WEBVTT
00:00:00.341 --> 00:00:04.328
This is Bite of Balance, your weekly snack-sized therapy sesh.
00:00:04.328 --> 00:00:09.929
I'm your host, teresa, and this week, on the podcast, we took a look at empathy misses.
00:00:09.929 --> 00:00:14.586
Have you ever poured your heart out to someone, only to feel like they just didn't get it?
00:00:14.586 --> 00:00:18.844
Well, you're not alone, and that happens actually quite often.
00:00:18.844 --> 00:00:28.786
So today we're unpacking the concept of empathy misses, how they feel on the receiving end, and maybe even bringing to your awareness some that you might be guilty of.
00:00:28.786 --> 00:00:33.484
So grab your favorite beverage, get cozy and let's freaking get into it.
00:00:33.484 --> 00:00:49.529
Okay, so the first thing that we really need to do when we're dissecting empathy misses and figuring out how to receive them, how to handle them, is understanding the difference between empathy and sympathy.
00:00:49.529 --> 00:00:52.823
First things first, let's clear up the confusion.
00:00:53.545 --> 00:00:56.250
Empathy isn't just about feeling sorry for someone.
00:00:56.250 --> 00:01:00.369
Honestly, people that are searching for empathy, they don't want you to feel sorry for them.
00:01:00.369 --> 00:01:04.969
It's actually about truly understanding and connecting with their emotions.
00:01:04.969 --> 00:01:14.406
Empathy is about being able to understand what someone else is going through, feel what they're feeling and understand why they feel that way.
00:01:14.406 --> 00:01:19.364
It's all about the connection of a feeling, not the connection of the exact experience.
00:01:19.364 --> 00:01:29.340
Now, with all that said, it's not always easy to do that, especially since when we connect with other people, a lot of times we try and draw from our experiences.
00:01:29.340 --> 00:01:33.971
So when you don't have an exact experience, empathy takes some work and practice.
00:01:33.971 --> 00:01:35.484
So here's an example.
00:01:35.484 --> 00:01:39.150
Imagine a friend confides in you about feeling overwhelmed at work.
00:01:39.150 --> 00:01:51.070
Instead of immediately offering solutions such as maybe you should talk to your boss or you should try time management techniques, instead you respond with empathy by saying I hear you.
00:01:51.070 --> 00:01:53.769
It sounds like work has been really challenging lately.
00:01:53.769 --> 00:01:54.884
How are you holding up?
00:01:54.884 --> 00:01:59.691
Give them the opportunity to talk more with you about their situation.
00:02:00.780 --> 00:02:03.500
Empathy misses can be extremely damaging in relationships.
00:02:03.500 --> 00:02:07.971
They invalidate someone's lived experience and block authentic connection.
00:02:07.971 --> 00:02:14.828
I mean, imagine you're pouring your heart out to someone, only to be met with minimization or attempts to fix your problems.
00:02:14.828 --> 00:02:18.180
It's like swinging and missing in a game of emotional baseball.
00:02:18.180 --> 00:02:26.782
When you start to be able to recognize the empathy misses you experience with people, you'll then be able to recognize where you lack in the empathy department.
00:02:26.782 --> 00:02:37.561
And let's be real, we all miss in the empathy department at some point in our life, whether we minimize someone else's struggle by offering solutions instead of listening.
00:02:37.561 --> 00:02:39.967
I am super guilty of this one.
00:02:39.967 --> 00:02:46.846
Or maybe we compare our struggles to theirs and let them know that what they're going through just really isn't that bad.
00:02:46.846 --> 00:02:49.890
Or my favorite term, it could be worse.
00:02:49.890 --> 00:02:53.040
Literally, that term drives me insane.
00:02:53.162 --> 00:02:56.088
Cultivating empathy is a journey, not a destination.
00:02:56.088 --> 00:02:59.104
It starts with self-awareness and acceptance.
00:02:59.104 --> 00:03:02.895
Trust me, I had to do a lot of that in the empathy department.
00:03:02.895 --> 00:03:12.024
I really needed to take a step back and realize, wow, I am not good here in this department and I don't like it when people don't give me empathy, so I really need to work on this.
00:03:12.024 --> 00:03:17.325
You need to recognize when you're falling into the trap of an empathy miss and course correct.
00:03:17.325 --> 00:03:26.472
You can do this by practicing active listening, validate others' emotions and resist the urge to one-up or fix their problems.
00:03:26.472 --> 00:03:30.531
The fixing of the problems, again, something I totally struggle with.
00:03:30.531 --> 00:03:36.191
I am a fixer and always remember that empathy is a two-way street.
00:03:36.191 --> 00:03:39.590
Be open to receiving empathy as much as you give it.
00:03:40.280 --> 00:03:44.991
So, with all that said, this brings me to our take-home tool for the day.
00:03:44.991 --> 00:03:47.848
We are going to call this the empathy meter.
00:03:47.848 --> 00:03:52.131
Take a moment to assess your level of empathy in conversations.
00:03:52.131 --> 00:03:58.610
Are you truly listening and understanding, or are you jumping to solutions or comparisons?
00:03:58.610 --> 00:04:05.334
Aim to keep your empathy meter in check and strive for genuine connection in every interaction.
00:04:05.334 --> 00:04:24.031
If you do that and keep those things in mind, you not only are going to be able to recognize when you are lacking and missing in the empathy department, but you're also going to be able to recognize when someone else is missing in the empathy department with you, and then together you can correct and get on a better journey of empathy.
00:04:24.031 --> 00:04:26.699
So that is all I have for you today.
00:04:26.699 --> 00:04:32.564
If you missed this week's full episode on empathy misses, go check it out on the you're always fine podcast.
00:04:32.564 --> 00:04:34.872
Until next time I am out.
