Part Two: Anthony Comstock's War On Women

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record my skin still looks great not to mention i get botox so i just have to get rid of my smile



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fucking lines and you have an excuse to get botox it's nothing to do with your appearance no actually



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i it did not change my appearance at all yeah i mean i've never noticed any difference no it's



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not like you had a wrinkly forehead no i still look 10 years young perfect conversation for an



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audio medium speaking of judging women by their appearance and otherwise hey did you know that



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as we're recording this which is quite a bit later than when we recorded part one six months



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later the tv series the handmaid's tale just started season six yeah well we're living in



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the handmaid's tale now you know it's the the show about how christian nationalists



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took over a chunk of their country and where religion is used to put women back in their



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place and they're most prized for their ability to reproduce yeah we're completely unbelievable



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and you know could never have wild scenario yeah well i mean the good news is is we're at the early



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stages of that so anyway late stage handmaid's tale would be fucking ridiculous so now we can



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get back to talking about anthony comstock who could only have dared to dream of a future as



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glorious and devoted to god as margaret atwood envisioned in her groundbreaking novel



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i can only imagine how glorious he would have thought gilead and that show would have been



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i hate everything so much so welcome to chainsaw history everybody if you haven't shot yourself yet



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uh this is the podcast where we show historical figures the respect a four-month-old puppy gives



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the living room rug oh or couches we know all about puppies we became puppy parents yeah if



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you follow me on instagram uh jamie1km you'll you can see some of the puppy pictures but i am your



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jamie chambers and this is my sister bambi hello please remember we're a comedy podcast



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i am not historian but i have watched a lot of doctor who oh i'm just sad well don't worry but



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i'm here this is definitely not gonna help this is not gonna help me at all because before it was



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like we need to stop this now it's like well this is our grim reality now we're just on the



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roller coaster we can just go we on the way down oh you mean we're gonna act like we're the stock



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roller coaster all the way down trying to climb back up so you can find our full back catalog



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detailed show notes and other goodies over at chainsawhistory.com and if you click our logo



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on our tiktok account assuming that tiktok still exists by the time you hear this



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yeah or who knows it or you could post it on reels yeah well it's good it's going to be on youtube



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well jamie that's just cathartic so yeah so far i've done precisely one of those where i talk



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about donald trump's fascination with william mckinley and i actually talk about what mckinley



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actually did and how the tariffs thing actually worked out back in the 1800s so that was fun uh



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so but today we're talking about anthony comstock and i got to give a content warning because today



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we're talking about abortion contraception pornography violence and self-harm plus you



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know a little dose of modern american politics in case you haven't figured that out yet



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we'll try not to dwell too much on that we're gonna we're gonna soak in the past today i wish i



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could be that back when america for a girl back when america was great so we recorded part one



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back during the biden administration so here is a refresher i missed that fucking old man i've



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never missed any fucking president more ah sleepy joe things are so boring then i know i didn't have



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to watch the news every day so anyone who needs a refresher or if you just skipped straight to



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like a maniac let's go over it anthony comstock was born to uptight connecticut parents and was



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raised in the puritan way with hard work only interrupted by prayer and church yes he was a



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fucking weirdo tony's mother died when he was 10 years old leaving him obsessed with being worthy



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of her memory and deciding that all other women should be judged against her impossible dead



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standard yeah again a weirdo and in school the little guy was punished for his childhood antics



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with beatings and being forced to wear a pretty hat and sit with the girls well you know that's



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as they did then it's not cool but it certainly didn't help his attitude toward women i don't



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think it's hard to say but after earning a whipping for drinking with another teenager



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tony also declared a lifelong war against booze along with most other forms of vice



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and this is where he really really like dug into being a weirdo years later he learned of illegal



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alcohol sales in his town's only tavern and after being a karen failed completely he broke in like



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a really lame ninja and destroyed all the liquor and caused the bar to close see he's



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no fun at all the comstocks lost the family farm during the civil war and tony enlisted with the



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union army to honor the memory of his dead brother samuel who died from wounds received at the battle



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of gettysburg yeah like pretty much a lot of them did that was a rough day and it was in the army



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that he started an outreach on behalf of the young men's christian association the ymca ymca



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yeah ymca not a gay anthem anymore apparently they can say whatever they want comstock led



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prayer groups when not being an uptight teetotaling moral crusader that nobody liked



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he also kept a detailed diary of his spiritual struggles mostly just letting us know every time



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he reached down his pants for a little tug yeah we didn't need to know it but thanks to his diary



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we know every single time for a year of his life well that is amazing because he would not have



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liked that and fuck this guy a lot nope but as you're about to find out he didn't give a fuck



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about anybody else's privacy so we are going to ignore him



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his requests for the same after the war tony drifted aimlessly for a bit before a relative



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gave him a little cash and some advice go to new york and find something to do so he did and the



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big apple that comstock found himself in was full of vice and sexuality just out on the street for



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everybody to see someone had to clean up this modern day sodom and by god tony comstock had



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the mutton chops for the job you're ready to get into part two sure so we last saw tony fresh on



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the streets of new york



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city with only a few bucks in his pocket and surrounded by glorious vice and sin yeah people



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were just living their lives having a good time not knowing that this ass and he was like i need



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to stop all of this fun that you're having because you know it's not like the times were great well



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at the moment he had less than four dollars so he scored a room at a cheap lodging house near city



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hall said his prayers and set about looking for a job and within a week he landed one as a porter



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so there was like back-breaking work hauling around huge cases of drugs and he was like



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okay yeah he's scoring all 12 bucks a week but because he was an ocd apple polisher he straightened



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up everything in the stock room and like organized it by you know efficiency and immediately got a



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promotion to shipping clerk uh no raise though but still not breaking your back is probably



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preferable to breaking your back and again it's like okay so he he's a hard worker he got his



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he got a promotion through hard work and merit if there's if there's one thing that's not right it's



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that a good puritan you know from connecticut's gonna be is a hard fucking worker and that



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comstock was um seeing no further room for advancement he quit his job as a stock clerk



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and got into sales initially taking a huge pay cut but only uh so he's only getting like five



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dollars a week but with the potential for sales to elevate his earnings whereas before it's basically



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a dead-end job like this is all ever earn these people don't do raises yeah tony not only attended



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church on the regular but officially joined the young men's christian association



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and thanks to the ymca he was constantly exposed to lectures and literature warning of the dangers



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of gambling booze and porn and he was inspired to take action from trumbull's book comstock fighter



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remember this is the very flattering one written by in fact this may have even been like a paid



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biography we're not sure one of his friends had been led astray and corrupted and diseased



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i think you know what kind of disease yeah you know in a spirit of bitter resentment young



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comstock determined to make the responsible person pay for the



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ruin he had worked he found that a man named charles conroy occupying a basement in warren



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street and the next block to where comstock was then employed had sold the stuff to his friend



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comstock bought a book from conroy found where the fellow kept his stock secreted then showed



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the police captain of the precinct what he had bought the police captain went personally with



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comstock and arrested the criminal seizing his stock of books and pictures unquote so he goes



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and buys a titty book from this guy and then busts him and then busts him and then busts him



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what a fucking piece of shit so he's like barely in town when he starts his shit yeah mr conroy the



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porn dealer it was comstock's first new york arrest and since he wouldn't give up the smut



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business the two would become bitter enemies and you'll be hearing his name again i hope he wins



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it's also the smut man well you're gonna like what he does one day but we'll get there it's



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also the beginning of comstock's collection of seized pornography which would one day grow vast



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he didn't throw anything away uh yeah



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i'm sure you have to keep it away from some other people i'm sure he i'm you know i'm if they were



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locked away he never looked tony kept all of this up for a while working all the time you know minding



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everybody else's business eating the shittiest food worrying about if other people were jerking



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off and not getting enough rest until he collapsed sick as hell yeah well i mean he was a puritan



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this is what do they do so he like just couldn't go to work for a bit and then uh because labor



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laws didn't exist he came back to work to find out he had been



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fired but luckily he was able to shift to something else and through hard work and good



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puritan values he got a different job and was able to find another smut dealer to shut down



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on behalf of jesus and the ymca i'm so glad that all these fucking people were saved from



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pornography from the sunday edition of the new york times may 2nd 1869 quote headline indecent



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literature at the suggestion of captain john jordan of the sixth precinct



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mr anthony comstock of number 359 broadway entered the bookstore at number 57 center street



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yesterday and purchased an indecent book from the proprietor william simpson who had often been



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suspected of dealing in such publications simpson was at once arrested and on being arraigned before



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the magistrate was held for trial at special sessions unquote and from tony's fawning



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biographer trumbull quote again in the spirit of an avenger of wrongs done to young men the



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clean-lived young connecticut christians started on the trail of one of the most



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those worse than murderers unquote fuck you see they literally are just selling some some titty



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pics yeah today i learned that loaning out titty books is worse than blowing a motherfucker's brains



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out who knew i i hate this guy so much what the fuck it's just because he hates women he hates



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women and naked women especially because they inspire him to sin against god uh you know what



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jesus said about that gouge out your own fucking



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eyes no well maybe that's the way you see it but anthony comstock is like no put your tits away



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because i am way too horny for this you know what i'm with the french tits out arms up there you go



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anyway this is another case where local cops were covering for the porn purveyors also getting paid



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off so tony not only got simpson arrested but a cop kicked off the force so at least we have that



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eventually tony was able to scrape together five hundred dollars so he could buy a little house



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in brooklyn and achieve the dream of a family of his own because somewhere in the middle of all



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this tony fell in love well i mean i hope to god after this point he would start worrying about his



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wife's vagina and not everybody else's but no no that would be that would be too much for this



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weirdo continue what kind of lady do you think no she was probably no fucking fun at all they



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only had sex to procreate well we're about to do that too uh margaret



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hamilton who went by maggie was one of two spinster sisters who had toiled their younger



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lives away in their father's store a religious presbyterian woman maggie was 10 years older



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than tony and reportedly not in super great health from roundsman of the lord now this is the



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biography devoted entirely to roasting comstock anthony's love for his mother was to be a living



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thing through all his life and perhaps he found it easy to love this faded sweet and self-effacing



