WEBVTT
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[UNKNOWN]: Thank you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But sometimes we judge ourselves for evolving, like, why don't I like what I used to like, why don't I want, what I used to want?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Why am I different now?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Why don't I recognize myself now?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because growth can feel like betrayal if you're attached to an old identity.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I really feel this, because if I had clung tightly to old versions of myself, the struggling version, the overly identified version, the super
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[SPEAKER_00]: spiritual, high-vide solo traveler version the version convinced life had to look one specific way while I honestly would be where I'm at right now and sometimes the life that wants to find you requires becoming someone new or leaning into who you your soul wants you to become even when growth is right you can still miss old versions of yourself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Hello, hello, magical friends.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yo, me.
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[SPEAKER_00]: My name is Rickelton.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to your own magic podcast for the creative and the curious soul.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And before we dive into today's episode, I wanted to do a little life catch-up because it's been a minute.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And honestly, life has been kind of beautifully full lately.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Jordan and I have been traveling a ton as you know, and I haven't told you exactly why, but it's mostly for work.
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[SPEAKER_00]: My newer work has made main work that, you know, brings in the dough, and it just, it's been such an interesting season.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And we've done Vegas a few times for work, Boston, Philly a few times, and most recently, Nashville for two weeks.
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[SPEAKER_00]: straight, which was so much fun.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You live in Nashville, shout out because you are so blessed living in such a beautiful place.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I love going into any restaurant and there is someone playing
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[SPEAKER_00]: really, really, really good blood music.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like that, I can see that being so competitive there because everybody was phenomenal.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I genuinely love Nashville.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The energy, the music, the food, and just the creative pulse of the city, good vibes, so good.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, like I said, I've been feeling really full in the best way, very blessed, very creatively fulfilled, very grateful.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I've been
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[SPEAKER_00]: loving getting to be creative for work and making money and loving building something that actually feels aligned in my new era of life and living a beautiful life full of travel, great wonderful meals so much wonderful things just going on lately and it feels like such a gift and I'm feeling beyond grateful.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You guys have heard me in many different seasons.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right now I'm definitely
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[SPEAKER_00]: Grounded but very content state and just a state of gratitude and does that mean life is always perfect every single day and full of roses?
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[SPEAKER_00]: No, of course.
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[SPEAKER_00]: There's always hiccups right and for the most part Looking at the grand scheme of life.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Just so beautiful.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So grateful.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Another exciting thing that's happening is Jordan and I are about to go island hopping
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[SPEAKER_00]: And no, not Hawaii.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We meet our passports for this spot.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So with all this travel, I'm just wanting to give you a heads up that we will only have magic Monday episodes for the next several weeks.
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[SPEAKER_00]: except for not on June 22nd or June 29th, but I will be back, July 6th.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So no Thursday episodes, just Magic Mondays, except for June 22nd and June 29th, and I will be back, July 6th, and I'll tell you all about it, which is very exciting.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And this trip is not work by the way, this trip is a leisure.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, we will be working, but we want to, this is for us.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This is for Jordan and I, and just a romantic, get away, a romantic adventure exploring.
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[SPEAKER_00]: slowing down a little being inspired just the two of us.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm very curious what ideas thoughts, downloads, reflections, or chaos might come through me while I'm there.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Seeing what wants to emerge because life lately has been a lot, a lot of work, a lot of movement, a lot of creating.
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[SPEAKER_00]: working what feels like all the time, but also this deeply rewarding way that feels so different than burnout.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I just have to say that I feel incredibly grateful because some of you have been here for long enough to remember when I was really going through it right financial stress on certainty big identity questions feeling kind of untethered.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Wow, it really can change so much can change, and I think part of the shift happened when I stopped gripping so tightly to an identity or a timeline or what I thought my life should look like, and instead really asked myself, what feels authentic?
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[SPEAKER_00]: What do I actually want?
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[SPEAKER_00]: What version of a life feels expansive instead of performative, right?
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[SPEAKER_00]: And when I trusted that and leaned into that, everything started changing in the best way.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I feel like the people of my life are just so we I have the most genuine connections and relationships.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And what actually brings us perfectly in today's episode.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Cause,
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[SPEAKER_00]: We are always changing life is always changing around us, and maybe we're meant to.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Have you ever looked at an older version of yourself and thought who even was she?
