Alignment: The Everyday Decision to Live on Purpose

WEBVTT
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We vibing with another show. Tell me, everybody,
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can you catch this flow? We're breaking down
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mental glasses. Do you know who we with? Tony.
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Welcome back to another episode of the Tony Dixon
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and Friends podcast, where our goal is to educate
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and inspire you to break those mental glass ceilings
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in your life. I'm here today with my big brother,
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Mr. KBZ, Kecalf Bailey. What's up, Kecalf? What's
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up, man? Life is good, man. Life is wonderful.
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Come on, man. That's what I'm talking about.
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That's what I'm talking about. Hey, I think iron
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sharpens iron, bro. It does. Ready to get better
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today? I'm ready. Let's go, man. I'm here also
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today with the former Dallas Cowboy and author
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of the book Beyond the Glass. My big brother
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and yours too, man. Y 'all make sure y 'all like
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and share and subscribe to his podcast. And go
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and buy his book. Yeah. Mr. Tony Dixon. Hey.
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T .D., what's up, man? What's going on, man?
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I like that, man. Go and put the plug in there
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about the book. Yeah, go on and buy. You can
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get it on Amazon. And if you don't want to get
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it on Amazon, go to TonyDixon .com. TonyDixon
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.com. Go down the tab. Get the book. You get
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what you need. Come on, man. Yes, sir. So, Tony,
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we've been on a journey for a while, and we started
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with the podcast, and the podcast launched to
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what we would like to call a movement. And that
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movement is the alignment experience where you
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focus on three A's. Make sure you get a close
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-up on this. You got awareness, acceptance, and
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today we're going to talk about... alignment.
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Tony, first off, for our viewers that want to
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be a part of this journey with us and they want
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to join in with the alignment experience, where
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can they go and find the shirts? You can actually
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go and get it from the website. So if you go
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to TonyDixon .com, you scroll on down, you see
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the store, you can click on it, you can see all
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these shirts. Every shirt that you see here are
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available as well as some other shirts. that
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are along with the alignment experience. You
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good, bro? I'm good, man. You good, sis? It's
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definitely on there, both of them. Live heaven,
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pray always is my favorite one. On there. On
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there. Mindset is everything. On there. Believe.
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On there. And more. So these also make for good
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Father's Day gifts, birthday gifts. Christmas
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presents, whatever, man. Juneteenth. That's right.
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Make sure you go out and support the cause and
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support the movement. Go to TonyDixon .com and
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get you some merch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely.
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But Tony, so for those that this may be their
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first time logging in and checking us out. I
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want to set the stage and rewind a little bit.
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We had the podcast, which was a vision of yours
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that you wanted to share your life story about
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trials, tribulations, successes and failures,
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ups and downs, and all the fun things. You also
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decided to write a book, but now through the
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podcast, Kecalf and I have been on this journey
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with you, but also, Kecalf, we've been on this
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journey growing and developing ourselves. Absolutely.
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Right? And you're now going to another level
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with the alignment experience. Talk to us about
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the alignment experience. What is that? Yeah,
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the alignment experience is bringing it all together.
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This is really the culmination of intentionality,
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work that we've done to now see that, hey, as
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the work we've done, what is the next level of
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this? The next level of this is now that we are
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further along in our journey, now that we are
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better aligned with who we were purposed to be,
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the thing we have to do now is give it back.
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We have to pay it forward. So now we're going
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back and talking about these principles. We're
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bringing the show live. We're starting to do
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workshops in different cities, and we're bringing
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the whole framework of awareness, acceptance,
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alignment to those cities, to those communities,
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to those brothers. And this is something that's
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going to scale. This is going to be around for
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a long time, and I'm really excited about what
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we're able to do through the work we've been
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able to do to show people that, hey, if we can
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do it, you can definitely do it. Yeah. So I think
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when you go through those three A's and through
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the discipleship, Kev, on a previous episode,
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you talked about awareness, and you talked about
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your journey through awareness, right? So tell
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us about that real quick. Yeah, so for me, the
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first piece of it is the beginning of the three
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A's is awareness. And so what that looked like
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for me is in a sense of having a false sense
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of awareness and moving from that false sense
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of awareness to being unaware and then walking
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into true awareness of where I was and what that
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does to kind of just summarize the story. is
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that God making me come to the realization that
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I put my identity in things that were meant to
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develop me rather than placing my identity in
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him. And so it came flooding to me in his voice.
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to me that I needed to place my identity in him.
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And I was unaware that that's the way I was moving
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through life. Yeah. But we had also talked about
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being aware of things that we're doing, times
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that we're spending and activities that we have,
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whatever that is. And you receiving feedback.
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So you've been made aware and awareness can mean
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anything to you. We want to be clear that awareness
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can be good or bad. Because I think, Tony, you
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also share with awareness that one of the company
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executives made you aware of more potential that
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was in you. That's right. Is that right? That's
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right. That's right. And I never had it expressed
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in that way before. So all the time I was sitting
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there searching for, even questioning in some
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cases, man, what am I good at? Like that was
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the first time in my life somebody said, this
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is how I see you. This is what you're good. It
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was a blind spot. And that blind spot actually
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encouraged me to press on a little further. Yeah.
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So now we go from awareness, whether it's, you
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know, activities that you have, blind spots that
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you have, high potential that you have. But now
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we want to talk about accepting that feedback.
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accepting that position in a previous episode
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I talked about receiving feedback from you know
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from my mentor and as me and we often get defensive
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with feedback you know kill if you talked about
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receiving feedback from your kids I just want
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to say he checked us Tim Tony you talked about
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receiving feedback From your wife and exercises
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and activities and positions that you had to
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find yourself in. But I think in all three scenarios,
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that feedback was designed to make us better.
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But too often, we shut down the feedback. We
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don't position ourselves to receive the feedback.
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But now that you're made aware, now that you
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accept the feedback, the goal is to walk away.
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The goal is to challenge yourself to take it
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all in and now get aligned. Now get aligned.
