speaker-0: you can't there's no way for you to make up the stuff that you're talking about right now. Like there's just no way for you to imagine and like make up all the images and all of the feelings in the body. So in my world this is just as real maybe probably more real than you know my water bottle that's in my hand right now. Healing for Grown Us Adults is a no bullshit podcast for people who are ready for real transformation. Hosted by me, Myra Holtzman, somatic psychotherapist, psychedelic medicine enthusiast, and embodied mystic, this show cuts through the fluff and gets to what actual healing requires. If you're tired of recycled coping skills, spiritual bypassing, or surface level wellness advice, this is where the real work begins. Each episode blends somatics, trauma education, nervous system science, psychedelic medicine, and grounded spirituality to help you grow the hell up emotionally, reclaim your body, and step into your power. No shortcuts, no toxic positivity, just deep, honest conversations for people who want to heal for real. If you're a grown-ass adult ready to do the work, welcome. Welcome to the Life Mystic Podcast. Today I have the most illuminating and luminous Alexandra Friedman as a guest with me today. There's so much we're gonna dive into. I'm so excited to see you, Alexandra. Alex for short. so let's just dive in. Tell tell the listeners who you are in this moment and or who you are in the world.
speaker-1: Yes. So I think of myself and call myself a social artist. ⁓ I'm a creator, community builder, ⁓ healer, and enlightened being, but when it comes to how I am giving service and making even more light, it is so the social artist.
speaker-0: Yeah, let's unpack that. I love that. Can you break it down? What's a social art? What does being a social artist mean? Since this is one this is one of your offerings. What's that mean?
speaker-1: Yes. So for what I've discovered and just a little backstory, for a long time I've been creating community, helping people learn how to connect. And I thought that I was trying to mix this in as like this is a business. This is very structural, but it never felt like a business to me. It always felt very like intuitive and very much like I was creating a way for people to connect in unique ⁓ ways that help them. feel a more of a connection to themselves and other people in a way that was maybe outside of the box, not just these prompts. And over time I kept creating and inventing these new ways for people to connect and meet each other. And I realized I was actually doing a practice, an art practice called social art, which is actually something people study and learn how to do, which is how can I help people unite and connect around something that maybe is from a kind of an artist mindset versus something that is necessarily a construct of what we have in, you know, Western culture or whatever culture. And so social artists became such a way for me to feel seen and allowing me permission to alter and switch it and how I'm going about helping people connect in a way that felt more like an artistic expression that I was curating and help people experience. Yeah.
speaker-0: Whoa, dude, you just blew my mind with that. So, listeners, just in case you might want to go and look this up on YouTube and watch the interview. And the reason why I'm saying that is because Alex and I are very similar in that we can be very gesticulative. And already, as Alex was talking about what she does, the movements in her body are very ⁓ compelling and also integrated in my world. And what that just means is it's such a clear expression of who you are. So I really appreciate that. So listeners, if you can go watch, it's worth watching. So tell us about I always ask this question, what are a what was a pivotal moment or pivotal moments it can be in your life or in the recent past that have really helped shape who you are today as a social artist and offering what you do to the world?
speaker-1: Yeah, th like you said, there's so many. ⁓ but for as long as I remember, ⁓ I've always felt like maybe a little bit outside of the box. ⁓ I've always felt a little bit different. And perhaps that's also my age of you know, being ⁓ an elder millennial. Some of the millennials feel like they don't fit in and like they're meant for something different. But I I Have always kind of felt like my brain was working differently. I always actually struggled in school. I always felt like I was wanting to do a self expression that was more on the fringes. I always felt like I was trying to fit in, but never quite could in most of the things that I did. And ⁓ although I was really creative and venturing into these, they never seemed practical. They never seemed realistic. ⁓ It wasn't until my mid 30s. that finally that was just kind of this a feeling of really just deep loneliness, even with an immense amount of friends, supportive family, ⁓ and health and all the things that kind of keep you keep felt like it was like good things to support me in my journey, I still felt this sense of loneliness. And in I think just even thinking about being in this downtown high rise with this beautiful view, with this impressive tech job, and and keeping myself busy with international travel and fun, fashion, and things that all honestly are amazing things, it still was just this inner depth of loneliness. And I think it was just finally feeling like I'm sick of this story that I kept telling myself. And I'm sick of feeling like this has to be the way it is. And I think initially I thought it was because I wasn't meeting the right people that maybe I wasn't having the right conversations. That I ⁓ was spending time doing the wrong things with the wrong people. And so initially I started creating dinner parties to help heal that. And that's what launched the business. However, what I'm just kind of coming to, even in I'm talking to you, is the fact that I actually feel that probably in that moment ⁓ what was happening is not even a true belonging to myself and who I was. Or am and that this longing, and I kept outsourcing it and outsourcing it and outsourcing it, trying to find it, find it, find it, find it here, create it, do it. That really just this longing of a feeling of sense of belonging within myself and not feeling like the outsider that I was seeking, you know, permission to be myself, and maybe to this day still seems to be the journey. But I do remember kind of looking out. this beautiful downtown view and like just like this dramatic thing of my hand on the window and just like, gosh, if only I could just find myself, if only I could just find the right people. Whoever I surround myself with is going to, you know, the five people I surround myself will have such an impact. But really and that might be true, but I had lost or doubted the sense of belonging to myself for my Whole life at that point. And it's still something I'm constantly having to remind myself to come back to. I'd say that was like a very big turning point for me. And every time that I do things like ecstatic dance or every time that I have gone and done any kind of psychedelics, I realized that time, it never that my true self never went away. It's never mad at me. It's never saying I'm behind. It's always been within me. It just needed the the kind of moment to be uncovered. And I think. And I feel that with a sense of belonging, that la or feeling lack thereof always comes back to I wasn't feeling a sense of belonging within myself. I wasn't truly accepting it. I was trying to outsource it constantly.
speaker-0: Preach. I'm having a moment of deep appreciation for you and how simply you could state that you didn't have a sense of belonging with yourself. Because in my world, and you know this too, when you don't have a sense of belonging to yourself, it's really hard to belong anywhere else. Like it's just it's it's really, really difficult because un until you have that lived experience. So one of the things I'm curious about is Was there a moment when you got that experience, like a pivotal moment when you got the experience of like, ⁓ my God, I belong to myself? I'm actually like, like, I own myself, I'm with myself, I'm inhabiting myself. Was there a moment that comes up for you?
speaker-1: It's like, in all honesty, Myra, like little frozen moments in time of ⁓ little tastes over my lifetime where perhaps we could say it was to some people, whatever they believe in, right? A higher self. For me, it's it is like the higher self coming in to give me little moments of reminders. I say more a consistent one is when I do ecstatic dance. and I'm really able to feel a sense of belonging and self-expression in a way that somehow doesn't come out in the day-to-day in the same way. It ⁓ and that sense of belonging, it also comes out ⁓ when it's just such almost like a like when I have done ⁓ psychedelics or I have done ⁓ a lot of ⁓ you know parts work in IFS and channeling. I do a lot of channeling. ⁓ where I feel a sense of belonging, like it's all within me moment, and it's just constant little whispers, constant little reminders throughout my life. And it's if I'm still on that journey of walking with them, and I feel as though, although I don't think there is, I feel as though maybe I will one day arrive and meet them all, and we will all be living together. But every time I meet them, whether on the dance floor. whether on laying on the floor with psychedelic experience or ⁓ or whether it is just like ⁓ s in an awe of a moment, something beautiful, they have never not been walking with me. Yeah. It's just enough of a release of my ego and the world influence and the to do list and anything else that comes in as a protector to ⁓ to distract me from it.
speaker-0: Yeah. Yeah, I can really relate to the idea of belonging to yourself in the midst of ecstatic dance or just dancing in general. You know, when we're living in our 3D lives, there are very we are actually very limited in our movement patterns. We're lifting, we're sitting, we're standing, we're laying down, we're getting up. And when you move the body, and this is a pro tip for all of my all of the listeners. When you start to move your body in non-traditional ways, so running would be a very traditional way, right? Lifting are still traditional. What I mean by traditional is these are practiced movements that maybe you've been doing for all of your life, right? When you move in non-traditional ways or fluid ways, like ecstatic dance, and your body is actually leading you, that makes the difference between having an agenda, I'm gonna run for four miles, with to all the way to what you're talking about, which is I'm gonna show up on the dance floor and then And this is what it's like for me. Like, what does my body want to do in response to what's happening around me, inside me, as well as with the music? So it's a very holistic experience. And it's just a great way to know thyself, quite frankly. Where I'm really curious right now is how you came to this sense of belonging to yourself with psychedelic experiences. Because as you know, I'm a psychedelic practitioner and I do integration work, I guide clients in journeys. So Any any psychedelic journeys that have been really pivotal, maybe they've all been pivotal pivotal, but can you talk about some of your journeys and the gifts or the insights or the benefits that those journeys or a journey gave you?
speaker-1: Yeah. So it probably let let's rewind a little s a second for this experience. And let me tell you that there was a moment when I'm laying on the ground thinking I'm about to die, ⁓ inside a yurt, ⁓ in the you know, sacred valley of Peru. And I'm thinking and I'm and I'm like ⁓ screaming. by the way, and scared that if I will fall into the depths of whatever's grabbing me, that I will die. And I'm thinking, I pay for this. How did I
speaker-0: For this.
speaker-1: Now I'm gonna think I'm gonna die. And ⁓ I was fighting it, but how did I get there? Now, everybody has their own timing of this journey. ⁓ I wouldn't say that I was like a good girl, but I'm actually not a drinker. ⁓ I don't smoke. I'm you know, a recreational like marijuana user in the sense of like a responsible quote unquote like Do it if I don't have something coming, you know, to do the next day because I get the hangover. I and and what some people might identify as kind of like, well, then what's her vice kind of thing? But ⁓ I do ⁓ at that time, I was in my ⁓ late 20s, ⁓ at that time had only done marijuana. And for some reason this voice came to me ⁓ about ⁓ ayahuasca and was like, you have done nothing other than marijuana, let's just take you to the the next end of of IA and now I know Aya kind of calls to you. they say, and it sounds weird, but one day it just comes into your head and and it's a very soft whisper and it's curiosity. I was living in San Francisco. I, you know, for me the journey of love has been basically, you know, I feel like we all have one really big thing of focus in in our life, often comes back. And for me, love has and can And was a continued one. I've so I was kind of still feeling that lack of sense of belonging and and loneliness. And so I went to Peru, ⁓ not knowing, not having a really big intention necessarily, just other than like I knew she was calling me, mother, grandmother Aya. The first time I did Aya, and this was ⁓ now just over 10 years ago, and I'm 43. So it must have been in my early 30s. and
speaker-0: That's right.
