Changes

WEBVTT
00:00:00.017 --> 00:00:03.237
I would say I beat the shit out of Rihanna. That's what I would say.
00:00:04.017 --> 00:00:11.017
And I'm lucky as hell that most people are dumb as shit because they'd rather
00:00:11.017 --> 00:00:15.737
see some kid dance like a crackhead toddler asking for a hot Cheeto than to
00:00:15.737 --> 00:00:17.777
admit that there will never be another Michael Jackson.
00:00:19.357 --> 00:00:22.697
That's just my opinion, though. I was going to say, what up,
00:00:22.777 --> 00:00:27.657
Troy Scott's welcome to bonding, but I just couldn't let it get out of my lips.
00:00:27.657 --> 00:00:31.237
I've been doing this show for nine years.
00:00:31.497 --> 00:00:34.437
Still don't have an intro, especially now that my work wife,
00:00:34.597 --> 00:00:37.577
Tori, has left me to start her own podcast, Tori's Stupid Podcast.
00:00:37.797 --> 00:00:41.277
Please go check it out because in many ways, it's like my podcast,
00:00:41.437 --> 00:00:43.677
considering the amount of episodes that I've helped her edit.
00:00:43.857 --> 00:00:46.257
But I mean, like, it's a learning curve. Everybody out there who's going through
00:00:46.257 --> 00:00:49.177
a creative process knows it's a learning curve, and we love Tori.
00:00:49.297 --> 00:00:53.197
I hope the same people listening to this go over and listen to Tori.
00:00:53.297 --> 00:00:57.337
I heard last week was an all-time high for listeners. i got over there
00:00:57.337 --> 00:01:00.057
was two people for most of the episode which is
00:01:00.057 --> 00:01:03.077
great i love her to death shout out tori cole actually next episode
00:01:03.077 --> 00:01:05.897
she has coming out with emma willman friend of the show
00:01:05.897 --> 00:01:08.937
she'll be on the show in a couple of weeks so hit her up i can't
00:01:08.937 --> 00:01:12.537
do the backwards hat thing i feel like i'm selling kids ritalin i
00:01:12.537 --> 00:01:15.657
think kids already take ritalin but the ones with the real bad feeding problems
00:01:15.657 --> 00:01:19.657
they would buy it from a guy like me with a backwards hat dude
00:01:19.657 --> 00:01:23.877
who had like a 14 year old girlfriend did you
00:01:23.877 --> 00:01:27.837
have that in your school be like a guy he was like 24 and then this girl there's
00:01:27.837 --> 00:01:32.957
this girl in my class named jess almost said her last name just the first boob
00:01:32.957 --> 00:01:38.397
i ever touched we'll call her and i i just i thought you're so welcome to bonding
00:01:38.397 --> 00:01:43.437
i'm troy bond by the way sorry back to my uh seventh grade fab stories i just thought jess was like so,
00:01:44.057 --> 00:01:46.877
okay i'm recording good because this is gold jess.
00:01:47.967 --> 00:01:56.267
Most women in my life, up until recently, but even then, most women are out
00:01:56.267 --> 00:02:01.067
of my league because whether you want to listen to it or not,
00:02:01.367 --> 00:02:04.147
I'm going to tell you what I feel like talking about.
00:02:04.627 --> 00:02:09.727
And like that works when you have money or fame
00:02:09.727 --> 00:02:18.687
two things i have none of i have a roth ira and people recognize me as the tiktok
00:02:18.687 --> 00:02:22.627
guy on the street and not the tiktok guy as in troy bond the comedian tiktok
00:02:22.627 --> 00:02:27.447
guy they think i'm tiz my law so like it's really i don't got none of that but
00:02:27.447 --> 00:02:29.627
most women in my life now i think about it i've been out of my league,
00:02:30.407 --> 00:02:33.167
i guess it's because i'm a i'm a
00:02:33.167 --> 00:02:36.647
i almost said trendsetter but that's not true people have like bad bitches since
00:02:36.647 --> 00:02:41.107
the dawn of humanity i'm a goal setter always been someone who if i if i wanted
00:02:41.107 --> 00:02:44.527
something i was gonna get it you know i spent three months looking for this
00:02:44.527 --> 00:02:49.747
red variation that bad tour jacket i got it was it cheap no was it worth it
00:02:49.747 --> 00:02:52.467
absolutely not i am sweating,
00:02:53.047 --> 00:02:58.547
my left testic he off and but i mean it's tripper drone it's michael week welcome
00:02:58.547 --> 00:03:02.307
to bonding today's first question was michael jackson a crip we're taking calls
00:03:02.307 --> 00:03:06.787
and we have no calls beautiful okay all right moving on troy's gonna do his
00:03:06.787 --> 00:03:10.427
own independent research he's gonna cut it together make it look like.
00:03:11.580 --> 00:03:14.800
He had calls and people who gave a shit. We have questions later that we're
00:03:14.800 --> 00:03:16.620
going to go to, too. I miss doing Bonding Man.
00:03:17.620 --> 00:03:22.660
All right. So the reason there's like this, like the whole Jar Jar Binks is a Sith Lord thing.
00:03:22.820 --> 00:03:25.940
There's this conspiracy theory that Michael Jackson was secretly a pimp.
00:03:26.540 --> 00:03:29.360
I'm sorry. He's secretly a crip. That was a Chris Tucker bit.
00:03:30.080 --> 00:03:34.840
That he was secretly a crip. Now, if you go and you look up Michael Jackson,
00:03:34.940 --> 00:03:37.860
the way he make me feel, backup dancers, he's in blue.
00:03:38.660 --> 00:03:41.360
It looks to be doing the i don't know what the what the
00:03:41.360 --> 00:03:44.640
crypt sign is probably probably gonna
00:03:44.640 --> 00:03:47.400
get myself shot just for doing that in red if i
00:03:47.400 --> 00:03:50.500
come to your hometown crypts please allow me to check in and explain myself
00:03:50.500 --> 00:03:53.280
i'm really sorry i didn't mean to do that it's just the way you
00:03:53.280 --> 00:03:56.000
make me feel scared and i'm talking i should have just
00:03:56.000 --> 00:04:00.260
shut the fuck up but anyway all right let me give you some background as to
00:04:00.260 --> 00:04:05.320
why people might think that when they made beat it people forget that like and
00:04:05.320 --> 00:04:07.920
the Michael trailer just dropped this week too that's why I'm decked out you
00:04:07.920 --> 00:04:13.080
know every time we get into some new Michael news the CEO has to come out when
00:04:13.080 --> 00:04:14.460
they made the beat it video,
00:04:14.960 --> 00:04:22.180
they weren't even playing black artists on MTV and I think a lot of of the population
00:04:22.180 --> 00:04:25.480
has a hard time understanding what Michael Jackson means to black people just
00:04:25.480 --> 00:04:31.300
for the sake of what he pioneered for them and in the in the early 80s they
00:04:31.300 --> 00:04:34.800
wouldn't play music videos and Michael would be like I don't know what they're playing.
00:04:34.960 --> 00:04:37.840
Like it's a film, but like it's, it's not, it's very unusual.
00:04:37.840 --> 00:04:39.740
I don't like it. I don't like it that much.
00:04:40.040 --> 00:04:42.280
And so we get his first one.
00:04:43.016 --> 00:04:45.456
Which like he did a bunch with the Jacksons to enjoy yourself,
00:04:45.556 --> 00:04:47.676
shake your body. But those are basically just like lip sync videos.
00:04:47.796 --> 00:04:49.376
We get his first like actual video.
00:04:49.836 --> 00:04:52.236
Don't stop. Do you get enough? Which I'm sure the movie is going to go well
00:04:52.236 --> 00:04:55.256
over. And I'm doing a series called Michael and me where I'm going over every
00:04:55.256 --> 00:04:59.256
single one of his solo albums at a track by track basis. That's going to be dropping very soon.
00:04:59.556 --> 00:05:02.836
We're going to go over a lot of that too. But I'm here to address the allegations
00:05:02.836 --> 00:05:07.476
of my client, Mr. Michael Jackson, Joseph, whether or not he was a crip.
00:05:07.916 --> 00:05:10.776
When they made the beat it video, they ran out of extras because the studio
00:05:10.776 --> 00:05:13.936
didn't want to pay for it. Eddie Van Halen didn't even want to appear in the
00:05:13.936 --> 00:05:16.056
video because he didn't think Beat It was going to be a hit.
00:05:16.436 --> 00:05:18.896
And I think he got paid with like a can of Coca-Cola or something.
00:05:19.076 --> 00:05:22.536
And when they were shooting that giant garage dance sequence,
00:05:22.816 --> 00:05:28.356
they were just picking gang members off the street to come and be extras in the video.
00:05:28.496 --> 00:05:31.896
If you watch the video closely, you could see the real dancers and you could see the non-dancers.
00:05:32.616 --> 00:05:36.876
And when he went to Brazil to shoot the Brazilian version of the They Don't
00:05:36.876 --> 00:05:40.516
Care About Us video with Spike Lee, the Brazilian government said,
00:05:40.656 --> 00:05:42.436
no, we're not going to guarantee your safety.
00:05:42.616 --> 00:05:48.156
And then some fucking drug lord guaranteed his safety because that's how powerful Michael was. And...
00:05:48.984 --> 00:05:52.124
I saw an argument the other day that said, like, you know, stars aren't immortal.
00:05:52.124 --> 00:05:56.064
You can't put them above everything else. And I am a stand and I definitely
00:05:56.064 --> 00:05:58.724
have a biased argument. But, like, that was the guy.
00:05:58.924 --> 00:06:01.624
That was the. Am I showing enough chest? There we go. I just want to make sure
00:06:01.624 --> 00:06:02.804
I'm showing enough chest. There we go.
00:06:03.584 --> 00:06:08.444
There was the Super Bowl is this Sunday, right? You know who performed the first
00:06:08.444 --> 00:06:11.304
Super Bowl show? Michael Jackson. Do you know why?
00:06:11.824 --> 00:06:15.224
Because I think it was CBS or Fox.
00:06:15.984 --> 00:06:18.524
One of the channels that pretended to like black people for a minute.
00:06:19.764 --> 00:06:22.524
Whichever one in living color was on and living color would do
00:06:22.524 --> 00:06:25.604
this like spectacular halftime show up to
00:06:25.604 --> 00:06:28.364
92 and it would take away viewings from the
00:06:28.364 --> 00:06:32.404
bullshit that the nfl had on which would just be like flag twirlers
00:06:32.404 --> 00:06:35.664
and and and girls who are in color guard because they weren't pretty enough
00:06:35.664 --> 00:06:41.204
to be cheerleaders and they they they saw a decent ratings drop and so the next
00:06:41.204 --> 00:06:45.544
year the nfl went sure you know bad bunny no it wasn't hold then it was i think
00:06:45.544 --> 00:06:49.304
it was clive davis the nfl said well well, who's the biggest star on the planet?
00:06:49.424 --> 00:06:52.704
And they said, Madonna. And they said, be so fucking for real.
00:06:53.284 --> 00:06:56.844
And they said, obviously, it's Michael B. Jordan.
00:06:57.044 --> 00:07:01.424
And so they got Michael to do the halftime, and he was the first halftime show.
00:07:02.497 --> 00:07:08.017
And that was actually the first performance I ever did as a solo act in eighth
00:07:08.017 --> 00:07:10.237
grade. And I got no bitches.
00:07:10.977 --> 00:07:13.617
But it's a big Michael week. It's going to be a big Michael year,
00:07:13.897 --> 00:07:20.097
which is crazy for a man who ruled the planet for 30 years, died 16 years ago,
00:07:20.297 --> 00:07:22.697
had his loyal fans that never went anywhere.
00:07:22.877 --> 00:07:25.857
Michael Jackson is one of those like, nobody does it. You can show a picture
00:07:25.857 --> 00:07:31.037
of his face and you know, any village, any city, anywhere in the world, people know who he is.
00:07:31.317 --> 00:07:34.777
But I love the man. I studied the man. I saw a lot of myself in the man.
00:07:34.917 --> 00:07:39.397
You know, I had a black dad who was kind of heavy handed and he beat my ass into success.
00:07:39.957 --> 00:07:44.437
And he often wants me to congratulate him for it. Like, I listen to Michael
00:07:44.437 --> 00:07:46.597
music. I'm like, this motherfucker just like me.
00:07:47.077 --> 00:07:50.997
Now, if you're old like I am, you remember the seven and a half hour long Jackson's
00:07:50.997 --> 00:07:54.157
The American Dream movie from the 90s, which was incredible.
00:07:54.377 --> 00:07:57.817
Wiley Draper played adult Michael or victory tour Michael. And he was actually
00:07:57.817 --> 00:07:58.897
in the Remember the Time video.
00:07:59.557 --> 00:08:02.517
And then he died but he would have had a really promising career he
00:08:02.517 --> 00:08:05.257
was amazing the scene i remember most from that movie is
00:08:05.257 --> 00:08:08.477
when joe sends katherine out to go get some pecan
00:08:08.477 --> 00:08:11.137
ice cream and then she comes back and he's on the phone with some other bitch
00:08:11.137 --> 00:08:15.217
she just beat his ass out of the house and and that michael was a mama's boy
00:08:15.217 --> 00:08:18.177
more than anything else you gotta and we have other topics to discuss today
00:08:18.177 --> 00:08:22.217
too but god damn it let me have this all right let me have i don't even know
00:08:22.217 --> 00:08:25.917
who the fuck is playing in the super bowl this is my super bowl actually i'm
00:08:25.917 --> 00:08:27.637
not that excited for this movie to tell you the truth.
00:08:27.777 --> 00:08:29.777
I'll be honest with you. It sounds like I am because, you know,
00:08:29.857 --> 00:08:31.497
the everything about me. I'm more excited for.
00:08:32.502 --> 00:08:35.682
More Michael knowledge to be in the public eye. And I'll tell you why I'm not excited for it.