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So Tony, talk about the alignment piece of the
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alignment experience and how you would expect
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the viewers, the listeners, and the readers of
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your book to become aware, accept, and now walk
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away aligned. No, this is really good because,
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you know, like we say, awareness is all about
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honesty. It's really all about honesty, man.
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And acceptance, you know, really want to call
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this out. Acceptance is not surrender. Acceptance
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doesn't mean you surrender to that's just who
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I am. Because a lot of times in my example, my
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surrender was, look, you guys tell me who I am.
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This is who I am. Right? So once I got past that
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surrender and understood it like, hey, it's another
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dimension, another level to that, what I then
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realized is some of the reasons I was not aligned
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can be broken down in this example. Just like
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a runner, right? I can be a runner and run 100
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miles in the wrong direction. So here you go,
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you running. You're gaining distance. You're
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moving along in your life, but it's in the wrong
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direction. And that, to me, is an example of
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being unaligned, right? Alignment sometimes is
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about subtraction. What are you going to remove
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from your life? What's distracting you? Right?
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What's upsetting you? Right? What is causing
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you not to forgive? Right? What is causing you
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not to spend more time with your kids? What career
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move promotion may take you from the responsibilities
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of being the man you were supposed to be? We
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don't talk about this enough in terms of what
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being aligned truly looks like. Like, sometimes
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the image that we have of balance in life is
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actually not what's meant to balance you. Certain
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aspects of your life, we talked about this on
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the episode before, sometimes you be put in a
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position where you do have enough time to be
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the man that you was meant to be. But guess what?
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It may not be that promotion that you had in
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your head. You may not be promoted because you're
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in a season of your life that gives you an opportunity
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to spend more time with your kid, to spend more
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time with your wife, to spend more time with
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your church family, spend more time in your community,
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to spend more time discipling. And had you taken
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that job, had you taken that promotion, you would
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have been misaligned to being the fullness of
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who you are. So when we talk about alignment,
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I really want to talk about that subtraction
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piece, because for me. It truly meant redefining
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what success looked like and really focusing
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on what truly gets me in alignment with God.
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And I will tell you that a lot of things that
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I had in terms of the view of being aligned were
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worldly views. They were all tied to something.
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They were all tied to things, not of who I was,
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but something that I did. It was titles. It was
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how many zeros I got. It was the car that I drive,
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the house I have. You know, all of these things
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that are tangible items. But at the end of the
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day, when all of that is gone, who am I? And
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we talked about early in early episodes of...
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Having success and getting to that point to where
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we experience emptiness. Why would you experience
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emptiness when everything you thought you dreamed
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of you've now achieved and now you feel empty?
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Why? The reason is because it was never meant
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to fulfill your passions and purposes. Yeah,
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you thought it looks good to have the title.
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I'm not and I'm not pushing back on anybody that
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has that ambition. Ambition is great. Ambition
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is great to have, but you have to have ambition,
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in my opinion, in the right area. And that area
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is like where the passion truly aligns to your
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purpose. If you're not aligned to your purpose,
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I don't care how much money they give you. I
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don't care what title you get. I don't care how
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many degrees you got. You're not going to be
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happy. You're not going to be joyful. You're
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not going to have you're not going to experience
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the the true life of exceedingly abundantly.
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Right. So. What I want people to understand today,
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once you go through awareness, once you go through
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acceptance, that's just the first phase of this
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process. Right? I told you in my book, I said
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I was aware of who I was for over 40 years. Once
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I accepted it, I accepted it by getting in the
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right spaces, talking to the right people, having
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the right mentors, putting people in the right
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category, starting to purge people out of my
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life to now remove the distractions and the noise
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so I can now see clearly, like, okay, what do
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I need to do to better myself? Alignment to me
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looked like waking up every morning and giving
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the first part of my day to God. That's what
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alignment looked like to me. So I went through
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and did the Bible in one year, right? So every
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morning I was getting up and doing that. Alignment
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looking like cutting off those soul ties that
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I had with some people that were holding me back.
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Alignment looked like... turning down a few jobs
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that I thought I knew by the money would look
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good, but it wasn't truly aligned to what would
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make Tony be in a position to have the Tony Dixon
00:14:52.980 --> 00:14:54.860
podcast to write the book and do all these other
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things. What alignment looked like to me was
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being open to have a conversation with my wife
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about something that I didn't want to really
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talk about, but I knew if I wanted to get to
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the next level of marriage, I had to have that
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conversation. What alignment looked like is opening
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up to my brothers and having vulnerable. We had
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a lot of vulnerable conversations that we haven't
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talked about on this podcast because it's not
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meant to be on this podcast. But we had those
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conversations where you checked me and you told
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me what I need to do. I had the conversation
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with Eric and the purpose that Eric served is
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to push me to say you need to move. The purpose
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of Kecalf and where he fit in my life was to analyze
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what was going on and say, hey, you're not aligned
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with what God has purposed for you. They serve
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two different purposes. But together, collectively,
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they did everything they could to get me aligned.
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So alignment is a process. Alignment is a journey.
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It's not a destination. You're always working
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to get aligned. And alignment is an everyday
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decision. where you wake up every day and you
00:16:07.809 --> 00:16:11.529
decide that what I went through yesterday, what
00:16:11.529 --> 00:16:13.590
I experienced yesterday, what I learned from
00:16:13.590 --> 00:16:15.690
yesterday, I'm going to take it in today, and
00:16:15.690 --> 00:16:17.769
I'm going to be better tomorrow than I was yesterday.
00:16:18.330 --> 00:16:21.049
And that is what the alignment experience is
00:16:21.049 --> 00:16:22.690
about, and that's what going through alignment
00:16:22.690 --> 00:16:27.750
is about. You live different, and you move different.
