WEBVTT
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I have a question.
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[SPEAKER_00]: How bad does it have to get before you let yourself rest?
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[SPEAKER_00]: No, really a little tired.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm good back bothering you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm okay, pelvic pain picking up.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Let me just finish this.
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[SPEAKER_00]: energy dropping.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I only have two more things.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But then your body starts to finally stay girl, sit down.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And now, okay, now we can rest.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now the heating pad comes out.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now we can't still in plans.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now we're in the bed.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now everybody gets the, I'm not doing anything today
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so you rest and eventually you start feeling a little better and what do you do get a way to mean I thought we were resting but apparently feeling 37% better wasn't up because now you're doing laundry.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're answering emails.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're cleaning something nobody even asked you to clean.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, since I'm up
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[SPEAKER_00]: No, there it is, since I'm up.
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[SPEAKER_00]: How much trouble has that send it's gotten you into?
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[SPEAKER_00]: If you know exactly what I'm talking about, drop time you're in the chair, because I noticed something.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Some of us don't actually use, do I need rest to decide when to stop?
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[SPEAKER_00]: We use, can I keep going?
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[SPEAKER_00]: and those are two very different questions.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But before we dive into this episode, Tony, y'all already know what time it is.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But with me, y'all.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Y'all, welcome back to another episode of the Empire Place in part last podcast.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This episode is brought to you by Fort Vibrations, helping women with persistent pelvic pain, build a life, pain, no longer defines.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's your healthy medicine lifestyle coach, Joe Biden.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And we're continuing the patterns behind the pain.
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[SPEAKER_00]: My solo series explores the everyday patterns that can become so normal, that we start realizing how much they're shaping the way we live.
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[SPEAKER_00]: with persistent pelvic pain.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Today we come back to the push through pattern, but we're not repeating our earlier conversation.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Last time we talked about our reds later, and I asked you got through it, but what did it cost you?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Today I want to know what actually gives you permission to stop.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to say that question one more time.
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[SPEAKER_00]: What actually gives you permission to stop?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because I think that's where another blind spot is hiding.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Think about your last really exhausting day.
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[SPEAKER_00]: at what point did you stop?
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[SPEAKER_00]: When did you notice you were tired?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Or when you could in comfortably keep going anymore?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because those aren't the same.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you notice at noon, I'm tired, but you still had things to do.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So you kept going.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Then at 3 p.m.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I'm really tired, but one more thing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Then at 6 p.m.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I am done.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And now, rest just feels justified, because you finally have enough evidence.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're exhausted, you're hurting, you can't focus, you're irritated, your body is done, D-O-E-D.
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[SPEAKER_00]: If you've ever been there before, drop down in the comments.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now you've earned the right to stop.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And maybe nobody ever told you, but you have to earn rest.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you've never even say that, but look at the threshold.
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[SPEAKER_00]: What has to happen before rest becomes allowed?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I want you to think about that question one more time.
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[SPEAKER_00]: What has to happen before rest becomes allowed?
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's what I want you noticing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because here's what can happen.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Exhaustion becomes permission to rest.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then the moment you start feeling better.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Feeling better becomes proof that the rest is over.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Breathe, this hit at one more time.
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[SPEAKER_00]: All right, let's look at that pattern.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Exhaustion becomes permission to rest.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Feeling better becomes proof that rest is over.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm exhausted, so now I can stop.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I feel a little better, so now I should get back up.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I get up, I spend what I had, just got back, just to feel depleted again.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then now I can stop again.
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[SPEAKER_00]: These eat, push, drain, stop, feel better, go.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Push, drain, stop, feel better, go.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And you sit in there wondering, why does rest never really feel like enough?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe sometimes it's just because rest never keeps us at the first sign that you had to function again.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now I need to make an important distinction here.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because if you're living with persistent pelvic pain or fatigue and you rest and you're still tired, that does not mean you're doing the rest wrong.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because pain is exhausting and fatigue can have many contributors that deserve appropriate medical attention.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm not telling you just rest better and everything will be fixed.
