32 - Bleacher Creatures

WEBVTT
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Hey everyone, welcome back to Becoming Burnham.
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Today's episode is one I have been wanting to record for a while because I have spent an unreasonable amount of my recent life in bleachers, parking lots, baseball fields, gyms, and hotel rooms because of youth sports.
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I know I'm not the only one, Kat, right?
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Nope, you are not.
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But I will say, hands down, you've got me beat by like, I don't know, tenfold.
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Just because we have multiple sports.
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Today we're talking about what being a sports parent actually looks like and how a blended family handles schedules, driving, money, snacks, the things your kids forget.
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You know, the list goes on and on.
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There have definitely been times too when looking at the schedule, I look at a calendar, like the weekend, it'll be a doozy, a doozy.
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Calendar, what's what on the forefront?
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On the forefront.
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It is coming.
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It is coming.
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So if you've ever spent some bleachers, bleachers, between games, I had to pack a bag.
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And to pack a bag forgetting something important.
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Kat, if someone told you before you had kids how much time you would spend sitting in parking lots, bleachers, or traffic for youth sports, would you have believed them?
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Probably not.
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I don't know if you know this, but I did not play a ton of sport growing up.
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I don't know that I did either, really.
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I mean, they did ballet when I was a little girl.
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I did ballet for like a year.
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I cheered, I think, in middle school, but I cheered for not too many sports.
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I did pop warner for a year.
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Cheers that cheered.
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And then I did ballet for a year.
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I did ballet for a year.
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Did you do what was your sport?
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What was your sport in high school?
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But I also I did cheerlead and I played soccer as well.
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So yeah, I played soccer in high school.
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That was the only sport I did.
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And then I was in the marching band.
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I did the flags.
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Um, marching band.
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I don't know if you have to tell that about that.
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I don't think about that.
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Doesn't it?
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Yeah, yeah.
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What the creative artistic side?
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Yes, that was what I was going through.
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Okay.
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What's the most chaotic sports day you've ever had?
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Now that you've got two in wrestling, or maybe it's a sports weekend for you.
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No, so we haven't hit like the sports weekend again because so far Ella and Archer have been, you know, like everything's like on the same day.
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So this will be our first year where she's in high school wrestling on a high school team versus Archer who's with a private club.
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Yes.
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And so Saturdays will be for Ella and Sundays are gonna be for Archer.
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So this last year though, we did have a tournament where I don't know exactly how they split it, but Ella had to be there in the morning bracket and Archer had to be there in the afternoon bracket.
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Not that big of a deal, but we were there all day.
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That's the deal.
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Yes, all day.
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I believe that was also the tournament where Ella was really struggling to like get down to the weight that she needed to be.
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Not because, like, because we don't believe in cutting weight, we really don't.
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But she had started her period.
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Yeah.
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And so she was a little bit heavier than what she normally is, and like no fault of her own.
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Yeah, it's her body.
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She was probably retaining water weight.
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Oh god, it knows that.
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And so she all week long, she was like, just have to get down.
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What I think it was one one and a half pounds or something like that.
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And we went to weigh in and she was like point over, I think it was.
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Like people who were like, Ella, like go like take off your off, like go cooking, and she would make it.
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So she was so she had worked so hard, yeah.
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She was like, No, no, no, I'm just gonna wrestle at the higher weight class.
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And we were like, Are you sure?
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And she did.
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And it actually ended up being kind of blessing in disguise because she's like, I love wrestling this weight class, and that's what she wants to do.
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Yeah, she wants to wrestle at yeah, so she's been wrestling 35 and she weighs 130.
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So for high school, the plan is um to wrestle 138 and she's like 30-ish.
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Yeah, somewhere.
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But then she's got lots of room when she's making weight.
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Yeah.
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But that particular day, I think it was just the whole weekend.
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It was just a nightmare because we had the cutting weight.
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So she's I I mean, anybody has a teenage girl who's on their period, but also not eating.
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Um, they're not fun.
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No, I can't imagine they are.
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It was it was not a great experience.
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So that was leading up to it, and then having the actual all-day tournament.
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In this particular tournament, they would not let out outside food.
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Oh no.
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So then you're just resigned to like crappy tournament food.
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And then like this poor girl hasn't eaten all week.
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I mean, it's like BC has not stuff she needs to be eaten for sure.
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Not at all, not at all.
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So it was that was a mess.
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It was a total mess.
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Sounds like a mess.
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Yeah.
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But they had lots of mat time that day.
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So that part was good.
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Yeah.
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I think Archer had like seven, seven mat times.
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Wow.
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Yeah, that's good too.
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Because a lot of times it's just a couple here and there.
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Yeah, no.
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Oh, that's like seven.
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He could have had 12 had he, if he was winning the whole time.
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The kid who won, I think, wrestled 12 times.
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Wow.
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Yeah, that's a lot.
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Well, I know when you first signed Archer up for wrestling, Ella was not wrestling at the time.
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So it was just an Archer thing.
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So, what did you think you were signing up for when you first started way back when?
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Just a couple practices.
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Did you know you were gonna get in tournaments?
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Did you have any idea Ella would fall in love with it the way she did?
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Oh, god, no.
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Uh so I mean, you are the one that got us into wrestling.
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Uh, I had talked to you about how Archer needed something physical, and you're like, oh, Davey and just started wrestling, he loves it.
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Yeah.
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And I was like, okay.
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And then you told me that they had free free trial, do free trial classes, and I was like, you know what?
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Let's see if Archer likes it.
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And then it turned out Archer liked it more than Davey.
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I know.
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So I don't know what happened, and then we just kind of took a different direction.
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But but he loves soccer, yeah.
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And like that's this thing.
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I think wrestling is too it sounds weird, too boring.
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I I do agree.
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I think that was Davian's thing.
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It's very, very repetitive because you gotta get those movements in, whereas soccer can be a little more unpredictable.
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But like you have your match, and then you might be downtime for an hour or two.
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Well, baseball too, and he played baseball for a little while, loved it, and then hated it also.
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And I think it's the same, it just wasn't enough engagement for him.
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Yeah, he he is an energizer bunny.
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He is, so he needs it.
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Yeah, um, so we started our charger.
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And I mean I mean I got a fella like, don't you want to do this?
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I did it.
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It's really fun.
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You should totally do it.
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And you know, super excited.
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Yep.
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And she was like, No, no, no.
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And then she got into her little trouble.
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And so that's when I was like, you don't have a choice.
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You are gonna be doing wrestling because you need to do something that's going to like occupy your time, shoot around different people, like get you in shape.
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Cause like a lot of things that you do not want to do when you're wrestling four days a week.
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Yeah, because you're just like, I don't want to eat like crap.
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I don't want to smoke or drink or you know, do things that they should not be doing at their age, anyways.
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Right.
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Because it makes them feel like crap.
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Yep.
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And so um, she she got into it, and like first month, and I remember like Coach Daniel specifically, he was like, Do you want to do this?
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And she was she was pretty like, no.
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And he he'd be like, Oh, okay.
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And then I remember he had asked her, Do you want to compete?
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And she was like, I don't know, me.
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And he's like, No, do you want to compete?
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And so she said yes, and then all of a sudden he started pouring into her, and it was like a light switch.
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I didn't realize that was the turning point.
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Yeah, so it was not until she actually because like he had told her, like, you could compete.
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And I don't think that she thought that she could.
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She didn't see it in herself yet.
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And when he told her that, and she was like, What?
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Like, I'm capable, and she just started picking it up, and I will say, Ella is very much so a natural ass.
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Yeah.
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Her and Arlen both, I'm not like that.
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I never was like that.
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Kyle is, I'm not.
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Um and Archer is also not.
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And then I have to work really, really hard.
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And to me, I'm like, I have to work really, really hard to be, I don't know, mediocre.
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Yeah.
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Archer has to work really hard to be good.
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I'm I'm just struggling to be mediocre at this point.
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But hey, it's all good.
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I'm still going out there.
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Yeah, it's fine.
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Well, that's part of it too, is so it all started with signing Archer up for wrestling.
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Yep.
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Okay, and then and then Ella got involved, and now they're both competing.
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But there's another person who's going to I do jujitsu.
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Yes.
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And two days a week, and uh I was actually just telling Crystal the Jiu Jitsu coach, I think I'm getting worse.
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I don't understand how, but uh I'm pretty positive.
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Did she agree with you or was she like, no, you're not?
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No, she said that I wasn't, and but I don't believe her.
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Do you think you're overthinking things now that you know more?
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I don't know.
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I I don't know.
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I feel it's funny because I I tell her, and I've asked Ella too, I'm like, feel stiff, feel so stiff.
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I don't feel like my movements are fluid.
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And Ella is like, no, mom, I don't see that at all.
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But feel stiff.
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So that was that was another reason why I was like, maybe I should do some hot yoga with you.
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Oh, yeah, for the flexibility piece.
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Um, because I will say my joints hurt.
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Yeah.
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But they do.
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My knees are always hurting, my shoulders are always hurting.
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It's really hard to be in a combat sport when you're my age.
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More mature.
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My age, like getting old.
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Um, but yeah, but I don't plan on competing.
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Never.
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Crystal has convinced us as a team, women's team, that we should all do the mom's wrestling tournament next year.
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I cannot wait to be a spectator.
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It's in Alabama.
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I so it's a commitment.
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Yeah.
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It's gonna be great.
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I hope so.
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I'm like, if I don't I don't know, smush a mom's face into the mat, I'm gonna be so mad.
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I'm gonna be so mad.
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But I will, I will say, I don't know if I could ever compete with jujitsu.
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It is, it's terrifying sometimes.
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Yeah.
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I mean, it so I do struggle.
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Umce I get to the point where I can't breathe, I really have a hard time finding that quiet place where I can think through it because I do, I have like that panic response where I'm like, oh my god, I can't breathe.
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And it's just so interesting because a lot of the women that we're in class with, like, so impressive, like they can become quiet and like about being able to get out of the game.
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Like, how do you do that?
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Because it's breaking break.