00:16:28.450 --> 00:16:31.509
Without even saying anything, those that are
00:16:31.509 --> 00:16:36.690
closest to you see the change in you. If you
00:16:36.690 --> 00:16:38.809
can walk into a building and you have to tell
00:16:38.809 --> 00:16:42.529
people who you are and what you've changed and
00:16:42.529 --> 00:16:46.389
the new person that you are, guess what? You
00:16:46.389 --> 00:16:49.809
ain't living in alignment. Because when you are,
00:16:49.950 --> 00:16:55.529
the light shines when nobody is around. They
00:16:55.529 --> 00:16:59.629
see you. They see the change in you. They see
00:16:59.629 --> 00:17:02.889
the move different in you. They see how you welcome
00:17:02.889 --> 00:17:07.089
them in. They see the vulnerability. They see
00:17:07.089 --> 00:17:09.349
you being your true self. And it's a beautiful
00:17:09.349 --> 00:17:13.789
thing. You rolling, man. That's good stuff. That's
00:17:13.789 --> 00:17:16.470
good stuff. And when you talked about that, Tony,
00:17:16.569 --> 00:17:20.430
so much hit me, but I want to talk about the
00:17:20.430 --> 00:17:24.230
piece. It really hit home for me when you talked
00:17:24.230 --> 00:17:28.869
about what alignment looks like. So we can read
00:17:28.869 --> 00:17:33.619
the book. We can have discussions. but sometimes
00:17:33.619 --> 00:17:37.259
really giving people that visual. And the visual
00:17:37.259 --> 00:17:40.019
that jumped out to me in that is when you talked
00:17:40.019 --> 00:17:45.680
about when you are walking in alignment, then
00:17:45.680 --> 00:17:51.400
you're now aware of what fits and what doesn't
00:17:51.400 --> 00:17:56.000
fit. And so many times when you talk about the
00:17:56.000 --> 00:18:00.089
ambition or whatever it is with... going after
00:18:00.089 --> 00:18:02.690
certain positions, there's things that can be
00:18:02.690 --> 00:18:05.390
thrown in your face. And just because it looks
00:18:05.390 --> 00:18:08.869
attractive or whatever it is and being out of
00:18:08.869 --> 00:18:11.470
alignment, you're going to be jumping at everything
00:18:11.470 --> 00:18:14.529
and pulling yourself in so many different ways.
00:18:14.910 --> 00:18:18.609
And you're going to find yourself to where it's
00:18:18.609 --> 00:18:22.910
challenging to get back to square where you need
00:18:22.910 --> 00:18:28.359
to be and walk in alignment. So as you painted
00:18:28.359 --> 00:18:33.220
that picture of what alignment looks like, it
00:18:33.220 --> 00:18:36.680
just took me back to moments of when I was out
00:18:36.680 --> 00:18:40.400
of alignment and not knowing, man, should I go
00:18:40.400 --> 00:18:43.559
do this? Should I go do that? Should I go do
00:18:43.559 --> 00:18:47.000
this? But now everything is going through that
00:18:47.000 --> 00:18:49.500
filter because I've gone through acceptance.
00:18:50.359 --> 00:18:56.960
I mean, awareness. I've accepted where... what
00:18:56.960 --> 00:19:00.160
I need to do and where I need to be. And now
00:19:00.160 --> 00:19:03.720
as I'm walking in alignment, I'm able to go through
00:19:03.720 --> 00:19:08.740
that filtering process and say, hmm, that salary
00:19:08.740 --> 00:19:12.880
would look nice. Or this position would look
00:19:12.880 --> 00:19:17.299
good on the resume. However, it doesn't fit where
00:19:17.299 --> 00:19:19.460
I know where I need to be and where I'm going.
00:19:19.720 --> 00:19:22.200
So you painting that picture helped me to bring
00:19:22.200 --> 00:19:25.339
that to life. But help me out with this, Tony.
00:19:26.220 --> 00:19:29.500
So Kecalf talked about being out of alignment,
00:19:29.680 --> 00:19:33.500
and you said looks good because you can chase
00:19:33.500 --> 00:19:36.039
all of these opportunities. You can chase these
00:19:36.039 --> 00:19:38.940
titles and positions. But if someone is trying
00:19:38.940 --> 00:19:42.299
to get in alignment, getting in alignment can
00:19:42.299 --> 00:19:45.920
cause fear. I'm comfortable being out of alignment
00:19:45.920 --> 00:19:48.680
because I'm comfortable chasing. I'm comfortable
00:19:48.680 --> 00:19:52.759
being ambitious. I'm comfortable feeding my own
00:19:52.759 --> 00:19:58.890
fleshly soul. Getting in alignment puts me into
00:19:58.890 --> 00:20:02.170
an uncomfortable place. That means I got to start
00:20:02.170 --> 00:20:04.829
giving up stuff. That means I got to start moving
00:20:04.829 --> 00:20:08.150
and doing stuff different. How did you feel going
00:20:08.150 --> 00:20:10.349
through that journey and still going through
00:20:10.349 --> 00:20:13.589
that journey? Because we are together, right?
00:20:13.730 --> 00:20:15.470
We're here together. Like, I want to be clear.
00:20:15.569 --> 00:20:20.049
This is a living, breathing example of us being
00:20:20.049 --> 00:20:22.009
disciples through this alignment experience.
00:20:23.039 --> 00:20:26.759
But how many times have you had fear of getting
00:20:26.759 --> 00:20:29.059
in alignment? And Kecalf, you might want to add
00:20:29.059 --> 00:20:31.059
to that because I know that there's been times
00:20:31.059 --> 00:20:34.140
that we've been fearful of change, giving up,
00:20:34.140 --> 00:20:37.440
you know, doing things different. Yeah, I mean,
00:20:37.440 --> 00:20:40.700
honestly, every phase of it, everything that
00:20:40.700 --> 00:20:45.799
changed about me, I was afraid of because...
00:20:46.920 --> 00:20:49.700
You go through life and you in your mind, you
00:20:49.700 --> 00:20:52.099
truly believe that you are a certain way. And
00:20:52.099 --> 00:20:54.500
sometimes you even question if change is possible.
00:20:55.319 --> 00:20:57.460
The other thing I would tell you is just the
00:20:57.460 --> 00:21:00.980
uncertainty of what's on the other side. Like,
00:21:00.980 --> 00:21:03.440
if I do make this change, how are people going
00:21:03.440 --> 00:21:08.180
to receive me? You know, how am I going to look
00:21:08.180 --> 00:21:11.059
at myself? And here's what I'll tell you, man.
