WEBVTT
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Welcome to What She Does, the podcast that takes
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you inside the working lives of everyday women
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shaping the world around us. I'm Leigh Ann Starr.
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And I'm Annie Sendinger. And each week we sit
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down with someone who shows us not just what
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she does, but how and why she does it. Plus,
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find out if you fit the same mold to grab the
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same type of gig. Let's discover What She Does,
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starting now. We're talking with someone who
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spends her days sitting with people in the middle
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of their hardest moments. Alexa Servodidio, a
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licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist
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with her own private practice. Alexa works with
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individuals, couples, and families, kids and
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adults alike on anxiety, trauma, PTSD, and the
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harder conversations around relationships and
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abuse. She trained at Fordham for her master's
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in social work and later completed advanced postgraduate
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work in psychoanalysis and couples therapy. She's
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also EMDR trained, a technique we get into today
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that might change how you think about how trauma
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actually gets stored in the body. But what stayed
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with us most is how she got here. She was one
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semester from law school. when a single field
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placement changed everything. Today we have Alexa
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Servididio, who is a psychotherapist and social
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worker. So hi, Alexa. Hi, thank you so much for
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having me. So tell me a little bit, how did you
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become a psychotherapist? Well, I was finishing
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up my last year in college. I had a major in
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criminal justice. I was planning on becoming
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a lawyer. The last semester of school, they put
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me in my field work in a local mental health
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hospital in the area. I did my last semester
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there. I worked on the women's issues unit. And
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by the end of that semester, I said, I'm not
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going to law school. I want to be a therapist
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I want to be a social worker and I want to work
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in mental health I just it inspired me and I
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just loved the work and working with clients
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What was it about that experience? Like did you
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meet people that like spurred this in you or
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or what happened? Yes on that unit. There are
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just so many different degrees of of trauma chronic
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mental illness addiction different age groups
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and it really It was fascinating. It was intriguing.
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And I've always been very interested in how the
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mind works and what makes people do what they
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do. So I figured this is just so incredible.
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And also really being able to sit down and speak
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to people to really realize what they've gone
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through in their life and how important it is
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to have someone there to support you, to be there
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to listen to you, and have someone just be there
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for you. Then it was just a question of you continue
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your schooling or? Yes, I went for my master's
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in social work at Fordham University in New York
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City and just all the different internships each
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semester. I worked with all different types of
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population, chronic mental illness. I worked
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also with children in the foster care system
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who have had sexually acting out behaviors, violent
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behaviors. And part of my work was being a caseworker
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and checking on them and seeing how they're doing
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and just helping them start to rehabilitate and
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get back on some sort of path forward. I also
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did a lot of internship and work in a domestic
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violence agency. So I've worked with a lot of
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high risk and trauma during my years of getting
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my master's in social work. And now I'm assuming
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you have... a much more quiet clientele. Exactly.
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Yes, I'm in private practice now and my specialties
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are domestic violence, sexual abuse, trauma,
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addiction, anxiety, and I work with children,
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adults, families, individuals. I'm also EMDR
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trained. That's eye movement desensitization
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reprocessing. which is a game changer for any
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type of trauma, anxiety, addiction, all of that.
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So I really, you know, I have a very heavy, heavy
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caseload, a lot of crisis, but I really love
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the work that I do and I've been seeing incredible
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results. So it's really, really life changing
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in all, in all areas. Wow. I did not realize.
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So EMDR has been sort of accepted in the psychotherapy
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community. Yes. Yes. Finally, after how many
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years it's been accepted and a lot of clients
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really are not familiar with it. So until I really
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start doing the work with my clients, they all
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have said, why has that not been around since
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I was younger? We should be all doing it as children,
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as adults, because we really don't have control
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of what gets stuck. What's kind of that disconnect
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with maybe different scenarios that's happened
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in our life where we're like, okay. It is what
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it is. But our mind and our body go into fight,
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flight, or freeze. And subconsciously, consciously,
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we're stuck. And that lens is leading our lives,
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is leading our decisions. And sometimes we don't
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even know that it was something that happened
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in second grade on the playground. Alexa, can
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you talk a little bit or explain a little bit?
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Because I'm not familiar with what EMDR is. Sure,
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EMDR. Well, it's about the bilateral movement
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of left to right. It is where you can either
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do it on your shoulders, on your knees, or I
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have an actual light machine, some therapists
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use their arm, but it's the bilateral movement
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from left to right that reprocesses stuck thoughts,
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emotions, scenarios, where talk therapy, when
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we do it, just goes in a circle, goes in a circle.
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Why can't I just get, oh, why isn't it not clicking?
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But something about the physicality, like in
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REM sleep, when our eyes are going back and forth,
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the mind is picking and pruning what to keep,
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what to get away, what to throw out. EMDR is
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the same, it breaks that barrier. So we reprocess
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that stuck thought, that stuck feeling, the trauma
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that's always living right here, it moves it
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away from us. So it's not in our eye lens to
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say all the time, we're not seeing it all the
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time. So we reprocess the different scenarios.
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I always say, if someone came into my office
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who had a fear of snakes, I would ask them, what
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is the worst scenario? What's your worst fear?
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I was bitten by a snake. I was dying. It was
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painful. I couldn't get help. What is the negative
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cognition? What does it say? I am not safe. The
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world is not safe. I am unlovable. I'm helpless.
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I'm powerless. Where do you feel that in your
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body? and zero not disturbing, 10 the most. When
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you think about that snake biting you, what is
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it? Then we start the reprocessing, the left
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and right, and once we reduce it down to a zero,
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twice, and we clear the body of any blockage,
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we've cleared that memory. Interesting. I didn't
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even realize it. I think I've seen it being used
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like... Television movies or something, but I
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didn't actually know that's what it was called.
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So thank you for for that explanation Absolutely
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And so how long have you been in private practice?
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I've been in private practice about 15 years
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now Okay And so What do you find does it take
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up a lot of your time? Is it like people coming
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where where's your office is in your house? I
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do telehealth and I'm back in the office some
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days a week. So I do in -person and telehealth.
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And I have a huge telehealth caseload and then
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more people now want to start coming back into
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the office. But sometimes it's just, you know,
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getting in the car, driving there in between
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sessions, which is sometimes, okay, give me a
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couple of minutes. I'm pulling in, but it's busy.
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But I find some people are just telehealth people.
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Some people want in -person, but it works both
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ways. Do you feel that it's easier to connect
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with people in person than doing telehealth?
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Telehealth is fine too. Even with new clients,
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especially during COVID, I had a lot of new clients
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that I never met in person. But even those that
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I have had in person, it's been the same. Once
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a couple of times, of course they get over, we're
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not in the same room, they can see me through
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Zoom, they start to realize that I'm not. I'm
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not looking the other way. I'm not cleaning my
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house as I'm on the phone with them or typing
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on the computer. I'm really one -on -one watching
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them and I can hear them. So tell me like, for
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you, what has been in your many years of being
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a psychotherapist, what has been the most rewarding?
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Someone start as a client, feeling that They're
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just so hopeless and helpless and not feeling
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like there's joy in their life. So I do a lot
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of complex trauma. So sometimes the history of
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abuse and trauma and loss that they've had in
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their life, you're like, wow, how can this person
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carry this by themselves? Where is that light?
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And to realize that I can help them be lighter
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and lighter and get them to that path is so empowering.
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And a lot of my clients will say, you're so enthusiastic.
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You're so sure of what you're doing. How do you
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know I'm going to be that one client that it's
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never going to work? I said, well, I think everybody
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has a chance. I don't think anybody is too far
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gone. As long as you want to show up and say,
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I don't have the answers, but let's try. I'll
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do the best I can. You don't have to be perfect
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and you don't have to be happy. You could just
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show up and be yourself. That's half the work.
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Have you had a patient who is too far gone or
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did not come around who was? Few that have been
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actively using and had and when I was in person
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and had come in extremely intoxicating and Also
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off their medication. So they were very delusional
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at the same time So obviously I can't work with
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some I can't work with someone like that until
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they're stabilized So they would have to be hospitalized
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immediately and get back on their medication
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and back to a state where at least they're somewhat
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coherent to have therapy. And if they choose
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to come back, I always tell them, my door is
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always open. I will be with you while you're
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inpatient. I will call you. You can call me.
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The treatment providers there can always have
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full contact. I don't close the door and say,
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that's it. I always tell people, once you're
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in my appointment book, even 20 years later,
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You can still call me and say, can I come back?
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Of course you can. I'll always put you in somewhere.
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That's great. Um, when someone comes in and they're
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delusional and having issues and they're on drugs,
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I mean, do you call the hospital? What happens?
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Yes. I've had to call the hospital a lot. I've
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had to call the EMS and also I always let my
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client know. Even, you know, I had a client come
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in and he was. extremely intoxicated, has a very
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violent history and delusional at the same time,
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and has a big anger and fear towards authority,
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especially, you know, police officers. And this
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was many years ago. And I explained to him, I
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said, listen, because he had cut his arms, he
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had hurt himself. So I was able to work with
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him and say, listen, did you go to urgent care?
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Because I see you, I know what he did to his
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arm. I said, it seems like you might have fallen
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or something happened to your arm. It looks infected.
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Did you go to urgent care? And he said, yes.
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And I said, well, maybe they did their best,
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but I think there's an infection and I'm worried
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about you. Do you mind if I call EMS, but EMS
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is going to come. Policemen are going to come
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and they're going to be kind of, everyone's going
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to come running in because we're all worried
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about you. But if I speak to them and I make
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sure I let them know that you're going to be
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safe and we're going to do this. You know, how
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does that sound to you? Do you trust me? And
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he said, yes, as long as you let them know that
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I don't want them to physically hurt me. I said,
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absolutely. So, you know, as, as I had to call
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EMS and about 20 policemen came, EMS came and
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this individual was well known in the community.
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So they were, they were, they were concerned
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for their safety, but also for mine because I
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was the only one in the office. It was on a weekend
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and I had to let them know, listen, He's inside.
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I know this is out of my scope of practice, but
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I have a safety contract with him. Can we please
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go in there and do the best we can? And obviously,
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if you don't think it's safe, you guys have authority
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over me. But this is what I've set up, and he's
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agreed. And they half -heartedly said, OK, but
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you have to stand back. And I said, of course
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I will. But just let him see me, and let me speak
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to him. And they came in. It worked out well,
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and he left calmly with them and was in his hospital
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lots. It took a while, but everybody kind of
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just came out slowly, because I think, you know,
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as I told him, I said, come in. He's around 10
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right now, and he's delusional and under the
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influence. It doesn't have to go this way. Have
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you ever been praying for your own physical safety?
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Yes, a few times, yes. Yes, and it's, you know,
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a lot of just really speaking with the client
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and hoping I can get in between the delusions
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and whatever substance they're on and let them
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realize, especially, you know, the two clients
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I've been seeing for a long time, who they had
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trusted me when they weren't delusional. So I
00:15:15.059 --> 00:15:18.399
was able to kind of get in between the delusions
00:15:18.399 --> 00:15:20.360
and say, listen, we've been working together
00:15:20.360 --> 00:15:23.059
for five years. We've worked on this, we've worked
00:15:23.059 --> 00:15:25.769
on this. I know these voices are telling you
00:15:25.769 --> 00:15:29.049
that I'm not a good person or to lash out on
00:15:29.049 --> 00:15:31.830
me. Let's do the counting. Let's try to shut
00:15:31.830 --> 00:15:34.929
it out. Let's try to do this. And by God's grace,
00:15:34.929 --> 00:15:37.049
it's worked. Couple of times I wasn't sure it
00:15:37.049 --> 00:15:39.289
was going to work, but they allowed me to leave
00:15:39.289 --> 00:15:45.889
the room. Wow. I was going to ask, you know,
00:15:45.970 --> 00:15:49.129
obviously your job is quite flexible in terms
00:15:49.129 --> 00:15:52.970
of hours and things like that. When you have
00:15:52.970 --> 00:15:57.309
situations where you are sort of concerned for
00:15:57.309 --> 00:15:59.769
your own physical safety dealing with clients,
00:16:00.250 --> 00:16:03.169
how does that impact your family life? Like,
00:16:03.330 --> 00:16:06.230
because you mentioned earlier, you have a young
00:16:06.230 --> 00:16:10.210
child. Yes, it is sometimes concerning. And,
00:16:10.330 --> 00:16:13.490
you know, my daughter, my child, she knows, obviously,
00:16:13.710 --> 00:16:15.629
what I do for a living. She doesn't know any,
00:16:15.990 --> 00:16:18.190
like who my clients are, anything like that.
00:16:18.680 --> 00:16:21.019
But I have said, listen, if we are ever out in
00:16:21.019 --> 00:16:24.480
public or if someone approaches us and I said,
00:16:24.480 --> 00:16:27.200
okay, let's just let's say hello and I know we
00:16:27.200 --> 00:16:29.500
have to go somewhere or maybe we were going to
00:16:29.500 --> 00:16:31.320
sit down in a restaurant or we were going to
00:16:31.320 --> 00:16:32.659
stay somewhere. And I said, no, no, no, we have
00:16:32.659 --> 00:16:35.519
to go. I said, there's a reason. I know you're
00:16:35.519 --> 00:16:38.559
young and doesn't make sense. I said, but this
00:16:38.559 --> 00:16:41.379
is, this is what it has to be. You know, and
00:16:41.379 --> 00:16:43.759
nowadays people can find out everything about
00:16:43.759 --> 00:16:48.440
you on Google. So, you know, I do worry a little
00:16:48.440 --> 00:16:51.519
bit here and there, but I pray about it and say
00:16:51.519 --> 00:16:54.480
the best I can do and hopefully, you know, I
00:16:54.480 --> 00:16:56.940
work with a lot of different types. So hoping
00:16:56.940 --> 00:16:59.679
that they realize to take care of themselves.