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[SPEAKER_00]: No, that's not what I'm saying.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm asking something much more specific.
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[SPEAKER_00]: When you do start feeling a little better, what do you do next?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because that's something we can actually observe.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I understand why we get up.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because like, don't stop while you're resting.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That part nobody really talks about.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The laundry didn't say, oh, she's recovery.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We'll handle ourselves.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We'll start the cycle.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We'll drive.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We're full.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We'll put everything up.
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[SPEAKER_00]: No.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The emails didn't disappear.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The groceries didn't walk themselves into the refrigerator.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Wait a minute.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The groceries didn't put themselves in the car.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Just for you to be ordering them to get to the house for you to unpack.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Come on y'all.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The responsibilities still are responsible.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So while you're resting, there can be this
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[SPEAKER_00]: need to do that, need to catch up on this.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I lost the whole day.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm behind.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So the moment you feel better, you don't have the energy.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You have a backlog.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You heard me a backlog and suddenly that little bit of energy already belongs to everything that you couldn't do.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's why I sit some feeling better because let me catch up.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And before you know it, you've spent the very thing
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[SPEAKER_00]: But I think there's an even deeper question.
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[SPEAKER_00]: What does that rest really mean to you?
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[SPEAKER_00]: When there's still something you could be doing?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, follow me.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You hear the question?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna run about one more time.
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[SPEAKER_00]: What does rest mean to you when there's still something you could be doing?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because it's easy to justify rest when you literally cannot continue.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But what about when you could, you could answer the email, you could follow the laundry, you could run the air and you could finish the project and you choose not to.
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[SPEAKER_00]: What happens inside of you then?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I really want you to think about it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Do you feel lazy, behind, unproductive?
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[SPEAKER_00]: guilty, like your wasting time, like you should be doing something because maybe the hardest kind of rest isn't resting because you can't go any more.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it's resting when you technically could keep going.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's different and that is where the push through can hide because if the only time you're allowed to stop is when your body makes it difficult,
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[SPEAKER_00]: to continue, then your limit is making the decision for you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Your limit is making the decision for you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're not choosing rest.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're reaching the point where rest becomes unavoidable.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I've had to look at this too, because I like getting things done.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I like feeling productive.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And when you're navigating health challenges, there can be something exciting about feeling good.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're like, oh, I have energy today.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And immediately, what can I get done?
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[SPEAKER_00]: But I've had to ask and learn to really train my brain for a different question.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Not how much can I do, because I feel better, but what do I want feeling better to make possible?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Try that one more time.
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[SPEAKER_00]: What do I want feeling better to make possible?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes that's getting something done.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely, sometimes that's walking, going somewhere, working, creating, living.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes I want feeling better to me I get to enjoy feeling better.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Not spend all of it, not prove anything with it, just feel good, be present.
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[SPEAKER_00]: enjoy my day, embrace gratitude, acknowledge the blessings of my life.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because that's the point of work and so hard to support myself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: If every good day immediately becomes another work day, I'm gonna try it one more time so you can really catch this because what's the point of working so hard to support myself?
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[SPEAKER_00]: If every good day immediately becomes another work day,
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I look at what we've uncovered last episode.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Self-abandoned me as, why am I always the easiest person to postpone?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now look at this, you finally get some energy back and who gets first access to work, the house, everybody else, everything you're behind on, and you, our rest later again.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The issue is push through can right back through the side door.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's why these patterns can be hard to see.
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[SPEAKER_00]: They don't always look dramatic.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes they sound like, sit some feeling better.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I want to give you one question this week.
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[SPEAKER_00]: When you notice yourself feeling a little better and your brain immediately starts assigning tasks, calls, and as just because I can do more.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Do I need to?
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's it, not should I do nothing, not do I have to rest all day?
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[SPEAKER_00]: No, just because I can do I need to.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe the answer is yes, maybe something generally needs your attention.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Do it, maybe the answer is actually that can wait.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Let it, the goal is in doing less for the sake of doing less.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The goal is choosing before the pattern chooses for you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's self leadership.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I want you to try something.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Just once.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The next time you feel yourself getting tired.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Don't wait for it done.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Notice tired.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Before tired becomes depleted.