00:21:11.480 --> 00:21:14.220
This is where I understand why the alignment
00:21:14.220 --> 00:21:17.319
experience is so important, because. In going
00:21:17.319 --> 00:21:21.599
through this, what it made me understand is that
00:21:21.599 --> 00:21:25.000
you cannot go through this change without having
00:21:25.000 --> 00:21:27.359
a community of people around you to help you
00:21:27.359 --> 00:21:30.579
through that change. That's what I understood.
00:21:31.500 --> 00:21:35.200
And, you know, we all have that mindset of it's
00:21:35.200 --> 00:21:38.059
me against the world. If it is to be, it's up
00:21:38.059 --> 00:21:39.859
to me and God. How many times have you heard
00:21:39.859 --> 00:21:43.720
somebody say that? God never told you to do it
00:21:43.720 --> 00:21:48.539
isolated. Say that again. God never told you
00:21:48.539 --> 00:21:54.799
to do it isolated. And it's important for us
00:21:54.799 --> 00:21:58.480
to understand that the enemy that we're fighting
00:21:58.480 --> 00:22:04.700
against, he knows what looks good to us. He knows
00:22:04.700 --> 00:22:12.000
how to turn our head. And in the words of the
00:22:12.000 --> 00:22:18.619
prophets, Bell Biv Devoe. Never
00:22:18.619 --> 00:22:22.240
trust a big butt in the smile. Because that girl
00:22:22.240 --> 00:22:30.019
is poison. So, what's your big butt? What's your
00:22:30.019 --> 00:22:32.900
big butt? And the enemy knows what that is. If
00:22:32.900 --> 00:22:36.900
it's fame, he's going to put you in a position
00:22:36.900 --> 00:22:39.299
that looks like it's going to give you fame.
00:22:40.299 --> 00:22:43.319
If it's money, He's going to put you in a position
00:22:43.319 --> 00:22:45.440
where you're going to get the money that have
00:22:45.440 --> 00:22:46.980
a lot of zeros. You're going to think it's going
00:22:46.980 --> 00:22:50.900
to be all right, right? If it's power, he's going
00:22:50.900 --> 00:22:53.440
to put you in a position to get that power. And
00:22:53.440 --> 00:22:55.559
in all those cases, if you have not went through
00:22:55.559 --> 00:22:57.299
this framework, if you have not been aware and
00:22:57.299 --> 00:22:59.079
accepted, when you get to that level and you
00:22:59.079 --> 00:23:03.359
get there, guess what? The true unaligned version
00:23:03.359 --> 00:23:08.319
of yourself will be revealed. It will be revealed.
00:23:11.019 --> 00:23:15.380
It is absolutely scary, but it's absolutely necessary.
00:23:16.460 --> 00:23:19.519
It was absolutely necessary to go through those
00:23:19.519 --> 00:23:22.299
steps and to continue to go through it, right?
00:23:22.400 --> 00:23:27.000
Because when you first go through this experience
00:23:27.000 --> 00:23:30.799
and when you first start living in alignment,
00:23:31.059 --> 00:23:36.539
those that are closest to you will question if
00:23:36.539 --> 00:23:41.559
it's real or not. And the reason they're going
00:23:41.559 --> 00:23:44.220
to question if it's real is because they've seen
00:23:44.220 --> 00:23:47.259
you live the other way unaligned for so long.
00:23:48.619 --> 00:23:51.000
So here's the other part. Sometimes you don't
00:23:51.000 --> 00:23:55.119
get the reaction you think you need to get. Because
00:23:55.119 --> 00:23:57.000
sometimes when you change to get aligned, you
00:23:57.000 --> 00:23:59.119
expect the people to say, oh, I like this version
00:23:59.119 --> 00:24:02.839
of you. What if they don't say it? Yeah. A lot
00:24:02.839 --> 00:24:05.640
of times they're not going to say it. Because
00:24:05.640 --> 00:24:08.700
what you don't realize is they were. expecting
00:24:08.700 --> 00:24:11.839
this or have been praying for this or appreciate
00:24:11.839 --> 00:24:15.359
this. So now when it comes around, if you're
00:24:15.359 --> 00:24:19.519
doing it for recognition, if you're doing it
00:24:19.519 --> 00:24:23.940
for applause, if you're doing it for recognition,
00:24:24.400 --> 00:24:29.839
you're doing it for the wrong reasons. You just
00:24:29.839 --> 00:24:33.759
talked about other people around you. And we
00:24:33.759 --> 00:24:36.740
talked about how being out of alignment can be
00:24:36.740 --> 00:24:39.539
uncomfortable. But when you get in alignment, you
00:24:39.539 --> 00:24:42.799
know, it's fearful. But on the other side, Kecalf
00:24:42.859 --> 00:24:45.319
how long you been married? 17 years. How long
00:24:45.319 --> 00:24:47.980
you been married? 16 years. Been married 20 years.
00:24:48.819 --> 00:24:51.500
Going through your marriages, and I think I can
00:24:51.500 --> 00:24:54.880
speak for Rachel, I can speak for Timi, and
00:24:54.880 --> 00:24:57.400
I think I can speak for Shea. I also think I
00:24:57.400 --> 00:25:01.180
can speak for your kids, your kids, you know,
00:25:01.180 --> 00:25:04.220
my daughter, your parents, and so many other
00:25:04.220 --> 00:25:09.160
people that are in our lives. We decided to have
00:25:09.160 --> 00:25:12.200
the podcast. We didn't realize that it was leading
00:25:12.200 --> 00:25:15.400
through the alignment experience, but the vulnerability
00:25:15.400 --> 00:25:19.680
and the adjustments that we've made in our lives,
00:25:19.700 --> 00:25:25.099
I think your kids, your wives, our families recognize
00:25:25.099 --> 00:25:29.900
it, and we're able to show up better. I think
00:25:29.900 --> 00:25:33.690
that they love us different. I think we've been
00:25:33.690 --> 00:25:36.849
able to have a positive impact on so many other
00:25:36.849 --> 00:25:41.369
people around us. And some of the things that
00:25:41.369 --> 00:25:44.869
we needed to change to Kecalf's shirt, you could
00:25:44.869 --> 00:25:47.450
have been made aware of. You could not have been
00:25:47.450 --> 00:25:49.990
made aware of. But when somebody calls you out,
00:25:50.049 --> 00:25:51.789
you got to be willing to accept it. That's right.
