WEBVTT
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So it's Evan Sharif Shakor, Lewis Spears.
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Lewis Spears, how are you, sir?
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What's up, man?
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Good.
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This interview might be a little biased, you know what I mean?
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Because I know you a little bit.
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Um, but it's not a political interview.
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It's a mental health educational interview, which gives people insight on who you are, your experiences, completely separate from what's going on now.
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Absolutely.
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Uh only it only helps to uh further get people to understand who Lewis Spears is.
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So first off, as a as a uh black man to black man, as a human being to a human being, how you feel right now mentally.
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Uh man, uh it's a lot.
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Uh as like just managing it, managing how you say it?
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Managing, managing it all, right?
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Uh yeah, it's a lot trying to manage everything, man.
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Um and and in general, I feel like the the world is on my shoulder in general.
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Um not in a way that it provides pressure genu gener generally, um but in a way that's like, yeah, I got things to do.
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But at this point, it's a it's a lot more pressure, man.
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A lot more pressure.
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A lot more pressure.
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Um I I went to a uh a gathering and this older gentleman he grabbed me by my shoulder.
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He said, Don't embarrass us.
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He was like, Don't embarrass us, man.
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And I'm like, I just understood it, right?
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Yeah, yeah.
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And uh I don't I don't have any intentions on right embarrassing anybody, whatever, you know.
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And and in fact, like that's not the first group of people I think about when I think about embarrassing, embarrassing someone, right?
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I'm like, I I don't I think about God first, I think about my family second, right?
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Like, um, and me and and then my young men for my uh organization, and then you know, I think about like the community at large, right?
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Yeah, but yeah, it's it's it's a lot.
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It's a lot.
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I mean, just from a uh literal standpoint, just the multiple roles that most of us have, yeah.
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Um you're a father, you're a husband, right, you're a mentor, yeah.
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Um on top of that, yeah, yeah.
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You're accessible.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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What type of um stress does having that type of accessibility to you have?
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Like, does it, you know, does it affect you?
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Uh it ebbs and flows.
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So it it affects it affects me, but it ebbs and flows.
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So certain days uh I don't want to have certain types of conversations, or I don't want certain certain people to have access to me for you know for whatever reason.
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Uh and then other days I'm like, let me just hurry up and get this over with, right?
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Um and there are several conversations or uh certain um connections where I'm very upfront uh about like the time that I have.
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I will I will begin the phone call or the exchange, hey, listen, I got 30 minutes, or I got 20 minutes, uh, you got me full throttle, I won't check my phone, I won't.
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Let me put that in my notes.
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Okay.
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Right.
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I still I start with that.
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And uh uh just so that we're clear going in.
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And most people are like, oh yeah, no, no, that's good.
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That's all I need, right?
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Because they they know we we we're gonna shoot the breeze, but it's really like what's the goal?
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We got what's the intended goal, let's hit it and keep it moving.
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Gotcha.
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You know what I mean?
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Um for me, I don't really like politics, or I'm not not into it, but I mean, because I understand that it's more it's bigger than one person.
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Right.
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It's a structure, it takes multiple people to you know create change.
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Yeah.
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But I can always say I can vouch for you because I saw you do the quote unquote groundwork.
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Yeah.
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Because you can't really when you when you rely on your genuine true self, I mean, it's gonna show.
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Yeah.
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So I'm gonna take you back, and I know you remember this.
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This is for everyone else.
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Uh-huh.
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When I'm 35 now, I think I was about 27 or 28.
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Yeah.
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And it was the first time I started having panic attacks.
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Right, right.
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And I never I never knew heard of that.
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What the hell is a panic attack?
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Right, right, right.
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And something told me to say it to you.
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Uh-huh.
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And you were like, yeah, like, like, this is normal.
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And I was like, what?
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You know what I mean?
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I remember that.
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But you gave me great advice, and you helped me, without even knowing, navigate to get to the information, and I didn't feel alone.
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Gotcha.
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You know, you didn't know you were gonna run for mayor probably, you know, down the line.
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Yeah.
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But those uh interactions that you have with people like me, with the people in the community, is what I hear people talking about the most.
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Wow.
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Um, what is how does that make you feel hearing that?
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So so uh on on a every any given day, right, I'm overwhelmed with uh wanting to be the best version of myself.
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Um Glenn Cunningham speaks about uh great man.
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Yo, right, right, appreciate it.
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Uh he said uh in in a race, right, running for whatever offer office is is the man versus himself, the harshest of opponents, right?
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So it's really about like being the best version of myself, right?
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Um but being the best version of myself, um, part of that is like genuinely being concerned for others, right?
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Like I want people to do well.
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Uh when when so we talk about this on on off-screen, we talk about like haters and things like that.
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I I really can't relate because essentially, um, even if there was a job that I won it and someone else got it, and I think that they were awesome, like I'm I'm high fiving them.
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I mean, I'm just as excited for them.
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You know what I mean?
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And so uh I genuinely want people to win.
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Um, and right now it's really just about yo, equipping myself with the knowledge, right?
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And just ensuring that I'm not gonna stare people in the wrong in the wrong direction, man.
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Um and so I if if if there's pressure, um, that's where I I feel it the most.
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I mean, one thing I think we have to give ourselves credit for and being kind to ourselves is that, you know, growing up in the environment that we grew up, literally for Jersey City, growing up, you booker T, me on the hill, I don't know why I say Greenville now, this is that's new to me.
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Right, right.
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But sometimes our confidence is stripped from us because of our environment and the trauma that we experience.
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Exactly.
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You be you having to step up and run for office, how are you navigating that hurt little boy that we've talked about off camera before, and being able to fill that role and believe in yourself?
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Has it been a struggle?
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Elaborate on it.
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Yeah, that's real.
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So one one thing that I've uh I I need to get better at, um, but like what what I'm doing now is like doing videos to talk about like my experiences throughout the whole process, right?
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Therapeutic.
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Uh it's very therapeutic, and I and I could look back at it and all that good stuff.
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But uh uh it's tough, right?
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Because I've had people say to me, Yo, who do you think you are?
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Right?
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Like you you you don't have the potential to do something like this, right?
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Uh so it's reconfirming, my therapist told me this.
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Yeah, yeah.
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It's like reconfirming what your trauma traumatic situations already told you.
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Exactly, right?
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And then uh what what what I do right now, man, and I'm very strategic about this, I surround myself around uh like government-minded people who believe in what I believe in in terms of uh, you know, the way things should be, right?
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Like this very progressive, that's what they label it.
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I don't think it's uh progressive at all.
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I just think it's uh being uh human, being kind, being conscious of like others in the world, right?
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Um so I don't necessarily look at it as progressive more than I look at it as uh being being uh uh sensitive to everybody in the ecosystem and not just the ones who have the wealth or the power, right?
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Um uh and so when I think about like what they say, right?
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Um the people who I surround myself around, they they they speak um louder than those people at this point.
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I remember when I was young, I would like mull over all of the negative things that folks would say to me, right?
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Like being being from the projects, it wasn't like you knew that you were poor, you just somehow felt insignificant at times, or a lot of times, right?
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Like you you knew that there was lack, but you didn't understand like how how much lack, right?
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Or where the lack was.
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But you know what I mean?
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You didn't have to stand it to compare it to.
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Right, right, right.
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And and we had TV, right?
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And but we always just thought that that's that was an esoteric idea, we could never reach it.
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Exactly.
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And so I I think from then, right, like people told me not to go to Harvard, right?
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And I I put I did it, right?
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Um, someone told me that like my wife was too good for me, right?
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But I bagged her, you know what I'm saying?
