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Hi, Whitney.
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This is our first surviving and thriving episode.
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I was talking with you recently that one of the things that we said we were going to do on our podcast, it says it in our intro is that we're going to talk about how we are surviving and thriving.
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So I wanted us to talk today about how we are surviving and thriving.
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What are the ups and downs what's going on in our lives this summer, the summer of 2023.
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So here we are.
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thank you for reminding me that we are surviving and thriving because I think it's important for us, to talk about it.
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Today, I feel like I'm surviving a little bit.
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I am recording outside my normal habitat.
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I am dog sitting at my sister's house in Maryland.
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And, there's all these noises outside, like someone mowing the lawn or weed Whacker.
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I don't know.
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I just moved rooms to not hear the noise.
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And now I'm hearing it.
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Out the other window, so I am surviving today with trying, not to have the sounds of suburbia in the background, which is ironic to me because usually when I'm in the city, you could hear a pin drop.
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Yeah, that's very interesting.
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Maybe you're just, immune to city sounds.
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That's true.
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But, the weed whacker might make an appearance on today's episode, but hopefully not.
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Well, it's, just an extra little layer of flavor, the suburban flavor.
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That's right.
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Well, I've had an interesting experience so far at my sister's house cause I've had to care for her two dogs who are a little bit out of sorts cause Devin and her family had been traveling a lot this summer.
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I think they miss, they miss their, their family at the dogs, miss their family.
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Um, and they've been needy for me.
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They can't make up their mind.
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Do they want to go in?
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Do they want to go out?
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Meanwhile, Mowgli is basically snoring behind me.
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You can see his little feet.
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And for those that don't know, Whitney has a dog named Mowgli.
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I don't know that we've ever mentioned Mowgli on an episode.
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So yes, she has Mowgli who is super cute.
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He loves to chew on ice cubes.
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He's the best.
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he does love ice cubes.
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we took him for a walk yesterday and it was a little bit warm, so he had ice cubes yesterday, too.
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Yes.
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I just love that.
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So Whitney talking about surviving and thriving this summer.
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We've had all sorts of things going on.
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right now I'm on summer vacation as a teacher.
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We're off in the summer.
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So that's been really great.
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For me, the biggest thing is always finding a routine in the summer because we don't have school, as an obliger, which is someone who needs the outer accountability.
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Sometimes it's hard for me to stick to a good routine because I really could do whatever I want.
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But I know for you, you've been traveling around all over the place with your job.
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You just finished your summer travel, which.
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Started in May, right?
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Yeah, well, it's funny,
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Whitney, I know that you love the summer travel and that's probably one of the favorite points of your job.
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But could you tell us first of all, what is your job exactly?
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What have you been doing this summer at all your different travel projects and sites?
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I'd just love to hear more about how you were able to manage traveling for months on end in the summer and staying sane.
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Suze, that you say that you're having trouble forming your routine in the summer, because you have, less things going on.
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I also find that it's hard to stick with a routine in the summer because I have more things going on.
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So, it works both ways, first off.
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so, Suze, as you said, I work for an organization called Warrior Scholar Project.
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it's a non profit that helps enlisted veterans and service members, prepare for the transition to higher education.
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So, one of those...
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challenges that, enlisted veterans and service members face if they are separating from the military or have separated from the military and are thinking about going to college is that they haven't been in a classroom probably for a long time or if they have, they might be trying to muscle through it on their own and it's just not an ideal situation, right?
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They're a lot of times going back to school as an older student, between the ages of.
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You know, 21, 24, 36, and they're in a classroom with traditional age college students who they, might not feel that they have a lot, in common with or, similar struggles.
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they might have families at that point.
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So it's just, it's a really big transition.
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And, my primary role at Warrior Scholar Project is I'm the Director of Communications and Marketing, so that's the role I fulfill for the organization all year long.
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But in the summer, I get an extra, little hat to wear that I, that I love, which is I get to go to our programs, which we have academic boot camps hosted with 21 college and university partners across the country.
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And we We host these academic boot camps.
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They're immersive experiences to simulate what it's like to be in college.
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So, we have a group of veterans and service members coming to a campus.
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for example, the campuses that I traveled to this summer were Yale University, Brown University, and Columbia University.
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And they are living in the dorms.
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They're eating in the dining halls.
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They're going to class with, and being taught by professors from that university.
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And also by peer mentors that are also other student veterans.
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And so it's a really cool experience and it kind of shows them that they can do this, right?
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they have what it takes and they can gain the confidence that they'll succeed in college.
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So, in the summer, as I said, I get to go to these programs and I spend Roughly 10 days at each program.
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If we do a one week program, that's how long as a staff person I, I have to be on campus.
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so, I go away for fairly long work trips in the summer, and this summer, at the beginning of the summer, I had my nephew's graduation in Maryland, and then I went from there straight to training for work, in Florida.
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And then straight from training to a 10 day program at Yale.
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So, my first travel experience of the summer, I was away from my husband and Mowgli, for 23 days.
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Wow.
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So I guess my question, first of all, I should backtrack for a second.
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I think it's incredible.
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The programs that your organization puts on, it's such a great idea.
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But of course it makes a lot of sense that the veterans would be so far removed from that academic experience.
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I'm sure that would be quite a transition.
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So it's incredible.
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And last year I got to see that a little bit firsthand when I visited you at Princeton,
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Yes.,
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and got to meet some of your fellows and some of the people in the program.
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And I thought it was just so cool that you were staying in the dorm and, simulating this whole.
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Experience but my question is, how are you able to travel that much and be away from Mowgli, Nate, your home?
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Do you feel like you're off routine?
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How much does that really affect you?
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Well, obviously, being away from your family is hard.
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But if I'm going to be away from my family, at least...
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What I, I feel what I'm doing when I'm away from my family is worth the sacrifice, right?
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I'm putting good into the world in some way, so that's helpful.
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I think it is always hard in the summer because it seems like I have a routine at home and then I have a routine when I'm traveling and the travel routine is, is kind of short lived in the way that I'm there for ten days.
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So I, establish a routine and then I leave and go home, right?
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So I think sometimes it's harder to establish the routine there, even though each course I'm at has a very similar schedule.
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but like exercise, for example, not always knowing what, facilities are available whenever I'm going somewhere.
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So like when I'm home, I'm like really into my gym, we do personal training, I play a lot of pickleball, I'm very good about being in a good exercise routine when I'm home.
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I mean, I've, we walk our dog, there's a lot going on.
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depending on the campus I go to, and if we have gym access, that can be, unpredictable, right?
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This summer, oh, two of the three campuses that I went to had gym access, but it was varying.
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So, what I need for my normal fitness routine, only one of the campuses really had something for that.
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So, that's challenging, but the other campus that had gym access was also in New York City, so I could always just go for a walk and walk as long as I wanted because there's like an endless options of things to see in New York City, right?
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Right.
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So I think the, exercise routine and the sleep routine are two of the things that it's hard to go back and forth between.
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one thing that I always do now that I learned last summer, to start doing was I got a travel pillow that's a really nice pillow and that really helps because sleeping on a dorm bed with the, pillow they give you that's they buy them in like the thousands and they just hand them out, right, is not really conducive to getting a good night's sleep for me.
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I'm beyond the point where I can just like, I'm a side sleeper, so I can sleep on like a hard floor and be okay.
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So, packing a travel pillow has been a game changer in the sleep department.
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Whitney, by travel pillow, is it a smaller pillow or it's literally just a separate pillow that you use for travel or is it one that's a little bit more compact?
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both.
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So, I got what's called a pillow cube, which I can, put, we can put a link to the show notes.
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I'm a side sleeper, so.
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Finding a good pillow can be difficult, right?
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But there were all these ads on Instagram one time for this pillow cube, and it was specifically for side sleepers.
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And so I was at that stage where I was like, let me just try it.
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Maybe it's cool.
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and it, the actual pillow cube is a, it's like a cube pillow, so it comes in this little travel size, And I liked it, but it was kind of small.
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So, they make a bigger one for my bed, so I, Once I realized I liked it, I immediately ordered the big one for my bed.
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But also, it comes in really handy for travel.
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And it's easy to compress into a compression bag.
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That sounds really smart.
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And you had mentioned about the pillow cube.
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you also use packing cubes as well for your trips.
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Yes, packing cubes are really helpful because you can categorize the types of things you need, a lot of people have, a standard packing list, which I probably should make one in writing somewhere, But, for now, I have things I need and outfits I need for my travel, Which my travel, I might need, when I travel for boot camps in the summer.
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I might need casual clothes for every day.
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My camp counselor attire, as I think I jokingly called it when you were at Princeton.
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which is my work polo and some shorts and some nice walking shoes.
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Cause, walking around these campuses, you have to be comfy.
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so I might need more casual wear for day to day stuff that's comfy.
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But then, we have an end of course reception at each of our events.
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So, I need a formal...
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Dress and, dress shoes, as well.
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So I have to pack a range of outfits.
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The last, campus I was at this summer, went right into our alumni conference at Princeton.
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So I got to go back to Princeton after Columbia.
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and I needed a variety of business casual outfits for that conference.
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So, just having the packing cubes allows you to designate a cube for each purpose.
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Or at least for me, it, it, that's how I use them.
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Yeah, I actually started using packing cubes this year as well.
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I feel like I need more of them, because I, yeah, I ran out, so some of my stuff was in cubes and not others,
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Yeah, they've been a huge help for me.
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I ended up getting, a set last year before I did travel, and then I immediately bought a matching second set because, as you said, I feel like you need, a certain quantity of them just to even get started.
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even now when Nate and I go places, he's always like Hey, can I have one of those cube things?
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Yeah, I noticed my sister, on her, our family vacation, she was using, and the shoe organizers that you can buy, for kids clothes, you can put an outfit inside each one of those little shoe.
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Yeah.
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Pockets she had whole outfits put together for her kids that included the shorts, the top, what underwear and socks and rolled it all in a little ball and put it in each little pocket.
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thought that was pretty clever.
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so there's all sorts of little travel hacks.
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I think that it's helpful just to figure out, which one is sustainable for you because, for me, the packing cubes are helpful, I also like, those compression bags, I don't know if you've ever seen them, the, travel compression bags, so, if I'm at a campus where there's not access to laundry, I would just, put them in a compression bag and, roll them up so then they take less room in the suitcase but, they're kind of away from anything that you have in your suitcase that you may not have worn on the trip or you may have washed and, is still clean in your bag.
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and I, I use one of those for my pillow as well because it, is able to compress my pillow down to a much smaller size so it doesn't take up as much room in my suitcase.
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Oh, I love that.
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That's such a good idea because it just keeps everything more compact and manageable in your suitcase.
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Mm hmm.
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Yeah.
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I know that you were telling me offline.
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Really summer travel is where you're thriving.
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You're not really surviving that.
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Everyone else thinks that you're surviving.
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Cause like I said, other people are projecting their anxieties like, Oh my gosh, you're gone for so long.
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But really, for you, you're enjoying it so much.
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So maybe you could just go into briefly of how your summer travel is really, when you thrive, it's your favorite time of year.
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And why is that?
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currently I work remotely, so I don't get to see my coworkers in real life very often.
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And summer is one of the few times that I get to see them and interact with them on a somewhat of a regular basis.
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at our first campus, Yale, we had two, cohorts running concurrently, so I got to see several of my colleagues, both, our seasonal fellows and some of the folks that are on central staff with me full time.
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so that was really cool.
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At training, I got to see everyone.
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So I think for me, a lot of it is the people and, part of that is the people I already know, right?
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The people who are a part of my work routine, but I just don't get to see them very often, and that makes it exciting because it's, feels like a special occurrence.
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But also, I really just love watching the impact of our programs in real time.
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seeing the students come in, seeing them their very first day, how they're excited, but you can tell they're a little bit nervous, and then as programming starts, The nervousness comes out a little bit because it is an intense program, and it's intentionally an intense program, to show them that they can do it.
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But, there is a point.
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In the week where, you can see that they're, feeling the stress.
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But then you also get to see them overcome it, so it's that, rewarding experience of, watching the, growth that happens in such a short time.
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And then seeing them basically, graduate from the program on that, final Friday, right?
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that's really cool.
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and so I think, again, if I'm going to be away from my family for this long, It should be for something that is impactful as that, right?
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And it sort of fills my cup in that way, if that makes sense.
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Oh, absolutely.
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Whitney.
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Actually, what you just said dovetails perfectly into what I was going to talk about next about how I'm thriving is, I recently just experienced seeing students of mine graduate.
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I understand completely the fulfillment that you feel and seeing students overcome a challenge.
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Maybe really, watch like the self actualization process.
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You're seeing them maybe start out with some trepidation, anxiety, and then by the end they've achieved something and you can see how proud they are.
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You're proud of them.
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It just feels like this big full circle moment.
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And that's exactly what I experienced, as a teacher.
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This past, spring, the fifth graders that I had when I first began my job just graduated eighth grade.
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So it had been a four year cycle and then students that I had started working with, at my current job.
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I've only been there for three years, but some of the students were already sophomores or juniors.
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By the time I started, they just graduated this year.
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So I was able to see graduation for.
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students that I had in fifth grade, graduate eighth grade, and then students that I had in the middle of their high school career, graduate high school, that to me was so fulfilling.
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So rewarding.
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I had never gone through that process with students before, and it really helped for me to see, why I do what I do, because even though I, I always enjoyed my job, but it's.
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Sometimes it's really difficult as a teacher to see, what this all adds up to because in the moment you're just, you're just in the moment, you have a hard day and it's really hard to understand, where this eventually leads for the student, for the student's family, for yourself.
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and so it was just so.
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Fulfilling and gratifying to finally see the students reach these milestones and really to put everything in perspective of Oh, this is, this is why that struggle that we overcame together was so important.
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And this is why that matters.
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Like now this is a huge.
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Point in their lives.
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And I guess until their family was there at graduation, I never really realized how much the student success means to the family, especially for students, when I'm teaching ESL students that have come from other countries, their parents brought them here for, an education, a degree to be able to work and earn jobs and send money back to their family.
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And, really achieve that American dream.
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And I felt like I was a part of that.
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It was hard to see in those day to day moments in the classroom.
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I feel so enlightened and inspired.
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I really understand like what this all means.
00:18:10.102 --> 00:18:14.132
Yeah, that's, that's honestly entirely it for my job too.
00:18:14.182 --> 00:18:18.071
And I mean, I should clarify, I'm not the person, teaching the students.
00:18:18.082 --> 00:18:22.382
I'm just there for, logistical support while the teaching and learning is happening.
00:18:22.672 --> 00:18:26.902
but I, I make a point to get to know the students, that we're spending time with that week.
00:18:27.201 --> 00:18:28.037
And then...
00:18:28.416 --> 00:18:31.807
We also have, like I mentioned, our alumni conference at the end of the summer.
00:18:31.826 --> 00:18:46.406
And so that's particularly special because then students from the past cohorts that I've been on site for are at the alumni conference and I get to see where they are at their career in their careers now, there were several of the students that I had last year.
00:18:46.626 --> 00:18:56.166
at Princeton, who were at the alumni conference this year, and they're applying to college, or they've gotten accepted to college, or some of my students from last summer have taken research experiences.
00:18:56.247 --> 00:19:15.402
I had a number of my students actually be accepted into the Yale, research experiences for veteran undergraduates program, so I got to see them when I was at Yale, and it's just, it's so rewarding and fulfilling, and, It it reminds me that, there is good in the world and that I'm a small piece of, producing that good in the world.
00:19:16.565 --> 00:19:17.625
Oh, absolutely.
00:19:17.654 --> 00:19:18.174
Absolutely.
00:19:18.174 --> 00:19:24.204
And I can tell how dedicated you are to your college projects and your students as you're sitting here now.
00:19:24.204 --> 00:19:26.625
No one can see, but I can see you're wearing an MIT shirt.
00:19:26.811 --> 00:19:27.521
Oh, yes.
00:19:28.021 --> 00:19:28.402
Yeah.
00:19:28.616 --> 00:19:31.244
I don't know the full effect of Your job.
00:19:31.255 --> 00:19:38.065
But when I was there briefly visiting you that one time, the people that you work with and your students seem like such incredible people.
00:19:38.085 --> 00:19:40.924
They were really awesome, very friendly and warm.
00:19:40.924 --> 00:19:46.355
And, it felt like I was getting a little sneak peek and something that was very special or pivotal in their lives.
00:19:47.287 --> 00:19:51.904
That's really the beauty of any sort of a program that helps people achieve a goal.
00:19:51.977 --> 00:19:56.954
You're helping these students reach milestones along the way and helping them become who they're ultimately going to be.
00:19:57.394 --> 00:20:01.234
And really it is very, very hard in the daily grind as a teacher.
00:20:01.234 --> 00:20:03.075
You just don't see that big picture.
00:20:03.105 --> 00:20:09.815
But I think that now that I've experienced it on a couple of different levels, that's really going to inspire me throughout the school year.
00:20:09.836 --> 00:20:11.714
It's not to say I'm not going to have hard days.
00:20:11.759 --> 00:20:17.150
Cause I am, and I have that expectation now, it's not going to surprise me when things are tough.
00:20:17.809 --> 00:20:26.119
but I think just knowing this is going to matter one day, like one day, I remember one girl that just graduated this year, I was really pushing her every day to do her work.
00:20:26.119 --> 00:20:27.519
She'd always be like, why are we doing this?
00:20:27.539 --> 00:20:28.480
Why do we have to do this?
00:20:28.501 --> 00:20:33.549
But then at graduation, we almost cried when we locked eyes and she just didn't really have to say anything.
00:20:33.549 --> 00:20:36.740
She just gave me a hug and wanted a picture with me and her family was there.
00:20:36.740 --> 00:20:37.740
And I was like, Oh my goodness.
00:20:37.761 --> 00:20:40.299
All those times that she drove me absolutely crazy
00:20:40.567 --> 00:20:40.916
Mm hmm.
00:20:41.660 --> 00:20:45.579
and she argued with me every step of the way, but here she is graduated.
00:20:45.579 --> 00:20:47.369
And she's a better student for it.
00:20:47.970 --> 00:20:49.599
I have more motivation now.
00:20:49.660 --> 00:20:50.329
I know.
