WEBVTT
00:00:31.519 --> 00:00:34.960
Well, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, everybody.
00:00:35.119 --> 00:00:43.759
Thank you for tuning in for another episode of Her Path, Her Pace, where growth meets grace, and I am your host, Shay.
00:00:44.320 --> 00:00:48.000
And thank you for joining me on another lovely Tuesday.
00:00:49.119 --> 00:00:50.640
How are you guys feeling?
00:00:50.880 --> 00:00:52.880
I am feeling okay.
00:00:53.039 --> 00:00:54.880
We're gonna keep it rocking and rolling.
00:00:55.039 --> 00:00:56.880
And I told you guys I'd be back.
00:00:56.960 --> 00:00:58.320
And look, I'm back.
00:00:59.920 --> 00:01:01.920
So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:01:02.079 --> 00:01:05.599
Let's go ahead and get started with Live Lately.
00:01:06.799 --> 00:01:07.920
So, y'all.
00:01:08.159 --> 00:01:10.560
Oh, what is going on in my world right now?
00:01:10.719 --> 00:01:12.959
So we got two things, all right.
00:01:13.120 --> 00:01:18.640
So I'm currently watching 90 Day Hunt for Love, right?
00:01:19.200 --> 00:01:25.040
And I don't know, maybe I'm new to this, but one, I I didn't start, I didn't watch season one first off.
00:01:25.120 --> 00:01:26.560
We just I didn't start watching season one.
00:01:26.640 --> 00:01:32.799
I started at season two because I was looking for something to watch on my lunch break and da da da da and I came across it, whatever.
00:01:32.879 --> 00:01:34.879
And I was like, I'm not going all the way back to season one.
00:01:35.120 --> 00:01:37.920
So if season one is good, let me know.
00:01:38.000 --> 00:01:43.200
And I let me know in the comments down below, and I might go back and watch season one after I finish watching season two.
00:01:43.599 --> 00:01:49.200
But yeah, um, also if season two is pretty good, I might just go back and watch season one, but we'll see.
00:01:49.359 --> 00:01:57.439
I don't know, because right now, the way I feel, like just my comment, like okay, so this is how I feel.
00:01:57.680 --> 00:02:09.360
Chloe, I think that's her name, the blonde, excuse me, the blonde who has like the long list of icks and all of these things.
00:02:09.599 --> 00:02:16.879
Um, I also want to preface this and say, I'm only in the middle of season two, episode two, so I literally just started it.
00:02:17.039 --> 00:02:21.360
So things could change, maybe her personality comes out more, maybe it's a little different.
00:02:21.520 --> 00:02:50.879
But my very first impression of watching her is that it gives very much so she's used to guys fawning over her, like going crazy about her, and there's nothing wrong with that if that's something she's used to, but it gives a very much so what's so crazy is one of the guys, I think his name was Roz, he said it mean girl, it gave mean girl, and it very much so does it gives very much so.
00:02:51.120 --> 00:02:56.719
I don't necessarily want to say bitchy, but kinda sorta, just a bit.
00:02:56.879 --> 00:03:01.520
It's like I don't know, it's like she just she's so superficial.
00:03:01.599 --> 00:03:02.159
That's what it is.
00:03:02.240 --> 00:03:08.319
It gives very superficial, and it's like, what are you being this way because you're so guarded?
00:03:08.560 --> 00:03:10.240
Or like, are you really this way?
00:03:10.400 --> 00:03:21.840
Like when she was like her Icklis, like I understand having an Ickus, but the guy who walked her back to her room and he asked her, he kissed her on the cheek, like that's very much so southern charm.
00:03:22.080 --> 00:03:30.800
Like, I granted not everybody does that, and it's not just a very common thing, but how can you say you like the good old southern boy?
00:03:30.879 --> 00:03:35.120
And then when he does a very southern thing, you're immediately turned off by it.
00:03:35.280 --> 00:03:50.000
That doesn't make sense, and just I don't know, I kind of just don't like when she comes on the screen because it very much so gives I'm used to being the center of attention and nobody's paying me any attention, and I don't like that.
00:03:50.319 --> 00:03:58.560
And she is kind of like I wouldn't necessarily say bitchy, but it definitely people were like, How are you confusing wit with that?
00:03:58.639 --> 00:04:00.479
I was like, where did y'all get witty from?
00:04:00.639 --> 00:04:13.759
Because it's not giving funny, it's not giving witty, it's not giving sarcastic, it's giving very much so um, it's giving very much so uh what's what am I looking for?
00:04:14.240 --> 00:04:23.360
Um I don't oh nasty, nice, nice, nasty.
00:04:23.439 --> 00:04:24.240
That's what it is.
00:04:24.480 --> 00:04:27.360
That's the that's the turn of phrase I'm that I'm trying to figure out.
00:04:27.439 --> 00:04:29.920
Yes, it's giving very much so nice nasty.
00:04:30.319 --> 00:04:31.839
And I ain't rocking with it.
00:04:31.920 --> 00:04:32.639
I don't like it.
00:04:32.879 --> 00:04:36.639
Maybe it changes as I keep watching the season, but right now, no.
00:04:37.040 --> 00:04:38.639
She's I'm not a fan of her.
00:04:38.959 --> 00:04:40.079
And then Emma.
00:04:40.240 --> 00:04:43.279
Oh, Emma, Emily, I think her name is Emma.
00:04:43.839 --> 00:04:44.560
Baby.
00:04:45.360 --> 00:04:48.240
Baby, baby girl.
00:04:49.199 --> 00:05:31.920
You literally went crazy over a guy who you hooked up with his friend, like consistently hooked up with his friend before, and then it came out in the middle of episode two that she had met up with him and they had hooked up, and that was part of the reason why she was crying and stuff like that, and acting the way she was acting, but it still to me doesn't justify being crazy over a guy after a couple of days, it's still like all morals aside, because like honestly, girl, that that's you, and it ain't got like you don't owe the dude any responsibility.
00:05:32.079 --> 00:05:34.639
The guy who's his friend, Jamal, I believe is his name.
00:05:34.720 --> 00:05:39.120
Jamal is the one who owes his friend, you know, loyalty and all the respect and all that.
00:05:39.279 --> 00:05:40.480
You don't owe him nothing.
00:05:40.639 --> 00:05:44.399
So if you want to hook up with him and then hook up with his friend, honestly, so be it.
00:05:44.480 --> 00:05:45.759
That's you, that's your business.
00:05:45.920 --> 00:05:48.879
Like I said, you don't owe him nothing because y'all not together.
00:05:49.040 --> 00:05:53.920
And Jamal, you so you no longer have loyalty to the person that you was hooking up with before.
00:05:54.240 --> 00:05:55.600
That's that's on Jamal.
00:05:55.680 --> 00:06:04.399
So don't don't let them put I I hope she doesn't let like that be a thing that she allows people to put on her, because that's not that ain't got nothing to do with her.
00:06:04.959 --> 00:06:07.040
Okay, that ain't got nothing to do with her.
00:06:07.199 --> 00:06:10.079
It's not her fault if the friend didn't want her, and now the other friend do.
00:06:10.560 --> 00:06:11.279
So bad.
00:06:11.439 --> 00:06:12.480
Um, so sad.
00:06:12.720 --> 00:06:24.959
However, comma, Emma, baby girl, you are being very, like this is giving very red flags, very toxic, very much so, like this is a lot to be happening.
00:06:25.360 --> 00:06:33.199
Even if y'all did hook up prior to actual night one, day one, it was only maybe two or three days before.
00:06:34.720 --> 00:06:39.680
Unless y'all had developed like real feelings prior to getting to the show, it doesn't make sense.
00:06:39.759 --> 00:06:54.879
It doesn't make sense for you to be in the like, and then it doesn't make sense for you to be put off to the side crying, boo hooing over him, and then also the way you went about once again.
00:06:54.959 --> 00:07:07.759
Maybe they want to paint you out to be crazy in this bad guy, but the way it was at the episode was edited, it didn't seem it wasn't giving you were you were the rude person and you were the aggressive person in the situation.
00:07:07.920 --> 00:07:12.879
It wasn't giving um that they were rude towards you, it was just the necklace.
00:07:12.959 --> 00:07:20.639
It would the necklace didn't mean anything other than you had interest in that person, it didn't mean you have to go to bed with them, it didn't guarantee a day, it didn't none of those things.
00:07:20.800 --> 00:07:30.959
So I understand having hurt feelings behind somebody taking their necklace back and just like feeling more so embarrassed about it, but you didn't have to burst her.
00:07:31.040 --> 00:07:32.959
Uh I can't even remember that girl's name.
00:07:33.040 --> 00:07:35.600
It's not Brittany, I don't believe.
00:07:35.759 --> 00:07:40.240
Um, but you didn't have to, you didn't have to be disrespectful towards her.
00:07:40.319 --> 00:07:44.240
The way you said she was being disrespectful towards you, we did not see that on camera.
00:07:44.399 --> 00:07:45.920
That was not in the final edit.
00:07:46.079 --> 00:07:48.480
That's not how it was portrayed, and that's not how it played out.
00:07:48.720 --> 00:07:51.680
It did not come across as if she was being disrespectful to you.
00:07:51.839 --> 00:08:09.439
She literally walked up to the she literally walked up to Roz, asked for her necklace back, and Jamal walked up to you and asked for his necklace back, and Roz just was like, Okay, but you made a scene, and it seemed like you made it something that like more than it needed to be, and that was really more so the issue, you know?
00:08:09.759 --> 00:08:11.839
You know, so I don't know.
00:08:12.000 --> 00:08:17.040
But like I said, I'm only in the middle of season two, episode two, so we still got a ways to go.
00:08:17.279 --> 00:08:22.720
I also didn't know that this was all like I didn't know the 90-day thing had a whole like thing.
00:08:22.879 --> 00:08:25.040
I I mean, like franchise.
00:08:25.120 --> 00:08:26.959
I really only thought it was 90 Day Fiance.
00:08:27.680 --> 00:08:34.960
I didn't know all of this was interconnected, and not only is it interconnected, there's other shows within the 90-day franchise.
00:08:35.120 --> 00:08:39.919
Um, I didn't know that, so I have quite a bit of homework to do but then look into.
00:08:40.159 --> 00:08:42.639
I'm excited and I'm very interested in doing that.
00:08:42.879 --> 00:08:46.240
Yeah, so that's what's going on in my TV world of life.
00:08:46.399 --> 00:08:49.120
What happened in my life, y'all, this past week?
00:08:49.360 --> 00:08:58.080
So I'm at work we had we played 2K, I think it was 2K26, but we had a 2K26 tournament at work.
00:08:58.159 --> 00:08:59.919
So we was playing the PlayStation, right?
00:09:00.000 --> 00:09:00.320
Right.
00:09:00.480 --> 00:09:02.480
And so I mean, your girl took a chance.
00:09:02.559 --> 00:09:04.559
I ain't never played 2K a day in my life.
00:09:04.720 --> 00:09:05.440
But let me hurry.
00:09:05.600 --> 00:09:07.519
I ain't never played 2K a day in my life.
00:09:07.679 --> 00:09:11.679
But one of my coworkers, she needed a partner because the boys was like, no, you can't be on my team.
00:09:11.759 --> 00:09:13.279
I don't want to be on your team because you don't know what you're doing.
00:09:13.440 --> 00:09:17.039
I was like, you know what, girl, I'll sign up, I'll play with you, I'll be on your team, cool, whatever.
00:09:17.200 --> 00:09:20.320
So it came down in that day, and we were supposed to play.
00:09:20.639 --> 00:09:23.039
And let me just say, we won.
00:09:23.200 --> 00:09:27.440
Well, we didn't win, but we made it to the championship round, okay?
00:09:27.679 --> 00:09:42.480
Two girls who ain't never played 2K in a day in their life, and I ain't got nobody to teach me how to play 2K, and she ain't got nobody to teach her how to play 2K, and we had like a quick little five, 10-minute tutorial on how to play 2K, and and we made it to the championship round.
00:09:42.559 --> 00:09:43.840
So boom, bam.
00:09:44.000 --> 00:09:50.000
If I could have figured out how to run, like control my player running, probably would have won.
00:09:50.720 --> 00:09:53.840
I probably wouldn't have won, but maybe just my back.
00:09:55.679 --> 00:10:03.200
But, anyways, nah, so before we got started, plan, I did get a little irritated, like it was an irritating moment that happened.
00:10:03.440 --> 00:10:10.639
My co-workers, okay, so we were all set in brackets that our HR person had generated, and it was at random, whatever.
00:10:10.799 --> 00:10:18.559
So the guy who was hosting getting over it, he already didn't go by the brackets because for whatever reason he didn't have it to even go by.
00:10:18.799 --> 00:10:21.360
Okay, so he but he also wanted to be fair.
00:10:21.440 --> 00:10:38.320
So instead of putting the girls versus the guys in the first round, he did the guys versus guys in the first round, and then girls versus girls in the next round, and then we was knocking each other out like that because none of the girls, none of well, I keep saying girls, we're all grown women, none of us knew how to play 2K, but the boys clearly they do.
00:10:38.559 --> 00:10:42.559
So um he was like, let's just make it a little more fair and da da da da.
00:10:43.200 --> 00:10:53.840
And so, but when our HR guy came in and tried to tell us how to do the brackets because he wasn't there at the initial start of it, I was explaining to him, no, that's not how it would go because they already played.
00:10:54.000 --> 00:10:59.679
And then I fell back because I was like, This isn't my event, I'm not hosting, I'm not leading, I'm not the one supposed to be communicated.
00:11:01.200 --> 00:11:05.679
So, however, I thought it was clearly communicated to him how it should go.
00:11:05.840 --> 00:11:09.120
It still apparently was not clearly communicated to him how it should go.
00:11:09.279 --> 00:11:18.639
So, right, we all in the room, in the conference room, about to play the game, and so the it was only it was three teams of women, two male teams, right?