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[SPEAKER_00]: The girl who's tolerated that relationship, the woman who wanted that career, the version of you who used to stay out until 2 a.m., fueled by Tequila and adrenaline and
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[SPEAKER_00]: questionable decisions, or maybe not even years ago, maybe literally yesterday.
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[SPEAKER_00]: When you felt energized and social creative, clear, magnetic, then today you can barely answer a text, right?
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're overstimulated, your brain feels foggy, your craving quiet, and soft clothes, and I sweat and pants, maybe a blanket, burrito, same, completely different capacity, and yet
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[SPEAKER_00]: We live in a world that praises consistency, like it's the ultimate marker of wellness and maturity and discipline and worth.
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[SPEAKER_00]: to be the same, perform the same, produce the same show up the same, your human, human beings are machines.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And women, especially, we are deeply cyclical, emotional, biological, creative, evolving beings.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So today I want to talk about honoring your changing nature, not just from day to day, but from season to season, because now and on maybe the goal isn't becoming one polished
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[SPEAKER_00]: predictable version of yourself forever, maybe the goal is a learning how to trust yourself through change.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Let's start small.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Daily life.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because honestly, sometimes we can be still me and to ourselves over normal human fluctuations.
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[SPEAKER_00]: One day, your productive, motivated, focus, get in things done, replying to emails, making healthy meals,
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[SPEAKER_00]: feeling like that girl and then the next.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you're making one phone call that feels like climbing now Everest.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And immediately we go, what is wrong with me?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Why can't I just be consistent?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Why am I like this?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Why is this so hard for me today?
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[SPEAKER_00]: But maybe obviously nothing is wrong with you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you're internal weather changed because think about what impacts us every single day.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We've got sleep, stress, hormones, your nervous system, blood sugar.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Whether you've been around a lot of people or
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[SPEAKER_00]: You've had a long time, whether you're emotional bandwidth, got quietly eaten alive by life, whether your body simply just needs rest, or just needs a recharged, needs some time to yourself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: These things matter, and yet we often expect ourselves to function like perfectly optimized software.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Same output and mood, same capacity, same motivation, that is not how being human works.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And honestly, it's definitely not how many women function.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Your capacity changing does not mean you're worth changed.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Your energy shifting does not mean you're lazy.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Your social battery being low doesn't mean you're broken.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes you're just human.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I think part of maturity is asking, what do I actually have capacity for today?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Instead of how do I force myself to be?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yesterday's version of me, because self-trust isn't forcing sameness.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's learning to work with yourself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then zooming out a little, there's also our cyclical nature.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And listen, this is not becoming a cycle, sinking, girl boss wellness influencer episode at all.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But biology does matter, hormones affect mood, energy, focus, patients, sleep, motivation, emotional sensitivity, and even beyond menstruation, because not everyone listening is in the same hormonal season, right?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Our bodies still move through rhythms, we've got stress rhythms, emotional rhythms, creative rhythms, recovery rhythms, some
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[SPEAKER_00]: weeks, you feel outward, right, your social, expressive, sexy, motivated.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then other times you just want to hide from the world and eat snacks in silence, and honestly, really to but instead of honoring those rhythms that we often judge ourselves for them, because somewhere along the way, we absorbed this belief that stability means sameness.
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[SPEAKER_00]: that maturity means predictability, that discipline means overwriting your body, but what if discipline sometimes looks like listening, or what if self-awareness is knowing I'm not at full capacity this week, and not as an excuse but as information, that doesn't mean abandon responsibility, it means respond intelligently, because you are not a static operating system,
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[SPEAKER_00]: you are much closer to seasons.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And now the bigger one, life seasons because I think this is where change can feel the most emotional.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I mean daily fluctuations are one thing but becoming a different person over time.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That can feel disorienting.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like, wait.
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[SPEAKER_00]: who am I now?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because maybe in your early 20s you loved chaos, you were spontaneous all the time, you had these messy relationships, you were saying yes to every invite or everything, every one.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You loved proving yourself, loved the adrenaline of uncertainty.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And maybe now, that sounds exhausting, not because you're boring, but because you evolved.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Or maybe you're late 20s, or this giant shedding season.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Friendships changing, career questions, heartbreak boundaries, realizing chemistry does not equal compatibility aka...