00:20:50.599 --> 00:20:59.480
What it's going to feel like when we get to that, that end point and sometimes perspective really helps the day to day, knowing where it's all going
00:21:00.076 --> 00:21:00.386
Yeah.
00:21:00.386 --> 00:21:17.616
and you and I have talked about how it's very important for us to have jobs where we feel like we're making a difference, whereas, maybe some people, that's not a, major motivator or a big priority for them in a job, maybe they just really need, to focus on their paycheck or they're working a lot.
00:21:18.287 --> 00:21:31.906
To live not living to work or whatever, but I know you and I are both very career focused and for us Having a meaningful career is a big part of that we wouldn't be working so hard if we didn't feel that we were, making a difference
00:21:32.615 --> 00:21:34.035
Yeah, absolutely.
00:21:34.085 --> 00:21:38.894
Listeners don't really know my journey, but I started out in the journalism field and I'm still a writer.
00:21:38.894 --> 00:21:39.744
I still love to write.
00:21:39.744 --> 00:21:45.154
I know I do mention that I'm a writer in the intro of our show, but I never really talked about my journey.
00:21:45.154 --> 00:21:54.904
But one of the reasons that I decided to go back to school and switch careers, more than a decade ago at this point is because I didn't really feel that in journalism I was having that much of an impact.
00:21:54.914 --> 00:21:57.724
Now there are still rewarding moments in journalism.
00:21:57.724 --> 00:21:58.904
I still feel them today.
00:21:58.904 --> 00:22:06.595
Like when you write a really impactful story about a person or a family, you know,, that means something to that person or that family, that their story is being shared.
00:22:06.936 --> 00:22:14.944
And I've had some Moments where I feel goosebumps for writing something really important for somebody or, you're capturing a legacy or something like that.
00:22:14.954 --> 00:22:18.234
So I do feel like there is obviously gratification in journalism.
00:22:18.234 --> 00:22:23.394
There's power in writing, but I didn't feel like I was having the daily impact I wanted.
00:22:23.737 --> 00:22:30.734
You spend a lot of time behind a computer or sort of in your own head when you're a writer because it's not as much of an outward process.
00:22:30.815 --> 00:22:32.394
It's a lot more internal.
00:22:32.434 --> 00:22:37.025
And even though I enjoy that sporadically, I needed something that was more.
00:22:37.319 --> 00:22:42.170
Interactive day to day something that was more more service related.
00:22:42.201 --> 00:22:43.549
Teaching really is a service.
00:22:43.740 --> 00:22:44.579
It's a calling.
00:22:45.442 --> 00:22:50.920
And so that was 1 of the reasons I switch is I just did not feel fulfilled or like I was having the impact that I wanted.
00:22:51.785 --> 00:22:57.595
And with teaching, even though it's really hard, I do feel like I'm really helping and making a difference.
00:22:57.615 --> 00:23:01.095
And especially now that I've seen that firsthand, what that really looks like.
00:23:01.335 --> 00:23:04.005
What's the long term impact for these students and their families?
00:23:04.057 --> 00:23:05.095
I feel so much more.
00:23:05.230 --> 00:23:05.769
Fulfilled.
00:23:05.769 --> 00:23:07.900
And that's why I made this change years ago.
00:23:07.900 --> 00:23:12.609
So that was also good for me to feel like, wow, I'm so glad I switched careers.
00:23:12.609 --> 00:23:16.480
I went back to school, got two other degrees that was all worth it for me.
00:23:16.501 --> 00:23:45.392
I look at my own journey, and, I know you and I have talked about how, my career has been much more linear than yours, mine, shows a progression in the same field, whereas you, took a minute to, to find teaching, and to realize that that's where you were, needing to be, but I mean, in higher ed, what you said about, writing being like, working on your own and not really having the, interaction with the impact you're making, I, I mean, I felt that a bit in higher ed, too.
00:23:45.392 --> 00:24:05.811
I just don't think I realized that that was a piece of it that was missing for me until I started with, the organization I work for now, because I do have more of the direct interaction with the impact we're making, I think it is, it's a big difference, maybe at the university level if I had, started teaching adjunct in, a different department or something, I would have noticed that.
00:24:05.832 --> 00:24:10.511
But, it's, important to be interacting with the impact you're making,
00:24:10.539 --> 00:24:11.839
Yeah, definitely.
00:24:11.872 --> 00:24:14.500
I also took a break from teaching at one point in time.
00:24:15.480 --> 00:24:16.890
Wasn't really working out.
00:24:16.890 --> 00:24:17.920
Long story there.
00:24:17.961 --> 00:24:28.105
Now I, looking back, I see one bad experience does not necessarily mean you need to Not continue with something, but at that time it was bad enough that it seemed like, wow, this is a sign from the universe.
00:24:28.105 --> 00:24:31.275
I'm going to switch into the corporate space or try different things.
00:24:31.285 --> 00:24:39.894
So I actually did work in the corporate space and a little bit in higher ed and both those scenarios, I was doing sales related jobs and for a while it was kind of exciting.
00:24:39.894 --> 00:24:47.365
It was fun, especially when I first moved to Philadelphia and I was working in a high rise and we had work trips and it was just very fancy.
00:24:48.099 --> 00:24:50.569
And it was so exciting and teaching is not glamorous at all.
00:24:50.609 --> 00:24:51.930
have chalk on your pants.
00:24:51.930 --> 00:24:53.430
You constantly have paper cuts.
00:24:53.519 --> 00:24:55.509
My school in Philly, there's no air conditioning.
00:24:55.509 --> 00:24:56.390
So you're sweating.
00:24:56.892 --> 00:24:59.690
but in the corporate world, it's, it is very glamorous, but I.
00:25:00.194 --> 00:25:03.394
For a time I was fulfilled by that just cause it was so different and exciting.
00:25:03.394 --> 00:25:08.704
But then over, longer than a year period of time, I was so miserable.
00:25:08.755 --> 00:25:13.535
Remember when I was working at temple and I felt such guilt because I had an amazing position.
00:25:13.557 --> 00:25:17.664
Really, anybody would want this position that I had working in the business school.
00:25:17.664 --> 00:25:21.394
I went to China on a work trip, which very grateful for that experience.
00:25:21.454 --> 00:25:24.095
But I was so unfulfilled by doing sales.
00:25:24.116 --> 00:25:25.724
Again, this was the perfect scenario.
00:25:25.724 --> 00:25:27.444
I had a really nice office.
00:25:27.517 --> 00:25:29.134
I could leave at five.
00:25:29.255 --> 00:25:33.444
I didn't have homework to do, but I was absolutely miserable.
00:25:33.654 --> 00:25:45.664
And ultimately that's what led me back to teaching as I was being called to do something that was more hands on, more service related, more one on one helping people, which sales was not it for me.
00:25:45.704 --> 00:25:46.934
I felt the opposite.
00:25:46.994 --> 00:25:50.625
I was not interested in trying to, twist somebody's arm into coming to my school.
00:25:50.696 --> 00:25:51.007
Yeah.
00:25:51.856 --> 00:25:57.977
I'm a big proponent of higher ed, and I've spent my whole career, working in higher ed in some way, shape, or form.
00:25:57.977 --> 00:26:02.717
now, in my current role, we work with 21, partners in higher ed.
00:26:02.717 --> 00:26:07.567
So, I'm not just at a single university or college anymore.
00:26:07.676 --> 00:26:18.416
But, I I feel like I've always had the higher ed piece because higher ed is so important for me because I think education can really change your life and the trajectory of your, your path, for the better.
00:26:18.467 --> 00:26:21.247
And so I, I feel like I've always had that piece of it.
00:26:21.247 --> 00:26:26.116
I haven't ever worked in a corporate job where there was a profit line or anything like that.
00:26:26.537 --> 00:26:32.096
so I don't have the experience that you do, working in the corporate world, when you were in finance or whatever.
00:26:32.436 --> 00:26:38.457
But, for me it's much different in the non profit space because it just feels completely different to me.
00:26:38.507 --> 00:26:44.636
I feel like somehow I'm on, more on the front, funny, front lines of the impact.
00:26:45.115 --> 00:26:45.615
Yeah.
00:26:45.862 --> 00:26:51.240
You're right, but I, I think nothing sucked my soul more than being in a job that didn't align with my values.
00:26:51.259 --> 00:26:57.920
I didn't really feel that way in journalism because I do still feel like a lot of things about writing and journalism do align with me.
00:26:58.150 --> 00:27:01.000
It was just that I needed, the next level of alignment.
00:27:01.321 --> 00:27:05.920
But with working in sales, it just, it literally sucked my soul.
00:27:05.951 --> 00:27:07.950
I've never felt more unhappy in my life.
00:27:07.980 --> 00:27:10.390
Even when I was in the teaching job, that was bad.
00:27:11.420 --> 00:27:13.380
That was, uh, Maybe soul sucking in a different way.
00:27:13.470 --> 00:27:27.299
but, anyway, this just goes along with feeling like you're in the job for the right reasons, for the right value system and the alignment, and I just felt like I reached, the pinnacle of feeling that way this past year, especially toward, all the graduations at the end of the year.
00:27:28.362 --> 00:27:34.460
Whitney, I had a really sweet and amazing interaction with one of my parents, one of my students parents.
00:27:34.571 --> 00:27:41.650
the day after graduation, I, I was cleaning out my classroom I got called down to the office and you always get nervous when you get called to the office.
00:27:41.650 --> 00:27:46.569
Like why, have I in trouble, but no, when I got to the office, one of my.
00:27:47.005 --> 00:27:55.394
Students parents was standing there with a dozen roses and she doesn't speak much English at all other than to say hello and thank you.
00:27:55.454 --> 00:27:57.375
So we're standing there kind of looking at each other.
00:27:57.414 --> 00:28:01.214
So full of emotion and she Couldn't really tell me what she wanted to say.
00:28:02.234 --> 00:28:04.115
All she could say was, we love you.
00:28:05.095 --> 00:28:06.894
And she gave me these roses.
00:28:06.936 --> 00:28:07.924
I burst into tears.
00:28:07.924 --> 00:28:09.714
She literally had tears running down her cheeks.
00:28:09.737 --> 00:28:11.345
It was such an emotional moment.
00:28:11.366 --> 00:28:15.075
I've never felt such gratitude from somebody and.
00:28:15.349 --> 00:28:18.329
Again, just one of those moments where you're like, this is why I do this.
00:28:19.160 --> 00:28:22.390
And it was one of the sweetest things that anyone's ever done for me.
00:28:22.461 --> 00:28:30.460
I feel like this particular family, I didn't even realize how much I had impacted their lives, they came from another country for their kids to get education.
00:28:30.460 --> 00:28:32.259
And they really made it through because of me.
00:28:32.259 --> 00:28:34.700
So it was such a meaningful moment.
00:28:34.721 --> 00:28:43.920
I have not really come down from that high since, so I'm Riding that wave of gratitude and perspective and I'm taking that into this next school year.
00:28:43.920 --> 00:28:47.240
And I just feel so much more enlightened and inspired.
00:28:47.981 --> 00:28:48.402
Yes.
00:28:48.432 --> 00:29:03.051
I remember that, you made a post on your social media about that, and, it's just like the culmination of why you do what you do, and it was so sweet, and I'm so happy that you got that moment, and, that will fuel you for years to come.
00:29:03.089 --> 00:29:03.920
Absolutely.
00:29:03.950 --> 00:29:05.259
It really, really does.
00:29:05.259 --> 00:29:10.430
I just feel like that's what I needed just to be like, okay, yeah, this is it.
00:29:10.440 --> 00:29:11.859
This is why I do this.
00:29:12.612 --> 00:29:13.369
And it was really.
00:29:13.815 --> 00:29:19.625
Really fulfilling to feel that because not everybody has moments like that, or even a moment like that.
00:29:19.634 --> 00:29:23.884
I was talking recently with a friend of ours who lives in San Francisco and I was telling him about this.
00:29:24.704 --> 00:29:27.934
And he said to me, not everybody feels that way about their job.
00:29:27.944 --> 00:29:35.134
And he, he sort of admitted that he doesn't feel that way about his job in terms of feeling like enlightened and rich, like this is, this is my purpose.
00:29:35.474 --> 00:29:42.724
He said that he's just come to accept that he likes his job, but he's never going to feel like this moment of enlightenment inspiration.
00:29:42.724 --> 00:29:46.875
And he was like, that's really cool that you feel that because, some people will never feel that.
00:29:47.144 --> 00:29:48.734
And he's like, I don't think I'm going to feel that.
00:29:48.734 --> 00:29:52.904
So that's amazing that you're able to feel that way about what you do.
00:29:53.634 --> 00:30:02.355
And it is that actually really, was a revelation to me too, because as you just said, you and I, it is really important for us to feel that in our jobs.
00:30:02.404 --> 00:30:13.045
When I didn't feel that I was rotting from the inside, even though I was in this amazing, cushy position, I felt so guilty for not feeling fulfilled, but you just have to do what feels right to you.
00:30:13.067 --> 00:30:16.085
You can't feel guilty for not feeling like you're in the right job.
00:30:16.612 --> 00:30:18.440
Again, it just depends on your priority.
00:30:18.470 --> 00:30:30.400
They might be in a position where they're not feeling fulfilled or whatever, but for them, maybe it's just about the paycheck or my friend was saying, he tries to feel more fulfilled in the hobbies that he's doing after work.
00:30:30.400 --> 00:30:32.990
So maybe, yes, he is working cause he's good at it.
00:30:32.990 --> 00:30:35.170
And he, he's making enough money to live where he does.
00:30:35.605 --> 00:30:39.595
But he tries to do things that really make him feel happy outside of work and in his free time.
00:30:39.595 --> 00:30:42.654
And, I just feel really lucky that I can have both those things.
00:30:43.065 --> 00:30:49.164
I can enjoy my job and feel fulfilled, but also enjoy my hobbies and things I'm doing outside of work.
00:30:49.164 --> 00:30:51.444
So I feel really happy about that.
00:30:52.221 --> 00:30:52.521
Yeah.
00:30:52.521 --> 00:30:53.231
And, you're right.
00:30:53.231 --> 00:31:05.801
for some people, maybe the excitement of working in the corporate world or the excitement of the challenges they have in a corporate job is, is going to be the thing that makes them excited and happy and fulfilled, right?
00:31:05.951 --> 00:31:20.211
we're not trying to say that, everybody needs to feel the way we do about, a mission, oriented position or career, it just all comes down to what's important to you or what will give you the life that will make you the most happy.
00:31:20.701 --> 00:31:29.531
I always tell, the students that come through our programs, whenever they're thinking about, choosing a college, for example, a lot of our students end up choosing Ivy League schools.
00:31:29.551 --> 00:31:39.652
A lot of our partners are Ivy League schools, but it, puts this precedent out there that, if you're not, getting into an Ivy League school or attending an Ivy League school that you haven't succeeded.
00:31:39.652 --> 00:31:42.761
you're letting people down because that's not the path you're choosing.
00:31:43.342 --> 00:31:52.811
But I always try to stress that the school that is right for you is the school that offers you two things, the ability to be happy and the ability to be successful.
00:31:53.436 --> 00:32:19.787
So if that's at your local community college because you need to be close to your family Or you have children and you don't want to move your children so you need to stay where you are or whatever happy, and then will that school provide you a degree That will allow you to have a career that you find successful If so, it doesn't matter if that is at princeton or yale or at northern virginia community college
00:32:19.946 --> 00:32:20.406
Oh yeah.
00:32:20.406 --> 00:32:22.057
That's definitely a good rule of thumb.
00:32:22.089 --> 00:32:26.757
you and I both went to Penn state and that's an incredible experience and amazing network.
00:32:26.757 --> 00:32:27.846
But I got my.
00:32:28.275 --> 00:32:34.132
Second bachelor's I had to for when I went back to teaching, I had to get my English degree and then also I got my masters in education.
00:32:34.392 --> 00:32:40.211
I went to Bloomsburg University, just a small state school, and I loved my experience there.
00:32:40.211 --> 00:32:43.092
I think there's definitely something to be said for a small school.
00:32:43.115 --> 00:32:50.501
You and I know from going to the branch campus of Penn State Altoona before we went to main campus, I would, I mean, that I feel like changed my whole life.
00:32:50.501 --> 00:32:52.701
I'm still friends with all the people that I met there.
00:32:52.701 --> 00:32:53.951
They're, lifelong friends.
00:32:54.797 --> 00:32:58.426
But yeah, the small schools have always worked out the best for me.
00:32:58.490 --> 00:33:00.586
You get more of an intimate experience.
00:33:00.586 --> 00:33:02.067
You get to know your professors.
00:33:02.140 --> 00:33:03.416
I wouldn't trade that for anything.
00:33:03.436 --> 00:33:03.987
So you're right.
00:33:04.059 --> 00:33:04.359
Yeah.
00:33:04.392 --> 00:33:09.852
Yeah, everybody, everybody's, perfect scenario looks different, you can't compare yourself to someone else.
00:33:10.859 --> 00:33:11.130
Right.
00:33:12.221 --> 00:33:13.912
And, that's something else I wanted to add.
00:33:13.912 --> 00:33:21.761
Speaking of comparison is when I was talking with my friend about how, all these people are in jobs, but very few of them feel this level of.
00:33:22.214 --> 00:33:28.622
Inspiration or enrichment, it made me think about like back when I was struggling to find my career.
00:33:28.622 --> 00:33:30.001
Cause I've been, I've been all over.
00:33:30.001 --> 00:33:35.832
I was in, oh my gosh, since I moved to Philly, I had so many careers and side hustles, that's kind of mind boggling.
00:33:36.281 --> 00:33:49.622
but I always compared myself to other people like, Oh, so and so is in this job and I thought they were happy or, Oh man, this person's had a really linear career path and I always compared myself to other people who are in these jobs.
00:33:49.622 --> 00:33:53.412
And now I'm realizing like, yeah, they were in these jobs, but were they happy?
00:33:53.916 --> 00:33:55.356
Most of the time, no.
00:33:55.640 --> 00:34:08.150
Well, I feel like, in general, the things that you think you know about another person based on what their, LinkedIn profile says or what their social media photos are saying, It's a carefully curated selection.
00:34:08.559 --> 00:34:15.460
Of their experience, And sometimes it's it's hard to remember that whenever you're comparing your experience to theirs.