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Oh yeah, it's oh yeah, oh yeah.
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But you've talked about too, and that used to be something you would do and do in wrestling.
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It's not about it.
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It's like being in an uncomfortable position, okay.
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More so than because like with wrestling, like you can't choke somebody.
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It might have some pressure on you, but it's not to the extent of jujitsu where you fairly have somebody pass out.
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Oh my gosh.
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Yeah.
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I mean, that's that's I would think it is normal to be scared in when you're in that position.
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I would think so too.
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That watching like the other women or especially some of the like the kids.
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The kids are I mean, they're wild, they're wild.
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They're just they're just they're crazy, they're crazy.
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But watching them, watching them, I clearly have some work to do.
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Yeah.
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With calming down, breathing.
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Yeah.
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Oh, that's crazy.
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Are these the only two sports or are there others?
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Yeah.
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So Ella, so Ella did do um boxing.
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Oh, when was that?
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So Ellen and Arlen boxed and we found 13 and 20.
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So also a contact sport.
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Also a contact.
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I I guess I have a theme here.
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Um, so they both did that, and Ella she didn't love it, but she didn't hate it either.
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Um Arlen was fine with it because it was a lot of movement and he Davian, yeah, he needed a lot of movement.
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Yeah.
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Um that's why he liked basketball too, probably.
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Yes.
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And so Arlen had done a couple basketball camps.
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He was on the basketball team the year he broke his arm, and so he didn't actually get to compete, which was a bummer for him.
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Um outside of that, that's it.
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Yeah, like Archer has never I mean, when he was younger, specialist coming at his face of a ball kind, yeah, um, was terrifying to him.
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So no basketball, no baseball, no football, no soccer.
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And he would play with his friends and then like a ball would come flying at his face, and he's like, Nope, I'm never gonna do that again.
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Yeah.
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And that's how he was.
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Yeah.
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And so it was really hard.
00:11:38.879 --> 00:11:49.360
But when his therapist actually was the one who was like, he needs something to get that um anger and aggression out, you know, especially after losing Arlen, um, we were like, What about wrestling?
00:11:49.519 --> 00:11:52.240
And she was just like, that is perfect.
00:11:52.399 --> 00:11:52.639
Yeah.
00:11:52.879 --> 00:11:58.799
Because especially for him, it's not just about getting the aggression out, that energy out.
00:11:58.879 --> 00:12:09.519
Yeah, it's so for wrestling, it's also about the dedication piece of it, the being able to think under pressure, being able to move past the pain or like do hard things.
00:12:09.600 --> 00:12:11.600
Yeah, because that's one thing with wrestling.
00:12:11.919 --> 00:12:12.480
It hurts.
00:12:12.559 --> 00:12:12.960
Yeah.
00:12:13.200 --> 00:12:15.840
Even when you're doing it right, yeah, it hurts.
00:12:16.480 --> 00:12:24.559
And to be able to know that, hey, my body can go so much further than what my brain is telling me it can was big for him.
00:12:24.879 --> 00:12:25.039
Why?
00:12:25.120 --> 00:12:25.919
I that's amazing.
00:12:26.240 --> 00:12:26.399
Yeah.
00:12:26.480 --> 00:12:26.639
Yeah.
00:12:26.960 --> 00:12:34.720
How much of your weekend, once you get into wrestling season, how much of your weekend is dictated by sports and how much of your your weekdays?
00:12:34.799 --> 00:12:38.879
I mean, is it just constantly all the time, or does it sort of ebb and flow?
00:12:39.120 --> 00:12:42.960
I mean, so wrestling practice itself is Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.
00:12:43.360 --> 00:12:44.159
That's a big chunk.
00:12:44.320 --> 00:12:45.200
So that's that's big.
00:12:45.360 --> 00:12:46.080
On top of school.
00:12:46.240 --> 00:12:46.799
On top of school.
00:12:47.039 --> 00:12:48.240
Yeah, very little time outside.
00:12:48.480 --> 00:12:48.559
Okay.
00:12:49.039 --> 00:12:51.919
With it being Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.
00:12:52.320 --> 00:12:55.200
Although with Ella starting high school to be a little bit different.
00:12:55.360 --> 00:13:01.360
So right now I do both practices because our archer is in first practice, Ella is in second.
00:13:01.440 --> 00:13:03.519
So we are there from five until eight.
00:13:03.759 --> 00:13:04.480
At the same gym.
00:13:04.720 --> 00:13:05.360
The same gym, yes.
00:13:05.679 --> 00:13:05.840
Yeah.
00:13:06.159 --> 00:13:08.639
And then when Ella starts up at the high school, is she over here at the high school?
00:13:08.799 --> 00:13:09.759
Yeah, she'll be at the high school.
00:13:10.159 --> 00:13:13.200
So and she does her practice three to five.
00:13:13.279 --> 00:13:13.360
Yeah.
00:13:13.519 --> 00:13:16.080
I think is what they're so like they're going right after they get out.
00:13:16.240 --> 00:13:16.480
Yeah.
00:13:16.720 --> 00:13:18.879
So I'm actually getting time back.
00:13:19.039 --> 00:13:19.360
Yeah.
00:13:19.519 --> 00:13:22.480
Which is kind of cool to think about because how did that happen?
00:13:22.559 --> 00:13:27.200
I I'm putting you in a totally like another program and I'm getting time back.
00:13:27.440 --> 00:13:29.039
So it's like having more time.
00:13:29.279 --> 00:13:31.679
But her tournaments are going to be Saturdays.
00:13:31.840 --> 00:13:32.080
Okay.
00:13:32.320 --> 00:13:34.000
And Archers are normally on Sundays.
00:13:34.159 --> 00:13:34.879
So it's every weekend.
00:13:35.200 --> 00:13:37.440
So it's going to be the whole weekend versus one day or the other.
00:13:37.600 --> 00:13:37.759
Yeah.
00:13:38.000 --> 00:13:39.200
That's a pretty big commitment.
00:13:39.440 --> 00:13:39.840
It is.
00:13:40.000 --> 00:13:40.240
It is.
00:13:40.399 --> 00:13:55.200
So that piece will be interesting to balance, but even like right now, let's say we only have one Saturday or one Sunday day, the whole weekend still ends up being about sports, whether it's preparing for the tournament or recovering from the tournament.
00:13:55.600 --> 00:13:57.600
Um, because you need both, honestly.
00:13:57.840 --> 00:14:02.720
So I need a three-day weekend every weekend during wrestling season, and that's not how it works.
00:14:02.960 --> 00:14:03.360
Yes.
00:14:03.679 --> 00:14:11.519
Well, and for people who aren't familiar with wrestling, are you committed to competing in every single tournament that's out there, or do you pick and choose your tournaments?
00:14:11.759 --> 00:14:12.480
We pick and choose.
00:14:12.559 --> 00:14:19.120
So I do, I mean, we've got parents and on the team that they do every tournament, no matter how far.
00:14:19.519 --> 00:14:20.000
Does not matter.
00:14:20.480 --> 00:14:20.639
Yeah.
00:14:20.799 --> 00:14:22.320
And sometimes even out of state.
00:14:22.399 --> 00:14:22.720
Yeah.
00:14:22.879 --> 00:14:24.799
Um, I do not have that kind of commitment.
00:14:24.879 --> 00:14:30.639
Like there's just no way that I can fit in pulling, you know, four or five hours away to do a tournament.
00:14:30.879 --> 00:14:33.840
And then you've got the hotel that you gotta get and you're eating out all the time.
00:14:34.000 --> 00:14:34.879
And I can't do it.
00:14:34.960 --> 00:14:35.120
Yeah.
00:14:35.279 --> 00:14:40.879
And so um, I do normally limit us to be within like a two-hour radius.
00:14:41.039 --> 00:14:41.200
Yeah.
00:14:41.360 --> 00:14:43.600
So as long as it's within two hours, I'm down.
00:14:43.840 --> 00:14:47.759
But if it's like really truly, I try to pick one hour, yeah.
00:14:47.840 --> 00:14:49.919
Like that's like my sweet spot.
00:14:50.080 --> 00:14:50.399
Yeah.
00:14:51.120 --> 00:14:52.799
Um, but I'll go as far as two.
00:14:53.120 --> 00:14:56.399
I want to say I did one last year that was two hours away, but not that far.
00:14:56.639 --> 00:14:59.840
So we end up being um, I don't know, it's been kind of weird.
00:14:59.919 --> 00:15:02.799
So last year, a couple of them I want to say got canceled.
00:15:02.960 --> 00:15:06.799
And so we ended up, I want to say on average, maybe every other week.
00:15:07.039 --> 00:15:07.919
We had something.
00:15:08.000 --> 00:15:13.279
Um, and then the year before that, we only had one because he joined halfway through the season.
00:15:13.759 --> 00:15:17.679
And then the first tournament that was available to him, he didn't want to do because he's nervous.
00:15:17.840 --> 00:15:23.120
And then the next one that he actually signed up for got canceled because of ice rain or ice or whatever it was.
00:15:23.279 --> 00:15:25.919
And then um, I can't remember, I think we were out of town for the last one.
00:15:26.000 --> 00:15:26.399
Oh, yeah.
00:15:26.559 --> 00:15:28.879
So I was like, well, that was there goes that.
00:15:29.039 --> 00:15:30.559
That was a whole season out the window.
00:15:30.720 --> 00:15:37.120
So yeah, so this this year is um, this is our first like full, full season beginning to end, two different programs.
00:15:37.279 --> 00:15:38.240
It we'll see.
00:15:38.320 --> 00:15:42.559
Yeah, because I I don't think Ella has as much of a choice with the high schools, yeah.
00:15:42.720 --> 00:15:43.279
Probably not.
00:15:43.519 --> 00:15:44.000
I don't know.
00:15:44.080 --> 00:15:46.960
Will they bust them to the competitions if they're away, or do you have to do that?
00:15:47.120 --> 00:15:47.679
I think they do.
00:15:47.840 --> 00:15:49.120
Okay, I'm pretty sure that they do.
