Speaker 1:
0:00 Now it's time to be dangerous. Now it's time to get risky. Now it's time to truly find out what you're made of and what you could achieve. Now it's time to truly find out how many lives you can impact. Now it's time to find out what you were destined to become.
Speaker 2:
0:15 Welcome back to Raw Minds. I'm your host, Eric.
Speaker 1:
0:18 And.
Speaker 2:
0:18 I'm Anthony, and this is episode 31. 31.
Speaker 1:
0:23 Is it? Oh, we did this math the other day and I totally forget. I know I can't. We always do that.
Speaker 2:
0:29 It's either 31 or 32. You'll figure it out in the.
Speaker 1:
0:33 It'll be on the description when the episode comes out Exactly.
Speaker 2:
0:36 It's one of those. We got a really good guest man.
Speaker 1:
0:40 Yeah, we do Go ahead. I was just want to say uh, how you doing good bud, I'm all right. Tired, yeah, but all right how about you?
Speaker 2:
0:51 well, I'm excited man. I'm excited for you to come down and see this side of the canada.
Speaker 1:
0:56 I guess yeah and we've got to fucking give you a hug bro we got this episode and then we've got one more next week, and then I'll be done hell yeah, I'll be done in a week and a half bro it's gonna be crazy wild man yeah man for all you guys that don't know, anthony lives in ontario.
Speaker 2:
1:11 I'm in vancouver, we've been doing this for a while but never met in person and he's flying down here um on the 29th and, uh, we're gonna have a good time man, we're gonna film that episode and we have, uh, another guest that's gonna come down and we're all going to be sitting on a couch finally. So I'm excited for that.
Speaker 1:
1:29 I'm interested to see what the dynamic is like when we're in the same room. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:
1:34 Yeah.
Speaker 1:
1:34 Like I don't think it's going to be like insanely different, but I feel like it's going to be a lot different than this. You know what I mean We've talked about it before where it's like we try to work out the pauses because we are virtual, but to do it in person is going to be super fun and super cool, for sure.
Speaker 2:
1:51 Yeah, very, very Well, I think I just want to say too, if you notice, my shit's a little slow here for some reason, as you can see, and I'm still fading in and out. So I got to take my computer and get this all sorted out. I don't know. I think my daughter put too much shit on my computer. I gotta get her her own so she stops touching mine. There you go, but on that note, we have ryan. He's a ceo and, uh, creative director of sendin, and he's all the way out in australia. I believe it is right, I don't want to.
Speaker 1:
2:21 I think he said new zealand. I don't know.
Speaker 2:
2:23 New zealand yeah one of the one.
Speaker 1:
2:25 two, he's going to get mad at us here, so we'll let him do that. There's controversy, but I don't know much about it. Bring him out and let him clarify for everybody.
Speaker 2:
2:33 Yeah, let's bring him out, man, you guys are the classic Mixing up Kiwi's to Aussies.
Speaker 1:
2:40 Dude every time we've had conversations about you, like leading up to today, we always said that we're like.
Speaker 3:
2:47 I don't know which one he's from New. Zealand, new Zealand New.
Speaker 2:
2:49 Zealand. Yeah, well, I forget. Now I can tell from your accent. So yeah, definitely.
Speaker 1:
2:55 That's not bad.
Speaker 3:
2:56 Yeah, can't wait for you guys to come out these ways, you know.
Speaker 2:
3:01 I don't even know how long that flight is.
Speaker 1:
3:02 That's got to be a long flight.
Speaker 2:
3:03 It'll be a full day at least, yeah, yeah, I think it's like 16 hours or something like that well, even the time zone change, like it's monday evening it's nine o'clock where I am on monday night, and what time is it where you are, ryan?
Speaker 3:
3:15 it's 2 11 pm on tuesday, so I'm in the future. Yeah, you are in tomorrow, yeah, so you can tell us uh, what?
Speaker 2:
3:24 what a lot of numbers are.
Speaker 1:
3:28 So again, no spoilers so so go ahead, man, go ahead. No, no, no, go. So, yeah, man, like, thanks for coming on. Um, we're super excited for you to kind of share your experience and and your story. Um, I'm kind of excited to have you on just because, like, we've had a conversation and I know what you do and we I think it was a couple episodes ago, I think it was actually just you and I, eric, the one you and I did where we were kind of talking about, like I'm kind of looking at getting off of my medication. So I feel like I personally am excited for this episode.
Speaker 1:
3:59 Just kind of get your perspective on that and, selfishly, I'll ask some questions along the way. And just to kind of get your perspective on that, and selfishly, I'll ask some questions along the way and just to kind of hear where you're at, man, so, yeah, if you want to just jump right in and kind of tell us what you're all about, what's going on in your business, we can start with that. Plug your stuff, man, go right ahead. Yeah, please do.
Speaker 3:
4:17 I'm currently in the live as well at Sendit. So Sendit is a social enterprise that funds young adults' mental health services and resources. We do that through hosting events, having a bit of merchant apparel like what you can see me kind of wearing today, and then doing media services for businesses as well. And all of these profits 50% of them all filter back into our charitable trust where we provide sessions to NLP practitioners, counselors, psychologists anything that young adults can't afford they can apply through our scholarship program and get it funded. So everything for me centers around impacting young adults.
Speaker 3:
4:50 Here in New Zealand we have some of the worst mental health stats and rates for the young adults demographic, which is severely struggling. So, coming from a background of lived experience and being someone who's been through the mental health system, who's been in a ward before and knows how what the right word to say like debilitating and devastating it is without like seeing a way out to live a better life my whole mission is to kind of come in and show people it is possible and to build a platform that allows that to happen in an easier way so people don't have to experience things that I experienced through my own mental health journey as well beautiful man.
Speaker 2:
5:24 I love, I love it, man. And what's your website? Let's show people your website up there. Senditconz.
Speaker 3:
5:29 So people always get the name mixed up. So I'll tell a little bit of a story about that. Back in 2017, when I founded Sendit, it wasn't the social enterprise that it is today. It was a secondhand clothing brand. I was trying to come up with a name with the designer name and design class, and I was spitting around with different ideas. And I liked the word transcended because it meant to like excel, do what you didn't think was better to transcend. I loved that meaning, but I didn't like the way and one of the concepts the teacher in the class, miss elms, had been telling us was you can break up words to make new words and at at the time, send it was really popular with like the Nelk boys coming in really hard.
Speaker 3:
6:07 But I didn't like the connotation yeah, true, I forgot they were Canadian.
Speaker 1:
6:13 Yeah.
Speaker 3:
6:15 That was really popular, but I didn't like the connotation so much around, like with drinking, so I took the tran of send it and made it send it as it is today and it kind of just built and progressed from there. It's about doing what you didn't think was possible and excelling to that higher space which is like a mental health journey that's awesome, beautiful man, that's awesome.
Speaker 2:
6:34 And your, your journey like we spoke offline, your journey and like what you did and like, uh, the festivals that you throw, it just it's amazing, from like where it started and now where you are here now, man, it's just, uh, it's incredible story.
Speaker 2:
6:47 Thank, you so do you want to uh kind of get in into a little bit more deeper of uh your story and yeah, of course and um, yeah, a little bit more, a little more in depth about you definitely so I think it's best to start at what I call the catalyst moment.
Speaker 3:
7:02 Typically I think people have an instance in their life where they either hit rock bottom or something huge kind of changes and they have to make a decision to radically change their life. For me that point was going through Starship Mental Health Hospital, which here in New Zealand is the youth mental health ward. So I was diagnosed with bipolar, put on a bunch of meds and really I thought this was kind of me for most of my life Through seeing more holistic professionals. I was fortunate enough to have a family that was open to these kinds of things. My mom had eczema, battled the health system, got tropical steroids and then went down a more natural path, seeing a naturopath.