speaker-1: that I went and I didn't really know what I was doing and like, you know, I was scared, but really not super intentional. I did the dieta, which is the the diet before, but didn't really wasn't intentional on some other things, perhaps, but still pretty quite intentional. And I was that girl. I don't know how to explain it other than saying, you know, that girl or that person at a party, sometimes I was that girl, that person at the Aya. I was Screaming, I was scared. I was talking out loud the whole time. and I was fighting it. I mean, fighting it, and I was absolutely petrified. And anybody who's listening, please don't let my experience I now real realize. ⁓ I was just fighting. I I had such a strong grip on control that I was so scared to let go. And ⁓ here I was laying to like two handsome, like men in their early twenties and I was like self conscious as it was because I thought this was I thought for sure we were gonna fall in love after they saw me puke and all the you know for sure these these people were be she's no one right but I had to let go of control and I'm not saying it all happened in that moment but in the in the ⁓ there was support in doing it and I really had to just kind of let those insecurities come up and let them be part of my experience. ⁓ I I I wanna say all of this, Myra, because It was a the hardest thing I've ever went through and also the most enlightening. You know, I got so many downloads. ⁓ I journaled all about it. The integration was not very good at that program in retrospect. ⁓ now my experience was scared and hard, but and so I thought ⁓ that that's how it was. I thought that's what I was supposed to experience, lots of suffering in order to get the reward. That has been a trend. In my life. Now I think that's from epigenetics. I have a Jewish background. It doesn't entirely feel like mine, but the suffering to earn softness is part of what feels like something that just is really deep. And so I was like, look at all that suffering I did. Then I came out on this other side so euphoric. I had 10 years of therapy. I feel so free. I came back lighter. I was like, I'll never need to do it again. thank God I did it so early. And then ⁓ you know, in between then there was some other psychedelic maybe mushrooms ⁓ and even my first time with acid just like two years ago. But I all of a sudden got this calling from Aya late last year. And was like, Me? I thought we de did this already. I'm already enlightened. You I've already reached the pinnacle, you kidding me?
speaker-0: So of course she tapped you on the shoulder and was like, ⁓ you need to come, woman.
speaker-1: She's like, Biach, you have no idea.
speaker-0: So I just want to pause for one second and just talk a second. So, you know, for anyone that's listening that is interested in ayahuasca, likely you've already been tapped on the shoulder by grandmother. And my experience is similar in terms of it's a whisper. There's a whisper, there's a curiosity. And I also just had like like probably three or four months ago, I was sitting, I don't know what I was doing. It was nothing important. And then I got this whisper, and the whisper was, you need to come. And I knew exactly I knew exactly who it was. And this is what I said. I was like, I don't want to. I don't want to come because my first ayahuasca experience was really similar to yours. It was a lot of suffering, a lot of purging. It was a lot of, you know, I definitely experienced ego death. And so when she called me, I mean, I'm even as I'm talking to you right now, I'm quaking in my boots. And that doesn't mean I can't do the call. It just means that I've been tapped to come back and maybe learn some more things. So I just wanted to mention that. And then there was something else that you said. I can't remember now, so we'll come back to it. But so you just got you just got called on by grandmother again in the recent past. So pick up from what you're left. Yeah.
speaker-1: Yes, and echoing what you said, Maya, like ⁓ the soft whisper and then you know there's purging, but I guess we hear that about Aya and people's experience and there's like this fear associated with it, I think. And the second time she called me, it was a much, much different experience. ⁓ and I and it was also set up differently. you know, and I know there's a whole market of kind of the economy behind some of these retreats, which is controversial. So I'm sure you talk a lot about doing your, you know, research ⁓ and really liking who you're working with and who who are the people providing the service, where, where is the, you know, I from and and and all these. But after that was, you know, now I know those kinds of things. but ⁓ this one was different. It was three ⁓ ceremonies. And there was a very strong support on integration. The integration is what I had was missing last time. ⁓ so when I got the whisper, ⁓ and it was more like ⁓ it's time to come back. I knew exactly where to. There was one conversation with a friend, they told me what they did. It was and I and I didn't even research any other place, which for people who know me, I can be not always decisive about something. Then that one wasn't even, I didn't even question it. And it was a little pricier one, but it was with like other heart-led entrepreneurs. It was a little bit more fancy. things you do not need to do, but I did. it fell on my birthday, which is ⁓ a holiday, New Year's Eve. And so I was like, this is and one of the ceremonies was on my birthday. So I just felt like everything was aligning. And so The first ceremony was on my birthday. and I'll tell you this my second experience, and we're talking all three ceremonies, were so different. I thought I was doing something quote unquote wrong, because let's wind back and remember the suffering. The suffering part, I thought
speaker-0: Suffering part, yep.
speaker-1: Suffered the time I did it before. I'm really good at suffering. Let me suffer again. And I I don't know how common this is. It didn't purge once.
speaker-0: Interesting.
speaker-1: All three ceremonies. And I was like, it was the softest experience for me. And I had two servings. Yeah, not gonna say it wasn't hard. There was still like the same uncontrollable. I remember feeling like, you know, the feelings I had of like scared and grasping like like I did the first time, but there was a lot more self-soothing for me this time, a lot more like there was gagging and and other way and I there was ways of release, ⁓ not just purging that happened the next day and crying and things, but there wasn't the same suffering. And every time my instinct went up to grasp to call someone over to help me, which I'm sure they would have or maybe they wouldn't have, my whole process was you are here on an anniversary of all the things you've done in the last 10 years and the tools you have learned and you are going to be okay and we are And I'm here to show you that you can hold yourself through the scariness. And I th that I and a big lesson, a big takeaway for me was you don't need to suffer.
speaker-0: You don't need to suffer. Hello.
speaker-1: You don't need to create suffering or experience suffering in order to expand, in order to live the life, a beautiful, softer life, which is what I've been calling in a you know, sweet honey, slow, oozy life. You don't need to first suffer in order to get there. and that was a big part of my I didn't go, I kind of went in there. I ate like a lot, trying to think I was gonna lose some weight with all this purging. I was like, Girls gonna come back looking fit, right? And I I was going to town, you know, I followed the dieta, but you can still go to town on the dieta. So ⁓ but I did no, I didn't purge, and it doesn't I wanted people listening like purging or not, ⁓ it doesn't make my experience any less. That was what my experience was, a big part, about little the lack of or or not needing to feel like I need to suffer in either in order to. be able to ⁓ come into the softening and the sense of belonging. And it was during those moments of deep, deep gratitude for all my parts just really soothing me. I mean I literally saw Maya ⁓ Aya ⁓ like in front of me, my version of what they looked like during the whole process. And I could see other people's too. And You know, but mine would follow me, ⁓ you know, when I'd go to the restroom and come back. ⁓ mine would like kind of rock me. and it still was incredibly hard, incredibly sensual. It was like almost like giving birth for me. And in retrospect, what this experience was for me was an anniversary. She was then saying, You have not arrived, but you've arrived for now. No more coaching, no more retreats, no more of these big courses. You have all the tools you need. You have everything inside you. it's time to integrate in a way that's going to be probably the hardest lesson that we have to teach you. And you are now going to integrate. And ⁓ here's also a message download on love, which has been my journey. And ⁓ she told me how to focus where the love ⁓ for now and and she gave me that message and came from my ancestors, like this stuff sounds crazy till you're in it, y'all. I swear.
speaker-0: Yeah, you can and also it's real because you can't, there's no way for you to make up the stuff that you're talking about right now. Like there's just no way for you to imagine and like make up all the images and all of the feelings in the body. So in my world, this is just as real, maybe probably more real than you know, my water bottle that's in my hand right now. There's something I wanted to say that you said. Okay, so keep going. You were talking about the lessons about love, and then we'll proceed.
speaker-1: Yes, and interrupt me at any time 'cause it sounds like I've been inspiring some questions in you and then I keep going.
speaker-0: ⁓ this is what I wanted to say. This is what I wanted to ask you. So I wanted to know, especially for our listeners, when you because what I heard you say in my own words was, I let go of the story that that ceremony helped me let go of the story that I need to suffer in order to get to my sweet honey life, right? So when you think about the new narrative, I don't need to suffer to have this. Does something happen differently in your body in this moment? And then what happened when you figure that out?
speaker-1: Okay. Figuring it out and being it are so drastically two different things. As you know. You know, I feel that what Aya or a psychedelic experience continues to show me is that that moment of being or that feeling of being never leaves. It's always there within a millisecond of like reach. And that
speaker-0: Yes.
speaker-1: my brain is like almost so much more powerful than that that it overtakes it. And it's the habit of suffering and the dopamine hit that I get from it. And I think in order for me to come back to that feeling, in order for me to be in that, you know, deeply would it be parasympathetic zone and like heart opening zone and not too flighty that it's not like I'm not, you know, ⁓ enough to be able to ground in reality, but just enough openness. It's almost just like ⁓ I don't have to worry about timing. I don't have to worry about doing too much. It's just about kind of like doing just the right enough and trusting that it will happen. It's the trust. It's the trust that like, ⁓ and not like I sit here and do nothing. It's the trust that when I open the door and I just do enough that the timing of it will work perfectly. That's right. And that, ⁓ and so to answer your question, how do I get back into that? What is that feeling? I really do have to kind of like do heart-centered kind of meditations or work or a 10, five minute ⁓ ecstatic dance thing, ⁓ or a breath work, deep kind of breath work to bring me back.
speaker-0: Yeah.
speaker-1: And also maybe some channeling ⁓ with the dancing or journaling to give a name to that persona. Like Sierra Sweet Honey is the name that I had for a while. And she's here, you know? And she is a little bit more like wears flowy dresses and she's like the Bali, you know, she'd love to live in Bali. and and and it's very quote unquote feminine and it's very heart led. ⁓ and her decisions actually when there are more time pressure, she will actually not lean in, right? And so the feeling for me in order to come back to those, ⁓ it takes some and this is the weird thing, can I even say it takes work? She doesn't no one, none of them would love that word. It takes embodiment.
speaker-0: Yes. Yeah, and talk about what that means to you when you say that because I know that. I know that experience on so many different levels. So tell me about tell the listeners about what it means when it when you say it takes embodiment.
speaker-1: And this is and I'm in all honesty, I've also been flowed back into not listening to CR Sweet Honey and and a lot of those parts of me for a few weeks now as I looked for a new place to live. but the embodiment part means allowing the body to help me lead my decisions in a calm, like very grounded present way versus my mind and the fear. That's right. And they're alert. Yeah, and they're literally so intertwined that ⁓ and the body what it feels like, I can feel it in my heart like ⁓ as if maybe somebody poured like warm milk honey, you know, into my body and it feels like a soft coating.