00:25:53.089 --> 00:25:55.369
Some of these things that we, some of the blind
00:25:55.369 --> 00:25:58.230
spots that we had in our lives, whether it was
00:25:58.230 --> 00:26:00.970
who we were spending time with, what we were
00:26:00.970 --> 00:26:04.660
spending time doing, The things that we were
00:26:04.660 --> 00:26:09.140
doing were out of alignment, but I think through
00:26:09.140 --> 00:26:12.460
our brotherhood, we've been able to make individual
00:26:12.460 --> 00:26:16.519
adjustments, and we're not perfect. We don't
00:26:16.519 --> 00:26:19.619
have it all figured out, but with the adjustments
00:26:19.619 --> 00:26:22.940
that we've made in our own lives to get in alignment,
00:26:23.259 --> 00:26:27.359
I think we show up different. I think we show
00:26:27.359 --> 00:26:32.660
up different. As you said that, It's important
00:26:32.660 --> 00:26:35.920
to just understand like certain things in life
00:26:35.920 --> 00:26:37.819
that actually confirms things that are being
00:26:37.819 --> 00:26:43.299
said. Right. And something that we use as a means
00:26:43.299 --> 00:26:47.259
of transportation all the time is a car. And
00:26:47.259 --> 00:26:50.400
after a while, if you go to that shop, they're
00:26:50.400 --> 00:26:53.200
going to tell you it's time for an alignment.
00:26:54.839 --> 00:26:59.220
The funny thing about it. Even if it's not time
00:26:59.220 --> 00:27:01.339
for alignment, sometimes when you go in there
00:27:01.339 --> 00:27:05.160
and you make certain changes on your car, changing
00:27:05.160 --> 00:27:13.440
tires, changing rotors, they tell you we recommend
00:27:13.440 --> 00:27:18.019
that you have an alignment done after that. If
00:27:18.019 --> 00:27:20.460
it's good enough for our vehicles to get us around,
00:27:20.700 --> 00:27:26.529
right? Why is it not good enough for us? to realize,
00:27:26.730 --> 00:27:31.829
and that's the confirmation to me that a car
00:27:31.829 --> 00:27:34.410
can still be doing what it's purpose for for
00:27:34.410 --> 00:27:38.450
you. But even when you make small changes on
00:27:38.450 --> 00:27:43.309
that, you have to get in alignment. Yeah, that's
00:27:43.309 --> 00:27:49.069
good. That's good. I mean, because when you talk
00:27:49.069 --> 00:27:52.990
about that, a car can be out of alignment, like
00:27:52.990 --> 00:27:56.779
you said. you can still get to the grocery store
00:27:56.779 --> 00:28:03.059
and back. It'll be a bumpy ride. But you can
00:28:03.059 --> 00:28:07.539
get there, right? You can get there. But the
00:28:07.539 --> 00:28:11.859
longer you stay operating with that vehicle out
00:28:11.859 --> 00:28:15.460
of alignment, the more damage that you're doing
00:28:15.460 --> 00:28:18.299
to it, the more costly that's going to be down
00:28:18.299 --> 00:28:23.799
the road for you. But if you take the opportunity...
00:28:24.430 --> 00:28:31.609
to address it and get it fixed right now, the
00:28:31.609 --> 00:28:34.650
hardships you're saving yourself down the road.
00:28:37.589 --> 00:28:42.789
Get it in alignment. Yes. I want to add to that,
00:28:42.950 --> 00:28:49.309
right? That's a perfect, I got a perfect testimony
00:28:49.309 --> 00:28:52.910
about somebody getting something in alignment.
00:28:53.839 --> 00:28:56.480
you know if you ever notice me and you see where
00:28:56.480 --> 00:28:59.140
I go most of the time I go with two people you
00:28:59.140 --> 00:29:01.720
know my wife is with me of course but I take
00:29:01.720 --> 00:29:03.859
pride in having my daughter with me because I
00:29:03.859 --> 00:29:05.859
want to show her different things and I also
00:29:05.859 --> 00:29:08.359
take pride in taking my dad with me because I
00:29:08.359 --> 00:29:10.380
want to show my dad you know who I've become
00:29:10.380 --> 00:29:14.839
my dad and I were out um you know moving around
00:29:14.839 --> 00:29:19.180
the city and you know like always you know I
00:29:19.180 --> 00:29:21.099
just put my head down when he get to talking
00:29:21.599 --> 00:29:24.079
My dad would tell somebody, I'm proud of my son.
00:29:24.200 --> 00:29:27.740
He's done this. And I've always been there with
00:29:27.740 --> 00:29:30.500
him. We talked about that in a previous episode,
00:29:30.700 --> 00:29:33.940
the power of presence. He always would be there
00:29:33.940 --> 00:29:37.740
with me. And he was sharing with this guy that
00:29:37.740 --> 00:29:40.859
when I was playing ball in high school, he was
00:29:40.859 --> 00:29:43.400
there. When I went to college, he was there.
00:29:43.960 --> 00:29:47.619
And as I continue to grow. Even through our experience
00:29:47.619 --> 00:29:50.680
with the podcast, my dad always shows up as we're
00:29:50.680 --> 00:29:56.500
recording. And he was sharing that story with
00:29:56.500 --> 00:30:00.400
the guy that had a job that he needed to go to.