Speaker 3:
7:40 I've always had to see a chiropractor from a young age. I've got compressed vertebrae in my neck and naturopath. I've always had to see a chiropractor from a young age. I've got compressed vertebrae in my neck and I found out later in life my lower back as well. So this opened that side of the health care system to me. So through seeing a chiropractor he could see I was in a real bad space and I was battling a lot and was coming out in my body as well.
Speaker 3:
7:57 He referred me to a kinesiologist, naturopath, who was a pediatrician for, like I, I think seven, seven to 10 years kind of bracket, I don't know the exact age a doctor in Hamilton called Steve Joe.
Speaker 3:
8:10 He got me, tested me for a bunch of things, got me on a real strict diet it was a candida diet. He picked up mold in my body, got me on all these specialized supplements and then, through seeing another specialist in Auckland who was a further qualified kinesiologist, we started to identify things I needed to do and change in my life. Combining that with seeing a psychologist counselor and getting active and being amongst like a gym culture, this just slowly managed to get me to progress, to feel better and better and better, to get a job, to then progress through this job, to then start this business, to then now doing send it full time, and it always heartens me that that isn't the normal. Most people just go oh, take your meds, go to therapy, take them for as long as the doctor says. I think you got to open to this other side of the equation that, yes, that works for some people, but it shouldn't be a be all, end all. Yeah, I agree, man.
Speaker 1:
9:03 I feel like we talked about this recently too is like the common misconception that I find with medication is like people have this preconceived idea that it's like take this and it'll fix it, and it's like that's not how it works For certain things like don't get me wrong, like antibiotics, they aid in helping your body repair itself. Right, it's an aid. It's an aid, it's not a repair system for your body. So, like I said at the beginning, I'm on antidepressants right now and I find I'm getting to a point where they're not. They work to a certain effect, but at the end of the day, it's my responsibility to make the decision to continue to make the changes and it's like if.
Speaker 1:
9:43 I need to know where I'm at in my body physically and I want to go get testing done. I want to get my testosterone, cortisol, all my levels checked, just to have a baseline of where I'm at so that I can make an adequate decision on where to go with my health, because I don't want to be one of those people as well who's just here's the medication. This is going to fix the one thing and then just live with it for the rest of your life and figure out the rest. I don't want to do that. I do believe there is a completely, like you said, other side that is a completely new realm of possibility. I don't want to call it new, but just something that's a lot more fuck. What's the word I'm looking for?
Speaker 1:
10:22 Undiscovered is an unresearched side of things that I feel like myself could be an advocate for as well, because one thing I've experienced in my life is through addiction recovery and 12-step programs is it's not like I went in there and they gave me a pill and said this is going to fucking change everything for you.
Speaker 1:
10:41 It was essentially a holistic, slash, spiritual approach to my life problems that worked when, no matter what I did outside of it didn't. You know what I mean. We have a saying. The last thing that I tried was the first thing that worked, and that was going in and believing in something that's greater than me, and it's a fucking wild concept and that's not what I ever wanted it to be, but that's what it became. You know what I mean. So if that can work to relieve me of something that was killing me, then having an open enough mind to approach my own mental health and wellbeing in the same way, there's no fucking way that it doesn't work. You know what I mean. It's undeniable to me. It's just getting the information beforehand so that I can understand where I'm at. If that makes sense.
Speaker 3:
11:29 Absolutely, and I think there's not a lot of information and communication about some of these alternative practices. I really don't like the word alternative, putting things in the camp. That's like, say, chinese medicine. For instance, I see an acupuncture Tai Chi master of 20 years for my back and it's great, absolutely relieves heaps of pain. Chinese medicine, in comparison to Western traditional medicine, has been around for thousands of years, thousands of years of practice that's worked, been trial-tested and implemented still to this day, versus modern medicine that's been here for a couple hundreds of years, yes, with more evidence and more backing, but time and duration still adds up you know you get all that backing to from it too, right, it's like over, like you said, hundreds of years, man, you know.
Speaker 2:
12:12 So it's, it's been through the test of time, definitely, you know. And then you got what vaccines that come out in like six months and you don't know what's going to happen. You know, and then look, there's a lot of people with side effects with that shit.
Speaker 1:
12:24 You know what the problem is, though, is Chinese medicine doesn't pay the doctors, and it doesn't pay the government. Yeah, exactly, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:
12:32 Death is one of the biggest moneymakers really, you know, and just health alone. I mean, I hate to say this, man, but the more people have cancer or like any type of medical thing that they got to take pills on, that's more money that the government's going to make. And I've said this before what is it? Dandelions are the best thing for your heart. They are like dandelion tea. They are the best things that you can take for your heart. And the same company that makes heart medicine also makes a weed killer. And what's on the label of the weed killer? Dandelions. So that just goes to show you, you know, wow, it's just money, money, money.
Speaker 3:
13:12 It is.
Speaker 1:
13:12 Yeah, if it's not going to fill their pockets, it's no good man.
Speaker 3:
13:15 And I think there's a big systematic problem in there as well with how people are trained and thought that this is the way, this is the end all, when in reality they're treating symptoms, not causes, is what I've found, especially with SSRIs and antidepressants. It's a big thing. I never had an experience with antidepressants, more mood stabilizers and then a few other types of medication, but yeah, similar approach.
Speaker 1:
13:37 Now, I'm not a doctor, but I've done a bit of research on SSRIs. I'm not on an SSRI. I can't remember what it is. It might be an SNRI, but from my understanding and, ryan, you might know more about this than I do but from my understanding, what an SSRI does is it like your body produces endorphins and you need so much to get through the day and dopamine and all this stuff. So what an SSRI does, instead of actually giving you more, it brings your maintenance level required down. So it's not actually giving you any more dopamine, endorphins, all the feel good chemicals. What it's actually doing is lowering your required limit so that you feel okay. You're not feeling great because you can't get up to the normal limit. So what it's doing is it's actually lowering it down to an acceptable limit. That's my understanding. But again, I'm not a fucking doctor. I'm a guy who used to snort coke for a living, so fuck.
Speaker 2:
14:33 Thank God, not anymore. Hell yeah. So what was it like? Weaning off of the pharmaceutical and then going into the Damn man?
Speaker 3:
14:43 How do you say it again, the?
Speaker 2:
14:44 holistic, holistic. I can't say it holistic, that's it wow.
Speaker 3:
14:51 So I didn't even notice some of the side effects I was getting. They were the immediate ones where I forget what medication I took, but I took it and then within 20 minutes I was on the floor like conscious, but just like the side effect was, my whole nervous system had just shut down and I was just like I'm not okay, this is not all good, and freaking out. But then my body not allowing me to freak out was the weird thing, because I was working myself up so much because I'm freaking out. It's making it worse and I couldn't actually express that feeling. That was one of the immediate thing I noticed before changing onto another type of medication.
Speaker 3:
15:25 And I should disclose first I think medication does have a place, even though I'm very much more holistic, focused down this path. There is a place for medication always, and creating a plan that works with your own individual needs is the best thing. But from my personal experience, if I can avoid a medication, I'm going to avoid it and go the complete other way and run as fast as I can. The biggest shock to me the side effect I wasn't aware of, maybe when I dropped my dosage to around half. That's normally the flag warning signs go up for most people when you half your dosage. I had a dream. Now I'm not getting like Martin Luther King in here but….
Speaker 3:
16:02 I hadn't realized for two and a half years, maybe a year and a half prior, I hadn't dreamed Not once. And I had the most realistic dream I've probably ever had in my entire life, where I woke up and I was looking at my hands, having like an inception moment, like is this real life? Because I hadn't experienced something like that for such a long period of time. And yet again, I'm not a doctor, but I know the importance of dreaming and how it's processing your daily thoughts and what's on your conscious. That dream just processed years worth of information in one timeframe that felt like I was in there for a month timeframe, to then wake up and be like no, this is real life now.