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[SPEAKER_00]: character development.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then your thirties can bring this entirely different kind of discernment, less performance, more peace, less proving, more choosing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes less tolerance for nonsense.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And the weird part is that sometimes we judge ourselves for evolving, like,
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[SPEAKER_00]: Why don't I like what I used to like?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Why don't I want what I used to want?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Why am I different now?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Why don't I recognize myself now?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because growth can feel like betrayal if you're attached to an old identity.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I really feel this because if I had clung tightly to old versions of myself, the struggling version, the overly identified version, the super,
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[SPEAKER_00]: spiritual, high vibe, solo traveler version, the version convinced life had to look one specific way.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I honestly wouldn't be where I'm at right now, and sometimes the life that wants to find you requires becoming someone new or leaning into who you, your soul wants you to become.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But that can be so beautiful, but also a little griffy, right?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because even when growth is right, you can still miss old versions of yourself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I think this is the part we don't talk about enough.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Growth of course sounds beautiful and theory.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Evolution sounds empowering.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Reimvention sounds sexy, right?
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[SPEAKER_00]: But change can also come with grief, because sometimes becoming someone new means saying goodbye to versions of yourself you genuinely loved.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You know, maybe the carefree version of you or the wild version, the deeply hopeful version, the version who believed that relationship would work or the one who had a completely different dream of her life.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The younger version of you, who had a less wisdom, but also maybe less fear and anxiety.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes growth can feel strange because even when you know you've outgrown something,
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[SPEAKER_00]: A part of you may still miss it, or miss her, and that's okay, it is, it's okay, we all go through this, honoring your evolution doesn't mean pretending every version of your life was wrong or embarrassing or cringy or something you feel like you have to hold on to, I mean, that girl got you here, that version of you was doing the best she could with the awareness she had at the time.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And honestly, some versions of us were kind of iconic, right, but I think that there's just a tenderness in being able to say, thank you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for protecting me and for helping me survive and for teaching me and allowing me to continue to learn and grow.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I release you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: because growth doesn't have to be self-rejection, it can be self-compassion.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so this brings me to a question that naturally comes up when we talk about all this change.
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[SPEAKER_00]: If I'm always evolving, if my energy changes, if my desire's change, if my identity shifts, then who even am I?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, actually stays constant.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's such a beautiful question, because yes, your preferences may change.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Your routines may change your relationship.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Standards may change, your career may change, your spirituality may evolve.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Your friend group may shift.
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[SPEAKER_00]: your tolerance for nonsense may dramatically improve, but underneath all of that, there's often still an essence, a throughline, a soul thread, and I'm sure the friends have been in your life for so long, always feel it, always see it no matter what era you are.
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[SPEAKER_00]: in your life because they know you, they know the soul of you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it's your curiosity or your sensitivity, your creativity, your sense of humor, your compassion, your resilience, your heart, the expression may evolve, but your essence often remains.
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[SPEAKER_00]: you're not losing yourself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You were becoming more of yourself and I think that distinction matters.
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[SPEAKER_00]: If this episode is hitting home, here are a few questions to sit with and not overanalyze yourself because we don't mean more of that, but to gently reflect for the day-to-day version of you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Ask yourself, what do I actually have capacity for today?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Not, how do I force myself to perform like a dead yesterday?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Capacity changes, that's human.
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[SPEAKER_00]: and for your current license and ask, what version of me am I quietly outgrowing?
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[SPEAKER_00]: A identity, a dynamic, a coping mechanism, perhaps, or a dream that no longer fits, or a story about who you think you're supposed to be?
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[SPEAKER_00]: That can be a powerful one.
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[SPEAKER_00]: For self-compassion, ask, am I judging myself for changing or honoring it?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because those are very different energies.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm judging myself for changing, or honoring it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And then maybe one more, maybe ask, what would it look like to trust this season instead of resisting it?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Even if it feels uncertain or even if you don't fully understand it yet.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe maturity isn't becoming one polished, predictable, perfectly optimized version of yourself forever, maybe maturity is learning how to meet your changing nature without shame, and to honor the woman you were, to be honest with the woman you are.
