Dancing with Your Inner Critic | Ep18

That voice that shouts “you're crazy” in the middle of a rough draft, or calls you names the second you catch a mistake — it's not going anywhere. Not through willpower, not through positive thinking, not through gritted-teeth persistence.

This episode is a follow-up to Episode 17. I draw a sharp line between everyday self-doubt and the much louder, much crueler voice of the inner critic — and make the case that the critic isn't really the problem. It's a symptom of self-abandonment, the quiet habit of overriding your own needs and instincts to stay safe or keep the peace. Drawing on a story from my coaching work and one from my own childhood, I offer a different way forward: you don't have to silence the inner critic. You can learn to dance with it instead.

In This Episode

• The real difference between imposter syndrome (self-doubt) and the inner critic (shame and fear)
• The story of an author who nearly quit her book because of a voice that wasn't even hers
• My own inner critic, and the childhood moment it still echoes
• Why the inner critic is a symptom of self-abandonment — and what self-abandonment actually looks like for a writer
• The important difference between self-abandonment and sacrifice
• The seven types of inner critics, from psychotherapists Jay Earley and Bonnie Weiss — and how to tell which one is talking
• Why editorial judgment isn't the enemy: separating real craft feedback from inherited cruelty
• Four ways to dance with your inner critic instead of fighting it — including a simple two-column exercise you can do this week

📜 From the Episode 📜

“The inner critic is a symptom of self-abandonment. It's not the root problem. It's the smoke, not the fire.”

“You don't need it gone. You just need it to stop being the one holding the pen.”

✍️ Your Invitation This Week

Four ways to dance with your inner critic, friend:

1. Give it a goofy name — something too ridiculous to take seriously
2. Thank it for trying to protect you, then take the step anyway
3. Draw a line down a page. Left side: what the critic says about you, others, and what's possible. Right side: what wisdom would say. Notice the difference — then choose which voice to believe
4. Do something. Take one small, true action in the direction that makes you nervous

Start noticing when you're abandoning yourself to satisfy that voice. And in that moment, choose yourself instead.

Links & Resources Mentioned

📋 Join Alice's free workshop on Wednesday, October 7th — a deeper dive into imposter syndrome and the inner critic, with live coaching and tools to help you move forward

📋 Join Alice's email list to get the workshop details and Zoom link: alicecrider.com (fill out the contact form)

📗 The seven types of inner critics referenced come from psychotherapists Jay Earley and Bonnie Weiss's Internal Family Systems (IFS) approach, detailed in their books Self-Therapy for Your Inner Critic and Freedom from Your Inner Critic

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About Your Host

Alice Crider is an author coach, book editor, and certified life coach. She has edited hundreds of books and spent decades helping writers move from stuck to published — with their voice, vision, and sanity intact. Her podcast, Your Write Life Coach, exists to give heart-led authors the motivation AND the momentum they need to do the work that matters.

Find Alice at alicecrider.com