speaker-0: Mm-hmm. I do know.
speaker-1: versus this part I've named, which she's a lovely part and very good at protecting me, which I've named Stingray Sally. Sh she comes in through the stomach and it's like it's like piercing. It's like emergency, emergency. And so for me, the embodiment means how can I let how can I acknowledge Stingray Sally and also acknowledge Sierra Sweet Honey and then ask them maybe what they need, maybe it's a dance release and allow Sierra Sweet Honey to
speaker-0: Mm-hmm.
speaker-1: Have maybe more of a presence, like honey, and I will have to take the images and imagine them on my body. So, like Sierra Sweet Honey, we get an image of Stingray Sally, right? Like a stingray in my stomach, and she gets stuff done and she's very quick. But Sierra Sweet Honey, ⁓ and I know all to a lot of you guys to a lot of you people out there, this might sound like way out there, but for me, this is how I talk. I have different names.
speaker-0: Talk about how you're talking too, but keep going. Yeah.
speaker-1: Sierra Sierra Sweet Honey, my vision for her, first of all, she's like a purpley pinky color, maybe similar to this necklace, but a little bit more purpley if you're watching the video. Yeah. And if you can imagine honey on a piece of bread doesn't need to be spread. It spreads on its own. Yeah. And so I like to envision that Sierra Sweet Honey kind of comes in behind me, maybe into my throat and my neck. And she just and she kind of like pours the honey in me or over me and just she's not forcing it. It's just so slowly, like the amber honey just starting to slowly you can see even now the release I can feel it, the slowing down of the speech.
speaker-0: Yeah, that's right. You settled a little bit more when you embodied this part called sweet Sally Honey.
speaker-1: That's her cousin who does. Sierra, sweet honey. Thank you. And a lot of these names ⁓ you know, ⁓ come to me during a channeling. And when I did ayahuasca, ⁓ Star Sapphire was the part that revealed herself, the one of ⁓ yeah, and she's blue, you know, and a kind of an embodiment of like this this goddess ready to call to to bring in her love. So I embody them through the naming of the parts, and then I give, and those parts give me a feeling, and I associate that feeling with an action, and then together and do an embodiment practice, a very short one, even could be seconds, that helps me embody ⁓ them so I can feel a more kind of presence of that kind of energy. without discarding them. Yeah.
speaker-0: We So just a note to our listeners, part of what we're talking about when Alex Alex and I are talking about parts comes from a therapeutic approach called internal family systems. And the idea is that we all have an internal family of parts that are constantly working to do whatever their job is. So for example, I have a I have a protector part that knows how to get really angry if I feel not important or feel threatened. And so that angry part will come up. And ⁓ do the research. I'm sh it's very popular right now. But one of the things I love most about internal family systems as an approach is that at least with my clients, it really teaches people self-compassion. It teaches people how to show up and really be in care of the parts of us that are just trying to survive hard shit and actually try to understand them more and get to know them and then help them integrate into our daily life. So there's just that piece and then One of the things that you might not have seen when Alexandra was talking about the part, ⁓ this the sweet sapphire part, or the sapphire, tell me again. So you probably heard it, but what she was doing was closing her eyes, and what it looked like is that her body was actually settling down into gravity. And as she was doing that, her hand was coming from her face and then moving downward in the front of her body as she began to embody this part.
speaker-1: Star Sapphire.
speaker-0: And then she even noted, she's like, right, I'm just a little slower now in my speech. And the reason why I want to point this out to listeners is because these kinds of experiences in the imaginal realm, and sometimes I talk about the imaginal realm as the subconscious or the unconscious, which is really the body, is really an important way of how we can reclaim the wholeness of who we are and the truth of who we are. And what Alexandra does is she names the part and then she connects it to an action. And then there's also a feeling inside. And it's a very holistic way of becoming unified as a human versus when we have experienced trauma in our life of any sort, whether it was early and ongoing trauma or just one singular event or a combination of things, parts of our psyche, the way that I think about it is get split off. We become sort of shattered, and our parts are a way for us to call ourselves home. So I'm really appreciating the investment in the therapeutic and spiritual work. that I'm hearing and seeing from you, Alex, because these are the these are the practices, these are the ways of being that we start to incorporate into our everyday life so that we can experience life from a joyful place versus one from a place of survival. Does that make sense? Yeah.
speaker-1: Yeah, and I and then people listening, I realize that the way I'm talking can probably seem so foreign and maybe like I'll never get to that. But the beautiful thing that I have seen others experience with psychedelics or even just arts work with a practitioner is that they are right there with you and very accessible with the right kind of ⁓ you know person guiding you, but also in a safe place or allowing our ego to drop a little. And even the most like people that seemed so like that they would never get to these kind of channeling of their own parts with psychedelics, most people, when I heard their integration integration stories and what they experienced, they were able to meet some of these parts. And once I we open the door, it's wow, what else is there? I guarantee you,
speaker-0: Classes there, yeah.
speaker-1: If you're thinking I'd never be able to do that or I can't do it like she does and name them or have the vision, you don't need to. It will come to you. You don't there's no work you need to do.
speaker-0: With no effort, it will simply arise and become part of your awareness. And if you're slow enough and you're listening with intention and care versus judgment and opinion, you are gonna arrive at these places. Alexandra used the word download. So that's what I use too. When I when something downloads, it's not anything I was trying to make happen. I wasn't meditating for a thing, I wasn't looking for information, and then all of a sudden, and I call it unifying information. This unifying information shows up, and I'm like ⁓ that's so helpful, right? Like it's so really amazing and helpful. And so I appreciate what you're saying to the listeners. Like it doesn't have to look or sound like you, not the Aya experience, not how you talk about your work. This is just one way of being, and I can really see you integrated. That's the thing I'm really enjoying right now. Is there's a way that you're easeful in your body, like your face is really soft as you talk to me. And so what that tells me is that everything that you just shared about your Aya journey and you know, both of them and what happened has been integrated in a way because there's the other thing that's happening too as I look at you is that there's like a central, there's like a there's an image of a column of light. And this happens, I'm noticing it's happening consistently in some of my ⁓ interviews. There's a column of light that just makes up your central core that's right in front of your spine. So I really appreciate you talking about this. Is anything more you want to share? One of the things I have actually my question is w what magic happened after your last journey? What was the magic? Like what's the what yeah, the big reveal.
speaker-1: Uh-huh. it yes so tr and some a little bit of just quick background by the way yeah ⁓ and I I've been diagnosed ⁓ ADHD ⁓ since I was 18 and on medication from a from that age when I started the dieta before I did ayahuasca ⁓ I weaned myself off of it which obviously under the guide of a professional ⁓ and support and ⁓ I had flexibility in my life to be able to do that. and I did not go back on, have yet to be back on the meds. Now that's been a journey in itself. Of course. But we're talking what? 25 years of medication, which have been very helpful. But also, in that time frame, after a major breakup in my early in my late 20s, I was just like on the dating wheel.
speaker-0: Of course.
speaker-1: ⁓ from age twenty seven to forty-three, like six months here. ⁓ you know, untoxic kind of relationships there. And I was really wanting to understand why the getting off the meds was more something personal, but also curiosity on maybe a a life that felt a little lighter before, less productive, a little bit more playful of so getting off those meds, In addition to the Aya experience, and it was literally days after I came back ⁓ going on a hinge date and ⁓ meeting somebody and kind of being more open, something about it felt, ⁓ okay, let's let's do this and safety and we've been together and it's a very serious relationship. Is there correlation between all of that? Yes. Was there also a dis Was there also a decision I made? Yes. Has it been easy? No. No. This is the hardest integration ever. But ⁓ the biggest download from Aya was kind of where to focus the energy of love. ⁓ my ancestors came back, you know. they were giving me kind of a message of where to focus the love for now. ⁓ I'm not a religious person, but I am culturally Jewish, and they were like, let's. I think it'd be amazing if you dated somebody Jewish. Was it my mom who was talking? No, it was not my mom. It was like, but what happened was like during I went back into like my mom's, you know, ⁓ like ⁓ like I went back into her body before she had me and then I saw her go back into ⁓ to my nanas then generation I just was like very quickly until like really fast until ⁓ until I realized that a lot of the suffering
speaker-0: Yeah, really fast.
speaker-1: was they didn't want to be forgotten.
speaker-0: That was revealed to you in your journey.
speaker-1: Yes. Was revealed. We not they weren't apologetic. Thank you. We just didn't want you to forget about us. This was our way of reminding you about who we are. ⁓ we want to support you and and you should live a very happy and free life. You're the first of our gener, you know, first of people that has had this much freedom and safety. And ⁓ you know, ⁓ we want you to live and celebrate and also if you could maybe date someone Jewish for now.
speaker-0: Your mom was probably really stoked about the outcome of that journey.
speaker-1: Yes. And I don't know if this is a long term. It's what I need it now, right? Like it's still building. But I will tell you this integration has been the hardest kind of thing to do yet and the most rewarding for sure. And so beyond grateful ⁓ for the lessons I've learned and the messages that were downloaded and the love that I've received since then, which is is still part of the integration, I guess.
speaker-0: Yeah. Can we talk about that for a second? Because integration is thrown around a lot. And what I'm learning, having, you know, facilitating journeys with clients only for the last two or three years is that integration is so many things. It's kind of like when people talk about resilience or nervous system regulation. It's like, what exactly do you mean by that? So can you talk to us a little bit about My w my first question is what does an integration practice look like or integration practic integration look like for you? Let's just Yeah.
speaker-1: Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Integration looks like that. Integration looks like coming back to your normal life, being in this like really kind of euphoric, spiritual, safe place with all these people that held you in such strong, safe ⁓ place and were part of this euphoric, like extremely beautiful experience and held you through it. And now I'm coming back into this other world like that I knew before but has this world is still looks the same. Yes. But I am not. I am not the same. And how is my life now going to change now that I have changed? That's right. And the integration there that most of the time they recommend is do not make big changes right after you come back.
speaker-0: Within two to three weeks. Don't make those big changes. Correct.
speaker-1: Right. The breakups, the job quitting, the you know
speaker-0: Vinha, Maramão.
