understand, and then Drogpa got a last minute win of me one, two, one, and it was elation.
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The guy that I've that's been hating me, we're hugging that.
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Do you know what I mean?
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And it was that I guess it was like it was a release, and it was like that sort of tribal sort of mentality that was just like channeling my energy, and you see it to this day, even now, like, and it if you don't do it as you get a bit older, it comes out sideways.
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But a lot of my pent-up aggression or energy was just all channelled into going to football, and you shout and scream for 90 minutes, and then you feel like you've dumped it on the stadium, and then you leave.
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Some people call that healthy as you get older.
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I don't know, but yeah, it was it was a real sort of escape.
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Yeah, it's interesting, isn't it?
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Because you know, I mean, I don't know how much you believe in, but what a gift essentially for your dad to get those season tickets at that point in time when you know you didn't know he was leaving where we are in this space right now, but to give you that gift for you to almost be connected to him and process what you feel because I don't know about you, but people just people just want to belong somewhere, they want to be part of something.
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And football, you're part of something.
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You're you know, everyone's behind you know the World Cup.
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I'm not a team supporter, but the World Cup, there is nothing like it, is there?
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That feeling of being in a room of everybody like, come on, we're together.
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Um, so I can imagine, yeah, it's a healthy place where you can be loud, you can lash out in reason with a reason.
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Um, and just have that space for you.
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Wow, so that's still really important for you in your life now.
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Yeah, massively.
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And like, as I'm sure we'll come on to a bit later, like my career's been sort of shaped by my love for football with what I do today, who I'm working with, like talk about being spiritual and believing in a higher power.
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Like, if I wrote a book or if you mapped it out from where I was going to go from there to what I'm doing today, it's someone's looking over me.
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Yeah, definitely.
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So at school, did you play football?
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Um, yeah, I played football.
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Um, was all right, but I wasn't like great.
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But again, it was one of those things that I used to be a goalkeeper.
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My dad used to always stand on the side of the pitch and like coach me.
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So all the other parents would sit on the halfway line, they'd be behind the goal, tell me when to come out, tell me when to stay on the line, that sort of thing.
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And then I chose I wanted to play out on pitch because I wanted to go for the glory.
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So I went when I was about 12 and it went to 11 aside, I was like, Oh, I'm too small to go and goal.
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So I went out on pitch.
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Um, but then again, it was one of those things.
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When my dad passed away, I lost my love for playing football too.
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So I still carried on playing for like two more years, but I just it really sort of plummeted, like in terms of the playing.
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And I don't know if that's because he wasn't there watching me, but it was definitely something played a part in it.
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And maybe your last two years at school at the same time.
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Massive.
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There's so many things I want to ask you.
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I want to come on to what you did after school and a million things, Liam.
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But we're gonna play another track.
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So we've got Oasis Wonder Wall.
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Love it.
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Tell me why this track.
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So you just spoke about the World Cup, and obviously, I was lucky enough to be filming there with uh a Tottenham legend, David Bentley, an Arsenal legend.
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Um, and we were in we were with all the England fans, and this was just the song of the summer.
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I was lucky enough to be in the Azteca, England, Mexico, and they played this out, and it was just an incredible moment.
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You are listening to Kelly Sayward on Good Morning Marlone.
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Thank you for being with me today.
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Yes, thank you for staying with me.
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If you've just tuned in, you're here for a good conversation.
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I'm joined by Liam Sullivan, filmmaker, and we are exploring all the wonder that brought him to where he is today.
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Liam, thank you for not leaving.
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No worries, very great just that last song.
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What a banger.
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I know it is, isn't it?
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In fact, you've played some great tracks, and we have got more to come.
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So we are here right up until midday.
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So we were just talking about, you know, where you began, your life at school, it got quite tough for you.
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What did life look like when you left school?
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What, you know, where did you when that c that time came?
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What did you want to do?
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What did it look like?
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So at school, like I say, I wasn't really getting on with any teachers or anything.
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And my brother, one day he was studying, he brought home a film that he'd done because he was studying media studies, he was four years older, and I watched the film and he'd done a car chase sequence.
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I was like, that's cool, how did you do that?
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And he was like, Oh, it's called video editing and all that.
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And I was massively into my football.
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And as a kid growing up, I used to always watch the Super Sunday on Sky Sports, and at the end of the game, they'd play a football compilation with commentary and music, and I was like, that's cool.
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So I downloaded like some video editing software, and I just started making like Frank Lampard, John Terry, Diddy A Drogba, like Chelsea compilations, and that was we spoke about it earlier, that was kind of my escape, just like going in and like music and commentary and image and just all that.
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So I went through school and again I scraped through, I got my five A's to C's, which meant that I could go to college and do media.
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And like I say, I wasn't very academic after that point.
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So I went to college, I did two years there, but again, it was very much sort of written work and I was dyslexic.
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So all my every time I had to go and film something, it was distinction star.
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Every time it was, can you write how you did it or do the admin side of it?
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It was rubbish.
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So I kind of just did that, but I enjoyed college, but I sort of self-taught myself like the teachers were good with the theory, but I sort of learned on YouTube how to become a better videographer, better editor, and then fast forward after two years of being at college, I decided to go to university.
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Um, and I did go, but again, it was all the same sort of pattern of it was like written work, that sort of thing.
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So eventually I left after six months and became a runner and sort of set up my own freelance business on the side, um, and then just started plugging away at that.