00:15:49.360 --> 00:15:51.759
So it would seem like it if it's a sanction for high school.
00:15:52.080 --> 00:15:52.320
Yeah.
00:15:52.639 --> 00:15:58.559
Well, put yourself in, like, go back to some of those tournaments you went to last year or the year before.
00:15:58.879 --> 00:16:02.480
What types of sports parents drive you absolutely crazy?
00:16:02.639 --> 00:16:04.240
Okay, there's so many different types.
00:16:04.399 --> 00:16:06.320
There are so many kinds, so many kinds.
00:16:06.639 --> 00:16:11.840
So um, you weren't there for this one, but I wish you had been because you would have just died with me.
00:16:12.399 --> 00:16:16.559
Um, so middle of a match, a kid of starts crying on the mat.
00:16:16.720 --> 00:16:30.399
His mom came down on the mat on the mat to like baby her son, yell at the referee, yell at our coaches, and we were like, your kid being like a total a-hole gave our wrestler a bloody nose in the first 30 seconds.
00:16:30.639 --> 00:16:31.200
Oh my goodness.
00:16:31.360 --> 00:16:32.000
That's what I'm saying.
00:16:32.080 --> 00:16:34.320
Like, he's way worse than he needed to be.
00:16:34.480 --> 00:16:38.320
And then, like, we I don't even want to call it retaliation because it wasn't.
00:16:38.399 --> 00:16:43.759
Yeah, he just was a little bit like threw him around a little bit harder than he needed to, and the kid like cried.
00:16:43.919 --> 00:16:46.639
And the mom called, did she get in trouble for coming down on the mat like?
00:16:46.879 --> 00:16:48.159
Like she did, I bet.
00:16:48.320 --> 00:16:54.320
But then she sat at the other end of the gym and just dogged our team whole day.
00:16:54.559 --> 00:16:57.759
Like, I'm not talking for like 30 minutes afterwards, like all day.
00:16:57.919 --> 00:16:59.759
And if anybody was like, What's wrong?
00:17:01.360 --> 00:17:03.759
Those people, they just put me in a bad mood.
00:17:03.840 --> 00:17:06.319
And I want to say it was her son's like first match of the day.
00:17:06.720 --> 00:17:08.400
So um, so we got people like that.
00:17:08.559 --> 00:17:13.839
I cannot stand um, like wrestling parents who are just like, I don't know, and you were there for this one.
00:17:14.079 --> 00:17:23.759
If you have a child who, let's say they've been competing since they were four, okay, and you're going up against a kid who's been competing for three months, all right?
00:17:23.920 --> 00:17:28.240
Do we really have to make that three-month child feel like utter crap?
00:17:28.559 --> 00:17:36.160
Like, do we then there's never a time really to as a parent to be the one making another competitor feel any kind of way.
00:17:36.400 --> 00:17:36.559
No.
00:17:36.720 --> 00:17:41.920
And so we we had another parent who their their child is great, really, really great.
00:17:42.319 --> 00:17:50.319
Um, I will say I was a little upset because they they went to some beginner tournaments, not beginners, and we were there, and I remember Archer like looked at me, he's like, I'm not, I'm not wrestling.
00:17:51.279 --> 00:17:55.759
And he because he was upset because he knew like that kid's been wrestling for more than a year or more than two years.
00:17:56.000 --> 00:17:57.279
And it should have just been beginners.
00:17:57.440 --> 00:18:02.640
And I'm not the mom who thinks, you know, my kid deserves a ribbon for participating.
00:18:02.720 --> 00:18:03.519
I'm not that mom.
00:18:03.680 --> 00:18:04.000
Yeah.
00:18:04.240 --> 00:18:07.279
Um, however, I do think that there is a limitation.
00:18:07.440 --> 00:18:14.000
Like, if your kid is that good, then your your your kid doesn't need to make my child feel like they're never gonna be good.
00:18:14.319 --> 00:18:14.480
Yeah.
00:18:14.720 --> 00:18:17.279
Well, that's not the way the tournament is designed either.
00:18:17.440 --> 00:18:21.680
It's designed for beginners so that you can have somewhat of a competitive catch-up.
00:18:22.000 --> 00:18:22.240
Yes.
00:18:22.400 --> 00:18:27.440
And that's not what it looks like when you are going against somebody that that is that highly skilled.
00:18:27.680 --> 00:18:32.799
And then the parent turns around and messages us, oh, your kid did pretty good.
00:18:33.440 --> 00:18:36.000
I can really see that they're gonna be successful eventually.
00:18:36.480 --> 00:18:36.640
Really?
00:18:36.799 --> 00:18:37.680
I didn't know they texted you.
00:18:37.839 --> 00:18:38.240
Oh, yeah.
00:18:39.119 --> 00:18:39.680
That's weird.
00:18:39.839 --> 00:18:40.000
Yeah.
00:18:40.240 --> 00:18:42.319
Eventually, eventually with practice.
00:18:42.960 --> 00:18:44.079
I'm like, oh, thank you.
00:18:44.319 --> 00:18:45.440
Thank you so much for that.
00:18:45.759 --> 00:18:55.119
But like, who I know, you know, I I I think that parents get a little too busted when to me, I'm like, my kids are in wrestling or in a sport.
00:18:55.759 --> 00:18:56.720
It is for them.
00:18:57.200 --> 00:18:58.559
Okay, it is not for me.
00:18:58.640 --> 00:18:58.960
Yeah.
00:18:59.119 --> 00:19:08.319
And the only part that I need to be included in on that is teaching my children about resiliency, how to properly, yes, gracefully.
00:19:08.480 --> 00:19:09.039
Gracefully.
00:19:09.759 --> 00:19:10.319
How to win.
00:19:10.960 --> 00:19:11.119
Yes.
00:19:11.279 --> 00:19:12.720
Okay, because that's a whole other skill.
00:19:12.799 --> 00:19:13.039
Yeah.
00:19:13.440 --> 00:19:15.680
Um, all of those that's my job.
00:19:16.079 --> 00:19:16.640
And that's it.
00:19:16.799 --> 00:19:17.039
Yep.
00:19:17.279 --> 00:19:21.519
But it's not my job to be like, oh, you have to win every single match or else.
00:19:21.680 --> 00:19:22.400
Like, what is that?
00:19:22.559 --> 00:19:23.440
I know, I know.
00:19:23.599 --> 00:19:33.200
What kind of uh experience is that for the kid, even you know, that's just a lot of pressure, and and this is the time when they can learn to make the mistakes, to fall, to get up.
00:19:33.279 --> 00:19:34.240
Yeah, you know, all of that.
00:19:34.400 --> 00:19:35.680
We should just be encouraging.
00:19:35.920 --> 00:19:36.319
Yes.
00:19:36.559 --> 00:19:41.759
And then the last type of parent that I think is and it's not even that I'm like, ew, I don't like you.
00:19:41.920 --> 00:19:43.759
It's just I think gross.
00:19:43.920 --> 00:19:45.440
Um, it's the best way to put it.
00:19:45.839 --> 00:19:47.920
The parents that encourage their kids to cut weight.
00:19:48.559 --> 00:19:50.799
I I I don't think I worry about that too.
00:19:50.960 --> 00:19:53.119
It's just just being a really big health risk.
00:19:53.279 --> 00:19:53.519
Yeah.
00:19:53.839 --> 00:19:56.480
And I only say this because like I I did.
00:19:56.640 --> 00:20:00.960
I mean, I didn't I didn't personally high school because I was very tiny in high school.
00:20:01.119 --> 00:20:02.319
I didn't even have to worry about it.
00:20:02.400 --> 00:20:02.559
Yeah.
00:20:02.720 --> 00:20:05.279
But I watched all the guys on the team, yeah.
00:20:05.680 --> 00:20:09.200
And, you know, they would be, I mean, just starving themselves.
00:20:09.279 --> 00:20:13.599
And then I saw them like trying to compete when they just have no fuel in their body.
00:20:13.680 --> 00:20:21.920
And I get that like there's times because some competitions you have to wrestle at the same weight class throughout the entire year, which I do think is like we're talking about growing children.
00:20:22.000 --> 00:20:22.240
Yeah.
00:20:22.400 --> 00:20:26.559
You know, it's not, it's not high schoolers where for the most part they're pretty much done growing.
00:20:26.799 --> 00:20:27.680
We're talking about little kids.
00:20:27.839 --> 00:20:30.079
Archer went through a growth spurt halfway through last year.
00:20:30.319 --> 00:20:31.680
Yeah, and you never know when that's gonna happen.
00:20:31.920 --> 00:20:32.240
I don't know.
00:20:32.400 --> 00:20:34.400
And he jumped up, I think it was two weight classes.
00:20:34.559 --> 00:20:34.960
Wow.
00:20:35.200 --> 00:20:36.480
So like that can happen.
00:20:36.559 --> 00:20:36.960
Yes.
00:20:37.200 --> 00:20:40.079
And um, I do think kids need to have the freedom to do so.
00:20:40.240 --> 00:21:06.880
I think when we are like, hey, you have to be at this weight, and again, I know that there are certain circumstances that dictate that, but like if you can allow them to grow naturally with the sport, grow naturally with their body, they'll only be better because at some point that kid who's been kept at a particular weight for two or three years and hasn't been permitted to gain weight with his body, like at some point he's gonna have to gain weight.
00:21:07.200 --> 00:21:08.400
And then what is he gonna do?
00:21:08.480 --> 00:21:10.960
Yep, because his skill set is not gonna match.
00:21:11.279 --> 00:21:11.599
True.
00:21:11.759 --> 00:21:12.799
And that's really hard.
00:21:12.880 --> 00:21:13.039
Yeah.
00:21:13.119 --> 00:21:17.039
And so it's almost like you're setting up your child for failure later.
00:21:17.279 --> 00:21:17.440
Yeah.
00:21:17.519 --> 00:21:22.319
Like I don't think they haven't, they haven't picked up the skills along the way to be prepared for that failure.
00:21:22.400 --> 00:21:22.640
Yes.
00:21:22.720 --> 00:21:22.880
Yeah.
