WEBVTT
00:00:26.480 --> 00:00:27.199
Hi, everybody.
00:00:27.280 --> 00:00:28.879
Welcome to the right room.
00:00:29.039 --> 00:00:30.480
My name is Jane Carmel.
00:00:30.960 --> 00:00:32.799
And I'm Celeste Camps.
00:00:33.119 --> 00:00:38.240
And we are going to do the podcast today on risk.
00:00:38.719 --> 00:00:41.280
Our podcast focus today is on risk.
00:00:41.600 --> 00:00:44.000
Knowing you need to take that risk.
00:00:44.240 --> 00:00:45.920
I don't want to take the risk.
00:00:47.039 --> 00:00:49.759
But you know that many times it's important that you do.
00:00:50.159 --> 00:01:01.840
Even as uncomfortable as it seems, you have to decide: do I stay where I am, where I know it's not working out, or do I take that risk and have something better?
00:01:02.079 --> 00:01:04.159
And that is always that issue.
00:01:04.319 --> 00:01:16.719
I know it was for me years ago when I left a very good paying job and knew that if I stayed with it, I was just going to get more and more miserable.
00:01:17.040 --> 00:01:19.280
The job took my whole life.
00:01:19.519 --> 00:01:34.560
And I thought at this point, if I don't jump ship and decide that instead of expending all of this energy making somebody else rich, I could probably put all of that energy into myself and have my own business.
00:01:34.799 --> 00:01:40.719
And as scary as it was, the decision really was the best one I ever made.
00:01:40.879 --> 00:01:43.840
And Jane, I am sure that you have found that as well.
00:01:44.239 --> 00:01:48.879
You know, I I I don't consider myself a daredevil.
00:01:49.120 --> 00:01:57.519
I actually consider myself risk avert, adverse, um, because I I literally had a very phobic mother.
00:01:57.760 --> 00:02:01.120
So she put that fear of everything in me.
00:02:01.439 --> 00:02:05.519
And to to go out on a limb has always been terrifying.
00:02:05.760 --> 00:02:10.879
Um, I usually can do it, but I usually have something in front of me.
00:02:11.120 --> 00:02:16.960
A partner um in business, uh, a musical instrument when uh I was performing.
00:02:17.120 --> 00:02:20.560
So it was always a a little bit of, you know, a little bit of a buffer.
00:02:20.879 --> 00:02:28.400
But now that you know, even like this this podcast, this vodcast, the risk behind it is, you know, is it gonna work?
00:02:28.560 --> 00:02:29.840
Is it not going to work?
00:02:30.080 --> 00:02:32.000
Um, is my guest gonna show up?
00:02:32.400 --> 00:02:40.639
Um the the tension that that builds in you, um it almost it almost becomes debilitating to some people.
00:02:40.800 --> 00:02:43.759
And you know, how do you how do you deal with that?
00:02:44.080 --> 00:02:44.479
You know?
00:02:44.879 --> 00:02:51.919
Well, luckily we have somebody today that can address all of that.
00:02:52.159 --> 00:02:54.960
And she is here today to help us walk us through this.
00:02:55.199 --> 00:02:57.759
Please welcome Shane Coleman.
00:02:58.240 --> 00:02:58.479
Yay!
00:02:58.639 --> 00:03:00.319
Hey Shane, how are you?
00:03:01.280 --> 00:03:02.960
So good, so happy to be here.
00:03:03.439 --> 00:03:05.039
We're happy to have you.
00:03:06.319 --> 00:03:15.199
And we know that you do actually many things, and we asked you to pare it down to just one topic.
00:03:15.520 --> 00:03:22.479
And I like the topic that you picked, which is making that big decision even when you're unsure of yourself.
00:03:23.599 --> 00:03:25.919
So walk us through it.
00:03:26.560 --> 00:03:30.080
Yeah, well, I want to say, as entrepreneurs, we make bets.
00:03:30.240 --> 00:03:49.360
Like we are in a life that's like a casino, and it's really scary because essentially we're saying, I'm so great that I don't need a boss to tell me what to do, that I'm gonna wake up on time, I'm gonna take a shower, I'm gonna eat my breakfast.
00:03:49.599 --> 00:03:52.240
And there's actually nowhere to rush to.
00:03:52.479 --> 00:04:05.520
And that is really, you know, at the core, we've all been raised in school, where it's like, do this, come here, sit down, stand up, and anything outside of that, you get in trouble for.
00:04:06.080 --> 00:04:13.759
Um, so I was a preschool teacher and a therapist for little kids, and I saw the training, you know, happen.
00:04:14.080 --> 00:04:20.319
And so I, you talked about your mom, like my, I just didn't like authority.
00:04:20.480 --> 00:04:25.120
I just was like, I can do it better and different and more efficient, even in kindergarten.
00:04:25.439 --> 00:04:28.720
Um, I there's so many examples that just rush to my mind.
00:04:29.040 --> 00:04:32.319
And getting in trouble, I was like used to it already.
00:04:32.560 --> 00:04:38.079
So I think that gave me the permission to be like, I want to do what I want to do.
00:04:38.480 --> 00:04:44.879
Up until I was about 12, I reached puberty, and then I was like, I just want to fit in, I just want to belong.
00:04:45.279 --> 00:04:53.920
And so as an adult, it is a slippery slope, but I'm obsessed with um, I'm self-interested, I'm obsessed with personal development.
00:04:54.160 --> 00:05:06.720
And the scariest, most efficient place to grow and learn and make money is by being witnessed by strangers, doing your thing, making your offers, putting yourself out there.
00:05:07.040 --> 00:05:16.480
Because they don't know you're a nice person or you're kind, and they have their stories like, oh, you're a hustler, you want to make money, like, and that stuff all comes up.
00:05:16.720 --> 00:05:21.600
And so becoming an entrepreneur, it wasn't like I became an entrepreneur, I just was one.
00:05:22.240 --> 00:05:24.879
Um, and taking risk is a part of that.
00:05:24.959 --> 00:05:31.839
And I always think about I'm a New Yorker and I think about the guys that own or the women, whoever that own the bodegas or the corner stores.
00:05:31.920 --> 00:05:36.319
Like, I wonder if they think about risk or they're like, no, it's busy, it's a bus stop.
00:05:36.399 --> 00:05:38.480
We're gonna be, it's guaranteed.
00:05:39.199 --> 00:05:43.920
Um, and so, you know, taking a risk doesn't feel fun.
00:05:44.079 --> 00:05:52.959
I want everyone to know, like, even if we're all smiling and we look nice for the camera, you know, there's days where it's like, I'm not showering, I didn't eat, it's three o'clock.
00:05:53.120 --> 00:05:55.680
I where's the next money coming from?
00:05:56.000 --> 00:06:02.319
Um, and that's kind of the excitement, you know, the dopamine of like, where's it gonna come from?
00:06:02.480 --> 00:06:04.240
What's happening next?
00:06:04.720 --> 00:06:07.199
And where are coping mechanisms come in?
00:06:07.360 --> 00:06:10.399
Like, there's a lot of psychology around taking risk.
00:06:10.639 --> 00:06:21.600
And at the end of the day, if someone's gonna watch up until right now, I want them to know that sometimes you take the risk and the joy or the pleasure come afterwards.
00:06:22.160 --> 00:06:27.519
So it's not like, oh, I want to have fun, I want to be successful like these other people.
00:06:28.079 --> 00:06:30.399
You might feel horrible, terrible.
00:06:30.560 --> 00:06:40.079
You might eat two pies of pizza and take the risk, and then something happens, and you're like, oh my goodness, I'm real.
00:06:40.240 --> 00:06:41.680
People believe in me.
00:06:41.920 --> 00:06:45.839
Um, I just had a client, she calls herself Jen 3.0.
00:06:46.160 --> 00:06:49.360
Um, she's been a mother of two teenagers.
00:06:49.519 --> 00:06:56.319
She was a private investigator, she worked for an assembly woman, and now she's a postpartum doula.
00:06:56.639 --> 00:06:58.319
That's what she did while she was working with me.
00:06:58.480 --> 00:07:03.839
She got trained and and she was she'll love me anyway.
00:07:03.920 --> 00:07:05.360
She was really undercharging.
00:07:05.519 --> 00:07:12.480
And um, she's been a mother for 20 years and a caregiver and a natural doula, as far as I'm concerned.
00:07:12.720 --> 00:07:17.600
She's like, I'm just starting, you know, and her yeah, she was undercharging.
00:07:17.759 --> 00:07:21.600
And now she's raised her prices, she's taking it little bits at a time.
00:07:21.759 --> 00:07:23.279
Her prices are good.
00:07:23.839 --> 00:07:26.800
She has a wait list, she has people showing up.
00:07:26.959 --> 00:07:30.639
And she just posted this thing like, I'm doing it.
00:07:30.720 --> 00:07:33.120
It's my actual business, it's thriving.
00:07:33.279 --> 00:07:34.639
I have money coming.
00:07:34.800 --> 00:07:37.439
People are calling, I'm having meetings.
00:07:37.920 --> 00:07:44.879
And that joy of a little kid who's like, I won the game, is really important to share.
00:07:45.759 --> 00:07:46.959
So I want to take a breath.
00:07:47.199 --> 00:07:47.360
Go ahead.
00:07:49.199 --> 00:07:54.399
You know, I'm I'm what I'm hearing when you're when you're saying it is yes, there there's risk, of course.
00:07:54.480 --> 00:07:55.839
There's risk, there's reward.
00:07:56.160 --> 00:08:03.920
Um, sometimes there's a detriment to your, you know, a setback or or whatever that comes with it, and that uh otherwise it wouldn't be risky.
00:08:04.399 --> 00:08:20.319
Um, you know, but what I'm what I hear in what you're saying is um you know, people especially as as an entrepreneur, um, that risk embodies things like where does the next dollar come from?
00:08:20.639 --> 00:08:22.160
Uh am I gonna have clients?
00:08:22.720 --> 00:08:25.199
I am a profit acceleration strategist.
00:08:25.360 --> 00:08:35.360
So to hear you say your client was afraid to charge more um I always laugh because that's usually what exactly what you said is usually what happens.
00:08:35.519 --> 00:08:41.200
They'll they'll push back with a coach or a or a clo a consultant and say, I can't charge anymore.
00:08:41.360 --> 00:08:41.840
Are you kidding?
00:08:41.919 --> 00:08:43.200
I'll put myself out of business.
00:08:43.440 --> 00:08:47.440
And then they start to, and two things happen.
00:08:47.840 --> 00:08:55.120
They actually make more money, and then the risk, the fear of the risk, starts to fall away.
00:08:55.840 --> 00:09:09.840
That being said, do you have any um processes or systems that you work through with your clients to really help them put that risk at bay, you know, hold it at bay, uh, not to let the fear overwhelm them?
00:09:10.159 --> 00:09:10.639
Yes.
00:09:10.879 --> 00:09:14.000
And the name of my method is the unconventional icon.
00:09:14.080 --> 00:09:20.159
And here's why self-expression is the way in and the way out of fear.
00:09:20.320 --> 00:09:28.399
Um, and so I suggest to my clients go find an open mic, go get on the karaoke mic, go do a poetry reading.
00:09:28.559 --> 00:09:31.519
I mean, you could do it all online, but it's really interesting.
00:09:31.759 --> 00:09:36.879
It's interesting, I want to say that, to put your body through that process.
00:09:37.519 --> 00:09:42.000
And because the part of the brain that's like, I'm gonna die, actually takes over, right?
00:09:42.080 --> 00:09:50.639
That reptilian part that's like, I'm gonna die, and then you don't die, and then you're like, well, if I could do that, I could do anything.
00:09:50.879 --> 00:09:54.000
I just had another client, I was like, get to karaoke.
00:09:54.080 --> 00:09:57.200
She was like, I don't feel well, you know, really in a place.
00:09:57.360 --> 00:09:59.440
She was really fighting for her comfort.
00:09:59.679 --> 00:10:00.879
I know it very well.
00:10:01.039 --> 00:10:02.799
She went to karaoke.
00:10:03.120 --> 00:10:06.080
They didn't start on time, blah, blah, blah.
00:10:06.320 --> 00:10:07.919
She ended up singing.
00:10:08.240 --> 00:10:14.320
She ended up, the whole audience, she sang, I want it now from Willy Wonka.
00:10:14.399 --> 00:10:17.039
Like everybody was like, oh my goodness, we never hear that song.
00:10:17.120 --> 00:10:19.039
It was totally lit everyone up.
00:10:19.279 --> 00:10:28.879
A week later, she got invited to do a live DJ event, which is something she always wanted to do, and she'd been doing it online because of the pandemic.
00:10:29.279 --> 00:10:39.120
So it's like once you do one thing out of your comfort zone, it's like the actual body, the emotional body, is like, okay, I'm not gonna die.
00:10:39.200 --> 00:10:42.159
And and it's a literal, it's kind of logical.
00:10:42.720 --> 00:10:46.240
Um, and then if you do it once, then more things happen.
00:10:46.399 --> 00:10:55.279
So sometimes you sometimes, all the time, you have to go through the back end and give yourself an experience that has lower stakes.
00:10:55.519 --> 00:10:59.360
If your business, if you're in a family, you have to pay your mortgage.
00:10:59.440 --> 00:11:00.720
That's super high stakes.
00:11:00.879 --> 00:11:02.240
Of course you're afraid.
00:11:02.480 --> 00:11:04.960
Let me get a job, let me sell my stuff, you know.
00:11:05.039 --> 00:11:17.120
But in the at the same time, those things are not bad, you know, integrating jobs, selling stuff, but you just have to work around so that you freak yourself out enough that you're like, well, that could have been horrible, but it wasn't.
00:11:17.200 --> 00:11:18.159
So now I'll.
00:11:18.320 --> 00:11:22.320
So the unconventionality is in self-expression and the arts.
00:11:22.960 --> 00:11:28.320
Well, what happens if you have a client that really is stuck?
00:11:28.480 --> 00:11:32.159
I mean, that the idea of karaoke, nope, not doing it.
00:11:32.399 --> 00:11:35.120
Well, what about you take an improv class?
