The Observer Effect: How Metacognition Will Change Your Reality FAST

davina: Hello, my loves. Welcome back to another episode of the upgrade edit. I am coming to you with so much excitement this morning. I have had such a big few weeks. It has been all systems go over here. I have my retreat in the Amazon in a few short days. And my little one is going away to New Zealand. So this is gonna be our first really big stint away from each other that we've ever had. And so the last few weeks I've just really been honing in on like mumming and work and just it's kind of just been like her down bum up vibes. but she's left now and I have this next week just to myself to really just prepare and to reflect and to just really ground my energy before this adventure. And over the last few weeks, probably the last month, It has just been so interesting what has been coming up for me. But I think the biggest thing of all is my ability now to be the observer. to be the observer of the themes or the triggers or, you know, the old nervous system conditioning or the old wiring of belief systems that can pop up and can kind of send you back into those old unconscious ways. And A big thing really happened for me a couple of weeks ago where I was just, you know, in a situation that is not normal for me. look, I'll be honest, it was just like a weird co-parenting debacle. And it really fucked up my nervous system, you guys. Like I spent a good few days feeling super heightened, right? Like super heightened, super like scattered. I was You know, my thoughts were ruminating. It was just, it was exhausting and draining. But what I noticed amongst all the mental chatter and physical symptoms was there was this voice in the back of my head that was like, Davina babe, you know that this isn't your life. Like you know that you have such a peaceful, beautiful oasis waiting for you on the other side of this situation. and it's not gonna be long until you get there. You just have to go through it. It really was, it was like this little voice in my head was singing, like, you can't go over it, you can't go under it, you gotta go through it. And that was so it was so comforting, right? Because I think my whole life I've always been very aware of the voice that was like, You're not good enough. You need to do better, or like, look, this is how shit your life is. This is how life is gonna be forever. You're gonna die in this place, you know. so this is like the first time that I really observed my little voice that now has completely changed her tune because I have done so much work rewiring, you know, my my subconscious. That I know, I live such an abundant, beautiful, peaceful life. It was really beautiful to notice that voice instead of the voice confirming that yes, your life is horrible and you are going to feel this way forever. It was really beautiful to see how much I really had rewired my subconscious. Because, you know, the thoughts that were coming up for me was like, don't worry, this is all a part of the process. You were just a human doing a human experiencing thing. And this is all a part of your lesson. And what was also really beautiful is I was able to really witness myself within this situation, noticing where I actually was going back into my old ways of being. You know, when I where I was coming from a place of not love, like I was coming from a place of maybe bitterness or resentment or, you know, just all these things that I don't like. Doing like that is actually just not me to my core. Like, I know that I am so happy and successful when I am leading from the heart. And that is my superpower. And anything that isn't that is not me in alignment. So it was just really, it was such an interesting gift. Well, a beautiful gift to have been able to receive because one. I actually ended up being so grateful for this mishap because it showed me one truly how much work I had done and how I was able to recognize myself within the experience. Two, it was able to show me some of my blind spots, like some places where I actually am still operating from this old timeline, which I don't want to be. I don't want to be that person ever. And then three, it was able to show me my resilience. I already know I'm resilient, but I also don't really put myself in situations often where I'm like super triggered or things feel really icky for me. Like I'm super protective of my peace, I'm really high on my boundaries, and I usually just don't let shit get to me. But I was in deep ludial, you guys, so like fucking everything got to me that week. and I think I needed to go back into that space just to be reminded like, okay, yeah, you don't wanna be that person. There are ways that you can go about a situation without you having to slip back into old ways of being. So I was really grateful. I have noticed within that experience that I can now officially be the observer to my life. And this is always a concept that I've heard about and I've understood, but I never like I never had really, really embodied it before. and it was a term what is it called? I Joe Dispenza. I remember hearing it from Joe Dispenza first. And when he talks about being the observer. He's referring to metacognitive awareness or metacognition. So basically a simple way to put it is your thought. So you're thinking something must be going wrong. But then metacognition is you saying, interesting, I'm noticing my mind creating the thought and that