00:08:36.222 --> 00:08:41.702
Because it's being produced and profited off of by the very estate that killed him.
00:08:42.362 --> 00:08:44.022
I can't watch This Is It.
00:08:44.702 --> 00:08:49.082
It's hard. I don't know if I talked about this on the last podcast. I can't watch it.
00:08:49.162 --> 00:08:55.382
That's a man who is not even 120 pounds, signed on to do 10 shows, pay off some debts.
00:08:55.922 --> 00:08:59.142
Then they go, 10 shows? Word, we got you for 50 shows, Michael.
00:08:59.682 --> 00:09:02.622
And then he's like, I'm not ready to do 50 shows. i'm going
00:09:02.622 --> 00:09:05.422
to die lou ferrigno had to train him to get
00:09:05.422 --> 00:09:08.822
ready for those shows and then he
00:09:08.822 --> 00:09:12.742
goes because they said he wasn't ready for it and then what do they do they
00:09:12.742 --> 00:09:15.622
put out a concert movie with all the rehearsal footage so they could still make
00:09:15.622 --> 00:09:19.502
money off of his corpse that's why i won't buy that number one's vinyl and i
00:09:19.502 --> 00:09:23.262
collect all of his vinyls i won't buy that one because he's on video somewhere
00:09:23.262 --> 00:09:28.102
in a conference talking about how tommy mottola is the devil.
00:09:29.063 --> 00:09:32.543
I want to say something, but I don't want you to record. Okay,
00:09:32.623 --> 00:09:33.743
you can record if you want to.
00:09:34.223 --> 00:09:39.023
I have one more deal with Sony. It's a greatest hits deal.
00:09:39.883 --> 00:09:42.643
Joe gave me some of the best of them, but I wrote the greatest hits,
00:09:42.763 --> 00:09:46.503
and I got to give him one more song, which I already took care of already,
00:09:46.503 --> 00:09:48.363
so I guess we don't have to worry about that.
00:09:48.623 --> 00:09:53.163
And then after that album came out, the allegations the second time around hit
00:09:53.163 --> 00:09:54.903
him, and there's that thing going around.
00:09:55.063 --> 00:09:58.403
He died in 93. He closed his eyes in 2009.
00:09:59.203 --> 00:10:04.463
He died in 2005 because he really was still trying to keep going after 93.
00:10:04.903 --> 00:10:08.963
And then 2005, I think, was him realizing two things. One, wow,
00:10:09.263 --> 00:10:11.663
yeah, I maybe should have listened to the people that were around me.
00:10:11.823 --> 00:10:15.503
And two, I fucking hate everybody and I don't want to be anywhere near this
00:10:15.503 --> 00:10:17.943
planet anymore, let alone the United States.
00:10:18.023 --> 00:10:23.363
Because that prosecutor who tried to get him in 93 was the same guy who tried to get him in 2003.
00:10:23.363 --> 00:10:27.023
There was a fantastic book, book of the week I'm going to recommend to everybody,
00:10:27.203 --> 00:10:30.403
called the michael jackson conspiracy written by
00:10:30.403 --> 00:10:33.263
a journalist named aphrodite jones who was there in
00:10:33.263 --> 00:10:37.283
the courtroom in 2006 when
00:10:37.283 --> 00:10:42.043
the truck 2005 2006 when the trial was going on and she sort of realized that
00:10:42.043 --> 00:10:45.923
like the media wasn't picking up on who is innocent and who is guilty like they
00:10:45.923 --> 00:10:50.003
were they'd already they automatically went yeah he's guilty now it's just a
00:10:50.003 --> 00:10:53.343
matter how much time he's getting and she talks about sitting down with bill o'reilly.
00:10:54.404 --> 00:11:00.104
The day he died, because that was all they could get in terms of Michael Jackson adjacency.
00:11:00.664 --> 00:11:04.484
And she said when she was sitting there, she realized what she had done and
00:11:04.484 --> 00:11:08.324
then wrote this entire beautiful book called The Michael Jackson Conspiracy about that trial.
00:11:08.504 --> 00:11:11.904
And look, if you're like me and you already don't believe the allegations,
00:11:12.164 --> 00:11:14.224
here's the thing that bothers me. People ask me all the time,
00:11:14.404 --> 00:11:16.424
do you believe those Michael Jackson allegations?
00:11:16.984 --> 00:11:19.464
Brother, if I did, do you think I would still listen to them?
00:11:19.524 --> 00:11:23.904
I'm not a Drake fan. Like, I am Prince of, I don't even listen,
00:11:24.004 --> 00:11:25.584
I don't even listen to Ignition.
00:11:26.424 --> 00:11:30.204
Yeah. Even though he didn't pee on me, I don't listen to Ignition.
00:11:30.324 --> 00:11:33.564
I don't even know what Ignition sounds like. I know Remix to Ignition.
00:11:33.744 --> 00:11:37.484
I won't lie to you. I will watch every TikTok that has Trapped in the Closet
00:11:37.484 --> 00:11:40.604
on it, because that was a special moment in my childhood.
00:11:40.824 --> 00:11:45.524
Adrienne Lapalucci, incredible comic, has a really good bit where she's like,
00:11:45.524 --> 00:11:48.544
when it comes to r kelly the old stuff
00:11:48.544 --> 00:11:51.804
it's grandfathered in at this point and
00:11:51.804 --> 00:11:54.764
that's why you gotta look at it for some people i
00:11:54.764 --> 00:11:58.084
mean you can make the argument that if you don't listen to diddy's music his
00:11:58.084 --> 00:12:03.764
victims won't get paid but like if you listen to diddy's music music that diddy
00:12:03.764 --> 00:12:07.424
is solely on then there'll be more victims because they will have killed themselves
00:12:07.424 --> 00:12:12.624
so like it's a lose-lose situation new new there's new unreleased michael jackson music coming out which
00:12:12.664 --> 00:12:15.784
first i was very skeptical of because once this
00:12:15.784 --> 00:12:18.644
ai thing took off i said they're gonna start finding
00:12:18.644 --> 00:12:21.484
crates and crates and crates of just unreleased michael
00:12:21.484 --> 00:12:24.484
stuff and the stuff that's out is really good
00:12:24.484 --> 00:12:27.284
i'll tag some links in the youtube description below there's this
00:12:27.284 --> 00:12:30.424
song changes that's incredible i want
00:12:30.424 --> 00:12:32.984
that to be a theme song to something it's so good michael was one of
00:12:32.984 --> 00:12:35.864
those dudes that'd be like yeah this song is fire let's never
00:12:35.864 --> 00:12:42.424
release it but there was also a big controversy in 2010 when john branca the
00:12:42.424 --> 00:12:45.524
guy who miles teller is playing in the movie who michael fired several times
00:12:45.524 --> 00:12:47.184
but you know he gave himself a
00:12:47.184 --> 00:12:53.104
part in the movie he helped michael get the beatles uh deal in 83 and and.
00:12:54.036 --> 00:12:58.076
I read in a book once that Michael and John were having lunch and Randy Jackson
00:12:58.076 --> 00:13:01.176
came up to John. It was right during Off the Wall.
00:13:01.956 --> 00:13:04.736
Randy Jackson, Michael's brother, wanted John to represent him and John was
00:13:04.736 --> 00:13:07.456
like, what do you want me to do? And he was like, you represent my brother?
00:13:07.636 --> 00:13:08.896
Then you're going to fuck yourself then.
00:13:09.396 --> 00:13:12.156
And then Randy Jackson got shot in the ass by Tina Turner. So,
00:13:12.256 --> 00:13:13.616
like, that's a real fact. Google it.
00:13:14.396 --> 00:13:20.076
The Michael Jackson estate, do I think that they are above putting out AI content?
00:13:20.376 --> 00:13:23.496
Fuck no. You know, they're in bed with Marvel. like
00:13:23.496 --> 00:13:26.956
they put out a posthumous album in 2010 called
00:13:26.956 --> 00:13:30.016
michael i don't even think the body had been cold six months
00:13:30.016 --> 00:13:33.456
yet and like four of the songs were real bunch
00:13:33.456 --> 00:13:36.636
of them were produced by these backstabbing fucks
00:13:36.636 --> 00:13:40.916
named the casios it's a whole family who all of a sudden realized they were
00:13:40.916 --> 00:13:45.236
brainwashed after 25 years of claiming michael was their best friend and michael
00:13:45.236 --> 00:13:48.096
had sought refuge in their house because he wanted to know what a normal life
00:13:48.096 --> 00:13:50.976
had looked like and frank even wrote a book called My Friend Michael that I
00:13:50.976 --> 00:13:53.636
read cover to cover. And I'm like, wow, that was a beautiful tale.
00:13:53.756 --> 00:13:57.056
And then you're like, Wade Robson, you just wake up. Oh, yeah, I forgot I was diddled.
00:13:57.076 --> 00:14:02.556
I'm not saying can't happen, but it's a little it's a little it's a little suspicious
00:14:02.556 --> 00:14:04.216
when it happens when your money runs up.
00:14:04.356 --> 00:14:09.116
But I sell that to say and do your own research. I have. And then you'll you'll see why I'm right.
00:14:09.416 --> 00:14:13.016
I don't talk about something unless I know what I'm talking about. Not to come off as cocky.
00:14:13.116 --> 00:14:16.256
I'm just read a bunch of dr doom comic books in 2010
00:14:16.256 --> 00:14:20.636
on that michael album keep your head up monster breaking
00:14:20.636 --> 00:14:25.736
news i feel like there's one more i'm missing they were all fake songs sung
00:14:25.736 --> 00:14:30.376
by a michael jackson sound alike named jason malachi who i think is logic's
00:14:30.376 --> 00:14:35.996
cousin and then they didn't put out another album until 2014 escape which was
00:14:35.996 --> 00:14:39.716
actually good because they brought in la reed and timberland and they remixed all these songs that.
00:14:40.568 --> 00:14:43.688
If you were a deep cut Michael collector, you knew those songs,
00:14:43.868 --> 00:14:49.228
but they added the flair that you felt like Michael wanted when he was producing those tracks.
00:14:49.428 --> 00:14:51.808
And I love the originals, too. I love the naked bare bones ones.
00:14:52.048 --> 00:14:55.028
But I'll link them in the description below. And then, of course,
00:14:55.088 --> 00:14:58.428
I have Troy's weekly playlist that we're going to get to because I haven't got
00:14:58.428 --> 00:14:59.928
to show you what's been in my ears lately.
00:15:00.868 --> 00:15:04.388
You know, I was going to save that for the politics segment, but.
00:15:05.328 --> 00:15:08.528
Okay, I guess I'll do it now, man, because I don't really know that much about
00:15:08.528 --> 00:15:10.408
her, but I never really liked her.
00:15:10.568 --> 00:15:16.948
Does seem to be an epidemic of Uncle Ruckus's out there right now.
00:15:17.248 --> 00:15:20.888
Myron Gaines, Nicki Minaj, Terrence K.
00:15:21.048 --> 00:15:26.968
Williams, Joy Villa, just, oh, look at the white man. He can't do nothing wrong.
00:15:27.088 --> 00:15:29.908
Look at President Donald Trump on Epstein's Island.
00:15:30.128 --> 00:15:33.208
You know why there wasn't no niggas there? Because niggas can't swim.
00:15:34.008 --> 00:15:38.928
Oh, you look at that man, Mr. Jeffrey Epstein. How you know a man to have two
00:15:38.928 --> 00:15:41.208
E's and one name, when that nigga got three.
00:15:41.548 --> 00:15:44.868
Oh, did Lord ever make anything more beautiful than a white man?
00:15:45.468 --> 00:15:50.668
That's what Nikki sounds like when she's on stage pretending that she wasn't
00:15:50.668 --> 00:15:54.868
five years ago saying that Trump wanted to kick people like her by people like
00:15:54.868 --> 00:15:57.648
her, I mean from Trinidad and Tobago, out of the country.
00:15:57.888 --> 00:16:01.448
But they all do it for the same reason. Same reason Wayne endorsed Trump because
00:16:01.448 --> 00:16:03.328
he was facing a gun charge and he wanted a pardon.
00:16:03.548 --> 00:16:07.388
They allegedly gave Nikki a gold card, which if you don't know what a gold card
00:16:07.388 --> 00:16:11.288
is, you could pay $5 million to be a United States resident,
00:16:12.448 --> 00:16:16.788
which, I don't know if you've been outside lately, that looked a little overrated. And...
00:16:19.872 --> 00:16:23.312
When I don't think we'll ever get Nuremberg trials, like they think that's a
00:16:23.312 --> 00:16:26.392
great little fodder for for Blue Sky.
00:16:26.612 --> 00:16:31.872
But I'm noticing in real time we're giving the and I'm not trying to be holier than thou.
00:16:32.492 --> 00:16:36.372
I am a I'll be I've never hidden from it. I'm a I'm a leftist.
00:16:36.472 --> 00:16:37.992
I don't say that with a big red S on my chest.
00:16:38.132 --> 00:16:40.752
That's just who I am. I realized I was a leftist when I was a Democrat.
00:16:40.752 --> 00:16:42.452
And I was like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:16:43.132 --> 00:16:46.412
People do deserve health care. What the fuck are you talking about? That's a human right.
00:16:46.412 --> 00:16:49.732
Put a tampon in my bathroom right now who gives
00:16:49.732 --> 00:16:52.472
a fuck who's gonna use it i'll put it up my ass what
00:16:52.472 --> 00:16:55.412
are you gonna do fuck you chuck schumer call israel and
00:16:55.412 --> 00:16:58.072
ask them if it's okay for me to put a tampon in my
00:16:58.072 --> 00:17:00.772
ass that was a real clip that came out this week that
00:17:00.772 --> 00:17:03.332
i thought was hilarious chuck schumer was like i'll do for the american people
00:17:03.332 --> 00:17:07.992
what i always have stand for israel word to big bird i'm pretty sure there's
00:17:07.992 --> 00:17:11.252
a dude at the deli on 7th street around the corner from you who's been pissing
00:17:11.252 --> 00:17:15.872
himself for a week but let's make sure we get that aid to israel first wow i
00:17:15.872 --> 00:17:18.792
went So I went four different topics. I forgot what I was even angry about.