00:11:35.200 --> 00:11:36.480
Nope, not doing it.
00:11:36.639 --> 00:11:48.799
Are there people that you find that it's not that they're that they don't want to experience it, but the fear is is paralyzing.
00:11:48.960 --> 00:11:52.799
Is there something that you're able to do to help them work through that?
00:11:53.039 --> 00:11:55.600
Yes, I so love this as a follow-up question.
00:11:55.759 --> 00:12:01.360
So I'm an actor, and you're right, like some people are just like absolutely not.
00:12:01.600 --> 00:12:07.600
So another part, there's three parts of my method, and the the second part is really being with those parts.
00:12:07.759 --> 00:12:09.360
Like you said, frozen.
00:12:09.519 --> 00:12:10.960
Okay, I get frozen.
00:12:11.039 --> 00:12:12.559
I sit on the couch and I'm with my phone.
00:12:12.720 --> 00:12:14.000
I'm like, what am I doing?
00:12:14.240 --> 00:12:20.000
So we kind of give that part a role or a character, and we befriend it.
00:12:20.320 --> 00:12:28.799
And I there's no pushing, there's it's just real curiosity, deep curiosity of like, wow, what's it like to feel frozen?
00:12:29.120 --> 00:12:36.399
And a lot of times, you know, I'll have them close their eyes and take them on a journey, and a character shows up.
00:12:36.559 --> 00:12:37.600
It's it's real.
00:12:37.759 --> 00:12:44.080
Sometimes it's an animal, or sometimes it's a feeling, and we can relate it to a character.
00:12:44.159 --> 00:12:57.759
And sometimes people say, Oh, it was my third grade teacher, and you know, people emerge from the past that literally had an impact on our blueprint of how we cope with intensity.
00:12:58.000 --> 00:13:01.759
Um, one of my famous stories that I talk about is the birthday song, right?
00:13:01.919 --> 00:13:07.120
Everybody sings happy birthday, and you're like, Oh my god, I don't know what to do with myself.
00:13:07.679 --> 00:13:12.000
I recorded my friend's child, and I she was having fun.
00:13:12.080 --> 00:13:12.720
She's two.
00:13:12.879 --> 00:13:13.679
She was turning two.
00:13:13.759 --> 00:13:18.480
Oh, she was turning three, and her shoulders went forward and she put her head down.
00:13:18.559 --> 00:13:24.480
Like all of a sudden, all these adults had their phones up and they were singing loud because they loved her.
00:13:24.639 --> 00:13:27.279
But she was like, Ooh, what is going on?
00:13:27.440 --> 00:13:29.120
No words, just her body.
00:13:29.279 --> 00:13:37.279
And a lot of us, right there, that was a snapshot in her body of what's it like to get attention, and she was totally shrinking.
00:13:37.759 --> 00:13:41.919
So we have to have compassion for these parts and not push through.
00:13:42.080 --> 00:13:47.200
Like this, I'll call it bro type marketing that's like big mission, go do it.
00:13:47.440 --> 00:13:49.519
It's actually re-traumatizing.
00:13:49.600 --> 00:13:58.399
So if you don't, you don't want to get to the bottom of it, you just want to look at it as if it was a movie or a play and be like, wow, that's so interesting.
00:13:58.720 --> 00:14:05.759
And then at the end, after the journey, it's like you check in with that part again, and that part's like taking a nap.
00:14:05.840 --> 00:14:07.759
And you're like, okay, I can go do my life.
00:14:11.360 --> 00:14:12.879
I'm fascinated with this now.
00:14:13.039 --> 00:14:18.559
Um do you think that I again I'm gonna go back to my mom.
00:14:18.720 --> 00:14:28.159
Um, you know, phobias, uh fears, completely, you know, phobia being an irrational fear, the the walls don't close in, the those kind of things, stage fright.
00:14:28.240 --> 00:14:33.279
I mean, the the best thing, the closest thing that I can tell you that I've ever experienced has been stage fright.
00:14:33.840 --> 00:14:53.039
Um but I noticed that as I've gotten older, um the concept of pushing myself out of my comfort zone um is something, you know, like again, being a New Yorker, I say, Oh come on, all this, you know BS of of of you know, your mind and your body and all of this.
00:14:53.279 --> 00:14:57.919
Um I kinda poo-poo it and then I started to really listen to it.
00:14:58.240 --> 00:15:10.960
And um I guess my thing is does there come a point where it becomes um easier once you're out of your comfort zone?
00:15:11.200 --> 00:15:22.559
Um is it is it a continual if you're if you're out of if you all of a sudden are comfortable, are you looking for another challenge?
00:15:22.720 --> 00:15:26.320
Uh is it easier to find another challenge to push you?
00:15:26.399 --> 00:15:33.200
Is it I guess what I'm trying to say is when you become comfortable, it's time to get uncomfortable again.
00:15:33.519 --> 00:15:33.840
Right?
00:15:34.080 --> 00:15:34.399
Yeah.
00:15:34.799 --> 00:15:36.480
Otherwise there's no growth.
00:15:37.120 --> 00:15:37.759
Yeah.
00:15:38.080 --> 00:15:39.519
Yeah, it's I love it.
00:15:39.600 --> 00:15:41.519
You know, wait, did you want to say something else?
00:15:41.759 --> 00:15:47.919
No, I was gonna say, so how would you um you know, like I'm I'm almost thinking that your job your work is finite.
00:15:48.000 --> 00:15:57.279
It's because the way it sounds like, okay, well, you know, I'm I'm nervous about this and I don't want to do that, and I don't like the risk, but Shane's gonna work with me, and once it's gone, it's gone.
00:15:57.519 --> 00:16:07.279
And my point is to it really should be like this continuing, long drawn out, let's let's get the next challenge and the next challenge.
00:16:07.440 --> 00:16:08.559
Do you work with your customers?
00:16:08.720 --> 00:16:09.919
Were your clients like that?
00:16:10.080 --> 00:16:14.720
Do you do you um push that that way of thinking?
00:16:15.039 --> 00:16:17.039
Yeah, I almost thought you were gonna say edge.
00:16:17.120 --> 00:16:18.320
It is edge pushing.
00:16:18.480 --> 00:16:18.879
Right.
00:16:19.120 --> 00:16:25.919
Um, you know, I created this business for myself because I can be really stuck.
00:16:26.159 --> 00:16:30.559
And so, who am I to help people if I don't keep pushing myself?
00:16:30.799 --> 00:16:40.240
And so it's this constant, you know, revolving elevator of like, what's next for me inspires my clients.
00:16:40.320 --> 00:16:42.799
And then they inspire me, and it keeps on going.
00:16:42.879 --> 00:16:45.039
And the stakes get higher.
00:16:45.440 --> 00:16:47.840
So, self-expression, no problem.
00:16:48.000 --> 00:16:48.480
I love it.
00:16:48.639 --> 00:16:51.440
I still get some nerves, but I use it as energy.
00:16:51.600 --> 00:16:55.759
Um, recently I started going dipping in the ocean during this winter.
00:16:56.080 --> 00:17:00.639
That is not only out of my comfort zone, but I don't like physical challenges.
00:17:00.799 --> 00:17:05.599
I don't do roller coasters, I don't ice skate, you know, I'm like comfort queen.
00:17:05.759 --> 00:17:08.720
Every room I live in a small house has a couch in it.
00:17:08.880 --> 00:17:11.440
Like, I really like my comfort.
00:17:11.759 --> 00:17:20.400
Um, and I went to one of our, I'm on the board of Rockaway Creates, and this guy shows up and he starts giving me my own rap about going in the ocean.
00:17:20.480 --> 00:17:22.640
And I was like, Yeah, okay, buddy, it's not for me.
00:17:22.720 --> 00:17:25.279
You know, I'm delicate, all this stuff.
00:17:25.440 --> 00:17:28.000
And I was like, okay, this is an opportunity.
00:17:28.559 --> 00:17:33.359
He's giving me my own, you know, if you do it, you never know what else could happen in your life.
00:17:33.440 --> 00:17:40.559
And I'm like rolling my eyes, and I got to embody what it might be like for a really shy person to meet me.
00:17:40.799 --> 00:17:42.319
And I started doing it.
00:17:42.559 --> 00:17:48.079
And so that is like my latest example of going completely out of my comfort zone.
00:17:48.319 --> 00:17:51.200
Once I go on a stage, I kill it every single time.
00:17:51.359 --> 00:17:56.000
Like, even if I think I'm not, people don't remember, and then they say I did great.
00:17:56.240 --> 00:18:06.160
And so for me, going out of my comfort zone is like budgeting my money, you know, things that are just very left-brained or physically uncomfortable.
00:18:06.400 --> 00:18:09.440
I'm doing a 5K walk of marathon something.
00:18:09.519 --> 00:18:11.759
I'm like, ugh, what did I sign up for?
00:18:11.920 --> 00:18:16.319
You know, but it's like you have to know what your next what the next stakes are.
00:18:16.480 --> 00:18:31.279
And a lot of times as a as a mentor and a coach, I'm the person people are like, ugh, leave me alone, you know, but they they pay because they want to get out of their little bubble of comfort.
00:18:31.759 --> 00:18:44.319
Um so when you when you are doing this, now I would imagine that your customers, your clients, they are varied.
00:18:44.480 --> 00:18:49.759
They come from differ different backgrounds, different cultures, different mindsets.
00:18:50.480 --> 00:19:02.960
So I am thinking that it you are having to pretty much customize these processes, but is that something that you present to them?
00:19:03.119 --> 00:19:10.559
Is it something that after speaking with them and giving an assessment that you put together a plan of action?
00:19:10.799 --> 00:19:18.240
Or is there something that is a checklist and it's universal and it's we're going one through 10?
00:19:18.480 --> 00:19:20.079
I love that question too.
00:19:20.319 --> 00:19:32.000
So I don't love structure, but I love systems because to me, systems are a placement of what can happen and the chaos can happen in between.
00:19:32.240 --> 00:19:34.960
So my method is the unconventional icon.
00:19:35.119 --> 00:19:36.720
There's three stages.
00:19:36.799 --> 00:19:46.720
Um, the first one is open the golden door, and the second is awkward alchemy, which I shared about with the um the characters and the frozen pieces.
00:19:46.960 --> 00:19:48.960
And the third is strut the stage.
00:19:49.119 --> 00:19:50.799
They can happen in any order.
00:19:51.039 --> 00:20:07.759
You can go back to them because what I really want that I really want more in the coaching industry is sustainability, like having a coach that you're, you know, codependent with and you can't grow if you're not working with them.
00:20:08.000 --> 00:20:11.599
There's so much money being, I'll say wasted on stuff like that.
00:20:11.759 --> 00:20:18.799
And so these three stages, when I ask my clients that are in my group program, what stage are you at?
00:20:18.960 --> 00:20:19.920
They now know.
00:20:20.240 --> 00:20:23.759
And if they know the stage they're in, they know the process.
00:20:23.920 --> 00:20:28.000
And uh the first stage is about rambling, just rambling like a child.
00:20:28.240 --> 00:20:35.440
And the second stage is called awkward alchemy, and it's really changing around any feelings that are keeping oneself stuck.
00:20:35.599 --> 00:20:38.559
And strut the stage is when you're going outward.
00:20:38.799 --> 00:20:41.759
So the first two stages are really in hiding.
00:20:41.920 --> 00:20:48.640
And a lot of my clients are like in hiding in some way because they care so much that they're fragile.
00:20:48.799 --> 00:20:50.000
You know, we're all fragile.
00:20:50.160 --> 00:20:59.680
It's like the loudest, I won't say any names, but the loudest people that are confident and boasting their BS, they're not caring.
00:20:59.839 --> 00:21:01.680
They've sort of desensitized.
00:21:01.839 --> 00:21:04.880
And so the people I work with are pretty sensitive.
00:21:05.200 --> 00:21:10.960
Um, and they care so much that if somebody's like, this is B, we don't know what you're talking about.
00:21:11.039 --> 00:21:15.119
Oh, now you're trying something new, that they're gonna be devastated.
00:21:15.359 --> 00:21:22.240
So having these three stages gives them somewhere to be devastated and not be wrong about it.
00:21:22.319 --> 00:21:24.079
Oh, good, I'm glad I'm bringing this up.
00:21:24.319 --> 00:21:29.599
Um, but they're right in their devastation and they know what to do with it.
00:21:29.839 --> 00:21:39.039
So it doesn't last 20 years, or they don't give up, or they don't end up giving their stuff away for free, you know, stuff like that.
00:21:39.119 --> 00:21:49.359
Or they have like a beta program, like the things that entrepreneurs do that make them like, I know I'm not that good, but if you work with me, I'll do all the free things.
00:21:49.519 --> 00:21:58.000
And then it just proves to them they couldn't do it to begin with, and then they quit, and then they think that entrepreneur is just a scary big monster.
00:21:58.799 --> 00:21:59.759
And that makes sense.
00:22:00.720 --> 00:22:10.799
And that also how I mean you must then come up with circumstances where somebody is dead set.
00:22:11.039 --> 00:22:18.319
This is their job, this is their new business, this is their big idea, and they are going to plow through.
00:22:18.640 --> 00:22:23.039
And yet that's setback after setback after setback.
00:22:23.839 --> 00:22:30.880
Do you at some point either tell them maybe it's a dead end?
00:22:31.279 --> 00:22:38.799
Or is there something that they're not learning that there's another path that they're not seeing?
00:22:39.039 --> 00:22:40.400
I mean, how does that work out?
00:22:40.640 --> 00:22:48.000
Because I can't tell you how many stories I've heard of people just okay, I'm giving up.
00:22:48.400 --> 00:22:50.000
They can't make this work.
00:22:50.160 --> 00:23:07.759
And then the very next day it's like a door opened up and they're on a whole new path that they wish they had figured out maybe some time ago, but maybe it just the timing wasn't there, or their intention was misguided.
00:23:08.160 --> 00:23:17.759
Have you come across that kind of circumstance and be able to help that person go, okay, maybe not here, but let's try this path.
00:23:18.880 --> 00:23:26.240
Yeah, you know, it's like you can go kicking and screaming, or you can go with a little bit of curiosity.