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[SPEAKER_00]: and to make space for the woman quietly emerging because you were never meant to stay exactly the same.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Not every day, not every month, not every season, and honestly, they're goodness because some of our old selves had a questionable taste, but truly.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Changes not always evidence that something is wrong, sometimes change is evidence that life is moving through you exactly as a child.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So, if you're in a season where you feel different, less certain,
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[SPEAKER_00]: More tender even, more discerning, more tired, more inspired, more expensive, more confused.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Whatever it is, that doesn't necessarily mean you're lost.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It may be simply mean you're becoming, and that's a beautiful thing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: With all that being said, connect with me on Instagram or Substack at Recall Montreau.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's our AQUELLEMA-NTRAA.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Tune in next magic Monday, remember no at the so-thirds day.
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[UNKNOWN]: Thank you so much for watching.
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[UNKNOWN]: Thank you.
00:13.396 --> 00:20.442
[SPEAKER_00]: But sometimes we judge ourselves for evolving, like, why don't I like what I used to like, why don't I want, what I used to want?
00:20.542 --> 00:21.943
[SPEAKER_00]: Why am I different now?
00:22.143 --> 00:24.325
[SPEAKER_00]: Why don't I recognize myself now?
00:24.445 --> 00:27.888
[SPEAKER_00]: Because growth can feel like betrayal if you're attached to an old identity.
00:28.068 --> 00:36.215
[SPEAKER_00]: And I really feel this, because if I had clung tightly to old versions of myself, the struggling version, the overly identified version, the super
00:36.515 --> 00:58.350
[SPEAKER_00]: spiritual, high-vide solo traveler version the version convinced life had to look one specific way while I honestly would be where I'm at right now and sometimes the life that wants to find you requires becoming someone new or leaning into who you your soul wants you to become even when growth is right you can still miss old versions of yourself.
01:02.637 --> 01:04.479
[SPEAKER_00]: Hello, hello, magical friends.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yo, me.
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[SPEAKER_00]: My name is Rickelton.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to your own magic podcast for the creative and the curious soul.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And before we dive into today's episode, I wanted to do a little life catch-up because it's been a minute.
01:19.774 --> 01:27.081
[SPEAKER_00]: And honestly, life has been kind of beautifully full lately.
01:27.585 --> 01:33.870
[SPEAKER_00]: Jordan and I have been traveling a ton as you know, and I haven't told you exactly why, but it's mostly for work.
01:34.490 --> 01:41.656
[SPEAKER_00]: My newer work has made main work that, you know, brings in the dough, and it just, it's been such an interesting season.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And we've done Vegas a few times for work, Boston, Philly a few times, and most recently, Nashville for two weeks.
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[SPEAKER_00]: straight, which was so much fun.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You live in Nashville, shout out because you are so blessed living in such a beautiful place.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I love going into any restaurant and there is someone playing
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[SPEAKER_00]: really, really, really good blood music.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like that, I can see that being so competitive there because everybody was phenomenal.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I genuinely love Nashville.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The energy, the music, the food, and just the creative pulse of the city, good vibes, so good.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, like I said, I've been feeling really full in the best way, very blessed, very creatively fulfilled, very grateful.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I've been
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[SPEAKER_00]: loving getting to be creative for work and making money and loving building something that actually feels aligned in my new era of life and living a beautiful life full of travel, great wonderful meals so much wonderful things just going on lately and it feels like such a gift and I'm feeling beyond grateful.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You guys have heard me in many different seasons.
02:57.728 --> 02:58.848
[SPEAKER_00]: Right now I'm definitely
03:01.009 --> 03:09.397
[SPEAKER_00]: Grounded but very content state and just a state of gratitude and does that mean life is always perfect every single day and full of roses?
03:09.597 --> 03:10.378
[SPEAKER_00]: No, of course.
03:10.418 --> 03:15.322
[SPEAKER_00]: There's always hiccups right and for the most part Looking at the grand scheme of life.
03:15.382 --> 03:16.243
[SPEAKER_00]: Just so beautiful.
03:16.403 --> 03:16.964
[SPEAKER_00]: So grateful.
03:17.124 --> 03:20.747
[SPEAKER_00]: Another exciting thing that's happening is Jordan and I are about to go island hopping
03:21.608 --> 03:23.169
[SPEAKER_00]: And no, not Hawaii.
03:23.349 --> 03:25.111
[SPEAKER_00]: We meet our passports for this spot.
03:25.551 --> 03:35.118
[SPEAKER_00]: So with all this travel, I'm just wanting to give you a heads up that we will only have magic Monday episodes for the next several weeks.
03:36.171 --> 03:41.573
[SPEAKER_00]: except for not on June 22nd or June 29th, but I will be back, July 6th.