00:34:16.956 --> 00:34:18.226
yeah, definitely.
00:34:18.567 --> 00:34:26.226
And I will say also that, one of the other reasons I'm thriving this summer is I just turned 40 on Sunday, August 6th.
00:34:26.961 --> 00:34:30.391
Or it's been less than a week at this point, but yeah, thank you.
00:34:30.525 --> 00:34:39.791
I feel also not just because of my work experiences, but just in general, my life experiences, I feel the best I've ever felt in my whole life.
00:34:39.862 --> 00:34:44.802
Maybe just riding off the journey I've had with my school year, that started on such a high and I've just.
00:34:45.117 --> 00:34:47.257
Feel that way about the rest of my life too.
00:34:47.266 --> 00:34:50.577
Like everything's just come full circle and I get it now.
00:34:50.920 --> 00:34:51.230
Yeah.
00:34:51.827 --> 00:35:00.137
I think back to when I was 30 and honestly, not that there was anything wrong with my life, but it was, I was still trying to figure out where I was going to live, where I was going to work.
00:35:00.137 --> 00:35:02.556
Like, why can't I stick to something?
00:35:02.556 --> 00:35:06.226
Like other people are able to stick to things, I was not happy.
00:35:06.402 --> 00:35:14.931
I was not happy and I wasn't depressed or anything, but now that I know what it feels like to have your shit figured out for pardon my language.
00:35:15.204 --> 00:35:16.902
I did not have things figured out then.
00:35:16.902 --> 00:35:18.081
And it was a struggle.
00:35:18.242 --> 00:35:20.802
It was a struggle for a lot of years in my thirties.
00:35:20.802 --> 00:35:24.402
And I think a lot of that came down to comparing myself to other people.
00:35:24.972 --> 00:35:28.981
Not even really on purpose, but with social media, everything's in your face all the time.
00:35:29.005 --> 00:35:31.782
Even if you're not looking for a comparison, it's just there.
00:35:32.652 --> 00:35:38.052
And I was constantly like, how come my other friends were able to stick to one job since graduation?
00:35:38.052 --> 00:35:40.262
Or how come this person was able to get married?
00:35:40.262 --> 00:35:43.822
Well, at this point, I'm realizing that a lot of those friends hate their jobs.
00:35:44.072 --> 00:35:46.211
They don't feel any fulfillment for those jobs.
00:35:46.612 --> 00:35:48.922
Um, a lot of those marriages aren't still.
00:35:49.541 --> 00:35:52.092
Together, or they're, marriages have fallen apart.
00:35:52.101 --> 00:35:58.592
So I think when you hit 40, you start to realize things that you thought were like the pinnacle or what you should have.
00:35:58.911 --> 00:36:00.952
It was all just a facade, you know?
00:36:00.972 --> 00:36:01.291
I mean,
00:36:01.974 --> 00:36:02.284
Yeah.
00:36:02.402 --> 00:36:03.382
that's not always true.
00:36:03.382 --> 00:36:09.711
I definitely still have friends who are successful and happy and things like that, but you just realize everybody's on a different path.
00:36:09.764 --> 00:36:11.871
What works for somebody else doesn't work for you.
00:36:11.905 --> 00:36:12.771
There's no.
00:36:13.092 --> 00:36:15.532
Place you're supposed to be at a certain time.
00:36:15.925 --> 00:36:28.291
but I didn't really know that when I was 30, I felt like I was behind, like I didn't have the job yet, or I wasn't settled down somewhere, or I wasn't, I guess I was dating, but I wasn't happily dating.
00:36:28.922 --> 00:36:32.802
I just understand things so much more now and I have not ever felt better.
00:36:33.465 --> 00:36:35.775
So what do you think, clicked for you?
00:36:36.525 --> 00:36:38.195
stopping the comparisons?
00:36:38.224 --> 00:36:40.215
Or, do you think there was something else?
00:36:41.414 --> 00:36:44.981
I think it was really just figuring out things myself.
00:36:45.005 --> 00:36:53.681
Once I started feeling really happy where I was and what I was doing, then when you're really happy with yourself, you really don't care about other people.
00:36:53.681 --> 00:37:00.402
But I think when I was 30, since I was still trying to figure everything out and trying out different things, I wasn't happy.
00:37:00.547 --> 00:37:00.936
Yet.
00:37:01.367 --> 00:37:12.896
And so it's so easy when you're not happy and you're in a very vulnerable place emotionally or just personally, it is very easy to feel like someone else has more than you.
00:37:12.907 --> 00:37:16.887
Cause I didn't feel confident in where I was, and it just takes time.
00:37:16.920 --> 00:37:19.141
I don't think that I did anything wrong.
00:37:19.275 --> 00:37:24.652
Yeah, you know, there's like little decisions here or there that I could have done differently, but I don't think I made mistakes.
00:37:24.782 --> 00:37:28.211
I think that it just takes longer sometimes to figure things out.
00:37:28.211 --> 00:37:30.072
And that's just the way it's supposed to be.
00:37:30.554 --> 00:37:38.211
Who would have thought 10 years ago that I would end up in Philly teaching at a public school teaching English as a second language.
00:37:38.211 --> 00:37:40.021
That's not even what I went to school for.
00:37:40.074 --> 00:37:45.572
I honestly ended up in that job on a staffing error, things just happen sometimes.
00:37:46.275 --> 00:37:49.072
And so, and I, and it wasn't always easy.
00:37:49.072 --> 00:37:51.402
Like, I think I struggled the first couple of years.
00:37:51.411 --> 00:37:57.342
My first year back in the classroom after the pandemic was really hard, you know, and this past year was hard.
00:37:57.811 --> 00:38:15.181
But it's just that once I went through all those hardships and understood, what was at the other side of that, now that I've experienced that, I won't mind as much going through the ups and downs because I get where that all leads, you know, but it's very difficult when you don't know where that leads or if it's going to be what you thought it was going to be, or.
00:38:16.675 --> 00:38:16.985
Yeah.
00:38:18.195 --> 00:38:30.405
So, how do you think you realize, this is gonna sound weird, but how do you think you realize that you were finally in a groove where you're happy, And you're just confident in moving forward.
00:38:31.612 --> 00:38:35.632
Oh man, well, it's been a process for sure and it's not over.
00:38:35.632 --> 00:38:39.322
It's not like, Oh, I've reached the pinnacle and now I'm just coasting for the rest of my life.
00:38:39.344 --> 00:38:42.722
I understand there's definitely going to be peaks and valleys as they say.
00:38:43.242 --> 00:38:43.742
I get that.
00:38:43.815 --> 00:38:49.911
Now I have more of the wisdom and understanding to be able to navigate those in a more healthy, clear minded way.
00:38:50.492 --> 00:38:53.001
I had to learn myself and what works for myself.
00:38:53.001 --> 00:39:01.802
Like I said, last year was really hard coming back after the pandemic, after being virtual, being back in the classroom, the students had to learn how to be students again.
00:39:01.811 --> 00:39:04.152
We had to learn how to be in person teachers again.
00:39:04.532 --> 00:39:10.072
I was really struggling with managing my time because during the pandemic time was different.
00:39:10.081 --> 00:39:10.851
I had more time.
00:39:10.851 --> 00:39:11.652
We were all virtual.
00:39:11.652 --> 00:39:12.822
I had picked up a lot of.
00:39:13.161 --> 00:39:18.842
Additional jobs like tutoring and different things I could do when I was at home when I had more time and space.
00:39:19.262 --> 00:39:28.402
Um, and then I tried to continue all those things when I went back in the classroom and realized I couldn't juggle it all, but, and we've talked about this on the show before, but I couldn't just quit things.
00:39:28.402 --> 00:39:32.581
I had to slowly drop those things over time when they came to a natural ending point.
00:39:32.581 --> 00:39:49.722
So for me, going through the process of seeing what I can handle, what I can't finally, it's taken me this past year, finally, I didn't have all the side hustles and I had space to breathe and I could use any downtime that I had for myself.
00:39:49.744 --> 00:39:54.211
I'd started going to the gym after school, I started focusing more on eating healthy.
00:39:54.211 --> 00:39:58.431
And I finally had space to do that because I wasn't filling my time with all these side hustles.
00:39:59.132 --> 00:40:01.702
And I learned about setting boundaries on school.
00:40:01.775 --> 00:40:08.391
I realized I was putting so much pressure on myself to deliver these incredible presentations and things when really.
00:40:08.661 --> 00:40:09.911
You don't need to do that.
00:40:10.081 --> 00:40:12.512
You don't need to go above and beyond every day.
00:40:12.945 --> 00:40:15.132
sometimes it's just showing up is enough, honestly.
00:40:15.804 --> 00:40:17.211
Just being there for the kids.
00:40:17.222 --> 00:40:22.052
It's, I'm not saying I just show up with no plan, but I don't have to be super teacher every day.
00:40:22.641 --> 00:40:26.391
Sometimes it's just like being that stable, consistent presence for the kids.
00:40:26.391 --> 00:40:29.101
And it doesn't always have to be this.
00:40:29.527 --> 00:40:30.967
A plus lesson plan.
00:40:31.047 --> 00:40:33.456
It just has to be a plan and I have to be there.
00:40:34.019 --> 00:40:39.387
so I maybe lowering the expectations a bit while still having a high standard, but, not killing myself to do it,
00:40:39.835 --> 00:40:40.224
not
00:40:40.427 --> 00:40:41.617
boundaries on my time.
00:40:41.855 --> 00:40:43.284
for perfection, maybe.
00:40:44.266 --> 00:40:45.086
Yeah, exactly.
00:40:45.086 --> 00:40:50.686
And that's hard when you're a high achiever or perfectionist, that's hard, but realizing where is a stopping point?
00:40:50.980 --> 00:40:56.376
If it was seven o'clock in the evening and I knew I had to start winding down by seven 38, I realized you know what?
00:40:56.376 --> 00:41:02.146
I'm not going to make this extra activity because it's going to take me another hour and I need to start getting ready for bed.
00:41:02.166 --> 00:41:07.447
So just Cutting it off and maybe doing the have to haves not always the nice to haves
00:41:07.594 --> 00:41:07.974
hmm,
00:41:08.637 --> 00:41:09.777
nice to haves would be good.
00:41:09.777 --> 00:41:15.847
Like once a week, on a Friday, sometimes the nice to haves like a game or an activity I planned are good, but you don't need that every day.
00:41:16.476 --> 00:41:21.297
I realized I have to take better care of myself because I'm, I'm leading the show there.
00:41:21.297 --> 00:41:21.547
Right.
00:41:21.547 --> 00:41:28.947
So if I come in haggard and worn down and I didn't get enough sleep last night, or I didn't get to eat or exercise, I'm not going to be a good teacher.
00:41:29.355 --> 00:41:29.675
yeah,
00:41:30.067 --> 00:41:43.237
Focusing on myself is really what I think turned things around because I felt so much happier and starting to learn that I can use personal days, which I never did before.
00:41:43.237 --> 00:41:46.677
I'm a crazy person that I never used personal days until this past year.
00:41:46.677 --> 00:41:47.677
Like what was I doing?
00:41:48.250 --> 00:41:49.320
yeah, yeah,
00:41:50.746 --> 00:41:57.146
Yeah, but it was a process to get to the point where I realized how to manage things in a way where I can be healthy and still do a good job.
00:41:58.726 --> 00:42:01.077
And it's just a little bit of letting go.
00:42:01.139 --> 00:42:03.706
You don't always have to go like full speed ahead.
00:42:04.389 --> 00:42:04.719
yeah.
00:42:05.449 --> 00:42:08.340
I mean, that's, I feel like that's the hardest lesson to learn.
00:42:09.010 --> 00:42:11.019
Is dropping the perfectionism.
00:42:12.000 --> 00:42:14.170
Because, I still struggle with that myself.
00:42:14.170 --> 00:42:18.599
I want to do all of the things and I want to do them all at the highest level.
00:42:18.960 --> 00:42:20.739
But, something's gotta give, right?
00:42:20.789 --> 00:42:23.550
Cause, unless I'm just like never sleeping again.
00:42:24.139 --> 00:42:24.469
You know?
00:42:24.567 --> 00:42:25.646
Yeah, exactly.
00:42:25.679 --> 00:42:31.217
So I guess how I reached all this was just, first of all, this is the longest I've been in a job in general.
00:42:31.731 --> 00:42:32.181
Okay.
00:42:32.181 --> 00:42:35.742
Just to put things in perspective for how much I've gone back and forth over time.
00:42:35.775 --> 00:42:38.851
And I finally been in a job for four going into my fifth year.
00:42:39.465 --> 00:42:44.692
That in itself was helpful in having a consistent job, which is really what I was always striving to have.
00:42:44.702 --> 00:42:53.601
Like, It stressed me out whenever I would change positions because I knew I wouldn't be able to get that longevity in a position to really figure things out.
00:42:53.621 --> 00:42:58.637
It's very hard when you're constantly jumping around because you never get to the point where you figure it out.
00:42:59.186 --> 00:43:01.677
I mean, and you never truly figure it out, but you know what I mean?
00:43:01.699 --> 00:43:06.336
You start to understand or get into the rhythm of a job, which you can't do if you're only there short term.
00:43:07.277 --> 00:43:13.987
So I think one of the things was just having consistency going through something enough times that.
00:43:14.856 --> 00:43:18.157
I have more wisdom and that's how I feel in life too.
00:43:18.190 --> 00:43:20.157
So 40 is not scary.
00:43:20.166 --> 00:43:23.737
It's to me personally, way better than turning 30.
00:43:24.097 --> 00:43:26.626
I just feel so good.
00:43:26.847 --> 00:43:28.836
I wished I felt this way when I was 30.
00:43:30.179 --> 00:43:31.099
So incredible.
00:43:31.110 --> 00:43:38.010
Like, you know, makes me actually not worried about turning that myself whenever it's my turn.
00:43:38.077 --> 00:43:40.527
Really in the grand scheme of things, 40 is not that old.
00:43:41.418 --> 00:43:41.757
Really?
00:43:41.757 --> 00:43:42.318
It's not.
00:43:42.347 --> 00:43:50.597
And, it's an amazing thing to, to age in a way where you are entering every day with so much more knowledge.
00:43:50.619 --> 00:43:51.963
That's really refreshing.
00:43:52.554 --> 00:43:52.855
Yeah.
00:43:52.905 --> 00:43:56.135
So, Susan, we've been talking about, you turning 40.
00:43:56.474 --> 00:43:58.954
and it's a big, special birthday.
00:43:59.054 --> 00:44:00.795
So, what did you do to celebrate?
00:44:01.998 --> 00:44:02.248
Yeah.
00:44:02.248 --> 00:44:03.907
So I had the most amazing birthday.
00:44:03.907 --> 00:44:06.807
I went to New York with my sister and 2 of my best friends.
00:44:06.847 --> 00:44:10.068
Um, Whitney, of course, you're you're a best friend also, but you're not you're not local.
00:44:10.077 --> 00:44:10.427
So,
00:44:10.844 --> 00:44:11.295
I don't know.
00:44:11.385 --> 00:44:12.804
It's, it's a big problem.
00:44:13.065 --> 00:44:13.085
Yeah.
00:44:13.487 --> 00:44:14.807
Yeah, I know.
00:44:14.827 --> 00:44:15.387
I know.
00:44:15.427 --> 00:44:17.577
But we'll have to celebrate another time when we're together.
00:44:17.610 --> 00:44:21.097
I went to New York and I, you know, cause everyone talks about.
00:44:21.672 --> 00:44:24.882
Anytime it's a milestone birthday, you want to do big trip or something like that.
00:44:25.204 --> 00:44:28.112
and my friends and I had been talking about 40th for a long time.
00:44:28.112 --> 00:44:34.873
And every time we would get together, especially during the pandemic, when you couldn't go anywhere, we're always like, yeah, let's talk about what we're going to do for our 40th.
00:44:34.873 --> 00:44:37.802
And we would just dream up these biggest extravagant trips.
00:44:38.233 --> 00:44:42.293
But then when the time came, I'm like, yeah, listen, this trip doesn't line up with my bank account here.
00:44:42.293 --> 00:44:44.302
You know, I'm not actually going to go to Paris.
00:44:44.893 --> 00:44:50.963
I think you also just realize maybe, you know, this is another nugget of wisdom that I have is you don't need to do something extravagant.
00:44:50.972 --> 00:44:56.103
All you really need is the people that mean the most to you and just anything that's special to you.
00:44:56.132 --> 00:45:03.443
Like, I really love musical theater, whenever I go to a show or any kind of artistic experience, I absolutely love it.
00:45:03.474 --> 00:45:06.492
I've always wanted to do Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island.
00:45:07.432 --> 00:45:13.373
So in hindsight, maybe that wasn't the best thing to pick in the summer, which is peaks peak tourist season.
00:45:13.784 --> 00:45:20.742
Cause we ended up waiting in these insane lines the whole day, but I still really love that experience.
00:45:20.742 --> 00:45:23.443
It was very special to see the Statue of Liberty up close.
00:45:23.773 --> 00:45:24.612
She's beautiful.
00:45:24.849 --> 00:45:25.190
Mm
00:45:25.527 --> 00:45:27.898
Lady Liberty is everything I expected her to be.
00:45:28.300 --> 00:45:31.918
we took a ferry over to Liberty Island and I loved Liberty Island.
00:45:31.918 --> 00:45:32.927
It was so pretty.
00:45:33.400 --> 00:45:38.677
by that point after waiting in lines all day, we were very excited to get some Statue of Liberty lemonade.
00:45:39.800 --> 00:45:39.809
Mmh.
00:45:40.610 --> 00:45:40.980
Yeah.
00:45:41.132 --> 00:45:45.773
So, we enjoyed that, but every thing that we did, we had to wait in these long lines.
00:45:45.773 --> 00:45:48.822
We had to wait in security check to get to the Liberty Island.
00:45:48.822 --> 00:45:50.932
Then we had to wait in a line to get to Ellis Island.
00:45:50.943 --> 00:45:54.023
Then we had to wait in the line to get back, back to battery park.
00:45:54.023 --> 00:45:58.693
So I swear to you that I was probably waiting in lines for like five or six hours that day.
00:45:58.952 --> 00:46:01.773
It was like two hours for each line, which is crazy.