00:23:26.400 --> 00:23:30.720
And there are people who really want to fight for their limitations.
00:23:31.119 --> 00:23:33.759
Um, and then it would be like my fault, let's say.
00:23:33.839 --> 00:23:36.000
That hasn't happened in a really long time.
00:23:36.559 --> 00:23:39.200
Um, but I'm really not here to push an agenda.
00:23:39.359 --> 00:23:44.160
Sometimes I do get attached to people's success because I'm like, oh, it's so right.
00:23:44.319 --> 00:23:45.279
I have a client.
00:23:45.440 --> 00:23:47.759
We're working together about five or six years.
00:23:48.000 --> 00:23:52.240
She's done so many like shots on goal, I call them.
00:23:52.720 --> 00:23:54.559
She finally said something.
00:23:54.720 --> 00:23:56.480
She's like, I don't want to work with adults.
00:23:56.640 --> 00:23:58.240
I'm so hard on myself.
00:23:58.319 --> 00:23:59.680
I feel like they're all judging me.
00:23:59.839 --> 00:24:03.680
She's a highly intelligent administrator in education.
00:24:04.640 --> 00:24:11.759
So now she's changed it around and she's helping, they're like graduate speech therapists.
00:24:11.839 --> 00:24:15.039
So they're younger, maybe they're 21, right, you know, right out of college.
00:24:15.279 --> 00:24:19.839
She already has 15 signups from a post she posted two weeks ago.
00:24:20.960 --> 00:24:23.680
She's not doing her marketing every day.
00:24:24.000 --> 00:24:27.599
She's been working at a job she kind of doesn't want to be at anymore.
00:24:27.680 --> 00:24:29.359
It's like an agency type thing.
00:24:29.599 --> 00:24:33.680
She makes a lot of money, so she has her lifestyle, but she's miserable.
00:24:34.160 --> 00:24:37.759
There's something innate in us that doesn't let us give up.
00:24:37.920 --> 00:24:42.000
And if the person is like, I'm done, then I'm like, you know what?
00:24:42.160 --> 00:24:43.920
Great, let's put this on hold, come back.
00:24:44.000 --> 00:24:45.680
I mean, that's never happened.
00:24:45.920 --> 00:24:49.039
Um, but you know, people are in charge of their own lives.
00:24:49.119 --> 00:24:50.640
Like I had a grumpy client.
00:24:50.799 --> 00:24:56.160
She was like, I know what to do, I'm just not doing it for a lot of weeks in a row.
00:24:56.720 --> 00:25:02.640
So, you know, my job as a mentor is like know when to push and know when to like get curious.
00:25:02.960 --> 00:25:05.839
Um, she ended up going to a yoga.
00:25:05.920 --> 00:25:08.079
She's not living in a place she likes, she hates it.
00:25:08.160 --> 00:25:09.680
She went to a yoga class.
00:25:09.920 --> 00:25:14.240
The owner happens to be from New York, and now she has a relationship.
00:25:14.400 --> 00:25:15.920
Now she's moving her body.
00:25:16.160 --> 00:25:21.359
So sometimes, and I just got this feedback, it's not about working on your business.
00:25:21.519 --> 00:25:31.759
Just like put that aside, go to the back end, get in nature, touch the earth, you know, go hold a baby at the hospital, like change the game in your head.
00:25:32.000 --> 00:25:38.240
Because when we get to that white knuckling place, it's like if you hold tight, you get pins and needles.
00:25:38.319 --> 00:25:42.640
There's no flow, there's no oxygen, there's no place to receive.
00:25:42.960 --> 00:25:50.319
And so this is where I'm really into the divine feminine principles of life, which is relationships and nature.
00:25:50.480 --> 00:25:52.319
I love what I'm feeling from you, Jane.
00:25:52.559 --> 00:25:56.160
And and when you're in that place, like nature's perfect.
00:25:56.319 --> 00:25:58.480
I have these beautiful flowers.
00:25:58.640 --> 00:26:02.079
If I wasn't, you know, situated, they're perfect.
00:26:02.319 --> 00:26:10.720
And so if we start to think of ourselves as perfect and whole and right, we can't mess up.
00:26:10.799 --> 00:26:15.920
And if we get so angry, then you can dance it out, or like don't take a shower for a week.
00:26:16.000 --> 00:26:17.599
Let's see what happens, you know.
00:26:17.839 --> 00:26:21.680
Like, there's some rooms that you can go throw pots and pans.
00:26:21.759 --> 00:26:26.720
You could take, I have all my clients get a wiffle ball bat and like beat the bed once in a while.
00:26:26.960 --> 00:26:35.359
You have energy in your body, and if it's not being expressed, sickness happens, frustration, stuckness.
00:26:35.920 --> 00:26:44.640
Um, but my first, you know, stage of rambling, it's like just ramble that stuff out, get it out of your head, and then see what's next.
00:26:44.799 --> 00:26:46.000
So there's always a way.
00:26:46.079 --> 00:26:53.680
I do lean a lot on like movement and body, because if you're just living your life from your head, your mind is not your friend.
00:26:53.759 --> 00:27:02.000
You know, you can prove whatever case study you're you could prove you're garbage or you could prove you're amazing in the same 10 minutes.
00:27:02.799 --> 00:27:04.640
You know what's funny as you're talking.
00:27:04.720 --> 00:27:11.519
I'm listening and I'm saying to myself, I know some I know somebody that could fit into every box that you're describing.
00:27:11.680 --> 00:27:27.519
Um, you know, again, going back to what I do is is when I and I and I know Shane through Rockaway Creates and and um actually I know Shane further back than that was um Women's Speaker Association, where I met Celeste as well.
00:27:27.759 --> 00:27:29.680
So um thanks to them.
00:27:29.839 --> 00:27:37.839
Um but uh to be honest with you, one of the things that I find with my clients, again, is it's all mindset, like you said.
00:27:38.079 --> 00:27:44.640
Um one of the courses that I take is I've taken is something called receiving your riches.
00:27:45.039 --> 00:27:52.000
Um and it's based on the principle of if you have more, you can do more.
00:27:52.240 --> 00:28:00.559
You everybody's talking about being socially responsible and being uh benevolent and being empathetic, which is all what you just said now.
00:28:00.880 --> 00:28:13.200
Your clients your clients sounds like it t they tend to be more empathetic and they take things to heart and they get hurt and they want more out of the people they deal with.
00:28:14.400 --> 00:28:26.960
It's good to know that you can do more with more, and just like you said, I think I think you know, br bringing together everything that you said with all the examples that you used, it's a positive mindset.
00:28:27.119 --> 00:28:33.519
If you're coming, if you're coming in from a negative, you're not gonna get more, you're going to probably get less.
00:28:33.839 --> 00:28:40.400
Um, but if you are open to it and you can receive riches, and riches being anything, everybody always talks about money.
00:28:40.559 --> 00:28:45.119
I know as an entrepreneur, listen, sometimes you have the money, sometimes you don't.
00:28:45.519 --> 00:28:49.519
But you the wealth of what you learn, the wealth of what you know.
00:28:49.759 --> 00:28:52.400
Like I'm sitting here listening to this and I'm going, wow.
00:28:52.640 --> 00:28:53.920
I never thought of it that way.
00:28:54.000 --> 00:29:15.440
And and it's just a constant learning, it's a constant taking in of information, it's how you can use it, who we can direct to you or anyone else that has these these fantastic programs and and and um mindsets that can really change the game for you personally as well as in business.
00:29:15.599 --> 00:29:21.119
I I think it's just really awesome and and uh really clear-cut the way you've said it.
00:29:21.519 --> 00:29:22.240
That's really good.
00:29:22.799 --> 00:29:23.200
Thanks.
00:29:23.359 --> 00:29:23.680
Yeah.
00:29:24.559 --> 00:29:29.759
Yeah, I like the way that you have, like you said, you have a process to bring them through.
00:29:29.920 --> 00:29:33.680
And it's interesting too, because you are also learning a lot.
00:29:33.839 --> 00:29:37.839
Because the more you help people, the more it really does help you.
00:29:37.920 --> 00:29:45.359
And I think that's where a lot of people I think when they feel stuck, I I tell them, go help somebody.
00:29:46.480 --> 00:29:49.359
Yeah, get out of your head, go help somebody.
00:29:49.440 --> 00:30:00.079
And I like that that is something that you are also letting people understand that that is what we're all supposed to be doing anyway.
00:30:00.240 --> 00:30:04.319
We're all supposed to be here helping and learning.
00:30:04.640 --> 00:30:08.720
And the only way we could do that is by connecting.
00:30:09.200 --> 00:30:22.160
And I think that's a great way to yes, bring everything full circle in in in terms of knowing that yes, you're taking a risk, but we're here for you to take that risk.
00:30:22.400 --> 00:30:38.160
And I think that's something that Jane and I were hoping to do with the Right Room is to bring a community together that realizes that we are going to share tips, tricks, and techniques because it also reinforces what we are trying to do.
00:30:38.400 --> 00:30:44.240
The more we can help, the more we learn, and the more we understand the value in all of that.
00:30:44.720 --> 00:30:45.200
Yeah.
00:30:45.440 --> 00:30:46.880
You know, you just said something.
00:30:47.039 --> 00:30:49.039
I hope I don't let it slip out of my mind.
00:30:49.200 --> 00:30:58.799
Oh, you know, we're built certain ways to not do things alone, where it's it literally is parts of our brain that are like, this is dangerous, don't do it.
00:30:59.039 --> 00:31:14.960
And when you have someone in front of you that's like, oh, I just did that, I can hold your hand, it really gives us more softness to be willing, you know, and it's that willingness that is why we need each other.
00:31:15.200 --> 00:31:20.400
And so I hear so many people who are stuck and they're like, I can't afford a mentor right now.
00:31:20.559 --> 00:31:24.160
And it's like, you can't afford to not have a mentor right now.
00:31:24.400 --> 00:31:28.400
There's everything, we're not creating anything brand new here.
00:31:28.640 --> 00:31:32.400
There's tons of free stuff, there's tons of self-study programs.
00:31:32.640 --> 00:31:35.680
I have an obscene amount of books.
00:31:36.079 --> 00:31:41.599
But there's nothing more magical than getting on when you have full attention.
00:31:41.839 --> 00:31:45.440
And you know, when you have a friend, they have their own agenda of what they want to talk about.
00:31:45.599 --> 00:31:52.960
But when you have full attention from someone who's neutral and just wants the best for you, it's absolutely priceless.
00:31:53.119 --> 00:31:57.440
I've spent over 200K on my self-development and I plan on spending more.
00:31:57.519 --> 00:32:01.759
And I started out like making a$25 deposit to my first coach.
00:32:01.920 --> 00:32:03.759
I had$200 to my name.
00:32:03.920 --> 00:32:06.480
There's a risk, but I was like, well, what am I gonna get?
00:32:06.559 --> 00:32:08.880
A job and I'm unemployable.
00:32:08.960 --> 00:32:10.640
I am not working for anybody.
00:32:10.880 --> 00:32:20.799
So it's just like knowing that you get, you know, and this is more woo-woo, but you get um fed back when you take risks.
00:32:20.960 --> 00:32:26.799
The universe sees like, oh, well, let's, it's not even like gray, it's black and white.
00:32:26.960 --> 00:32:28.160
Oh, that's a risk.
00:32:28.319 --> 00:32:29.200
Here's more.
00:32:29.359 --> 00:32:37.039
Like my karaoke client who then got a live DJ event, that was not in her field of like she wanted it three years ago.
00:32:37.119 --> 00:32:38.960
It wasn't like she was working towards it.
00:32:39.119 --> 00:32:40.480
Of course, she's freaking out about it.
00:32:40.559 --> 00:32:43.039
She's not like, oh, cool, my life is now amazing.
00:32:43.279 --> 00:32:45.279
But at least she has an opportunity.
00:32:45.519 --> 00:32:51.039
She might go through the same process of not wanting to leave the house and blah, blah, blah, but she's still gonna go.
00:32:51.200 --> 00:32:52.880
And maybe that's who she is, right?
00:32:52.960 --> 00:32:57.599
Like, look at some of our comedians, their whole shtick is about complaining, you know.
00:32:57.759 --> 00:32:59.759
That's what they do, it's human.
00:33:00.880 --> 00:33:02.400
Yeah, like I got it.
00:33:02.480 --> 00:33:06.240
I just from what you said, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?
00:33:06.480 --> 00:33:07.440
All the way around.
00:33:07.599 --> 00:33:09.680
So definitely.
00:33:10.240 --> 00:33:10.559
Okay.
00:33:11.359 --> 00:33:13.039
Where are we going, Celeste?
00:33:13.599 --> 00:33:18.720
Well, I think that you you actually opened the door about how you started.
00:33:19.039 --> 00:33:21.680
So here you are,$200 to your name.
00:33:21.759 --> 00:33:23.440
You're risking$25.
00:33:24.480 --> 00:33:28.079
And uh, is that something you'd like to share with us?
00:33:28.240 --> 00:33:32.960
About it sounds like, yeah, you you stepped into your own risk taking.
00:33:34.000 --> 00:33:41.200
Yeah, well, right before then, I was a therapist for children with autism, and I was doing a whole bunch of learning.
00:33:41.359 --> 00:33:46.079
So my path of learning has been um children with autism.
00:33:46.240 --> 00:33:49.920
I used to work in gentlemen's clubs, so that was a whole bunch of learning.
00:33:50.160 --> 00:34:00.240
And then um, I like how I titled that, and then um then I worked with children in prison, like teenagers in prison, incarcerated youth.
00:34:00.480 --> 00:34:08.480
And I always use some form of connection to who they who was in front of me and exactly where they were at.
00:34:08.960 --> 00:34:12.320
So that's the the pass.
00:34:12.800 --> 00:34:20.400
Then I met an my improv acting teacher who it was based on saying no, and it saved my life.
00:34:20.719 --> 00:34:24.480
I was negative Nelly, so judgmental.
00:34:24.559 --> 00:34:25.760
I was self-loathing.
00:34:25.920 --> 00:34:36.800
You wouldn't have reckoned only my teacher could talk about how triggerable I was and how I just didn't even know the word embodiment, let alone experiencing it.
