WEBVTT
00:00:00.017 --> 00:00:05.157
Welcome to Your Morning Boost, your daily leadership advice to help you lead your school community.
00:00:05.357 --> 00:00:09.777
Brought to you by AWB Education and sponsored by Grundmeyer Leader Services,
00:00:10.117 --> 00:00:14.437
where together we are transforming education, one leader at a time.
00:00:14.857 --> 00:00:16.957
Now here's your host, Adam Bush.
00:00:17.517 --> 00:00:21.717
Good morning, school leaders. Welcome to Thursday's edition of Your Morning Boost this week.
00:00:21.977 --> 00:00:25.397
Today, we're tackling one of the most challenging aspects of school leadership,
00:00:25.397 --> 00:00:29.317
and that is building relationships with your most difficult behavior students.
00:00:29.557 --> 00:00:34.077
It's easy to get frustrated with students who consistently disrupt the learning
00:00:34.077 --> 00:00:37.577
environment or also those that exhibit challenging behaviors.
00:00:37.717 --> 00:00:42.757
However, it's crucial to remember that these students often need our support the most.
00:00:42.937 --> 00:00:47.557
They may be communicating unmet needs or underlying trauma through their behavior.
00:00:51.297 --> 00:00:55.057
I want to give you a few strategies to help build positive relationships.
00:00:55.397 --> 00:00:59.877
Our first strategy is to seek to understand. Before addressing the behavior,
00:01:00.077 --> 00:01:01.757
try to understand its root causes.
00:01:02.037 --> 00:01:03.977
Is the student struggling academically?
00:01:04.317 --> 00:01:08.997
Are they experiencing difficulties at home such as poverty, abuse, or neglect?
00:01:09.477 --> 00:01:13.337
Or are they seeking attention due to a lack of positive reinforcement?
00:01:13.717 --> 00:01:18.297
By understanding these underlying issues, we can develop a more effective intervention
00:01:18.297 --> 00:01:23.517
that addresses the root cause of the behavior rather than just trying to suppress the symptoms.
00:01:24.137 --> 00:01:28.377
Next, listen actively. When the student is talking, truly listen.
00:01:28.717 --> 00:01:34.017
Avoid interrupting or avoid judging. Show them that you value their perspective,
00:01:34.017 --> 00:01:36.237
even if you don't agree with their behavior.
00:01:36.597 --> 00:01:41.297
Active listening demonstrates respect and can help de-escalate tense situations,
00:01:41.297 --> 00:01:45.157
and it also creates a safe space for the student to express themselves,
00:01:45.277 --> 00:01:48.217
which could be the first step towards building trust.
00:01:48.697 --> 00:01:54.237
Next piece, let's find common ground. Look for areas of shared interest or positive qualities.
00:01:54.437 --> 00:01:57.357
This can help us establish a connection and build rapport.
00:01:57.537 --> 00:02:01.597
Even a small point of connection, such as a shared hobby or a compliment on
00:02:01.597 --> 00:02:06.257
a positive attribute, this can be a starting point for building a stronger relationship.
00:02:06.257 --> 00:02:10.257
It's about finding a human connection beyond the challenging behavior.
00:02:11.202 --> 00:02:14.942
Next, let's focus on the positive. Instead of dwelling on the negative behavior,
00:02:15.162 --> 00:02:17.242
let's try to catch the student doing something right.
00:02:17.662 --> 00:02:22.042
Acknowledge and praise their positive actions, no matter how small these might be.
00:02:22.222 --> 00:02:26.282
This can help shift the student's focus and reinforce desired behaviors,
00:02:26.282 --> 00:02:31.042
and it also helps create a more positive dynamic in your interactions with the student.
00:02:31.262 --> 00:02:34.502
We need to make those deposits before we can make withdrawals.
00:02:34.642 --> 00:02:36.462
Be consistent and fair here, too.
00:02:36.642 --> 00:02:40.762
Set clear expectations and enforce them consistently. We want to treat all students
00:02:40.762 --> 00:02:42.662
fairly regardless of their behavior.
00:02:43.282 --> 00:02:47.362
Consistency and fairness create a sense of predictability and security,
00:02:47.362 --> 00:02:50.902
which can be especially important for students with behavioral challenges.
00:02:51.142 --> 00:02:55.302
They need to know what to expect and that the adults in their lives will act
00:02:55.302 --> 00:02:57.082
in a predictable and just manner.