Speaker 3:
16:44 Complete shock, slowly building up and then, as the medication started to drop since I was on mood stabilizers my mood was extremely volatile. So as you come off, things typically go the other way. So instead of having a very dull, suppressed, very numb as people kind of express to call it feeling, I would start to go the other way, where feelings would come up that I hadn't experienced in a long time and I would get extremely emotional. Out with friends, out in situations I'd have to remove myself and I'd just start being overwhelmed and break down. I had to put up with that for maybe three, three, six months, got to a point where I was trying to tell myself I was okay. When I wasn't okay, I wanted to appear like the old Ryan was back and all my friends thought it was all good and everything was ticking off, when in reality I had so much unresolved trauma that I hadn't worked on. I just didn't want to feel the way I felt while I was on the medication.
Speaker 2:
17:38 You just put a mask on pretty much.
Speaker 3:
17:40 Literally, literally. So that led me to a near breakdown at a music festival, taking some drugs with some friends, and it just all became so much at the time and I had this snap moment where I was like, if I keep doing this, my life is just going to keep going back to where it was before, and it was a wake up call. And then after that I went six months cold sober and I realized before that I'd been going out once a week, twice a week, with friends, just drinking, acting like everything was okay, being a party person, being very extroverted there the whole time, when I hadn't dealt with what was really going on. I'd just taken the meds off and was just thugging it out, I guess. So then that started the journey of seeing a psychologist and working on those unresolved raw, because I hadn't really been able to tap into them or express them while I was on the medication. You see a routine therapist week to week when you come out of child and mental health services and then seeing I think they were a counselor at the time, I can't remember to just check in once a month, I think with a psychologist as well. But you don't know what you're feeling, you don't know how to express it, you just with a psychologist as well, but you don't know what you're feeling, you don't know how to express it, you just feel numb the whole time.
Speaker 3:
18:49 So then, finally getting to a place where I could tap into some stuff from the past and realize why I had kind of been wired the way I was just the perfectionism, all the people pleasing and all these different damaged inner child things I had to start working on. Started coming out and partnering that with supplements to boost my sleep, supplements for my joints, mental health like fish oils can be huge and fatty, omega-3s massive, and eating good whole foods, and then transitioning from combat sports into just gym for routine and stability. I just started to feel better and better and better and clearer. I would go to work and feel anxiety free. I wasn't stressing and worrying about what other people were thinking. I could just get my job done, became one of the best performers at the engineering workshop. I was working at running the laser machine that got me into another job and then send it.
Speaker 2:
19:39 Hell yeah, hell yeah.
Speaker 1:
19:40 So how did you find the transition from prescribed medication to the holistic approach? Like, how much time did it take up out of your day that you technically I don't want to call it free time, but you know what I mean like if you're on medication, you take a pill in the morning, you take it at night, you take it at lunch, whatever, but now the stuff you're doing requires a bit more time. So just like, for example, like me, I'm a single father with two kids. When I'm working, I work 50 plus hours a week. Like the one thing I've struggled with, just in my own experience, is making time for the gym. Because we do this. I'm a single father, I'm in recovery, I have a job, you know. So it's like I understand that sometimes, like life gets so much that you're willing to make the attempt to do whatever it takes to change your current way of living.
Speaker 1:
20:28 But how did you find, just for people, if they're listening, out of curiosity, how did you find? How much of a time management thing did you struggle with when coming off and taking the time to speak to therapists? That's the other thing, man. When I see my therapist, it's super hard because I work till five, six o'clock at night and she only works till five six o'clock. And she started taking Saturdays off, which is for her own personal needs, which I respect, but those were really the only days that worked best for me. So it's like how did you find how to fit all of this into your lifestyle?
Speaker 3:
21:00 Man. There was so much sacrifices, so on just a supplement stage, I was lucky to be supported by both my parents, being young at the time, so we were able to. They were able to drive me to places, take me into areas, and then it got to a point where I felt guilty about accepting their help. I wanted to be the independent young male, had his stuff together, didn't want to that stigma of wanting to burden someone with my own problems, I guess. So I started with when I would take meds. In the morning I'd take supplements as well, meds in the evening, supplements as well.
Speaker 3:
21:31 The thing that was the hardest was the diet. The diet was actually the hardest because there's the prep time that goes into it, there's storing it, there's making sure you eat everything in the right time and then avoid eating foods, which means if you're going to social situations with people and there's food you're not eating, that you can't eat that. For the period of six months I was basically on what felt like a cardboard diet. It was dairy-free, sugar-free, gluten-free. This whole period of time and that was probably the hardest thing about it the time to see a psychologist.
Speaker 3:
22:02 I had to take time out of work sometimes. That was the only time it was available. I just I had to take time out of work. Sometimes that was the only time it was available. I would work early and sacrifice my sleep to then finish a little bit earlier in my shift at the CNC job to then have a phone call, and then sometimes I wouldn't even make it to the appointment. We would do it virtually and I'd be like, oh, I'll be at home. And I have a distinctive memory of still being stuck in traffic on the way home and not having my video camera on in my car. So she didn't know, I was still like driving, driving home to have this happen.
Speaker 3:
22:33 I've done that yeah I've done that it's, it's sacrifices, man, and it's hard, really hard, to make that change and I don't want to discourage anyone from doing it, but you don't see the progress for such a long time until it just like you get this kind of click moment with things. The thing I always say well, my psychologist taught me this it's when we think bad about things that have happened in the past. It's and we get the shame, this like hateful feeling towards ourselves. We are feeling that because the person we are now would never do any of those things anymore. So it's actually a timestamp of how much you've actually grown and you normally feel even worse. You've had such growth in such a short timeframe. I think that was after maybe I want to say three, four months of seeing her. She kind of had that click with me and I just went whoa, you're so right.
Speaker 2:
23:26 And while this was going on, was this is this before you started your, your company? Or is this like in the midst of it? Or is this kind of faster?
Speaker 3:
23:35 Yeah, send, it was still secondhand clothes for this period of time. It started in 2017. That's kind of when my mental health journey started as well, and it just bubbled away selling op shop clothes and things I'd bought from like hype brands to get a quick markup on for all the way up until 2022. Until there, I'd progress through one engineering workshop job, powder coating job, and then working at a gate manufacturing company as their general assistant doing sales, logistics and admin work, which then set me up to start doing the events. We did more events. We got some funding. We did even more events. We moved into media. Now we're looking for more funding to expand and get to the next steps.
Speaker 2:
24:19 So we're going to start. So you were juggling your mental health at the same time as having this and did you find that it helped you as well, Like you know going on this journey, or did it add more stress?
Speaker 3:
24:30 It got to a point where it gave me purpose. Yeah, it was something bigger than myself that I was really like working towards After the first event. It was it was awesome 250 people. We fundraised two and a half thousand, put 20 people through. It was awesome. We fundraised two and a half thousand, put 20 people through. You know, couldn't afford it before and it was sunday, caught up with friends, hadn't really sat in sunday. I went to work, sat at my desk, loaded my emails up and I just went what am I doing? This like? This doesn't, this doesn't fill the box anymore. That was when I realized like the sender thing should have failed. There's no way I should have been able to organize an event like that in the time frame I had. This is the calling, this is the purpose, and I can impact so many people like myself through this vehicle.
Speaker 2:
25:15 That's amazing and I just want to say, if you guys look down there, if you click the link, that'll take you straight to his website. Check him out, show some love, check them out, show some love.
Speaker 1:
25:25 So, ryan, have you gone back to like a psychologist and been diagnosed with bipolar or anything like that since your first diagnosis?