00:00:00.341 --> 00:00:04.328
This is Bite of Balance, your weekly snack-sized therapy sesh.
00:00:04.328 --> 00:00:09.929
I'm your host, teresa, and this week, on the podcast, we took a look at empathy misses.
00:00:09.929 --> 00:00:14.586
Have you ever poured your heart out to someone, only to feel like they just didn't get it?
00:00:14.586 --> 00:00:18.844
Well, you're not alone, and that happens actually quite often.
00:00:18.844 --> 00:00:28.786
So today we're unpacking the concept of empathy misses, how they feel on the receiving end, and maybe even bringing to your awareness some that you might be guilty of.
00:00:28.786 --> 00:00:33.484
So grab your favorite beverage, get cozy and let's freaking get into it.
00:00:33.484 --> 00:00:49.529
Okay, so the first thing that we really need to do when we're dissecting empathy misses and figuring out how to receive them, how to handle them, is understanding the difference between empathy and sympathy.
00:00:49.529 --> 00:00:52.823
First things first, let's clear up the confusion.
00:00:53.545 --> 00:00:56.250
Empathy isn't just about feeling sorry for someone.
00:00:56.250 --> 00:01:00.369
Honestly, people that are searching for empathy, they don't want you to feel sorry for them.
00:01:00.369 --> 00:01:04.969
It's actually about truly understanding and connecting with their emotions.
00:01:04.969 --> 00:01:14.406
Empathy is about being able to understand what someone else is going through, feel what they're feeling and understand why they feel that way.
00:01:14.406 --> 00:01:19.364
It's all about the connection of a feeling, not the connection of the exact experience.
00:01:19.364 --> 00:01:29.340
Now, with all that said, it's not always easy to do that, especially since when we connect with other people, a lot of times we try and draw from our experiences.
00:01:29.340 --> 00:01:33.971
So when you don't have an exact experience, empathy takes some work and practice.
00:01:33.971 --> 00:01:35.484
So here's an example.
00:01:35.484 --> 00:01:39.150
Imagine a friend confides in you about feeling overwhelmed at work.
00:01:39.150 --> 00:01:51.070
Instead of immediately offering solutions such as maybe you should talk to your boss or you should try time management techniques, instead you respond with empathy by saying I hear you.
00:01:51.070 --> 00:01:53.769
It sounds like work has been really challenging lately.
00:01:53.769 --> 00:01:54.884
How are you holding up?
00:01:54.884 --> 00:01:59.691
Give them the opportunity to talk more with you about their situation.
00:02:00.780 --> 00:02:03.500
Empathy misses can be extremely damaging in relationships.
00:02:03.500 --> 00:02:07.971
They invalidate someone's lived experience and block authentic connection.
00:02:07.971 --> 00:02:14.828
I mean, imagine you're pouring your heart out to someone, only to be met with minimization or attempts to fix your problems.
00:02:14.828 --> 00:02:18.180
It's like swinging and missing in a game of emotional baseball.
00:02:18.180 --> 00:02:26.782
When you start to be able to recognize the empathy misses you experience with people, you'll then be able to recognize where you lack in the empathy department.
00:02:26.782 --> 00:02:37.561
And let's be real, we all miss in the empathy department at some point in our life, whether we minimize someone else's struggle by offering solutions instead of listening.
00:02:37.561 --> 00:02:39.967
I am super guilty of this one.
00:02:39.967 --> 00:02:46.846
Or maybe we compare our struggles to theirs and let them know that what they're going through just really isn't that bad.
00:02:46.846 --> 00:02:49.890
Or my favorite term, it could be worse.
00:02:49.890 --> 00:02:53.040
Literally, that term drives me insane.
00:02:53.162 --> 00:02:56.088
Cultivating empathy is a journey, not a destination.
00:02:56.088 --> 00:02:59.104
It starts with self-awareness and acceptance.
00:02:59.104 --> 00:03:02.895
Trust me, I had to do a lot of that in the empathy department.
00:03:02.895 --> 00:03:12.024
I really needed to take a step back and realize, wow, I am not good here in this department and I don't like it when people don't give me empathy, so I really need to work on this.
00:03:12.024 --> 00:03:17.325
You need to recognize when you're falling into the trap of an empathy miss and course correct.
00:03:17.325 --> 00:03:26.472
You can do this by practicing active listening, validate others' emotions and resist the urge to one-up or fix their problems.
00:03:26.472 --> 00:03:30.531
The fixing of the problems, again, something I totally struggle with.
00:03:30.531 --> 00:03:36.191
I am a fixer and always remember that empathy is a two-way street.
00:03:36.191 --> 00:03:39.590
Be open to receiving empathy as much as you give it.
00:03:40.280 --> 00:03:44.991
So, with all that said, this brings me to our take-home tool for the day.
00:03:44.991 --> 00:03:47.848
We are going to call this the empathy meter.
00:03:47.848 --> 00:03:52.131
Take a moment to assess your level of empathy in conversations.
00:03:52.131 --> 00:03:58.610
Are you truly listening and understanding, or are you jumping to solutions or comparisons?
00:03:58.610 --> 00:04:05.334
Aim to keep your empathy meter in check and strive for genuine connection in every interaction.
00:04:05.334 --> 00:04:24.031
If you do that and keep those things in mind, you not only are going to be able to recognize when you are lacking and missing in the empathy department, but you're also going to be able to recognize when someone else is missing in the empathy department with you, and then together you can correct and get on a better journey of empathy.
00:04:24.031 --> 00:04:26.699
So that is all I have for you today.
00:04:26.699 --> 00:04:32.564
If you missed this week's full episode on empathy misses, go check it out on the you're always fine podcast.
00:04:32.564 --> 00:04:34.872
Until next time I am out.