00:11:18.720 --> 00:11:23.600
So, two male teams obviously they play first, it's an odd team out, so they don't have anybody to play.
00:11:23.679 --> 00:11:26.399
So that means somebody's gonna have to play twice.
00:11:26.720 --> 00:11:37.600
Okay, so it only makes sense the way it was set up since my teammate, me and my my teammate and I were on the first bracket with another male team.
00:11:37.840 --> 00:11:43.120
Since we didn't play that first round, the other male team was they played that first round, right?
00:11:43.200 --> 00:11:48.080
So that means that my team should move to where that male team's bracket is, correct?
00:11:48.320 --> 00:11:50.799
Correct, okay, common sense.
00:11:50.960 --> 00:11:53.600
Oops, sorry, common sense, right?
00:11:53.759 --> 00:11:54.240
Right.
00:11:54.559 --> 00:12:11.279
So when I said that, I kept being told by the other two women in there, no, that's not how it's supposed to because the way since the brackets and stuff got messed up, and obviously there's an odd team out, they automatically went to the championship and they didn't have to actually have an initial first round.
00:12:11.519 --> 00:12:12.799
Not fair, not right.
00:12:12.879 --> 00:12:13.919
We're not doing it.
00:12:14.080 --> 00:12:14.480
Cool.
00:12:14.720 --> 00:12:17.120
All right, so I was like, no, that's not how it works.
00:12:17.279 --> 00:12:20.720
Explain to them everything, and they kept telling me, no, that's not right.
00:12:20.799 --> 00:12:24.720
That's not what da-da-da-da said, that's not what he said, that's not how it's supposed to go.
00:12:24.879 --> 00:12:27.279
No, we in the championship already, we're not supposed to play.
00:12:28.159 --> 00:12:28.639
Pause.
00:12:28.799 --> 00:12:29.440
Hold on.
00:12:29.600 --> 00:12:33.440
So I got my, I was like, no, like that's wrong.
00:12:33.519 --> 00:12:34.240
That's not how it goes.
00:12:34.320 --> 00:12:41.440
And I was like, that's what I was trying to explain to him, but this person didn't clearly say that to them, so it still was misconstrued, and there was still a misunderstanding.
00:12:41.519 --> 00:12:42.960
And they was like, no, that's not right, da da da.
00:12:43.519 --> 00:12:46.399
So I got my till up out of my seat.
00:12:46.639 --> 00:12:47.440
I sure did.
00:12:47.600 --> 00:12:56.159
Grab the bracket paper, put it in between both of them so they could visually see how I was right, and me explaining it.
00:12:56.399 --> 00:12:59.759
And they still were like, Oh no, that's not what he said, that's not what he said.
00:13:00.240 --> 00:13:01.440
Okay, cool.
00:13:01.840 --> 00:13:03.039
So I go sit back down.
00:13:03.120 --> 00:13:04.480
And I was like, I'm right.
00:13:04.799 --> 00:13:06.080
Cool, whatever.
00:13:06.320 --> 00:13:11.360
So one of the guys comes back in from the other team that won and made it to the next round, so we can go ahead and get through.
00:13:13.519 --> 00:13:18.720
He explains and says the exact same thing that I do.
00:13:19.759 --> 00:13:21.360
Do you know what those two women did?
00:13:21.919 --> 00:13:23.440
You know what those two women said.
00:13:24.480 --> 00:13:24.799
Okay.
00:13:27.679 --> 00:13:27.919
Okay.
00:13:30.639 --> 00:13:33.600
One I felt like they was trying to little girl me.
00:13:34.320 --> 00:13:38.080
Uh I don't I don't take disrespect lightly.
00:13:38.240 --> 00:13:41.759
Like, it's one, like, because at work I am very to myself.
00:13:41.919 --> 00:13:43.120
I don't say too much.
00:13:43.279 --> 00:13:49.200
Yes, I talk to a few people, but it's been over time that I've grown to really talk to them.
00:13:49.360 --> 00:13:54.559
Still don't talk to them as much, and they don't really realize that I'm slowly coming out of my show and talking to them.
00:13:54.720 --> 00:13:55.919
Well, not even coming out of my show.
00:13:56.000 --> 00:13:59.679
It's just I'm very particular and like I just feel like work.
00:14:00.320 --> 00:14:03.840
I've had bad experiences with work relationships and things going outside of work.
00:14:03.919 --> 00:14:09.759
So it's just like as a precaution, I just kind of is it's kind of very surface level in there with me for work.
00:14:11.039 --> 00:14:17.360
But I think everybody takes me being to myself as like you know, oh, she's a pushover.
00:14:17.440 --> 00:14:21.840
And then two, I'm very happy, positive, go lucky.
00:14:22.000 --> 00:14:27.840
Like I genuinely have well, I generally have a very positive light energy about me.
00:14:28.000 --> 00:14:35.360
And so I think people also take my kindness for weakness, and they don't understand that no, it's a choice to come in here this way.
00:14:35.519 --> 00:14:47.039
I choose to be nice, I choose to be kind, um, and I choose to keep my opinions to myself because all in all, ultimately, I really don't care to share.
00:14:47.919 --> 00:14:49.759
I don't care to share.
00:14:50.000 --> 00:14:55.840
Um, and but I feel like they feel like they could little girl me because of those things, and baby, no, you don't know me.
00:14:56.080 --> 00:15:06.879
Oh, I have absolutely no problem sticking up for myself and speaking when I feel like something is wrong, or if I have a different opinion, if I decide to give something in my energy.
00:15:07.039 --> 00:15:10.960
And because I feel like you're intentionally trying to little girl me, you can get my energy.
00:15:11.120 --> 00:15:14.000
So I gave it, and I don't think they like that too much.
00:15:14.240 --> 00:15:18.960
I didn't give a I didn't care because I didn't care, I didn't care at all.
00:15:19.120 --> 00:15:24.559
And then two, I can't stand, I can't stand or pick me up.
00:15:25.039 --> 00:15:26.720
Well me, I really can't.
00:15:26.799 --> 00:15:34.799
Like the fact that he came in and said the exact same thing that I said, and you just took what he said for word, like for like for law.
00:15:34.960 --> 00:15:38.000
But me saying it, you argued me up and down that I was wrong.
00:15:38.159 --> 00:15:44.080
And so, you know, after they tell him, okay, okay, I literally said I said that exact same thing, y'all weren't listening.
00:15:44.240 --> 00:15:46.399
And they're like, No, you didn't say that, that was wrong.
00:15:46.480 --> 00:15:47.200
That's not what he's.
00:15:47.440 --> 00:15:52.720
I said, I literally said exactly what he said, but y'all kept telling me I was wrong.
00:15:52.960 --> 00:15:53.759
But okay.
00:15:53.919 --> 00:15:57.919
And then I left it at that because there was nothing else that needed to be said, nothing else that needed to be good.
00:15:58.159 --> 00:16:05.200
Because I was right, they were wrong, and they were being disrespectful, and I had no problem calling them out, and they didn't like that.
00:16:05.360 --> 00:16:06.639
It's cool, it's fine.
00:16:06.879 --> 00:16:07.840
It is what it is.
00:16:08.000 --> 00:16:10.720
I mean, everything all good, and we fine and dandy now.
00:16:10.799 --> 00:16:12.799
I just it irritated me in that moment.
00:16:12.879 --> 00:16:15.759
I definitely got irritated in that moment, and I was just like, bro, what?
00:16:15.919 --> 00:16:16.960
Like, I cannot believe this.
00:16:17.360 --> 00:16:19.200
Like, that's crazy.
00:16:19.440 --> 00:16:21.039
But it's cool, it is what it is.
00:16:21.120 --> 00:16:24.720
But yeah, that's really all that's going on in my world right now.
00:16:24.960 --> 00:16:26.240
How are you guys doing?
00:16:26.399 --> 00:16:27.600
How's life going for you?
00:16:27.759 --> 00:16:30.399
Has there been any crazy things happening at work for you?
00:16:30.559 --> 00:16:32.960
Any coworkers that you got a little bit of tension with?
00:16:33.039 --> 00:16:37.440
You know, well, maybe not even attention, but you know, a little irritation things like that that might have happened.
00:16:37.600 --> 00:16:44.639
Anybody be trying to look girl you or little boy you and you gotta buff up their chest just a little bit, get them to know hold up, that ain't that.
00:16:44.720 --> 00:16:45.440
This ain't what it is.
00:16:45.600 --> 00:16:46.799
Oh no, just me.
00:16:46.879 --> 00:16:53.919
Well, if it's not just me, let me know down in the comments below and talk to your girl and tell me what else is going on in your world.
00:16:54.399 --> 00:17:02.080
Okay, so now that we are all caught up with each other, let's go ahead and talk about those glow-up goals.
00:17:03.120 --> 00:17:11.759
So, for this week's glow up goal, we are going to glow up in action and we are going to do a practice of releasing.
00:17:12.160 --> 00:17:32.799
And so for this week, I want you to take your journal and have a journal prompt of writing out all of the things that you all of the things or something or at least one thing that throughout this year, throughout this time, throughout this current season, maybe even just yesterday, that you had to release and let go of and walk away from or whatever and grow from.
00:17:32.960 --> 00:17:36.240
And I just want you to write it down and release it on paper.
00:17:36.400 --> 00:17:49.599
Take a step back and take a moment to reflect on what you have learned from it and check in and to see how it can show how it shows up in your in your life now and how you have changed your reaction to it.
00:17:49.759 --> 00:17:56.799
Um, or you can write about something that you need to release and things like that, and something that you may want to release.
00:17:56.960 --> 00:18:22.240
And if you want to, even if you don't want to necessarily write it down in your journal, I believe we've done I've made this a thing before where if it's something you want to break and let go of, you can write it on on a um a glass plate, go break it outside, and that could be you physically releasing it, or you can write it on paper and then follow it up by burning it and letting it fly away and burn away and release and let it go in that way.
00:18:22.400 --> 00:18:26.720
However, you want to write it out, get it out to release and let go.
00:18:26.880 --> 00:18:35.519
Um, this thing that you either have grown from, are growing from, or want to grow from, and learn how to let go and release.
00:18:35.680 --> 00:18:38.160
That is our glow up in action for this week.
00:18:38.319 --> 00:18:41.200
That is our prompt, that is our activity.
00:18:41.599 --> 00:18:43.119
Okay, okay.
00:18:43.359 --> 00:18:49.680
So now that we are all glowing, growing and going, let's go ahead and see who we are in step with on today.
00:19:01.119 --> 00:19:11.200
Okay, so for this week's shared steps, I want to take the time to give flowers to the Tracy, Ellis Ross.
00:19:11.839 --> 00:19:15.119
Now, I absolutely love Tracy.
00:19:15.359 --> 00:19:22.480
I feel like she's one of those people who just genuinely enjoys being herself, and I adore that about her.
00:19:22.720 --> 00:19:28.720
Of course, a lot of us know her as Joan Clayton from Girlfriends or Rainbow Johnson from Blackish.
00:19:28.960 --> 00:19:35.519
And listen, Joan Clayton alone deserves a whole conversation because that woman was stressed.
00:19:36.880 --> 00:19:47.440
But seriously, Tracy has had such an incredible career, and I think sometimes her personality and how funny she is can overshadow just how much she's accomplished.
00:19:47.599 --> 00:19:51.599
She's an actress, producer, entrepreneur, and golden globe winner.
00:19:51.680 --> 00:19:55.279
And yes, she's the daughter of the legendary Diana Ross.
00:19:55.440 --> 00:20:00.160
But she's also spent decades building a career, an identity that's completely her own.
00:20:00.400 --> 00:20:06.240
And something else I really want to highlight is her hair care brand, Pattern Beauty, which she launched in 2019.
00:20:06.480 --> 00:20:17.839
What I love about Pattern is that it came from her own experiences with her natural hair and recognizing that there was a need for products that actually celebrated and catered to curly, coily, and tightly textured hair.
00:20:18.000 --> 00:20:24.400
And I think that's pretty cool because she took something that was personal to her and created something that could serve so many other women.
00:20:24.640 --> 00:20:37.359
But beyond her career and business ventures, I also appreciate how open she's been about embracing the life that she's created for herself, even when it doesn't necessarily look like what society expects a woman's life to look like.
00:20:37.599 --> 00:20:45.119
She's spoken about being single and not having children and simply learning to appreciate the life she has rather than treating it like something is missing.
00:20:45.359 --> 00:20:50.000
And I think that's a conversation that deserves more attention, especially for women.
00:20:50.160 --> 00:20:57.039
Because there are so many expectations placed on us about what our lives are supposed to look like and when we're supposed to reach certain milestones.
00:20:57.200 --> 00:21:07.119
And I appreciate that Tracy Ellis Ross has been willing to have those conversations while continuing to live her life and pursue her passions and simply just be herself.
00:21:07.440 --> 00:21:24.880
So this week's flowers go to Tracy Ellis Ross for the career she's built, the representation she's contributed to, the opportunities she's created, and for reminding us that there just isn't just one way to live a life full and meaningful.
00:21:25.759 --> 00:21:27.200
Keep doing your thing, Tracy.
00:21:27.440 --> 00:21:28.000
We see you.
00:21:28.319 --> 00:21:59.039
Okay, so now that we are all in step, let's go ahead and set the mood with some so for this week's her playlist, and all in the theme of you know learning from the past and letting go and moving on and all of the things, I wanted to start this playlist with thank you next by Ariana Grande.
00:21:59.440 --> 00:22:19.680
Because Even though you know it's centered around her exes and things like that, it takes a lighthearted kind of fun perspective on it and take on it, but it still talks about some very like key things about letting go and learning from the past and admitting mistakes and moving on.
00:22:19.839 --> 00:22:28.720
Like, because even Ariana has changed the lyric um when she performs it live now, the one that's about her dad, you know.