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woman whom he had chosen as his bride unquote yeah



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you know he she reminded of his like a meek hard-working religious woman yeah who's probably



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been you know half worked to death and looked like she'd been beaten down he was like this is



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the girl of my dreams and they're apparently our life has already kicked her ass and there were



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little anecdotes saying that she was a little well they were both a little sensitive of the



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fact that she was 10 years older than him because that was the opposite of the norm in the eight



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lady 200s yeah i'm sure she was real since i'm sure she was real sensitive about her age just



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in general but tony's diary entries are full of little remarks about his wife being weak but also



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loving tributes he called her dear m and my precious little wife and even a blessed gift



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maggie's relatives often came to stay with him and eventually her sister jenny came to live with



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him full time he took joy in their little home but was always dissatisfied and restless and



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annoyingly holier than thou here's an example when the comstocks visited with some neighbors



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for the first time and these became long-term friends uh this is what he



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wrote in his diary quote they both seem so earnest they feel that life is earnest and one must be



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earnest to live i hate this milk and water system give me a man who dares to do right and one ready



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at all times to discharge his duty to the community and to god unquote yeah he just can't you know have



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a good time how dare people be pleasant and earnest yeah and uh and again he's like right



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now he's living with women and even though he's not living with women he's living with women



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he loves his wife he hates women complicated feelings let's just say so some it's hard being



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a fucking weirdo some overly religious nut jobs say like matthew hale seem to be joyless and have



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zero sense of humor and i'm sure people around him probably wish this were the case with tony



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comstock because we hear he was something of a practical joker oh my god now i didn't get a lot



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of good practical joke stories uh throughout this research but there were films like sometimes he



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would just pretend he was drunk and fuck with people or he would trap them in his office by



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innocent little idiocies whatever the fuck that means and then there's this from roundsman of the



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lord quote and it is said that during a trial he once handed a juror an exhibit consisting of a



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book which exploded when the unfortunate man opened it unquote so literally in court he has



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this guy an exploding book okay that's funny it's kind of crazy like what's the fuck unhinged thing



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to do but okay that



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totally



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tony what a character now near the end of 1871 tony had a lot to worry about he reported that



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trade still holds dull in his journal more than a few times which is his way of saying shit i'm



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not selling anything and his entries are a mix of hopeful praise of god followed by self-doubt



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followed by self-hatred for having self-doubt when he's in the lord's hands and he should know



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that everything's going to be fine because he's just ridden with guilt at all moments it's you



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know it's that's fine but why does your problem have to be everyone else's



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that's what i ask myself about people every day why are your fucking problem everyone else's



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keep it to yourself well instead of doing that he does this great this is again from from comstock's



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journal quote yesterday it was sunday saw two liquor saloons open and called police officer



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134 to close them he refused i threatened to report him and told one party he had better pull his door



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i have today proffered charges before the police commissioners i am determined to act as part of



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good citizen and wherever a man breaks the laws i will make him satisfy the laws if in my power



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unquote okay how does he know they're unlawful well i mean they're open on a sunday which is



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against the law in new york okay so he and his wife are like walking back and forth past these



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open bars as they're going to church people are drinking and having a good time when they're



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supposed to be praying



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and worshiping yeah well fuck you not everybody wants to tony quickly learned that he was going



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not just against an evil bar owner and the weakness of sinners but against the corruption



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of the city from his self-righteous journal entry quote oh how i loathe the actions of corrupt



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officials in our city this is a murderous age crime stalketh and yes he wrote stalketh king



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james style i hate him crime stalketh abroad by daylight and public officers wink at him



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at it money can buy our judges and corrupt our juries but god is helping me it shall never buy



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or sell me i believe jesus would never wink at any wrong nor would he countenance it unquote



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dude he does not believe in the same jesus that was the jesus that hung out with prostitutes



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prostitutes and again lepers and yeah who fucking you know turned over tables and



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beat the priest with whips again the same jesus who beat the priest with wits again the same jesus who beat the priest with whips again the same jesus who beat the priest with whips again the



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same jesus who was like oh you have lustful thoughts about her gouge out your own eyes



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it ain't her problem he seems to have uh sort of sanded that part off yeah no he's going complete



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old testament but trying to make it jesus but to be fair he's not exactly the only one then or now



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that is selectively interpreted it's completely fucking unhinged yeah see the handmaid's tale



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uh so tony goes to war with two local saloons one of which is like right down the street from



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his own house so he's like a person who can literally get in his face without taking a long



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walk he decides to fuck with immediately and this is owned by a guy named chapman who has local cops



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paid off comstock was super offended that he had to walk past this open bar on the lord's day he



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also found out that the business hosted dog and cockfighting in the basement after tony paid a



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visit to the commissioners of the excise board chapman started stalking around tony's house and



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threatening him worried for his safety



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tony asked both the da and the chief of police for help since the local cops were on the dole and



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he couldn't count on them to protect him yeah well i mean honestly yeah all of these people



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should be like fuck you uh they both gave tony the same advice buy a gun yeah if you can't protect



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yourself it's no one else's problem then you shouldn't make enemies of all of the locals



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well your community hates you that's not that's not how



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a good citizen works uh yeah and things just kept getting more intense in this situation he



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completely created yeah well you know honestly it kind of almost would have been better if this guy



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would have killed him and the end but that's not how it works continue here's how it went instead



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quote uh this is from comstock fighter professor homer b sprague presented mr comstock with a



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handsome 16 shot winchester repeating rifle upon which mr comstock sent word to the chapman gang



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that he was prepared to take care of them at a rate of 16 a minute chapman sent word that he and



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his gang would raid his shanty and drive him out of the neighborhood and chapman told comstock servant



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girl that he was gonna do up mr comstock the first time you met him one day the dive keeper and bully



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saw his man coming toward him on the street he stopped and asked is your name comstock that is



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my name was the quiet reply i'm gonna break your goddamn neck for you was chapman's immediate threat



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i have consulted with the chief of police and the district attorney said mr comstock and they've



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advised me to defend myself against you to hell with the chief of police and the district attorney



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snarled chapman and this is what i propose to do with it said mr comstock ignoring the interruption



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and drawing a revolver and if you make any attempt to interfere with me i'll put daylight



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through you the bully made for his saloon in a lively fashion and the incident was closed later



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on mr comstock was waylaid by six tufts but he disposed with them and the chief of police



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with equal success unquote well i mean i'm glad he didn't shoot anyone and nobody gets nobody gets



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shot but there's a lot of threats at this point so with evidence they broke the law both of the



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evil saloon owners were arrested and charged with violating the chick-fil-a business calendar



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tony had statements and witnesses and evidence ready to go only for the case to be delayed



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over and over again from roundsman of the lord quote



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proceedings a matter for solemn comment mcnamara the other bar owner drops dead behind his bar



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00:22:01
and comstock observes that he has gone to a higher tribunal chapman in the end lost his license and



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00:22:07
was driven out of business the cause of righteousness had triumphed and its leader



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00:22:10
could look about for new worlds to conquer unquote near the end of 1871 hate everything



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00:22:16
all the time okay near the end of 1871 mrs comstock gave birth to a nine pound baby girl



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00:22:24
they named lily



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00:22:26
who unfortunately did not live past the following summer like a lot of kids in the 19th century



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00:22:31
um don't even know exactly what what happened but she apparently wasn't in good health



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00:22:35
from the beginning realizing that another pregnancy was not a good idea for his beloved wife and



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00:22:40
maybe remembering how his own mother died bleeding to death tony found a new opportunity when a



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00:22:46
destitute woman died in childbirth near chinatown he and maggie legally adopted the baby girl and



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00:22:52
named her adele that's nice they adopted her and she was born in chinatown and she was born in



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00:22:56
chinatown they adopted a baby they adopted a baby and he did not force his wife to keep getting



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00:22:59
pregnant until she died in fact that was that was the only pregnancy that's on record for her



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00:23:03
was the the baby so he stopped fucking his wife so therefore i guess maybe i mean we can assume



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00:23:10
because they didn't believe in contraception it's like what yeah i mean abstinence would be the thing



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00:23:15
and again and that's against his would would have been his mother's wishes i mean her duty was to



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00:23:22
pop out baby she died no concept of how much she was pregnant she was pregnant she was pregnant she was



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00:23:26
was boning his 10 years older wife so well i mean he was a pent-up piece of shit so we can assume



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00:23:33
that he didn't fuck her often uh yeah so again from roundsman about this little girl adele quote



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00:23:40
adele was never a very bright child she grew into a straggling subnormal child whom the employees



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00:23:47
in comstock's office detested to take around with them when he brought her in to see the sights of



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00:23:51
the city she made herself conspicuous after the manner of stupid children



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00:23:56
doing annoying and slightly malicious things when her foster father died she was a woman of more than



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00:24:01
40 so troublesome that it was judged necessary to put her in institution but they say comstock



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00:24:07
never knew that adele was not like other children she was always devotedly attached to him unquote



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00:24:12
so after tony dies years and years later and she's institutionalized like she apparently you know had



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00:24:17
some some issues some developmental issues something was wrong with her and you know what



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00:24:23
the fact and honestly i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know



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00:24:26
this is probably the only nice thing he's ever done he adopted a little girl and he loved her



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00:24:31
and doted on her even though she was a bit special and not his of his own and he's hated comstock so



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00:24:37
much he's slamming this poor chick this poor poor child well at this point she's not a child by the



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00:24:41
time this was written but still whatever and again she her probably you know she was institutionalized



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00:24:47
just by an asshole husband who just didn't want her anymore for x reason i'm confident she never



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00:24:54
read this book



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00:24:56
however tony's career took a more positive turn employed by cochran mclean and company he was a



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00:25:01
traveling salesman for a while earning a solid fifteen hundred dollars a year plus commission



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00:25:05
if annual sales beat a hundred thousand and like the first year he came pretty damn close it was



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00:25:10
like a very it was an achievable goal okay i mean he's actually kind of good at sales apparently



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00:25:15
however he didn't like doing it because well it's just not the most manliest profession well and you



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00:25:23
know it's in his work life it's probably not the most manliest profession it's probably not the



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00:25:26
most normal he could ever be and to be in sales you have to be completely fake yeah and sales also