00:02:57.502 --> 00:03:02.322
This is going to also help us build that trust. Trust is essential for any relationship,
00:03:02.322 --> 00:03:06.202
but it's especially important with students who have a history of negative interactions
00:03:06.202 --> 00:03:11.202
with adults. Be reliable, be honest, and follow through on your promises.
00:03:11.602 --> 00:03:15.462
Small acts of trustworthiness, they will accumulate over time and they will
00:03:15.462 --> 00:03:17.762
lead to significant improvements in the relationship.
00:03:18.022 --> 00:03:21.442
This might involve being on time for meetings, keeping your word,
00:03:21.522 --> 00:03:24.102
and maybe even advocating for the student's needs.
00:03:24.482 --> 00:03:28.282
Do this by collaborating with others. Work with teachers, counselors, parents.
00:03:28.462 --> 00:03:33.182
Develop a consistent and supportive approach. A collaborative approach ensures
00:03:33.182 --> 00:03:37.862
that the student is receiving consistent messages and support from all adults in their life.
00:03:38.102 --> 00:03:42.522
This team approach is essential for creating a network of support around the student.
00:03:43.042 --> 00:03:48.142
Also, don't forget to show some empathy. Try to see the world from the student's perspective.
00:03:48.462 --> 00:03:52.182
This will help us understand their behavior and respond with compassion.
00:03:52.522 --> 00:03:57.962
Empathy doesn't mean condoning the behavior, but it does mean understanding its origins.
00:03:58.582 --> 00:04:02.102
It's about trying to walk in their shoes and understanding the challenges that
00:04:02.102 --> 00:04:04.362
they face, but just don't take it personally.
00:04:04.702 --> 00:04:08.182
It's easy to feel frustrated or offended by a student's behavior.
00:04:08.522 --> 00:04:14.422
Remember that their behavior is often a reflection of these struggles and not a personal attack on us.
00:04:14.882 --> 00:04:18.782
Maintaining a professional distance will help us respond more effectively and
00:04:18.782 --> 00:04:23.142
avoid escalating the situation, but we just need to remember that the behavior
00:04:23.142 --> 00:04:25.802
is that communication piece we're trying to get to.
00:04:26.560 --> 00:04:30.760
Also, don't forget to celebrate small victories. Building relationships with
00:04:30.760 --> 00:04:34.340
difficult students, this takes time, and it's going to take a lot of patience.
00:04:34.880 --> 00:04:38.940
Celebrate small victories along the way, and don't get discouraged by setbacks.
00:04:39.220 --> 00:04:42.180
Every positive interaction is a step in the right direction.
00:04:42.180 --> 00:04:47.280
It's about focusing on progress, not perfection, and acknowledging the student's
00:04:47.280 --> 00:04:49.100
efforts, no matter how small.
00:04:53.040 --> 00:04:59.420
As Dr. Ross Green, author of The Explosive Child, suggests, kids do well if they can.
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:05.020
This perspective shifts the focus from punishment to understanding and problem-solving.
00:05:05.140 --> 00:05:09.140
It's about recognizing that challenging behavior is often a sign that the student
00:05:09.140 --> 00:05:12.140
lacks the skills to handle a situation more effectively.
00:05:12.140 --> 00:05:15.520
By building strong relationships with our most challenging students,
00:05:15.700 --> 00:05:20.520
we can create a more supportive and inclusive school environment where all students can thrive.
00:05:21.060 --> 00:05:24.740
That's your Thursday Boost, folks. Thank you for listening. If you're looking
00:05:24.740 --> 00:05:28.500
for any more information on this topic, please reach out to us at AWB Education.
00:05:28.800 --> 00:05:32.140
We'd love to get you hooked up with the people that can help you break that
00:05:32.140 --> 00:05:34.040
barrier to your most challenging students.
00:05:34.440 --> 00:05:37.200
Thanks again for listening. We will talk with you again tomorrow.
00:05:37.200 --> 00:05:41.640
You have been listening to your Morning Boost by AWB Education in partnership
00:05:41.640 --> 00:05:43.260
with Grundmeyer Leader Services.
00:05:43.600 --> 00:05:48.100
You can find out more about our services by clicking on the links in the description.
00:05:48.760 --> 00:05:53.160
Remember, you are doing this vital job that only a few can do.
00:05:53.540 --> 00:05:57.440
So until next time, thank you for your service to your community.