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You were obviously very good at it, but because of your dyslexia and everything, you're you know experiencing difficulty because it's almost as though the credit of your work in the educational system is almost valued on things that actually aren't important in the scheme of what you're doing now, but there are tick boxes, aren't they?
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So that's why I believe, by the way, that people really struggle getting into what they want to do because you might have a bad teacher or a bad support network, or someone tells you now or that you're not good at something, and it can literally absolutely throw you off.
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How did you get past the the the struggles essentially versus your passion for what you wanted to do?
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It was it was really tricky, and like what we didn't touch on either in that as I was also going through a lot personally as well.
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So whilst going through college, I was battling the grief of my father.
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Obviously, around that sort of age, 16 to 22, drink gets involved, other things happen.
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So I was very much sort of in like a very up and down, topsy turvy sort of road where I was sort of escaping at the weekend through drink and other things, trying to do my college at the same time, going to uni, and just constantly like I think for me why I struggled was I just I was maybe I'm a bit rebellious, but I just felt like no one's giving me what I need.
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No one's like everything like you look at kids today, no one fits into a box, everyone's different, especially nowadays.
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Kids going into school, no one and you can't customize things for everyone.
00:16:41.600 --> 00:16:59.600
But when I was at uni or when I was at college, I sort of need someone to put an arm around me, and I did like there was some really good teachers that sort of helped me through, but sort of say, look, we know you're good at that, so why don't we rather than judge you based on all this other stuff, you don't really need those skills to do what you do today.
00:16:59.919 --> 00:17:19.039
So it's sort of navigating that, but I just yeah, I just struggled, and like I say, the best thing I ever did was leaving the education system and just going to make teas and coffees at a TV studio because that's where you meet people, that's where you network, that's when I and I'd encourage anyone, like if you're young and you want to break into the industry, go out there and get experience.
00:17:19.519 --> 00:17:22.720
Yeah, I think experience is key, isn't it?
00:17:22.799 --> 00:17:25.839
Because we're basically living one big experience here.
00:17:26.000 --> 00:17:30.880
I mean, that's what life is about, and something else that you said there, Liam, that's so important.
00:17:31.039 --> 00:17:45.359
I know you touched on it earlier as well, is that you were talking to people because you obviously experienced uh trauma followed by grief, which isn't just a one-hit wonder, you don't just have a bit of grief, get over it and move on.
00:17:45.519 --> 00:17:50.079
And you're trying to navigate life, what you want to do alongside these feelings.
00:17:50.240 --> 00:17:55.119
So the fact that you were talking to people, some people don't feel they can do that.
00:17:55.599 --> 00:17:56.880
I was I was so lucky.
00:17:56.960 --> 00:18:00.000
Um, I've always been an open book and I've always spoken to my mum.
00:18:00.079 --> 00:18:02.160
My mum has been like incredible.
00:18:02.240 --> 00:18:09.839
Like I never have enough words to describe what one what she went through with me and my brother, but and my losing my dad and how she's like raised us after that.
00:18:09.920 --> 00:18:11.359
But I was always lucky that I spoke.
00:18:11.519 --> 00:18:20.799
So from like a young age, I was in CAMs, um, so child and adolescent mental health support, I went to Maidenhead and I was always speaking to people, and that saved me.
00:18:20.880 --> 00:18:57.200
Because I honestly think that if I wasn't when I went through that period of sort of fought into well, even to where I am today after losing my dad and the battles that I've had with maybe addiction and alcoholism and that sort of thing, you you don't get through it unless you talk, and talking's always been my superpower, so thank God that I did talk because yeah, there was moments and times in that period where picking up the phone and I've had counsellors, life coaches, um I saw a lady called Julia for six years did neurolinguistic programming that massively changed my whole psyche on certain thoughts and feelings.
00:18:57.279 --> 00:19:02.079
Um, we could go on for ages, but I'm conscious of on a radio show, so I was not careful at time.
00:19:03.279 --> 00:19:04.960
I think that's I mean, amazing.
00:19:05.039 --> 00:19:13.279
I mean, I know the benefits of things like NLP and CAMS and what wonderful work they do, and the the vast amount of people out there that are able to help.
00:19:13.359 --> 00:19:23.359
And I'm really pro, I've I've seeked support myself, and I think what would you say to anybody listening that's going through a really difficult time that feels they can't speak up?
00:19:24.160 --> 00:19:25.279
Just don't be afraid.
00:19:25.440 --> 00:19:31.359
Because on the other side of Phil, I remember when when things got really bad for me and I was drinking too much and going through what I was going.
00:19:31.680 --> 00:19:36.319
This was a lot, I was a lot older, I was like 20 23 at the time.
00:19:36.799 --> 00:19:40.720
The person I didn't want to tell the most was my mum because I didn't want to hurt her.
00:19:40.799 --> 00:19:44.240
Because I was like, she's already gone through stuff with my dad and everything.
00:19:44.480 --> 00:19:50.480
I was like, I just she used to think that I'd drink, I didn't want her to know about the other stuff, so I was scared.
00:19:51.039 --> 00:19:56.799
But once you talk about it and we're in we're in a better place now, my mum would always just be like, talk to me.
00:19:57.039 --> 00:20:06.720
But once I told her I could open up to other people and sort of tell what was really sort of going on, and I just think you've got to be brave because it's hard, and not everyone's in that environment.