00:22:28.799 --> 00:22:38.880
So she's changed those lyrics over time when she's performed it live because the relationship has changed and has grown and she's learned different things and she's moved on to a different place in her life and a different space about it.
00:22:39.200 --> 00:22:41.359
And so that's why that song is there.
00:22:41.599 --> 00:22:44.319
And then the next song is Just Fine by Mary J.
00:22:44.400 --> 00:22:45.039
Blosh.
00:22:45.200 --> 00:22:53.839
Because, yeah, when you like learn to let go, release expectations, release things, release invisible pressures and all that.
00:22:54.000 --> 00:22:59.839
Maybe you can learn to be just fine with yourself because you like what you see when you're walking past that mirror.
00:23:00.079 --> 00:23:01.200
And where do I learn?
00:23:01.440 --> 00:23:39.119
Just I love see I won't change my life, my life's just my won't change my life, my life, just you know, because it's just release and let it go, and you will be just fine, and just maybe one day you'll learn to love yourself and the person that you see.
00:23:39.279 --> 00:23:40.400
We want that's the mamma.
00:23:41.279 --> 00:23:45.039
No stress, don't let it get you pressed.
00:23:45.200 --> 00:23:49.440
Okay, so yeah, those are the songs in our playlist this week.
00:23:49.519 --> 00:23:51.920
There's thank you next by Ariana Grande.
00:23:52.480 --> 00:23:56.079
Thank you next and just fine by Mary J.
00:23:56.160 --> 00:23:57.039
Blash.
00:23:57.440 --> 00:23:58.559
Just fine.
00:24:01.920 --> 00:24:02.559
Yeah.
00:24:03.759 --> 00:24:09.680
So now that the mood has been set, let's go ahead and walk through this thing, y'all.
00:24:16.319 --> 00:24:16.640
Okay.
00:24:18.160 --> 00:24:19.599
So here we are.
00:24:19.759 --> 00:24:23.119
And let me say, so I may be 26.
00:24:23.200 --> 00:24:26.319
I know that's that's pretty, pretty young, pretty young.
00:24:26.559 --> 00:24:38.480
Um, but you know, over this past like few, six years, I want to say, just about, I've learned to just let go and not give certain things my energy.
00:24:38.799 --> 00:24:44.400
And I just I want to share some of the things that I've been like, you know what?
00:24:44.480 --> 00:24:49.359
I really don't care about how other people may feel about it or whatever.
00:24:49.599 --> 00:24:54.640
And it's not the typical heartbreak, heavy, deep conversation that you're probably expecting.
00:24:54.880 --> 00:24:55.519
It's not.
00:24:55.759 --> 00:24:56.079
Okay.
00:24:56.720 --> 00:25:02.960
So first thing on this list of things that I've learned to not care about pooping in public.
00:25:03.920 --> 00:25:08.240
In public, like, maybe if I gotta go, oh baby, I'm gonna go.
00:25:08.799 --> 00:25:14.240
I keep my wipes and I keep my travel size toilet seat covers with me.
00:25:14.559 --> 00:25:16.880
Because baby, if I gotta go, I gotta go.
00:25:17.039 --> 00:25:22.160
And I tr I keep hand sanitizer on deck at all times in case I can't wash my hands.
00:25:22.400 --> 00:25:32.079
Because you know, some places you can't wash your hands because they don't have soap or whatever, and whatever the re rhyme or reason, keep keep all your sanitary products and things with you and all you.
00:25:32.319 --> 00:25:36.960
It's always something in my purse, it's something in my car, and even at work, it's always something in my vest.
00:25:37.119 --> 00:25:40.319
Okay, always there right there with me whenever I need it.
00:25:40.640 --> 00:25:41.519
Thank you.
00:25:41.759 --> 00:25:42.240
Thank you.
00:25:42.400 --> 00:25:47.839
We are all human, we are all too grown to be ashamed to poop.
00:25:48.160 --> 00:25:50.880
Baby, your body breaks down food the same way mine does.
00:25:51.200 --> 00:25:52.480
At least I hope so.
00:25:52.640 --> 00:25:55.759
If you're very regular, so yeah.
00:25:55.920 --> 00:25:57.599
I just if I gotta poop, I gotta go.
00:25:57.839 --> 00:25:58.880
If I gotta go, I gotta go.
00:25:58.960 --> 00:26:02.400
I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go right now, gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now.
00:26:02.480 --> 00:26:05.359
And I guarantee you, gonna go right now.
00:26:05.920 --> 00:26:06.880
It is what it is.
00:26:07.039 --> 00:26:08.240
Okay, okay.
00:26:08.640 --> 00:26:11.920
Oh, also I keep the like poopery spray on me too.
00:26:12.160 --> 00:26:18.000
Um I'm at least a little bit considerate, even though I don't really have to be, because like I said, we all do it.
00:26:20.559 --> 00:26:32.640
Um the second thing that I've learned to let go, like the pressure of just looking cute everywhere I go, or not even just necessarily looking cute everywhere I go, looking put together all the time.
00:26:32.799 --> 00:26:37.920
Because sometimes maybe I I don't care that whole thing, oh you never know.
00:26:38.079 --> 00:26:39.440
You might run into your husband.
00:26:39.599 --> 00:26:41.839
My husband is gonna love me regardless.
00:26:42.079 --> 00:26:44.160
My person is gonna love me regardless.
00:26:44.400 --> 00:26:46.400
You might run into the love of your life.
00:26:46.640 --> 00:26:47.519
Oh my gosh.
00:26:47.759 --> 00:26:53.119
Well, if the love of my life doesn't see my beauty in my bonnet, oh freaking well.
00:26:53.440 --> 00:27:10.799
If I got these sweatpants with holes in my oh freaking well, like I just don't care, and like that whole politic conversation about wearing your bonnet out in public and stuff like that, is just like be so for real, y'all.
00:27:11.039 --> 00:27:18.240
We know what the underlying reason is behind that conversation, and it has absolutely nothing to do with the bonnet itself.
00:27:18.480 --> 00:27:22.319
Wearing a bonnet out in public actually at one point was a fashion statement.
00:27:22.880 --> 00:27:26.559
It just looked very not even very different, it just looked kind of different.
00:27:27.200 --> 00:27:29.920
It was considered an actual proper hair covering.
00:27:30.720 --> 00:27:38.160
But I digress, I don't care about looking cute always and always looking put together when I go out because sometimes I'm just running a quick errand.
00:27:38.240 --> 00:27:39.039
And it is what it is.
00:27:39.279 --> 00:27:40.640
Catch me how you catch me.
00:27:41.039 --> 00:27:43.839
You'd be lucky if I even put on the bra sometimes.
00:27:46.319 --> 00:27:59.759
I know my daddy's gonna hate to hear that, but um number three, I learned to be okay with being seen doing things alone, and this is something that I learned to do in college in my undergrad.
00:28:00.319 --> 00:28:08.799
And because I was like, at one point, like I would always be so I would always feel sorry for people that I was see out by themselves, especially like older people.
00:28:08.960 --> 00:28:11.519
I'm like, oh my gosh, why are they there by themselves?
00:28:11.680 --> 00:28:22.480
And then I started taking myself out on dates when I was in undergrad, um, when I was like dealing with some heavy stuff, and so I was like, no, I want to take care of myself, I want to pour into myself, so I'm gonna take myself out on dates.
00:28:22.640 --> 00:28:25.200
That's what I did, and like it first started off very slowly.
00:28:25.279 --> 00:28:26.559
Like, I think I've talked about this before.
00:28:26.640 --> 00:28:29.440
I would just take myself to the movies on Tuesdays every now and then.
00:28:29.599 --> 00:28:30.640
Well, not every now and then.
00:28:30.720 --> 00:28:36.319
Actually, I was going like every week on Tuesdays because college kids had a discount for tickets on Tuesday, so I would go.
00:28:36.559 --> 00:28:39.279
But I don't know if that's still a thing, but if it is, y'all should do that.
00:28:39.519 --> 00:29:02.000
Um so yeah, anytime it was a new movie out, or even just a movie that I was slightly interested in, I would take myself out to the movies, and then it eventually became going to the park, going on walks, going to the library, and taking myself to the bookstore on book dates and just sitting and reading, or um going, then it eventually became going to actual restaurants and taking myself out and dining and treating myself and not caring.
00:29:02.160 --> 00:29:08.720
And I would just take my iPad with me at some at restaurants and I cue up something that I wanted to watch and I watch TV.
00:29:08.880 --> 00:29:09.599
Oops.
00:29:09.839 --> 00:29:12.960
I watched TV while I eat dinner by myself for lunch, whatever.
00:29:13.119 --> 00:29:15.039
And it didn't care, it didn't bother me.
00:29:15.200 --> 00:29:19.279
I would go to the nail shower to get my nails done by my like it just never bothered me.
00:29:19.599 --> 00:29:20.720
Well, not never bothered.
00:29:20.799 --> 00:29:25.920
I I slowly learned to be okay with being seen, doing things alone, and it made me like I didn't care.
00:29:26.079 --> 00:29:30.319
I had reached the point where I didn't care if I was showing up by myself and doing it by myself.
00:29:30.480 --> 00:29:36.319
So it kind of got to the point where like it kind of felt like well, not felt like, mm-hmm.
00:29:36.400 --> 00:29:39.680
No, not it kind of got to a point, but no, it did.
00:29:39.759 --> 00:29:46.640
It kind of reached a point where like sometimes I would go do stuff and then when I moved back home and stuff like that, my mom would be like, You don't want me to go with you?
00:29:46.720 --> 00:29:47.519
You ain't gonna invite me.
00:29:47.599 --> 00:29:49.440
And I'd be like, Oh, my bad.
00:29:49.599 --> 00:29:50.720
Like, it wasn't intentional.
00:29:50.799 --> 00:30:01.200
I just had gotten so used to the at that point being by myself and doing things by doing things by myself that I just you know it just didn't, you know, became second nature almost.
00:30:01.359 --> 00:30:06.000
But you know, so I had to kind of relearn how to be interact with people just a little bit again.
00:30:06.079 --> 00:30:07.839
But you know, it was cool, it was fine.
00:30:08.000 --> 00:30:11.119
It helped me get over the fear of being seen doing things alone.
00:30:11.200 --> 00:30:14.480
It also gave me a new perspective of when I see people out doing things on their own.
00:30:14.640 --> 00:30:20.960
Maybe they want to take time for themselves, maybe they don't want to be bothered by people, maybe they got a lot going on and this is their only quiet time, you know, you know.
00:30:21.279 --> 00:30:35.759
Um, another thing, having unpopular opinions, like I said earlier when I was talking about the little irritating situation, having unpopular opinions, having to stand on your own, having to speak up for yourself because other people feel like they can gang up you gang up on you for whatever reason.
00:30:35.920 --> 00:30:36.960
Uh yeah no.
00:30:37.119 --> 00:30:39.519
If I have an unpopular opinion, so be it.
00:30:39.759 --> 00:30:42.559
Because the thing that I've said is like about children.
00:30:42.799 --> 00:30:46.480
That's one thing, and it's just like people are like, Well, you're supposed to have kids.
00:30:46.640 --> 00:30:48.319
Do you plan on having kids anytime soon?
00:30:49.519 --> 00:30:50.960
Oh my gosh, you're getting older.
00:30:51.039 --> 00:30:52.240
When are you gonna get married?
00:30:52.319 --> 00:30:52.880
And da da da.
00:30:53.279 --> 00:30:57.680
And I'm just like, I don't know, may not ever happen.
00:30:58.000 --> 00:30:59.759
Don't think I even want kids.
00:31:02.240 --> 00:31:04.240
Well, if it happens, it happens.
00:31:04.319 --> 00:31:05.359
It has it right now.
00:31:06.319 --> 00:31:07.440
That's my answer.
00:31:08.319 --> 00:31:13.119
And even if I do, I think I definitely want to be older after I've lived my life.
00:31:14.400 --> 00:31:16.000
That's a very unpopular opinion.
00:31:16.240 --> 00:31:18.000
Very unpopular take.
00:31:18.319 --> 00:31:19.359
But it's mine.
00:31:19.680 --> 00:31:21.279
So yeah.
00:31:21.599 --> 00:31:22.720
That's kind of how I feel.
00:31:22.960 --> 00:31:25.200
And so, like I said, I'm having unpopular opinions.
00:31:26.960 --> 00:31:31.599
I really don't care what anybody what any other person thinks about how I feel.
00:31:31.839 --> 00:31:32.480
Like, at all.
00:31:32.640 --> 00:31:33.440
It's my opinion.
00:31:33.680 --> 00:31:35.920
It's not a fact, it's just my opinion.
00:31:36.880 --> 00:31:37.839
My take.
00:31:38.160 --> 00:31:40.480
I'm not arguing for the sake of agreement.
00:31:40.799 --> 00:31:42.240
I'm not arguing, period.
00:31:42.480 --> 00:31:44.079
It's just my take on it.
00:31:44.799 --> 00:31:46.160
And I that's another thing.
00:31:46.240 --> 00:31:48.960
I've realized that a lot of people just feel like things are always argument.
00:31:49.440 --> 00:31:54.799
Just because somebody has a different opinion than you doesn't necessarily mean it's ground for an argument.
00:31:55.200 --> 00:32:01.039
We just have different opinions, we have different perspectives, different views, and sometimes this is okay.
00:32:02.799 --> 00:32:04.160
Okay, next.
00:32:04.400 --> 00:32:10.000
Um, being weird or people thinking that I'm weird.
00:32:10.160 --> 00:32:14.000
Because, like, you know, I've embraced the nerd thing.
00:32:14.160 --> 00:32:34.799
I've embraced me being a nerd because even though I don't look like the stereotypical nerd, quote unquote per se, I am um, I like knowledge, I like history, I like I geek out about a lot of random things, niche things that you know an a normal person probably wouldn't.
00:32:34.960 --> 00:32:36.960
And so I've embraced that about myself.