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00:25:33
is like a social thing in the social side of things at which he doesn't like the kind of



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00:25:37
socializing most people do i'm just surprised that he's good at it good enough he was modestly



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00:25:42
successful with a wife and daughter he truly adored one might think that tony could be content



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00:25:48
and focus on family church and his career but no he's not boning his wife so his pent-up ship



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00:25:55
becomes everybody else's career and he's not boning his wife so he's not boning his wife so he's not



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00:25:56
his pent-up shit uh something had to be done about it so from trumbull's book comstock fighter



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00:26:02
by the way i don't think i ever told you the subtitle to comstock fighter is this i shit you



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00:26:07
not some impressions of a lifetime of adventure in conflict with the powers of evil oh my god



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00:26:14
like this is sucking him off so hard well obviously his wife's not sucking him off



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00:26:19
nearly hard enough this guy trumbull does it for him posthumously quote comstock had come to know



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00:26:26
a young businessman over and over again whose lives were plainly being ruined by their interests



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00:26:31
and obscene pictures and literature and other devilish things that they had easy access to



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00:26:35
one of his friends had been led astray and corrupted and diseased you know that's his



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00:26:41
fault that's his problem it's not your problem certainly not everybody else's problem so not



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00:26:46
content to merely attend church and worship god and lead by example tony took his holy war to the



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00:26:51
streets he wrote an impassioned letter to the secretary of the ymca with his own ideas and



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00:26:56
he is about fighting the moral decay of the city and the letter reached the hands of this dude



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00:27:01
named morris k jessup who is a new york banker in high society muckety muck and at the top of the



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00:27:07
ymca and if you read trumbull's book when these two men met like in shook hands the heavens parted



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00:27:13
in god's holy light shined down upon them quote quote that was the first meeting of these two men



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00:27:20
who worked shoulder to shoulder in the fight with vice from that day in march 1872 until



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00:27:26
jessup's death on january 21st 1908 unquote he made a friend he has a fellow weirdo unfortunately



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00:27:33
now there's two of them yes and one of them has a big checkbook strangely enough this was only



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00:27:40
weeks after comstock caught two young men picking a lock and got them busted for burglary no crime



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00:27:46
on tony's watch and i don't include a lot of these stories just because there's so much i can't throw



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00:27:51
in otherwise we'll just never leave or we have to do another three-parter and again honestly like



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00:27:56
stopping a burglary is fine yeah and there's a bunch of little stories like that i didn't include



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00:28:00
where there was one point where um he was on a train and a black porter was accused of theft



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00:28:05
but he didn't believe it and so tony like stopped everything and did like he became



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00:28:10
poirot and then solved it and proved that the black guy was innocent and i mean that's fine



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00:28:14
i mean people are complicated not i'm glad that he wasn't just a total piece of shit



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00:28:19
i mean the thing about tony is if he saw something he thought was wrong he felt very compelled to



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00:28:26
he also enjoyed conflict he he liked getting in people's faces so newspapers were catching wind



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00:28:33
of this comstock character beyond simple court notices apparently the tribune covered him



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00:28:37
favorably but trumbull reports that all other publications roasted tony every chance they got



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00:28:42
the mercury wrote that if comstock was truly the christian man he liked to pass himself off as



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00:28:48
he would find plenty of smutty books on ann street so tony decided to take the mercury up on its



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00:28:53
suggestion and in fact asked for a reporter from



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00:28:56
his favorite paper the tribune to be assigned to him as he was making seven arrests on a single day



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00:29:02
so is this like his job now well i mean no one gave him this job he's literally just he's just



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00:29:08
making citizens arrests he's just grabbing people and you know getting a cop and saying see but what



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00:29:13
he does is he you know he buys something that's proof yeah well and you know citizens arrest used



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00:29:18
to be a thing it's not anymore you can't just hunt people down and murder them in your neighborhood



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00:29:26
absolutely no reason so this is before he had any authority whatsoever other than what was vested



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00:29:30
in him by jesus christ and he was getting lots of attention a lot more than he did in his day job



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00:29:35
selling dry goods but tony was not one to rest on his laurels he always wanted to move up the chain



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00:29:40
catch bigger fish i have a question sure how do you move up a rank if it's not an actual job there



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00:29:48
are no ranks there's no chain there's no ladder no no we're talking about um on the crime chain



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00:29:54
so just so you know how it is



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00:29:56
you go after the street dealers it's always a losing game you gotta hit the suppliers



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00:29:59
and so tony got wind so much tony got wind that only four men were responsible for the creation



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00:30:07
and distribution of no less than 169 different naughty publications and paid off local cops for



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00:30:13
protection so one of them was named william haynes from roundsmen of the lord quote william haynes was



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00:30:20
formerly an irish surgeon he had been in the publishing business in the united states since



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00:30:24
1842 and was reputed to have been a great writer and writer and writer and writer and writer and



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00:30:26
he was reputed to have written many of the books he had published soon after comstock began his



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00:30:30
investigations of the publishers haynes had received a message from a friend get out of the



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00:30:34
way comstock is after you damn fool won't look at money that same night haynes died it was said by



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00:30:40
his own hand unquote the first and definitely not the last somebody killed themselves rather than



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00:30:46
be publicly destroyed by comstock's bullshit yeah he's an asshole so then comstock shows up to



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00:30:53
obtain all the printing plates and other materials and he's not the only one who's been killed by



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00:30:56
mrs haynes the recent widow greeted him with you killed my husband what a fucking piece of shit



Speaker:
00:31:03
and he literally what under what authority does he have to go into a man's house and take his



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00:31:09
fucking wife's belongings because it's all her shit now well at the thing at this point he doesn't



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00:31:14
really have any authority other than he can get the cops to say that these materials need to be



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00:31:18
seized so as you'll see he has to go about this in a particular way but the thing is like she's



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00:31:23
literally you killed my husband and he's like i never met the guy who killed my husband and he's



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00:31:26
he's a piece of shit and uh made it clear he was there to obtain all the smut and the means of



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00:31:31
production from the jersey city times dated april 5th 1872 quote she said she had been offered



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00:31:37
twelve thousand dollars for them by a new york dealer while mr comstock was in her house an



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00:31:42
expressman drove to the door with a large number of boxes in his wagon she finally told him that



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00:31:46
the boxes contained the plates and electrotypes belonging to her husband mr comstock bought the



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00:31:51
goods for five hundred dollars they included 140 steel plates and 40 copper plates and a



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00:31:56
for printing obscene materials and electrotype plates for printing 21 obscene books the steel



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00:32:00
plates the woman said had cost her husband between twelve thousand and fifteen thousand dollars and



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00:32:05
she further added that he would have left her wealthy if he had not been compelled to expend



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00:32:08
all of his money in feeding detectives who came to him and threatened to arrest him unless he gave



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00:32:13
them what they asked through this woman mr comstock obtained information of a book binder who lives in



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00:32:18
east fifth street near avenue a who binds books for most of the dealers in obscene works in new



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00:32:23
york the binder receiving a promise that his name should not be used in the bookbinder



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00:32:26
not be disclosed delivered to mr comstock one hundred and seventy five thousand steel and



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00:32:29
copper plate engravings which have been left at his office by numerous dealers assistant district



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00:32:34
attorney sullivan and morris k jessup president of the young men's christian association have



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00:32:38
consented to go to washington and albany to advocate for the passage of a law when by which



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00:32:43
the sale of immoral books pictures and articles can be suppressed unquote



Speaker:
00:32:47
again this is just some pent-up asshole making everybody's else's fucking and that's the thing



Speaker:
00:32:55
in the middle of this and i'm not going to be able to do that because i'm not going to be able to do that



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00:32:56
like that story just summed everything up it's like he basically made an offer of five hundred



Speaker:
00:33:00
dollars he did not have he had to go to his buddy jessup and get funding yeah well because because



Speaker:
00:33:06
yeah you're not allowed to just go in and fucking steal her property you have to at least give her



Speaker:
00:33:11
money for it and not leave her destitute you piece of shit and so at this point he's officially



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00:33:17
getting money from the president of the ymca and their destinies are forever intertwined they took



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00:33:22
the engravings and the plates to the polytechnic institute of brooklyn



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00:33:26
a professor helped them destroy hundreds of steel and dozens of copper plates each had cost more than



Speaker:
00:33:31
a hundred dollars to create and it took all day to destroy them all and while we don't have time to



Speaker:
00:33:36
get into exhaustive detail tony got even more self-righteous and ridiculous as he tracked down



Speaker:
00:33:42
the rest of the four porn publishing cartel leaders it's just ridiculous yeah this involved



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00:33:50
lying and blustering his way into people's homes and responding to threats of gunplay with who can



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00:33:55
play at that game



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00:33:56
when tony had to go through multiple judicial precincts to secure charges against jeremiah



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00:34:00
farrell who published dirty books with no pictures at all just not just just it just had some words



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00:34:06
in it that he they were erotic they were they were dirty uh the man evaded capture for two



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00:34:12
weeks and was later found dead trumbull tells us comstock was never able to ascertain the cause of



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00:34:18
his death the spring of 1872 was also when the committee for the suppression of vice was



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00:34:24
established internally and the committee for the suppression of vice was established internally and



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00:34:26
by the ymca copying the name and purpose of a group that already existed in england



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00:34:30
this let the group fund tony's crusade to the tune of eight thousand four hundred and ninety



Speaker:
00:34:35
eight dollars and fourteen cents in less than two years and this is in the 1870s so that's a lot of



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00:34:40
money but allowed him to be the only person with his name in all the newspapers the folks at the



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00:34:46
ymca wanted the results not the smoke and tony he enjoyed the confrontation yeah he was a fucking



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00:34:52
made him feel like made him feel like he's a warrior for god



Speaker:
00:34:56
yeah yeah he's god's fucking asshole crusader jesus wanted none of this but in addition to



Speaker:
00:35:02
that fund was to actually fund the stuff he would like that like buying shit they have to buy



Speaker:
00:35:07
the destruction of material storage all that stuff but they did start paying him directly



Speaker:
00:35:11
for the work as well starting in may 1872 with a 500 token of appreciation which once again in



