Not separate, not the same w/ Sebene Selassie

Where do you belong? What does it mean to belong? This is a big question for creatives.

I'm talking to Sebene Selassie: writer, teacher, and speaker who explores the paradoxes and possibilities of belonging through meditation, creativity, and nature-based practices. Her book You Belong is one of those rare texts that holds the spiritual and the social together without flattening either.

We talk about the difference between belonging and fitting in, and the question that haunts a lot of creatives: when am I translating, and when am I disappearing?

We accidentally invent several metaphors in this conversation, including one about orchestras that I will now be using forever. We also get into: the paradox that we're not separate and we're not the same, how to know when you're in the wrong room without making it a moral failure, and what silence has to do with finding a voice that actually feels like yours.

This one is thoughtful and funny, and if I did my job right, you'll feel something in your body while you're listening.

In this episode

• Why belonging and fitting in are not the same thing — and how confusing the two costs you your voice

• What it means to "translate" yourself for a room, when that's a gift, and when you're disappearing

• The orchestra metaphor that neither of them saw coming

• Why the inner work / outer work divide is a false binary

• What silence has to do with finding a voice that actually feels like yours (and why ease in creativity is not the same as not doing the hard things)

Waypoints

[00:00:00] — The belonging question 

[00:04:00] — Sebene's journey with belonging 

[00:08:30] — When am I translating, and when am I disappearing?

[00:20:00] — Not separate, not the same: the central paradox 

[00:33:00] — Silence, stillness & the voice that's already yours

Resources

• Secret invitation

• Sebene Selassie's Substack 

• You Belong by Sebene Selassie 

• Sharon Salzberg on the healing being in the return

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