WEBVTT
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This is a HeadGum Podcast.
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Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance.
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Not checking to see if I can get a custom
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They're swinging away at a donkey, but it would have
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been so much better to get their favorite cartoon character
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from a certain summer blockbuster I may have starred in.
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Yeah, checking first is handsome. So check Allstate First for
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Cheers.
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Hi, it's your friend Tig Notaro. And me, Mae Martin.
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And me, Fortune Feimster.
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Right here on the Handsome Podcast. Still working the kinks out.
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We really nail our intros, I think.
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I know.
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It's really got worse. We're too polite. Yeah.
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We're like, you go. No, you go.
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Yeah. Don't want to step on anything.
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Yeah, very Canadian.
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And then we just step all over everything. Yeah. Aw.
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Like, you know that game where you have to... You
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have to count to 10 without saying a number at
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the same time. You got your eyes closed in a group.
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And so you're like, one.
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Two. I already messed up.
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No, that was it. Why'd you mess up?
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I thought we were supposed to say it at the
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same time.
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No, you're out if you say it at the same time.
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So you close your eyes and you're trying to get
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to 10. Is this fun to listen to?
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Okay.
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Let's try it.
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Ready? One. Two.
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Three. Wait, what's happening?
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Five.
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Six.
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Seven.
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Oh, I fucked it. That's a fun game people can
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play at the family dinner table.
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I don't like games.
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You don't like a leisurely game of Monopoly?
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I mean, if I must. I just really am not
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like going to game night and like all that kind
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of stuff.
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I'm like, oh, I love a game night. Me too.
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I love a game night and I love a gay night.
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Gay games.
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Gay games.
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It's early this morning. Have you had breakfast?
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No breakfast, just coffee.
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It's lunchtime where I am.
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Oh, right.
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Of course, of course, of course. I went to a
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premiere last night.
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What was the premiere?
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I had a late night.
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What was it?
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The Bob Dylan movie.
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Oh, yeah. How was it?
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Really good, really good. My FUBAR co-star, Monica Barbaro, she
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is in it. playing Joan Baez.
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Oh my God.
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Whoa.
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Imagine getting that part.
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Fuck. I know a great part and she killed it.
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She would come to set. She was filming both simultaneously
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at one point and would come to set with her guitar. They,
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she had to learn how to play. They get like
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11 songs and the guitar.
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Or they learn how to play the guitar. Yeah.
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She never played. Okay.
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If you guys were, were playing someone in a biopic,
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who would you want to play?
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All right, fine, Charlize Theron.
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All right, fine.
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Everyone says I'm an old looking Jojo Siwa.
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Who is that?
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She's like a young pop star.
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Oh, you don't know who Jojo Siwa is?
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Like a young queer pop star.
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Yeah.
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She's out now?
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Yeah, that's so funny.
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Yeah, she's like early 20s, right, Mae?
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Yeah, she's young. 21, maybe.
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And you look like an old... What is her name?
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Jojo Siwa.
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Jojo Siwa. She's part of the culture. Yeah. She was
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the kid performer that wore the big bows. Wait, what
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do you mean she's part of the culture?
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Which culture? What culture?
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Just life? People talk about her a ton on TikTok
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and stuff. Oh, okay.
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She was the kid.
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Performer that was huge who wore the big bows. She
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was from Dance Moms.
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Is that where she came from? Okay.
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Yeah. And then she made albums and stuff. And then
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she came out and then... I guess doesn't, now I
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don't think she does the big bow anymore.
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Doesn't do the big bow, but she does do like
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wild dance moves.
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Wait, she came out of the closet?
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Yeah. And her song's, Karma's a bitch, I should have
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known better.
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Okay, I see why people say that about you now. Yeah,
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you've got to do this biopic.
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She does a dance.
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It would be so funny if you did a biopic
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of a living pop star who is 21 and you
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played her.
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She'd be like, why?
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But it'd be fun to do a biopic like what
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you expect is going to happen in the future.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Like that would be a fun movie to do. It's
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like you write where you think this person's life is
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headed and he has old fortune.
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She's watching it and she's like, what? You think I'm
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going to work in a pet store eventually.
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I'm telling you guys when my special came out crashing
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it on netflix sure and i was doing all the
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press like all the comments kept saying this looks like
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or an old.
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I have to see i have to see why this
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person hello you gotta see uh-huh i.
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Would want to play I mean, I'd want to play
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like River Phoenix or something, but who would I be
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good at playing? Probably like Judi Dench or something.
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You'd be good at playing Judi. Let's hear it.
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I can sort of imagine. Yeah. So it starts with,
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I'm like Judi in her late thirties and pottering around England.
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Maybe I'm doing a play or something. And then I
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hit it big and I'm sort of quivering, like smoking
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a cigarette with a quivering hand and kind of being like, well, darling,
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we must get the scripts back. Or else I can't
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do it. She can't do a movie without a script, famously.
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I love that.
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And then what is your River Phoenix, just in case?
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It's sort of, you know, like how I am now. No,
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it's sort of like I would just do the monologue
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from Stand By Me. Where he's like, yeah, I took
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the milk money. You knew I took it. Hell, even
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Vern knew I took it.
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God, even Vern knew.
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Even Vern knew. Who would you play, Tig? Bob, Tom Cruise.
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Bob Dylan, I was going to say, but I think
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you could do a cool Dylan.
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You know who I used to get told that I
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looked like was Ally Sheedy. Remember her? Yeah.
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Was she in Breakfast Club?
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Yeah, she was in Breakfast Club. Oh, maybe I'd be
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Chrissy Hynde from The Pretenders.
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Oh, that would be electric.
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Mm-hmm. Yeah.
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Wiggy, wiggy, wiggy, wiggy.
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And would you do the songs? Would you sing or would.
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You lip sync?
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Oh, I'd have to lip sync. I don't know if you...
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saw me uh sing adele's hello but um yeah no
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i i wouldn't sing but i would i would play
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guitar know how to play.
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Guitar yeah oh that's good and.
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I know chrissy heinz moves like i know hey.
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Go to youtube go to youtube go.
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To youtube i'm doing chrissy heinz yeah tom cruise or
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chrissy heinz But I don't think I can do the
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action and whatever kind of risky stuff that Tom Cruise.
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Risky business.
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I have a couple of motorcycles in real life, but
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I'm not going to drive them off a cliff.
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Sorry, wait. You currently now have a couple of motorcycles?
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Yeah, I have a couple of vintage motorcycles that I'm
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actually going to sell.
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I'll take them off your hands. Do you ride? No,
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but I would learn. And to ride a hog that
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you once rode, I'd love that.
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Not only is it a hog I once rode, but
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you know who owned it two people before me was
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the guitarist of Def Leppard, Phil Collin. What? The blonde,
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the blonde haired, short blonde haired guitar player.
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Wait, not so we can choose a Phil Collins.
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Yeah. Phil Collins, the lead singer drummer of Genesis, completely
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different person. Phil Collin is the, one of the previous owners.
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That's amazing.
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And I have two, two CB Honda CB three fifties.
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They're so adorable. One is from 1969. One is from 1970.
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What?
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And one is gold. And I call that one Goldie Honda. Oh,
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my God. and one is gold and i call that
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one goldie honda oh my god and then the blue
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one it's teal colored blue i call do you want
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to guess.
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Um wait blue honda.
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There's goldie honda and oh kurt Kurt Russell is my
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other one.
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Oh, so it's not a pun on blue.
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It's just Kurt Russell. No, it's just Kurt Russell is
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the other one.
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That's so good.
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So if anyone's interested in buying Goldie Honda and Kurt Russell,
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I will sign it and you can come pick it up.
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That's so funny.
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This might be the gayest conversation we've ever had.
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Is it really?
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Yeah.
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Even when I talked about how hot Pitbull was?
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That was pretty gay.
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That was the least gay we've ever been. Yeah, you
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talking about your motorcycles, your dyke days.
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Yeah.
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I'd be nervous to, well, yeah, I can't even drive
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a car, but I'd be nervous on a motorcycle for sure.
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Please don't ride motorcycles in LA. They're so dangerous.
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So dangerous, right? A big gust of wind. I'm fluttering away.
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Or just a giant car with a... Someone on their phone.
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Yeah. I stopped riding. I stopped riding after I got
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sick in 2012. Um, cause I was like, Oh boy,
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I don't want to push. I don't want to push
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my luck in any direction here. So I stopped riding.
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And then you're on a motorcycle and wipe out. Yeah.
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No, thanks. So I just, I have those bikes that, uh,
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I'm going to clean up and get rid of.
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I rented a scooter once in Switzerland.
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And what was its name?
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I didn't come up with a name for it, but
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I was zipping around that place on this little scooter.
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I thought I was so cool.
254
00:11:45.929 --> 00:11:49.350
It is a really liberating feeling. I had my friend
255
00:11:49.389 --> 00:11:52.250
rented one in Nepal and we drove around and I'm
256
00:11:52.429 --> 00:11:54.490
sure I was close to death so many times.
257
00:11:54.509 --> 00:11:57.250
But it was... Jack's had a scooter in Chicago when
258
00:11:57.289 --> 00:11:57.740
I met her.
259
00:11:58.330 --> 00:11:58.769
Really?
260
00:11:58.789 --> 00:12:02.159
That's a cool image. And so for our first year together...
261
00:12:02.610 --> 00:12:06.179
Some might see us bopping around the city, me riding bitch.
262
00:12:07.539 --> 00:12:10.200
Riding bitch? I've never heard that.
263
00:12:10.240 --> 00:12:12.460
You were riding bitch? You've never heard riding bitch?
264
00:12:12.480 --> 00:12:13.539
I've never heard riding bitch.
265
00:12:13.559 --> 00:12:15.419
Two against one. I was riding bitch behind Jax.
266
00:12:15.440 --> 00:12:16.259
You were riding bitch.
267
00:12:17.350 --> 00:12:19.169
I was holding on for dear life.
268
00:12:19.740 --> 00:12:21.799
Wow. Was she good or was she like.
269
00:12:21.820 --> 00:12:22.480
She was great.
270
00:12:22.799 --> 00:12:23.120
Okay.
271
00:12:23.139 --> 00:12:25.879
She's got those long legs. And so she kept, kept
272
00:12:25.919 --> 00:12:26.759
it steady and.
273
00:12:27.059 --> 00:12:30.730
Well, that's her personality. She, you know, keeping it steady.
274
00:12:30.809 --> 00:12:32.149
She's a steady person.
275
00:12:32.269 --> 00:12:34.850
And then we would go out. It was fun, but
276
00:12:34.909 --> 00:12:37.549
like Chicago's dangerous too.
277
00:12:37.570 --> 00:12:39.690
Yeah.
278
00:12:39.789 --> 00:12:41.149
We would ride it during the day and it would
279
00:12:41.169 --> 00:12:44.490
be gorgeous. And then we'd stay out too late and
280
00:12:44.509 --> 00:12:47.440
it'd be nighttime and, And then it was freezing.
281
00:12:47.700 --> 00:12:50.759
And so we're riding home like shaking.
282
00:12:51.860 --> 00:12:53.139
And did she give you her coat?
283
00:12:55.019 --> 00:12:58.360
No. I've never been colder in my life than on
284
00:12:58.379 --> 00:12:59.340
the back of that scooter.
285
00:12:59.580 --> 00:13:02.419
Would you guys date? I'm just picturing because I was
286
00:13:02.440 --> 00:13:04.220
picturing you guys on the scooter and kind of the
287
00:13:04.240 --> 00:13:06.070
shape of it. And then I was thinking, would you
288
00:13:06.139 --> 00:13:10.129
date a centaur where it was like she's the top
289
00:13:10.169 --> 00:13:12.610
half of her all woman and you're in love with her?
290
00:13:12.629 --> 00:13:17.139
It's Jax and Stephanie. Like you love them. But their
291
00:13:17.159 --> 00:13:18.080
bottom half is horse.
292
00:13:18.399 --> 00:13:22.820
Just don't look down.
293
00:13:23.120 --> 00:13:24.080
That would be hard.
294
00:13:24.320 --> 00:13:25.000
But it's still them.
295
00:13:25.019 --> 00:13:27.580
I can say for sure I would not. Oh, really?
296
00:13:27.600 --> 00:13:30.450
I mean, there's no, like, there's no, like, oh, let
297
00:13:30.490 --> 00:13:31.190
me see.
298
00:13:31.210 --> 00:13:33.049
Till horse goes apart.
299
00:13:33.629 --> 00:13:36.549
You're going to have horse shit all around the house,
300
00:13:37.070 --> 00:13:37.429
you know?
301
00:13:37.450 --> 00:13:39.690
How are they going to get in bed?
302
00:13:39.710 --> 00:13:39.789
Yeah.
303
00:13:40.190 --> 00:13:41.769
How are they going to put pants on?
304
00:13:41.789 --> 00:13:43.289
I mean, oh, I know how you can get them
305
00:13:43.350 --> 00:13:43.789
in bed.
306
00:13:43.809 --> 00:13:44.899
You just go.
307
00:13:47.470 --> 00:13:51.169
Yeah. It feels like at that point, Jax and Stephanie
308
00:13:51.190 --> 00:13:53.269
should be together because they're both centaurs.
309
00:13:53.809 --> 00:13:55.789
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
310
00:13:56.080 --> 00:13:57.049
So it's two against one.
311
00:13:57.250 --> 00:13:58.720
Femme on femme centaurs.
312
00:14:00.279 --> 00:14:02.279
I'm like pretty into it, I think.
313
00:14:02.779 --> 00:14:03.120
You are?
314
00:14:03.519 --> 00:14:08.340
Yeah, like the power, like horsepower, right? Like those rippling muscles.
315
00:14:09.019 --> 00:14:13.860
Yeah, I guess if you're looking for that, this would
316
00:14:13.899 --> 00:14:16.159
be a real dreamy situation.
317
00:14:16.350 --> 00:14:18.210
I didn't know I was looking for that.
318
00:14:18.409 --> 00:14:21.110
Is it Jax and Stephanie or someone else?
319
00:14:21.370 --> 00:14:24.309
Yeah, have you been fantasizing about our wives?
320
00:14:24.669 --> 00:14:25.129
As centaurs?
321
00:14:25.149 --> 00:14:28.720
Because that's fine. I mean, yeah, or even not, you know.
322
00:14:28.759 --> 00:14:30.639
Because we've divorced them at this point, so I guess
323
00:14:30.700 --> 00:14:31.179
it's fine.
324
00:14:31.539 --> 00:14:32.320
Yeah.
325
00:14:32.639 --> 00:14:39.710
I let him off to pasture. Like whoever wants this.
326
00:14:43.450 --> 00:14:46.570
Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance.
327
00:14:46.909 --> 00:14:49.210
Not checking that I put away all my puppets before
328
00:14:49.250 --> 00:14:52.149
going to sleep. That's the stuff of nightmares. I woke
329
00:14:52.210 --> 00:14:53.389
up to get some water in the middle of the
330
00:14:53.429 --> 00:14:55.450
night and I thought an army of tiny folk had
331
00:14:55.509 --> 00:14:56.649
come to life in my house.
332
00:14:56.990 --> 00:14:57.250
Yeah.
333
00:14:57.309 --> 00:14:58.330
Checking first is handsome.
334
00:14:58.750 --> 00:15:00.830
So check Allstate first for an auto quote.
335
00:15:00.990 --> 00:15:04.210
It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate.
336
00:15:04.590 --> 00:15:07.950
Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate,
337
00:15:07.970 --> 00:15:10.529
North American insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.
338
00:15:11.080 --> 00:15:13.639
As we head into the fall, it is the perfect
339
00:15:13.700 --> 00:15:16.879
time to hit reset before the autumn rush. And for me,
340
00:15:17.120 --> 00:15:20.659
that always starts with my wardrobe. Quince proves you don't
341
00:15:20.679 --> 00:15:22.960
need a crowded closet to look incredible. You just need
342
00:15:22.980 --> 00:15:24.000
the right pieces.
343
00:15:24.019 --> 00:15:27.620
I am awesome. awful choosy about my denim, but I
344
00:15:27.659 --> 00:15:31.289
was so impressed by Quince's straight leg jeans. The best
345
00:15:31.330 --> 00:15:34.610
part was the quality, but the other best part was
346
00:15:34.649 --> 00:15:38.789
the price. Their jeans were priced at just $ 50. That's
347
00:15:38.850 --> 00:15:46.440
comparable to $ 245 at traditional retail. That's a 79% savings.
348
00:15:46.899 --> 00:15:49.600
Plus you get an amazing pair of jeans to go
349
00:15:49.639 --> 00:15:53.519
with all your cash. I find myself reaching for my
350
00:15:53.600 --> 00:15:56.679
Quince jeans over and over again. Quince, I'm a fan.
351
00:15:57.639 --> 00:16:00.399
Find the fall pieces you'll reach for most at Quince.
352
00:16:00.620 --> 00:16:04.230
Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to quince.com
353
00:16:04.350 --> 00:16:08.409
slash handsome. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.
354
00:16:08.850 --> 00:16:14.350
Now available in Canada and the UK, too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E
355
00:16:14.429 --> 00:16:19.639
dot com slash handsome. I learned my favorite May fact
356
00:16:19.679 --> 00:16:21.080
I've ever learned the other day.
357
00:16:21.220 --> 00:16:22.659
What is it? Thanks.
358
00:16:23.019 --> 00:16:24.639
Thank you for the enthusiasm.
359
00:16:25.759 --> 00:16:26.860
No, hold on. Yeah.
360
00:16:26.899 --> 00:16:27.860
What is it?
361
00:16:28.539 --> 00:16:29.580
Um, okay.
362
00:16:29.679 --> 00:16:32.250
That was a believable thing.
363
00:16:32.330 --> 00:16:35.539
I want to know. Go to YouTube and see on
364
00:16:35.590 --> 00:16:36.250
my face.
365
00:16:37.139 --> 00:16:40.970
I've never seen your face look more blank. Um, okay.
366
00:16:41.669 --> 00:16:44.250
This is true. I mean, don't Google it, but because
367
00:16:44.429 --> 00:16:47.230
I haven't done in-depth research into it, but I've, From
368
00:16:47.250 --> 00:16:47.929
multiple sources.
369
00:16:47.950 --> 00:16:49.570
So it's a May fact?
370
00:16:49.870 --> 00:16:53.549
Yeah, yeah. So when they were making The Wizard of Oz,
371
00:16:54.129 --> 00:16:57.509
they couldn't find a coat for the wizard. And the
372
00:16:57.529 --> 00:16:59.669
costume department was like, we got to find the perfect
373
00:16:59.710 --> 00:17:03.210
coat for the wizard himself in Oz, like a shabby
374
00:17:03.289 --> 00:17:06.839
but elegant, long, dark green coat. And they were looking everywhere.
375
00:17:06.859 --> 00:17:09.099
They're like, it has to be perfect. They went to
376
00:17:09.140 --> 00:17:11.460
Chicago and New York and met with designers and they
377
00:17:11.480 --> 00:17:13.700
just couldn't find one. Then they were getting on the
378
00:17:13.799 --> 00:17:17.039
train to go back to LA and they go- they
379
00:17:17.059 --> 00:17:19.940
stop in this vintage shop while they're waiting for the
380
00:17:19.980 --> 00:17:22.420
train and they find the perfect coat. It's the coat
381
00:17:22.440 --> 00:17:24.869
that you see in the movie. It's like dark green, long,
382
00:17:25.210 --> 00:17:27.970
perfect coat. They love it. They bring it to the actor.
383
00:17:28.029 --> 00:17:30.009
Frank Morgan is playing the wizard.
384
00:17:30.450 --> 00:17:32.650
And you don't know if this is true. I've seen
385
00:17:32.690 --> 00:17:33.589
detailed story.
386
00:17:34.269 --> 00:17:38.630
I've seen multiple articles. So that's what I'm going with. Uh,
387
00:17:38.890 --> 00:17:40.789
I don't want to know if it's debunked, you know
388
00:17:40.809 --> 00:17:44.000
what I mean? But multiple sources. So he puts it
389
00:17:44.160 --> 00:17:46.880
on and he's like, I love it. It fits him perfectly.
390
00:17:46.920 --> 00:17:49.380
But he's like, it is hot and I'm sweating a lot.
391
00:17:49.400 --> 00:17:51.960
And they're like, okay, we'll take the lining out. They
392
00:17:51.980 --> 00:17:53.869
go to take the lining out and there's a name
393
00:17:54.569 --> 00:17:56.130
badge sewn into it.
394
00:17:57.009 --> 00:17:58.049
And the name is?
395
00:17:58.069 --> 00:17:59.309
Dorothy.
396
00:17:59.329 --> 00:18:01.880
Frank L. Baum, the writer of the books.
397
00:18:01.890 --> 00:18:02.099
The writer.
398
00:18:02.619 --> 00:18:05.420
The writer of Wizard of Oz. And they contact his
399
00:18:05.460 --> 00:18:08.019
widow and they say, we found this coat. Did this
400
00:18:08.079 --> 00:18:10.980
belong to Frank Bob? She's like, yes. She has photographs
401
00:18:11.039 --> 00:18:13.579
of him wearing it. And that's the coat that they
402
00:18:13.619 --> 00:18:14.299
wear in the movie.
403
00:18:14.640 --> 00:18:18.289
No way. That's so, that is insane if that is true.
404
00:18:18.670 --> 00:18:21.109
It's even insane if it's not true. Yeah.
405
00:18:21.430 --> 00:18:23.789
It's more insane if it's not true because somebody.
406
00:18:24.049 --> 00:18:27.410
But it's more crazy if it is true. I know.