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Right?
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It's so yo, I had yo, I have to, right?
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Because at the end of the day, she she she's holding me down in this at this point, right?
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Because like I'm I come home getting beat up, tired, whatever, and she's like, yo, babe, your your dinner is here, right?
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So it's like uh people have told me in the past what I couldn't do.
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Um and for some reason I've always had the will to just do it.
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And it's not really to prove them wrong or right, right?
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It's just to say, well, I know my value, and this is where I this is where I'm gonna exactly, this is where I'm gonna choose to go.
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I always say that that's uh it's just like a higher, whatever a person's faith, religion, spirituality.
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I feel like that's a divine thing.
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Absolutely.
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Because a lot of times people ask me, how did you do it?
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I'm I I don't know.
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Right.
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You know, this was just innate.
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It was just in me.
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Um the the other thing too, right?
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It's in you, but there are times where you just have to step out, right?
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Where you you're not sure of the next step, or you're not sure of uh where you're gonna get all the funds from or whatever, right?
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You're you're unsure about the the entire road, but you just take a leap of faith.
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You do it trembling, you do it unsure, you do it um nervous, uh all of that, all of that.
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Um, but you still do it.
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And so folks have to know that, like you could do it, bro.
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You can do it.
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You can do it.
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And even if you're scared, do it.
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Absolutely, right?
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Because who who's living with with regrets like that?
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You know what I'm saying?
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I had a close friend say to me, bro, I've never seen you scared before.
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And I'm like, I ha I experience fear, but I do it anyway.
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Yeah.
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You know?
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Yeah.
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Um trauma can have you build tolerance a little bit.
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Yeah.
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Um but on to the next thing.
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I don't, I know you're a busy man, I can't keep you too long.
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But this is a question I'm I ask most brothers.
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Uh-huh.
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And I'm gonna continue as I do more interviews.
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When was the last time you cried and why?
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So crazy, man.
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So I still have uh uh uh adverse uh uh uh experience for crying still, right?
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Um so you don't cry much?
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I I I don't know if I really know how to.
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And that that's real.
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Like, if I think tears are about to come out, I'll I'll s I'll either laugh or do something else to like, you know, cut to distract myself, right?
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Um and uh, yo, it's I don't know how healthy it is.
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I mean, I I found other ways, healthy ways to write, like manage stress or deal with trauma and all that, but in terms of crying, it's been a while.
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It's been a a long time.
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A really long time.
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I wish sometimes I could.
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Do you well let me rephrase it?
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Do you ever take time, and this might not be relevant to you to your uh your your journey, but do you ever feel like you have to take time to feel sad or to mourn or maybe you're not struggling with anything related to that, but do you ever really have to take time to reflect and just grieve?
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Yo, so the the reality is that we're taught to, you know what I mean, like get over stuff.
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Yeah, yeah.
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But through counseling, I realize that um I I can sit in that, yeah.
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Um I haven't been able to do it since the the the campaign.
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There's a lot going on, yeah.
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Yeah, uh, but I I I I I am uh going to use the time afterwards, right?
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To take some time to myself and do just that, man.
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Um and and it's it's not necessarily like win or lose grieving, right?
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It's really like the process, right?
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And like the hurt, the hurt, the hurting uh things that people say to me that I think I brush off.
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But like when I wake up is echoing in my head, right?
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Exactly.
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Or or how uh a person slams the door in my face, right?
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Even though I've gotten a lot of great, I got more positive than negatives, but somehow those negative things are still echoing in my head, right?
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And so like I'm gonna take time to do that.
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But I'm I'm intentional about uh taking that time to like just uh sit in my sit in my mess.
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Your mess.
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Yeah.
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And just to give context to to the listeners, um, you know, I do I try to discuss a lot of um inner child work.
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So usually when I'm talking about grief, uh I mean in a literal sense, like if you lost a parent like I did, that that's one thing.
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But a lot of times I understand like when we were children, we were hurt.
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Yeah.
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And I know for me, I suppressed a lot of it because I had I didn't have the time, like you said, to to mourn because uh crying don't pay the bills, crying don't achieve goals in our minds anyway.
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Right.
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So sometimes uh I feel like I do have to give myself that process that to be sad because I didn't I wasn't allowed to be sad when when I really needed to be.
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You know, because I felt like anywhere at the time that if I was sad, I wouldn't have been able to maneuver and navigate the trauma.
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Right.
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You know what I mean?
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Right.
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Uh I and I I gotta mentee now who feels like if he's sad, then he's gonna break down, right?
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So he chooses not to even go there because that was once me, right, back in the day.
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But uh I learned that uh it it never really leaves you, it just turns into something else.
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Something else.
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Right.
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It manifests itself in something else.
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So you you might want to be the best version of a dad, right, for your children.
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But because you didn't deal with your childhood trauma, it turn it it it re- uh it re uh forms itself in in the lives of your children.
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Yeah right?
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Or you know, or how you interact with them or whatever, right?
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And so those are the roadblocks that stops you from being the roadblocks that stop you from being the best version of yourself.
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Last question.
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Um Then we'll leave on a positive note after this.
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As a child, what was the most traumatic experience that comes to mind when, you know, like you're in therapy, the thing that probably hovers over you the most the context is that we've talked before.
00:14:57.759 --> 00:14:57.840
Yeah.
00:14:58.240 --> 00:15:01.440
But what is the thing that sticks out in your mind as traumatic for you growing up?
00:15:01.759 --> 00:15:09.039
Oh man, so that's a very hard question because as soon as you said that, like seven things just went went through my head.
00:15:09.279 --> 00:15:20.879
Uh but I remember being about uh uh 11, uh 12, and uh my my mom and my stepdad were fighting, right?
00:15:21.039 --> 00:15:23.360
And uh my mom is a strong woman, right?
00:15:23.440 --> 00:15:26.320
Um and he was very abusive to her growing up.
00:15:26.480 --> 00:15:34.240
Um and I remember like uh getting in between them to like try to stop him and like the rage that he looked at me with, right?
00:15:34.320 --> 00:15:38.080
Like, like I thought that he was legit gonna kill her and me at that point, right?
00:15:38.159 --> 00:15:42.480
Because I got in between them and he looked at me um in a in a crazy way.
00:15:42.559 --> 00:15:44.559
And uh like you can still see it now.
00:15:45.039 --> 00:15:46.639
I can still see, I could feel that, right?
00:15:46.879 --> 00:15:47.759
I could hear it, right?
00:15:47.840 --> 00:15:49.200
I could I know what it smelled like.
00:15:49.279 --> 00:15:49.840
You know what I mean?
00:15:49.919 --> 00:15:52.639
Like so, so uh, yeah, man.
00:15:52.720 --> 00:15:56.000
And so I'm very protective of the people I love, man.
00:15:56.159 --> 00:15:56.480
Gotcha.
00:15:56.639 --> 00:16:07.679
Like, you can't say whatever, even saying something to like my children or like my wife or whatever, or my friends for that matter, or you can't say nothing around my friend about me, I'm about my friends around me.
00:16:07.759 --> 00:16:08.159
You know what I'm saying?
00:16:08.399 --> 00:16:10.080
You're gonna go into defense immediately.
00:16:10.399 --> 00:16:10.960
Automatically.
00:16:11.200 --> 00:16:16.639
Because I I I'm I I the time that I could have or I thought I should have, I couldn't.
00:16:16.720 --> 00:16:16.879
Yeah.
00:16:17.039 --> 00:16:17.360
Right?
00:16:17.440 --> 00:16:19.279
I I couldn't do anything with that, right?
