WEBVTT
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I found something extraordinary in my life.
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That if I changed one word, I could change everything.
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And it happened when I was in hospital.
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I'd been run over, I'd had surgery.
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And changing the word pain to discomfort told in my brain, well, if I'm not in pain, I don't need drugs.
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And you know what?
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I actually have come off most of my medication because I've stopped saying I'm in pain, which is permanent, and discomfort is temporary.
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So I thought today I'd do a podcast.
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Just me talking.
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Judges, you and I, if you switch the word hard to unfamiliar, something magical happens.
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We resist what is hard, but we go towards what is familiar.
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Trying to fall pregnant makes an image that your brain doesn't understand, and it can't take you to what it does not understand.
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I've had great success in helping women conceive.
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You can have eight pregnancies and never have a baby.
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But if you say to your brain, a lot of you written to me and said, Hey Marissa, I really like your new podcast, Your Mind, Your Rules, but I miss you coming on and giving me advice and just talking to me.
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So I thought today I'd do a podcast, just me talking to you, just you and I.
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And I want to help you, and I'm going to ask you a question first.
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What have you done to try and change?
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How many books have you read?
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How many courses have you taken?
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How many affirmations have you written?
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How much manifestation are you doing?
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Because the fastest way to change your life is to change the words you use.
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I love this expression.
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Words are the thread on which you string your very experience.
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So imagine you have a panda bracelet and it's got those beads on it, or one of those little bracelets kids have that each bead is initial that spells out their name.
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If you had a bracelet on your arm now with beads, and each bead had a saying that you use a lot, what are the words you're threading your every experience on?
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Do your beads say it's so hard, it's so difficult, I'm not good enough, I'm not like other people, I'm not enough, I'm not worthy, I can't find the money.
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Love is painful.
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Just close your eyes, just for a minute with me, just close your eyes and imagine if I got a bracelet and each bead lists a little statement I make about myself.
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I'm too old, I'm not a perfect ten, I'm not qualified, I'm not good enough.
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And all these beads add up, and these are the experience you're using, and you don't like it, how could we change it?
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So this podcast is just about words.
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I found something extraordinary in my life.
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That if I changed one word, I could change everything.
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And it happened when I was in hospital.
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I'd been run over, I'd had surgery, and the nurses kept coming in with trays of drugs, bags of drugs, saying, You in pain?
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I'm like, no, I'm in discomfort.
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Are you suffering?
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No, I'm in discomfort.
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And changing the word pain to discomfort, suffering to discomfort, told in my brain, well, if I'm not in pain, I don't need drugs.
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If I'm in discomfort, I can actually get comfortable, I can move myself around and go to sleep.
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So I've switched out that word for if I never say I'm in pain, I've got a chronic headache, I've got the worst migraine in the world, I've got the most terrible, horrible cold.
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I've got a heavy cold, because the words you put in front of words amplify them, which is good.
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Who wants to amplify a headache or a cold?
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So I invite you to stop saying pain and say instead discomfort, suffering, discomfort, stress, discomfort.
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And if you have a headache, don't say got a chronic headache, say I've got a mild headache, a little something.
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I got a horrible cold, I got a mild niggle.
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Your words shape your reality.
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And amazing, when you just change one word, you actually change your reality.
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So the first one is switch pain to discomfort.
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Someone wrote and said, Hey Marissa, I heard you say that.
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Couldn't believe it, but I did it, and you know what?
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I actually have come off most of my medication because I've stopped saying I'm in pain, which is permanent, and discomfort is temporary.
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Here's another word I would love for you to change.
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How often do you say it's hard?
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It's so hard being a parent, it's so hard being married, it's so hard.
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This commute to work is hard, or it's so difficult managing a team, difficult raising teenagers.
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If you switch the word hard to unfamiliar, something magical happens.
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Hard is permanent.
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Unfamiliar becomes familiar.
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I had a Blackberry phone, I got it out of recently and thought, you know what?
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I don't even know how to operate this BlackBerry, but I used it for years.
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But when I got my Apple phone, operating that became familiar, the Blackberry became unfamiliar.
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So never say it's hard.
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It's hard to learn to code, it's hard to do therapy on yourself, it's hard to find the time, say it's unfamiliar.
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Think about the things in your life that were once hard, driving a car, using your phone, starting a new job, being a parent.
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These things were hard.
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Raising a tiny newborn baby, going out into the world and building your business was hard, but over time it just became familiar.
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We resist what is hard, but we go towards what is familiar.
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And the brain loves what is familiar.
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So when you say this is just unfamiliar, it becomes familiar.
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And if you want to practice making something amazing, familiar, make it praise.
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So I remember someone saying to me when I went to AA, they gave me a mirror and said, look at it and say, I love myself.
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I couldn't do it.
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But eventually I did it, and then you know what?
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It became familiar.
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Doing the plank is unfamiliar till it's familiar.
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Putting some silicone on your finger and shoving it in your eye is the most unfamiliar thing you'll ever do.
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But if you do it every day, it becomes familiar.
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If you've never gone running, it's unfamiliar.
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Then it isn't.
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So I want you to switch the word hard or difficult or even tough to unfamiliar.
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This is unfamiliar because your brain is what I call an evidence-seeking, where when you say it's hard, it finds evidence, it's hard.
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It's so hard being married.
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I said, Really?
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I I found it very hard being single.
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I woke up one day and I was ill and I had to get out of bed and go and get my own medication from the pharmacy when I was really sick, but now my husband will do it all for me.
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If I'm not well, he will make me dinner.
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By the way, I don't use the word sick.
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I use the word mildly unwell, because sick is very different.
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It's hard having a baby.
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It is, but there's so much love.
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It's much harder to say, you know, I wanted a baby and I never was lucky enough to have one.
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So whenever you're saying hard, difficult, tough, change it to this is unfamiliar.
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Nothing is hard.
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A lot of stuff is unfamiliar, but when you apply that word, your brain knows that unfamiliar becomes familiar, hard stays hard, difficult stays difficult, unfamiliar becomes familiar.
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And here's my favorite, favorite, favorite word switch.
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I want becomes I require.
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It's a word when you're wanting, you're always wanting, it's a word of lack.
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When you say I require, this evidence-seeking robot goes into action.
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Don't say I want love.
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Say I require the love of someone who adores me and is adored by me.
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I want a promotion, I require the kind of job where I'm noticed and valued.
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If you've ever known or wished that you were capable of more, this might interest you for 40 years.
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I've used the same techniques with royalty, with CEOs, some of the most successful people in the world.
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And what I've learned in that time is this.
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So many people are held back by the very same core beliefs without ever realizing that they're there.
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Beliefs formed so long ago that they now shape everything you do.
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And when you understand the core of those beliefs and change them at a subconscious level, everything changes your confidence, your relationships, your health, your wealth, your happiness, your joy, your success in life.
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And that's why I created upgrade your life.
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Twelve weeks of life coaching with me using the same tools I use with my private clients.
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It's very hard to even get a session with me today because I'm so busy.
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But when you come to upgrade your life, I'm working with you live as if you are my own private client.
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So if you're ready to make a change, this is your sign to get started.
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Click the link up here or in the description to register for a free information video and find out more.
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I can't wait to see that.
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Thanks for tuning in.
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Hope to see you there.
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I was giving a talk recently and somebody wrote and said, Hey, I heard you talk about switching out want to require, and I came home and I changed my vision board and I changed all my affirmations to require, crossed out want.
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Someone had owed me money for five years within two weeks, the check appeared.
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Because I began to say, I require that person to pay me back.
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I require that debt to be repaid.
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Not want, require.
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And when you say what I require of myself is to get a promotion, make more money, have a beautiful, loving relationship, you action your brain to take action.
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Your brain is always moving forwards.
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And the word require sets off action.
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The word want just leaves you staying in lack forever.
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So stop saying want and say require, I require, I require.
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Somebody said to me, you know, I heard you speak.
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I wouldn't say I want to go to sleep, I must go to sleep, I need to be asleep now.
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So I started to say, I require sleep to come to me, and to stay with me for eight hours.
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And it was amazing.
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It changed I had insomnia, and then I just didn't.
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I was saying, I want to go to sleep, I must go to sleep.
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I'm trying to go to sleep.
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I said, I require sleep to come to me now and to stay with me for eight hours or until my required wake-up time.
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See your brain is very literal, the way you feel about everything, and I do mean everything is just down to two things, the words you form and the pictures you construct.
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So imagine you say this, I'm trying to fall asleep.
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That is so confusing to your brain.
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Trying is a misdirect, it implies failure.
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And falling is something we fear.
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We're born with a fear of falling.
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Go and stand at a high building and look down, and your legs and stomach will do their own thing.
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So don't say I'm trying to fall asleep.
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Say I require sleep to come to me now.
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So the word require is an action word.
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The word wanting is an inaction word.
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And let's go back to that word trying.
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I've had great success in helping women conceive.
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I've written a book about it.
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And this means I'm trying to get pregnant.
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And that's very confusing.
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Trying implies failure.
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And getting pregnant doesn't mean a thing.
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I'm trying to fall pregnant is even more confusing because trying is a misdirect, implies failure.
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Our great fear is of falling.
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We're born with only two fears, the fear of loud noises and the fear of falling.
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And pregnant, you can have eight pregnancies and never have a baby.
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But if you say to your brain, I require to conceive a perfect baby, I require to conceive a perfect, healthy baby, to have a perfect, healthy full-term pregnancy, and to raise that beautiful baby and to have a lovely relationship for the rest of my life.
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I require my body to conceive a perfect, healthy baby.
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That makes an image you can go towards trying to fall pregnant, makes an image that your brain doesn't understand and it can't take you to what it does not understand.
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You see, you don't try to brush your teeth, you don't try to eat dinner, you don't try to drink your coffee.
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If I said to someone, hey, I'm having a lunch, would you like to come?
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They go, I'll try.
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I already know they're not coming.
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Would you like to have dinner with me next week?
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I'll try.
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I know they're not coming.
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I'm gonna give you a free session.
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Would you like it?
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I'll try to be there.
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Because trying is very, very trying.
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Trying implies failure.
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So go through your affirmations, go through your manifestations, go through your workbook.
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How many times do you say try and try?
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I'll try to say I'm doing it.
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Do not say try because the word trying implies failure.
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It's a misdirect.
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A hypnotist will say, try to open your eyes and notice they're glued shut.
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You go, wow, can't open my eyes.
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If they said open your eyes, you would open them, but try to open them means it's hard.
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It implies failure.
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So just replace that word trying with doing.
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I'm gonna try to get a better job.
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I'm getting a better job.
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I'm gonna try dating again, I'm finding love.
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I'm gonna try to get back that money or to get a pay rise.
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I'm doing it.
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So these things are all very, very simple.
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You would never say I'm trying to be confident, I'm trying to find love, I'm trying to build my business, but we do use those words.
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And even in Star Wars, he says, you don't try, you do, or you don't do.
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So you're either doing it or trying it.
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Just banish the word try.
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In fact, if you want to get an Olympic record, you can say try.
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But other than that, you might say I'm trying out a new recipe.
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But other than that, if it's about you, your desires, your requests, do not say try.
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Let's move on to another word that in changing it will change your entire life.
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And here it is, I have to.
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I have to go to work.
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I have to make dinner for the kids, I have to visit my parents, I have to have this meeting with my boss.
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Have to implies you are stuck.
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It even implies you're trapped.
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I have to write that report.
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But when you say I get to, I get to make dinner for my children, I get to visit my parents, I get to write that report.
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When I wrote my first book, I'm now writing my eighth one, I said, Oh, I have to sit alone and write this book.
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And my brain said that's very solitary, no fun in there.
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And I suddenly had an overwhelming desire to tidy up my sock drawer, to put all the books on, to do anything except write that book.
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When I said I get to write a book, I get to spend all day on Sunday writing a book, I get to have that book published, I get to be a published author.
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And the word author actually means authority.
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So just by switching, I have to do I get to.
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I get to go to work.
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I get to meet my boss, I get to speak to people.
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It's very different to have to.
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Have to is trapped.
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Get to is freedom.
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Have to is stuck, get to is a choice.
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So switch out, I have to to I get to.
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And here's another word I love, and it's called going through it.
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I have a terrible cold.
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I've got the flu, I've got a migraine, I've got period pain.
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If you say I'm going through my period, and it's really nothing at all.
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I'm going through a mild niggly cold, I'm going through IVF.
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Going through indicates it has an ending, and the brain can cope with anything, even pain, if it has an ending.
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Weirdly, people who are sentenced are better than people who are waiting in remand.
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Because the brain doesn't like uncertainty.
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So when you say I'm going through a cold, I'm going through the menopause, I'm going through IVF, I'm going through a transition at work, I'm going through a relationship ending, I'm going through a divorce, it says this has an ending.