407
00:18:27.769 --> 00:18:30.789
That's where the name Alphaba came from for Wicked.
408
00:18:31.029 --> 00:18:31.410
What do you mean?
409
00:18:31.430 --> 00:18:31.589
Frank.
410
00:18:32.039 --> 00:18:35.599
L bomb it was the closest thing he could get
411
00:18:35.619 --> 00:18:40.009
the person who wrote wicked yeah it said it was
412
00:18:40.089 --> 00:18:43.109
like the closest he could get to sounding like frank
413
00:18:43.190 --> 00:18:44.650
l bomb alpha.
414
00:18:44.529 --> 00:18:50.190
Um i had a really interesting crazy thing happen tell
415
00:18:50.309 --> 00:18:54.359
me this was years ago and before i tell this
416
00:18:54.420 --> 00:18:58.740
story i need Both of you to not doubt this
417
00:18:59.079 --> 00:19:04.519
because I'm 1 million percent positive this is correct.
418
00:19:05.039 --> 00:19:08.420
I don't doubt anything ever. That's why I live in
419
00:19:08.440 --> 00:19:09.660
this magical world.
420
00:19:09.680 --> 00:19:11.160
Okay.
421
00:19:12.059 --> 00:19:15.309
When I was in high school, my mother got me
422
00:19:16.029 --> 00:19:22.630
some hiking boots. The company was called High Tech and
423
00:19:22.690 --> 00:19:24.609
they were purple. Purple.
424
00:19:25.660 --> 00:19:25.980
Okay.
425
00:19:27.220 --> 00:19:31.940
Not my favorite color, but whatever. I wore them. I
426
00:19:31.960 --> 00:19:35.829
had them for years. And even though I didn't love
427
00:19:35.869 --> 00:19:39.069
the color, they grew on me. I wore them forever.
428
00:19:40.349 --> 00:19:44.730
So the sole of the shoe, the rubber starts to
429
00:19:44.789 --> 00:19:49.369
peel apart from one of my high-tech hiking boots to
430
00:19:49.410 --> 00:19:53.640
where when I walked with it, it flipped, flopped. And
431
00:19:53.779 --> 00:19:57.299
so I was like, I think it's time to get
432
00:19:57.359 --> 00:20:02.210
rid of these. So something I often do with clothes,
433
00:20:02.450 --> 00:20:05.109
instead of donating to like Goodwill, I'll go to like
434
00:20:05.759 --> 00:20:08.700
a closed dumpster or something and put it on top
435
00:20:08.720 --> 00:20:11.680
of the dumpster around the dumpster. Just, you know, for
436
00:20:11.740 --> 00:20:12.440
people to take.
437
00:20:12.460 --> 00:20:12.900
Okay.
438
00:20:14.539 --> 00:20:17.839
I did that. I put my high tech shoes.
439
00:20:18.740 --> 00:20:19.240
I have goosebumps.
440
00:20:19.279 --> 00:20:19.819
On a dumpster.
441
00:20:19.839 --> 00:20:22.920
You're like, somebody's going to want this floppy boot.
442
00:20:24.599 --> 00:20:30.069
A couple of years later, I am walking. May. I
443
00:20:30.109 --> 00:20:35.150
am walking down sunset Boulevard. Yeah. And, and, A woman
444
00:20:35.490 --> 00:20:42.160
pushing a grocery cart down Sunset Boulevard, who I believe was,
445
00:20:42.960 --> 00:20:49.660
you know, unhoused, was wearing purple high-tech hiking boots with
446
00:20:49.980 --> 00:20:56.170
one shoe with a sole that was flopping as she walked.
447
00:20:56.930 --> 00:21:02.289
And I was like, oh my God, there are my
448
00:21:02.490 --> 00:21:03.829
high-tech hiking boots.
449
00:21:04.349 --> 00:21:08.799
From high school i believe come on i i believe
450
00:21:08.839 --> 00:21:10.279
it a hundred percent so i've.
451
00:21:10.220 --> 00:21:13.240
Told people that story and they're like i doubt those
452
00:21:13.279 --> 00:21:20.519
were your high tech and i'm like those were my shoes.
453
00:21:20.329 --> 00:21:23.930
What if those shoes all came loose so anyone who
454
00:21:23.990 --> 00:21:28.589
has a pair has one floppy shoe no you know
455
00:21:28.609 --> 00:21:31.799
your shoes people You know your shoes.
456
00:21:31.900 --> 00:21:35.059
It was such a specific look, these hiking. And they
457
00:21:35.079 --> 00:21:38.619
were so from, you know, the, I don't know if
458
00:21:38.900 --> 00:21:40.890
it was late 80s, you know?
459
00:21:41.150 --> 00:21:41.369
Yeah.
460
00:21:41.690 --> 00:21:44.470
I'm telling you, these were my shoes.
461
00:21:44.670 --> 00:21:46.549
Were you tempted to be like, hey, where'd you get those?
462
00:21:48.049 --> 00:21:53.650
No, I was not. Because I'm certain that maybe she
463
00:21:53.670 --> 00:21:56.329
didn't even get them from the dumpster that I left
464
00:21:56.369 --> 00:21:59.670
them at. Maybe they were somewhere else. But I probably
465
00:21:59.769 --> 00:22:02.430
should have, now that I'm telling a story, I should
466
00:22:02.450 --> 00:22:06.359
have probably glued them before I donated them on top
467
00:22:06.450 --> 00:22:12.380
of a dumpster, but I didn't. Okay. I'm a terrible person. But,
468
00:22:12.920 --> 00:22:16.460
but that was a crazy, like, wow. It was, it
469
00:22:16.480 --> 00:22:18.079
was one of the wildest things.
470
00:22:18.480 --> 00:22:19.000
I love that.
471
00:22:19.059 --> 00:22:21.279
Seeing that all those years later.
472
00:22:21.299 --> 00:22:23.599
I once did a sketch at the Groundlings where I
473
00:22:23.619 --> 00:22:26.880
played a Girl Scout. Did I tell you the story
474
00:22:26.900 --> 00:22:27.900
about Kristen Wiig?
475
00:22:28.460 --> 00:22:29.230
No, I don't think so.
476
00:22:29.710 --> 00:22:31.950
Well, of course I was playing a Girl Scout. Shout
477
00:22:31.990 --> 00:22:32.789
out Girl Scouts.
478
00:22:32.809 --> 00:22:33.670
Oh, boy.
479
00:22:33.690 --> 00:22:35.509
You know those were my glory days.
480
00:22:35.690 --> 00:22:36.150
Yes.
481
00:22:38.009 --> 00:22:41.970
And I played a Girl Scout who was getting interrogated
482
00:22:41.990 --> 00:22:43.539
because she ate all the cookies.
483
00:22:44.180 --> 00:22:45.079
I'm sold.
484
00:22:45.160 --> 00:22:45.519
I'm in.
485
00:22:46.380 --> 00:22:48.460
I will watch an hour of that.
486
00:22:48.940 --> 00:22:52.380
And I had chocolate all over my face saying, I
487
00:22:52.440 --> 00:22:57.150
didn't eat the cookies. Who ate the cookies? And Kristen...
488
00:22:57.269 --> 00:23:00.529
Kristen Wiig was in the audience and afterwards she said,
489
00:23:00.549 --> 00:23:03.609
I couldn't pay attention at all during that sketch because
490
00:23:04.619 --> 00:23:10.539
you were using my childhood book bag or whatever you
491
00:23:10.579 --> 00:23:13.640
call a satchel. You know what I'm talking about?
492
00:23:14.119 --> 00:23:14.579
Yeah. Yeah.
493
00:23:14.619 --> 00:23:18.269
Yeah. So she had cleaned out her closet when she
494
00:23:18.309 --> 00:23:20.630
was in the groundlings and just threw a bunch of
495
00:23:20.670 --> 00:23:23.430
stuff in the attic. Oh, how funny. In case anybody
496
00:23:23.470 --> 00:23:27.210
needed them. But for years, like it was like, a
497
00:23:27.269 --> 00:23:29.650
mess and no one knew what anything was and I
498
00:23:29.890 --> 00:23:33.890
was broke. So I went up there to scour through
499
00:23:33.930 --> 00:23:38.690
all the stuff for sketches. for costumes and stuff and
500
00:23:38.730 --> 00:23:41.430
just grabbed a book bag at one point that's crazy
501
00:23:41.470 --> 00:23:44.710
it was her childhood book bag that she'd used from
502
00:23:44.769 --> 00:23:48.069
like five years old till high school and.
503
00:23:48.329 --> 00:23:50.509
Five years old till high school.
504
00:23:50.569 --> 00:23:53.390
Yeah she she said she used to like her whole
505
00:23:54.009 --> 00:23:57.670
childhood oh my god and then tossed it in there
506
00:23:57.910 --> 00:24:00.970
and i'm in the sketch and she's like staring at
507
00:24:01.049 --> 00:24:03.970
her old book bag that's.
508
00:24:03.410 --> 00:24:05.859
Hilarious this kind of thing like did you see there
509
00:24:05.880 --> 00:24:08.759
was a thing online that they found behind a locker
510
00:24:08.859 --> 00:24:11.740
in a high school a purse belonging to a student
511
00:24:11.759 --> 00:24:14.369
from the 1950s and they opened it up and all
512
00:24:14.390 --> 00:24:16.289
her stuff was in there and it was all like
513
00:24:17.339 --> 00:24:20.440
a a pen a ticket to the mardi gras or
514
00:24:20.460 --> 00:24:23.880
like like it was 1950s stuff not that was a
515
00:24:23.900 --> 00:24:24.920
bad example but you know a.
516
00:24:24.880 --> 00:24:29.869
Ticket to the mardi gras a pen and a ticket
517
00:24:29.890 --> 00:24:31.029
to the mardi gras.
518
00:24:31.009 --> 00:24:33.130
I do love the idea of like a time capsule
519
00:24:33.309 --> 00:24:34.509
no one does that anymore um.
520
00:24:34.950 --> 00:24:39.700
I just for my own life I have an ongoing
521
00:24:39.799 --> 00:24:40.619
time capsule.
522
00:24:40.839 --> 00:24:42.599
But do you bury it in your backyard?
523
00:24:43.119 --> 00:24:45.839
No, I have it in my garage and it's something
524
00:24:45.880 --> 00:24:48.960
I go through regularly. And then I, I get rid
525
00:24:49.029 --> 00:24:52.130
of some things that I don't feel attached to.
526
00:24:52.170 --> 00:24:52.910
Connected to.
527
00:24:53.230 --> 00:24:59.130
And yeah. And when I pack my time capsule, anything
528
00:24:59.150 --> 00:25:02.970
that's in there, I feel attached to in my past.
529
00:25:03.549 --> 00:25:06.119
And then, And then each time I go through it,
530
00:25:06.299 --> 00:25:09.180
I'm less attached to certain things and we'll get rid
531
00:25:09.220 --> 00:25:12.079
of them. But I have a time capsule. It's not buried,
532
00:25:12.119 --> 00:25:13.700
but it is in my garage.
533
00:25:13.759 --> 00:25:16.640
I can't believe you have one. That's pretty cool.
534
00:25:16.660 --> 00:25:20.480
Is it like a scrapbook? Like you're gluing stuff in?
535
00:25:21.200 --> 00:25:28.680
No, it's like a cabinet. Cool. Yeah. So anyway.
536
00:25:28.819 --> 00:25:30.660
Do you have any old Ponti's in there?
537
00:25:31.200 --> 00:25:36.049
It's only old Ponti's. It's just all Ponty Bonnets.
538
00:25:36.069 --> 00:25:38.630
I don't feel as attached to these Ponty's anymore.
539
00:25:39.869 --> 00:25:44.799
You measure out your life according to your Ponty's. What
540
00:25:44.839 --> 00:25:46.430
would our handsome time capsule be?
541
00:25:46.940 --> 00:25:49.059
Well, Girl Scout cookies.
542
00:25:49.440 --> 00:25:52.519
Someone told me last night at the premiere that being
543
00:25:52.559 --> 00:25:56.319
a pineapple apart lives rent-free in their head. Oh, that's great.
544
00:25:56.339 --> 00:25:57.599
We'd have to have a pineapple.
545
00:25:57.619 --> 00:26:00.559
That's very perishable, though.
546
00:26:01.279 --> 00:26:02.000
It might rot.
547
00:26:02.019 --> 00:26:03.680
So far, this is all perishable fruit.
548
00:26:03.720 --> 00:26:05.430
And also a propeller hat.
549
00:26:05.509 --> 00:26:06.250
Propeller hat.
550
00:26:06.289 --> 00:26:07.009
Yeah, propeller hat.
551
00:26:07.569 --> 00:26:09.890
A little cowboy. Some of our merch, probably.
552
00:26:09.910 --> 00:26:11.049
Yeah, it's just our merch.
553
00:26:11.069 --> 00:26:12.430
Our handsome hoodie and our.
554
00:26:12.410 --> 00:26:18.950
Little cowboy hat. Cowboy hat. A propeller hat, ponties. Lots
555
00:26:19.019 --> 00:26:22.559
of ponties. And Fortune's Girl Scout uniform.
556
00:26:22.940 --> 00:26:25.779
Yeah. I actually think I still have the sash.
557
00:26:26.180 --> 00:26:29.000
Do you really? Okay, that's going in. Yeah, come on.
558
00:26:29.660 --> 00:26:34.079
Can we put one of Fortune's plastic plants in? This
559
00:26:34.460 --> 00:26:35.359
guy's ready to go.
560
00:26:35.380 --> 00:26:37.700
How many plastic plants do you have?
561
00:26:38.140 --> 00:26:38.460
Two.
562
00:26:38.619 --> 00:26:38.900
Two.
563
00:26:38.920 --> 00:26:44.430
Two. I have two.
564
00:26:45.009 --> 00:26:45.930
Guys, I've been.
565
00:26:45.789 --> 00:26:48.069
Trying to hide my accent all this time.
566
00:26:48.410 --> 00:26:51.230
It just slipped out. I have two.
567
00:26:51.549 --> 00:26:52.730
I have two.
568
00:26:53.170 --> 00:26:54.990
I have two plants.
569
00:26:56.390 --> 00:26:59.809
I don't know why it came out like that. This
570
00:26:59.970 --> 00:27:02.930
one here. Oh, no, three. We have three.
571
00:27:02.950 --> 00:27:03.049
Three.
572
00:27:03.430 --> 00:27:06.440
Three. Three plants.
573
00:27:06.480 --> 00:27:09.960
Three plants. Three plants.
574
00:27:10.079 --> 00:27:13.099
And they all look great. Yes, yes.
575
00:27:13.119 --> 00:27:15.819
How boring would my background be right now if I
576
00:27:15.880 --> 00:27:19.289
didn't have this fake paddle plant?
577
00:27:19.950 --> 00:27:21.670
Oh, you know what we should also put in our
578
00:27:21.710 --> 00:27:24.269
time capsule is a ghost. A ghost.
579
00:27:25.450 --> 00:27:26.109
Yeah, I guess.
580
00:27:26.369 --> 00:27:27.450
Yeah, I guess.
581
00:27:27.650 --> 00:27:28.380
Yeah, I guess.
582
00:27:28.559 --> 00:27:29.930
Do you guys want to pull a tarot card?
583
00:27:30.559 --> 00:27:31.240
Yeah, please.
584
00:27:31.619 --> 00:27:34.539
I bought this little deck. Yeah, I guess. I bought
585
00:27:34.559 --> 00:27:36.569
this deck and I said to myself when I bought it,
586
00:27:36.960 --> 00:27:39.019
wouldn't it be cool if I had this till I died? Like,
587
00:27:39.039 --> 00:27:41.539
I don't treat my belongings very well. And I thought,
588
00:27:41.759 --> 00:27:44.500
I'm going to be buried with this deck.
589
00:27:44.380 --> 00:27:45.059
Of tarot cards.
590
00:27:45.539 --> 00:27:47.579
It's going to be like Kristen Wiig's backpack.
591
00:27:47.740 --> 00:27:50.559
Yeah. Okay, what question should we ask the deck?
592
00:27:52.440 --> 00:27:53.160
I want to know.
593
00:27:53.200 --> 00:27:54.259
Will we go past April?
594
00:27:55.339 --> 00:27:57.819
Yeah. Are we going to make it past April? Is
595
00:27:57.859 --> 00:28:00.450
this a group question or is this our own?
596
00:28:00.470 --> 00:28:02.630
Oh, we could do singles.
597
00:28:02.650 --> 00:28:06.150
Do you have something on your mind, Tidge? I do.
598
00:28:06.170 --> 00:28:09.230
I want to know, am I going to be based
599
00:28:09.609 --> 00:28:12.599
in Los Angeles or Toronto next year?
600
00:28:14.240 --> 00:28:15.019
You mean this year, 2025?
601
00:28:15.000 --> 00:28:15.259
2025. Wow. Okay.
602
00:28:15.319 --> 00:28:15.480
Okay.
603
00:28:20.630 --> 00:28:23.809
You tell me when, because I'm sort of ruffling around.
604
00:28:23.829 --> 00:28:26.130
I'm tired of you being in Toronto.
605
00:28:26.630 --> 00:28:27.740
Fortune's sick of it.
606
00:28:28.990 --> 00:28:29.509
Okay, now.
607
00:28:30.349 --> 00:28:31.750
Oh, love it. Okay.
608
00:28:32.289 --> 00:28:34.799
I'm running into your wife at events by herself.
609
00:28:34.880 --> 00:28:40.539
Wow. It's the major arcana. It's the magician. And I
610
00:28:40.559 --> 00:28:44.859
don't know if any of our listeners really know like tarot, anything,
611
00:28:45.019 --> 00:28:49.539
really know anything. Please tell. Because, okay, I'm Googling the
612
00:28:49.579 --> 00:28:52.319
magician because I lost the little book that says... No,
613
00:28:52.359 --> 00:28:53.299
you need the book.
614
00:28:53.319 --> 00:28:54.299
The book's important.
615
00:28:54.319 --> 00:28:56.119
I think it's in the other room.
616
00:28:56.140 --> 00:28:59.049
Wait, I want my money back. It's another room. I
617
00:28:59.069 --> 00:29:00.150
don't want to get up and get it.
618
00:29:00.230 --> 00:29:01.950
You pull a card and Google?
619
00:29:02.349 --> 00:29:04.910
It feels less magical when Google's involved.
620
00:29:05.130 --> 00:29:07.430
Yeah, it's like, I could Google, am I going to
621
00:29:07.450 --> 00:29:09.309
be in Toronto or LA next year?
622
00:29:09.329 --> 00:29:12.109
I need a leather-bound book telling me this.
623
00:29:12.549 --> 00:29:22.430
Okay, the magician... Power, influence, willpower, resourcefulness, skill, ability, logic, intellect, concentration,
624
00:29:22.990 --> 00:29:26.490
and psychic powers. This is a very strong card, Tig.
625
00:29:27.089 --> 00:29:28.549
But in terms of travel.
626
00:29:28.970 --> 00:29:32.009
Not travel. Will I be based here?
627
00:29:32.029 --> 00:29:35.230
I don't know where you'll be. You'll be powerful. Okay.
628
00:29:35.470 --> 00:29:37.589
We have more questions than we started with.
629
00:29:37.910 --> 00:29:39.430
And I'm really Googling hard here.
630
00:29:39.450 --> 00:29:42.190
No, I... can tell look at your face i have
631
00:29:42.250 --> 00:29:47.259
truly never seen somebody google that hard in public especially
632
00:29:47.279 --> 00:29:52.819
i know in public just publicly googling go to youtube
633
00:29:52.859 --> 00:29:55.500
if you want to see what may looks like googling
634
00:29:55.680 --> 00:29:59.660
really hard in public i mean this is it's uncomfortable
635
00:30:00.400 --> 00:30:01.140
I just.
636
00:30:01.039 --> 00:30:03.740
Love the enthusiasm of like this card.
637
00:30:03.759 --> 00:30:04.509
Oh my God.
638
00:30:05.529 --> 00:30:08.109
Is this a good card? And then we're like, what.
639
00:30:07.970 --> 00:30:08.430
Does it mean?
640
00:30:09.230 --> 00:30:12.210
It says you, okay. You're, you might feel unsure about
641
00:30:12.250 --> 00:30:14.750
what to do, but in simple words, the magician card
642
00:30:15.009 --> 00:30:17.430
is like a magic wand. It can mean making your
643
00:30:17.470 --> 00:30:20.589
dreams come true, healing in your life, thinking about spiritual
644
00:30:20.630 --> 00:30:24.029
things and feeling a connection to something special in love.
645
00:30:24.089 --> 00:30:27.650
It's about turning your romantic wishes into reality. It's kind
646
00:30:27.670 --> 00:30:29.329
of saying you can do whatever you want.
647
00:30:29.349 --> 00:30:30.150
You can do what you want.
648
00:30:30.190 --> 00:30:31.130
Yeah. Great.
649
00:30:31.750 --> 00:30:32.109
There we go.
650
00:30:32.130 --> 00:30:33.450
All right. That's all I need to hear.
651
00:30:33.470 --> 00:30:34.049
I can do whatever I want.
652
00:30:34.069 --> 00:30:35.529
You can do what you want, Teg.
653
00:30:35.569 --> 00:30:36.529
You're the boss of you.
654
00:30:36.910 --> 00:30:37.869
Okay. Thank you.
655
00:30:38.190 --> 00:30:39.230
Fortune, you want to do a quick one?
656
00:30:39.910 --> 00:30:41.190
Jax is the boss of you.
657
00:30:43.579 --> 00:30:44.730
She's the boss.