00:21:23.039 --> 00:21:26.720
So I want Archer to fail now when it really doesn't matter.
00:21:26.880 --> 00:21:27.039
Yeah.
00:21:27.200 --> 00:21:27.359
Right?
00:21:27.519 --> 00:21:28.480
Like he's in third grade.
00:21:28.559 --> 00:21:28.720
Yeah.
00:21:28.880 --> 00:21:30.240
Okay, he can fail at wrestling.
00:21:30.480 --> 00:21:36.079
It's not like a college is gonna be like, well, he failed that that tournament in third grade.
00:21:36.480 --> 00:21:37.440
Nobody cares about that.
00:21:37.519 --> 00:21:37.759
Yeah.
00:21:37.920 --> 00:21:42.400
So that he has the right skill set, the right mindset when he goes into high school.
00:21:42.559 --> 00:21:43.440
Yeah, that's a good point.
00:21:43.680 --> 00:21:45.599
What about you as a wrestling parent?
00:21:45.759 --> 00:21:47.279
Do you are you a loud parent?
00:21:47.440 --> 00:21:48.720
Are you a quiet parent?
00:21:49.039 --> 00:21:49.759
What do you think?
00:21:50.000 --> 00:21:51.119
You sat next to me.
00:21:51.359 --> 00:21:53.680
Um, you're kind of both, actually.
00:21:53.920 --> 00:21:59.759
I mean, you're very focused and intense on what's happening, but um, you do also have.
00:22:00.079 --> 00:22:06.640
Um I didn't to be held onto the bat, though weren't you kind of like asked to take it down a couple notches?
00:22:06.880 --> 00:22:07.200
One time.
00:22:07.359 --> 00:22:08.480
That was one time.
00:22:08.720 --> 00:22:09.359
One time.
00:22:09.519 --> 00:22:10.559
Okay, one time.
00:22:10.880 --> 00:22:12.559
Um, and it was their fault.
00:22:12.720 --> 00:22:15.200
They were like, sit right here, and then I did.
00:22:15.279 --> 00:22:17.599
And so then I was yelling and I was right there.
00:22:17.680 --> 00:22:19.279
And they were like, Well, he was looking right at you.
00:22:19.440 --> 00:22:20.480
Archer was looking right at you.
00:22:20.559 --> 00:22:25.680
Like, he was, and so they had asked me to like come over here so that Archer's looking at us.
00:22:25.759 --> 00:22:26.000
Yeah.
00:22:26.160 --> 00:22:27.119
And I was like, that's fine.
00:22:27.359 --> 00:22:31.359
Um, but yeah, no, I have been able to like be a little bit quieter sometimes.
00:22:31.680 --> 00:22:32.880
But you're not always loud.
00:22:32.960 --> 00:22:34.000
I mean, there is a balance.
00:22:34.240 --> 00:22:34.799
There is a balance.
00:22:34.960 --> 00:22:43.839
It's when it's when it starts getting really um close, or you know, something happens, somebody does a move or something, or you know, it's aggressive for no reason.
00:22:44.160 --> 00:22:54.799
The time that I got, I would say scolded is so and I get why he scolded me, but I like was watching my kid not put in his best effort.
00:22:54.880 --> 00:22:55.200
Yeah.
00:22:55.359 --> 00:22:56.880
And that infuriated me.
00:22:56.960 --> 00:22:59.759
And I was just like, no, like that's not okay.
00:23:00.160 --> 00:23:06.880
And so when he got off the mat after like they're supposed to talk to their coaches, like I immediately was like, that was not okay.
00:23:07.119 --> 00:23:08.880
And the coaches were like, you could talk to him after.
00:23:08.960 --> 00:23:10.079
And I'm like, that's fine.
00:23:10.160 --> 00:23:10.400
Yeah.
00:23:10.640 --> 00:23:11.839
But I was so mad.
00:23:11.920 --> 00:23:12.160
Yeah.
00:23:12.319 --> 00:23:15.839
Because that I don't care if you lose, I don't care if you win.
00:23:16.079 --> 00:23:17.279
I mean, like, if you win, cool.
00:23:17.519 --> 00:23:19.039
But like, I don't care if you lose.
00:23:19.279 --> 00:23:21.200
I care about the effort that you put forth.
00:23:21.279 --> 00:23:21.440
Yeah.
00:23:21.599 --> 00:23:25.519
And if you go out there and you give up, that's not acceptable to me.
00:23:25.599 --> 00:23:25.759
Yeah.
00:23:26.000 --> 00:23:32.079
Of all the things that you could do, that's probably the last one I would choose to do as if I was my kid.
00:23:32.319 --> 00:23:34.160
Um, like he was like looking at me.
00:23:34.240 --> 00:23:36.799
I remember Archie looking at me and just giving up.
00:23:36.960 --> 00:23:37.039
Yeah.
00:23:37.359 --> 00:23:39.200
I was so I think we were there for that one.
00:23:39.599 --> 00:23:40.880
Because I think he was just laying there.
00:23:40.960 --> 00:23:41.119
Yeah.
00:23:41.200 --> 00:23:41.359
Yeah.
00:23:41.519 --> 00:23:44.240
Like he laid down and and pinned himself, practically.
00:23:44.559 --> 00:23:45.039
Basically.
00:23:45.279 --> 00:23:46.960
And because he was, he was mad.
00:23:47.039 --> 00:23:47.839
He was frustrated.
00:23:47.920 --> 00:23:54.559
Like the the I mean, I will say, like, the kid had pulled his headgear and had um like pulled the strap off, and like it was like essentially broken.
00:23:54.720 --> 00:23:54.960
Yeah.
00:23:55.119 --> 00:23:56.960
And so Archer was frustrated.
00:23:57.119 --> 00:23:57.440
Yeah.
00:23:57.599 --> 00:23:59.440
And just was like, well, that's it.
00:23:59.519 --> 00:24:00.480
I'm not gonna do it anymore.
00:24:00.640 --> 00:24:02.640
And I'm like, that's just but you know what?
00:24:02.720 --> 00:24:03.680
That kid is gone.
00:24:03.759 --> 00:24:06.720
He he is totally different on the mat now.
00:24:06.960 --> 00:24:08.079
He would never do that now.
00:24:08.240 --> 00:24:09.119
No, ever.
00:24:09.519 --> 00:24:10.960
Like that, it's just gone.
00:24:11.119 --> 00:24:11.839
That is gone.
00:24:12.000 --> 00:24:12.240
Yes.
00:24:12.720 --> 00:24:14.880
I mean, he has he has grown so much.
00:24:15.119 --> 00:24:18.720
Have you ever witnessed a parent completely lose it at a wrestling tournament?
00:24:19.039 --> 00:24:20.000
I've definitely seen that.
00:24:20.079 --> 00:24:21.359
I mean, I saw that in high school even.
00:24:21.599 --> 00:24:21.920
Oh, yeah.
00:24:22.240 --> 00:24:22.880
Oh god, yeah.
00:24:23.359 --> 00:24:26.160
I mean, my one of my coaches got kicked out before.
00:24:26.960 --> 00:24:27.440
Absolutely.
00:24:27.599 --> 00:24:33.920
Um, because they, you know, didn't agree with the coach's call and or I'm sorry, referee's call, and they got out there and they got in the ref space.
00:24:34.000 --> 00:24:40.480
And I remember like we're all watching because at the time, um, so I was a map mate, and not like it's not a cheerleader.
00:24:40.799 --> 00:24:43.920
I don't, I guess, here sometimes it's cheerleaders, but as a scorekeeper.
00:24:44.559 --> 00:24:46.880
And because this is before everything was digital.
00:24:46.960 --> 00:24:47.119
Yeah.
00:24:47.279 --> 00:24:49.039
It was literally on paper and flip thing.
00:24:49.200 --> 00:24:51.279
And it's like we're sitting there and we're like scorekeeping.
00:24:51.519 --> 00:24:55.119
And our our coach is like, here's the ref and here's our coach.
00:24:55.200 --> 00:24:59.359
And he was like, You could see him like sitting like onto the freaking ref's face.
00:24:59.440 --> 00:25:02.240
And that ref was like, get out, and like, do not come back.
00:25:02.319 --> 00:25:03.519
Like, do not come back.
00:25:03.680 --> 00:25:07.759
Well, I have some questions about um bleacher creatures.
00:25:07.920 --> 00:25:08.160
Okay.
00:25:08.319 --> 00:25:12.079
And I was gonna see between the two of us who's who okay.
00:25:12.319 --> 00:25:14.240
Um, who brings the most snacks?
00:25:14.400 --> 00:25:15.359
I bring the most snacks.
00:25:15.440 --> 00:25:15.920
I think you do.
00:25:16.000 --> 00:25:16.960
I have up my game though.
00:25:17.200 --> 00:25:18.160
You haven't seen me in a while.
00:25:18.319 --> 00:25:19.759
This is I have up my game.
00:25:19.839 --> 00:25:20.880
I even have a checklist.
00:25:21.039 --> 00:25:21.839
Oh, you have a checklist.
00:25:22.000 --> 00:25:23.440
So we might be neck and neck on that one.
00:25:23.599 --> 00:25:23.839
Okay.
00:25:24.000 --> 00:25:25.440
Who knows everyone's stats?
00:25:25.599 --> 00:25:26.240
It's not me.
00:25:26.480 --> 00:25:28.960
I was like, I'm probably it's probably it's absolutely you.
00:25:29.279 --> 00:25:29.920
I okay.
00:25:30.079 --> 00:25:30.400
Yeah.
00:25:30.640 --> 00:25:33.759
I can find them now in the app and I know how to do all that.
00:25:34.160 --> 00:25:36.160
I like to do my research beforehand.
00:25:36.480 --> 00:25:37.200
I like to know.
00:25:37.519 --> 00:25:42.319
In fact, I probably learned that from you because you were the one who was like, okay, we'll look up this kid, who's Draden up against?
00:25:42.400 --> 00:25:44.079
And then we would look at his competition.