00:16:59.879 --> 00:17:01.879
But yes, it's definitely something that kind
00:17:01.879 --> 00:17:06.579
of sit and weigh on my mind at times. Yeah. That's
00:17:06.579 --> 00:17:09.579
heavy. That's very heavy. Then how do you take
00:17:09.579 --> 00:17:16.950
care of yourself? Like you absorb a lot of emotions
00:17:16.950 --> 00:17:20.130
and tension from others, how do you take care
00:17:20.130 --> 00:17:24.230
of yourself because of what you do? I'm also
00:17:24.230 --> 00:17:29.410
an aerobics instructor, so I love fitness. When
00:17:29.410 --> 00:17:32.250
I was training to go to school, I was a fitness
00:17:32.250 --> 00:17:34.950
instructor, so I taught a lot of classes. I teach
00:17:34.950 --> 00:17:37.670
aerobics, I do my own workouts, I go for walks.
00:17:38.230 --> 00:17:44.000
I love the beach, going to movies, resting. Sleeping
00:17:44.000 --> 00:17:46.359
as I always say I'm the type of person that needs
00:17:46.359 --> 00:17:49.519
like eight hours of sleep Just trying to do that.
00:17:49.779 --> 00:17:54.359
You're spending time with my family Helps you
00:17:54.359 --> 00:17:58.539
decompress. Yes. Yes Everybody needs a stress
00:17:58.539 --> 00:18:02.579
reliever, right? Yeah, and so what has been the
00:18:02.579 --> 00:18:07.359
most rewarding? Case that you bet on I also wrote
00:18:07.359 --> 00:18:13.170
two books and my second book One of my clients
00:18:13.170 --> 00:18:16.990
that I had many years ago inspired me to write
00:18:16.990 --> 00:18:21.789
it. And she actually was like, you need to write
00:18:21.789 --> 00:18:25.329
a book on the way you do therapy. She had been
00:18:25.329 --> 00:18:29.089
in the mental health field as a patient for all
00:18:29.089 --> 00:18:32.029
of her life. She was about in her thirties when
00:18:32.029 --> 00:18:36.789
I met with her a while back. And very severe,
00:18:36.789 --> 00:18:40.329
a lot of suicide attempts. That was something
00:18:40.329 --> 00:18:44.930
that would happen. You never knew. And many therapists
00:18:44.930 --> 00:18:47.809
will not take on a client who's actively suicidal
00:18:47.809 --> 00:18:50.269
because it's, you know, because of safety issues
00:18:50.269 --> 00:18:53.250
and liability issues and all of that. And she
00:18:53.250 --> 00:18:56.150
had come to me and we had spoken about it and
00:18:56.150 --> 00:18:59.109
she was very honest. And we did a lot of work
00:18:59.109 --> 00:19:01.289
about safety contracting, you know, and she,
00:19:01.549 --> 00:19:03.869
she said, I'm not going to ever contract with
00:19:03.869 --> 00:19:07.269
you that it'll never happen. I can't tell you
00:19:07.269 --> 00:19:10.710
I'm not going to do it. But if I'm planning on
00:19:10.710 --> 00:19:16.029
doing it, I'll let you know So it was it was
00:19:16.029 --> 00:19:18.710
it was it was a tough in the beginning was very
00:19:18.710 --> 00:19:23.190
very tough But there were times where she's like
00:19:23.190 --> 00:19:26.769
listen This this is probably what's gonna happen
00:19:26.769 --> 00:19:29.450
and this is how I'm feeling We contracted and
00:19:29.450 --> 00:19:32.269
hadn't you know, she had even attempted in hospitals
00:19:32.269 --> 00:19:35.750
and almost succeeded So she was she was on that
00:19:35.750 --> 00:19:39.029
path at that time that this is something that
00:19:39.029 --> 00:19:41.329
was going to probably be a definite outcome in
00:19:41.329 --> 00:19:45.390
her life. But after years of working with her
00:19:45.390 --> 00:19:50.309
and really just being there with her, she had
00:19:50.309 --> 00:19:53.589
me coin certain terms of the work that we did.
00:19:54.150 --> 00:19:57.410
And one of them is the nesting place. And through
00:19:57.410 --> 00:20:01.730
her background as a child, she never had to chance
00:20:01.730 --> 00:20:06.250
to be a person. It sounds strange, but she didn't
00:20:06.519 --> 00:20:09.160
We even think that anybody should ever acknowledge
00:20:09.160 --> 00:20:11.579
her. No one should see her. Why would anyone
00:20:11.579 --> 00:20:14.160
say hello to her? She doesn't exist. There's
00:20:14.160 --> 00:20:16.579
nothing important about her. Why would anyone
00:20:16.579 --> 00:20:19.759
want to even have anything to do with her? And
00:20:19.759 --> 00:20:23.039
she would then take on the personalities of the
00:20:23.039 --> 00:20:25.220
different therapists. So then she could have
00:20:25.220 --> 00:20:28.880
an identity. You would like her. So she would
00:20:28.880 --> 00:20:32.200
always come in and ask questions. And I wouldn't
00:20:32.200 --> 00:20:34.359
ask, I wouldn't answer. And I said, I'm not being
00:20:34.359 --> 00:20:38.079
mean. I want you. I don't want you to be me.
00:20:38.380 --> 00:20:40.140
I want, I want to know you. And she goes, but
00:20:40.140 --> 00:20:42.400
I don't know what I want. I don't know who I
00:20:42.400 --> 00:20:44.460
am. I said, but that's what we're going to practice.
00:20:45.519 --> 00:20:48.039
We're going to practice like coffee. Do you like
00:20:48.039 --> 00:20:50.259
tea? Do you like to go to the supermarket in
00:20:50.259 --> 00:20:52.440
the morning? Do you like flowers? Do you like
00:20:52.440 --> 00:20:55.740
this? And I want you. So we did little small
00:20:55.740 --> 00:20:57.839
steps where every day she said, why am I doing
00:20:57.839 --> 00:21:00.359
this? I said, go and see if you like it or not.
00:21:00.460 --> 00:21:02.180
That's all I want to know. And then come back.
00:21:02.480 --> 00:21:04.940
And this is how we're going to, this is who you
00:21:04.940 --> 00:21:07.180
are. And she said, it doesn't make a difference.
00:21:07.180 --> 00:21:09.319
I said, yes, it does. You like to look at flowers?
00:21:09.359 --> 00:21:11.880
You don't like coffee. You don't like mornings.
00:21:12.099 --> 00:21:15.019
You like to read. You like the color blue. And
00:21:15.019 --> 00:21:18.619
years of building her identity and who she is.
00:21:19.079 --> 00:21:22.480
And it took years. And that's when she moved
00:21:22.480 --> 00:21:26.380
to another state. She travels. She's got a job
00:21:26.380 --> 00:21:30.460
now. She's in a relationship at one point. And
00:21:30.460 --> 00:21:35.039
she said, you have to write a book on this. And
00:21:35.039 --> 00:21:36.539
the way you do therapy, she said, I've been in
00:21:36.539 --> 00:21:39.579
the mental health field my whole life. Not any
00:21:39.579 --> 00:21:42.759
therapist has approached me like this. And she
00:21:42.759 --> 00:21:47.980
hadn't been suicidal about the therapy. That's
00:21:47.980 --> 00:21:53.119
amazing. That is really amazing. I wanted to
00:21:53.119 --> 00:21:55.980
ask you, because definitions help me understand.
00:21:56.839 --> 00:22:00.339
You mentioned safety contract. And I kind of
00:22:00.339 --> 00:22:02.319
want to understand a little bit more, because
00:22:02.319 --> 00:22:05.289
you mentioned it. a couple times now and wanted
00:22:05.289 --> 00:22:07.690
to understand exactly what a safety contract
00:22:07.690 --> 00:22:12.329
is. Sure, that I do with most clients, but definitely
00:22:12.329 --> 00:22:17.289
if a client has a history of cutting behaviors,
00:22:17.650 --> 00:22:22.869
self -harm behaviors, harming themselves, harming
00:22:22.869 --> 00:22:26.910
others, at -risk type of behaviors. So I would
00:22:26.910 --> 00:22:30.910
ask them, how would I know you were having more
00:22:30.910 --> 00:22:34.339
than a bad day? How would you know you were having
00:22:34.339 --> 00:22:37.460
more than a bad day? And we would work on those.
00:22:37.759 --> 00:22:41.299
We would put those in the safety contract. What
00:22:41.299 --> 00:22:45.759
should I say? Wow. Jane isn't doing well today.
00:22:46.099 --> 00:22:49.759
I should call EMS. How would, what would you
00:22:49.759 --> 00:22:52.339
say I should? And we would put together this
00:22:52.339 --> 00:22:56.920
contract. What are some things you could do that
00:22:56.920 --> 00:23:00.720
would help? Read a book, make a therapy appointment,
00:23:00.859 --> 00:23:03.940
go to the hospital. Go work out. Who would you
00:23:03.940 --> 00:23:07.900
want me to call? Call my mom. Call my psychiatrist.
00:23:07.980 --> 00:23:13.259
Call my best friend. Don't call this one. And
00:23:13.259 --> 00:23:15.660
if I have to call EMS, which is understandable,
00:23:16.799 --> 00:23:19.119
I do, you know, zero, I'm not going to act on
00:23:19.119 --> 00:23:23.819
something. Ten I am. Do you have a plan if you're
00:23:23.819 --> 00:23:26.940
going to hurt yourself or somebody else? Anything
00:23:26.940 --> 00:23:30.259
around five, I have to call. Five or six, I have
00:23:30.259 --> 00:23:32.809
to... I have to know to focus on one. That's
00:23:32.809 --> 00:23:35.589
my duty. It's nothing personal. And I tell people,
00:23:35.589 --> 00:23:38.390
I have to report it. I'm a mandated reporter,
00:23:38.730 --> 00:23:40.690
but I will always let you know. I won't just
00:23:40.690 --> 00:23:42.950
let someone say, okay. I'll let someone show
00:23:42.950 --> 00:23:44.630
up at your door and you're totally blindsided.
00:23:44.970 --> 00:23:47.769
I will be with you the whole call and the whole
00:23:47.769 --> 00:23:51.670
time. The authorities have to be there. And then
00:23:51.670 --> 00:23:54.309
which hospital would you like to go to? What's
00:23:54.309 --> 00:23:56.630
your preference of what hospital you would want
00:23:56.630 --> 00:24:00.049
them to take you to? Wow, so it's basically like
00:24:00.049 --> 00:24:04.829
a plan of how to react in certain types of situations
00:24:04.829 --> 00:24:08.509
Yes, which is great To have something like that
00:24:08.509 --> 00:24:12.230
that helps both you and the client sort of understand
00:24:12.230 --> 00:24:15.990
where they're at and how to address it So wow,
00:24:16.369 --> 00:24:18.690
I never knew that there were things like that.
00:24:18.690 --> 00:24:22.950
So thank you. You're welcome I was thinking some
00:24:22.950 --> 00:24:27.099
of these people I'm guessing You're being paid
00:24:27.099 --> 00:24:32.000
not directly by them, but by, like, government
00:24:32.000 --> 00:24:37.319
or insurance or... I do have, you know... Really?
00:24:38.019 --> 00:24:42.079
Basically, all of my clients are voluntary. They've
00:24:42.079 --> 00:24:45.619
chosen to come. Hmm. Yes. Which is incredible.
00:24:46.700 --> 00:24:49.380
Yeah, that is incredible. They've all chosen
00:24:49.380 --> 00:24:53.299
to come. And they come often. They come and...
00:24:53.259 --> 00:24:55.940
Most of them don't really, you know, one or two,
00:24:56.119 --> 00:24:58.759
that's just their thing about being late or last
00:24:58.759 --> 00:25:01.880
minute cancellations, but most of them show up.
00:25:03.039 --> 00:25:06.319
Wow. I'm shocked, actually. I was like, oh, this
00:25:06.319 --> 00:25:10.140
has to be, you know, you have to deal with, like,
00:25:10.279 --> 00:25:13.359
government pay and what they're doing and, you
00:25:13.359 --> 00:25:16.259
know, the nonsense from that, but I guess not.
00:25:17.079 --> 00:25:18.960
Just insurance companies. Sometimes they take
00:25:18.960 --> 00:25:22.700
too long to pay, but that's insurance companies.
00:25:23.180 --> 00:25:25.940
I would think that's really complicated and it's
00:25:25.940 --> 00:25:29.000
a pain, or maybe I'm wrong, but it just seems
00:25:29.000 --> 00:25:34.720
like that's not a great way to get paid. No.
00:25:34.940 --> 00:25:38.720
I've actually had to hire a biller to submit
00:25:38.720 --> 00:25:42.660
my billing for me because the insurance companies
00:25:42.660 --> 00:25:46.119
deny everything. Plus I would spend, some weeks
00:25:46.119 --> 00:25:50.099
I see 60 clients a week. So to submit - Wow.
00:25:50.920 --> 00:25:53.180
And billing is impossible. Like it's, you have
00:25:53.180 --> 00:25:56.380
to fill out a lot of this. Now everything's computerized.