00:46:02.635 --> 00:46:05.893
I really feel like there was a problem with the return ferry.
00:46:06.704 --> 00:46:08.262
1 didn't come for 2 hours.
00:46:08.284 --> 00:46:10.842
Those ferries should be coming back and forth every 30 minutes.
00:46:10.875 --> 00:46:12.112
There was definitely something
00:46:12.750 --> 00:46:13.010
Yeah.
00:46:13.112 --> 00:46:14.532
not going as planned that day.
00:46:14.672 --> 00:46:16.233
maybe the ferry driver called out.
00:46:17.222 --> 00:46:22.452
I don't know, but that was a little much, all the lines and stuff, but.
00:46:22.777 --> 00:46:24.838
You know, I'll never forget that day.
00:46:24.838 --> 00:46:33.657
We, we joked that it was like the immersive immigrant experience because we were standing like sardines and these lines and the heat with people from all around the world.
00:46:33.708 --> 00:46:36.248
You know, um, we survived Ellis Island.
00:46:36.248 --> 00:46:37.007
We kept saying.
00:46:37.900 --> 00:46:38.469
Mm hmm.
00:46:38.514 --> 00:46:46.682
When we got back onto the mainland, on Saturday night, we kind of freewheeled it for dinner and found this nice Japanese restaurant and got some noodle dishes.
00:46:46.682 --> 00:46:49.413
And my sister got ramen Then we found a rooftop bar.
00:46:49.525 --> 00:46:51.572
It called the star child or something?
00:46:51.603 --> 00:46:55.222
I don't know, but we were on this rooftop for when it was.
00:46:55.503 --> 00:46:56.963
Turn midnight for my birthday.
00:46:56.963 --> 00:46:59.532
And it was just this beautiful glittering view of the city.
00:47:00.253 --> 00:47:03.532
And then the next day we, my sister and I went to church at St.
00:47:03.532 --> 00:47:05.632
Patrick's cathedral, which was really special.
00:47:05.632 --> 00:47:06.452
It was really pretty.
00:47:07.273 --> 00:47:14.032
And what better way to start out your 40th birthday than church, the cathedral, very sort of like heavenly experience.
00:47:14.172 --> 00:47:22.353
and then we had lunch at this awesome family style Italian restaurant called car mines rate and right near Broadway.
00:47:22.402 --> 00:47:23.972
Um, that was Amazing.
00:47:23.972 --> 00:47:25.592
The food was just to die for.
00:47:26.063 --> 00:47:28.643
And then we went and saw Back to the Future on Broadway.
00:47:28.643 --> 00:47:30.963
So that was just incredible, Whitney.
00:47:31.289 --> 00:47:39.445
Mm hmm Yeah, I, I keep thinking about Since you've Said that that was The show you chose like How is Back to the Future on Broadway?
00:47:39.644 --> 00:47:41.244
Does it translate to a musical?
00:47:41.862 --> 00:47:43.152
Yes, absolutely.
00:47:43.193 --> 00:47:47.532
So, right before I'd left for New York, I had gotten together with some friends in Philly.
00:47:48.525 --> 00:47:51.103
a little casual birthday celebrating before I left on my trip.
00:47:51.452 --> 00:47:56.842
And one of my friends is in the theater world and she had other theater friends who had been seeing different shows on Broadway.
00:47:56.842 --> 00:47:59.242
And she, I said to her like, Oh, how was it?
00:47:59.253 --> 00:48:03.353
Cause she said a few of her friends saw it and she was like, Oh, you know, they thought it was okay.
00:48:03.353 --> 00:48:04.762
They were like, it's just like the movie.
00:48:04.762 --> 00:48:07.137
And I'm like, Well, that's great because I love the movie.
00:48:07.137 --> 00:48:10.688
That's one of my favorite movies So I'm like, I don't care if it's like the movie, that's what I want.
00:48:10.760 --> 00:48:15.248
I want it to be like the movie, but she kind of seemed like a little like, Oh, they thought it was okay.
00:48:15.248 --> 00:48:17.708
And so I was like, all right, well, we'll see.
00:48:17.978 --> 00:48:19.907
But I thought it was unbelievable.
00:48:19.958 --> 00:48:22.938
It was, it was like the movie, but better
00:48:23.264 --> 00:48:23.635
Mm hmm.
00:48:23.818 --> 00:48:29.708
because it had songs and choreography and effects and Oh my gosh, the DeLorean, the DeLorean.
00:48:30.952 --> 00:48:38.362
Was amazing and actually flew, you know, how back to the future ends where doc is going ahead 30 years.
00:48:38.362 --> 00:48:41.422
And he says where we're going, we don't need roads.
00:48:41.483 --> 00:48:43.592
And then the DeLorean starts to fly.
00:48:44.342 --> 00:48:46.702
Oh my gosh, the effects were just incredible.
00:48:46.702 --> 00:48:49.103
The ensemble cast was so talented.
00:48:49.554 --> 00:48:51.413
We loved the lead actor.
00:48:51.422 --> 00:48:53.822
He was just so good.
00:48:54.112 --> 00:48:54.932
So likable.
00:48:55.264 --> 00:48:56.802
I just can't say enough good things about it.
00:48:56.802 --> 00:48:59.233
It was literally one of the best things I've ever seen.
00:48:59.934 --> 00:48:59.965
Mm hmm.
00:48:59.965 --> 00:49:00.565
Amazing.
00:49:00.815 --> 00:49:03.565
Well, I'm so glad that that was the show you picked for your birthday then.
00:49:04.277 --> 00:49:11.077
Oh, I knew as soon as I started looking for shows and I saw that it hadn't, it just actually came out officially three days before my birthday.
00:49:11.077 --> 00:49:12.007
So it was meant to be,
00:49:12.125 --> 00:49:13.324
It was totally meant to be.
00:49:13.688 --> 00:49:16.277
There was no question from the beginning that that's what I wanted to see.
00:49:16.277 --> 00:49:18.387
I just felt like this is what I'm doing for my birthday.
00:49:18.387 --> 00:49:19.777
This is exactly meant to be.
00:49:20.402 --> 00:49:22.802
Um, you just smile from start to finish.
00:49:22.802 --> 00:49:25.273
It's such a feel good, happy musical.
00:49:25.304 --> 00:49:28.472
I've been listening to the soundtrack nonstop since I left the show.
00:49:28.875 --> 00:49:30.112
I would love to see it again.
00:49:30.123 --> 00:49:30.552
Actually.
00:49:30.603 --> 00:49:32.313
man, it's, it was just so good.
00:49:32.355 --> 00:49:33.463
So much talent.
00:49:33.552 --> 00:49:34.672
So, so feel good.
00:49:34.672 --> 00:49:35.402
So happy.
00:49:35.483 --> 00:49:39.393
I had the best time and I could not have asked for a better birthday experience.
00:49:39.414 --> 00:49:41.353
Everything was absolutely perfect.
00:49:42.789 --> 00:49:43.409
Amazing.
00:49:43.449 --> 00:49:46.289
I'm so happy that that was your 40th birthday experience.
00:49:47.362 --> 00:49:48.233
Oh yeah, it was.
00:49:48.233 --> 00:49:52.623
And again, I, it just showed you you don't need to be in Europe or Cancun.
00:49:52.644 --> 00:49:57.393
I was two hours from my house, but was, still doing all these amazing things.
00:49:57.414 --> 00:50:03.242
I had the best people, the best food, the best show, you can do anything even in your own city.
00:50:03.293 --> 00:50:06.922
We always feel like we have to go a step beyond for our.
00:50:07.157 --> 00:50:10.748
Milestone birthdays, but you don't really have to do that.
00:50:10.780 --> 00:50:15.117
You don't have to always spend an arm and a leg for me, it was keep it simple.
00:50:15.117 --> 00:50:16.447
And that was just perfect for me.
00:50:17.014 --> 00:50:22.965
Yeah, no, totally works, keeping it simple is, one of the, life hacks of all time, right?
00:50:22.974 --> 00:50:25.672
I, I, like I said, I've been having the best summer.
00:50:25.672 --> 00:50:27.862
I'm just feeling so enlightened with everything.
00:50:27.862 --> 00:50:31.182
And I'm just hoping to continue riding that wave into my next year.
00:50:31.182 --> 00:50:37.032
And, you know,, things are not always going to be smooth sailing, but I feel like sort of a depth of.
00:50:38.152 --> 00:50:42.913
A depth of good experiences that's given me such a good platform to go forward from.
00:50:43.730 --> 00:50:45.070
amazing, I love it.
00:50:46.079 --> 00:50:51.860
Well, that's probably the best, line you could end talking about your birthday on, right?
00:50:52.952 --> 00:50:53.932
Yeah, it was great.
00:50:53.932 --> 00:50:57.603
I'm, I'm definitely still feeling, elevated from that experience.
00:50:57.625 --> 00:51:06.063
That's the best thing about birthdays is you set yourself up to have an amazing year and just try to continue riding that wave and stop thinking about how old you actually are.
00:51:06.085 --> 00:51:09.552
Maybe we need to stop thinking about I'm going to be such and such an age.
00:51:09.552 --> 00:51:11.273
Just think about what you are right now.
00:51:11.833 --> 00:51:14.182
And even when you are that age, it's really not that scary.
00:51:14.182 --> 00:51:17.117
You're still exactly the same person you were, just better.
00:51:17.690 --> 00:51:17.949
yeah.
00:51:18.690 --> 00:51:22.300
Well, for Nate and I, half the time we're like, How old are we now?
00:51:22.309 --> 00:51:27.329
Which is our, inside joke about we're getting old because we can't even remember how old we are.
00:51:27.329 --> 00:51:29.038
But I feel like we look the same.
00:51:29.038 --> 00:51:29.768
We feel the same.
00:51:29.768 --> 00:51:32.487
I mean, you know, you're constantly making tweaks to what works for you.
00:51:32.510 --> 00:51:34.068
I do feel like I need more sleep.
00:51:34.644 --> 00:51:41.282
You just have less tolerance for wanting to stay out when you just want to go home and relax and so priorities shift.
00:51:41.282 --> 00:51:42.603
And that's probably what people notice.
00:51:42.603 --> 00:51:45.802
They're like, Oh, I don't stay out as late anymore, but that's fine.
00:51:45.853 --> 00:51:47.663
Now you're just spending your time differently.
00:51:47.663 --> 00:51:49.693
It doesn't mean it's worse or you're old.
00:51:49.702 --> 00:51:52.603
You just might have different priorities and things you want to do with your time.
00:51:52.603 --> 00:51:54.222
And I think that's good and that's healthy.
00:51:54.900 --> 00:51:55.190
Yeah.
00:51:55.690 --> 00:52:00.630
Circling back to what we were saying earlier about jobs, you know, like, just comes down to your priorities.
00:52:02.108 --> 00:52:02.458
Right.
00:52:02.467 --> 00:52:05.947
And a lot of times it takes a while to figure out what those priorities are.
00:52:05.947 --> 00:52:07.967
And it's okay that you don't have it all figured out.
00:52:07.967 --> 00:52:14.358
I think if that's something I could go back and tell myself when I was 30, it's like, Hey, you're actually not supposed to have this figured out.
00:52:14.407 --> 00:52:18.188
This is very cliche, but it's not like there's a manual, you know?
00:52:18.210 --> 00:52:21.987
There is no benchmark that you're supposed to be at at a certain age.
00:52:22.413 --> 00:52:24.952
I mean, look at your veterans going back to school.
00:52:24.974 --> 00:52:29.432
If they would live by that, they, they think that they were unsuccessful and that's not true at all.
00:52:29.454 --> 00:52:32.742
Sometimes we just have different experiences for different reasons.
00:52:32.753 --> 00:52:39.563
Like Maybe they weren't in school when they were between the ages of 18 and 22 or whatever, because they were serving our country.
00:52:39.929 --> 00:52:54.277
and maybe I wasn't in this successful quote unquote successful job at a certain age because I still had to experience other things to figure it out, you know,, and you realize now looking back that those other experiences are what makes you who you are.
00:52:54.277 --> 00:52:58.947
That's why I'm at this level of enlightenment that I am now because I experienced all those things.
00:52:58.969 --> 00:53:05.487
If I had just stayed in the same job since I was 22, I don't think I would have learned half as many things as I know right now.
00:53:05.974 --> 00:53:07.264
Yeah, exactly.
00:53:07.454 --> 00:53:13.045
and you also wouldn't appreciate where you are now if you hadn't gone through that, those experiences.
00:53:13.054 --> 00:53:13.074
Mm hmm.
00:53:13.889 --> 00:53:15.780
the experiences are how we learn and grow.
00:53:16.409 --> 00:53:22.188
Everybody has, everyone has, a reason, of why they're in your life or every job has a reason.
00:53:22.188 --> 00:53:28.458
And, the more you can appreciate that instead of seeing it as a mistake, just seeing it as a stepping stone and a learning experience.
00:53:28.507 --> 00:53:38.007
Anyway, Whitney, I'm so excited for now that you're done with your work travel, that we are going to be jumping back on board here with some more episodes coming up in the fall.
00:53:38.030 --> 00:53:48.338
We're going to be having a dating episode in which I'm going to talk with a friend of yours about dating and we're definitely going to be talking more about the books that we've been reading this summer, things that we've been watching.
00:53:48.398 --> 00:53:50.427
So we have a lot of fun things on deck.
00:53:50.909 --> 00:53:57.650
yes, we do and I'm excited to be back in the routine of being home and podcasting with you
00:53:58.557 --> 00:53:58.918
Yes.
00:53:59.507 --> 00:54:00.228
Yay.
00:54:00.869 --> 00:54:01.340
Yay
00:00:37.954 --> 00:00:38.854
Hi, Whitney.
00:00:39.496 --> 00:00:42.274
This is our first surviving and thriving episode.
00:00:42.325 --> 00:00:52.005
I was talking with you recently that one of the things that we said we were going to do on our podcast, it says it in our intro is that we're going to talk about how we are surviving and thriving.
00:00:52.426 --> 00:00:56.395
So I wanted us to talk today about how we are surviving and thriving.
00:00:56.395 --> 00:01:02.234
What are the ups and downs what's going on in our lives this summer, the summer of 2023.
00:01:02.875 --> 00:01:04.405
So here we are.
00:01:05.266 --> 00:01:10.527
thank you for reminding me that we are surviving and thriving because I think it's important for us, to talk about it.
00:01:11.427 --> 00:01:13.245
Today, I feel like I'm surviving a little bit.
00:01:13.245 --> 00:01:15.844
I am recording outside my normal habitat.
00:01:15.875 --> 00:01:18.644
I am dog sitting at my sister's house in Maryland.
00:01:18.655 --> 00:01:24.674
And, there's all these noises outside, like someone mowing the lawn or weed Whacker.
00:01:24.674 --> 00:01:25.204
I don't know.
00:01:25.204 --> 00:01:27.805
I just moved rooms to not hear the noise.
00:01:27.805 --> 00:01:28.715
And now I'm hearing it.
00:01:29.650 --> 00:01:40.170
Out the other window, so I am surviving today with trying, not to have the sounds of suburbia in the background, which is ironic to me because usually when I'm in the city, you could hear a pin drop.
00:01:41.167 --> 00:01:42.736
Yeah, that's very interesting.
00:01:42.766 --> 00:01:45.126
Maybe you're just, immune to city sounds.
00:01:46.430 --> 00:01:46.959
That's true.
00:01:46.992 --> 00:01:51.620
But, the weed whacker might make an appearance on today's episode, but hopefully not.
00:01:52.677 --> 00:01:58.367
Well, it's, just an extra little layer of flavor, the suburban flavor.
00:01:59.644 --> 00:02:00.204
That's right.
00:02:00.204 --> 00:02:09.865
Well, I've had an interesting experience so far at my sister's house cause I've had to care for her two dogs who are a little bit out of sorts cause Devin and her family had been traveling a lot this summer.
00:02:09.865 --> 00:02:14.525
I think they miss, they miss their, their family at the dogs, miss their family.
00:02:14.995 --> 00:02:16.474
Um, and they've been needy for me.
00:02:16.497 --> 00:02:17.574
They can't make up their mind.
00:02:17.574 --> 00:02:18.354
Do they want to go in?
00:02:18.375 --> 00:02:19.245
Do they want to go out?
00:02:19.326 --> 00:02:22.426
Meanwhile, Mowgli is basically snoring behind me.
00:02:22.997 --> 00:02:24.106
You can see his little feet.
00:02:25.020 --> 00:02:27.530
And for those that don't know, Whitney has a dog named Mowgli.
00:02:27.530 --> 00:02:30.050
I don't know that we've ever mentioned Mowgli on an episode.
00:02:30.050 --> 00:02:33.520
So yes, she has Mowgli who is super cute.
00:02:33.530 --> 00:02:35.289
He loves to chew on ice cubes.
00:02:35.645 --> 00:02:36.305
He's the best.
00:02:36.727 --> 00:02:37.736
he does love ice cubes.
00:02:37.747 --> 00:02:41.546
we took him for a walk yesterday and it was a little bit warm, so he had ice cubes yesterday, too.
00:02:41.556 --> 00:02:41.586
Yes.
00:02:42.974 --> 00:02:43.784
I just love that.
00:02:44.534 --> 00:02:48.164
So Whitney talking about surviving and thriving this summer.
00:02:48.164 --> 00:02:50.085
We've had all sorts of things going on.
00:02:50.185 --> 00:02:52.224
right now I'm on summer vacation as a teacher.
00:02:52.224 --> 00:02:53.205
We're off in the summer.
00:02:53.215 --> 00:02:54.264
So that's been really great.
00:02:54.335 --> 00:03:03.925
For me, the biggest thing is always finding a routine in the summer because we don't have school, as an obliger, which is someone who needs the outer accountability.
00:03:04.275 --> 00:03:09.175
Sometimes it's hard for me to stick to a good routine because I really could do whatever I want.
00:03:09.634 --> 00:03:13.664
But I know for you, you've been traveling around all over the place with your job.
00:03:13.675 --> 00:03:15.784
You just finished your summer travel, which.
00:03:16.194 --> 00:03:17.675
Started in May, right?
00:03:17.711 --> 00:03:19.151
Yeah, well, it's funny,
00:03:19.615 --> 00:03:24.735
Whitney, I know that you love the summer travel and that's probably one of the favorite points of your job.