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[SPEAKER_00]: that's it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You don't even have to change anything yet.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Just notice.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, this is where I usually realize I'm tired.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Then as what would I do right now if I didn't have to prove I was exhausted first?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you take 10 minutes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you eat.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you change the plan.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you sit down.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you keep
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[SPEAKER_00]: The win is that you noticed and you chose.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because imagine having a different relationship with rest.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to crash before you start.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to spend every ounce of energy because it's available.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to prove your exhausted enough.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And when you feel good, you get to enjoy some of the good.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You can work, move, move, move.
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[SPEAKER_00]: make plans, show up, take care of things, and still have something left for your actual life.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because the goal isn't to become really good at recovering from constantly draining yourself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The goal is to build a life where draining yourself isn't always the price of participation and that's different.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So my tired women, I want you to think about this.
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[SPEAKER_00]: is it?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm getting tired, pain increasing, irritability, camp focus, everybody else is taking care of or I literally cannot keep going.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Tell me because I want to understand where your threshold is not what you think it should be and what it actually is and if you live in what persistent pill but pain and disrupt the periods on your days that are being shaped by how much energy you have and how much pain you're in what you can get through or how much your recovery you need after where I want you to hit the show notes and take.
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[SPEAKER_00]: the pelvic pain assessment.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Three questions about everyday life with pelvic pain actually looks like.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I want you to understand your pelvic pain impact.
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[SPEAKER_00]: How much of it is really shaped by your life.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I want you to talk about, in your mind, really think about am I really resting?
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[SPEAKER_00]: How do I
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[SPEAKER_00]: cushion through.
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[SPEAKER_00]: All right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That is it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I want to talk about one more of the most frustrating parts of pelvic pain.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Why does this feel so unpredictable?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because you had days where you're thinking I did the same thing yesterday and I was fine or why did that bother me this time?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Or maybe you're constantly trying to figure out what triggered this?
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's what we're going in the next episode.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm not going to tell you every pelvic pain flare.
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[SPEAKER_00]: has some hidden warning signs you've failed to notice.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes symptoms really can be unpredictable, but remember what we've been learning.
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[SPEAKER_00]: There may still be information available to us that we haven't learned how to use.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So we're gonna talk about what it means to know your body is communicating without turning your entire life into a symptom investigation.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But this week, notice what gives you permission to rest
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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, since I'm up, just as, because I can do more, do what I need to, because you don't have to wait until you're completely drained to deserve risk and feeling better.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Doesn't automatically mean risk has to be over.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's your healthy habits and lifestyle coach, Joe Bonnie, host of the Empire Plays, Empire Last Podcast.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for watching with me, y'all.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I have a question.
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[SPEAKER_00]: How bad does it have to get before you let yourself rest?
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[SPEAKER_00]: No, really a little tired.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm good back bothering you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm okay, pelvic pain picking up.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Let me just finish this.
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[SPEAKER_00]: energy dropping.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I only have two more things.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But then your body starts to finally stay girl, sit down.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And now, okay, now we can rest.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now the heating pad comes out.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now we can't still in plans.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now we're in the bed.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now everybody gets the, I'm not doing anything today
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so you rest and eventually you start feeling a little better and what do you do get a way to mean I thought we were resting but apparently feeling 37% better wasn't up because now you're doing laundry.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're answering emails.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're cleaning something nobody even asked you to clean.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, since I'm up
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[SPEAKER_00]: No, there it is, since I'm up.
01:11.046 --> 01:13.408
[SPEAKER_00]: How much trouble has that send it's gotten you into?
01:13.948 --> 01:19.073
[SPEAKER_00]: If you know exactly what I'm talking about, drop time you're in the chair, because I noticed something.
01:19.193 --> 01:23.577
[SPEAKER_00]: Some of us don't actually use, do I need rest to decide when to stop?
01:23.757 --> 01:26.760
[SPEAKER_00]: We use, can I keep going?
01:27.320 --> 01:30.165
[SPEAKER_00]: and those are two very different questions.