00:30:00.859 --> 00:30:06.200
But his daughter also had a sporting event that
00:30:06.200 --> 00:30:09.420
she needed to go to as well. And the daughter
00:30:09.420 --> 00:30:11.619
asked the dad, hey, dad, are you going to be
00:30:11.619 --> 00:30:14.779
at my event? The dad reluctantly said, maybe
00:30:14.779 --> 00:30:18.480
not because I got to go to work. But after hearing
00:30:18.480 --> 00:30:22.859
my dad's testimony, he was able to get his family
00:30:22.859 --> 00:30:28.380
in alignment. But what he said was, I don't want
00:30:28.380 --> 00:30:32.779
my daughter to resent my job because I put my
00:30:32.779 --> 00:30:39.859
job before my daughter. That's a classic episode
00:30:39.859 --> 00:30:43.319
of what you just said. If he did not take care
00:30:43.319 --> 00:30:46.279
of it at that point, that could have did so much
00:30:46.279 --> 00:30:50.119
more damage in the future. And there's somebody
00:30:50.119 --> 00:30:53.799
out there right now who needs to start doing
00:30:53.799 --> 00:30:58.740
something or stop doing something, whatever that
00:30:58.740 --> 00:31:02.140
means. You need to start spending time with somebody
00:31:02.140 --> 00:31:05.819
or stop spending time or start exercising or
00:31:05.819 --> 00:31:08.900
start saving money or stop. you know, shopping
00:31:08.900 --> 00:31:11.819
or stop drinking or stop. I don't know what in
00:31:11.819 --> 00:31:16.420
your life is out of alignment. But whatever it
00:31:16.420 --> 00:31:19.519
is, you need to think about it. Because the other
00:31:19.519 --> 00:31:23.380
part, Tony, after I talk to him about it, I'm
00:31:23.380 --> 00:31:26.700
going to close the story with it. God found a
00:31:26.700 --> 00:31:30.720
way to allow him to do both. Once he surrendered
00:31:30.720 --> 00:31:34.920
and accepted that, hey, I need to show up for
00:31:34.920 --> 00:31:38.289
my daughter. God found a way that he was able
00:31:38.289 --> 00:31:43.029
to do both. And that's typically how it happens.
00:31:44.049 --> 00:31:47.430
Some of the things, sometimes when you're out
00:31:47.430 --> 00:31:49.250
of alignment, you think there's only one answer
00:31:49.250 --> 00:31:52.990
to it. But sometimes when you're aware, when
00:31:52.990 --> 00:31:56.109
you accept, and when you become aligned, you'll
00:31:56.109 --> 00:32:01.650
be amazed how small things will find their way
00:32:01.650 --> 00:32:05.410
to... Number one, making sure that the main thing
00:32:05.410 --> 00:32:07.509
stays the main thing from a level of importance,
00:32:07.950 --> 00:32:11.630
but also allowing you to show up for your purpose
00:32:11.630 --> 00:32:14.210
as well. And I think that's a prime example of
00:32:14.210 --> 00:32:16.650
it because, and then the other piece in that
00:32:16.650 --> 00:32:20.109
I would say was communication. Like, one of the
00:32:20.109 --> 00:32:23.309
things that we as men have a hard time with is
00:32:23.309 --> 00:32:26.930
being open with communication. And sometimes
00:32:26.930 --> 00:32:32.349
we treat a child. As if they are a child and
00:32:32.349 --> 00:32:37.809
don't understand. And we don't understand the
00:32:37.809 --> 00:32:41.150
value of having a conversation with a child so
00:32:41.150 --> 00:32:42.970
that they can understand. Because if you've never
00:32:42.970 --> 00:32:45.869
talked to them about it, they're left with assuming,
00:32:46.269 --> 00:32:50.470
coming up with their own story of why mommy or
00:32:50.470 --> 00:32:54.250
daddy are not doing certain things. And I had
00:32:54.250 --> 00:32:57.250
to learn that the hard way. So I'm one of those
00:32:57.250 --> 00:33:00.490
people that benefited from your witness. You
00:33:00.490 --> 00:33:03.109
didn't have to say anything. You didn't have
00:33:03.109 --> 00:33:06.269
to say anything to me. But the fact that I saw
00:33:06.269 --> 00:33:08.869
you demonstrating having your daughter in a place,
00:33:08.910 --> 00:33:10.329
I started thinking about all the times, like,
00:33:10.369 --> 00:33:13.069
I had the ability to take my son, and I didn't.
00:33:14.089 --> 00:33:16.910
I was like, the audacity of him to have his daughter
00:33:16.910 --> 00:33:18.750
there, and I started thinking the audacity of
00:33:18.750 --> 00:33:23.210
me not to have my son there. Right? Because you
00:33:23.210 --> 00:33:26.049
made a choice to now everyone knows that if Eric
00:33:26.049 --> 00:33:29.529
shows up, he's coming with an entourage. And
00:33:29.529 --> 00:33:33.289
that's not a bad thing. Not in this case. Because
00:33:33.289 --> 00:33:37.829
in alignment, in the spirit of subtraction, some
00:33:37.829 --> 00:33:41.529
of y 'all need to release y 'all entourage. But
00:33:41.529 --> 00:33:43.970
in this entourage, this is an entourage that's
00:33:43.970 --> 00:33:46.670
pouring into you and helping you fulfill your
00:33:46.670 --> 00:33:50.230
purpose. And you said it earlier on an episode,
00:33:50.410 --> 00:33:54.450
I want people to understand it, is how you show
00:33:54.450 --> 00:33:59.019
up is your ministry. You said it. You said ministry.
00:33:59.619 --> 00:34:02.880
How you show up is your ministry. Your ministry
00:34:02.880 --> 00:34:08.159
speaks for you when you never utter a word. And
00:34:08.159 --> 00:34:10.159
that's good right there because I think a lot
00:34:10.159 --> 00:34:13.099
of times as people are navigating through this
00:34:13.099 --> 00:34:16.960
space of, like, man, am I walking in my purpose?
00:34:17.059 --> 00:34:19.440
I'm out of alignment. I feel like something's
00:34:19.440 --> 00:34:21.900
inside of me that I should be doing more, right?
00:34:22.260 --> 00:34:26.389
And they immediately look at it that, hey. I
00:34:26.389 --> 00:34:29.989
should be more vocal or talking to this or witnessing
00:34:29.989 --> 00:34:32.630
to this person through words and all of that.