speaker-1: Yeah. ⁓ I'm going to use my savings and start my own like you know, ways for people to have, you know, psychedelic experiences. and so it the integration for us in that program was ⁓ that we were meeting weekly and we had kind of buddies that we were partnered with. ⁓ and so there was a lot of weekly integration as well as reflection work. including visioning for your our futures and how we were integrating it into our day-to-day life. The buddy work was ⁓ could have been really helpful for me. The buddy and I weren't really like super aligned from the get-go, although a wonderful person. I didn't feel a sense of connection like I did with some of the other people. So for me, it was important that I made relationships and Myra and I know this well, a relationship that even though it was virtual was very close. Kismet And supporting each other, even through voice notes and calls. And it starts out kind of euphoric and beautiful and soft for a few weeks. And then for me is when the challenges started to appear. the the softness were the kind of things that I felt like were now integrated full time into who I am started to dissipate, and the old parts c came back in stronger. And so it was really important that I had practices. and embodiment work to help me. and that I had also the ⁓ buddies as well as the weekly kind of connection with the ceremony and people that I did it with to help me stay kind of tuned in to those parts. And so ⁓ even though I met someone shortly after I came back, it was still like moving slowly, right? Because this person didn't do ayahuasca. They could not relate to that part of me. And actually I was almost triggered immediately when I met him. So I had to into you know the it was like I just did all this work and you guys gave me this message. Why isn't it all easy? And so the integration part is really key because I think some people think I'm changed and it's going to be easy from this point on. When in fact it's the opposite. And I'm sure some of your listeners probably figured that it's actually when a lot of the harder part comes of how I'm going to change some of my lifestyle. and how I approach things so that these parts now have more room in my day to day.
speaker-0: I mean, something I tell clients consistently, especially in the in the space of psychedelic journeys, I say, you know, the journey is awesome and it's or the journey's going to be what the journey needs to be. But where the discipline and the devotion to your life actually shows up is in the aftermath of it. Is now you're rewired, now you're different. Now you've got some insights and some information that you didn't have before. And what are you going to do to support that shift and change that was part of that? Rewiring or part of that psychedelic journey. So I really appreciate you talking about. I mean, the way that I heard it was like, yeah, the work, it doesn't have to be hard, but it is, it's a practice. Every day you got to show up for yourself, belong like choose to belong to yourself, in your words, and do the things that are going to help you be in alignment with the truth of who you are and your soul's essence. At least that's the way that I heard it from you. So I have a question for you. My question is, especially given the context of your most recent Aya journey, what does being a mystic in everyday life mean to you? What does that look like for you, especially at this this point in your progression? What does being an everyday life mystic mean to you or look like?
speaker-1: Yeah. And when you ask me those that question for the listeners, like my eyes are closed and I'm imagining myself kind of just like walking in my world. I think an everyday mystic allows me to really allow what the universe downloads to me and bringing that into my everyday moments and interactions with the world and the people around it. seeing the light in other people so I can see it in myself. It means being kind and like welcoming in my feelings at any point, but knowing kind of that I'm fully safely protected because I'm never abandoning myself. Being an everyday mystic means like being my weird ass quirky self as much as possible so that I can encourage other people to do that too. Yeah. Yeah. I think in the everyday. the more I lean into really being myself and expressing that as an art. the more permission it gives not only me to live life to the fullest, but others around me as well.
speaker-0: Every everyone around you. So I want to pivot here as we start to wrap up because I want you to talk about the work that you do in the world. So for the listeners, Alex and I met at a mastermind retreat. ⁓ we were in a group together for eight weeks or something like that, and then it ended a retreat where we could meet each other. And we ended up being roommates because we chose each other and we just got along like a house on fire. And in the aftermath of that, I watched you build on Instagram your connection feast, ⁓ your connection feast profile. And one of the things I love about the work that you do in the world is, and this is the way that I think about it, so you'll have to illuminate our listeners, but not only do you help people learn how to be friends with other people, right? And the back the backdrop to that is can they I imagine is but can they belong to themselves? Do they have ways to be connected and and to be able to self-reflect. So you teach people how to make friends, which is enormous. We don't, you know, it's just not a skill that we're taught and we need it. And I've watched your stuff. But the thing I really love about the work that you're doing, especially when you do your live events, is the community that you create. And you talked about it right at the beginning of the interview. Community is, in my opinion, one of the biggest missing links in all of American life. We are so insular in our families, and that's great. I mean, that's really awesome. And when we have a community, a group of people who are invested in the same values or supporting each other, showing up for each other, in my world, that is one of the best ways to create a safe life or a safe enough life is, ⁓ if if I get, if something happens to me, I've got people that are gonna come for me in a good way. So could you talk about the work that you're doing and maybe specifically, even more specifically, like what's really lighting you up about the work that you do in the world?
speaker-1: Thank you, darling. Wow, I feel really seen. So yeah, it's called Connection Feast. ⁓ and I help people ⁓ learn how to connect deeper with themselves in a life that lights them up so they can find the people to live that life with. and so helping people find and build really deeply connected friendships. now, of course, this outpours into all relationships for people, ⁓ family, romantic, work, but my main focus is friendship. and community. Now as a mystic and healer, ⁓ I am a visionary and able to see trends usually about seven to ten years before I see them as something bigger. So I start and mic drop y'all.
speaker-0: Okay.
speaker-1: Okay. ⁓ and I and I ⁓ so I've been building this for a long time before the term social wellness it is called ⁓ is now popular and we have you know tr you know lots of political backing but not doing a much as much ⁓ and people talking about it about community ⁓ but you're correct Western culture America specifically we have a very big problem and so I created this in a sense to help people meet each other ⁓ connect with people that inspire them, go deeper. And ⁓ and it's turned now into this over after, you know, 125 events in person and online, and over 2,000 people have met and connected deeply created friendships or a deeper friendship with themselves. and it's been one of the biggest, most inspiring things that I've worked on. And it's put me in the category of an expert on friendship and becoming a friendship coach. and yes, and it is as quirky as it sounds and super like rewarding and lucrative and people ⁓ are paying to be able to learn and practice the s the social skills needed to create those relationships. Because unfortunately we live in an environment in in Western culture that does not support, like you said, Myra, ⁓ the ability to connect and be in community in a natural way on our individualistic culture. While amazingly beautiful for like what Myra's doing now or what I do and starting our own businesses and getting after it, also has the downfall of potentially being a very isolating life to live based on kind of just how our cities are developed and our culture lives. So, okay, that's the case. How can I then build a life that is centered around community and still be a successful person in my career and still build a mystical inspired? like spiritual life. Still focus on myself, but focus on others. So I help people learn those skills, specifically really practicing the skills ⁓ around being social, ⁓ around how to connect with people, around initiating, not only initiating with people, but initiating in the life that they want to live, which is my number one kind of lesson. Yeah. And getting past rejection and getting more into what's working and how to actually ⁓ with confidence enjoy who you are and just like swim in the pond that is a perfect size for you and that you can find your other fish. ⁓ and so I work with people on how to do this. And to be honest, one of the biggest things we work on is a lot of somatic exercises because so many of us are freaking the F out all the time that when we connect with people, it's not allowing them to come in.
speaker-0: That's right. And when we freak out, we also go right up into our head, which means we can't feel what's happening and or receive love, warmth, connection, all of that stuff coming towards us.
speaker-1: Yes, you know what? The soft skills that our culture has put around that are now the hot skills. They are AI. They are. AI, this isn't going away. It's revving up. And I'm excited for it. But if if people really want the best skills out there, it's the soft skills, learning how to connect, learning how to embody, learning how to really see somebody and accept them for who they are. You're gonna get miles ahead. AI will never be able to learn.
speaker-0: The hotel.
speaker-1: to have the consciousness to do that ever. Yes. Relationships are more important than now and it will continue to be. So that's what I help people with. We just did an immersion which was an all-day beautiful event. I'll be launching something called like a social series where people can practice a lot of these skills consistently and that will be online and I'll focus more on like connection retreats. ⁓ But a lot of the focus is helping people get access to me and to each other and being able to learn live.
speaker-0: Yeah. Right.
speaker-1: ⁓ as well as some recorded lessons and stuff like that. But I'll be launching out social ⁓ series soon and then have a few ⁓ like a couple times that you can do that a week, different days of the week, that you can join some groups and practice these skills together and meet other like-minded folks. And then a lot of accountability on how to create that in person in your environment. so that's what I do. It lights me up and
speaker-0: Lights me up too. Amazing. We're both like shimmying in our shoulders and our chest. Yeah. I mean, I just can't say again how important I think it is the work that you do. And this comes from the lens of working. I specialize in working with adults who have experienced early and ongoing trauma. Sometimes people call that CPTSD. And one of the number one things that I see is their lack of
speaker-1: We're about to take
speaker-0: ability to be in relationship because they're so protected because often their early relationships were not safe, right? ⁓ and so people really need community. And also it's worth noting on the psychedelic front, on the psychedelic journey front, the clients that have the best outcomes for psychedelic journeys are the clients that go home to a community. And even if that's just one safe enough person, one safe enough other person, we'll we're going to call that community because We need, especially women, we need reflections of how we're shifting and who we are and how we went from point A to point F or whatever it might be. So I would love all of my clients to take your course because it's a it's a missing set of skills. When you grow up in unsafe environments as a young person, social skills are not what you know how to do, or the social skills you're using are pretending and posing and just trying to fit in. And you talked about that at the beginning of this. So Thank you for what you do. It's tremendous. I've loved watching your journey over the last four or five years that we've known each other. ⁓ Thank you. And as we wrap up, my dear, and this is going to be in the show notes, but tell everyone where they can find you so that they can sign up for coaching or your immersions or your retreats.
speaker-1: Thank you so much. Yeah, Connection Feast is the name. Yes, like you feast on connection. ⁓ and you can find me on Instagram at at connectionfeast. ⁓ you can also find me at connectionfeast.com. ⁓ I'm definitely all over Instagram being my silly self, a little bit on TikTok. Then you can join my mailing list on connectionfeast.com. You can send me an email as well at Alex at Connection Feast. We can talk about coaching or what might work best for you. And if I'm not, you know, a best service for you, I will honestly let you know and give you a referral of what will. But for now, I'm really excited to work with people mostly in the group context and very few openings for one-on-one. And so that's the best. And if I can offer anything, it's please initiate in your life. Please reach out. Like not reaching out to necessarily me and Myra to be your friend, but reaching out to people in your community that and that you can start building consistent relationships with and using healers and builders like Myra or me to help you. guide you into that so that you can get there at at a at a timing and in a way that feels safe to you is going to be a really beautiful outlet. And so I want to say cheers to community and friendship and ⁓ the ability to really embody a life that is meant for you. Created by you.
speaker-0: I just freaking adore you. The the last thing I'll say before we wrap up is my experience of you consistently, Alex, is is one of two one of delight and playfulness. There's a way that you are quite a bullion in the way that you connect and the way that you talk and the way that you, you know, are in your body. And I just appreciate it so much. And it's it's a reflection of me too, because I'm super playful. And honestly, sometimes I don't get to be super playful because I'm in my role. You know, I'm being a therapist, I'm being the journey person or whatever. it might be. So this has been pure delight for me. Thank you so much for being here.