01:30.505 --> 01:35.894
[SPEAKER_00]: But before we dive into this episode, Tony, y'all already know what time it is.
01:36.474 --> 01:37.516
[SPEAKER_00]: But with me, y'all.
01:53.808 --> 01:58.311
[SPEAKER_00]: Y'all, welcome back to another episode of the Empire Place in part last podcast.
01:58.631 --> 02:06.057
[SPEAKER_00]: This episode is brought to you by Fort Vibrations, helping women with persistent pelvic pain, build a life, pain, no longer defines.
02:06.177 --> 02:08.438
[SPEAKER_00]: It's your healthy medicine lifestyle coach, Joe Biden.
02:08.699 --> 02:11.601
[SPEAKER_00]: And we're continuing the patterns behind the pain.
02:11.881 --> 02:20.547
[SPEAKER_00]: My solo series explores the everyday patterns that can become so normal, that we start realizing how much they're shaping the way we live.
02:20.947 --> 02:22.788
[SPEAKER_00]: with persistent pelvic pain.
02:23.029 --> 02:27.752
[SPEAKER_00]: Today we come back to the push through pattern, but we're not repeating our earlier conversation.
02:27.832 --> 02:34.016
[SPEAKER_00]: Last time we talked about our reds later, and I asked you got through it, but what did it cost you?
02:34.356 --> 02:38.539
[SPEAKER_00]: Today I want to know what actually gives you permission to stop.
02:38.559 --> 02:39.800
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to say that question one more time.
02:40.221 --> 02:43.043
[SPEAKER_00]: What actually gives you permission to stop?
02:43.303 --> 02:46.385
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I think that's where another blind spot is hiding.
02:46.645 --> 02:48.927
[SPEAKER_00]: Think about your last really exhausting day.
02:49.767 --> 02:51.188
[SPEAKER_00]: at what point did you stop?
02:51.989 --> 02:53.590
[SPEAKER_00]: When did you notice you were tired?
02:54.230 --> 02:57.592
[SPEAKER_00]: Or when you could in comfortably keep going anymore?
02:59.313 --> 03:00.694
[SPEAKER_00]: Because those aren't the same.
03:01.135 --> 03:05.197
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you notice at noon, I'm tired, but you still had things to do.
03:05.458 --> 03:06.198
[SPEAKER_00]: So you kept going.
03:06.618 --> 03:07.819
[SPEAKER_00]: Then at 3 p.m.
03:08.199 --> 03:11.462
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, I'm really tired, but one more thing.
03:12.042 --> 03:13.203
[SPEAKER_00]: Then at 6 p.m.
03:13.783 --> 03:15.004
[SPEAKER_00]: I am done.
03:16.587 --> 03:21.690
[SPEAKER_00]: And now, rest just feels justified, because you finally have enough evidence.
03:21.870 --> 03:30.354
[SPEAKER_00]: You're exhausted, you're hurting, you can't focus, you're irritated, your body is done, D-O-E-D.
03:30.434 --> 03:33.116
[SPEAKER_00]: If you've ever been there before, drop down in the comments.
03:33.516 --> 03:35.177
[SPEAKER_00]: Now you've earned the right to stop.
03:37.198 --> 03:41.380
[SPEAKER_00]: And maybe nobody ever told you, but you have to earn rest.
03:42.760 --> 03:46.703
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you've never even say that, but look at the threshold.
03:47.384 --> 03:50.946
[SPEAKER_00]: What has to happen before rest becomes allowed?
03:50.966 --> 03:52.648
[SPEAKER_00]: I want you to think about that question one more time.
03:53.028 --> 03:57.591
[SPEAKER_00]: What has to happen before rest becomes allowed?
03:58.152 --> 03:59.693
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what I want you noticing.
03:59.953 --> 04:01.234
[SPEAKER_00]: Because here's what can happen.
04:01.514 --> 04:03.596
[SPEAKER_00]: Exhaustion becomes permission to rest.
04:04.116 --> 04:06.898
[SPEAKER_00]: And then the moment you start feeling better.