something is going wrong. So it's like you observing the thoughts that you are having about a certain situation. Does that make sense? So there has now been more times that I have picked up me being the observer in these last couple of weeks. And because I do a lot of work in this space, right? Like I know what it's like to be aware of your thoughts and then change it. And then be aware of your thoughts and then try and change or choose different. And I feel like a lot of my work over the last few years has been me getting really good at like picking up on the thoughts and then trying to change it, but never really just wholeheartedly like completely rejecting the 3D and being like, no, this is just an experience. And being able to like compartmentalize if that makes sense. So for instance, because I okay, so because I have been very aware of this and I've really enjoyed playing with this. And I really believe that when you're aware of your thoughts and you're aware of the patterns and you're consciously able to change, you are putting yourself in a higher timeline. Right then and there, you are quantum leaping into a new timeline. Right then and there, you are changing your personality, which means you change your personal reality. So, for instance, I went for a walk the other day. And I'm like, I'll just go around the back streets because I actually couldn't be fucked putting a bra on. Like I was just wearing like weird active wear. I mean, the girlies who get it get it. Like sometimes you can wear your favorite active wear and you feel amazing. You're like so good about being seen out and about doing your walks. Not that it matters, but like you know, when you're feeling on and you're like, fuck yeah, I'm gonna do my walk and I'm gonna, it's gonna be a hot girl walk, amazing. That this day was not a hot girl walk day. This day was like you know, I'm literally dragging myself out of the house for a mental health walk and I'm like not even going to care about what the fuck I look like. But yeah. So anyway, no bra. And so my little titties are just like bouncing around in this really like sheer kind of top. But it was like bamboo and comfy. So I'm like, I just want to be comfortable. Anyway. Get to the end of this street and there is like this huge construction site, right? With like it seemed like a thousand fucking men. And instantly my stomach dropped. And I was like, Davina, why did we have to pick this way when you're wearing like this skimpy, not even like hot skimpy, like like just grubby, skimpy top. And just looking like a mess and you're not even wearing a bra. And it I was like instantly, I picked up on that thought. And I was like, Davina, these men are doing their jobs. Like, firstly, I really don't think they're gonna give a fuck whether you're wearing a bra or not. Secondly, why like where does this thought come from that this is such a big thing? Like This is just a blip in someone's day is maybe noticing you walking down the street. And I can guarantee that that they're not even thinking that you look like a absolute mess. They're just noticing you as a human in on planet Earth. Right? And I was just like, that's such an interesting thing that you have really like you made this be such a big thing in your body. Like my anxiousness started going up. I noticed my shoulders like flew up to my ears. I kind of like had a little bit of a hunchback. I almost wanted to turn around and like dull myself down, not be seen. And I'm like, why don't I change that? You know, what is the worst that could happen that I walk past this construction site and it's going to take 0.2 seconds and then I'm done and then I can just continue my walk that I wanted to do. So I put on my big girl pants and I just like went and did it. And I just noticed, I'd like was noticing every thought, every sensation, everything that was coming up in the body while I was doing the thing. And then I got to the other side and I was like, Wow, I could have completely changed my whole entire walk based on me doing this like small little thing and walking past these people and the insecurity of me, like thinking that this was going to be such an extravagant moment when in actual fact it really wasn't. And so right then and there in real time, I was actually able to Drop my shoulders, like allow my chest to stick out a little bit more and walk with more confidence and just know, like, whoa, how many times in my life have I assumed that people would judge me or people would think a certain way about me? But it's just me thinking that they would be thinking that that in turn has made that my reality. That is not what they are thinking. So again, I've just noticed this pattern. Which then has literally rewired my brain to now every single day that I've gone out on a walk, I'm doing something that's a little bit more uncomfortable for me. So this is like like now I actually am not walking with a bra on. Like I'm not walking with a bra on. I've gone to the extreme now that I've bought myself a weighted vest, you guys, and I'm walking with a weighted vest on. I look ridiculous. Like I look like I'm some tryhard FBI agent or something. But I'm like, No, I'm going like I don't care what I look like because I know people don't care. Like people don't care. so I know you you if you listen to me or you've followed me for a while, you probably have this idea that like I don't mentally think about things like that. You're