speaker-1: Thank you so much for having me and for just existing. You are such a light in this world. ⁓ affirmation is my love language, but I feel so lucky that I've crossed paths with you. You really do inspire me. I feel even like beautiful in the world with you. And people who are watching or listening to this, like Myra is the best, the best. And so thank you for helping me see so much beauty in this world and for having me on your show.
speaker-0: Amazing. All right, listeners, have an amazing day. Thanks for being here.
speaker-1: Yes. So I think of myself and call myself a social artist. ⁓ I'm a creator, community builder, ⁓ healer, and enlightened being, but when it comes to how I am giving service and making even more light, it is so the social artist.
speaker-0: Yeah, let's unpack that. I love that. Can you break it down? What's a social art? What does being a social artist mean? Since this is one this is one of your offerings. What's that mean?
speaker-1: Yes. So for what I've discovered and just a little backstory, for a long time I've been creating community, helping people learn how to connect. And I thought that I was trying to mix this in as like this is a business. This is very structural, but it never felt like a business to me. It always felt very like intuitive and very much like I was creating a way for people to connect in unique ⁓ ways that help them. feel a more of a connection to themselves and other people in a way that was maybe outside of the box, not just these prompts. And over time I kept creating and inventing these new ways for people to connect and meet each other. And I realized I was actually doing a practice, an art practice called social art, which is actually something people study and learn how to do, which is how can I help people unite and connect around something that maybe is from a kind of an artist mindset versus something that is necessarily a construct of what we have in, you know, Western culture or whatever culture. And so social artists became such a way for me to feel seen and allowing me permission to alter and switch it and how I'm going about helping people connect in a way that felt more like an artistic expression that I was curating and help people experience. Yeah.
speaker-0: Whoa, dude, you just blew my mind with that. So, listeners, just in case you might want to go and look this up on YouTube and watch the interview. And the reason why I'm saying that is because Alex and I are very similar in that we can be very gesticulative. And already, as Alex was talking about what she does, the movements in her body are very ⁓ compelling and also integrated in my world. And what that just means is it's such a clear expression of who you are. So I really appreciate that. So listeners, if you can go watch, it's worth watching. So tell us about I always ask this question, what are a what was a pivotal moment or pivotal moments it can be in your life or in the recent past that have really helped shape who you are today as a social artist and offering what you do to the world?
speaker-1: Yeah, th like you said, there's so many. ⁓ but for as long as I remember, ⁓ I've always felt like maybe a little bit outside of the box. ⁓ I've always felt a little bit different. And perhaps that's also my age of you know, being ⁓ an elder millennial. Some of the millennials feel like they don't fit in and like they're meant for something different. But I I Have always kind of felt like my brain was working differently. I always actually struggled in school. I always felt like I was wanting to do a self expression that was more on the fringes. I always felt like I was trying to fit in, but never quite could in most of the things that I did. And ⁓ although I was really creative and venturing into these, they never seemed practical. They never seemed realistic. ⁓ It wasn't until my mid 30s. that finally that was just kind of this a feeling of really just deep loneliness, even with an immense amount of friends, supportive family, ⁓ and health and all the things that kind of keep you keep felt like it was like good things to support me in my journey, I still felt this sense of loneliness. And in I think just even thinking about being in this downtown high rise with this beautiful view, with this impressive tech job, and and keeping myself busy with international travel and fun, fashion, and things that all honestly are amazing things, it still was just this inner depth of loneliness. And I think it was just finally feeling like I'm sick of this story that I kept telling myself. And I'm sick of feeling like this has to be the way it is. And I think initially I thought it was because I wasn't meeting the right people that maybe I wasn't having the right conversations. That I ⁓ was spending time doing the wrong things with the wrong people. And so initially I started creating dinner parties to help heal that. And that's what launched the business. However, what I'm just kind of coming to, even in I'm talking to you, is the fact that I actually feel that probably in that moment ⁓ what was happening is not even a true belonging to myself and who I was. Or am and that this longing, and I kept outsourcing it and outsourcing it and outsourcing it, trying to find it, find it, find it, find it here, create it, do it. That really just this longing of a feeling of sense of belonging within myself and not feeling like the outsider that I was seeking, you know, permission to be myself, and maybe to this day still seems to be the journey. But I do remember kind of looking out. this beautiful downtown view and like just like this dramatic thing of my hand on the window and just like, gosh, if only I could just find myself, if only I could just find the right people. Whoever I surround myself with is going to, you know, the five people I surround myself will have such an impact. But really and that might be true, but I had lost or doubted the sense of belonging to myself for my Whole life at that point. And it's still something I'm constantly having to remind myself to come back to. I'd say that was like a very big turning point for me. And every time that I do things like ecstatic dance or every time that I have gone and done any kind of psychedelics, I realized that time, it never that my true self never went away. It's never mad at me. It's never saying I'm behind. It's always been within me. It just needed the the kind of moment to be uncovered. And I think. And I feel that with a sense of belonging, that la or feeling lack thereof always comes back to I wasn't feeling a sense of belonging within myself. I wasn't truly accepting it. I was trying to outsource it constantly.
speaker-0: Preach. I'm having a moment of deep appreciation for you and how simply you could state that you didn't have a sense of belonging with yourself. Because in my world, and you know this too, when you don't have a sense of belonging to yourself, it's really hard to belong anywhere else. Like it's just it's it's really, really difficult because un until you have that lived experience. So one of the things I'm curious about is Was there a moment when you got that experience, like a pivotal moment when you got the experience of like, ⁓ my God, I belong to myself? I'm actually like, like, I own myself, I'm with myself, I'm inhabiting myself. Was there a moment that comes up for you?
speaker-1: It's like, in all honesty, Myra, like little frozen moments in time of ⁓ little tastes over my lifetime where perhaps we could say it was to some people, whatever they believe in, right? A higher self. For me, it's it is like the higher self coming in to give me little moments of reminders. I say more a consistent one is when I do ecstatic dance. and I'm really able to feel a sense of belonging and self-expression in a way that somehow doesn't come out in the day-to-day in the same way. It ⁓ and that sense of belonging, it also comes out ⁓ when it's just such almost like a like when I have done ⁓ psychedelics or I have done ⁓ a lot of ⁓ you know parts work in IFS and channeling. I do a lot of channeling. ⁓ where I feel a sense of belonging, like it's all within me moment, and it's just constant little whispers, constant little reminders throughout my life. And it's if I'm still on that journey of walking with them, and I feel as though, although I don't think there is, I feel as though maybe I will one day arrive and meet them all, and we will all be living together. But every time I meet them, whether on the dance floor. whether on laying on the floor with psychedelic experience or ⁓ or whether it is just like ⁓ s in an awe of a moment, something beautiful, they have never not been walking with me. Yeah. It's just enough of a release of my ego and the world influence and the to do list and anything else that comes in as a protector to ⁓ to distract me from it.
speaker-0: Yeah. Yeah, I can really relate to the idea of belonging to yourself in the midst of ecstatic dance or just dancing in general. You know, when we're living in our 3D lives, there are very we are actually very limited in our movement patterns. We're lifting, we're sitting, we're standing, we're laying down, we're getting up. And when you move the body, and this is a pro tip for all of my all of the listeners. When you start to move your body in non-traditional ways, so running would be a very traditional way, right? Lifting are still traditional. What I mean by traditional is these are practiced movements that maybe you've been doing for all of your life, right? When you move in non-traditional ways or fluid ways, like ecstatic dance, and your body is actually leading you, that makes the difference between having an agenda, I'm gonna run for four miles, with to all the way to what you're talking about, which is I'm gonna show up on the dance floor and then And this is what it's like for me. Like, what does my body want to do in response to what's happening around me, inside me, as well as with the music? So it's a very holistic experience. And it's just a great way to know thyself, quite frankly. Where I'm really curious right now is how you came to this sense of belonging to yourself with psychedelic experiences. Because as you know, I'm a psychedelic practitioner and I do integration work, I guide clients in journeys. So Any any psychedelic journeys that have been really pivotal, maybe they've all been pivotal pivotal, but can you talk about some of your journeys and the gifts or the insights or the benefits that those journeys or a journey gave you?
speaker-1: Yeah. So it probably let let's rewind a little s a second for this experience. And let me tell you that there was a moment when I'm laying on the ground thinking I'm about to die, ⁓ inside a yurt, ⁓ in the you know, sacred valley of Peru. And I'm thinking and I'm and I'm like ⁓ screaming. by the way, and scared that if I will fall into the depths of whatever's grabbing me, that I will die. And I'm thinking, I pay for this. How did I
speaker-0: For this.
speaker-1: Now I'm gonna think I'm gonna die. And ⁓ I was fighting it, but how did I get there? Now, everybody has their own timing of this journey. ⁓ I wouldn't say that I was like a good girl, but I'm actually not a drinker. ⁓ I don't smoke. I'm you know, a recreational like marijuana user in the sense of like a responsible quote unquote like Do it if I don't have something coming, you know, to do the next day because I get the hangover. I and and what some people might identify as kind of like, well, then what's her vice kind of thing? But ⁓ I do ⁓ at that time, I was in my ⁓ late 20s, ⁓ at that time had only done marijuana. And for some reason this voice came to me ⁓ about ⁓ ayahuasca and was like, you have done nothing other than marijuana, let's just take you to the the next end of of IA and now I know Aya kind of calls to you. they say, and it sounds weird, but one day it just comes into your head and and it's a very soft whisper and it's curiosity. I was living in San Francisco. I, you know, for me the journey of love has been basically, you know, I feel like we all have one really big thing of focus in in our life, often comes back. And for me, love has and can And was a continued one. I've so I was kind of still feeling that lack of sense of belonging and and loneliness. And so I went to Peru, ⁓ not knowing, not having a really big intention necessarily, just other than like I knew she was calling me, mother, grandmother Aya. The first time I did Aya, and this was ⁓ now just over 10 years ago, and I'm 43. So it must have been in my early 30s. and
speaker-0: That's right.