04:07.679 --> 04:11.282
[SPEAKER_00]: Feeling better becomes proof that the rest is over.
04:13.075 --> 04:14.596
[SPEAKER_00]: Breathe, this hit at one more time.
04:14.676 --> 04:16.678
[SPEAKER_00]: All right, let's look at that pattern.
04:17.239 --> 04:20.021
[SPEAKER_00]: Exhaustion becomes permission to rest.
04:21.322 --> 04:25.046
[SPEAKER_00]: Feeling better becomes proof that rest is over.
04:26.267 --> 04:28.569
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm exhausted, so now I can stop.
04:29.309 --> 04:32.132
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel a little better, so now I should get back up.
04:32.772 --> 04:38.878
[SPEAKER_00]: I get up, I spend what I had, just got back, just to feel depleted again.
04:39.865 --> 04:41.887
[SPEAKER_00]: And then now I can stop again.
04:42.107 --> 04:47.732
[SPEAKER_00]: These eat, push, drain, stop, feel better, go.
04:48.573 --> 04:53.377
[SPEAKER_00]: Push, drain, stop, feel better, go.
04:53.917 --> 04:59.162
[SPEAKER_00]: And you sit in there wondering, why does rest never really feel like enough?
04:59.993 --> 05:06.557
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe sometimes it's just because rest never keeps us at the first sign that you had to function again.
05:07.397 --> 05:09.838
[SPEAKER_00]: Now I need to make an important distinction here.
05:09.858 --> 05:18.343
[SPEAKER_00]: Because if you're living with persistent pelvic pain or fatigue and you rest and you're still tired, that does not mean you're doing the rest wrong.
05:18.743 --> 05:25.327
[SPEAKER_00]: Because pain is exhausting and fatigue can have many contributors that deserve appropriate medical attention.
05:25.607 --> 05:29.450
[SPEAKER_00]: So I'm not telling you just rest better and everything will be fixed.
05:29.711 --> 05:31.272
[SPEAKER_00]: No, that's not what I'm saying.
05:31.672 --> 05:34.074
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm asking something much more specific.
05:34.535 --> 05:39.038
[SPEAKER_00]: When you do start feeling a little better, what do you do next?
05:39.539 --> 05:42.061
[SPEAKER_00]: Because that's something we can actually observe.
05:42.521 --> 05:43.902
[SPEAKER_00]: And I understand why we get up.
05:44.143 --> 05:46.304
[SPEAKER_00]: Because like, don't stop while you're resting.
05:46.645 --> 05:48.786
[SPEAKER_00]: That part nobody really talks about.
05:49.087 --> 05:51.188
[SPEAKER_00]: The laundry didn't say, oh, she's recovery.
05:51.509 --> 05:52.790
[SPEAKER_00]: We'll handle ourselves.
05:53.230 --> 05:54.390
[SPEAKER_00]: We'll start the cycle.
05:54.731 --> 05:55.331
[SPEAKER_00]: We'll drive.
05:55.371 --> 05:55.911
[SPEAKER_00]: We're full.
05:55.931 --> 05:57.031
[SPEAKER_00]: We'll put everything up.
05:57.191 --> 05:57.472
[SPEAKER_00]: No.
05:57.852 --> 05:59.352
[SPEAKER_00]: The emails didn't disappear.
05:59.712 --> 06:02.293
[SPEAKER_00]: The groceries didn't walk themselves into the refrigerator.
06:02.493 --> 06:03.434
[SPEAKER_00]: Wait a minute.
06:03.454 --> 06:05.594
[SPEAKER_00]: The groceries didn't put themselves in the car.
06:05.915 --> 06:09.316
[SPEAKER_00]: Just for you to be ordering them to get to the house for you to unpack.
06:09.716 --> 06:10.376
[SPEAKER_00]: Come on y'all.
06:10.636 --> 06:15.398
[SPEAKER_00]: The responsibilities still are responsible.
06:15.778 --> 06:16.178
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
06:16.458 --> 06:19.059
[SPEAKER_00]: So while you're resting, there can be this
06:21.827 --> 06:24.089
[SPEAKER_00]: need to do that, need to catch up on this.