00:25:56.400 --> 00:25:59.740
And they can deny like, I put the wrong initial
00:25:59.740 --> 00:26:03.799
or something. And then it's another 30, 60 days
00:26:03.799 --> 00:26:06.079
to appeal it until they have to, till you can
00:26:06.079 --> 00:26:09.599
get paid. So some insurance companies will pay
00:26:09.599 --> 00:26:13.140
14 days. Some will pay 35. Some will pay every
00:26:13.140 --> 00:26:17.259
60 days. That's really the only downfall is the
00:26:17.259 --> 00:26:20.559
insurance companies. You know, I have my biller,
00:26:20.579 --> 00:26:23.839
so I submit to her. And then now some insurance
00:26:23.839 --> 00:26:28.140
companies pay by virtual cards. So you have to
00:26:28.140 --> 00:26:32.700
have your own credit card and key fob or whatever
00:26:32.700 --> 00:26:37.180
it is. And then you get charged for collecting
00:26:37.180 --> 00:26:40.059
your own money. And sometimes you get charged
00:26:40.059 --> 00:26:43.559
for asking for your own EOBs, Explanations of
00:26:43.559 --> 00:26:45.819
Benefits, of what clients you're getting paid
00:26:45.819 --> 00:26:49.269
for. So I could get 60 things. And if I want
00:26:49.269 --> 00:26:51.730
to say, is that Jane Doe's or Michael's list,
00:26:51.849 --> 00:26:55.130
I have to pay for it. And then in order for it
00:26:55.130 --> 00:26:57.650
to deposit it, I have to pay for that with my
00:26:57.650 --> 00:27:04.009
own money. That's a very complicated system.
00:27:04.289 --> 00:27:07.549
I'm sure it's one of many things that are going
00:27:07.549 --> 00:27:13.069
on in terms of issues regarding this field. I
00:27:13.069 --> 00:27:17.569
did a little research. I wanted to find out a
00:27:17.569 --> 00:27:21.069
little bit about specifically, because if you
00:27:21.069 --> 00:27:27.029
have 60 clients at a time, that is a lot of clientele
00:27:27.029 --> 00:27:30.490
and a lot of time, which then sort of speaks
00:27:30.490 --> 00:27:35.990
to the demand that's happening. And would you
00:27:35.990 --> 00:27:40.880
say that from your experience, Like there seems
00:27:40.880 --> 00:27:44.359
to be like a mismatch between sort of the amount
00:27:44.359 --> 00:27:47.480
of demand and the available people that are able
00:27:47.480 --> 00:27:53.259
to help the demand. Also, a lot of therapists
00:27:53.259 --> 00:27:57.920
for a long time won't take insurance. I did not
00:27:57.920 --> 00:28:01.119
know that. Don't take insurance against all the
00:28:01.119 --> 00:28:05.500
issues. But my pop, a lot of my population, and
00:28:05.500 --> 00:28:08.140
then they charge three to four hundred dollars
00:28:08.140 --> 00:28:11.430
a session. Some areas, I guess you can do that,
00:28:12.509 --> 00:28:15.710
but most people can't pay that. So that's one
00:28:15.710 --> 00:28:18.950
thing I think, you know, and also a lot of times
00:28:18.950 --> 00:28:22.690
people are not specialized in certain areas or
00:28:22.690 --> 00:28:25.450
population or they don't want to work with that
00:28:25.450 --> 00:28:28.009
population. So that's always really tough. And
00:28:28.009 --> 00:28:30.869
I, a lot of times clients will reach out to me
00:28:30.869 --> 00:28:34.210
and say, you're the only person who ever responded.
00:28:34.529 --> 00:28:37.750
I emailed 20 therapists. You're the only one.
00:28:37.890 --> 00:28:43.099
And I'll say, Listen, I'm booked, but I couldn't
00:28:43.099 --> 00:28:44.960
have, especially if someone leaves me a message
00:28:44.960 --> 00:28:47.000
that they're in a desperate state or their child.
00:28:47.319 --> 00:28:49.559
I can't knowingly just say, I'm not going to
00:28:49.559 --> 00:28:52.279
call them back, but I don't have any room. I
00:28:52.279 --> 00:28:53.839
will call them back, which means they're deaf.
00:28:54.059 --> 00:28:56.359
I'm somehow squishing them into my schedule and
00:28:56.359 --> 00:28:58.660
say, I'll get you in. I probably can't do it
00:28:58.660 --> 00:29:00.119
in person because that's a little bit hard for
00:29:00.119 --> 00:29:02.900
me to get to with my schedule, but I will get
00:29:02.900 --> 00:29:04.900
you into a consultate. We'll figure something
00:29:04.900 --> 00:29:09.539
out. How much of your practice is telehealth
00:29:09.539 --> 00:29:14.039
versus in person? I would say about 80 % is telehealth.
00:29:14.680 --> 00:29:20.440
Wow, that's a lot. Which I'm sure was kind of
00:29:20.440 --> 00:29:23.440
because of COVID because people couldn't like
00:29:23.440 --> 00:29:28.640
meet in person. And we're trying to change it
00:29:28.640 --> 00:29:33.579
now. They have such severe anxiety and other
00:29:33.579 --> 00:29:35.279
things. They're not going to leave the house.
00:29:36.200 --> 00:29:38.640
thing about COVID is a lot of people came to
00:29:38.640 --> 00:29:40.880
therapy that would have never come to therapy.
00:29:42.400 --> 00:29:46.079
They're not going to come into the office, but
00:29:46.079 --> 00:29:48.519
they'll show up all the time for telehealth.
00:29:50.400 --> 00:29:57.680
That's amazing. Has AI impacted the way you do
00:29:57.680 --> 00:30:01.319
things now in any way? I do have a lot of clients
00:30:01.319 --> 00:30:07.180
that look up everything on AI. And it seems like
00:30:07.180 --> 00:30:10.099
it's a friend. It seems like, and somehow AI
00:30:10.099 --> 00:30:15.500
remembers. Like, so if I go in and say, can someone
00:30:15.500 --> 00:30:21.500
get SSI and SSD at the age 45 and have a part
00:30:21.500 --> 00:30:24.079
-time job? Is that applicable? They'll give me
00:30:24.079 --> 00:30:26.660
an answer. Then I'll go back two weeks later,
00:30:27.099 --> 00:30:30.640
totally different clients say, my client wants
00:30:30.640 --> 00:30:33.779
SSI. How long does it take? Well, if you're talking
00:30:33.779 --> 00:30:37.720
about the client that has SSI and SSD, then I'm
00:30:37.720 --> 00:30:43.160
like, no, these are two different. Of course,
00:30:43.180 --> 00:30:46.359
I don't put any identifying information in the
00:30:46.359 --> 00:30:49.440
computer or anything, but I'm wondering for some
00:30:49.440 --> 00:30:52.680
people if that is almost like a friend or if
00:30:52.680 --> 00:30:55.039
that's almost like, because they found a lot
00:30:55.039 --> 00:30:57.380
of times, especially children and young adults,
00:30:57.839 --> 00:31:01.400
actually having conversations with AI. and thought
00:31:01.400 --> 00:31:04.519
it must be really real. So that I'm thinking
00:31:04.519 --> 00:31:06.779
in the future is probably going to be an issue.
00:31:07.900 --> 00:31:10.539
Yeah. What is kind of scary is we've already
00:31:10.539 --> 00:31:14.640
had reports of a couple of suicide because the
00:31:14.640 --> 00:31:18.440
chat GPT or whatever encourages them like, yeah,
00:31:18.440 --> 00:31:21.740
you should do it. And you're like, what the hell?
00:31:23.079 --> 00:31:26.259
It's like, don't get your therapy from a robot.
00:31:26.960 --> 00:31:30.980
But yeah, but hopefully. You will not have much
00:31:30.980 --> 00:31:37.180
of a complication. Yes. Yes. Because it's scary.
00:31:38.859 --> 00:31:41.900
I have a last question for you. I'm just kind
00:31:41.900 --> 00:31:46.619
of curious. Knowing what you know now, having
00:31:46.619 --> 00:31:50.359
experienced all this, changed jobs from being
00:31:50.359 --> 00:31:54.940
a potential lawyer to the social work and psychotherapy
00:31:54.940 --> 00:31:57.460
that you do. What would you tell your younger
00:31:57.460 --> 00:32:03.529
self? I would say keep following what your gut
00:32:03.529 --> 00:32:07.230
tells you. And even though everybody else is
00:32:07.230 --> 00:32:10.009
saying, you have to pick one thing. You have
00:32:10.009 --> 00:32:12.309
to choose one thing. You can't, because I do
00:32:12.309 --> 00:32:14.670
a lot of different types of careers too. And
00:32:14.670 --> 00:32:16.670
I've always been interested in so many things
00:32:16.670 --> 00:32:18.569
and everyone said, you've got to pick one. So
00:32:18.569 --> 00:32:21.569
I always felt like I was trying to always prove
00:32:21.569 --> 00:32:24.509
to everyone why I'm making this choice and why
00:32:24.509 --> 00:32:28.269
this. I just say, you know what, trust your gut.
00:32:28.569 --> 00:32:31.819
You can figure this out. Yes, you're going to
00:32:31.819 --> 00:32:33.680
be a trailblazer and it might not make sense
00:32:33.680 --> 00:32:36.519
to other people, but that's okay. Just keep doing
00:32:36.519 --> 00:32:38.920
the best you can and encourage others to do what
00:32:38.920 --> 00:32:42.460
they can. That's how we all find out who we are.
00:32:44.460 --> 00:32:47.740
That's wonderful advice. Thank you so much for
00:32:47.740 --> 00:32:50.299
being on our show. Thank you so much for having
00:32:50.299 --> 00:33:05.359
me. I have so many thoughts about psychotherapy
00:33:05.359 --> 00:33:11.740
in general. For a long time, I didn't believe
00:33:11.740 --> 00:33:14.839
in doing it. I think it's probably cultural.
00:33:16.220 --> 00:33:20.140
I think it's cultural. So, you know, my family
00:33:20.140 --> 00:33:22.680
background, we don't do that stuff. We don't
00:33:22.680 --> 00:33:28.230
go see people. In fact, my cousin had sort of
00:33:28.230 --> 00:33:32.349
a nervous breakdown way back when, right out
00:33:32.349 --> 00:33:37.809
of college. And he did not get any help and became
00:33:37.809 --> 00:33:42.089
a shut -in. And so he was like that for many,
00:33:42.170 --> 00:33:47.869
many years. I do see the value in it. I think
00:33:47.869 --> 00:33:55.319
that people should if they need help and My family's
00:33:55.319 --> 00:33:57.880
been touched with some other types of trauma
00:33:57.880 --> 00:34:02.779
that I wish those individuals had gotten help.
00:34:03.720 --> 00:34:08.440
And so, you know, listening to Alexa talk a lot
00:34:08.440 --> 00:34:11.739
about the types of clients she has and the types
00:34:11.739 --> 00:34:15.699
of situations she talks about, I was a little
00:34:15.699 --> 00:34:18.360
bit emotional inside. I didn't want to show it
00:34:18.360 --> 00:34:21.440
while we were recording because that would you
00:34:21.440 --> 00:34:27.300
know, detract from our conversation. The therapist
00:34:27.300 --> 00:34:30.840
would probably be called into action. Yeah. I
00:34:30.840 --> 00:34:33.440
think that there's just a lot, there's a lot
00:34:33.440 --> 00:34:37.440
around this type of job. And we can get into
00:34:37.440 --> 00:34:40.500
the specifics in a little bit, but I kind of
00:34:40.500 --> 00:34:42.980
wonder what your thoughts were regarding, you
00:34:42.980 --> 00:34:47.880
know, just our Alexis job and sort of what she
00:34:47.880 --> 00:34:51.369
sort of shared with us about her job and the
00:34:51.369 --> 00:34:55.170
things that she does. So I went to therapy every
00:34:55.170 --> 00:35:01.789
week for seven years. And I loved it. And I went
00:35:01.789 --> 00:35:03.449
through a couple of different therapists because
00:35:03.449 --> 00:35:05.769
I had some really crappy therapists at first.