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When you say I'm suffering with a cold, I have a cold, I'm in a divorce.
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So when you're in something that you don't particularly like, so I'm going through it.
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I had cancer twice and saying I'm going through this.
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Told my brain this is going to end.
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But I'm not going anywhere.
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I'm going through a treatment and it's super effective.
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I'm going through a break of a relationship.
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I'm going through it and it has an ending.
00:17:34.640 --> 00:17:37.039
We can cope with anything, even pain.
00:17:37.279 --> 00:17:40.240
We can cope with change if we can see the ending.
00:17:40.400 --> 00:17:44.960
But when it there's no ending, we feel hopeless, helpless, and trapped.
00:17:45.039 --> 00:17:50.640
So never say I'm stuck, I'm suffering, I have.
00:17:51.359 --> 00:17:53.759
So I'm going through something.
00:17:53.920 --> 00:17:54.960
I'm going through it.
00:17:55.039 --> 00:17:56.240
It's really nothing at all.
00:17:56.400 --> 00:17:57.519
It's just a blip.
00:17:57.680 --> 00:17:59.519
I'm going through it.
00:17:59.759 --> 00:18:03.200
This is probably my favorite word to use all the time.
00:18:03.519 --> 00:18:05.039
I am safe.
00:18:05.519 --> 00:18:11.119
If you can signal to this robot here that you are safe, your life will change in every area.
00:18:11.200 --> 00:18:26.400
You see, you might think you're super modern, you get a wee govy taxi, and it's all so great, but in here you're very primitive, you have ancient beliefs, and your brain doesn't care if you're slim, healthy, having an organic diet and making a fortune.
00:18:26.559 --> 00:18:28.640
It cares if you are safe.
00:18:29.039 --> 00:18:31.359
And all of our fears to do with not being safe.
00:18:31.519 --> 00:18:35.119
I'm scared of speaking in public in case people laugh at me.
00:18:35.359 --> 00:18:38.799
I'm scared of letting someone love me in case they dump me.
00:18:39.039 --> 00:18:44.640
I'm scared of going in an elevator or a plane or on a motorway, a freeway because I'm not safe.
00:18:44.720 --> 00:18:49.759
I'm scared of bees or dogs, because I'm not safe, even spiders.
00:18:50.240 --> 00:18:53.039
So I want you to think, you know, I am safe.
00:18:53.200 --> 00:18:57.039
I cannot go to spider and go, it's over there, it's much more scared of me.
00:18:57.200 --> 00:18:59.279
Bees, if I keep still, they just leave.
00:18:59.519 --> 00:19:04.160
An aeroplane is actually safer than a car ride statistically.
00:19:04.319 --> 00:19:07.440
Elevators are safe, and I have a phone I can call somebody.
00:19:08.000 --> 00:19:13.440
When you can signal to this software up here that you're safe, your life will change.
00:19:13.680 --> 00:19:14.640
So let's do that.
00:19:14.720 --> 00:19:19.200
Now I want you to close your eyes and I want you to repeat these very words.
00:19:19.440 --> 00:19:23.839
I am safe to walk through the world as myself.
00:19:25.359 --> 00:19:27.119
I'm safe to be me.
00:19:28.160 --> 00:19:31.039
I'm safe to let love in.
00:19:31.680 --> 00:19:34.160
I am safe to give and receive love.
00:19:35.279 --> 00:19:41.359
I'm safe to find my gift, develop my gift, and share it with the world.
00:19:42.240 --> 00:19:44.000
I'm safe to be seen.
00:19:44.559 --> 00:19:50.160
You see, this signaling to your brain that you're safe is not about is the door locked, is the alarm on.
00:19:50.240 --> 00:19:53.279
It's about am I safe to be myself?
00:19:53.440 --> 00:19:55.680
Am I safe to share my hopes and dreams?
00:19:55.839 --> 00:19:56.720
Am I safe?
00:19:57.599 --> 00:19:59.200
And safety comes from you.
00:19:59.359 --> 00:20:00.799
Safety is a choice.
00:20:01.599 --> 00:20:03.279
So let's do it again.
00:20:03.599 --> 00:20:07.119
And I want you to sustain it, affirm it, embody it.
00:20:07.279 --> 00:20:11.920
I am safe to walk through the world as myself.
00:20:13.039 --> 00:20:14.799
I'm safe to be me.
00:20:16.240 --> 00:20:19.440
I'm safe to share my hopes and desires.
00:20:20.079 --> 00:20:25.359
I'm safe to let you love me and I'm safe to love you back.
00:20:26.319 --> 00:20:29.039
I'm safe to share my opinions.
00:20:29.440 --> 00:20:31.359
I'm safe to use my voice.
00:20:31.519 --> 00:20:34.079
I am safe to be seen and heard.
00:20:35.200 --> 00:20:36.880
And I want you to add in.
00:20:38.160 --> 00:20:40.240
I want you to give me five more.
00:20:40.400 --> 00:20:41.359
I am safe.
00:20:42.319 --> 00:20:46.640
I'm safe to be myself, to express myself.
00:20:46.720 --> 00:20:49.519
I'm safe to make a lot of money.
00:20:49.839 --> 00:20:52.720
I'm safe to have my own family.
00:20:52.880 --> 00:20:54.400
I'm safe to drive on the free.
00:20:54.640 --> 00:20:58.000
Whatever it is, I want you to say five, I am safe.
00:20:58.079 --> 00:20:59.599
So I'll start, you end it.
00:20:59.759 --> 00:21:03.839
I am safe to complete that sentence.
00:21:04.640 --> 00:21:10.079
I am safe to and just three more.
00:21:10.480 --> 00:21:15.039
I am safe to and just one more.
00:21:15.440 --> 00:21:17.680
I am safe too.
00:21:18.079 --> 00:21:20.319
Safety is a choice.
00:21:20.559 --> 00:21:22.240
I'm gonna tell you a funny story.
00:21:22.400 --> 00:21:31.039
I was in Africa and I had a guide called Clive, and he would we were walking and we came across a white rhino and a baby and oh this is amazing.
00:21:31.119 --> 00:21:31.680
Let's track them.
00:21:31.920 --> 00:21:40.559
He said, But if that rhino turns and starts charging us, run in a zigzag, because they can't really see you, they can smell you and hear you and climb a tree.
00:21:40.640 --> 00:21:43.119
And I thought, wow, I can't climb a tree.
00:21:43.200 --> 00:21:44.880
I didn't feel very safe.
00:21:45.440 --> 00:21:53.599
And Clive could see it, and he said to me, as I walk through the valley of death, I feel because I'm the baddest motherfucker in Africa.
00:21:53.680 --> 00:21:54.400
And I loved that.
00:21:54.640 --> 00:21:56.319
Oh, I feel safe with Clive.
00:21:56.559 --> 00:21:59.599
He was saying that prayer as I walk through the valley.
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:04.480
Of death, I feel it was because I'm the baddest motherfucker here.
00:22:04.640 --> 00:22:10.559
And I felt completely safe, and we tracked the rhino, it didn't charge us, and then we went back to our camp.
00:22:11.440 --> 00:22:14.160
But Clive made me feel safe.
00:22:14.400 --> 00:22:16.079
And being safe is reassuring.
00:22:16.160 --> 00:22:17.119
It's also very sexy.
00:22:17.200 --> 00:22:21.039
I think he had a different girlfriend every week because Clive had to make people feel safe.
00:22:21.119 --> 00:22:25.279
He had a gun and he was very ripped, and he was a great guy.
00:22:25.599 --> 00:22:28.079
But he made people feel safe.
00:22:28.319 --> 00:22:34.640
I used to fly from LA to London every ten days, and one day we hit turbulence and the captain said, Please don't worry.
00:22:34.799 --> 00:22:37.119
This is just a little detour to Disneyland.
00:22:37.279 --> 00:22:38.720
We're going to go below the turbulence.
00:22:38.960 --> 00:22:40.480
Only ten minutes, you're safe with me.
00:22:40.559 --> 00:22:42.319
And we went, Oh, no one said, I hate that captain.
00:22:42.720 --> 00:22:44.000
Aragon went, wow.
00:22:44.319 --> 00:22:45.519
We're safe.
00:22:45.759 --> 00:22:48.960
When I had cancer, my oncologist said, You're safe with me.
00:22:49.119 --> 00:22:50.240
This is nothing at all.
00:22:50.400 --> 00:22:51.680
You're going to be just fine.
00:22:51.920 --> 00:22:52.880
And I was.
00:22:54.000 --> 00:22:56.559
Being safe is a choice.
00:22:56.880 --> 00:23:02.880
It's a choice for the words you use, the language you use, and you get to choose it like that bracelet.
00:23:03.039 --> 00:23:07.839
The bracelet with all the beads, imagine your beads on your bracelet, I'm safe.
00:23:08.240 --> 00:23:10.640
I choose to believe I'm safe.
00:23:11.039 --> 00:23:12.720
Safety is a choice.
00:23:12.880 --> 00:23:15.519
As I walk through the world, I am safe.
00:23:15.680 --> 00:23:16.799
Do you imagine?
00:23:17.680 --> 00:23:24.960
If these are the words on which you strung your own reality, these are the thread that you string your beads and I'm safe.
00:23:25.759 --> 00:23:29.759
Because there is nothing better than signaling to your brain you're safe.
00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:32.960
And so many of us don't realize we signal we're unsafe.
00:23:33.039 --> 00:23:35.759
I don't want to tell them I'm pregnant in case I lose the baby.
00:23:35.920 --> 00:23:37.920
I don't want to celebrate this in case it goes wrong.
00:23:38.079 --> 00:23:42.720
I don't want to show you my book in case you laugh at it.
00:23:42.960 --> 00:23:46.559
No baby is born saying I'm not going to perform or dance.
00:23:47.119 --> 00:23:49.039
They know they're safe.
00:23:49.440 --> 00:23:59.440
You were born knowing it was safe to be to cry in the middle of the night, to have stuff coming out every orifice of your body and to still think you're worthy of being held and loved.
00:23:59.759 --> 00:24:00.880
So here's a question.
00:24:01.039 --> 00:24:07.039
If you were born knowing you were safe to express yourself, where did it go?
00:24:07.920 --> 00:24:10.079
And how quickly can you get it back?
00:24:10.400 --> 00:24:13.759
Because you didn't lose it, you buried it.
00:24:14.000 --> 00:24:21.839
And when you begin to say you're safe, you're unearthing something amazing, your choice in being safe in this world.
00:24:23.039 --> 00:24:25.119
Let's look at just a few other words.
00:24:25.279 --> 00:24:30.559
I want you to close your eyes and go, I hope I find love.
00:24:31.440 --> 00:24:34.799
I dream of being successful.
00:24:35.279 --> 00:24:38.559
I wish I could make more money and do it again.
00:24:38.720 --> 00:24:41.359
I hope I find love.
00:24:42.000 --> 00:24:43.599
I dream of success.
00:24:43.920 --> 00:24:46.400
I wish I could make more money.
00:24:46.799 --> 00:24:50.880
See, hoping, dreaming, wishing says to your brain, keep wishing.
00:24:51.039 --> 00:24:52.079
That's all you can do.
00:24:52.240 --> 00:24:55.680
Hope and keep hoping and dream, but it'll never be true.
00:24:55.759 --> 00:25:02.480
When you say the opposite, I am finding love, and love is finding me.
00:25:03.200 --> 00:25:04.880
I create success.
00:25:04.960 --> 00:25:06.880
I'm on it, I'm doing it.
00:25:07.119 --> 00:25:10.079
I'm finding love and wealth and success.
00:25:10.240 --> 00:25:12.000
You are actioning it.
00:25:12.240 --> 00:25:14.559
So don't hope or wish your dream.
00:25:14.720 --> 00:25:18.640
Say, I'm getting it, I'm doing it, I'm on it, I'm moving towards it.
00:25:18.799 --> 00:25:20.799
What I want wants me.
00:25:21.039 --> 00:25:24.880
And what I am moving towards is moving towards me.
00:25:25.359 --> 00:25:28.240
Your words will shape your reality.
00:25:28.880 --> 00:25:34.160
If you're unhappy with your reality, go back and look at the words you're using and change them.
00:25:34.480 --> 00:25:36.720
Changing your words changes your life.
00:25:36.880 --> 00:25:39.279
Here's the most obvious example of all.
00:25:39.599 --> 00:25:43.359
I'm scared, I'm excited, I'm terrified, I'm excited.
00:25:43.440 --> 00:25:49.759
Imagine you've gone to a fun fair and people are on a ride and they're whizzing down, they're screaming.
00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:55.200
Are they screaming with excitement or happiness or terror?
00:25:55.359 --> 00:25:57.119
Honestly, none of us know.
00:25:58.000 --> 00:26:00.799
Because we can't tell, because it's the same.