00:16:19.360 --> 00:16:22.720
And so like I'm very uh sensitive to that.
00:16:23.039 --> 00:16:25.519
Look up Steven Jackson.
00:16:25.600 --> 00:16:26.559
You know Steven Jackson?
00:16:26.639 --> 00:16:28.720
He has all the smoke podcasts with Matt Barnes.
00:16:29.519 --> 00:16:31.120
Oh yeah, yeah, I I've seen him, yeah.
00:16:31.360 --> 00:16:36.320
He talks about his brother, his brother was killed, I believe, in Texas somehow, and he couldn't help him.
00:16:36.799 --> 00:16:38.960
However, the incident went down, he couldn't get to him.
00:16:39.200 --> 00:16:54.080
And he made it to the NBA, and then he started to have a reputation as a quote-unquote thug, even though people didn't know his story, and he was just like he had he got into a big fight, the malice at the palace in the NBA, where like a fan hit one of his teammates and he defended him.
00:16:54.399 --> 00:17:00.879
And he always went back to how he was hurt because his brother got killed and he was never able to defend him.
00:17:01.279 --> 00:17:03.840
So it was very what you just said was very reminiscent of that.
00:17:04.160 --> 00:17:04.799
Oh yeah, man.
00:17:05.279 --> 00:17:05.680
Absolutely.
00:17:06.400 --> 00:17:13.839
But on a positive note, I just want people to understand that you know anybody can be a politician, right?
00:17:14.000 --> 00:17:17.519
Anybody can be in a position of power, absolutely, whatever authority.
00:17:17.839 --> 00:17:35.839
But to me, it's the symbolic, the symbolism in the journey of you coming from Booker T, going to Harvard, navigating traumatic situations like that, and getting where you are now is probably bigger than you even becoming a mayor or any any position ever.
00:17:36.000 --> 00:17:36.160
Right.
00:17:36.319 --> 00:17:39.359
That journey itself is the one that no one can take from you.
00:17:39.599 --> 00:17:40.640
Yeah, absolutely, man.
00:17:40.720 --> 00:17:44.720
And I I think I do a really good job at like I like that you tell yourself you do it.
00:17:45.119 --> 00:17:46.640
You we gotta be kind of like that.
00:17:47.359 --> 00:17:47.920
That's not narcissistic.
00:17:48.160 --> 00:17:49.440
That's you though, that's true, that's true.
00:17:50.079 --> 00:17:59.519
Yeah, I I think I do a really good job at like uh putting out to the world how like how I I uh the great parts of my life, right?
00:17:59.599 --> 00:17:59.839
Yeah.
00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:05.839
I I would like to do a better job at showing uh how I think about solving problems and issues, right?
00:18:06.000 --> 00:18:12.400
Um because ultimately um they they see like the the glitz and the glamour and they think celebrity, right?
00:18:12.559 --> 00:18:13.599
Or popular.
00:18:13.759 --> 00:18:16.960
But really, um I've I've been able it's it's a lot of ingenuity.
00:18:17.119 --> 00:18:18.240
Yeah, it's in genuine, right?
00:18:18.319 --> 00:18:21.039
It's it's is it's a lot of systemic things, right?
00:18:21.200 --> 00:18:28.160
Where I I've had conversations with you, like, listen, I'm about to do this, and then after that, I'm gonna do this, and I'm gonna move over here and I'm gonna do that.
00:18:28.240 --> 00:18:30.079
It's it's very strategic, right?
00:18:30.240 --> 00:18:38.960
And so uh I I I'm gonna start showing that that side of me more uh so that folks will know that uh that there's a system there.
00:18:39.279 --> 00:18:41.440
And I need other people to emulate that, right?
00:18:41.680 --> 00:18:42.000
100%.
00:18:42.400 --> 00:18:45.920
Um and so I I realize that genius in navigating trauma.
00:18:46.079 --> 00:18:46.880
That's right.
00:18:46.960 --> 00:18:52.240
Because I always say if I didn't have the trauma that I had, I'd probably be on Mars working for NASA.
00:18:52.480 --> 00:18:52.880
Yeah, right.
00:18:53.039 --> 00:18:53.359
NASA.
00:18:53.680 --> 00:18:57.200
But I had to use my genius to navigate the things that were pressed upon us.
00:18:57.359 --> 00:18:57.759
Absolutely.
00:18:57.920 --> 00:19:01.359
So that ingenuity that you that you have, you navigated the trauma.
00:19:01.519 --> 00:19:01.680
Right.
00:19:01.839 --> 00:19:06.240
Now you're gonna use it and show the world, like you said, that you can problem solve.
00:19:06.400 --> 00:19:08.799
And because you've already problem solved at the highest level.
00:19:08.880 --> 00:19:09.759
I don't care what nobody says.
00:19:09.920 --> 00:19:10.319
Yeah, man.
00:19:10.480 --> 00:19:11.039
Appreciate that.
00:19:11.200 --> 00:19:11.759
Appreciate that.
00:19:11.920 --> 00:19:15.920
And I at the end of the day, it's really not about it's not about the position, right?
00:19:16.160 --> 00:19:17.440
It really isn't, right?
00:19:17.759 --> 00:19:24.880
It's more about uh the ability to make decisions on the behalf of folks who can't otherwise, right?
00:19:25.039 --> 00:19:34.720
And being in a position um to to really create policy and and and change uh the trajectory of people's lives so that they don't have to go through what I went through.
00:19:35.200 --> 00:19:36.640
And that that's the goal, man.
00:19:36.720 --> 00:19:38.880
Absolutely that that's that's my chief goal.
00:19:39.039 --> 00:19:44.400
And so whether it's the mayor's position, if I get it now or not, I'll probably go again, right?
00:19:44.559 --> 00:19:50.240
Or if it's any other thing that will affect change in a major way, that's that's what we're doing, man.
00:19:50.480 --> 00:19:55.599
Because the goal here is not to create another generation that experience what we experience.
00:19:55.839 --> 00:19:57.039
Absolutely.
00:19:57.359 --> 00:20:08.720
Uh, before I close out this bias interview, um anything you want to tell the uh the voters, the the world, um, young people before you close out.
00:20:09.039 --> 00:20:15.200
So so when I when I think about this journey, man, um I'm gonna use this analogy that I heard T.D.
00:20:15.279 --> 00:20:16.160
Jakes uh use.
00:20:16.559 --> 00:20:16.880
T.D.
00:20:16.960 --> 00:20:17.680
Jakes is dope.
00:20:17.759 --> 00:20:18.559
Uh yeah, man.
00:20:18.880 --> 00:20:23.119
This one dope concept that I that that I that I'm walking with, right?
00:20:23.279 --> 00:20:26.240
So in general, when we think about the restaurant, right?
00:20:26.319 --> 00:20:29.839
We when we go into any restaurant, you know, it's clean, right?
00:20:29.920 --> 00:20:37.920
Is is the tables are wiped down, uh, you know, depending on where you go, is like, you know, the ambiance is lit, the the chandeliers, all that good stuff, right?
00:20:38.079 --> 00:20:42.079
Um, but then when you go into the kitchen, I don't care what kitchen you go to, right?
00:20:42.319 --> 00:20:44.240
Uh it's it's a mess back there.
00:20:44.400 --> 00:20:46.160
The greasy floors, right?
00:20:46.240 --> 00:20:48.160
It's it's noodles on the walls, right?
00:20:48.240 --> 00:20:49.039
It's like grease everywhere.
00:20:49.279 --> 00:20:49.839
Dirty sneakers.
00:20:50.240 --> 00:20:51.119
Dirty sneakers, right?