00:03:24.935 --> 00:03:28.245
But could you tell us first of all, what is your job exactly?
00:03:28.245 --> 00:03:32.405
What have you been doing this summer at all your different travel projects and sites?
00:03:32.917 --> 00:03:39.044
I'd just love to hear more about how you were able to manage traveling for months on end in the summer and staying sane.
00:03:39.981 --> 00:03:47.252
Suze, that you say that you're having trouble forming your routine in the summer, because you have, less things going on.
00:03:47.262 --> 00:03:52.241
I also find that it's hard to stick with a routine in the summer because I have more things going on.
00:03:52.262 --> 00:03:54.451
So, it works both ways, first off.
00:03:54.551 --> 00:03:58.942
so, Suze, as you said, I work for an organization called Warrior Scholar Project.
00:03:58.991 --> 00:04:06.002
it's a non profit that helps enlisted veterans and service members, prepare for the transition to higher education.
00:04:06.662 --> 00:04:08.222
So, one of those...
00:04:08.516 --> 00:04:31.726
challenges that, enlisted veterans and service members face if they are separating from the military or have separated from the military and are thinking about going to college is that they haven't been in a classroom probably for a long time or if they have, they might be trying to muscle through it on their own and it's just not an ideal situation, right?
00:04:31.726 --> 00:04:36.757
They're a lot of times going back to school as an older student, between the ages of.
00:04:37.276 --> 00:04:50.547
You know, 21, 24, 36, and they're in a classroom with traditional age college students who they, might not feel that they have a lot, in common with or, similar struggles.
00:04:50.596 --> 00:04:52.396
they might have families at that point.
00:04:52.406 --> 00:04:54.336
So it's just, it's a really big transition.
00:04:54.992 --> 00:05:05.031
And, my primary role at Warrior Scholar Project is I'm the Director of Communications and Marketing, so that's the role I fulfill for the organization all year long.
00:05:05.141 --> 00:05:19.531
But in the summer, I get an extra, little hat to wear that I, that I love, which is I get to go to our programs, which we have academic boot camps hosted with 21 college and university partners across the country.
00:05:20.122 --> 00:05:23.641
And we We host these academic boot camps.
00:05:23.641 --> 00:05:29.362
They're immersive experiences to simulate what it's like to be in college.
00:05:29.362 --> 00:05:33.601
So, we have a group of veterans and service members coming to a campus.
00:05:33.641 --> 00:05:42.651
for example, the campuses that I traveled to this summer were Yale University, Brown University, and Columbia University.
00:05:43.651 --> 00:05:46.031
And they are living in the dorms.
00:05:46.591 --> 00:05:48.172
They're eating in the dining halls.
00:05:48.271 --> 00:05:52.572
They're going to class with, and being taught by professors from that university.
00:05:52.851 --> 00:05:56.482
And also by peer mentors that are also other student veterans.
00:05:56.831 --> 00:06:01.052
And so it's a really cool experience and it kind of shows them that they can do this, right?
00:06:01.101 --> 00:06:05.312
they have what it takes and they can gain the confidence that they'll succeed in college.
00:06:05.862 --> 00:06:14.041
So, in the summer, as I said, I get to go to these programs and I spend Roughly 10 days at each program.
00:06:14.271 --> 00:06:19.942
If we do a one week program, that's how long as a staff person I, I have to be on campus.
00:06:20.451 --> 00:06:35.942
so, I go away for fairly long work trips in the summer, and this summer, at the beginning of the summer, I had my nephew's graduation in Maryland, and then I went from there straight to training for work, in Florida.
00:06:36.576 --> 00:06:40.276
And then straight from training to a 10 day program at Yale.
00:06:40.276 --> 00:06:49.286
So, my first travel experience of the summer, I was away from my husband and Mowgli, for 23 days.
00:06:49.634 --> 00:06:50.324
Wow.
00:06:50.644 --> 00:06:54.074
So I guess my question, first of all, I should backtrack for a second.
00:06:54.074 --> 00:06:55.084
I think it's incredible.
00:06:55.095 --> 00:07:00.704
The programs that your organization puts on, it's such a great idea.
00:07:00.976 --> 00:07:06.084
But of course it makes a lot of sense that the veterans would be so far removed from that academic experience.
00:07:07.132 --> 00:07:09.139
I'm sure that would be quite a transition.
00:07:09.870 --> 00:07:10.769
So it's incredible.
00:07:10.839 --> 00:07:14.600
And last year I got to see that a little bit firsthand when I visited you at Princeton,
00:07:14.841 --> 00:07:15.192
Yes.,
00:07:15.360 --> 00:07:18.490
and got to meet some of your fellows and some of the people in the program.
00:07:18.490 --> 00:07:24.120
And I thought it was just so cool that you were staying in the dorm and, simulating this whole.
00:07:24.305 --> 00:07:33.295
Experience but my question is, how are you able to travel that much and be away from Mowgli, Nate, your home?
00:07:33.326 --> 00:07:35.545
Do you feel like you're off routine?
00:07:35.595 --> 00:07:37.175
How much does that really affect you?
00:07:37.266 --> 00:07:41.016
Well, obviously, being away from your family is hard.
00:07:41.396 --> 00:07:44.536
But if I'm going to be away from my family, at least...
00:07:45.002 --> 00:07:49.951
What I, I feel what I'm doing when I'm away from my family is worth the sacrifice, right?
00:07:50.221 --> 00:07:53.312
I'm putting good into the world in some way, so that's helpful.
00:07:53.812 --> 00:08:06.502
I think it is always hard in the summer because it seems like I have a routine at home and then I have a routine when I'm traveling and the travel routine is, is kind of short lived in the way that I'm there for ten days.
00:08:06.512 --> 00:08:09.651
So I, establish a routine and then I leave and go home, right?
00:08:10.276 --> 00:08:16.836
So I think sometimes it's harder to establish the routine there, even though each course I'm at has a very similar schedule.
00:08:18.016 --> 00:08:25.547
but like exercise, for example, not always knowing what, facilities are available whenever I'm going somewhere.
00:08:25.547 --> 00:08:34.966
So like when I'm home, I'm like really into my gym, we do personal training, I play a lot of pickleball, I'm very good about being in a good exercise routine when I'm home.
00:08:35.136 --> 00:08:37.716
I mean, I've, we walk our dog, there's a lot going on.
00:08:38.126 --> 00:08:44.006
depending on the campus I go to, and if we have gym access, that can be, unpredictable, right?
00:08:44.496 --> 00:08:50.576
This summer, oh, two of the three campuses that I went to had gym access, but it was varying.
00:08:50.576 --> 00:08:56.067
So, what I need for my normal fitness routine, only one of the campuses really had something for that.
00:08:56.527 --> 00:09:08.647
So, that's challenging, but the other campus that had gym access was also in New York City, so I could always just go for a walk and walk as long as I wanted because there's like an endless options of things to see in New York City, right?
00:09:09.534 --> 00:09:10.054
Right.
00:09:10.667 --> 00:09:17.716
So I think the, exercise routine and the sleep routine are two of the things that it's hard to go back and forth between.
00:09:18.246 --> 00:09:40.447
one thing that I always do now that I learned last summer, to start doing was I got a travel pillow that's a really nice pillow and that really helps because sleeping on a dorm bed with the, pillow they give you that's they buy them in like the thousands and they just hand them out, right, is not really conducive to getting a good night's sleep for me.
00:09:40.626 --> 00:09:45.657
I'm beyond the point where I can just like, I'm a side sleeper, so I can sleep on like a hard floor and be okay.
00:09:45.667 --> 00:09:50.216
So, packing a travel pillow has been a game changer in the sleep department.
00:09:50.279 --> 00:09:58.370
Whitney, by travel pillow, is it a smaller pillow or it's literally just a separate pillow that you use for travel or is it one that's a little bit more compact?
00:09:58.476 --> 00:09:58.956
both.
00:09:59.386 --> 00:10:05.017
So, I got what's called a pillow cube, which I can, put, we can put a link to the show notes.
00:10:05.407 --> 00:10:06.817
I'm a side sleeper, so.
00:10:07.937 --> 00:10:10.157
Finding a good pillow can be difficult, right?
00:10:10.476 --> 00:10:16.437
But there were all these ads on Instagram one time for this pillow cube, and it was specifically for side sleepers.
00:10:16.437 --> 00:10:19.616
And so I was at that stage where I was like, let me just try it.
00:10:19.687 --> 00:10:20.437
Maybe it's cool.
00:10:21.067 --> 00:10:29.756
and it, the actual pillow cube is a, it's like a cube pillow, so it comes in this little travel size, And I liked it, but it was kind of small.
00:10:29.767 --> 00:10:35.177
So, they make a bigger one for my bed, so I, Once I realized I liked it, I immediately ordered the big one for my bed.
00:10:35.866 --> 00:10:38.647
But also, it comes in really handy for travel.
00:10:38.687 --> 00:10:42.256
And it's easy to compress into a compression bag.
00:10:42.256 --> 00:10:43.524
That sounds really smart.
00:10:43.554 --> 00:10:46.054
And you had mentioned about the pillow cube.
00:10:46.164 --> 00:10:49.445
you also use packing cubes as well for your trips.
00:10:49.797 --> 00:11:08.236
Yes, packing cubes are really helpful because you can categorize the types of things you need, a lot of people have, a standard packing list, which I probably should make one in writing somewhere, But, for now, I have things I need and outfits I need for my travel, Which my travel, I might need, when I travel for boot camps in the summer.
00:11:08.652 --> 00:11:11.052
I might need casual clothes for every day.
00:11:11.062 --> 00:11:15.562
My camp counselor attire, as I think I jokingly called it when you were at Princeton.
00:11:15.902 --> 00:11:19.192
which is my work polo and some shorts and some nice walking shoes.
00:11:19.192 --> 00:11:22.022
Cause, walking around these campuses, you have to be comfy.
00:11:22.731 --> 00:11:26.312
so I might need more casual wear for day to day stuff that's comfy.
00:11:26.312 --> 00:11:30.231
But then, we have an end of course reception at each of our events.
00:11:30.231 --> 00:11:32.981
So, I need a formal...
00:11:33.522 --> 00:11:36.091
Dress and, dress shoes, as well.
00:11:36.091 --> 00:11:38.081
So I have to pack a range of outfits.
00:11:38.881 --> 00:11:43.822
The last, campus I was at this summer, went right into our alumni conference at Princeton.
00:11:43.822 --> 00:11:46.042
So I got to go back to Princeton after Columbia.
00:11:46.562 --> 00:11:50.672
and I needed a variety of business casual outfits for that conference.
00:11:50.682 --> 00:11:57.292
So, just having the packing cubes allows you to designate a cube for each purpose.
00:11:57.672 --> 00:12:00.101
Or at least for me, it, it, that's how I use them.
00:12:00.804 --> 00:12:04.085
Yeah, I actually started using packing cubes this year as well.
00:12:04.106 --> 00:12:11.455
I feel like I need more of them, because I, yeah, I ran out, so some of my stuff was in cubes and not others,
00:12:11.527 --> 00:12:12.966
Yeah, they've been a huge help for me.
00:12:13.287 --> 00:12:24.336
I ended up getting, a set last year before I did travel, and then I immediately bought a matching second set because, as you said, I feel like you need, a certain quantity of them just to even get started.
00:12:25.272 --> 00:12:29.562
even now when Nate and I go places, he's always like Hey, can I have one of those cube things?
00:12:30.769 --> 00:12:41.309
Yeah, I noticed my sister, on her, our family vacation, she was using, and the shoe organizers that you can buy, for kids clothes, you can put an outfit inside each one of those little shoe.
00:12:41.309 --> 00:12:41.389
Yeah.
00:12:41.639 --> 00:12:51.379
Pockets she had whole outfits put together for her kids that included the shorts, the top, what underwear and socks and rolled it all in a little ball and put it in each little pocket.
00:12:51.659 --> 00:12:53.139
thought that was pretty clever.
00:12:53.210 --> 00:12:56.350
so there's all sorts of little travel hacks.
00:12:57.442 --> 00:13:26.251
I think that it's helpful just to figure out, which one is sustainable for you because, for me, the packing cubes are helpful, I also like, those compression bags, I don't know if you've ever seen them, the, travel compression bags, so, if I'm at a campus where there's not access to laundry, I would just, put them in a compression bag and, roll them up so then they take less room in the suitcase but, they're kind of away from anything that you have in your suitcase that you may not have worn on the trip or you may have washed and, is still clean in your bag.
00:13:26.851 --> 00:13:36.172
and I, I use one of those for my pillow as well because it, is able to compress my pillow down to a much smaller size so it doesn't take up as much room in my suitcase.
00:13:36.919 --> 00:13:37.610
Oh, I love that.
00:13:37.610 --> 00:13:42.500
That's such a good idea because it just keeps everything more compact and manageable in your suitcase.
00:13:42.581 --> 00:13:43.121
Mm hmm.
00:13:43.131 --> 00:13:43.152
Yeah.
00:13:43.397 --> 00:13:45.264
I know that you were telling me offline.
00:13:45.287 --> 00:13:47.475
Really summer travel is where you're thriving.
00:13:47.475 --> 00:13:48.855
You're not really surviving that.
00:13:48.876 --> 00:13:50.815
Everyone else thinks that you're surviving.
00:13:50.825 --> 00:13:55.845
Cause like I said, other people are projecting their anxieties like, Oh my gosh, you're gone for so long.
00:13:55.904 --> 00:13:58.815
But really, for you, you're enjoying it so much.
00:13:58.815 --> 00:14:04.955
So maybe you could just go into briefly of how your summer travel is really, when you thrive, it's your favorite time of year.
00:14:04.955 --> 00:14:05.825
And why is that?
00:14:06.397 --> 00:14:11.236
currently I work remotely, so I don't get to see my coworkers in real life very often.
00:14:11.256 --> 00:14:16.817
And summer is one of the few times that I get to see them and interact with them on a somewhat of a regular basis.
00:14:17.376 --> 00:14:29.657
at our first campus, Yale, we had two, cohorts running concurrently, so I got to see several of my colleagues, both, our seasonal fellows and some of the folks that are on central staff with me full time.
00:14:29.956 --> 00:14:31.277
so that was really cool.
00:14:31.277 --> 00:14:33.206
At training, I got to see everyone.
00:14:33.466 --> 00:14:38.427
So I think for me, a lot of it is the people and, part of that is the people I already know, right?
00:14:38.427 --> 00:14:48.076
The people who are a part of my work routine, but I just don't get to see them very often, and that makes it exciting because it's, feels like a special occurrence.
00:14:48.586 --> 00:14:53.937
But also, I really just love watching the impact of our programs in real time.
00:14:54.386 --> 00:15:10.606
seeing the students come in, seeing them their very first day, how they're excited, but you can tell they're a little bit nervous, and then as programming starts, The nervousness comes out a little bit because it is an intense program, and it's intentionally an intense program, to show them that they can do it.
00:15:10.767 --> 00:15:12.187
But, there is a point.
00:15:12.756 --> 00:15:15.557
In the week where, you can see that they're, feeling the stress.
00:15:15.557 --> 00:15:22.397
But then you also get to see them overcome it, so it's that, rewarding experience of, watching the, growth that happens in such a short time.
00:15:22.716 --> 00:15:27.256
And then seeing them basically, graduate from the program on that, final Friday, right?
00:15:27.697 --> 00:15:28.736
that's really cool.
00:15:28.836 --> 00:15:36.711
and so I think, again, if I'm going to be away from my family for this long, It should be for something that is impactful as that, right?
00:15:36.981 --> 00:15:40.451
And it sort of fills my cup in that way, if that makes sense.
00:15:41.240 --> 00:15:42.080
Oh, absolutely.
00:15:42.080 --> 00:15:42.370
Whitney.
00:15:42.379 --> 00:15:52.169
Actually, what you just said dovetails perfectly into what I was going to talk about next about how I'm thriving is, I recently just experienced seeing students of mine graduate.
00:15:52.491 --> 00:15:57.830
I understand completely the fulfillment that you feel and seeing students overcome a challenge.
00:15:58.240 --> 00:16:01.889
Maybe really, watch like the self actualization process.
00:16:01.912 --> 00:16:08.639
You're seeing them maybe start out with some trepidation, anxiety, and then by the end they've achieved something and you can see how proud they are.
00:16:08.639 --> 00:16:09.559
You're proud of them.
00:16:09.559 --> 00:16:11.870
It just feels like this big full circle moment.
00:16:12.549 --> 00:16:15.740
And that's exactly what I experienced, as a teacher.
00:16:15.799 --> 00:16:21.350
This past, spring, the fifth graders that I had when I first began my job just graduated eighth grade.
00:16:22.149 --> 00:16:28.450
So it had been a four year cycle and then students that I had started working with, at my current job.
00:16:28.690 --> 00:16:32.370
I've only been there for three years, but some of the students were already sophomores or juniors.
00:16:32.370 --> 00:16:35.529
By the time I started, they just graduated this year.
00:16:35.731 --> 00:16:37.980
So I was able to see graduation for.
00:16:38.322 --> 00:16:46.899
students that I had in fifth grade, graduate eighth grade, and then students that I had in the middle of their high school career, graduate high school, that to me was so fulfilling.
00:16:46.899 --> 00:16:47.710
So rewarding.
00:16:47.710 --> 00:16:58.565
I had never gone through that process with students before, and it really helped for me to see, why I do what I do, because even though I, I always enjoyed my job, but it's.
00:16:58.565 --> 00:17:13.884
Sometimes it's really difficult as a teacher to see, what this all adds up to because in the moment you're just, you're just in the moment, you have a hard day and it's really hard to understand, where this eventually leads for the student, for the student's family, for yourself.
00:17:13.997 --> 00:17:15.365
and so it was just so.
00:17:16.089 --> 00:17:27.099
Fulfilling and gratifying to finally see the students reach these milestones and really to put everything in perspective of Oh, this is, this is why that struggle that we overcame together was so important.
00:17:27.099 --> 00:17:28.400
And this is why that matters.
00:17:28.410 --> 00:17:29.910
Like now this is a huge.
00:17:30.164 --> 00:17:31.265
Point in their lives.