00:35:06.190 --> 00:35:10.829
And then I found the therapist I had and she
00:35:10.829 --> 00:35:17.150
was great. And I loved her. And still it took
00:35:17.150 --> 00:35:21.960
me even Even after I graduated, she graduated
00:35:21.960 --> 00:35:25.440
me. She's like, you're just garden variety crazy
00:35:25.440 --> 00:35:27.639
at this point. But she didn't say garden variety
00:35:27.639 --> 00:35:31.139
crazy, but you just have whatever neurosis. We
00:35:31.139 --> 00:35:37.539
work in the big things. But even after that,
00:35:37.559 --> 00:35:43.039
it took me a while to do what I need to do for
00:35:43.039 --> 00:35:47.260
my mental health. Yeah, I'm a big believer in
00:35:47.260 --> 00:35:53.159
therapy. And it's funny, like, EDMR, I have like
00:35:53.159 --> 00:35:58.199
10 CDs of like training for EMDR. I have a lot
00:35:58.199 --> 00:36:02.820
of feelings about both therapy and EMDR, but
00:36:02.820 --> 00:36:06.260
I'm glad that she's found a way that it helps
00:36:06.260 --> 00:36:13.679
people. I think it's sort of cool. However, a
00:36:13.679 --> 00:36:16.150
lot of people have said that. you know the tapping
00:36:16.150 --> 00:36:19.489
and they they were afraid of water and now they're
00:36:19.489 --> 00:36:23.389
not and you know like they've had like a total
00:36:23.389 --> 00:36:26.650
metamorphosis and i think that's great um i'm
00:36:26.650 --> 00:36:31.110
a big believer in whatever do you do you boo
00:36:31.110 --> 00:36:35.329
like whatever makes you feel better you know
00:36:35.329 --> 00:36:37.250
so well for the most part i mean there are a
00:36:37.250 --> 00:36:39.210
lot of things out there that make people feel
00:36:39.210 --> 00:36:41.710
better but may not necessarily be good for them
00:36:41.710 --> 00:36:48.260
yeah don't take drugs But I do think, I guess
00:36:48.260 --> 00:36:52.340
one of the things that I really appreciated about
00:36:52.340 --> 00:36:57.960
Alexa's story is this pivot she made even in
00:36:57.960 --> 00:37:02.159
early on that she was on a path that she thought,
00:37:02.579 --> 00:37:07.179
oh, well, I'll do law. But then having a very
00:37:07.179 --> 00:37:13.860
significant experience to sort of lead her to
00:37:13.860 --> 00:37:17.059
a place where she felt like she was making a
00:37:17.059 --> 00:37:21.940
bigger impact and then helping individuals feel
00:37:21.940 --> 00:37:25.260
better about themselves, recognize their identity,
00:37:25.619 --> 00:37:28.480
all those kinds of things. I mean, it takes a
00:37:28.480 --> 00:37:33.119
special person to absorb all of that and still
00:37:33.119 --> 00:37:36.219
be sane. And it wasn't like it was an easier
00:37:36.219 --> 00:37:39.179
path. It wasn't like it was a, like... really
00:37:39.179 --> 00:37:42.099
great path. It seemed like she had a lot of people
00:37:42.099 --> 00:37:46.260
that were really mentally unbalanced that she
00:37:46.260 --> 00:37:50.119
was dealing with. And she liked it. I was like,
00:37:50.440 --> 00:37:54.940
you do you, that's great. I think it takes really
00:37:54.940 --> 00:38:03.039
a special kind of joy of life and also feeling
00:38:03.039 --> 00:38:07.420
a deep need to help people. to have somebody
00:38:07.420 --> 00:38:12.079
do this type of job. I mean, because it can pay
00:38:12.079 --> 00:38:15.260
well, but it doesn't necessarily always pay well
00:38:15.260 --> 00:38:19.000
because, no, because there's so many different
00:38:19.000 --> 00:38:26.940
avenues within this field. You can be a clinical
00:38:26.940 --> 00:38:29.619
social worker that might work for the state,
00:38:29.800 --> 00:38:32.230
might work for a hospital, might work. you know,
00:38:32.250 --> 00:38:34.889
in a lot of different places. You could be just
00:38:34.889 --> 00:38:37.289
a licensed professional counselor. You could
00:38:37.289 --> 00:38:41.550
do marriage and family therapy. You could become
00:38:41.550 --> 00:38:45.630
a psychiatrist. But they all require, you know,
00:38:45.730 --> 00:38:49.670
some of the basic education. Bachelor's degree,
00:38:50.429 --> 00:38:56.389
master's degree, and licensing. Yeah. And like...
00:38:56.190 --> 00:38:59.630
The salary range is not as high as I thought
00:38:59.630 --> 00:39:04.710
it would be like it's 59 to 99 and I thought
00:39:04.710 --> 00:39:08.989
it would be higher but I think a lot of these
00:39:08.989 --> 00:39:12.550
things that you can specialize in are Challenging
00:39:12.550 --> 00:39:20.510
like child therapy I'll be upsetting and LGBTQ
00:39:20.510 --> 00:39:25.289
Affirming, you know that those are those are
00:39:25.289 --> 00:39:29.809
some Very difficult situations that people are
00:39:29.809 --> 00:39:32.730
going through that you kind of help them through
00:39:32.730 --> 00:39:36.210
there there just are a lot of different avenues
00:39:36.210 --> 00:39:41.889
for this type of work and The job outlook is
00:39:41.889 --> 00:39:44.449
really high, but I was sort of mentioning earlier
00:39:44.449 --> 00:39:49.070
about this Idea of she has 60 clients. That's
00:39:49.070 --> 00:39:53.369
a lot of clients to manage Okay, you have 60
00:39:53.369 --> 00:39:57.219
clients in a week They're close to an hour, 45
00:39:57.219 --> 00:40:00.920
minutes to an hour. When are you sleeping? Like,
00:40:01.019 --> 00:40:05.079
oh my God. Well, that's you. Okay. So let's do
00:40:05.079 --> 00:40:09.039
the math really quickly. 60 clients in a week.
00:40:09.780 --> 00:40:12.400
You could have a 30 minute. You don't necessarily
00:40:12.400 --> 00:40:16.099
have to have an hour. Because telehealth doesn't
00:40:16.099 --> 00:40:18.639
always, I think telehealth is not always an hour
00:40:18.639 --> 00:40:21.730
long. So you could have some short ones. There
00:40:21.730 --> 00:40:25.429
is a huge opportunity in terms of employment.
00:40:26.849 --> 00:40:31.050
The job outlook is very high. But that also kind
00:40:31.050 --> 00:40:34.650
of goes back to my question to her about demand
00:40:34.650 --> 00:40:39.829
versus availability, is that because so many
00:40:39.829 --> 00:40:45.389
people need mental health support in whatever
00:40:45.389 --> 00:40:49.670
capacity, there are also lots of jobs needed.
00:40:51.309 --> 00:40:55.809
So for individuals who are concerned about AI,
00:40:57.170 --> 00:41:01.030
the AI part, I think that's the worst, is actually
00:41:01.030 --> 00:41:07.469
in the case of people using it to, it's internet
00:41:07.469 --> 00:41:13.280
doctor. It's the same kind of scenario. If there
00:41:13.280 --> 00:41:15.739
are more people out there who are looking for
00:41:15.739 --> 00:41:20.960
a job that is relatively AI -proof, it's human
00:41:20.960 --> 00:41:24.039
connection jobs, and this is really one of those
00:41:24.039 --> 00:41:30.380
jobs. Yes, and AI being your therapist is really
00:41:30.380 --> 00:41:35.760
scary because for whatever reason has not been
00:41:35.760 --> 00:41:40.650
programmed for that at all. It agrees with whatever
00:41:40.650 --> 00:41:44.510
kind of nonsense you say, and will support it,
00:41:44.610 --> 00:41:47.070
and yay, and say the right things. It's like,
00:41:47.389 --> 00:41:52.449
oh my God, do not try to get your AI to be your
00:41:52.449 --> 00:41:57.230
psychotherapist, please God. Well, we hope that
00:41:57.230 --> 00:42:01.369
people will recognize that a human being is a
00:42:01.369 --> 00:42:08.630
much better sounding board than a computer. to
00:42:08.630 --> 00:42:10.829
her point, there are people who have a lot of
00:42:10.829 --> 00:42:14.710
anxiety about meeting individuals, going out
00:42:14.710 --> 00:42:17.650
of their home. So I'm glad there are things like
00:42:17.650 --> 00:42:22.230
telehealth that are now implemented to help people.
00:42:22.889 --> 00:42:25.690
So you can still see that's a person. Yeah, at
00:42:25.690 --> 00:42:28.769
least one of the good things that came out of
00:42:28.769 --> 00:42:32.530
COVID is this ability to have a conversation
00:42:32.530 --> 00:42:37.519
with a doctor even via, you know, um video and
00:42:37.519 --> 00:42:40.760
and so in that regard there are lots of things
00:42:40.760 --> 00:42:43.420
that probably came out of covid that were just
00:42:43.420 --> 00:42:46.719
on its way we just kind of gave it a big push
00:42:46.719 --> 00:42:50.880
but uh i think if anybody is really interested
00:42:50.880 --> 00:42:54.239
in doing a job like this they they would definitely
00:42:54.239 --> 00:42:58.699
have lots of opportunity because there are many
00:42:58.699 --> 00:43:01.440
places that they could potentially do this job
00:43:01.440 --> 00:43:07.760
so if if you're looking at a very empathetic,
00:43:08.300 --> 00:43:11.880
impactful job, and you're willing to do the schooling
00:43:11.880 --> 00:43:14.980
for it, then this is a good job for you.
00:00:03.019 --> 00:00:06.320
Welcome to What She Does, the podcast that takes
00:00:06.320 --> 00:00:08.779
you inside the working lives of everyday women
00:00:08.779 --> 00:00:12.099
shaping the world around us. I'm Leigh Ann Starr.
00:00:12.759 --> 00:00:15.820
And I'm Annie Sendinger. And each week we sit
00:00:15.820 --> 00:00:18.800
down with someone who shows us not just what
00:00:18.800 --> 00:00:22.500
she does, but how and why she does it. Plus,
00:00:22.800 --> 00:00:25.719
find out if you fit the same mold to grab the
00:00:25.719 --> 00:00:29.760
same type of gig. Let's discover What She Does,
00:00:30.039 --> 00:00:34.250
starting now. We're talking with someone who
00:00:34.250 --> 00:00:36.950
spends her days sitting with people in the middle
00:00:36.950 --> 00:00:42.390
of their hardest moments. Alexa Servodidio, a
00:00:42.390 --> 00:00:45.929
licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist
00:00:45.929 --> 00:00:50.549
with her own private practice. Alexa works with
00:00:50.549 --> 00:00:53.270
individuals, couples, and families, kids and
00:00:53.270 --> 00:00:58.049
adults alike on anxiety, trauma, PTSD, and the
00:00:58.049 --> 00:01:00.649
harder conversations around relationships and
00:01:00.649 --> 00:01:04.959
abuse. She trained at Fordham for her master's
00:01:04.959 --> 00:01:08.480
in social work and later completed advanced postgraduate
00:01:08.480 --> 00:01:12.480
work in psychoanalysis and couples therapy. She's
00:01:12.480 --> 00:01:16.519
also EMDR trained, a technique we get into today
00:01:16.519 --> 00:01:19.280
that might change how you think about how trauma
00:01:19.280 --> 00:01:23.260
actually gets stored in the body. But what stayed
00:01:23.260 --> 00:01:27.420
with us most is how she got here. She was one
00:01:27.420 --> 00:01:30.760
semester from law school. when a single field
00:01:30.760 --> 00:01:44.920
placement changed everything. Today we have Alexa
00:01:44.920 --> 00:01:48.040
Servididio, who is a psychotherapist and social
00:01:48.040 --> 00:01:51.239
worker. So hi, Alexa. Hi, thank you so much for
00:01:51.239 --> 00:01:55.760
having me. So tell me a little bit, how did you
00:01:55.760 --> 00:01:59.469
become a psychotherapist? Well, I was finishing
00:01:59.469 --> 00:02:03.489
up my last year in college. I had a major in
00:02:03.489 --> 00:02:06.790
criminal justice. I was planning on becoming
00:02:06.790 --> 00:02:11.090
a lawyer. The last semester of school, they put
00:02:11.090 --> 00:02:14.909
me in my field work in a local mental health
00:02:14.909 --> 00:02:18.490
hospital in the area. I did my last semester
00:02:18.490 --> 00:02:21.569
there. I worked on the women's issues unit. And
00:02:21.569 --> 00:02:24.639
by the end of that semester, I said, I'm not
00:02:24.639 --> 00:02:26.840
going to law school. I want to be a therapist
00:02:26.840 --> 00:02:29.379
I want to be a social worker and I want to work
00:02:29.379 --> 00:02:32.580
in mental health I just it inspired me and I
00:02:32.580 --> 00:02:35.219
just loved the work and working with clients
00:02:35.219 --> 00:02:39.020
What was it about that experience? Like did you
00:02:39.020 --> 00:02:41.960
meet people that like spurred this in you or
00:02:41.960 --> 00:02:44.979
or what happened? Yes on that unit. There are
00:02:44.979 --> 00:02:48.919
just so many different degrees of of trauma chronic
00:02:48.919 --> 00:02:52.400
mental illness addiction different age groups
00:02:52.400 --> 00:02:56.110
and it really It was fascinating. It was intriguing.
00:02:56.229 --> 00:02:58.629
And I've always been very interested in how the
00:02:58.629 --> 00:03:01.810
mind works and what makes people do what they
00:03:01.810 --> 00:03:04.669
do. So I figured this is just so incredible.
00:03:05.050 --> 00:03:07.310
And also really being able to sit down and speak
00:03:07.310 --> 00:03:10.530
to people to really realize what they've gone
00:03:10.530 --> 00:03:12.629
through in their life and how important it is
00:03:12.629 --> 00:03:16.930
to have someone there to support you, to be there
00:03:16.930 --> 00:03:20.370
to listen to you, and have someone just be there
00:03:20.370 --> 00:03:24.620
for you. Then it was just a question of you continue
00:03:24.620 --> 00:03:28.400
your schooling or? Yes, I went for my master's
00:03:28.400 --> 00:03:31.719
in social work at Fordham University in New York
00:03:31.719 --> 00:03:36.000
City and just all the different internships each
00:03:36.000 --> 00:03:39.080
semester. I worked with all different types of
00:03:39.080 --> 00:03:42.580
population, chronic mental illness. I worked
00:03:42.580 --> 00:03:46.360
also with children in the foster care system
00:03:46.360 --> 00:03:50.400
who have had sexually acting out behaviors, violent
00:03:50.400 --> 00:03:54.159
behaviors. And part of my work was being a caseworker
00:03:54.159 --> 00:03:57.139
and checking on them and seeing how they're doing
00:03:57.139 --> 00:04:00.520
and just helping them start to rehabilitate and
00:04:00.520 --> 00:04:04.039
get back on some sort of path forward. I also
00:04:04.039 --> 00:04:07.020
did a lot of internship and work in a domestic
00:04:07.020 --> 00:04:10.139
violence agency. So I've worked with a lot of
00:04:10.139 --> 00:04:13.240
high risk and trauma during my years of getting
00:04:13.240 --> 00:04:19.160
my master's in social work. And now I'm assuming
00:04:19.160 --> 00:04:24.639
you have... a much more quiet clientele. Exactly.