Speaker 3:
25:33 So I worked with a private psychologist and I was always badgering her like am I autistic, Am I bipolar, Am I ADHD? She didn't seem to think so. Last year I had a period of burnout, firstly in the hospital and then secondly through the ward for the first time in five years, and there a psychiatrist tried to tell me I was bipolar. He was really just reactivating an old diagnosis. Fortunately enough, this time I wasn't in the wards and through the mental health system and medicated for a long period because I knew what I was up to. I knew how to progress off, I knew the diet, I knew what I had to do.
Speaker 3:
26:05 So it only lasted about a month and then three months I was off medication again. But I don't really like diagnoses as much. I think there's a value in understanding a treatment plan and how you should cater and deal with certain things you're experiencing, but from a more psychological route. Everyone is a real individual with their own troubles, their own battles and their own story. And if you're going to sit there and try and put someone in what I think is like a box with certain characteristics, it's kind of cutting out 80% of what the cookie cutter doesn't fit, when really, if you take that into consideration, you can come up with more creative options. That's potentially going to benefit someone way more than just taking medication and going to talk therapy well, and here's the reason I ask, because it's exactly like you said, I don't listen.
Speaker 1:
26:55 Some people need a word to put behind the reason they are the way they are the way, the reason they feel the way they feel. So I've, I've been diagnosed I couldn't even tell you how many times with severe depression and anxiety. So I know that's a real thing. But I feel like a lot of people today, and I'm just going to say, for simplicity's sake, autism. Now, the spectrum is so large that everybody at this point man, everybody has autism, you know.
Speaker 1:
27:26 But the majority of people I find utilize a diagnosis as an excuse for certain things in their life. You know what I mean Like. So if you've been diagnosed with bipolar, does that mean it's an excuse for you to be shitty to people? Not at all, and I don't think that's what it is to you. Same with me, like this depression, is that an excuse for me to just not completely do anything every day? No, does it make it harder for you to emotionally navigate things sometimes than a normal person? Probably yes. Does it make it harder for me sometimes to get out of bed and do the bare basics that I'm supposed to do every day? Yes, but at the end of the day it's a fucking choice to either do or not do those certain things. And I feel like society has just come up with this idea that if we give it a name, it's a fucking blanket statement for everybody to just do and feel the way that they are, but nobody actually wants to do anything about it.
Speaker 1:
28:19 Well, the doctor said that I have bipolar, so I'm not going to be good for these types of people. I have depression, so I can't come to work. Because today I'm not going to be good for these types of people. I have depression, so I can't come to work. Because today I'm fucking sad. You know how many times I've gone to work in a depressive episode. I don't want to fucking go, I don't even want to get out of bed. But that doesn't mean just because I have a depression, that doesn't mean the world stops fucking turning. You know what I mean. So I just find the diagnosis that people are getting these days are just like a fucking scapegoat get out of jail, free card for a lot of their life, because people are becoming a lot more comfortable just existing than actually going out and fucking doing anything about it.
Speaker 1:
28:57 So good on you for for doing it and handling it the way you handled it. And that's that's the reason I wanted to ask is because I've been diagnosed multiple times. But in saying that it's not like, I'm just like, well, I didn't pick my kids up from school today because I'm depressed, you know what I mean. Like I still got to get them from the fucking bus, I still have to go to work and it sounds like you handle it the same way. You know like you still have things going on and you know how to handle it right. And the other thing that you said and that I find with, like a lot of our guests and Eric, you can, you can touch on this too Everyone who comes on, I feel like the the light switch moment for them is they find purpose. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:
29:36 Like everyone comes on and says well, this is what I was meant to be doing, or or this fills my cup, and we've said that like. This fills my cup, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:
29:44 This is why we do that. Like this fills my cup. You know what I mean. This is why we do that.
Speaker 1:
29:47 So I feel like when people find that thing that fills their cup and makes them feel a certain way, then everything else starts to fall into place for them, or it makes it easier for them to work to achieve these things. I don't want to say fall into place, because I don't want to give false hope, because it's a fucking grind for everybody. You just touched on it, man, like you were burnt out and you had a mental crisis as a result of it. That shit still happens. It happens to all of us, bro. That's why we're here.
Speaker 2:
30:13 I want to touch on something. I'll probably get fucking in trouble for this, so you can send your emails to eric at rawmines, it's almost like adopting a victim mentality a lot of the times. With that too and don't get me wrong, I'm not, I'm not knocking. Yeah, I understand it's, it's hard. I mean I got depression too, but I mean that doesn't give me an excuse to say I don't have to do that. Now you know, and you're right, like I feel like a lot of people do adopt this victim mentality and they don't have to do these things because they are diagnosed as it. But it's no, it's, it's your. Just because that happened to you. Like do he says it's not your fault, but it's your responsibility to fix yourself? That's my take on it anyway.
Speaker 1:
30:57 Yeah what's your take?
Speaker 2:
31:01 yeah.
Speaker 3:
31:03 I think people can have a mental illness or a mental challenge, but that doesn't define them as who they are and quite often some of those exact mental health issues or mental challenges or triggers or whatever it is, can be the exact thing that pushes you to do even more. I always call it this like flipping the script moment for people. I've worked and do a little bit of coaching. It's not something I do a lot of, as being a very sympathetic and empathetic person, I can't take like switch it off or take it off, but I have done a bit of coaching independently, and something I worked with with a client is they were saying I'm depressed, I can't do this, I get stressed out and I'm like but you can do it, stressed and distressed, depressed and feeling like you're not going to do it.
Speaker 3:
31:54 That's your reason to do it. You get the chance to prove to yourself, even with these things, you can show up and you can just get out of bed and act like everyone else when you have this big thing behind you and, instead of it being that weight, it can be the fuel that keeps you pushing and keeps you moving through these starts and through these levels. And you have to start playing those, those mental games on yourself to keep pushing when it gets hard, because it does get hard and inevitably it might be easy in the initial part, but it will not always be that way and you have to find these little things to keep pushing and keep going, no matter what it is it's almost like a superpower.
Speaker 2:
32:24 That's what I say my adhd is. It's my superpower you. It makes me hyper-focused on a lot of things and sometimes I get a little too crazy and I get too deep. That's how I became a flat-earth guy is because I hyper-focused on that.
Speaker 1:
32:40 The other thing to remind people of, too, is it may be easy in the beginning, it may be hard, but whatever it is right now, it's also not going to stay that way forever as well. When I sponsor other men, they'll call me Anthony, life's so great right now. Yeah, that'll pass. Then they'll call me man, I'm going through this really tough time. This will pass too. Life isn't this fucking linear thing where it's like, okay, gone to therapy, I've done therapy, I've learned these things. Now, from here on out, everything is going to be fine. We're going to experience loss of loved ones, friends, relationships are going to change, new life is going to be brought into our lives. Like we're going to have children. Like I have two children. You know so that change. Like life is always changing right. Like if it's tough right now, it's not going.
Speaker 1:
33:29 This is the one thing in active addiction that I always used to tell myself. No matter how bad it got, I would always tell myself like it can't be this fucking bad for that much longer. And it never was. You know what I mean. And the things that I thought were going to fucking break me they didn't. You know, like the defining things, the emotionally defining things that I thought were going to destroy me. They fucking didn't.
Speaker 2:
33:50 You know yeah, well, it's hard, man. It is hard, you know, going through the whole thing trying to find yourself, trying to tackle these things. Let's face it, half the time well, actually 90 of the time it's from your childhood trauma and you got to go deep into that shit and you got to work with a professional that can help you walk through the like, walk down that line. But I mean, it is fucking hard. It's gonna get ugly, it's gonna get scary, it's gonna get sad. You're gonna go through all the emotion but at the end of the day there is light at the tunnel and as long as you put in that work and push, push hard and want to change, you know the thing is you need to want to be able to do it at the end of the day. Right, that's what. That's what it all comes down for yourself. A hundred percent, not for anybody else but yourself.