probably like, you know, she's always preaching these things to other people. but there is such humanness in me, you guys. Like I am, I do get insecure. I do feel uncomfortable about myself. I do have these like little inner demons that pop up sometimes, but it's about like recognizing them and facing them and choosing different and learning different. And I believe that, you know, now I've gotten to a point that Finally, those years of making those small little changes or those small little decisions and showing up for yourself and doing something different to what you've always done has actually rewired me to a point that I am able to be so comfortable in my experiencing, even if it is uncomfortable, because I enjoy watching it through my observer eyes and noticing the humanness in me and also like the spiritualness in me. Does that make sense? And it also gives me so much, it makes me feel so powerful in my own life because I really feel like now I actually get to control what I react to. I get to control what consumes me. And I also get to hold it if it is just consuming me. Like I don't have to fix things straight away. I'm able to notice what's showing up for me. And then I can try and regulate myself. I can try you know, the things that I have in my toolkit, but I also understand that I don't need things to go away instantly. I can observe them, I can sit with them, I can give it compassion, but also understand that that is not who I am and that is not my reality. It's just a moment. Does that make sense? So I encourage you today, observe your life, observe your thoughts almost as if there is a third person around in your psyche. and just notice the ways that you're talking to yourself throughout the day, the ways that you are, you know, choosing the same old route or the same old systems or the same old beliefs. Maybe we can just try and like switch it up a little, even if it's uncomfortable, observe the uncomfortable and enjoy who you become in that process. and also something cool that has happened. I think I shared with you guys a couple of episodes ago that I have started burning my journals. And I had held on to my journals for years. I had years and years and years of journals. and I have finished burning them all. I think I've already mentioned that I feel like that has actually energetically made such a huge difference for me. And I've actually naturally now just found myself going through and clearing so much. Like there have been gym shorts and leggings that I've held on for years that I've just been naturally throwing out. Every day I'm throwing something out or giving something away or allowing cre Or creating space. And it's feeling really good. So even just going through my photos like every day, like I'll go through and delete old photos. And these are memories that like, you know, I thought that I really wanted to hold on to. But it's been really nice getting rid of them and being like, I don't feel like I'm missing anything anymore. Like I know that that chapter in my life is closed and I don't think I need to go back there and, you know, I can have so much gratitude for those photos and for those memories, but I don't need to hold on to them physically anymore. I can create space. even the other day, this is woo-woo for you guys. I was in preparation to the Amazon as well. I feel like there's something really big coming for me because there is a lot of newness Happening, like I've been saying, with the observing of the thoughts and the groundedness and all the things and the creating space. Like these are all just natural instincts that are just coming to me. And I'm having these weird thoughts every day of like, I need to do this now. I need to do this now. And I'm like, that's so interesting that I'm starting to do like, yeah. Anyway. So I have had the same mug for about six years. Since Mila was about one, and I got it as a Secret Santa gift from my her dad's family. And I love it. It's my favorite, favorite mug. It sits perfectly in my hands. It's like got this Moroccan like design on it. Like, if you're one of my clients, you've absolutely seen me drink out of this mug in one of our sessions. Like, you've seen this mug. And the other night. I was just with my little babe. I was about to make our sleepy tea and I looked at my mug and instantly because like I have been given so many mugs from Mila for Christmas and like Mother's Day and which is so sweet because she knows I love my teas and stuff. But I've never used them because I love my mug, my little safety net, my little comfort, you know, my little comfort mug. So anyway, I was looking at these other mugs. And I found one that she had got me, which is like purple and it says Mum on it, and it's yellow on the inside. It's got a big flower on it. And I was like, fuck, that's such a cute mug. And I'm like, I think I want to get rid of my old mug. And I think I want to step into this new mug today. And I got Mila and I was like, babe, I need you. I'm like, Mila, I need you quick. And she's like, What? Runs runs into the kitchen. And my dad was there too. I was like, Dad, I need you. And he's What? What's happened? So they're both in the kitchen. And of course, like Woo Woo me is like, I want us to be in a ritual currently. can we all stand in a circle? And they're like, What the fuck's going on? And I'm like, This mug has served me well and it's seen so much change in my life. And it has