00:04:25.660 --> 00:04:31.160
Yes, I'm in private practice now and my specialties
00:04:31.160 --> 00:04:35.540
are domestic violence, sexual abuse, trauma,
00:04:35.959 --> 00:04:39.480
addiction, anxiety, and I work with children,
00:04:39.720 --> 00:04:44.000
adults, families, individuals. I'm also EMDR
00:04:44.000 --> 00:04:47.160
trained. That's eye movement desensitization
00:04:47.160 --> 00:04:50.850
reprocessing. which is a game changer for any
00:04:50.850 --> 00:04:54.089
type of trauma, anxiety, addiction, all of that.
00:04:54.490 --> 00:04:57.889
So I really, you know, I have a very heavy, heavy
00:04:57.889 --> 00:05:01.329
caseload, a lot of crisis, but I really love
00:05:01.329 --> 00:05:03.470
the work that I do and I've been seeing incredible
00:05:03.470 --> 00:05:07.149
results. So it's really, really life changing
00:05:07.149 --> 00:05:12.470
in all, in all areas. Wow. I did not realize.
00:05:13.129 --> 00:05:16.889
So EMDR has been sort of accepted in the psychotherapy
00:05:16.889 --> 00:05:20.839
community. Yes. Yes. Finally, after how many
00:05:20.839 --> 00:05:24.920
years it's been accepted and a lot of clients
00:05:24.920 --> 00:05:27.899
really are not familiar with it. So until I really
00:05:27.899 --> 00:05:30.759
start doing the work with my clients, they all
00:05:30.759 --> 00:05:33.740
have said, why has that not been around since
00:05:33.740 --> 00:05:36.740
I was younger? We should be all doing it as children,
00:05:36.800 --> 00:05:39.480
as adults, because we really don't have control
00:05:39.480 --> 00:05:43.060
of what gets stuck. What's kind of that disconnect
00:05:43.060 --> 00:05:45.620
with maybe different scenarios that's happened
00:05:45.620 --> 00:05:48.129
in our life where we're like, okay. It is what
00:05:48.129 --> 00:05:51.569
it is. But our mind and our body go into fight,
00:05:51.730 --> 00:05:54.930
flight, or freeze. And subconsciously, consciously,
00:05:55.050 --> 00:05:58.870
we're stuck. And that lens is leading our lives,
00:05:58.949 --> 00:06:00.910
is leading our decisions. And sometimes we don't
00:06:00.910 --> 00:06:03.029
even know that it was something that happened
00:06:03.029 --> 00:06:06.689
in second grade on the playground. Alexa, can
00:06:06.689 --> 00:06:09.370
you talk a little bit or explain a little bit?
00:06:09.389 --> 00:06:14.069
Because I'm not familiar with what EMDR is. Sure,
00:06:14.389 --> 00:06:18.620
EMDR. Well, it's about the bilateral movement
00:06:18.620 --> 00:06:22.100
of left to right. It is where you can either
00:06:22.100 --> 00:06:25.800
do it on your shoulders, on your knees, or I
00:06:25.800 --> 00:06:28.339
have an actual light machine, some therapists
00:06:28.339 --> 00:06:31.420
use their arm, but it's the bilateral movement
00:06:31.420 --> 00:06:35.879
from left to right that reprocesses stuck thoughts,
00:06:36.199 --> 00:06:39.819
emotions, scenarios, where talk therapy, when
00:06:39.819 --> 00:06:42.240
we do it, just goes in a circle, goes in a circle.
00:06:42.500 --> 00:06:45.120
Why can't I just get, oh, why isn't it not clicking?
00:06:45.420 --> 00:06:48.160
But something about the physicality, like in
00:06:48.160 --> 00:06:51.300
REM sleep, when our eyes are going back and forth,
00:06:51.579 --> 00:06:54.240
the mind is picking and pruning what to keep,
00:06:54.300 --> 00:06:57.300
what to get away, what to throw out. EMDR is
00:06:57.300 --> 00:07:01.459
the same, it breaks that barrier. So we reprocess
00:07:01.459 --> 00:07:05.300
that stuck thought, that stuck feeling, the trauma
00:07:05.300 --> 00:07:09.000
that's always living right here, it moves it
00:07:09.000 --> 00:07:11.920
away from us. So it's not in our eye lens to
00:07:11.920 --> 00:07:14.300
say all the time, we're not seeing it all the
00:07:14.300 --> 00:07:17.009
time. So we reprocess the different scenarios.
00:07:17.610 --> 00:07:19.750
I always say, if someone came into my office
00:07:19.750 --> 00:07:22.970
who had a fear of snakes, I would ask them, what
00:07:22.970 --> 00:07:26.430
is the worst scenario? What's your worst fear?
00:07:27.269 --> 00:07:30.189
I was bitten by a snake. I was dying. It was
00:07:30.189 --> 00:07:33.410
painful. I couldn't get help. What is the negative
00:07:33.410 --> 00:07:36.870
cognition? What does it say? I am not safe. The
00:07:36.870 --> 00:07:39.670
world is not safe. I am unlovable. I'm helpless.
00:07:39.850 --> 00:07:42.490
I'm powerless. Where do you feel that in your
00:07:42.490 --> 00:07:47.230
body? and zero not disturbing, 10 the most. When
00:07:47.230 --> 00:07:50.170
you think about that snake biting you, what is
00:07:50.170 --> 00:07:53.449
it? Then we start the reprocessing, the left
00:07:53.449 --> 00:07:57.209
and right, and once we reduce it down to a zero,
00:07:57.730 --> 00:08:00.310
twice, and we clear the body of any blockage,
00:08:00.670 --> 00:08:05.870
we've cleared that memory. Interesting. I didn't
00:08:05.870 --> 00:08:08.509
even realize it. I think I've seen it being used
00:08:08.509 --> 00:08:11.699
like... Television movies or something, but I
00:08:11.699 --> 00:08:13.720
didn't actually know that's what it was called.
00:08:13.720 --> 00:08:17.240
So thank you for for that explanation Absolutely
00:08:17.240 --> 00:08:21.339
And so how long have you been in private practice?
00:08:21.819 --> 00:08:25.360
I've been in private practice about 15 years
00:08:25.360 --> 00:08:32.039
now Okay And so What do you find does it take
00:08:32.039 --> 00:08:35.340
up a lot of your time? Is it like people coming
00:08:35.340 --> 00:08:38.820
where where's your office is in your house? I
00:08:38.820 --> 00:08:41.639
do telehealth and I'm back in the office some
00:08:41.639 --> 00:08:44.820
days a week. So I do in -person and telehealth.
00:08:45.379 --> 00:08:49.120
And I have a huge telehealth caseload and then
00:08:49.120 --> 00:08:51.519
more people now want to start coming back into
00:08:51.519 --> 00:08:53.440
the office. But sometimes it's just, you know,
00:08:53.440 --> 00:08:55.899
getting in the car, driving there in between
00:08:55.899 --> 00:08:58.059
sessions, which is sometimes, okay, give me a
00:08:58.059 --> 00:09:01.019
couple of minutes. I'm pulling in, but it's busy.
00:09:01.159 --> 00:09:03.220
But I find some people are just telehealth people.
00:09:03.320 --> 00:09:06.840
Some people want in -person, but it works both
00:09:06.840 --> 00:09:10.629
ways. Do you feel that it's easier to connect
00:09:10.629 --> 00:09:13.690
with people in person than doing telehealth?
00:09:14.549 --> 00:09:17.509
Telehealth is fine too. Even with new clients,
00:09:17.769 --> 00:09:20.169
especially during COVID, I had a lot of new clients
00:09:20.169 --> 00:09:23.169
that I never met in person. But even those that
00:09:23.169 --> 00:09:25.610
I have had in person, it's been the same. Once
00:09:25.610 --> 00:09:28.149
a couple of times, of course they get over, we're
00:09:28.149 --> 00:09:30.789
not in the same room, they can see me through
00:09:30.789 --> 00:09:34.840
Zoom, they start to realize that I'm not. I'm
00:09:34.840 --> 00:09:37.340
not looking the other way. I'm not cleaning my
00:09:37.340 --> 00:09:39.399
house as I'm on the phone with them or typing
00:09:39.399 --> 00:09:43.879
on the computer. I'm really one -on -one watching
00:09:43.879 --> 00:09:49.980
them and I can hear them. So tell me like, for
00:09:49.980 --> 00:09:55.080
you, what has been in your many years of being
00:09:55.080 --> 00:09:57.919
a psychotherapist, what has been the most rewarding?
00:10:00.159 --> 00:10:04.259
Someone start as a client, feeling that They're
00:10:04.259 --> 00:10:08.159
just so hopeless and helpless and not feeling
00:10:08.159 --> 00:10:12.000
like there's joy in their life. So I do a lot
00:10:12.000 --> 00:10:15.419
of complex trauma. So sometimes the history of
00:10:15.419 --> 00:10:18.980
abuse and trauma and loss that they've had in
00:10:18.980 --> 00:10:21.580
their life, you're like, wow, how can this person
00:10:21.580 --> 00:10:25.179
carry this by themselves? Where is that light?
00:10:25.720 --> 00:10:29.559
And to realize that I can help them be lighter
00:10:29.559 --> 00:10:33.080
and lighter and get them to that path is so empowering.
00:10:33.279 --> 00:10:36.179
And a lot of my clients will say, you're so enthusiastic.
00:10:36.340 --> 00:10:39.980
You're so sure of what you're doing. How do you
00:10:39.980 --> 00:10:42.039
know I'm going to be that one client that it's
00:10:42.039 --> 00:10:44.980
never going to work? I said, well, I think everybody
00:10:44.980 --> 00:10:48.720
has a chance. I don't think anybody is too far
00:10:48.720 --> 00:10:51.340
gone. As long as you want to show up and say,
00:10:51.600 --> 00:10:53.940
I don't have the answers, but let's try. I'll
00:10:53.940 --> 00:10:56.100
do the best I can. You don't have to be perfect
00:10:56.100 --> 00:10:58.539
and you don't have to be happy. You could just
00:10:58.539 --> 00:11:01.399
show up and be yourself. That's half the work.
00:11:02.129 --> 00:11:06.649
Have you had a patient who is too far gone or
00:11:06.649 --> 00:11:11.710
did not come around who was? Few that have been
00:11:11.710 --> 00:11:16.129
actively using and had and when I was in person
00:11:16.129 --> 00:11:21.509
and had come in extremely intoxicating and Also
00:11:21.509 --> 00:11:24.570
off their medication. So they were very delusional
00:11:24.570 --> 00:11:28.929
at the same time So obviously I can't work with
00:11:28.929 --> 00:11:30.470
some I can't work with someone like that until
00:11:30.470 --> 00:11:33.539
they're stabilized So they would have to be hospitalized
00:11:33.539 --> 00:11:36.899
immediately and get back on their medication
00:11:36.899 --> 00:11:40.259
and back to a state where at least they're somewhat
00:11:40.259 --> 00:11:43.519
coherent to have therapy. And if they choose
00:11:43.519 --> 00:11:45.960
to come back, I always tell them, my door is
00:11:45.960 --> 00:11:48.120
always open. I will be with you while you're
00:11:48.120 --> 00:11:50.820
inpatient. I will call you. You can call me.
00:11:51.000 --> 00:11:52.799
The treatment providers there can always have
00:11:52.799 --> 00:11:55.200
full contact. I don't close the door and say,
00:11:55.320 --> 00:11:57.320
that's it. I always tell people, once you're
00:11:57.320 --> 00:12:00.120
in my appointment book, even 20 years later,
00:12:00.279 --> 00:12:02.980
You can still call me and say, can I come back?
00:12:02.980 --> 00:12:05.639
Of course you can. I'll always put you in somewhere.
00:12:07.240 --> 00:12:11.080
That's great. Um, when someone comes in and they're
00:12:11.080 --> 00:12:14.940
delusional and having issues and they're on drugs,
00:12:15.120 --> 00:12:18.279
I mean, do you call the hospital? What happens?
00:12:19.159 --> 00:12:21.679
Yes. I've had to call the hospital a lot. I've
00:12:21.679 --> 00:12:26.399
had to call the EMS and also I always let my
00:12:26.399 --> 00:12:29.059
client know. Even, you know, I had a client come
00:12:29.059 --> 00:12:32.480
in and he was. extremely intoxicated, has a very
00:12:32.480 --> 00:12:36.139
violent history and delusional at the same time,
00:12:36.460 --> 00:12:40.419
and has a big anger and fear towards authority,
00:12:41.279 --> 00:12:43.500
especially, you know, police officers. And this
00:12:43.500 --> 00:12:46.820
was many years ago. And I explained to him, I
00:12:46.820 --> 00:12:50.360
said, listen, because he had cut his arms, he
00:12:50.360 --> 00:12:53.679
had hurt himself. So I was able to work with
00:12:53.679 --> 00:12:56.120
him and say, listen, did you go to urgent care?
00:12:56.200 --> 00:12:58.240
Because I see you, I know what he did to his
00:12:58.240 --> 00:13:00.740
arm. I said, it seems like you might have fallen
00:13:00.740 --> 00:13:02.919
or something happened to your arm. It looks infected.
00:13:03.399 --> 00:13:05.700
Did you go to urgent care? And he said, yes.