658
00:30:45.500 --> 00:30:47.339
She ain't the boss. Sure.
659
00:30:47.599 --> 00:30:49.839
That one was very successful. Let's continue.
660
00:30:52.170 --> 00:30:52.799
Oh, man.
661
00:30:53.140 --> 00:30:55.579
All right. And pull. Oh, wait.
662
00:30:55.700 --> 00:30:57.759
What did you ask it? Or do you don't have
663
00:30:57.779 --> 00:30:58.160
to tell us?
664
00:30:58.160 --> 00:31:03.200
Oh, yeah. I didn't think a question was important.
665
00:31:03.509 --> 00:31:06.089
Just pull.
666
00:31:06.750 --> 00:31:08.150
Does anyone have a question for me?
667
00:31:08.630 --> 00:31:10.049
What will you.
668
00:31:10.369 --> 00:31:11.529
Will fortune be treading?
669
00:31:12.049 --> 00:31:13.069
Treading and shredding?
670
00:31:13.109 --> 00:31:14.450
Just in general for.
671
00:31:14.630 --> 00:31:18.000
Treading and shredding. Will it be a year of good health? Okay.
672
00:31:18.220 --> 00:31:18.799
You tell me when.
673
00:31:20.200 --> 00:31:20.400
Now.
674
00:31:20.890 --> 00:31:25.930
The sun. Oh, this is a very auspicious card. This
675
00:31:25.950 --> 00:31:29.049
is a very important auspicious card.
676
00:31:29.069 --> 00:31:29.150
Okay.
677
00:31:29.880 --> 00:31:33.880
I'll just have to Google it. Because I'm outside treading?
678
00:31:33.900 --> 00:31:36.259
I just have to Google it.
679
00:31:37.119 --> 00:31:37.700
The sun.
680
00:31:38.299 --> 00:31:39.079
I'm really crazy.
681
00:31:39.700 --> 00:31:42.769
I love the idea of some kind of psychic. Doing
682
00:31:42.809 --> 00:31:45.940
this for people and just saying, okay, let me Google this.
683
00:31:46.420 --> 00:31:48.859
No, this is really direct. When it comes to health,
684
00:31:49.039 --> 00:31:52.059
the sun card is a positive sign. It represents energy, balance,
685
00:31:52.119 --> 00:31:55.259
and overall well-being. If you've been unwell, this card suggests
686
00:31:55.279 --> 00:31:58.849
a speedy recovery and feeling better than before. It also
687
00:31:58.869 --> 00:32:00.950
indicates personal growth and development.
688
00:32:01.210 --> 00:32:02.450
This feels like it fits.
689
00:32:02.470 --> 00:32:03.329
Yeah, it does.
690
00:32:03.349 --> 00:32:05.730
That card feels like it fits. Tig was like, I
691
00:32:05.750 --> 00:32:08.309
don't really know what Tig's card was doing, but mine...
692
00:32:08.589 --> 00:32:10.349
Seems like it's on track.
693
00:32:10.470 --> 00:32:11.589
It's right in the pocket.
694
00:32:11.869 --> 00:32:14.009
I think Tig's card was actually very on point because
695
00:32:14.029 --> 00:32:17.130
it was being like, you are thinking about this the
696
00:32:17.170 --> 00:32:19.400
wrong way. You're thinking like, what will happen to me?
697
00:32:19.599 --> 00:32:22.380
And it's actually in your hands. You have the power.
698
00:32:22.400 --> 00:32:26.119
There you go, May. Way to turn the beat around.
699
00:32:26.319 --> 00:32:28.180
Turn the beat around.
700
00:32:28.539 --> 00:32:29.880
Can you read for yourself?
701
00:32:30.539 --> 00:32:32.569
Real quick, if everyone's still into it, I can.
702
00:32:33.269 --> 00:32:36.170
Everyone is literally on the edge of their seats.
703
00:32:36.609 --> 00:32:37.390
Okay, well.
704
00:32:38.819 --> 00:32:41.559
Okay, I'm asking it. I want to ask it about love.
705
00:32:41.579 --> 00:32:43.319
That's all I really care about.
706
00:32:43.319 --> 00:32:43.720
2025, right?
707
00:32:44.579 --> 00:32:47.240
Yeah, 2025. All I care about in my life is love,
708
00:32:47.579 --> 00:32:48.160
and it's a problem.
709
00:32:48.180 --> 00:32:51.890
And what are you asking specifically? Because when you set intentions,
710
00:32:51.970 --> 00:32:53.069
they have to be specific.
711
00:32:53.609 --> 00:32:56.289
I'm asking for a card that will show me my
712
00:32:56.329 --> 00:33:00.349
best approach. What will yield the best outcome for me
713
00:33:00.529 --> 00:33:03.910
in terms of that area of my life? How should
714
00:33:03.970 --> 00:33:05.269
I approach it? Okay, ready?
715
00:33:05.490 --> 00:33:06.769
Okay, there you go.
716
00:33:08.380 --> 00:33:13.480
Drum roll. What is it? The Ace of Wands. A
717
00:33:13.660 --> 00:33:16.240
very auspicious card.
718
00:33:16.339 --> 00:33:19.980
Another auspicious card. What does this mean?
719
00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:23.420
Okay, the Ace of... We can cut out the Googling, right?
720
00:33:24.009 --> 00:33:25.410
The Ace of Wands.
721
00:33:26.029 --> 00:33:30.150
Cut out the Googling? Then what are we even doing?
722
00:33:36.349 --> 00:33:37.670
Usually Fortune's the Googler.
723
00:33:38.329 --> 00:33:38.609
Oh, okay.
724
00:33:38.630 --> 00:33:39.450
I do like to Google.
725
00:33:39.789 --> 00:33:41.890
In a tarot reading, the Ace of Wands can mean
726
00:33:42.009 --> 00:33:44.539
a new chapter in a relationship or the start of
727
00:33:44.579 --> 00:33:45.759
an exciting phase.
728
00:33:46.240 --> 00:33:49.519
A new chapter. So it sounds like.
729
00:33:50.119 --> 00:33:53.299
The Ace of Wands can represent creativity, excitement, adventure, courage,
730
00:33:53.339 --> 00:33:56.440
and personal power. Ace of Wands feels positive.
731
00:33:57.160 --> 00:33:57.660
Yes.
732
00:33:57.940 --> 00:34:00.059
Well, thank you guys for indulging.
733
00:34:00.119 --> 00:34:02.299
I think we should probably get to our question, right?
734
00:34:02.720 --> 00:34:03.119
Yes, please.
735
00:34:03.140 --> 00:34:08.489
Sure. Today's questioner is a Grammy and Oscar winning musician
736
00:34:08.530 --> 00:34:13.139
whose albums include Never Enough, Yes I Am, and most
737
00:34:13.219 --> 00:34:17.659
recently a collaborative release with Jewel. She's also known for
738
00:34:17.699 --> 00:34:21.559
her activism for gay and environmental issues throughout her career.
739
00:34:21.599 --> 00:34:25.420
Melissa Etheridge is asking today's question.
740
00:34:25.929 --> 00:34:27.130
Huge for the pod.
741
00:34:27.690 --> 00:34:28.250
Huge.
742
00:34:28.610 --> 00:34:29.510
Huge for the world.
743
00:34:29.829 --> 00:34:34.659
When we asked for a question, did we say, Come
744
00:34:34.769 --> 00:34:37.769
to my window.
745
00:34:37.789 --> 00:34:40.150
Come inside.
746
00:34:40.869 --> 00:34:45.550
Wait by the light of the moon.
747
00:34:46.409 --> 00:34:47.619
Oh, my God.
748
00:34:47.699 --> 00:34:48.900
Was that just like Melissa?
749
00:34:48.940 --> 00:34:54.519
That was beautiful, Fortune. I think that on this podcast,
750
00:34:54.679 --> 00:34:59.480
I was talking about like, what a On a previous episode,
751
00:34:59.559 --> 00:35:02.099
I think it was, this show, I was talking about
752
00:35:02.599 --> 00:35:08.639
what a major baller move to just be like, come
753
00:35:08.679 --> 00:35:12.599
to my window, wait by the light of the moon,
754
00:35:12.619 --> 00:35:16.760
I'll be home soon. Just come sit and hang out
755
00:35:16.980 --> 00:35:18.780
by my window. That is so true.
756
00:35:18.820 --> 00:35:21.179
I think you talked about that at a live episode.
757
00:35:21.480 --> 00:35:24.809
Okay. Well, I think about it all the time. I'm like, man.
758
00:35:25.969 --> 00:35:27.690
Melissa Etheridge is like.
759
00:35:27.750 --> 00:35:29.329
I don't know when I'm going to be home.
760
00:35:29.349 --> 00:35:31.070
She seems very confident to me.
761
00:35:31.510 --> 00:35:32.289
Oh, for sure.
762
00:35:32.309 --> 00:35:35.409
Oh, she's also got that, I'm the only one. That's
763
00:35:35.469 --> 00:35:37.469
pretty confident being like, I'm the only one.
764
00:35:38.150 --> 00:35:38.590
Yeah.
765
00:35:38.949 --> 00:35:39.739
Yeah.
766
00:35:39.820 --> 00:35:43.300
You can do whoever you want, but she sits by
767
00:35:43.320 --> 00:35:45.659
my window. Yeah. Yeah.
768
00:35:46.039 --> 00:35:48.900
I have no idea when I'm going to be home.
769
00:35:49.179 --> 00:35:49.639
I don't know.
770
00:35:49.659 --> 00:35:50.219
Can you imagine?
771
00:35:50.320 --> 00:35:52.039
I'm out. I'm out for the night.
772
00:35:52.059 --> 00:35:56.989
Can you imagine Melissa all, I mean- Lesbian rock star. Uh-huh.
773
00:35:57.489 --> 00:36:01.030
Selling out those big old venues. The lesbians must have
774
00:36:01.050 --> 00:36:03.289
been just throwing themselves at her.
775
00:36:03.730 --> 00:36:07.110
You know, I went to see Melissa Etheridge when I
776
00:36:07.269 --> 00:36:10.929
first moved to Denver when I was 19. I went
777
00:36:10.989 --> 00:36:11.829
to Red Rocks.
778
00:36:12.369 --> 00:36:13.050
Whoa.
779
00:36:13.449 --> 00:36:14.190
That's cool.
780
00:36:14.409 --> 00:36:19.150
Yeah. And I had no friends. And I just went
781
00:36:19.210 --> 00:36:22.070
by myself to see her. And it was.
782
00:36:24.900 --> 00:36:30.360
So incredible. It was so incredible. Did she rock hard?
783
00:36:30.380 --> 00:36:33.480
What year was that? 1990?
784
00:36:33.460 --> 00:36:36.719
Just all the dykes just rolling down the hill trying
785
00:36:36.739 --> 00:36:38.170
to get in her ponties.
786
00:36:38.610 --> 00:36:43.429
I was never into Melissa in that way. But as
787
00:36:43.510 --> 00:36:47.550
far as like rock star, man, she is such a
788
00:36:47.630 --> 00:36:53.179
crowd pleaser. Like when she, her concerts, you gotta go.
789
00:36:53.670 --> 00:36:55.289
Yeah, she whips her hair around.
790
00:36:55.309 --> 00:36:57.389
Oh yeah, didn't she have that hit song, I Whip
791
00:36:57.429 --> 00:36:58.110
My Hair Around?
792
00:36:58.130 --> 00:37:02.550
You're thinking of Willow Smith.
793
00:37:02.809 --> 00:37:05.780
And she was out and proud in a time where
794
00:37:05.980 --> 00:37:08.300
it was very dicey to be so, and she didn't
795
00:37:08.360 --> 00:37:09.619
give a F.
796
00:37:09.940 --> 00:37:12.599
Well, I think that's when her Yes I Am album
797
00:37:12.639 --> 00:37:15.739
came out, was when she was coming out.
798
00:37:16.199 --> 00:37:16.539
Yeah.
799
00:37:16.880 --> 00:37:18.320
I didn't know that. She had an album called Yes
800
00:37:18.389 --> 00:37:18.670
I Am?
801
00:37:19.030 --> 00:37:20.550
Yeah, I mentioned it in the intro, Maeve.
802
00:37:21.190 --> 00:37:27.150
Oh, sorry. Sorry, sorry.
803
00:37:27.150 --> 00:37:29.030
1993 is when Yes, I Am came out.
804
00:37:29.289 --> 00:37:30.070
What a badass.
805
00:37:30.389 --> 00:37:31.389
Yes, truly.
806
00:37:31.800 --> 00:37:33.510
Melissa has to ask us.
807
00:37:33.909 --> 00:37:35.019
Yeah. Hey there, friends.
808
00:37:35.179 --> 00:37:39.659
Melissa here. My question for you all is what is
809
00:37:39.739 --> 00:37:44.420
your go-to make and love song? What's your favorite song
810
00:37:44.460 --> 00:37:47.559
that you know is going to get it on, that you,
811
00:37:48.000 --> 00:37:50.420
your partner, you're there, you're going to do it, right?
812
00:37:51.300 --> 00:37:53.280
What would that be? Does not have to be one
813
00:37:53.320 --> 00:37:56.320
of my songs. But what is that song?
814
00:37:56.880 --> 00:37:57.440
I don't know.
815
00:37:58.619 --> 00:38:00.860
I knew Melissa was going to get sexy right away. Like,
816
00:38:00.880 --> 00:38:04.920
what song? What song? You're making love.
817
00:38:06.440 --> 00:38:06.619
To.
818
00:38:06.820 --> 00:38:09.269
Do you guys put on music when you get down?
819
00:38:10.349 --> 00:38:11.829
Yeah, a little tune.
820
00:38:12.230 --> 00:38:13.349
You put on a playlist?
821
00:38:13.469 --> 00:38:15.289
Otherwise it gets real quiet. What is the tune?
822
00:38:15.670 --> 00:38:18.550
Fortune? Where you're like, when you drop the needle on
823
00:38:18.590 --> 00:38:19.030
the record?
824
00:38:19.050 --> 00:38:22.400
Are you okay? Is everything good?
825
00:38:23.159 --> 00:38:25.400
Wait, what? That's the song you put on?
826
00:38:25.840 --> 00:38:29.409
Yeah, a tap. A tap. Hello? Soundcheck song.
827
00:38:29.530 --> 00:38:29.929
Oh, right.
828
00:38:29.949 --> 00:38:30.349
Hello?
829
00:38:31.010 --> 00:38:35.050
Three, two, one. I'll tell you what I think is
830
00:38:35.989 --> 00:38:44.880
by far the hottest, sexiest music ever, aside from all
831
00:38:44.900 --> 00:38:46.239
of Melissa Etheridge's music.
832
00:38:46.539 --> 00:38:46.760
Uh-huh.
833
00:38:47.250 --> 00:38:50.170
And I can never remember if I'm saying this person's
834
00:38:50.210 --> 00:38:54.639
name right or wrong, but Sade, Sade, you know, I mean,
835
00:38:54.659 --> 00:38:55.880
there is.
836
00:38:55.900 --> 00:38:58.179
You don't know Sade? No.
837
00:38:58.199 --> 00:39:04.059
Oh my, Mae, you're going to get pregnant if you hear.
838
00:39:04.119 --> 00:39:05.980
Smooth operator, yeah.
839
00:39:06.079 --> 00:39:09.059
Okay, but even if I'm going to get horny and
840
00:39:09.320 --> 00:39:12.780
pregnant if I listen to Smooth Operator by Sade.
841
00:39:12.860 --> 00:39:17.400
Okay. Not just that song. Oh my God. Like go
842
00:39:17.440 --> 00:39:19.940
through the catalog and see if you don't get pregnant.
843
00:39:19.980 --> 00:39:20.659
Just listening.
844
00:39:20.679 --> 00:39:22.739
His voice is smooth.
845
00:39:22.860 --> 00:39:23.320
Yes.
846
00:39:23.860 --> 00:39:24.780
That is crazy.
847
00:39:24.780 --> 00:39:27.389
Wait, are you doubting that that's.
848
00:39:27.389 --> 00:39:28.800
I like the little percussion by Sheila E.
849
00:39:28.789 --> 00:39:31.280
I'm doubting. To me, that's like elevator music.
850
00:39:32.559 --> 00:39:37.139
Okay, I'm not talking about smooth operator. There are other
851
00:39:37.960 --> 00:39:42.320
tunes of hers that are the hottest. I don't think
852
00:39:42.360 --> 00:39:42.880
you are.
853
00:39:42.900 --> 00:39:44.079
I don't think so either.
854
00:39:44.099 --> 00:39:46.059
Okay, because you say that you're going to do these things.
855
00:39:46.139 --> 00:39:49.099
Did you ever watch Chris Fairbank's video? No.
856
00:39:49.719 --> 00:39:50.360
I never did.
857
00:39:50.380 --> 00:39:52.000
I don't think I ever said I was going to though.
858
00:39:52.659 --> 00:39:55.000
Yeah. Yeah. You're better at not over promising.
859
00:39:55.159 --> 00:39:57.500
I'm like, yeah, you over promise and under.
860
00:39:58.579 --> 00:40:02.260
I'm going to check in periodically to see who has
861
00:40:02.300 --> 00:40:05.420
watched Chris Fairbanks cocktail video.
862
00:40:06.409 --> 00:40:10.250
I find like if, if a song is, uh, like
863
00:40:10.309 --> 00:40:12.769
has too much of a mood or too much, too
864
00:40:12.789 --> 00:40:14.969
many lyrics, it'll, it'll, I'll get in my head or
865
00:40:15.030 --> 00:40:17.769
it'd be distracting, but I have had, I have once
866
00:40:18.150 --> 00:40:20.599
hooked up with someone who, Okay, we're in the living
867
00:40:20.639 --> 00:40:22.679
room and she goes, can we lie in your bed
868
00:40:22.739 --> 00:40:25.239
and pretend we're in a movie? And I went, well,
869
00:40:25.739 --> 00:40:28.739
what does that entail? And we go to my bed
870
00:40:28.880 --> 00:40:34.239
and she puts on her own band's music. Like it's
871
00:40:34.300 --> 00:40:37.659
her voice singing. So I guess we're like in her
872
00:40:37.719 --> 00:40:39.500
music video, like basically.
873
00:40:40.460 --> 00:40:43.059
And then....
874
00:40:42.820 --> 00:40:43.920
Had sex listening to her.
875
00:40:43.940 --> 00:40:46.679
You can't promote yourself during lovemaking.
876
00:40:46.840 --> 00:40:48.599
I put my comedy albums on.
877
00:40:51.460 --> 00:40:54.659
You know what sexy song I like jacks to listen to?
878
00:40:54.679 --> 00:40:54.760
What?
879
00:40:55.159 --> 00:40:59.449
To get the mood going? Jamaica. Bahama.
880
00:40:59.809 --> 00:41:00.469
Stop it.
881
00:41:00.989 --> 00:41:04.610
Stop it. No. When she hears that song, she knows.
882
00:41:04.789 --> 00:41:06.030
We'll take it slow.
883
00:41:06.050 --> 00:41:08.420
That's where we want to go.
884
00:41:09.340 --> 00:41:11.400
And she's like, get over here.
885
00:41:11.519 --> 00:41:30.079
And I'm like, Jax, I'm not a piece of meat.
886
00:41:32.300 --> 00:41:35.460
I need to go back to May saying that if
887
00:41:35.500 --> 00:41:40.889
there's too many lyrics in a song that they get distracted.
888
00:41:40.949 --> 00:41:41.309
Yeah.
889
00:41:41.590 --> 00:41:45.630
And yet to be in a bed with 43 people
890
00:41:45.769 --> 00:41:50.659
and not be distracted. But to put too many lyrics in.
891
00:41:51.159 --> 00:41:54.250
I think it's in a song. Whoa, what's going on?
892
00:41:54.289 --> 00:41:59.070
I'm distracted. But like, full blown orgy. No problem.
893
00:41:59.369 --> 00:42:02.809
The music really dictates the mood for me. So it
894
00:42:02.849 --> 00:42:05.300
can be too like, like, if it's a playlist of
895
00:42:05.389 --> 00:42:08.179
random songs, it's like, you know, one minute, it's like,
896
00:42:08.699 --> 00:42:11.019
prodigies playing or something. And then and then so the
897
00:42:11.079 --> 00:42:15.219
sex is really prodigy style, really, really dark and crazy.
898
00:42:15.579 --> 00:42:18.119
Then Elliot Smith comes on the playlist. I'm like, okay,
899
00:42:18.159 --> 00:42:20.570
now we're crying. And connect like you know what i
900
00:42:20.570 --> 00:42:23.070
mean it's too much yeah it's like what.
901
00:42:23.070 --> 00:42:25.389
So do you have a go-to song may i.
902
00:42:25.769 --> 00:42:27.969
Have an album or so do you have a go-to
903
00:42:28.010 --> 00:42:31.800
song when you have a lot of bed visitors like
904
00:42:31.860 --> 00:42:33.280
what do you put on when you.
905
00:42:33.219 --> 00:42:35.900
Have that's just like a spotify list right for an
906
00:42:36.019 --> 00:42:38.480
orgy but i feel like may has a curated list
907
00:42:38.500 --> 00:42:40.550
can we start calling it a pile up a.