00:34:32.710 --> 00:34:34.909
And they look inward and say, but that's not
00:34:34.909 --> 00:34:38.670
me. I can't do that. Right. Right. You know,
00:34:38.690 --> 00:34:42.389
that feeling is inside of you for a reason. Yes.
00:34:42.550 --> 00:34:45.110
If something's tugging at you that you should
00:34:45.110 --> 00:34:47.170
be doing more and there's something that's there.
00:34:47.429 --> 00:34:51.530
Yes. But don't get it wrong and start comparing
00:34:51.530 --> 00:34:55.809
it to others. Because just like you said. That
00:34:55.809 --> 00:35:00.050
was silent witnessing right there. So you didn't
00:35:00.050 --> 00:35:03.550
have to say a word, but it spoke volumes to both
00:35:03.550 --> 00:35:08.289
of us. And to others that see you every day.
00:35:08.590 --> 00:35:11.809
So that's the message of this. It's not that
00:35:11.809 --> 00:35:13.929
you're saying that, hey, you got to be on a podcast
00:35:13.929 --> 00:35:17.070
talking about this stuff. But your life needs
00:35:17.070 --> 00:35:19.909
to reflect these things. And I guarantee you,
00:35:19.989 --> 00:35:23.690
people are going to see it. And you will be making
00:35:23.690 --> 00:35:28.619
a difference. I appreciate that. And I think
00:35:28.619 --> 00:35:33.699
you also need to find other avenues, number one,
00:35:33.719 --> 00:35:36.840
to get your personal life, as you said, in alignment.
00:35:37.559 --> 00:35:40.780
But your witness can help so many other people.
00:35:41.679 --> 00:35:43.960
I think some of the conversations that we've
00:35:43.960 --> 00:35:46.340
had, you know, Kecalf, if you had talked about,
00:35:46.420 --> 00:35:49.019
again, about how you stopped taking wine, we
00:35:49.019 --> 00:35:51.579
all in corporate America, right? We all have
00:35:51.579 --> 00:35:54.219
those after hours events where you're able to.
00:35:54.840 --> 00:35:58.559
to drink. They give you tickets. It's expected.
00:35:59.619 --> 00:36:04.800
But when you're the one that's not drinking in
00:36:04.800 --> 00:36:07.780
that environment, it attracts people to you.
00:36:07.880 --> 00:36:12.019
And it gives them the opportunity to ask you
00:36:12.019 --> 00:36:16.000
those questions. They ask you those questions
00:36:16.000 --> 00:36:18.980
and now that you decided to make the change,
00:36:19.280 --> 00:36:22.280
you're able to also have an opportunity to witness
00:36:22.280 --> 00:36:25.789
to them. on ways that they can get in alignment.
00:36:25.929 --> 00:36:28.349
That's right. Right? Yeah. You might need to
00:36:28.349 --> 00:36:30.849
let it go. It might make you show up better.
00:36:30.949 --> 00:36:33.130
It might make you, you know, sleep better. You
00:36:33.130 --> 00:36:35.829
might be able to save money, whatever it is.
00:36:37.090 --> 00:36:40.210
And your life, like you mentioned, is going to
00:36:40.210 --> 00:36:43.070
be a silent witness to so many people. I passed
00:36:43.070 --> 00:36:45.469
off in the times tell us that your life is the
00:36:45.469 --> 00:36:49.309
only Bible that some people read. Your life is
00:36:49.309 --> 00:36:52.679
the only Bible that some people read. How are
00:36:52.679 --> 00:36:55.739
you showing up? And if you show up correctly,
00:36:56.099 --> 00:37:00.179
just your presence can help somebody else get
00:37:00.179 --> 00:37:06.920
in alignment. Tony, how did you find out, what
00:37:06.920 --> 00:37:10.219
spoke to you about your life being out of alignment
00:37:10.219 --> 00:37:16.099
and deciding to pen the book? Yeah. You know,
00:37:16.340 --> 00:37:22.280
Kecalf talked about that tug. There were things
00:37:22.280 --> 00:37:27.980
that I was truly avoiding. I knew that there
00:37:27.980 --> 00:37:29.900
were things I should have been doing in line.
00:37:30.079 --> 00:37:33.320
I like the example of you can drive, but it might
00:37:33.320 --> 00:37:37.280
be bumpy. Life was bumpy, man. It's like every
00:37:37.280 --> 00:37:40.340
time I took a step forward, it felt like something
00:37:40.340 --> 00:37:46.000
was pulling me back. And, of course, everything
00:37:46.000 --> 00:37:48.460
I've done in life has been about perseverance.
00:37:49.360 --> 00:37:53.719
So I tried to. through that, but the more I tried
00:37:53.719 --> 00:37:56.260
to persevere through that, the more I kept seeking
00:37:56.260 --> 00:37:58.840
resistance. So I knew there was something that
00:37:58.840 --> 00:38:02.420
was not being done properly. But you also said
00:38:02.420 --> 00:38:04.619
that you didn't do it by yourself. Absolutely
00:38:04.619 --> 00:38:09.099
not. Counseling. When we talk about getting things
00:38:09.099 --> 00:38:11.579
in alignment, you said you go to the shop to
00:38:11.579 --> 00:38:15.039
get your car aligned, but talk about the alignment
00:38:15.039 --> 00:38:19.909
support. Yes. that you had in order to get aligned.
00:38:20.190 --> 00:38:23.630
You went to counseling. I went to coaching. I
00:38:23.630 --> 00:38:26.570
opened up to my brothers. I started being honest
00:38:26.570 --> 00:38:28.650
to the people that mattered to me. I had those
00:38:28.650 --> 00:38:32.550
tough conversations. I forgave myself for things
00:38:32.550 --> 00:38:35.349
that I should have let go a long time ago. I
00:38:35.349 --> 00:38:37.570
cut people out of my life that I should have
00:38:37.570 --> 00:38:40.489
cut out of my life a long time ago. But more
00:38:40.489 --> 00:38:43.530
importantly, I made a commitment to God of what
00:38:43.530 --> 00:38:46.929
I would no longer do. And I made a commitment
00:38:46.929 --> 00:38:49.570
that I would start being open and yielding to
00:38:49.570 --> 00:38:54.489
what his word is telling me to do. I had tough
00:38:54.489 --> 00:38:56.369
conversations with people I needed to have tough
00:38:56.369 --> 00:38:58.849
conversations with, conversations I had been
00:38:58.849 --> 00:39:01.750
avoiding for decades. And I went back and had
00:39:01.750 --> 00:39:06.510
that conversation. So to be in alignment, it
00:39:06.510 --> 00:39:13.289
forces action. You have to act on. certain things
00:39:13.289 --> 00:39:15.849
that you've been withholding to get yourself
00:39:15.849 --> 00:39:20.269
back in alignment. You can't do it without resistance.