00:17:18.952 --> 00:17:24.512
I initially was angry at Nicki Minaj because the people that, you know what a token is?
00:17:24.792 --> 00:17:28.332
If you don't know what a token is, I'll explain it to you. Make me sound really
00:17:28.332 --> 00:17:29.292
condescending if you do.
00:17:30.012 --> 00:17:32.852
But Candace Owens essentially is a token, right?
00:17:33.072 --> 00:17:37.612
A token is your black friend. It's a, not even your friend. It's just a black
00:17:37.612 --> 00:17:41.032
person that you know that you bring around other white people to show that you're inclusive.
00:17:41.872 --> 00:17:47.552
And people like Candace, people like Nikki, Dr. Umar Johnson, to a lesser degree.
00:17:48.492 --> 00:17:52.792
He's more of a raccoon, I guess. He's a comedian, so it doesn't really matter.
00:17:53.732 --> 00:17:57.192
Fuck, what was I just talking about? Nobody was appointed.
00:17:59.770 --> 00:18:06.230
Mm. The thing with being, if you're asking yourself what the difference is between
00:18:06.230 --> 00:18:11.730
a Democrat and a leftist is Democrat doesn't necessarily give two shits about people.
00:18:11.850 --> 00:18:15.390
And they're the ones that I have to keep voting for every election cycle because
00:18:15.390 --> 00:18:18.850
they keep blocking the leftist from getting in. You want examples of leftist in office?
00:18:19.030 --> 00:18:22.050
AOC, once upon a time, would be considered the crown leftist.
00:18:22.530 --> 00:18:28.150
I listen to the majority report every day, which is a great leftist source to
00:18:28.150 --> 00:18:30.610
get my news from. And they're kind of funny and they're young.
00:18:30.770 --> 00:18:33.270
And because the thing is, is you watch legacy media all day.
00:18:33.350 --> 00:18:35.970
Here's what happens. And this is nothing new. I feel like Jim Brewer.
00:18:36.250 --> 00:18:39.790
When you watch legacy media all day long, here's what happens.
00:18:40.090 --> 00:18:43.710
Breaking news. We're going to bring in five people to talk about what just happened.
00:18:44.270 --> 00:18:46.430
None of them know shit, by the way. They're going to speculate.
00:18:46.610 --> 00:18:49.990
And then not only are they going to speculate, they're going to spitball off of the speculations.
00:18:50.230 --> 00:18:53.110
And then we sell viagra for three and a half minutes so like
00:18:53.110 --> 00:18:56.390
i'm not saying every every form of entertainment needs
00:18:56.390 --> 00:18:59.130
advertising not this one yet because nobody really gives
00:18:59.130 --> 00:19:04.330
a shit but there is you could just see like how they weren't talking about the
00:19:04.330 --> 00:19:09.090
epstein stuff and legacy media this week compared to like how all these that's
00:19:09.090 --> 00:19:12.690
why i like these these these people can call themselves investigative journalists
00:19:12.690 --> 00:19:17.350
when really they're just like they have a youtube channel with a couple hundred subscribers.
00:19:17.610 --> 00:19:20.470
Those people cause the, there's, there's great people like that.
00:19:20.590 --> 00:19:24.070
And I'm not just even talking about the ones who align with me politically, but I mean them first.
00:19:25.770 --> 00:19:30.810
Big stuff starts in small rooms, but you can't just call yourself an investigative
00:19:30.810 --> 00:19:33.790
journalist and walk into a daycare.
00:19:35.070 --> 00:19:39.210
Bottom line, look, I, I, I don't think I made one clear, coherent point on the
00:19:39.210 --> 00:19:41.650
Nicki Minaj thing, other than the fact that the reason why she had the best
00:19:41.650 --> 00:19:45.730
version on verse on monsters because she surrounds herself with them and it
00:19:45.730 --> 00:19:48.930
should come as no surprise that that's what these people believe in.
00:19:49.050 --> 00:19:52.250
After a certain point in Hollywood, you make enough money, you become a Republican.
00:19:52.250 --> 00:19:55.650
It literally happens. I can't think of one person who it hasn't happened to.
00:19:57.142 --> 00:20:01.782
Bernie Sanders, you want me to bring up Hassan Piker's name on this stream?
00:20:03.482 --> 00:20:06.742
Listen, there's a shot caller over there the next time you want to speak up.
00:20:07.642 --> 00:20:08.862
I know some of those words.
00:20:09.802 --> 00:20:13.802
Yeah, there's race traders too. People call my dad a race trader all the time.
00:20:14.782 --> 00:20:19.882
Yeah, it is. Two different colors, but sometimes transactional.
00:20:20.242 --> 00:20:25.182
Anyway, the point I was trying to make is, and this is, man,
00:20:25.302 --> 00:20:27.662
if you're listening, I know there's about 12 of you out there who are.
00:20:28.182 --> 00:20:31.282
Nicki Minaj's husband is a pedophile, right?
00:20:31.942 --> 00:20:37.402
Is that? Let me just get my facts straight here. Nicki Minaj booming system.
00:20:39.804 --> 00:20:44.544
Deal Hughley defends trans kids. That is not what I looked up.
00:20:46.324 --> 00:20:50.464
Yes. Okay. Nicki Minaj's husband, Kenneth Perry, is a registered sex offender.
00:20:50.604 --> 00:20:57.464
Those starships are meant to fly 500 feet away from a school zone.
00:20:58.124 --> 00:21:04.444
Yeah. Okay. And then I think her brother is also, right? Her brother is too.
00:21:04.444 --> 00:21:05.844
Her brother's a sex offender.
00:21:06.444 --> 00:21:10.304
They both are, I'm pretty sure. I didn't put a space in.
00:21:11.284 --> 00:21:15.484
The 13-year-old stepdaughter of Nicki Minaj's brother. Oh, Kate,
00:21:15.484 --> 00:21:17.144
I'm not going to finish that sentence.
00:21:17.864 --> 00:21:23.164
Yeah, so the point I was trying to make is, none of my friends are weird around women.
00:21:23.844 --> 00:21:26.744
And I thought that that was an important thing to talk about this week because
00:21:26.744 --> 00:21:31.584
there's this whole discourse online about why women should go for nerdy guys.
00:21:31.584 --> 00:21:35.084
And I know a few women who would say that you're fantasizing something.
00:21:36.404 --> 00:21:39.504
It's a lot. A lot of Boba Fett helmets after a while.
00:21:40.244 --> 00:21:46.784
But like, there's nothing more heartbreaking other than the weirdo behavior toward women itself.
00:21:47.004 --> 00:21:50.244
There's nothing more heartbreaking than when you got to stop talking to a friend
00:21:50.244 --> 00:21:52.624
of yours because they're scaring the hoes.
00:21:52.964 --> 00:21:57.784
And to quote Cat Williams, I'm only calling you hoes because I don't know your
00:21:57.784 --> 00:22:01.984
names individually, bitch. but like they're,
00:22:03.246 --> 00:22:06.526
You are the median of your five friends. You can look at your friends and go,
00:22:06.686 --> 00:22:08.366
okay, I know where you're going to be in five years.
00:22:09.266 --> 00:22:12.546
None of my friends have sex. I host a comic book podcast with one of them.
00:22:12.666 --> 00:22:14.106
The other one is running for Congress.
00:22:15.266 --> 00:22:19.066
And well, let's just say I've had the same bottle of Vaseline next to my toothpaste
00:22:19.066 --> 00:22:22.846
since, oh, well, I have to say when John Kerry was running for president.
00:22:23.626 --> 00:22:27.186
More of the story is don't be weird around women. How do you talk to women?
00:22:27.366 --> 00:22:30.306
I don't know. Who's your role model in your life? It depends on what you're trying to say to him.
00:22:30.546 --> 00:22:32.966
I remember when the Me Too movement happened, And some comment came up to me.
00:22:33.066 --> 00:22:36.466
He was like, man, can't even talk to women no more.
00:22:36.606 --> 00:22:40.106
I'm like, what were you saying to them? You try hello?
00:22:40.986 --> 00:22:44.906
Not just like, hey, shut up, bitch, get in the car. Like, I don't know if you
00:22:44.906 --> 00:22:46.146
guys know this. Women are people.
00:22:47.206 --> 00:22:49.646
Yeah, I think I learned that when I was like 14.
00:22:51.336 --> 00:22:55.956
Yeah, it's it's they have feelings. They they they don't have any record of
00:22:55.956 --> 00:22:59.836
the presidency, but it's because we don't view them as people and because we
00:22:59.836 --> 00:23:01.156
keep running terrible candidates.
00:23:01.576 --> 00:23:05.216
And that's why I think Marjorie Taylor Greene should be the next one to run for office.
00:23:06.436 --> 00:23:10.396
Sometimes I write notes of stuff I want to ramble on and I have no idea what it is that I wrote.
00:23:10.516 --> 00:23:14.836
It says if you're 35 and got ops, you wear a suit to the club.
00:23:16.276 --> 00:23:19.436
Clavicular. That's who that was about. he's 35.
00:23:20.896 --> 00:23:24.556
Tate sisters. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that was kind of my point about like,
00:23:25.156 --> 00:23:27.916
I'd started secret identity in a certain point of view to try to correct.
00:23:28.016 --> 00:23:30.976
Cause men don't have, if you don't have a father in your life,
00:23:31.096 --> 00:23:33.756
that's a good father and you don't have a good role model.
00:23:33.996 --> 00:23:36.976
You're going to gravitate toward the Tates and toward the Trumps and toward
00:23:36.976 --> 00:23:40.136
the people who are telling you women are the problem and that you shouldn't shower.
00:23:40.436 --> 00:23:43.496
And, and you take pussy advice from gay ass Nick Fuentes.
00:23:44.116 --> 00:23:49.156
And, and I don't mean gay derogatorily. I'm only saying it that way because he's deeply closeted.
00:23:49.376 --> 00:23:55.836
He wants to be a cat furry boy so badly. And those people get red when they
00:23:55.836 --> 00:24:03.076
get angry because their whole identity is attached to them closeting the parts
00:24:03.076 --> 00:24:05.076
of themselves that they wish they could be the most.
00:24:05.156 --> 00:24:09.416
So when they see me in this fly-ass, bad-tort jacket, they're like,
00:24:09.516 --> 00:24:12.696
damn, look at this guy. Somebody commented on my thing earlier today.
00:24:12.816 --> 00:24:14.956
They were like, Troy Bond is kind of like the logic of comedy.
00:24:14.956 --> 00:24:18.936
It's appealing at first and then it just gets kind of annoying and I was I wasn't even mad I was like.
00:24:19.927 --> 00:24:22.727
That's a fair point, but you could also just not said anything.
00:24:22.967 --> 00:24:25.127
But I'm glad that he said it because it's in my head.
00:24:25.247 --> 00:24:28.207
And then I put on this jacket and I shot two Star Wars sketches.
00:24:28.407 --> 00:24:33.087
So like not to be that you're not going to have haters, but like you got a bunch
00:24:33.087 --> 00:24:35.727
of ants around here telling bees how to make honey.
00:24:36.187 --> 00:24:39.107
Black man said that to me on Saturday and my life has not changed since.
00:24:39.467 --> 00:24:41.767
And when we left the conversation, it was at a show. He said,
00:24:42.467 --> 00:24:48.287
listen, my brother, the longer you stay on the wrong train, more expensive it's going to be to get home.
00:24:48.407 --> 00:24:52.467
And then he just walked the fuck away. That was the best advice I've had in
00:24:52.467 --> 00:24:54.367
my 30s, and I'm only in my first one.
00:24:54.507 --> 00:24:57.367
I turned 30 a couple of weeks ago. Thank you for the birthday wishes,
00:24:57.367 --> 00:25:00.127
everyone in this studio.
00:25:00.847 --> 00:25:05.027
Everyone keeps leading up to 30 is bullshit. If you're born in 96 like me and
00:25:05.027 --> 00:25:09.367
you're scared about it, everybody comes up to older people, usually people in their 50s.
00:25:10.007 --> 00:25:13.287
My mom, Mrs. Puff, actually came through. She pissed.
00:25:13.807 --> 00:25:18.747
My people in their 40s are a lot cooler about it. My mom was pretty chill about it.
00:25:19.347 --> 00:25:23.007
Maybe as people are getting older they realize they're dying they're not bullying
00:25:23.007 --> 00:25:26.787
people about being 30 anymore but like i feel the same as i did at 29 except
00:25:26.787 --> 00:25:30.087
a year older i feel like i can't make,
00:25:30.627 --> 00:25:34.347
reckless decisions that i mean i feel like uh marlon brandon godfather women
00:25:34.347 --> 00:25:39.547
and children they could be careless michael you can't be careless you can't
00:25:39.547 --> 00:25:45.627
spend 82 dollars in two days on food delivery michael you can't do that work
00:25:45.627 --> 00:25:48.127
my whole life to try not have to pay a service charge,
00:25:48.747 --> 00:25:51.487
like the whole he's just a kid excuse is gone like i
00:25:51.487 --> 00:25:55.207
gotta be a man he said wearing this belt buckled up jacket i'll
00:25:55.207 --> 00:25:58.767
tell you the biggest thing for me is like thinking about my parents were 25
00:25:58.767 --> 00:26:03.707
when they had me and i'm 30 now so as far as i know beat their high score i
00:26:03.707 --> 00:26:08.327
can't imagine raising kids right now at my age i mean i'd probably do a really
00:26:08.327 --> 00:26:12.127
great job at it but like i just could not imagine doing it and.