00:26:00.880 --> 00:26:03.279
I'm excited, I'm terrified.
00:26:03.519 --> 00:26:05.839
I'm scared, I'm thrilled.
00:26:06.319 --> 00:26:09.119
So never say I'm scared, say I'm excited.
00:26:09.200 --> 00:26:12.559
Yes, I'm about to go for an interview, go on a date.
00:26:12.799 --> 00:26:14.400
And I could say I'm so nervous.
00:26:14.559 --> 00:26:16.559
I could say I'm excited, I'm ready.
00:26:16.720 --> 00:26:19.119
I'm going on a date with someone new.
00:26:19.279 --> 00:26:22.319
I'm going for promotion, I'm going for an interview.
00:26:22.640 --> 00:26:24.480
Because you can choose.
00:26:24.880 --> 00:26:28.079
Your brain has zero choice.
00:26:28.319 --> 00:26:30.960
It must react to the words you give it.
00:26:31.039 --> 00:26:32.160
It doesn't have a choice.
00:26:32.480 --> 00:26:34.000
You are the one with the choice.
00:26:34.079 --> 00:26:36.160
When you choose, I'm excited.
00:26:36.400 --> 00:26:37.519
I'm ready.
00:26:37.759 --> 00:26:42.640
I'm thrilled, I'm elated, I'm delighted rather than I'm scared, I'm terrified.
00:26:43.359 --> 00:26:46.079
I'm excited about going for an audition.
00:26:46.160 --> 00:26:47.920
I'm excited about speaking in public.
00:26:48.160 --> 00:26:50.559
I'm excited about going on a date.
00:26:50.640 --> 00:26:55.519
I'm excited, I'm thrilled about change, I'm elated, I'm delighted.
00:26:56.160 --> 00:27:00.559
The evidence-making robot is your brain will find proof that's true.
00:27:00.640 --> 00:27:10.160
And when you say I'm terrified, I'm so nervous, oh my God, I've got butterflies in my stomach, you will find evidence to make that true.
00:27:10.400 --> 00:27:17.599
Your brain looks for evidence, that's its job, and your job is to give it good evidence, solid evidence that's positive.
00:27:18.240 --> 00:27:23.519
Hoping, wishing, dreaming are evidence that this is something outside of you.
00:27:24.000 --> 00:27:28.640
I'm on it, I'm doing it, I'm actioning, is that you are doing it.
00:27:28.960 --> 00:27:30.640
No third party is required.
00:27:30.799 --> 00:27:33.200
Of course, your boss is going to give you that job.
00:27:33.440 --> 00:27:38.880
The third party is the date you're going on, but you don't need to hope or wish.
00:27:39.200 --> 00:27:42.319
You have all the power to make it work.
00:27:42.640 --> 00:27:45.519
So let's move from I can't to I can.
00:27:46.240 --> 00:27:50.079
I can't do it, I can't change, it's just the way I am.
00:27:50.240 --> 00:27:50.960
Well, that's not true.
00:27:51.039 --> 00:27:53.839
For the minute you were born, you are changing.
00:27:54.240 --> 00:28:03.279
And when you welcome change and see every change is change for the better, and say, I can, I can welcome aging, I can welcome every stage.
00:28:03.519 --> 00:28:08.319
Every stage is a dream that's dying or one that is coming to birth.
00:28:08.480 --> 00:28:12.400
When my daughter left home to go to college, I could have cried.
00:28:12.960 --> 00:28:17.759
Maybe I did a bit, but I took my four-wheel drive and bought a sports car.
00:28:18.000 --> 00:28:19.119
I thought, well, I'm free now.
00:28:19.200 --> 00:28:20.960
I love my daughter, but I'm free.
00:28:21.039 --> 00:28:24.319
I don't need to have a big car anymore to ferry around kids.
00:28:24.559 --> 00:28:28.400
Actually, she came back a lot, but it was okay.
00:28:29.680 --> 00:28:31.039
Look at your life.
00:28:31.279 --> 00:28:35.920
Every stage is a dream that's dying, or something that's coming to birth.
00:28:36.160 --> 00:28:41.200
What is the dream that's dying and what is the new thing that you are birthing?
00:28:41.440 --> 00:28:49.359
So I can to, I can't, I can do this, I can speak in public, I can let love in.
00:28:49.759 --> 00:28:51.680
I can remember stuff.
00:28:51.920 --> 00:28:59.599
You know, my daughter was very little, and I take her to school, we'd get to the game, she'd go, Mummy, but she goes, I've forgotten my swimming cause.
00:28:59.920 --> 00:29:00.880
Mummy, I've forgotten.
00:29:01.039 --> 00:29:02.400
I said, darling, what have you remembered?
00:29:02.559 --> 00:29:07.680
She goes, I remembered my swimming stuff, I remembered my book, I remembered my art.
00:29:08.880 --> 00:29:10.799
So never say, What have I forgotten?
00:29:11.039 --> 00:29:14.640
As you get to the door and turn back, say, what have I remembered?
00:29:14.720 --> 00:29:20.160
I just got I turned back for my keys, my parcel, my wallet, my phone charger.
00:29:20.799 --> 00:29:21.839
What have I remembered?
00:29:22.079 --> 00:29:23.200
Signals, I've got a great memory.
00:29:23.359 --> 00:29:24.000
What have I forgotten?
00:29:24.160 --> 00:29:26.000
Signs, I've got an awful memory.
00:29:26.240 --> 00:29:27.680
Everything is a reframe.
00:29:27.839 --> 00:29:32.160
When you reframe words, you reframe your life.
00:29:32.880 --> 00:29:41.359
So many years ago, a client came to see me and said, you know, I'm having a terrible, I've got cancer, and I cannot go in the MRI scanner.
00:29:41.440 --> 00:29:48.480
In fact, when I go in it, I get so terrified and I have a panic attack, and they've got to bring me out because I'm shaking.
00:29:48.720 --> 00:29:50.720
And in a scanner, you have to be very still.
00:29:50.799 --> 00:29:52.240
And I said, Okay, well, tell me.
00:29:52.400 --> 00:29:56.880
When you go in the scanner, you're thinking a thought.
00:29:57.279 --> 00:30:00.559
Remember, everything you feel is the thoughts you think the worse.
00:30:00.720 --> 00:30:01.759
You said, Yeah.
00:30:02.079 --> 00:30:07.279
I imagine I'm dead and I'm in the crematorium in my coffin, being cremated.
00:30:07.359 --> 00:30:16.720
I'm like, wow, well, no wonder you feel anxious because you're in a scanner going to have your body scanned, and you tell your brain, Well, I'm going to be dead soon.
00:30:16.960 --> 00:30:20.559
I'm going to be going into the crematorium in a coffin.
00:30:20.640 --> 00:30:21.759
It's going to feel just like this.
00:30:21.920 --> 00:30:27.599
Because as the scanner sloured into the machine, he compared it to being cremated.
00:30:28.160 --> 00:30:30.799
And I said, We've got to stop using that word.
00:30:31.200 --> 00:30:35.920
Why don't you say, I always want 20 minutes for myself, and here I am, I've got 20.
00:30:36.160 --> 00:30:37.119
I can lie in that scanner.
00:30:37.200 --> 00:30:40.160
I've got 20 minutes to myself, I can just lie here and chill.
00:30:40.319 --> 00:30:41.920
Or I could say, you know what?
00:30:42.400 --> 00:30:44.880
This is just like being in my bed at home.
00:30:44.960 --> 00:30:50.400
I'm so chilled, I'm just going to lie here and go to sleep for 20 minutes.
00:30:50.960 --> 00:30:57.039
And I kind of told him the different words to use the different signals to this evidence-seeking robot.
00:30:57.119 --> 00:30:59.119
Because when he said he was trapped, it looked for evidence.
00:30:59.279 --> 00:30:59.920
Get out of there.
00:31:00.000 --> 00:31:05.279
When he said, I'm so chilled I could lie here all day, that became his evidence.
00:31:05.440 --> 00:31:08.480
And actually I didn't tell him, but I was also going through cancer.
00:31:08.640 --> 00:31:12.640
When I said going through it, not sorry, going through cancer, it had an ending.
00:31:12.799 --> 00:31:15.680
And I too was going for some scans.
00:31:16.079 --> 00:31:18.400
And on my next scanning, I was lying in the machine.
00:31:18.480 --> 00:31:21.599
I thought about him, and as I thought about him, all the buzzers went off.
00:31:21.839 --> 00:31:28.079
Because I was thinking, oh yeah, imagine being in a scan, thinking, I'm I'm in my coffin, I'm just about to be cremated.
00:31:28.400 --> 00:31:29.839
My body panicked.
00:31:29.920 --> 00:31:32.480
And then I thought, no, I'm super chilled.
00:31:32.559 --> 00:31:36.319
And I I went backwards and forwards, thinking his thoughts, thinking my thoughts.
00:31:36.480 --> 00:31:39.440
Every time I thought his thoughts, all the buzzers would go off.
00:31:39.680 --> 00:31:42.400
Every time I thought my thoughts, I was very chilled.
00:31:42.720 --> 00:31:46.799
So when you think certain thoughts, you create your reality.
00:31:47.440 --> 00:31:51.839
Stop giving your mind the wrong pictures, the wrong words.
00:31:52.319 --> 00:31:55.200
When you change your words, you change your life.
00:31:55.359 --> 00:31:57.680
This is something so simple, but I really love it.
00:31:57.839 --> 00:32:01.599
When you prefix anything with my, you own it.
00:32:01.920 --> 00:32:10.160
My headache, my cancer, my greed, my bad temper, my ex, my ex is ruined my life.
00:32:10.319 --> 00:32:11.759
Well, how long you've been divorced?
00:32:11.839 --> 00:32:12.400
Twenty years.
00:32:12.480 --> 00:32:14.240
Well, he's not yours, is he?
00:32:14.400 --> 00:32:15.039
Or she.
00:32:15.519 --> 00:32:19.200
So if you do not want something, don't put my in front of it.
00:32:19.359 --> 00:32:24.319
My fat legs, my bad temper, my headaches, my migraine, my cancer.
00:32:24.640 --> 00:32:30.160
Someone wrote to me and said, you know, I've read this book, and I noticed how much I said, I've got asperges.
00:32:30.400 --> 00:32:34.319
He said, and I feel like you've given me weapons of mass transformation.
00:32:34.480 --> 00:32:36.880
I stopped saying I can't go there because of my aspergers.
00:32:36.960 --> 00:32:37.359
I can't do that.
00:32:37.839 --> 00:32:39.519
He said, I stopped saying it.
00:32:39.759 --> 00:32:40.400
And you know what?
00:32:40.480 --> 00:32:42.160
It's like I feel like I haven't got asperges.
00:32:42.400 --> 00:32:45.680
In three weeks, everything has changed because of one thing.
00:32:45.839 --> 00:32:53.440
I stopped saying my asperges and said, I'm a normal person, I can go to normal places, I can do normal stuff.
00:32:53.599 --> 00:32:57.519
Because he was telling his brain, I have asperges and all the stuff I can't do.
00:32:57.599 --> 00:33:02.559
But if I say I'm normal, look at all the stuff I can do because I'm normal.
00:33:03.039 --> 00:33:05.599
I invite you to do the same.
00:33:05.920 --> 00:33:09.119
My means you won't mean to say, hey, my gift.
00:33:09.599 --> 00:33:13.759
My gift as a therapist, my coding sort of, hey, come to my home.
00:33:14.000 --> 00:33:16.319
Me, my kids, this is my cat.
00:33:16.880 --> 00:33:20.880
But don't talk about my migraine, my headaches, my irritable bowel.
00:33:21.200 --> 00:33:29.680
And if you have something you want to be free of, call it the headache, the irritable bowel, the bad temper, the is ambiguous.
00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:31.680
My means you own it.
00:33:31.920 --> 00:33:34.480
And let's go to one more word, the word loss.
00:33:34.640 --> 00:33:40.079
People talk so much about I must lose weight, I've got to lose weight, I'm trying to lose weight.
00:33:40.400 --> 00:33:43.119
All pain is linked to the word loss.
00:33:43.359 --> 00:33:44.799
In fact, let's play a game.
00:33:44.880 --> 00:33:47.359
Tell me something great to lose.
00:33:47.599 --> 00:33:55.119
I lost my mind, I lost my memory, I lost my passport, I lost my temper, I lost my job, I lost my client, I lost the baby.
00:33:55.519 --> 00:33:58.720
You see, in ancient times loss was bad.
00:33:58.960 --> 00:34:02.000
If you lost weight, that was being ill.
00:34:02.079 --> 00:34:10.320
In fact, when I was in Africa they called this illness the going skinny, because you tended to lose weight only when you were sick.
00:34:10.559 --> 00:34:17.599
So if you want to change your weight, you can say I'm dropping weight, shedding weight, discarding weight, but don't say losing.