00:32:37.119 --> 00:32:51.440
But what comes along with that is like sometimes you just gotta be weird, and embracing being weird is also just sometimes embracing being delusional and going after things that people don't believe you can do, or things that sound outlandish and doesn't seem possible.
00:32:51.759 --> 00:33:06.319
It comes along with being weird and being viewed and like that's odd type of thing, and beyond that, I'm just a little weird, I'm a little quirky, and it's okay, and I don't really care things I'm embracing, you know.
00:33:06.640 --> 00:33:09.119
Next thing keeping up with trends.
00:33:09.440 --> 00:33:12.559
I tried, and it's so draining, y'all.
00:33:12.640 --> 00:33:24.880
Like, it's so draining, especially being like in business and learning all the things about marketing and the entertainment industry, and just all the things they tell you you have to do, you need to do to stay aflow.
00:33:25.119 --> 00:33:30.960
It took the love of it all out for me, and it's just like you know what?
00:33:31.200 --> 00:33:33.839
I really don't care about keeping up with trends.
00:33:34.079 --> 00:33:38.240
I really don't like if something hits off, it hits off.
00:33:38.480 --> 00:33:47.200
But I I really just genuinely want to enjoy what I do, I want to enjoy what I'm doing, and so if it becomes trendy, great.
00:33:47.440 --> 00:33:50.160
If it lent matches up with the trend, okay, great.
00:33:50.319 --> 00:33:54.480
If I like this trend and I just so happen to do it, okay, great.
00:33:54.799 --> 00:33:58.799
But trying to keep up with trends is just yeah.
00:33:59.920 --> 00:34:04.240
I just I don't it just I don't see I don't see the authenticity in it.
00:34:04.319 --> 00:34:07.440
I don't see the need for me keeping up with trends.
00:34:07.519 --> 00:34:27.360
It's just you know, it takes the fun out of it after a while and just like I said, it just doesn't feel authentic, it feels inauthentic and what I re I not just what I really want to be, I want to remain true to who I am and a lot of things I like just isn't aren't necessarily just trendy, you know, and that's okay.
00:34:27.599 --> 00:34:28.800
Cool, cool.
00:34:29.039 --> 00:34:31.920
Um, next saying no to plans, guys.
00:34:32.000 --> 00:34:38.719
I struggle with saying no to plans and a caveat to that or like a conjunction with that, I think conjunction is a better word.
00:34:38.960 --> 00:34:48.320
To that is I struggle with saying no when I no longer feel like or have the energy to go through with said plans, even after I've said yes.
00:34:48.480 --> 00:34:52.400
Now there are times where once you've made a commitment, you gotta stick it out, stick it through.
00:34:52.559 --> 00:35:04.800
Okay, like if somebody's depending on you for something and you've already said and committed to it, unless it's like dogger or like yeah, mental breakdown in the T five seconds, yeah.
00:35:05.039 --> 00:35:09.519
Come through, show up, be there, see your word through because your word is mine.
00:35:10.159 --> 00:35:16.000
Um, but the caveat to that is just you are also very open to change your mind.
00:35:16.159 --> 00:35:28.320
You can say no to plans, you are not obligated to commit to everything, and I struggled with that at first, and now I just really am like, no, I don't want to do that.
00:35:28.559 --> 00:35:33.679
I want to stay in bed and rot and watch TV all day and pick out.
00:35:33.840 --> 00:35:35.440
That's that's what I want to do.
00:35:35.760 --> 00:35:36.800
So nope.
00:35:37.679 --> 00:35:40.320
And yeah, I'm learning that, yeah.
00:35:40.559 --> 00:35:42.719
Next, over-explaining myself.
00:35:42.880 --> 00:35:45.039
Now, here's the thing with over-explaining myself.
00:35:45.199 --> 00:36:02.880
Sometimes I don't know when I'm just over-explaining myself and when I'm just oversharing because I like it takes a while for me to warm up and get comfortable, and I think I blur the lines a bit, but also when I care, I just well, not I just I used to really need for you to understand where I was coming from.
00:36:02.960 --> 00:36:14.239
There was a need in me for you to understand exactly what I was saying and where I was coming from, and so it would lead to me over-explaining and constantly trying to justify my viewpoint and my stance.
00:36:14.480 --> 00:36:33.199
But I've learned that people will choose to not understand you no matter how much you are making sense, no matter how obvious it is what you are saying, no matter how simple you make your statement, people will choose to not understand you.
00:36:33.440 --> 00:36:38.400
And so talking in circles to people who are that way, pointless.
00:36:38.639 --> 00:37:17.840
And so it has helped me be like over-explaining myself, either you get it, or you either you get it and you get it or you don't, and it's just like uh now I'm not gonna say I don't still overexplain myself at times because sometimes I do, because it's a it's a learning type of situation, um, but I no longer just really have the need for someone to understand me every as often or as much as I used to type right next, um, being bad at something new or being seen failing, because that's the whole point of doing something new or starting something new.
00:37:17.920 --> 00:37:27.599
If I started doing something that I had never done before, like, and I I and I just came came out and did it perfect, then I would have nowhere to grow, I would have nowhere to go.
00:37:27.920 --> 00:37:32.880
And like, it's okay to make mistakes, it's okay to fall on your face.
00:37:33.039 --> 00:37:38.079
I kind of have fallen on my face a couple of times with this podcast, and it's okay.
00:37:38.239 --> 00:37:42.960
There's a few things in my life I've fallen on my face about, and it's okay.
00:37:43.280 --> 00:37:58.239
It's okay being seen failing, it's okay being seen not being perfect because through all of that, you're still going through the process and you're still doing and you're still trying, which means you are still growing.
00:37:59.199 --> 00:38:00.960
Okay, so yeah.
00:38:01.360 --> 00:38:14.800
Um, last thing on the list, looking impressive to others, you know, and the thing is, I personally never really felt like that was a big concern for me.
00:38:14.960 --> 00:38:20.000
It was that's something I just never understood was looking impressive to others.
00:38:20.079 --> 00:38:36.719
So I feel like maybe I haven't learned to let that go, but I just never really cared to look impressive, like, because and it's a it's a crazy weird, it's a weird dynamic because the way I seek validation is very much so internal.
00:38:36.800 --> 00:38:42.639
I'm very much so an internal person, I go within to figure things out, I go within the process.
00:38:43.039 --> 00:38:48.000
Um, and I like I go to self first, right?
00:38:48.320 --> 00:39:07.920
And then if I can't grasp my brain around something, or if I've already deemed it one way, and then I speak to other people, it's kind of just like like okay, how do I say like if I've already felt like something was bad, but then everybody else is like, yeah, it was bad.
00:39:08.000 --> 00:39:12.000
I'm like, dang, so it really was bad type of deal.
00:39:12.159 --> 00:39:21.519
But if I thought something was bad and everybody else says, Oh no, it was actually really great, da da da, I still feel like it was bad, if that makes sense.
00:39:21.599 --> 00:39:24.880
So, like, I just I don't know.
00:39:25.039 --> 00:39:27.760
I don't that's kind of a weird, I hope that makes sense.
00:39:27.920 --> 00:39:46.000
But looking impressive to others is not the goal for me because I'm not gonna sit here and lie, like having all the academic accolades and all that at one point when I was very, very young, like yes, it was because it was like impressive, you know, to me, to other people, like, oh yeah, this way, you're smart, da-da-da-da-da.
00:39:46.159 --> 00:39:50.159
But it had, once I got older, I was like, bro, no, I'm really going to get these grades.
00:39:50.239 --> 00:39:52.000
I'm doing my best and putting my best foot forward.
00:39:52.159 --> 00:39:57.280
One, because I'm doing things that I love, and if I can't, if I don't get the good grades, then I can't do the things I love.
00:39:57.440 --> 00:39:59.760
Two, I want to be able to go wherever I want to go.
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.159
And that requires me to get good grades.
00:40:02.320 --> 00:40:16.159
And then also as an adult, like I talked about in the last episode, resume long, resume long, academic accolades long, and it ain't getting me nowhere as right now.
00:40:16.480 --> 00:40:20.880
Okay, it don't it doesn't matter to nobody.
00:40:21.039 --> 00:40:23.119
I look very impressive on paper.
00:40:23.199 --> 00:40:24.960
I am very impressive in person.
00:40:25.280 --> 00:40:26.960
I've so been told.
00:40:27.119 --> 00:40:32.159
Um, but you know, I mean, still kind of not where I want to be.
00:40:32.239 --> 00:40:35.519
So at the end of the day, does it really matter?
00:40:35.760 --> 00:40:38.400
And the answer is like, nah.
00:40:39.519 --> 00:40:54.960
So if it's not something that I genuinely feel the need to do, or if it's not something that I genuinely want to do or speak, it's something that I feel like can help me grow or help me pursue something I love or go after, I don't really care.
00:40:55.440 --> 00:40:56.559
I don't really care.
00:40:56.800 --> 00:41:00.159
It's not pouring into me and then draining me and pulling out of me.
00:41:00.400 --> 00:41:01.440
I don't care.
00:41:01.599 --> 00:41:04.800
Unless it's helping me get to a goal, I don't care.
00:41:05.519 --> 00:41:08.400
I no longer care to just impress other people.
00:41:08.559 --> 00:41:14.000
Granted, like I said, don't really think I've ever just really cared about it.
00:41:14.480 --> 00:41:17.280
At least not consciously, maybe subconsciously.
00:41:17.360 --> 00:41:18.159
I can admit that.
00:41:18.239 --> 00:41:19.920
Maybe not consciously.
00:41:20.159 --> 00:41:22.400
Um, maybe somewhere in my subconscious.
00:41:22.559 --> 00:41:23.199
Yeah.
00:41:24.639 --> 00:41:32.559
But overall, being impressed with others, because you can like I said, have all the accolades of the world and nobody will care.
00:41:32.719 --> 00:41:34.320
Nobody will give a damn.
00:41:35.440 --> 00:41:49.840
So yeah, uh, if it's not cool to me, if it's not feeding me, if it's not pouring into me, if it's not something I love, it's not something that I want to go after, if it's not something I want to do, if it's not something I want to wear, if it's not something that I can stand ten toes behind, eh.
00:41:50.559 --> 00:41:53.199
Who cares what other people feel and what other people think?
00:41:53.760 --> 00:41:54.320
Yeah.
00:41:54.639 --> 00:42:15.360
So I want to say that like I understand that the art of letting go and releasing things and not giving things your energy is typically, you know, it can be it's a it is a heavy topic because there are harder things in life that you have to learn to release and let go, and like heartbreak and trauma and heartache and growing pains and all of those things.
00:42:15.679 --> 00:42:22.320
But I just wanted to take the time to recognize that you can let go things that show up in everyday life.
00:42:22.559 --> 00:42:35.360
You know, there is power in acknowledging those small vic smaller victories or things that you consider smaller victories, and growth doesn't always have to be something so serious.
00:42:35.760 --> 00:42:38.880
You should be able to look back at yourself and just laugh.
00:42:39.119 --> 00:42:46.800
And all in all, just give yourself some credit for every step that you have taken because every step matters, every single step.
00:42:46.960 --> 00:42:49.760
So, yeah, that's that's just that.
00:42:59.760 --> 00:43:13.519
Okay, so now we have reached the point in the episode where you can write in your letters to me, and in these letters, it can be testimonials, it can be things that you have grown from, it can be things that you are currently growing through, going through.
00:43:13.760 --> 00:43:16.880
If you would like some advice, you can also write those letters in.
00:43:17.039 --> 00:43:20.719
Like I've said, not certified, not licensed.
00:43:20.880 --> 00:43:24.000
But I can give you the best big sis advice that I got for you.
00:43:24.239 --> 00:43:28.559
You can email those letters to lettersalongtheway at gmail.com.
00:43:28.719 --> 00:43:32.800
Once again, that email is lettersalongtheway at gmail.com.
00:43:32.880 --> 00:43:40.159
That is L-E-T-T-E-R-S A-L-O-N-G-H-E-W-A-Y at gmail.com.
00:43:45.199 --> 00:43:46.880
Okay, you guys.
00:43:47.119 --> 00:43:58.000
So we have reached the grace note segment of the episode, and I just wanted to let you guys know that not everything you let go of has to be something big.
00:43:58.320 --> 00:44:04.000
Okay, sometimes growth is found in the little things that no longer hold the same weight in your life.
00:44:04.159 --> 00:44:12.239
So give yourself grace for what you're still learning to release and celebrate what you've already learned to put down.
00:44:13.119 --> 00:44:20.239
I want to say thank you guys once again for joining me for another episode on another lovely Tuesday.
00:44:21.039 --> 00:44:28.320
I really do appreciate all the love and support and all of the things that you guys have done and just for being here.
00:44:28.559 --> 00:44:39.360
Um, so don't forget to like, share, comment, subscribe, and turn on those post bell notifications so you are notified every time a new episode drops.
00:44:39.599 --> 00:44:41.760
You can follow the podcast at her pace.
00:44:42.719 --> 00:44:47.440
Follow the podcast at her path, her pace on all social media platforms.
00:44:47.599 --> 00:44:51.199
And you can follow me, your host, Shay at Roshea.
00:44:51.360 --> 00:44:54.559
All of those all of that information will also be found down below.
00:44:54.800 --> 00:44:58.400
You can send me your letters into lettersalongtheway at gmail.com.
00:44:58.480 --> 00:45:04.079
And for any business inquiries, you can email herpathherpace at gmail.com as well.
00:45:04.880 --> 00:45:10.239
Okay, guys, once again, thank you for tuning in on another lovely Tuesday.
00:45:10.480 --> 00:45:20.880
And until next time, don't forget to pause, breathe, take a beat, and remember, give yourself some grace.
00:45:21.039 --> 00:45:22.880
Until next Tuesday, y'all.
00:45:23.199 --> 00:45:23.760
Bye.