00:26:13.536 --> 00:26:16.396
That's usually when people say something like, you know what,
00:26:16.496 --> 00:26:19.016
my parents tried their hardest, I'm gonna cut them some slack.
00:26:19.156 --> 00:26:20.976
And often cases, that is right.
00:26:21.216 --> 00:26:28.676
And it could also be, it also could be true that I was riding back from this
00:26:28.676 --> 00:26:32.816
producer's house in LA one night and I told him all the stuff that I had gone
00:26:32.816 --> 00:26:34.376
through. My dad wasn't a monster.
00:26:34.496 --> 00:26:37.576
He was just the last of the heavy-handed generation.
00:26:38.176 --> 00:26:40.696
And I got a bad, because I learned how to fuck with him at a certain age too.
00:26:40.856 --> 00:26:43.996
So like a lot of it was not my fault, But I definitely was like,
00:26:44.076 --> 00:26:46.836
yeah, I bet you I could crack your blood pressure because I did it one time
00:26:46.836 --> 00:26:48.696
and I wanted to see if it was a superpower I had.
00:26:48.976 --> 00:26:56.016
But I mean, I got cracked. I got cracked off pause. I got my shit rocked often.
00:26:56.356 --> 00:27:00.276
And I said that to this producer and I was like, yeah, you know what?
00:27:00.996 --> 00:27:03.956
I'm not scared of anything in this business because nothing's as scary as he
00:27:03.956 --> 00:27:05.236
was to me when I was growing up.
00:27:05.636 --> 00:27:09.676
And he was like, yeah, but imagine if you got hugged. And then I had shit to
00:27:09.676 --> 00:27:11.836
say. I was quiet the entire time.
00:27:12.656 --> 00:27:16.896
And would I have been funnier? I don't know. But that's what I had to work with.
00:27:17.076 --> 00:27:21.736
And as I'm getting older, I'm noticing my parents being not my parents,
00:27:21.876 --> 00:27:25.836
just people who didn't pull out and loved hanging out with each other, but didn't really.
00:27:27.116 --> 00:27:31.696
They liked each other they just you know what the thing is your partner will
00:27:31.696 --> 00:27:35.896
leave you months in advance and if you don't start paying attention to those
00:27:35.896 --> 00:27:39.016
signs and you think you're just winning arguments and getting to play playstation
00:27:39.016 --> 00:27:43.016
and don't even check her location when she goes out,
00:27:44.076 --> 00:27:47.616
might as well pull up a cuck chair my brother okay what else do we have on the
00:27:47.616 --> 00:27:53.636
show today 35 oh okay that's good all right see that video trump shitting himself
00:27:53.636 --> 00:27:57.436
which one i know He definitely wears diapers.
00:27:58.925 --> 00:28:02.585
Which as a senior citizen is his right, as any citizen in this country,
00:28:02.745 --> 00:28:04.725
it's your right to wear a diaper.
00:28:05.405 --> 00:28:08.385
I'm wearing a pull-up right now. Doesn't even fit.
00:28:08.685 --> 00:28:12.365
Just bring my voice up an octave. I might go sing at the Philharmonic later.
00:28:12.705 --> 00:28:13.625
I don't even know what they sing there.
00:28:14.085 --> 00:28:18.365
That was a bad bit. It's my first week back, and Tory's not here to not add anything.
00:28:19.765 --> 00:28:23.025
Yeah, I think that's the best for politics there. Trump shat himself.
00:28:23.265 --> 00:28:26.345
What does that mean for the country? Okay, for me, it means three things.
00:28:26.345 --> 00:28:29.065
One we all it's like the bill
00:28:29.065 --> 00:28:32.145
clinton blowjob thing which ended up
00:28:32.145 --> 00:28:35.185
being a euphemism allegedly that's what i would have said but
00:28:35.185 --> 00:28:38.245
like we so much horrendous shit happens that
00:28:38.245 --> 00:28:42.045
we just completely move on that last batch of no-no
00:28:42.045 --> 00:28:47.485
files that came out should have made americans up in arms and i'm not calling
00:28:47.485 --> 00:28:50.345
for violence i'm saying in other countries that's how they handle that shit
00:28:50.345 --> 00:28:55.085
because you guys act like protecting kids is your number one priority when it's
00:28:55.085 --> 00:28:59.525
really not it's just the most moral thing you could do.
00:28:59.845 --> 00:29:01.705
So by anyone attacking you.
00:29:02.707 --> 00:29:05.427
Your bullshit underlying message of protecting the
00:29:05.427 --> 00:29:08.607
children once really it's to brainwash them and to ruin their
00:29:08.607 --> 00:29:11.367
children and their children's children and not just the men but
00:29:11.367 --> 00:29:14.747
the women and the children's children too they're they're god
00:29:14.747 --> 00:29:17.867
my god sometimes i get myself so fucking ramped
00:29:17.867 --> 00:29:20.807
up i i lose what i was talking about but oh
00:29:20.807 --> 00:29:23.787
oh okay how that relates to him shitting himself
00:29:23.787 --> 00:29:26.467
so much happens consistently and we
00:29:26.467 --> 00:29:29.207
just have to take it in and even when you like try to show your friend
00:29:29.207 --> 00:29:32.087
like a news story you're like hey did you see this thing where trump just straight
00:29:32.087 --> 00:29:35.707
up said the n-word nah man i didn't let me watch oh that's crazy and you talk
00:29:35.707 --> 00:29:39.027
about it for 20 minutes and then it's over like i'm addicted to the 24-hour
00:29:39.027 --> 00:29:42.427
news cycle but that's because i'm a comedian and i be running out of material
00:29:42.427 --> 00:29:46.327
a lot because i burned through a lot of shit and it's also a funny world we
00:29:46.327 --> 00:29:49.727
live in you can't be one of those people that says i'm not political because
00:29:49.727 --> 00:29:51.607
that tells me that i'm not,
00:29:52.107 --> 00:29:56.047
i'm not even gonna insult your intelligence because you insulted your own when
00:29:56.047 --> 00:29:57.027
you said I'm not political.
00:29:57.447 --> 00:30:03.727
A different phrase you might want to say is I'm afraid of standing by my opinion
00:30:03.727 --> 00:30:04.627
and getting the backlash.
00:30:05.067 --> 00:30:09.347
So I'm just going to say I want to play both sides because Michael Jordan taught
00:30:09.347 --> 00:30:10.967
me Republicans buy sneakers, too.
00:30:11.307 --> 00:30:13.407
I would respect you more if you said that.
00:30:13.807 --> 00:30:16.847
Right? My tricks don't work on me. I'm a comedian.
00:30:17.827 --> 00:30:21.707
I'm not political. OK, Jelly Roll, you have that picture of you hugging Kristi
00:30:21.707 --> 00:30:25.847
Noem probably right after she shot her dog. The alleged sober.
00:30:26.447 --> 00:30:31.787
Jelly Roll, who won a country album after he did the Culture Vulture Pipeline,
00:30:32.587 --> 00:30:35.807
you know, post Malone, Miley Cyrus, Dale did it. Miley went back to rock, though, so...
00:30:37.311 --> 00:30:40.191
Know it's black history month so i'm going to be very protective over my black people
00:30:40.191 --> 00:30:42.991
speaking of which because it's black history month i would
00:30:42.991 --> 00:30:45.611
like to highlight a very important scene one of
00:30:45.611 --> 00:30:48.411
the greatest black characters of all time a man
00:30:48.411 --> 00:30:51.651
who goes by the name of lando calrissian now
00:30:51.651 --> 00:30:54.471
if you don't know too much about lando every week on the show
00:30:54.471 --> 00:30:57.411
we're going to be highlighting clip from a movie but this
00:30:57.411 --> 00:31:00.171
movie is my favorite movie and let me tell you
00:31:00.171 --> 00:31:04.771
chewbacca billy d is my favorite out there so let
00:31:04.771 --> 00:31:07.831
me set up the clip we're gonna go through the clip actually a han
00:31:07.831 --> 00:31:11.551
solo has been running from the empire because
00:31:11.551 --> 00:31:15.951
they want to turn him into an icicle and he runs out of options and he goes
00:31:15.951 --> 00:31:20.931
oh yeah you know i got i got a black friend yeah his name is lando cadillac
00:31:20.931 --> 00:31:26.211
and leia's like you trust him and he's like no he's got no love for not stealing
00:31:26.211 --> 00:31:30.111
my bike i'll tell you that So they go to Lando's Cloud City,
00:31:30.171 --> 00:31:31.451
where he's the administrator.
00:31:31.811 --> 00:31:34.971
And the last time Han and Lando saw each other, Han stole Lando's ship.
00:31:35.131 --> 00:31:38.291
And I say steal because he cheated in a game of sabacc, which is a card game.
00:31:38.511 --> 00:31:41.791
I'm already losing the women on this. Trust me, it's only going to be three more minute segment.
00:31:42.011 --> 00:31:44.511
I want to go through this just scene by scene and talk about it.
00:31:44.611 --> 00:31:48.371
And if you like when I talk about Star Wars, don't worry, it's completely separated
00:31:48.371 --> 00:31:50.571
into a whole other project now called Certain Point of View.
00:31:50.711 --> 00:31:52.111
You can check out the link in the description.
00:31:52.351 --> 00:31:55.771
I'm trying to keep bonding for everybody. but this is one of the most important
00:31:55.771 --> 00:31:58.551
American films and it's my favorite movie and you're just going to sit back
00:31:58.551 --> 00:32:01.411
and watch me react to it. I don't really give a good goddamn what you have to say.
00:32:01.531 --> 00:32:04.791
I do. Please like, comment, and share and rate the show. It helps us out so much.
00:32:05.751 --> 00:32:07.571
So this minute and a half clip I'm about to play you.
00:32:08.693 --> 00:32:16.553
Lando's been very hospitable to Han and Leia and Chewbacca while the Empire's been on their case.
00:32:17.053 --> 00:32:25.253
And then Lando is, as my grandfather would say, the type of nigga to step over a nigga to get to a nigga.
00:32:26.753 --> 00:32:28.793
And what Lando's basically doing
00:32:28.793 --> 00:32:32.773
here is he cut a secret deal with the Empire to keep his people safe.
00:32:32.773 --> 00:32:35.853
Because you know when you cut deals with authoritarian dictators uh
00:32:35.853 --> 00:32:38.853
or whatever the fuck vaders i don't even think he classifies as a dictator
00:32:38.853 --> 00:32:41.713
he like genghis khan but if genghis khan
00:32:41.713 --> 00:32:45.313
was a linebacker disabled war veteran so
00:32:45.313 --> 00:32:48.053
all right let's start from the beginning let's break down what's happening in the scene from the
00:32:48.053 --> 00:32:51.013
beginning so right off the bat he's going since we're
00:32:51.013 --> 00:32:55.473
a small operation we're not into the uh jurisdiction of
00:32:55.473 --> 00:32:58.513
the empire you're part of the mining guild then right
00:32:58.513 --> 00:33:01.933
there right there okay leia is a
00:33:01.933 --> 00:33:04.933
rebel she's a rebel leader she's been in the imperial center
00:33:04.933 --> 00:33:07.673
her whole life and she goes oh you're in the mining guild and lando goes
00:33:07.673 --> 00:33:11.273
oh oh oh no not actually uh our operation
00:33:11.273 --> 00:33:14.653
is small enough not to gain any attention which
00:33:14.653 --> 00:33:17.493
is advantageous because we'd be selling a lot of weed out
00:33:17.493 --> 00:33:20.573
of here and then han
00:33:20.573 --> 00:33:24.133
being the drug trafficker humans uh human trafficker
00:33:24.133 --> 00:33:26.893
smuggler he was goes aren't you afraid the empire is going to find out
00:33:26.893 --> 00:33:29.993
about this operation shut you down and then
00:33:29.993 --> 00:33:34.533
Chewbacca starts to smell it he goes but he doesn't say anything because Han
00:33:34.533 --> 00:33:37.993
told him to stop doing that when he's around black people and then Lando goes
00:33:37.993 --> 00:33:42.193
after Han says aren't you worried the empire's gonna find you he goes oh that
00:33:42.193 --> 00:33:45.293
looms like a shadow over everything we built here but things have developed
00:33:45.293 --> 00:33:48.673
that have ensured security now if I'm Han Solo right here at this part.
00:33:49.726 --> 00:33:55.786
I'm thinking, okay, you get new cameras. Did you get armed guards? What's happening?
00:33:57.346 --> 00:34:00.546
Reinforce windows. It's the Empire, you know? Like, how are you going to,
00:34:00.886 --> 00:34:03.466
how have you ensured security with the Empire?
00:34:03.926 --> 00:34:07.026
I've just made a deal that'll keep the Empire out of here forever.
00:34:07.226 --> 00:34:09.846
You what? Hold on. Wait, hold up. Hold up. Hold up. Don't open that window yet.
00:34:09.906 --> 00:34:11.906
One second. One second. One second. One second. One second. One second.
00:34:12.126 --> 00:34:15.186
Yep. See, there you go. Chewie can smell it. And then door opens.
00:34:15.346 --> 00:34:18.426
And then I've always wanted to know how long Darth Vader was sitting there.
