The Question We're Not Asking About Domestic Violence with Liz Ortenburger

Liz Ortenburger is the CEO of SafeNest, Nevada’s largest and most comprehensive nonprofit addressing domestic and sexual violence, and a thought leader reshaping how the world understands, prevents, and responds to abuse. For more than two decades, Liz has been at the forefront of advocacy for women’s and children’s safety, bringing both urgency and vision to a field long constrained by reactive solutions.
At SafeNest, Liz leads a multi-million-dollar organization that delivers a fully integrated continuum of care—including emergency response, prevention education, housing, legal advocacy, and offender intervention—designed to disrupt cycles of violence at their roots. Under her leadership, SafeNest has expanded beyond traditional service delivery to address the broader epidemic itself, forging strategic partnerships with law enforcement, policymakers, healthcare systems, and community leaders to align public policy with the lived realities of survivors and families.
Liz is known for challenging conventional narratives around domestic violence. She believes that lasting change requires a fundamental shift: from punishment to prevention, from survivor-only solutions to system-wide accountability, and from silence to truth-telling. Her work calls for confronting long-ignored root causes of domestic violence and including abusive partners in the path to meaningful intervention and healing—while centering hope, safety, and long-term impact.
A Ph.D. candidate in Public Policy and Administration at Walden University, Liz’s research focuses on policy analysis and the social construction of abusive partners in public policy. She holds an MBA from IESE Business School in Barcelona and a bachelor’s degree from California State University, Fresno, where she was a nationally ranked track and field athlete and cross-country team captain.
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00:00 Intro & Episode Overview
02:11 Meet Liz Ortenberger (SafeNest CEO)
03:09 Liz's Career Path: Girl Scouts to SafeNest
05:11 Why the Focus Shifted to Abusers, Not Just Survivors
06:14 Why 70% of Survivors Go Back
07:54 Leaving Means Divorcing Your Whole Community
09:59 The "Fire-Breathing Dragon" Survival Metaphor
10:41 Mecklenburg County Case Studies
12:31 Why Teens Normalize Abuse
13:37 "He Has to Square Up on Me to Know He Cares"
15:18 Pornography's Impact on Kids & Consent
17:36 Modeling Healthy Relationships for Kids
20:37 Domestic Violence and the Church
23:36 Why Women Need Men Less (and What Men Must Offer)
24:59 "Why Didn't She Leave?" — The Wrong Question
25:52 The Anger Scale: Proving Violence Is a Choice
29:38 The Link Between DV, Mass Shooters & Cop Killers
30:53 Can Abusive Men Actually Change?
32:12 Substance Abuse & Batterer Intervention Programs
34:23 MAGA, "My Body My Choice" & Cultural Backsliding
36:22 The Mike Tyson Example & Excusing Abusers
38:17 "Hurt People Hurt People" — Childhood Abuse Cycles
40:57 When Abusers Snap: Real Case Stories
43:01 Post-Separation Murders & Guns
45:22 Red Flags When Starting a New Relationship
46:24 Googling New Partners & Early Warning Signs
50:57 Love Bombing
51:52 Resources: National Hotline & SafeNest
52:16 Closing Bible Verse & Sign-Off