Speaker:
00:35:18
the 1870s is not a bad little that's not a yeah that's not a bad gig i guess he gets money for



Speaker:
00:35:26
being an asshole yeah so he's now supplementing his income through this stuff that he started as



Speaker:
00:35:31
a hobby see now the song ymca is just ruined forever for all of us i was ruined by the only



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00:35:37
surviving member of the village people last year yeah look it up but the big year of 1872 wasn't



Speaker:
00:35:43
over for comstock just yet because it was the year comstock didn't just go after the male publishers



Speaker:
00:35:49
of porn he decided it was time to put women behind bars oh yeah this is where they're the actual war



Speaker:
00:35:56
against women comes in yeah just bring it on you know but only the bad ones and yeah the bad ones



Speaker:
00:36:01
just like these women fucking living their goddamn lives their crime of not being like his dear



Speaker:
00:36:07
departed mother and sweet angelic wife i fucking hate him oh not as much as you're about to i mean



Speaker:
00:36:13
the good news is is i would have been born in almost any other fucking part point in time i



Speaker:
00:36:19
would have been burned at the stake as a witch well we'll see because you're about we're about



Speaker:
00:36:23
to meet some groovy ladies yeah



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00:36:26
unfortunately i i hope none of them die but i'm sure some of them do so let me make it clear that



Speaker:
00:36:33
in order to just get through tony comstock's story and move on with their damn lives i can't give most



Speaker:
00:36:38
of his victims the attention they deserve so i highly recommend anyone interested in really



Speaker:
00:36:43
getting into these people should check out amy san's book the man who hated women because her



Speaker:
00:36:47
focus is not on comstock but about the people he persecuted and she does really good job plus



Speaker:
00:36:51
she really gets into the fact that most of these women and even some of the men



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00:36:55
were



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00:36:56
parts of the anarchist and socialist movements of the day so there's a lot of politics



Speaker:
00:37:01
the fact that these people were on the fringe left was all part of this so they all are worthy



Speaker:
00:37:08
of more attention than they're getting here but uh yeah their crime is mainly being way too groovy



Speaker:
00:37:12
for the late 19th century so let's start here with victoria woodhull and her sister tennessee



Speaker:
00:37:18
claflin were an unusual pair to say the least they were born dirt poor but turned their family's



Speaker:
00:37:24
beliefs and spiritualism into a reality that they were not supposed to be a part of the



Speaker:
00:37:26
alternative medicine into a traveling road show where they developed kind of larger than life



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00:37:30
personalities they were snaggle salesmen well i mean kind of they were like they would they would



Speaker:
00:37:34
do like in energy healing and then you know like weird cures but they would also do spiritualism



Speaker:
00:37:40
talking to dead relatives and shit so they were into reiki and and crystals and yeah so they're



Speaker:
00:37:49
basically they're the people from the herb shop down the street but they did an interesting career



Speaker:
00:37:54
jump here because when they were young they were like oh my god i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die



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00:37:56
when they moved to new york in the 1870s they met a guy named cornelius vanderbilt yes of those



Speaker:
00:38:01
vanderbilts and while giving you know they were doing psychic readings and healing ailments and



Speaker:
00:38:06
they hit it off and cornelius was willing to back them financially in exchange for their services as



Speaker:
00:38:11
spiritual advisors so victoria and tennessee opened the very first brokerage firm on wall



Speaker:
00:38:16
street operating exclusively by women that's cool and they did quite well for themselves so they



Speaker:
00:38:21
suddenly got rich and didn't have to do their uh the show anymore and literally they were like oh



Speaker:
00:38:26
they became legitimate brokers on wall street that's awesome yeah but again the fact that they



Speaker:
00:38:31
started as just basically like hippie chicks yeah that's cool and they came from fucking nothing



Speaker:
00:38:37
they're truly self-made women uh and this also they kicked down the doors of high society with



Speaker:
00:38:42
new money and brash attitude and they got really political victoria for example was nominated by



Speaker:
00:38:47
the equal rights party as the first woman in our country to ever run for president that's fucking



Speaker:
00:38:52
badass okay and uh her running



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00:38:56
mate frederick douglas who probably didn't know about it until after the election this was two



Speaker:
00:39:01
years after she testified before congress that the 14th and 15th constitutional amendments already



Speaker:
00:39:06
granted women the right to vote she's saying you don't have to give it to us we already have it we



Speaker:
00:39:10
already have it fuck you didn't work but hey it was a good argument meanwhile uh her sister tennessee



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00:39:14
ran for congress in new york and made a bid for the colonel c of the 9th regiment new york national



Speaker:
00:39:20
guard that's awesome it didn't work out there but later she was elected colonel of the 85th regiment



Speaker:
00:39:26
all black soldiers very cool so now these chicks kind of kind of rad uh they also had a uh



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00:39:32
interesting uh relationships with men the sisters advocated for free love which was not polyamory the



Speaker:
00:39:38
free love movement back then was uh was sort of about equality and justice and relationships that



Speaker:
00:39:43
all parties should have the freedom to marry divorce or decide to have children you mean like



Speaker:
00:39:48
women should just have the right to choose what they want to do with their lives which most people



Speaker:
00:39:53
would even find just kind of the norm these days but back then this was



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00:39:56
very radical well no because we weren't people we were still property they pushed for the



Speaker:
00:40:01
legalization of sex work and for sex education to be offered to women and that standards of



Speaker:
00:40:06
dress should be the same for both genders cool and when you say sex work are you talking about



Speaker:
00:40:11
prostitution yeah they're saying that yeah they should be legalized yeah it's like fucking just



Speaker:
00:40:16
let women just be it's like and if this is their only way of making money then fuck you let them



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00:40:21
do it uh they the sisters also supported welfare for mothers and children



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00:40:26
workers rights and the eight-hour workday which didn't exist yet along with fair wages



Speaker:
00:40:30
and again they were connected with the anarchist movement and knew some of the



Speaker:
00:40:34
the people of the day and what year is this 1872 okay so this is that time yep oh this is when the



Speaker:
00:40:42
suffrage is amping up everything's starting to go and so then they decided to start talking about



Speaker:
00:40:49
this shit more and more in a weekly newspaper woodhull and claflin's weekly which promoted



Speaker:
00:40:56
and also was the first english language publication to print the communist manifesto



Speaker:
00:41:00
radical tony comstock certainly wasn't the only moralist in 1870s new york he was just the only



Speaker:
00:41:08
one running around with a gun and acting like a lunatic another self-righteous critic was reverend



Speaker:
00:41:14
henry ward beecher and victoria couldn't resist the chance to slam back at a critic who was also



Speaker:
00:41:19
a hypocrite a hypocritic because this guy was literally giving sermons and talking shit about



Speaker:
00:41:25
the sisters and he was a hypocrite and he was a hypocrite and he was a hypocrite and he was a



Speaker:
00:41:26
and then they learn however that the good reverend was making one of his married lady



Speaker:
00:41:31
parishioners scream to god in a private one-on-one session and so they printed an article spilling



Speaker:
00:41:37
the tea on the whole beecher affair that's fucking amazing they're like oh you want to



Speaker:
00:41:41
talk about some shit about me i know some shit about you buddy so they printed they printed



Speaker:
00:41:46
this article about this affair this famous preacher's having and that's when tony comstock



Speaker:
00:41:50
made his move attempting to file charges in both state and federal court on the charge that it's



Speaker:
00:41:56
illegal to send obscene material through the mail the article taught reference referencing sex



Speaker:
00:42:01
between two people is is illegal because they're what this guy's so hard that's news because there



Speaker:
00:42:07
were laws on the books even though they were kind of weak and toothless but he's still trying he's



Speaker:
00:42:12
like let's just go for it so to sell the case the prosecutor focused on the libel besmirching the



Speaker:
00:42:17
character of a beloved man of god rather than the actual very stupid law that had been broken



Speaker:
00:42:21
because there was no libel wasn't a thing in the case that's a civil thing and he didn't do anything



Speaker:
00:42:26
not sue because he did not want discovery the defense pointed out the worst words used in the



Speaker:
00:42:30
article were token and virginity this triggered some prosecutorial dancing to try to make the



Speaker:
00:42:36
charges stick and the sisters ended up spending a month in jail before securing bail and keeping



Speaker:
00:42:41
two attractive ladies behind bars for that long without a trial kind of shifted the public sympathy



Speaker:
00:42:47
because they would start holding court in jail and reporters would come in and talk yeah



Speaker:
00:42:51
and they were like we didn't do anything wrong go ahead and fucking fuck



Speaker:
00:42:56
and these are not only like these there's not like groovy chicks but they're hot so which which like



Speaker:
00:43:00
makes it a perfect story for journalists because again i mean i hate to say this but i mean to this



Speaker:
00:43:05
day if you want a good news story make it about an attractive white woman yeah and there were two of



Speaker:
00:43:12
them sisters oh two sisters were had a which complicated uh love lives too because i don't



Speaker:
00:43:18
even get into it but if you if you read up on victoria and again who fucking cares who she's



Speaker:
00:43:23
what's she doing she divorced her first husband



Speaker:
00:43:26
and then she had re which was already rare enough back then then she'd remarried and then that guy



Speaker:
00:43:31
was a drunk and she just sort of separated from maybe or maybe not didn't officially divorce got



Speaker:
00:43:36
with this other dude his last name was blood then later on the drunk husband comes back just kind of



Speaker:
00:43:40
just kind of miserable and desperate so they just kind of take him in but the rumor was they were



Speaker:
00:43:44
having some kind of thruple and like lots of scandalous stuff related to victoria and tinny



Speaker:
00:43:51
and still none of it is anybody else's business shouldn't be but unfortunately that's



Speaker:
00:43:56
not the 1870s all right so the newspapers had a field day with reporting and opinion columns



Speaker:
00:44:00
laced with humor and innuendo tony was disgusted that anyone could laugh at such serious matters



Speaker:
00:44:05
and moral degradation the next year tony attended the sister's trial and wrote in his diary about



Speaker:
00:44:10
the crowd he saw in the courtroom quote they were present the most disgusting set of free lovers