00:34:19.106 --> 00:34:22.046
As the door opens not only is he sitting there boba fett's
00:34:22.046 --> 00:34:24.746
behind the corner and vader the entire time she's like
00:34:24.746 --> 00:34:28.126
not yet fit because anakin's dramatic no this
00:34:28.126 --> 00:34:33.506
is not just a dinner it is a performance and then han sees him doesn't wait
00:34:33.506 --> 00:34:38.086
because han with his lady when you're with your lady you can't be no bitch you
00:34:38.086 --> 00:34:41.266
could pull out your firearm and just start shooting at the ops it doesn't matter
00:34:41.266 --> 00:34:44.846
if you're at the airport or not maybe it does i don't know the law but he just immediately,
00:34:45.046 --> 00:34:48.106
Han, blickety black, black, black, black, fucking up Vader's gloves,
00:34:48.306 --> 00:34:51.126
and then he takes that shit from him, and he hits him with the coolest line
00:34:51.126 --> 00:34:54.626
ever, oh my god, I love, this is probably my favorite Darth Vader line,
00:34:55.206 --> 00:34:58.126
we would be honored if you would sit in the cock chair,
00:34:58.726 --> 00:35:02.506
and he's, there's food on the table, someone made this, Boba Fett comes out
00:35:02.506 --> 00:35:03.846
with his little spats on,
00:35:04.306 --> 00:35:08.526
and then he's got the masked federal agents behind him,
00:35:08.606 --> 00:35:12.206
who don't have to show any accountability, and then right there you got Reverend
00:35:12.206 --> 00:35:15.826
Al Sharpton and Calrissian who sold out his own people saying they arrived right
00:35:15.826 --> 00:35:21.146
before you did I had no choice I'm sorry Han goes I'm sorry too,
00:35:21.826 --> 00:35:25.766
we're trusting a darky they cut that part out but it's in the special edition
00:35:25.766 --> 00:35:29.166
you just got to watch it and then Chewy's looking around being like did we just
00:35:29.166 --> 00:35:34.246
get caught did we just motherfucker I had been pissing in the same wall for
00:35:34.246 --> 00:35:38.086
three weeks and we got caught going to a goddamn hometown buffet Okay.
00:35:39.301 --> 00:35:42.461
See a parody of that on certain point of view coming up not our best first
00:35:42.461 --> 00:35:45.901
start off to clip of the week but you know roy bond
00:35:45.901 --> 00:35:50.321
is a he's a trial and error and this one is full of errors okay what else we
00:35:50.321 --> 00:35:54.621
got here oh movie of the week i wanted to recommend to everybody it is a brilliant
00:35:54.621 --> 00:35:58.661
film kickstarter film oh i want to thank everybody who came out to the shows
00:35:58.661 --> 00:36:03.041
in uh tempe arizona god that was such an incredible weekend man shout out just
00:36:03.041 --> 00:36:05.781
uh to t.kingsby shout out to alex gorge,
00:36:06.381 --> 00:36:10.221
Man, that was just, I have to not be on the road for three months and I won't
00:36:10.221 --> 00:36:15.801
be on for another three months, March 20th and 21st and somewhere in Ohio.
00:36:16.281 --> 00:36:19.961
Please go to my website and check it out. It sounds like it's my fault that
00:36:19.961 --> 00:36:22.361
I don't know where it is, but I promise you it's not.
00:36:22.721 --> 00:36:27.141
I think my career is just over. So please support the other podcasts as well
00:36:27.141 --> 00:36:30.961
because we, otherwise that scroll that pays for my fentanyl habit is,
00:36:31.201 --> 00:36:33.541
well, it's going to leave me on the side of the road with Andy Dick.
00:36:33.541 --> 00:36:36.841
Tempe was amazing, beautiful weather, incredible people.
00:36:38.301 --> 00:36:41.501
The people are so friendly down there that when they come up to you and they
00:36:41.501 --> 00:36:43.721
try to start a conversation, you think you're about to get robbed.
00:36:44.301 --> 00:36:47.621
But it was just nice to be down there and not see Cary Lake. And Atlanta was...
00:36:49.141 --> 00:36:51.941
Interesting. I love the people in Atlanta. I got a lot of friends down there.
00:36:52.061 --> 00:36:55.281
Shout out to my boy Marcus, my boy Jimmy, all the guys down at Hidden Village,
00:36:55.381 --> 00:36:56.841
the comedy kaijus. I love them.
00:36:57.141 --> 00:37:00.921
The hustle down in Atlanta is so, so enamored with it.
00:37:01.001 --> 00:37:06.601
I think about the, I sound like a white African studies professor or Patrick Bateman.
00:37:06.801 --> 00:37:09.701
I go back to the 1993 Source Awards where,
00:37:10.741 --> 00:37:13.541
Biggie Smalls and Tupac were having an East Coast,
00:37:13.681 --> 00:37:17.441
West Coast beef and Shook Knight gets on stage and goes are you tired of having
00:37:17.441 --> 00:37:21.401
your dancer all around in the video well then come on over to death row records
00:37:21.401 --> 00:37:25.841
and a moment of racial unity when he did bring the crowd together as andre 3000
00:37:25.841 --> 00:37:31.381
got on stage and said the south got something to say too and that thing was hey.
00:37:32.821 --> 00:37:36.801
And the south like still and the way i look at it they're still trying to get there,
00:37:37.441 --> 00:37:40.461
people don't recognize especially atlanta how
00:37:40.461 --> 00:37:43.461
interesting of a place that is man like i love it i
00:37:43.461 --> 00:37:46.121
love the people i love there was a black dude who picked me up in
00:37:46.121 --> 00:37:48.841
a christmas hat the last time i was down there do you know how much a
00:37:48.841 --> 00:37:51.741
black man needs to love christmas to wear a
00:37:51.741 --> 00:37:54.381
christmas hat and to play christmas music and to tell me to get in
00:37:54.381 --> 00:37:57.221
the holiday spirit i don't know if it's because my black dad has
00:37:57.221 --> 00:38:00.501
hated christmas the entire time i've been alive but
00:38:00.501 --> 00:38:04.041
it generally doesn't seem like something black people celebrate
00:38:04.041 --> 00:38:08.561
i don't know i was only they celebrate it they're not putting antlers on the
00:38:08.561 --> 00:38:13.301
front of their saturn to do it but i mean that guy gave me my phone back when
00:38:13.301 --> 00:38:18.781
i lost it in his car a year ago which never happens in an uber and it was really
00:38:18.781 --> 00:38:21.741
big help to me but i guess not big enough for me to remember his name i'm such
00:38:21.741 --> 00:38:23.341
a fucking dick jesus christ,
00:38:24.461 --> 00:38:28.321
but for a while there's not gonna you know road stuff i'm sure will pop up like
00:38:28.321 --> 00:38:34.201
pregnancy scare or zit i got written such beautiful cards they made me cry and
00:38:34.201 --> 00:38:37.541
i needed to read them before i get into questions and everything i'll let you
00:38:37.541 --> 00:38:40.141
i mean i wasn't going to talk about this but okay i'm going to talk about it
00:38:40.141 --> 00:38:43.961
anyway i've been trying to bring bonding back for a couple of weeks.
00:38:45.099 --> 00:38:52.619
A month actually but a month ago a friend of mine who i loved very deeply took her own life,
00:38:53.319 --> 00:38:58.659
she was young 30 years old had the whole rest of her life ahead of her and she
00:38:58.659 --> 00:39:03.319
was one of those people that i would call when i was feeling like that and you
00:39:03.319 --> 00:39:08.079
know it was it's at first the difficult part of the transition the transition
00:39:08.079 --> 00:39:11.839
was to not be able to do that and i did the voicemail thing.
00:39:12.019 --> 00:39:14.859
We call the voicemail and you hear it. And it's not even her voice.
00:39:15.399 --> 00:39:20.699
And yeah, I don't know what part of the grieving process I'm in.
00:39:21.099 --> 00:39:25.659
I'm not in denial. I've accepted it. It's just been a pain never goes away.
00:39:25.759 --> 00:39:28.079
You just make room for it. And suffering is a choice.
00:39:28.199 --> 00:39:32.079
And I'm choosing not to suffer. And I want to honor my friend's life.
00:39:32.199 --> 00:39:39.319
But it's been very, very difficult for me to want to touch anyone else's life
00:39:39.319 --> 00:39:44.499
because I have this weird thing in my brain that tells me that everything is my fault.
00:39:44.559 --> 00:39:47.419
So I just assume I'm a black hole and then I don't want to be around anyone.
00:39:47.599 --> 00:39:50.759
It's like Luke and Last Jedi. I'm drinking green titty milk because I don't want to hurt anybody.
00:39:51.659 --> 00:39:58.579
And the road shows that I did in January in Tempe and in Atlanta,
00:39:58.859 --> 00:40:02.379
I didn't anything anybody cared about me anymore to be honest with you those shows
00:40:02.379 --> 00:40:05.279
made me go okay i'm kicking all three podcasts back into gear
00:40:05.279 --> 00:40:08.139
and you're getting stand-up clips from me all year around because that's my
00:40:08.139 --> 00:40:12.419
purpose and i'm living in total clarity of it my purpose is to entertain and
00:40:12.419 --> 00:40:14.959
i'm going to entertain you motherfuckers or i'm going to make you leave hate
00:40:14.959 --> 00:40:18.999
comics apple watch is telling me to stand up it's probably right so i just i
00:40:18.999 --> 00:40:24.679
do want to say rest in peace to my my my god to my rest in peace to tara o'connor
00:40:24.679 --> 00:40:27.879
we're gone way too soon and i should be here talking shit with you about.
00:40:29.139 --> 00:40:32.199
Worst thing you ever did to me was make me live the rest of my life without you here.
00:40:32.659 --> 00:40:37.459
But I promise to, what do people say? I promise to always remember you.
00:40:37.639 --> 00:40:39.619
It's not an option. You're with me all the time.
00:40:40.859 --> 00:40:43.199
We're doing this thing on the podcast. We'll get to it at the end.
00:40:43.439 --> 00:40:45.959
There's a Denzel Washington movie called The Preacher's Wife,
00:40:45.959 --> 00:40:48.499
and he says, and I don't believe in God.
00:40:48.939 --> 00:40:52.279
Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side.
00:40:53.079 --> 00:40:56.379
And you, that's going to distract me. Don't write that shit.
00:40:56.999 --> 00:41:01.099
There was a line in the preacher's wife where denzel he plays a angel who comes
00:41:01.099 --> 00:41:05.699
down and he's talking to some woman who just lost somebody and he said when
00:41:05.699 --> 00:41:07.979
god and whatever you want god to mean,
00:41:08.679 --> 00:41:12.079
believe that shit i'm an atheist but i'm not a rub
00:41:12.079 --> 00:41:15.179
it in your face atheist i they do that enough
00:41:15.179 --> 00:41:19.179
they just sit around and listen to atheist talk shows being like nope but
00:41:19.179 --> 00:41:22.139
denzel said something that always resonated with me in that movie
00:41:22.139 --> 00:41:24.919
where he said when god takes someone away from you they leave you
00:41:24.919 --> 00:41:27.579
with the strongest memories of that person as long as you can
00:41:27.579 --> 00:41:31.079
remember them that person never goes away and you
00:41:31.079 --> 00:41:34.079
know the last time i saw tara was at a comedy
00:41:34.079 --> 00:41:37.439
club that i work at pretty frequently and every time i look at that chair i
00:41:37.439 --> 00:41:41.899
think about her and she was the first friend i made when i moved to the city
00:41:41.899 --> 00:41:46.339
and was one of those friends that saw through you and saw you and over who you
00:41:46.339 --> 00:41:52.599
really are and and showed you genuine love and the fact that i wasn't able to,
00:41:53.219 --> 00:41:56.779
and it's not something I would have been able to but the fact that.
00:41:57.819 --> 00:42:02.479
Nobody could take her hurt away is what lives with me all the time but I also
00:42:02.479 --> 00:42:06.619
hope wherever she is she's not in the pain that she was anymore,
00:42:07.639 --> 00:42:11.359
and I hate doing this on podcasts because it brings the mood down I hope you're
00:42:11.359 --> 00:42:14.979
not driving into work at the mortuary when you're hearing this but check on
00:42:14.979 --> 00:42:20.199
your friends check on your family not even if they're acting crazy not even
00:42:20.199 --> 00:42:21.959
if they're just buying rope in bulk Thank you.
00:42:22.702 --> 00:42:25.922
Up the phone call him i screened six calls from my dad today so maybe don't
00:42:25.922 --> 00:42:30.162
take all that advice from me but like you know your friends your friends you
00:42:30.162 --> 00:42:30.962
could be there for your friends
00:42:31.362 --> 00:42:34.002
okay two more things we're gonna go over troy's weekly playlist and then
00:42:34.002 --> 00:42:37.702
we're gonna get to some questions here we go okay we
00:42:37.702 --> 00:42:41.382
haven't done weekly obsessions in a minute it's linked below this
00:42:41.382 --> 00:42:44.542
is 21 songs that i have had back and just stuck
00:42:44.542 --> 00:42:47.422
either stuck in my head or i've been completely obsessed with some of them are repeats
00:42:47.422 --> 00:42:50.782
i try not to put repeats on these episodes but it's
00:42:50.782 --> 00:42:53.662
honestly also been very long since we did this so if
00:42:53.662 --> 00:42:56.742
you want to follow along get on spotify troy bond's weekly
00:42:56.742 --> 00:43:00.762
playlist pass me the aux cord i'll get you a good commute to work thinking about
00:43:00.762 --> 00:43:03.982
you whitney houston i bet you guys don't even know that song whitney was one
00:43:03.982 --> 00:43:08.542
of the best singers on the planet girl could not dance to save her life which
00:43:08.542 --> 00:43:11.982
is ironic because she wrote one of the best dance songs of all time but it's
00:43:11.982 --> 00:43:16.442
just so percussive and then there's a harmony in the middle It was just like,
00:43:16.722 --> 00:43:18.822
maybe you're not intoxicated,
00:43:19.222 --> 00:43:20.842
mama, I don't think I want you.
00:43:21.542 --> 00:43:24.342
All these songs are always about when they're laying in bed with the one who
00:43:24.342 --> 00:43:28.122
just spent their last $7 on them, but they're thinking about some corny dude.
00:43:28.542 --> 00:43:33.222
Word Up by Cameo. You can't miss it. I was listening to the Korn version all
00:43:33.222 --> 00:43:34.802
week, so I had to throw in this one.