908
00:42:40.530 --> 00:42:46.150
Pile a pile on Just to clarify, I'm not having
909
00:42:46.230 --> 00:42:50.230
orgies every week, but the thing that I keep going
910
00:42:50.269 --> 00:42:54.530
back to is Frank Ocean Blonde, that album. But now
911
00:42:54.610 --> 00:42:58.300
it's at a point where I've played it too much
912
00:42:58.550 --> 00:43:01.760
in those types of scenarios. So now it's almost like
913
00:43:01.800 --> 00:43:05.019
it makes me sort of go on autopilot or detach
914
00:43:05.039 --> 00:43:08.059
because I'm like, oh, now it's this X album. You
915
00:43:08.079 --> 00:43:08.739
know what I mean?
916
00:43:08.760 --> 00:43:10.320
Okay.
917
00:43:10.539 --> 00:43:11.920
So I got to find, I got to mix it up.
918
00:43:12.860 --> 00:43:15.679
But that's a really sexy album. It opens with Nike.
919
00:43:15.739 --> 00:43:16.199
Is it?
920
00:43:16.480 --> 00:43:17.519
I'm going to listen to it.
921
00:43:17.960 --> 00:43:20.280
Oh my God, it's so good. Also, okay, this is
922
00:43:20.300 --> 00:43:24.590
going to sound crazy, but Zayn Malik from One Direction,
923
00:43:24.610 --> 00:43:28.230
his solo album, his first solo album, that's a hot album.
924
00:43:28.690 --> 00:43:29.309
It's sexy?
925
00:43:29.769 --> 00:43:30.150
Yeah.
926
00:43:30.530 --> 00:43:33.269
Sexier than smooth operator.
927
00:43:33.469 --> 00:43:34.170
Oh my God.
928
00:43:34.190 --> 00:43:38.110
What about I want to make love in this club,
929
00:43:38.750 --> 00:43:39.880
in this club.
930
00:43:40.960 --> 00:43:45.219
I mean, you are a human jukebox. Do you ever
931
00:43:45.280 --> 00:43:46.340
sing during sex?
932
00:43:46.760 --> 00:43:51.199
Me? Yeah. Oh, no, I'm winded. I need all my
933
00:43:51.280 --> 00:43:57.090
lung capacity. I can't be doing all that.
934
00:43:59.789 --> 00:44:04.130
Singing, dancing. Fortune has a top hat on.
935
00:44:04.150 --> 00:44:11.199
I'm putting on a show to distract. I think I
936
00:44:11.280 --> 00:44:14.579
usually do just go to Spotify or something. Yeah. And
937
00:44:14.679 --> 00:44:20.449
put like sexy songs. Yeah, yeah. But I haven't splurged
938
00:44:20.510 --> 00:44:21.650
for the non-ads.
939
00:44:22.550 --> 00:44:22.769
Yeah.
940
00:44:22.789 --> 00:44:26.050
So at some point it is. Wait.
941
00:44:26.670 --> 00:44:28.670
So you've got the mood going and then it's like.
942
00:44:28.690 --> 00:44:29.230
Simply safe.
943
00:44:29.250 --> 00:44:30.510
Yeah.
944
00:44:31.690 --> 00:44:32.650
Yeah. That's really funny.
945
00:44:32.969 --> 00:44:35.250
You're in good hands with fortune.
946
00:44:37.409 --> 00:44:41.449
I feel like I have had my own. stand up
947
00:44:41.610 --> 00:44:44.969
come on shuffle like when i had my old computer
948
00:44:44.989 --> 00:44:46.840
like in the early 2000s and you just have like
949
00:44:46.880 --> 00:44:49.559
your i don't know i feel like i have had
950
00:44:49.840 --> 00:44:52.480
all the stuff saved it's on shuffle yes and it'll
951
00:44:52.500 --> 00:44:52.940
come on.
952
00:44:52.860 --> 00:44:55.239
And you're like oh and then like a weird um
953
00:44:56.099 --> 00:44:59.440
voice note don't forget to pick up bread and milk
954
00:44:59.500 --> 00:45:00.480
at the store.
955
00:45:00.579 --> 00:45:03.480
Yeah oh my god i one time do you know
956
00:45:03.500 --> 00:45:07.710
you can tell your alexa to make a And you
957
00:45:07.730 --> 00:45:09.909
can just add to it anytime. Like you go, Oh, Alexa,
958
00:45:09.969 --> 00:45:12.099
add to my to do list. Like, yeah, buy eggs
959
00:45:12.119 --> 00:45:15.760
or whatever. So as a joke, my friend said, I
960
00:45:16.260 --> 00:45:19.300
won't say the names, but my friend was dating someone called,
961
00:45:19.360 --> 00:45:23.000
let's say Catherine, who we all did not like because
962
00:45:23.019 --> 00:45:25.420
she was really mean to him. And so we were
963
00:45:25.460 --> 00:45:29.489
talking about, about this. The guy dating Catherine wasn't there.
964
00:45:29.530 --> 00:45:31.849
And we said as a joke, Alexa, add to the list,
965
00:45:32.349 --> 00:45:36.349
pick up eggs and Catherine's head on a platter or
966
00:45:36.449 --> 00:45:40.090
something like that. Later, I was with my friend and
967
00:45:40.110 --> 00:45:42.559
I forgot and I went, Alexa, play my to-do list.
968
00:45:42.980 --> 00:45:46.039
And it said like, buy eggs. And then it said
969
00:45:46.360 --> 00:45:48.639
Catherine's head on a platter, his girlfriend.
970
00:45:49.300 --> 00:45:49.659
No.
971
00:45:50.019 --> 00:45:50.320
Yeah.
972
00:45:50.860 --> 00:45:51.659
She was right there.
973
00:45:51.679 --> 00:45:54.000
No, she was not there, but the guy dating her
974
00:45:54.039 --> 00:46:01.699
was there. And I was like, I was like, I
975
00:46:01.800 --> 00:46:02.619
love Catherine.
976
00:46:02.960 --> 00:46:03.699
Do you guys know that?
977
00:46:03.739 --> 00:46:05.900
I know how to two-step, you know, how to two-step
978
00:46:07.239 --> 00:46:10.340
and two-step is like ballroom.
979
00:46:09.900 --> 00:46:13.699
Country dancing, the country dance. Yeah. When, how does this
980
00:46:13.739 --> 00:46:14.900
fit into the conversation?
981
00:46:14.920 --> 00:46:20.039
So there's a version of a two-step where you're behind
982
00:46:20.079 --> 00:46:25.190
the person dancing and that that's pretty sexy. Really? And
983
00:46:25.349 --> 00:46:28.250
a song will come on like, maybe lock the doors
984
00:46:28.309 --> 00:46:32.809
and turn the lights down low. We ain't got no
985
00:46:33.010 --> 00:46:39.590
other place to go. There's something, something on the radio.
986
00:46:40.610 --> 00:46:46.110
And you're dancing behind them. This is incredible. I got
987
00:46:46.150 --> 00:46:48.110
pretty sexy during that song.
988
00:46:48.130 --> 00:46:50.590
I think two-stepping's pretty cool.
989
00:46:51.230 --> 00:46:52.690
I used to do it on the reg when Oil
990
00:46:53.150 --> 00:46:56.130
Can Harry's was in L.A. Now there's nowhere, so. Mm-hmm.
991
00:46:56.150 --> 00:46:57.710
I thought there was a.
992
00:46:57.730 --> 00:47:00.360
Jackson get experience, sexy, two-step, and fortune.
993
00:47:01.000 --> 00:47:03.789
Isn't there like a line dancing thing in L.A. going on?
994
00:47:03.800 --> 00:47:06.139
There's like a weekly queer line dance.
995
00:47:06.260 --> 00:47:06.579
Is there?
996
00:47:06.980 --> 00:47:08.099
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
997
00:47:08.139 --> 00:47:09.860
Didn't line dancing get popular?
998
00:47:09.880 --> 00:47:11.480
It came back.
999
00:47:11.619 --> 00:47:12.059
Why?
1000
00:47:12.440 --> 00:47:13.900
But now it's like Ed Sheeran songs.
1001
00:47:13.920 --> 00:47:16.820
What do you mean came back? When was line dancing
1002
00:47:17.469 --> 00:47:19.010
like taken the.
1003
00:47:18.949 --> 00:47:21.489
World by storm? In the 2000s? 2008 era?
1004
00:47:21.989 --> 00:47:22.489
It was?
1005
00:47:23.170 --> 00:47:23.710
Was it really?
1006
00:47:23.710 --> 00:47:25.449
2007 was hot, baby.
1007
00:47:25.469 --> 00:47:26.829
No, line dancing.
1008
00:47:27.610 --> 00:47:29.710
I mean, sorry, line dancing was hot, too.
1009
00:47:29.730 --> 00:47:31.730
Wow. Because I think that was.
1010
00:47:31.650 --> 00:47:33.730
Like Brokeback Mountain days. Oh, right.
1011
00:47:33.849 --> 00:47:34.730
And that put it in the.
1012
00:47:34.769 --> 00:47:37.510
It was very popular. It's coming back on the TikTok.
1013
00:47:38.369 --> 00:47:42.599
But now it's to like Ed Sheeran's songs like... And
1014
00:47:42.639 --> 00:47:46.039
people are line dancing to that?
1015
00:47:46.119 --> 00:47:47.159
I would love to hear.
1016
00:47:49.500 --> 00:47:52.099
What Melissa says, because I feel like she probably got
1017
00:47:52.139 --> 00:47:56.739
sexy a lot. Don't you think?
1018
00:47:57.619 --> 00:47:59.579
I know one of her ex. I think I know
1019
00:47:59.679 --> 00:48:01.199
two of her ex-girlfriends.
1020
00:48:01.460 --> 00:48:06.340
You're a lesbian rock star? Yeah. In those times?
1021
00:48:07.280 --> 00:48:07.739
Mm-hmm.
1022
00:48:08.179 --> 00:48:11.489
Like, and even now, but she's married now. I'm just
1023
00:48:11.510 --> 00:48:12.670
talking about single days.
1024
00:48:13.070 --> 00:48:13.429
Yeah.
1025
00:48:13.710 --> 00:48:19.230
I mean, we're just rolling in that bus. Fortune.
1026
00:48:19.250 --> 00:48:21.309
Fortune Marie. Fortune Marie.
1027
00:48:21.329 --> 00:48:23.760
There's a role in that.
1028
00:48:24.139 --> 00:48:29.400
That is our elder lesbian icon you're talking about. Melissa
1029
00:48:29.420 --> 00:48:30.980
would love.
1030
00:48:30.460 --> 00:48:31.320
Me saying that.
1031
00:48:32.719 --> 00:48:36.519
Okay. Would her wife appreciate? Her wife probably doesn't even
1032
00:48:36.579 --> 00:48:41.119
know that Melissa even dated before they got together. Okay.
1033
00:48:41.500 --> 00:48:43.059
Let's hear what Melissa had to say.
1034
00:48:43.760 --> 00:48:50.030
So my go-to song, I'm a big Sade gal. Pretty
1035
00:48:50.050 --> 00:48:53.070
much any Sade song can do for me, but Sade,
1036
00:48:53.090 --> 00:48:55.280
No Ordinary Love.
1037
00:48:56.320 --> 00:48:58.539
Oh, my God. The best song, Melissa.
1038
00:48:58.760 --> 00:48:59.500
That's go time.
1039
00:49:00.159 --> 00:49:00.659
Yes.
1040
00:49:00.820 --> 00:49:04.199
Sade, No Ordinary Love. This is insane.
1041
00:49:04.320 --> 00:49:05.280
Peace out, guys.
1042
00:49:05.320 --> 00:49:05.619
Love you.
1043
00:49:06.639 --> 00:49:11.340
Oh, my God. That is hilarious.
1044
00:49:11.389 --> 00:49:13.829
That's so funny. Oh, my God.
1045
00:49:14.769 --> 00:49:17.690
I think that was Melissa signaling to me.
1046
00:49:18.719 --> 00:49:28.110
That, uh, it's go time wow that's crazy okay this
1047
00:49:28.170 --> 00:49:31.429
is now i'm really committed to to starting to.
1048
00:49:32.320 --> 00:49:36.289
You have to listen to Ordinary Love, like she mentioned.
1049
00:49:36.389 --> 00:49:39.389
That song is so incredible. It's stupid.
1050
00:49:39.710 --> 00:49:43.070
I'll put it on the next time I sadly masturbate.
1051
00:49:44.619 --> 00:49:48.179
Oh, my God. Fortune Marie. Tell me.
1052
00:49:48.199 --> 00:49:49.360
I didn't say that.
1053
00:49:49.599 --> 00:49:53.059
I know, but you should not allow such things out
1054
00:49:53.079 --> 00:49:56.510
of that little cowboy's mouth.
1055
00:49:56.570 --> 00:49:56.929
Wow.
1056
00:49:58.250 --> 00:49:59.289
Wow. Wow.
1057
00:49:59.670 --> 00:50:06.199
Sadly mastered. Do you do that often? Yeah, I do.
1058
00:50:06.219 --> 00:50:08.820
Okay. Have a good boo-hoo.
1059
00:50:09.119 --> 00:50:09.840
A good boo-hoo.
1060
00:50:10.139 --> 00:50:14.000
Boo-hoo and a woo-woo and a ha-ha and a hey-hey.
1061
00:50:14.019 --> 00:50:14.639
Yeah, well.
1062
00:50:14.860 --> 00:50:20.030
Okay, I will, though, get into that singer. Yeah, I
1063
00:50:20.050 --> 00:50:21.269
don't know how to pronounce it, but I'm going to
1064
00:50:21.289 --> 00:50:21.719
get into it.
1065
00:50:22.090 --> 00:50:23.090
Is it Sade?
1066
00:50:23.389 --> 00:50:25.409
Or Sade. Some people throw an R in there.
1067
00:50:25.510 --> 00:50:26.090
Oh, really?
1068
00:50:26.110 --> 00:50:29.230
Is there an R? I don't know. I talked to, yeah,
1069
00:50:29.269 --> 00:50:31.690
we talked about this on my old podcast and.
1070
00:50:31.829 --> 00:50:32.829
Oh really? Yeah.
1071
00:50:33.170 --> 00:50:35.659
If you threw an extra R into all of our names,
1072
00:50:35.719 --> 00:50:39.159
it would be trig, fraud, fortune.
1073
00:50:39.940 --> 00:50:43.940
And merchant and mare.
1074
00:50:44.199 --> 00:50:45.880
These are the kinds of things I bring to the pod,
1075
00:50:45.900 --> 00:50:49.239
you know, and they're delightful.
1076
00:50:48.579 --> 00:50:52.559
And we appreciate it and we need it. Well, this was, um,
1077
00:50:52.840 --> 00:50:57.550
as always a delight and, um, So nice to hear
1078
00:50:57.610 --> 00:51:00.170
from our dear friend, Melissa Etheridge.
1079
00:51:00.630 --> 00:51:03.840
Yes, an honor. Thank you for paving the way for
1080
00:51:04.139 --> 00:51:09.780
us gays. Yes. Opening all those doors and being brave
1081
00:51:09.840 --> 00:51:12.460
in a time when it was really hard to be out.
1082
00:51:13.059 --> 00:51:18.119
Yes, opening doors and demanding women sit at your window
1083
00:51:18.599 --> 00:51:19.039
and wait.
1084
00:51:19.079 --> 00:51:24.420
Come to my window. Come inside. That's the Bob Dylan version.
1085
00:51:24.849 --> 00:51:29.170
I bet Melissa had a ton of women waiting by
1086
00:51:29.250 --> 00:51:30.369
her window. Yeah.
1087
00:51:30.389 --> 00:51:32.789
And she'd just have to rock up when she wanted.
1088
00:51:32.809 --> 00:51:34.590
Yeah, and they're like, what are you doing here?
1089
00:51:34.610 --> 00:51:35.909
What do you mean?
1090
00:51:35.949 --> 00:51:37.750
What are you doing here? She told me to come
1091
00:51:37.829 --> 00:51:38.750
wait by her window.
1092
00:51:38.789 --> 00:51:40.690
And she rolls up in a leather jacket.
1093
00:51:41.150 --> 00:51:45.179
Yeah, listening to Sade. And they're like, hello. I want
1094
00:51:45.199 --> 00:51:49.159
to mention the documentary Come See Me in the Good Light,
1095
00:51:49.559 --> 00:51:54.460
the Andrea Gibson documentary that is at Sundance this year.
1096
00:51:55.570 --> 00:52:00.750
It is a real, real mind bendingly incredible documentary.
1097
00:52:00.949 --> 00:52:02.320
I cannot wait to see it.
1098
00:52:02.449 --> 00:52:06.360
It's really, there's really one moment in that movie, a
1099
00:52:06.480 --> 00:52:14.280
scene that makes me laugh so hard. And then one
1100
00:52:14.389 --> 00:52:20.510
second later, the most devastating thing in the world. It is, it's,
1101
00:52:24.210 --> 00:52:28.349
Whether TV, film, or in-person experience, one of the greatest
1102
00:52:28.389 --> 00:52:29.710
things I've ever seen in my life.
1103
00:52:30.150 --> 00:52:33.719
That's amazing. I will be watching that, my friend.
1104
00:52:34.099 --> 00:52:36.300
Yes. Everyone, please check it out.
1105
00:52:36.480 --> 00:52:39.539
You can watch my special Crushing It on Netflix. It's there.
1106
00:52:39.559 --> 00:52:42.539
I would love for people to keep watching it. I'm
1107
00:52:42.780 --> 00:52:45.809
working out new material in Pasadena this weekend at the
1108
00:52:45.949 --> 00:52:49.380
Ice House. I see a little peek behind the curtain
1109
00:52:49.900 --> 00:52:53.739
and then Ontario and Oxnard, California, working out material there
1110
00:52:53.920 --> 00:52:58.039
and Irvine, California. And then my big tour kicks off
1111
00:52:58.239 --> 00:53:03.050
in Savannah, Georgia. So get tickets for my new tour
1112
00:53:03.309 --> 00:53:03.889
at my website.
1113
00:53:04.590 --> 00:53:08.170
Love it. I'm working out new material too, whether in
1114
00:53:08.250 --> 00:53:13.809
Toronto or Los Angeles, check my website, tignotaro.com. I also
1115
00:53:13.869 --> 00:53:16.329
have a special that came out a while ago called
1116
00:53:16.369 --> 00:53:20.219
Hello Again. And it's also on, you can get the
1117
00:53:20.300 --> 00:53:21.760
audio version out there too.
1118
00:53:22.099 --> 00:53:25.980
I'm at Largo periodically. I'm also gearing up to do
1119
00:53:26.039 --> 00:53:28.860
some music shows around. They're going to be announced soon.
1120
00:53:29.119 --> 00:53:31.960
Share an episode with friends and family. Help us build
1121
00:53:32.000 --> 00:53:36.130
the community so this show can stay on the air.
1122
00:53:36.150 --> 00:53:37.489
Are we on the air?
1123
00:53:37.909 --> 00:53:39.789
Get your handsome hoodies and sweatpants.
1124
00:53:40.250 --> 00:53:40.730
Absolutely.
1125
00:53:40.750 --> 00:53:41.429
It's cold out there.
1126
00:53:42.469 --> 00:53:44.030
Baby, it is cold outside.
1127
00:53:44.050 --> 00:53:46.599
So handsomepod.com for all your merch needs.
1128
00:53:46.860 --> 00:53:50.039
When you're sitting at Melissa Etheridge's window waiting for her, you.
1129
00:53:50.159 --> 00:53:51.579
Need a hoodie. You're going to need some layers.
1130
00:53:51.760 --> 00:53:55.139
Yeah, you are going to need some layers. But until
1131
00:53:55.199 --> 00:53:56.409
next time, shall we?
1132
00:53:58.090 --> 00:54:00.510
Keep it handsome.
1133
00:54:01.090 --> 00:54:04.000
Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and
1134
00:54:04.039 --> 00:54:07.019
Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by
1135
00:54:07.079 --> 00:54:11.599
Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please
1136
00:54:11.719 --> 00:54:14.280
follow us on social media at handsomepod.
1137
00:54:17.190 --> 00:54:18.789
What a podcast! What a podcast!
1138
00:54:18.849 --> 00:54:20.190
What a podcast!
1139
00:54:23.469 --> 00:54:24.710
That was a HeadGum Podcast.
1140
00:54:25.989 --> 00:54:29.570
Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance.
1141
00:54:29.949 --> 00:54:34.179
Not checking whether it's called a wheelbarrow or a wheelbarrel?
1142
00:54:34.559 --> 00:54:37.539
We here at the Handsome Podcast need to do better.
1143
00:54:38.159 --> 00:54:40.659
We heard loud and clear from our listeners that it's
1144
00:54:40.739 --> 00:54:45.429
actually a wheelbarrow, and we're using this opportunity to apologize
1145
00:54:45.449 --> 00:54:48.110
to all of you for the embarrassing misunderstanding.
1146
00:54:48.519 --> 00:54:52.119
Yeah, check-in first is handsome. So check Allstate first for
1147
00:54:52.139 --> 00:54:54.219
an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in
1148
00:54:54.260 --> 00:54:57.829
good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions,
1149
00:54:57.869 --> 00:55:02.340
and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company & Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.
1
00:00:02.089 --> 00:00:03.299
This is a HeadGum Podcast.
2
00:00:05.129 --> 00:00:07.629
Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance.
3
00:00:07.830 --> 00:00:09.689
Not checking to see if I can get a custom
4
00:00:09.710 --> 00:00:13.410
pinata before I go to my friend's birthday party? Missed opportunity.
5
00:00:13.839 --> 00:00:15.789
They're swinging away at a donkey, but it would have
6
00:00:15.810 --> 00:00:18.300
been so much better to get their favorite cartoon character
7
00:00:18.359 --> 00:00:21.019
from a certain summer blockbuster I may have starred in.