00:25:44.559 --> 00:25:50.000
You have to know, like, is your child are is your child the kind of kid needs to know what they're up against?
00:25:50.160 --> 00:25:52.319
Like, will that help ease some of their anxiety?
00:25:52.559 --> 00:25:54.799
Or is that going to make them more anxious?
00:25:54.960 --> 00:25:55.119
Yeah.
00:25:55.359 --> 00:25:58.640
Because like I looked at like Archer versus Ronan.
00:25:58.720 --> 00:25:58.960
Yeah.
00:25:59.200 --> 00:26:03.039
Ronan, he, I mean, like, he got to the point where he was competing against the same people.
00:26:03.119 --> 00:26:03.200
Yeah.
00:26:03.440 --> 00:26:04.559
So he knew what he was up against.
00:26:04.720 --> 00:26:05.039
Right.
00:26:05.200 --> 00:26:08.880
But like, he didn't do well if he knew somebody else's stats.
00:26:09.119 --> 00:26:10.160
Because he'd get in his own head.
00:26:10.240 --> 00:26:10.400
Yeah.
00:26:10.559 --> 00:26:15.519
Whereas like Archer needed to know that I'm going to be going up against somebody really good.
00:26:15.599 --> 00:26:15.759
Yeah.
00:26:15.920 --> 00:26:22.799
They're going to give me a run for my money, or I need to focus on this, or I want to go watch their next match so I can see the kind of movies that they do.
00:26:23.039 --> 00:26:23.279
Uh-huh.
00:26:23.519 --> 00:26:26.640
Ella is sometimes she needs to know and sometimes not.
00:26:27.119 --> 00:26:29.359
Because she she does sometimes get in her head too.
00:26:29.440 --> 00:26:29.759
Yeah.
00:26:29.839 --> 00:26:31.359
Um, but almost like the opposite.
00:26:31.440 --> 00:26:36.720
If she goes against somebody who like thinks that she'll beat, then she doesn't always perform the best.
00:26:36.799 --> 00:26:37.039
Yeah.
00:26:37.440 --> 00:26:45.119
Whereas if she's going against somebody where she's like, I either know I'm not gonna win or like it's gonna be a really hard match, she puts in a lot of yeah.
00:26:45.200 --> 00:26:46.400
I think Jordan's kind of like that too.
00:26:46.559 --> 00:26:50.319
Um but I think what ends up, I mean, I I think they just take her by surprise.
00:26:50.400 --> 00:26:50.480
Yeah.
00:26:52.240 --> 00:26:53.680
And she'll make a mistake.
00:26:53.759 --> 00:26:54.160
Yep.
00:26:54.319 --> 00:27:00.799
Um, I will say wrestling is one of the only sports that I've ever, I mean, like that I can think of where talent doesn't always matter.
00:27:00.960 --> 00:27:01.279
Right.
00:27:01.519 --> 00:27:03.119
Strategy is a big, big part.
00:27:03.440 --> 00:27:04.319
It really is.
00:27:04.480 --> 00:27:15.279
And like not only that, like being able to recover from a mistake, like if if you can't quickly, you could be, you could be top seated and make a really stupid mistake and blow it.
00:27:15.440 --> 00:27:15.599
Yeah.
00:27:15.759 --> 00:27:22.000
We I mean, we saw a girl um in the freestyle season who she was seated first and she was very good.
00:27:22.079 --> 00:27:22.400
Yeah.
00:27:22.640 --> 00:27:30.000
And she she made just a really like just it wasn't even a big mistake, but it was a minor mistake, and it caught her, cost her her match.
00:27:30.240 --> 00:27:30.559
Wow.
00:27:30.880 --> 00:27:36.799
The first her first round and that put her down to the point where she could not get anything better than third.
00:27:36.960 --> 00:27:37.599
Oh wow.
00:27:37.839 --> 00:27:38.960
And like that sucks.
00:27:39.119 --> 00:27:39.279
Yeah.
00:27:39.440 --> 00:27:42.079
When you're like, I am good enough.
00:27:42.160 --> 00:27:42.400
Yeah.
00:27:42.559 --> 00:27:44.000
Like I should be first.
00:27:44.160 --> 00:27:44.400
Yeah.
00:27:44.480 --> 00:27:45.599
But she didn't get first.
00:27:46.160 --> 00:27:46.559
Mm-hmm.
00:27:46.799 --> 00:27:47.359
It happens.
00:27:47.519 --> 00:27:48.640
It does happen for sure.
00:27:48.880 --> 00:27:50.000
Who's always late?
00:27:50.160 --> 00:27:51.279
I don't feel like I'm late.
00:27:51.359 --> 00:27:54.480
No, I don't think I was like, I was like, wait a second, I'm like, not me.
00:27:54.559 --> 00:27:56.160
I thought you'd immediately go, uh, you.
00:27:56.400 --> 00:27:57.359
I mean, you for sure.
00:27:57.440 --> 00:27:58.240
I mean, it's definitely not me.
00:27:58.640 --> 00:27:59.279
I'm late.
00:27:59.440 --> 00:27:59.599
Okay.
00:27:59.839 --> 00:28:00.880
But I'm not early.
00:28:01.599 --> 00:28:03.119
You are late, late sometimes.
00:28:03.359 --> 00:28:06.880
Do you not remember when Draden almost missed Wayne's and I was like calling?
00:28:07.359 --> 00:28:08.400
It's not my fault.
00:28:08.559 --> 00:28:09.599
That was not my fault.
00:28:09.759 --> 00:28:11.519
We were going by what was published.
00:28:11.599 --> 00:28:13.599
I never got a message that it changed.
00:28:13.839 --> 00:28:16.559
I was telling the officials, they're gonna be here.
00:28:16.640 --> 00:28:17.200
They're gonna be here.
00:28:17.359 --> 00:28:20.720
But you wouldn't even tell me the truth that he was like about to miss his turn.
00:28:22.799 --> 00:28:24.559
So I was just like, just get here safely.
00:28:24.880 --> 00:28:25.680
It's gonna be fine.
00:28:25.920 --> 00:28:26.720
We're on the way.
00:28:26.799 --> 00:28:27.680
That was not my fault.
00:28:27.839 --> 00:28:32.160
But because I'm not early, it you know, was worse than it could have been.
00:28:32.480 --> 00:28:33.200
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:28:33.440 --> 00:28:37.200
I do try now to like make sure like I I like double check.
00:28:37.359 --> 00:28:40.960
Like, like, oh, like what time is like middle school way ins?
00:28:41.200 --> 00:28:41.440
Uh-huh.
00:28:41.599 --> 00:28:43.599
Like, it's what time is trade in need to be here.
00:28:45.440 --> 00:28:45.759
Yes.
00:28:45.920 --> 00:28:50.319
If they put out a flyer and I put that on my calendar, I'm not gonna check again.
00:28:50.480 --> 00:28:53.039
Like it's that's what time they said it's starting.
00:28:53.119 --> 00:28:55.119
So that's what time it's on my calendar.
00:28:55.839 --> 00:28:58.000
Yeah, no, that one did throw me a little bit.
00:28:58.160 --> 00:29:01.119
Um, who has the biggest sports parent emergency kit?
00:29:01.279 --> 00:29:02.400
Band-aids, ice packs.
00:29:03.279 --> 00:29:03.759
Oh, okay.
00:29:03.839 --> 00:29:05.200
I thought I was pretty good at that too.
00:29:05.359 --> 00:29:08.079
Uh, do you have like the nosebleed thingies?
00:29:08.319 --> 00:29:09.920
Do you have ice packs though?
00:29:10.160 --> 00:29:11.759
Do you have the blood wipes?
00:29:12.000 --> 00:29:13.039
What's a blood wipe?
00:29:13.279 --> 00:29:14.559
For cleaning blood.
00:29:14.799 --> 00:29:15.839
What's special about it?
00:29:15.920 --> 00:29:17.599
It's not like an alcohol pad or something.
00:29:17.839 --> 00:29:18.079
I don't know.
00:29:18.160 --> 00:29:18.400
I don't know.
00:29:18.480 --> 00:29:21.839
I'd have to look at it, but they're like special for like cleaning blood.
00:29:22.319 --> 00:29:22.640
Oh yeah.
00:29:23.039 --> 00:29:24.160
You haven't seen my whole kit.
00:29:24.319 --> 00:29:24.799
No, I haven't.
00:29:24.880 --> 00:29:26.079
I haven't had to use it.
00:29:26.240 --> 00:29:29.279
I was proud of myself because I had ice packs, but I mean that's really great.
00:29:29.440 --> 00:29:31.839
I have the standard kit with ice packs.
00:29:32.079 --> 00:29:33.200
I created my own kit.
00:29:33.359 --> 00:29:34.079
Of course you did.
00:29:34.319 --> 00:29:35.359
Okay, fine, you win.
00:29:35.440 --> 00:29:35.759
Okay.
00:29:35.920 --> 00:29:36.720
Um, let's see.
00:29:36.880 --> 00:29:38.720
Who's most likely to get kicked out of a game?
00:29:38.960 --> 00:29:39.920
Absolutely you.
00:29:40.160 --> 00:29:41.200
Absolutely 100%.
00:29:41.519 --> 00:29:42.799
I would never get kicked out of a game.
00:29:42.960 --> 00:29:43.279
100%.
00:29:43.680 --> 00:29:45.759
Do you think I'm more likely to get kicked out of a game?
00:29:46.079 --> 00:29:46.319
No.
00:29:46.720 --> 00:29:46.880
Okay.
00:29:47.440 --> 00:29:49.119
I'm why would I get kicked out?
00:29:49.359 --> 00:29:50.799
Because there's only two people in this game.
00:29:50.880 --> 00:29:51.279
Oh, okay.
00:29:51.359 --> 00:29:52.240
It's me and you.
00:29:52.480 --> 00:29:52.960
You're right.
00:29:53.119 --> 00:29:53.519
You're right.
00:29:53.680 --> 00:29:54.000
You're right.
00:29:54.160 --> 00:29:54.319
Okay.