00:34:36.880 --> 00:34:40.719
I was just a really angry, sad, I just wanted to belong.
00:34:40.880 --> 00:34:44.960
I was giving advice, I was angry, and it was seeping out all over the place.
00:34:45.119 --> 00:34:50.719
And I went to this improv work and I dropped my social life for two years.
00:34:50.880 --> 00:34:53.039
I only went to this class.
00:34:53.519 --> 00:34:55.360
No dates, no friends.
00:34:55.440 --> 00:34:58.960
And I had a large group of like party friends and all that, and I didn't go.
00:34:59.039 --> 00:34:59.760
I stopped.
00:34:59.920 --> 00:35:04.000
And I invited everyone to this class because I was like a bully about it.
00:35:04.320 --> 00:35:10.400
Um, and I continued for the next eight years, so for 10 years, but the first two I did nothing else.
00:35:10.639 --> 00:35:15.920
And I learned these methods that I was working with children at the time and working with their parents.
00:35:16.079 --> 00:35:26.800
I'm like, they need to know this because it was play, it was being real in imaginary circumstances with a with um intensity of no.
00:35:27.360 --> 00:35:31.519
And so what that gave me was permission to have my feelings.
00:35:32.079 --> 00:35:39.599
And that took me for a ride, and um I needed this work to get out there, and I knew I needed a coach.
00:35:39.840 --> 00:35:49.519
There was somebody in class that was like, when you don't know what to do, she gives you a piece of paper, she gives you a script, and I was like, I need cheat sheets, I don't know what I'm doing.
00:35:49.760 --> 00:35:56.480
Um, and I already had a business card, like so to me, it was it wasn't, I didn't even think about the risk.
00:35:56.639 --> 00:35:57.920
I was just like, I need help.
00:35:58.079 --> 00:35:59.519
I don't know what to do.
00:35:59.760 --> 00:36:07.920
Um, I'm not someone or I wasn't someone who asked for help, but if I had to pay for it and it's a teacher, I was like, okay, that makes sense.
00:36:08.079 --> 00:36:11.199
I wasn't asking for personal free help.
00:36:11.440 --> 00:36:14.079
Um and that changed my life.
00:36:14.159 --> 00:36:16.800
It saved my life, and I used it with everyone.
00:36:16.960 --> 00:36:19.280
I used it with the four-year-old who was nonverbal.
00:36:19.440 --> 00:36:28.079
I used it with a mother, and a lot of it's based on mirror neurons, you know, mirroring the neurons and meeting the person of where that where they're at.
00:36:28.320 --> 00:36:31.519
And I grew up with teachers that were like, I'm better than you.
00:36:31.760 --> 00:36:35.199
I'm gonna, you know, very authoritarian, very mean.
00:36:35.360 --> 00:36:42.000
I was always out, you know, outside in the hallway because I was in trouble for talking, by the way.
00:36:42.320 --> 00:36:45.840
So it's like what I do now is talk.
00:36:46.000 --> 00:36:48.239
Like, this is where my money comes from.
00:36:48.559 --> 00:36:53.599
And they were telling me to shut up, you know, whatever, that's a different time, a different place.
00:36:53.920 --> 00:36:56.559
But I've always taken those risks.
00:36:56.719 --> 00:37:00.480
And that, you know, from the improv, I was like, everyone needs to learn this.
00:37:00.559 --> 00:37:03.119
And if they're not coming here, I'm gonna go out in the world.
00:37:03.360 --> 00:37:10.559
And my teachers invested in me so much, like they really showed me unconditional love.
00:37:11.039 --> 00:37:17.519
Um, it was more than an acting class, you know, and it was the same eight to ten people every week for two years.
00:37:17.840 --> 00:37:29.119
So now I experienced real community, and I couldn't prove that I was a piece of garbage because these people had seen my heart and my soul.
00:37:29.440 --> 00:37:32.159
And to everyone else, I would fight for my limitations.
00:37:32.320 --> 00:37:38.639
So I got on the fast track of really, you know, all the work that I'm here to do today.
00:37:38.800 --> 00:37:45.679
And they were so smart and they knew they were special people to invest in me because I'm like, I'm moving this forward tomorrow.
00:37:45.760 --> 00:37:47.360
I gotta learn this, you know.
00:37:47.519 --> 00:37:49.840
Um let me ask you a question, Shane.
00:37:50.079 --> 00:38:00.559
You said something, you touched on something that um even on your worst day, these people wouldn't let you fall into the worst of what you could be.
00:38:01.119 --> 00:38:04.800
So the the the importance of community, I mean it's it's huge, right?
00:38:06.239 --> 00:38:10.480
We were doing a scene and it was something about a donut shop.
00:38:10.880 --> 00:38:13.280
And you know, weight is something funny for me.
00:38:13.360 --> 00:38:20.719
And I thought they all got together, and I thought this was my mind that they were gonna have an intervention that I should be thinner.
00:38:21.039 --> 00:38:22.400
It was crazy.
00:38:22.559 --> 00:38:24.079
It was so real for me.
00:38:24.239 --> 00:38:25.599
I ran to the bathroom.
00:38:25.760 --> 00:38:33.679
I was like, you know, it was like somebody else put a pillow in, they wanted like playing with costumes, and I thought, like, they're really just making fun of me.
00:38:33.760 --> 00:38:38.000
It was so twisted, you know, saying it, but I literally ran to the bed.
00:38:38.239 --> 00:38:42.800
So they saw the worst of my moments that I would never show anybody.
00:38:43.039 --> 00:38:51.119
And they still loved me, and they we took time to digest it and open it up, and I had never been loved like that before.
00:38:51.280 --> 00:38:54.000
I would never even show up to share that stuff.
00:38:54.239 --> 00:39:07.199
I remember once I went on a very depressed day and I just sat quietly and I wasn't the Shane show, like people think, and I for me to leave the house on a day like that, to be seen by strangers.
00:39:07.360 --> 00:39:15.039
You know, when I say strangers, I mean people outside myself, it was the worst thing and the best thing I could have done for myself.
00:39:15.199 --> 00:39:20.159
It was like exposing all that I felt, my ugly dark parts.
00:39:20.639 --> 00:39:24.800
And my teacher so brilliantly gave me a character of being a monster.
00:39:25.039 --> 00:39:27.920
So I got to embody the feelings.
00:39:28.320 --> 00:39:32.400
And then I was like, oh, and then I literally looked different.
00:39:32.559 --> 00:39:34.480
Like my eyeballs looked brighter.
00:39:34.639 --> 00:39:38.639
Everybody, we all looked younger, our cheeks were flushed, which they're probably right now.
00:39:38.800 --> 00:39:48.000
Like when we're alive in that moment, you said something earlier when it's like it's that moment of like, oh, I'm terrified, I'm doing it anyway.
00:39:48.320 --> 00:39:59.440
There's a dopamine like floods our system, and all the healthy chemicals that rejuvenate the cells of our body start to fire, and we look younger, you know.
00:39:59.599 --> 00:40:01.840
It's really, it's science.
00:40:02.559 --> 00:40:04.800
It's the kind of science class I like.
00:40:05.280 --> 00:40:06.239
Yeah, definitely.
00:40:06.320 --> 00:40:07.840
It's like it's like war reward.
00:40:08.079 --> 00:40:08.880
That's what you become.
00:40:09.039 --> 00:40:25.679
You become, I guess you you embody um, you know, the stress, you you take on all of that, that physical, that physicality of of the risk, not not leaning into the risk and learning how to deal with it, um, just really wears wears down on you.
00:40:25.760 --> 00:40:32.239
But this is, I mean, to me, this is excellent um advice, programming.
00:40:32.480 --> 00:40:53.519
Um I like the way you the the way you look at at the way things were, like the way things, you know, like listening to you talk, I'm like, oh yeah, I had those days where, you know, everything was anger because you know, who is who was judging or who I thought was judging, um, you know, it it does take a toll on you.
00:40:53.599 --> 00:41:01.039
And and this is just really amazing to hear that, you know, um I'm listening to it now and I'm going, it was somebody else that felt that way.
00:41:01.440 --> 00:41:04.639
You know, that's that's exactly why we're doing this.
00:41:04.719 --> 00:41:18.400
We want make we want to make sure that there are people, this stuff reaches people that may not even want to admit it to themselves, but now to hear it, and now, you know, like like listening to you, I'm sitting there going, Yeah, that was me.
00:41:18.559 --> 00:41:28.239
I wouldn't, you know, that angry and and and concerned and and on a timeline and on a deadline, and and what's this one gonna think and what's that one gonna think?
00:41:29.280 --> 00:41:41.119
And then you get to a point where it's just overwhelming, and you either reach out to somebody and you have great community around you, like you said, or you know, the alternative is not a good one.
00:41:41.360 --> 00:41:44.880
And um I think that's the best message that you bring.
00:41:45.039 --> 00:41:52.320
The alternative is not a good one, you have to make those take make those changes, take those steps to be in a different place.
00:41:52.719 --> 00:42:10.800
Yeah, especially these days, because I I know that that lockdown did a number on everybody, whether we understand it or not, but the disconnect is there, and a lot of people are complaining about it.
00:42:11.039 --> 00:42:36.239
People that I speak to, people that I read about, the subject matter is I can't get anybody on the phone, I can't get anybody to answer an email, I have people calling, but they don't tell me why they're calling, they won't leave a voicemail, or I call them back, they don't pick up, and it's we have all this communication, and people are feeling still that disconnect.
00:42:36.480 --> 00:42:42.239
And I think until we start to come together in groups like that, and I uh and I love improv too.
00:42:42.320 --> 00:42:58.800
I I did it as well, and it and it is a great community, but there's so many different communities out there, whether it's dancing or poetry or like you said, music, something in the arts, something that is not business related.
00:42:58.960 --> 00:43:13.840
I'm not talking network events, I'm talking about an actual group that you attend because it is fun, it is enlightening, and it is an opportunity for you to connect with people and be yourself.
00:43:14.320 --> 00:43:16.960
I think that we need that more than ever.
00:43:17.599 --> 00:43:24.960
And I think the idea of finding those communities is very important because things are opening up.
00:43:25.039 --> 00:43:31.760
You do not need to sit in the comfort of your home, as comfortable as it is, with a couch in every room.
00:43:32.639 --> 00:43:43.599
We do have to walk outside and sit on somebody else's couch and be with them and have that conversation of how are you today?
00:43:43.760 --> 00:43:45.039
Not just I'm fine.
00:43:45.119 --> 00:43:47.519
No, how are you today?
00:43:47.840 --> 00:43:58.719
And we take the time to listen because you're right a mentor, a therapist, a coach, whatever it is you need to be heard.
00:44:00.320 --> 00:44:05.519
To understand what you need to do to move forward is invaluable.
00:44:05.679 --> 00:44:09.840
And Shane, I think that your program is amazing.
00:44:10.079 --> 00:44:19.440
And I'm so glad that we have the chance to introduce you to hopefully a bigger audience and have an opportunity.
00:44:19.599 --> 00:44:25.440
We were going to make sure everybody will have your information to be able to contact you.
00:44:25.679 --> 00:44:28.000
Is there anything else that you would like to add?
00:44:28.159 --> 00:44:28.719
Anything else?
00:44:28.880 --> 00:44:32.480
Is there a good way for them to reach out to you?
00:44:33.519 --> 00:44:44.000
Since I'm a big advocate of play, I would say like go to your Google bar and type in Shane or Enchantress Shane and see what comes up and click something.
00:44:44.159 --> 00:44:45.519
Like I'm all over the place.
00:44:45.679 --> 00:44:46.639
I've written some books.
00:44:46.719 --> 00:44:47.920
There's a bunch of articles.
00:44:48.079 --> 00:44:49.199
I'm all over YouTube.
00:44:49.599 --> 00:44:55.840
And because I really trust that whatever the person finds will be just right for them.
00:44:56.079 --> 00:44:58.320
Um yeah, so play with that.
00:44:58.400 --> 00:45:02.480
You know, sometimes I do that because I listen, I need my own support, you know?
00:45:02.719 --> 00:45:06.480
And so yeah, just typing in my name and seeing what comes up.
00:45:06.559 --> 00:45:11.840
Um, and of course, you can always find me on social media all over the place, but yeah, make it a game.
00:45:12.079 --> 00:45:14.000
Or in the water in Rockaway.
00:45:14.239 --> 00:45:18.880
She's or in the water and warning dipping that you'll never catch me dead at.
00:45:19.840 --> 00:45:20.800
Sounds like me.
00:45:21.039 --> 00:45:21.679
I don't know.
00:45:21.840 --> 00:45:23.920
I mean uh I'm too cold.
00:45:24.159 --> 00:45:25.519
Too cold all the time.
00:45:27.360 --> 00:45:28.719
I'll meet you in July.
00:45:28.800 --> 00:45:30.079
That that'll be good.
00:45:30.320 --> 00:45:32.000
Yeah, totally understand.
00:45:32.239 --> 00:45:32.880
Yeah.
00:45:34.159 --> 00:45:35.119
Uh, all right.
00:45:35.199 --> 00:45:38.320
Well, I think that that really covers everything.
00:45:38.400 --> 00:45:42.880
Uh if there's anything else that you can think of, Shane, um, that you want to add.
00:45:44.320 --> 00:45:49.519
I want to tell everyone that you're right and you don't have to prove it to anybody.
00:45:49.679 --> 00:45:51.920
Like that's what somebody told me years ago.
00:45:52.000 --> 00:45:57.440
Um, and I don't know if it's a New Yorker thing, but like fighting to be right, it just it's terrible.
00:45:57.599 --> 00:45:59.760
You're never gonna make everybody believe you're right.
00:45:59.840 --> 00:46:01.679
So just know that you're already right.
00:46:01.920 --> 00:46:03.519
And we're in the right room to say that.
00:46:03.599 --> 00:46:04.480
So it feels really cool.
00:46:04.880 --> 00:46:05.360
There you go.
00:46:05.599 --> 00:46:06.000
Appreciate it.
00:46:06.320 --> 00:46:06.880
Thanks for the time.