00:00:31.519 --> 00:00:34.960
Well, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, everybody.
00:00:35.119 --> 00:00:43.759
Thank you for tuning in for another episode of Her Path, Her Pace, where growth meets grace, and I am your host, Shay.
00:00:44.320 --> 00:00:48.000
And thank you for joining me on another lovely Tuesday.
00:00:49.119 --> 00:00:50.640
How are you guys feeling?
00:00:50.880 --> 00:00:52.880
I am feeling okay.
00:00:53.039 --> 00:00:54.880
We're gonna keep it rocking and rolling.
00:00:55.039 --> 00:00:56.880
And I told you guys I'd be back.
00:00:56.960 --> 00:00:58.320
And look, I'm back.
00:00:59.920 --> 00:01:01.920
So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:01:02.079 --> 00:01:05.599
Let's go ahead and get started with Live Lately.
00:01:06.799 --> 00:01:07.920
So, y'all.
00:01:08.159 --> 00:01:10.560
Oh, what is going on in my world right now?
00:01:10.719 --> 00:01:12.959
So we got two things, all right.
00:01:13.120 --> 00:01:18.640
So I'm currently watching 90 Day Hunt for Love, right?
00:01:19.200 --> 00:01:25.040
And I don't know, maybe I'm new to this, but one, I I didn't start, I didn't watch season one first off.
00:01:25.120 --> 00:01:26.560
We just I didn't start watching season one.
00:01:26.640 --> 00:01:32.799
I started at season two because I was looking for something to watch on my lunch break and da da da da and I came across it, whatever.
00:01:32.879 --> 00:01:34.879
And I was like, I'm not going all the way back to season one.
00:01:35.120 --> 00:01:37.920
So if season one is good, let me know.
00:01:38.000 --> 00:01:43.200
And I let me know in the comments down below, and I might go back and watch season one after I finish watching season two.
00:01:43.599 --> 00:01:49.200
But yeah, um, also if season two is pretty good, I might just go back and watch season one, but we'll see.
00:01:49.359 --> 00:01:57.439
I don't know, because right now, the way I feel, like just my comment, like okay, so this is how I feel.
00:01:57.680 --> 00:02:09.360
Chloe, I think that's her name, the blonde, excuse me, the blonde who has like the long list of icks and all of these things.
00:02:09.599 --> 00:02:16.879
Um, I also want to preface this and say, I'm only in the middle of season two, episode two, so I literally just started it.
00:02:17.039 --> 00:02:21.360
So things could change, maybe her personality comes out more, maybe it's a little different.
00:02:21.520 --> 00:02:50.879
But my very first impression of watching her is that it gives very much so she's used to guys fawning over her, like going crazy about her, and there's nothing wrong with that if that's something she's used to, but it gives a very much so what's so crazy is one of the guys, I think his name was Roz, he said it mean girl, it gave mean girl, and it very much so does it gives very much so.
00:02:51.120 --> 00:02:56.719
I don't necessarily want to say bitchy, but kinda sorta, just a bit.
00:02:56.879 --> 00:03:01.520
It's like I don't know, it's like she just she's so superficial.
00:03:01.599 --> 00:03:02.159
That's what it is.
00:03:02.240 --> 00:03:08.319
It gives very superficial, and it's like, what are you being this way because you're so guarded?
00:03:08.560 --> 00:03:10.240
Or like, are you really this way?
00:03:10.400 --> 00:03:21.840
Like when she was like her Icklis, like I understand having an Ickus, but the guy who walked her back to her room and he asked her, he kissed her on the cheek, like that's very much so southern charm.
00:03:22.080 --> 00:03:30.800
Like, I granted not everybody does that, and it's not just a very common thing, but how can you say you like the good old southern boy?
00:03:30.879 --> 00:03:35.120
And then when he does a very southern thing, you're immediately turned off by it.
00:03:35.280 --> 00:03:50.000
That doesn't make sense, and just I don't know, I kind of just don't like when she comes on the screen because it very much so gives I'm used to being the center of attention and nobody's paying me any attention, and I don't like that.
00:03:50.319 --> 00:03:58.560
And she is kind of like I wouldn't necessarily say bitchy, but it definitely people were like, How are you confusing wit with that?
00:03:58.639 --> 00:04:00.479
I was like, where did y'all get witty from?
00:04:00.639 --> 00:04:13.759
Because it's not giving funny, it's not giving witty, it's not giving sarcastic, it's giving very much so um, it's giving very much so uh what's what am I looking for?
00:04:14.240 --> 00:04:23.360
Um I don't oh nasty, nice, nice, nasty.
00:04:23.439 --> 00:04:24.240
That's what it is.
00:04:24.480 --> 00:04:27.360
That's the that's the turn of phrase I'm that I'm trying to figure out.
00:04:27.439 --> 00:04:29.920
Yes, it's giving very much so nice nasty.
00:04:30.319 --> 00:04:31.839
And I ain't rocking with it.
00:04:31.920 --> 00:04:32.639
I don't like it.
00:04:32.879 --> 00:04:36.639
Maybe it changes as I keep watching the season, but right now, no.
00:04:37.040 --> 00:04:38.639
She's I'm not a fan of her.
00:04:38.959 --> 00:04:40.079
And then Emma.
00:04:40.240 --> 00:04:43.279
Oh, Emma, Emily, I think her name is Emma.
00:04:43.839 --> 00:04:44.560
Baby.
00:04:45.360 --> 00:04:48.240
Baby, baby girl.
00:04:49.199 --> 00:05:31.920
You literally went crazy over a guy who you hooked up with his friend, like consistently hooked up with his friend before, and then it came out in the middle of episode two that she had met up with him and they had hooked up, and that was part of the reason why she was crying and stuff like that, and acting the way she was acting, but it still to me doesn't justify being crazy over a guy after a couple of days, it's still like all morals aside, because like honestly, girl, that that's you, and it ain't got like you don't owe the dude any responsibility.
00:05:32.079 --> 00:05:34.639
The guy who's his friend, Jamal, I believe is his name.
00:05:34.720 --> 00:05:39.120
Jamal is the one who owes his friend, you know, loyalty and all the respect and all that.
00:05:39.279 --> 00:05:40.480
You don't owe him nothing.
00:05:40.639 --> 00:05:44.399
So if you want to hook up with him and then hook up with his friend, honestly, so be it.
00:05:44.480 --> 00:05:45.759
That's you, that's your business.
00:05:45.920 --> 00:05:48.879
Like I said, you don't owe him nothing because y'all not together.
00:05:49.040 --> 00:05:53.920
And Jamal, you so you no longer have loyalty to the person that you was hooking up with before.
00:05:54.240 --> 00:05:55.600
That's that's on Jamal.
00:05:55.680 --> 00:06:04.399
So don't don't let them put I I hope she doesn't let like that be a thing that she allows people to put on her, because that's not that ain't got nothing to do with her.
00:06:04.959 --> 00:06:07.040
Okay, that ain't got nothing to do with her.
00:06:07.199 --> 00:06:10.079
It's not her fault if the friend didn't want her, and now the other friend do.
00:06:10.560 --> 00:06:11.279
So bad.
00:06:11.439 --> 00:06:12.480
Um, so sad.
00:06:12.720 --> 00:06:24.959
However, comma, Emma, baby girl, you are being very, like this is giving very red flags, very toxic, very much so, like this is a lot to be happening.
00:06:25.360 --> 00:06:33.199
Even if y'all did hook up prior to actual night one, day one, it was only maybe two or three days before.
00:06:34.720 --> 00:06:39.680
Unless y'all had developed like real feelings prior to getting to the show, it doesn't make sense.
00:06:39.759 --> 00:06:54.879
It doesn't make sense for you to be in the like, and then it doesn't make sense for you to be put off to the side crying, boo hooing over him, and then also the way you went about once again.
00:06:54.959 --> 00:07:07.759
Maybe they want to paint you out to be crazy in this bad guy, but the way it was at the episode was edited, it didn't seem it wasn't giving you were you were the rude person and you were the aggressive person in the situation.
00:07:07.920 --> 00:07:12.879
It wasn't giving um that they were rude towards you, it was just the necklace.
00:07:12.959 --> 00:07:20.639
It would the necklace didn't mean anything other than you had interest in that person, it didn't mean you have to go to bed with them, it didn't guarantee a day, it didn't none of those things.
00:07:20.800 --> 00:07:30.959
So I understand having hurt feelings behind somebody taking their necklace back and just like feeling more so embarrassed about it, but you didn't have to burst her.
00:07:31.040 --> 00:07:32.959
Uh I can't even remember that girl's name.
00:07:33.040 --> 00:07:35.600
It's not Brittany, I don't believe.
00:07:35.759 --> 00:07:40.240
Um, but you didn't have to, you didn't have to be disrespectful towards her.
00:07:40.319 --> 00:07:44.240
The way you said she was being disrespectful towards you, we did not see that on camera.
00:07:44.399 --> 00:07:45.920
That was not in the final edit.
00:07:46.079 --> 00:07:48.480
That's not how it was portrayed, and that's not how it played out.
00:07:48.720 --> 00:07:51.680
It did not come across as if she was being disrespectful to you.
00:07:51.839 --> 00:08:09.439
She literally walked up to the she literally walked up to Roz, asked for her necklace back, and Jamal walked up to you and asked for his necklace back, and Roz just was like, Okay, but you made a scene, and it seemed like you made it something that like more than it needed to be, and that was really more so the issue, you know?
00:08:09.759 --> 00:08:11.839
You know, so I don't know.
00:08:12.000 --> 00:08:17.040
But like I said, I'm only in the middle of season two, episode two, so we still got a ways to go.
00:08:17.279 --> 00:08:22.720
I also didn't know that this was all like I didn't know the 90-day thing had a whole like thing.
00:08:22.879 --> 00:08:25.040
I I mean, like franchise.
00:08:25.120 --> 00:08:26.959
I really only thought it was 90 Day Fiance.
00:08:27.680 --> 00:08:34.960
I didn't know all of this was interconnected, and not only is it interconnected, there's other shows within the 90-day franchise.
00:08:35.120 --> 00:08:39.919
Um, I didn't know that, so I have quite a bit of homework to do but then look into.
00:08:40.159 --> 00:08:42.639
I'm excited and I'm very interested in doing that.
00:08:42.879 --> 00:08:46.240
Yeah, so that's what's going on in my TV world of life.
00:08:46.399 --> 00:08:49.120
What happened in my life, y'all, this past week?
00:08:49.360 --> 00:08:58.080
So I'm at work we had we played 2K, I think it was 2K26, but we had a 2K26 tournament at work.
00:08:58.159 --> 00:08:59.919
So we was playing the PlayStation, right?
00:09:00.000 --> 00:09:00.320
Right.
00:09:00.480 --> 00:09:02.480
And so I mean, your girl took a chance.
00:09:02.559 --> 00:09:04.559
I ain't never played 2K a day in my life.
00:09:04.720 --> 00:09:05.440
But let me hurry.
00:09:05.600 --> 00:09:07.519
I ain't never played 2K a day in my life.
00:09:07.679 --> 00:09:11.679
But one of my coworkers, she needed a partner because the boys was like, no, you can't be on my team.
00:09:11.759 --> 00:09:13.279
I don't want to be on your team because you don't know what you're doing.
00:09:13.440 --> 00:09:17.039
I was like, you know what, girl, I'll sign up, I'll play with you, I'll be on your team, cool, whatever.
00:09:17.200 --> 00:09:20.320
So it came down in that day, and we were supposed to play.
00:09:20.639 --> 00:09:23.039
And let me just say, we won.
00:09:23.200 --> 00:09:27.440
Well, we didn't win, but we made it to the championship round, okay?
00:09:27.679 --> 00:09:42.480
Two girls who ain't never played 2K in a day in their life, and I ain't got nobody to teach me how to play 2K, and she ain't got nobody to teach her how to play 2K, and we had like a quick little five, 10-minute tutorial on how to play 2K, and and we made it to the championship round.
00:09:42.559 --> 00:09:43.840
So boom, bam.
00:09:44.000 --> 00:09:50.000
If I could have figured out how to run, like control my player running, probably would have won.
00:09:50.720 --> 00:09:53.840
I probably wouldn't have won, but maybe just my back.
00:09:55.679 --> 00:10:03.200
But, anyways, nah, so before we got started, plan, I did get a little irritated, like it was an irritating moment that happened.
00:10:03.440 --> 00:10:10.639
My co-workers, okay, so we were all set in brackets that our HR person had generated, and it was at random, whatever.
00:10:10.799 --> 00:10:18.559
So the guy who was hosting getting over it, he already didn't go by the brackets because for whatever reason he didn't have it to even go by.
00:10:18.799 --> 00:10:21.360
Okay, so he but he also wanted to be fair.
00:10:21.440 --> 00:10:38.320
So instead of putting the girls versus the guys in the first round, he did the guys versus guys in the first round, and then girls versus girls in the next round, and then we was knocking each other out like that because none of the girls, none of well, I keep saying girls, we're all grown women, none of us knew how to play 2K, but the boys clearly they do.
00:10:38.559 --> 00:10:42.559
So um he was like, let's just make it a little more fair and da da da da.
00:10:43.200 --> 00:10:53.840
And so, but when our HR guy came in and tried to tell us how to do the brackets because he wasn't there at the initial start of it, I was explaining to him, no, that's not how it would go because they already played.
00:10:54.000 --> 00:10:59.679
And then I fell back because I was like, This isn't my event, I'm not hosting, I'm not leading, I'm not the one supposed to be communicated.
00:11:01.200 --> 00:11:05.679
So, however, I thought it was clearly communicated to him how it should go.
00:11:05.840 --> 00:11:09.120
It still apparently was not clearly communicated to him how it should go.
00:11:09.279 --> 00:11:18.639
So, right, we all in the room, in the conference room, about to play the game, and so the it was only it was three teams of women, two male teams, right?