03:41.653 --> 03:52.137
[SPEAKER_00]: So no Thursday episodes, just Magic Mondays, except for June 22nd and June 29th, and I will be back, July 6th, and I'll tell you all about it, which is very exciting.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And this trip is not work by the way, this trip is a leisure.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, we will be working, but we want to, this is for us.
03:58.620 --> 04:03.582
[SPEAKER_00]: This is for Jordan and I, and just a romantic, get away, a romantic adventure exploring.
04:04.182 --> 04:07.124
[SPEAKER_00]: slowing down a little being inspired just the two of us.
04:07.364 --> 04:15.511
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm very curious what ideas thoughts, downloads, reflections, or chaos might come through me while I'm there.
04:15.911 --> 04:23.296
[SPEAKER_00]: Seeing what wants to emerge because life lately has been a lot, a lot of work, a lot of movement, a lot of creating.
04:24.177 --> 04:30.662
[SPEAKER_00]: working what feels like all the time, but also this deeply rewarding way that feels so different than burnout.
04:31.022 --> 04:45.292
[SPEAKER_00]: And I just have to say that I feel incredibly grateful because some of you have been here for long enough to remember when I was really going through it right financial stress on certainty big identity questions feeling kind of untethered.
04:46.132 --> 05:03.867
[SPEAKER_00]: Wow, it really can change so much can change, and I think part of the shift happened when I stopped gripping so tightly to an identity or a timeline or what I thought my life should look like, and instead really asked myself, what feels authentic?
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[SPEAKER_00]: What do I actually want?
05:07.652 --> 05:11.314
[SPEAKER_00]: What version of a life feels expansive instead of performative, right?
05:11.494 --> 05:18.839
[SPEAKER_00]: And when I trusted that and leaned into that, everything started changing in the best way.
05:18.979 --> 05:24.582
[SPEAKER_00]: And I feel like the people of my life are just so we I have the most genuine connections and relationships.
05:24.702 --> 05:28.764
[SPEAKER_00]: And what actually brings us perfectly in today's episode.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Cause,
05:30.085 --> 05:34.749
[SPEAKER_00]: We are always changing life is always changing around us, and maybe we're meant to.
05:34.929 --> 05:38.933
[SPEAKER_00]: Have you ever looked at an older version of yourself and thought who even was she?
05:39.714 --> 05:49.122
[SPEAKER_00]: The girl who's tolerated that relationship, the woman who wanted that career, the version of you who used to stay out until 2 a.m., fueled by Tequila and adrenaline and
05:49.963 --> 05:55.645
[SPEAKER_00]: questionable decisions, or maybe not even years ago, maybe literally yesterday.
05:56.485 --> 06:02.546
[SPEAKER_00]: When you felt energized and social creative, clear, magnetic, then today you can barely answer a text, right?
06:02.566 --> 06:15.030
[SPEAKER_00]: You're overstimulated, your brain feels foggy, your craving quiet, and soft clothes, and I sweat and pants, maybe a blanket, burrito, same, completely different capacity, and yet
06:16.012 --> 06:23.005
[SPEAKER_00]: We live in a world that praises consistency, like it's the ultimate marker of wellness and maturity and discipline and worth.
06:23.879 --> 06:29.521
[SPEAKER_00]: to be the same, perform the same, produce the same show up the same, your human, human beings are machines.
06:30.242 --> 06:36.004
[SPEAKER_00]: And women, especially, we are deeply cyclical, emotional, biological, creative, evolving beings.
06:36.584 --> 06:47.529
[SPEAKER_00]: So today I want to talk about honoring your changing nature, not just from day to day, but from season to season, because now and on maybe the goal isn't becoming one polished
06:48.129 --> 06:54.592
[SPEAKER_00]: predictable version of yourself forever, maybe the goal is a learning how to trust yourself through change.
06:55.052 --> 06:55.892
[SPEAKER_00]: Let's start small.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Daily life.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because honestly, sometimes we can be still me and to ourselves over normal human fluctuations.
07:06.557 --> 07:13.460
[SPEAKER_00]: One day, your productive, motivated, focus, get in things done, replying to emails, making healthy meals,
07:14.082 --> 07:17.086
[SPEAKER_00]: feeling like that girl and then the next.
07:17.647 --> 07:22.953
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you're making one phone call that feels like climbing now Everest.