Speaker:
00:44:16
the women part thin-faced cross sour looking each wearing a look of well i am boss and oh for a man



Speaker:
00:44:24
the men



Speaker:
00:44:26
unworthy of the name men licentious looking sneakish mean contemptible making a true man



Speaker:
00:44:32
blush to be seen near them this is free love unquote free love now if that doesn't remind



Speaker:
00:44:39
if that doesn't remind you of like modern right-wing douchebags talking about purple



Speaker:
00:44:44
haired lesbians with nose rings and effeminate soy boy men it's like nothing changes it's just



Speaker:
00:44:51
the the language is a little different it's always the same vibe you don't call them



Speaker:
00:44:56
anymore they're silly boys whatever i mean i've learned anything about history is that it's comes



Speaker:
00:45:04
in cycles and we've never escaped oh yeah apparently hundred year cycles which is wild



Speaker:
00:45:10
anyway the story of the trial is long and complicated and during it victoria woodhulls



Speaker:
00:45:16
became obsessed with talking shit about comstock in her speeches and in the weekly good for her



Speaker:
00:45:22
so tony decided to have the sisters arrested repeatedly



Speaker:
00:45:26
every time he started spotted a copy of the newspaper on sale at a newsstand despite the



Speaker:
00:45:30
fact that the case was not even going well in court so he just like maliciously gets them



Speaker:
00:45:35
arrested having to pay bail over and over again and these women are having to just shell out



Speaker:
00:45:39
ridiculous amounts of money just they don't have to rot until the trial is over and that's just



Speaker:
00:45:43
out of pure spite yeah because he's a fight well at some point this is it someone should stop him



Speaker:
00:45:49
so from roundsman because he's not an actual fucking policeman no yet he's not



Speaker:
00:45:56
from roundsman quote on june twenty seventh the case was dismissed prosecution having proved



Speaker:
00:46:01
according to the brooklyn eagles headline an inglorious failure the judge ruled that the law



Speaker:
00:46:07
of eighteen seventy two under which indictment was drawn did not apply to newspapers but only



Speaker:
00:46:11
to the books pamphlets and pictures which its provisions expressly stipulated new thankfulness



Speaker:
00:46:17
that he had been able to have another bill passed a stronger better more inclusive bill than the



Speaker:
00:46:22
paltry statute of eighteen seventy two must have mingled with the disappointment in court and the



Speaker:
00:46:26
law of eighteen seventy two the law of eighteen seventy two must have mingled with the disappointment in court and the



Speaker:
00:46:26
law of eighteen seventy two must have mingled with the disappointment in court and the



Speaker:
00:46:26
lady brokers surrounded by a crowd of congratulating friends and smothered in bouquets were free at last



Speaker:
00:46:33
anthony consoled himself by going out and arresting simpson the book dealer for the third time



Speaker:
00:46:38
he's such a piece of shit he's like god damn it that didn't go well so he just goes and picks on



Speaker:
00:46:45
one of his earliest victims over he'd already arrested twice before i hate him so much don't



Speaker:
00:46:51
worry he's just getting started so tony had just getting amped up so



Speaker:
00:46:56
tony had completely failed and was widely mocked for his involvement but the attention of the case



Speaker:
00:47:01
transformed him from a local new york guy to one of national importance because suddenly newspapers



Speaker:
00:47:06
everywhere are picking up on this because you would think the newspapers especially since he's



Speaker:
00:47:11
going after newspapers would be not real well yeah he but he's good copy he's a good story



Speaker:
00:47:18
yeah i know that's why all these ass that's why we know the fucking names of all these fucking



Speaker:
00:47:23
pieces of shit it's because they're



Speaker:
00:47:26
still around and not quiet so and as stated in roundsman quote the name comstock was becoming



Speaker:
00:47:31
a convenient synonym for prudery puritanism and officious meddling unquote but it's time now for



Speaker:
00:47:37
him to take it to the next level oh he's not enough of a piece of shit yet he has to take



Speaker:
00:47:42
it further because he learned an important lesson in this whole trial of the two sisters and that's



Speaker:
00:47:48
that the law that he had to work with was not strong enough yeah now he has to make new he



Speaker:
00:47:53
needs a new law so he wanted something broad that left him with a new law and he had to make a new law



Speaker:
00:47:56
left no room for titillating topics to travel through the united states mail he tried to get



Speaker:
00:48:00
one person arrested under the old law again this is a guy named frank leslie for a paper called



Speaker:
00:48:04
days doing and all it's just advertisements was the only thing it even had that was scandalous



Speaker:
00:48:09
but he just let any advertiser be there including things like contraception and you know abortion



Speaker:
00:48:13
services and other things that tony did not approve of yeah he was advertising things that



Speaker:
00:48:19
people might actually fucking want or need right but that case never even went to trial so a bitter



Speaker:
00:48:26
time for him to get his sights on washington dc as they do now i know this is going to shock you



Speaker:
00:48:31
but in the late 19th century the united states congress was filled with shady politicians with



Speaker:
00:48:35
direct ties to big business oh no you don't say thankfully we fixed all that shit no there's no



Speaker:
00:48:42
insider trading going on today right now as we're as we're talking when tony showed up to push a



Speaker:
00:48:48
glorious new censorship law capitol hill was dealing with a gigantic scandal tied to the



Speaker:
00:48:54
union pacific railroad and suddenly it's all over the place and it's all over the place and it's all



Speaker:
00:48:56
seemed like the perfect time where all of the congress people would rather talk about protecting



Speaker:
00:49:00
americans from the evil of nudity and profanity so after a few trips to dc uh tony records the



Speaker:
00:49:07
following in his diary quote about 11 30 went up to the senate with my exhibits spent an hour or



Speaker:
00:49:14
two talking and explaining the extent of the nefarious business and answering questions



Speaker:
00:49:18
buckingham pratt ames rumsley cole and numerous others were present all were very much excited



Speaker:
00:49:26
they declared themselves ready to give me any law i might ask for if it was only within the bounds



Speaker:
00:49:30
of the constitution i also saw the vice president all said they were ready to pass my bill promptly



Speaker:
00:49:36
this session unquote oh good so fucking at this time there were right white right wing nut jobs



Speaker:
00:49:44
fucking just yeah ready to go well not just right wing like like so many people were caught up in



Speaker:
00:49:50
this that they were like very ready to just this was an easy this was an easy so however



Speaker:
00:49:56
you know that the look over here tactic that that's not happening right however let's just



Speaker:
00:50:02
throw a bucket of water on little young naive tony because he's literally like yeah they said



Speaker:
00:50:07
this is going to be smooth sailing this is congress this is washington dc yeah well now



Speaker:
00:50:13
granted if they're actually like performing government the way it's supposed to run then



Speaker:
00:50:18
yeah it government is slow motherfucker yeah so tony hung in there through every legislative step



Speaker:
00:50:23
we learned from schoolhouse rock and though he found out that he was going to be in the



Speaker:
00:50:26
district he found it tiresome and tedious he was also scandalized to attend the dc social functions



Speaker:
00:50:31
and find women he described in his journal this way quote almost caricatures of everything but



Speaker:
00:50:37
what a modest lady ought not to be they were brazen dressed extremely silly enameled faces



Speaker:
00:50:43
and powdered hair low dresses hair most ridiculous and altogether most extremely disgusting to every



Speaker:
00:50:50
lover of pure noble modest woman what are they who do they belong to



Speaker:
00:50:56
how can we respect them they disgrace our land and yet consider themselves ladies unquote so



Speaker:
00:51:01
basically they were just dressed really nicely for the time i think the phrase who do they belong



Speaker:
00:51:08
to tells you a lot right there buddy yeah well it's like who do they belong to themselves and



Speaker:
00:51:15
not to mention their husbands these were just rich women dressed like rich ladies these were like



Speaker:
00:51:20
you know congress yeah they probably just look fucking stellar these were the



Speaker:
00:51:26
these were the rich the elite and the attractive that's not puritan modesty you know yeah and



Speaker:
00:51:30
again you will never find puritan modesty in dc it's never been there not once thomas jefferson



Speaker:
00:51:39
was the first fucking president in the white house in washington dc style parties and and again he



Speaker:
00:51:46
had fucking um dolly madison deck out the white house with with congressional money and by god she



Speaker:
00:51:56
was not still there with him in this second season all night bringing beyond the



Speaker:
00:52:14
committee on appropriations had marked three thousand four hundred and twenty five dollars



Speaker:
00:52:18
for a special agent with the idea that the postmaster general would name comstock for that



Speaker:
00:52:23
position but back in new york the committee remained neutral which brings us to comparison



Speaker:
00:52:24
with eddie br pledgees was named after the chairperson for six years for 향 h master



Speaker:
00:52:25
general would name comstock for that position but back in new york the committee now went to hid großen



Speaker:
00:52:25
they usually have the br completing their process of Ч Gear wish was given to some legitimate titles and



Speaker:
00:52:26
for the suppression of vice passed a resolution,



Speaker:
00:52:28
quote, that Mr. C be authorized and instructed



Speaker:
00:52:30
by this committee not to take any salary.



Speaker:
00:52:33
To this, Tony agreed.



Speaker:
00:52:34
He didn't want any tax money



Speaker:
00:52:36
sullying the pure and noble work.



Speaker:
00:52:38
The House version of the bill included



Speaker:
00:52:39
the special agent provision meant for Tony,



Speaker:
00:52:41
but the Senate deleted it.



Speaker:
00:52:43
He furiously scribbled in his diary, quote,



Speaker:
00:52:46
they may do and say what they please about me,



Speaker:
00:52:48
but if they interfere with my work, then beware.



Speaker:
00:52:51
Comstock is nothing.



Speaker:
00:52:53
The master's work is everything.



Speaker:
00:52:56
Unquote.



Speaker:
00:52:57
And this is where we're getting the Comstock Act.



Speaker:
00:53:00
So there were more delays, more arguing in Congress,



Speaker:
00:53:03
more tension due to the ongoing Union Pacific scandal.



Speaker:
00:53:06
The Speaker of the House had promised Tony



Speaker:
00:53:07
he would call up the bill as Congress worked late



Speaker:
00:53:09
into Saturday evening and nothing.