00:43:35.462 --> 00:43:39.302
Say, Say, Say by Paul McCarty and Michael Jackson. I was hanging out with my brother Logan.
00:43:39.942 --> 00:43:45.302
He loves the Beatles. I love Prince. So, I mean, Michael. So obviously,
00:43:45.662 --> 00:43:47.142
that's a perfect mix for us.
00:43:47.482 --> 00:43:50.422
Latoya Jackson's in that video, and so is Paul McCartney's wife.
00:43:50.542 --> 00:43:52.342
I think the one with the one leg. I forget.
00:43:53.922 --> 00:43:57.942
If there's anything wrong with that then this one is a little tricky one it's
00:43:57.942 --> 00:44:03.682
the glamorous life and if anyone here over 40 is going by sheila e no but you
00:44:03.682 --> 00:44:07.622
knew that already prince wrote that shit you see what prince was brilliant at
00:44:07.622 --> 00:44:11.022
is he created his own ops right like yeah.
00:44:12.822 --> 00:44:17.162
More's day and who they did jungle love i forget what the name of their group
00:44:17.162 --> 00:44:21.142
was but prince created them he was he was a master and prince would write music
00:44:21.142 --> 00:44:25.442
for people and then just hand it over to him and then you'd hear Prince do his
00:44:25.442 --> 00:44:26.682
version of it and you're like, damn,
00:44:26.782 --> 00:44:29.862
why did you ever get that away? There's another great Prince song called I Need a Man.
00:44:30.422 --> 00:44:32.962
If you get a chance to listen, I think it was written for Whitney and then he
00:44:32.962 --> 00:44:36.042
was like, nah, I'm just going to hold on to this myself. Thank you very much.
00:44:36.962 --> 00:44:41.222
Also, I saw you played my song in Stranger Things. I would have never approved
00:44:41.222 --> 00:44:44.042
that. Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain Prince speaking.
00:44:44.682 --> 00:44:47.482
I want you to kick that Will Byers off the plane. That's right,
00:44:47.562 --> 00:44:51.362
I was self-hating as well. But I love Prince. That's my probably number three.
00:44:52.462 --> 00:44:56.042
Okay this is the very millennial of me but this was the biggest most technological
00:44:56.042 --> 00:44:59.502
video when i was a kid and we couldn't figure out how it was done but uh it's
00:44:59.502 --> 00:45:03.642
jerry mcquay virtual insanity i think that song might be about eugenics i'm
00:45:03.642 --> 00:45:05.322
not sure every time i hear it i'm like.
00:45:06.602 --> 00:45:17.042
But it it's not ai not every child every mother could change the eyes of her child's child,
00:45:17.582 --> 00:45:23.622
that ain't the way today well that's what makes it yesterday i think we need a new religion,
00:45:24.282 --> 00:45:28.242
that makes sense that it'd be about ai though yeah as
00:45:28.242 --> 00:45:31.122
he's doing one of the most technological advanced things in a video of its
00:45:31.122 --> 00:45:34.042
time all i do
00:45:34.042 --> 00:45:38.362
by stevie wonder and if you listen to the chorus michael jackson is in it i'm
00:45:38.362 --> 00:45:42.402
about to put you on to something see see you just getting into Michael you you
00:45:42.402 --> 00:45:48.902
new to this you ain't true to this here we go all right ready listen hold on
00:45:48.902 --> 00:45:52.042
I don't want to get copyright stricken come on Stevie come,
00:45:53.487 --> 00:45:54.207
Listen to Michael.
00:46:02.407 --> 00:46:04.587
Goddamn. I'm probably going to get a strike for that one, but I don't care.
00:46:04.967 --> 00:46:08.647
Speaking of black people music, I know you watched the Grammys.
00:46:09.327 --> 00:46:12.607
Luther Vandross was one I grew up on because my uncle is bisexual and he smoked crack.
00:46:13.027 --> 00:46:15.387
One don't really have to do a lot with the other, but, you know,
00:46:15.427 --> 00:46:17.247
I smoked crack with him and I listened to music with him.
00:46:17.607 --> 00:46:20.607
And we would listen to Luther. And he would always, he had this thing where
00:46:20.607 --> 00:46:23.147
he'd tell me every celebrity was gay. He told me Luther was gay.
00:46:23.307 --> 00:46:26.587
He told me Magic Johnson was gay. He told me Dwayne from What's Happening is gay.
00:46:26.787 --> 00:46:29.547
Everybody was gay. Everybody's gay with you, Tony.
00:46:30.607 --> 00:46:35.047
But it turned out, I mean, black folks knew Luther was gay. They just didn't
00:46:35.047 --> 00:46:38.447
give a shit for one of the very rare times in history.
00:46:39.187 --> 00:46:44.767
And next time you are listening, just let me. I'm going to keep it 100% funky with you. Ready?
00:46:47.607 --> 00:46:53.087
Hold on, hold on. You got to stop it right there. what the god that just made
00:46:53.087 --> 00:46:56.707
you get took i just took a shit fate just hold on listen to that again.
00:47:05.746 --> 00:47:10.366
Damn! Virtual insanity? Sorry, I was having a Luther moment.
00:47:11.106 --> 00:47:16.026
A critique about the future driven by technology? We don't have to worry about
00:47:16.026 --> 00:47:18.906
that. Marge, my electric car will make my Pop-Tart.
00:47:20.246 --> 00:47:24.086
Consumerism, eh? The Simpsons are going to Costco!
00:47:25.226 --> 00:47:28.226
Mommy, you can't go there anymore after what you did to that chicken bake!
00:47:28.406 --> 00:47:30.226
That chicken bake had it coming.
00:47:31.106 --> 00:47:34.206
Where human reaction is replaced by digital artificial realities leading
00:47:34.206 --> 00:47:37.166
to a profound disconnection from the natural world can a robot
00:47:37.166 --> 00:47:40.566
draw a symphony it can now not
00:47:40.566 --> 00:47:43.306
a good one oh this is a good gem that i don't
00:47:43.306 --> 00:47:46.366
think a lot of people know this one of my favorite isley brothers songs because isley
00:47:46.366 --> 00:47:50.586
brothers always making music about getting cheetah you're contagious touch
00:47:50.586 --> 00:47:53.526
me baby r kelly's in
00:47:53.526 --> 00:47:56.486
my bed but cynthia erivo before she
00:47:56.486 --> 00:47:59.626
was whatever she is what's their name alphabet that
00:47:59.626 --> 00:48:02.506
alphabet alphabet i sang wicked one year
00:48:02.506 --> 00:48:04.986
in choir in high school and i wish i didn't just say that sentence out loud
00:48:04.986 --> 00:48:07.506
but look at me i wasn't a football player she did a cover of this whole heart
00:48:07.506 --> 00:48:11.366
of mine which is one of my favorite songs it's about the the the hook and it
00:48:11.366 --> 00:48:15.166
is if you leave me a hundred times a hundred times i'll take you back that's
00:48:15.166 --> 00:48:18.766
a song for people with no self-esteem cool it now i've been seeing so many videos
00:48:18.766 --> 00:48:21.866
of bobby brown on tiktok and i'm not gonna say shit,
00:48:22.666 --> 00:48:26.886
i'm a cool it now i think the brother has been throwing up did he beat the shit
00:48:26.886 --> 00:48:32.466
out of whitney Houston yes I think Whitney got a few licks in as well but that's
00:48:32.466 --> 00:48:37.206
not to justify it that's to say she at least was able to defend herself and.
00:48:37.935 --> 00:48:42.515
Lifelong substance issues. Whitney finally kicks him out. There's a great reality
00:48:42.515 --> 00:48:45.175
series called Being Bobby Brown, and it looks pretty easy.
00:48:45.435 --> 00:48:49.635
Loses his wife and his daughter, or his ex-wife and his daughter the same exact
00:48:49.635 --> 00:48:51.855
way. Clive Davis. I mean, drowning.
00:48:52.395 --> 00:48:57.435
And you know what? That's Bobby's prerogative, and I'm just happy he's still with us.
00:48:57.515 --> 00:49:00.855
It's just like watching the Steve Harvey convention with all the members in
00:49:00.855 --> 00:49:02.035
New Edition on stage together.
00:49:02.235 --> 00:49:05.815
Like, it's not even poison anymore. It's just, it's Bengay.
00:49:05.815 --> 00:49:09.035
Never trust a big walker and a
00:49:09.035 --> 00:49:12.375
smile because that bitch got dentures i landed
00:49:12.375 --> 00:49:15.515
on my feet on that one okay love galore
00:49:15.515 --> 00:49:18.955
travis scott says i listened to music from 15 years
00:49:18.955 --> 00:49:22.595
ago i listened to what the kids listen to don't say shit to me about this because
00:49:22.595 --> 00:49:26.595
this is a bop and and and with nelly in it is even better his girlfriend by
00:49:26.595 --> 00:49:31.495
in sync featuring nelly and the neptunes one of the greatest in sync songs i
00:49:31.495 --> 00:49:36.775
think the greatest in sync song yeah i can't put one above it They did one with Black.
00:49:37.055 --> 00:49:41.915
Oh, baby, give it all to me. But Timberlake wasn't in it, but I think Fatone
00:49:41.915 --> 00:49:44.135
had that line. Baby, what's the deal?
00:49:44.675 --> 00:49:48.595
Is it my Tim's, my jeans, my thug appeal?
00:49:49.315 --> 00:49:53.395
Yeah, Joey, you are thugging as a motherfucker. Anyway, the rest of these songs,
00:49:53.535 --> 00:49:56.055
we got about 21 of them. They could be found on Troy's weekly playlist.
00:49:56.235 --> 00:49:58.355
Let's get into questions from the Troy Scouts.
00:49:59.295 --> 00:50:00.995
Did you have... You're going to say something?
00:50:04.818 --> 00:50:08.238
Okay have you heard the mj leaks thoughts yes
00:50:08.238 --> 00:50:13.338
i have i think they're real and what
00:50:13.338 --> 00:50:16.378
i think is going to happen is the estate is going to start releasing a
00:50:16.378 --> 00:50:19.498
whole bunch of shit after the movie comes out because the movie is going to be separated into
00:50:19.498 --> 00:50:22.438
two parts because they were it was going to be one big movie
00:50:22.438 --> 00:50:25.598
and then they were shooting the stuff that happened with jordan
00:50:25.598 --> 00:50:28.818
chandler in 93 with the first set of allegations and then they didn't
00:50:28.818 --> 00:50:31.678
realize that there was a clause in the lawsuit at the time
00:50:31.678 --> 00:50:34.498
that said that if any dramatization of a
00:50:34.498 --> 00:50:37.238
michael jackson movie was to ever be made they could not
00:50:37.238 --> 00:50:40.238
include this part the geordie chandler part which
00:50:40.238 --> 00:50:42.978
to quote alfred pennyworth eventually of course they
00:50:42.978 --> 00:50:45.998
did so they had to scrap that
00:50:45.998 --> 00:50:48.778
part and i think they're going to end
00:50:48.778 --> 00:50:51.678
the movie with man in the mirror at the bad tour and open
00:50:51.678 --> 00:50:54.838
it with him performing jam at the dangerous tour then
00:50:54.838 --> 00:50:57.878
maybe we'll see him in a rehearsal then it'll cut to uh
00:50:57.878 --> 00:51:00.678
the allegations but my thoughts about the leaked
00:51:00.678 --> 00:51:03.538
songs is they all should be out there
00:51:03.538 --> 00:51:06.278
i don't well i know why the estate is sitting on them because they
00:51:06.278 --> 00:51:09.098
want their money but like prince has enough music in his vault
00:51:09.098 --> 00:51:14.318
that he is we're never we're never going to hear all of prince's music michael
00:51:14.318 --> 00:51:19.758
was not the same music maker as prince and there is no reason why they shouldn't
00:51:19.758 --> 00:51:25.378
do what they did in 2014 with the escape album and repurpose all of these songs
00:51:25.378 --> 00:51:28.138
and put them out as, because that album fucking slapped.
00:51:29.437 --> 00:51:33.017
I get it. You know, like I'm a big Star Wars fan and I've come to learn that Disney hates money.
00:51:33.997 --> 00:51:38.577
When will you come to Diva? When will you come to Scotland? Whenever they invite
00:51:38.577 --> 00:51:40.877
me. I can't even get to Scarsdale right now, baby.
00:51:41.457 --> 00:51:46.097
I recently discovered Marilyn Moonlight. Moonlight. Are you familiar with her?
00:51:46.217 --> 00:51:47.857
I'm not. She sounds like a porn star.
00:51:48.137 --> 00:51:51.537
When am I coming to Boston? I was just there last year. I love Boston.
00:51:52.137 --> 00:51:55.037
Ask not what your Boston can do for you, but what you could do for your boston
00:51:55.037 --> 00:51:57.937
i love boston i think next comedy shop is one
00:51:57.937 --> 00:52:00.937
boston comedy club is one i've been to providence i love
00:52:00.937 --> 00:52:04.017
i love i'm a new englander so like why wouldn't
00:52:04.017 --> 00:52:07.297
i go to boston will i fill you up well
00:52:07.297 --> 00:52:11.237
i was gonna start saying people's names before the questions but i'm not gonna
00:52:11.237 --> 00:52:15.497
i have no idea who that is that's maryland that has here maryland moonlight
00:52:15.497 --> 00:52:19.757
has a picture she kind of looks like uh if someone smushed cloak and dagger
00:52:19.757 --> 00:52:24.257
put together what erica bob doing her tall head Yeah, this is what happens if
00:52:24.257 --> 00:52:25.577
you want to be part of her apple tree.
00:52:26.037 --> 00:52:30.097
So she's DC, I'm assuming. That makes sense. She's probably going to do some
00:52:30.097 --> 00:52:31.277
dumbass shit with Zatanna.