Speaker 2:
34:34 You know, and if you do do all those, you know there is light at the end of the tunnel and you will feel great. You know, and, like we said, not every. You're going to still have battles. Like you said, man, it's a roller coaster. Life is a roller coaster. Shit happens. You can't predict what's going to happen tomorrow. You're not Miss Cleo. You know shit happens, man. It's just a matter of you know, dealing with it and pushing forward and doing the right steps to take care of it. And it's okay to take a knee sometimes. Just don't stay down, that's all.
Speaker 1:
35:04 I love that. So, ryan, what type of tools do you use for yourself today, like flipping the script, I'm going to assume is one of them. Yeah, so like so what are some like common things that you're met with, Not on a daily basis, but like what are some of your challenges?
Speaker 2:
35:20 I'm going to cut you off there real quick, because before you came in, anthony, I was talking to Ryan and he says you got either two things Either you can feel nervous or excited about it. And he's like I'm going to feel excited about this podcast. Hell yeah, you know so right away, man, there's one thing perspective right.
Speaker 1:
35:38 Actually, before you answer that, why don't we touch on what the one upcoming guest that we have had said? Remember when we were talking to Stephen and he was talking about the Holocaust survivors? Have you heard the study that was done on the Holocaust survivors, ryan, where they took two groups of people and one was like a PTSD group and then there was a PTG group, so it's post-traumatic stress disorder group, and then there was a post-traumatic growth group. So it was two different perspectives on the same situation. They were both Holocaust survivors and at the end of their life everybody had said the same thing, but they had worded it different.
Speaker 1:
36:10 So the PTSD survivors, when they came to the end of their life, they had said things like I wish I didn't work so much and I wish I had spent more time with my kids, whereas the post-traumatic growth group same experiences. They went through the same horrible shit, but the post-traumatic growth group said things like I'm so glad I didn't work any more than I did so that I could spend more time with my family. So it's all about perspective. I don't give a fuck what happens in your life. Terrible shit is terrible shit, but the way you perceive it is what matters. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:
36:42 I did some horrible things in active addiction. I did things like I put my kids in situations they should have never been put in. But now I get to put my kids in situations where they know they can feel extremely safe. And I live through those experiences so that they don't have to. And if they choose to, that's up to them, but they always know where to fucking go if they need help. You know what I mean. They're not optimal, the ones that I went through, but I lived through them so that they don't have to. That's one saying we have in recovery man like I share my experience so that you don't have to live through it, so I can tell you what it was like living through it yeah, breaking the chain too, starting to break the chain out there I love that so yeah, like what kind of tools are you into?
Speaker 1:
37:20 like what do you use? Like what's your?
Speaker 3:
37:21 okay, the first thing I kind of touch on that I think flows into what we're saying here with perspective, how I kind of think about life and how we work is kind of like this like it's a cube right.
Speaker 3:
37:32 It's obviously not a cube, but I try to think of it like this, and each of these different points on the cube are like triggers or traumas or things that are there in life. And as you start to go through life, you're like rolling and it's very clunky initially with these triggers and traumas and everything that's going on and you start to get the idea why don't I work on this? So sand it down, sand it down, you work on it. And as you keep going and working on these triggers and traumas and things that pop up as you keep rolling, you start to get smoother and smoother and smoother and roll through easier. But you still got to put the work in. So the bigger process I kind of take on my own life is where's the pointy spot? You know where it is.
Speaker 3:
38:15 There's always an area where you're like I just don't like doing it. I'm. Is it your procrastination? Is it I need to get to the gym? Is it I need to diet? One of the things always causes more harm than everything else and double down on it. Try not to do too many things at once and then shift your perspective around it to say, okay, this is the challenge, this is what's going to improve everything else first, it's just doing this one thing and focusing on that Early on.
Speaker 3:
38:42 I would try to do heaps of things, heaps of things. I would try to do heaps of things, heaps of things. Prime idea was last year trying to do media, business, merch, events, content, coaching all the stuff. You're juggling too much. You can't sand every area at one time. It's more focused to do one thing. Um, so focus is the big one. Number two is like how you position yourselves on things, as you're saying before nervous, excited. Same feeling, exact same feeling. Something I've recently gotten into is norwegian death, diving god's aim. Absolutely love it. Am I absolutely petrified the whole time? Yes, wait, wait, wait. What is this? Norwegian death, diving death.
Speaker 2:
39:25 Like jumping off a cliff, yeah.
Speaker 3:
39:27 So instead of like cliff jumping, where you go feet first, death diving, you jump and you're like this, going down towards the water and then at the last minute, you tuck in, like this and you take no damage.
Speaker 2:
39:40 I've seen that I didn't know what it was called, so you're into that now.
Speaker 3:
39:43 Yeah, very much into it Hell yeah.
Speaker 2:
39:45 Just recently. I did a 25-meter jump Biggest jump so far Before, that was like Hell yeah man. Yeah, I've got the video coming out soon. There you go. How did that make you feel after doing that?
Speaker 3:
39:58 It's the fastest way to enter the flow state. There's nothing else. I've kind of experienced like it being an adrenaline junkie. There's nothing where you can just jump and then all those voices, all those worries just go and you just have to focus on land properly.
Speaker 1:
40:15 I was going to say I feel like you don't have a fucking choice in that moment. Yeah, Fuck.
Speaker 3:
40:20 Literally, I was hyping myself up to do this jump for about five minutes, battling these thoughts of you're going to get hurt, you're not going to be able to do it, all of these things are coming in. And then I just went. I knew as soon as I started counting I was going to be able to do the jump. So sometimes when we want to change a habit or get something in there, so for me I had a fear of heights.
Speaker 3:
40:42 I would have never thought growing up I'd jump off something that high, let alone in this style of jumping. That's why I wanted to start doing this, because I know where the fear is, or where the hardest point of the cube of your life is where you're going to get the most growth for yourself. I started jumping off cliffs and that battle I had to have with myself of I'm going to get hurt, I'm not going to be able to do it, something's going to go wrong, and all this stuff to just drown it out and be like no, I've got this, I can't get that from doing anything else. So finding and actually seeking out those things that you're kind of scared of or you don't think you can do is where you'll get the most growth in other areas as well did you?
Speaker 2:
41:18 did you find that you're like talking yourself out of it before you even jump? Were you? Were you like, like, like you said, like I, I can't do it, but were you really like, even like days up to to the jump? Are you talking yourself out of it?
Speaker 3:
41:32 right before, because we always do a like a health and safety check. We check where the landing zone is, check the depths, is it going to be safe? Is there people in the water to make sure, if something does go wrong because things happen in the in the sport that people are there to get you out of the water safely. We went over and checked the water. I looked at it and my gut was like no, you're not doing that. We went up to the spot. I got the drone recorded some shots. I was like I don't feel like jumping. I saw the first two guys jump perfectly fine, and I had this realization that I was like if I didn't jump, I'm not going to get another opportunity to do this thing. I didn't jump. I'm not going to get another opportunity to do this thing. This is my chance to prove it to myself that I can do it. And then it was battling that inner voice of doubt and fear to then eventually start the countdown, throw the rock to break the impact zone and then jump.
Speaker 2:
42:20 That's what you have to do is throw the rock to break the impact zone, so you start the ripples. Cool man and you know what? That's what you're doing in life too, and that's what we're doing. Is we're making that ripple effect, man, so?
Speaker 3:
42:31 throwing the rock.