00:20:06.799 --> 00:20:17.279
I'm very lucky I've got a very supportive family and friends and network where I can, but on the other side of that fear is always a solution, and you have to go through.
00:20:17.440 --> 00:20:21.359
And if you don't speak, then you're just gonna boil it up.
00:20:21.440 --> 00:20:26.960
And I know I've lost some friends that are people that didn't speak, and it's really sad how it ends up.
00:20:27.039 --> 00:20:42.640
So I would just say, look, no matter how bad you think it is, there's probably someone out there going through similar or worse, and just speak up, like there's always someone that you can reach out to, and there's support networks if you haven't got that, and people do want to help.
00:20:42.880 --> 00:20:50.720
You're so right, people really do want to help, and I believe that you know everybody has someone that they can connect with where they can get that.
00:20:50.799 --> 00:20:57.359
So thank thank you for sharing that because I think it's so important just that part alone, and look where it's brought you.
00:20:57.440 --> 00:21:03.119
So you've obviously spoken up, you've spoken your truth, and you have to find those safe spaces and connections, don't you?
00:21:03.200 --> 00:21:04.240
But you try again.
00:21:04.480 --> 00:21:06.880
And what did life start to feel like for you?
00:21:06.960 --> 00:21:10.000
Like when did things begin to shift where you thought, oh, do you know what?
00:21:10.079 --> 00:21:14.480
I'm I'm obviously carrying this grief, you know, and this love essentially with your dad.
00:21:15.119 --> 00:21:19.839
But I've now got this passion that I want to bring into my life.
00:21:20.000 --> 00:21:21.680
How did that begin to unfold?
00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:41.519
So I was left uni and I got a job as a TV runner at uh I got a job as a TV runner at the right stuff um after leaving uni, and I was sort of working my way up the TV ranks as a runner, tea and coffee boy, camera assistant, and then also on the side building my own video business.
00:21:41.680 --> 00:21:47.519
So I started actually filming weddings with my friend Gary, um it's also local, living in um Maidenhead.
00:21:47.839 --> 00:21:56.960
And we basically started making wedding films, and wedding films for me were perfect because it was like, right, if you said to someone it wants to be a filmmaker, what's the perfect schooling ground?
00:21:57.039 --> 00:21:59.759
It's a wedding because you can't go, can you cut, can you can you?
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:01.359
Uh, re-do the first kiss.
00:22:01.440 --> 00:22:02.799
Can you come out that down the aisle again?
00:22:02.960 --> 00:22:04.000
Can you recut the cake?
00:22:04.240 --> 00:22:04.880
You can't do it.
00:22:05.519 --> 00:22:08.079
So, doing that and sort of making films.
00:22:08.559 --> 00:22:13.279
I did my first one in 2014, sent it to the bride, and she cried with happiness.
00:22:13.359 --> 00:22:14.319
And I said, That's it.
00:22:14.559 --> 00:22:16.000
I said, That is what I want to do.
00:22:16.079 --> 00:22:23.359
Like, I want to make films with music, with emotion, and doing that was like, Wow, that's that's what it means to me.
00:22:23.440 --> 00:22:28.319
And that was 2014, and I don't think I've changed much since in terms of my approach to films.
00:22:28.480 --> 00:22:38.000
Um, went to do wedding films, and then in 2018, I got a lucky break with a client called Odchheka that's like a sports company.
00:22:38.160 --> 00:22:44.400
Um, and we started doing like um horse racing films, that sort of thing, and it just went from step to step.
00:22:44.480 --> 00:22:50.640
But one of the superpowers I had, and I guess this comes down to speaking to was networking, is just always when you're young.
00:22:50.720 --> 00:22:57.759
So when I was a tea and coffee boy, I remember I was at the right stuff working, and I knew that there was a guy that had contacts at Sky.
00:22:58.079 --> 00:23:02.240
So I was like, Oh, do you like always make sure I bought him his tea first, or do you want a snack?
00:23:02.400 --> 00:23:06.319
And all that all those sort of things, little details, but they people remember you.
00:23:06.480 --> 00:23:08.640
And then when you say, Oh, do you ever contact it here?
00:23:08.799 --> 00:23:14.640
And people, this is what I say to everyone, people want to help you in life, people that have gone further down the road than you always want to help.
00:23:14.799 --> 00:23:21.440
So I like managed to get into Sky and ended up like being a camera assistant on soccer AM, all those sort of things.
00:23:21.519 --> 00:23:36.000
So I had like two, I guess I had two sort of careers, like my TV career and like camera assistant running and my own stuff, and it just so happens that over time my own stuff's now taken over, and like I'm pretty much living living.
00:23:36.079 --> 00:23:42.000
If you if you told me what I'm doing now when I was 14, I would have never believed it'd be on my wildest dreams.
00:23:42.079 --> 00:23:44.160
So body just went tingly.
00:23:44.240 --> 00:23:45.200
I I really want to talk about that.
00:23:45.279 --> 00:23:48.880
We're gonna have another song in a minute, but first, I just want to touch on something.
00:23:49.039 --> 00:23:57.599
So you spoke about that feeling when you did the wedding films, you know, where you sent that first video off your passion for the music and the moment.
00:23:57.920 --> 00:24:01.119
That's still a thread you can tell running through what you're doing now, isn't it?