07:23.954 --> 07:26.815
[SPEAKER_00]: And immediately we go, what is wrong with me?
07:27.155 --> 07:28.536
[SPEAKER_00]: Why can't I just be consistent?
07:28.556 --> 07:29.516
[SPEAKER_00]: Why am I like this?
07:29.556 --> 07:31.197
[SPEAKER_00]: Why is this so hard for me today?
07:31.617 --> 07:34.198
[SPEAKER_00]: But maybe obviously nothing is wrong with you.
07:34.498 --> 07:40.260
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you're internal weather changed because think about what impacts us every single day.
07:40.440 --> 07:46.082
[SPEAKER_00]: We've got sleep, stress, hormones, your nervous system, blood sugar.
07:46.382 --> 07:48.563
[SPEAKER_00]: Whether you've been around a lot of people or
07:50.273 --> 08:02.998
[SPEAKER_00]: You've had a long time, whether you're emotional bandwidth, got quietly eaten alive by life, whether your body simply just needs rest, or just needs a recharged, needs some time to yourself.
08:03.558 --> 08:09.921
[SPEAKER_00]: These things matter, and yet we often expect ourselves to function like perfectly optimized software.
08:10.741 --> 08:18.444
[SPEAKER_00]: Same output and mood, same capacity, same motivation, that is not how being human works.
08:20.330 --> 08:24.213
[SPEAKER_00]: And honestly, it's definitely not how many women function.
08:24.333 --> 08:27.355
[SPEAKER_00]: Your capacity changing does not mean you're worth changed.
08:27.936 --> 08:31.118
[SPEAKER_00]: Your energy shifting does not mean you're lazy.
08:31.718 --> 08:35.201
[SPEAKER_00]: Your social battery being low doesn't mean you're broken.
08:36.262 --> 08:38.043
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes you're just human.
08:38.772 --> 08:43.714
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think part of maturity is asking, what do I actually have capacity for today?
08:43.734 --> 08:45.874
[SPEAKER_00]: Instead of how do I force myself to be?
08:46.635 --> 08:51.896
[SPEAKER_00]: Yesterday's version of me, because self-trust isn't forcing sameness.
08:52.136 --> 08:54.517
[SPEAKER_00]: It's learning to work with yourself.
08:54.937 --> 08:59.119
[SPEAKER_00]: And then zooming out a little, there's also our cyclical nature.
08:59.219 --> 09:06.261
[SPEAKER_00]: And listen, this is not becoming a cycle, sinking, girl boss wellness influencer episode at all.
09:07.358 --> 09:22.910
[SPEAKER_00]: But biology does matter, hormones affect mood, energy, focus, patients, sleep, motivation, emotional sensitivity, and even beyond menstruation, because not everyone listening is in the same hormonal season, right?
09:22.950 --> 09:30.856
[SPEAKER_00]: Our bodies still move through rhythms, we've got stress rhythms, emotional rhythms, creative rhythms, recovery rhythms, some
09:31.687 --> 09:37.610
[SPEAKER_00]: weeks, you feel outward, right, your social, expressive, sexy, motivated.
09:38.130 --> 09:53.618
[SPEAKER_00]: And then other times you just want to hide from the world and eat snacks in silence, and honestly, really to but instead of honoring those rhythms that we often judge ourselves for them, because somewhere along the way, we absorbed this belief that stability means sameness.
09:54.418 --> 10:20.438
[SPEAKER_00]: that maturity means predictability, that discipline means overwriting your body, but what if discipline sometimes looks like listening, or what if self-awareness is knowing I'm not at full capacity this week, and not as an excuse but as information, that doesn't mean abandon responsibility, it means respond intelligently, because you are not a static operating system,
10:21.258 --> 10:24.081
[SPEAKER_00]: you are much closer to seasons.
10:24.742 --> 10:30.307
[SPEAKER_00]: And now the bigger one, life seasons because I think this is where change can feel the most emotional.
10:30.687 --> 10:35.973
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean daily fluctuations are one thing but becoming a different person over time.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That can feel disorienting.
10:38.735 --> 10:40.157
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, wait.
10:41.436 --> 10:42.037
[SPEAKER_00]: who am I now?
10:42.537 --> 10:55.373
[SPEAKER_00]: Because maybe in your early 20s you loved chaos, you were spontaneous all the time, you had these messy relationships, you were saying yes to every invite or everything, every one.