Speaker 2:
42:32 So I just want to touch on so I've said this before in other episodes as well is the biggest thing too is like when, when you're going to go do something and this, this um, attends to everything in life is when you're scared to go do something. So guy goes, goes to go, he's going to jump out of a plane. So he's at home, he's getting ready to drive, he's driving to the airport and he's like I can't do this, I can't do this, what am I doing? This is scary, I can't do this. You know I'm gonna die. What if my parachute doesn't open? You know, blah, blah, blah. He gets to the place, you know, he's all suited up, and then he's in the plane now and he's like I can't do this, like this, it's not going to happen, I can't do it, I can't do it. By the time that he jumps and lands, he loved it and he just, you know, created this whole story and fear in his head, you know, before, not even knowing what's really actually going to happen. And that's the biggest, biggest problem a lot of people have is, you know, they create this fear when reality, you know, you had a great time, it was something for you, it was healthy. As long as it's in a controlled environment, obviously Right. But it's about breaking that fear and not listening to yourself sometimes, when you know, throwing the negative thoughts in your head and it's a huge thing that that that happens and that's just like you know.
Speaker 2:
43:51 Going to a new friend group, a new friend group, you know, you, you're getting away from all these people that are just no good for you, you know. And you go into a new friend group and you feel uncomfortable, right, but uncomfortable is good. A lot of times you know change is good but change is uncomfortable, you know. And you, you, you hang out with these bad people not necessarily bad people, but you know it just wasn't good for you. And then you go into this new friend group, you got one foot in, one foot off and you're.
Speaker 2:
44:20 A lot of times people will be like yo, like this is not comfortable for me. I'm not used to this. Like you know, this is, this is not my comfort zone. And a lot of time people step back and they go back to what they're used to. And that's also in relationships, too huge in relationships. But it's a matter of getting through that comfort zone, you know, and then realizing hey, this is actually not bad. I got a lot of good, I got a lot of good. You know, relationships I met from these people Like it wasn't actually that bad. You know, like I said, it's all about your mind. The hardest battle that you're ever going to face in your life is with yourself, in your head. It's a true story, man, every fucking day, man. So I'm really curious about a little bit more of your business and what you're doing for the community. I'd love for you to plug a little bit more and, if you got some stuff upcoming too, to push out there.
Speaker 3:
45:09 Yeah, so if you're placed in New Zealand in the next couple of months, we're going to be having youth mental health first aid workshops running. So I recently got upskilled in youth mental health first aid. So anyone who works primarily with the 11 to 18 age demographic so we're thinking teachers, parents, clubs, coaches, anyone in that kind of space we'd love to hear from you and get you in on this workshop. The workshop really teaches you fully evidence-based by TAPO, which is a huge mental health organization here in New Zealand, to how to approach, assist assist in any mental health crisis. So if something pops up in a child 11 to 18, a young adult, you know how to help them and get them the help they need. So we've got those workshops coming in the next couple months. Send us an email, we'll put you on the list. I haven't even advertised this workshop but we've already like halfway sold it out me and the co-facilitator.
Speaker 2:
46:00 So it's amazing man.
Speaker 3:
46:02 It's a bit overwhelming, yeah.
Speaker 1:
46:08 But yeah, that'll be coming. Sounds like you probably need to book some more dates already.
Speaker 2:
46:10 Yeah, brother, and you can guys find that in the description as well. All that information will be in the description. Um, reach out man. This is in new zealand, not the other one. Yeah, so if you guys are out there, you hit, hit him up, man, hit ryan up and let's, let's change, change some people's lives and and help help the youth man, because, at the end of the day, that's the future. You know, we got to take care of the youth and and protect them. They're the ones that's going to be taking care of us when we're sick.
Speaker 1:
46:37 They're going to be changing our diapers and watching us in the bath, and hopefully not so what would you say are your biggest challenges, like nowadays, challenges, now focus, is always a big one.
Speaker 3:
46:51 I'm very much the ideas oh, we could do this, we could do this and like many things going on, streamlining and having the direct process, and that also involves saying no to lots of things, which is something I find the hardest with people.
Speaker 1:
47:03 You said you're a people pleaser.
Speaker 3:
47:04 Yeah, yeah, yeah when someone comes to me like I want to get this business idea up and off the ground, like can you help me? Actually having the the power to say no to some of these opportunities has been really liberating for a lot of my time. That's the big one. So focus in deciding what I'm doing. And then the other thing that I also find hard is being able to put myself first and then so I know what I need to do to keep myself good Eat, good food, talk to people about what I'm going through, journal, take my supplements and get good sleep. Soon as I start compromising these things, something else starts to fall down in my life Prioritizing those above all else and the people and the energy and the time I spend in the right spaces is kind of how I have that protective bubble around myself when I'm doing this work. So boundaries has been huge. And the third one let's just skip my mind, it'll come back to me.
Speaker 1:
47:57 That's all good.
Speaker 1:
47:58 I will say it is to maintain yourself and the self-care that you need for yourself is extremely difficult, and I'm famous for that too, man. There's been times where so for me, my recovery Friday nights I need to get to my meetings and then I talk to other people on the phone for my recovery stuff throughout the week. But it's so easy to just fall into a very basic routine every day wake up, get my kids on the bus, go to work, do my job, come home, feed my kids, go to bed. You know what I mean, and there's been times I had to take a month off of work one summer because the things that were keeping me well were the things that were becoming a chore in my life and it didn't feel good. You know what I mean. Like my meetings, like I have to be there every Friday. I just have to, and everybody in my life knows it. Eric knows it. He doesn't call me on Fridays at certain times because he knows I'm busy. That's important to me because that's what keeps me well and keeps my sanity about me when it comes to addiction and stuff like that.
Speaker 1:
48:59 One summer it became a chore. I would get home from work at 6.30 and then I'd have to be the next town over for 7.30. And it's like, well, fuck, now I got to go home, I got to shower, I got to shove some food in my kid's face, then I got to get back in the car, go back to the next town. Then I got to sit there for an hour and it's like I need this. This shouldn't feel like a chore. It's not a good thing for it to feel like a chore, like this is self-care for me, right?
Speaker 1:
49:24 So I took a time off of work. I said, listen, I just need to get back on track. And that's what I did, man. I was traveling to meetings everywhere, I was speaking at meetings, I was sponsoring people, like taking people through the work, you know. And then it got back to that point. But there was a moment and I realized it in that moment that it was becoming a chore and I don't ever want it to feel like that again. And since that moment that was two and a half years ago it's never felt like a chore to me ever since. You know what I mean. So, being mindful of what's important to you and your values and, like you said, being able to set boundaries and say no. Saying no is a hard one for me too, man, like that's what I was a people pleaser.
Speaker 1:
49:59 If you tell me what you want. It makes it so much easier for me because now I don't have to fucking think If this is what's going to make you happy, I'll just do it. I don't care what it costs me, I'll just do it because I don't value myself. At this. At a point in my life I didn't care enough about myself and what I needed. So to completely flip the script, if you will. It's really hard to put yourself first after you've spent so many years putting others and their needs first. So saying no because it doesn't align with where you're at, or it just maybe it just doesn't logistically work at that time, and that's okay. But the other part of it, too, is just saying no and not justifying as to why you're saying no. You know what I mean. That's a big one too, like, not everything needs to be a long outdrawn conversation, it's just no, I'm sorry, I can't. You don't have to prove anything to anybody. If it's for your own mental well-being, just unapologetically do what's best for you, right?
Speaker 3:
50:55 Yep, I love that phrase. It's the unapologetic authenticity. And fuck everyone else. You have to run it that way Don't put a persona on, don't try to be someone else, and all the things that you just bring into your life from being inauthentic are inauthentic things you don't really want. Having been someone that's been down that path before it's not fulfilling it doesn't fill the cup.