00:24:01.440 --> 00:24:01.759
100%.
00:24:02.000 --> 00:24:09.039
Like we've just finished a documentary recently that's hopefully gonna go on Amazon Prime, and we just sorting out the final details for that.
00:24:09.440 --> 00:24:27.119
And we screened it at cinema first ever premiere recently, and people were crying in like the audience, and it was um I I put it down to like people say, Oh yeah, like you can edit, but I go, it's not Metrics doing that, it's the it's the the images and the picture and the music, and it just it brings that emotion in people.
00:24:27.200 --> 00:24:30.160
And I always say to someone, like, oh, what do you want to see when you watch a film?
00:24:30.240 --> 00:24:37.519
I go, I don't care what they learned, I care how they felt when they left it because people will remember a feeling, people won't remember information.
00:24:37.680 --> 00:24:42.799
But if you can make someone feel something through what you're doing, it's such a powerful tool.
00:24:44.720 --> 00:24:46.799
I couldn't I couldn't agree more.
00:24:46.880 --> 00:24:55.599
It's honestly everything you're saying speaks to every bit of understanding of what life is about, it's how we feel, and we are gonna go to one of your tracks now.
00:24:55.680 --> 00:24:59.599
So, do we want to feel Ed Sheeran or the streets?
00:25:00.720 --> 00:25:05.119
I think let's go to Ed Sheeran because that's a song I've used in quite a lot of uh films.
00:25:05.359 --> 00:25:07.200
Here we go, let's see how we feel.
00:25:07.519 --> 00:25:13.039
It's alright to cry, even my dad does sometimes.
00:25:18.480 --> 00:25:20.880
So don't like eyes.
00:25:21.359 --> 00:25:23.759
Tears remind you you're alive.
00:25:31.279 --> 00:25:33.279
Even my dad does sometimes.
00:25:33.359 --> 00:25:35.119
I can imagine that in the back of a movie.
00:25:35.200 --> 00:25:38.559
And if you've just tuned in, you have missed a cracker of a conversation.
00:25:38.720 --> 00:25:41.200
We're sharing lots of different things, which are really important.
00:25:41.279 --> 00:25:50.480
I'm joined in the studio today by Liam Sullivan, filmmaker, and we're about to dive into the films because I believe that particular track you've used on quite a lot of movies.
00:25:50.640 --> 00:25:53.359
Yeah, well, plenty of wedding films, wedding films over the years.
00:25:53.519 --> 00:25:56.960
Um, usually the instrumental version at the end of like an emotional interlude.
00:25:57.039 --> 00:26:04.720
It always seems that when you do a flashback of a day, um get the wedding couple usually quite emotional and it's quite a powerful thing.
00:26:04.960 --> 00:26:07.759
Ed Sheeran's quite a well-played wedding artist, I hear.
00:26:08.000 --> 00:26:08.480
Yeah, he is.
00:26:08.559 --> 00:26:09.440
And you know what's funny?
00:26:09.519 --> 00:26:21.359
When we actually moved away from weddings, um, a little joke, it was actually Ed Sheeran Perfect that actually got me sick of filming weddings because I was editing the same song every week with the same music and sending it to the client.
00:26:21.519 --> 00:26:26.160
So yeah, we we moved away from that in um luckily just before COVID.
00:26:26.319 --> 00:26:39.200
So we sort of moved away from weddings in 2020, and that was when all my sports stuff kind of uh took off, and that sort of brings me to sort of where I am today, really, which is kind of living my childhood dream.
00:26:39.279 --> 00:26:43.759
Um, I'm working with a lot of uh footballers, ex-footballers.
00:26:43.920 --> 00:26:50.240
Um, as we said earlier, I've just had a documentary that's hoping to reach a streaming platform soon.
00:26:50.319 --> 00:26:56.160
We had the premiere of that the other day, so yeah, my life today it's it's pretty, pretty amazing.
00:26:56.400 --> 00:27:03.759
I know I want to go into that a little bit before we kind of come on to you know all the different parts that you know keeping you supported in life with what you're doing.
00:27:03.839 --> 00:27:14.079
But you've obviously had this challenging time at school, loved football, wobbled out of football a bit through grief, but your passion for the players and the sport is still very much there.
00:27:14.240 --> 00:27:17.359
But media has been in your life ever since.
00:27:17.599 --> 00:27:20.720
College, university wasn't the route, but you got straight into it.
00:27:20.799 --> 00:27:22.960
And now we're not underestimating Liam.
00:27:23.200 --> 00:27:27.920
You are doing amazing stuff, filmmaking.
00:27:28.000 --> 00:27:32.319
It's not it's not just uh a hobby, this is a real career.
00:27:32.640 --> 00:27:39.839
Your passion, honestly, I've watched it from where I discovered you at World Jogger Fest, which we'll come on to, but I can feel it from you.
00:27:39.920 --> 00:27:44.400
I can feel you love people having the feeling from the work you're doing.
00:27:44.720 --> 00:27:46.400
Yeah, I mean it's massive for me.
00:27:46.640 --> 00:27:53.920
And like if you can when I'm making my films today, so we sort of touched on it earlier when we did this premiere recently.
00:27:54.160 --> 00:28:06.480
Like I put so much time and effort into it, and this was like a first project where it was basically 10 ex footballers stepping into the ring and having a scrap for charity, basically, because none of them done boxing before.