been there through the darkest of times and the happiest of times, and the moments that I used to, you know, sip my morning coffee with my my beautiful dog who's now passed on in the morning, you know, at night time when I put myself to sleep, like just it seems so much, but I feel like it's time to start a new chapter. I want to get rid of my mug. I've gotten rid of my journals. I wanna get rid of this mug. And they were like, Ooh, I love this. And Dad was like, Yeah, I think that's a great idea. What yeah. So we all took turns in beating the absolute fucking shit out of our mu my mug with one of the bread roller things. What are they called? I don't know. Bread rollers. Obviously, I do not bake bread. anyway, dough rollers. Yeah. Anyway. So we all just hammered the shit out of it, broke it into a million pieces. They went back and did their own thing and they were like, okay, cool, bye. And I just stood there and looked at it and I was like, Wow. Like you don't realize energetically how much you still hold on to. And I talk to my clients about it all the time about like cutting energetic cords. You don't realize like we spiritually surrogate for so many people and we have so many cores to different places and things and you know spiritual hygiene is so important. But I you know, never realized that there were so many things in my day-to-day life that I had had from old timelines, that I was still bringing old timelines into my new reality. And, you know, it's a little bit bittersweet, but I'm like, that was good. It taught me a lot, but I'm so ready for the words that I'm going to journal in these chapters to come. And the c you know, the tea that I'm going to be able to sip while I'm journaling from my new mug. And the sunsets that I'll get to watch while I drink my cacao from my new mug. Like, I'm so happy to be looking forward. And yeah. And then from there, it's like now I'm obsessed every day. I'm like getting rid of something new. Every day I'm like, how can I change this slightly? And then now, even in the last month, I'm like, whoa, my reality looks so different already. And I haven't even like made any drastic changes. It's just little bits day by day, little decisions day by day, little movements minute by minute, where you are moving in the direction of your true purpose, your true alignment. And that's what it is, right? Like it's just what is what can you do moment by moment to serve your highest purpose, to be in your highest expression, to be your highest self. It's not about drastically going out and making huge change overnight. It's like the little decisions that you choose to be like, you know what? I'm not going to let the fear of being seen right now ruin my fucking afternoon walk. I'm not going to let this inner critic saying you don't look good enough or you are not enough or you're going to be judged or, you know, let you change your route. Like Keep moving in the direction of your dreams. Keep moving and showing up for yourself every single day. And move through the pain. Move through the discomfort of noticing your old triggers, noticing these parts of you that are popping up and showing themselves to you. It is a blessing to be able to notice yourself get triggered, to be able to go through hardships, to be able to hit rock bottom and crawl yourself out. It doesn't sound beautiful, but there is so much lesson and so much to be learned in those moments. Enjoy it. Enjoy it because you will be grateful for those moments because it will turn you into someone who is unlike anything you could have ever imagined. And the power of my mind, I know now, is so incredibly potent. I can make or break my reality within a second. I can make or break my day within a second with one thought. So that's why I have to be so fucking on top of my shit, man. Because I want life to feel this good. I want to marinate and how delicious this life is. So that's why I am spending so much fucking energy and time on. Noticing what it is that I am thinking, what words I am saying to myself, which direction I am taking each day, what I'm choosing for myself every day. It's intentional. And this work is not for the lighthearted. Like you will be exhausted. This is where I have to spend so much time alone, you guys. Like, I'm not this social butterfly that you think you may think I am. My 99% of my days is recuperation because I literally spend so much time and energy on living intentionally. Literally choosing best case scenario for myself any possible moment that I can. Like my nighttime routine is not just a fucking have a shower, slap some moisturizer on, go to bed. my nighttime routine is so incredibly intentional. And this is including my child within you know my rituals like this is slowing down, candles, lavender, bamboo clothing. This is cooking with you know non-toxic fucking cookware. This is like trying to choose the best for myself in any possible place that I can. But also having compassion for myself when I actually couldn't be fucked, when I just want to order Uber Eats or when I am not showing up as the best version of myself or I'm tired or I'm pissed off or I'm just want to swamp in my emotions. Like it also takes energy to be compassionate for yourself as well because you are not going to be your highest self all the time. And it is going to take work. And it is hard being in the void of not knowing what's next and not having the answers and also not having