speaker-1: that I went and I didn't really know what I was doing and like, you know, I was scared, but really not super intentional. I did the dieta, which is the the diet before, but didn't really wasn't intentional on some other things, perhaps, but still pretty quite intentional. And I was that girl. I don't know how to explain it other than saying, you know, that girl or that person at a party, sometimes I was that girl, that person at the Aya. I was Screaming, I was scared. I was talking out loud the whole time. and I was fighting it. I mean, fighting it, and I was absolutely petrified. And anybody who's listening, please don't let my experience I now real realize. ⁓ I was just fighting. I I had such a strong grip on control that I was so scared to let go. And ⁓ here I was laying to like two handsome, like men in their early twenties and I was like self conscious as it was because I thought this was I thought for sure we were gonna fall in love after they saw me puke and all the you know for sure these these people were be she's no one right but I had to let go of control and I'm not saying it all happened in that moment but in the in the ⁓ there was support in doing it and I really had to just kind of let those insecurities come up and let them be part of my experience. ⁓ I I I wanna say all of this, Myra, because It was a the hardest thing I've ever went through and also the most enlightening. You know, I got so many downloads. ⁓ I journaled all about it. The integration was not very good at that program in retrospect. ⁓ now my experience was scared and hard, but and so I thought ⁓ that that's how it was. I thought that's what I was supposed to experience, lots of suffering in order to get the reward. That has been a trend. In my life. Now I think that's from epigenetics. I have a Jewish background. It doesn't entirely feel like mine, but the suffering to earn softness is part of what feels like something that just is really deep. And so I was like, look at all that suffering I did. Then I came out on this other side so euphoric. I had 10 years of therapy. I feel so free. I came back lighter. I was like, I'll never need to do it again. thank God I did it so early. And then ⁓ you know, in between then there was some other psychedelic maybe mushrooms ⁓ and even my first time with acid just like two years ago. But I all of a sudden got this calling from Aya late last year. And was like, Me? I thought we de did this already. I'm already enlightened. You I've already reached the pinnacle, you kidding me?
speaker-0: So of course she tapped you on the shoulder and was like, ⁓ you need to come, woman.
speaker-1: She's like, Biach, you have no idea.
speaker-0: So I just want to pause for one second and just talk a second. So, you know, for anyone that's listening that is interested in ayahuasca, likely you've already been tapped on the shoulder by grandmother. And my experience is similar in terms of it's a whisper. There's a whisper, there's a curiosity. And I also just had like like probably three or four months ago, I was sitting, I don't know what I was doing. It was nothing important. And then I got this whisper, and the whisper was, you need to come. And I knew exactly I knew exactly who it was. And this is what I said. I was like, I don't want to. I don't want to come because my first ayahuasca experience was really similar to yours. It was a lot of suffering, a lot of purging. It was a lot of, you know, I definitely experienced ego death. And so when she called me, I mean, I'm even as I'm talking to you right now, I'm quaking in my boots. And that doesn't mean I can't do the call. It just means that I've been tapped to come back and maybe learn some more things. So I just wanted to mention that. And then there was something else that you said. I can't remember now, so we'll come back to it. But so you just got you just got called on by grandmother again in the recent past. So pick up from what you're left. Yeah.
speaker-1: Yes, and echoing what you said, Maya, like ⁓ the soft whisper and then you know there's purging, but I guess we hear that about Aya and people's experience and there's like this fear associated with it, I think. And the second time she called me, it was a much, much different experience. ⁓ and I and it was also set up differently. you know, and I know there's a whole market of kind of the economy behind some of these retreats, which is controversial. So I'm sure you talk a lot about doing your, you know, research ⁓ and really liking who you're working with and who who are the people providing the service, where, where is the, you know, I from and and and all these. But after that was, you know, now I know those kinds of things. but ⁓ this one was different. It was three ⁓ ceremonies. And there was a very strong support on integration. The integration is what I had was missing last time. ⁓ so when I got the whisper, ⁓ and it was more like ⁓ it's time to come back. I knew exactly where to. There was one conversation with a friend, they told me what they did. It was and I and I didn't even research any other place, which for people who know me, I can be not always decisive about something. Then that one wasn't even, I didn't even question it. And it was a little pricier one, but it was with like other heart-led entrepreneurs. It was a little bit more fancy. things you do not need to do, but I did. it fell on my birthday, which is ⁓ a holiday, New Year's Eve. And so I was like, this is and one of the ceremonies was on my birthday. So I just felt like everything was aligning. And so The first ceremony was on my birthday. and I'll tell you this my second experience, and we're talking all three ceremonies, were so different. I thought I was doing something quote unquote wrong, because let's wind back and remember the suffering. The suffering part, I thought
speaker-0: Suffering part, yep.
speaker-1: Suffered the time I did it before. I'm really good at suffering. Let me suffer again. And I I don't know how common this is. It didn't purge once.
speaker-0: Interesting.
speaker-1: All three ceremonies. And I was like, it was the softest experience for me. And I had two servings. Yeah, not gonna say it wasn't hard. There was still like the same uncontrollable. I remember feeling like, you know, the feelings I had of like scared and grasping like like I did the first time, but there was a lot more self-soothing for me this time, a lot more like there was gagging and and other way and I there was ways of release, ⁓ not just purging that happened the next day and crying and things, but there wasn't the same suffering. And every time my instinct went up to grasp to call someone over to help me, which I'm sure they would have or maybe they wouldn't have, my whole process was you are here on an anniversary of all the things you've done in the last 10 years and the tools you have learned and you are going to be okay and we are And I'm here to show you that you can hold yourself through the scariness. And I th that I and a big lesson, a big takeaway for me was you don't need to suffer.
speaker-0: You don't need to suffer. Hello.
speaker-1: You don't need to create suffering or experience suffering in order to expand, in order to live the life, a beautiful, softer life, which is what I've been calling in a you know, sweet honey, slow, oozy life. You don't need to first suffer in order to get there. and that was a big part of my I didn't go, I kind of went in there. I ate like a lot, trying to think I was gonna lose some weight with all this purging. I was like, Girls gonna come back looking fit, right? And I I was going to town, you know, I followed the dieta, but you can still go to town on the dieta. So ⁓ but I did no, I didn't purge, and it doesn't I wanted people listening like purging or not, ⁓ it doesn't make my experience any less. That was what my experience was, a big part, about little the lack of or or not needing to feel like I need to suffer in either in order to. be able to ⁓ come into the softening and the sense of belonging. And it was during those moments of deep, deep gratitude for all my parts just really soothing me. I mean I literally saw Maya ⁓ Aya ⁓ like in front of me, my version of what they looked like during the whole process. And I could see other people's too. And You know, but mine would follow me, ⁓ you know, when I'd go to the restroom and come back. ⁓ mine would like kind of rock me. and it still was incredibly hard, incredibly sensual. It was like almost like giving birth for me. And in retrospect, what this experience was for me was an anniversary. She was then saying, You have not arrived, but you've arrived for now. No more coaching, no more retreats, no more of these big courses. You have all the tools you need. You have everything inside you. it's time to integrate in a way that's going to be probably the hardest lesson that we have to teach you. And you are now going to integrate. And ⁓ here's also a message download on love, which has been my journey. And ⁓ she told me how to focus where the love ⁓ for now and and she gave me that message and came from my ancestors, like this stuff sounds crazy till you're in it, y'all. I swear.
speaker-0: Yeah, you can and also it's real because you can't, there's no way for you to make up the stuff that you're talking about right now. Like there's just no way for you to imagine and like make up all the images and all of the feelings in the body. So in my world, this is just as real, maybe probably more real than you know, my water bottle that's in my hand right now. There's something I wanted to say that you said. Okay, so keep going. You were talking about the lessons about love, and then we'll proceed.
speaker-1: Yes, and interrupt me at any time 'cause it sounds like I've been inspiring some questions in you and then I keep going.
speaker-0: ⁓ this is what I wanted to say. This is what I wanted to ask you. So I wanted to know, especially for our listeners, when you because what I heard you say in my own words was, I let go of the story that that ceremony helped me let go of the story that I need to suffer in order to get to my sweet honey life, right? So when you think about the new narrative, I don't need to suffer to have this. Does something happen differently in your body in this moment? And then what happened when you figure that out?
speaker-1: Okay. Figuring it out and being it are so drastically two different things. As you know. You know, I feel that what Aya or a psychedelic experience continues to show me is that that moment of being or that feeling of being never leaves. It's always there within a millisecond of like reach. And that
speaker-0: Yes.
speaker-1: my brain is like almost so much more powerful than that that it overtakes it. And it's the habit of suffering and the dopamine hit that I get from it. And I think in order for me to come back to that feeling, in order for me to be in that, you know, deeply would it be parasympathetic zone and like heart opening zone and not too flighty that it's not like I'm not, you know, ⁓ enough to be able to ground in reality, but just enough openness. It's almost just like ⁓ I don't have to worry about timing. I don't have to worry about doing too much. It's just about kind of like doing just the right enough and trusting that it will happen. It's the trust. It's the trust that like, ⁓ and not like I sit here and do nothing. It's the trust that when I open the door and I just do enough that the timing of it will work perfectly. That's right. And that, ⁓ and so to answer your question, how do I get back into that? What is that feeling? I really do have to kind of like do heart-centered kind of meditations or work or a 10, five minute ⁓ ecstatic dance thing, ⁓ or a breath work, deep kind of breath work to bring me back.
speaker-0: Yeah.
speaker-1: And also maybe some channeling ⁓ with the dancing or journaling to give a name to that persona. Like Sierra Sweet Honey is the name that I had for a while. And she's here, you know? And she is a little bit more like wears flowy dresses and she's like the Bali, you know, she'd love to live in Bali. and and and it's very quote unquote feminine and it's very heart led. ⁓ and her decisions actually when there are more time pressure, she will actually not lean in, right? And so the feeling for me in order to come back to those, ⁓ it takes some and this is the weird thing, can I even say it takes work? She doesn't no one, none of them would love that word. It takes embodiment.
speaker-0: Yes. Yeah, and talk about what that means to you when you say that because I know that. I know that experience on so many different levels. So tell me about tell the listeners about what it means when it when you say it takes embodiment.
speaker-1: And this is and I'm in all honesty, I've also been flowed back into not listening to CR Sweet Honey and and a lot of those parts of me for a few weeks now as I looked for a new place to live. but the embodiment part means allowing the body to help me lead my decisions in a calm, like very grounded present way versus my mind and the fear. That's right. And they're alert. Yeah, and they're literally so intertwined that ⁓ and the body what it feels like, I can feel it in my heart like ⁓ as if maybe somebody poured like warm milk honey, you know, into my body and it feels like a soft coating.
speaker-0: Mm-hmm. I do know.
speaker-1: versus this part I've named, which she's a lovely part and very good at protecting me, which I've named Stingray Sally. Sh she comes in through the stomach and it's like it's like piercing. It's like emergency, emergency. And so for me, the embodiment means how can I let how can I acknowledge Stingray Sally and also acknowledge Sierra Sweet Honey and then ask them maybe what they need, maybe it's a dance release and allow Sierra Sweet Honey to
speaker-0: Mm-hmm.