00:28:06.640 --> 00:28:12.079
Um, and Graham Stack, who's been really amazing to me, basically come to me and said, Look, we've got some footage.
00:28:12.160 --> 00:28:26.160
I know you've been shooting some footage because I was following one of the fighters, Jodie Morris, and uh we've basically made these two films, and I like I I get obsessed with my work, I it is like an obsession, but I have to because I don't think you get the result.
00:28:26.400 --> 00:28:37.279
And the maddest thing was the night before the premiere, I watched it through one final time and I've turned to my missus, who's also been amazing, um, Claire, and I just said this is rubbish because I've watched it.
00:28:37.359 --> 00:28:40.160
I said, I said I can't, I said I can't show this tomorrow.
00:28:40.240 --> 00:28:44.400
I said, I've because I've watched it so much, I said I said no, and I had that complete imposter syndrome.
00:28:44.960 --> 00:28:48.559
Yeah, and then I'm like going, I like freaked out.
00:28:48.640 --> 00:28:50.160
Anyway, went to sleep the next day.
00:28:50.240 --> 00:29:01.920
Obviously, the film goes up, everyone stands on ovation, people were clapping during segments, and I'm just like going, like it's like uh it's a relief, but also it's like well, that's what it's about.
00:29:02.000 --> 00:29:10.160
People come away with that feeling, but with what I'm doing today, and we won't have time to touch on it, is I do get a lot of imposter syndrome still as well.
00:29:10.240 --> 00:29:16.079
So that when I'm now working with John Terry, who was my childhood hero growing up, and we're growing as YouTube.
00:29:16.480 --> 00:29:33.279
When I'm at the World Cup following David Bentley round the summer and in the Aztec and watching England win, and then when I'm doing documentaries that are going to be hopefully showing an Amazon Prime, there's still a part of me that's that little boy that's going, Oh, are you sure you're your your professional are good at this?
00:29:33.519 --> 00:29:35.279
And that's something I know I need to work on.
00:29:35.359 --> 00:29:43.839
But like I say, the experiences that I get to have through a camera in my life, I could talk for hours about it, it's just an absolute gift.
00:29:44.079 --> 00:29:49.359
Oh, I could listen for hours is when someone's doing something they love, and I think that's the point.
00:29:49.519 --> 00:29:52.559
When you find what you love, I can see the obsession.
00:29:52.720 --> 00:29:56.480
I feel like that in here, and I just think it's so important.
00:29:57.039 --> 00:29:58.400
Tell me how work looks for you.
00:29:58.480 --> 00:30:00.559
Like, how many hours are you pouring into it?
00:30:00.720 --> 00:30:01.920
What does making a film look like?
00:30:02.079 --> 00:30:04.640
Can you just touch on it briefly so we can understand that process?
00:30:05.119 --> 00:30:08.559
Like, I've got an array of different like strings to what I do as a business.
00:30:08.640 --> 00:30:10.799
So sometimes it'll be making documentaries.
00:30:11.039 --> 00:30:24.480
The most recent project that's my latest obsession is trying to grow John Terry's YouTube channel, which has been going over a week, um, pretty much, and we're hoping to hit 26k subscribers today, which will be exactly a week, and he wore number 26.
00:30:24.559 --> 00:30:25.920
So that's quite another spiritual thing.
00:30:26.000 --> 00:30:26.960
I'm like, and this is cool.
00:30:27.759 --> 00:30:32.720
But like last night, I mean, for example, last night I worked till 3am, just looking at like different parts.
00:30:32.799 --> 00:30:38.480
Sometimes it'll be editing a film, sometimes it'll be last night it was tracking YouTube algorithms and stats.
00:30:38.559 --> 00:30:40.000
Like it really does depend.
00:30:40.079 --> 00:30:44.079
It's whatever I can do as a business to get it to the next level.
00:30:44.319 --> 00:30:57.279
But again, because and I guess this is something to go back to, is when I'm editing as well, in the day, I actually find it really tricky to actually find the time to edit because my phone's non-stop going with clients and like you're running your own business.
00:30:57.359 --> 00:31:03.200
So I'm going, right, I've got to speak to clients, I've got to speak to plan shoots, speak to my videographers, speak to my team.
00:31:03.440 --> 00:31:07.680
After about 8 pm until 5am, the noise stops.
00:31:08.000 --> 00:31:09.359
And I've actually found it.
00:31:09.440 --> 00:31:18.079
If you actually went back through the documentary that I've just shot with most of my powerful editing time, it's probably between the hours of 10 pm and 3am, just because there's no distractions.
00:31:18.319 --> 00:31:34.000
Um, but for me, yeah, it it's really sort of varied um in what I do, and I do have to try and find a balance because it is it is hard when you've got a fiance and you've got a little puppy that we've just got, and we're trying to like want to have a family.
00:31:34.480 --> 00:31:54.720
Trying to balance work and my sort of family life is really tricky, but again, that's where sort of sobriety, which we'll come on to in meditation and sort of trying to be zen amongst the madness because it is exciting, like my job is exciting, it's a real buzz.
00:31:54.799 --> 00:31:59.839
Like, I don't go out much at the weekends anymore for obvious reasons, but I get my buzz from my work, yeah.
00:32:00.000 --> 00:32:07.119
So, like when we release a video and I'm reading the comments on the films and stuff like that, or the clients messaging me again, dopamine hits.