10:55.894 --> 11:00.380
[SPEAKER_00]: You loved proving yourself, loved the adrenaline of uncertainty.
11:01.870 --> 11:08.516
[SPEAKER_00]: And maybe now, that sounds exhausting, not because you're boring, but because you evolved.
11:08.836 --> 11:12.639
[SPEAKER_00]: Or maybe you're late 20s, or this giant shedding season.
11:13.159 --> 11:20.866
[SPEAKER_00]: Friendships changing, career questions, heartbreak boundaries, realizing chemistry does not equal compatibility aka...
11:21.206 --> 11:22.307
[SPEAKER_00]: character development.
11:23.448 --> 11:32.135
[SPEAKER_00]: And then your thirties can bring this entirely different kind of discernment, less performance, more peace, less proving, more choosing.
11:32.995 --> 11:35.357
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes less tolerance for nonsense.
11:36.578 --> 11:39.701
[SPEAKER_00]: And the weird part is that sometimes we judge ourselves for evolving, like,
11:40.640 --> 11:43.022
[SPEAKER_00]: Why don't I like what I used to like?
11:43.122 --> 11:45.504
[SPEAKER_00]: Why don't I want what I used to want?
11:45.945 --> 11:47.866
[SPEAKER_00]: Why am I different now?
11:48.767 --> 11:50.969
[SPEAKER_00]: Why don't I recognize myself now?
11:51.509 --> 11:54.932
[SPEAKER_00]: Because growth can feel like betrayal if you're attached to an old identity.
11:55.132 --> 12:06.162
[SPEAKER_00]: And I really feel this because if I had clung tightly to old versions of myself, the struggling version, the overly identified version, the super,
12:07.411 --> 12:13.913
[SPEAKER_00]: spiritual, high vibe, solo traveler version, the version convinced life had to look one specific way.
12:13.933 --> 12:26.556
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I honestly wouldn't be where I'm at right now, and sometimes the life that wants to find you requires becoming someone new or leaning into who you, your soul wants you to become.
12:26.576 --> 12:29.737
[SPEAKER_00]: But that can be so beautiful, but also a little griffy, right?
12:29.777 --> 12:34.798
[SPEAKER_00]: Because even when growth is right, you can still miss old versions of yourself.
12:35.358 --> 12:38.140
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think this is the part we don't talk about enough.
12:38.860 --> 12:40.922
[SPEAKER_00]: Growth of course sounds beautiful and theory.
12:41.322 --> 12:43.283
[SPEAKER_00]: Evolution sounds empowering.
12:43.903 --> 12:46.485
[SPEAKER_00]: Reimvention sounds sexy, right?
12:46.545 --> 12:54.550
[SPEAKER_00]: But change can also come with grief, because sometimes becoming someone new means saying goodbye to versions of yourself you genuinely loved.
12:55.137 --> 13:06.825
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, maybe the carefree version of you or the wild version, the deeply hopeful version, the version who believed that relationship would work or the one who had a completely different dream of her life.
13:07.285 --> 13:12.868
[SPEAKER_00]: The younger version of you, who had a less wisdom, but also maybe less fear and anxiety.
13:13.329 --> 13:18.012
[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes growth can feel strange because even when you know you've outgrown something,
13:18.812 --> 13:42.409
[SPEAKER_00]: A part of you may still miss it, or miss her, and that's okay, it is, it's okay, we all go through this, honoring your evolution doesn't mean pretending every version of your life was wrong or embarrassing or cringy or something you feel like you have to hold on to, I mean, that girl got you here, that version of you was doing the best she could with the awareness she had at the time.
13:43.249 --> 13:52.913
[SPEAKER_00]: And honestly, some versions of us were kind of iconic, right, but I think that there's just a tenderness in being able to say, thank you.
13:52.933 --> 14:02.558
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for protecting me and for helping me survive and for teaching me and allowing me to continue to learn and grow.
14:02.578 --> 14:04.319
[SPEAKER_00]: And I release you.
14:05.475 --> 14:10.478
[SPEAKER_00]: because growth doesn't have to be self-rejection, it can be self-compassion.
14:10.958 --> 14:16.021
[SPEAKER_00]: And so this brings me to a question that naturally comes up when we talk about all this change.