00:20:51.200 --> 00:20:53.839
You get you can't even dress a certain way going back there, right?
00:20:54.000 --> 00:20:57.279
Um, and so why why is that so important?
00:20:57.359 --> 00:21:03.119
Um, because in life, on the inside of us, right, it it feels like the kitchen a lot of times, right?
00:21:03.279 --> 00:21:06.000
And and we feel like, yo, it's I'm a mess.
00:21:06.079 --> 00:21:09.599
I, you know, I'm dirty, I got all of this going on, or whatever, right?
00:21:09.759 --> 00:21:13.359
But the reality is uh that's not what everybody else sees, right?
00:21:13.440 --> 00:21:14.880
That's not the person that you present.
00:21:15.119 --> 00:21:18.319
And so be okay with the kitchen experience, right?
00:21:18.400 --> 00:21:23.680
And and and know that like uh that that what you present to the world is the restaurant, right?
00:21:23.759 --> 00:21:25.119
And that no one sees the kitchen.
00:21:25.200 --> 00:21:26.799
I I don't we don't see a lot of the kitchens, right?
00:21:27.759 --> 00:21:32.319
Well, he said it in a more eloquent way, but I just like broke it down to in a very simple app.
00:21:34.000 --> 00:21:34.960
Yeah, that's it.
00:21:35.119 --> 00:21:36.319
Yeah, man, absolutely.
00:21:36.480 --> 00:21:38.079
And even with systems, right?
00:21:38.160 --> 00:21:42.640
Like when I started running for mayor, I'm like, yo, my back office is crazy right now.
00:21:42.799 --> 00:21:46.480
And then uh when we put on events, people are like, yo, it's one of the best events we ever had.
00:21:46.640 --> 00:21:50.400
Meanwhile, I'm I'm texting this person with screaming at this person, right?
00:21:50.480 --> 00:22:00.720
So that's the kitchen experience, and just know that like the restaurant and the kitchen are two different things, even though you know, essentially uh you prepare for the restaurant in the kitchen.
00:22:00.880 --> 00:22:01.599
You know what I mean?
00:22:01.759 --> 00:22:03.279
So that's what we're doing right now.
00:22:03.519 --> 00:22:04.400
That's dope, man.
00:00:11.839 --> 00:00:14.800
So it's Evan Sharif Shakor, Lewis Spears.
00:00:15.039 --> 00:00:16.239
Lewis Spears, how are you, sir?
00:00:16.480 --> 00:00:17.120
What's up, man?
00:00:17.679 --> 00:00:17.920
Good.
00:00:18.239 --> 00:00:20.960
This interview might be a little biased, you know what I mean?
00:00:21.039 --> 00:00:22.320
Because I know you a little bit.
00:00:22.640 --> 00:00:24.640
Um, but it's not a political interview.
00:00:25.039 --> 00:00:33.600
It's a mental health educational interview, which gives people insight on who you are, your experiences, completely separate from what's going on now.
00:00:33.840 --> 00:00:34.079
Absolutely.
00:00:34.479 --> 00:00:41.200
Uh only it only helps to uh further get people to understand who Lewis Spears is.
00:00:42.399 --> 00:00:53.439
So first off, as a as a uh black man to black man, as a human being to a human being, how you feel right now mentally.
00:00:53.920 --> 00:00:57.039
Uh man, uh it's a lot.
00:00:57.119 --> 00:01:01.359
Uh as like just managing it, managing how you say it?
00:01:01.759 --> 00:01:03.840
Managing, managing it all, right?
00:01:04.000 --> 00:01:07.760
Uh yeah, it's a lot trying to manage everything, man.
00:01:07.840 --> 00:01:13.760
Um and and in general, I feel like the the world is on my shoulder in general.
00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:23.840
Um not in a way that it provides pressure genu gener generally, um but in a way that's like, yeah, I got things to do.
00:01:24.079 --> 00:01:26.400
But at this point, it's a it's a lot more pressure, man.
00:01:26.640 --> 00:01:27.120
A lot more pressure.
00:01:27.359 --> 00:01:28.560
A lot more pressure.
00:01:28.719 --> 00:01:35.439
Um I I went to a uh a gathering and this older gentleman he grabbed me by my shoulder.
00:01:35.599 --> 00:01:37.439
He said, Don't embarrass us.
00:01:37.760 --> 00:01:39.680
He was like, Don't embarrass us, man.
00:01:39.840 --> 00:01:42.079
And I'm like, I just understood it, right?
00:01:42.159 --> 00:01:42.480
Yeah, yeah.
00:01:42.879 --> 00:01:48.319
And uh I don't I don't have any intentions on right embarrassing anybody, whatever, you know.
00:01:48.480 --> 00:01:54.719
And and in fact, like that's not the first group of people I think about when I think about embarrassing, embarrassing someone, right?
00:01:54.879 --> 00:01:59.040
I'm like, I I don't I think about God first, I think about my family second, right?
00:01:59.519 --> 00:02:08.240
Like, um, and me and and then my young men for my uh organization, and then you know, I think about like the community at large, right?
00:02:08.400 --> 00:02:10.240
Yeah, but yeah, it's it's it's a lot.
00:02:10.319 --> 00:02:10.719
It's a lot.
00:02:10.960 --> 00:02:16.960
I mean, just from a uh literal standpoint, just the multiple roles that most of us have, yeah.
00:02:17.199 --> 00:02:21.840
Um you're a father, you're a husband, right, you're a mentor, yeah.
00:02:22.159 --> 00:02:24.080
Um on top of that, yeah, yeah.
00:02:24.479 --> 00:02:25.520
You're accessible.
00:02:25.840 --> 00:02:27.039
Yeah, absolutely.
00:02:27.280 --> 00:02:34.240
What type of um stress does having that type of accessibility to you have?
00:02:34.400 --> 00:02:36.319
Like, does it, you know, does it affect you?
00:02:36.560 --> 00:02:38.000
Uh it ebbs and flows.
00:02:38.080 --> 00:02:41.199
So it it affects it affects me, but it ebbs and flows.
00:02:41.360 --> 00:02:50.479
So certain days uh I don't want to have certain types of conversations, or I don't want certain certain people to have access to me for you know for whatever reason.
00:02:50.639 --> 00:02:54.240
Uh and then other days I'm like, let me just hurry up and get this over with, right?
00:02:54.479 --> 00:03:03.360
Um and there are several conversations or uh certain um connections where I'm very upfront uh about like the time that I have.
00:03:03.520 --> 00:03:11.919
I will I will begin the phone call or the exchange, hey, listen, I got 30 minutes, or I got 20 minutes, uh, you got me full throttle, I won't check my phone, I won't.
00:03:12.240 --> 00:03:13.199
Let me put that in my notes.
00:03:13.919 --> 00:03:14.080
Okay.
00:03:14.319 --> 00:03:14.479
Right.
00:03:14.560 --> 00:03:16.719
I still I start with that.
00:03:16.800 --> 00:03:19.120
And uh uh just so that we're clear going in.
00:03:19.199 --> 00:03:21.520
And most people are like, oh yeah, no, no, that's good.
00:03:21.599 --> 00:03:22.560
That's all I need, right?
00:03:22.719 --> 00:03:27.360
Because they they know we we we're gonna shoot the breeze, but it's really like what's the goal?
00:03:27.439 --> 00:03:30.319
We got what's the intended goal, let's hit it and keep it moving.
00:03:30.560 --> 00:03:30.879
Gotcha.
00:03:30.960 --> 00:03:31.759
You know what I mean?