00:17:31.285 --> 00:17:53.765
And I guess until their family was there at graduation, I never really realized how much the student success means to the family, especially for students, when I'm teaching ESL students that have come from other countries, their parents brought them here for, an education, a degree to be able to work and earn jobs and send money back to their family.
00:17:53.765 --> 00:17:56.404
And, really achieve that American dream.
00:17:56.444 --> 00:17:58.194
And I felt like I was a part of that.
00:17:58.845 --> 00:18:01.974
It was hard to see in those day to day moments in the classroom.
00:18:02.596 --> 00:18:06.884
I feel so enlightened and inspired.
00:18:06.926 --> 00:18:09.394
I really understand like what this all means.
00:18:10.102 --> 00:18:14.132
Yeah, that's, that's honestly entirely it for my job too.
00:18:14.182 --> 00:18:18.071
And I mean, I should clarify, I'm not the person, teaching the students.
00:18:18.082 --> 00:18:22.382
I'm just there for, logistical support while the teaching and learning is happening.
00:18:22.672 --> 00:18:26.902
but I, I make a point to get to know the students, that we're spending time with that week.
00:18:27.201 --> 00:18:28.037
And then...
00:18:28.416 --> 00:18:31.807
We also have, like I mentioned, our alumni conference at the end of the summer.
00:18:31.826 --> 00:18:46.406
And so that's particularly special because then students from the past cohorts that I've been on site for are at the alumni conference and I get to see where they are at their career in their careers now, there were several of the students that I had last year.
00:18:46.626 --> 00:18:56.166
at Princeton, who were at the alumni conference this year, and they're applying to college, or they've gotten accepted to college, or some of my students from last summer have taken research experiences.
00:18:56.247 --> 00:19:15.402
I had a number of my students actually be accepted into the Yale, research experiences for veteran undergraduates program, so I got to see them when I was at Yale, and it's just, it's so rewarding and fulfilling, and, It it reminds me that, there is good in the world and that I'm a small piece of, producing that good in the world.
00:19:16.565 --> 00:19:17.625
Oh, absolutely.
00:19:17.654 --> 00:19:18.174
Absolutely.
00:19:18.174 --> 00:19:24.204
And I can tell how dedicated you are to your college projects and your students as you're sitting here now.
00:19:24.204 --> 00:19:26.625
No one can see, but I can see you're wearing an MIT shirt.
00:19:26.811 --> 00:19:27.521
Oh, yes.
00:19:28.021 --> 00:19:28.402
Yeah.
00:19:28.616 --> 00:19:31.244
I don't know the full effect of Your job.
00:19:31.255 --> 00:19:38.065
But when I was there briefly visiting you that one time, the people that you work with and your students seem like such incredible people.
00:19:38.085 --> 00:19:40.924
They were really awesome, very friendly and warm.
00:19:40.924 --> 00:19:46.355
And, it felt like I was getting a little sneak peek and something that was very special or pivotal in their lives.
00:19:47.287 --> 00:19:51.904
That's really the beauty of any sort of a program that helps people achieve a goal.
00:19:51.977 --> 00:19:56.954
You're helping these students reach milestones along the way and helping them become who they're ultimately going to be.
00:19:57.394 --> 00:20:01.234
And really it is very, very hard in the daily grind as a teacher.
00:20:01.234 --> 00:20:03.075
You just don't see that big picture.
00:20:03.105 --> 00:20:09.815
But I think that now that I've experienced it on a couple of different levels, that's really going to inspire me throughout the school year.
00:20:09.836 --> 00:20:11.714
It's not to say I'm not going to have hard days.
00:20:11.759 --> 00:20:17.150
Cause I am, and I have that expectation now, it's not going to surprise me when things are tough.
00:20:17.809 --> 00:20:26.119
but I think just knowing this is going to matter one day, like one day, I remember one girl that just graduated this year, I was really pushing her every day to do her work.
00:20:26.119 --> 00:20:27.519
She'd always be like, why are we doing this?
00:20:27.539 --> 00:20:28.480
Why do we have to do this?
00:20:28.501 --> 00:20:33.549
But then at graduation, we almost cried when we locked eyes and she just didn't really have to say anything.
00:20:33.549 --> 00:20:36.740
She just gave me a hug and wanted a picture with me and her family was there.
00:20:36.740 --> 00:20:37.740
And I was like, Oh my goodness.
00:20:37.761 --> 00:20:40.299
All those times that she drove me absolutely crazy
00:20:40.567 --> 00:20:40.916
Mm hmm.
00:20:41.660 --> 00:20:45.579
and she argued with me every step of the way, but here she is graduated.
00:20:45.579 --> 00:20:47.369
And she's a better student for it.
00:20:47.970 --> 00:20:49.599
I have more motivation now.
00:20:49.660 --> 00:20:50.329
I know.
00:20:50.599 --> 00:20:59.480
What it's going to feel like when we get to that, that end point and sometimes perspective really helps the day to day, knowing where it's all going
00:21:00.076 --> 00:21:00.386
Yeah.
00:21:00.386 --> 00:21:17.616
and you and I have talked about how it's very important for us to have jobs where we feel like we're making a difference, whereas, maybe some people, that's not a, major motivator or a big priority for them in a job, maybe they just really need, to focus on their paycheck or they're working a lot.
00:21:18.287 --> 00:21:31.906
To live not living to work or whatever, but I know you and I are both very career focused and for us Having a meaningful career is a big part of that we wouldn't be working so hard if we didn't feel that we were, making a difference
00:21:32.615 --> 00:21:34.035
Yeah, absolutely.
00:21:34.085 --> 00:21:38.894
Listeners don't really know my journey, but I started out in the journalism field and I'm still a writer.
00:21:38.894 --> 00:21:39.744
I still love to write.
00:21:39.744 --> 00:21:45.154
I know I do mention that I'm a writer in the intro of our show, but I never really talked about my journey.
00:21:45.154 --> 00:21:54.904
But one of the reasons that I decided to go back to school and switch careers, more than a decade ago at this point is because I didn't really feel that in journalism I was having that much of an impact.
00:21:54.914 --> 00:21:57.724
Now there are still rewarding moments in journalism.
00:21:57.724 --> 00:21:58.904
I still feel them today.
00:21:58.904 --> 00:22:06.595
Like when you write a really impactful story about a person or a family, you know,, that means something to that person or that family, that their story is being shared.
00:22:06.936 --> 00:22:14.944
And I've had some Moments where I feel goosebumps for writing something really important for somebody or, you're capturing a legacy or something like that.
00:22:14.954 --> 00:22:18.234
So I do feel like there is obviously gratification in journalism.
00:22:18.234 --> 00:22:23.394
There's power in writing, but I didn't feel like I was having the daily impact I wanted.
00:22:23.737 --> 00:22:30.734
You spend a lot of time behind a computer or sort of in your own head when you're a writer because it's not as much of an outward process.
00:22:30.815 --> 00:22:32.394
It's a lot more internal.
00:22:32.434 --> 00:22:37.025
And even though I enjoy that sporadically, I needed something that was more.
00:22:37.319 --> 00:22:42.170
Interactive day to day something that was more more service related.
00:22:42.201 --> 00:22:43.549
Teaching really is a service.
00:22:43.740 --> 00:22:44.579
It's a calling.
00:22:45.442 --> 00:22:50.920
And so that was 1 of the reasons I switch is I just did not feel fulfilled or like I was having the impact that I wanted.
00:22:51.785 --> 00:22:57.595
And with teaching, even though it's really hard, I do feel like I'm really helping and making a difference.
00:22:57.615 --> 00:23:01.095
And especially now that I've seen that firsthand, what that really looks like.
00:23:01.335 --> 00:23:04.005
What's the long term impact for these students and their families?
00:23:04.057 --> 00:23:05.095
I feel so much more.
00:23:05.230 --> 00:23:05.769
Fulfilled.
00:23:05.769 --> 00:23:07.900
And that's why I made this change years ago.
00:23:07.900 --> 00:23:12.609
So that was also good for me to feel like, wow, I'm so glad I switched careers.
00:23:12.609 --> 00:23:16.480
I went back to school, got two other degrees that was all worth it for me.
00:23:16.501 --> 00:23:45.392
I look at my own journey, and, I know you and I have talked about how, my career has been much more linear than yours, mine, shows a progression in the same field, whereas you, took a minute to, to find teaching, and to realize that that's where you were, needing to be, but I mean, in higher ed, what you said about, writing being like, working on your own and not really having the, interaction with the impact you're making, I, I mean, I felt that a bit in higher ed, too.
00:23:45.392 --> 00:24:05.811
I just don't think I realized that that was a piece of it that was missing for me until I started with, the organization I work for now, because I do have more of the direct interaction with the impact we're making, I think it is, it's a big difference, maybe at the university level if I had, started teaching adjunct in, a different department or something, I would have noticed that.
00:24:05.832 --> 00:24:10.511
But, it's, important to be interacting with the impact you're making,
00:24:10.539 --> 00:24:11.839
Yeah, definitely.
00:24:11.872 --> 00:24:14.500
I also took a break from teaching at one point in time.
00:24:15.480 --> 00:24:16.890
Wasn't really working out.
00:24:16.890 --> 00:24:17.920
Long story there.
00:24:17.961 --> 00:24:28.105
Now I, looking back, I see one bad experience does not necessarily mean you need to Not continue with something, but at that time it was bad enough that it seemed like, wow, this is a sign from the universe.
00:24:28.105 --> 00:24:31.275
I'm going to switch into the corporate space or try different things.
00:24:31.285 --> 00:24:39.894
So I actually did work in the corporate space and a little bit in higher ed and both those scenarios, I was doing sales related jobs and for a while it was kind of exciting.
00:24:39.894 --> 00:24:47.365
It was fun, especially when I first moved to Philadelphia and I was working in a high rise and we had work trips and it was just very fancy.
00:24:48.099 --> 00:24:50.569
And it was so exciting and teaching is not glamorous at all.
00:24:50.609 --> 00:24:51.930
have chalk on your pants.
00:24:51.930 --> 00:24:53.430
You constantly have paper cuts.
00:24:53.519 --> 00:24:55.509
My school in Philly, there's no air conditioning.
00:24:55.509 --> 00:24:56.390
So you're sweating.
00:24:56.892 --> 00:24:59.690
but in the corporate world, it's, it is very glamorous, but I.
00:25:00.194 --> 00:25:03.394
For a time I was fulfilled by that just cause it was so different and exciting.
00:25:03.394 --> 00:25:08.704
But then over, longer than a year period of time, I was so miserable.
00:25:08.755 --> 00:25:13.535
Remember when I was working at temple and I felt such guilt because I had an amazing position.
00:25:13.557 --> 00:25:17.664
Really, anybody would want this position that I had working in the business school.
00:25:17.664 --> 00:25:21.394
I went to China on a work trip, which very grateful for that experience.
00:25:21.454 --> 00:25:24.095
But I was so unfulfilled by doing sales.
00:25:24.116 --> 00:25:25.724
Again, this was the perfect scenario.
00:25:25.724 --> 00:25:27.444
I had a really nice office.
00:25:27.517 --> 00:25:29.134
I could leave at five.
00:25:29.255 --> 00:25:33.444
I didn't have homework to do, but I was absolutely miserable.
00:25:33.654 --> 00:25:45.664
And ultimately that's what led me back to teaching as I was being called to do something that was more hands on, more service related, more one on one helping people, which sales was not it for me.
00:25:45.704 --> 00:25:46.934
I felt the opposite.
00:25:46.994 --> 00:25:50.625
I was not interested in trying to, twist somebody's arm into coming to my school.
00:25:50.696 --> 00:25:51.007
Yeah.
00:25:51.856 --> 00:25:57.977
I'm a big proponent of higher ed, and I've spent my whole career, working in higher ed in some way, shape, or form.
00:25:57.977 --> 00:26:02.717
now, in my current role, we work with 21, partners in higher ed.
00:26:02.717 --> 00:26:07.567
So, I'm not just at a single university or college anymore.
00:26:07.676 --> 00:26:18.416
But, I I feel like I've always had the higher ed piece because higher ed is so important for me because I think education can really change your life and the trajectory of your, your path, for the better.
00:26:18.467 --> 00:26:21.247
And so I, I feel like I've always had that piece of it.
00:26:21.247 --> 00:26:26.116
I haven't ever worked in a corporate job where there was a profit line or anything like that.
00:26:26.537 --> 00:26:32.096
so I don't have the experience that you do, working in the corporate world, when you were in finance or whatever.
00:26:32.436 --> 00:26:38.457
But, for me it's much different in the non profit space because it just feels completely different to me.
00:26:38.507 --> 00:26:44.636
I feel like somehow I'm on, more on the front, funny, front lines of the impact.
00:26:45.115 --> 00:26:45.615
Yeah.
00:26:45.862 --> 00:26:51.240
You're right, but I, I think nothing sucked my soul more than being in a job that didn't align with my values.
00:26:51.259 --> 00:26:57.920
I didn't really feel that way in journalism because I do still feel like a lot of things about writing and journalism do align with me.
00:26:58.150 --> 00:27:01.000
It was just that I needed, the next level of alignment.
00:27:01.321 --> 00:27:05.920
But with working in sales, it just, it literally sucked my soul.
00:27:05.951 --> 00:27:07.950
I've never felt more unhappy in my life.
00:27:07.980 --> 00:27:10.390
Even when I was in the teaching job, that was bad.
00:27:11.420 --> 00:27:13.380
That was, uh, Maybe soul sucking in a different way.
00:27:13.470 --> 00:27:27.299
but, anyway, this just goes along with feeling like you're in the job for the right reasons, for the right value system and the alignment, and I just felt like I reached, the pinnacle of feeling that way this past year, especially toward, all the graduations at the end of the year.
00:27:28.362 --> 00:27:34.460
Whitney, I had a really sweet and amazing interaction with one of my parents, one of my students parents.
00:27:34.571 --> 00:27:41.650
the day after graduation, I, I was cleaning out my classroom I got called down to the office and you always get nervous when you get called to the office.
00:27:41.650 --> 00:27:46.569
Like why, have I in trouble, but no, when I got to the office, one of my.
00:27:47.005 --> 00:27:55.394
Students parents was standing there with a dozen roses and she doesn't speak much English at all other than to say hello and thank you.
00:27:55.454 --> 00:27:57.375
So we're standing there kind of looking at each other.
00:27:57.414 --> 00:28:01.214
So full of emotion and she Couldn't really tell me what she wanted to say.
00:28:02.234 --> 00:28:04.115
All she could say was, we love you.
00:28:05.095 --> 00:28:06.894
And she gave me these roses.
00:28:06.936 --> 00:28:07.924
I burst into tears.
00:28:07.924 --> 00:28:09.714
She literally had tears running down her cheeks.
00:28:09.737 --> 00:28:11.345
It was such an emotional moment.
00:28:11.366 --> 00:28:15.075
I've never felt such gratitude from somebody and.
00:28:15.349 --> 00:28:18.329
Again, just one of those moments where you're like, this is why I do this.
00:28:19.160 --> 00:28:22.390
And it was one of the sweetest things that anyone's ever done for me.
00:28:22.461 --> 00:28:30.460
I feel like this particular family, I didn't even realize how much I had impacted their lives, they came from another country for their kids to get education.
00:28:30.460 --> 00:28:32.259
And they really made it through because of me.
00:28:32.259 --> 00:28:34.700
So it was such a meaningful moment.
00:28:34.721 --> 00:28:43.920
I have not really come down from that high since, so I'm Riding that wave of gratitude and perspective and I'm taking that into this next school year.
00:28:43.920 --> 00:28:47.240
And I just feel so much more enlightened and inspired.
00:28:47.981 --> 00:28:48.402
Yes.
00:28:48.432 --> 00:29:03.051
I remember that, you made a post on your social media about that, and, it's just like the culmination of why you do what you do, and it was so sweet, and I'm so happy that you got that moment, and, that will fuel you for years to come.
00:29:03.089 --> 00:29:03.920
Absolutely.
00:29:03.950 --> 00:29:05.259
It really, really does.
00:29:05.259 --> 00:29:10.430
I just feel like that's what I needed just to be like, okay, yeah, this is it.
00:29:10.440 --> 00:29:11.859
This is why I do this.
00:29:12.612 --> 00:29:13.369
And it was really.
00:29:13.815 --> 00:29:19.625
Really fulfilling to feel that because not everybody has moments like that, or even a moment like that.
00:29:19.634 --> 00:29:23.884
I was talking recently with a friend of ours who lives in San Francisco and I was telling him about this.
00:29:24.704 --> 00:29:27.934
And he said to me, not everybody feels that way about their job.
00:29:27.944 --> 00:29:35.134
And he, he sort of admitted that he doesn't feel that way about his job in terms of feeling like enlightened and rich, like this is, this is my purpose.
00:29:35.474 --> 00:29:42.724
He said that he's just come to accept that he likes his job, but he's never going to feel like this moment of enlightenment inspiration.
00:29:42.724 --> 00:29:46.875
And he was like, that's really cool that you feel that because, some people will never feel that.
00:29:47.144 --> 00:29:48.734
And he's like, I don't think I'm going to feel that.
00:29:48.734 --> 00:29:52.904
So that's amazing that you're able to feel that way about what you do.
00:29:53.634 --> 00:30:02.355
And it is that actually really, was a revelation to me too, because as you just said, you and I, it is really important for us to feel that in our jobs.
00:30:02.404 --> 00:30:13.045
When I didn't feel that I was rotting from the inside, even though I was in this amazing, cushy position, I felt so guilty for not feeling fulfilled, but you just have to do what feels right to you.
00:30:13.067 --> 00:30:16.085
You can't feel guilty for not feeling like you're in the right job.
00:30:16.612 --> 00:30:18.440
Again, it just depends on your priority.
00:30:18.470 --> 00:30:30.400
They might be in a position where they're not feeling fulfilled or whatever, but for them, maybe it's just about the paycheck or my friend was saying, he tries to feel more fulfilled in the hobbies that he's doing after work.
00:30:30.400 --> 00:30:32.990
So maybe, yes, he is working cause he's good at it.
00:30:32.990 --> 00:30:35.170
And he, he's making enough money to live where he does.
00:30:35.605 --> 00:30:39.595
But he tries to do things that really make him feel happy outside of work and in his free time.