00:00:00.017 --> 00:00:05.157
Welcome to Your Morning Boost, your daily leadership advice to help you lead your school community.
00:00:05.357 --> 00:00:09.777
Brought to you by AWB Education and sponsored by Grundmeyer Leader Services,
00:00:10.117 --> 00:00:14.437
where together we are transforming education, one leader at a time.
00:00:14.857 --> 00:00:16.957
Now here's your host, Adam Bush.
00:00:17.517 --> 00:00:21.717
Good morning, school leaders. Welcome to Thursday's edition of Your Morning Boost this week.
00:00:21.977 --> 00:00:25.397
Today, we're tackling one of the most challenging aspects of school leadership,
00:00:25.397 --> 00:00:29.317
and that is building relationships with your most difficult behavior students.
00:00:29.557 --> 00:00:34.077
It's easy to get frustrated with students who consistently disrupt the learning
00:00:34.077 --> 00:00:37.577
environment or also those that exhibit challenging behaviors.
00:00:37.717 --> 00:00:42.757
However, it's crucial to remember that these students often need our support the most.
00:00:42.937 --> 00:00:47.557
They may be communicating unmet needs or underlying trauma through their behavior.
00:00:51.297 --> 00:00:55.057
I want to give you a few strategies to help build positive relationships.
00:00:55.397 --> 00:00:59.877
Our first strategy is to seek to understand. Before addressing the behavior,
00:01:00.077 --> 00:01:01.757
try to understand its root causes.
00:01:02.037 --> 00:01:03.977
Is the student struggling academically?
00:01:04.317 --> 00:01:08.997
Are they experiencing difficulties at home such as poverty, abuse, or neglect?
00:01:09.477 --> 00:01:13.337
Or are they seeking attention due to a lack of positive reinforcement?
00:01:13.717 --> 00:01:18.297
By understanding these underlying issues, we can develop a more effective intervention
00:01:18.297 --> 00:01:23.517
that addresses the root cause of the behavior rather than just trying to suppress the symptoms.
00:01:24.137 --> 00:01:28.377
Next, listen actively. When the student is talking, truly listen.
00:01:28.717 --> 00:01:34.017
Avoid interrupting or avoid judging. Show them that you value their perspective,
00:01:34.017 --> 00:01:36.237
even if you don't agree with their behavior.
00:01:36.597 --> 00:01:41.297
Active listening demonstrates respect and can help de-escalate tense situations,
00:01:41.297 --> 00:01:45.157
and it also creates a safe space for the student to express themselves,
00:01:45.277 --> 00:01:48.217
which could be the first step towards building trust.
00:01:48.697 --> 00:01:54.237
Next piece, let's find common ground. Look for areas of shared interest or positive qualities.
00:01:54.437 --> 00:01:57.357
This can help us establish a connection and build rapport.
00:01:57.537 --> 00:02:01.597
Even a small point of connection, such as a shared hobby or a compliment on
00:02:01.597 --> 00:02:06.257
a positive attribute, this can be a starting point for building a stronger relationship.
00:02:06.257 --> 00:02:10.257
It's about finding a human connection beyond the challenging behavior.
00:02:11.202 --> 00:02:14.942
Next, let's focus on the positive. Instead of dwelling on the negative behavior,
00:02:15.162 --> 00:02:17.242
let's try to catch the student doing something right.
00:02:17.662 --> 00:02:22.042
Acknowledge and praise their positive actions, no matter how small these might be.
00:02:22.222 --> 00:02:26.282
This can help shift the student's focus and reinforce desired behaviors,
00:02:26.282 --> 00:02:31.042
and it also helps create a more positive dynamic in your interactions with the student.
00:02:31.262 --> 00:02:34.502
We need to make those deposits before we can make withdrawals.
00:02:34.642 --> 00:02:36.462
Be consistent and fair here, too.
00:02:36.642 --> 00:02:40.762
Set clear expectations and enforce them consistently. We want to treat all students
00:02:40.762 --> 00:02:42.662
fairly regardless of their behavior.
00:02:43.282 --> 00:02:47.362
Consistency and fairness create a sense of predictability and security,
00:02:47.362 --> 00:02:50.902
which can be especially important for students with behavioral challenges.
00:02:51.142 --> 00:02:55.302
They need to know what to expect and that the adults in their lives will act
00:02:55.302 --> 00:02:57.082
in a predictable and just manner.