8
00:00:21.359 --> 00:00:24.420
Yeah, checking first is handsome. So check Allstate First for
9
00:00:24.460 --> 00:00:26.620
an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in
10
00:00:26.660 --> 00:00:29.879
good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions,
11
00:00:29.920 --> 00:00:34.020
and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company & Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.
12
00:00:34.700 --> 00:00:37.520
Handsome is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the
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all-in-one platform designed to help you stand out and succeed
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online with a handy, handsome website you can be proud
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of and show off to all your friends, clients, and
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loved ones. With Squarespace, you can scale up your business,
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With Squarespace's cutting-edge design tools, you can build a gorgeous
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dream needs a domain, Squarespace makes it easy to find
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the best name for your business at one fair, all-inclusive price.
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No hidden fees, no required add-ons.
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Squarespace offers countless extras like built-in donation tools for fundraising
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and online payments and invoicing to help you get paid
27
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on time. Squarespace makes it easy, so easy we even
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made a handsome website ourselves today. In less than 20 minutes.
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So what are you waiting for? Get started on your
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free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer
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code handsome to save 10% off your first purchase of
33
00:01:35.780 --> 00:01:36.769
a website or domain.
34
00:01:36.790 --> 00:01:40.629
Cheers.
35
00:01:40.709 --> 00:01:55.000
Hi, it's your friend Tig Notaro. And me, Mae Martin.
36
00:01:55.719 --> 00:01:57.500
And me, Fortune Feimster.
37
00:01:57.519 --> 00:02:04.980
Right here on the Handsome Podcast. Still working the kinks out.
38
00:02:05.000 --> 00:02:07.019
We really nail our intros, I think.
39
00:02:07.299 --> 00:02:07.640
I know.
40
00:02:07.760 --> 00:02:11.060
It's really got worse. We're too polite. Yeah.
41
00:02:11.360 --> 00:02:14.460
We're like, you go. No, you go.
42
00:02:15.039 --> 00:02:16.650
Yeah. Don't want to step on anything.
43
00:02:16.659 --> 00:02:17.689
Yeah, very Canadian.
44
00:02:17.710 --> 00:02:21.030
And then we just step all over everything. Yeah. Aw.
45
00:02:21.330 --> 00:02:23.919
Like, you know that game where you have to... You
46
00:02:23.939 --> 00:02:26.680
have to count to 10 without saying a number at
47
00:02:26.719 --> 00:02:30.080
the same time. You got your eyes closed in a group.
48
00:02:30.259 --> 00:02:32.280
And so you're like, one.
49
00:02:33.159 --> 00:02:35.180
Two. I already messed up.
50
00:02:35.620 --> 00:02:37.699
No, that was it. Why'd you mess up?
51
00:02:38.280 --> 00:02:39.340
I thought we were supposed to say it at the
52
00:02:39.379 --> 00:02:39.919
same time.
53
00:02:40.219 --> 00:02:42.719
No, you're out if you say it at the same time.
54
00:02:42.759 --> 00:02:44.479
So you close your eyes and you're trying to get
55
00:02:44.740 --> 00:02:46.139
to 10. Is this fun to listen to?
56
00:02:46.180 --> 00:02:47.659
Okay.
57
00:02:48.250 --> 00:02:48.819
Let's try it.
58
00:02:49.039 --> 00:02:51.710
Ready? One. Two.
59
00:02:52.090 --> 00:02:54.099
Three. Wait, what's happening?
60
00:02:55.219 --> 00:02:55.520
Five.
61
00:02:56.439 --> 00:02:56.719
Six.
62
00:02:57.379 --> 00:02:57.599
Seven.
63
00:02:57.659 --> 00:03:00.949
Oh, I fucked it. That's a fun game people can
64
00:03:00.990 --> 00:03:03.710
play at the family dinner table.
65
00:03:03.990 --> 00:03:05.069
I don't like games.
66
00:03:05.310 --> 00:03:07.210
You don't like a leisurely game of Monopoly?
67
00:03:07.590 --> 00:03:12.460
I mean, if I must. I just really am not
68
00:03:12.560 --> 00:03:15.659
like going to game night and like all that kind
69
00:03:15.719 --> 00:03:16.180
of stuff.
70
00:03:16.259 --> 00:03:19.680
I'm like, oh, I love a game night. Me too.
71
00:03:19.960 --> 00:03:22.699
I love a game night and I love a gay night.
72
00:03:23.159 --> 00:03:23.840
Gay games.
73
00:03:24.539 --> 00:03:25.099
Gay games.
74
00:03:25.900 --> 00:03:29.099
It's early this morning. Have you had breakfast?
75
00:03:29.719 --> 00:03:32.240
No breakfast, just coffee.
76
00:03:32.259 --> 00:03:34.639
It's lunchtime where I am.
77
00:03:35.099 --> 00:03:35.520
Oh, right.
78
00:03:35.539 --> 00:03:36.860
Of course, of course, of course. I went to a
79
00:03:36.860 --> 00:03:37.639
premiere last night.
80
00:03:37.659 --> 00:03:39.930
What was the premiere?
81
00:03:39.939 --> 00:03:40.909
I had a late night.
82
00:03:41.650 --> 00:03:42.159
What was it?
83
00:03:43.129 --> 00:03:44.210
The Bob Dylan movie.
84
00:03:44.930 --> 00:03:46.909
Oh, yeah. How was it?
85
00:03:47.289 --> 00:03:52.229
Really good, really good. My FUBAR co-star, Monica Barbaro, she
86
00:03:52.310 --> 00:03:54.939
is in it. playing Joan Baez.
87
00:03:55.219 --> 00:03:56.180
Oh my God.
88
00:03:56.699 --> 00:03:57.139
Whoa.
89
00:03:57.159 --> 00:03:58.520
Imagine getting that part.
90
00:03:58.740 --> 00:04:01.259
Fuck. I know a great part and she killed it.
91
00:04:01.659 --> 00:04:05.520
She would come to set. She was filming both simultaneously
92
00:04:05.560 --> 00:04:09.449
at one point and would come to set with her guitar. They,
93
00:04:09.789 --> 00:04:12.009
she had to learn how to play. They get like
94
00:04:12.009 --> 00:04:13.409
11 songs and the guitar.
95
00:04:13.430 --> 00:04:16.589
Or they learn how to play the guitar. Yeah.
96
00:04:16.870 --> 00:04:17.970
She never played. Okay.
97
00:04:17.990 --> 00:04:21.230
If you guys were, were playing someone in a biopic,
98
00:04:21.470 --> 00:04:22.149
who would you want to play?
99
00:04:23.189 --> 00:04:24.990
All right, fine, Charlize Theron.
100
00:04:26.790 --> 00:04:28.670
All right, fine.
101
00:04:29.470 --> 00:04:33.379
Everyone says I'm an old looking Jojo Siwa.
102
00:04:33.649 --> 00:04:34.660
Who is that?
103
00:04:34.680 --> 00:04:37.720
She's like a young pop star.
104
00:04:37.800 --> 00:04:39.600
Oh, you don't know who Jojo Siwa is?
105
00:04:39.620 --> 00:04:42.300
Like a young queer pop star.
106
00:04:43.019 --> 00:04:43.399
Yeah.
107
00:04:43.439 --> 00:04:44.180
She's out now?
108
00:04:44.519 --> 00:04:45.399
Yeah, that's so funny.
109
00:04:45.439 --> 00:04:47.959
Yeah, she's like early 20s, right, Mae?
110
00:04:48.259 --> 00:04:49.720
Yeah, she's young. 21, maybe.
111
00:04:49.740 --> 00:04:52.439
And you look like an old... What is her name?
112
00:04:52.759 --> 00:04:53.379
Jojo Siwa.
113
00:04:53.420 --> 00:04:57.480
Jojo Siwa. She's part of the culture. Yeah. She was
114
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the kid performer that wore the big bows. Wait, what
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do you mean she's part of the culture?
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Which culture? What culture?
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Just life? People talk about her a ton on TikTok
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and stuff. Oh, okay.
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She was the kid.
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Performer that was huge who wore the big bows. She
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was from Dance Moms.
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Is that where she came from? Okay.
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Yeah. And then she made albums and stuff. And then
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she came out and then... I guess doesn't, now I
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don't think she does the big bow anymore.
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Doesn't do the big bow, but she does do like
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wild dance moves.
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Wait, she came out of the closet?
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Yeah. And her song's, Karma's a bitch, I should have
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known better.
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Okay, I see why people say that about you now. Yeah,
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you've got to do this biopic.
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She does a dance.
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It would be so funny if you did a biopic
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of a living pop star who is 21 and you
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played her.
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She'd be like, why?
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But it'd be fun to do a biopic like what
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you expect is going to happen in the future.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Like that would be a fun movie to do. It's
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like you write where you think this person's life is
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headed and he has old fortune.
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She's watching it and she's like, what? You think I'm
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going to work in a pet store eventually.
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I'm telling you guys when my special came out crashing
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it on netflix sure and i was doing all the
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press like all the comments kept saying this looks like
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or an old.
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I have to see i have to see why this
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person hello you gotta see uh-huh i.
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Would want to play I mean, I'd want to play
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like River Phoenix or something, but who would I be
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good at playing? Probably like Judi Dench or something.
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You'd be good at playing Judi. Let's hear it.
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I can sort of imagine. Yeah. So it starts with,
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I'm like Judi in her late thirties and pottering around England.
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Maybe I'm doing a play or something. And then I
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hit it big and I'm sort of quivering, like smoking
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a cigarette with a quivering hand and kind of being like, well, darling,
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we must get the scripts back. Or else I can't
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do it. She can't do a movie without a script, famously.
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I love that.
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And then what is your River Phoenix, just in case?
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It's sort of, you know, like how I am now. No,
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it's sort of like I would just do the monologue
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from Stand By Me. Where he's like, yeah, I took
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the milk money. You knew I took it. Hell, even
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Vern knew I took it.
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God, even Vern knew.
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Even Vern knew. Who would you play, Tig? Bob, Tom Cruise.
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Bob Dylan, I was going to say, but I think
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you could do a cool Dylan.
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You know who I used to get told that I
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looked like was Ally Sheedy. Remember her? Yeah.
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Was she in Breakfast Club?
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Yeah, she was in Breakfast Club. Oh, maybe I'd be
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Chrissy Hynde from The Pretenders.
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Oh, that would be electric.
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Mm-hmm. Yeah.
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Wiggy, wiggy, wiggy, wiggy.
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And would you do the songs? Would you sing or would.
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You lip sync?
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Oh, I'd have to lip sync. I don't know if you...
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saw me uh sing adele's hello but um yeah no
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i i wouldn't sing but i would i would play
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guitar know how to play.
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Guitar yeah oh that's good and.
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I know chrissy heinz moves like i know hey.
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Go to youtube go to youtube go.
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To youtube i'm doing chrissy heinz yeah tom cruise or
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chrissy heinz But I don't think I can do the
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action and whatever kind of risky stuff that Tom Cruise.
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Risky business.
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I have a couple of motorcycles in real life, but
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I'm not going to drive them off a cliff.
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Sorry, wait. You currently now have a couple of motorcycles?
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Yeah, I have a couple of vintage motorcycles that I'm
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actually going to sell.
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I'll take them off your hands. Do you ride? No,
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but I would learn. And to ride a hog that
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you once rode, I'd love that.
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Not only is it a hog I once rode, but
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you know who owned it two people before me was
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the guitarist of Def Leppard, Phil Collin. What? The blonde,
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the blonde haired, short blonde haired guitar player.
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Wait, not so we can choose a Phil Collins.
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Yeah. Phil Collins, the lead singer drummer of Genesis, completely
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different person. Phil Collin is the, one of the previous owners.
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That's amazing.
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And I have two, two CB Honda CB three fifties.
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They're so adorable. One is from 1969. One is from 1970.
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What?
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And one is gold. And I call that one Goldie Honda. Oh,
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my God. and one is gold and i call that
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one goldie honda oh my god and then the blue
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one it's teal colored blue i call do you want
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to guess.
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Um wait blue honda.
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There's goldie honda and oh kurt Kurt Russell is my
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other one.
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Oh, so it's not a pun on blue.
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It's just Kurt Russell. No, it's just Kurt Russell is
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the other one.
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That's so good.
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So if anyone's interested in buying Goldie Honda and Kurt Russell,
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I will sign it and you can come pick it up.
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That's so funny.
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This might be the gayest conversation we've ever had.
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Is it really?
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Yeah.
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Even when I talked about how hot Pitbull was?
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That was pretty gay.
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That was the least gay we've ever been. Yeah, you
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talking about your motorcycles, your dyke days.
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Yeah.
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I'd be nervous to, well, yeah, I can't even drive
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a car, but I'd be nervous on a motorcycle for sure.
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Please don't ride motorcycles in LA. They're so dangerous.
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So dangerous, right? A big gust of wind. I'm fluttering away.
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Or just a giant car with a... Someone on their phone.
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Yeah. I stopped riding. I stopped riding after I got
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sick in 2012. Um, cause I was like, Oh boy,
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I don't want to push. I don't want to push
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my luck in any direction here. So I stopped riding.
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And then you're on a motorcycle and wipe out. Yeah.
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No, thanks. So I just, I have those bikes that, uh,
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I'm going to clean up and get rid of.
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I rented a scooter once in Switzerland.
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And what was its name?
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I didn't come up with a name for it, but
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I was zipping around that place on this little scooter.
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I thought I was so cool.
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It is a really liberating feeling. I had my friend
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rented one in Nepal and we drove around and I'm
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sure I was close to death so many times.
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But it was... Jack's had a scooter in Chicago when
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I met her.
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Really?
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That's a cool image. And so for our first year together...
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Some might see us bopping around the city, me riding bitch.
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Riding bitch? I've never heard that.
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You were riding bitch? You've never heard riding bitch?
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I've never heard riding bitch.
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Two against one. I was riding bitch behind Jax.
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You were riding bitch.
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I was holding on for dear life.
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Wow. Was she good or was she like.
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She was great.
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Okay.
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She's got those long legs. And so she kept, kept
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it steady and.
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Well, that's her personality. She, you know, keeping it steady.
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She's a steady person.
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And then we would go out. It was fun, but
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like Chicago's dangerous too.
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Yeah.
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We would ride it during the day and it would
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be gorgeous. And then we'd stay out too late and
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it'd be nighttime and, And then it was freezing.
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And so we're riding home like shaking.
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And did she give you her coat?
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No. I've never been colder in my life than on
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the back of that scooter.
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Would you guys date? I'm just picturing because I was
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picturing you guys on the scooter and kind of the
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shape of it. And then I was thinking, would you
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date a centaur where it was like she's the top
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half of her all woman and you're in love with her?
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It's Jax and Stephanie. Like you love them. But their
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bottom half is horse.
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Just don't look down.
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That would be hard.
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But it's still them.
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I can say for sure I would not. Oh, really?
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I mean, there's no, like, there's no, like, oh, let
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me see.
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Till horse goes apart.
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You're going to have horse shit all around the house,
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you know?
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How are they going to get in bed?
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Yeah.
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How are they going to put pants on?
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I mean, oh, I know how you can get them
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in bed.
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You just go.
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Yeah. It feels like at that point, Jax and Stephanie
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should be together because they're both centaurs.
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Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
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So it's two against one.
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Femme on femme centaurs.
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I'm like pretty into it, I think.
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You are?
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Yeah, like the power, like horsepower, right? Like those rippling muscles.
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Yeah, I guess if you're looking for that, this would
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be a real dreamy situation.
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I didn't know I was looking for that.
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Is it Jax and Stephanie or someone else?
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Yeah, have you been fantasizing about our wives?
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As centaurs?
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Because that's fine. I mean, yeah, or even not, you know.
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Because we've divorced them at this point, so I guess
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it's fine.
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Yeah.
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I let him off to pasture. Like whoever wants this.
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Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance.
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Not checking that I put away all my puppets before
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going to sleep. That's the stuff of nightmares. I woke
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up to get some water in the middle of the
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night and I thought an army of tiny folk had
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come to life in my house.
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Yeah.
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00:14:57.309 --> 00:14:58.330
Checking first is handsome.
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00:14:58.750 --> 00:15:00.830
So check Allstate first for an auto quote.
335
00:15:00.990 --> 00:15:04.210
It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate.
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00:15:04.590 --> 00:15:07.950
Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate,
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00:15:07.970 --> 00:15:10.529
North American insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.
338
00:15:11.080 --> 00:15:13.639
As we head into the fall, it is the perfect
339
00:15:13.700 --> 00:15:16.879
time to hit reset before the autumn rush. And for me,
340
00:15:17.120 --> 00:15:20.659
that always starts with my wardrobe. Quince proves you don't
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00:15:20.679 --> 00:15:22.960
need a crowded closet to look incredible. You just need
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00:15:22.980 --> 00:15:24.000
the right pieces.
343
00:15:24.019 --> 00:15:27.620
I am awesome. awful choosy about my denim, but I
344
00:15:27.659 --> 00:15:31.289
was so impressed by Quince's straight leg jeans. The best
345
00:15:31.330 --> 00:15:34.610
part was the quality, but the other best part was
346
00:15:34.649 --> 00:15:38.789
the price. Their jeans were priced at just $ 50. That's
347
00:15:38.850 --> 00:15:46.440
comparable to $ 245 at traditional retail. That's a 79% savings.
348
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Plus you get an amazing pair of jeans to go
349
00:15:49.639 --> 00:15:53.519
with all your cash. I find myself reaching for my
350
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Quince jeans over and over again. Quince, I'm a fan.
351
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Find the fall pieces you'll reach for most at Quince.
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Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to quince.com
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slash handsome. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.
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Now available in Canada and the UK, too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E
355
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dot com slash handsome. I learned my favorite May fact
356
00:16:19.679 --> 00:16:21.080
I've ever learned the other day.
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00:16:21.220 --> 00:16:22.659
What is it? Thanks.
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00:16:23.019 --> 00:16:24.639
Thank you for the enthusiasm.
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00:16:25.759 --> 00:16:26.860
No, hold on. Yeah.
360
00:16:26.899 --> 00:16:27.860
What is it?
361
00:16:28.539 --> 00:16:29.580
Um, okay.
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00:16:29.679 --> 00:16:32.250
That was a believable thing.
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00:16:32.330 --> 00:16:35.539
I want to know. Go to YouTube and see on
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00:16:35.590 --> 00:16:36.250
my face.
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00:16:37.139 --> 00:16:40.970
I've never seen your face look more blank. Um, okay.
366
00:16:41.669 --> 00:16:44.250
This is true. I mean, don't Google it, but because
367
00:16:44.429 --> 00:16:47.230
I haven't done in-depth research into it, but I've, From
368
00:16:47.250 --> 00:16:47.929
multiple sources.
369
00:16:47.950 --> 00:16:49.570
So it's a May fact?
370
00:16:49.870 --> 00:16:53.549
Yeah, yeah. So when they were making The Wizard of Oz,
371
00:16:54.129 --> 00:16:57.509
they couldn't find a coat for the wizard. And the
372
00:16:57.529 --> 00:16:59.669
costume department was like, we got to find the perfect
373
00:16:59.710 --> 00:17:03.210
coat for the wizard himself in Oz, like a shabby
374
00:17:03.289 --> 00:17:06.839
but elegant, long, dark green coat. And they were looking everywhere.
375
00:17:06.859 --> 00:17:09.099
They're like, it has to be perfect. They went to
376
00:17:09.140 --> 00:17:11.460
Chicago and New York and met with designers and they
377
00:17:11.480 --> 00:17:13.700
just couldn't find one. Then they were getting on the
378
00:17:13.799 --> 00:17:17.039
train to go back to LA and they go- they
379
00:17:17.059 --> 00:17:19.940
stop in this vintage shop while they're waiting for the
380
00:17:19.980 --> 00:17:22.420
train and they find the perfect coat. It's the coat
381
00:17:22.440 --> 00:17:24.869
that you see in the movie. It's like dark green, long,
382
00:17:25.210 --> 00:17:27.970
perfect coat. They love it. They bring it to the actor.
383
00:17:28.029 --> 00:17:30.009
Frank Morgan is playing the wizard.
384
00:17:30.450 --> 00:17:32.650
And you don't know if this is true. I've seen
385
00:17:32.690 --> 00:17:33.589
detailed story.
386
00:17:34.269 --> 00:17:38.630
I've seen multiple articles. So that's what I'm going with. Uh,
387
00:17:38.890 --> 00:17:40.789
I don't want to know if it's debunked, you know
388
00:17:40.809 --> 00:17:44.000
what I mean? But multiple sources. So he puts it
389
00:17:44.160 --> 00:17:46.880
on and he's like, I love it. It fits him perfectly.
390
00:17:46.920 --> 00:17:49.380
But he's like, it is hot and I'm sweating a lot.
391
00:17:49.400 --> 00:17:51.960
And they're like, okay, we'll take the lining out. They
392
00:17:51.980 --> 00:17:53.869
go to take the lining out and there's a name
393
00:17:54.569 --> 00:17:56.130
badge sewn into it.
394
00:17:57.009 --> 00:17:58.049
And the name is?
395
00:17:58.069 --> 00:17:59.309
Dorothy.
396
00:17:59.329 --> 00:18:01.880
Frank L. Baum, the writer of the books.
397
00:18:01.890 --> 00:18:02.099
The writer.
398
00:18:02.619 --> 00:18:05.420
The writer of Wizard of Oz. And they contact his
399
00:18:05.460 --> 00:18:08.019
widow and they say, we found this coat. Did this
400
00:18:08.079 --> 00:18:10.980
belong to Frank Bob? She's like, yes. She has photographs
401
00:18:11.039 --> 00:18:13.579
of him wearing it. And that's the coat that they
402
00:18:13.619 --> 00:18:14.299
wear in the movie.