control. But being able to sit with yourself and nurture yourself In those moments of uncertainty is also the work. And it's all work. This is the work. This is what we came here to do. And I want to just remind you like if you are going through a hard time right now, this is your work. And you don't have to do it alone. You know, reach out to me. Come get some support from me, support, get support from your friends. Open yourself to new ways and being able to receive and to be able to hold and to help build capacity for you to hold more. Like this is what we need to do. We need to understand that life is never going to be incredible, amazing, like rainbows and fairies all the time. It's going to be like fucking shit sometimes and it's going to feel very human. But we learn to expand our capacity for it. And we can only do that the more that we work through the more that we experience. We can't just completely close our ourselves off to experiencing. It's like, you know, when I was celibate for three years, that was fun and easy. Well it wasn't because you know you you have those sensations and feelings of like loneliness and unworthiness and insecurity and all those things. So you you work on all this stuff by yourself, but you are also blocking yourself off to you know, the work that has to be done only through different connections with other people. There's work everywhere. It's not all just rainbows and butterflies. But the beautiful thing is you the more you do the work, the bigger your threshold, the more you can hold, the more capacity you have. And then you really get to marinate in the butterflies and the rainbows when they are here because, I like to think that my life really is pretty wonderful. Pretty, you know, it's a it's pretty amazing. But it's also hard sometimes. But I also really love that because I enjoy this journey. You know, it's today is actually the eighth of the eighth, so the whole Lionsgate thing, that's a whole nother topic. yeah. If you're into astronomy, like right now it's The Lionsgate portal thing isn't actually even a thing. It's more, I think if you like numbers, then amazing, like 8-8, perfect. But when it comes to astronomy, there isn't, it's not a significant day in the skies, really. that's another topic. But you know, in my journal this morning, I was like, okay, what would where would I want to be this time next year? And I actually found it really hard to. Write down a list of desires. Because honestly, I'm really happy here. Really, really, really happy here. And I also have so much faith that if I'm happy here now, and you know, life is great, but it's not like, you know, I have a $10 million home, or I've got, you know, millions of dollars in the bank, or I've got like this beautiful Adonis husband that's just fucking worships me. But I I know that this time in a year, my life will feel, if not 20 times better than this. At least even if it felt slightly better than this. Amazing. But also even if it didn't, this feels really fucking good. I'm so happy here. So yeah, it was it was hard for me to Bring out a manifestation list because right now I'm just so truly grateful. You know, so truly grateful. Because a couple of weeks ago I was going through what felt like hell in my body. And then I got to come back to my beautiful, peaceful life. And I was like, wow, girl. Look at what you got right in front of you. How nice is this? Sometimes it's really nice going through hard times and going through tower moments because when you do get to come back to yourself, you get to be like, wow. You know what? I have created a really nice life for myself. What a blessing that these challenges get to come and then they get to go and I get to come back to this. My life. My oasis that I've made through all of these different decisions and all of these different, you know, choices. I've created this beautiful life right here. So yeah, it does get to feel this good. So my loves, allow yourself to be the observer. Today and write down the thoughts, you know. Notice what thoughts you think the most. Notice where you've changed your thoughts and notice where you've moved different or where you've moved in the direction of maybe fear. Exciting. That is your little homework for this weekend, this week. And of course, if you want to work with me, please send me through a message. You can head over to my website, theupgrade by divina.com. And also I actually had a couple of people reach out. if you are running a retreat or if you were holding an event and you would like me to speak or run some kind of workshop or maybe even a group healing for you, please let me know because I actually do offer that as well. I've had a few people ask me this question and I was like, you know what? I should probably put that on my website. app hire me out. Like you are absolutely able to do that. So If you have something that's in the works or you want to collaborate in some way, let me know. I love community. I love women. I love doing all the things. but I'm gonna be a little bit MIA for the next couple of weeks because I will be in Peru. I will be deep in the Amazon, drinking ayahuasca with shamans and my beautiful group of retreat guests. I cannot wait to take you on that journey with me. It's gonna be magical. But yeah, enjoy. Go out and burn your journals, go out and smash your mugs, whatever you have to do. But most of all, be gentle with yourselves. Sending lots of love.