00:13:05.700 --> 00:13:07.840
And I said, well, maybe they did their best,
00:13:07.860 --> 00:13:10.299
but I think there's an infection and I'm worried
00:13:10.299 --> 00:13:14.419
about you. Do you mind if I call EMS, but EMS
00:13:14.419 --> 00:13:17.440
is going to come. Policemen are going to come
00:13:17.440 --> 00:13:19.419
and they're going to be kind of, everyone's going
00:13:19.419 --> 00:13:21.340
to come running in because we're all worried
00:13:21.340 --> 00:13:24.799
about you. But if I speak to them and I make
00:13:24.799 --> 00:13:26.860
sure I let them know that you're going to be
00:13:26.860 --> 00:13:29.970
safe and we're going to do this. You know, how
00:13:29.970 --> 00:13:32.409
does that sound to you? Do you trust me? And
00:13:32.409 --> 00:13:34.590
he said, yes, as long as you let them know that
00:13:34.590 --> 00:13:36.549
I don't want them to physically hurt me. I said,
00:13:36.809 --> 00:13:40.250
absolutely. So, you know, as, as I had to call
00:13:40.250 --> 00:13:44.450
EMS and about 20 policemen came, EMS came and
00:13:44.450 --> 00:13:46.909
this individual was well known in the community.
00:13:46.990 --> 00:13:49.350
So they were, they were, they were concerned
00:13:49.350 --> 00:13:52.269
for their safety, but also for mine because I
00:13:52.269 --> 00:13:55.470
was the only one in the office. It was on a weekend
00:13:55.470 --> 00:13:59.539
and I had to let them know, listen, He's inside.
00:14:00.360 --> 00:14:03.399
I know this is out of my scope of practice, but
00:14:03.399 --> 00:14:07.139
I have a safety contract with him. Can we please
00:14:07.139 --> 00:14:09.259
go in there and do the best we can? And obviously,
00:14:09.679 --> 00:14:11.460
if you don't think it's safe, you guys have authority
00:14:11.460 --> 00:14:13.980
over me. But this is what I've set up, and he's
00:14:13.980 --> 00:14:18.059
agreed. And they half -heartedly said, OK, but
00:14:18.059 --> 00:14:20.580
you have to stand back. And I said, of course
00:14:20.580 --> 00:14:23.899
I will. But just let him see me, and let me speak
00:14:23.899 --> 00:14:28.240
to him. And they came in. It worked out well,
00:14:28.299 --> 00:14:31.799
and he left calmly with them and was in his hospital
00:14:31.799 --> 00:14:35.480
lots. It took a while, but everybody kind of
00:14:35.480 --> 00:14:37.059
just came out slowly, because I think, you know,
00:14:37.100 --> 00:14:40.539
as I told him, I said, come in. He's around 10
00:14:40.539 --> 00:14:43.100
right now, and he's delusional and under the
00:14:43.100 --> 00:14:47.039
influence. It doesn't have to go this way. Have
00:14:47.039 --> 00:14:50.919
you ever been praying for your own physical safety?
00:14:51.600 --> 00:14:56.120
Yes, a few times, yes. Yes, and it's, you know,
00:14:56.120 --> 00:14:59.019
a lot of just really speaking with the client
00:14:59.019 --> 00:15:03.659
and hoping I can get in between the delusions
00:15:03.659 --> 00:15:06.820
and whatever substance they're on and let them
00:15:06.820 --> 00:15:08.620
realize, especially, you know, the two clients
00:15:08.620 --> 00:15:11.639
I've been seeing for a long time, who they had
00:15:11.639 --> 00:15:15.059
trusted me when they weren't delusional. So I
00:15:15.059 --> 00:15:18.399
was able to kind of get in between the delusions
00:15:18.399 --> 00:15:20.360
and say, listen, we've been working together
00:15:20.360 --> 00:15:23.059
for five years. We've worked on this, we've worked
00:15:23.059 --> 00:15:25.769
on this. I know these voices are telling you
00:15:25.769 --> 00:15:29.049
that I'm not a good person or to lash out on
00:15:29.049 --> 00:15:31.830
me. Let's do the counting. Let's try to shut
00:15:31.830 --> 00:15:34.929
it out. Let's try to do this. And by God's grace,
00:15:34.929 --> 00:15:37.049
it's worked. Couple of times I wasn't sure it
00:15:37.049 --> 00:15:39.289
was going to work, but they allowed me to leave
00:15:39.289 --> 00:15:45.889
the room. Wow. I was going to ask, you know,
00:15:45.970 --> 00:15:49.129
obviously your job is quite flexible in terms
00:15:49.129 --> 00:15:52.970
of hours and things like that. When you have
00:15:52.970 --> 00:15:57.309
situations where you are sort of concerned for
00:15:57.309 --> 00:15:59.769
your own physical safety dealing with clients,
00:16:00.250 --> 00:16:03.169
how does that impact your family life? Like,
00:16:03.330 --> 00:16:06.230
because you mentioned earlier, you have a young
00:16:06.230 --> 00:16:10.210
child. Yes, it is sometimes concerning. And,
00:16:10.330 --> 00:16:13.490
you know, my daughter, my child, she knows, obviously,
00:16:13.710 --> 00:16:15.629
what I do for a living. She doesn't know any,
00:16:15.990 --> 00:16:18.190
like who my clients are, anything like that.
00:16:18.680 --> 00:16:21.019
But I have said, listen, if we are ever out in
00:16:21.019 --> 00:16:24.480
public or if someone approaches us and I said,
00:16:24.480 --> 00:16:27.200
okay, let's just let's say hello and I know we
00:16:27.200 --> 00:16:29.500
have to go somewhere or maybe we were going to
00:16:29.500 --> 00:16:31.320
sit down in a restaurant or we were going to
00:16:31.320 --> 00:16:32.659
stay somewhere. And I said, no, no, no, we have
00:16:32.659 --> 00:16:35.519
to go. I said, there's a reason. I know you're
00:16:35.519 --> 00:16:38.559
young and doesn't make sense. I said, but this
00:16:38.559 --> 00:16:41.379
is, this is what it has to be. You know, and
00:16:41.379 --> 00:16:43.759
nowadays people can find out everything about
00:16:43.759 --> 00:16:48.440
you on Google. So, you know, I do worry a little
00:16:48.440 --> 00:16:51.519
bit here and there, but I pray about it and say
00:16:51.519 --> 00:16:54.480
the best I can do and hopefully, you know, I
00:16:54.480 --> 00:16:56.940
work with a lot of different types. So hoping
00:16:56.940 --> 00:16:59.679
that they realize to take care of themselves.
00:16:59.879 --> 00:17:01.879
But yes, it's definitely something that kind
00:17:01.879 --> 00:17:06.579
of sit and weigh on my mind at times. Yeah. That's
00:17:06.579 --> 00:17:09.579
heavy. That's very heavy. Then how do you take
00:17:09.579 --> 00:17:16.950
care of yourself? Like you absorb a lot of emotions
00:17:16.950 --> 00:17:20.130
and tension from others, how do you take care
00:17:20.130 --> 00:17:24.230
of yourself because of what you do? I'm also
00:17:24.230 --> 00:17:29.410
an aerobics instructor, so I love fitness. When
00:17:29.410 --> 00:17:32.250
I was training to go to school, I was a fitness
00:17:32.250 --> 00:17:34.950
instructor, so I taught a lot of classes. I teach
00:17:34.950 --> 00:17:37.670
aerobics, I do my own workouts, I go for walks.
00:17:38.230 --> 00:17:44.000
I love the beach, going to movies, resting. Sleeping
00:17:44.000 --> 00:17:46.359
as I always say I'm the type of person that needs
00:17:46.359 --> 00:17:49.519
like eight hours of sleep Just trying to do that.
00:17:49.779 --> 00:17:54.359
You're spending time with my family Helps you
00:17:54.359 --> 00:17:58.539
decompress. Yes. Yes Everybody needs a stress
00:17:58.539 --> 00:18:02.579
reliever, right? Yeah, and so what has been the
00:18:02.579 --> 00:18:07.359
most rewarding? Case that you bet on I also wrote
00:18:07.359 --> 00:18:13.170
two books and my second book One of my clients
00:18:13.170 --> 00:18:16.990
that I had many years ago inspired me to write
00:18:16.990 --> 00:18:21.789
it. And she actually was like, you need to write
00:18:21.789 --> 00:18:25.329
a book on the way you do therapy. She had been
00:18:25.329 --> 00:18:29.089
in the mental health field as a patient for all
00:18:29.089 --> 00:18:32.029
of her life. She was about in her thirties when
00:18:32.029 --> 00:18:36.789
I met with her a while back. And very severe,
00:18:36.789 --> 00:18:40.329
a lot of suicide attempts. That was something
00:18:40.329 --> 00:18:44.930
that would happen. You never knew. And many therapists
00:18:44.930 --> 00:18:47.809
will not take on a client who's actively suicidal
00:18:47.809 --> 00:18:50.269
because it's, you know, because of safety issues
00:18:50.269 --> 00:18:53.250
and liability issues and all of that. And she
00:18:53.250 --> 00:18:56.150
had come to me and we had spoken about it and
00:18:56.150 --> 00:18:59.109
she was very honest. And we did a lot of work
00:18:59.109 --> 00:19:01.289
about safety contracting, you know, and she,
00:19:01.549 --> 00:19:03.869
she said, I'm not going to ever contract with
00:19:03.869 --> 00:19:07.269
you that it'll never happen. I can't tell you
00:19:07.269 --> 00:19:10.710
I'm not going to do it. But if I'm planning on
00:19:10.710 --> 00:19:16.029
doing it, I'll let you know So it was it was
00:19:16.029 --> 00:19:18.710
it was it was a tough in the beginning was very
00:19:18.710 --> 00:19:23.190
very tough But there were times where she's like
00:19:23.190 --> 00:19:26.769
listen This this is probably what's gonna happen
00:19:26.769 --> 00:19:29.450
and this is how I'm feeling We contracted and
00:19:29.450 --> 00:19:32.269
hadn't you know, she had even attempted in hospitals
00:19:32.269 --> 00:19:35.750
and almost succeeded So she was she was on that
00:19:35.750 --> 00:19:39.029
path at that time that this is something that
00:19:39.029 --> 00:19:41.329
was going to probably be a definite outcome in
00:19:41.329 --> 00:19:45.390
her life. But after years of working with her
00:19:45.390 --> 00:19:50.309
and really just being there with her, she had
00:19:50.309 --> 00:19:53.589
me coin certain terms of the work that we did.
00:19:54.150 --> 00:19:57.410
And one of them is the nesting place. And through
00:19:57.410 --> 00:20:01.730
her background as a child, she never had to chance
00:20:01.730 --> 00:20:06.250
to be a person. It sounds strange, but she didn't
00:20:06.519 --> 00:20:09.160
We even think that anybody should ever acknowledge
00:20:09.160 --> 00:20:11.579
her. No one should see her. Why would anyone
00:20:11.579 --> 00:20:14.160
say hello to her? She doesn't exist. There's
00:20:14.160 --> 00:20:16.579
nothing important about her. Why would anyone
00:20:16.579 --> 00:20:19.759
want to even have anything to do with her? And
00:20:19.759 --> 00:20:23.039
she would then take on the personalities of the
00:20:23.039 --> 00:20:25.220
different therapists. So then she could have
00:20:25.220 --> 00:20:28.880
an identity. You would like her. So she would
00:20:28.880 --> 00:20:32.200
always come in and ask questions. And I wouldn't
00:20:32.200 --> 00:20:34.359
ask, I wouldn't answer. And I said, I'm not being
00:20:34.359 --> 00:20:38.079
mean. I want you. I don't want you to be me.
00:20:38.380 --> 00:20:40.140
I want, I want to know you. And she goes, but
00:20:40.140 --> 00:20:42.400
I don't know what I want. I don't know who I
00:20:42.400 --> 00:20:44.460
am. I said, but that's what we're going to practice.
00:20:45.519 --> 00:20:48.039
We're going to practice like coffee. Do you like
00:20:48.039 --> 00:20:50.259
tea? Do you like to go to the supermarket in
00:20:50.259 --> 00:20:52.440
the morning? Do you like flowers? Do you like
00:20:52.440 --> 00:20:55.740
this? And I want you. So we did little small
00:20:55.740 --> 00:20:57.839
steps where every day she said, why am I doing
00:20:57.839 --> 00:21:00.359
this? I said, go and see if you like it or not.
00:21:00.460 --> 00:21:02.180
That's all I want to know. And then come back.
00:21:02.480 --> 00:21:04.940
And this is how we're going to, this is who you
00:21:04.940 --> 00:21:07.180
are. And she said, it doesn't make a difference.
00:21:07.180 --> 00:21:09.319
I said, yes, it does. You like to look at flowers?
00:21:09.359 --> 00:21:11.880
You don't like coffee. You don't like mornings.
00:21:12.099 --> 00:21:15.019
You like to read. You like the color blue. And
00:21:15.019 --> 00:21:18.619
years of building her identity and who she is.
00:21:19.079 --> 00:21:22.480
And it took years. And that's when she moved
00:21:22.480 --> 00:21:26.380
to another state. She travels. She's got a job
00:21:26.380 --> 00:21:30.460
now. She's in a relationship at one point. And
00:21:30.460 --> 00:21:35.039
she said, you have to write a book on this. And
00:21:35.039 --> 00:21:36.539
the way you do therapy, she said, I've been in
00:21:36.539 --> 00:21:39.579
the mental health field my whole life. Not any
00:21:39.579 --> 00:21:42.759
therapist has approached me like this. And she
00:21:42.759 --> 00:21:47.980
hadn't been suicidal about the therapy. That's
00:21:47.980 --> 00:21:53.119
amazing. That is really amazing. I wanted to
00:21:53.119 --> 00:21:55.980
ask you, because definitions help me understand.