speaker-1: Have maybe more of a presence, like honey, and I will have to take the images and imagine them on my body. So, like Sierra Sweet Honey, we get an image of Stingray Sally, right? Like a stingray in my stomach, and she gets stuff done and she's very quick. But Sierra Sweet Honey, ⁓ and I know all to a lot of you guys to a lot of you people out there, this might sound like way out there, but for me, this is how I talk. I have different names.
speaker-0: Talk about how you're talking too, but keep going. Yeah.
speaker-1: Sierra Sierra Sweet Honey, my vision for her, first of all, she's like a purpley pinky color, maybe similar to this necklace, but a little bit more purpley if you're watching the video. Yeah. And if you can imagine honey on a piece of bread doesn't need to be spread. It spreads on its own. Yeah. And so I like to envision that Sierra Sweet Honey kind of comes in behind me, maybe into my throat and my neck. And she just and she kind of like pours the honey in me or over me and just she's not forcing it. It's just so slowly, like the amber honey just starting to slowly you can see even now the release I can feel it, the slowing down of the speech.
speaker-0: Yeah, that's right. You settled a little bit more when you embodied this part called sweet Sally Honey.
speaker-1: That's her cousin who does. Sierra, sweet honey. Thank you. And a lot of these names ⁓ you know, ⁓ come to me during a channeling. And when I did ayahuasca, ⁓ Star Sapphire was the part that revealed herself, the one of ⁓ yeah, and she's blue, you know, and a kind of an embodiment of like this this goddess ready to call to to bring in her love. So I embody them through the naming of the parts, and then I give, and those parts give me a feeling, and I associate that feeling with an action, and then together and do an embodiment practice, a very short one, even could be seconds, that helps me embody ⁓ them so I can feel a more kind of presence of that kind of energy. without discarding them. Yeah.
speaker-0: We So just a note to our listeners, part of what we're talking about when Alex Alex and I are talking about parts comes from a therapeutic approach called internal family systems. And the idea is that we all have an internal family of parts that are constantly working to do whatever their job is. So for example, I have a I have a protector part that knows how to get really angry if I feel not important or feel threatened. And so that angry part will come up. And ⁓ do the research. I'm sh it's very popular right now. But one of the things I love most about internal family systems as an approach is that at least with my clients, it really teaches people self-compassion. It teaches people how to show up and really be in care of the parts of us that are just trying to survive hard shit and actually try to understand them more and get to know them and then help them integrate into our daily life. So there's just that piece and then One of the things that you might not have seen when Alexandra was talking about the part, ⁓ this the sweet sapphire part, or the sapphire, tell me again. So you probably heard it, but what she was doing was closing her eyes, and what it looked like is that her body was actually settling down into gravity. And as she was doing that, her hand was coming from her face and then moving downward in the front of her body as she began to embody this part.
speaker-1: Star Sapphire.
speaker-0: And then she even noted, she's like, right, I'm just a little slower now in my speech. And the reason why I want to point this out to listeners is because these kinds of experiences in the imaginal realm, and sometimes I talk about the imaginal realm as the subconscious or the unconscious, which is really the body, is really an important way of how we can reclaim the wholeness of who we are and the truth of who we are. And what Alexandra does is she names the part and then she connects it to an action. And then there's also a feeling inside. And it's a very holistic way of becoming unified as a human versus when we have experienced trauma in our life of any sort, whether it was early and ongoing trauma or just one singular event or a combination of things, parts of our psyche, the way that I think about it is get split off. We become sort of shattered, and our parts are a way for us to call ourselves home. So I'm really appreciating the investment in the therapeutic and spiritual work. that I'm hearing and seeing from you, Alex, because these are the these are the practices, these are the ways of being that we start to incorporate into our everyday life so that we can experience life from a joyful place versus one from a place of survival. Does that make sense? Yeah.
speaker-1: Yeah, and I and then people listening, I realize that the way I'm talking can probably seem so foreign and maybe like I'll never get to that. But the beautiful thing that I have seen others experience with psychedelics or even just arts work with a practitioner is that they are right there with you and very accessible with the right kind of ⁓ you know person guiding you, but also in a safe place or allowing our ego to drop a little. And even the most like people that seemed so like that they would never get to these kind of channeling of their own parts with psychedelics, most people, when I heard their integration integration stories and what they experienced, they were able to meet some of these parts. And once I we open the door, it's wow, what else is there? I guarantee you,
speaker-0: Classes there, yeah.
speaker-1: If you're thinking I'd never be able to do that or I can't do it like she does and name them or have the vision, you don't need to. It will come to you. You don't there's no work you need to do.
speaker-0: With no effort, it will simply arise and become part of your awareness. And if you're slow enough and you're listening with intention and care versus judgment and opinion, you are gonna arrive at these places. Alexandra used the word download. So that's what I use too. When I when something downloads, it's not anything I was trying to make happen. I wasn't meditating for a thing, I wasn't looking for information, and then all of a sudden, and I call it unifying information. This unifying information shows up, and I'm like ⁓ that's so helpful, right? Like it's so really amazing and helpful. And so I appreciate what you're saying to the listeners. Like it doesn't have to look or sound like you, not the Aya experience, not how you talk about your work. This is just one way of being, and I can really see you integrated. That's the thing I'm really enjoying right now. Is there's a way that you're easeful in your body, like your face is really soft as you talk to me. And so what that tells me is that everything that you just shared about your Aya journey and you know, both of them and what happened has been integrated in a way because there's the other thing that's happening too as I look at you is that there's like a central, there's like a there's an image of a column of light. And this happens, I'm noticing it's happening consistently in some of my ⁓ interviews. There's a column of light that just makes up your central core that's right in front of your spine. So I really appreciate you talking about this. Is anything more you want to share? One of the things I have actually my question is w what magic happened after your last journey? What was the magic? Like what's the what yeah, the big reveal.
speaker-1: Uh-huh. it yes so tr and some a little bit of just quick background by the way yeah ⁓ and I I've been diagnosed ⁓ ADHD ⁓ since I was 18 and on medication from a from that age when I started the dieta before I did ayahuasca ⁓ I weaned myself off of it which obviously under the guide of a professional ⁓ and support and ⁓ I had flexibility in my life to be able to do that. and I did not go back on, have yet to be back on the meds. Now that's been a journey in itself. Of course. But we're talking what? 25 years of medication, which have been very helpful. But also, in that time frame, after a major breakup in my early in my late 20s, I was just like on the dating wheel.
speaker-0: Of course.
speaker-1: ⁓ from age twenty seven to forty-three, like six months here. ⁓ you know, untoxic kind of relationships there. And I was really wanting to understand why the getting off the meds was more something personal, but also curiosity on maybe a a life that felt a little lighter before, less productive, a little bit more playful of so getting off those meds, In addition to the Aya experience, and it was literally days after I came back ⁓ going on a hinge date and ⁓ meeting somebody and kind of being more open, something about it felt, ⁓ okay, let's let's do this and safety and we've been together and it's a very serious relationship. Is there correlation between all of that? Yes. Was there also a dis Was there also a decision I made? Yes. Has it been easy? No. No. This is the hardest integration ever. But ⁓ the biggest download from Aya was kind of where to focus the energy of love. ⁓ my ancestors came back, you know. they were giving me kind of a message of where to focus the love for now. ⁓ I'm not a religious person, but I am culturally Jewish, and they were like, let's. I think it'd be amazing if you dated somebody Jewish. Was it my mom who was talking? No, it was not my mom. It was like, but what happened was like during I went back into like my mom's, you know, ⁓ like ⁓ like I went back into her body before she had me and then I saw her go back into ⁓ to my nanas then generation I just was like very quickly until like really fast until ⁓ until I realized that a lot of the suffering
speaker-0: Yeah, really fast.
speaker-1: was they didn't want to be forgotten.
speaker-0: That was revealed to you in your journey.
speaker-1: Yes. Was revealed. We not they weren't apologetic. Thank you. We just didn't want you to forget about us. This was our way of reminding you about who we are. ⁓ we want to support you and and you should live a very happy and free life. You're the first of our gener, you know, first of people that has had this much freedom and safety. And ⁓ you know, ⁓ we want you to live and celebrate and also if you could maybe date someone Jewish for now.
speaker-0: Your mom was probably really stoked about the outcome of that journey.
speaker-1: Yes. And I don't know if this is a long term. It's what I need it now, right? Like it's still building. But I will tell you this integration has been the hardest kind of thing to do yet and the most rewarding for sure. And so beyond grateful ⁓ for the lessons I've learned and the messages that were downloaded and the love that I've received since then, which is is still part of the integration, I guess.
speaker-0: Yeah. Can we talk about that for a second? Because integration is thrown around a lot. And what I'm learning, having, you know, facilitating journeys with clients only for the last two or three years is that integration is so many things. It's kind of like when people talk about resilience or nervous system regulation. It's like, what exactly do you mean by that? So can you talk to us a little bit about My w my first question is what does an integration practice look like or integration practic integration look like for you? Let's just Yeah.
speaker-1: Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Integration looks like that. Integration looks like coming back to your normal life, being in this like really kind of euphoric, spiritual, safe place with all these people that held you in such strong, safe ⁓ place and were part of this euphoric, like extremely beautiful experience and held you through it. And now I'm coming back into this other world like that I knew before but has this world is still looks the same. Yes. But I am not. I am not the same. And how is my life now going to change now that I have changed? That's right. And the integration there that most of the time they recommend is do not make big changes right after you come back.
speaker-0: Within two to three weeks. Don't make those big changes. Correct.
speaker-1: Right. The breakups, the job quitting, the you know
speaker-0: Vinha, Maramão.
speaker-1: Yeah. ⁓ I'm going to use my savings and start my own like you know, ways for people to have, you know, psychedelic experiences. and so it the integration for us in that program was ⁓ that we were meeting weekly and we had kind of buddies that we were partnered with. ⁓ and so there was a lot of weekly integration as well as reflection work. including visioning for your our futures and how we were integrating it into our day-to-day life. The buddy work was ⁓ could have been really helpful for me. The buddy and I weren't really like super aligned from the get-go, although a wonderful person. I didn't feel a sense of connection like I did with some of the other people. So for me, it was important that I made relationships and Myra and I know this well, a relationship that even though it was virtual was very close. Kismet And supporting each other, even through voice notes and calls. And it starts out kind of euphoric and beautiful and soft for a few weeks. And then for me is when the challenges started to appear. the the softness were the kind of things that I felt like were now integrated full time into who I am started to dissipate, and the old parts c came back in stronger. And so it was really important that I had practices. and embodiment work to help me. and that I had also the ⁓ buddies as well as the weekly kind of connection with the ceremony and people that I did it with to help me stay kind of tuned in to those parts. And so ⁓ even though I met someone shortly after I came back, it was still like moving slowly, right? Because this person didn't do ayahuasca. They could not relate to that part of me. And actually I was almost triggered immediately when I met him. So I had to into you know the it was like I just did all this work and you guys gave me this message. Why isn't it all easy? And so the integration part is really key because I think some people think I'm changed and it's going to be easy from this point on. When in fact it's the opposite. And I'm sure some of your listeners probably figured that it's actually when a lot of the harder part comes of how I'm going to change some of my lifestyle. and how I approach things so that these parts now have more room in my day to day.