00:34:17.679 --> 00:34:22.079
If you close your eyes and think of the word losing, do it now with the close your eyes.
00:34:22.159 --> 00:34:26.000
Think of losing, loss, being a loser.
00:34:26.559 --> 00:34:28.480
Loser, loss, losing.
00:34:28.639 --> 00:34:29.599
It's all pain.
00:34:29.840 --> 00:34:34.239
But if you think of shedding or discarding or dropping, it's really much more ambiguous.
00:34:34.559 --> 00:34:42.320
Think of a garden shed, a snake shedding its skin, dropping a cup and it breaking, discarding something I don't want.
00:34:42.960 --> 00:34:46.800
So please don't use the word loss about weight.
00:34:47.039 --> 00:34:50.079
Gain is good, we gain state as a diploma.
00:34:50.480 --> 00:34:52.079
Loss is bad.
00:34:52.400 --> 00:34:55.440
So a lot for you to think of here, but you don't have to do all of this.
00:34:55.599 --> 00:34:56.719
Just pick the favorites.
00:34:56.960 --> 00:35:06.960
My favorites are hard becomes unfamiliar, want becomes require, pain becomes discomfort, and I am safe.
00:35:07.199 --> 00:35:10.559
I had to pick four for you, I'd pick those four.
00:35:10.639 --> 00:35:12.320
But you can pick all of them.
00:35:12.880 --> 00:35:15.599
Ask your family, hey, what do I say the most?
00:35:15.679 --> 00:35:16.559
This is hell.
00:35:16.880 --> 00:35:20.239
Oh, this is a nightmare, this is a disaster, this is driving me mad.
00:35:20.320 --> 00:35:20.880
What are you talking about?
00:35:21.039 --> 00:35:28.719
You're talking about the line in the store you went to buy some food, because you have money to buy food and people that want to eat food with you.
00:35:28.800 --> 00:35:30.480
You're talking about the commute to work.
00:35:30.559 --> 00:35:32.719
It's hell, it's a nightmare.
00:35:33.360 --> 00:35:36.159
It's actually someone else's fantasy dream.
00:35:36.320 --> 00:35:40.000
Come to you got a job, you got a car, you got money for gas.
00:35:40.159 --> 00:35:41.599
I'd love that problem.
00:35:42.320 --> 00:35:52.800
So look at what you describe and remember the way you feel about everything is down to the pictures you make in your head and the words that come out of your mouth, and you are free to change all of them.
00:35:52.880 --> 00:35:57.039
In doing that, you will change your life.
00:35:57.199 --> 00:35:57.920
And one more thing.
00:35:58.000 --> 00:35:59.119
Do you say things shortly?
00:35:59.440 --> 00:36:02.320
You never get home on time.
00:36:02.480 --> 00:36:03.679
You're always late.
00:36:03.840 --> 00:36:05.280
You always forget my birthday.
00:36:05.599 --> 00:36:07.280
You never praise me.
00:36:07.519 --> 00:36:09.119
Because that probably isn't true.
00:36:09.360 --> 00:36:10.159
Always, never.
00:36:10.239 --> 00:36:10.960
So change it.
00:36:11.599 --> 00:36:13.840
You sometimes forget my birthday.
00:36:14.079 --> 00:36:16.960
You sometimes forget to give me a compliment.
00:36:17.760 --> 00:36:22.239
But when you say always and never, you make it again permanent.
00:36:22.559 --> 00:36:25.679
And for something to get you, it has to be what I call PPP.
00:36:25.920 --> 00:36:28.239
Permanent, pervasive, personal.
00:36:28.320 --> 00:36:31.039
So let me tell you one more story, and then we'll wrap up for the day.
00:36:31.119 --> 00:36:33.920
One of my clients said, you know, my life is hell.
00:36:34.320 --> 00:36:40.639
Because my four-year-old son gets into bed with us every night, can't get him out of the bed, and it's hell.
00:36:40.719 --> 00:36:43.760
And I said, Well, first of all, it's not hell.
00:36:43.920 --> 00:36:46.960
You know, babies understand something that we forget.
00:36:47.199 --> 00:36:49.599
The more people you sleep with, the safer you are.
00:36:49.920 --> 00:36:59.679
If you see cats and mice and kittens and puppies that all sleep together, in tribal times, we all slept in a group, and the bigger the group, the safer we as the children know.
00:36:59.920 --> 00:37:03.280
If I'm on my mummy and daddy's bed, I'm safer than if I'm on my own.
00:37:03.440 --> 00:37:04.239
They feel it.
00:37:04.320 --> 00:37:06.320
It's an ancient feeling.
00:37:06.719 --> 00:37:08.719
So your kid feels safe with you.
00:37:08.880 --> 00:37:12.400
Secondly, this is not permanent, personal, or pervasive.
00:37:12.480 --> 00:37:17.440
I promise you, in 14 years that kid will not be in your bed, and you'll have new worries.
00:37:17.599 --> 00:37:18.639
Which bed is my son in?
00:37:18.800 --> 00:37:20.639
Is I hope he's having safe sex.
00:37:20.880 --> 00:37:22.960
I hope he's being responsible.
00:37:23.199 --> 00:37:26.719
So it's not permanent in 14 years, your kid will not be in your bed.
00:37:26.880 --> 00:37:29.920
In 10 years, in six years, he will not be in your bed.
00:37:30.000 --> 00:37:31.360
It's not permanent.
00:37:31.599 --> 00:37:32.719
It's not personal.
00:37:32.880 --> 00:37:36.000
All kids want to sleep with their mum and dad to feel safe.
00:37:36.239 --> 00:37:37.440
And it's not pervasive.
00:37:37.519 --> 00:37:41.760
When you're having a lovely bath, a delicious dinner, when you're out with your friends, it's not even going on.
00:37:41.920 --> 00:37:44.480
So look at your issues and ask yourself three things.
00:37:44.639 --> 00:37:45.840
Is this permanent?
00:37:46.079 --> 00:37:47.119
Personal, pervasive.
00:37:47.280 --> 00:37:48.239
My boss is hell.
00:37:48.320 --> 00:37:49.039
Is that permanent?
00:37:49.199 --> 00:37:49.440
No.
00:37:49.599 --> 00:37:50.800
I'm going to get another job.
00:37:50.880 --> 00:37:51.360
Is it personal?
00:37:51.440 --> 00:37:52.480
No, it's like that with everyone.
00:37:52.559 --> 00:37:53.280
Is it pervasive?
00:37:53.360 --> 00:38:00.079
No, when I'm having great sex with my partner or at the movies, it's not actually going on.
00:38:00.719 --> 00:38:03.679
You can change your life by changing your word.
00:38:03.920 --> 00:38:05.119
Start right now.
00:38:05.599 --> 00:38:08.719
You can change it off by saying, is this permanent, personal, pervasive?
00:38:08.800 --> 00:38:09.920
But the answer is no.
00:38:10.159 --> 00:38:10.800
Guess what?
00:38:10.960 --> 00:38:12.159
It can't hurt you.
00:38:12.320 --> 00:38:13.679
Thanks for tuning in.
00:38:13.920 --> 00:38:18.559
Please like, please follow, please subscribe, and please write to me and say, Marissa, I like that.
00:38:19.119 --> 00:38:26.639
But what I really want help with is this, because if you tell me what you want and what you need, I'll do my very best to give it to you.
00:38:26.880 --> 00:38:28.719
Like, subscribe, share.
00:38:29.440 --> 00:38:30.559
Thanks for tuning in.
00:38:30.800 --> 00:38:31.360
Love you.
00:38:31.599 --> 00:38:32.480
See you next time.
00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:02.479
I found something extraordinary in my life.
00:00:02.560 --> 00:00:05.440
That if I changed one word, I could change everything.
00:00:05.519 --> 00:00:07.040
And it happened when I was in hospital.
00:00:07.120 --> 00:00:08.880
I'd been run over, I'd had surgery.
00:00:09.039 --> 00:00:14.800
And changing the word pain to discomfort told in my brain, well, if I'm not in pain, I don't need drugs.
00:00:14.880 --> 00:00:15.599
And you know what?
00:00:15.759 --> 00:00:22.719
I actually have come off most of my medication because I've stopped saying I'm in pain, which is permanent, and discomfort is temporary.
00:00:22.879 --> 00:00:24.719
So I thought today I'd do a podcast.
00:00:24.879 --> 00:00:25.600
Just me talking.
00:00:25.839 --> 00:00:31.199
Judges, you and I, if you switch the word hard to unfamiliar, something magical happens.
00:00:31.359 --> 00:00:35.600
We resist what is hard, but we go towards what is familiar.
00:00:35.759 --> 00:00:43.600
Trying to fall pregnant makes an image that your brain doesn't understand, and it can't take you to what it does not understand.
00:00:43.759 --> 00:00:47.039
I've had great success in helping women conceive.
00:00:47.200 --> 00:00:49.520
You can have eight pregnancies and never have a baby.
00:00:49.679 --> 00:01:01.840
But if you say to your brain, a lot of you written to me and said, Hey Marissa, I really like your new podcast, Your Mind, Your Rules, but I miss you coming on and giving me advice and just talking to me.
00:01:02.000 --> 00:01:07.200
So I thought today I'd do a podcast, just me talking to you, just you and I.
00:01:07.359 --> 00:01:10.799
And I want to help you, and I'm going to ask you a question first.
00:01:11.040 --> 00:01:13.040
What have you done to try and change?
00:01:13.200 --> 00:01:14.719
How many books have you read?
00:01:14.959 --> 00:01:16.560
How many courses have you taken?
00:01:16.640 --> 00:01:18.480
How many affirmations have you written?
00:01:18.640 --> 00:01:21.040
How much manifestation are you doing?
00:01:21.359 --> 00:01:27.359
Because the fastest way to change your life is to change the words you use.
00:01:27.519 --> 00:01:28.799
I love this expression.
00:01:28.959 --> 00:01:33.519
Words are the thread on which you string your very experience.
00:01:33.599 --> 00:01:43.359
So imagine you have a panda bracelet and it's got those beads on it, or one of those little bracelets kids have that each bead is initial that spells out their name.
00:01:43.599 --> 00:01:55.200
If you had a bracelet on your arm now with beads, and each bead had a saying that you use a lot, what are the words you're threading your every experience on?
00:01:55.359 --> 00:02:08.319
Do your beads say it's so hard, it's so difficult, I'm not good enough, I'm not like other people, I'm not enough, I'm not worthy, I can't find the money.
00:02:08.639 --> 00:02:09.840
Love is painful.
00:02:10.000 --> 00:02:20.960
Just close your eyes, just for a minute with me, just close your eyes and imagine if I got a bracelet and each bead lists a little statement I make about myself.
00:02:21.199 --> 00:02:26.560
I'm too old, I'm not a perfect ten, I'm not qualified, I'm not good enough.
00:02:26.800 --> 00:02:34.319
And all these beads add up, and these are the experience you're using, and you don't like it, how could we change it?
00:02:34.400 --> 00:02:37.520
So this podcast is just about words.
00:02:37.680 --> 00:02:40.479
I found something extraordinary in my life.
00:02:40.719 --> 00:02:44.319
That if I changed one word, I could change everything.
00:02:44.400 --> 00:02:45.840
And it happened when I was in hospital.
00:02:45.919 --> 00:02:52.560
I'd been run over, I'd had surgery, and the nurses kept coming in with trays of drugs, bags of drugs, saying, You in pain?
00:02:52.719 --> 00:02:55.599
I'm like, no, I'm in discomfort.
00:02:55.759 --> 00:02:56.800
Are you suffering?
00:02:57.280 --> 00:02:59.680
No, I'm in discomfort.
00:02:59.759 --> 00:03:07.039
And changing the word pain to discomfort, suffering to discomfort, told in my brain, well, if I'm not in pain, I don't need drugs.
00:03:07.199 --> 00:03:12.560
If I'm in discomfort, I can actually get comfortable, I can move myself around and go to sleep.
00:03:12.800 --> 00:03:23.759
So I've switched out that word for if I never say I'm in pain, I've got a chronic headache, I've got the worst migraine in the world, I've got the most terrible, horrible cold.
00:03:24.240 --> 00:03:29.439
I've got a heavy cold, because the words you put in front of words amplify them, which is good.
00:03:29.599 --> 00:03:32.080
Who wants to amplify a headache or a cold?
00:03:32.319 --> 00:03:40.800
So I invite you to stop saying pain and say instead discomfort, suffering, discomfort, stress, discomfort.
00:03:40.960 --> 00:03:46.000
And if you have a headache, don't say got a chronic headache, say I've got a mild headache, a little something.
00:03:46.240 --> 00:03:49.199
I got a horrible cold, I got a mild niggle.