00:21:56.839 --> 00:22:00.339
You mentioned safety contract. And I kind of
00:22:00.339 --> 00:22:02.319
want to understand a little bit more, because
00:22:02.319 --> 00:22:05.289
you mentioned it. a couple times now and wanted
00:22:05.289 --> 00:22:07.690
to understand exactly what a safety contract
00:22:07.690 --> 00:22:12.329
is. Sure, that I do with most clients, but definitely
00:22:12.329 --> 00:22:17.289
if a client has a history of cutting behaviors,
00:22:17.650 --> 00:22:22.869
self -harm behaviors, harming themselves, harming
00:22:22.869 --> 00:22:26.910
others, at -risk type of behaviors. So I would
00:22:26.910 --> 00:22:30.910
ask them, how would I know you were having more
00:22:30.910 --> 00:22:34.339
than a bad day? How would you know you were having
00:22:34.339 --> 00:22:37.460
more than a bad day? And we would work on those.
00:22:37.759 --> 00:22:41.299
We would put those in the safety contract. What
00:22:41.299 --> 00:22:45.759
should I say? Wow. Jane isn't doing well today.
00:22:46.099 --> 00:22:49.759
I should call EMS. How would, what would you
00:22:49.759 --> 00:22:52.339
say I should? And we would put together this
00:22:52.339 --> 00:22:56.920
contract. What are some things you could do that
00:22:56.920 --> 00:23:00.720
would help? Read a book, make a therapy appointment,
00:23:00.859 --> 00:23:03.940
go to the hospital. Go work out. Who would you
00:23:03.940 --> 00:23:07.900
want me to call? Call my mom. Call my psychiatrist.
00:23:07.980 --> 00:23:13.259
Call my best friend. Don't call this one. And
00:23:13.259 --> 00:23:15.660
if I have to call EMS, which is understandable,
00:23:16.799 --> 00:23:19.119
I do, you know, zero, I'm not going to act on
00:23:19.119 --> 00:23:23.819
something. Ten I am. Do you have a plan if you're
00:23:23.819 --> 00:23:26.940
going to hurt yourself or somebody else? Anything
00:23:26.940 --> 00:23:30.259
around five, I have to call. Five or six, I have
00:23:30.259 --> 00:23:32.809
to... I have to know to focus on one. That's
00:23:32.809 --> 00:23:35.589
my duty. It's nothing personal. And I tell people,
00:23:35.589 --> 00:23:38.390
I have to report it. I'm a mandated reporter,
00:23:38.730 --> 00:23:40.690
but I will always let you know. I won't just
00:23:40.690 --> 00:23:42.950
let someone say, okay. I'll let someone show
00:23:42.950 --> 00:23:44.630
up at your door and you're totally blindsided.
00:23:44.970 --> 00:23:47.769
I will be with you the whole call and the whole
00:23:47.769 --> 00:23:51.670
time. The authorities have to be there. And then
00:23:51.670 --> 00:23:54.309
which hospital would you like to go to? What's
00:23:54.309 --> 00:23:56.630
your preference of what hospital you would want
00:23:56.630 --> 00:24:00.049
them to take you to? Wow, so it's basically like
00:24:00.049 --> 00:24:04.829
a plan of how to react in certain types of situations
00:24:04.829 --> 00:24:08.509
Yes, which is great To have something like that
00:24:08.509 --> 00:24:12.230
that helps both you and the client sort of understand
00:24:12.230 --> 00:24:15.990
where they're at and how to address it So wow,
00:24:16.369 --> 00:24:18.690
I never knew that there were things like that.
00:24:18.690 --> 00:24:22.950
So thank you. You're welcome I was thinking some
00:24:22.950 --> 00:24:27.099
of these people I'm guessing You're being paid
00:24:27.099 --> 00:24:32.000
not directly by them, but by, like, government
00:24:32.000 --> 00:24:37.319
or insurance or... I do have, you know... Really?
00:24:38.019 --> 00:24:42.079
Basically, all of my clients are voluntary. They've
00:24:42.079 --> 00:24:45.619
chosen to come. Hmm. Yes. Which is incredible.
00:24:46.700 --> 00:24:49.380
Yeah, that is incredible. They've all chosen
00:24:49.380 --> 00:24:53.299
to come. And they come often. They come and...
00:24:53.259 --> 00:24:55.940
Most of them don't really, you know, one or two,
00:24:56.119 --> 00:24:58.759
that's just their thing about being late or last
00:24:58.759 --> 00:25:01.880
minute cancellations, but most of them show up.
00:25:03.039 --> 00:25:06.319
Wow. I'm shocked, actually. I was like, oh, this
00:25:06.319 --> 00:25:10.140
has to be, you know, you have to deal with, like,
00:25:10.279 --> 00:25:13.359
government pay and what they're doing and, you
00:25:13.359 --> 00:25:16.259
know, the nonsense from that, but I guess not.
00:25:17.079 --> 00:25:18.960
Just insurance companies. Sometimes they take
00:25:18.960 --> 00:25:22.700
too long to pay, but that's insurance companies.
00:25:23.180 --> 00:25:25.940
I would think that's really complicated and it's
00:25:25.940 --> 00:25:29.000
a pain, or maybe I'm wrong, but it just seems
00:25:29.000 --> 00:25:34.720
like that's not a great way to get paid. No.
00:25:34.940 --> 00:25:38.720
I've actually had to hire a biller to submit
00:25:38.720 --> 00:25:42.660
my billing for me because the insurance companies
00:25:42.660 --> 00:25:46.119
deny everything. Plus I would spend, some weeks
00:25:46.119 --> 00:25:50.099
I see 60 clients a week. So to submit - Wow.
00:25:50.920 --> 00:25:53.180
And billing is impossible. Like it's, you have
00:25:53.180 --> 00:25:56.380
to fill out a lot of this. Now everything's computerized.
00:25:56.400 --> 00:25:59.740
And they can deny like, I put the wrong initial
00:25:59.740 --> 00:26:03.799
or something. And then it's another 30, 60 days
00:26:03.799 --> 00:26:06.079
to appeal it until they have to, till you can
00:26:06.079 --> 00:26:09.599
get paid. So some insurance companies will pay
00:26:09.599 --> 00:26:13.140
14 days. Some will pay 35. Some will pay every
00:26:13.140 --> 00:26:17.259
60 days. That's really the only downfall is the
00:26:17.259 --> 00:26:20.559
insurance companies. You know, I have my biller,
00:26:20.579 --> 00:26:23.839
so I submit to her. And then now some insurance
00:26:23.839 --> 00:26:28.140
companies pay by virtual cards. So you have to
00:26:28.140 --> 00:26:32.700
have your own credit card and key fob or whatever
00:26:32.700 --> 00:26:37.180
it is. And then you get charged for collecting
00:26:37.180 --> 00:26:40.059
your own money. And sometimes you get charged
00:26:40.059 --> 00:26:43.559
for asking for your own EOBs, Explanations of
00:26:43.559 --> 00:26:45.819
Benefits, of what clients you're getting paid
00:26:45.819 --> 00:26:49.269
for. So I could get 60 things. And if I want
00:26:49.269 --> 00:26:51.730
to say, is that Jane Doe's or Michael's list,
00:26:51.849 --> 00:26:55.130
I have to pay for it. And then in order for it
00:26:55.130 --> 00:26:57.650
to deposit it, I have to pay for that with my
00:26:57.650 --> 00:27:04.009
own money. That's a very complicated system.
00:27:04.289 --> 00:27:07.549
I'm sure it's one of many things that are going
00:27:07.549 --> 00:27:13.069
on in terms of issues regarding this field. I
00:27:13.069 --> 00:27:17.569
did a little research. I wanted to find out a
00:27:17.569 --> 00:27:21.069
little bit about specifically, because if you
00:27:21.069 --> 00:27:27.029
have 60 clients at a time, that is a lot of clientele
00:27:27.029 --> 00:27:30.490
and a lot of time, which then sort of speaks
00:27:30.490 --> 00:27:35.990
to the demand that's happening. And would you
00:27:35.990 --> 00:27:40.880
say that from your experience, Like there seems
00:27:40.880 --> 00:27:44.359
to be like a mismatch between sort of the amount
00:27:44.359 --> 00:27:47.480
of demand and the available people that are able
00:27:47.480 --> 00:27:53.259
to help the demand. Also, a lot of therapists
00:27:53.259 --> 00:27:57.920
for a long time won't take insurance. I did not
00:27:57.920 --> 00:28:01.119
know that. Don't take insurance against all the
00:28:01.119 --> 00:28:05.500
issues. But my pop, a lot of my population, and
00:28:05.500 --> 00:28:08.140
then they charge three to four hundred dollars
00:28:08.140 --> 00:28:11.430
a session. Some areas, I guess you can do that,
00:28:12.509 --> 00:28:15.710
but most people can't pay that. So that's one
00:28:15.710 --> 00:28:18.950
thing I think, you know, and also a lot of times
00:28:18.950 --> 00:28:22.690
people are not specialized in certain areas or
00:28:22.690 --> 00:28:25.450
population or they don't want to work with that
00:28:25.450 --> 00:28:28.009
population. So that's always really tough. And
00:28:28.009 --> 00:28:30.869
I, a lot of times clients will reach out to me
00:28:30.869 --> 00:28:34.210
and say, you're the only person who ever responded.
00:28:34.529 --> 00:28:37.750
I emailed 20 therapists. You're the only one.
00:28:37.890 --> 00:28:43.099
And I'll say, Listen, I'm booked, but I couldn't
00:28:43.099 --> 00:28:44.960
have, especially if someone leaves me a message
00:28:44.960 --> 00:28:47.000
that they're in a desperate state or their child.
00:28:47.319 --> 00:28:49.559
I can't knowingly just say, I'm not going to
00:28:49.559 --> 00:28:52.279
call them back, but I don't have any room. I
00:28:52.279 --> 00:28:53.839
will call them back, which means they're deaf.
00:28:54.059 --> 00:28:56.359
I'm somehow squishing them into my schedule and
00:28:56.359 --> 00:28:58.660
say, I'll get you in. I probably can't do it
00:28:58.660 --> 00:29:00.119
in person because that's a little bit hard for
00:29:00.119 --> 00:29:02.900
me to get to with my schedule, but I will get
00:29:02.900 --> 00:29:04.900
you into a consultate. We'll figure something
00:29:04.900 --> 00:29:09.539
out. How much of your practice is telehealth
00:29:09.539 --> 00:29:14.039
versus in person? I would say about 80 % is telehealth.
00:29:14.680 --> 00:29:20.440
Wow, that's a lot. Which I'm sure was kind of
00:29:20.440 --> 00:29:23.440
because of COVID because people couldn't like
00:29:23.440 --> 00:29:28.640
meet in person. And we're trying to change it
00:29:28.640 --> 00:29:33.579
now. They have such severe anxiety and other
00:29:33.579 --> 00:29:35.279
things. They're not going to leave the house.
00:29:36.200 --> 00:29:38.640
thing about COVID is a lot of people came to
00:29:38.640 --> 00:29:40.880
therapy that would have never come to therapy.
00:29:42.400 --> 00:29:46.079
They're not going to come into the office, but
00:29:46.079 --> 00:29:48.519
they'll show up all the time for telehealth.
00:29:50.400 --> 00:29:57.680
That's amazing. Has AI impacted the way you do
00:29:57.680 --> 00:30:01.319
things now in any way? I do have a lot of clients
00:30:01.319 --> 00:30:07.180
that look up everything on AI. And it seems like
00:30:07.180 --> 00:30:10.099
it's a friend. It seems like, and somehow AI
00:30:10.099 --> 00:30:15.500
remembers. Like, so if I go in and say, can someone
00:30:15.500 --> 00:30:21.500
get SSI and SSD at the age 45 and have a part
00:30:21.500 --> 00:30:24.079
-time job? Is that applicable? They'll give me
00:30:24.079 --> 00:30:26.660
an answer. Then I'll go back two weeks later,
00:30:27.099 --> 00:30:30.640
totally different clients say, my client wants
00:30:30.640 --> 00:30:33.779
SSI. How long does it take? Well, if you're talking
00:30:33.779 --> 00:30:37.720
about the client that has SSI and SSD, then I'm
00:30:37.720 --> 00:30:43.160
like, no, these are two different. Of course,
00:30:43.180 --> 00:30:46.359
I don't put any identifying information in the
00:30:46.359 --> 00:30:49.440
computer or anything, but I'm wondering for some
00:30:49.440 --> 00:30:52.680
people if that is almost like a friend or if
00:30:52.680 --> 00:30:55.039
that's almost like, because they found a lot
00:30:55.039 --> 00:30:57.380
of times, especially children and young adults,
00:30:57.839 --> 00:31:01.400
actually having conversations with AI. and thought
00:31:01.400 --> 00:31:04.519
it must be really real. So that I'm thinking
00:31:04.519 --> 00:31:06.779
in the future is probably going to be an issue.
00:31:07.900 --> 00:31:10.539
Yeah. What is kind of scary is we've already
00:31:10.539 --> 00:31:14.640
had reports of a couple of suicide because the
00:31:14.640 --> 00:31:18.440
chat GPT or whatever encourages them like, yeah,
00:31:18.440 --> 00:31:21.740
you should do it. And you're like, what the hell?
00:31:23.079 --> 00:31:26.259
It's like, don't get your therapy from a robot.
00:31:26.960 --> 00:31:30.980
But yeah, but hopefully. You will not have much
00:31:30.980 --> 00:31:37.180
of a complication. Yes. Yes. Because it's scary.