06:24.309 --> 06:25.329
[SPEAKER_00]: I lost the whole day.
06:25.830 --> 06:26.470
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm behind.
06:26.870 --> 06:32.254
[SPEAKER_00]: So the moment you feel better, you don't have the energy.
06:32.794 --> 06:34.376
[SPEAKER_00]: You have a backlog.
06:35.076 --> 06:42.021
[SPEAKER_00]: You heard me a backlog and suddenly that little bit of energy already belongs to everything that you couldn't do.
06:42.441 --> 06:47.324
[SPEAKER_00]: That's why I sit some feeling better because let me catch up.
06:47.664 --> 06:50.026
[SPEAKER_00]: And before you know it, you've spent the very thing
06:52.313 --> 06:54.656
[SPEAKER_00]: But I think there's an even deeper question.
06:55.156 --> 06:58.200
[SPEAKER_00]: What does that rest really mean to you?
06:59.001 --> 07:01.884
[SPEAKER_00]: When there's still something you could be doing?
07:02.745 --> 07:04.347
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, follow me.
07:05.448 --> 07:06.249
[SPEAKER_00]: You hear the question?
07:06.329 --> 07:07.490
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm gonna run about one more time.
07:07.851 --> 07:13.297
[SPEAKER_00]: What does rest mean to you when there's still something you could be doing?
07:13.657 --> 07:18.161
[SPEAKER_00]: Because it's easy to justify rest when you literally cannot continue.
07:18.581 --> 07:29.330
[SPEAKER_00]: But what about when you could, you could answer the email, you could follow the laundry, you could run the air and you could finish the project and you choose not to.
07:30.031 --> 07:31.172
[SPEAKER_00]: What happens inside of you then?
07:31.532 --> 07:32.793
[SPEAKER_00]: I really want you to think about it.
07:33.374 --> 07:37.678
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you feel lazy, behind, unproductive?
07:38.430 --> 07:48.994
[SPEAKER_00]: guilty, like your wasting time, like you should be doing something because maybe the hardest kind of rest isn't resting because you can't go any more.
07:49.334 --> 07:53.516
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it's resting when you technically could keep going.
07:54.196 --> 08:01.859
[SPEAKER_00]: That's different and that is where the push through can hide because if the only time you're allowed to stop is when your body makes it difficult,
08:02.648 --> 08:06.232
[SPEAKER_00]: to continue, then your limit is making the decision for you.
08:06.813 --> 08:09.837
[SPEAKER_00]: Your limit is making the decision for you.
08:10.297 --> 08:11.679
[SPEAKER_00]: You're not choosing rest.
08:11.899 --> 08:15.043
[SPEAKER_00]: You're reaching the point where rest becomes unavoidable.
08:15.808 --> 08:19.251
[SPEAKER_00]: I've had to look at this too, because I like getting things done.
08:19.451 --> 08:20.732
[SPEAKER_00]: I like feeling productive.
08:20.852 --> 08:25.536
[SPEAKER_00]: And when you're navigating health challenges, there can be something exciting about feeling good.
08:25.876 --> 08:28.658
[SPEAKER_00]: You're like, oh, I have energy today.
08:29.059 --> 08:31.180
[SPEAKER_00]: And immediately, what can I get done?
08:31.661 --> 08:36.685
[SPEAKER_00]: But I've had to ask and learn to really train my brain for a different question.
08:36.965 --> 08:43.430
[SPEAKER_00]: Not how much can I do, because I feel better, but what do I want feeling better to make possible?
08:44.563 --> 08:45.544
[SPEAKER_00]: Try that one more time.
08:46.084 --> 08:49.406
[SPEAKER_00]: What do I want feeling better to make possible?
08:49.826 --> 08:51.647
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes that's getting something done.
08:52.087 --> 08:57.950
[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely, sometimes that's walking, going somewhere, working, creating, living.
08:58.071 --> 09:03.914
[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes I want feeling better to me I get to enjoy feeling better.