00:03:49.520 --> 00:03:52.560
Your words shape your reality.
00:03:53.120 --> 00:03:58.319
And amazing, when you just change one word, you actually change your reality.
00:03:58.479 --> 00:04:01.439
So the first one is switch pain to discomfort.
00:04:01.599 --> 00:04:04.400
Someone wrote and said, Hey Marissa, I heard you say that.
00:04:05.280 --> 00:04:07.520
Couldn't believe it, but I did it, and you know what?
00:04:07.680 --> 00:04:16.160
I actually have come off most of my medication because I've stopped saying I'm in pain, which is permanent, and discomfort is temporary.
00:04:16.319 --> 00:04:18.399
Here's another word I would love for you to change.
00:04:18.480 --> 00:04:20.399
How often do you say it's hard?
00:04:20.639 --> 00:04:26.800
It's so hard being a parent, it's so hard being married, it's so hard.
00:04:27.040 --> 00:04:34.480
This commute to work is hard, or it's so difficult managing a team, difficult raising teenagers.
00:04:34.720 --> 00:04:39.279
If you switch the word hard to unfamiliar, something magical happens.
00:04:39.600 --> 00:04:41.680
Hard is permanent.
00:04:41.920 --> 00:04:44.160
Unfamiliar becomes familiar.
00:04:44.319 --> 00:04:47.680
I had a Blackberry phone, I got it out of recently and thought, you know what?
00:04:47.920 --> 00:04:51.519
I don't even know how to operate this BlackBerry, but I used it for years.
00:04:51.600 --> 00:04:58.560
But when I got my Apple phone, operating that became familiar, the Blackberry became unfamiliar.
00:04:58.959 --> 00:05:00.560
So never say it's hard.
00:05:00.720 --> 00:05:08.319
It's hard to learn to code, it's hard to do therapy on yourself, it's hard to find the time, say it's unfamiliar.
00:05:08.560 --> 00:05:15.439
Think about the things in your life that were once hard, driving a car, using your phone, starting a new job, being a parent.
00:05:15.920 --> 00:05:17.199
These things were hard.
00:05:17.439 --> 00:05:27.519
Raising a tiny newborn baby, going out into the world and building your business was hard, but over time it just became familiar.
00:05:28.079 --> 00:05:33.279
We resist what is hard, but we go towards what is familiar.
00:05:33.600 --> 00:05:36.959
And the brain loves what is familiar.
00:05:37.279 --> 00:05:41.439
So when you say this is just unfamiliar, it becomes familiar.
00:05:41.680 --> 00:05:46.319
And if you want to practice making something amazing, familiar, make it praise.
00:05:46.800 --> 00:05:51.920
So I remember someone saying to me when I went to AA, they gave me a mirror and said, look at it and say, I love myself.
00:05:52.000 --> 00:05:52.800
I couldn't do it.
00:05:52.959 --> 00:05:54.800
But eventually I did it, and then you know what?
00:05:54.879 --> 00:05:56.480
It became familiar.
00:05:56.800 --> 00:05:59.920
Doing the plank is unfamiliar till it's familiar.
00:06:00.160 --> 00:06:05.199
Putting some silicone on your finger and shoving it in your eye is the most unfamiliar thing you'll ever do.
00:06:05.279 --> 00:06:08.720
But if you do it every day, it becomes familiar.
00:06:08.959 --> 00:06:11.279
If you've never gone running, it's unfamiliar.
00:06:11.360 --> 00:06:12.560
Then it isn't.
00:06:12.959 --> 00:06:21.120
So I want you to switch the word hard or difficult or even tough to unfamiliar.
00:06:21.279 --> 00:06:29.759
This is unfamiliar because your brain is what I call an evidence-seeking, where when you say it's hard, it finds evidence, it's hard.
00:06:31.040 --> 00:06:32.000
It's so hard being married.
00:06:32.079 --> 00:06:32.560
I said, Really?
00:06:32.720 --> 00:06:34.319
I I found it very hard being single.
00:06:34.480 --> 00:06:44.079
I woke up one day and I was ill and I had to get out of bed and go and get my own medication from the pharmacy when I was really sick, but now my husband will do it all for me.
00:06:44.399 --> 00:06:46.800
If I'm not well, he will make me dinner.
00:06:47.040 --> 00:06:49.120
By the way, I don't use the word sick.
00:06:49.360 --> 00:06:53.279
I use the word mildly unwell, because sick is very different.
00:06:53.439 --> 00:06:55.120
It's hard having a baby.
00:06:55.279 --> 00:06:56.879
It is, but there's so much love.
00:06:56.959 --> 00:07:01.120
It's much harder to say, you know, I wanted a baby and I never was lucky enough to have one.
00:07:01.279 --> 00:07:07.759
So whenever you're saying hard, difficult, tough, change it to this is unfamiliar.
00:07:07.920 --> 00:07:09.439
Nothing is hard.
00:07:09.920 --> 00:07:22.800
A lot of stuff is unfamiliar, but when you apply that word, your brain knows that unfamiliar becomes familiar, hard stays hard, difficult stays difficult, unfamiliar becomes familiar.
00:07:23.040 --> 00:07:26.800
And here's my favorite, favorite, favorite word switch.
00:07:27.360 --> 00:07:30.959
I want becomes I require.
00:07:40.800 --> 00:07:45.680
It's a word when you're wanting, you're always wanting, it's a word of lack.
00:07:45.839 --> 00:07:51.759
When you say I require, this evidence-seeking robot goes into action.
00:07:52.000 --> 00:07:53.199
Don't say I want love.
00:07:53.279 --> 00:07:57.519
Say I require the love of someone who adores me and is adored by me.
00:07:57.839 --> 00:08:02.959
I want a promotion, I require the kind of job where I'm noticed and valued.
00:08:03.199 --> 00:08:09.519
If you've ever known or wished that you were capable of more, this might interest you for 40 years.
00:08:09.680 --> 00:08:15.680
I've used the same techniques with royalty, with CEOs, some of the most successful people in the world.
00:08:15.839 --> 00:08:18.720
And what I've learned in that time is this.
00:08:19.040 --> 00:08:24.800
So many people are held back by the very same core beliefs without ever realizing that they're there.
00:08:24.959 --> 00:08:29.120
Beliefs formed so long ago that they now shape everything you do.
00:08:29.199 --> 00:08:43.200
And when you understand the core of those beliefs and change them at a subconscious level, everything changes your confidence, your relationships, your health, your wealth, your happiness, your joy, your success in life.
00:08:43.360 --> 00:08:46.399
And that's why I created upgrade your life.
00:08:46.639 --> 00:08:52.159
Twelve weeks of life coaching with me using the same tools I use with my private clients.
00:08:52.320 --> 00:08:55.840
It's very hard to even get a session with me today because I'm so busy.
00:08:56.000 --> 00:09:02.159
But when you come to upgrade your life, I'm working with you live as if you are my own private client.
00:09:02.399 --> 00:09:06.799
So if you're ready to make a change, this is your sign to get started.
00:09:07.039 --> 00:09:13.919
Click the link up here or in the description to register for a free information video and find out more.
00:09:14.080 --> 00:09:15.120
I can't wait to see that.
00:09:21.440 --> 00:09:22.799
Thanks for tuning in.
00:09:23.039 --> 00:09:24.000
Hope to see you there.
00:09:24.240 --> 00:09:37.440
I was giving a talk recently and somebody wrote and said, Hey, I heard you talk about switching out want to require, and I came home and I changed my vision board and I changed all my affirmations to require, crossed out want.
00:09:37.840 --> 00:09:41.919
Someone had owed me money for five years within two weeks, the check appeared.
00:09:42.080 --> 00:09:45.600
Because I began to say, I require that person to pay me back.
00:09:45.919 --> 00:09:48.240
I require that debt to be repaid.
00:09:48.320 --> 00:09:50.799
Not want, require.
00:09:51.200 --> 00:10:03.200
And when you say what I require of myself is to get a promotion, make more money, have a beautiful, loving relationship, you action your brain to take action.
00:10:03.360 --> 00:10:06.879
Your brain is always moving forwards.
00:10:07.120 --> 00:10:10.000
And the word require sets off action.
00:10:10.080 --> 00:10:14.080
The word want just leaves you staying in lack forever.
00:10:14.240 --> 00:10:18.480
So stop saying want and say require, I require, I require.
00:10:18.639 --> 00:10:21.360
Somebody said to me, you know, I heard you speak.
00:10:21.600 --> 00:10:25.840
I wouldn't say I want to go to sleep, I must go to sleep, I need to be asleep now.
00:10:26.000 --> 00:10:32.960
So I started to say, I require sleep to come to me, and to stay with me for eight hours.
00:10:33.360 --> 00:10:34.000
And it was amazing.
00:10:34.080 --> 00:10:36.399
It changed I had insomnia, and then I just didn't.
00:10:36.639 --> 00:10:39.759
I was saying, I want to go to sleep, I must go to sleep.
00:10:39.840 --> 00:10:41.120
I'm trying to go to sleep.
00:10:41.200 --> 00:10:50.000
I said, I require sleep to come to me now and to stay with me for eight hours or until my required wake-up time.
00:10:50.240 --> 00:11:01.200
See your brain is very literal, the way you feel about everything, and I do mean everything is just down to two things, the words you form and the pictures you construct.
00:11:01.360 --> 00:11:05.759
So imagine you say this, I'm trying to fall asleep.
00:11:06.320 --> 00:11:08.960
That is so confusing to your brain.
00:11:09.200 --> 00:11:13.679
Trying is a misdirect, it implies failure.
00:11:14.000 --> 00:11:16.159
And falling is something we fear.
00:11:16.320 --> 00:11:17.919
We're born with a fear of falling.
00:11:18.000 --> 00:11:23.279
Go and stand at a high building and look down, and your legs and stomach will do their own thing.
00:11:23.600 --> 00:11:26.559
So don't say I'm trying to fall asleep.
00:11:26.799 --> 00:11:31.120
Say I require sleep to come to me now.
00:11:31.840 --> 00:11:34.799
So the word require is an action word.
00:11:35.200 --> 00:11:37.919
The word wanting is an inaction word.
00:11:38.080 --> 00:11:40.879
And let's go back to that word trying.
00:11:41.120 --> 00:11:44.559
I've had great success in helping women conceive.
00:11:44.639 --> 00:11:46.480
I've written a book about it.
00:11:46.639 --> 00:11:50.159
And this means I'm trying to get pregnant.
00:11:50.559 --> 00:11:52.000
And that's very confusing.
00:11:52.159 --> 00:11:53.919
Trying implies failure.
00:11:54.159 --> 00:11:56.720
And getting pregnant doesn't mean a thing.
00:11:56.879 --> 00:12:02.320
I'm trying to fall pregnant is even more confusing because trying is a misdirect, implies failure.
00:12:02.639 --> 00:12:04.320
Our great fear is of falling.
00:12:04.399 --> 00:12:09.200
We're born with only two fears, the fear of loud noises and the fear of falling.
00:12:09.519 --> 00:12:13.440
And pregnant, you can have eight pregnancies and never have a baby.
00:12:13.600 --> 00:12:30.639
But if you say to your brain, I require to conceive a perfect baby, I require to conceive a perfect, healthy baby, to have a perfect, healthy full-term pregnancy, and to raise that beautiful baby and to have a lovely relationship for the rest of my life.
00:12:30.879 --> 00:12:35.519
I require my body to conceive a perfect, healthy baby.
00:12:35.919 --> 00:12:46.720
That makes an image you can go towards trying to fall pregnant, makes an image that your brain doesn't understand and it can't take you to what it does not understand.
00:12:47.039 --> 00:12:53.120
You see, you don't try to brush your teeth, you don't try to eat dinner, you don't try to drink your coffee.
00:12:53.279 --> 00:12:57.440
If I said to someone, hey, I'm having a lunch, would you like to come?
00:12:57.519 --> 00:12:58.480
They go, I'll try.
00:12:58.639 --> 00:13:00.240
I already know they're not coming.
00:13:00.720 --> 00:13:02.720
Would you like to have dinner with me next week?
00:13:02.799 --> 00:13:03.840
I'll try.
00:13:04.159 --> 00:13:05.600
I know they're not coming.
00:13:05.759 --> 00:13:07.600
I'm gonna give you a free session.
00:13:07.679 --> 00:13:08.399
Would you like it?
00:13:08.480 --> 00:13:09.919
I'll try to be there.
00:13:10.159 --> 00:13:13.679
Because trying is very, very trying.
00:13:13.840 --> 00:13:16.159
Trying implies failure.
00:13:16.480 --> 00:13:21.840
So go through your affirmations, go through your manifestations, go through your workbook.
00:13:21.919 --> 00:13:23.679
How many times do you say try and try?
00:13:24.000 --> 00:13:27.200
I'll try to say I'm doing it.