00:46:08.079 --> 00:46:09.119
Thank you so much.
00:46:09.360 --> 00:46:10.239
Well, that's it.
00:46:10.400 --> 00:46:11.440
I think we're all good.
00:46:11.760 --> 00:46:13.360
Celeste, anything else?
00:46:13.679 --> 00:46:15.119
I I think this was great.
00:46:15.199 --> 00:46:16.880
And Shane, thank you so much.
00:46:17.039 --> 00:46:24.880
You are our first guest, and and and this was the I don't think we could have asked for anything or anybody better.
00:46:25.039 --> 00:46:26.639
So thank you very much.
00:46:27.039 --> 00:46:28.719
Very much, very much so.
00:46:28.880 --> 00:46:36.400
Um, so now what we're gonna do is we're going to clean this up because, of course, you know, all of the ums and ahs that Shane does.
00:46:36.559 --> 00:46:38.000
Um, but we'll clean it all up.
00:46:38.320 --> 00:46:39.679
I'm not worried about ums and ahs.
00:46:41.760 --> 00:46:45.679
Honestly, I I don't know that I would have to really edit very much.
00:46:45.920 --> 00:46:46.960
Yeah, this was amazing.
00:46:47.119 --> 00:46:51.039
I would have liked you to give me a little bit more time before going, okay, we're done.
00:46:51.920 --> 00:46:54.880
But I'll find the ending there.
00:46:55.840 --> 00:46:56.000
Okay.
00:46:56.800 --> 00:46:58.880
Yeah, see, all a learning process.
00:46:59.039 --> 00:47:07.199
I have to, and I'm gonna tell you, you know you you said about meeting somebody um and working with someone to get you to move?
00:47:07.440 --> 00:47:07.920
Yeah.
00:47:08.159 --> 00:47:13.519
I've been trying to do this thing with the right room for almost two years now.
00:47:14.000 --> 00:47:19.760
And I don't even know how it happened, but I mentioned it to Celeste, what, about six months ago?
00:47:20.239 --> 00:47:21.519
Maybe four months ago?
00:47:21.920 --> 00:47:24.239
And she's like, Well, I I could work with you on that.
00:47:24.320 --> 00:47:25.039
And I'm like, really?
00:47:25.519 --> 00:47:28.400
And just the whole yeah, but you know what it was?
00:47:28.559 --> 00:47:32.639
The whole the weight of it became less.
00:47:33.039 --> 00:47:35.360
It's like, oh, well, wait a minute.
00:47:35.440 --> 00:47:39.039
Now it's not just the me show, it's Celeste, what do you think?
00:47:39.199 --> 00:47:50.079
And it and unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, I've been working with a partner in business or work or whatever since I'm 18, 19 years old.
00:47:50.320 --> 00:47:53.360
So for me to be on my own has been very tough.
00:47:53.679 --> 00:48:02.960
But just what you said, having somebody, something, some touchstone that you can put in your life, in your business, whatever, it's so meaningful.
00:48:03.199 --> 00:48:06.480
And thank you so much for pointing that out to everybody.
00:48:06.800 --> 00:48:08.320
Yeah, beautiful.
00:48:08.559 --> 00:48:15.760
I have in the back of my head um that if if I don't know, I don't want to, but Celeste, if you want to add on now.
00:48:16.239 --> 00:48:17.280
I'm adding all of this on.
00:48:17.599 --> 00:48:17.840
Okay.
00:48:18.400 --> 00:48:19.679
No, but I don't yeah, I don't know.
00:48:19.760 --> 00:48:20.880
I'm just I'm here for it.
00:48:20.960 --> 00:48:24.079
If you wanted to say more and then splice it at the end.
00:48:25.360 --> 00:48:26.880
Yeah, this is this this all works.
00:48:26.960 --> 00:48:29.519
This is we're not here to be perfect, really.
00:48:29.760 --> 00:48:30.480
Okay, great, great.
00:48:30.559 --> 00:48:33.920
And I just want to let you know, like, I'm okay, I have some time if you needed to.
00:48:34.079 --> 00:48:36.639
I don't know, both of you wanted to add stuff on, or I don't know.
00:48:37.119 --> 00:48:47.599
No, it's it's just that you know, I mean, I'm sure that it'll come to me like or or it'll come to Celeste afterwards, but you know, we'll listen, Shane, if you're willing, we'll be more than happy to have you on again.
00:48:47.760 --> 00:48:58.320
Um to to uh be on because we're our plan with this is to not only just do these uh interviews, do like a panel or or you know, uh a mic.
00:48:59.519 --> 00:48:59.920
All of it.
00:49:00.000 --> 00:49:01.280
Yeah, that'd be good.
00:49:01.519 --> 00:49:02.480
That would be good.
00:49:02.800 --> 00:49:03.440
That'd be great.
00:49:03.599 --> 00:49:15.920
Yeah, I just thought to myself, like, ooh, I could and if you were open to guests, I mean sure you have a a major amount, but like my um doula woman, the gen 3.0, she's an amazing speaker and guest open.
00:49:16.639 --> 00:49:19.599
But she shows up and like she could really do it well.
00:49:19.920 --> 00:49:21.280
We're always open to guests.
00:49:21.440 --> 00:49:27.840
If you know of anybody that can use it, just shoot me an email, shoot me their email, and and I'll get reach out to them.
00:49:27.920 --> 00:49:36.400
Just you know, if you want to do a soft intro, that'd be perfect because we're always looking for anyone and any anyone and anything that they cover.
00:49:36.639 --> 00:49:39.119
Um, we look to have the conversation.
00:49:39.280 --> 00:49:40.159
That's all it is.
00:49:40.800 --> 00:49:45.440
And is your audience um, I guess it's everybody, but uh it doesn't feel women focused.
00:49:45.519 --> 00:49:46.800
Is that is that true?
00:49:47.440 --> 00:49:55.119
I don't think we really had uh have a focus other than you know we're we're trying to concentrate a little bit right now on on business and entrepreneurship.
00:49:55.360 --> 00:49:57.280
Um I don't know where it's gonna go.
00:49:57.360 --> 00:49:59.039
We don't we don't know where it's gonna go.
00:49:59.199 --> 00:50:04.320
So yeah, it could be a little bit of everything, a little bit of anything, and a little bit of nothing.
00:50:04.639 --> 00:50:05.199
I love that.
00:50:06.800 --> 00:50:18.320
Yeah, I like I have another interview and it's like divine feminine leadership, and I'm like, I don't know, I'm trying to just be with people and like I've been in the women's world so long that it seems like a jump, but I think it's not.
00:50:18.480 --> 00:50:20.159
I think it's just a jump in my own head.
00:50:20.239 --> 00:50:38.719
It's not really it really is because yeah, when I started my speaking business, it was targeted for women, and yet I did not do one uh presentation where men weren't there uh uh for one reason or another.
00:50:38.960 --> 00:50:43.199
They wanted to come uh to support their wife or their girlfriend.
00:50:43.360 --> 00:50:52.960
Um, one group came because it was for a woman's union, and the the other men in the union wanted to be there to support them.
00:50:53.039 --> 00:50:54.719
They just uh and they showed up.
00:50:54.800 --> 00:51:04.960
And it what was really interesting to me was having men come up to me and say, you know, I realized that you were focusing this on the women, but I got so much out of it.
00:51:05.519 --> 00:51:15.360
I I really felt that there were so many things that you were talking about, tools that you were given that I can use.
00:51:15.440 --> 00:51:17.440
And I said, Well, I'm so glad to hear that.
00:51:17.519 --> 00:51:25.840
I mean, it I said I I did it for women because I felt like men already knew how to do this, and they said, You would think so, right?
00:51:26.000 --> 00:51:29.199
You know, so I then I realized, oh, you know something?
00:51:29.760 --> 00:52:03.679
I I I really have to understand that when we're all talking about inclusion and diversity, it is everybody, it is men, it is women, it is everything, and everybody um it doesn't matter if you're an electrician, you know, or if you're an architect, again, we are all dealing with the same misgivings, the same self-doubts, the same idea of am I good enough?
00:52:03.840 --> 00:52:08.639
And I think that we all struggle with that in one form or another.
00:52:08.880 --> 00:52:20.320
And that's why, again, to have a community that says, Yeah, listen, we're all like that, so get over yourself, you know, because whatever it is you're trying to do, we got your back.
00:52:20.559 --> 00:52:21.440
Yeah, yeah.
00:52:21.599 --> 00:52:24.880
And it's so oh it's so interesting to hear like men.
00:52:25.039 --> 00:52:28.000
It's like there's different kinds, you know, there's different kinds of women.
00:52:28.159 --> 00:52:30.079
Women are not just one woman.
00:52:30.320 --> 00:52:35.760
Anyway, it's so, yeah, it's just a like a funny limitation that's so clear right now.
00:52:36.800 --> 00:52:40.320
Yeah, and so that we yeah, we left it open-ended.
00:52:40.639 --> 00:53:00.480
We we just yeah, it it's the idea is we're going to look at different careers, different perspectives, different mindsets, just to have hopefully develop a compassion and empathy for each other.
00:53:00.719 --> 00:53:27.440
Because when you kind of get into the nitty-gritty of what somebody goes through, because it's like, oh, that looks like that looks so glamorous, and like, yeah, let me tell you what's happening behind the scenes, and you go, Well, that's a lot of work and that's a lot of pressure, and you have a different understanding now of what that person is doing and how they are presenting themselves, but you get the idea of all the work that they put into it for to make it look easy.
00:53:27.679 --> 00:53:28.719
Yeah, oh yeah.
00:53:28.800 --> 00:53:31.039
Uh yeah, I'm reading this great book right now.
00:53:31.119 --> 00:53:33.199
It's called 100 million offers.
00:53:33.519 --> 00:53:34.159
Have you heard of it?
00:53:34.239 --> 00:53:35.360
It's like a workbook.
00:53:35.599 --> 00:53:36.079
Oh, okay.
00:53:36.400 --> 00:53:38.239
I heard of it the other day, believe me or not.
00:53:38.400 --> 00:53:45.280
Uh on some some TikTok, and they were just talking all about what you just said in such a friendly, cool way.
00:53:46.159 --> 00:53:52.960
Yeah, I just got into it last night, but um, yeah, this feels so full, like of potential of so many things.
00:53:53.119 --> 00:53:55.440
So I'm here to support it anyway, you know.
00:53:55.519 --> 00:53:58.480
And if you want me to share it on Rockaway Creates, like just let me know.
00:53:58.559 --> 00:53:59.920
I I would love to.
00:54:01.840 --> 00:54:04.159
This has been a great interview.
00:54:04.320 --> 00:54:07.039
Thank you, Shane, again for coming on.
00:54:07.360 --> 00:54:12.400
I believe we learned so much, and I am looking forward to having you again.
00:54:12.639 --> 00:54:14.559
Well, thank you for coming to the right room.
00:54:14.639 --> 00:54:16.079
I'm Celeste Camps.
00:54:16.320 --> 00:54:17.519
I'm Jane Parmel.
00:54:17.840 --> 00:54:18.639
Thank you, Shane.
00:54:18.960 --> 00:54:20.800
We'll see you again in the right room.
00:54:20.960 --> 00:54:21.519
Thank you.
00:54:21.760 --> 00:54:23.119
Bye-bye, everybody.
00:00:26.480 --> 00:00:27.199
Hi, everybody.
00:00:27.280 --> 00:00:28.879
Welcome to the right room.
00:00:29.039 --> 00:00:30.480
My name is Jane Carmel.
00:00:30.960 --> 00:00:32.799
And I'm Celeste Camps.
00:00:33.119 --> 00:00:38.240
And we are going to do the podcast today on risk.
00:00:38.719 --> 00:00:41.280
Our podcast focus today is on risk.
00:00:41.600 --> 00:00:44.000
Knowing you need to take that risk.
00:00:44.240 --> 00:00:45.920
I don't want to take the risk.
00:00:47.039 --> 00:00:49.759
But you know that many times it's important that you do.
00:00:50.159 --> 00:01:01.840
Even as uncomfortable as it seems, you have to decide: do I stay where I am, where I know it's not working out, or do I take that risk and have something better?
00:01:02.079 --> 00:01:04.159
And that is always that issue.
00:01:04.319 --> 00:01:16.719
I know it was for me years ago when I left a very good paying job and knew that if I stayed with it, I was just going to get more and more miserable.
00:01:17.040 --> 00:01:19.280
The job took my whole life.
00:01:19.519 --> 00:01:34.560
And I thought at this point, if I don't jump ship and decide that instead of expending all of this energy making somebody else rich, I could probably put all of that energy into myself and have my own business.
00:01:34.799 --> 00:01:40.719
And as scary as it was, the decision really was the best one I ever made.
00:01:40.879 --> 00:01:43.840
And Jane, I am sure that you have found that as well.
00:01:44.239 --> 00:01:48.879
You know, I I I don't consider myself a daredevil.
00:01:49.120 --> 00:01:57.519
I actually consider myself risk avert, adverse, um, because I I literally had a very phobic mother.
00:01:57.760 --> 00:02:01.120
So she put that fear of everything in me.
00:02:01.439 --> 00:02:05.519
And to to go out on a limb has always been terrifying.
00:02:05.760 --> 00:02:10.879
Um, I usually can do it, but I usually have something in front of me.
00:02:11.120 --> 00:02:16.960
A partner um in business, uh, a musical instrument when uh I was performing.
00:02:17.120 --> 00:02:20.560
So it was always a a little bit of, you know, a little bit of a buffer.
00:02:20.879 --> 00:02:28.400
But now that you know, even like this this podcast, this vodcast, the risk behind it is, you know, is it gonna work?
00:02:28.560 --> 00:02:29.840
Is it not going to work?
00:02:30.080 --> 00:02:32.000
Um, is my guest gonna show up?
00:02:32.400 --> 00:02:40.639
Um the the tension that that builds in you, um it almost it almost becomes debilitating to some people.
00:02:40.800 --> 00:02:43.759
And you know, how do you how do you deal with that?
00:02:44.080 --> 00:02:44.479
You know?