00:30:39.595 --> 00:30:42.654
And, I just feel really lucky that I can have both those things.
00:30:43.065 --> 00:30:49.164
I can enjoy my job and feel fulfilled, but also enjoy my hobbies and things I'm doing outside of work.
00:30:49.164 --> 00:30:51.444
So I feel really happy about that.
00:30:52.221 --> 00:30:52.521
Yeah.
00:30:52.521 --> 00:30:53.231
And, you're right.
00:30:53.231 --> 00:31:05.801
for some people, maybe the excitement of working in the corporate world or the excitement of the challenges they have in a corporate job is, is going to be the thing that makes them excited and happy and fulfilled, right?
00:31:05.951 --> 00:31:20.211
we're not trying to say that, everybody needs to feel the way we do about, a mission, oriented position or career, it just all comes down to what's important to you or what will give you the life that will make you the most happy.
00:31:20.701 --> 00:31:29.531
I always tell, the students that come through our programs, whenever they're thinking about, choosing a college, for example, a lot of our students end up choosing Ivy League schools.
00:31:29.551 --> 00:31:39.652
A lot of our partners are Ivy League schools, but it, puts this precedent out there that, if you're not, getting into an Ivy League school or attending an Ivy League school that you haven't succeeded.
00:31:39.652 --> 00:31:42.761
you're letting people down because that's not the path you're choosing.
00:31:43.342 --> 00:31:52.811
But I always try to stress that the school that is right for you is the school that offers you two things, the ability to be happy and the ability to be successful.
00:31:53.436 --> 00:32:19.787
So if that's at your local community college because you need to be close to your family Or you have children and you don't want to move your children so you need to stay where you are or whatever happy, and then will that school provide you a degree That will allow you to have a career that you find successful If so, it doesn't matter if that is at princeton or yale or at northern virginia community college
00:32:19.946 --> 00:32:20.406
Oh yeah.
00:32:20.406 --> 00:32:22.057
That's definitely a good rule of thumb.
00:32:22.089 --> 00:32:26.757
you and I both went to Penn state and that's an incredible experience and amazing network.
00:32:26.757 --> 00:32:27.846
But I got my.
00:32:28.275 --> 00:32:34.132
Second bachelor's I had to for when I went back to teaching, I had to get my English degree and then also I got my masters in education.
00:32:34.392 --> 00:32:40.211
I went to Bloomsburg University, just a small state school, and I loved my experience there.
00:32:40.211 --> 00:32:43.092
I think there's definitely something to be said for a small school.
00:32:43.115 --> 00:32:50.501
You and I know from going to the branch campus of Penn State Altoona before we went to main campus, I would, I mean, that I feel like changed my whole life.
00:32:50.501 --> 00:32:52.701
I'm still friends with all the people that I met there.
00:32:52.701 --> 00:32:53.951
They're, lifelong friends.
00:32:54.797 --> 00:32:58.426
But yeah, the small schools have always worked out the best for me.
00:32:58.490 --> 00:33:00.586
You get more of an intimate experience.
00:33:00.586 --> 00:33:02.067
You get to know your professors.
00:33:02.140 --> 00:33:03.416
I wouldn't trade that for anything.
00:33:03.436 --> 00:33:03.987
So you're right.
00:33:04.059 --> 00:33:04.359
Yeah.
00:33:04.392 --> 00:33:09.852
Yeah, everybody, everybody's, perfect scenario looks different, you can't compare yourself to someone else.
00:33:10.859 --> 00:33:11.130
Right.
00:33:12.221 --> 00:33:13.912
And, that's something else I wanted to add.
00:33:13.912 --> 00:33:21.761
Speaking of comparison is when I was talking with my friend about how, all these people are in jobs, but very few of them feel this level of.
00:33:22.214 --> 00:33:28.622
Inspiration or enrichment, it made me think about like back when I was struggling to find my career.
00:33:28.622 --> 00:33:30.001
Cause I've been, I've been all over.
00:33:30.001 --> 00:33:35.832
I was in, oh my gosh, since I moved to Philly, I had so many careers and side hustles, that's kind of mind boggling.
00:33:36.281 --> 00:33:49.622
but I always compared myself to other people like, Oh, so and so is in this job and I thought they were happy or, Oh man, this person's had a really linear career path and I always compared myself to other people who are in these jobs.
00:33:49.622 --> 00:33:53.412
And now I'm realizing like, yeah, they were in these jobs, but were they happy?
00:33:53.916 --> 00:33:55.356
Most of the time, no.
00:33:55.640 --> 00:34:08.150
Well, I feel like, in general, the things that you think you know about another person based on what their, LinkedIn profile says or what their social media photos are saying, It's a carefully curated selection.
00:34:08.559 --> 00:34:15.460
Of their experience, And sometimes it's it's hard to remember that whenever you're comparing your experience to theirs.
00:34:16.956 --> 00:34:18.226
yeah, definitely.
00:34:18.567 --> 00:34:26.226
And I will say also that, one of the other reasons I'm thriving this summer is I just turned 40 on Sunday, August 6th.
00:34:26.961 --> 00:34:30.391
Or it's been less than a week at this point, but yeah, thank you.
00:34:30.525 --> 00:34:39.791
I feel also not just because of my work experiences, but just in general, my life experiences, I feel the best I've ever felt in my whole life.
00:34:39.862 --> 00:34:44.802
Maybe just riding off the journey I've had with my school year, that started on such a high and I've just.
00:34:45.117 --> 00:34:47.257
Feel that way about the rest of my life too.
00:34:47.266 --> 00:34:50.577
Like everything's just come full circle and I get it now.
00:34:50.920 --> 00:34:51.230
Yeah.
00:34:51.827 --> 00:35:00.137
I think back to when I was 30 and honestly, not that there was anything wrong with my life, but it was, I was still trying to figure out where I was going to live, where I was going to work.
00:35:00.137 --> 00:35:02.556
Like, why can't I stick to something?
00:35:02.556 --> 00:35:06.226
Like other people are able to stick to things, I was not happy.
00:35:06.402 --> 00:35:14.931
I was not happy and I wasn't depressed or anything, but now that I know what it feels like to have your shit figured out for pardon my language.
00:35:15.204 --> 00:35:16.902
I did not have things figured out then.
00:35:16.902 --> 00:35:18.081
And it was a struggle.
00:35:18.242 --> 00:35:20.802
It was a struggle for a lot of years in my thirties.
00:35:20.802 --> 00:35:24.402
And I think a lot of that came down to comparing myself to other people.
00:35:24.972 --> 00:35:28.981
Not even really on purpose, but with social media, everything's in your face all the time.
00:35:29.005 --> 00:35:31.782
Even if you're not looking for a comparison, it's just there.
00:35:32.652 --> 00:35:38.052
And I was constantly like, how come my other friends were able to stick to one job since graduation?
00:35:38.052 --> 00:35:40.262
Or how come this person was able to get married?
00:35:40.262 --> 00:35:43.822
Well, at this point, I'm realizing that a lot of those friends hate their jobs.
00:35:44.072 --> 00:35:46.211
They don't feel any fulfillment for those jobs.
00:35:46.612 --> 00:35:48.922
Um, a lot of those marriages aren't still.
00:35:49.541 --> 00:35:52.092
Together, or they're, marriages have fallen apart.
00:35:52.101 --> 00:35:58.592
So I think when you hit 40, you start to realize things that you thought were like the pinnacle or what you should have.
00:35:58.911 --> 00:36:00.952
It was all just a facade, you know?
00:36:00.972 --> 00:36:01.291
I mean,
00:36:01.974 --> 00:36:02.284
Yeah.
00:36:02.402 --> 00:36:03.382
that's not always true.
00:36:03.382 --> 00:36:09.711
I definitely still have friends who are successful and happy and things like that, but you just realize everybody's on a different path.
00:36:09.764 --> 00:36:11.871
What works for somebody else doesn't work for you.
00:36:11.905 --> 00:36:12.771
There's no.
00:36:13.092 --> 00:36:15.532
Place you're supposed to be at a certain time.
00:36:15.925 --> 00:36:28.291
but I didn't really know that when I was 30, I felt like I was behind, like I didn't have the job yet, or I wasn't settled down somewhere, or I wasn't, I guess I was dating, but I wasn't happily dating.
00:36:28.922 --> 00:36:32.802
I just understand things so much more now and I have not ever felt better.
00:36:33.465 --> 00:36:35.775
So what do you think, clicked for you?
00:36:36.525 --> 00:36:38.195
stopping the comparisons?
00:36:38.224 --> 00:36:40.215
Or, do you think there was something else?
00:36:41.414 --> 00:36:44.981
I think it was really just figuring out things myself.
00:36:45.005 --> 00:36:53.681
Once I started feeling really happy where I was and what I was doing, then when you're really happy with yourself, you really don't care about other people.
00:36:53.681 --> 00:37:00.402
But I think when I was 30, since I was still trying to figure everything out and trying out different things, I wasn't happy.
00:37:00.547 --> 00:37:00.936
Yet.
00:37:01.367 --> 00:37:12.896
And so it's so easy when you're not happy and you're in a very vulnerable place emotionally or just personally, it is very easy to feel like someone else has more than you.
00:37:12.907 --> 00:37:16.887
Cause I didn't feel confident in where I was, and it just takes time.
00:37:16.920 --> 00:37:19.141
I don't think that I did anything wrong.
00:37:19.275 --> 00:37:24.652
Yeah, you know, there's like little decisions here or there that I could have done differently, but I don't think I made mistakes.
00:37:24.782 --> 00:37:28.211
I think that it just takes longer sometimes to figure things out.
00:37:28.211 --> 00:37:30.072
And that's just the way it's supposed to be.
00:37:30.554 --> 00:37:38.211
Who would have thought 10 years ago that I would end up in Philly teaching at a public school teaching English as a second language.
00:37:38.211 --> 00:37:40.021
That's not even what I went to school for.
00:37:40.074 --> 00:37:45.572
I honestly ended up in that job on a staffing error, things just happen sometimes.
00:37:46.275 --> 00:37:49.072
And so, and I, and it wasn't always easy.
00:37:49.072 --> 00:37:51.402
Like, I think I struggled the first couple of years.
00:37:51.411 --> 00:37:57.342
My first year back in the classroom after the pandemic was really hard, you know, and this past year was hard.
00:37:57.811 --> 00:38:15.181
But it's just that once I went through all those hardships and understood, what was at the other side of that, now that I've experienced that, I won't mind as much going through the ups and downs because I get where that all leads, you know, but it's very difficult when you don't know where that leads or if it's going to be what you thought it was going to be, or.
00:38:16.675 --> 00:38:16.985
Yeah.
00:38:18.195 --> 00:38:30.405
So, how do you think you realize, this is gonna sound weird, but how do you think you realize that you were finally in a groove where you're happy, And you're just confident in moving forward.
00:38:31.612 --> 00:38:35.632
Oh man, well, it's been a process for sure and it's not over.
00:38:35.632 --> 00:38:39.322
It's not like, Oh, I've reached the pinnacle and now I'm just coasting for the rest of my life.
00:38:39.344 --> 00:38:42.722
I understand there's definitely going to be peaks and valleys as they say.
00:38:43.242 --> 00:38:43.742
I get that.
00:38:43.815 --> 00:38:49.911
Now I have more of the wisdom and understanding to be able to navigate those in a more healthy, clear minded way.
00:38:50.492 --> 00:38:53.001
I had to learn myself and what works for myself.
00:38:53.001 --> 00:39:01.802
Like I said, last year was really hard coming back after the pandemic, after being virtual, being back in the classroom, the students had to learn how to be students again.
00:39:01.811 --> 00:39:04.152
We had to learn how to be in person teachers again.
00:39:04.532 --> 00:39:10.072
I was really struggling with managing my time because during the pandemic time was different.
00:39:10.081 --> 00:39:10.851
I had more time.
00:39:10.851 --> 00:39:11.652
We were all virtual.
00:39:11.652 --> 00:39:12.822
I had picked up a lot of.
00:39:13.161 --> 00:39:18.842
Additional jobs like tutoring and different things I could do when I was at home when I had more time and space.
00:39:19.262 --> 00:39:28.402
Um, and then I tried to continue all those things when I went back in the classroom and realized I couldn't juggle it all, but, and we've talked about this on the show before, but I couldn't just quit things.
00:39:28.402 --> 00:39:32.581
I had to slowly drop those things over time when they came to a natural ending point.
00:39:32.581 --> 00:39:49.722
So for me, going through the process of seeing what I can handle, what I can't finally, it's taken me this past year, finally, I didn't have all the side hustles and I had space to breathe and I could use any downtime that I had for myself.
00:39:49.744 --> 00:39:54.211
I'd started going to the gym after school, I started focusing more on eating healthy.
00:39:54.211 --> 00:39:58.431
And I finally had space to do that because I wasn't filling my time with all these side hustles.
00:39:59.132 --> 00:40:01.702
And I learned about setting boundaries on school.
00:40:01.775 --> 00:40:08.391
I realized I was putting so much pressure on myself to deliver these incredible presentations and things when really.
00:40:08.661 --> 00:40:09.911
You don't need to do that.
00:40:10.081 --> 00:40:12.512
You don't need to go above and beyond every day.
00:40:12.945 --> 00:40:15.132
sometimes it's just showing up is enough, honestly.
00:40:15.804 --> 00:40:17.211
Just being there for the kids.
00:40:17.222 --> 00:40:22.052
It's, I'm not saying I just show up with no plan, but I don't have to be super teacher every day.
00:40:22.641 --> 00:40:26.391
Sometimes it's just like being that stable, consistent presence for the kids.
00:40:26.391 --> 00:40:29.101
And it doesn't always have to be this.
00:40:29.527 --> 00:40:30.967
A plus lesson plan.
00:40:31.047 --> 00:40:33.456
It just has to be a plan and I have to be there.
00:40:34.019 --> 00:40:39.387
so I maybe lowering the expectations a bit while still having a high standard, but, not killing myself to do it,
00:40:39.835 --> 00:40:40.224
not
00:40:40.427 --> 00:40:41.617
boundaries on my time.
00:40:41.855 --> 00:40:43.284
for perfection, maybe.
00:40:44.266 --> 00:40:45.086
Yeah, exactly.
00:40:45.086 --> 00:40:50.686
And that's hard when you're a high achiever or perfectionist, that's hard, but realizing where is a stopping point?
00:40:50.980 --> 00:40:56.376
If it was seven o'clock in the evening and I knew I had to start winding down by seven 38, I realized you know what?
00:40:56.376 --> 00:41:02.146
I'm not going to make this extra activity because it's going to take me another hour and I need to start getting ready for bed.
00:41:02.166 --> 00:41:07.447
So just Cutting it off and maybe doing the have to haves not always the nice to haves
00:41:07.594 --> 00:41:07.974
hmm,
00:41:08.637 --> 00:41:09.777
nice to haves would be good.
00:41:09.777 --> 00:41:15.847
Like once a week, on a Friday, sometimes the nice to haves like a game or an activity I planned are good, but you don't need that every day.
00:41:16.476 --> 00:41:21.297
I realized I have to take better care of myself because I'm, I'm leading the show there.
00:41:21.297 --> 00:41:21.547
Right.
00:41:21.547 --> 00:41:28.947
So if I come in haggard and worn down and I didn't get enough sleep last night, or I didn't get to eat or exercise, I'm not going to be a good teacher.
00:41:29.355 --> 00:41:29.675
yeah,
00:41:30.067 --> 00:41:43.237
Focusing on myself is really what I think turned things around because I felt so much happier and starting to learn that I can use personal days, which I never did before.
00:41:43.237 --> 00:41:46.677
I'm a crazy person that I never used personal days until this past year.
00:41:46.677 --> 00:41:47.677
Like what was I doing?
00:41:48.250 --> 00:41:49.320
yeah, yeah,
00:41:50.746 --> 00:41:57.146
Yeah, but it was a process to get to the point where I realized how to manage things in a way where I can be healthy and still do a good job.
00:41:58.726 --> 00:42:01.077
And it's just a little bit of letting go.
00:42:01.139 --> 00:42:03.706
You don't always have to go like full speed ahead.
00:42:04.389 --> 00:42:04.719
yeah.
00:42:05.449 --> 00:42:08.340
I mean, that's, I feel like that's the hardest lesson to learn.
00:42:09.010 --> 00:42:11.019
Is dropping the perfectionism.
00:42:12.000 --> 00:42:14.170
Because, I still struggle with that myself.
00:42:14.170 --> 00:42:18.599
I want to do all of the things and I want to do them all at the highest level.
00:42:18.960 --> 00:42:20.739
But, something's gotta give, right?
00:42:20.789 --> 00:42:23.550
Cause, unless I'm just like never sleeping again.
00:42:24.139 --> 00:42:24.469
You know?
00:42:24.567 --> 00:42:25.646
Yeah, exactly.
00:42:25.679 --> 00:42:31.217
So I guess how I reached all this was just, first of all, this is the longest I've been in a job in general.
00:42:31.731 --> 00:42:32.181
Okay.
00:42:32.181 --> 00:42:35.742
Just to put things in perspective for how much I've gone back and forth over time.
00:42:35.775 --> 00:42:38.851
And I finally been in a job for four going into my fifth year.
00:42:39.465 --> 00:42:44.692
That in itself was helpful in having a consistent job, which is really what I was always striving to have.
00:42:44.702 --> 00:42:53.601
Like, It stressed me out whenever I would change positions because I knew I wouldn't be able to get that longevity in a position to really figure things out.
00:42:53.621 --> 00:42:58.637
It's very hard when you're constantly jumping around because you never get to the point where you figure it out.
00:42:59.186 --> 00:43:01.677
I mean, and you never truly figure it out, but you know what I mean?
00:43:01.699 --> 00:43:06.336
You start to understand or get into the rhythm of a job, which you can't do if you're only there short term.
00:43:07.277 --> 00:43:13.987
So I think one of the things was just having consistency going through something enough times that.
00:43:14.856 --> 00:43:18.157
I have more wisdom and that's how I feel in life too.
00:43:18.190 --> 00:43:20.157
So 40 is not scary.
00:43:20.166 --> 00:43:23.737
It's to me personally, way better than turning 30.
00:43:24.097 --> 00:43:26.626
I just feel so good.