00:52:32.217 --> 00:52:35.037
Ricky asks, how do you feel being back on that stage in Tempe?
00:52:35.137 --> 00:52:38.877
It's amazing because I didn't think anyone was going to be there.
00:52:39.017 --> 00:52:42.197
And my favorite place to be on the planet is on stage.
00:52:42.517 --> 00:52:46.637
It's terrifying, that moment when your foot goes from the ground to the stage.
00:52:46.837 --> 00:52:48.477
I liken it to free-falling.
00:52:49.917 --> 00:52:52.797
Probably the most terrifying moment of my life every single time it happens
00:52:52.797 --> 00:52:55.477
and i'll never i was gonna say i'll
00:52:55.477 --> 00:52:58.857
never share that with anybody but i guess i just did i love
00:52:58.857 --> 00:53:02.137
when you see me on stage you're not seeing a character
00:53:02.137 --> 00:53:05.217
you're seeing me get to be me
00:53:05.217 --> 00:53:08.057
and i get to be me all the time but i
00:53:08.057 --> 00:53:10.917
miss the people more than anything else like i love my
00:53:10.917 --> 00:53:14.457
supporters i love i love to tour i love
00:53:14.457 --> 00:53:17.397
getting to go out and see whether it's 12 people
00:53:17.397 --> 00:53:21.237
or whether it's 13 people like going
00:53:21.237 --> 00:53:24.257
out there seeing that many people drove out to come see me i'm going
00:53:24.257 --> 00:53:27.137
to be doing this for the rest of my life and you never have to worry about me losing
00:53:27.137 --> 00:53:30.297
ambition because i ain't going a goddamn nowhere and
00:53:30.297 --> 00:53:33.117
as long as you let me keep getting on stage i will keep getting on
00:53:33.117 --> 00:53:36.157
stage and i will not make any comments about any high profile
00:53:36.157 --> 00:53:39.637
podcaster deaths in the near future if you
00:53:39.637 --> 00:53:43.317
could live in any country not named usa or
00:53:43.317 --> 00:53:45.997
canada what would it be i have to pick one of
00:53:45.997 --> 00:53:50.297
the ones i went to i've been to london amsterdam
00:53:50.297 --> 00:53:57.197
belfast and ireland and the food sucked everywhere except belfast but they'd
00:53:57.197 --> 00:54:01.637
be fighting and they fight rough but they're very friendly i did a bb so you
00:54:01.637 --> 00:54:06.137
see bbc show out there you see even my gay ass mouth couldn't get that out i did a bbc out.
00:54:07.657 --> 00:54:10.837
Japan looks cool, but kind of racist.
00:54:12.567 --> 00:54:16.747
Hmm. I guess I'd have to be English speaking because I'm way too old for that shit now.
00:54:17.947 --> 00:54:21.967
You know, probably go to Greenland just to be like, see, it's not that hard, Trump.
00:54:22.907 --> 00:54:28.227
Oh, damn, brother, you asked a lot of questions. OK, how could we rewrite Superman with no son?
00:54:29.307 --> 00:54:33.267
So it's even more capitalist. What was it that you said? Change the ending.
00:54:33.707 --> 00:54:36.547
And I'm not going to spoil it because we're going on Secret Identity in two
00:54:36.547 --> 00:54:37.267
weeks. We're reading that.
00:54:37.427 --> 00:54:40.987
So if you watch Secret Identity, get into start reading Superman,
00:54:41.127 --> 00:54:42.487
the Red Sons, one of the best books that they read.
00:54:42.567 --> 00:54:46.287
There or i think there's a movie on hbo too it's really good this person
00:54:46.287 --> 00:54:49.727
wrote who is it is it a friend of mine who is it is it my brother lyrics
00:54:49.727 --> 00:54:52.607
to a michael song and that is actually a lot of people don't know a
00:54:52.607 --> 00:54:55.287
distracted jermaine jackson have you
00:54:55.287 --> 00:54:58.267
realized the depth of your power yet you're more than just only
00:54:58.267 --> 00:55:01.147
a comic yeah you're right i'm barely
00:55:01.147 --> 00:55:04.067
that now too i don't think about things like that because they
00:55:04.067 --> 00:55:07.207
don't exist in my mind i am there to the
00:55:07.207 --> 00:55:09.987
more i start thinking about that the less funny and entertaining i'm
00:55:09.987 --> 00:55:12.907
gonna be i'm there to put on a show or
00:55:12.907 --> 00:55:15.927
to be interesting or to and the
00:55:15.927 --> 00:55:20.547
second i'm i i make my act about my act it's why like i'm stopping talking about
00:55:20.547 --> 00:55:25.747
the charlie kurt stuff like i said what i had to say i'm over it he's dead let's
00:55:25.747 --> 00:55:30.047
move on like erica certainly did why can't we but thank you for saying that
00:55:30.047 --> 00:55:33.927
i don't feel important but you make me feel important if that makes any sense.
00:55:35.928 --> 00:55:40.108
Doesn't know how does it feel to know the love
00:55:40.108 --> 00:55:43.228
never went away but grew over time
00:55:43.228 --> 00:55:45.988
all right i'm done answering your questions ricky you just be taking
00:55:45.988 --> 00:55:50.108
acid and asking me 50 questions at once that shit was good that hit me right
00:55:50.108 --> 00:55:54.828
in my clitoris man i'm writing a short story on substack and i'd love for you
00:55:54.828 --> 00:56:00.848
to read it and tell me your opinions send it over to bondingpod at gmail.com
00:56:00.848 --> 00:56:05.688
i will read it and i will give you your opinions or i will put it through chat gpt and make it sound,
00:56:06.148 --> 00:56:09.268
like I did it. Best tits I've ever seen.
00:56:12.328 --> 00:56:16.668
Okay. And it's only circumstantial because it was the first time I'd ever seen
00:56:16.668 --> 00:56:21.608
them, I think, but it was the first time I masturbated when I watched Mary Carey
00:56:21.608 --> 00:56:24.188
and Stormy Daniels on Ditsy Dykes volume six.
00:56:24.668 --> 00:56:27.728
I just couldn't believe that you could do all that with those. And
00:56:27.728 --> 00:56:32.308
I masturbated and I told myself I was never going to do it again and then 10
00:56:32.308 --> 00:56:38.048
minutes later the nudist episode of family guy came on and they were i i immediately
00:56:38.048 --> 00:56:41.928
was masturbating again i used to put on condoms to masturbate i don't know why
00:56:41.928 --> 00:56:46.088
i did that my parents never taught me shit about sex and if you come to my shows
00:56:46.088 --> 00:56:47.488
i got a whole great bit about that,
00:56:48.208 --> 00:56:53.608
suffering from imposter syndrome might succumb to the dark side i fear i've lost myself oh my boy,
00:56:54.308 --> 00:56:58.928
okay all right how do we want to do this here can you grab my yoda puppet it's
00:56:58.928 --> 00:57:04.648
on the dresser out there no i want the yoda puppet because he's falling to the
00:57:04.648 --> 00:57:09.868
dark side and i care a lot about this guy it should be right on that drawer.
00:57:11.523 --> 00:57:16.383
You put together yeah no okay
00:57:16.383 --> 00:57:19.203
i'll come back to that one can we
00:57:19.203 --> 00:57:21.943
exchange numbers no i'm sorry i was told that
00:57:21.943 --> 00:57:30.023
is a security risk but let's stay in touch on discord okay ah lost you think
00:57:30.023 --> 00:57:38.283
you are but lost you are not hmm imposter syndrome a clever trick from the dark
00:57:38.283 --> 00:57:40.043
side whisper to you it does,
00:57:40.963 --> 00:57:42.903
Belong you do not, hmm?
00:57:43.503 --> 00:57:46.663
But ask yourself, you must. If
00:57:46.663 --> 00:57:51.003
truly did not belong, why would the force travel itself to test you, hmm?
00:57:51.863 --> 00:57:55.423
Up here, doubt does, only when growth is nearby.
00:57:56.083 --> 00:58:02.263
Before this, certain you were, certain, because smaller you were, hmm?
00:58:03.063 --> 00:58:05.183
Ambition growing it is, hmm?
00:58:07.040 --> 00:58:14.960
Judge me by my size, do you? A peer doubt does, but only when growth nearby is.
00:58:15.260 --> 00:58:19.600
A peer doubt does, but only when nearby growth is.
00:58:21.400 --> 00:58:23.220
Now, I'm losing it.
00:58:26.260 --> 00:58:34.500
Now, expanded you have become, and the mind tries to run you to a shape you
00:58:34.500 --> 00:58:37.540
have outgrown. Fear the dark side you have.
00:58:37.800 --> 00:58:40.180
Good. Is fear.
00:58:42.300 --> 00:58:48.080
Light side. Fear it is. Fall to darkness one does not by feeling lost.
00:58:48.660 --> 00:58:52.260
Fall one does by pretending one is not afraid.
00:58:53.220 --> 00:58:54.840
Lost yourself you think you have.
00:58:57.160 --> 00:59:04.780
No, master bad boy. Lost yourself you have not. The self you miss cannot walk where you now stand.
00:59:05.740 --> 00:59:13.820
Grieve it you may but return to it you must not with much pain much clinging
00:59:13.820 --> 00:59:16.440
comes did any of that make sense.
00:59:18.257 --> 00:59:21.957
I'm using a Buddhist doctrine thing. Okay, all right. Yeah, yeah,
00:59:21.957 --> 00:59:23.437
yeah. I know I'm going to close this. You're right. You're right.
00:59:24.217 --> 00:59:28.637
The self you miss cannot walk where you now stand.
00:59:29.037 --> 00:59:32.997
Grieve it, you may, but return to it you must not.
00:59:33.737 --> 00:59:39.537
Much pain comes from clinging. Clinging to certainty, to identity.
00:59:40.197 --> 00:59:43.197
Clinging to the idea that you were ever finished becoming.
00:59:43.977 --> 00:59:50.197
A dark side promises. No confusion. No doubt. Only control.
00:59:50.897 --> 00:59:56.957
Control? Real peace is that? Control? Fear wearing an armor, that is.
00:59:57.757 --> 01:00:03.097
A light side. Harder things to sit with not knowing. Move forward without proof.
01:00:03.377 --> 01:00:05.697
Trust the force. Even quiet it is.
01:00:06.237 --> 01:00:09.737
If lost, practice this I give you.
01:00:10.417 --> 01:00:17.817
Instead of asking, who was I? Ask instead, what feels honest now?
01:00:18.257 --> 01:00:21.737
Oh small acts
01:00:21.737 --> 01:00:29.117
choose not destiny not legacy one honest step and remember important this is
01:00:29.117 --> 01:00:37.777
you are not failing the path the path is reshaping you good advice yoda oh consent
01:00:37.777 --> 01:00:40.977
of that i did not let's see we got a few more questions.
01:00:43.057 --> 01:00:50.617
Favorite animated show as a kid oh man all right i'm gonna give you five jimmy
01:00:50.617 --> 01:00:53.697
neutron boy genius gotta be up there simpsons.
01:00:56.797 --> 01:01:05.397
Fairly odd parents cat dog rugrats i got one more oh batman the animated series
01:01:05.397 --> 01:01:09.857
and thank you for that batgirl it's in could you hand me that Batgirl right behind you?
01:01:11.406 --> 01:01:14.046
That question gave it to me and she doesn't like her spot being blown up and
01:01:14.046 --> 01:01:16.806
she wrote me a beautiful letter about it and i just want to say i'm not
01:01:16.806 --> 01:01:19.586
going to say your name but thank you very much to the person who sent me this
01:01:19.586 --> 01:01:22.706
beautiful bat girl and one more in the back i love
01:01:22.706 --> 01:01:25.586
that it says spectrum of the bat that's a batman who
01:01:25.586 --> 01:01:28.646
shows up to punch the riddler exactly 17 times every
01:01:28.646 --> 01:01:35.906
time he has to get a trophy yoda or grogu man fuck grogu if grogu was in my
01:01:35.906 --> 01:01:40.466
house i would put his ass in a blender blend that shit up real the only redeeming
01:01:40.466 --> 01:01:45.146
quality of grogu is besides the plot to sell disney learned a long time ago
01:01:45.146 --> 01:01:47.706
if they make a baby version of an animal people are gonna buy toys of it.
01:01:49.027 --> 01:01:51.887
Cool thing about Grogu was that Kellen Beck was the one who saved him,
01:01:52.047 --> 01:01:54.907
who was the guy who was in the motion capture suit for Jar Jar.
01:01:55.087 --> 01:01:57.807
And that was a really cool moment in Mandalorian season three when he came in
01:01:57.807 --> 01:01:59.067
to save him with the duels and everything.
01:01:59.267 --> 01:02:03.847
I just don't care because we have 30 years between Return of the Jedi and Force
01:02:03.847 --> 01:02:08.567
Awakens and they seem to be doing this Mandalorian and Grogu and Spike TV movie
01:02:08.567 --> 01:02:12.727
that nobody really asked for with Jeremy Allen White as Rod of the Hut and Mebo
01:02:12.727 --> 01:02:14.107
from the Clone Wars as the villain.
01:02:14.667 --> 01:02:17.847
I had to look at what your question was because as I was going on one of my
01:02:17.847 --> 01:02:22.187
Star Wars runs. Yoda or Grogu? Yaddle. How about that? Please stick to...
01:02:22.727 --> 01:02:26.387
Pick to have only one stay. DC Comics, Marvel, or Michael Jackson?
01:02:26.527 --> 01:02:29.347
Michael Jackson. I almost bought both of those conglomerates.
01:02:29.787 --> 01:02:33.047
Not a question, but thank you for using your platform for good. Thank you.
01:02:33.727 --> 01:02:39.087
I don't know that I'm doing that, but I am just talking my shit and trying not to hurt anybody.
01:02:39.507 --> 01:02:43.707
Have I ever read Hellboy? Not read Hellboy. Heard the Ron Perlman movie is fantastic.