Speaker 1:
51:17 it's miserable, if anything. Isn't it exhausting, too, to uphold these different versions of yourself, like once I learned that I was okay to be who I actually am? Like it felt like there was so much fucking weight lifted because it's like, okay, I don't have to be this certain person when I'm talking to Eric and then be this certain person at work and then be this certain person around my kids. It's like I can just be me and the people who actually love and appreciate me for me. They're not going anywhere. The people who don't love and appreciate me for me, they had ulterior motives the entire time and that's okay for them, but that's got nothing to do with me. You know what I mean. I'll give you an example. So when I went to rehab back in 2021, I'm not sure if I've even told this story on here, but I had severe people-pleasing tendencies. That's what I was. I was a people pleaser to my fucking core when I was in treatment the girls one night, because there was like 14 of us there that I can't remember how many females there were but they're like we're going to do our nails. So we're like, fuck it, we'll paint our nails too. So we painted our nails and when I got out of treatment I knew that people pleasing tendencies that I have and I work construction I'm a pretty rough around the edges kind of guy. I was like you know what, fuck it, I'm just going to keep painting my fucking nails until I don't give a shit what people think about me. And that's what I did the very first day I went to work.
Speaker 1:
52:35 After I got out of treatment I went to some guy's house. He's like. I got to ask you, man, what's with the fucking nails? And I'm like I'm glad you asked. I is exactly why I'm doing it, because I have a major fear of judgment and I'm a huge people pleaser. So the fact that this is making you uncomfortable it's making me uncomfortable and it's almost like exposure therapy. So thank you for calling me out on it. And that's when I stopped giving a shit dude. And then I started getting tattoos in unnecessary places, like on my head. I've got the whole back of my head done, got my hands done, my whole throat done. I just stopped caring what other people thought. And have I lost a lot of people along my journey of?
Speaker 3:
53:10 not giving a shit.
Speaker 1:
53:11 I wouldn't say. I've lost a lot of people. The values didn't align anymore.
Speaker 3:
53:17 And then I became no grew yeah.
Speaker 1:
53:18 Yeah, the values didn't align and I became okay with not having everybody in my life. If there's one thing I could teach my kids, it's like the people who you're friends with in school. Right now they're they're not gonna fucking matter in five years from now like, don't waste your and my kids are pretty good at it and me and their mother get along really well. So we try to instill that value and I'm like friends are great, but like don't define yourself because of what your friends think. So that's that's my take on people, pleasing and fear of judgment.
Speaker 2:
53:47 Yeah, it's all about boundaries, right, and you've learned going through all that. You know that little. I guess you could say it was an experiment. I guess, yeah, In a sense right, yeah, and it was a tool that you used to overcome, you know, the judgment of others.
Speaker 1:
54:05 Yeah, good for you, though, buddy. Thanks, tony. Good for you, though, buddy. Thanks for you. What color? Oh, black for sure. And then my middle ones were silver all the time. I actually painted them. I went to a concert last week. I fucking painted them. I was like shit, I haven't done this in a while. It was a metal show, so, like, obviously I wasn't the only one there but, I'll still do it for shit like that, hell yeah I want to read this quote.
Speaker 2:
54:22 I think you guys will appreciate it life is already and I don't want to be around people who make it even harder.
Speaker 2:
54:29 I need people who feel like home, who bring comfort, calm and a sense of peace. That's the kind of energy I need in my life. Great, 100%, it's true. Man, you know you are who you hang out with at the end of the day. You know you're going to hang out with people that are always down. They're going to suck that energy out of you, you know. So, on that note, you don't want to be around those type of people that it's just while you're in your life changing.
Speaker 2:
54:58 I'm lost for words here. Now it's my turn, Ryan, your journey. I guess you know what I mean. You want people. That's going to bring you up, you know. So, if you are going through your journey, evaluate who you have in your life and it doesn't mean that you can get like. You know, tell them, fuck off, never talk to them again. But you know, focus on your shit. You know what matters and take care of yourself and create those boundaries. So what. You know they go out, out. They're going drinking. You think you're gonna miss out having a hangover the next day. Fuck, no, go home work on yourself.
Speaker 2:
55:35 You know, that's what's the real, the real journey the real battle is I got a stupid fly flying around here, but yeah, um, do you? Do you think it's time for the question?
Speaker 3:
55:40 I have another. Yeah, I remember what the final point was, so I'll add that in and then oh sorry yeah, the final thing that I've had'll add that in.
Speaker 3:
55:47 Oh sorry. The final thing that I've had to learn and this was probably the hardest thing, that required me going through burnout and all the way to the ward last year to actually realize this is you actually need to accept help. There gets to a point where it's not that you want the help. You actually need to surrender and be like, okay, I need help. Yeah, you get to that point where you're like doing as much as you can, pushing everything, you have to allow other people to help you. Because we get to this frame.
Speaker 3:
56:17 Like me, I'm a perfectionist. I love being in control of everything, so everything has to be done right. So it's all ticking off and like I've got this routine, it has to be perfect. Letting someone in to help you with that and letting go of some of that control. When you've been on this journey and you're starting to get these little breakthroughs, one of the hardest things, but one of the most essential things at the later kind of stages I found mid later stages of a journey is doing it with the right people and understanding who's the right person to do it with, but also actually bringing the walls down and letting someone help you with that process. It's hugely fundamental, I think as well, definitely.
Speaker 1:
56:54 I've said it before, man, nothing changed until I was willing to accept the help. I did whatever I could within my power to a certain point in my life and eventually it just got too much and then I needed help. And when I actually shoved my fucking much and then I needed, I needed help, and when I actually shoved my fucking pride and ego aside and accepted that help, that's when things really started to change and learning that help is okay and it's not a knock on your ego, it's not a knock on your pride. Everybody needs fucking help at some point, sooner or later. Well, that's a great fucking point. Thank you for making that. Definitely, and as, as men too, you know, we don't like asking for later, well, that's a great fucking point.
Speaker 2:
57:27 Thank you for making that point and, as as men too, you know we don't like asking for help, right, that's the. The biggest thing is, you know, I'm fine, I got it. It's okay, you know, you bury that shit but then that's when shit happens, man, you know. So, like you said, we have to, you have to reach out for help and it's just a matter of no, no, it's all good, it's just.
Speaker 2:
57:46 I'll say it's just a matter of you know, feeling, getting to that moment. I guess you know sometimes it takes a lot to to get to that moment and it's usually your, your make it or break it. That's when usually we start reaching out for help. But we got to start reaching out for help before that. We lost too many brothers out there, definitely to suicide, just on that shit, you know.
Speaker 3:
58:06 So look out for your brothers and sisters look out for the people in your in your space 100 it's weird that we have that stigma or that like ego around getting help as well when it's something that's like two minds always going to be better than one. You're going to have more ideas, you're going to be able to collaborate in a better way if your interests and purpose align on something. So we don't know why we still have that kind of I'll figure it out. It's sweet, it's faster to do it with someone else. Sometimes the lone path can be good, it can be liberating for some people in some situations. I'm not going to deny that. But most of the time, sometimes a different perspective or just a companion in the journey is all we really need. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2:
58:49 Or like Joey was for me, he's just someone to hold space. You know, we didn't even talk. I just needed someone to sit there beside me just to hold space. That was it. And help can be different types of way. I mean, we have Jenny in our chat right now and she does sound baths, you know, and that helps. So that's for you, jenny. She's coming on our podcast here soon, but check it out. Sound baths too. You know, it's like there's all these different types of ways that you could reach out to help yourself. You know it just doesn't have to be counseling. You can try other things. You know there's so many different things out there. You just got to find what works for you.
Speaker 3:
59:26 Yeah, you can listen to the Rural Minds podcast.
Speaker 2:
59:28 Hell yeah, you can, hell yeah, we love that.
Speaker 1:
59:31 And if you're on the other side of the world, you can reach out to Ryan.
Speaker 2:
59:34 Yeah, definitely. Well, I think it's getting that time man.
Speaker 1:
59:40 Question time. I'm going to ask a new one first.