00:02:44.879 --> 00:02:51.919
Well, luckily we have somebody today that can address all of that.
00:02:52.159 --> 00:02:54.960
And she is here today to help us walk us through this.
00:02:55.199 --> 00:02:57.759
Please welcome Shane Coleman.
00:02:58.240 --> 00:02:58.479
Yay!
00:02:58.639 --> 00:03:00.319
Hey Shane, how are you?
00:03:01.280 --> 00:03:02.960
So good, so happy to be here.
00:03:03.439 --> 00:03:05.039
We're happy to have you.
00:03:06.319 --> 00:03:15.199
And we know that you do actually many things, and we asked you to pare it down to just one topic.
00:03:15.520 --> 00:03:22.479
And I like the topic that you picked, which is making that big decision even when you're unsure of yourself.
00:03:23.599 --> 00:03:25.919
So walk us through it.
00:03:26.560 --> 00:03:30.080
Yeah, well, I want to say, as entrepreneurs, we make bets.
00:03:30.240 --> 00:03:49.360
Like we are in a life that's like a casino, and it's really scary because essentially we're saying, I'm so great that I don't need a boss to tell me what to do, that I'm gonna wake up on time, I'm gonna take a shower, I'm gonna eat my breakfast.
00:03:49.599 --> 00:03:52.240
And there's actually nowhere to rush to.
00:03:52.479 --> 00:04:05.520
And that is really, you know, at the core, we've all been raised in school, where it's like, do this, come here, sit down, stand up, and anything outside of that, you get in trouble for.
00:04:06.080 --> 00:04:13.759
Um, so I was a preschool teacher and a therapist for little kids, and I saw the training, you know, happen.
00:04:14.080 --> 00:04:20.319
And so I, you talked about your mom, like my, I just didn't like authority.
00:04:20.480 --> 00:04:25.120
I just was like, I can do it better and different and more efficient, even in kindergarten.
00:04:25.439 --> 00:04:28.720
Um, I there's so many examples that just rush to my mind.
00:04:29.040 --> 00:04:32.319
And getting in trouble, I was like used to it already.
00:04:32.560 --> 00:04:38.079
So I think that gave me the permission to be like, I want to do what I want to do.
00:04:38.480 --> 00:04:44.879
Up until I was about 12, I reached puberty, and then I was like, I just want to fit in, I just want to belong.
00:04:45.279 --> 00:04:53.920
And so as an adult, it is a slippery slope, but I'm obsessed with um, I'm self-interested, I'm obsessed with personal development.
00:04:54.160 --> 00:05:06.720
And the scariest, most efficient place to grow and learn and make money is by being witnessed by strangers, doing your thing, making your offers, putting yourself out there.
00:05:07.040 --> 00:05:16.480
Because they don't know you're a nice person or you're kind, and they have their stories like, oh, you're a hustler, you want to make money, like, and that stuff all comes up.
00:05:16.720 --> 00:05:21.600
And so becoming an entrepreneur, it wasn't like I became an entrepreneur, I just was one.
00:05:22.240 --> 00:05:24.879
Um, and taking risk is a part of that.
00:05:24.959 --> 00:05:31.839
And I always think about I'm a New Yorker and I think about the guys that own or the women, whoever that own the bodegas or the corner stores.
00:05:31.920 --> 00:05:36.319
Like, I wonder if they think about risk or they're like, no, it's busy, it's a bus stop.
00:05:36.399 --> 00:05:38.480
We're gonna be, it's guaranteed.
00:05:39.199 --> 00:05:43.920
Um, and so, you know, taking a risk doesn't feel fun.
00:05:44.079 --> 00:05:52.959
I want everyone to know, like, even if we're all smiling and we look nice for the camera, you know, there's days where it's like, I'm not showering, I didn't eat, it's three o'clock.
00:05:53.120 --> 00:05:55.680
I where's the next money coming from?
00:05:56.000 --> 00:06:02.319
Um, and that's kind of the excitement, you know, the dopamine of like, where's it gonna come from?
00:06:02.480 --> 00:06:04.240
What's happening next?
00:06:04.720 --> 00:06:07.199
And where are coping mechanisms come in?
00:06:07.360 --> 00:06:10.399
Like, there's a lot of psychology around taking risk.
00:06:10.639 --> 00:06:21.600
And at the end of the day, if someone's gonna watch up until right now, I want them to know that sometimes you take the risk and the joy or the pleasure come afterwards.
00:06:22.160 --> 00:06:27.519
So it's not like, oh, I want to have fun, I want to be successful like these other people.
00:06:28.079 --> 00:06:30.399
You might feel horrible, terrible.
00:06:30.560 --> 00:06:40.079
You might eat two pies of pizza and take the risk, and then something happens, and you're like, oh my goodness, I'm real.
00:06:40.240 --> 00:06:41.680
People believe in me.
00:06:41.920 --> 00:06:45.839
Um, I just had a client, she calls herself Jen 3.0.
00:06:46.160 --> 00:06:49.360
Um, she's been a mother of two teenagers.
00:06:49.519 --> 00:06:56.319
She was a private investigator, she worked for an assembly woman, and now she's a postpartum doula.
00:06:56.639 --> 00:06:58.319
That's what she did while she was working with me.
00:06:58.480 --> 00:07:03.839
She got trained and and she was she'll love me anyway.
00:07:03.920 --> 00:07:05.360
She was really undercharging.
00:07:05.519 --> 00:07:12.480
And um, she's been a mother for 20 years and a caregiver and a natural doula, as far as I'm concerned.
00:07:12.720 --> 00:07:17.600
She's like, I'm just starting, you know, and her yeah, she was undercharging.
00:07:17.759 --> 00:07:21.600
And now she's raised her prices, she's taking it little bits at a time.
00:07:21.759 --> 00:07:23.279
Her prices are good.
00:07:23.839 --> 00:07:26.800
She has a wait list, she has people showing up.
00:07:26.959 --> 00:07:30.639
And she just posted this thing like, I'm doing it.
00:07:30.720 --> 00:07:33.120
It's my actual business, it's thriving.
00:07:33.279 --> 00:07:34.639
I have money coming.
00:07:34.800 --> 00:07:37.439
People are calling, I'm having meetings.
00:07:37.920 --> 00:07:44.879
And that joy of a little kid who's like, I won the game, is really important to share.
00:07:45.759 --> 00:07:46.959
So I want to take a breath.
00:07:47.199 --> 00:07:47.360
Go ahead.
00:07:49.199 --> 00:07:54.399
You know, I'm I'm what I'm hearing when you're when you're saying it is yes, there there's risk, of course.
00:07:54.480 --> 00:07:55.839
There's risk, there's reward.
00:07:56.160 --> 00:08:03.920
Um, sometimes there's a detriment to your, you know, a setback or or whatever that comes with it, and that uh otherwise it wouldn't be risky.
00:08:04.399 --> 00:08:20.319
Um, you know, but what I'm what I hear in what you're saying is um you know, people especially as as an entrepreneur, um, that risk embodies things like where does the next dollar come from?
00:08:20.639 --> 00:08:22.160
Uh am I gonna have clients?
00:08:22.720 --> 00:08:25.199
I am a profit acceleration strategist.
00:08:25.360 --> 00:08:35.360
So to hear you say your client was afraid to charge more um I always laugh because that's usually what exactly what you said is usually what happens.
00:08:35.519 --> 00:08:41.200
They'll they'll push back with a coach or a or a clo a consultant and say, I can't charge anymore.
00:08:41.360 --> 00:08:41.840
Are you kidding?
00:08:41.919 --> 00:08:43.200
I'll put myself out of business.
00:08:43.440 --> 00:08:47.440
And then they start to, and two things happen.
00:08:47.840 --> 00:08:55.120
They actually make more money, and then the risk, the fear of the risk, starts to fall away.
00:08:55.840 --> 00:09:09.840
That being said, do you have any um processes or systems that you work through with your clients to really help them put that risk at bay, you know, hold it at bay, uh, not to let the fear overwhelm them?
00:09:10.159 --> 00:09:10.639
Yes.
00:09:10.879 --> 00:09:14.000
And the name of my method is the unconventional icon.
00:09:14.080 --> 00:09:20.159
And here's why self-expression is the way in and the way out of fear.
00:09:20.320 --> 00:09:28.399
Um, and so I suggest to my clients go find an open mic, go get on the karaoke mic, go do a poetry reading.
00:09:28.559 --> 00:09:31.519
I mean, you could do it all online, but it's really interesting.
00:09:31.759 --> 00:09:36.879
It's interesting, I want to say that, to put your body through that process.
00:09:37.519 --> 00:09:42.000
And because the part of the brain that's like, I'm gonna die, actually takes over, right?
00:09:42.080 --> 00:09:50.639
That reptilian part that's like, I'm gonna die, and then you don't die, and then you're like, well, if I could do that, I could do anything.
00:09:50.879 --> 00:09:54.000
I just had another client, I was like, get to karaoke.
00:09:54.080 --> 00:09:57.200
She was like, I don't feel well, you know, really in a place.
00:09:57.360 --> 00:09:59.440
She was really fighting for her comfort.
00:09:59.679 --> 00:10:00.879
I know it very well.
00:10:01.039 --> 00:10:02.799
She went to karaoke.
00:10:03.120 --> 00:10:06.080
They didn't start on time, blah, blah, blah.
00:10:06.320 --> 00:10:07.919
She ended up singing.
00:10:08.240 --> 00:10:14.320
She ended up, the whole audience, she sang, I want it now from Willy Wonka.
00:10:14.399 --> 00:10:17.039
Like everybody was like, oh my goodness, we never hear that song.
00:10:17.120 --> 00:10:19.039
It was totally lit everyone up.
00:10:19.279 --> 00:10:28.879
A week later, she got invited to do a live DJ event, which is something she always wanted to do, and she'd been doing it online because of the pandemic.
00:10:29.279 --> 00:10:39.120
So it's like once you do one thing out of your comfort zone, it's like the actual body, the emotional body, is like, okay, I'm not gonna die.
00:10:39.200 --> 00:10:42.159
And and it's a literal, it's kind of logical.
00:10:42.720 --> 00:10:46.240
Um, and then if you do it once, then more things happen.
00:10:46.399 --> 00:10:55.279
So sometimes you sometimes, all the time, you have to go through the back end and give yourself an experience that has lower stakes.
00:10:55.519 --> 00:10:59.360
If your business, if you're in a family, you have to pay your mortgage.
00:10:59.440 --> 00:11:00.720
That's super high stakes.
00:11:00.879 --> 00:11:02.240
Of course you're afraid.
00:11:02.480 --> 00:11:04.960
Let me get a job, let me sell my stuff, you know.
00:11:05.039 --> 00:11:17.120
But in the at the same time, those things are not bad, you know, integrating jobs, selling stuff, but you just have to work around so that you freak yourself out enough that you're like, well, that could have been horrible, but it wasn't.
00:11:17.200 --> 00:11:18.159
So now I'll.
00:11:18.320 --> 00:11:22.320
So the unconventionality is in self-expression and the arts.
00:11:22.960 --> 00:11:28.320
Well, what happens if you have a client that really is stuck?
00:11:28.480 --> 00:11:32.159
I mean, that the idea of karaoke, nope, not doing it.
00:11:32.399 --> 00:11:35.120
Well, what about you take an improv class?
00:11:35.200 --> 00:11:36.480
Nope, not doing it.
00:11:36.639 --> 00:11:48.799
Are there people that you find that it's not that they're that they don't want to experience it, but the fear is is paralyzing.
00:11:48.960 --> 00:11:52.799
Is there something that you're able to do to help them work through that?
00:11:53.039 --> 00:11:55.600
Yes, I so love this as a follow-up question.
00:11:55.759 --> 00:12:01.360
So I'm an actor, and you're right, like some people are just like absolutely not.
00:12:01.600 --> 00:12:07.600
So another part, there's three parts of my method, and the the second part is really being with those parts.
00:12:07.759 --> 00:12:09.360
Like you said, frozen.
00:12:09.519 --> 00:12:10.960
Okay, I get frozen.
00:12:11.039 --> 00:12:12.559
I sit on the couch and I'm with my phone.
00:12:12.720 --> 00:12:14.000
I'm like, what am I doing?
00:12:14.240 --> 00:12:20.000
So we kind of give that part a role or a character, and we befriend it.
00:12:20.320 --> 00:12:28.799
And I there's no pushing, there's it's just real curiosity, deep curiosity of like, wow, what's it like to feel frozen?
00:12:29.120 --> 00:12:36.399
And a lot of times, you know, I'll have them close their eyes and take them on a journey, and a character shows up.
00:12:36.559 --> 00:12:37.600
It's it's real.
00:12:37.759 --> 00:12:44.080
Sometimes it's an animal, or sometimes it's a feeling, and we can relate it to a character.
00:12:44.159 --> 00:12:57.759
And sometimes people say, Oh, it was my third grade teacher, and you know, people emerge from the past that literally had an impact on our blueprint of how we cope with intensity.
00:12:58.000 --> 00:13:01.759
Um, one of my famous stories that I talk about is the birthday song, right?
00:13:01.919 --> 00:13:07.120
Everybody sings happy birthday, and you're like, Oh my god, I don't know what to do with myself.
00:13:07.679 --> 00:13:12.000
I recorded my friend's child, and I she was having fun.
00:13:12.080 --> 00:13:12.720
She's two.
00:13:12.879 --> 00:13:13.679
She was turning two.
00:13:13.759 --> 00:13:18.480
Oh, she was turning three, and her shoulders went forward and she put her head down.
00:13:18.559 --> 00:13:24.480
Like all of a sudden, all these adults had their phones up and they were singing loud because they loved her.
00:13:24.639 --> 00:13:27.279
But she was like, Ooh, what is going on?
00:13:27.440 --> 00:13:29.120
No words, just her body.
00:13:29.279 --> 00:13:37.279
And a lot of us, right there, that was a snapshot in her body of what's it like to get attention, and she was totally shrinking.
00:13:37.759 --> 00:13:41.919
So we have to have compassion for these parts and not push through.
00:13:42.080 --> 00:13:47.200
Like this, I'll call it bro type marketing that's like big mission, go do it.