00:13:27.519 --> 00:13:32.080
Do not say try because the word trying implies failure.
00:13:32.159 --> 00:13:33.120
It's a misdirect.
00:13:33.200 --> 00:13:36.240
A hypnotist will say, try to open your eyes and notice they're glued shut.
00:13:36.399 --> 00:13:38.799
You go, wow, can't open my eyes.
00:13:39.200 --> 00:13:45.120
If they said open your eyes, you would open them, but try to open them means it's hard.
00:13:45.279 --> 00:13:46.799
It implies failure.
00:13:47.120 --> 00:13:49.759
So just replace that word trying with doing.
00:13:49.919 --> 00:13:51.679
I'm gonna try to get a better job.
00:13:51.840 --> 00:13:53.600
I'm getting a better job.
00:13:53.840 --> 00:13:57.360
I'm gonna try dating again, I'm finding love.
00:13:57.759 --> 00:14:03.120
I'm gonna try to get back that money or to get a pay rise.
00:14:03.279 --> 00:14:04.720
I'm doing it.
00:14:05.279 --> 00:14:08.240
So these things are all very, very simple.
00:14:08.399 --> 00:14:18.240
You would never say I'm trying to be confident, I'm trying to find love, I'm trying to build my business, but we do use those words.
00:14:18.320 --> 00:14:23.679
And even in Star Wars, he says, you don't try, you do, or you don't do.
00:14:23.759 --> 00:14:26.799
So you're either doing it or trying it.
00:14:26.960 --> 00:14:28.159
Just banish the word try.
00:14:28.399 --> 00:14:31.440
In fact, if you want to get an Olympic record, you can say try.
00:14:31.519 --> 00:14:34.320
But other than that, you might say I'm trying out a new recipe.
00:14:34.399 --> 00:14:40.080
But other than that, if it's about you, your desires, your requests, do not say try.
00:14:40.240 --> 00:14:46.240
Let's move on to another word that in changing it will change your entire life.
00:14:46.960 --> 00:14:49.600
And here it is, I have to.
00:14:50.320 --> 00:14:52.080
I have to go to work.
00:14:52.399 --> 00:14:58.720
I have to make dinner for the kids, I have to visit my parents, I have to have this meeting with my boss.
00:14:59.039 --> 00:15:01.440
Have to implies you are stuck.
00:15:01.759 --> 00:15:03.840
It even implies you're trapped.
00:15:04.080 --> 00:15:06.159
I have to write that report.
00:15:06.320 --> 00:15:15.279
But when you say I get to, I get to make dinner for my children, I get to visit my parents, I get to write that report.
00:15:15.440 --> 00:15:21.600
When I wrote my first book, I'm now writing my eighth one, I said, Oh, I have to sit alone and write this book.
00:15:21.759 --> 00:15:25.279
And my brain said that's very solitary, no fun in there.
00:15:25.360 --> 00:15:32.559
And I suddenly had an overwhelming desire to tidy up my sock drawer, to put all the books on, to do anything except write that book.
00:15:32.799 --> 00:15:43.279
When I said I get to write a book, I get to spend all day on Sunday writing a book, I get to have that book published, I get to be a published author.
00:15:43.440 --> 00:15:46.559
And the word author actually means authority.
00:15:47.200 --> 00:15:50.639
So just by switching, I have to do I get to.
00:15:52.720 --> 00:15:54.399
I get to go to work.
00:15:54.799 --> 00:15:58.080
I get to meet my boss, I get to speak to people.
00:15:58.240 --> 00:15:59.440
It's very different to have to.
00:15:59.600 --> 00:16:00.879
Have to is trapped.
00:16:01.200 --> 00:16:02.320
Get to is freedom.
00:16:02.480 --> 00:16:05.679
Have to is stuck, get to is a choice.
00:16:06.000 --> 00:16:11.200
So switch out, I have to to I get to.
00:16:11.519 --> 00:16:14.960
And here's another word I love, and it's called going through it.
00:16:15.200 --> 00:16:17.279
I have a terrible cold.
00:16:17.519 --> 00:16:23.519
I've got the flu, I've got a migraine, I've got period pain.
00:16:23.600 --> 00:16:28.639
If you say I'm going through my period, and it's really nothing at all.
00:16:28.879 --> 00:16:34.000
I'm going through a mild niggly cold, I'm going through IVF.
00:16:34.720 --> 00:16:41.679
Going through indicates it has an ending, and the brain can cope with anything, even pain, if it has an ending.
00:16:42.000 --> 00:16:46.480
Weirdly, people who are sentenced are better than people who are waiting in remand.
00:16:46.960 --> 00:16:50.000
Because the brain doesn't like uncertainty.
00:16:50.159 --> 00:17:03.919
So when you say I'm going through a cold, I'm going through the menopause, I'm going through IVF, I'm going through a transition at work, I'm going through a relationship ending, I'm going through a divorce, it says this has an ending.
00:17:04.079 --> 00:17:10.240
When you say I'm suffering with a cold, I have a cold, I'm in a divorce.
00:17:10.559 --> 00:17:16.880
So when you're in something that you don't particularly like, so I'm going through it.
00:17:17.039 --> 00:17:20.400
I had cancer twice and saying I'm going through this.
00:17:20.640 --> 00:17:22.640
Told my brain this is going to end.
00:17:22.880 --> 00:17:24.720
But I'm not going anywhere.
00:17:24.960 --> 00:17:28.480
I'm going through a treatment and it's super effective.
00:17:28.720 --> 00:17:31.680
I'm going through a break of a relationship.
00:17:31.920 --> 00:17:34.480
I'm going through it and it has an ending.
00:17:34.640 --> 00:17:37.039
We can cope with anything, even pain.
00:17:37.279 --> 00:17:40.240
We can cope with change if we can see the ending.
00:17:40.400 --> 00:17:44.960
But when it there's no ending, we feel hopeless, helpless, and trapped.
00:17:45.039 --> 00:17:50.640
So never say I'm stuck, I'm suffering, I have.
00:17:51.359 --> 00:17:53.759
So I'm going through something.
00:17:53.920 --> 00:17:54.960
I'm going through it.
00:17:55.039 --> 00:17:56.240
It's really nothing at all.
00:17:56.400 --> 00:17:57.519
It's just a blip.
00:17:57.680 --> 00:17:59.519
I'm going through it.
00:17:59.759 --> 00:18:03.200
This is probably my favorite word to use all the time.
00:18:03.519 --> 00:18:05.039
I am safe.
00:18:05.519 --> 00:18:11.119
If you can signal to this robot here that you are safe, your life will change in every area.
00:18:11.200 --> 00:18:26.400
You see, you might think you're super modern, you get a wee govy taxi, and it's all so great, but in here you're very primitive, you have ancient beliefs, and your brain doesn't care if you're slim, healthy, having an organic diet and making a fortune.
00:18:26.559 --> 00:18:28.640
It cares if you are safe.
00:18:29.039 --> 00:18:31.359
And all of our fears to do with not being safe.
00:18:31.519 --> 00:18:35.119
I'm scared of speaking in public in case people laugh at me.
00:18:35.359 --> 00:18:38.799
I'm scared of letting someone love me in case they dump me.
00:18:39.039 --> 00:18:44.640
I'm scared of going in an elevator or a plane or on a motorway, a freeway because I'm not safe.
00:18:44.720 --> 00:18:49.759
I'm scared of bees or dogs, because I'm not safe, even spiders.
00:18:50.240 --> 00:18:53.039
So I want you to think, you know, I am safe.
00:18:53.200 --> 00:18:57.039
I cannot go to spider and go, it's over there, it's much more scared of me.
00:18:57.200 --> 00:18:59.279
Bees, if I keep still, they just leave.
00:18:59.519 --> 00:19:04.160
An aeroplane is actually safer than a car ride statistically.
00:19:04.319 --> 00:19:07.440
Elevators are safe, and I have a phone I can call somebody.
00:19:08.000 --> 00:19:13.440
When you can signal to this software up here that you're safe, your life will change.
00:19:13.680 --> 00:19:14.640
So let's do that.
00:19:14.720 --> 00:19:19.200
Now I want you to close your eyes and I want you to repeat these very words.
00:19:19.440 --> 00:19:23.839
I am safe to walk through the world as myself.
00:19:25.359 --> 00:19:27.119
I'm safe to be me.
00:19:28.160 --> 00:19:31.039
I'm safe to let love in.
00:19:31.680 --> 00:19:34.160
I am safe to give and receive love.
00:19:35.279 --> 00:19:41.359
I'm safe to find my gift, develop my gift, and share it with the world.
00:19:42.240 --> 00:19:44.000
I'm safe to be seen.
00:19:44.559 --> 00:19:50.160
You see, this signaling to your brain that you're safe is not about is the door locked, is the alarm on.
00:19:50.240 --> 00:19:53.279
It's about am I safe to be myself?
00:19:53.440 --> 00:19:55.680
Am I safe to share my hopes and dreams?
00:19:55.839 --> 00:19:56.720
Am I safe?
00:19:57.599 --> 00:19:59.200
And safety comes from you.
00:19:59.359 --> 00:20:00.799
Safety is a choice.
00:20:01.599 --> 00:20:03.279
So let's do it again.
00:20:03.599 --> 00:20:07.119
And I want you to sustain it, affirm it, embody it.
00:20:07.279 --> 00:20:11.920
I am safe to walk through the world as myself.
00:20:13.039 --> 00:20:14.799
I'm safe to be me.
00:20:16.240 --> 00:20:19.440
I'm safe to share my hopes and desires.
00:20:20.079 --> 00:20:25.359
I'm safe to let you love me and I'm safe to love you back.
00:20:26.319 --> 00:20:29.039
I'm safe to share my opinions.
00:20:29.440 --> 00:20:31.359
I'm safe to use my voice.
00:20:31.519 --> 00:20:34.079
I am safe to be seen and heard.
00:20:35.200 --> 00:20:36.880
And I want you to add in.
00:20:38.160 --> 00:20:40.240
I want you to give me five more.
00:20:40.400 --> 00:20:41.359
I am safe.
00:20:42.319 --> 00:20:46.640
I'm safe to be myself, to express myself.
00:20:46.720 --> 00:20:49.519
I'm safe to make a lot of money.
00:20:49.839 --> 00:20:52.720
I'm safe to have my own family.
00:20:52.880 --> 00:20:54.400
I'm safe to drive on the free.
00:20:54.640 --> 00:20:58.000
Whatever it is, I want you to say five, I am safe.
00:20:58.079 --> 00:20:59.599
So I'll start, you end it.
00:20:59.759 --> 00:21:03.839
I am safe to complete that sentence.
00:21:04.640 --> 00:21:10.079
I am safe to and just three more.
00:21:10.480 --> 00:21:15.039
I am safe to and just one more.
00:21:15.440 --> 00:21:17.680
I am safe too.
00:21:18.079 --> 00:21:20.319
Safety is a choice.
00:21:20.559 --> 00:21:22.240
I'm gonna tell you a funny story.
00:21:22.400 --> 00:21:31.039
I was in Africa and I had a guide called Clive, and he would we were walking and we came across a white rhino and a baby and oh this is amazing.
00:21:31.119 --> 00:21:31.680
Let's track them.
00:21:31.920 --> 00:21:40.559
He said, But if that rhino turns and starts charging us, run in a zigzag, because they can't really see you, they can smell you and hear you and climb a tree.
00:21:40.640 --> 00:21:43.119
And I thought, wow, I can't climb a tree.
00:21:43.200 --> 00:21:44.880
I didn't feel very safe.
00:21:45.440 --> 00:21:53.599
And Clive could see it, and he said to me, as I walk through the valley of death, I feel because I'm the baddest motherfucker in Africa.
00:21:53.680 --> 00:21:54.400
And I loved that.
00:21:54.640 --> 00:21:56.319
Oh, I feel safe with Clive.
00:21:56.559 --> 00:21:59.599
He was saying that prayer as I walk through the valley.
00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:04.480
Of death, I feel it was because I'm the baddest motherfucker here.
00:22:04.640 --> 00:22:10.559
And I felt completely safe, and we tracked the rhino, it didn't charge us, and then we went back to our camp.
00:22:11.440 --> 00:22:14.160
But Clive made me feel safe.
00:22:14.400 --> 00:22:16.079
And being safe is reassuring.
00:22:16.160 --> 00:22:17.119
It's also very sexy.
00:22:17.200 --> 00:22:21.039
I think he had a different girlfriend every week because Clive had to make people feel safe.
00:22:21.119 --> 00:22:25.279
He had a gun and he was very ripped, and he was a great guy.
00:22:25.599 --> 00:22:28.079
But he made people feel safe.
00:22:28.319 --> 00:22:34.640
I used to fly from LA to London every ten days, and one day we hit turbulence and the captain said, Please don't worry.