Speaker:
00:53:12
Tony hung in there for half an hour



Speaker:
00:53:13
after the midnight bells before realizing with horror



Speaker:
00:53:16
he was violating God's commandment



Speaker:
00:53:18
to keep the Sabbath sacred.



Speaker:
00:53:20
From Trumbull's book, quote,



Speaker:
00:53:22
he left the Capitol, walked down to Pennsylvania Avenue,



Speaker:
00:53:26
then up the avenue to his room.



Speaker:
00:53:28
And as he walked through the cold March night,



Speaker:
00:53:30
the stress of his conflict seemed to force the perspiration



Speaker:
00:53:32
out of every pore of his body.



Speaker:
00:53:34
His brain was on fire.



Speaker:
00:53:36
Even if he could forget his personal discomfiture,



Speaker:
00:53:39
he was facing another full year without a law adequate



Speaker:
00:53:41
to check the blighting evils that he now knew



Speaker:
00:53:44
he must give his life to blotting out.



Speaker:
00:53:47
That thought was too much.



Speaker:
00:53:49
He was willing to surrender all he had



Speaker:
00:53:50
in doing the work for the Lord,



Speaker:
00:53:52
but to this crushing blow in the Lord's own service,



Speaker:
00:53:55
he could not say,



Speaker:
00:53:55
thy will be done.



Speaker:
00:53:58
He reached his room and he tried to pray.



Speaker:
00:54:00
He could still pray for his bill,



Speaker:
00:54:02
but he would not pray a willing acceptance of God's will



Speaker:
00:54:05
if it were to cross his own, unquote.



Speaker:
00:54:09
So Tony's like,



Speaker:
00:54:10
it's not about enough about him.



Speaker:
00:54:12
Yeah, he's like, no, he couldn't bring himself



Speaker:
00:54:15
to just say thy will be done.



Speaker:
00:54:16
You know, I just accept whatever you want, God.



Speaker:
00:54:18
He's like, no, I gotta have this.



Speaker:
00:54:20
We gotta stop this, God.



Speaker:
00:54:21
You gotta get with me on this.



Speaker:
00:54:22
We gotta stop the porn.



Speaker:
00:54:25
What?



Speaker:
00:54:25
What he seems to not understand



Speaker:
00:54:27
is he's the only one that cares.



Speaker:
00:54:30
Not the only one.



Speaker:
00:54:31
Sadly, a bunch of other people care too.



Speaker:
00:54:34
If it was only those things,



Speaker:
00:54:35
if it were only him,



Speaker:
00:54:36
he would not have been a problem.



Speaker:
00:54:37
The thing is, it's like they're the loud minority.



Speaker:
00:54:41
Tony spent some quality time freaking out,



Speaker:
00:54:42
but later that afternoon,



Speaker:
00:54:43
he ran into the chaplain of the Senate at the local YMCA



Speaker:
00:54:46
and found out that his bill had passed the House



Speaker:
00:54:48
and was quickly passed in the Senate.



Speaker:
00:54:50
Hours of torment and self-flagellation



Speaker:
00:54:52
had been for nothing.



Speaker:
00:54:53
That night, he watched fireworks explode



Speaker:
00:54:55
in the skies of Washington



Speaker:
00:54:56
in celebration of President Grant's second term



Speaker:
00:54:59
and soon made his way back home to Brooklyn



Speaker:
00:55:01
to celebrate his birthday with his devoted wife.



Speaker:
00:55:04
He was 29 years old.



Speaker:
00:55:07
Jesus Christ.



Speaker:
00:55:08
He's still young.



Speaker:
00:55:10
There's so much more of him to go.



Speaker:
00:55:11
Good God.



Speaker:
00:55:13
So he was a young piece of shit.



Speaker:
00:55:15
Oh yeah, he got started early.



Speaker:
00:55:17
Before long, newspapers everywhere



Speaker:
00:55:19
were scouring their advertising sections



Speaker:
00:55:21
for anything that could be used



Speaker:
00:55:22
to send their editors to jail.



Speaker:
00:55:24
Two months later,



Speaker:
00:55:25
private donors funded the creation



Speaker:
00:55:26
of the now independent New York Society



Speaker:
00:55:29
for the Suppression of Vice,



Speaker:
00:55:30
with Tony acting as its chief enforcer.



Speaker:
00:55:34
So you're going to agree with me here.



Speaker:
00:55:36
I absolutely refuse to do a three-part episode



Speaker:
00:55:38
on Anthony Comstock.



Speaker:
00:55:39
So now that we've covered his origin story



Speaker:
00:55:41
and the creation of the Comstock Law



Speaker:
00:55:43
so that the weirdo authors of Project 2025



Speaker:
00:55:46
want to bring back into our lives,



Speaker:
00:55:48
we're just going to kind of do a quick overview



Speaker:
00:55:50
of his later antics.



Speaker:
00:55:51
Oh, thank God.



Speaker:
00:55:52
Yeah, we're not...



Speaker:
00:55:53
This is...



Speaker:
00:55:53
We're in...



Speaker:
00:55:54
I was...



Speaker:
00:55:54
You said three-part originally.



Speaker:
00:55:57
No, no, no way.



Speaker:
00:55:58
No.



Speaker:
00:55:59
Fuck that guy.



Speaker:
00:55:59
Fuck that and fuck this guy.



Speaker:
00:56:01
I did like the law,



Speaker:
00:56:02
like I wanted to kind of really get into



Speaker:
00:56:04
the early part of what he did and do that.



Speaker:
00:56:06
And now we're going to kind of just do



Speaker:
00:56:08
a more quick tour of his later bullshit.



Speaker:
00:56:11
Okay.



Speaker:
00:56:11
So in 1874, that guy, Charles Conroy,



Speaker:
00:56:14
his very first score,



Speaker:
00:56:17
was really getting sick of being arrested.



Speaker:
00:56:19
So he pulled a knife and slashed Tony's face open.



Speaker:
00:56:21
Nice.



Speaker:
00:56:22
Maybe that's why Tony then shows...



Speaker:
00:56:24
He goes to focus more of his efforts



Speaker:
00:56:26
on anarchists, socialists, and free love advocates.



Speaker:
00:56:28
Because he's...



Speaker:
00:56:29
But yeah, but anarchists will really get you.



Speaker:
00:56:32
If you don't want to get fucking murdered,



Speaker:
00:56:33
don't fuck with an anarchist.



Speaker:
00:56:35
Well, yeah, apparently,



Speaker:
00:56:36
continually arresting a street magazine dealer



Speaker:
00:56:39
wasn't the safest thing for him to do either.



Speaker:
00:56:41
Yeah.



Speaker:
00:56:42
Well, and you know,



Speaker:
00:56:43
he should probably do things more broadly



Speaker:
00:56:45
and anonymously,



Speaker:
00:56:46
but that's not how he does things



Speaker:
00:56:48
because he's a complete asshole.



Speaker:
00:56:49
He likes dressing up and wearing disguises.



Speaker:
00:56:52
You know what?



Speaker:
00:56:52
I hope that they get the other side of his face,



Speaker:
00:56:54
and he looks like the Joker.



Speaker:
00:56:56
Continue.



Speaker:
00:56:57
Yeah, and the injury did give him problems for life.



Speaker:
00:57:00
Because he got kind of stabbed in the side of the head,



Speaker:
00:57:02
and he got his cheek slashed open



Speaker:
00:57:04
to where his face was flapping open,



Speaker:
00:57:06
had to have it sewed back on.



Speaker:
00:57:07
Good.



Speaker:
00:57:08
I hope it hurt.



Speaker:
00:57:09
I hope it fucking bothered him forever.



Speaker:
00:57:10
And the mutton chops helped hide the scar.



Speaker:
00:57:13
Yeah, unfortunately, you know,



Speaker:
00:57:15
he was still fucking bald as a cue.



Speaker:
00:57:18
So a woman named Ann Lohman was another target.



Speaker:
00:57:20
A woman who provided contraception



Speaker:
00:57:22
and abortion education to women



Speaker:
00:57:23
under the street name,



Speaker:
00:57:24
Madame Restelle.



Speaker:
00:57:26
Comstock had her arrested,



Speaker:
00:57:28
and the 67-year-old woman



Speaker:
00:57:29
had already done a year in jail earlier in life



Speaker:
00:57:32
and had no intentions of doing a hard time.



Speaker:
00:57:34
So she killed herself.



Speaker:
00:57:35
Yeah.



Speaker:
00:57:36
All Tony had to say?



Speaker:
00:57:38
A bloody ending to a bloody life.



Speaker:
00:57:40
Fuck him.



Speaker:
00:57:41
I hope he gets an infection,



Speaker:
00:57:45
and it bothers him a lot.



Speaker:
00:57:48
I hope it hurts.



Speaker:
00:57:49
Whatever the fuck he has,



Speaker:
00:57:50
I hope it hurts.



Speaker:
00:57:51
And it was in this episode



Speaker:
00:57:52
where the public became more aware



Speaker:
00:57:54
of Tony's methods,



Speaker:
00:57:55
in which he would write letters



Speaker:
00:57:56
and place orders under a false name



Speaker:
00:57:58
or go undercover to make a sting.



Speaker:
00:58:00
He was mocked in national newspapers relentlessly



Speaker:
00:58:03
from this point forward.



Speaker:
00:58:04
Good.



Speaker:
00:58:04
In 1879, Tony's target was a man named Ezra Haywood,



Speaker:
00:58:08
a righteous dude with a sick beard



Speaker:
00:58:10
and founder of the New England Labor Reform League,



Speaker:
00:58:13
who advocated for free contracts,



Speaker:
00:58:15
free money, free markets,



Speaker:
00:58:16
free transit, and free land.



Speaker:
00:58:18
That's a lot of free shit.



Speaker:
00:58:19
Tony charged him for mailing obscene material



Speaker:
00:58:22
in the form of a pamphlet titled,



Speaker:
00:58:23
Cupid's Yolks,



Speaker:
00:58:25
or The Binding Forces of Conjugal Life,



Speaker:
00:58:27
an essay to consider some moral



Speaker:
00:58:29
and physiological phases of love and marriage,



Speaker:
00:58:32
wherein is asserted the natural right



Speaker:
00:58:34
and necessity of sexual self-government.



