Nice One Cyril

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Tagen i anspråk

WE WON! Spurs finally win a game. And we did it with all the fluency of a wardrobe being pushed upstairs. BREAK OUT THE BUNTING Maddison’s back, Marmoush scores, Kulu returns after 500-plus days. TACTICAL MASTERCLASS? A back five nobody understood, Van Hecke looking like an accident waiting to hap…

RDZ-BALL! Dominant, classy, organised. Are we actually becoming a football team? SOLANKE: CONFIDENCE, LOCATED? Two misses, one good goal. Good times around the corner? GALLAGHER! YES, GALLAGHER! Plus Sávio, Kudus, Archie and the magnificent Udogie. BENTANCUR’S BIG BONE-HEADED MOMENT Schadenfreude…

INTERMINABLE INTERNATIONAL BREAK Some Spurs successes, but more injuries. Whoda thought? THE NEXT BIG THING The desperate ITKs have been rummaging around Germany and Brazil for players you’ve never heard of. MANCHESTER CITY: THE BILL Nearly a billion quid of alleged cheating, four Spurs Champions …

FOUR-P & KULU One’s out for a month. One might be back. Possibly. Maybe. Could be. Spurs medical updates: now available in horoscope form. ARE WE STILL SCARRED? Andy Robertson thinks so. We’ve got ten new players and got rid of 44, though, so presumably there’s more going on than collective foo…

ROCK BOTTOM - we started there alphabetically, now we’ve earned it. LIVERPOOL - more shots, more possession, more chances. Guess what. VILLA - well at least we broke our duck in a lost cause, but that’s 48 games without winning after conceding first. We’re allergic to setbacks. WHERE ARE THE GOALS?…

No goals. Again. But hey, we didn’t concede. Paul Merson called Everton our cup final - we'll take a cup final in September, right? Tonali silky? More woolly. Injuries. Natch. Even PPPP is crocked. Thirty-minute Spurs. RDZ says that’s all we’ve currently got in the tank. Savio vs his teammates.…

60% possession, eleven shots, not a single one on target. We’ve brought in ten players but still lack a guy who can stick it in the onion bag. Mudryk isn’t ready. Tonali isn’t ready. Solanke isn’t ready. Udogie isn’t ready. Nobody’s ready. Except Richy, who's ready to catch a plane to Saudi Arabia…

A routine win. Yes, really, even if it was against the Charlton youth team. Sávio played twenty brilliant minutes, scored, and immediately crocked himself. Mikey scored a banger and earned a loan to Köln. Then...Newcastle . Archie at right-back, PPP on the wing. We looked all right until we concede…

The more things change... Roberto De Zerbi claims we’re not a team yet and weren't ready. But why? The jetlag from the Australasian tour? The endless injury list? A deeper malaise? Meanwhile, we’ve handed him millions to shape his team. What if he flounces out in October? The next bloke will inher…