00:11:18.720 --> 00:11:23.600
So, two male teams obviously they play first, it's an odd team out, so they don't have anybody to play.
00:11:23.679 --> 00:11:26.399
So that means somebody's gonna have to play twice.
00:11:26.720 --> 00:11:37.600
Okay, so it only makes sense the way it was set up since my teammate, me and my my teammate and I were on the first bracket with another male team.
00:11:37.840 --> 00:11:43.120
Since we didn't play that first round, the other male team was they played that first round, right?
00:11:43.200 --> 00:11:48.080
So that means that my team should move to where that male team's bracket is, correct?
00:11:48.320 --> 00:11:50.799
Correct, okay, common sense.
00:11:50.960 --> 00:11:53.600
Oops, sorry, common sense, right?
00:11:53.759 --> 00:11:54.240
Right.
00:11:54.559 --> 00:12:11.279
So when I said that, I kept being told by the other two women in there, no, that's not how it's supposed to because the way since the brackets and stuff got messed up, and obviously there's an odd team out, they automatically went to the championship and they didn't have to actually have an initial first round.
00:12:11.519 --> 00:12:12.799
Not fair, not right.
00:12:12.879 --> 00:12:13.919
We're not doing it.
00:12:14.080 --> 00:12:14.480
Cool.
00:12:14.720 --> 00:12:17.120
All right, so I was like, no, that's not how it works.
00:12:17.279 --> 00:12:20.720
Explain to them everything, and they kept telling me, no, that's not right.
00:12:20.799 --> 00:12:24.720
That's not what da-da-da-da said, that's not what he said, that's not how it's supposed to go.
00:12:24.879 --> 00:12:27.279
No, we in the championship already, we're not supposed to play.
00:12:28.159 --> 00:12:28.639
Pause.
00:12:28.799 --> 00:12:29.440
Hold on.
00:12:29.600 --> 00:12:33.440
So I got my, I was like, no, like that's wrong.
00:12:33.519 --> 00:12:34.240
That's not how it goes.
00:12:34.320 --> 00:12:41.440
And I was like, that's what I was trying to explain to him, but this person didn't clearly say that to them, so it still was misconstrued, and there was still a misunderstanding.
00:12:41.519 --> 00:12:42.960
And they was like, no, that's not right, da da da.
00:12:43.519 --> 00:12:46.399
So I got my till up out of my seat.
00:12:46.639 --> 00:12:47.440
I sure did.
00:12:47.600 --> 00:12:56.159
Grab the bracket paper, put it in between both of them so they could visually see how I was right, and me explaining it.
00:12:56.399 --> 00:12:59.759
And they still were like, Oh no, that's not what he said, that's not what he said.
00:13:00.240 --> 00:13:01.440
Okay, cool.
00:13:01.840 --> 00:13:03.039
So I go sit back down.
00:13:03.120 --> 00:13:04.480
And I was like, I'm right.
00:13:04.799 --> 00:13:06.080
Cool, whatever.
00:13:06.320 --> 00:13:11.360
So one of the guys comes back in from the other team that won and made it to the next round, so we can go ahead and get through.
00:13:13.519 --> 00:13:18.720
He explains and says the exact same thing that I do.
00:13:19.759 --> 00:13:21.360
Do you know what those two women did?
00:13:21.919 --> 00:13:23.440
You know what those two women said.
00:13:24.480 --> 00:13:24.799
Okay.
00:13:27.679 --> 00:13:27.919
Okay.
00:13:30.639 --> 00:13:33.600
One I felt like they was trying to little girl me.
00:13:34.320 --> 00:13:38.080
Uh I don't I don't take disrespect lightly.
00:13:38.240 --> 00:13:41.759
Like, it's one, like, because at work I am very to myself.
00:13:41.919 --> 00:13:43.120
I don't say too much.
00:13:43.279 --> 00:13:49.200
Yes, I talk to a few people, but it's been over time that I've grown to really talk to them.
00:13:49.360 --> 00:13:54.559
Still don't talk to them as much, and they don't really realize that I'm slowly coming out of my show and talking to them.
00:13:54.720 --> 00:13:55.919
Well, not even coming out of my show.
00:13:56.000 --> 00:13:59.679
It's just I'm very particular and like I just feel like work.
00:14:00.320 --> 00:14:03.840
I've had bad experiences with work relationships and things going outside of work.
00:14:03.919 --> 00:14:09.759
So it's just like as a precaution, I just kind of is it's kind of very surface level in there with me for work.
00:14:11.039 --> 00:14:17.360
But I think everybody takes me being to myself as like you know, oh, she's a pushover.
00:14:17.440 --> 00:14:21.840
And then two, I'm very happy, positive, go lucky.
00:14:22.000 --> 00:14:27.840
Like I genuinely have well, I generally have a very positive light energy about me.
00:14:28.000 --> 00:14:35.360
And so I think people also take my kindness for weakness, and they don't understand that no, it's a choice to come in here this way.
00:14:35.519 --> 00:14:47.039
I choose to be nice, I choose to be kind, um, and I choose to keep my opinions to myself because all in all, ultimately, I really don't care to share.
00:14:47.919 --> 00:14:49.759
I don't care to share.
00:14:50.000 --> 00:14:55.840
Um, and but I feel like they feel like they could little girl me because of those things, and baby, no, you don't know me.
00:14:56.080 --> 00:15:06.879
Oh, I have absolutely no problem sticking up for myself and speaking when I feel like something is wrong, or if I have a different opinion, if I decide to give something in my energy.
00:15:07.039 --> 00:15:10.960
And because I feel like you're intentionally trying to little girl me, you can get my energy.
00:15:11.120 --> 00:15:14.000
So I gave it, and I don't think they like that too much.
00:15:14.240 --> 00:15:18.960
I didn't give a I didn't care because I didn't care, I didn't care at all.
00:15:19.120 --> 00:15:24.559
And then two, I can't stand, I can't stand or pick me up.
00:15:25.039 --> 00:15:26.720
Well me, I really can't.
00:15:26.799 --> 00:15:34.799
Like the fact that he came in and said the exact same thing that I said, and you just took what he said for word, like for like for law.
00:15:34.960 --> 00:15:38.000
But me saying it, you argued me up and down that I was wrong.
00:15:38.159 --> 00:15:44.080
And so, you know, after they tell him, okay, okay, I literally said I said that exact same thing, y'all weren't listening.
00:15:44.240 --> 00:15:46.399
And they're like, No, you didn't say that, that was wrong.
00:15:46.480 --> 00:15:47.200
That's not what he's.
00:15:47.440 --> 00:15:52.720
I said, I literally said exactly what he said, but y'all kept telling me I was wrong.
00:15:52.960 --> 00:15:53.759
But okay.
00:15:53.919 --> 00:15:57.919
And then I left it at that because there was nothing else that needed to be said, nothing else that needed to be good.
00:15:58.159 --> 00:16:05.200
Because I was right, they were wrong, and they were being disrespectful, and I had no problem calling them out, and they didn't like that.
00:16:05.360 --> 00:16:06.639
It's cool, it's fine.
00:16:06.879 --> 00:16:07.840
It is what it is.
00:16:08.000 --> 00:16:10.720
I mean, everything all good, and we fine and dandy now.
00:16:10.799 --> 00:16:12.799
I just it irritated me in that moment.
00:16:12.879 --> 00:16:15.759
I definitely got irritated in that moment, and I was just like, bro, what?
00:16:15.919 --> 00:16:16.960
Like, I cannot believe this.
00:16:17.360 --> 00:16:19.200
Like, that's crazy.
00:16:19.440 --> 00:16:21.039
But it's cool, it is what it is.
00:16:21.120 --> 00:16:24.720
But yeah, that's really all that's going on in my world right now.
00:16:24.960 --> 00:16:26.240
How are you guys doing?
00:16:26.399 --> 00:16:27.600
How's life going for you?
00:16:27.759 --> 00:16:30.399
Has there been any crazy things happening at work for you?
00:16:30.559 --> 00:16:32.960
Any coworkers that you got a little bit of tension with?
00:16:33.039 --> 00:16:37.440
You know, well, maybe not even attention, but you know, a little irritation things like that that might have happened.
00:16:37.600 --> 00:16:44.639
Anybody be trying to look girl you or little boy you and you gotta buff up their chest just a little bit, get them to know hold up, that ain't that.
00:16:44.720 --> 00:16:45.440
This ain't what it is.
00:16:45.600 --> 00:16:46.799
Oh no, just me.
00:16:46.879 --> 00:16:53.919
Well, if it's not just me, let me know down in the comments below and talk to your girl and tell me what else is going on in your world.
00:16:54.399 --> 00:17:02.080
Okay, so now that we are all caught up with each other, let's go ahead and talk about those glow-up goals.
00:17:03.120 --> 00:17:11.759
So, for this week's glow up goal, we are going to glow up in action and we are going to do a practice of releasing.
00:17:12.160 --> 00:17:32.799
And so for this week, I want you to take your journal and have a journal prompt of writing out all of the things that you all of the things or something or at least one thing that throughout this year, throughout this time, throughout this current season, maybe even just yesterday, that you had to release and let go of and walk away from or whatever and grow from.
00:17:32.960 --> 00:17:36.240
And I just want you to write it down and release it on paper.
00:17:36.400 --> 00:17:49.599
Take a step back and take a moment to reflect on what you have learned from it and check in and to see how it can show how it shows up in your in your life now and how you have changed your reaction to it.
00:17:49.759 --> 00:17:56.799
Um, or you can write about something that you need to release and things like that, and something that you may want to release.
00:17:56.960 --> 00:18:22.240
And if you want to, even if you don't want to necessarily write it down in your journal, I believe we've done I've made this a thing before where if it's something you want to break and let go of, you can write it on on a um a glass plate, go break it outside, and that could be you physically releasing it, or you can write it on paper and then follow it up by burning it and letting it fly away and burn away and release and let it go in that way.
00:18:22.400 --> 00:18:26.720
However, you want to write it out, get it out to release and let go.
00:18:26.880 --> 00:18:35.519
Um, this thing that you either have grown from, are growing from, or want to grow from, and learn how to let go and release.
00:18:35.680 --> 00:18:38.160
That is our glow up in action for this week.
00:18:38.319 --> 00:18:41.200
That is our prompt, that is our activity.
00:18:41.599 --> 00:18:43.119
Okay, okay.
00:18:43.359 --> 00:18:49.680
So now that we are all glowing, growing and going, let's go ahead and see who we are in step with on today.
00:19:01.119 --> 00:19:11.200
Okay, so for this week's shared steps, I want to take the time to give flowers to the Tracy, Ellis Ross.
00:19:11.839 --> 00:19:15.119
Now, I absolutely love Tracy.
00:19:15.359 --> 00:19:22.480
I feel like she's one of those people who just genuinely enjoys being herself, and I adore that about her.
00:19:22.720 --> 00:19:28.720
Of course, a lot of us know her as Joan Clayton from Girlfriends or Rainbow Johnson from Blackish.
00:19:28.960 --> 00:19:35.519
And listen, Joan Clayton alone deserves a whole conversation because that woman was stressed.
00:19:36.880 --> 00:19:47.440
But seriously, Tracy has had such an incredible career, and I think sometimes her personality and how funny she is can overshadow just how much she's accomplished.
00:19:47.599 --> 00:19:51.599
She's an actress, producer, entrepreneur, and golden globe winner.
00:19:51.680 --> 00:19:55.279
And yes, she's the daughter of the legendary Diana Ross.
00:19:55.440 --> 00:20:00.160
But she's also spent decades building a career, an identity that's completely her own.
00:20:00.400 --> 00:20:06.240
And something else I really want to highlight is her hair care brand, Pattern Beauty, which she launched in 2019.
00:20:06.480 --> 00:20:17.839
What I love about Pattern is that it came from her own experiences with her natural hair and recognizing that there was a need for products that actually celebrated and catered to curly, coily, and tightly textured hair.
00:20:18.000 --> 00:20:24.400
And I think that's pretty cool because she took something that was personal to her and created something that could serve so many other women.
00:20:24.640 --> 00:20:37.359
But beyond her career and business ventures, I also appreciate how open she's been about embracing the life that she's created for herself, even when it doesn't necessarily look like what society expects a woman's life to look like.
00:20:37.599 --> 00:20:45.119
She's spoken about being single and not having children and simply learning to appreciate the life she has rather than treating it like something is missing.
00:20:45.359 --> 00:20:50.000
And I think that's a conversation that deserves more attention, especially for women.
00:20:50.160 --> 00:20:57.039
Because there are so many expectations placed on us about what our lives are supposed to look like and when we're supposed to reach certain milestones.
00:20:57.200 --> 00:21:07.119
And I appreciate that Tracy Ellis Ross has been willing to have those conversations while continuing to live her life and pursue her passions and simply just be herself.
00:21:07.440 --> 00:21:24.880
So this week's flowers go to Tracy Ellis Ross for the career she's built, the representation she's contributed to, the opportunities she's created, and for reminding us that there just isn't just one way to live a life full and meaningful.
00:21:25.759 --> 00:21:27.200
Keep doing your thing, Tracy.
00:21:27.440 --> 00:21:28.000
We see you.
00:21:28.319 --> 00:21:59.039
Okay, so now that we are all in step, let's go ahead and set the mood with some so for this week's her playlist, and all in the theme of you know learning from the past and letting go and moving on and all of the things, I wanted to start this playlist with thank you next by Ariana Grande.
00:21:59.440 --> 00:22:19.680
Because Even though you know it's centered around her exes and things like that, it takes a lighthearted kind of fun perspective on it and take on it, but it still talks about some very like key things about letting go and learning from the past and admitting mistakes and moving on.
00:22:19.839 --> 00:22:28.720
Like, because even Ariana has changed the lyric um when she performs it live now, the one that's about her dad, you know.