00:43:26.847 --> 00:43:28.836
I wished I felt this way when I was 30.
00:43:30.179 --> 00:43:31.099
So incredible.
00:43:31.110 --> 00:43:38.010
Like, you know, makes me actually not worried about turning that myself whenever it's my turn.
00:43:38.077 --> 00:43:40.527
Really in the grand scheme of things, 40 is not that old.
00:43:41.418 --> 00:43:41.757
Really?
00:43:41.757 --> 00:43:42.318
It's not.
00:43:42.347 --> 00:43:50.597
And, it's an amazing thing to, to age in a way where you are entering every day with so much more knowledge.
00:43:50.619 --> 00:43:51.963
That's really refreshing.
00:43:52.554 --> 00:43:52.855
Yeah.
00:43:52.905 --> 00:43:56.135
So, Susan, we've been talking about, you turning 40.
00:43:56.474 --> 00:43:58.954
and it's a big, special birthday.
00:43:59.054 --> 00:44:00.795
So, what did you do to celebrate?
00:44:01.998 --> 00:44:02.248
Yeah.
00:44:02.248 --> 00:44:03.907
So I had the most amazing birthday.
00:44:03.907 --> 00:44:06.807
I went to New York with my sister and 2 of my best friends.
00:44:06.847 --> 00:44:10.068
Um, Whitney, of course, you're you're a best friend also, but you're not you're not local.
00:44:10.077 --> 00:44:10.427
So,
00:44:10.844 --> 00:44:11.295
I don't know.
00:44:11.385 --> 00:44:12.804
It's, it's a big problem.
00:44:13.065 --> 00:44:13.085
Yeah.
00:44:13.487 --> 00:44:14.807
Yeah, I know.
00:44:14.827 --> 00:44:15.387
I know.
00:44:15.427 --> 00:44:17.577
But we'll have to celebrate another time when we're together.
00:44:17.610 --> 00:44:21.097
I went to New York and I, you know, cause everyone talks about.
00:44:21.672 --> 00:44:24.882
Anytime it's a milestone birthday, you want to do big trip or something like that.
00:44:25.204 --> 00:44:28.112
and my friends and I had been talking about 40th for a long time.
00:44:28.112 --> 00:44:34.873
And every time we would get together, especially during the pandemic, when you couldn't go anywhere, we're always like, yeah, let's talk about what we're going to do for our 40th.
00:44:34.873 --> 00:44:37.802
And we would just dream up these biggest extravagant trips.
00:44:38.233 --> 00:44:42.293
But then when the time came, I'm like, yeah, listen, this trip doesn't line up with my bank account here.
00:44:42.293 --> 00:44:44.302
You know, I'm not actually going to go to Paris.
00:44:44.893 --> 00:44:50.963
I think you also just realize maybe, you know, this is another nugget of wisdom that I have is you don't need to do something extravagant.
00:44:50.972 --> 00:44:56.103
All you really need is the people that mean the most to you and just anything that's special to you.
00:44:56.132 --> 00:45:03.443
Like, I really love musical theater, whenever I go to a show or any kind of artistic experience, I absolutely love it.
00:45:03.474 --> 00:45:06.492
I've always wanted to do Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island.
00:45:07.432 --> 00:45:13.373
So in hindsight, maybe that wasn't the best thing to pick in the summer, which is peaks peak tourist season.
00:45:13.784 --> 00:45:20.742
Cause we ended up waiting in these insane lines the whole day, but I still really love that experience.
00:45:20.742 --> 00:45:23.443
It was very special to see the Statue of Liberty up close.
00:45:23.773 --> 00:45:24.612
She's beautiful.
00:45:24.849 --> 00:45:25.190
Mm
00:45:25.527 --> 00:45:27.898
Lady Liberty is everything I expected her to be.
00:45:28.300 --> 00:45:31.918
we took a ferry over to Liberty Island and I loved Liberty Island.
00:45:31.918 --> 00:45:32.927
It was so pretty.
00:45:33.400 --> 00:45:38.677
by that point after waiting in lines all day, we were very excited to get some Statue of Liberty lemonade.
00:45:39.800 --> 00:45:39.809
Mmh.
00:45:40.610 --> 00:45:40.980
Yeah.
00:45:41.132 --> 00:45:45.773
So, we enjoyed that, but every thing that we did, we had to wait in these long lines.
00:45:45.773 --> 00:45:48.822
We had to wait in security check to get to the Liberty Island.
00:45:48.822 --> 00:45:50.932
Then we had to wait in a line to get to Ellis Island.
00:45:50.943 --> 00:45:54.023
Then we had to wait in the line to get back, back to battery park.
00:45:54.023 --> 00:45:58.693
So I swear to you that I was probably waiting in lines for like five or six hours that day.
00:45:58.952 --> 00:46:01.773
It was like two hours for each line, which is crazy.
00:46:02.635 --> 00:46:05.893
I really feel like there was a problem with the return ferry.
00:46:06.704 --> 00:46:08.262
1 didn't come for 2 hours.
00:46:08.284 --> 00:46:10.842
Those ferries should be coming back and forth every 30 minutes.
00:46:10.875 --> 00:46:12.112
There was definitely something
00:46:12.750 --> 00:46:13.010
Yeah.
00:46:13.112 --> 00:46:14.532
not going as planned that day.
00:46:14.672 --> 00:46:16.233
maybe the ferry driver called out.
00:46:17.222 --> 00:46:22.452
I don't know, but that was a little much, all the lines and stuff, but.
00:46:22.777 --> 00:46:24.838
You know, I'll never forget that day.
00:46:24.838 --> 00:46:33.657
We, we joked that it was like the immersive immigrant experience because we were standing like sardines and these lines and the heat with people from all around the world.
00:46:33.708 --> 00:46:36.248
You know, um, we survived Ellis Island.
00:46:36.248 --> 00:46:37.007
We kept saying.
00:46:37.900 --> 00:46:38.469
Mm hmm.
00:46:38.514 --> 00:46:46.682
When we got back onto the mainland, on Saturday night, we kind of freewheeled it for dinner and found this nice Japanese restaurant and got some noodle dishes.
00:46:46.682 --> 00:46:49.413
And my sister got ramen Then we found a rooftop bar.
00:46:49.525 --> 00:46:51.572
It called the star child or something?
00:46:51.603 --> 00:46:55.222
I don't know, but we were on this rooftop for when it was.
00:46:55.503 --> 00:46:56.963
Turn midnight for my birthday.
00:46:56.963 --> 00:46:59.532
And it was just this beautiful glittering view of the city.
00:47:00.253 --> 00:47:03.532
And then the next day we, my sister and I went to church at St.
00:47:03.532 --> 00:47:05.632
Patrick's cathedral, which was really special.
00:47:05.632 --> 00:47:06.452
It was really pretty.
00:47:07.273 --> 00:47:14.032
And what better way to start out your 40th birthday than church, the cathedral, very sort of like heavenly experience.
00:47:14.172 --> 00:47:22.353
and then we had lunch at this awesome family style Italian restaurant called car mines rate and right near Broadway.
00:47:22.402 --> 00:47:23.972
Um, that was Amazing.
00:47:23.972 --> 00:47:25.592
The food was just to die for.
00:47:26.063 --> 00:47:28.643
And then we went and saw Back to the Future on Broadway.
00:47:28.643 --> 00:47:30.963
So that was just incredible, Whitney.
00:47:31.289 --> 00:47:39.445
Mm hmm Yeah, I, I keep thinking about Since you've Said that that was The show you chose like How is Back to the Future on Broadway?
00:47:39.644 --> 00:47:41.244
Does it translate to a musical?
00:47:41.862 --> 00:47:43.152
Yes, absolutely.
00:47:43.193 --> 00:47:47.532
So, right before I'd left for New York, I had gotten together with some friends in Philly.
00:47:48.525 --> 00:47:51.103
a little casual birthday celebrating before I left on my trip.
00:47:51.452 --> 00:47:56.842
And one of my friends is in the theater world and she had other theater friends who had been seeing different shows on Broadway.
00:47:56.842 --> 00:47:59.242
And she, I said to her like, Oh, how was it?
00:47:59.253 --> 00:48:03.353
Cause she said a few of her friends saw it and she was like, Oh, you know, they thought it was okay.
00:48:03.353 --> 00:48:04.762
They were like, it's just like the movie.
00:48:04.762 --> 00:48:07.137
And I'm like, Well, that's great because I love the movie.
00:48:07.137 --> 00:48:10.688
That's one of my favorite movies So I'm like, I don't care if it's like the movie, that's what I want.
00:48:10.760 --> 00:48:15.248
I want it to be like the movie, but she kind of seemed like a little like, Oh, they thought it was okay.
00:48:15.248 --> 00:48:17.708
And so I was like, all right, well, we'll see.
00:48:17.978 --> 00:48:19.907
But I thought it was unbelievable.
00:48:19.958 --> 00:48:22.938
It was, it was like the movie, but better
00:48:23.264 --> 00:48:23.635
Mm hmm.
00:48:23.818 --> 00:48:29.708
because it had songs and choreography and effects and Oh my gosh, the DeLorean, the DeLorean.
00:48:30.952 --> 00:48:38.362
Was amazing and actually flew, you know, how back to the future ends where doc is going ahead 30 years.
00:48:38.362 --> 00:48:41.422
And he says where we're going, we don't need roads.
00:48:41.483 --> 00:48:43.592
And then the DeLorean starts to fly.
00:48:44.342 --> 00:48:46.702
Oh my gosh, the effects were just incredible.
00:48:46.702 --> 00:48:49.103
The ensemble cast was so talented.
00:48:49.554 --> 00:48:51.413
We loved the lead actor.
00:48:51.422 --> 00:48:53.822
He was just so good.
00:48:54.112 --> 00:48:54.932
So likable.
00:48:55.264 --> 00:48:56.802
I just can't say enough good things about it.
00:48:56.802 --> 00:48:59.233
It was literally one of the best things I've ever seen.
00:48:59.934 --> 00:48:59.965
Mm hmm.
00:48:59.965 --> 00:49:00.565
Amazing.
00:49:00.815 --> 00:49:03.565
Well, I'm so glad that that was the show you picked for your birthday then.
00:49:04.277 --> 00:49:11.077
Oh, I knew as soon as I started looking for shows and I saw that it hadn't, it just actually came out officially three days before my birthday.
00:49:11.077 --> 00:49:12.007
So it was meant to be,
00:49:12.125 --> 00:49:13.324
It was totally meant to be.
00:49:13.688 --> 00:49:16.277
There was no question from the beginning that that's what I wanted to see.
00:49:16.277 --> 00:49:18.387
I just felt like this is what I'm doing for my birthday.
00:49:18.387 --> 00:49:19.777
This is exactly meant to be.
00:49:20.402 --> 00:49:22.802
Um, you just smile from start to finish.
00:49:22.802 --> 00:49:25.273
It's such a feel good, happy musical.
00:49:25.304 --> 00:49:28.472
I've been listening to the soundtrack nonstop since I left the show.
00:49:28.875 --> 00:49:30.112
I would love to see it again.
00:49:30.123 --> 00:49:30.552
Actually.
00:49:30.603 --> 00:49:32.313
man, it's, it was just so good.
00:49:32.355 --> 00:49:33.463
So much talent.
00:49:33.552 --> 00:49:34.672
So, so feel good.
00:49:34.672 --> 00:49:35.402
So happy.
00:49:35.483 --> 00:49:39.393
I had the best time and I could not have asked for a better birthday experience.
00:49:39.414 --> 00:49:41.353
Everything was absolutely perfect.
00:49:42.789 --> 00:49:43.409
Amazing.
00:49:43.449 --> 00:49:46.289
I'm so happy that that was your 40th birthday experience.
00:49:47.362 --> 00:49:48.233
Oh yeah, it was.
00:49:48.233 --> 00:49:52.623
And again, I, it just showed you you don't need to be in Europe or Cancun.
00:49:52.644 --> 00:49:57.393
I was two hours from my house, but was, still doing all these amazing things.
00:49:57.414 --> 00:50:03.242
I had the best people, the best food, the best show, you can do anything even in your own city.
00:50:03.293 --> 00:50:06.922
We always feel like we have to go a step beyond for our.
00:50:07.157 --> 00:50:10.748
Milestone birthdays, but you don't really have to do that.
00:50:10.780 --> 00:50:15.117
You don't have to always spend an arm and a leg for me, it was keep it simple.
00:50:15.117 --> 00:50:16.447
And that was just perfect for me.
00:50:17.014 --> 00:50:22.965
Yeah, no, totally works, keeping it simple is, one of the, life hacks of all time, right?
00:50:22.974 --> 00:50:25.672
I, I, like I said, I've been having the best summer.
00:50:25.672 --> 00:50:27.862
I'm just feeling so enlightened with everything.
00:50:27.862 --> 00:50:31.182
And I'm just hoping to continue riding that wave into my next year.
00:50:31.182 --> 00:50:37.032
And, you know,, things are not always going to be smooth sailing, but I feel like sort of a depth of.
00:50:38.152 --> 00:50:42.913
A depth of good experiences that's given me such a good platform to go forward from.
00:50:43.730 --> 00:50:45.070
amazing, I love it.
00:50:46.079 --> 00:50:51.860
Well, that's probably the best, line you could end talking about your birthday on, right?
00:50:52.952 --> 00:50:53.932
Yeah, it was great.
00:50:53.932 --> 00:50:57.603
I'm, I'm definitely still feeling, elevated from that experience.
00:50:57.625 --> 00:51:06.063
That's the best thing about birthdays is you set yourself up to have an amazing year and just try to continue riding that wave and stop thinking about how old you actually are.
00:51:06.085 --> 00:51:09.552
Maybe we need to stop thinking about I'm going to be such and such an age.
00:51:09.552 --> 00:51:11.273
Just think about what you are right now.
00:51:11.833 --> 00:51:14.182
And even when you are that age, it's really not that scary.
00:51:14.182 --> 00:51:17.117
You're still exactly the same person you were, just better.
00:51:17.690 --> 00:51:17.949
yeah.
00:51:18.690 --> 00:51:22.300
Well, for Nate and I, half the time we're like, How old are we now?
00:51:22.309 --> 00:51:27.329
Which is our, inside joke about we're getting old because we can't even remember how old we are.
00:51:27.329 --> 00:51:29.038
But I feel like we look the same.
00:51:29.038 --> 00:51:29.768
We feel the same.
00:51:29.768 --> 00:51:32.487
I mean, you know, you're constantly making tweaks to what works for you.
00:51:32.510 --> 00:51:34.068
I do feel like I need more sleep.
00:51:34.644 --> 00:51:41.282
You just have less tolerance for wanting to stay out when you just want to go home and relax and so priorities shift.
00:51:41.282 --> 00:51:42.603
And that's probably what people notice.
00:51:42.603 --> 00:51:45.802
They're like, Oh, I don't stay out as late anymore, but that's fine.
00:51:45.853 --> 00:51:47.663
Now you're just spending your time differently.
00:51:47.663 --> 00:51:49.693
It doesn't mean it's worse or you're old.
00:51:49.702 --> 00:51:52.603
You just might have different priorities and things you want to do with your time.
00:51:52.603 --> 00:51:54.222
And I think that's good and that's healthy.
00:51:54.900 --> 00:51:55.190
Yeah.
00:51:55.690 --> 00:52:00.630
Circling back to what we were saying earlier about jobs, you know, like, just comes down to your priorities.
00:52:02.108 --> 00:52:02.458
Right.
00:52:02.467 --> 00:52:05.947
And a lot of times it takes a while to figure out what those priorities are.
00:52:05.947 --> 00:52:07.967
And it's okay that you don't have it all figured out.
00:52:07.967 --> 00:52:14.358
I think if that's something I could go back and tell myself when I was 30, it's like, Hey, you're actually not supposed to have this figured out.
00:52:14.407 --> 00:52:18.188
This is very cliche, but it's not like there's a manual, you know?
00:52:18.210 --> 00:52:21.987
There is no benchmark that you're supposed to be at at a certain age.
00:52:22.413 --> 00:52:24.952
I mean, look at your veterans going back to school.
00:52:24.974 --> 00:52:29.432
If they would live by that, they, they think that they were unsuccessful and that's not true at all.
00:52:29.454 --> 00:52:32.742
Sometimes we just have different experiences for different reasons.
00:52:32.753 --> 00:52:39.563
Like Maybe they weren't in school when they were between the ages of 18 and 22 or whatever, because they were serving our country.
00:52:39.929 --> 00:52:54.277
and maybe I wasn't in this successful quote unquote successful job at a certain age because I still had to experience other things to figure it out, you know,, and you realize now looking back that those other experiences are what makes you who you are.
00:52:54.277 --> 00:52:58.947
That's why I'm at this level of enlightenment that I am now because I experienced all those things.
00:52:58.969 --> 00:53:05.487
If I had just stayed in the same job since I was 22, I don't think I would have learned half as many things as I know right now.
00:53:05.974 --> 00:53:07.264
Yeah, exactly.
00:53:07.454 --> 00:53:13.045
and you also wouldn't appreciate where you are now if you hadn't gone through that, those experiences.
00:53:13.054 --> 00:53:13.074
Mm hmm.
00:53:13.889 --> 00:53:15.780
the experiences are how we learn and grow.
00:53:16.409 --> 00:53:22.188
Everybody has, everyone has, a reason, of why they're in your life or every job has a reason.
00:53:22.188 --> 00:53:28.458
And, the more you can appreciate that instead of seeing it as a mistake, just seeing it as a stepping stone and a learning experience.
00:53:28.507 --> 00:53:38.007
Anyway, Whitney, I'm so excited for now that you're done with your work travel, that we are going to be jumping back on board here with some more episodes coming up in the fall.
00:53:38.030 --> 00:53:48.338
We're going to be having a dating episode in which I'm going to talk with a friend of yours about dating and we're definitely going to be talking more about the books that we've been reading this summer, things that we've been watching.
00:53:48.398 --> 00:53:50.427
So we have a lot of fun things on deck.
00:53:50.909 --> 00:53:57.650
yes, we do and I'm excited to be back in the routine of being home and podcasting with you
00:53:58.557 --> 00:53:58.918
Yes.
00:53:59.507 --> 00:54:00.228
Yay.
00:54:00.869 --> 00:54:01.340
Yay