00:22:34.799 --> 00:22:37.119
This is just a little detour to Disneyland.
00:22:37.279 --> 00:22:38.720
We're going to go below the turbulence.
00:22:38.960 --> 00:22:40.480
Only ten minutes, you're safe with me.
00:22:40.559 --> 00:22:42.319
And we went, Oh, no one said, I hate that captain.
00:22:42.720 --> 00:22:44.000
Aragon went, wow.
00:22:44.319 --> 00:22:45.519
We're safe.
00:22:45.759 --> 00:22:48.960
When I had cancer, my oncologist said, You're safe with me.
00:22:49.119 --> 00:22:50.240
This is nothing at all.
00:22:50.400 --> 00:22:51.680
You're going to be just fine.
00:22:51.920 --> 00:22:52.880
And I was.
00:22:54.000 --> 00:22:56.559
Being safe is a choice.
00:22:56.880 --> 00:23:02.880
It's a choice for the words you use, the language you use, and you get to choose it like that bracelet.
00:23:03.039 --> 00:23:07.839
The bracelet with all the beads, imagine your beads on your bracelet, I'm safe.
00:23:08.240 --> 00:23:10.640
I choose to believe I'm safe.
00:23:11.039 --> 00:23:12.720
Safety is a choice.
00:23:12.880 --> 00:23:15.519
As I walk through the world, I am safe.
00:23:15.680 --> 00:23:16.799
Do you imagine?
00:23:17.680 --> 00:23:24.960
If these are the words on which you strung your own reality, these are the thread that you string your beads and I'm safe.
00:23:25.759 --> 00:23:29.759
Because there is nothing better than signaling to your brain you're safe.
00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:32.960
And so many of us don't realize we signal we're unsafe.
00:23:33.039 --> 00:23:35.759
I don't want to tell them I'm pregnant in case I lose the baby.
00:23:35.920 --> 00:23:37.920
I don't want to celebrate this in case it goes wrong.
00:23:38.079 --> 00:23:42.720
I don't want to show you my book in case you laugh at it.
00:23:42.960 --> 00:23:46.559
No baby is born saying I'm not going to perform or dance.
00:23:47.119 --> 00:23:49.039
They know they're safe.
00:23:49.440 --> 00:23:59.440
You were born knowing it was safe to be to cry in the middle of the night, to have stuff coming out every orifice of your body and to still think you're worthy of being held and loved.
00:23:59.759 --> 00:24:00.880
So here's a question.
00:24:01.039 --> 00:24:07.039
If you were born knowing you were safe to express yourself, where did it go?
00:24:07.920 --> 00:24:10.079
And how quickly can you get it back?
00:24:10.400 --> 00:24:13.759
Because you didn't lose it, you buried it.
00:24:14.000 --> 00:24:21.839
And when you begin to say you're safe, you're unearthing something amazing, your choice in being safe in this world.
00:24:23.039 --> 00:24:25.119
Let's look at just a few other words.
00:24:25.279 --> 00:24:30.559
I want you to close your eyes and go, I hope I find love.
00:24:31.440 --> 00:24:34.799
I dream of being successful.
00:24:35.279 --> 00:24:38.559
I wish I could make more money and do it again.
00:24:38.720 --> 00:24:41.359
I hope I find love.
00:24:42.000 --> 00:24:43.599
I dream of success.
00:24:43.920 --> 00:24:46.400
I wish I could make more money.
00:24:46.799 --> 00:24:50.880
See, hoping, dreaming, wishing says to your brain, keep wishing.
00:24:51.039 --> 00:24:52.079
That's all you can do.
00:24:52.240 --> 00:24:55.680
Hope and keep hoping and dream, but it'll never be true.
00:24:55.759 --> 00:25:02.480
When you say the opposite, I am finding love, and love is finding me.
00:25:03.200 --> 00:25:04.880
I create success.
00:25:04.960 --> 00:25:06.880
I'm on it, I'm doing it.
00:25:07.119 --> 00:25:10.079
I'm finding love and wealth and success.
00:25:10.240 --> 00:25:12.000
You are actioning it.
00:25:12.240 --> 00:25:14.559
So don't hope or wish your dream.
00:25:14.720 --> 00:25:18.640
Say, I'm getting it, I'm doing it, I'm on it, I'm moving towards it.
00:25:18.799 --> 00:25:20.799
What I want wants me.
00:25:21.039 --> 00:25:24.880
And what I am moving towards is moving towards me.
00:25:25.359 --> 00:25:28.240
Your words will shape your reality.
00:25:28.880 --> 00:25:34.160
If you're unhappy with your reality, go back and look at the words you're using and change them.
00:25:34.480 --> 00:25:36.720
Changing your words changes your life.
00:25:36.880 --> 00:25:39.279
Here's the most obvious example of all.
00:25:39.599 --> 00:25:43.359
I'm scared, I'm excited, I'm terrified, I'm excited.
00:25:43.440 --> 00:25:49.759
Imagine you've gone to a fun fair and people are on a ride and they're whizzing down, they're screaming.
00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:55.200
Are they screaming with excitement or happiness or terror?
00:25:55.359 --> 00:25:57.119
Honestly, none of us know.
00:25:58.000 --> 00:26:00.799
Because we can't tell, because it's the same.
00:26:00.880 --> 00:26:03.279
I'm excited, I'm terrified.
00:26:03.519 --> 00:26:05.839
I'm scared, I'm thrilled.
00:26:06.319 --> 00:26:09.119
So never say I'm scared, say I'm excited.
00:26:09.200 --> 00:26:12.559
Yes, I'm about to go for an interview, go on a date.
00:26:12.799 --> 00:26:14.400
And I could say I'm so nervous.
00:26:14.559 --> 00:26:16.559
I could say I'm excited, I'm ready.
00:26:16.720 --> 00:26:19.119
I'm going on a date with someone new.
00:26:19.279 --> 00:26:22.319
I'm going for promotion, I'm going for an interview.
00:26:22.640 --> 00:26:24.480
Because you can choose.
00:26:24.880 --> 00:26:28.079
Your brain has zero choice.
00:26:28.319 --> 00:26:30.960
It must react to the words you give it.
00:26:31.039 --> 00:26:32.160
It doesn't have a choice.
00:26:32.480 --> 00:26:34.000
You are the one with the choice.
00:26:34.079 --> 00:26:36.160
When you choose, I'm excited.
00:26:36.400 --> 00:26:37.519
I'm ready.
00:26:37.759 --> 00:26:42.640
I'm thrilled, I'm elated, I'm delighted rather than I'm scared, I'm terrified.
00:26:43.359 --> 00:26:46.079
I'm excited about going for an audition.
00:26:46.160 --> 00:26:47.920
I'm excited about speaking in public.
00:26:48.160 --> 00:26:50.559
I'm excited about going on a date.
00:26:50.640 --> 00:26:55.519
I'm excited, I'm thrilled about change, I'm elated, I'm delighted.
00:26:56.160 --> 00:27:00.559
The evidence-making robot is your brain will find proof that's true.
00:27:00.640 --> 00:27:10.160
And when you say I'm terrified, I'm so nervous, oh my God, I've got butterflies in my stomach, you will find evidence to make that true.
00:27:10.400 --> 00:27:17.599
Your brain looks for evidence, that's its job, and your job is to give it good evidence, solid evidence that's positive.
00:27:18.240 --> 00:27:23.519
Hoping, wishing, dreaming are evidence that this is something outside of you.
00:27:24.000 --> 00:27:28.640
I'm on it, I'm doing it, I'm actioning, is that you are doing it.
00:27:28.960 --> 00:27:30.640
No third party is required.
00:27:30.799 --> 00:27:33.200
Of course, your boss is going to give you that job.
00:27:33.440 --> 00:27:38.880
The third party is the date you're going on, but you don't need to hope or wish.
00:27:39.200 --> 00:27:42.319
You have all the power to make it work.
00:27:42.640 --> 00:27:45.519
So let's move from I can't to I can.
00:27:46.240 --> 00:27:50.079
I can't do it, I can't change, it's just the way I am.
00:27:50.240 --> 00:27:50.960
Well, that's not true.
00:27:51.039 --> 00:27:53.839
For the minute you were born, you are changing.
00:27:54.240 --> 00:28:03.279
And when you welcome change and see every change is change for the better, and say, I can, I can welcome aging, I can welcome every stage.
00:28:03.519 --> 00:28:08.319
Every stage is a dream that's dying or one that is coming to birth.
00:28:08.480 --> 00:28:12.400
When my daughter left home to go to college, I could have cried.
00:28:12.960 --> 00:28:17.759
Maybe I did a bit, but I took my four-wheel drive and bought a sports car.
00:28:18.000 --> 00:28:19.119
I thought, well, I'm free now.
00:28:19.200 --> 00:28:20.960
I love my daughter, but I'm free.
00:28:21.039 --> 00:28:24.319
I don't need to have a big car anymore to ferry around kids.
00:28:24.559 --> 00:28:28.400
Actually, she came back a lot, but it was okay.
00:28:29.680 --> 00:28:31.039
Look at your life.
00:28:31.279 --> 00:28:35.920
Every stage is a dream that's dying, or something that's coming to birth.
00:28:36.160 --> 00:28:41.200
What is the dream that's dying and what is the new thing that you are birthing?
00:28:41.440 --> 00:28:49.359
So I can to, I can't, I can do this, I can speak in public, I can let love in.
00:28:49.759 --> 00:28:51.680
I can remember stuff.
00:28:51.920 --> 00:28:59.599
You know, my daughter was very little, and I take her to school, we'd get to the game, she'd go, Mummy, but she goes, I've forgotten my swimming cause.
00:28:59.920 --> 00:29:00.880
Mummy, I've forgotten.
00:29:01.039 --> 00:29:02.400
I said, darling, what have you remembered?
00:29:02.559 --> 00:29:07.680
She goes, I remembered my swimming stuff, I remembered my book, I remembered my art.
00:29:08.880 --> 00:29:10.799
So never say, What have I forgotten?
00:29:11.039 --> 00:29:14.640
As you get to the door and turn back, say, what have I remembered?
00:29:14.720 --> 00:29:20.160
I just got I turned back for my keys, my parcel, my wallet, my phone charger.
00:29:20.799 --> 00:29:21.839
What have I remembered?
00:29:22.079 --> 00:29:23.200
Signals, I've got a great memory.
00:29:23.359 --> 00:29:24.000
What have I forgotten?
00:29:24.160 --> 00:29:26.000
Signs, I've got an awful memory.
00:29:26.240 --> 00:29:27.680
Everything is a reframe.
00:29:27.839 --> 00:29:32.160
When you reframe words, you reframe your life.
00:29:32.880 --> 00:29:41.359
So many years ago, a client came to see me and said, you know, I'm having a terrible, I've got cancer, and I cannot go in the MRI scanner.
00:29:41.440 --> 00:29:48.480
In fact, when I go in it, I get so terrified and I have a panic attack, and they've got to bring me out because I'm shaking.
00:29:48.720 --> 00:29:50.720
And in a scanner, you have to be very still.
00:29:50.799 --> 00:29:52.240
And I said, Okay, well, tell me.
00:29:52.400 --> 00:29:56.880
When you go in the scanner, you're thinking a thought.
00:29:57.279 --> 00:30:00.559
Remember, everything you feel is the thoughts you think the worse.
00:30:00.720 --> 00:30:01.759
You said, Yeah.
00:30:02.079 --> 00:30:07.279
I imagine I'm dead and I'm in the crematorium in my coffin, being cremated.
00:30:07.359 --> 00:30:16.720
I'm like, wow, well, no wonder you feel anxious because you're in a scanner going to have your body scanned, and you tell your brain, Well, I'm going to be dead soon.
00:30:16.960 --> 00:30:20.559
I'm going to be going into the crematorium in a coffin.
00:30:20.640 --> 00:30:21.759
It's going to feel just like this.
00:30:21.920 --> 00:30:27.599
Because as the scanner sloured into the machine, he compared it to being cremated.
00:30:28.160 --> 00:30:30.799
And I said, We've got to stop using that word.
00:30:31.200 --> 00:30:35.920
Why don't you say, I always want 20 minutes for myself, and here I am, I've got 20.
00:30:36.160 --> 00:30:37.119
I can lie in that scanner.
00:30:37.200 --> 00:30:40.160
I've got 20 minutes to myself, I can just lie here and chill.
00:30:40.319 --> 00:30:41.920
Or I could say, you know what?
00:30:42.400 --> 00:30:44.880
This is just like being in my bed at home.
00:30:44.960 --> 00:30:50.400
I'm so chilled, I'm just going to lie here and go to sleep for 20 minutes.
00:30:50.960 --> 00:30:57.039
And I kind of told him the different words to use the different signals to this evidence-seeking robot.