00:13:47.440 --> 00:13:49.519
It's actually re-traumatizing.
00:13:49.600 --> 00:13:58.399
So if you don't, you don't want to get to the bottom of it, you just want to look at it as if it was a movie or a play and be like, wow, that's so interesting.
00:13:58.720 --> 00:14:05.759
And then at the end, after the journey, it's like you check in with that part again, and that part's like taking a nap.
00:14:05.840 --> 00:14:07.759
And you're like, okay, I can go do my life.
00:14:11.360 --> 00:14:12.879
I'm fascinated with this now.
00:14:13.039 --> 00:14:18.559
Um do you think that I again I'm gonna go back to my mom.
00:14:18.720 --> 00:14:28.159
Um, you know, phobias, uh fears, completely, you know, phobia being an irrational fear, the the walls don't close in, the those kind of things, stage fright.
00:14:28.240 --> 00:14:33.279
I mean, the the best thing, the closest thing that I can tell you that I've ever experienced has been stage fright.
00:14:33.840 --> 00:14:53.039
Um but I noticed that as I've gotten older, um the concept of pushing myself out of my comfort zone um is something, you know, like again, being a New Yorker, I say, Oh come on, all this, you know BS of of of you know, your mind and your body and all of this.
00:14:53.279 --> 00:14:57.919
Um I kinda poo-poo it and then I started to really listen to it.
00:14:58.240 --> 00:15:10.960
And um I guess my thing is does there come a point where it becomes um easier once you're out of your comfort zone?
00:15:11.200 --> 00:15:22.559
Um is it is it a continual if you're if you're out of if you all of a sudden are comfortable, are you looking for another challenge?
00:15:22.720 --> 00:15:26.320
Uh is it easier to find another challenge to push you?
00:15:26.399 --> 00:15:33.200
Is it I guess what I'm trying to say is when you become comfortable, it's time to get uncomfortable again.
00:15:33.519 --> 00:15:33.840
Right?
00:15:34.080 --> 00:15:34.399
Yeah.
00:15:34.799 --> 00:15:36.480
Otherwise there's no growth.
00:15:37.120 --> 00:15:37.759
Yeah.
00:15:38.080 --> 00:15:39.519
Yeah, it's I love it.
00:15:39.600 --> 00:15:41.519
You know, wait, did you want to say something else?
00:15:41.759 --> 00:15:47.919
No, I was gonna say, so how would you um you know, like I'm I'm almost thinking that your job your work is finite.
00:15:48.000 --> 00:15:57.279
It's because the way it sounds like, okay, well, you know, I'm I'm nervous about this and I don't want to do that, and I don't like the risk, but Shane's gonna work with me, and once it's gone, it's gone.
00:15:57.519 --> 00:16:07.279
And my point is to it really should be like this continuing, long drawn out, let's let's get the next challenge and the next challenge.
00:16:07.440 --> 00:16:08.559
Do you work with your customers?
00:16:08.720 --> 00:16:09.919
Were your clients like that?
00:16:10.080 --> 00:16:14.720
Do you do you um push that that way of thinking?
00:16:15.039 --> 00:16:17.039
Yeah, I almost thought you were gonna say edge.
00:16:17.120 --> 00:16:18.320
It is edge pushing.
00:16:18.480 --> 00:16:18.879
Right.
00:16:19.120 --> 00:16:25.919
Um, you know, I created this business for myself because I can be really stuck.
00:16:26.159 --> 00:16:30.559
And so, who am I to help people if I don't keep pushing myself?
00:16:30.799 --> 00:16:40.240
And so it's this constant, you know, revolving elevator of like, what's next for me inspires my clients.
00:16:40.320 --> 00:16:42.799
And then they inspire me, and it keeps on going.
00:16:42.879 --> 00:16:45.039
And the stakes get higher.
00:16:45.440 --> 00:16:47.840
So, self-expression, no problem.
00:16:48.000 --> 00:16:48.480
I love it.
00:16:48.639 --> 00:16:51.440
I still get some nerves, but I use it as energy.
00:16:51.600 --> 00:16:55.759
Um, recently I started going dipping in the ocean during this winter.
00:16:56.080 --> 00:17:00.639
That is not only out of my comfort zone, but I don't like physical challenges.
00:17:00.799 --> 00:17:05.599
I don't do roller coasters, I don't ice skate, you know, I'm like comfort queen.
00:17:05.759 --> 00:17:08.720
Every room I live in a small house has a couch in it.
00:17:08.880 --> 00:17:11.440
Like, I really like my comfort.
00:17:11.759 --> 00:17:20.400
Um, and I went to one of our, I'm on the board of Rockaway Creates, and this guy shows up and he starts giving me my own rap about going in the ocean.
00:17:20.480 --> 00:17:22.640
And I was like, Yeah, okay, buddy, it's not for me.
00:17:22.720 --> 00:17:25.279
You know, I'm delicate, all this stuff.
00:17:25.440 --> 00:17:28.000
And I was like, okay, this is an opportunity.
00:17:28.559 --> 00:17:33.359
He's giving me my own, you know, if you do it, you never know what else could happen in your life.
00:17:33.440 --> 00:17:40.559
And I'm like rolling my eyes, and I got to embody what it might be like for a really shy person to meet me.
00:17:40.799 --> 00:17:42.319
And I started doing it.
00:17:42.559 --> 00:17:48.079
And so that is like my latest example of going completely out of my comfort zone.
00:17:48.319 --> 00:17:51.200
Once I go on a stage, I kill it every single time.
00:17:51.359 --> 00:17:56.000
Like, even if I think I'm not, people don't remember, and then they say I did great.
00:17:56.240 --> 00:18:06.160
And so for me, going out of my comfort zone is like budgeting my money, you know, things that are just very left-brained or physically uncomfortable.
00:18:06.400 --> 00:18:09.440
I'm doing a 5K walk of marathon something.
00:18:09.519 --> 00:18:11.759
I'm like, ugh, what did I sign up for?
00:18:11.920 --> 00:18:16.319
You know, but it's like you have to know what your next what the next stakes are.
00:18:16.480 --> 00:18:31.279
And a lot of times as a as a mentor and a coach, I'm the person people are like, ugh, leave me alone, you know, but they they pay because they want to get out of their little bubble of comfort.
00:18:31.759 --> 00:18:44.319
Um so when you when you are doing this, now I would imagine that your customers, your clients, they are varied.
00:18:44.480 --> 00:18:49.759
They come from differ different backgrounds, different cultures, different mindsets.
00:18:50.480 --> 00:19:02.960
So I am thinking that it you are having to pretty much customize these processes, but is that something that you present to them?
00:19:03.119 --> 00:19:10.559
Is it something that after speaking with them and giving an assessment that you put together a plan of action?
00:19:10.799 --> 00:19:18.240
Or is there something that is a checklist and it's universal and it's we're going one through 10?
00:19:18.480 --> 00:19:20.079
I love that question too.
00:19:20.319 --> 00:19:32.000
So I don't love structure, but I love systems because to me, systems are a placement of what can happen and the chaos can happen in between.
00:19:32.240 --> 00:19:34.960
So my method is the unconventional icon.
00:19:35.119 --> 00:19:36.720
There's three stages.
00:19:36.799 --> 00:19:46.720
Um, the first one is open the golden door, and the second is awkward alchemy, which I shared about with the um the characters and the frozen pieces.
00:19:46.960 --> 00:19:48.960
And the third is strut the stage.
00:19:49.119 --> 00:19:50.799
They can happen in any order.
00:19:51.039 --> 00:20:07.759
You can go back to them because what I really want that I really want more in the coaching industry is sustainability, like having a coach that you're, you know, codependent with and you can't grow if you're not working with them.
00:20:08.000 --> 00:20:11.599
There's so much money being, I'll say wasted on stuff like that.
00:20:11.759 --> 00:20:18.799
And so these three stages, when I ask my clients that are in my group program, what stage are you at?
00:20:18.960 --> 00:20:19.920
They now know.
00:20:20.240 --> 00:20:23.759
And if they know the stage they're in, they know the process.
00:20:23.920 --> 00:20:28.000
And uh the first stage is about rambling, just rambling like a child.
00:20:28.240 --> 00:20:35.440
And the second stage is called awkward alchemy, and it's really changing around any feelings that are keeping oneself stuck.
00:20:35.599 --> 00:20:38.559
And strut the stage is when you're going outward.
00:20:38.799 --> 00:20:41.759
So the first two stages are really in hiding.
00:20:41.920 --> 00:20:48.640
And a lot of my clients are like in hiding in some way because they care so much that they're fragile.
00:20:48.799 --> 00:20:50.000
You know, we're all fragile.
00:20:50.160 --> 00:20:59.680
It's like the loudest, I won't say any names, but the loudest people that are confident and boasting their BS, they're not caring.
00:20:59.839 --> 00:21:01.680
They've sort of desensitized.
00:21:01.839 --> 00:21:04.880
And so the people I work with are pretty sensitive.
00:21:05.200 --> 00:21:10.960
Um, and they care so much that if somebody's like, this is B, we don't know what you're talking about.
00:21:11.039 --> 00:21:15.119
Oh, now you're trying something new, that they're gonna be devastated.
00:21:15.359 --> 00:21:22.240
So having these three stages gives them somewhere to be devastated and not be wrong about it.
00:21:22.319 --> 00:21:24.079
Oh, good, I'm glad I'm bringing this up.
00:21:24.319 --> 00:21:29.599
Um, but they're right in their devastation and they know what to do with it.
00:21:29.839 --> 00:21:39.039
So it doesn't last 20 years, or they don't give up, or they don't end up giving their stuff away for free, you know, stuff like that.
00:21:39.119 --> 00:21:49.359
Or they have like a beta program, like the things that entrepreneurs do that make them like, I know I'm not that good, but if you work with me, I'll do all the free things.
00:21:49.519 --> 00:21:58.000
And then it just proves to them they couldn't do it to begin with, and then they quit, and then they think that entrepreneur is just a scary big monster.
00:21:58.799 --> 00:21:59.759
And that makes sense.
00:22:00.720 --> 00:22:10.799
And that also how I mean you must then come up with circumstances where somebody is dead set.
00:22:11.039 --> 00:22:18.319
This is their job, this is their new business, this is their big idea, and they are going to plow through.
00:22:18.640 --> 00:22:23.039
And yet that's setback after setback after setback.
00:22:23.839 --> 00:22:30.880
Do you at some point either tell them maybe it's a dead end?
00:22:31.279 --> 00:22:38.799
Or is there something that they're not learning that there's another path that they're not seeing?
00:22:39.039 --> 00:22:40.400
I mean, how does that work out?
00:22:40.640 --> 00:22:48.000
Because I can't tell you how many stories I've heard of people just okay, I'm giving up.
00:22:48.400 --> 00:22:50.000
They can't make this work.
00:22:50.160 --> 00:23:07.759
And then the very next day it's like a door opened up and they're on a whole new path that they wish they had figured out maybe some time ago, but maybe it just the timing wasn't there, or their intention was misguided.
00:23:08.160 --> 00:23:17.759
Have you come across that kind of circumstance and be able to help that person go, okay, maybe not here, but let's try this path.
00:23:18.880 --> 00:23:26.240
Yeah, you know, it's like you can go kicking and screaming, or you can go with a little bit of curiosity.
00:23:26.400 --> 00:23:30.720
And there are people who really want to fight for their limitations.
00:23:31.119 --> 00:23:33.759
Um, and then it would be like my fault, let's say.
00:23:33.839 --> 00:23:36.000
That hasn't happened in a really long time.
00:23:36.559 --> 00:23:39.200
Um, but I'm really not here to push an agenda.
00:23:39.359 --> 00:23:44.160
Sometimes I do get attached to people's success because I'm like, oh, it's so right.
00:23:44.319 --> 00:23:45.279
I have a client.
00:23:45.440 --> 00:23:47.759
We're working together about five or six years.
00:23:48.000 --> 00:23:52.240
She's done so many like shots on goal, I call them.
00:23:52.720 --> 00:23:54.559
She finally said something.
00:23:54.720 --> 00:23:56.480
She's like, I don't want to work with adults.
00:23:56.640 --> 00:23:58.240
I'm so hard on myself.
00:23:58.319 --> 00:23:59.680
I feel like they're all judging me.
00:23:59.839 --> 00:24:03.680
She's a highly intelligent administrator in education.
00:24:04.640 --> 00:24:11.759
So now she's changed it around and she's helping, they're like graduate speech therapists.
00:24:11.839 --> 00:24:15.039
So they're younger, maybe they're 21, right, you know, right out of college.
00:24:15.279 --> 00:24:19.839
She already has 15 signups from a post she posted two weeks ago.
00:24:20.960 --> 00:24:23.680
She's not doing her marketing every day.
00:24:24.000 --> 00:24:27.599
She's been working at a job she kind of doesn't want to be at anymore.
00:24:27.680 --> 00:24:29.359
It's like an agency type thing.
00:24:29.599 --> 00:24:33.680
She makes a lot of money, so she has her lifestyle, but she's miserable.
00:24:34.160 --> 00:24:37.759
There's something innate in us that doesn't let us give up.
00:24:37.920 --> 00:24:42.000
And if the person is like, I'm done, then I'm like, you know what?
00:24:42.160 --> 00:24:43.920
Great, let's put this on hold, come back.
00:24:44.000 --> 00:24:45.680
I mean, that's never happened.
00:24:45.920 --> 00:24:49.039
Um, but you know, people are in charge of their own lives.
00:24:49.119 --> 00:24:50.640
Like I had a grumpy client.
00:24:50.799 --> 00:24:56.160
She was like, I know what to do, I'm just not doing it for a lot of weeks in a row.
00:24:56.720 --> 00:25:02.640
So, you know, my job as a mentor is like know when to push and know when to like get curious.
00:25:02.960 --> 00:25:05.839
Um, she ended up going to a yoga.
00:25:05.920 --> 00:25:08.079
She's not living in a place she likes, she hates it.
00:25:08.160 --> 00:25:09.680
She went to a yoga class.
00:25:09.920 --> 00:25:14.240
The owner happens to be from New York, and now she has a relationship.