00:39:20.449 --> 00:39:25.469
The sheer act of becoming aligned forces change.
00:39:26.010 --> 00:39:28.909
And it's going against the gravity or something
00:39:28.909 --> 00:39:32.130
that's already been from a chiropractor to the
00:39:32.130 --> 00:39:34.909
change on the car. Whatever you're doing, it
00:39:34.909 --> 00:39:41.980
forces you to shift. So alignment... It's action.
00:39:42.599 --> 00:39:45.699
And it's action in the right direction to really
00:39:45.699 --> 00:39:49.360
have you now working seamlessly. And like I say,
00:39:49.500 --> 00:39:53.780
to continue to be in align, you have to continue
00:39:53.780 --> 00:39:55.480
to have that community. It's not a one -time
00:39:55.480 --> 00:39:59.679
fix. Yeah. So when you talk about things being
00:39:59.679 --> 00:40:04.820
out of alignment, this is a holistic concept.
00:40:05.900 --> 00:40:09.679
This is a holistic concept. You could be out
00:40:09.679 --> 00:40:13.579
of alignment physically. Your health can be out
00:40:13.579 --> 00:40:16.300
of alignment. If you're thinking about right
00:40:16.300 --> 00:40:19.460
now, hey, maybe you went to the doctor, your
00:40:19.460 --> 00:40:21.800
blood pressure, your cholesterol, you looked
00:40:21.800 --> 00:40:24.539
at the scale, and you weren't satisfied with
00:40:24.539 --> 00:40:28.340
what it read, the feedback that you got. Now
00:40:28.340 --> 00:40:30.780
those numbers, those results are going to make
00:40:30.780 --> 00:40:34.099
you aware, but you have to be willing to accept
00:40:34.099 --> 00:40:36.760
it. Yes, sir. And now you have to be willing
00:40:36.760 --> 00:40:40.579
to make that change to get those things in alignment.
00:40:42.159 --> 00:40:45.380
How many times have we said, how about this?
00:40:45.500 --> 00:40:47.679
How many times we say we're going to make New
00:40:47.679 --> 00:40:50.320
Year's resolutions? The New Year's resolutions
00:40:50.320 --> 00:40:54.900
is an opportunity for alignment. But why does
00:40:54.900 --> 00:40:58.360
it have to be a New Year's resolution? Why can't
00:40:58.360 --> 00:41:00.280
it be a New Day resolution? Why can't we start
00:41:00.280 --> 00:41:03.559
tomorrow? There you go. Why can't we start right
00:41:03.559 --> 00:41:06.599
now? Why can't we find accountability partners
00:41:06.599 --> 00:41:09.519
that are going to hold us accountable for having
00:41:09.519 --> 00:41:14.820
those tough conversations? You may need to role
00:41:14.820 --> 00:41:17.880
play some of these conversations. It's not going
00:41:17.880 --> 00:41:20.599
to be easy. You may need to go back and talk
00:41:20.599 --> 00:41:24.099
to your parents about some of the scenarios that
00:41:24.099 --> 00:41:26.579
have happened to you. Husbands may need to go
00:41:26.579 --> 00:41:28.840
back and talk to their wives. Fathers may need
00:41:28.840 --> 00:41:32.079
to go back and talk to their kids about some
00:41:32.079 --> 00:41:34.869
of the things that we've done well. but also
00:41:34.869 --> 00:41:37.909
about some of the mistakes that we made. But
00:41:37.909 --> 00:41:41.829
the energy that you go walk away with once you
00:41:41.829 --> 00:41:45.110
do it, it's going to force you to be better.
00:41:45.590 --> 00:41:48.550
It's going to force you to be better. I like
00:41:48.550 --> 00:41:50.769
the graphic that you have on your book, Beyond
00:41:50.769 --> 00:41:54.090
the Glass, because it shows the blurry side of
00:41:54.090 --> 00:41:57.090
it. And I think the blurriness represents the
00:41:57.090 --> 00:42:00.730
fear. That's right. It represents the fear. And
00:42:00.730 --> 00:42:02.590
going through the alignment experience, there
00:42:02.590 --> 00:42:07.869
is a fear. There is a fear. And once you make
00:42:07.869 --> 00:42:11.329
that jump, come on, man. Kecalf, I know Rachel loves
00:42:11.329 --> 00:42:15.289
you now, dog. I know she does. Yes, she does.
00:42:16.150 --> 00:42:21.789
And, you know, as you talk about wrapping all
00:42:21.789 --> 00:42:25.170
of this and pulling it all together, alignment
00:42:25.170 --> 00:42:29.650
in one area of your life is naturally going to
00:42:29.650 --> 00:42:34.889
hit. all areas of your life. So, yeah. Yeah.
00:42:34.989 --> 00:42:38.449
Man, we appreciate you all for checking out our
00:42:38.449 --> 00:42:42.210
alignment experience where we discussed awareness,
00:42:42.530 --> 00:42:47.829
acceptance, and alignment. We ask that you share
00:42:47.829 --> 00:42:51.389
this episode and all the other episodes with
00:42:51.389 --> 00:42:53.429
your friends, your family members, your frat,
00:42:53.429 --> 00:42:55.710
sororities, and other people in your community.
00:42:56.150 --> 00:42:58.809
Make sure you check out the tony dixon and friends
00:42:58.809 --> 00:43:02.429
podcast like share and subscribe thank you all
00:43:02.429 --> 00:43:02.809
so much