00:30:57.119 --> 00:30:59.119
Because when he said he was trapped, it looked for evidence.
00:30:59.279 --> 00:30:59.920
Get out of there.
00:31:00.000 --> 00:31:05.279
When he said, I'm so chilled I could lie here all day, that became his evidence.
00:31:05.440 --> 00:31:08.480
And actually I didn't tell him, but I was also going through cancer.
00:31:08.640 --> 00:31:12.640
When I said going through it, not sorry, going through cancer, it had an ending.
00:31:12.799 --> 00:31:15.680
And I too was going for some scans.
00:31:16.079 --> 00:31:18.400
And on my next scanning, I was lying in the machine.
00:31:18.480 --> 00:31:21.599
I thought about him, and as I thought about him, all the buzzers went off.
00:31:21.839 --> 00:31:28.079
Because I was thinking, oh yeah, imagine being in a scan, thinking, I'm I'm in my coffin, I'm just about to be cremated.
00:31:28.400 --> 00:31:29.839
My body panicked.
00:31:29.920 --> 00:31:32.480
And then I thought, no, I'm super chilled.
00:31:32.559 --> 00:31:36.319
And I I went backwards and forwards, thinking his thoughts, thinking my thoughts.
00:31:36.480 --> 00:31:39.440
Every time I thought his thoughts, all the buzzers would go off.
00:31:39.680 --> 00:31:42.400
Every time I thought my thoughts, I was very chilled.
00:31:42.720 --> 00:31:46.799
So when you think certain thoughts, you create your reality.
00:31:47.440 --> 00:31:51.839
Stop giving your mind the wrong pictures, the wrong words.
00:31:52.319 --> 00:31:55.200
When you change your words, you change your life.
00:31:55.359 --> 00:31:57.680
This is something so simple, but I really love it.
00:31:57.839 --> 00:32:01.599
When you prefix anything with my, you own it.
00:32:01.920 --> 00:32:10.160
My headache, my cancer, my greed, my bad temper, my ex, my ex is ruined my life.
00:32:10.319 --> 00:32:11.759
Well, how long you've been divorced?
00:32:11.839 --> 00:32:12.400
Twenty years.
00:32:12.480 --> 00:32:14.240
Well, he's not yours, is he?
00:32:14.400 --> 00:32:15.039
Or she.
00:32:15.519 --> 00:32:19.200
So if you do not want something, don't put my in front of it.
00:32:19.359 --> 00:32:24.319
My fat legs, my bad temper, my headaches, my migraine, my cancer.
00:32:24.640 --> 00:32:30.160
Someone wrote to me and said, you know, I've read this book, and I noticed how much I said, I've got asperges.
00:32:30.400 --> 00:32:34.319
He said, and I feel like you've given me weapons of mass transformation.
00:32:34.480 --> 00:32:36.880
I stopped saying I can't go there because of my aspergers.
00:32:36.960 --> 00:32:37.359
I can't do that.
00:32:37.839 --> 00:32:39.519
He said, I stopped saying it.
00:32:39.759 --> 00:32:40.400
And you know what?
00:32:40.480 --> 00:32:42.160
It's like I feel like I haven't got asperges.
00:32:42.400 --> 00:32:45.680
In three weeks, everything has changed because of one thing.
00:32:45.839 --> 00:32:53.440
I stopped saying my asperges and said, I'm a normal person, I can go to normal places, I can do normal stuff.
00:32:53.599 --> 00:32:57.519
Because he was telling his brain, I have asperges and all the stuff I can't do.
00:32:57.599 --> 00:33:02.559
But if I say I'm normal, look at all the stuff I can do because I'm normal.
00:33:03.039 --> 00:33:05.599
I invite you to do the same.
00:33:05.920 --> 00:33:09.119
My means you won't mean to say, hey, my gift.
00:33:09.599 --> 00:33:13.759
My gift as a therapist, my coding sort of, hey, come to my home.
00:33:14.000 --> 00:33:16.319
Me, my kids, this is my cat.
00:33:16.880 --> 00:33:20.880
But don't talk about my migraine, my headaches, my irritable bowel.
00:33:21.200 --> 00:33:29.680
And if you have something you want to be free of, call it the headache, the irritable bowel, the bad temper, the is ambiguous.
00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:31.680
My means you own it.
00:33:31.920 --> 00:33:34.480
And let's go to one more word, the word loss.
00:33:34.640 --> 00:33:40.079
People talk so much about I must lose weight, I've got to lose weight, I'm trying to lose weight.
00:33:40.400 --> 00:33:43.119
All pain is linked to the word loss.
00:33:43.359 --> 00:33:44.799
In fact, let's play a game.
00:33:44.880 --> 00:33:47.359
Tell me something great to lose.
00:33:47.599 --> 00:33:55.119
I lost my mind, I lost my memory, I lost my passport, I lost my temper, I lost my job, I lost my client, I lost the baby.
00:33:55.519 --> 00:33:58.720
You see, in ancient times loss was bad.
00:33:58.960 --> 00:34:02.000
If you lost weight, that was being ill.
00:34:02.079 --> 00:34:10.320
In fact, when I was in Africa they called this illness the going skinny, because you tended to lose weight only when you were sick.
00:34:10.559 --> 00:34:17.599
So if you want to change your weight, you can say I'm dropping weight, shedding weight, discarding weight, but don't say losing.
00:34:17.679 --> 00:34:22.079
If you close your eyes and think of the word losing, do it now with the close your eyes.
00:34:22.159 --> 00:34:26.000
Think of losing, loss, being a loser.
00:34:26.559 --> 00:34:28.480
Loser, loss, losing.
00:34:28.639 --> 00:34:29.599
It's all pain.
00:34:29.840 --> 00:34:34.239
But if you think of shedding or discarding or dropping, it's really much more ambiguous.
00:34:34.559 --> 00:34:42.320
Think of a garden shed, a snake shedding its skin, dropping a cup and it breaking, discarding something I don't want.
00:34:42.960 --> 00:34:46.800
So please don't use the word loss about weight.
00:34:47.039 --> 00:34:50.079
Gain is good, we gain state as a diploma.
00:34:50.480 --> 00:34:52.079
Loss is bad.
00:34:52.400 --> 00:34:55.440
So a lot for you to think of here, but you don't have to do all of this.
00:34:55.599 --> 00:34:56.719
Just pick the favorites.
00:34:56.960 --> 00:35:06.960
My favorites are hard becomes unfamiliar, want becomes require, pain becomes discomfort, and I am safe.
00:35:07.199 --> 00:35:10.559
I had to pick four for you, I'd pick those four.
00:35:10.639 --> 00:35:12.320
But you can pick all of them.
00:35:12.880 --> 00:35:15.599
Ask your family, hey, what do I say the most?
00:35:15.679 --> 00:35:16.559
This is hell.
00:35:16.880 --> 00:35:20.239
Oh, this is a nightmare, this is a disaster, this is driving me mad.
00:35:20.320 --> 00:35:20.880
What are you talking about?
00:35:21.039 --> 00:35:28.719
You're talking about the line in the store you went to buy some food, because you have money to buy food and people that want to eat food with you.
00:35:28.800 --> 00:35:30.480
You're talking about the commute to work.
00:35:30.559 --> 00:35:32.719
It's hell, it's a nightmare.
00:35:33.360 --> 00:35:36.159
It's actually someone else's fantasy dream.
00:35:36.320 --> 00:35:40.000
Come to you got a job, you got a car, you got money for gas.
00:35:40.159 --> 00:35:41.599
I'd love that problem.
00:35:42.320 --> 00:35:52.800
So look at what you describe and remember the way you feel about everything is down to the pictures you make in your head and the words that come out of your mouth, and you are free to change all of them.
00:35:52.880 --> 00:35:57.039
In doing that, you will change your life.
00:35:57.199 --> 00:35:57.920
And one more thing.
00:35:58.000 --> 00:35:59.119
Do you say things shortly?
00:35:59.440 --> 00:36:02.320
You never get home on time.
00:36:02.480 --> 00:36:03.679
You're always late.
00:36:03.840 --> 00:36:05.280
You always forget my birthday.
00:36:05.599 --> 00:36:07.280
You never praise me.
00:36:07.519 --> 00:36:09.119
Because that probably isn't true.
00:36:09.360 --> 00:36:10.159
Always, never.
00:36:10.239 --> 00:36:10.960
So change it.
00:36:11.599 --> 00:36:13.840
You sometimes forget my birthday.
00:36:14.079 --> 00:36:16.960
You sometimes forget to give me a compliment.
00:36:17.760 --> 00:36:22.239
But when you say always and never, you make it again permanent.
00:36:22.559 --> 00:36:25.679
And for something to get you, it has to be what I call PPP.
00:36:25.920 --> 00:36:28.239
Permanent, pervasive, personal.
00:36:28.320 --> 00:36:31.039
So let me tell you one more story, and then we'll wrap up for the day.
00:36:31.119 --> 00:36:33.920
One of my clients said, you know, my life is hell.
00:36:34.320 --> 00:36:40.639
Because my four-year-old son gets into bed with us every night, can't get him out of the bed, and it's hell.
00:36:40.719 --> 00:36:43.760
And I said, Well, first of all, it's not hell.
00:36:43.920 --> 00:36:46.960
You know, babies understand something that we forget.
00:36:47.199 --> 00:36:49.599
The more people you sleep with, the safer you are.
00:36:49.920 --> 00:36:59.679
If you see cats and mice and kittens and puppies that all sleep together, in tribal times, we all slept in a group, and the bigger the group, the safer we as the children know.
00:36:59.920 --> 00:37:03.280
If I'm on my mummy and daddy's bed, I'm safer than if I'm on my own.
00:37:03.440 --> 00:37:04.239
They feel it.
00:37:04.320 --> 00:37:06.320
It's an ancient feeling.
00:37:06.719 --> 00:37:08.719
So your kid feels safe with you.
00:37:08.880 --> 00:37:12.400
Secondly, this is not permanent, personal, or pervasive.
00:37:12.480 --> 00:37:17.440
I promise you, in 14 years that kid will not be in your bed, and you'll have new worries.
00:37:17.599 --> 00:37:18.639
Which bed is my son in?
00:37:18.800 --> 00:37:20.639
Is I hope he's having safe sex.
00:37:20.880 --> 00:37:22.960
I hope he's being responsible.
00:37:23.199 --> 00:37:26.719
So it's not permanent in 14 years, your kid will not be in your bed.
00:37:26.880 --> 00:37:29.920
In 10 years, in six years, he will not be in your bed.
00:37:30.000 --> 00:37:31.360
It's not permanent.
00:37:31.599 --> 00:37:32.719
It's not personal.
00:37:32.880 --> 00:37:36.000
All kids want to sleep with their mum and dad to feel safe.
00:37:36.239 --> 00:37:37.440
And it's not pervasive.
00:37:37.519 --> 00:37:41.760
When you're having a lovely bath, a delicious dinner, when you're out with your friends, it's not even going on.
00:37:41.920 --> 00:37:44.480
So look at your issues and ask yourself three things.
00:37:44.639 --> 00:37:45.840
Is this permanent?
00:37:46.079 --> 00:37:47.119
Personal, pervasive.
00:37:47.280 --> 00:37:48.239
My boss is hell.
00:37:48.320 --> 00:37:49.039
Is that permanent?
00:37:49.199 --> 00:37:49.440
No.
00:37:49.599 --> 00:37:50.800
I'm going to get another job.
00:37:50.880 --> 00:37:51.360
Is it personal?
00:37:51.440 --> 00:37:52.480
No, it's like that with everyone.
00:37:52.559 --> 00:37:53.280
Is it pervasive?
00:37:53.360 --> 00:38:00.079
No, when I'm having great sex with my partner or at the movies, it's not actually going on.
00:38:00.719 --> 00:38:03.679
You can change your life by changing your word.
00:38:03.920 --> 00:38:05.119
Start right now.
00:38:05.599 --> 00:38:08.719
You can change it off by saying, is this permanent, personal, pervasive?
00:38:08.800 --> 00:38:09.920
But the answer is no.
00:38:10.159 --> 00:38:10.800
Guess what?
00:38:10.960 --> 00:38:12.159
It can't hurt you.
00:38:12.320 --> 00:38:13.679
Thanks for tuning in.
00:38:13.920 --> 00:38:18.559
Please like, please follow, please subscribe, and please write to me and say, Marissa, I like that.
00:38:19.119 --> 00:38:26.639
But what I really want help with is this, because if you tell me what you want and what you need, I'll do my very best to give it to you.
00:38:26.880 --> 00:38:28.719
Like, subscribe, share.
00:38:29.440 --> 00:38:30.559
Thanks for tuning in.
00:38:30.800 --> 00:38:31.360
Love you.
00:38:31.599 --> 00:38:32.480
See you next time.