00:03:31.919 --> 00:03:40.400
Um for me, I don't really like politics, or I'm not not into it, but I mean, because I understand that it's more it's bigger than one person.
00:03:40.479 --> 00:03:40.639
Right.
00:03:40.800 --> 00:03:44.400
It's a structure, it takes multiple people to you know create change.
00:03:44.560 --> 00:03:44.719
Yeah.
00:03:44.879 --> 00:03:51.199
But I can always say I can vouch for you because I saw you do the quote unquote groundwork.
00:03:51.280 --> 00:03:51.439
Yeah.
00:03:51.759 --> 00:03:57.759
Because you can't really when you when you rely on your genuine true self, I mean, it's gonna show.
00:03:57.919 --> 00:03:58.080
Yeah.
00:03:58.479 --> 00:04:00.400
So I'm gonna take you back, and I know you remember this.
00:04:00.479 --> 00:04:01.520
This is for everyone else.
00:04:01.680 --> 00:04:02.000
Uh-huh.
00:04:02.319 --> 00:04:06.639
When I'm 35 now, I think I was about 27 or 28.
00:04:06.960 --> 00:04:07.280
Yeah.
00:04:07.520 --> 00:04:10.479
And it was the first time I started having panic attacks.
00:04:10.639 --> 00:04:11.280
Right, right.
00:04:11.439 --> 00:04:13.599
And I never I never knew heard of that.
00:04:13.759 --> 00:04:14.800
What the hell is a panic attack?
00:04:14.960 --> 00:04:15.520
Right, right, right.
00:04:15.680 --> 00:04:17.600
And something told me to say it to you.
00:04:17.680 --> 00:04:18.079
Uh-huh.
00:04:18.399 --> 00:04:21.839
And you were like, yeah, like, like, this is normal.
00:04:22.480 --> 00:04:23.439
And I was like, what?
00:04:23.680 --> 00:04:24.240
You know what I mean?
00:04:24.560 --> 00:04:25.040
I remember that.
00:04:25.279 --> 00:04:33.360
But you gave me great advice, and you helped me, without even knowing, navigate to get to the information, and I didn't feel alone.
00:04:33.519 --> 00:04:33.920
Gotcha.
00:04:34.160 --> 00:04:39.199
You know, you didn't know you were gonna run for mayor probably, you know, down the line.
00:04:39.759 --> 00:04:40.000
Yeah.
00:04:40.240 --> 00:04:46.399
But those uh interactions that you have with people like me, with the people in the community, is what I hear people talking about the most.
00:04:46.639 --> 00:04:47.040
Wow.
00:04:47.279 --> 00:04:49.759
Um, what is how does that make you feel hearing that?
00:04:50.000 --> 00:04:58.000
So so uh on on a every any given day, right, I'm overwhelmed with uh wanting to be the best version of myself.
00:04:58.160 --> 00:05:01.519
Um Glenn Cunningham speaks about uh great man.
00:05:02.240 --> 00:05:04.480
Yo, right, right, appreciate it.
00:05:04.639 --> 00:05:15.279
Uh he said uh in in a race, right, running for whatever offer office is is the man versus himself, the harshest of opponents, right?
00:05:15.439 --> 00:05:19.839
So it's really about like being the best version of myself, right?
00:05:20.000 --> 00:05:26.480
Um but being the best version of myself, um, part of that is like genuinely being concerned for others, right?
00:05:26.720 --> 00:05:29.040
Like I want people to do well.
00:05:29.199 --> 00:05:36.879
Uh when when so we talk about this on on off-screen, we talk about like haters and things like that.
00:05:37.040 --> 00:05:46.399
I I really can't relate because essentially, um, even if there was a job that I won it and someone else got it, and I think that they were awesome, like I'm I'm high fiving them.
00:05:46.480 --> 00:05:48.000
I mean, I'm just as excited for them.
00:05:48.079 --> 00:05:48.800
You know what I mean?
00:05:48.959 --> 00:05:51.759
And so uh I genuinely want people to win.
00:05:51.839 --> 00:05:56.639
Um, and right now it's really just about yo, equipping myself with the knowledge, right?
00:05:56.720 --> 00:06:01.360
And just ensuring that I'm not gonna stare people in the wrong in the wrong direction, man.
00:06:01.839 --> 00:06:07.439
Um and so I if if if there's pressure, um, that's where I I feel it the most.
00:06:07.680 --> 00:06:23.279
I mean, one thing I think we have to give ourselves credit for and being kind to ourselves is that, you know, growing up in the environment that we grew up, literally for Jersey City, growing up, you booker T, me on the hill, I don't know why I say Greenville now, this is that's new to me.
00:06:23.439 --> 00:06:23.839
Right, right.
00:06:24.240 --> 00:06:29.360
But sometimes our confidence is stripped from us because of our environment and the trauma that we experience.
00:06:29.600 --> 00:06:29.920
Exactly.
00:06:30.160 --> 00:06:41.680
You be you having to step up and run for office, how are you navigating that hurt little boy that we've talked about off camera before, and being able to fill that role and believe in yourself?
00:06:41.839 --> 00:06:42.720
Has it been a struggle?
00:06:42.879 --> 00:06:43.600
Elaborate on it.
00:06:43.759 --> 00:06:44.399
Yeah, that's real.
00:06:44.480 --> 00:06:54.879
So one one thing that I've uh I I need to get better at, um, but like what what I'm doing now is like doing videos to talk about like my experiences throughout the whole process, right?
00:06:55.120 --> 00:06:55.519
Therapeutic.
00:06:55.680 --> 00:06:59.279
Uh it's very therapeutic, and I and I could look back at it and all that good stuff.
00:06:59.360 --> 00:07:02.079
But uh uh it's tough, right?
00:07:02.319 --> 00:07:05.439
Because I've had people say to me, Yo, who do you think you are?
00:07:05.600 --> 00:07:05.920
Right?
00:07:06.079 --> 00:07:10.160
Like you you you don't have the potential to do something like this, right?
00:07:10.319 --> 00:07:13.439
Uh so it's reconfirming, my therapist told me this.
00:07:13.519 --> 00:07:13.920
Yeah, yeah.
00:07:14.319 --> 00:07:18.959
It's like reconfirming what your trauma traumatic situations already told you.
00:07:19.120 --> 00:07:20.079
Exactly, right?
00:07:20.240 --> 00:07:35.360
And then uh what what what I do right now, man, and I'm very strategic about this, I surround myself around uh like government-minded people who believe in what I believe in in terms of uh, you know, the way things should be, right?
00:07:35.439 --> 00:07:38.079
Like this very progressive, that's what they label it.
00:07:38.240 --> 00:07:40.240
I don't think it's uh progressive at all.
00:07:40.560 --> 00:07:46.800
I just think it's uh being uh human, being kind, being conscious of like others in the world, right?
00:07:46.959 --> 00:08:00.240
Um so I don't necessarily look at it as progressive more than I look at it as uh being being uh uh sensitive to everybody in the ecosystem and not just the ones who have the wealth or the power, right?
00:08:00.800 --> 00:08:06.160
Um uh and so when I think about like what they say, right?
00:08:06.319 --> 00:08:13.040
Um the people who I surround myself around, they they they speak um louder than those people at this point.
00:08:13.360 --> 00:08:18.240
I remember when I was young, I would like mull over all of the negative things that folks would say to me, right?
00:08:18.319 --> 00:08:26.079
Like being being from the projects, it wasn't like you knew that you were poor, you just somehow felt insignificant at times, or a lot of times, right?
00:08:26.240 --> 00:08:32.480
Like you you knew that there was lack, but you didn't understand like how how much lack, right?