Speaker:
00:58:38
For attacking traditional marriage,



Speaker:
00:58:39
Haywood was sentenced to two years



Speaker:
00:58:41
at the Norfolk County Jail doing hard labor.



Speaker:
00:58:44
Poor bastard.



Speaker:
00:58:45
Hi.



Speaker:
00:58:47
Now, Ida C. Craddock was another woman



Speaker:
00:58:49
targeted by Tony in 1902.



Speaker:
00:58:51
She was a sex educator and feminist,



Speaker:
00:58:53
who provided instructional manuals



Speaker:
00:58:55
intended for married couples,



Speaker:
00:58:56
and also an occultist associated



Speaker:
00:58:58
with the Theosophical Society.



Speaker:
00:59:00
You know, Madame Blavatsky.



Speaker:
00:59:02
That's going to a different realm altogether.



Speaker:
00:59:06
Cool.



Speaker:
00:59:06
So, when her tract,



Speaker:
00:59:08
Right Marital Living,



Speaker:
00:59:09
was printed in a Chicago medical journal,



Speaker:
00:59:11
she was arrested, pleaded guilty,



Speaker:
00:59:13
and received a suspended sentence.



Speaker:
00:59:15
Next, she was convicted in New York



Speaker:
00:59:17
for a different publication



Speaker:
00:59:18
and spent three months in the workhouse



Speaker:
00:59:20
on Blackwell Island.



Speaker:
00:59:22
I hate him so much.



Speaker:
00:59:23
Let's cross over to a different podcast.



Speaker:
00:59:25
Yeah, no kidding.



Speaker:
00:59:26
And see the Nellie Bly episode.



Speaker:
00:59:28
The moment she got out of jail,



Speaker:
00:59:29
Tony arrested her again



Speaker:
00:59:30
for violation of his precious law.



Speaker:
00:59:33
She should poison him.



Speaker:
00:59:34
Sentenced to five years



Speaker:
00:59:35
for trying to teach married couples



Speaker:
00:59:37
how to enjoy a healthy and respectful sex life,



Speaker:
00:59:39
Ida slashed her wrists



Speaker:
00:59:40
and inhaled coal gas to end her life.



Speaker:
00:59:42
Leaving behind a note that reads,



Speaker:
00:59:44
quote,



Speaker:
00:59:45
I am taking my life because a judge



Speaker:
00:59:47
at the instigation of Anthony Comstock



Speaker:
00:59:49
has declared me guilty of a crime



Speaker:
00:59:51
which I did not commit,



Speaker:
00:59:52
the circulation of,



Speaker:
00:59:53
obscene literature,



Speaker:
00:59:55
unquote.



Speaker:
00:59:56
God.



Speaker:
00:59:56
He's got a body count.



Speaker:
00:59:58
And I haven't even mentioned them all.



Speaker:
00:59:59
By this point,



Speaker:
01:00:00
I think 15 we would be up to,



Speaker:
01:00:03
or at least around that,



Speaker:
01:00:04
like over a dozen people.



Speaker:
01:00:05
I hope that there is a heaven



Speaker:
01:00:07
and I hope Jesus met him there



Speaker:
01:00:09
and said,



Speaker:
01:00:10
and wanted to explain to him in detail



Speaker:
01:00:12
exactly why he was going to hell.



Speaker:
01:00:14
And kicked him straight down.



Speaker:
01:00:14
And then kicked him right back down.



Speaker:
01:00:17
So the problem with Christian nationalists



Speaker:
01:00:19
is when you give them an inch,



Speaker:
01:00:20
they throw you in prison.



Speaker:
01:00:21
Yeah.



Speaker:
01:00:22
After finding success,



Speaker:
01:00:23
going after newspapers and political tracks,



Speaker:
01:00:25
Tony broadened his crusade



Speaker:
01:00:26
to censor the theater,



Speaker:
01:00:28
novels,



Speaker:
01:00:28
art,



Speaker:
01:00:29
and educational materials.



Speaker:
01:00:30
He began going after famous authors



Speaker:
01:00:32
and beloved books.



Speaker:
01:00:34
Tony even decided that certain medical textbooks



Speaker:
01:00:36
to be obscene



Speaker:
01:00:37
and should be banned nationwide



Speaker:
01:00:38
for literally just having matter of effect



Speaker:
01:00:40
medical information.



Speaker:
01:00:41
You know,



Speaker:
01:00:41
I wish to God we weren't,



Speaker:
01:00:44
this weren't anywhere relevant,



Speaker:
01:00:46
but considering yesterday,



Speaker:
01:00:47
I went to go buy To Kill a Mockingbird



Speaker:
01:00:49
for my son



Speaker:
01:00:50
and it was on the banned books list.



Speaker:
01:00:52
Of course,



Speaker:
01:00:53
when you fuck with writers,



Speaker:
01:00:55
the writers tend to fuck back.



Speaker:
01:00:56
Oh no,



Speaker:
01:00:57
see,



Speaker:
01:00:57
that's the thing.



Speaker:
01:00:58
The artsy people,



Speaker:
01:00:59
we're,



Speaker:
01:00:59
do not fire us up.



Speaker:
01:01:01
So,



Speaker:
01:01:02
from,



Speaker:
01:01:03
quoting from Smithsonian Magazine,



Speaker:
01:01:05
quote,



Speaker:
01:01:06
in 1905,



Speaker:
01:01:07
Irish playwright,



Speaker:
01:01:08
George Bernard Shaw,



Speaker:
01:01:09
popularized the term



Speaker:
01:01:10
comstockery,



Speaker:
01:01:11
defined in our last episode,



Speaker:
01:01:13
which referred to the strict censorship



Speaker:
01:01:14
of materials considered obscene.



Speaker:
01:01:16
So,



Speaker:
01:01:17
quote within the quote,



Speaker:
01:01:18
comstockery is the world's standing joke



Speaker:
01:01:20
at the expense of the United States,



Speaker:
01:01:21
wrote Shaw on the Times.



Speaker:
01:01:22
And,



Speaker:
01:01:23
in 1905,



Speaker:
01:01:25
Europe likes to hear of such things.



Speaker:
01:01:26
It confirms the deep-seated conviction



Speaker:
01:01:28
of the old world



Speaker:
01:01:29
that America is a provincial place,



Speaker:
01:01:31
a second-rate country-town civilization,



Speaker:
01:01:33
after all.



Speaker:
01:01:34
Unquote.



Speaker:
01:01:35
Yeah,



Speaker:
01:01:35
no,



Speaker:
01:01:36
we look like fucking bumpkins.



Speaker:
01:01:38
Yep.



Speaker:
01:01:39
Certainly not helping the rep.



Speaker:
01:01:40
So,



Speaker:
01:01:41
we're getting made fun of,



Speaker:
01:01:42
uh,



Speaker:
01:01:43
by George Bernard Shaw.



Speaker:
01:01:44
But,



Speaker:
01:01:45
I'm so glad that none of this is happening today.



Speaker:
01:01:48
Yeah,



Speaker:
01:01:49
the rest of the world isn't looking at us



Speaker:
01:01:50
like we're insane and stupid.



Speaker:
01:01:52
Like we're fucking,



Speaker:
01:01:52
ridiculous.



Speaker:
01:01:55
You might have heard of this one.



Speaker:
01:01:56
Margaret Sanger worked as a nurse



Speaker:
01:01:59
in some of the poorest sections of New York City.



Speaker:
01:02:01
Now,



Speaker:
01:02:01
her whole life is an interesting story.



Speaker:
01:02:03
Uh,



Speaker:
01:02:04
and this work led her to see the horrors



Speaker:
01:02:05
of unwanted pregnancies and back-alley abortions.



Speaker:
01:02:09
She was an advocate and educator for birth control



Speaker:
01:02:11
and pushed to legalize contraception



Speaker:
01:02:13
so women could decide



Speaker:
01:02:14
when and whether they wished to become pregnant.



Speaker:
01:02:18
Which,



Speaker:
01:02:18
you know,



Speaker:
01:02:19
considering Anthony Comstock



Speaker:
01:02:20
didn't want his fucking wife to die in childbirth,



Speaker:
01:02:22
you would think that he would be sympathetic to that cause.



Speaker:
01:02:26
But no.



Speaker:
01:02:26
He hates women.



Speaker:
01:02:27
He's a piece of shit.



Speaker:
01:02:28
So,



Speaker:
01:02:29
yeah,



Speaker:
01:02:29
I'm sure he went after her hard.



Speaker:
01:02:31
Well,



Speaker:
01:02:32
I mean,



Speaker:
01:02:32
you should only have sex



Speaker:
01:02:33
for the purposes of procreation.



Speaker:
01:02:35
So,



Speaker:
01:02:36
Sanger published candid columns



Speaker:
01:02:37
about relationships,



Speaker:
01:02:38
sexual intercourse,



Speaker:
01:02:39
and even masturbation.



Speaker:
01:02:40
As you can guess,



Speaker:
01:02:41
these were all totally illegal



Speaker:
01:02:43
under the Comstock Act.



Speaker:
01:02:44
Oh, yeah,



Speaker:
01:02:45
they were.



Speaker:
01:02:46
Becoming more explicitly political,



Speaker:
01:02:48
Margaret traveled to Europe



Speaker:
01:02:49
to avoid prosecution.



Speaker:
01:02:51
Since he could not get his hands on drugs,



Speaker:
01:02:52
he was forced to go to the U.S.



Speaker:
01:02:52
After Margaret,



Speaker:
01:02:53
Tony had her husband,



Speaker:
01:02:54
William,



Speaker:
01:02:54
arrested in 1915,



Speaker:
01:02:56
which really sucked



Speaker:
01:02:56
because he'd been estranged



Speaker:
01:02:57
from his wife



Speaker:
01:02:59
for like a few years



Speaker:
01:03:00
by that point.



Speaker:
01:03:00
But he still went to jail for her.



Speaker:
01:03:02
He's like,



Speaker:
01:03:03
well.



Speaker:
01:03:04
Meanwhile,



Speaker:
01:03:05
she's like



Speaker:
01:03:05
hanging out with anarchists



Speaker:
01:03:07
over in Europe.