00:29:54.480 --> 00:29:58.799
Now, if there was someone else here if it was let's say it's me, you, and Kyle.
00:29:58.880 --> 00:29:59.599
Then probably Kyle.
00:29:59.759 --> 00:30:00.480
Kyle, for sure.
00:30:00.720 --> 00:30:01.200
Absolutely.
00:30:01.359 --> 00:30:01.519
Okay.
00:30:01.680 --> 00:30:01.920
Yeah.
00:30:02.079 --> 00:30:03.200
Not even, not even close.
00:30:03.359 --> 00:30:04.400
Me, you and Sam.
00:30:04.960 --> 00:30:06.000
Still thank you.
00:30:06.160 --> 00:30:06.480
What?
00:30:06.880 --> 00:30:08.960
Do you think she's more likely to get kicked out than you?
00:30:09.119 --> 00:30:10.480
I mean, well, she gets fired up.
00:30:10.640 --> 00:30:11.599
Well, I haven't seen that.
00:30:11.839 --> 00:30:16.079
Like if she got fired up, she, you frequently get fired up.
00:30:16.240 --> 00:30:18.319
That doesn't, that is I am passionate.
00:30:18.480 --> 00:30:20.400
I am passionate about the sport, okay?
00:30:20.559 --> 00:30:21.119
I love it.
00:30:21.359 --> 00:30:21.599
Okay.
00:30:21.680 --> 00:30:25.920
I just want to ask you a few more questions because you have the whole blended family going on too.
00:30:26.079 --> 00:30:26.400
Okay.
00:30:26.559 --> 00:30:34.319
Um, how does scheduling work when you've got kids moving between two households and you have maybe you have uniforms at one house and not at another?
00:30:34.480 --> 00:30:35.680
How do you work out all of that?
00:30:35.920 --> 00:30:38.240
We have had to kind of practice with this.
00:30:38.319 --> 00:30:43.759
So we have found that really one parent needs to be like, I am like this.
00:30:44.000 --> 00:30:45.759
And so like I am the wrestling mom.
00:30:45.920 --> 00:30:50.400
Um, Sam was happy to like give that over because I did wrestling, I understand it.
00:30:50.720 --> 00:30:55.440
We probably would give Kyle this responsibility, but he works on Saturdays, so like he can't have it.
00:30:55.519 --> 00:30:55.839
Yeah.
00:30:56.000 --> 00:31:05.519
Um, because we had one weekend where it was like one weekend he was with Sam and had a tournament, and then the next weekend he was with us, and he ended up misplacing his singlet.
00:31:05.680 --> 00:31:07.920
It didn't get washed in time, like it was just a mess.
00:31:08.000 --> 00:31:08.160
Yeah.
00:31:08.319 --> 00:31:11.119
And so we were like, you know what, we can't have that happen.
00:31:11.200 --> 00:31:15.359
As much as we like to share responsibility, it has to be one or the other.
00:31:15.519 --> 00:31:15.759
Yeah.
00:31:15.920 --> 00:31:18.240
Because otherwise, stuff's gonna get misplaced.
00:31:18.799 --> 00:31:21.519
So, um, so I'm I'm that person.
00:31:21.599 --> 00:31:29.519
So I make sure because I have a very strict routine, like as soon as we get home from every tournament, they are to like strip down, obviously, and shower.
00:31:29.599 --> 00:31:36.319
Yeah, all of the stuff goes into the washer machine, and then it immediately goes back into their wrestling bag, and the wrestling bag stays together.
00:31:36.640 --> 00:31:45.440
And then that also means that certain things outside of and even some of our snacks, but like outside of like anything perishable, like everything stays in my bags here.
00:31:45.599 --> 00:31:45.759
Yep.
00:31:45.920 --> 00:31:51.119
So all I have to do is grab the bag and then anything cold, you know, you have to put in.
00:31:51.200 --> 00:31:53.759
Um, and the two like bleacher chairs.
00:31:53.920 --> 00:31:54.079
Yes.
00:31:54.240 --> 00:31:55.039
And throw them in the back.
00:31:55.119 --> 00:31:55.279
Yes.
00:31:55.359 --> 00:31:55.759
Like everything.
00:31:56.240 --> 00:31:58.160
By the way, that was my that was you.
00:31:58.319 --> 00:31:58.559
Yes.
00:31:58.720 --> 00:31:58.960
Yes.
00:31:59.119 --> 00:31:59.839
Very, very big.
00:32:00.079 --> 00:32:00.799
Bougie chairs.
00:32:00.880 --> 00:32:02.079
Oh my gosh, they are so bougie.
00:32:02.240 --> 00:32:04.960
We still need to get um the battery packs though.
00:32:05.200 --> 00:32:07.759
I wonder if you can use your like a battery.
00:32:07.839 --> 00:32:09.759
Do you have one at like an external battery charger?
00:32:09.839 --> 00:32:10.880
I keep wondering if that would work.
00:32:11.359 --> 00:32:14.480
So I did bring one one time to check, and yes, you can.
00:32:14.799 --> 00:32:15.119
Okay.
00:32:15.279 --> 00:32:23.039
So um, just so everybody knows, Cena is really fancy bleacher chairs that have a massage and heat.
00:32:23.359 --> 00:32:23.839
Armrest.
00:32:24.079 --> 00:32:24.480
Armrest.
00:32:24.720 --> 00:32:25.519
Very comfy.
00:32:25.759 --> 00:32:27.200
And um, I had to buy some too.
00:32:27.279 --> 00:32:31.680
So now we are definitely, and to be fair, like that I didn't discover them on my own.
00:32:31.759 --> 00:32:37.519
We discovered them from Annie's family, who's a softball family, and they I've learned a lot from them too.
00:32:37.599 --> 00:32:41.839
Um, because they do the like weekend long baseball soft sorry, softball chills.
00:32:42.000 --> 00:32:48.559
Well, and those ones are outside, so sometimes I would think it does like there's gotta be times of the year where it's cold or where you can.
00:32:48.720 --> 00:32:51.839
Well, we now have a portable propane gas heat we can take to those.
00:32:52.079 --> 00:32:52.559
That's really cool.
00:32:52.799 --> 00:32:58.000
And we now have a fan that uh it's like a what do you call that brand of like drills and stuff?
00:32:58.160 --> 00:33:01.519
Not Ryobi, but there's another DeWalt, I think is what it is.
00:33:01.599 --> 00:33:05.920
So DeWalt has this big fan that you can put the DeWalt batteries on.
00:33:06.079 --> 00:33:08.079
So you have the same batteries for all your tools.
00:33:08.240 --> 00:33:10.720
That's so now we have one of those, we have a canopy.
00:33:10.880 --> 00:33:14.640
Because yeah, the outdoor tournaments are an entirely different experience.
00:33:14.880 --> 00:33:17.200
Yeah, but unlike the gym based much more.
00:33:17.359 --> 00:33:18.319
Yeah, there's no way.
00:33:18.559 --> 00:33:19.039
There's a lot.
00:33:19.119 --> 00:33:27.599
And then after we totaled our car and we had a rental and we had to take this Toyota Corolla to a tournament, dude, we were packed in there like sardines.
00:33:27.839 --> 00:33:30.720
Like literally, they was taking a nap in the back.
00:33:30.880 --> 00:33:44.480
And between the two boys, we had a cooler and we had a I think we had a bog bag, and then we had the canopy, like balanced, or it was the wagon balanced across the top, but it like collapsed, you know, into like this rectangular shape.
00:33:44.720 --> 00:33:54.160
So it's balanced on top, and Darwin took a turn to get on the highway, and all of it started spilling over on a Davian, and he's just trapped underneath, and he's asleep, and he starts waking up.
00:33:54.319 --> 00:33:56.400
He's like, It's like, how do you hell, man?
00:33:56.640 --> 00:33:59.279
And you couldn't even see him because there was so much stuff.
00:33:59.440 --> 00:34:01.599
So, like, yeah, it is it's a lot.
00:34:01.920 --> 00:34:03.680
But now you have your nice new fancy car.
00:34:03.759 --> 00:34:04.400
So hard.
00:34:04.799 --> 00:34:05.839
Yes, it won't happen again.
00:34:06.880 --> 00:34:12.159
Yeah, that that weekend alone, we were like, we gotta put like we gotta get a car ASAP.
00:34:12.400 --> 00:34:17.599
So the the tournaments is really kind of what turned me off of my sequoia.
00:34:17.760 --> 00:34:18.079
Why?
00:34:18.239 --> 00:34:19.840
Because it didn't have as much space in the back.
00:34:20.159 --> 00:34:21.840
Oh, you're right, which is so weird to me.
00:34:22.159 --> 00:34:25.199
It's like the biggest car, but it has the least amount of space.
00:34:25.360 --> 00:34:27.760
Well, it's because it gives you the most passenger space.
00:34:27.840 --> 00:34:28.000
Okay.
00:34:28.320 --> 00:34:32.320
So like everything is very roomy and comfy, but like the actual storage.
00:34:32.719 --> 00:34:36.559
Until you have to go somewhere with people, and then it's no longer roomy and comfy for anyone.
00:34:36.960 --> 00:34:42.480
Because there's like, yeah, so um the Grand Highlander is much with the storage space.
00:34:42.800 --> 00:34:48.480
Have any of these tournaments help bring your family closer together or any of these sports in general?
00:34:48.639 --> 00:34:50.639
Have you noticed that it's brought any of you closer together?
00:34:50.880 --> 00:34:51.679
I think so.
00:34:51.920 --> 00:34:57.920
I mean, I think it's it's something so it's it's kind of nice for Kyle and I because it's something that we have in common from high school.
00:34:58.079 --> 00:34:58.239
Yeah.
00:34:58.400 --> 00:35:10.079
So we do like to trade stories, you know, here and there, or even just like, wow, like so much has changed because it has changed drastically from, you know, when we were in high school 25 years ago.
00:35:10.239 --> 00:35:10.639
Yeah.
00:35:10.880 --> 00:35:14.400
Um, so like we love to exchange stuff about that.