09:05.495 --> 09:13.379
[SPEAKER_00]: Not spend all of it, not prove anything with it, just feel good, be present.
09:13.847 --> 09:19.490
[SPEAKER_00]: enjoy my day, embrace gratitude, acknowledge the blessings of my life.
09:19.910 --> 09:23.713
[SPEAKER_00]: Because that's the point of work and so hard to support myself.
09:24.133 --> 09:36.080
[SPEAKER_00]: If every good day immediately becomes another work day, I'm gonna try it one more time so you can really catch this because what's the point of working so hard to support myself?
09:36.700 --> 09:41.663
[SPEAKER_00]: If every good day immediately becomes another work day,
09:42.427 --> 09:44.768
[SPEAKER_00]: And I look at what we've uncovered last episode.
09:44.868 --> 09:49.290
[SPEAKER_00]: Self-abandoned me as, why am I always the easiest person to postpone?
09:50.431 --> 10:04.937
[SPEAKER_00]: Now look at this, you finally get some energy back and who gets first access to work, the house, everybody else, everything you're behind on, and you, our rest later again.
10:05.712 --> 10:09.593
[SPEAKER_00]: The issue is push through can right back through the side door.
10:09.893 --> 10:12.034
[SPEAKER_00]: That's why these patterns can be hard to see.
10:12.374 --> 10:14.154
[SPEAKER_00]: They don't always look dramatic.
10:14.354 --> 10:17.195
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes they sound like, sit some feeling better.
10:18.575 --> 10:20.336
[SPEAKER_00]: So I want to give you one question this week.
10:20.676 --> 10:31.919
[SPEAKER_00]: When you notice yourself feeling a little better and your brain immediately starts assigning tasks, calls, and as just because I can do more.
10:32.399 --> 10:33.179
[SPEAKER_00]: Do I need to?
10:34.362 --> 10:39.386
[SPEAKER_00]: That's it, not should I do nothing, not do I have to rest all day?
10:39.866 --> 10:44.410
[SPEAKER_00]: No, just because I can do I need to.
10:45.050 --> 10:49.894
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe the answer is yes, maybe something generally needs your attention.
10:50.435 --> 10:54.298
[SPEAKER_00]: Do it, maybe the answer is actually that can wait.
10:55.205 --> 10:58.869
[SPEAKER_00]: Let it, the goal is in doing less for the sake of doing less.
10:59.189 --> 11:02.652
[SPEAKER_00]: The goal is choosing before the pattern chooses for you.
11:03.353 --> 11:04.814
[SPEAKER_00]: That's self leadership.
11:05.395 --> 11:06.536
[SPEAKER_00]: And I want you to try something.
11:06.616 --> 11:07.177
[SPEAKER_00]: Just once.
11:07.557 --> 11:10.240
[SPEAKER_00]: The next time you feel yourself getting tired.
11:10.820 --> 11:12.562
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't wait for it done.
11:13.923 --> 11:14.924
[SPEAKER_00]: Notice tired.
11:15.905 --> 11:17.767
[SPEAKER_00]: Before tired becomes depleted.
11:18.912 --> 11:19.352
[SPEAKER_00]: that's it.
11:19.993 --> 11:22.154
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't even have to change anything yet.
11:22.395 --> 11:23.335
[SPEAKER_00]: Just notice.
11:24.076 --> 11:26.978
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, this is where I usually realize I'm tired.
11:27.278 --> 11:33.603
[SPEAKER_00]: Then as what would I do right now if I didn't have to prove I was exhausted first?
11:34.784 --> 11:35.925
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you take 10 minutes.
11:36.345 --> 11:37.126
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you eat.
11:37.646 --> 11:39.167
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you change the plan.
11:39.548 --> 11:40.648
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you sit down.
11:41.309 --> 11:42.310
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you keep
11:48.348 --> 11:53.593
[SPEAKER_00]: The win is that you noticed and you chose.
11:54.174 --> 11:56.956
[SPEAKER_00]: Because imagine having a different relationship with rest.
11:57.417 --> 11:59.318
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to crash before you start.