403
00:18:14.640 --> 00:18:18.289
No way. That's so, that is insane if that is true.
404
00:18:18.670 --> 00:18:21.109
It's even insane if it's not true. Yeah.
405
00:18:21.430 --> 00:18:23.789
It's more insane if it's not true because somebody.
406
00:18:24.049 --> 00:18:27.410
But it's more crazy if it is true. I know.
407
00:18:27.769 --> 00:18:30.789
That's where the name Alphaba came from for Wicked.
408
00:18:31.029 --> 00:18:31.410
What do you mean?
409
00:18:31.430 --> 00:18:31.589
Frank.
410
00:18:32.039 --> 00:18:35.599
L bomb it was the closest thing he could get
411
00:18:35.619 --> 00:18:40.009
the person who wrote wicked yeah it said it was
412
00:18:40.089 --> 00:18:43.109
like the closest he could get to sounding like frank
413
00:18:43.190 --> 00:18:44.650
l bomb alpha.
414
00:18:44.529 --> 00:18:50.190
Um i had a really interesting crazy thing happen tell
415
00:18:50.309 --> 00:18:54.359
me this was years ago and before i tell this
416
00:18:54.420 --> 00:18:58.740
story i need Both of you to not doubt this
417
00:18:59.079 --> 00:19:04.519
because I'm 1 million percent positive this is correct.
418
00:19:05.039 --> 00:19:08.420
I don't doubt anything ever. That's why I live in
419
00:19:08.440 --> 00:19:09.660
this magical world.
420
00:19:09.680 --> 00:19:11.160
Okay.
421
00:19:12.059 --> 00:19:15.309
When I was in high school, my mother got me
422
00:19:16.029 --> 00:19:22.630
some hiking boots. The company was called High Tech and
423
00:19:22.690 --> 00:19:24.609
they were purple. Purple.
424
00:19:25.660 --> 00:19:25.980
Okay.
425
00:19:27.220 --> 00:19:31.940
Not my favorite color, but whatever. I wore them. I
426
00:19:31.960 --> 00:19:35.829
had them for years. And even though I didn't love
427
00:19:35.869 --> 00:19:39.069
the color, they grew on me. I wore them forever.
428
00:19:40.349 --> 00:19:44.730
So the sole of the shoe, the rubber starts to
429
00:19:44.789 --> 00:19:49.369
peel apart from one of my high-tech hiking boots to
430
00:19:49.410 --> 00:19:53.640
where when I walked with it, it flipped, flopped. And
431
00:19:53.779 --> 00:19:57.299
so I was like, I think it's time to get
432
00:19:57.359 --> 00:20:02.210
rid of these. So something I often do with clothes,
433
00:20:02.450 --> 00:20:05.109
instead of donating to like Goodwill, I'll go to like
434
00:20:05.759 --> 00:20:08.700
a closed dumpster or something and put it on top
435
00:20:08.720 --> 00:20:11.680
of the dumpster around the dumpster. Just, you know, for
436
00:20:11.740 --> 00:20:12.440
people to take.
437
00:20:12.460 --> 00:20:12.900
Okay.
438
00:20:14.539 --> 00:20:17.839
I did that. I put my high tech shoes.
439
00:20:18.740 --> 00:20:19.240
I have goosebumps.
440
00:20:19.279 --> 00:20:19.819
On a dumpster.
441
00:20:19.839 --> 00:20:22.920
You're like, somebody's going to want this floppy boot.
442
00:20:24.599 --> 00:20:30.069
A couple of years later, I am walking. May. I
443
00:20:30.109 --> 00:20:35.150
am walking down sunset Boulevard. Yeah. And, and, A woman
444
00:20:35.490 --> 00:20:42.160
pushing a grocery cart down Sunset Boulevard, who I believe was,
445
00:20:42.960 --> 00:20:49.660
you know, unhoused, was wearing purple high-tech hiking boots with
446
00:20:49.980 --> 00:20:56.170
one shoe with a sole that was flopping as she walked.
447
00:20:56.930 --> 00:21:02.289
And I was like, oh my God, there are my
448
00:21:02.490 --> 00:21:03.829
high-tech hiking boots.
449
00:21:04.349 --> 00:21:08.799
From high school i believe come on i i believe
450
00:21:08.839 --> 00:21:10.279
it a hundred percent so i've.
451
00:21:10.220 --> 00:21:13.240
Told people that story and they're like i doubt those
452
00:21:13.279 --> 00:21:20.519
were your high tech and i'm like those were my shoes.
453
00:21:20.329 --> 00:21:23.930
What if those shoes all came loose so anyone who
454
00:21:23.990 --> 00:21:28.589
has a pair has one floppy shoe no you know
455
00:21:28.609 --> 00:21:31.799
your shoes people You know your shoes.
456
00:21:31.900 --> 00:21:35.059
It was such a specific look, these hiking. And they
457
00:21:35.079 --> 00:21:38.619
were so from, you know, the, I don't know if
458
00:21:38.900 --> 00:21:40.890
it was late 80s, you know?
459
00:21:41.150 --> 00:21:41.369
Yeah.
460
00:21:41.690 --> 00:21:44.470
I'm telling you, these were my shoes.
461
00:21:44.670 --> 00:21:46.549
Were you tempted to be like, hey, where'd you get those?
462
00:21:48.049 --> 00:21:53.650
No, I was not. Because I'm certain that maybe she
463
00:21:53.670 --> 00:21:56.329
didn't even get them from the dumpster that I left
464
00:21:56.369 --> 00:21:59.670
them at. Maybe they were somewhere else. But I probably
465
00:21:59.769 --> 00:22:02.430
should have, now that I'm telling a story, I should
466
00:22:02.450 --> 00:22:06.359
have probably glued them before I donated them on top
467
00:22:06.450 --> 00:22:12.380
of a dumpster, but I didn't. Okay. I'm a terrible person. But,
468
00:22:12.920 --> 00:22:16.460
but that was a crazy, like, wow. It was, it
469
00:22:16.480 --> 00:22:18.079
was one of the wildest things.
470
00:22:18.480 --> 00:22:19.000
I love that.
471
00:22:19.059 --> 00:22:21.279
Seeing that all those years later.
472
00:22:21.299 --> 00:22:23.599
I once did a sketch at the Groundlings where I
473
00:22:23.619 --> 00:22:26.880
played a Girl Scout. Did I tell you the story
474
00:22:26.900 --> 00:22:27.900
about Kristen Wiig?
475
00:22:28.460 --> 00:22:29.230
No, I don't think so.
476
00:22:29.710 --> 00:22:31.950
Well, of course I was playing a Girl Scout. Shout
477
00:22:31.990 --> 00:22:32.789
out Girl Scouts.
478
00:22:32.809 --> 00:22:33.670
Oh, boy.
479
00:22:33.690 --> 00:22:35.509
You know those were my glory days.
480
00:22:35.690 --> 00:22:36.150
Yes.
481
00:22:38.009 --> 00:22:41.970
And I played a Girl Scout who was getting interrogated
482
00:22:41.990 --> 00:22:43.539
because she ate all the cookies.
483
00:22:44.180 --> 00:22:45.079
I'm sold.
484
00:22:45.160 --> 00:22:45.519
I'm in.
485
00:22:46.380 --> 00:22:48.460
I will watch an hour of that.
486
00:22:48.940 --> 00:22:52.380
And I had chocolate all over my face saying, I
487
00:22:52.440 --> 00:22:57.150
didn't eat the cookies. Who ate the cookies? And Kristen...
488
00:22:57.269 --> 00:23:00.529
Kristen Wiig was in the audience and afterwards she said,
489
00:23:00.549 --> 00:23:03.609
I couldn't pay attention at all during that sketch because
490
00:23:04.619 --> 00:23:10.539
you were using my childhood book bag or whatever you
491
00:23:10.579 --> 00:23:13.640
call a satchel. You know what I'm talking about?
492
00:23:14.119 --> 00:23:14.579
Yeah. Yeah.
493
00:23:14.619 --> 00:23:18.269
Yeah. So she had cleaned out her closet when she
494
00:23:18.309 --> 00:23:20.630
was in the groundlings and just threw a bunch of
495
00:23:20.670 --> 00:23:23.430
stuff in the attic. Oh, how funny. In case anybody
496
00:23:23.470 --> 00:23:27.210
needed them. But for years, like it was like, a
497
00:23:27.269 --> 00:23:29.650
mess and no one knew what anything was and I
498
00:23:29.890 --> 00:23:33.890
was broke. So I went up there to scour through
499
00:23:33.930 --> 00:23:38.690
all the stuff for sketches. for costumes and stuff and
500
00:23:38.730 --> 00:23:41.430
just grabbed a book bag at one point that's crazy
501
00:23:41.470 --> 00:23:44.710
it was her childhood book bag that she'd used from
502
00:23:44.769 --> 00:23:48.069
like five years old till high school and.
503
00:23:48.329 --> 00:23:50.509
Five years old till high school.
504
00:23:50.569 --> 00:23:53.390
Yeah she she said she used to like her whole
505
00:23:54.009 --> 00:23:57.670
childhood oh my god and then tossed it in there
506
00:23:57.910 --> 00:24:00.970
and i'm in the sketch and she's like staring at
507
00:24:01.049 --> 00:24:03.970
her old book bag that's.
508
00:24:03.410 --> 00:24:05.859
Hilarious this kind of thing like did you see there
509
00:24:05.880 --> 00:24:08.759
was a thing online that they found behind a locker
510
00:24:08.859 --> 00:24:11.740
in a high school a purse belonging to a student
511
00:24:11.759 --> 00:24:14.369
from the 1950s and they opened it up and all
512
00:24:14.390 --> 00:24:16.289
her stuff was in there and it was all like
513
00:24:17.339 --> 00:24:20.440
a a pen a ticket to the mardi gras or
514
00:24:20.460 --> 00:24:23.880
like like it was 1950s stuff not that was a
515
00:24:23.900 --> 00:24:24.920
bad example but you know a.
516
00:24:24.880 --> 00:24:29.869
Ticket to the mardi gras a pen and a ticket
517
00:24:29.890 --> 00:24:31.029
to the mardi gras.
518
00:24:31.009 --> 00:24:33.130
I do love the idea of like a time capsule
519
00:24:33.309 --> 00:24:34.509
no one does that anymore um.
520
00:24:34.950 --> 00:24:39.700
I just for my own life I have an ongoing
521
00:24:39.799 --> 00:24:40.619
time capsule.
522
00:24:40.839 --> 00:24:42.599
But do you bury it in your backyard?
523
00:24:43.119 --> 00:24:45.839
No, I have it in my garage and it's something
524
00:24:45.880 --> 00:24:48.960
I go through regularly. And then I, I get rid
525
00:24:49.029 --> 00:24:52.130
of some things that I don't feel attached to.
526
00:24:52.170 --> 00:24:52.910
Connected to.
527
00:24:53.230 --> 00:24:59.130
And yeah. And when I pack my time capsule, anything
528
00:24:59.150 --> 00:25:02.970
that's in there, I feel attached to in my past.
529
00:25:03.549 --> 00:25:06.119
And then, And then each time I go through it,
530
00:25:06.299 --> 00:25:09.180
I'm less attached to certain things and we'll get rid
531
00:25:09.220 --> 00:25:12.079
of them. But I have a time capsule. It's not buried,
532
00:25:12.119 --> 00:25:13.700
but it is in my garage.
533
00:25:13.759 --> 00:25:16.640
I can't believe you have one. That's pretty cool.
534
00:25:16.660 --> 00:25:20.480
Is it like a scrapbook? Like you're gluing stuff in?
535
00:25:21.200 --> 00:25:28.680
No, it's like a cabinet. Cool. Yeah. So anyway.
536
00:25:28.819 --> 00:25:30.660
Do you have any old Ponti's in there?
537
00:25:31.200 --> 00:25:36.049
It's only old Ponti's. It's just all Ponty Bonnets.
538
00:25:36.069 --> 00:25:38.630
I don't feel as attached to these Ponty's anymore.
539
00:25:39.869 --> 00:25:44.799
You measure out your life according to your Ponty's. What
540
00:25:44.839 --> 00:25:46.430
would our handsome time capsule be?
541
00:25:46.940 --> 00:25:49.059
Well, Girl Scout cookies.
542
00:25:49.440 --> 00:25:52.519
Someone told me last night at the premiere that being
543
00:25:52.559 --> 00:25:56.319
a pineapple apart lives rent-free in their head. Oh, that's great.
544
00:25:56.339 --> 00:25:57.599
We'd have to have a pineapple.
545
00:25:57.619 --> 00:26:00.559
That's very perishable, though.
546
00:26:01.279 --> 00:26:02.000
It might rot.
547
00:26:02.019 --> 00:26:03.680
So far, this is all perishable fruit.
548
00:26:03.720 --> 00:26:05.430
And also a propeller hat.
549
00:26:05.509 --> 00:26:06.250
Propeller hat.
550
00:26:06.289 --> 00:26:07.009
Yeah, propeller hat.
551
00:26:07.569 --> 00:26:09.890
A little cowboy. Some of our merch, probably.
552
00:26:09.910 --> 00:26:11.049
Yeah, it's just our merch.
553
00:26:11.069 --> 00:26:12.430
Our handsome hoodie and our.
554
00:26:12.410 --> 00:26:18.950
Little cowboy hat. Cowboy hat. A propeller hat, ponties. Lots
555
00:26:19.019 --> 00:26:22.559
of ponties. And Fortune's Girl Scout uniform.
556
00:26:22.940 --> 00:26:25.779
Yeah. I actually think I still have the sash.
557
00:26:26.180 --> 00:26:29.000
Do you really? Okay, that's going in. Yeah, come on.
558
00:26:29.660 --> 00:26:34.079
Can we put one of Fortune's plastic plants in? This
559
00:26:34.460 --> 00:26:35.359
guy's ready to go.
560
00:26:35.380 --> 00:26:37.700
How many plastic plants do you have?
561
00:26:38.140 --> 00:26:38.460
Two.
562
00:26:38.619 --> 00:26:38.900
Two.
563
00:26:38.920 --> 00:26:44.430
Two. I have two.
564
00:26:45.009 --> 00:26:45.930
Guys, I've been.
565
00:26:45.789 --> 00:26:48.069
Trying to hide my accent all this time.
566
00:26:48.410 --> 00:26:51.230
It just slipped out. I have two.
567
00:26:51.549 --> 00:26:52.730
I have two.
568
00:26:53.170 --> 00:26:54.990
I have two plants.
569
00:26:56.390 --> 00:26:59.809
I don't know why it came out like that. This
570
00:26:59.970 --> 00:27:02.930
one here. Oh, no, three. We have three.
571
00:27:02.950 --> 00:27:03.049
Three.
572
00:27:03.430 --> 00:27:06.440
Three. Three plants.
573
00:27:06.480 --> 00:27:09.960
Three plants. Three plants.
574
00:27:10.079 --> 00:27:13.099
And they all look great. Yes, yes.
575
00:27:13.119 --> 00:27:15.819
How boring would my background be right now if I
576
00:27:15.880 --> 00:27:19.289
didn't have this fake paddle plant?
577
00:27:19.950 --> 00:27:21.670
Oh, you know what we should also put in our
578
00:27:21.710 --> 00:27:24.269
time capsule is a ghost. A ghost.
579
00:27:25.450 --> 00:27:26.109
Yeah, I guess.
580
00:27:26.369 --> 00:27:27.450
Yeah, I guess.
581
00:27:27.650 --> 00:27:28.380
Yeah, I guess.
582
00:27:28.559 --> 00:27:29.930
Do you guys want to pull a tarot card?
583
00:27:30.559 --> 00:27:31.240
Yeah, please.
584
00:27:31.619 --> 00:27:34.539
I bought this little deck. Yeah, I guess. I bought
585
00:27:34.559 --> 00:27:36.569
this deck and I said to myself when I bought it,
586
00:27:36.960 --> 00:27:39.019
wouldn't it be cool if I had this till I died? Like,
587
00:27:39.039 --> 00:27:41.539
I don't treat my belongings very well. And I thought,
588
00:27:41.759 --> 00:27:44.500
I'm going to be buried with this deck.
589
00:27:44.380 --> 00:27:45.059
Of tarot cards.
590
00:27:45.539 --> 00:27:47.579
It's going to be like Kristen Wiig's backpack.
591
00:27:47.740 --> 00:27:50.559
Yeah. Okay, what question should we ask the deck?
592
00:27:52.440 --> 00:27:53.160
I want to know.
593
00:27:53.200 --> 00:27:54.259
Will we go past April?
594
00:27:55.339 --> 00:27:57.819
Yeah. Are we going to make it past April? Is
595
00:27:57.859 --> 00:28:00.450
this a group question or is this our own?
596
00:28:00.470 --> 00:28:02.630
Oh, we could do singles.
597
00:28:02.650 --> 00:28:06.150
Do you have something on your mind, Tidge? I do.
598
00:28:06.170 --> 00:28:09.230
I want to know, am I going to be based
599
00:28:09.609 --> 00:28:12.599
in Los Angeles or Toronto next year?
600
00:28:14.240 --> 00:28:15.019
You mean this year, 2025?
601
00:28:15.000 --> 00:28:15.259
2025. Wow. Okay.
602
00:28:15.319 --> 00:28:15.480
Okay.
603
00:28:20.630 --> 00:28:23.809
You tell me when, because I'm sort of ruffling around.
604
00:28:23.829 --> 00:28:26.130
I'm tired of you being in Toronto.
605
00:28:26.630 --> 00:28:27.740
Fortune's sick of it.
606
00:28:28.990 --> 00:28:29.509
Okay, now.
607
00:28:30.349 --> 00:28:31.750
Oh, love it. Okay.
608
00:28:32.289 --> 00:28:34.799
I'm running into your wife at events by herself.
609
00:28:34.880 --> 00:28:40.539
Wow. It's the major arcana. It's the magician. And I
610
00:28:40.559 --> 00:28:44.859
don't know if any of our listeners really know like tarot, anything,
611
00:28:45.019 --> 00:28:49.539
really know anything. Please tell. Because, okay, I'm Googling the
612
00:28:49.579 --> 00:28:52.319
magician because I lost the little book that says... No,
613
00:28:52.359 --> 00:28:53.299
you need the book.
614
00:28:53.319 --> 00:28:54.299
The book's important.
615
00:28:54.319 --> 00:28:56.119
I think it's in the other room.
616
00:28:56.140 --> 00:28:59.049
Wait, I want my money back. It's another room. I
617
00:28:59.069 --> 00:29:00.150
don't want to get up and get it.
618
00:29:00.230 --> 00:29:01.950
You pull a card and Google?
619
00:29:02.349 --> 00:29:04.910
It feels less magical when Google's involved.
620
00:29:05.130 --> 00:29:07.430
Yeah, it's like, I could Google, am I going to
621
00:29:07.450 --> 00:29:09.309
be in Toronto or LA next year?
622
00:29:09.329 --> 00:29:12.109
I need a leather-bound book telling me this.
623
00:29:12.549 --> 00:29:22.430
Okay, the magician... Power, influence, willpower, resourcefulness, skill, ability, logic, intellect, concentration,
624
00:29:22.990 --> 00:29:26.490
and psychic powers. This is a very strong card, Tig.
625
00:29:27.089 --> 00:29:28.549
But in terms of travel.
626
00:29:28.970 --> 00:29:32.009
Not travel. Will I be based here?
627
00:29:32.029 --> 00:29:35.230
I don't know where you'll be. You'll be powerful. Okay.
628
00:29:35.470 --> 00:29:37.589
We have more questions than we started with.
629
00:29:37.910 --> 00:29:39.430
And I'm really Googling hard here.
630
00:29:39.450 --> 00:29:42.190
No, I... can tell look at your face i have
631
00:29:42.250 --> 00:29:47.259
truly never seen somebody google that hard in public especially
632
00:29:47.279 --> 00:29:52.819
i know in public just publicly googling go to youtube
633
00:29:52.859 --> 00:29:55.500
if you want to see what may looks like googling
634
00:29:55.680 --> 00:29:59.660
really hard in public i mean this is it's uncomfortable
635
00:30:00.400 --> 00:30:01.140
I just.
636
00:30:01.039 --> 00:30:03.740
Love the enthusiasm of like this card.
637
00:30:03.759 --> 00:30:04.509
Oh my God.
638
00:30:05.529 --> 00:30:08.109
Is this a good card? And then we're like, what.
639
00:30:07.970 --> 00:30:08.430
Does it mean?
640
00:30:09.230 --> 00:30:12.210
It says you, okay. You're, you might feel unsure about
641
00:30:12.250 --> 00:30:14.750
what to do, but in simple words, the magician card
642
00:30:15.009 --> 00:30:17.430
is like a magic wand. It can mean making your
643
00:30:17.470 --> 00:30:20.589
dreams come true, healing in your life, thinking about spiritual
644
00:30:20.630 --> 00:30:24.029
things and feeling a connection to something special in love.
645
00:30:24.089 --> 00:30:27.650
It's about turning your romantic wishes into reality. It's kind
646
00:30:27.670 --> 00:30:29.329
of saying you can do whatever you want.
647
00:30:29.349 --> 00:30:30.150
You can do what you want.
648
00:30:30.190 --> 00:30:31.130
Yeah. Great.
649
00:30:31.750 --> 00:30:32.109
There we go.
650
00:30:32.130 --> 00:30:33.450
All right. That's all I need to hear.