00:35:14.559 --> 00:35:21.280
Um, but then it's also, you know, like teaching Sam and teaching Brian and like getting them involved and excited.
00:35:21.440 --> 00:35:21.840
Yeah.
00:35:22.000 --> 00:35:28.480
Um, which I think I think Sam was skeptical at first, but then she went once she went to the first one, she was like, This is it.
00:35:28.559 --> 00:35:28.719
Yeah.
00:35:28.960 --> 00:35:33.199
Like we are wrestling moms for she gets right down on the mat too.
00:35:33.280 --> 00:35:33.440
Yeah.
00:35:33.599 --> 00:35:33.760
Yeah.
00:35:33.840 --> 00:35:35.920
So she that's the one thing that she is in charge of.
00:35:36.079 --> 00:35:37.360
She is in charge of filming.
00:35:37.519 --> 00:35:37.840
Okay.
00:35:38.000 --> 00:35:42.000
Um, mostly because I am incapable of filming and yellow.
00:35:42.159 --> 00:35:43.920
Because like I'll be like this the whole time.
00:35:44.079 --> 00:35:45.519
So she's in charge of filming.
00:35:45.679 --> 00:35:47.039
Yes, that's a good job for her.
00:35:47.199 --> 00:35:48.559
It's a very important job, too.
00:35:48.719 --> 00:35:50.880
It is a very important job, 100%.
00:35:51.199 --> 00:35:51.519
Yeah.
00:35:51.679 --> 00:35:52.079
Yes.
00:35:52.239 --> 00:35:54.159
I can't film either anymore.
00:35:54.239 --> 00:35:54.880
I've learned.
00:35:55.039 --> 00:36:00.880
Sometimes I do, and then I notice that like the camera moves because I'm watching with my eyes over the camera.
00:36:01.039 --> 00:36:03.920
Um, so I tend to have other people filming at the same time as well.
00:36:04.079 --> 00:36:06.239
So that it really is, you can't not have a filmer.
00:36:06.480 --> 00:36:08.960
I will say this um this is coming with us.
00:36:09.360 --> 00:36:09.679
Oh, yeah.
00:36:09.920 --> 00:36:11.119
Now that you have your little tripod.
00:36:12.000 --> 00:36:13.519
Which I got that.
00:36:13.679 --> 00:36:15.840
Um, this is the same one that Kimmelly had.
00:36:16.000 --> 00:36:16.559
Oh, okay.
00:36:16.719 --> 00:36:20.639
So I I saw her use it first and I was like, that is it really is.
00:36:20.800 --> 00:36:25.440
And she's just like, oh yeah, like you could just set it up, hit record, and it even has a remote.
00:36:25.519 --> 00:36:27.840
So like I could be on the mat and I couldn't.
00:36:28.000 --> 00:36:28.880
Oh, that's awesome.
00:36:28.960 --> 00:36:29.119
Yeah.
00:36:29.280 --> 00:36:30.480
So don't forget to turn it on.
00:36:30.559 --> 00:36:30.960
I cannot wait.
00:36:31.039 --> 00:36:31.440
I can't wait.
00:36:31.679 --> 00:36:32.239
That's awesome.
00:36:32.400 --> 00:36:34.559
Then we then Sam and I can both be down there.
00:36:34.719 --> 00:36:35.119
Yeah.
00:36:35.360 --> 00:36:37.360
Yelling and waving our arms.
00:36:37.760 --> 00:36:42.400
Oh, actually, I was like, I just waved my arm and I want to make sure I didn't accidentally turn off the camera.
00:36:42.800 --> 00:36:43.119
All right.
00:36:43.199 --> 00:36:45.360
Just a few final questions then.
00:36:45.519 --> 00:36:51.280
When it comes to tournaments and matches and practices and all that, what's one thing you absolutely cannot forget?
00:36:51.440 --> 00:36:51.760
Hmm.
00:36:51.920 --> 00:36:53.920
I'm trying to think of like what is like the absolute.
00:36:54.239 --> 00:36:58.239
It's gotta be snacks because you don't have something or water.
00:36:58.320 --> 00:36:59.840
I mean that's a big one too.
00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:01.760
You know, because like you're you're you're gonna die.
00:37:01.920 --> 00:37:03.440
Like it, I mean, like literally.
00:37:03.679 --> 00:37:09.280
And me as the person on the side of the mat yelling, like I get so thirsty and so hungry.
00:37:09.360 --> 00:37:12.000
Yeah, um, I would have to say snacks about it.
00:37:12.079 --> 00:37:13.039
I'm going with the chairs.
00:37:13.280 --> 00:37:15.039
I cannot sit on those bleachers.
00:37:15.199 --> 00:37:20.480
It is the chairs, and for baseball tournaments, it's my like portable rocking chair, you know, outdoor chair.
00:37:20.880 --> 00:37:21.280
That is nice.
00:37:21.360 --> 00:37:22.079
I yeah.
00:37:22.320 --> 00:37:30.320
If I if I had to, if I if there was one thing, you do spend way more time like field side, courtside, like whatever you want to call it, than I do.
00:37:30.559 --> 00:37:30.880
Yeah.
00:37:31.039 --> 00:37:34.880
I mean, like, yes, is wrestling five days a week for me and about to be six?
00:37:35.119 --> 00:37:35.519
Sure.
00:37:35.760 --> 00:37:45.119
That's a lot, but I'm not necessarily, you know, courtside or field side or like in bleachers, because four of those days I'm not even in bleachers, no, I'm just in the chair.
00:37:45.760 --> 00:37:52.400
So um, yeah, you definitely that would be my my absolute as and and and snacks will come a very close second.
00:37:52.800 --> 00:37:58.239
I just cannot, there's only so many like session stand hot dogs and hamburgers and bags of chips you can do.
00:37:58.320 --> 00:37:59.679
Like I'm so sick of that food.
00:37:59.840 --> 00:38:00.000
Yeah.
00:38:00.239 --> 00:38:01.119
Just thinking about it makes you.
00:38:01.360 --> 00:38:08.239
Well, also, I mean, I can't count the number of times where the fact that I bring so many snacks has been helpful to other parents.
00:38:08.320 --> 00:38:08.559
Yes.
00:38:08.719 --> 00:38:15.039
Who uh maybe packed healthier snacks or maybe just didn't pack enough snacks because they're not thinking like I would be here for 12 hours.
00:38:15.199 --> 00:38:15.679
Right.
00:38:15.840 --> 00:38:18.079
Um, and then it's like, well, I have all this extra stuff.
00:38:18.159 --> 00:38:18.719
Like, have at it.
00:38:19.440 --> 00:38:19.599
Yeah.
00:38:19.760 --> 00:38:24.239
Um, many, many younger children who are not competing and like having a hard time sitting.
00:38:24.719 --> 00:38:26.000
The brothers and sisters, yeah, yeah.
00:38:26.239 --> 00:38:27.519
And you have better snacks than they do.
00:38:27.679 --> 00:38:30.239
Yeah, and they're like, Miss Cat, can I look in your bag?
00:38:30.400 --> 00:38:30.960
Yeah, absolutely.
00:38:31.280 --> 00:38:31.519
Yes.
00:38:31.760 --> 00:38:32.480
Have at it.
00:38:32.639 --> 00:38:34.320
What's your best tournament snack?
00:38:34.559 --> 00:38:37.599
Um, I do I love to bring pineapple.
00:38:37.679 --> 00:38:39.679
Everybody can normally count on me for having pineapple.
00:38:39.760 --> 00:38:39.920
Yeah.
00:38:40.000 --> 00:38:41.280
Um, I cut it at my sails.
00:38:41.440 --> 00:38:41.760
Yeah.
00:38:42.000 --> 00:38:45.280
Um, I have I don't know, like because I do a rotation.
00:38:45.440 --> 00:38:45.679
Yeah.
00:38:45.840 --> 00:38:51.679
Because I do normally will have at least one fresh fruit, and then I do um, I do the uncrustables because it's just easier.
00:38:52.079 --> 00:38:52.320
So easy.
00:38:52.559 --> 00:38:55.760
Like throw them in, and I can have a variety of flavors.
00:38:56.000 --> 00:38:59.440
I will say the protein, bright eye eye or something like that.
00:38:59.519 --> 00:38:59.760
Uh-huh.
00:39:00.000 --> 00:39:00.239
So good.
00:39:00.480 --> 00:39:00.800
What is it?
00:39:01.199 --> 00:39:05.760
It's it's I want to say it's like a mixed berry and peanut butter, but it has added protein to it.
00:39:05.920 --> 00:39:07.280
A mixed berry and peanut butter what?
00:39:07.360 --> 00:39:07.840
Like spray?
00:39:08.159 --> 00:39:08.800
Uncrustable.
00:39:08.960 --> 00:39:10.079
Oh, I've not seen that.
00:39:10.320 --> 00:39:10.480
Yeah.
00:39:10.559 --> 00:39:12.559
So it's like a protein uncrustable.
00:39:12.800 --> 00:39:13.039
Okay.
00:39:13.199 --> 00:39:14.719
Um, really, really tasty.
00:39:14.960 --> 00:39:18.559
Uh do granola bars, like all the like basic stuff.
00:39:18.639 --> 00:39:21.599
I'm like trying to think if I have anything that's like really, really good.
00:39:21.840 --> 00:39:23.760
Because I try not to like let them bring crap.
00:39:24.000 --> 00:39:24.239
Yeah.
00:39:24.320 --> 00:39:33.840
Um Draden's favorite is a rice cake, and then we buy the squeezable peanut butter and squeezable honey, and then he'll put that on top, like right before he gets on the mat.
00:39:34.000 --> 00:39:36.239
It gives him a big energy rush.
00:39:36.480 --> 00:39:39.199
So we do um same concept.
00:39:39.280 --> 00:39:39.440
Yeah.
00:39:39.599 --> 00:39:41.199
Um, but we do rice crispy treats.
00:39:41.360 --> 00:39:42.719
Oh, yeah, that's another good one to have.
00:39:42.960 --> 00:39:44.400
So that's what we do for fast energy.