00:22:28.799 --> 00:22:38.880
So she's changed those lyrics over time when she's performed it live because the relationship has changed and has grown and she's learned different things and she's moved on to a different place in her life and a different space about it.
00:22:39.200 --> 00:22:41.359
And so that's why that song is there.
00:22:41.599 --> 00:22:44.319
And then the next song is Just Fine by Mary J.
00:22:44.400 --> 00:22:45.039
Blosh.
00:22:45.200 --> 00:22:53.839
Because, yeah, when you like learn to let go, release expectations, release things, release invisible pressures and all that.
00:22:54.000 --> 00:22:59.839
Maybe you can learn to be just fine with yourself because you like what you see when you're walking past that mirror.
00:23:00.079 --> 00:23:01.200
And where do I learn?
00:23:01.440 --> 00:23:39.119
Just I love see I won't change my life, my life's just my won't change my life, my life, just you know, because it's just release and let it go, and you will be just fine, and just maybe one day you'll learn to love yourself and the person that you see.
00:23:39.279 --> 00:23:40.400
We want that's the mamma.
00:23:41.279 --> 00:23:45.039
No stress, don't let it get you pressed.
00:23:45.200 --> 00:23:49.440
Okay, so yeah, those are the songs in our playlist this week.
00:23:49.519 --> 00:23:51.920
There's thank you next by Ariana Grande.
00:23:52.480 --> 00:23:56.079
Thank you next and just fine by Mary J.
00:23:56.160 --> 00:23:57.039
Blash.
00:23:57.440 --> 00:23:58.559
Just fine.
00:24:01.920 --> 00:24:02.559
Yeah.
00:24:03.759 --> 00:24:09.680
So now that the mood has been set, let's go ahead and walk through this thing, y'all.
00:24:16.319 --> 00:24:16.640
Okay.
00:24:18.160 --> 00:24:19.599
So here we are.
00:24:19.759 --> 00:24:23.119
And let me say, so I may be 26.
00:24:23.200 --> 00:24:26.319
I know that's that's pretty, pretty young, pretty young.
00:24:26.559 --> 00:24:38.480
Um, but you know, over this past like few, six years, I want to say, just about, I've learned to just let go and not give certain things my energy.
00:24:38.799 --> 00:24:44.400
And I just I want to share some of the things that I've been like, you know what?
00:24:44.480 --> 00:24:49.359
I really don't care about how other people may feel about it or whatever.
00:24:49.599 --> 00:24:54.640
And it's not the typical heartbreak, heavy, deep conversation that you're probably expecting.
00:24:54.880 --> 00:24:55.519
It's not.
00:24:55.759 --> 00:24:56.079
Okay.
00:24:56.720 --> 00:25:02.960
So first thing on this list of things that I've learned to not care about pooping in public.
00:25:03.920 --> 00:25:08.240
In public, like, maybe if I gotta go, oh baby, I'm gonna go.
00:25:08.799 --> 00:25:14.240
I keep my wipes and I keep my travel size toilet seat covers with me.
00:25:14.559 --> 00:25:16.880
Because baby, if I gotta go, I gotta go.
00:25:17.039 --> 00:25:22.160
And I tr I keep hand sanitizer on deck at all times in case I can't wash my hands.
00:25:22.400 --> 00:25:32.079
Because you know, some places you can't wash your hands because they don't have soap or whatever, and whatever the re rhyme or reason, keep keep all your sanitary products and things with you and all you.
00:25:32.319 --> 00:25:36.960
It's always something in my purse, it's something in my car, and even at work, it's always something in my vest.
00:25:37.119 --> 00:25:40.319
Okay, always there right there with me whenever I need it.
00:25:40.640 --> 00:25:41.519
Thank you.
00:25:41.759 --> 00:25:42.240
Thank you.
00:25:42.400 --> 00:25:47.839
We are all human, we are all too grown to be ashamed to poop.
00:25:48.160 --> 00:25:50.880
Baby, your body breaks down food the same way mine does.
00:25:51.200 --> 00:25:52.480
At least I hope so.
00:25:52.640 --> 00:25:55.759
If you're very regular, so yeah.
00:25:55.920 --> 00:25:57.599
I just if I gotta poop, I gotta go.
00:25:57.839 --> 00:25:58.880
If I gotta go, I gotta go.
00:25:58.960 --> 00:26:02.400
I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go right now, gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now.
00:26:02.480 --> 00:26:05.359
And I guarantee you, gonna go right now.
00:26:05.920 --> 00:26:06.880
It is what it is.
00:26:07.039 --> 00:26:08.240
Okay, okay.
00:26:08.640 --> 00:26:11.920
Oh, also I keep the like poopery spray on me too.
00:26:12.160 --> 00:26:18.000
Um I'm at least a little bit considerate, even though I don't really have to be, because like I said, we all do it.
00:26:20.559 --> 00:26:32.640
Um the second thing that I've learned to let go, like the pressure of just looking cute everywhere I go, or not even just necessarily looking cute everywhere I go, looking put together all the time.
00:26:32.799 --> 00:26:37.920
Because sometimes maybe I I don't care that whole thing, oh you never know.
00:26:38.079 --> 00:26:39.440
You might run into your husband.
00:26:39.599 --> 00:26:41.839
My husband is gonna love me regardless.
00:26:42.079 --> 00:26:44.160
My person is gonna love me regardless.
00:26:44.400 --> 00:26:46.400
You might run into the love of your life.
00:26:46.640 --> 00:26:47.519
Oh my gosh.
00:26:47.759 --> 00:26:53.119
Well, if the love of my life doesn't see my beauty in my bonnet, oh freaking well.
00:26:53.440 --> 00:27:10.799
If I got these sweatpants with holes in my oh freaking well, like I just don't care, and like that whole politic conversation about wearing your bonnet out in public and stuff like that, is just like be so for real, y'all.
00:27:11.039 --> 00:27:18.240
We know what the underlying reason is behind that conversation, and it has absolutely nothing to do with the bonnet itself.
00:27:18.480 --> 00:27:22.319
Wearing a bonnet out in public actually at one point was a fashion statement.
00:27:22.880 --> 00:27:26.559
It just looked very not even very different, it just looked kind of different.
00:27:27.200 --> 00:27:29.920
It was considered an actual proper hair covering.
00:27:30.720 --> 00:27:38.160
But I digress, I don't care about looking cute always and always looking put together when I go out because sometimes I'm just running a quick errand.
00:27:38.240 --> 00:27:39.039
And it is what it is.
00:27:39.279 --> 00:27:40.640
Catch me how you catch me.
00:27:41.039 --> 00:27:43.839
You'd be lucky if I even put on the bra sometimes.
00:27:46.319 --> 00:27:59.759
I know my daddy's gonna hate to hear that, but um number three, I learned to be okay with being seen doing things alone, and this is something that I learned to do in college in my undergrad.
00:28:00.319 --> 00:28:08.799
And because I was like, at one point, like I would always be so I would always feel sorry for people that I was see out by themselves, especially like older people.
00:28:08.960 --> 00:28:11.519
I'm like, oh my gosh, why are they there by themselves?
00:28:11.680 --> 00:28:22.480
And then I started taking myself out on dates when I was in undergrad, um, when I was like dealing with some heavy stuff, and so I was like, no, I want to take care of myself, I want to pour into myself, so I'm gonna take myself out on dates.
00:28:22.640 --> 00:28:25.200
That's what I did, and like it first started off very slowly.
00:28:25.279 --> 00:28:26.559
Like, I think I've talked about this before.
00:28:26.640 --> 00:28:29.440
I would just take myself to the movies on Tuesdays every now and then.
00:28:29.599 --> 00:28:30.640
Well, not every now and then.
00:28:30.720 --> 00:28:36.319
Actually, I was going like every week on Tuesdays because college kids had a discount for tickets on Tuesday, so I would go.
00:28:36.559 --> 00:28:39.279
But I don't know if that's still a thing, but if it is, y'all should do that.
00:28:39.519 --> 00:29:02.000
Um so yeah, anytime it was a new movie out, or even just a movie that I was slightly interested in, I would take myself out to the movies, and then it eventually became going to the park, going on walks, going to the library, and taking myself to the bookstore on book dates and just sitting and reading, or um going, then it eventually became going to actual restaurants and taking myself out and dining and treating myself and not caring.
00:29:02.160 --> 00:29:08.720
And I would just take my iPad with me at some at restaurants and I cue up something that I wanted to watch and I watch TV.
00:29:08.880 --> 00:29:09.599
Oops.
00:29:09.839 --> 00:29:12.960
I watched TV while I eat dinner by myself for lunch, whatever.
00:29:13.119 --> 00:29:15.039
And it didn't care, it didn't bother me.
00:29:15.200 --> 00:29:19.279
I would go to the nail shower to get my nails done by my like it just never bothered me.
00:29:19.599 --> 00:29:20.720
Well, not never bothered.
00:29:20.799 --> 00:29:25.920
I I slowly learned to be okay with being seen, doing things alone, and it made me like I didn't care.
00:29:26.079 --> 00:29:30.319
I had reached the point where I didn't care if I was showing up by myself and doing it by myself.
00:29:30.480 --> 00:29:36.319
So it kind of got to the point where like it kind of felt like well, not felt like, mm-hmm.
00:29:36.400 --> 00:29:39.680
No, not it kind of got to a point, but no, it did.
00:29:39.759 --> 00:29:46.640
It kind of reached a point where like sometimes I would go do stuff and then when I moved back home and stuff like that, my mom would be like, You don't want me to go with you?
00:29:46.720 --> 00:29:47.519
You ain't gonna invite me.
00:29:47.599 --> 00:29:49.440
And I'd be like, Oh, my bad.
00:29:49.599 --> 00:29:50.720
Like, it wasn't intentional.
00:29:50.799 --> 00:30:01.200
I just had gotten so used to the at that point being by myself and doing things by doing things by myself that I just you know it just didn't, you know, became second nature almost.
00:30:01.359 --> 00:30:06.000
But you know, so I had to kind of relearn how to be interact with people just a little bit again.
00:30:06.079 --> 00:30:07.839
But you know, it was cool, it was fine.
00:30:08.000 --> 00:30:11.119
It helped me get over the fear of being seen doing things alone.
00:30:11.200 --> 00:30:14.480
It also gave me a new perspective of when I see people out doing things on their own.
00:30:14.640 --> 00:30:20.960
Maybe they want to take time for themselves, maybe they don't want to be bothered by people, maybe they got a lot going on and this is their only quiet time, you know, you know.
00:30:21.279 --> 00:30:35.759
Um, another thing, having unpopular opinions, like I said earlier when I was talking about the little irritating situation, having unpopular opinions, having to stand on your own, having to speak up for yourself because other people feel like they can gang up you gang up on you for whatever reason.
00:30:35.920 --> 00:30:36.960
Uh yeah no.
00:30:37.119 --> 00:30:39.519
If I have an unpopular opinion, so be it.
00:30:39.759 --> 00:30:42.559
Because the thing that I've said is like about children.
00:30:42.799 --> 00:30:46.480
That's one thing, and it's just like people are like, Well, you're supposed to have kids.
00:30:46.640 --> 00:30:48.319
Do you plan on having kids anytime soon?
00:30:49.519 --> 00:30:50.960
Oh my gosh, you're getting older.
00:30:51.039 --> 00:30:52.240
When are you gonna get married?
00:30:52.319 --> 00:30:52.880
And da da da.
00:30:53.279 --> 00:30:57.680
And I'm just like, I don't know, may not ever happen.
00:30:58.000 --> 00:30:59.759
Don't think I even want kids.
00:31:02.240 --> 00:31:04.240
Well, if it happens, it happens.
00:31:04.319 --> 00:31:05.359
It has it right now.
00:31:06.319 --> 00:31:07.440
That's my answer.
00:31:08.319 --> 00:31:13.119
And even if I do, I think I definitely want to be older after I've lived my life.
00:31:14.400 --> 00:31:16.000
That's a very unpopular opinion.
00:31:16.240 --> 00:31:18.000
Very unpopular take.
00:31:18.319 --> 00:31:19.359
But it's mine.
00:31:19.680 --> 00:31:21.279
So yeah.
00:31:21.599 --> 00:31:22.720
That's kind of how I feel.
00:31:22.960 --> 00:31:25.200
And so, like I said, I'm having unpopular opinions.
00:31:26.960 --> 00:31:31.599
I really don't care what anybody what any other person thinks about how I feel.
00:31:31.839 --> 00:31:32.480
Like, at all.
00:31:32.640 --> 00:31:33.440
It's my opinion.
00:31:33.680 --> 00:31:35.920
It's not a fact, it's just my opinion.
00:31:36.880 --> 00:31:37.839
My take.
00:31:38.160 --> 00:31:40.480
I'm not arguing for the sake of agreement.
00:31:40.799 --> 00:31:42.240
I'm not arguing, period.
00:31:42.480 --> 00:31:44.079
It's just my take on it.
00:31:44.799 --> 00:31:46.160
And I that's another thing.
00:31:46.240 --> 00:31:48.960
I've realized that a lot of people just feel like things are always argument.
00:31:49.440 --> 00:31:54.799
Just because somebody has a different opinion than you doesn't necessarily mean it's ground for an argument.
00:31:55.200 --> 00:32:01.039
We just have different opinions, we have different perspectives, different views, and sometimes this is okay.
00:32:02.799 --> 00:32:04.160
Okay, next.
00:32:04.400 --> 00:32:10.000
Um, being weird or people thinking that I'm weird.
00:32:10.160 --> 00:32:14.000
Because, like, you know, I've embraced the nerd thing.
00:32:14.160 --> 00:32:34.799
I've embraced me being a nerd because even though I don't look like the stereotypical nerd, quote unquote per se, I am um, I like knowledge, I like history, I like I geek out about a lot of random things, niche things that you know an a normal person probably wouldn't.
00:32:34.960 --> 00:32:36.960
And so I've embraced that about myself.