651
00:30:33.470 --> 00:30:34.049
I can do whatever I want.
652
00:30:34.069 --> 00:30:35.529
You can do what you want, Teg.
653
00:30:35.569 --> 00:30:36.529
You're the boss of you.
654
00:30:36.910 --> 00:30:37.869
Okay. Thank you.
655
00:30:38.190 --> 00:30:39.230
Fortune, you want to do a quick one?
656
00:30:39.910 --> 00:30:41.190
Jax is the boss of you.
657
00:30:43.579 --> 00:30:44.730
She's the boss.
658
00:30:45.500 --> 00:30:47.339
She ain't the boss. Sure.
659
00:30:47.599 --> 00:30:49.839
That one was very successful. Let's continue.
660
00:30:52.170 --> 00:30:52.799
Oh, man.
661
00:30:53.140 --> 00:30:55.579
All right. And pull. Oh, wait.
662
00:30:55.700 --> 00:30:57.759
What did you ask it? Or do you don't have
663
00:30:57.779 --> 00:30:58.160
to tell us?
664
00:30:58.160 --> 00:31:03.200
Oh, yeah. I didn't think a question was important.
665
00:31:03.509 --> 00:31:06.089
Just pull.
666
00:31:06.750 --> 00:31:08.150
Does anyone have a question for me?
667
00:31:08.630 --> 00:31:10.049
What will you.
668
00:31:10.369 --> 00:31:11.529
Will fortune be treading?
669
00:31:12.049 --> 00:31:13.069
Treading and shredding?
670
00:31:13.109 --> 00:31:14.450
Just in general for.
671
00:31:14.630 --> 00:31:18.000
Treading and shredding. Will it be a year of good health? Okay.
672
00:31:18.220 --> 00:31:18.799
You tell me when.
673
00:31:20.200 --> 00:31:20.400
Now.
674
00:31:20.890 --> 00:31:25.930
The sun. Oh, this is a very auspicious card. This
675
00:31:25.950 --> 00:31:29.049
is a very important auspicious card.
676
00:31:29.069 --> 00:31:29.150
Okay.
677
00:31:29.880 --> 00:31:33.880
I'll just have to Google it. Because I'm outside treading?
678
00:31:33.900 --> 00:31:36.259
I just have to Google it.
679
00:31:37.119 --> 00:31:37.700
The sun.
680
00:31:38.299 --> 00:31:39.079
I'm really crazy.
681
00:31:39.700 --> 00:31:42.769
I love the idea of some kind of psychic. Doing
682
00:31:42.809 --> 00:31:45.940
this for people and just saying, okay, let me Google this.
683
00:31:46.420 --> 00:31:48.859
No, this is really direct. When it comes to health,
684
00:31:49.039 --> 00:31:52.059
the sun card is a positive sign. It represents energy, balance,
685
00:31:52.119 --> 00:31:55.259
and overall well-being. If you've been unwell, this card suggests
686
00:31:55.279 --> 00:31:58.849
a speedy recovery and feeling better than before. It also
687
00:31:58.869 --> 00:32:00.950
indicates personal growth and development.
688
00:32:01.210 --> 00:32:02.450
This feels like it fits.
689
00:32:02.470 --> 00:32:03.329
Yeah, it does.
690
00:32:03.349 --> 00:32:05.730
That card feels like it fits. Tig was like, I
691
00:32:05.750 --> 00:32:08.309
don't really know what Tig's card was doing, but mine...
692
00:32:08.589 --> 00:32:10.349
Seems like it's on track.
693
00:32:10.470 --> 00:32:11.589
It's right in the pocket.
694
00:32:11.869 --> 00:32:14.009
I think Tig's card was actually very on point because
695
00:32:14.029 --> 00:32:17.130
it was being like, you are thinking about this the
696
00:32:17.170 --> 00:32:19.400
wrong way. You're thinking like, what will happen to me?
697
00:32:19.599 --> 00:32:22.380
And it's actually in your hands. You have the power.
698
00:32:22.400 --> 00:32:26.119
There you go, May. Way to turn the beat around.
699
00:32:26.319 --> 00:32:28.180
Turn the beat around.
700
00:32:28.539 --> 00:32:29.880
Can you read for yourself?
701
00:32:30.539 --> 00:32:32.569
Real quick, if everyone's still into it, I can.
702
00:32:33.269 --> 00:32:36.170
Everyone is literally on the edge of their seats.
703
00:32:36.609 --> 00:32:37.390
Okay, well.
704
00:32:38.819 --> 00:32:41.559
Okay, I'm asking it. I want to ask it about love.
705
00:32:41.579 --> 00:32:43.319
That's all I really care about.
706
00:32:43.319 --> 00:32:43.720
2025, right?
707
00:32:44.579 --> 00:32:47.240
Yeah, 2025. All I care about in my life is love,
708
00:32:47.579 --> 00:32:48.160
and it's a problem.
709
00:32:48.180 --> 00:32:51.890
And what are you asking specifically? Because when you set intentions,
710
00:32:51.970 --> 00:32:53.069
they have to be specific.
711
00:32:53.609 --> 00:32:56.289
I'm asking for a card that will show me my
712
00:32:56.329 --> 00:33:00.349
best approach. What will yield the best outcome for me
713
00:33:00.529 --> 00:33:03.910
in terms of that area of my life? How should
714
00:33:03.970 --> 00:33:05.269
I approach it? Okay, ready?
715
00:33:05.490 --> 00:33:06.769
Okay, there you go.
716
00:33:08.380 --> 00:33:13.480
Drum roll. What is it? The Ace of Wands. A
717
00:33:13.660 --> 00:33:16.240
very auspicious card.
718
00:33:16.339 --> 00:33:19.980
Another auspicious card. What does this mean?
719
00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:23.420
Okay, the Ace of... We can cut out the Googling, right?
720
00:33:24.009 --> 00:33:25.410
The Ace of Wands.
721
00:33:26.029 --> 00:33:30.150
Cut out the Googling? Then what are we even doing?
722
00:33:36.349 --> 00:33:37.670
Usually Fortune's the Googler.
723
00:33:38.329 --> 00:33:38.609
Oh, okay.
724
00:33:38.630 --> 00:33:39.450
I do like to Google.
725
00:33:39.789 --> 00:33:41.890
In a tarot reading, the Ace of Wands can mean
726
00:33:42.009 --> 00:33:44.539
a new chapter in a relationship or the start of
727
00:33:44.579 --> 00:33:45.759
an exciting phase.
728
00:33:46.240 --> 00:33:49.519
A new chapter. So it sounds like.
729
00:33:50.119 --> 00:33:53.299
The Ace of Wands can represent creativity, excitement, adventure, courage,
730
00:33:53.339 --> 00:33:56.440
and personal power. Ace of Wands feels positive.
731
00:33:57.160 --> 00:33:57.660
Yes.
732
00:33:57.940 --> 00:34:00.059
Well, thank you guys for indulging.
733
00:34:00.119 --> 00:34:02.299
I think we should probably get to our question, right?
734
00:34:02.720 --> 00:34:03.119
Yes, please.
735
00:34:03.140 --> 00:34:08.489
Sure. Today's questioner is a Grammy and Oscar winning musician
736
00:34:08.530 --> 00:34:13.139
whose albums include Never Enough, Yes I Am, and most
737
00:34:13.219 --> 00:34:17.659
recently a collaborative release with Jewel. She's also known for
738
00:34:17.699 --> 00:34:21.559
her activism for gay and environmental issues throughout her career.
739
00:34:21.599 --> 00:34:25.420
Melissa Etheridge is asking today's question.
740
00:34:25.929 --> 00:34:27.130
Huge for the pod.
741
00:34:27.690 --> 00:34:28.250
Huge.
742
00:34:28.610 --> 00:34:29.510
Huge for the world.
743
00:34:29.829 --> 00:34:34.659
When we asked for a question, did we say, Come
744
00:34:34.769 --> 00:34:37.769
to my window.
745
00:34:37.789 --> 00:34:40.150
Come inside.
746
00:34:40.869 --> 00:34:45.550
Wait by the light of the moon.
747
00:34:46.409 --> 00:34:47.619
Oh, my God.
748
00:34:47.699 --> 00:34:48.900
Was that just like Melissa?
749
00:34:48.940 --> 00:34:54.519
That was beautiful, Fortune. I think that on this podcast,
750
00:34:54.679 --> 00:34:59.480
I was talking about like, what a On a previous episode,
751
00:34:59.559 --> 00:35:02.099
I think it was, this show, I was talking about
752
00:35:02.599 --> 00:35:08.639
what a major baller move to just be like, come
753
00:35:08.679 --> 00:35:12.599
to my window, wait by the light of the moon,
754
00:35:12.619 --> 00:35:16.760
I'll be home soon. Just come sit and hang out
755
00:35:16.980 --> 00:35:18.780
by my window. That is so true.
756
00:35:18.820 --> 00:35:21.179
I think you talked about that at a live episode.
757
00:35:21.480 --> 00:35:24.809
Okay. Well, I think about it all the time. I'm like, man.
758
00:35:25.969 --> 00:35:27.690
Melissa Etheridge is like.
759
00:35:27.750 --> 00:35:29.329
I don't know when I'm going to be home.
760
00:35:29.349 --> 00:35:31.070
She seems very confident to me.
761
00:35:31.510 --> 00:35:32.289
Oh, for sure.
762
00:35:32.309 --> 00:35:35.409
Oh, she's also got that, I'm the only one. That's
763
00:35:35.469 --> 00:35:37.469
pretty confident being like, I'm the only one.
764
00:35:38.150 --> 00:35:38.590
Yeah.
765
00:35:38.949 --> 00:35:39.739
Yeah.
766
00:35:39.820 --> 00:35:43.300
You can do whoever you want, but she sits by
767
00:35:43.320 --> 00:35:45.659
my window. Yeah. Yeah.
768
00:35:46.039 --> 00:35:48.900
I have no idea when I'm going to be home.
769
00:35:49.179 --> 00:35:49.639
I don't know.
770
00:35:49.659 --> 00:35:50.219
Can you imagine?
771
00:35:50.320 --> 00:35:52.039
I'm out. I'm out for the night.
772
00:35:52.059 --> 00:35:56.989
Can you imagine Melissa all, I mean- Lesbian rock star. Uh-huh.
773
00:35:57.489 --> 00:36:01.030
Selling out those big old venues. The lesbians must have
774
00:36:01.050 --> 00:36:03.289
been just throwing themselves at her.
775
00:36:03.730 --> 00:36:07.110
You know, I went to see Melissa Etheridge when I
776
00:36:07.269 --> 00:36:10.929
first moved to Denver when I was 19. I went
777
00:36:10.989 --> 00:36:11.829
to Red Rocks.
778
00:36:12.369 --> 00:36:13.050
Whoa.
779
00:36:13.449 --> 00:36:14.190
That's cool.
780
00:36:14.409 --> 00:36:19.150
Yeah. And I had no friends. And I just went
781
00:36:19.210 --> 00:36:22.070
by myself to see her. And it was.
782
00:36:24.900 --> 00:36:30.360
So incredible. It was so incredible. Did she rock hard?
783
00:36:30.380 --> 00:36:33.480
What year was that? 1990?
784
00:36:33.460 --> 00:36:36.719
Just all the dykes just rolling down the hill trying
785
00:36:36.739 --> 00:36:38.170
to get in her ponties.
786
00:36:38.610 --> 00:36:43.429
I was never into Melissa in that way. But as
787
00:36:43.510 --> 00:36:47.550
far as like rock star, man, she is such a
788
00:36:47.630 --> 00:36:53.179
crowd pleaser. Like when she, her concerts, you gotta go.
789
00:36:53.670 --> 00:36:55.289
Yeah, she whips her hair around.
790
00:36:55.309 --> 00:36:57.389
Oh yeah, didn't she have that hit song, I Whip
791
00:36:57.429 --> 00:36:58.110
My Hair Around?
792
00:36:58.130 --> 00:37:02.550
You're thinking of Willow Smith.
793
00:37:02.809 --> 00:37:05.780
And she was out and proud in a time where
794
00:37:05.980 --> 00:37:08.300
it was very dicey to be so, and she didn't
795
00:37:08.360 --> 00:37:09.619
give a F.
796
00:37:09.940 --> 00:37:12.599
Well, I think that's when her Yes I Am album
797
00:37:12.639 --> 00:37:15.739
came out, was when she was coming out.
798
00:37:16.199 --> 00:37:16.539
Yeah.
799
00:37:16.880 --> 00:37:18.320
I didn't know that. She had an album called Yes
800
00:37:18.389 --> 00:37:18.670
I Am?
801
00:37:19.030 --> 00:37:20.550
Yeah, I mentioned it in the intro, Maeve.
802
00:37:21.190 --> 00:37:27.150
Oh, sorry. Sorry, sorry.
803
00:37:27.150 --> 00:37:29.030
1993 is when Yes, I Am came out.
804
00:37:29.289 --> 00:37:30.070
What a badass.
805
00:37:30.389 --> 00:37:31.389
Yes, truly.
806
00:37:31.800 --> 00:37:33.510
Melissa has to ask us.
807
00:37:33.909 --> 00:37:35.019
Yeah. Hey there, friends.
808
00:37:35.179 --> 00:37:39.659
Melissa here. My question for you all is what is
809
00:37:39.739 --> 00:37:44.420
your go-to make and love song? What's your favorite song
810
00:37:44.460 --> 00:37:47.559
that you know is going to get it on, that you,
811
00:37:48.000 --> 00:37:50.420
your partner, you're there, you're going to do it, right?
812
00:37:51.300 --> 00:37:53.280
What would that be? Does not have to be one
813
00:37:53.320 --> 00:37:56.320
of my songs. But what is that song?
814
00:37:56.880 --> 00:37:57.440
I don't know.
815
00:37:58.619 --> 00:38:00.860
I knew Melissa was going to get sexy right away. Like,
816
00:38:00.880 --> 00:38:04.920
what song? What song? You're making love.
817
00:38:06.440 --> 00:38:06.619
To.
818
00:38:06.820 --> 00:38:09.269
Do you guys put on music when you get down?
819
00:38:10.349 --> 00:38:11.829
Yeah, a little tune.
820
00:38:12.230 --> 00:38:13.349
You put on a playlist?
821
00:38:13.469 --> 00:38:15.289
Otherwise it gets real quiet. What is the tune?
822
00:38:15.670 --> 00:38:18.550
Fortune? Where you're like, when you drop the needle on
823
00:38:18.590 --> 00:38:19.030
the record?
824
00:38:19.050 --> 00:38:22.400
Are you okay? Is everything good?
825
00:38:23.159 --> 00:38:25.400
Wait, what? That's the song you put on?
826
00:38:25.840 --> 00:38:29.409
Yeah, a tap. A tap. Hello? Soundcheck song.
827
00:38:29.530 --> 00:38:29.929
Oh, right.
828
00:38:29.949 --> 00:38:30.349
Hello?
829
00:38:31.010 --> 00:38:35.050
Three, two, one. I'll tell you what I think is
830
00:38:35.989 --> 00:38:44.880
by far the hottest, sexiest music ever, aside from all
831
00:38:44.900 --> 00:38:46.239
of Melissa Etheridge's music.
832
00:38:46.539 --> 00:38:46.760
Uh-huh.
833
00:38:47.250 --> 00:38:50.170
And I can never remember if I'm saying this person's
834
00:38:50.210 --> 00:38:54.639
name right or wrong, but Sade, Sade, you know, I mean,
835
00:38:54.659 --> 00:38:55.880
there is.
836
00:38:55.900 --> 00:38:58.179
You don't know Sade? No.
837
00:38:58.199 --> 00:39:04.059
Oh my, Mae, you're going to get pregnant if you hear.
838
00:39:04.119 --> 00:39:05.980
Smooth operator, yeah.
839
00:39:06.079 --> 00:39:09.059
Okay, but even if I'm going to get horny and
840
00:39:09.320 --> 00:39:12.780
pregnant if I listen to Smooth Operator by Sade.
841
00:39:12.860 --> 00:39:17.400
Okay. Not just that song. Oh my God. Like go
842
00:39:17.440 --> 00:39:19.940
through the catalog and see if you don't get pregnant.
843
00:39:19.980 --> 00:39:20.659
Just listening.
844
00:39:20.679 --> 00:39:22.739
His voice is smooth.
845
00:39:22.860 --> 00:39:23.320
Yes.
846
00:39:23.860 --> 00:39:24.780
That is crazy.
847
00:39:24.780 --> 00:39:27.389
Wait, are you doubting that that's.
848
00:39:27.389 --> 00:39:28.800
I like the little percussion by Sheila E.
849
00:39:28.789 --> 00:39:31.280
I'm doubting. To me, that's like elevator music.
850
00:39:32.559 --> 00:39:37.139
Okay, I'm not talking about smooth operator. There are other
851
00:39:37.960 --> 00:39:42.320
tunes of hers that are the hottest. I don't think
852
00:39:42.360 --> 00:39:42.880
you are.
853
00:39:42.900 --> 00:39:44.079
I don't think so either.
854
00:39:44.099 --> 00:39:46.059
Okay, because you say that you're going to do these things.
855
00:39:46.139 --> 00:39:49.099
Did you ever watch Chris Fairbank's video? No.
856
00:39:49.719 --> 00:39:50.360
I never did.
857
00:39:50.380 --> 00:39:52.000
I don't think I ever said I was going to though.
858
00:39:52.659 --> 00:39:55.000
Yeah. Yeah. You're better at not over promising.
859
00:39:55.159 --> 00:39:57.500
I'm like, yeah, you over promise and under.
860
00:39:58.579 --> 00:40:02.260
I'm going to check in periodically to see who has
861
00:40:02.300 --> 00:40:05.420
watched Chris Fairbanks cocktail video.
862
00:40:06.409 --> 00:40:10.250
I find like if, if a song is, uh, like
863
00:40:10.309 --> 00:40:12.769
has too much of a mood or too much, too
864
00:40:12.789 --> 00:40:14.969
many lyrics, it'll, it'll, I'll get in my head or
865
00:40:15.030 --> 00:40:17.769
it'd be distracting, but I have had, I have once
866
00:40:18.150 --> 00:40:20.599
hooked up with someone who, Okay, we're in the living
867
00:40:20.639 --> 00:40:22.679
room and she goes, can we lie in your bed
868
00:40:22.739 --> 00:40:25.239
and pretend we're in a movie? And I went, well,
869
00:40:25.739 --> 00:40:28.739
what does that entail? And we go to my bed
870
00:40:28.880 --> 00:40:34.239
and she puts on her own band's music. Like it's
871
00:40:34.300 --> 00:40:37.659
her voice singing. So I guess we're like in her
872
00:40:37.719 --> 00:40:39.500
music video, like basically.
873
00:40:40.460 --> 00:40:43.059
And then....
874
00:40:42.820 --> 00:40:43.920
Had sex listening to her.
875
00:40:43.940 --> 00:40:46.679
You can't promote yourself during lovemaking.
876
00:40:46.840 --> 00:40:48.599
I put my comedy albums on.
877
00:40:51.460 --> 00:40:54.659
You know what sexy song I like jacks to listen to?
878
00:40:54.679 --> 00:40:54.760
What?
879
00:40:55.159 --> 00:40:59.449
To get the mood going? Jamaica. Bahama.
880
00:40:59.809 --> 00:41:00.469
Stop it.
881
00:41:00.989 --> 00:41:04.610
Stop it. No. When she hears that song, she knows.
882
00:41:04.789 --> 00:41:06.030
We'll take it slow.
883
00:41:06.050 --> 00:41:08.420
That's where we want to go.
884
00:41:09.340 --> 00:41:11.400
And she's like, get over here.
885
00:41:11.519 --> 00:41:30.079
And I'm like, Jax, I'm not a piece of meat.
886
00:41:32.300 --> 00:41:35.460
I need to go back to May saying that if
887
00:41:35.500 --> 00:41:40.889
there's too many lyrics in a song that they get distracted.
888
00:41:40.949 --> 00:41:41.309
Yeah.
889
00:41:41.590 --> 00:41:45.630
And yet to be in a bed with 43 people
890
00:41:45.769 --> 00:41:50.659
and not be distracted. But to put too many lyrics in.
891
00:41:51.159 --> 00:41:54.250
I think it's in a song. Whoa, what's going on?
892
00:41:54.289 --> 00:41:59.070
I'm distracted. But like, full blown orgy. No problem.
893
00:41:59.369 --> 00:42:02.809
The music really dictates the mood for me. So it
894
00:42:02.849 --> 00:42:05.300
can be too like, like, if it's a playlist of
895
00:42:05.389 --> 00:42:08.179
random songs, it's like, you know, one minute, it's like,
896
00:42:08.699 --> 00:42:11.019
prodigies playing or something. And then and then so the
897
00:42:11.079 --> 00:42:15.219
sex is really prodigy style, really, really dark and crazy.
898
00:42:15.579 --> 00:42:18.119
Then Elliot Smith comes on the playlist. I'm like, okay,
899
00:42:18.159 --> 00:42:20.570
now we're crying. And connect like you know what i
900
00:42:20.570 --> 00:42:23.070
mean it's too much yeah it's like what.
901
00:42:23.070 --> 00:42:25.389
So do you have a go-to song may i.
902
00:42:25.769 --> 00:42:27.969
Have an album or so do you have a go-to
903
00:42:28.010 --> 00:42:31.800
song when you have a lot of bed visitors like
904
00:42:31.860 --> 00:42:33.280
what do you put on when you.