00:08:32.639 --> 00:08:33.759
Or where the lack was.
00:08:33.840 --> 00:08:34.639
But you know what I mean?
00:08:34.879 --> 00:08:36.559
You didn't have to stand it to compare it to.
00:08:36.799 --> 00:08:37.600
Right, right, right.
00:08:38.000 --> 00:08:40.399
And and we had TV, right?
00:08:40.720 --> 00:08:44.960
And but we always just thought that that's that was an esoteric idea, we could never reach it.
00:08:45.360 --> 00:08:45.759
Exactly.
00:08:45.919 --> 00:08:51.360
And so I I think from then, right, like people told me not to go to Harvard, right?
00:08:51.679 --> 00:08:53.759
And I I put I did it, right?
00:08:53.919 --> 00:08:57.519
Um, someone told me that like my wife was too good for me, right?
00:08:57.600 --> 00:08:59.360
But I bagged her, you know what I'm saying?
00:08:59.840 --> 00:09:00.080
Right?
00:09:00.159 --> 00:09:03.200
It's so yo, I had yo, I have to, right?
00:09:03.279 --> 00:09:07.519
Because at the end of the day, she she she's holding me down in this at this point, right?
00:09:07.679 --> 00:09:13.519
Because like I'm I come home getting beat up, tired, whatever, and she's like, yo, babe, your your dinner is here, right?
00:09:13.600 --> 00:09:17.840
So it's like uh people have told me in the past what I couldn't do.
00:09:18.000 --> 00:09:22.000
Um and for some reason I've always had the will to just do it.
00:09:22.080 --> 00:09:25.039
And it's not really to prove them wrong or right, right?
00:09:25.120 --> 00:09:31.600
It's just to say, well, I know my value, and this is where I this is where I'm gonna exactly, this is where I'm gonna choose to go.
00:09:31.759 --> 00:09:37.440
I always say that that's uh it's just like a higher, whatever a person's faith, religion, spirituality.
00:09:37.600 --> 00:09:39.200
I feel like that's a divine thing.
00:09:39.519 --> 00:09:39.919
Absolutely.
00:09:40.159 --> 00:09:42.320
Because a lot of times people ask me, how did you do it?
00:09:42.399 --> 00:09:43.279
I'm I I don't know.
00:09:43.360 --> 00:09:43.600
Right.
00:09:43.759 --> 00:09:45.279
You know, this was just innate.
00:09:45.360 --> 00:09:46.559
It was just in me.
00:09:46.879 --> 00:09:50.240
Um the the other thing too, right?
00:09:50.399 --> 00:09:54.000
It's in you, but there are times where you just have to step out, right?
00:09:54.159 --> 00:10:00.480
Where you you're not sure of the next step, or you're not sure of uh where you're gonna get all the funds from or whatever, right?
00:10:00.559 --> 00:10:04.799
You're you're unsure about the the entire road, but you just take a leap of faith.
00:10:04.879 --> 00:10:10.320
You do it trembling, you do it unsure, you do it um nervous, uh all of that, all of that.
00:10:10.480 --> 00:10:11.840
Um, but you still do it.
00:10:12.639 --> 00:10:16.480
And so folks have to know that, like you could do it, bro.
00:10:16.720 --> 00:10:17.120
You can do it.
00:10:17.279 --> 00:10:17.840
You can do it.
00:10:18.000 --> 00:10:20.000
And even if you're scared, do it.
00:10:20.240 --> 00:10:20.960
Absolutely, right?
00:10:21.039 --> 00:10:23.679
Because who who's living with with regrets like that?
00:10:23.919 --> 00:10:24.720
You know what I'm saying?
00:10:24.879 --> 00:10:29.360
I had a close friend say to me, bro, I've never seen you scared before.
00:10:29.600 --> 00:10:34.240
And I'm like, I ha I experience fear, but I do it anyway.
00:10:34.320 --> 00:10:34.559
Yeah.
00:10:34.879 --> 00:10:35.279
You know?
00:10:35.440 --> 00:10:35.759
Yeah.
00:10:36.000 --> 00:10:39.519
Um trauma can have you build tolerance a little bit.
00:10:39.679 --> 00:10:40.000
Yeah.
00:10:40.320 --> 00:10:42.559
Um but on to the next thing.
00:10:42.639 --> 00:10:44.879
I don't, I know you're a busy man, I can't keep you too long.
00:10:45.120 --> 00:10:47.279
But this is a question I'm I ask most brothers.
00:10:47.360 --> 00:10:47.519
Uh-huh.
00:10:47.679 --> 00:10:49.840
And I'm gonna continue as I do more interviews.
00:10:50.639 --> 00:10:52.879
When was the last time you cried and why?
00:10:53.679 --> 00:10:55.039
So crazy, man.
00:10:55.679 --> 00:11:03.759
So I still have uh uh uh adverse uh uh uh experience for crying still, right?
00:11:03.919 --> 00:11:05.679
Um so you don't cry much?
00:11:05.919 --> 00:11:08.559
I I I don't know if I really know how to.
00:11:08.960 --> 00:11:10.240
And that that's real.
00:11:10.399 --> 00:11:19.759
Like, if I think tears are about to come out, I'll I'll s I'll either laugh or do something else to like, you know, cut to distract myself, right?
00:11:20.080 --> 00:11:24.080
Um and uh, yo, it's I don't know how healthy it is.
00:11:24.159 --> 00:11:32.240
I mean, I I found other ways, healthy ways to write, like manage stress or deal with trauma and all that, but in terms of crying, it's been a while.
00:11:32.480 --> 00:11:33.919
It's been a a long time.
00:11:34.240 --> 00:11:35.360
A really long time.
00:11:35.519 --> 00:11:36.879
I wish sometimes I could.
00:11:37.120 --> 00:11:39.120
Do you well let me rephrase it?
00:11:39.279 --> 00:12:01.039
Do you ever take time, and this might not be relevant to you to your uh your your journey, but do you ever feel like you have to take time to feel sad or to mourn or maybe you're not struggling with anything related to that, but do you ever really have to take time to reflect and just grieve?
00:12:01.360 --> 00:12:06.240
Yo, so the the reality is that we're taught to, you know what I mean, like get over stuff.
00:12:06.320 --> 00:12:06.559
Yeah, yeah.
00:12:07.039 --> 00:12:11.120
But through counseling, I realize that um I I can sit in that, yeah.
00:12:11.600 --> 00:12:13.919
Um I haven't been able to do it since the the the campaign.
00:12:14.080 --> 00:12:14.879
There's a lot going on, yeah.
00:12:15.120 --> 00:12:21.519
Yeah, uh, but I I I I I am uh going to use the time afterwards, right?
00:12:22.000 --> 00:12:24.559
To take some time to myself and do just that, man.
00:12:25.120 --> 00:12:29.759
Um and and it's it's not necessarily like win or lose grieving, right?
00:12:30.159 --> 00:12:32.000
It's really like the process, right?
00:12:32.960 --> 00:12:38.399
And like the hurt, the hurt, the hurting uh things that people say to me that I think I brush off.
00:12:38.480 --> 00:12:41.440
But like when I wake up is echoing in my head, right?
00:12:41.600 --> 00:12:41.840
Exactly.
00:12:42.080 --> 00:12:46.240
Or or how uh a person slams the door in my face, right?
00:12:46.399 --> 00:12:53.519
Even though I've gotten a lot of great, I got more positive than negatives, but somehow those negative things are still echoing in my head, right?
00:12:53.600 --> 00:12:55.600
And so like I'm gonna take time to do that.