00:02:57.502 --> 00:03:02.322
This is going to also help us build that trust. Trust is essential for any relationship,
00:03:02.322 --> 00:03:06.202
but it's especially important with students who have a history of negative interactions
00:03:06.202 --> 00:03:11.202
with adults. Be reliable, be honest, and follow through on your promises.
00:03:11.602 --> 00:03:15.462
Small acts of trustworthiness, they will accumulate over time and they will
00:03:15.462 --> 00:03:17.762
lead to significant improvements in the relationship.
00:03:18.022 --> 00:03:21.442
This might involve being on time for meetings, keeping your word,
00:03:21.522 --> 00:03:24.102
and maybe even advocating for the student's needs.
00:03:24.482 --> 00:03:28.282
Do this by collaborating with others. Work with teachers, counselors, parents.
00:03:28.462 --> 00:03:33.182
Develop a consistent and supportive approach. A collaborative approach ensures
00:03:33.182 --> 00:03:37.862
that the student is receiving consistent messages and support from all adults in their life.
00:03:38.102 --> 00:03:42.522
This team approach is essential for creating a network of support around the student.
00:03:43.042 --> 00:03:48.142
Also, don't forget to show some empathy. Try to see the world from the student's perspective.
00:03:48.462 --> 00:03:52.182
This will help us understand their behavior and respond with compassion.
00:03:52.522 --> 00:03:57.962
Empathy doesn't mean condoning the behavior, but it does mean understanding its origins.
00:03:58.582 --> 00:04:02.102
It's about trying to walk in their shoes and understanding the challenges that
00:04:02.102 --> 00:04:04.362
they face, but just don't take it personally.
00:04:04.702 --> 00:04:08.182
It's easy to feel frustrated or offended by a student's behavior.
00:04:08.522 --> 00:04:14.422
Remember that their behavior is often a reflection of these struggles and not a personal attack on us.
00:04:14.882 --> 00:04:18.782
Maintaining a professional distance will help us respond more effectively and
00:04:18.782 --> 00:04:23.142
avoid escalating the situation, but we just need to remember that the behavior
00:04:23.142 --> 00:04:25.802
is that communication piece we're trying to get to.
00:04:26.560 --> 00:04:30.760
Also, don't forget to celebrate small victories. Building relationships with
00:04:30.760 --> 00:04:34.340
difficult students, this takes time, and it's going to take a lot of patience.
00:04:34.880 --> 00:04:38.940
Celebrate small victories along the way, and don't get discouraged by setbacks.
00:04:39.220 --> 00:04:42.180
Every positive interaction is a step in the right direction.
00:04:42.180 --> 00:04:47.280
It's about focusing on progress, not perfection, and acknowledging the student's
00:04:47.280 --> 00:04:49.100
efforts, no matter how small.
00:04:53.040 --> 00:04:59.420
As Dr. Ross Green, author of The Explosive Child, suggests, kids do well if they can.
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:05.020
This perspective shifts the focus from punishment to understanding and problem-solving.
00:05:05.140 --> 00:05:09.140
It's about recognizing that challenging behavior is often a sign that the student
00:05:09.140 --> 00:05:12.140
lacks the skills to handle a situation more effectively.
00:05:12.140 --> 00:05:15.520
By building strong relationships with our most challenging students,
00:05:15.700 --> 00:05:20.520
we can create a more supportive and inclusive school environment where all students can thrive.
00:05:21.060 --> 00:05:24.740
That's your Thursday Boost, folks. Thank you for listening. If you're looking
00:05:24.740 --> 00:05:28.500
for any more information on this topic, please reach out to us at AWB Education.
00:05:28.800 --> 00:05:32.140
We'd love to get you hooked up with the people that can help you break that
00:05:32.140 --> 00:05:34.040
barrier to your most challenging students.
00:05:34.440 --> 00:05:37.200
Thanks again for listening. We will talk with you again tomorrow.
00:05:37.200 --> 00:05:41.640
You have been listening to your Morning Boost by AWB Education in partnership
00:05:41.640 --> 00:05:43.260
with Grundmeyer Leader Services.
00:05:43.600 --> 00:05:48.100
You can find out more about our services by clicking on the links in the description.
00:05:48.760 --> 00:05:53.160
Remember, you are doing this vital job that only a few can do.
00:05:53.540 --> 00:05:57.440
So until next time, thank you for your service to your community.