905
00:42:33.219 --> 00:42:35.900
Have that's just like a spotify list right for an
906
00:42:36.019 --> 00:42:38.480
orgy but i feel like may has a curated list
907
00:42:38.500 --> 00:42:40.550
can we start calling it a pile up a.
908
00:42:40.530 --> 00:42:46.150
Pile a pile on Just to clarify, I'm not having
909
00:42:46.230 --> 00:42:50.230
orgies every week, but the thing that I keep going
910
00:42:50.269 --> 00:42:54.530
back to is Frank Ocean Blonde, that album. But now
911
00:42:54.610 --> 00:42:58.300
it's at a point where I've played it too much
912
00:42:58.550 --> 00:43:01.760
in those types of scenarios. So now it's almost like
913
00:43:01.800 --> 00:43:05.019
it makes me sort of go on autopilot or detach
914
00:43:05.039 --> 00:43:08.059
because I'm like, oh, now it's this X album. You
915
00:43:08.079 --> 00:43:08.739
know what I mean?
916
00:43:08.760 --> 00:43:10.320
Okay.
917
00:43:10.539 --> 00:43:11.920
So I got to find, I got to mix it up.
918
00:43:12.860 --> 00:43:15.679
But that's a really sexy album. It opens with Nike.
919
00:43:15.739 --> 00:43:16.199
Is it?
920
00:43:16.480 --> 00:43:17.519
I'm going to listen to it.
921
00:43:17.960 --> 00:43:20.280
Oh my God, it's so good. Also, okay, this is
922
00:43:20.300 --> 00:43:24.590
going to sound crazy, but Zayn Malik from One Direction,
923
00:43:24.610 --> 00:43:28.230
his solo album, his first solo album, that's a hot album.
924
00:43:28.690 --> 00:43:29.309
It's sexy?
925
00:43:29.769 --> 00:43:30.150
Yeah.
926
00:43:30.530 --> 00:43:33.269
Sexier than smooth operator.
927
00:43:33.469 --> 00:43:34.170
Oh my God.
928
00:43:34.190 --> 00:43:38.110
What about I want to make love in this club,
929
00:43:38.750 --> 00:43:39.880
in this club.
930
00:43:40.960 --> 00:43:45.219
I mean, you are a human jukebox. Do you ever
931
00:43:45.280 --> 00:43:46.340
sing during sex?
932
00:43:46.760 --> 00:43:51.199
Me? Yeah. Oh, no, I'm winded. I need all my
933
00:43:51.280 --> 00:43:57.090
lung capacity. I can't be doing all that.
934
00:43:59.789 --> 00:44:04.130
Singing, dancing. Fortune has a top hat on.
935
00:44:04.150 --> 00:44:11.199
I'm putting on a show to distract. I think I
936
00:44:11.280 --> 00:44:14.579
usually do just go to Spotify or something. Yeah. And
937
00:44:14.679 --> 00:44:20.449
put like sexy songs. Yeah, yeah. But I haven't splurged
938
00:44:20.510 --> 00:44:21.650
for the non-ads.
939
00:44:22.550 --> 00:44:22.769
Yeah.
940
00:44:22.789 --> 00:44:26.050
So at some point it is. Wait.
941
00:44:26.670 --> 00:44:28.670
So you've got the mood going and then it's like.
942
00:44:28.690 --> 00:44:29.230
Simply safe.
943
00:44:29.250 --> 00:44:30.510
Yeah.
944
00:44:31.690 --> 00:44:32.650
Yeah. That's really funny.
945
00:44:32.969 --> 00:44:35.250
You're in good hands with fortune.
946
00:44:37.409 --> 00:44:41.449
I feel like I have had my own. stand up
947
00:44:41.610 --> 00:44:44.969
come on shuffle like when i had my old computer
948
00:44:44.989 --> 00:44:46.840
like in the early 2000s and you just have like
949
00:44:46.880 --> 00:44:49.559
your i don't know i feel like i have had
950
00:44:49.840 --> 00:44:52.480
all the stuff saved it's on shuffle yes and it'll
951
00:44:52.500 --> 00:44:52.940
come on.
952
00:44:52.860 --> 00:44:55.239
And you're like oh and then like a weird um
953
00:44:56.099 --> 00:44:59.440
voice note don't forget to pick up bread and milk
954
00:44:59.500 --> 00:45:00.480
at the store.
955
00:45:00.579 --> 00:45:03.480
Yeah oh my god i one time do you know
956
00:45:03.500 --> 00:45:07.710
you can tell your alexa to make a And you
957
00:45:07.730 --> 00:45:09.909
can just add to it anytime. Like you go, Oh, Alexa,
958
00:45:09.969 --> 00:45:12.099
add to my to do list. Like, yeah, buy eggs
959
00:45:12.119 --> 00:45:15.760
or whatever. So as a joke, my friend said, I
960
00:45:16.260 --> 00:45:19.300
won't say the names, but my friend was dating someone called,
961
00:45:19.360 --> 00:45:23.000
let's say Catherine, who we all did not like because
962
00:45:23.019 --> 00:45:25.420
she was really mean to him. And so we were
963
00:45:25.460 --> 00:45:29.489
talking about, about this. The guy dating Catherine wasn't there.
964
00:45:29.530 --> 00:45:31.849
And we said as a joke, Alexa, add to the list,
965
00:45:32.349 --> 00:45:36.349
pick up eggs and Catherine's head on a platter or
966
00:45:36.449 --> 00:45:40.090
something like that. Later, I was with my friend and
967
00:45:40.110 --> 00:45:42.559
I forgot and I went, Alexa, play my to-do list.
968
00:45:42.980 --> 00:45:46.039
And it said like, buy eggs. And then it said
969
00:45:46.360 --> 00:45:48.639
Catherine's head on a platter, his girlfriend.
970
00:45:49.300 --> 00:45:49.659
No.
971
00:45:50.019 --> 00:45:50.320
Yeah.
972
00:45:50.860 --> 00:45:51.659
She was right there.
973
00:45:51.679 --> 00:45:54.000
No, she was not there, but the guy dating her
974
00:45:54.039 --> 00:46:01.699
was there. And I was like, I was like, I
975
00:46:01.800 --> 00:46:02.619
love Catherine.
976
00:46:02.960 --> 00:46:03.699
Do you guys know that?
977
00:46:03.739 --> 00:46:05.900
I know how to two-step, you know, how to two-step
978
00:46:07.239 --> 00:46:10.340
and two-step is like ballroom.
979
00:46:09.900 --> 00:46:13.699
Country dancing, the country dance. Yeah. When, how does this
980
00:46:13.739 --> 00:46:14.900
fit into the conversation?
981
00:46:14.920 --> 00:46:20.039
So there's a version of a two-step where you're behind
982
00:46:20.079 --> 00:46:25.190
the person dancing and that that's pretty sexy. Really? And
983
00:46:25.349 --> 00:46:28.250
a song will come on like, maybe lock the doors
984
00:46:28.309 --> 00:46:32.809
and turn the lights down low. We ain't got no
985
00:46:33.010 --> 00:46:39.590
other place to go. There's something, something on the radio.
986
00:46:40.610 --> 00:46:46.110
And you're dancing behind them. This is incredible. I got
987
00:46:46.150 --> 00:46:48.110
pretty sexy during that song.
988
00:46:48.130 --> 00:46:50.590
I think two-stepping's pretty cool.
989
00:46:51.230 --> 00:46:52.690
I used to do it on the reg when Oil
990
00:46:53.150 --> 00:46:56.130
Can Harry's was in L.A. Now there's nowhere, so. Mm-hmm.
991
00:46:56.150 --> 00:46:57.710
I thought there was a.
992
00:46:57.730 --> 00:47:00.360
Jackson get experience, sexy, two-step, and fortune.
993
00:47:01.000 --> 00:47:03.789
Isn't there like a line dancing thing in L.A. going on?
994
00:47:03.800 --> 00:47:06.139
There's like a weekly queer line dance.
995
00:47:06.260 --> 00:47:06.579
Is there?
996
00:47:06.980 --> 00:47:08.099
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
997
00:47:08.139 --> 00:47:09.860
Didn't line dancing get popular?
998
00:47:09.880 --> 00:47:11.480
It came back.
999
00:47:11.619 --> 00:47:12.059
Why?
1000
00:47:12.440 --> 00:47:13.900
But now it's like Ed Sheeran songs.
1001
00:47:13.920 --> 00:47:16.820
What do you mean came back? When was line dancing
1002
00:47:17.469 --> 00:47:19.010
like taken the.
1003
00:47:18.949 --> 00:47:21.489
World by storm? In the 2000s? 2008 era?
1004
00:47:21.989 --> 00:47:22.489
It was?
1005
00:47:23.170 --> 00:47:23.710
Was it really?
1006
00:47:23.710 --> 00:47:25.449
2007 was hot, baby.
1007
00:47:25.469 --> 00:47:26.829
No, line dancing.
1008
00:47:27.610 --> 00:47:29.710
I mean, sorry, line dancing was hot, too.
1009
00:47:29.730 --> 00:47:31.730
Wow. Because I think that was.
1010
00:47:31.650 --> 00:47:33.730
Like Brokeback Mountain days. Oh, right.
1011
00:47:33.849 --> 00:47:34.730
And that put it in the.
1012
00:47:34.769 --> 00:47:37.510
It was very popular. It's coming back on the TikTok.
1013
00:47:38.369 --> 00:47:42.599
But now it's to like Ed Sheeran's songs like... And
1014
00:47:42.639 --> 00:47:46.039
people are line dancing to that?
1015
00:47:46.119 --> 00:47:47.159
I would love to hear.
1016
00:47:49.500 --> 00:47:52.099
What Melissa says, because I feel like she probably got
1017
00:47:52.139 --> 00:47:56.739
sexy a lot. Don't you think?
1018
00:47:57.619 --> 00:47:59.579
I know one of her ex. I think I know
1019
00:47:59.679 --> 00:48:01.199
two of her ex-girlfriends.
1020
00:48:01.460 --> 00:48:06.340
You're a lesbian rock star? Yeah. In those times?
1021
00:48:07.280 --> 00:48:07.739
Mm-hmm.
1022
00:48:08.179 --> 00:48:11.489
Like, and even now, but she's married now. I'm just
1023
00:48:11.510 --> 00:48:12.670
talking about single days.
1024
00:48:13.070 --> 00:48:13.429
Yeah.
1025
00:48:13.710 --> 00:48:19.230
I mean, we're just rolling in that bus. Fortune.
1026
00:48:19.250 --> 00:48:21.309
Fortune Marie. Fortune Marie.
1027
00:48:21.329 --> 00:48:23.760
There's a role in that.
1028
00:48:24.139 --> 00:48:29.400
That is our elder lesbian icon you're talking about. Melissa
1029
00:48:29.420 --> 00:48:30.980
would love.
1030
00:48:30.460 --> 00:48:31.320
Me saying that.
1031
00:48:32.719 --> 00:48:36.519
Okay. Would her wife appreciate? Her wife probably doesn't even
1032
00:48:36.579 --> 00:48:41.119
know that Melissa even dated before they got together. Okay.
1033
00:48:41.500 --> 00:48:43.059
Let's hear what Melissa had to say.
1034
00:48:43.760 --> 00:48:50.030
So my go-to song, I'm a big Sade gal. Pretty
1035
00:48:50.050 --> 00:48:53.070
much any Sade song can do for me, but Sade,
1036
00:48:53.090 --> 00:48:55.280
No Ordinary Love.
1037
00:48:56.320 --> 00:48:58.539
Oh, my God. The best song, Melissa.
1038
00:48:58.760 --> 00:48:59.500
That's go time.
1039
00:49:00.159 --> 00:49:00.659
Yes.
1040
00:49:00.820 --> 00:49:04.199
Sade, No Ordinary Love. This is insane.
1041
00:49:04.320 --> 00:49:05.280
Peace out, guys.
1042
00:49:05.320 --> 00:49:05.619
Love you.
1043
00:49:06.639 --> 00:49:11.340
Oh, my God. That is hilarious.
1044
00:49:11.389 --> 00:49:13.829
That's so funny. Oh, my God.
1045
00:49:14.769 --> 00:49:17.690
I think that was Melissa signaling to me.
1046
00:49:18.719 --> 00:49:28.110
That, uh, it's go time wow that's crazy okay this
1047
00:49:28.170 --> 00:49:31.429
is now i'm really committed to to starting to.
1048
00:49:32.320 --> 00:49:36.289
You have to listen to Ordinary Love, like she mentioned.
1049
00:49:36.389 --> 00:49:39.389
That song is so incredible. It's stupid.
1050
00:49:39.710 --> 00:49:43.070
I'll put it on the next time I sadly masturbate.
1051
00:49:44.619 --> 00:49:48.179
Oh, my God. Fortune Marie. Tell me.
1052
00:49:48.199 --> 00:49:49.360
I didn't say that.
1053
00:49:49.599 --> 00:49:53.059
I know, but you should not allow such things out
1054
00:49:53.079 --> 00:49:56.510
of that little cowboy's mouth.
1055
00:49:56.570 --> 00:49:56.929
Wow.
1056
00:49:58.250 --> 00:49:59.289
Wow. Wow.
1057
00:49:59.670 --> 00:50:06.199
Sadly mastered. Do you do that often? Yeah, I do.
1058
00:50:06.219 --> 00:50:08.820
Okay. Have a good boo-hoo.
1059
00:50:09.119 --> 00:50:09.840
A good boo-hoo.
1060
00:50:10.139 --> 00:50:14.000
Boo-hoo and a woo-woo and a ha-ha and a hey-hey.
1061
00:50:14.019 --> 00:50:14.639
Yeah, well.
1062
00:50:14.860 --> 00:50:20.030
Okay, I will, though, get into that singer. Yeah, I
1063
00:50:20.050 --> 00:50:21.269
don't know how to pronounce it, but I'm going to
1064
00:50:21.289 --> 00:50:21.719
get into it.
1065
00:50:22.090 --> 00:50:23.090
Is it Sade?
1066
00:50:23.389 --> 00:50:25.409
Or Sade. Some people throw an R in there.
1067
00:50:25.510 --> 00:50:26.090
Oh, really?
1068
00:50:26.110 --> 00:50:29.230
Is there an R? I don't know. I talked to, yeah,
1069
00:50:29.269 --> 00:50:31.690
we talked about this on my old podcast and.
1070
00:50:31.829 --> 00:50:32.829
Oh really? Yeah.
1071
00:50:33.170 --> 00:50:35.659
If you threw an extra R into all of our names,
1072
00:50:35.719 --> 00:50:39.159
it would be trig, fraud, fortune.
1073
00:50:39.940 --> 00:50:43.940
And merchant and mare.
1074
00:50:44.199 --> 00:50:45.880
These are the kinds of things I bring to the pod,
1075
00:50:45.900 --> 00:50:49.239
you know, and they're delightful.
1076
00:50:48.579 --> 00:50:52.559
And we appreciate it and we need it. Well, this was, um,
1077
00:50:52.840 --> 00:50:57.550
as always a delight and, um, So nice to hear
1078
00:50:57.610 --> 00:51:00.170
from our dear friend, Melissa Etheridge.
1079
00:51:00.630 --> 00:51:03.840
Yes, an honor. Thank you for paving the way for
1080
00:51:04.139 --> 00:51:09.780
us gays. Yes. Opening all those doors and being brave
1081
00:51:09.840 --> 00:51:12.460
in a time when it was really hard to be out.
1082
00:51:13.059 --> 00:51:18.119
Yes, opening doors and demanding women sit at your window
1083
00:51:18.599 --> 00:51:19.039
and wait.
1084
00:51:19.079 --> 00:51:24.420
Come to my window. Come inside. That's the Bob Dylan version.
1085
00:51:24.849 --> 00:51:29.170
I bet Melissa had a ton of women waiting by
1086
00:51:29.250 --> 00:51:30.369
her window. Yeah.
1087
00:51:30.389 --> 00:51:32.789
And she'd just have to rock up when she wanted.
1088
00:51:32.809 --> 00:51:34.590
Yeah, and they're like, what are you doing here?
1089
00:51:34.610 --> 00:51:35.909
What do you mean?
1090
00:51:35.949 --> 00:51:37.750
What are you doing here? She told me to come
1091
00:51:37.829 --> 00:51:38.750
wait by her window.
1092
00:51:38.789 --> 00:51:40.690
And she rolls up in a leather jacket.
1093
00:51:41.150 --> 00:51:45.179
Yeah, listening to Sade. And they're like, hello. I want
1094
00:51:45.199 --> 00:51:49.159
to mention the documentary Come See Me in the Good Light,
1095
00:51:49.559 --> 00:51:54.460
the Andrea Gibson documentary that is at Sundance this year.
1096
00:51:55.570 --> 00:52:00.750
It is a real, real mind bendingly incredible documentary.
1097
00:52:00.949 --> 00:52:02.320
I cannot wait to see it.
1098
00:52:02.449 --> 00:52:06.360
It's really, there's really one moment in that movie, a
1099
00:52:06.480 --> 00:52:14.280
scene that makes me laugh so hard. And then one
1100
00:52:14.389 --> 00:52:20.510
second later, the most devastating thing in the world. It is, it's,
1101
00:52:24.210 --> 00:52:28.349
Whether TV, film, or in-person experience, one of the greatest
1102
00:52:28.389 --> 00:52:29.710
things I've ever seen in my life.
1103
00:52:30.150 --> 00:52:33.719
That's amazing. I will be watching that, my friend.
1104
00:52:34.099 --> 00:52:36.300
Yes. Everyone, please check it out.
1105
00:52:36.480 --> 00:52:39.539
You can watch my special Crushing It on Netflix. It's there.
1106
00:52:39.559 --> 00:52:42.539
I would love for people to keep watching it. I'm
1107
00:52:42.780 --> 00:52:45.809
working out new material in Pasadena this weekend at the
1108
00:52:45.949 --> 00:52:49.380
Ice House. I see a little peek behind the curtain
1109
00:52:49.900 --> 00:52:53.739
and then Ontario and Oxnard, California, working out material there
1110
00:52:53.920 --> 00:52:58.039
and Irvine, California. And then my big tour kicks off
1111
00:52:58.239 --> 00:53:03.050
in Savannah, Georgia. So get tickets for my new tour
1112
00:53:03.309 --> 00:53:03.889
at my website.
1113
00:53:04.590 --> 00:53:08.170
Love it. I'm working out new material too, whether in
1114
00:53:08.250 --> 00:53:13.809
Toronto or Los Angeles, check my website, tignotaro.com. I also
1115
00:53:13.869 --> 00:53:16.329
have a special that came out a while ago called
1116
00:53:16.369 --> 00:53:20.219
Hello Again. And it's also on, you can get the
1117
00:53:20.300 --> 00:53:21.760
audio version out there too.
1118
00:53:22.099 --> 00:53:25.980
I'm at Largo periodically. I'm also gearing up to do
1119
00:53:26.039 --> 00:53:28.860
some music shows around. They're going to be announced soon.
1120
00:53:29.119 --> 00:53:31.960
Share an episode with friends and family. Help us build
1121
00:53:32.000 --> 00:53:36.130
the community so this show can stay on the air.
1122
00:53:36.150 --> 00:53:37.489
Are we on the air?
1123
00:53:37.909 --> 00:53:39.789
Get your handsome hoodies and sweatpants.
1124
00:53:40.250 --> 00:53:40.730
Absolutely.
1125
00:53:40.750 --> 00:53:41.429
It's cold out there.
1126
00:53:42.469 --> 00:53:44.030
Baby, it is cold outside.
1127
00:53:44.050 --> 00:53:46.599
So handsomepod.com for all your merch needs.
1128
00:53:46.860 --> 00:53:50.039
When you're sitting at Melissa Etheridge's window waiting for her, you.
1129
00:53:50.159 --> 00:53:51.579
Need a hoodie. You're going to need some layers.
1130
00:53:51.760 --> 00:53:55.139
Yeah, you are going to need some layers. But until
1131
00:53:55.199 --> 00:53:56.409
next time, shall we?
1132
00:53:58.090 --> 00:54:00.510
Keep it handsome.
1133
00:54:01.090 --> 00:54:04.000
Handsome is hosted by me, Mae Martin, Tig Notaro, and
1134
00:54:04.039 --> 00:54:07.019
Fortune Feimster. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by
1135
00:54:07.079 --> 00:54:11.599
Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and please
1136
00:54:11.719 --> 00:54:14.280
follow us on social media at handsomepod.
1137
00:54:17.190 --> 00:54:18.789
What a podcast! What a podcast!
1138
00:54:18.849 --> 00:54:20.190
What a podcast!
1139
00:54:23.469 --> 00:54:24.710
That was a HeadGum Podcast.
1140
00:54:25.989 --> 00:54:29.570
Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance.
1141
00:54:29.949 --> 00:54:34.179
Not checking whether it's called a wheelbarrow or a wheelbarrel?
1142
00:54:34.559 --> 00:54:37.539
We here at the Handsome Podcast need to do better.
1143
00:54:38.159 --> 00:54:40.659
We heard loud and clear from our listeners that it's
1144
00:54:40.739 --> 00:54:45.429
actually a wheelbarrow, and we're using this opportunity to apologize
1145
00:54:45.449 --> 00:54:48.110
to all of you for the embarrassing misunderstanding.
1146
00:54:48.519 --> 00:54:52.119
Yeah, check-in first is handsome. So check Allstate first for
1147
00:54:52.139 --> 00:54:54.219
an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in
1148
00:54:54.260 --> 00:54:57.829
good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions,
1149
00:54:57.869 --> 00:55:02.340
and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company & Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.