00:31:38.859 --> 00:31:41.900
I have a last question for you. I'm just kind
00:31:41.900 --> 00:31:46.619
of curious. Knowing what you know now, having
00:31:46.619 --> 00:31:50.359
experienced all this, changed jobs from being
00:31:50.359 --> 00:31:54.940
a potential lawyer to the social work and psychotherapy
00:31:54.940 --> 00:31:57.460
that you do. What would you tell your younger
00:31:57.460 --> 00:32:03.529
self? I would say keep following what your gut
00:32:03.529 --> 00:32:07.230
tells you. And even though everybody else is
00:32:07.230 --> 00:32:10.009
saying, you have to pick one thing. You have
00:32:10.009 --> 00:32:12.309
to choose one thing. You can't, because I do
00:32:12.309 --> 00:32:14.670
a lot of different types of careers too. And
00:32:14.670 --> 00:32:16.670
I've always been interested in so many things
00:32:16.670 --> 00:32:18.569
and everyone said, you've got to pick one. So
00:32:18.569 --> 00:32:21.569
I always felt like I was trying to always prove
00:32:21.569 --> 00:32:24.509
to everyone why I'm making this choice and why
00:32:24.509 --> 00:32:28.269
this. I just say, you know what, trust your gut.
00:32:28.569 --> 00:32:31.819
You can figure this out. Yes, you're going to
00:32:31.819 --> 00:32:33.680
be a trailblazer and it might not make sense
00:32:33.680 --> 00:32:36.519
to other people, but that's okay. Just keep doing
00:32:36.519 --> 00:32:38.920
the best you can and encourage others to do what
00:32:38.920 --> 00:32:42.460
they can. That's how we all find out who we are.
00:32:44.460 --> 00:32:47.740
That's wonderful advice. Thank you so much for
00:32:47.740 --> 00:32:50.299
being on our show. Thank you so much for having
00:32:50.299 --> 00:33:05.359
me. I have so many thoughts about psychotherapy
00:33:05.359 --> 00:33:11.740
in general. For a long time, I didn't believe
00:33:11.740 --> 00:33:14.839
in doing it. I think it's probably cultural.
00:33:16.220 --> 00:33:20.140
I think it's cultural. So, you know, my family
00:33:20.140 --> 00:33:22.680
background, we don't do that stuff. We don't
00:33:22.680 --> 00:33:28.230
go see people. In fact, my cousin had sort of
00:33:28.230 --> 00:33:32.349
a nervous breakdown way back when, right out
00:33:32.349 --> 00:33:37.809
of college. And he did not get any help and became
00:33:37.809 --> 00:33:42.089
a shut -in. And so he was like that for many,
00:33:42.170 --> 00:33:47.869
many years. I do see the value in it. I think
00:33:47.869 --> 00:33:55.319
that people should if they need help and My family's
00:33:55.319 --> 00:33:57.880
been touched with some other types of trauma
00:33:57.880 --> 00:34:02.779
that I wish those individuals had gotten help.
00:34:03.720 --> 00:34:08.440
And so, you know, listening to Alexa talk a lot
00:34:08.440 --> 00:34:11.739
about the types of clients she has and the types
00:34:11.739 --> 00:34:15.699
of situations she talks about, I was a little
00:34:15.699 --> 00:34:18.360
bit emotional inside. I didn't want to show it
00:34:18.360 --> 00:34:21.440
while we were recording because that would you
00:34:21.440 --> 00:34:27.300
know, detract from our conversation. The therapist
00:34:27.300 --> 00:34:30.840
would probably be called into action. Yeah. I
00:34:30.840 --> 00:34:33.440
think that there's just a lot, there's a lot
00:34:33.440 --> 00:34:37.440
around this type of job. And we can get into
00:34:37.440 --> 00:34:40.500
the specifics in a little bit, but I kind of
00:34:40.500 --> 00:34:42.980
wonder what your thoughts were regarding, you
00:34:42.980 --> 00:34:47.880
know, just our Alexis job and sort of what she
00:34:47.880 --> 00:34:51.369
sort of shared with us about her job and the
00:34:51.369 --> 00:34:55.170
things that she does. So I went to therapy every
00:34:55.170 --> 00:35:01.789
week for seven years. And I loved it. And I went
00:35:01.789 --> 00:35:03.449
through a couple of different therapists because
00:35:03.449 --> 00:35:05.769
I had some really crappy therapists at first.
00:35:06.190 --> 00:35:10.829
And then I found the therapist I had and she
00:35:10.829 --> 00:35:17.150
was great. And I loved her. And still it took
00:35:17.150 --> 00:35:21.960
me even Even after I graduated, she graduated
00:35:21.960 --> 00:35:25.440
me. She's like, you're just garden variety crazy
00:35:25.440 --> 00:35:27.639
at this point. But she didn't say garden variety
00:35:27.639 --> 00:35:31.139
crazy, but you just have whatever neurosis. We
00:35:31.139 --> 00:35:37.539
work in the big things. But even after that,
00:35:37.559 --> 00:35:43.039
it took me a while to do what I need to do for
00:35:43.039 --> 00:35:47.260
my mental health. Yeah, I'm a big believer in
00:35:47.260 --> 00:35:53.159
therapy. And it's funny, like, EDMR, I have like
00:35:53.159 --> 00:35:58.199
10 CDs of like training for EMDR. I have a lot
00:35:58.199 --> 00:36:02.820
of feelings about both therapy and EMDR, but
00:36:02.820 --> 00:36:06.260
I'm glad that she's found a way that it helps
00:36:06.260 --> 00:36:13.679
people. I think it's sort of cool. However, a
00:36:13.679 --> 00:36:16.150
lot of people have said that. you know the tapping
00:36:16.150 --> 00:36:19.489
and they they were afraid of water and now they're
00:36:19.489 --> 00:36:23.389
not and you know like they've had like a total
00:36:23.389 --> 00:36:26.650
metamorphosis and i think that's great um i'm
00:36:26.650 --> 00:36:31.110
a big believer in whatever do you do you boo
00:36:31.110 --> 00:36:35.329
like whatever makes you feel better you know
00:36:35.329 --> 00:36:37.250
so well for the most part i mean there are a
00:36:37.250 --> 00:36:39.210
lot of things out there that make people feel
00:36:39.210 --> 00:36:41.710
better but may not necessarily be good for them
00:36:41.710 --> 00:36:48.260
yeah don't take drugs But I do think, I guess
00:36:48.260 --> 00:36:52.340
one of the things that I really appreciated about
00:36:52.340 --> 00:36:57.960
Alexa's story is this pivot she made even in
00:36:57.960 --> 00:37:02.159
early on that she was on a path that she thought,
00:37:02.579 --> 00:37:07.179
oh, well, I'll do law. But then having a very
00:37:07.179 --> 00:37:13.860
significant experience to sort of lead her to
00:37:13.860 --> 00:37:17.059
a place where she felt like she was making a
00:37:17.059 --> 00:37:21.940
bigger impact and then helping individuals feel
00:37:21.940 --> 00:37:25.260
better about themselves, recognize their identity,
00:37:25.619 --> 00:37:28.480
all those kinds of things. I mean, it takes a
00:37:28.480 --> 00:37:33.119
special person to absorb all of that and still
00:37:33.119 --> 00:37:36.219
be sane. And it wasn't like it was an easier
00:37:36.219 --> 00:37:39.179
path. It wasn't like it was a, like... really
00:37:39.179 --> 00:37:42.099
great path. It seemed like she had a lot of people
00:37:42.099 --> 00:37:46.260
that were really mentally unbalanced that she
00:37:46.260 --> 00:37:50.119
was dealing with. And she liked it. I was like,
00:37:50.440 --> 00:37:54.940
you do you, that's great. I think it takes really
00:37:54.940 --> 00:38:03.039
a special kind of joy of life and also feeling
00:38:03.039 --> 00:38:07.420
a deep need to help people. to have somebody
00:38:07.420 --> 00:38:12.079
do this type of job. I mean, because it can pay
00:38:12.079 --> 00:38:15.260
well, but it doesn't necessarily always pay well
00:38:15.260 --> 00:38:19.000
because, no, because there's so many different
00:38:19.000 --> 00:38:26.940
avenues within this field. You can be a clinical
00:38:26.940 --> 00:38:29.619
social worker that might work for the state,
00:38:29.800 --> 00:38:32.230
might work for a hospital, might work. you know,
00:38:32.250 --> 00:38:34.889
in a lot of different places. You could be just
00:38:34.889 --> 00:38:37.289
a licensed professional counselor. You could
00:38:37.289 --> 00:38:41.550
do marriage and family therapy. You could become
00:38:41.550 --> 00:38:45.630
a psychiatrist. But they all require, you know,
00:38:45.730 --> 00:38:49.670
some of the basic education. Bachelor's degree,
00:38:50.429 --> 00:38:56.389
master's degree, and licensing. Yeah. And like...
00:38:56.190 --> 00:38:59.630
The salary range is not as high as I thought
00:38:59.630 --> 00:39:04.710
it would be like it's 59 to 99 and I thought
00:39:04.710 --> 00:39:08.989
it would be higher but I think a lot of these
00:39:08.989 --> 00:39:12.550
things that you can specialize in are Challenging
00:39:12.550 --> 00:39:20.510
like child therapy I'll be upsetting and LGBTQ
00:39:20.510 --> 00:39:25.289
Affirming, you know that those are those are
00:39:25.289 --> 00:39:29.809
some Very difficult situations that people are
00:39:29.809 --> 00:39:32.730
going through that you kind of help them through
00:39:32.730 --> 00:39:36.210
there there just are a lot of different avenues
00:39:36.210 --> 00:39:41.889
for this type of work and The job outlook is
00:39:41.889 --> 00:39:44.449
really high, but I was sort of mentioning earlier
00:39:44.449 --> 00:39:49.070
about this Idea of she has 60 clients. That's
00:39:49.070 --> 00:39:53.369
a lot of clients to manage Okay, you have 60
00:39:53.369 --> 00:39:57.219
clients in a week They're close to an hour, 45
00:39:57.219 --> 00:40:00.920
minutes to an hour. When are you sleeping? Like,
00:40:01.019 --> 00:40:05.079
oh my God. Well, that's you. Okay. So let's do
00:40:05.079 --> 00:40:09.039
the math really quickly. 60 clients in a week.
00:40:09.780 --> 00:40:12.400
You could have a 30 minute. You don't necessarily
00:40:12.400 --> 00:40:16.099
have to have an hour. Because telehealth doesn't
00:40:16.099 --> 00:40:18.639
always, I think telehealth is not always an hour
00:40:18.639 --> 00:40:21.730
long. So you could have some short ones. There
00:40:21.730 --> 00:40:25.429
is a huge opportunity in terms of employment.
00:40:26.849 --> 00:40:31.050
The job outlook is very high. But that also kind
00:40:31.050 --> 00:40:34.650
of goes back to my question to her about demand
00:40:34.650 --> 00:40:39.829
versus availability, is that because so many
00:40:39.829 --> 00:40:45.389
people need mental health support in whatever
00:40:45.389 --> 00:40:49.670
capacity, there are also lots of jobs needed.
00:40:51.309 --> 00:40:55.809
So for individuals who are concerned about AI,
00:40:57.170 --> 00:41:01.030
the AI part, I think that's the worst, is actually
00:41:01.030 --> 00:41:07.469
in the case of people using it to, it's internet
00:41:07.469 --> 00:41:13.280
doctor. It's the same kind of scenario. If there
00:41:13.280 --> 00:41:15.739
are more people out there who are looking for
00:41:15.739 --> 00:41:20.960
a job that is relatively AI -proof, it's human
00:41:20.960 --> 00:41:24.039
connection jobs, and this is really one of those
00:41:24.039 --> 00:41:30.380
jobs. Yes, and AI being your therapist is really
00:41:30.380 --> 00:41:35.760
scary because for whatever reason has not been
00:41:35.760 --> 00:41:40.650
programmed for that at all. It agrees with whatever
00:41:40.650 --> 00:41:44.510
kind of nonsense you say, and will support it,
00:41:44.610 --> 00:41:47.070
and yay, and say the right things. It's like,
00:41:47.389 --> 00:41:52.449
oh my God, do not try to get your AI to be your
00:41:52.449 --> 00:41:57.230
psychotherapist, please God. Well, we hope that
00:41:57.230 --> 00:42:01.369
people will recognize that a human being is a
00:42:01.369 --> 00:42:08.630
much better sounding board than a computer. to
00:42:08.630 --> 00:42:10.829
her point, there are people who have a lot of
00:42:10.829 --> 00:42:14.710
anxiety about meeting individuals, going out
00:42:14.710 --> 00:42:17.650
of their home. So I'm glad there are things like
00:42:17.650 --> 00:42:22.230
telehealth that are now implemented to help people.
00:42:22.889 --> 00:42:25.690
So you can still see that's a person. Yeah, at
00:42:25.690 --> 00:42:28.769
least one of the good things that came out of
00:42:28.769 --> 00:42:32.530
COVID is this ability to have a conversation
00:42:32.530 --> 00:42:37.519
with a doctor even via, you know, um video and
00:42:37.519 --> 00:42:40.760
and so in that regard there are lots of things
00:42:40.760 --> 00:42:43.420
that probably came out of covid that were just
00:42:43.420 --> 00:42:46.719
on its way we just kind of gave it a big push
00:42:46.719 --> 00:42:50.880
but uh i think if anybody is really interested
00:42:50.880 --> 00:42:54.239
in doing a job like this they they would definitely
00:42:54.239 --> 00:42:58.699
have lots of opportunity because there are many
00:42:58.699 --> 00:43:01.440
places that they could potentially do this job
00:43:01.440 --> 00:43:07.760
so if if you're looking at a very empathetic,
00:43:08.300 --> 00:43:11.880
impactful job, and you're willing to do the schooling
00:43:11.880 --> 00:43:14.980
for it, then this is a good job for you.