00:39:44.960 --> 00:39:45.039
Yep.
00:39:45.199 --> 00:39:46.239
Um, right before a match.
00:39:46.639 --> 00:39:48.960
And then um, this year I'm gonna be adding in.
00:39:49.119 --> 00:39:51.760
So they have um, you know, like the apples.
00:39:52.400 --> 00:39:52.800
Yeah.
00:39:53.039 --> 00:39:58.400
They have um they have pineapple, yes, and they have mango and like a couple different flavors.
00:39:58.480 --> 00:40:00.400
I'm like, I'm gonna think I'm gonna start adding some of them.
00:40:00.800 --> 00:40:02.000
And then the honey sticks.
00:40:02.239 --> 00:40:02.559
Yep.
00:40:02.719 --> 00:40:09.599
Um we've been buying the individual packs of honey, like it's maybe a tablespoon of honey, but I've seen those sticks too.
00:40:09.679 --> 00:40:10.639
I think that would be convenient.
00:40:10.800 --> 00:40:11.119
Yeah.
00:40:11.280 --> 00:40:11.679
Yeah.
00:40:11.840 --> 00:40:18.159
And the applesauce and rice crispy treats would be good ones to send with them at school so they can eat it before practice or something too.
00:40:18.400 --> 00:40:18.639
Yes.
00:40:18.800 --> 00:40:22.559
That is one thing that Ella is um gonna have to be a little bit different.
00:40:22.719 --> 00:40:28.960
So, you know, here at home it's a little bit different now that she's homeschooled, but when she's actually at school, she's gonna have to eat.
00:40:29.119 --> 00:40:29.440
Yeah.
00:40:29.679 --> 00:40:37.840
Like there's no way that she's gonna be able to not eat, which is what she was doing before, and then go wrestle for three hours, you know, after school.
00:40:38.000 --> 00:40:39.360
Um, what's that saying?
00:40:39.519 --> 00:40:42.800
If you if you don't eat like an athlete, you won't perform like an athlete.
00:40:43.119 --> 00:40:43.360
Yeah.
00:40:43.519 --> 00:40:43.760
Yeah.
00:40:43.920 --> 00:40:45.199
Her body won't have what it needs.
00:40:45.360 --> 00:40:46.000
Absolutely not.
00:40:46.239 --> 00:40:46.559
No.
00:40:46.800 --> 00:40:48.480
Um, okay, let's see.
00:40:48.639 --> 00:40:49.920
Um, what about quitting?
00:40:50.159 --> 00:40:51.840
Because I know this has come up a couple times.
00:40:52.079 --> 00:40:56.639
So how do you handle when your child brings up the idea that they want to quit?
00:40:56.880 --> 00:40:57.920
Is that an option?
00:40:58.239 --> 00:41:05.840
So we actually just recently had um Sam and I were having this conversation because Archer has approached us about quitting.
00:41:05.920 --> 00:41:08.880
And so for me, if I'm not with Kyle, I'm not with Sam.
00:41:09.119 --> 00:41:12.159
If it's just me, um, my answer is no.
00:41:12.320 --> 00:41:14.079
Yeah, it's not acceptable.
00:41:14.320 --> 00:41:24.000
And um, now if if you came to me and you were like, I have a legitimate reason that I don't want to do this anymore, or even I want to do this instead.
00:41:24.239 --> 00:41:26.960
Maybe, maybe, depending on like, are we halfway through the season?
00:41:27.519 --> 00:41:30.400
Like, once once you're in the season, to me, I'm like, mm-mm, I agree.
00:41:30.559 --> 00:41:31.519
No, you have to finish off this.
00:41:32.480 --> 00:41:32.880
Yeah.
00:41:33.119 --> 00:41:37.280
Um, like, so Archer recently has come and said that he wants to quit.
00:41:37.519 --> 00:41:40.239
And when I asked him why, he said, because it was hard.
00:41:40.480 --> 00:41:40.960
Wrong answer.
00:41:41.119 --> 00:41:41.360
Yeah.
00:41:41.599 --> 00:41:42.480
Such the wrong answer.
00:41:42.559 --> 00:41:44.480
I mean, for me, for me, that was the wrong answer.
00:41:44.639 --> 00:41:53.039
And it was probably one of I could probably count on on one hand how many times I've done this, but it was the first time in a really long time that I was like, you know what?
00:41:53.360 --> 00:41:54.800
You have to talk to your mom and dad.
00:41:55.440 --> 00:42:00.239
I'm not going to be the one to put my foot down because my answer might be different than theirs.
00:42:00.400 --> 00:42:02.559
And I was like, but I will tell you what I'd say.
00:42:03.360 --> 00:42:06.000
And I was like, because if you told me that, I would, I would tell you no.
00:42:06.079 --> 00:42:06.159
Yeah.
00:42:06.320 --> 00:42:06.719
Absolutely not.
00:42:06.800 --> 00:42:08.719
I'm like, that's not a that's not a reason to quit.
00:42:08.960 --> 00:42:09.599
Things are hard.
00:42:09.840 --> 00:42:11.840
And things are gonna be hard for the rest of your life.
00:42:11.920 --> 00:42:12.000
Yeah.
00:42:12.159 --> 00:42:15.280
Like it doesn't mean that every sport you transition to is gonna be hard.
00:42:15.440 --> 00:42:15.760
Yeah.
00:42:16.000 --> 00:42:26.639
At some point, it's gonna get hard because you are gonna have a learning curve and you are going to be against somebody better than you, or you're gonna be against somebody bigger or older or more mature or whatever.
00:42:27.440 --> 00:42:29.360
And it's just not a reason to quit.
00:42:29.440 --> 00:42:29.760
Yeah.
00:42:29.920 --> 00:42:35.039
But I wasn't a hundred percent sure what Kyle and Sam's answer to that would be.
00:42:35.119 --> 00:42:35.360
Yeah.
00:42:35.679 --> 00:42:37.039
Um, because he is young.
00:42:37.119 --> 00:42:37.360
Yeah.
00:42:37.519 --> 00:42:43.199
You know, this is an age where, like I had said earlier, today it's third grade.
00:42:43.280 --> 00:42:44.480
Yeah, it doesn't matter.
00:42:44.559 --> 00:42:44.639
Yeah.
00:42:44.800 --> 00:42:49.920
You know, what he does today doesn't necessarily impact if he decides to get back into wrestling in high school.
00:42:50.000 --> 00:42:53.360
Um, walking away from a sport altogether will impact.
00:42:53.840 --> 00:42:56.239
I think it does, but I just didn't know.
00:42:56.320 --> 00:42:59.280
Like, and he didn't have a backup, he didn't say this instead.
00:42:59.599 --> 00:43:01.119
No, because he didn't want to do anything instead.
00:43:01.280 --> 00:43:04.559
He wants to like ride his scooter, and I'm like, that's like I'm sorry.
00:43:04.639 --> 00:43:06.079
Yeah, you can do that on your own time.
00:43:06.239 --> 00:43:07.360
Like, you're killing me.
00:43:07.599 --> 00:43:17.760
But um, so yeah, it was like the first time that I actually was like, I'm taking a step back, and like this is a this is a a biological parent decision, not a stepmom decision.
00:43:17.920 --> 00:43:31.519
And I again, like, I can only think of I I don't even think I can think of circumstances where I wasn't very confident in Sam and Kyle's answer or felt like it was important enough that I didn't care what their answer would be or something like that.
00:43:31.679 --> 00:43:33.760
It was I they have to decide.
00:43:33.840 --> 00:43:34.159
Yeah.
00:43:34.400 --> 00:43:37.599
And um, I was like, but we're to the wise.
00:43:37.679 --> 00:43:42.320
I was like, if you do decide to have this conversation with them, I was like, that wouldn't be the answer.
00:43:42.480 --> 00:43:42.800
That wouldn't be.
00:43:42.960 --> 00:43:43.920
I want a different reason.
00:43:44.159 --> 00:43:47.519
The reason I give them because I feel like um that's not a good enough reason.
00:43:47.599 --> 00:43:52.400
And so I told him to think about a few things and I was like, and if you want to approach it with them, that's up to you.
00:43:52.480 --> 00:43:53.519
I was like, I'm not gonna do it.
00:43:54.079 --> 00:43:56.079
Like, I'm not asking for you because I don't think you should.
00:43:56.400 --> 00:43:57.840
I was like, you have to have that conversation.
00:43:57.920 --> 00:43:59.039
And he was like, okay.
00:43:59.199 --> 00:44:02.000
And to this day, I don't think he's approached it with either of them.
00:44:02.159 --> 00:44:02.559
Yeah.
00:44:02.719 --> 00:44:06.960
Um, he did tell me the other last last week or the week before, he was like, I don't think I want to quit.
00:44:07.199 --> 00:44:08.000
I was like, oh, okay.
00:44:08.159 --> 00:44:09.360
Yeah, I knew.
00:44:09.519 --> 00:44:10.079
I knew it.
00:44:10.320 --> 00:44:14.719
Well, I started out wanting to talk about the sports parent life.
00:44:14.880 --> 00:44:21.199
And I think it's good that we came back around to the whole balance of knowing when to push your kids and when to just let them be kids.
00:44:21.360 --> 00:44:26.480
Um, because I think that's, you know, a bigger issue that a lot of people are still trying to figure out.
00:44:26.719 --> 00:44:30.000
So if you're a sports parent, we would love to hear your stories.
00:44:30.159 --> 00:44:37.360
Tell us about your schedules, your tournament weekends, things that have gone completely sideways, or even the little things that make all of it worth it.
00:44:37.519 --> 00:44:42.400
You can find us on Facebook, Instagram, or wherever you listen and follow along with Become Turnham.
00:44:42.719 --> 00:44:54.159
And if you know another sports parent who is somewhere right now trying to figure out what they're supposed to be doing tomorrow morning or next weekend, send them this episode and um let them be part of this journey.
00:44:54.320 --> 00:44:55.440
Thanks for hanging out with us.
00:44:55.519 --> 00:44:56.480
We'll see you next time.