00:32:07.279 --> 00:32:08.400
You send a film, that was amazing.
00:32:08.559 --> 00:32:10.000
Oh, this is brilliant, oh, I loved it.
00:32:10.079 --> 00:32:11.599
Oh, it's made me tear up.
00:32:12.079 --> 00:32:13.920
I I can get off on that as well.
00:32:14.000 --> 00:32:16.160
So I've got I I have to try and be careful.
00:32:16.240 --> 00:32:21.440
But no, like my um my career and my business today, it's it's in a good place.
00:32:21.519 --> 00:32:28.640
We're still only in our infancy, we want to grow, we want to do more, we want to scale, but that's gonna be in God's time, not my own.
00:32:29.039 --> 00:32:30.240
What do you want to do?
00:32:31.279 --> 00:32:45.359
I would love I think I've always said I'd love to make documentaries, and I think that's where I'm heading in the long term, but I'm also still a generalist and like growing YouTube channels.
00:32:45.759 --> 00:32:52.720
I want to make good content, I want to make good, I don't I don't want to make stuff like I'm I'm beyond the world of now of taking someone's money just to make something to pay.
00:32:52.880 --> 00:32:53.680
Like I'm beyond that.
00:32:53.759 --> 00:32:55.440
Like, obviously, I need money to survive.
00:32:55.519 --> 00:33:00.240
I'm human, I've got mortgage, got built, but I want to make films that make an impact.
00:33:00.720 --> 00:33:07.599
So this is where I'd sort of trust in the universe, and maybe someone's listening to this today and they'll tap you up or tap me up.
00:33:07.839 --> 00:33:13.440
I just want an opportunity to tell a story and get in our hands on it and get in creative control.
00:33:13.680 --> 00:33:21.680
And like when someone wants to tell their story, the more they give you of themselves, the better the final product.
00:33:21.920 --> 00:33:24.559
And I have to give something myself when I make these films.
00:33:24.640 --> 00:33:32.319
I'm I'm adamant that I have to lose a part of me to the the top top films, maybe not the run-of-the-mill, just every day, like corporate content.
00:33:32.559 --> 00:33:42.240
When I'm doing something that's like the biggest thing in my life at that moment, and I'm obsessed with it, I lose a part of myself because I give it to that project, um, and I'm a firm believer in that.
00:33:42.319 --> 00:33:52.480
So it's just trying to manage my energy and find the balance between running a business, being a videographer, being creative, but also taking time for yourself as well.
00:33:52.799 --> 00:33:54.880
I've got two questions for you.
00:33:55.039 --> 00:33:58.400
The first one is we're gonna have to scrap one of your songs.
00:33:58.559 --> 00:33:58.960
That's fine.
00:33:59.119 --> 00:33:59.759
Is that okay?
00:33:59.920 --> 00:34:00.480
That's fine.
00:34:00.640 --> 00:34:06.000
I'll let you choose which we play out with because I've just got too much to fit in and we've only got an hour.
00:34:06.240 --> 00:34:11.840
The second one is why is it important that you share those stories?
00:34:13.199 --> 00:34:19.360
I mean, in in what way do you mean in terms of Yeah, I can tell how important it is for you that you know it's beyond money, it's beyond this.
00:34:19.440 --> 00:34:21.920
You want something to go out that connects with people, don't you?
00:34:22.239 --> 00:34:23.199
Well, why is that?
00:34:23.519 --> 00:34:26.320
I have to buy into the project, so it has to mean something to me.
00:34:26.480 --> 00:34:39.119
So, for example, this film that I've just finished, which is about mental health, footballers retiring from sport, trying to find purpose beyond playing football, that ticks all the boxes, and I can identify with it.
00:34:39.280 --> 00:34:44.800
So if I can identify with it, then you've got me, and I'm I will be obsessed with it.
00:34:45.039 --> 00:34:46.880
So that's really important.
00:34:47.360 --> 00:34:52.559
In terms of why it's me that should tell the films, again, it's all about the connection with a person.
00:34:52.719 --> 00:35:11.039
So, like, if you've got a connection, and this is where I will I I really wear my heart on my sleeve, and as a filmmaker and a businessman, that's a double-edged sword because with some clients it works really well, and they're just like going, I love this guy, he's all in, he wants to make it the best that it can.
00:35:11.599 --> 00:35:16.559
On the other half, I've actually lost deals because I go, This guy's too much, like just leave me alone, man.
00:35:16.639 --> 00:35:19.360
Why are you texting me at 3M going, look at this video, look at that?
00:35:19.599 --> 00:35:25.360
So it's finding it it's trying to find the balance, and look, there's plenty of other amazing filmmakers.
00:35:25.519 --> 00:35:28.320
Like, I'm just I just try it, what I do.
00:35:28.639 --> 00:35:31.039
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
00:35:31.519 --> 00:35:38.079
But if you keep hammering the nail, you'll get your breaks, and that's what I've done for for 15 years.
00:35:38.400 --> 00:35:48.639
So for me, it's just about going if I've got a connection and it's a story that resonates with me, and that's the ingredients that we're probably going to do something quite special together.
00:35:49.679 --> 00:35:50.719
Oh my goodness.
00:35:50.880 --> 00:36:10.000
This this is why we're here as well, because I can feel from you your heart-led passion and your sharing your gift, your purpose, what you're here to do through the experiences and journey you've had to arrive at now full circle, giving other people the space to show what's important.