00:32:37.119 --> 00:32:51.440
But what comes along with that is like sometimes you just gotta be weird, and embracing being weird is also just sometimes embracing being delusional and going after things that people don't believe you can do, or things that sound outlandish and doesn't seem possible.
00:32:51.759 --> 00:33:06.319
It comes along with being weird and being viewed and like that's odd type of thing, and beyond that, I'm just a little weird, I'm a little quirky, and it's okay, and I don't really care things I'm embracing, you know.
00:33:06.640 --> 00:33:09.119
Next thing keeping up with trends.
00:33:09.440 --> 00:33:12.559
I tried, and it's so draining, y'all.
00:33:12.640 --> 00:33:24.880
Like, it's so draining, especially being like in business and learning all the things about marketing and the entertainment industry, and just all the things they tell you you have to do, you need to do to stay aflow.
00:33:25.119 --> 00:33:30.960
It took the love of it all out for me, and it's just like you know what?
00:33:31.200 --> 00:33:33.839
I really don't care about keeping up with trends.
00:33:34.079 --> 00:33:38.240
I really don't like if something hits off, it hits off.
00:33:38.480 --> 00:33:47.200
But I I really just genuinely want to enjoy what I do, I want to enjoy what I'm doing, and so if it becomes trendy, great.
00:33:47.440 --> 00:33:50.160
If it lent matches up with the trend, okay, great.
00:33:50.319 --> 00:33:54.480
If I like this trend and I just so happen to do it, okay, great.
00:33:54.799 --> 00:33:58.799
But trying to keep up with trends is just yeah.
00:33:59.920 --> 00:34:04.240
I just I don't it just I don't see I don't see the authenticity in it.
00:34:04.319 --> 00:34:07.440
I don't see the need for me keeping up with trends.
00:34:07.519 --> 00:34:27.360
It's just you know, it takes the fun out of it after a while and just like I said, it just doesn't feel authentic, it feels inauthentic and what I re I not just what I really want to be, I want to remain true to who I am and a lot of things I like just isn't aren't necessarily just trendy, you know, and that's okay.
00:34:27.599 --> 00:34:28.800
Cool, cool.
00:34:29.039 --> 00:34:31.920
Um, next saying no to plans, guys.
00:34:32.000 --> 00:34:38.719
I struggle with saying no to plans and a caveat to that or like a conjunction with that, I think conjunction is a better word.
00:34:38.960 --> 00:34:48.320
To that is I struggle with saying no when I no longer feel like or have the energy to go through with said plans, even after I've said yes.
00:34:48.480 --> 00:34:52.400
Now there are times where once you've made a commitment, you gotta stick it out, stick it through.
00:34:52.559 --> 00:35:04.800
Okay, like if somebody's depending on you for something and you've already said and committed to it, unless it's like dogger or like yeah, mental breakdown in the T five seconds, yeah.
00:35:05.039 --> 00:35:09.519
Come through, show up, be there, see your word through because your word is mine.
00:35:10.159 --> 00:35:16.000
Um, but the caveat to that is just you are also very open to change your mind.
00:35:16.159 --> 00:35:28.320
You can say no to plans, you are not obligated to commit to everything, and I struggled with that at first, and now I just really am like, no, I don't want to do that.
00:35:28.559 --> 00:35:33.679
I want to stay in bed and rot and watch TV all day and pick out.
00:35:33.840 --> 00:35:35.440
That's that's what I want to do.
00:35:35.760 --> 00:35:36.800
So nope.
00:35:37.679 --> 00:35:40.320
And yeah, I'm learning that, yeah.
00:35:40.559 --> 00:35:42.719
Next, over-explaining myself.
00:35:42.880 --> 00:35:45.039
Now, here's the thing with over-explaining myself.
00:35:45.199 --> 00:36:02.880
Sometimes I don't know when I'm just over-explaining myself and when I'm just oversharing because I like it takes a while for me to warm up and get comfortable, and I think I blur the lines a bit, but also when I care, I just well, not I just I used to really need for you to understand where I was coming from.
00:36:02.960 --> 00:36:14.239
There was a need in me for you to understand exactly what I was saying and where I was coming from, and so it would lead to me over-explaining and constantly trying to justify my viewpoint and my stance.
00:36:14.480 --> 00:36:33.199
But I've learned that people will choose to not understand you no matter how much you are making sense, no matter how obvious it is what you are saying, no matter how simple you make your statement, people will choose to not understand you.
00:36:33.440 --> 00:36:38.400
And so talking in circles to people who are that way, pointless.
00:36:38.639 --> 00:37:17.840
And so it has helped me be like over-explaining myself, either you get it, or you either you get it and you get it or you don't, and it's just like uh now I'm not gonna say I don't still overexplain myself at times because sometimes I do, because it's a it's a learning type of situation, um, but I no longer just really have the need for someone to understand me every as often or as much as I used to type right next, um, being bad at something new or being seen failing, because that's the whole point of doing something new or starting something new.
00:37:17.920 --> 00:37:27.599
If I started doing something that I had never done before, like, and I I and I just came came out and did it perfect, then I would have nowhere to grow, I would have nowhere to go.
00:37:27.920 --> 00:37:32.880
And like, it's okay to make mistakes, it's okay to fall on your face.
00:37:33.039 --> 00:37:38.079
I kind of have fallen on my face a couple of times with this podcast, and it's okay.
00:37:38.239 --> 00:37:42.960
There's a few things in my life I've fallen on my face about, and it's okay.
00:37:43.280 --> 00:37:58.239
It's okay being seen failing, it's okay being seen not being perfect because through all of that, you're still going through the process and you're still doing and you're still trying, which means you are still growing.
00:37:59.199 --> 00:38:00.960
Okay, so yeah.
00:38:01.360 --> 00:38:14.800
Um, last thing on the list, looking impressive to others, you know, and the thing is, I personally never really felt like that was a big concern for me.
00:38:14.960 --> 00:38:20.000
It was that's something I just never understood was looking impressive to others.
00:38:20.079 --> 00:38:36.719
So I feel like maybe I haven't learned to let that go, but I just never really cared to look impressive, like, because and it's a it's a crazy weird, it's a weird dynamic because the way I seek validation is very much so internal.
00:38:36.800 --> 00:38:42.639
I'm very much so an internal person, I go within to figure things out, I go within the process.
00:38:43.039 --> 00:38:48.000
Um, and I like I go to self first, right?
00:38:48.320 --> 00:39:07.920
And then if I can't grasp my brain around something, or if I've already deemed it one way, and then I speak to other people, it's kind of just like like okay, how do I say like if I've already felt like something was bad, but then everybody else is like, yeah, it was bad.
00:39:08.000 --> 00:39:12.000
I'm like, dang, so it really was bad type of deal.
00:39:12.159 --> 00:39:21.519
But if I thought something was bad and everybody else says, Oh no, it was actually really great, da da da, I still feel like it was bad, if that makes sense.
00:39:21.599 --> 00:39:24.880
So, like, I just I don't know.
00:39:25.039 --> 00:39:27.760
I don't that's kind of a weird, I hope that makes sense.
00:39:27.920 --> 00:39:46.000
But looking impressive to others is not the goal for me because I'm not gonna sit here and lie, like having all the academic accolades and all that at one point when I was very, very young, like yes, it was because it was like impressive, you know, to me, to other people, like, oh yeah, this way, you're smart, da-da-da-da-da.
00:39:46.159 --> 00:39:50.159
But it had, once I got older, I was like, bro, no, I'm really going to get these grades.
00:39:50.239 --> 00:39:52.000
I'm doing my best and putting my best foot forward.
00:39:52.159 --> 00:39:57.280
One, because I'm doing things that I love, and if I can't, if I don't get the good grades, then I can't do the things I love.
00:39:57.440 --> 00:39:59.760
Two, I want to be able to go wherever I want to go.
00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.159
And that requires me to get good grades.
00:40:02.320 --> 00:40:16.159
And then also as an adult, like I talked about in the last episode, resume long, resume long, academic accolades long, and it ain't getting me nowhere as right now.
00:40:16.480 --> 00:40:20.880
Okay, it don't it doesn't matter to nobody.
00:40:21.039 --> 00:40:23.119
I look very impressive on paper.
00:40:23.199 --> 00:40:24.960
I am very impressive in person.
00:40:25.280 --> 00:40:26.960
I've so been told.
00:40:27.119 --> 00:40:32.159
Um, but you know, I mean, still kind of not where I want to be.
00:40:32.239 --> 00:40:35.519
So at the end of the day, does it really matter?
00:40:35.760 --> 00:40:38.400
And the answer is like, nah.
00:40:39.519 --> 00:40:54.960
So if it's not something that I genuinely feel the need to do, or if it's not something that I genuinely want to do or speak, it's something that I feel like can help me grow or help me pursue something I love or go after, I don't really care.
00:40:55.440 --> 00:40:56.559
I don't really care.
00:40:56.800 --> 00:41:00.159
It's not pouring into me and then draining me and pulling out of me.
00:41:00.400 --> 00:41:01.440
I don't care.
00:41:01.599 --> 00:41:04.800
Unless it's helping me get to a goal, I don't care.
00:41:05.519 --> 00:41:08.400
I no longer care to just impress other people.
00:41:08.559 --> 00:41:14.000
Granted, like I said, don't really think I've ever just really cared about it.
00:41:14.480 --> 00:41:17.280
At least not consciously, maybe subconsciously.
00:41:17.360 --> 00:41:18.159
I can admit that.
00:41:18.239 --> 00:41:19.920
Maybe not consciously.
00:41:20.159 --> 00:41:22.400
Um, maybe somewhere in my subconscious.
00:41:22.559 --> 00:41:23.199
Yeah.
00:41:24.639 --> 00:41:32.559
But overall, being impressed with others, because you can like I said, have all the accolades of the world and nobody will care.
00:41:32.719 --> 00:41:34.320
Nobody will give a damn.
00:41:35.440 --> 00:41:49.840
So yeah, uh, if it's not cool to me, if it's not feeding me, if it's not pouring into me, if it's not something I love, it's not something that I want to go after, if it's not something I want to do, if it's not something I want to wear, if it's not something that I can stand ten toes behind, eh.
00:41:50.559 --> 00:41:53.199
Who cares what other people feel and what other people think?
00:41:53.760 --> 00:41:54.320
Yeah.
00:41:54.639 --> 00:42:15.360
So I want to say that like I understand that the art of letting go and releasing things and not giving things your energy is typically, you know, it can be it's a it is a heavy topic because there are harder things in life that you have to learn to release and let go, and like heartbreak and trauma and heartache and growing pains and all of those things.
00:42:15.679 --> 00:42:22.320
But I just wanted to take the time to recognize that you can let go things that show up in everyday life.
00:42:22.559 --> 00:42:35.360
You know, there is power in acknowledging those small vic smaller victories or things that you consider smaller victories, and growth doesn't always have to be something so serious.
00:42:35.760 --> 00:42:38.880
You should be able to look back at yourself and just laugh.
00:42:39.119 --> 00:42:46.800
And all in all, just give yourself some credit for every step that you have taken because every step matters, every single step.
00:42:46.960 --> 00:42:49.760
So, yeah, that's that's just that.
00:42:59.760 --> 00:43:13.519
Okay, so now we have reached the point in the episode where you can write in your letters to me, and in these letters, it can be testimonials, it can be things that you have grown from, it can be things that you are currently growing through, going through.
00:43:13.760 --> 00:43:16.880
If you would like some advice, you can also write those letters in.
00:43:17.039 --> 00:43:20.719
Like I've said, not certified, not licensed.
00:43:20.880 --> 00:43:24.000
But I can give you the best big sis advice that I got for you.
00:43:24.239 --> 00:43:28.559
You can email those letters to lettersalongtheway at gmail.com.
00:43:28.719 --> 00:43:32.800
Once again, that email is lettersalongtheway at gmail.com.
00:43:32.880 --> 00:43:40.159
That is L-E-T-T-E-R-S A-L-O-N-G-H-E-W-A-Y at gmail.com.
00:43:45.199 --> 00:43:46.880
Okay, you guys.
00:43:47.119 --> 00:43:58.000
So we have reached the grace note segment of the episode, and I just wanted to let you guys know that not everything you let go of has to be something big.
00:43:58.320 --> 00:44:04.000
Okay, sometimes growth is found in the little things that no longer hold the same weight in your life.
00:44:04.159 --> 00:44:12.239
So give yourself grace for what you're still learning to release and celebrate what you've already learned to put down.
00:44:13.119 --> 00:44:20.239
I want to say thank you guys once again for joining me for another episode on another lovely Tuesday.
00:44:21.039 --> 00:44:28.320
I really do appreciate all the love and support and all of the things that you guys have done and just for being here.
00:44:28.559 --> 00:44:39.360
Um, so don't forget to like, share, comment, subscribe, and turn on those post bell notifications so you are notified every time a new episode drops.
00:44:39.599 --> 00:44:41.760
You can follow the podcast at her pace.
00:44:42.719 --> 00:44:47.440
Follow the podcast at her path, her pace on all social media platforms.
00:44:47.599 --> 00:44:51.199
And you can follow me, your host, Shay at Roshea.
00:44:51.360 --> 00:44:54.559
All of those all of that information will also be found down below.
00:44:54.800 --> 00:44:58.400
You can send me your letters into lettersalongtheway at gmail.com.
00:44:58.480 --> 00:45:04.079
And for any business inquiries, you can email herpathherpace at gmail.com as well.
00:45:04.880 --> 00:45:10.239
Okay, guys, once again, thank you for tuning in on another lovely Tuesday.
00:45:10.480 --> 00:45:20.880
And until next time, don't forget to pause, breathe, take a beat, and remember, give yourself some grace.
00:45:21.039 --> 00:45:22.880
Until next Tuesday, y'all.
00:45:23.199 --> 00:45:23.760
Bye.