Speaker:
01:03:08
I hope she's having a good time.



Speaker:
01:03:10
I hope she's making,



Speaker:
01:03:11
I hope she's writing



Speaker:
01:03:12
all of the masturbation pamphlets.



Speaker:
01:03:14
She gets the last laugh



Speaker:
01:03:16
because 1915



Speaker:
01:03:17
was the last year



Speaker:
01:03:18
Tony could have anyone arrested



Speaker:
01:03:19
because of a trip to San Francisco



Speaker:
01:03:21
to attend the



Speaker:
01:03:22
International



Speaker:
01:03:22
International Purity Congress.



Speaker:
01:03:24
He caught a cold on that trip



Speaker:
01:03:25
and it gave way to pneumonia



Speaker:
01:03:27
when he returned home.



Speaker:
01:03:28
And finally,



Speaker:
01:03:29
on September 21st, 1915,



Speaker:
01:03:32
Anthony Comstock



Speaker:
01:03:32
finally dropped dead



Speaker:
01:03:34
in front of an astonished doctor.



Speaker:
01:03:36
Yay!



Speaker:
01:03:37
His supporters carved



Speaker:
01:03:38
in memory of a fearless witness



Speaker:
01:03:40
on his tombstone.



Speaker:
01:03:42
As for Margaret Sanger,



Speaker:
01:03:43
you might know her



Speaker:
01:03:44
as the founder



Speaker:
01:03:45
of a little organization



Speaker:
01:03:46
called Planned Parenthood.



Speaker:
01:03:48
And she lived until 1966.



Speaker:
01:03:50
And she was fucking dope.



Speaker:
01:03:51
She was.



Speaker:
01:03:52
She's worthy of her own episode



Speaker:
01:03:54
of many books of



Speaker:
01:03:55
I'm sorry that her husband



Speaker:
01:03:57
had to go to prison.



Speaker:
01:03:59
For a little while.



Speaker:
01:04:00
For a little while.



Speaker:
01:04:01
So yeah,



Speaker:
01:04:01
Anthony Comstock



Speaker:
01:04:02
is one of those people



Speaker:
01:04:03
who was the right combination



Speaker:
01:04:05
of indoctrinated and damaged



Speaker:
01:04:06
that left him emotionally frozen



Speaker:
01:04:08
as a young man



Speaker:
01:04:09
struggling with grief



Speaker:
01:04:09
and temptation



Speaker:
01:04:10
and so unable to move past



Speaker:
01:04:12
any of it



Speaker:
01:04:12
that he instead tried to fix



Speaker:
01:04:13
the rest of us.



Speaker:
01:04:15
He was self-righteous



Speaker:
01:04:16
without humility,



Speaker:
01:04:17
judgmental and vengeful,



Speaker:
01:04:18
yet constantly anguished



Speaker:
01:04:19
and full of guilt



Speaker:
01:04:20
and self-hatred.



Speaker:
01:04:21
He's another dude



Speaker:
01:04:21
who could have used



Speaker:
01:04:22
modern medicine and therapy



Speaker:
01:04:23
but instead



Speaker:
01:04:24
projected his issues



Speaker:
01:04:25
onto everyone else



Speaker:
01:04:26
and did a lot of damage.



Speaker:
01:04:27
How you feeling about



Speaker:
01:04:28
good old Tony Comstock?



Speaker:
01:04:29
Well, I'm glad he's dead.



Speaker:
01:04:31
That's pretty much



Speaker:
01:04:32
that's where the ending.



Speaker:
01:04:35
110 years.



Speaker:
01:04:36
Yeah.



Speaker:
01:04:37
So to close out



Speaker:
01:04:38
and sum him up,



Speaker:
01:04:39
I'll quote one last time



Speaker:
01:04:41
from Roundsman of the Lord.



Speaker:
01:04:43
What was this man?



Speaker:
01:04:45
The ignorant foe of culture?



Speaker:
01:04:46
The symbol of American



Speaker:
01:04:47
provincialism and intolerance?



Speaker:
01:04:49
The cruel and fanatical bigot?



Speaker:
01:04:51
Or the defender



Speaker:
01:04:52
of little children?



Speaker:
01:04:53
The fearless witness



Speaker:
01:04:54
for the right?



Speaker:
01:04:55
God's soldier?



Speaker:
01:04:56
Perhaps he was



Speaker:
01:04:56
all these things



Speaker:
01:04:58
in that strange



Speaker:
01:04:59
fateful medley



Speaker:
01:05:00
which makes a human soul.



Speaker:
01:05:01
The record of the man,



Speaker:
01:05:02
Anthony Comstock,



Speaker:
01:05:03
is diffuse.



Speaker:
01:05:04
It sprawls amorphously



Speaker:
01:05:05
across our pages.



Speaker:
01:05:07
From this clutter



Speaker:
01:05:08
of good report and evil,



Speaker:
01:05:09
how can we select a label?



Speaker:
01:05:11
How epitomize the confusion



Speaker:
01:05:13
in a pat and simple phrase?



Speaker:
01:05:15
These biographers



Speaker:
01:05:16
turn from the task.



Speaker:
01:05:17
Perhaps concerning this man



Speaker:
01:05:19
they know too little



Speaker:
01:05:20
or too much.



Speaker:
01:05:21
Uncertain.



Speaker:
01:05:22
Unquote.



Speaker:
01:05:23
And now everyone knows



Speaker:
01:05:24
too much about Anthony Comstock.



Speaker:
01:05:27
Who is a complete weirdo



Speaker:
01:05:28
piece of shit.



Speaker:
01:05:29
Yeah.



Speaker:
01:05:30
And you know,



Speaker:
01:05:31
we wouldn't have to care about him



Speaker:
01:05:32
except that stupid law



Speaker:
01:05:34
is now being considered



Speaker:
01:05:34
a great idea again



Speaker:
01:05:36
by people who are



Speaker:
01:05:37
very quickly



Speaker:
01:05:38
making it all happen.



Speaker:
01:05:39
Yep.



Speaker:
01:05:40
Because America



Speaker:
01:05:41
is the couch now.



Speaker:
01:05:42
We're great again.



Speaker:
01:05:43
We're all gonna get fucked.



Speaker:
01:05:44
So thank you everyone



Speaker:
01:05:45
for making it through



Speaker:
01:05:47
the tale of Tony Comstock's



Speaker:
01:05:48
stupid facial hair.



Speaker:
01:05:49
And thank you to Kevin.



Speaker:
01:05:51
Always.



Speaker:
01:05:51
Always.



Speaker:
01:05:52
And Raven Sound Studios.



Speaker:
01:05:54
To get us out of here



Speaker:
01:05:55
I want to mention again



Speaker:
01:05:56
and you can go to



Speaker:
01:05:56
chainsawhistory.com



Speaker:
01:05:58
to get all of our



Speaker:
01:05:59
back catalog



Speaker:
01:06:00
and show notes



Speaker:
01:06:00
our YouTube channel



Speaker:
01:06:01
or our TikTok



Speaker:
01:06:03
for as long as that's



Speaker:
01:06:04
still in existence.



Speaker:
01:06:05
You can find those



Speaker:
01:06:06
bonus episodes



Speaker:
01:06:07
on our feed



Speaker:
01:06:08
and on the website



Speaker:
01:06:08
that include shows



Speaker:
01:06:09
like The Value Of



Speaker:
01:06:11
where Bambi reads me



Speaker:
01:06:12
children's biographies



Speaker:
01:06:13
from the 1980s.



Speaker:
01:06:14
Oh, I got one for you too.



Speaker:
01:06:16
If you want to support



Speaker:
01:06:16
the work of Margaret Sanger



Speaker:
01:06:18
and give Tony Comstock



Speaker:
01:06:18
one little fuck you



Speaker:
01:06:20
I recommend you



Speaker:
01:06:21
support Planned Parenthood.



Speaker:
01:06:22
Yes, absolutely.



Speaker:
01:06:23
Support Planned Parenthood.



Speaker:
01:06:24
It provides education



Speaker:
01:06:25
and support services



Speaker:
01:06:26
for sexual and gender



Speaker:
01:06:27
related issues.



Speaker:
01:06:28
Learn all the ways



Speaker:
01:06:29
they help men, women,



Speaker:
01:06:30
and families



Speaker:
01:06:31
and consider donating



Speaker:
01:06:31
at plannedparenthood.org.



Speaker:
01:06:33
Yep.



Speaker:
01:06:34
And they also



Speaker:
01:06:34
do mammograms



Speaker:
01:06:36
and test women



Speaker:
01:06:36
for breast cancer.



Speaker:
01:06:38
Yeah.



Speaker:
01:06:39
Yeah.



Speaker:
01:06:39
They have a whole suite



Speaker:
01:06:40
of women's health services.



Speaker:
01:06:41
Yes, they do.



Speaker:
01:06:42
And now



Speaker:
01:06:43
we can celebrate



Speaker:
01:06:45
Tony's life



Speaker:
01:06:46
by, you know,



Speaker:
01:06:47
drinking, smoking,



Speaker:
01:06:49
watching porn.



Speaker:
01:06:51
Jerking off.



Speaker:
01:06:52
enjoying life,



Speaker:
01:06:54
not going to church



Speaker:
01:06:55
and, yeah,



Speaker:
01:06:56
all the other things



Speaker:
01:06:56
he wouldn't approve of



Speaker:
01:06:57
at least while they're still legal.



Speaker:
01:06:58
I'm going to wear



Speaker:
01:06:59
a low-cut shirt



Speaker:
01:07:00
and show my titties today.



Speaker:
01:07:02
I am not.



Speaker:
01:07:05
But, yeah,



Speaker:
01:07:06
next time



Speaker:
01:07:07
we're going back



Speaker:
01:07:08
to American figures



Speaker:
01:07:11
of government



Speaker:
01:07:11
and way more



Speaker:
01:07:12
modern history.



Speaker:
01:07:13
But that'll be all.



Speaker:
01:07:14
We'll catch you later, everybody.



Speaker:
01:07:15
All right, bye.



Speaker:
01:07:22
We'll catch you later, everybody.