00:12:55.679 --> 00:13:02.080
But I'm I'm intentional about uh taking that time to like just uh sit in my sit in my mess.
00:13:02.320 --> 00:13:02.720
Your mess.
00:13:02.879 --> 00:13:03.120
Yeah.
00:13:03.279 --> 00:13:10.720
And just to give context to to the listeners, um, you know, I do I try to discuss a lot of um inner child work.
00:13:11.360 --> 00:13:18.799
So usually when I'm talking about grief, uh I mean in a literal sense, like if you lost a parent like I did, that that's one thing.
00:13:19.120 --> 00:13:23.360
But a lot of times I understand like when we were children, we were hurt.
00:13:23.519 --> 00:13:23.679
Yeah.
00:13:23.919 --> 00:13:35.840
And I know for me, I suppressed a lot of it because I had I didn't have the time, like you said, to to mourn because uh crying don't pay the bills, crying don't achieve goals in our minds anyway.
00:13:35.919 --> 00:13:36.080
Right.
00:13:36.320 --> 00:13:49.039
So sometimes uh I feel like I do have to give myself that process that to be sad because I didn't I wasn't allowed to be sad when when I really needed to be.
00:13:49.360 --> 00:13:57.200
You know, because I felt like anywhere at the time that if I was sad, I wouldn't have been able to maneuver and navigate the trauma.
00:13:57.360 --> 00:13:57.600
Right.
00:13:57.759 --> 00:13:58.480
You know what I mean?
00:13:58.639 --> 00:13:58.799
Right.
00:13:58.879 --> 00:14:03.279
Uh I and I I gotta mentee now who feels like if he's sad, then he's gonna break down, right?
00:14:03.440 --> 00:14:09.759
So he chooses not to even go there because that was once me, right, back in the day.
00:14:09.919 --> 00:14:14.240
But uh I learned that uh it it never really leaves you, it just turns into something else.
00:14:14.559 --> 00:14:14.799
Something else.
00:14:14.879 --> 00:14:15.039
Right.
00:14:16.000 --> 00:14:17.360
It manifests itself in something else.
00:14:17.440 --> 00:14:21.360
So you you might want to be the best version of a dad, right, for your children.
00:14:21.519 --> 00:14:30.879
But because you didn't deal with your childhood trauma, it turn it it it re- uh it re uh forms itself in in the lives of your children.
00:14:30.960 --> 00:14:31.600
Yeah right?
00:14:31.840 --> 00:14:34.639
Or you know, or how you interact with them or whatever, right?
00:14:34.720 --> 00:14:41.120
And so those are the roadblocks that stops you from being the roadblocks that stop you from being the best version of yourself.
00:14:41.519 --> 00:14:42.720
Last question.
00:14:42.960 --> 00:14:46.080
Um Then we'll leave on a positive note after this.
00:14:46.799 --> 00:14:57.600
As a child, what was the most traumatic experience that comes to mind when, you know, like you're in therapy, the thing that probably hovers over you the most the context is that we've talked before.
00:14:57.759 --> 00:14:57.840
Yeah.
00:14:58.240 --> 00:15:01.440
But what is the thing that sticks out in your mind as traumatic for you growing up?
00:15:01.759 --> 00:15:09.039
Oh man, so that's a very hard question because as soon as you said that, like seven things just went went through my head.
00:15:09.279 --> 00:15:20.879
Uh but I remember being about uh uh 11, uh 12, and uh my my mom and my stepdad were fighting, right?
00:15:21.039 --> 00:15:23.360
And uh my mom is a strong woman, right?
00:15:23.440 --> 00:15:26.320
Um and he was very abusive to her growing up.
00:15:26.480 --> 00:15:34.240
Um and I remember like uh getting in between them to like try to stop him and like the rage that he looked at me with, right?
00:15:34.320 --> 00:15:38.080
Like, like I thought that he was legit gonna kill her and me at that point, right?
00:15:38.159 --> 00:15:42.480
Because I got in between them and he looked at me um in a in a crazy way.
00:15:42.559 --> 00:15:44.559
And uh like you can still see it now.
00:15:45.039 --> 00:15:46.639
I can still see, I could feel that, right?
00:15:46.879 --> 00:15:47.759
I could hear it, right?
00:15:47.840 --> 00:15:49.200
I could I know what it smelled like.
00:15:49.279 --> 00:15:49.840
You know what I mean?
00:15:49.919 --> 00:15:52.639
Like so, so uh, yeah, man.
00:15:52.720 --> 00:15:56.000
And so I'm very protective of the people I love, man.
00:15:56.159 --> 00:15:56.480
Gotcha.
00:15:56.639 --> 00:16:07.679
Like, you can't say whatever, even saying something to like my children or like my wife or whatever, or my friends for that matter, or you can't say nothing around my friend about me, I'm about my friends around me.
00:16:07.759 --> 00:16:08.159
You know what I'm saying?
00:16:08.399 --> 00:16:10.080
You're gonna go into defense immediately.
00:16:10.399 --> 00:16:10.960
Automatically.
00:16:11.200 --> 00:16:16.639
Because I I I'm I I the time that I could have or I thought I should have, I couldn't.
00:16:16.720 --> 00:16:16.879
Yeah.
00:16:17.039 --> 00:16:17.360
Right?
00:16:17.440 --> 00:16:19.279
I I couldn't do anything with that, right?
00:16:19.360 --> 00:16:22.720
And so like I'm very uh sensitive to that.
00:16:23.039 --> 00:16:25.519
Look up Steven Jackson.
00:16:25.600 --> 00:16:26.559
You know Steven Jackson?
00:16:26.639 --> 00:16:28.720
He has all the smoke podcasts with Matt Barnes.
00:16:29.519 --> 00:16:31.120
Oh yeah, yeah, I I've seen him, yeah.
00:16:31.360 --> 00:16:36.320
He talks about his brother, his brother was killed, I believe, in Texas somehow, and he couldn't help him.
00:16:36.799 --> 00:16:38.960
However, the incident went down, he couldn't get to him.
00:16:39.200 --> 00:16:54.080
And he made it to the NBA, and then he started to have a reputation as a quote-unquote thug, even though people didn't know his story, and he was just like he had he got into a big fight, the malice at the palace in the NBA, where like a fan hit one of his teammates and he defended him.
00:16:54.399 --> 00:17:00.879
And he always went back to how he was hurt because his brother got killed and he was never able to defend him.
00:17:01.279 --> 00:17:03.840
So it was very what you just said was very reminiscent of that.
00:17:04.160 --> 00:17:04.799
Oh yeah, man.
00:17:05.279 --> 00:17:05.680
Absolutely.
00:17:06.400 --> 00:17:13.839
But on a positive note, I just want people to understand that you know anybody can be a politician, right?
00:17:14.000 --> 00:17:17.519
Anybody can be in a position of power, absolutely, whatever authority.
00:17:17.839 --> 00:17:35.839
But to me, it's the symbolic, the symbolism in the journey of you coming from Booker T, going to Harvard, navigating traumatic situations like that, and getting where you are now is probably bigger than you even becoming a mayor or any any position ever.
00:17:36.000 --> 00:17:36.160
Right.
00:17:36.319 --> 00:17:39.359
That journey itself is the one that no one can take from you.
00:17:39.599 --> 00:17:40.640
Yeah, absolutely, man.
00:17:40.720 --> 00:17:44.720
And I I think I do a really good job at like I like that you tell yourself you do it.
00:17:45.119 --> 00:17:46.640
You we gotta be kind of like that.