Speaker 2:
59:44 I was actually going to talk to you about this eric, but I I never got to fuck, then you don't have to talk to me so what's your definition of home, ryan?
Speaker 3:
59:51 that's a really good question, anthony.
Speaker 3:
59:53 Fuck, yeah, it is man, I'm blown away right now, wow okay, a lot of people think home is a place, some people think home is a person. I think it's a feeling. I don't think of home as this physical thing. I think it's when you go somewhere, whether you're with someone, whether you're alone, and you just have this feeling of safety, comfort and serenity, kind of all at the same time, and you feel almost at peace with what's kind of going on. Myself, coming from a home that was very explosive, let's just say say is the word I'll go for I didn't really feel at home. Even like where I am now with family, the city doesn't feel like home. But there are instances with people and instances when I just feel aligned with the passion and aligned with the purpose and it all kind of doesn't matter. Those are the little instances where I think I'm at home.
Speaker 2:
1:00:42 I feel at home right now, brother, me too, 100%. This is what, for me, this is home. You know doing this, paying it forward, pushing it out there, making the ripple effects and hopefully changing lives and having great conversations and meeting amazing people like yourself all around the world. You know what better thing to do on a Tuesday for you than a.
Speaker 2:
1:01:05 Monday for us. You know what I mean. It's magical man. Without this podcast, we would have never met you. Without your journey, you would have never met us. Everything happens for a reason that lines, and when we come together and do these magical things and want to help people, what better thing to ask for? Right there, I just took goosebumps. Second question what's your message? Here it is. What's your message to the people?
Speaker 1:
1:01:26 what, what better thing to ask for right there, I just took goosebumps. Second question what's your here? It is, what's your message to the world? In one sentence, two heavy duty ones, just to finish her off for you, yeah, a message to the world just send it there you go yeah I love it, fuck.
Speaker 2:
1:01:39 Yeah, I love it man right well you want to? Uh, you want to. We're just getting to the end here, but you want to plug this shit out of your stuff one more time, man, for everybody, yeah.
Speaker 3:
1:01:47 So check us out. Tiktok's the main platform I kind of use At SendIt. Check out our website, senditconz. Send me an email If you're someone who's a passionate mental health advocate or you've got a story that wants to be shared or you think you can connect with SendIt. I'm always just a messenger or an email away to check Awesome, beautiful.
Speaker 2:
1:02:08 Well, I just want to say thank you, man. It's, it's been an honor. I was awesome meeting you. You know your family now. So, like we say to all our guests you're fucked, we're part of your life now.
Speaker 3:
1:02:14 So too bad.
Speaker 2:
1:02:16 Yes, but yeah, man, I mean I would love for you to come back um and and talk about more stuff that you got going on and and maybe after even these workshops, you know, and push that out. We'd love to have you back. Yeah, yeah, and I'll just find out more of of your story, of what you're doing in the future here for everybody.
Speaker 1:
1:02:36 Maybe we will do that. Maybe we'll have you on back out after your workshops, because you said that's a couple months, right, yeah, a couple months. Yeah, I think that'd be great if we got you back on after and you kind of let us know how that went and like what you found throughout the process of running that and how it all went. I think that'd be great yeah, so we'll stay in touch and we'll get you back on in a couple months for sure oh yeah, man it's been a pleasure, I just want to say thank you, man, like it's.
Speaker 2:
1:03:01 I have so much honor and pride for you, for you to come out here and and you know talk about this and be a vulnerable man and push this out, man it's, I have a lot of respect for you to do that and we, we respect you and love you, man, for that. So I just want to say thank you for giving us the time it goes both ways, eric.
Speaker 3:
1:03:19 Like there are a few people I've met that hold platforms like this with such value to the people who are going through it, and this is a real special thing. You've got going with raw minds and it's great to be a part of the family and I can't wait to see where it goes thank you, thanks, man.
Speaker 2:
1:03:32 Thank you appreciate that. Well, we got some stuff coming up here. Um, in the future I just want to touch on this we're doing a hoodie giveaway. Anthony, this is your baby. If you want to, you want to. I don't want to step on your toes.
Speaker 1:
1:03:44 Go for it if you want.
Speaker 2:
1:03:46 We are doing a hoodie giveaway. It's valued just over $300. But you don't have to pay for that. We want to give that back to all of you listeners. Whoever is the lucky one that wins that, we're going to work out the details here pretty soon, as soon as we get the hoodie. It's in the works of getting made right now. So when that pops up, just keep your ears perked. Let's just say that Keep your ears perked for this giveaway and hopefully you win the hoodie. We forgot to touch on that at the start, man, and if you guys want to get ahead of the game.
Speaker 1:
1:04:21 The details of how to win are going to be coming out pretty soon, but I will tell you right now. If you want to get ahead of the game, go follow Matt apparel on Facebook and Instagram. It's shop Matt apparel I think that's the name. Yes, it stands for make a difference. They're a great brand and we align with their their goals as a company and brand as well. And they're looking at building a treatment center in 10 years. A hundred percent of building a treatment center in 10 years. 100% of their proceeds once they pay, obviously, their stuff 100% of their proceeds goes towards funding that treatment center.
Speaker 1:
1:04:54 So give them a follow, because that will be one of the requirements is to be following them. And also, if you're listening and you want to be a guest on our show, feel free to drop us an email at rawmindspodcastgmailcom. Give us a little bit of your story and we'll connect with you. We'll set up an interview and then we'll book you in for an episode. It's that easy. If you're struggling, don't hesitate to reach out to us as well and hit us up on YouTube. Follow us on all social media. It's RawMindsPodcast. It's one little button click, but to us it means the world. We'd really appreciate it and check out our Discord as well. Eric's pumped up a Discord and our website at rawmindsca. We have resources there for anywhere in the world that you are the link's in the video now For anywhere in the world. There's crisis intervention stuff there and all of our episodes are up there as well.
Speaker 2:
1:05:37 Yeah, phone numbers for everywhere in the world. We put it in the resources. So that's pretty cool man.
Speaker 1:
1:05:42 Pretty proud of that.
Speaker 2:
1:05:43 Well, thank you, Ryan. Are you selling clothing too?
Speaker 3:
1:05:48 We have a line coming out at the moment. I can't say when, but if you're in the community you'll get first access to it, and then we'll let the wider community know as well.
Speaker 2:
1:05:55 Hell, yeah. Well, when that happens too, man, let us know. Shoot that over and we'll throw it up on our site too, man, to help you out. We're all about paying it forward and helping each other. Man, that takes a village right, so please don't forget to do that.
Speaker 3:
1:06:09 Yeah, wicked.
Speaker 2:
1:06:10 On that note, I just want to say thank you everybody. Appreciate you all. Hopefully I get my camera sorted out because it's super slow and I stopped disappearing here for next episode, but we'll figure it out, whatever.
Speaker 1:
1:06:23 Yep, one more episode before I fly out. Mr ESQ Hell, whatever.
Speaker 2:
1:06:26 Yep, one more episode before I fly out Mr ESQ, yeah, yeah, all right All right, Ryan. Well, I just want to say thank you again, man.
Speaker 2:
1:06:30 It's a pleasure and we'll definitely have you back on Cause we want to know how your workshop went and we'll push that forward. And for anybody else, if you guys want, we can. After we stop the, if you want, we can open up the boxes and I don't know, people can chat for a little bit, if you're up for that or whatever. We'll figure that out anyways. But on that note, I want to say once again, ryan, thank you.
Speaker 1:
1:06:52 Thank you.
Speaker 2:
1:06:53 Anthony, always love your brother, love you too.
Speaker 1:
1:06:55 Love you too, boys, both of you.
Speaker 2:
1:06:57 Bye. There it is.
Speaker 1:
1:06:59 We'll be right back.