speaker-0: I mean, something I tell clients consistently, especially in the in the space of psychedelic journeys, I say, you know, the journey is awesome and it's or the journey's going to be what the journey needs to be. But where the discipline and the devotion to your life actually shows up is in the aftermath of it. Is now you're rewired, now you're different. Now you've got some insights and some information that you didn't have before. And what are you going to do to support that shift and change that was part of that? Rewiring or part of that psychedelic journey. So I really appreciate you talking about. I mean, the way that I heard it was like, yeah, the work, it doesn't have to be hard, but it is, it's a practice. Every day you got to show up for yourself, belong like choose to belong to yourself, in your words, and do the things that are going to help you be in alignment with the truth of who you are and your soul's essence. At least that's the way that I heard it from you. So I have a question for you. My question is, especially given the context of your most recent Aya journey, what does being a mystic in everyday life mean to you? What does that look like for you, especially at this this point in your progression? What does being an everyday life mystic mean to you or look like?
speaker-1: Yeah. And when you ask me those that question for the listeners, like my eyes are closed and I'm imagining myself kind of just like walking in my world. I think an everyday mystic allows me to really allow what the universe downloads to me and bringing that into my everyday moments and interactions with the world and the people around it. seeing the light in other people so I can see it in myself. It means being kind and like welcoming in my feelings at any point, but knowing kind of that I'm fully safely protected because I'm never abandoning myself. Being an everyday mystic means like being my weird ass quirky self as much as possible so that I can encourage other people to do that too. Yeah. Yeah. I think in the everyday. the more I lean into really being myself and expressing that as an art. the more permission it gives not only me to live life to the fullest, but others around me as well.
speaker-0: Every everyone around you. So I want to pivot here as we start to wrap up because I want you to talk about the work that you do in the world. So for the listeners, Alex and I met at a mastermind retreat. ⁓ we were in a group together for eight weeks or something like that, and then it ended a retreat where we could meet each other. And we ended up being roommates because we chose each other and we just got along like a house on fire. And in the aftermath of that, I watched you build on Instagram your connection feast, ⁓ your connection feast profile. And one of the things I love about the work that you do in the world is, and this is the way that I think about it, so you'll have to illuminate our listeners, but not only do you help people learn how to be friends with other people, right? And the back the backdrop to that is can they I imagine is but can they belong to themselves? Do they have ways to be connected and and to be able to self-reflect. So you teach people how to make friends, which is enormous. We don't, you know, it's just not a skill that we're taught and we need it. And I've watched your stuff. But the thing I really love about the work that you're doing, especially when you do your live events, is the community that you create. And you talked about it right at the beginning of the interview. Community is, in my opinion, one of the biggest missing links in all of American life. We are so insular in our families, and that's great. I mean, that's really awesome. And when we have a community, a group of people who are invested in the same values or supporting each other, showing up for each other, in my world, that is one of the best ways to create a safe life or a safe enough life is, ⁓ if if I get, if something happens to me, I've got people that are gonna come for me in a good way. So could you talk about the work that you're doing and maybe specifically, even more specifically, like what's really lighting you up about the work that you do in the world?
speaker-1: Thank you, darling. Wow, I feel really seen. So yeah, it's called Connection Feast. ⁓ and I help people ⁓ learn how to connect deeper with themselves in a life that lights them up so they can find the people to live that life with. and so helping people find and build really deeply connected friendships. now, of course, this outpours into all relationships for people, ⁓ family, romantic, work, but my main focus is friendship. and community. Now as a mystic and healer, ⁓ I am a visionary and able to see trends usually about seven to ten years before I see them as something bigger. So I start and mic drop y'all.
speaker-0: Okay.
speaker-1: Okay. ⁓ and I and I ⁓ so I've been building this for a long time before the term social wellness it is called ⁓ is now popular and we have you know tr you know lots of political backing but not doing a much as much ⁓ and people talking about it about community ⁓ but you're correct Western culture America specifically we have a very big problem and so I created this in a sense to help people meet each other ⁓ connect with people that inspire them, go deeper. And ⁓ and it's turned now into this over after, you know, 125 events in person and online, and over 2,000 people have met and connected deeply created friendships or a deeper friendship with themselves. and it's been one of the biggest, most inspiring things that I've worked on. And it's put me in the category of an expert on friendship and becoming a friendship coach. and yes, and it is as quirky as it sounds and super like rewarding and lucrative and people ⁓ are paying to be able to learn and practice the s the social skills needed to create those relationships. Because unfortunately we live in an environment in in Western culture that does not support, like you said, Myra, ⁓ the ability to connect and be in community in a natural way on our individualistic culture. While amazingly beautiful for like what Myra's doing now or what I do and starting our own businesses and getting after it, also has the downfall of potentially being a very isolating life to live based on kind of just how our cities are developed and our culture lives. So, okay, that's the case. How can I then build a life that is centered around community and still be a successful person in my career and still build a mystical inspired? like spiritual life. Still focus on myself, but focus on others. So I help people learn those skills, specifically really practicing the skills ⁓ around being social, ⁓ around how to connect with people, around initiating, not only initiating with people, but initiating in the life that they want to live, which is my number one kind of lesson. Yeah. And getting past rejection and getting more into what's working and how to actually ⁓ with confidence enjoy who you are and just like swim in the pond that is a perfect size for you and that you can find your other fish. ⁓ and so I work with people on how to do this. And to be honest, one of the biggest things we work on is a lot of somatic exercises because so many of us are freaking the F out all the time that when we connect with people, it's not allowing them to come in.
speaker-0: That's right. And when we freak out, we also go right up into our head, which means we can't feel what's happening and or receive love, warmth, connection, all of that stuff coming towards us.
speaker-1: Yes, you know what? The soft skills that our culture has put around that are now the hot skills. They are AI. They are. AI, this isn't going away. It's revving up. And I'm excited for it. But if if people really want the best skills out there, it's the soft skills, learning how to connect, learning how to embody, learning how to really see somebody and accept them for who they are. You're gonna get miles ahead. AI will never be able to learn.
speaker-0: The hotel.
speaker-1: to have the consciousness to do that ever. Yes. Relationships are more important than now and it will continue to be. So that's what I help people with. We just did an immersion which was an all-day beautiful event. I'll be launching something called like a social series where people can practice a lot of these skills consistently and that will be online and I'll focus more on like connection retreats. ⁓ But a lot of the focus is helping people get access to me and to each other and being able to learn live.
speaker-0: Yeah. Right.
speaker-1: ⁓ as well as some recorded lessons and stuff like that. But I'll be launching out social ⁓ series soon and then have a few ⁓ like a couple times that you can do that a week, different days of the week, that you can join some groups and practice these skills together and meet other like-minded folks. And then a lot of accountability on how to create that in person in your environment. so that's what I do. It lights me up and
speaker-0: Lights me up too. Amazing. We're both like shimmying in our shoulders and our chest. Yeah. I mean, I just can't say again how important I think it is the work that you do. And this comes from the lens of working. I specialize in working with adults who have experienced early and ongoing trauma. Sometimes people call that CPTSD. And one of the number one things that I see is their lack of
speaker-1: We're about to take
speaker-0: ability to be in relationship because they're so protected because often their early relationships were not safe, right? ⁓ and so people really need community. And also it's worth noting on the psychedelic front, on the psychedelic journey front, the clients that have the best outcomes for psychedelic journeys are the clients that go home to a community. And even if that's just one safe enough person, one safe enough other person, we'll we're going to call that community because We need, especially women, we need reflections of how we're shifting and who we are and how we went from point A to point F or whatever it might be. So I would love all of my clients to take your course because it's a it's a missing set of skills. When you grow up in unsafe environments as a young person, social skills are not what you know how to do, or the social skills you're using are pretending and posing and just trying to fit in. And you talked about that at the beginning of this. So Thank you for what you do. It's tremendous. I've loved watching your journey over the last four or five years that we've known each other. ⁓ Thank you. And as we wrap up, my dear, and this is going to be in the show notes, but tell everyone where they can find you so that they can sign up for coaching or your immersions or your retreats.
speaker-1: Thank you so much. Yeah, Connection Feast is the name. Yes, like you feast on connection. ⁓ and you can find me on Instagram at at connectionfeast. ⁓ you can also find me at connectionfeast.com. ⁓ I'm definitely all over Instagram being my silly self, a little bit on TikTok. Then you can join my mailing list on connectionfeast.com. You can send me an email as well at Alex at Connection Feast. We can talk about coaching or what might work best for you. And if I'm not, you know, a best service for you, I will honestly let you know and give you a referral of what will. But for now, I'm really excited to work with people mostly in the group context and very few openings for one-on-one. And so that's the best. And if I can offer anything, it's please initiate in your life. Please reach out. Like not reaching out to necessarily me and Myra to be your friend, but reaching out to people in your community that and that you can start building consistent relationships with and using healers and builders like Myra or me to help you. guide you into that so that you can get there at at a at a timing and in a way that feels safe to you is going to be a really beautiful outlet. And so I want to say cheers to community and friendship and ⁓ the ability to really embody a life that is meant for you. Created by you.
speaker-0: I just freaking adore you. The the last thing I'll say before we wrap up is my experience of you consistently, Alex, is is one of two one of delight and playfulness. There's a way that you are quite a bullion in the way that you connect and the way that you talk and the way that you, you know, are in your body. And I just appreciate it so much. And it's it's a reflection of me too, because I'm super playful. And honestly, sometimes I don't get to be super playful because I'm in my role. You know, I'm being a therapist, I'm being the journey person or whatever. it might be. So this has been pure delight for me. Thank you so much for being here.
speaker-1: Thank you so much for having me and for just existing. You are such a light in this world. ⁓ affirmation is my love language, but I feel so lucky that I've crossed paths with you. You really do inspire me. I feel even like beautiful in the world with you. And people who are watching or listening to this, like Myra is the best, the best. And so thank you for helping me see so much beauty in this world and for having me on your show.
speaker-0: Amazing. All right, listeners, have an amazing day. Thanks for being here.