00:17:47.359 --> 00:17:47.920
That's not narcissistic.
00:17:48.160 --> 00:17:49.440
That's you though, that's true, that's true.
00:17:50.079 --> 00:17:59.519
Yeah, I I think I do a really good job at like uh putting out to the world how like how I I uh the great parts of my life, right?
00:17:59.599 --> 00:17:59.839
Yeah.
00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:05.839
I I would like to do a better job at showing uh how I think about solving problems and issues, right?
00:18:06.000 --> 00:18:12.400
Um because ultimately um they they see like the the glitz and the glamour and they think celebrity, right?
00:18:12.559 --> 00:18:13.599
Or popular.
00:18:13.759 --> 00:18:16.960
But really, um I've I've been able it's it's a lot of ingenuity.
00:18:17.119 --> 00:18:18.240
Yeah, it's in genuine, right?
00:18:18.319 --> 00:18:21.039
It's it's is it's a lot of systemic things, right?
00:18:21.200 --> 00:18:28.160
Where I I've had conversations with you, like, listen, I'm about to do this, and then after that, I'm gonna do this, and I'm gonna move over here and I'm gonna do that.
00:18:28.240 --> 00:18:30.079
It's it's very strategic, right?
00:18:30.240 --> 00:18:38.960
And so uh I I I'm gonna start showing that that side of me more uh so that folks will know that uh that there's a system there.
00:18:39.279 --> 00:18:41.440
And I need other people to emulate that, right?
00:18:41.680 --> 00:18:42.000
100%.
00:18:42.400 --> 00:18:45.920
Um and so I I realize that genius in navigating trauma.
00:18:46.079 --> 00:18:46.880
That's right.
00:18:46.960 --> 00:18:52.240
Because I always say if I didn't have the trauma that I had, I'd probably be on Mars working for NASA.
00:18:52.480 --> 00:18:52.880
Yeah, right.
00:18:53.039 --> 00:18:53.359
NASA.
00:18:53.680 --> 00:18:57.200
But I had to use my genius to navigate the things that were pressed upon us.
00:18:57.359 --> 00:18:57.759
Absolutely.
00:18:57.920 --> 00:19:01.359
So that ingenuity that you that you have, you navigated the trauma.
00:19:01.519 --> 00:19:01.680
Right.
00:19:01.839 --> 00:19:06.240
Now you're gonna use it and show the world, like you said, that you can problem solve.
00:19:06.400 --> 00:19:08.799
And because you've already problem solved at the highest level.
00:19:08.880 --> 00:19:09.759
I don't care what nobody says.
00:19:09.920 --> 00:19:10.319
Yeah, man.
00:19:10.480 --> 00:19:11.039
Appreciate that.
00:19:11.200 --> 00:19:11.759
Appreciate that.
00:19:11.920 --> 00:19:15.920
And I at the end of the day, it's really not about it's not about the position, right?
00:19:16.160 --> 00:19:17.440
It really isn't, right?
00:19:17.759 --> 00:19:24.880
It's more about uh the ability to make decisions on the behalf of folks who can't otherwise, right?
00:19:25.039 --> 00:19:34.720
And being in a position um to to really create policy and and and change uh the trajectory of people's lives so that they don't have to go through what I went through.
00:19:35.200 --> 00:19:36.640
And that that's the goal, man.
00:19:36.720 --> 00:19:38.880
Absolutely that that's that's my chief goal.
00:19:39.039 --> 00:19:44.400
And so whether it's the mayor's position, if I get it now or not, I'll probably go again, right?
00:19:44.559 --> 00:19:50.240
Or if it's any other thing that will affect change in a major way, that's that's what we're doing, man.
00:19:50.480 --> 00:19:55.599
Because the goal here is not to create another generation that experience what we experience.
00:19:55.839 --> 00:19:57.039
Absolutely.
00:19:57.359 --> 00:20:08.720
Uh, before I close out this bias interview, um anything you want to tell the uh the voters, the the world, um, young people before you close out.
00:20:09.039 --> 00:20:15.200
So so when I when I think about this journey, man, um I'm gonna use this analogy that I heard T.D.
00:20:15.279 --> 00:20:16.160
Jakes uh use.
00:20:16.559 --> 00:20:16.880
T.D.
00:20:16.960 --> 00:20:17.680
Jakes is dope.
00:20:17.759 --> 00:20:18.559
Uh yeah, man.
00:20:18.880 --> 00:20:23.119
This one dope concept that I that that I that I'm walking with, right?
00:20:23.279 --> 00:20:26.240
So in general, when we think about the restaurant, right?
00:20:26.319 --> 00:20:29.839
We when we go into any restaurant, you know, it's clean, right?
00:20:29.920 --> 00:20:37.920
Is is the tables are wiped down, uh, you know, depending on where you go, is like, you know, the ambiance is lit, the the chandeliers, all that good stuff, right?
00:20:38.079 --> 00:20:42.079
Um, but then when you go into the kitchen, I don't care what kitchen you go to, right?
00:20:42.319 --> 00:20:44.240
Uh it's it's a mess back there.
00:20:44.400 --> 00:20:46.160
The greasy floors, right?
00:20:46.240 --> 00:20:48.160
It's it's noodles on the walls, right?
00:20:48.240 --> 00:20:49.039
It's like grease everywhere.
00:20:49.279 --> 00:20:49.839
Dirty sneakers.
00:20:50.240 --> 00:20:51.119
Dirty sneakers, right?
00:20:51.200 --> 00:20:53.839
You get you can't even dress a certain way going back there, right?
00:20:54.000 --> 00:20:57.279
Um, and so why why is that so important?
00:20:57.359 --> 00:21:03.119
Um, because in life, on the inside of us, right, it it feels like the kitchen a lot of times, right?
00:21:03.279 --> 00:21:06.000
And and we feel like, yo, it's I'm a mess.
00:21:06.079 --> 00:21:09.599
I, you know, I'm dirty, I got all of this going on, or whatever, right?
00:21:09.759 --> 00:21:13.359
But the reality is uh that's not what everybody else sees, right?
00:21:13.440 --> 00:21:14.880
That's not the person that you present.
00:21:15.119 --> 00:21:18.319
And so be okay with the kitchen experience, right?
00:21:18.400 --> 00:21:23.680
And and and know that like uh that that what you present to the world is the restaurant, right?
00:21:23.759 --> 00:21:25.119
And that no one sees the kitchen.
00:21:25.200 --> 00:21:26.799
I I don't we don't see a lot of the kitchens, right?
00:21:27.759 --> 00:21:32.319
Well, he said it in a more eloquent way, but I just like broke it down to in a very simple app.
00:21:34.000 --> 00:21:34.960
Yeah, that's it.
00:21:35.119 --> 00:21:36.319
Yeah, man, absolutely.
00:21:36.480 --> 00:21:38.079
And even with systems, right?
00:21:38.160 --> 00:21:42.640
Like when I started running for mayor, I'm like, yo, my back office is crazy right now.
00:21:42.799 --> 00:21:46.480
And then uh when we put on events, people are like, yo, it's one of the best events we ever had.
00:21:46.640 --> 00:21:50.400
Meanwhile, I'm I'm texting this person with screaming at this person, right?
00:21:50.480 --> 00:22:00.720
So that's the kitchen experience, and just know that like the restaurant and the kitchen are two different things, even though you know, essentially uh you prepare for the restaurant in the kitchen.
00:22:00.880 --> 00:22:01.599
You know what I mean?
00:22:01.759 --> 00:22:03.279
So that's what we're doing right now.
00:22:03.519 --> 00:22:04.400
That's dope, man.