11:59.559 --> 12:03.042
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to spend every ounce of energy because it's available.
12:03.342 --> 12:06.065
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to prove your exhausted enough.
12:06.585 --> 12:10.769
[SPEAKER_00]: And when you feel good, you get to enjoy some of the good.
12:11.209 --> 12:12.711
[SPEAKER_00]: You can work, move, move, move.
12:13.161 --> 12:20.567
[SPEAKER_00]: make plans, show up, take care of things, and still have something left for your actual life.
12:20.947 --> 12:25.530
[SPEAKER_00]: Because the goal isn't to become really good at recovering from constantly draining yourself.
12:25.990 --> 12:34.237
[SPEAKER_00]: The goal is to build a life where draining yourself isn't always the price of participation and that's different.
12:34.677 --> 12:37.839
[SPEAKER_00]: So my tired women, I want you to think about this.
12:43.998 --> 12:44.379
[SPEAKER_00]: is it?
12:44.459 --> 12:56.851
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm getting tired, pain increasing, irritability, camp focus, everybody else is taking care of or I literally cannot keep going.
12:57.640 --> 13:23.997
[SPEAKER_00]: Tell me because I want to understand where your threshold is not what you think it should be and what it actually is and if you live in what persistent pill but pain and disrupt the periods on your days that are being shaped by how much energy you have and how much pain you're in what you can get through or how much your recovery you need after where I want you to hit the show notes and take.
13:24.317 --> 13:26.798
[SPEAKER_00]: the pelvic pain assessment.
13:27.038 --> 13:31.220
[SPEAKER_00]: Three questions about everyday life with pelvic pain actually looks like.
13:31.641 --> 13:35.522
[SPEAKER_00]: I want you to understand your pelvic pain impact.
13:35.682 --> 13:38.084
[SPEAKER_00]: How much of it is really shaped by your life.
13:38.664 --> 13:48.028
[SPEAKER_00]: And I want you to talk about, in your mind, really think about am I really resting?
13:48.809 --> 13:49.749
[SPEAKER_00]: How do I
13:54.115 --> 13:55.176
[SPEAKER_00]: cushion through.
13:55.196 --> 13:56.417
[SPEAKER_00]: All right.
13:56.837 --> 13:57.598
[SPEAKER_00]: That is it.
13:57.818 --> 14:02.242
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I want to talk about one more of the most frustrating parts of pelvic pain.
14:02.382 --> 14:05.024
[SPEAKER_00]: Why does this feel so unpredictable?
14:05.324 --> 14:13.271
[SPEAKER_00]: Because you had days where you're thinking I did the same thing yesterday and I was fine or why did that bother me this time?
14:13.391 --> 14:17.074
[SPEAKER_00]: Or maybe you're constantly trying to figure out what triggered this?
14:17.554 --> 14:19.436
[SPEAKER_00]: That's what we're going in the next episode.
14:19.536 --> 14:22.378
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm not going to tell you every pelvic pain flare.
14:22.658 --> 14:25.880
[SPEAKER_00]: has some hidden warning signs you've failed to notice.
14:26.381 --> 14:31.104
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes symptoms really can be unpredictable, but remember what we've been learning.
14:31.344 --> 14:37.648
[SPEAKER_00]: There may still be information available to us that we haven't learned how to use.
14:38.048 --> 14:46.193
[SPEAKER_00]: So we're gonna talk about what it means to know your body is communicating without turning your entire life into a symptom investigation.
14:46.453 --> 14:49.335
[SPEAKER_00]: But this week, notice what gives you permission to rest
14:52.484 --> 15:03.391
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, since I'm up, just as, because I can do more, do what I need to, because you don't have to wait until you're completely drained to deserve risk and feeling better.
15:03.811 --> 15:07.493
[SPEAKER_00]: Doesn't automatically mean risk has to be over.
15:07.733 --> 15:13.397
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's your healthy habits and lifestyle coach, Joe Bonnie, host of the Empire Plays, Empire Last Podcast.
15:13.817 --> 15:15.238
[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for watching with me, y'all.