00:36:10.159 --> 00:36:17.440
That for people to resonate with what they're watching enables people to feel seen themselves and open up a part of them.
00:36:17.519 --> 00:36:19.679
And that's what you're doing, isn't it, in these movies?
00:36:19.920 --> 00:36:37.360
Yeah, with with these ones, definitely like the response that we've had from this first sort of doc first documentary that we've done, um, the response we've had's been like really good from the night itself, and that we kind of want to raise awareness because it's not just it's not just sport, it can happen in any walk of life.
00:36:37.440 --> 00:36:38.320
People have identities.
00:36:38.400 --> 00:36:46.960
If you've had long careers and then you change it up all of a sudden, like even to myself, I always people go to me sometimes, Well, who's Liam?
00:36:48.000 --> 00:36:49.679
Okay, I'm the videographer.
00:36:50.000 --> 00:36:51.119
Yeah, but who's Liam?
00:36:51.840 --> 00:36:53.039
Oh, I'm a Chelsea fan.
00:36:53.119 --> 00:36:54.400
No, but who who's Liam?
00:36:55.039 --> 00:36:57.760
And it's that identity thing of like who really are we?
00:36:57.840 --> 00:37:00.239
Because a lot of us just identify with our jobs.
00:37:00.400 --> 00:37:07.760
If we've got a career and we're really good at it, if you're a footballer and you've played football for 20 years at the highest level, well, what you what are you now when you're retired?
00:37:08.000 --> 00:37:09.440
Didn't you used to be that person?
00:37:10.000 --> 00:37:11.280
Yeah, well now what?
00:37:11.440 --> 00:37:20.400
So it's it's it's that sort of thing which is really powerful with this film, and I can you you sort of see your own thing, and it's still something that I'm working on going, well, who am I really?
00:37:20.559 --> 00:37:33.599
And that's why, like with the as we'll come on to being at World Yoga Festival, how you come across me and having those sort of experiences in life, it sort of brings you back to yourself.
00:37:34.960 --> 00:37:36.960
It's such an important and big question.
00:37:37.119 --> 00:37:39.280
I am glad that we scrapped that song.
00:37:39.760 --> 00:37:43.760
No offense, and we'll play it at some point, you know, in life.
00:37:43.920 --> 00:38:06.000
But we need this talk time while we've got it, and I think that question, you know, who's Liam, it takes me back to you know, if a child looks at a photo and they say I that it when they're little, they say the name, like they identify as pointing, but then the moment the ego comes in, you lose the sense of self, and it is such a fascinating question.
00:38:06.159 --> 00:38:11.760
You're showcasing the feeling of what people are through what you're doing, yeah.
00:38:11.920 --> 00:38:13.039
And that's what I say now.
00:38:13.119 --> 00:38:35.280
Like I always try and say my best, the best thing I can do is try and get out of self, and that comes in like being sober now, coming up five years, um, and sort of as we spoke about at the start, having battles with sort of alcoholism and addiction, like from being sober, and my version of recovery is through 12 step.
00:38:36.239 --> 00:38:38.400
All I can do every day is get out of self.
00:38:38.559 --> 00:38:53.039
So I kind of like in the morning, I'll wake up and I'll like on a good day, I'll get on my knees and I'll pray to the my higher power or universe, and I'll just say, look, I'm not in control today, you take the will, and whatever comes is a direct thing that my higher power has done, not me.
00:38:53.360 --> 00:39:01.280
Because when I'm stuck in self, my ego gets involved, and when my ego gets involved, it ain't good for anyone because then I'm it's what can I get?
00:39:01.440 --> 00:39:02.480
What can I get?
00:39:02.800 --> 00:39:23.039
And some of the best things I've done, even in my career, is sometimes it's work that I've not actually been paid for, or work that I've actually not been paid very much for because it's got the meaning, and obviously you've got to find a balance because we still we still live in the world, you can't just all go into like some jungle and just go, oh it's gonna be all Zen for the rest of my life.
00:39:23.360 --> 00:39:35.280
But that that for me is the most powerful thing, and like I said, beyond my work now, working with other young people um that are struggling.
00:39:35.360 --> 00:39:45.760
So I used to go back into my old school actually and do counselling um just like for free, just to like help other people that are going through maybe bereavements, maybe struggling at school, bad attitude.
00:39:46.320 --> 00:39:53.440
It's about giving back, and like I'm nowhere near the finished article that says I've made it now and life's great, and let's just go and give back.
00:39:53.599 --> 00:39:57.280
Like I'm just getting started, but along the journey, because it's all about the journey.
00:39:57.440 --> 00:40:02.400
I don't care about the destination, destination's nonsense, it's all about the journey that we'll be on.
00:40:02.880 --> 00:40:18.000
It's about just trying to help other people now share my experience, whether that be through filmmaking or whether that be sobriety and mental health, getting out of self and helping someone else.
00:40:18.159 --> 00:40:23.840
And for me, that's that's that's what a good day looks like when I'm living by those principles, rather than how much money can I get?
00:40:23.920 --> 00:40:25.360
Oh, who should I buy the next film?
00:40:25.840 --> 00:40:26.800
That sort of stuff.
00:40:27.119 --> 00:40:31.119
And it's a really important acknowledgement that you've made though, because we all go into these things, don't we?