14:16.241 --> 14:24.625
[SPEAKER_00]: If I'm always evolving, if my energy changes, if my desire's change, if my identity shifts, then who even am I?
14:25.285 --> 14:27.847
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, actually stays constant.
14:28.900 --> 14:32.824
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that's such a beautiful question, because yes, your preferences may change.
14:33.265 --> 14:35.367
[SPEAKER_00]: Your routines may change your relationship.
14:35.947 --> 14:40.312
[SPEAKER_00]: Standards may change, your career may change, your spirituality may evolve.
14:41.113 --> 14:42.855
[SPEAKER_00]: Your friend group may shift.
14:43.410 --> 15:01.667
[SPEAKER_00]: your tolerance for nonsense may dramatically improve, but underneath all of that, there's often still an essence, a throughline, a soul thread, and I'm sure the friends have been in your life for so long, always feel it, always see it no matter what era you are.
15:02.350 --> 15:04.733
[SPEAKER_00]: in your life because they know you, they know the soul of you.
15:04.913 --> 15:17.346
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it's your curiosity or your sensitivity, your creativity, your sense of humor, your compassion, your resilience, your heart, the expression may evolve, but your essence often remains.
15:18.273 --> 15:19.374
[SPEAKER_00]: you're not losing yourself.
15:19.914 --> 15:24.956
[SPEAKER_00]: You were becoming more of yourself and I think that distinction matters.
15:25.257 --> 15:37.363
[SPEAKER_00]: If this episode is hitting home, here are a few questions to sit with and not overanalyze yourself because we don't mean more of that, but to gently reflect for the day-to-day version of you.
15:38.063 --> 15:41.627
[SPEAKER_00]: Ask yourself, what do I actually have capacity for today?
15:41.647 --> 15:45.872
[SPEAKER_00]: Not, how do I force myself to perform like a dead yesterday?
15:46.553 --> 15:48.255
[SPEAKER_00]: Capacity changes, that's human.
15:49.600 --> 15:54.663
[SPEAKER_00]: and for your current license and ask, what version of me am I quietly outgrowing?
15:55.284 --> 16:05.010
[SPEAKER_00]: A identity, a dynamic, a coping mechanism, perhaps, or a dream that no longer fits, or a story about who you think you're supposed to be?
16:05.650 --> 16:06.771
[SPEAKER_00]: That can be a powerful one.
16:07.892 --> 16:12.835
[SPEAKER_00]: For self-compassion, ask, am I judging myself for changing or honoring it?
16:13.876 --> 16:15.777
[SPEAKER_00]: Because those are very different energies.
16:17.603 --> 16:21.468
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm judging myself for changing, or honoring it.
16:21.488 --> 16:28.636
[SPEAKER_00]: And then maybe one more, maybe ask, what would it look like to trust this season instead of resisting it?
16:29.798 --> 16:33.902
[SPEAKER_00]: Even if it feels uncertain or even if you don't fully understand it yet.
16:35.152 --> 16:51.732
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe maturity isn't becoming one polished, predictable, perfectly optimized version of yourself forever, maybe maturity is learning how to meet your changing nature without shame, and to honor the woman you were, to be honest with the woman you are.
16:53.205 --> 16:59.168
[SPEAKER_00]: and to make space for the woman quietly emerging because you were never meant to stay exactly the same.
16:59.428 --> 17:09.753
[SPEAKER_00]: Not every day, not every month, not every season, and honestly, they're goodness because some of our old selves had a questionable taste, but truly.
17:09.953 --> 17:17.156
[SPEAKER_00]: Changes not always evidence that something is wrong, sometimes change is evidence that life is moving through you exactly as a child.
17:17.356 --> 17:21.578
[SPEAKER_00]: So, if you're in a season where you feel different, less certain,
17:22.038 --> 17:28.860
[SPEAKER_00]: More tender even, more discerning, more tired, more inspired, more expensive, more confused.
17:29.300 --> 17:32.020
[SPEAKER_00]: Whatever it is, that doesn't necessarily mean you're lost.
17:32.120 --> 17:36.141
[SPEAKER_00]: It may be simply mean you're becoming, and that's a beautiful thing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: With all that being said, connect with me on Instagram or Substack at Recall Montreau.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's our AQUELLEMA-NTRAA.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Tune in next magic Monday, remember no at the so-thirds day.
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[UNKNOWN]: Thank you so much for watching.