01:02:43.847 --> 01:02:46.127
I'm sure we will cover it on secret very soon.
01:02:46.527 --> 01:02:50.287
Least favorite comedian's opinions on Kill Tony. Well, my friend,
01:02:50.407 --> 01:02:52.027
you kind of just answered that in one sentence.
01:02:52.367 --> 01:02:55.807
Is it worth it, in your opinion, to become an entertainer? Is the cost higher
01:02:55.807 --> 01:03:00.207
than the reward? Well, depends on who you ask from a certain point of view.
01:03:01.147 --> 01:03:04.287
The cost to you could be something completely different than the cost to me.
01:03:04.887 --> 01:03:09.407
It's like any job you chase. You know, is going to medical school for eight years worth it?
01:03:09.467 --> 01:03:13.087
Is going to law school for 62 years worth it? And then going to grad school after that worth it?
01:03:13.327 --> 01:03:17.667
I don't know. it probably is when you are getting into it to help people i got
01:03:17.667 --> 01:03:22.627
into show business because i wanted everyone to look at me while i talked so
01:03:22.627 --> 01:03:28.607
yeah it's pretty fucking worth it little wandering muse do you think i got into
01:03:28.607 --> 01:03:31.707
this for the art jesus christ i have dozens of dollars.
01:03:33.435 --> 01:03:36.115
Back to texas if they'll let me i'll be there in
01:03:36.115 --> 01:03:38.875
a heartbeat i was just in plano i love texas texas one of my favorite places
01:03:38.875 --> 01:03:42.135
to do in comedy how to start doing stand-up comedy this question
01:03:42.135 --> 01:03:45.195
comes up a lot i'm gonna give you the answer i answer everybody else buy yourself
01:03:45.195 --> 01:03:48.035
a notebook a notebook that you only use to write jokes in
01:03:48.035 --> 01:03:51.055
write every funny idea that you have in that notebook for
01:03:51.055 --> 01:03:54.075
six months and not a second before those
01:03:54.075 --> 01:03:56.855
six months when you're about five months in
01:03:56.855 --> 01:03:59.535
start trying to craft out a five-minute set and then at
01:03:59.535 --> 01:04:02.355
month six go to your first open mic and you have to go to that first open
01:04:02.355 --> 01:04:05.055
mic within your first six months because you gotta spend five months writing the
01:04:05.055 --> 01:04:07.835
jokes you gotta spend a month prepping and then you do that first open
01:04:07.835 --> 01:04:11.595
mic and guess what you will never have a first open mic again are
01:04:11.595 --> 01:04:14.395
you an innie or an outie is that a belly button
01:04:14.395 --> 01:04:18.815
yeah what are my thoughts on weird al's mj parodies i don't know if i've discussed
01:04:18.815 --> 01:04:21.515
this before but if it weren't for weird al's mj parodies i'd never know who
01:04:21.515 --> 01:04:24.775
michael jackson was when i was a kid driving home from the karate school well
01:04:24.775 --> 01:04:30.535
my father was driving i was a kid a friend of mine who was playing fat And I
01:04:30.535 --> 01:04:32.075
had no idea why this was so funny.
01:04:32.215 --> 01:04:34.695
I'm just 10 years old. It's great. It was right after White and Nerdy.
01:04:34.975 --> 01:04:37.135
And my dad said to me, if you want to know why this is funny,
01:04:37.195 --> 01:04:38.615
go home and watch Michael Jackson's Bad.
01:04:38.795 --> 01:04:42.335
And I think that he regrets that more than anything else in his life because
01:04:42.335 --> 01:04:45.715
I was in fifth grade and I had one of those computers with the BBL in the back.
01:04:45.795 --> 01:04:50.795
And when he came down from the subway and then he went and the music video started,
01:04:50.995 --> 01:04:52.715
I knew what I wanted to be for the rest of my life.
01:04:52.815 --> 01:04:55.435
I wanted to do something in that variety.
01:04:56.315 --> 01:04:59.895
Tips for writing comedy. once I start I
01:04:59.895 --> 01:05:02.915
will let you know I I write like my scripts
01:05:02.915 --> 01:05:05.795
to podcasts I write TV and movie
01:05:05.795 --> 01:05:11.115
stuff but I do a lot of my stand-up writing on stage because that's where the
01:05:11.115 --> 01:05:17.335
crowd is and there's not a crowd sitting on my desk at home a lot of people
01:05:17.335 --> 01:05:23.675
they're very good at it maybe I'm just lazy I'm kind of like the uh the Jay-Z of of comedy I know.
01:05:25.459 --> 01:05:31.759
My favorite band, D12. Hmm. What is my favorite band? Oh, I gotta go with Fleetwood Mac.
01:05:32.279 --> 01:05:35.019
Yeah, Fleetwood Mac. My mom did that to me.
01:05:35.499 --> 01:05:41.499
How to start doing stand-up comedy. Yeah, I got you, dog. You good. Do I enjoy Doctor Who?
01:05:41.779 --> 01:05:47.779
Yeah, the same way I enjoy getting a icicle jammed into my asshole at my grandmother's
01:05:47.779 --> 01:05:50.399
funeral when I asked for a Dr. Pepper.
01:05:51.079 --> 01:05:53.079
But I've heard great things about both.
01:05:54.753 --> 01:05:57.493
Late love you though no you're not late you're here thoughts on
01:05:57.493 --> 01:06:01.033
the planet of the apes movie caesar cobot nova etc the
01:06:01.033 --> 01:06:03.893
new ones i think that they're they're great
01:06:03.893 --> 01:06:07.253
kingdom of planet apes was really really really good and i
01:06:07.253 --> 01:06:10.053
love planet of the apes that's the franchise i grew up on my dad maybe
01:06:10.053 --> 01:06:13.033
watched that when i was like 10 and he was like this is about the civil
01:06:13.033 --> 01:06:16.213
rights movement and i was like okay but then he said that about everything like
01:06:16.213 --> 01:06:19.253
one time he made me watch a episode of family matters
01:06:19.253 --> 01:06:21.873
where steve gets sent to the moon and he's like
01:06:21.873 --> 01:06:25.093
this is about black people and i'm like no the fuck it is not most
01:06:25.093 --> 01:06:27.913
anticipated movie of 2026 that is
01:06:27.913 --> 01:06:31.433
a great question doomsday gotta be doomsday yes that's
01:06:31.433 --> 01:06:34.113
above michael jafar sounds like him he just
01:06:34.113 --> 01:06:36.873
doesn't look like him to me yet you know will i ever come back
01:06:36.873 --> 01:06:39.593
to san diego girl you know i'm coming back to san diego i
01:06:39.593 --> 01:06:42.453
might move to san diego i'm just waiting for them to let me
01:06:42.453 --> 01:06:45.393
that's why i'm pumping out all the podcasts because well
01:06:45.393 --> 01:06:48.313
uh uh i i sound like jeff golden uh
01:06:48.313 --> 01:06:51.293
well uh uh yes i uh i'm waiting can
01:06:51.293 --> 01:06:54.513
get on a san diego even take a middle suite yes
01:06:54.513 --> 01:06:57.393
a uh a d e uh f or
01:06:57.393 --> 01:07:02.293
so on in phalanges of course okay let's see last few questions what's your favorite
01:07:02.293 --> 01:07:14.353
thing about anakin skywalker as a character it's such okay i was gonna try to
01:07:14.353 --> 01:07:15.833
keep that brief but it's just not gonna happen.
01:07:16.893 --> 01:07:19.853
In the revenge of the sith novelization on the side
01:07:19.853 --> 01:07:24.073
it says this is how it feels to be anakin skywalker forever and when you're
01:07:24.073 --> 01:07:27.253
a kid you go that sounds pretty fucking cool he's dope ass jedi he's got the
01:07:27.253 --> 01:07:31.773
force this guy's cool as hell then you realize when you're anakin skywalker
01:07:31.773 --> 01:07:37.833
forever you're tormented by the love you had for your mother when you were pulled away from a cult,
01:07:38.493 --> 01:07:41.873
because they told you your most powerful being that is going to bring balance
01:07:41.873 --> 01:07:46.753
to a religion you might not even believe in that fear of loss and the fear of
01:07:46.753 --> 01:07:49.373
losing your mother, which is why the Jedi take the children so young.
01:07:50.936 --> 01:07:56.276
Into a toxic relationship, not toxic, a beautiful one, that they truly did love each other.
01:07:56.476 --> 01:07:59.536
Padme waited for him to turn 18, and then she jumped those bones.
01:08:00.696 --> 01:08:04.056
How I feel about Anakin Skywalker is how I feel about myself a lot of the time,
01:08:04.076 --> 01:08:07.236
in the sense that Anakin has a hard time loving
01:08:07.662 --> 01:08:11.022
and not blaming himself for things. And often because of that,
01:08:11.142 --> 01:08:12.702
it leads to his own self-destruction.
01:08:12.882 --> 01:08:15.742
I mean, Revenge of the Sith, people say they cram four hours,
01:08:16.182 --> 01:08:18.362
you know, 20 years worth of shit into a three-hour movie.
01:08:18.942 --> 01:08:24.422
His journey began as a slave and you watch Attack of the Clones and you go,
01:08:24.522 --> 01:08:28.922
oh, he was evil the whole time. And by the time Revenge of the Sith rolls around,
01:08:29.022 --> 01:08:30.422
this is after a three-hour war.
01:08:30.702 --> 01:08:33.122
He has absolutely no faith left in the Jedi.
01:08:33.422 --> 01:08:37.522
I was groomed by my uncle to smoke crack because I was told my love for Michael
01:08:37.522 --> 01:08:40.822
Jackson and my looks were the best of the family.
01:08:41.162 --> 01:08:44.822
You're not going to tell me if my uncle had lightning that he could shoot out
01:08:44.822 --> 01:08:47.302
of his hands when he was president and he patted me on the back and appointed
01:08:47.302 --> 01:08:50.802
him to be his representative on the Jedi Council to save my wife from certain
01:08:50.802 --> 01:08:51.742
death. I wouldn't take it.
01:08:52.042 --> 01:08:55.982
Of course I would. The problem with Anakin, and I don't separate Anakin and
01:08:55.982 --> 01:08:57.722
Darth Vader because they're the same person,
01:08:58.462 --> 01:09:03.762
is Anakin cannot seem to take responsibility for his own actions other than
01:09:03.762 --> 01:09:07.222
Padme and he knows he killed Padme.
01:09:07.482 --> 01:09:11.302
If you read the Vader canon comic, Palpatine tells him when he gets off the
01:09:11.302 --> 01:09:15.042
stretcher and then Palpatine, you know, he goes, no, and he does a repulse and
01:09:15.042 --> 01:09:18.182
Palpatine's like, touch me with the force again, Lord Vader,
01:09:18.402 --> 01:09:21.102
and I will finish what Kenobi could not.
01:09:22.662 --> 01:09:26.902
And the reason why I say Darth Vader is Anakin is because when he finds out
01:09:26.902 --> 01:09:29.562
Luke Skywalker is his son, he changes course.
01:09:29.702 --> 01:09:32.402
He goes, okay, I'm going to get him, I'm going to turn him and then we're going
01:09:32.402 --> 01:09:33.322
to take down the Emperor.
01:09:34.582 --> 01:09:37.702
Then when the emperor finds out that that's
01:09:37.702 --> 01:09:40.542
what vader was trying to do when the empire strikes back he takes him to the fleet out
01:09:40.542 --> 01:09:43.362
mexico and he goes hey i got this much
01:09:43.362 --> 01:09:48.042
firepower you are fucked no matter what you try to do so that's why we see vader's
01:09:48.042 --> 01:09:51.002
change of tone to return to the jedi because he's like luke you ain't you don't
01:09:51.002 --> 01:09:54.322
have any idea what he has out there you are absolutely fucked so what does he
01:09:54.322 --> 01:09:59.502
do he rage baits his son to probably kill him i think anakin was ready to die
01:09:59.502 --> 01:10:00.982
at that point because he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like
01:10:01.406 --> 01:10:04.806
care if his son turned to the dark side you understand luke and vader didn't
01:10:04.806 --> 01:10:08.006
really have a relationship other than what it symbolized which was the only
01:10:08.006 --> 01:10:12.466
thing that was ever going to bring vader back to the light side were his kids
01:10:12.466 --> 01:10:16.606
and when padme says there's still good in him you see that good at the end of
01:10:16.606 --> 01:10:20.106
return of the jedi or at least that's how a nerd like me would explain why that's
01:10:20.106 --> 01:10:23.386
hayden christiansen's ghost and not sebastian stan all right one more question.
01:10:25.006 --> 01:10:28.606
Would you like to hang out with me wow i really wish that wasn't the last one
01:10:29.006 --> 01:10:35.406
but god damn it leslie webb when i'm in your city shoot me a message and i'll send you this,
01:10:36.006 --> 01:10:41.146
rare edition spectrum of the bat autographed by sean
01:10:41.146 --> 01:10:43.966
penn that can't be right anyway i mean
01:10:43.966 --> 01:10:46.766
this is usually in the point of the show where i say next week we got this guest but
01:10:46.766 --> 01:10:49.546
honestly i'm han solo on this
01:10:49.546 --> 01:10:52.426
pod for a minute maybe it's the consequences of my actions and
01:10:52.426 --> 01:10:56.086
i gotta take a deep look at myself but i'm a 30 year old man now and thank you
01:10:56.086 --> 01:10:59.426
for letting me yap at you for an hour and 27 minutes on bonding we are dropping
01:10:59.426 --> 01:11:05.406
every thursday you have my word and next week we begin our once a week denzel
01:11:05.406 --> 01:11:09.706
washington movie review of the week until then i'm troy bond get your tickets
01:11:09.706 --> 01:11:11.966
at troy bond.comi.io shimon.