00:40:31.199 --> 00:40:34.239
To like it's a survival technique, but it reminds me of that quite.
00:40:34.400 --> 00:40:35.840
Hopefully, I get it the right way around.
00:40:36.000 --> 00:40:40.159
But the um the meaning of the purpose of life is to find your gift.
00:40:40.239 --> 00:40:43.920
No, the meaning of life is to find your gift, and the purpose of life is to give it away.
00:40:44.400 --> 00:41:01.760
And that's essentially when you say about going back to school, and I think we've only got it's really, really paining me that we haven't got along, but about three or four minutes, and I really want to talk about how I discovered you and how we ended up here because you're doing amazing work, but the principles and all the practice that you're doing in your life is so important.
00:41:01.840 --> 00:41:17.519
And I discovered you um World Yoga Fest, and you were in Radika Das's set, who, for anyone that doesn't know, is a brilliant kirtan leader, and the way he connects with the feeling is just out of this world, isn't it?
00:41:17.760 --> 00:41:18.079
Yeah.
00:41:18.239 --> 00:41:24.880
Um, tell me what that means to you, what places and spaces like that mean to your work and yourself.
00:41:25.199 --> 00:41:26.320
So it's a bit full circle.
00:41:26.400 --> 00:41:45.599
So yeah, I was filming at World Yoga Fest and Radika Das, I've been to some Kirtan since coming into sobriety, and one of the things that I think really draws parallel is how the same energy I get from filming at a Radika Das Kirtan and dancing and jumping, which to someone that's a football person and way cut up a chelsea, it's like so far removed.
00:41:45.760 --> 00:42:01.039
But it's the same feeling, and like I said, that being in that space and feeling the energy of the people is so much more healthy than going to a Chelsea away game and swearing at the ref and throwing pies at the other away fans, like you know what I mean, like that sort of thing.
00:42:01.119 --> 00:42:08.960
It was like it was the same energy of like tribalness and togetherness and community and spirit in a really healthy way.
00:42:09.199 --> 00:42:17.679
So that Radika Das moment, yeah, and obviously you saw my Instagram video I made about it, just really connects, and that's for me now.
00:42:17.840 --> 00:42:21.199
I still go to football, I still love Chelsea, that'll never go away.
00:42:21.760 --> 00:42:28.880
But I now know that now I don't drink and I don't use around those things, I can still go to it, but I can take it or leave it.
00:42:29.039 --> 00:42:35.199
And things like those are moments at World Yoga Festival, are sort of really powerful, and it's where a lot of healing can take place.
00:42:35.280 --> 00:42:40.800
Like we saw people there like crying in the middle of the thing, and everyone's just like hugging each other, and there's no judgment.
00:42:40.960 --> 00:42:46.559
And if we can create more of those spaces in everyday life, the world will be a better place.
00:42:46.880 --> 00:42:48.079
Oh damn.
00:42:49.519 --> 00:42:50.960
What a way to end.
00:42:51.119 --> 00:42:52.079
I've got so many.
00:42:52.320 --> 00:42:55.679
We're gonna have to do a part two at some point because there are so many.
00:42:55.760 --> 00:42:57.679
I everything you're saying is so important.
00:42:57.760 --> 00:42:59.199
That question, who am I?
00:42:59.360 --> 00:43:05.679
You know, being in those spaces, crying is not a negative, it's it's part of existence.
00:43:05.840 --> 00:43:09.519
You know, we can't grieve without love, we can't know one without the other.
00:43:09.760 --> 00:43:19.119
And you are a shining example of what really just feeling what you're feeling, talking about it and making stuff happen.
00:43:19.280 --> 00:43:22.079
I mean, wow, I'm so grateful for you giving me this time.
00:43:22.639 --> 00:43:22.960
Thank you.
00:43:23.039 --> 00:43:24.719
It's great to be on there and share this space.
00:43:24.960 --> 00:43:30.079
I know we we will have to do a part two, but until then, tell everyone where they can find you.
00:43:30.400 --> 00:43:35.679
So, my main place to find me is on Instagram, it's Liam Sully Media, S-U-L-L-Y.
00:43:36.239 --> 00:43:39.360
Um, so yeah, I'm on there, I post quite a lot of my stories.
00:43:39.440 --> 00:43:43.199
Um, I'm trying to go into the personal brand content where I put myself up and then we're on the grid.
00:43:43.280 --> 00:43:45.519
Um, but that's uh sort of a slow process.
00:43:45.599 --> 00:43:50.320
Um, but yeah, so find me on there, and like I say, if anything's resonated with you today, please drop me a DM.
00:43:50.400 --> 00:43:52.639
I'll talk to anyone um and I want to help.
00:43:52.800 --> 00:43:54.559
So yeah, please get in touch.
00:43:54.800 --> 00:43:55.199
Thank you.
00:43:55.360 --> 00:43:57.599
And are we still gonna play out with Pitbull?
00:43:57.760 --> 00:44:06.159
Yeah, because life's about enjoyment, and like I say, we've had a serious conversation, but like life's amazing, it's a gift, and like I say, it's all about getting people in a good mood.
00:44:06.320 --> 00:44:07.760
So this is an absolute banger.
00:44:07.920 --> 00:44:08.239
Here we go.
00:44:08.320 --> 00:44:10.719
Liam Sullivan, thank you so much for being with me today.
00:44:10.800 --> 00:44:11.199
Thank you.