00:25:14.400 --> 00:25:15.920
Now she's moving her body.
00:25:16.160 --> 00:25:21.359
So sometimes, and I just got this feedback, it's not about working on your business.
00:25:21.519 --> 00:25:31.759
Just like put that aside, go to the back end, get in nature, touch the earth, you know, go hold a baby at the hospital, like change the game in your head.
00:25:32.000 --> 00:25:38.240
Because when we get to that white knuckling place, it's like if you hold tight, you get pins and needles.
00:25:38.319 --> 00:25:42.640
There's no flow, there's no oxygen, there's no place to receive.
00:25:42.960 --> 00:25:50.319
And so this is where I'm really into the divine feminine principles of life, which is relationships and nature.
00:25:50.480 --> 00:25:52.319
I love what I'm feeling from you, Jane.
00:25:52.559 --> 00:25:56.160
And and when you're in that place, like nature's perfect.
00:25:56.319 --> 00:25:58.480
I have these beautiful flowers.
00:25:58.640 --> 00:26:02.079
If I wasn't, you know, situated, they're perfect.
00:26:02.319 --> 00:26:10.720
And so if we start to think of ourselves as perfect and whole and right, we can't mess up.
00:26:10.799 --> 00:26:15.920
And if we get so angry, then you can dance it out, or like don't take a shower for a week.
00:26:16.000 --> 00:26:17.599
Let's see what happens, you know.
00:26:17.839 --> 00:26:21.680
Like, there's some rooms that you can go throw pots and pans.
00:26:21.759 --> 00:26:26.720
You could take, I have all my clients get a wiffle ball bat and like beat the bed once in a while.
00:26:26.960 --> 00:26:35.359
You have energy in your body, and if it's not being expressed, sickness happens, frustration, stuckness.
00:26:35.920 --> 00:26:44.640
Um, but my first, you know, stage of rambling, it's like just ramble that stuff out, get it out of your head, and then see what's next.
00:26:44.799 --> 00:26:46.000
So there's always a way.
00:26:46.079 --> 00:26:53.680
I do lean a lot on like movement and body, because if you're just living your life from your head, your mind is not your friend.
00:26:53.759 --> 00:27:02.000
You know, you can prove whatever case study you're you could prove you're garbage or you could prove you're amazing in the same 10 minutes.
00:27:02.799 --> 00:27:04.640
You know what's funny as you're talking.
00:27:04.720 --> 00:27:11.519
I'm listening and I'm saying to myself, I know some I know somebody that could fit into every box that you're describing.
00:27:11.680 --> 00:27:27.519
Um, you know, again, going back to what I do is is when I and I and I know Shane through Rockaway Creates and and um actually I know Shane further back than that was um Women's Speaker Association, where I met Celeste as well.
00:27:27.759 --> 00:27:29.680
So um thanks to them.
00:27:29.839 --> 00:27:37.839
Um but uh to be honest with you, one of the things that I find with my clients, again, is it's all mindset, like you said.
00:27:38.079 --> 00:27:44.640
Um one of the courses that I take is I've taken is something called receiving your riches.
00:27:45.039 --> 00:27:52.000
Um and it's based on the principle of if you have more, you can do more.
00:27:52.240 --> 00:28:00.559
You everybody's talking about being socially responsible and being uh benevolent and being empathetic, which is all what you just said now.
00:28:00.880 --> 00:28:13.200
Your clients your clients sounds like it t they tend to be more empathetic and they take things to heart and they get hurt and they want more out of the people they deal with.
00:28:14.400 --> 00:28:26.960
It's good to know that you can do more with more, and just like you said, I think I think you know, br bringing together everything that you said with all the examples that you used, it's a positive mindset.
00:28:27.119 --> 00:28:33.519
If you're coming, if you're coming in from a negative, you're not gonna get more, you're going to probably get less.
00:28:33.839 --> 00:28:40.400
Um, but if you are open to it and you can receive riches, and riches being anything, everybody always talks about money.
00:28:40.559 --> 00:28:45.119
I know as an entrepreneur, listen, sometimes you have the money, sometimes you don't.
00:28:45.519 --> 00:28:49.519
But you the wealth of what you learn, the wealth of what you know.
00:28:49.759 --> 00:28:52.400
Like I'm sitting here listening to this and I'm going, wow.
00:28:52.640 --> 00:28:53.920
I never thought of it that way.
00:28:54.000 --> 00:29:15.440
And and it's just a constant learning, it's a constant taking in of information, it's how you can use it, who we can direct to you or anyone else that has these these fantastic programs and and and um mindsets that can really change the game for you personally as well as in business.
00:29:15.599 --> 00:29:21.119
I I think it's just really awesome and and uh really clear-cut the way you've said it.
00:29:21.519 --> 00:29:22.240
That's really good.
00:29:22.799 --> 00:29:23.200
Thanks.
00:29:23.359 --> 00:29:23.680
Yeah.
00:29:24.559 --> 00:29:29.759
Yeah, I like the way that you have, like you said, you have a process to bring them through.
00:29:29.920 --> 00:29:33.680
And it's interesting too, because you are also learning a lot.
00:29:33.839 --> 00:29:37.839
Because the more you help people, the more it really does help you.
00:29:37.920 --> 00:29:45.359
And I think that's where a lot of people I think when they feel stuck, I I tell them, go help somebody.
00:29:46.480 --> 00:29:49.359
Yeah, get out of your head, go help somebody.
00:29:49.440 --> 00:30:00.079
And I like that that is something that you are also letting people understand that that is what we're all supposed to be doing anyway.
00:30:00.240 --> 00:30:04.319
We're all supposed to be here helping and learning.
00:30:04.640 --> 00:30:08.720
And the only way we could do that is by connecting.
00:30:09.200 --> 00:30:22.160
And I think that's a great way to yes, bring everything full circle in in in terms of knowing that yes, you're taking a risk, but we're here for you to take that risk.
00:30:22.400 --> 00:30:38.160
And I think that's something that Jane and I were hoping to do with the Right Room is to bring a community together that realizes that we are going to share tips, tricks, and techniques because it also reinforces what we are trying to do.
00:30:38.400 --> 00:30:44.240
The more we can help, the more we learn, and the more we understand the value in all of that.
00:30:44.720 --> 00:30:45.200
Yeah.
00:30:45.440 --> 00:30:46.880
You know, you just said something.
00:30:47.039 --> 00:30:49.039
I hope I don't let it slip out of my mind.
00:30:49.200 --> 00:30:58.799
Oh, you know, we're built certain ways to not do things alone, where it's it literally is parts of our brain that are like, this is dangerous, don't do it.
00:30:59.039 --> 00:31:14.960
And when you have someone in front of you that's like, oh, I just did that, I can hold your hand, it really gives us more softness to be willing, you know, and it's that willingness that is why we need each other.
00:31:15.200 --> 00:31:20.400
And so I hear so many people who are stuck and they're like, I can't afford a mentor right now.
00:31:20.559 --> 00:31:24.160
And it's like, you can't afford to not have a mentor right now.
00:31:24.400 --> 00:31:28.400
There's everything, we're not creating anything brand new here.
00:31:28.640 --> 00:31:32.400
There's tons of free stuff, there's tons of self-study programs.
00:31:32.640 --> 00:31:35.680
I have an obscene amount of books.
00:31:36.079 --> 00:31:41.599
But there's nothing more magical than getting on when you have full attention.
00:31:41.839 --> 00:31:45.440
And you know, when you have a friend, they have their own agenda of what they want to talk about.
00:31:45.599 --> 00:31:52.960
But when you have full attention from someone who's neutral and just wants the best for you, it's absolutely priceless.
00:31:53.119 --> 00:31:57.440
I've spent over 200K on my self-development and I plan on spending more.
00:31:57.519 --> 00:32:01.759
And I started out like making a$25 deposit to my first coach.
00:32:01.920 --> 00:32:03.759
I had$200 to my name.
00:32:03.920 --> 00:32:06.480
There's a risk, but I was like, well, what am I gonna get?
00:32:06.559 --> 00:32:08.880
A job and I'm unemployable.
00:32:08.960 --> 00:32:10.640
I am not working for anybody.
00:32:10.880 --> 00:32:20.799
So it's just like knowing that you get, you know, and this is more woo-woo, but you get um fed back when you take risks.
00:32:20.960 --> 00:32:26.799
The universe sees like, oh, well, let's, it's not even like gray, it's black and white.
00:32:26.960 --> 00:32:28.160
Oh, that's a risk.
00:32:28.319 --> 00:32:29.200
Here's more.
00:32:29.359 --> 00:32:37.039
Like my karaoke client who then got a live DJ event, that was not in her field of like she wanted it three years ago.
00:32:37.119 --> 00:32:38.960
It wasn't like she was working towards it.
00:32:39.119 --> 00:32:40.480
Of course, she's freaking out about it.
00:32:40.559 --> 00:32:43.039
She's not like, oh, cool, my life is now amazing.
00:32:43.279 --> 00:32:45.279
But at least she has an opportunity.
00:32:45.519 --> 00:32:51.039
She might go through the same process of not wanting to leave the house and blah, blah, blah, but she's still gonna go.
00:32:51.200 --> 00:32:52.880
And maybe that's who she is, right?
00:32:52.960 --> 00:32:57.599
Like, look at some of our comedians, their whole shtick is about complaining, you know.
00:32:57.759 --> 00:32:59.759
That's what they do, it's human.
00:33:00.880 --> 00:33:02.400
Yeah, like I got it.
00:33:02.480 --> 00:33:06.240
I just from what you said, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?
00:33:06.480 --> 00:33:07.440
All the way around.
00:33:07.599 --> 00:33:09.680
So definitely.
00:33:10.240 --> 00:33:10.559
Okay.
00:33:11.359 --> 00:33:13.039
Where are we going, Celeste?
00:33:13.599 --> 00:33:18.720
Well, I think that you you actually opened the door about how you started.
00:33:19.039 --> 00:33:21.680
So here you are,$200 to your name.
00:33:21.759 --> 00:33:23.440
You're risking$25.
00:33:24.480 --> 00:33:28.079
And uh, is that something you'd like to share with us?
00:33:28.240 --> 00:33:32.960
About it sounds like, yeah, you you stepped into your own risk taking.
00:33:34.000 --> 00:33:41.200
Yeah, well, right before then, I was a therapist for children with autism, and I was doing a whole bunch of learning.
00:33:41.359 --> 00:33:46.079
So my path of learning has been um children with autism.
00:33:46.240 --> 00:33:49.920
I used to work in gentlemen's clubs, so that was a whole bunch of learning.
00:33:50.160 --> 00:34:00.240
And then um, I like how I titled that, and then um then I worked with children in prison, like teenagers in prison, incarcerated youth.
00:34:00.480 --> 00:34:08.480
And I always use some form of connection to who they who was in front of me and exactly where they were at.
00:34:08.960 --> 00:34:12.320
So that's the the pass.
00:34:12.800 --> 00:34:20.400
Then I met an my improv acting teacher who it was based on saying no, and it saved my life.
00:34:20.719 --> 00:34:24.480
I was negative Nelly, so judgmental.
00:34:24.559 --> 00:34:25.760
I was self-loathing.
00:34:25.920 --> 00:34:36.800
You wouldn't have reckoned only my teacher could talk about how triggerable I was and how I just didn't even know the word embodiment, let alone experiencing it.
00:34:36.880 --> 00:34:40.719
I was just a really angry, sad, I just wanted to belong.
00:34:40.880 --> 00:34:44.960
I was giving advice, I was angry, and it was seeping out all over the place.
00:34:45.119 --> 00:34:50.719
And I went to this improv work and I dropped my social life for two years.
00:34:50.880 --> 00:34:53.039
I only went to this class.
00:34:53.519 --> 00:34:55.360
No dates, no friends.
00:34:55.440 --> 00:34:58.960
And I had a large group of like party friends and all that, and I didn't go.
00:34:59.039 --> 00:34:59.760
I stopped.
00:34:59.920 --> 00:35:04.000
And I invited everyone to this class because I was like a bully about it.
00:35:04.320 --> 00:35:10.400
Um, and I continued for the next eight years, so for 10 years, but the first two I did nothing else.
00:35:10.639 --> 00:35:15.920
And I learned these methods that I was working with children at the time and working with their parents.
00:35:16.079 --> 00:35:26.800
I'm like, they need to know this because it was play, it was being real in imaginary circumstances with a with um intensity of no.
00:35:27.360 --> 00:35:31.519
And so what that gave me was permission to have my feelings.
00:35:32.079 --> 00:35:39.599
And that took me for a ride, and um I needed this work to get out there, and I knew I needed a coach.
00:35:39.840 --> 00:35:49.519
There was somebody in class that was like, when you don't know what to do, she gives you a piece of paper, she gives you a script, and I was like, I need cheat sheets, I don't know what I'm doing.
00:35:49.760 --> 00:35:56.480
Um, and I already had a business card, like so to me, it was it wasn't, I didn't even think about the risk.
00:35:56.639 --> 00:35:57.920
I was just like, I need help.
00:35:58.079 --> 00:35:59.519
I don't know what to do.
00:35:59.760 --> 00:36:07.920
Um, I'm not someone or I wasn't someone who asked for help, but if I had to pay for it and it's a teacher, I was like, okay, that makes sense.
00:36:08.079 --> 00:36:11.199
I wasn't asking for personal free help.
00:36:11.440 --> 00:36:14.079
Um and that changed my life.
00:36:14.159 --> 00:36:16.800
It saved my life, and I used it with everyone.
00:36:16.960 --> 00:36:19.280
I used it with the four-year-old who was nonverbal.
00:36:19.440 --> 00:36:28.079
I used it with a mother, and a lot of it's based on mirror neurons, you know, mirroring the neurons and meeting the person of where that where they're at.
00:36:28.320 --> 00:36:31.519
And I grew up with teachers that were like, I'm better than you.
00:36:31.760 --> 00:36:35.199
I'm gonna, you know, very authoritarian, very mean.
00:36:35.360 --> 00:36:42.000
I was always out, you know, outside in the hallway because I was in trouble for talking, by the way.
00:36:42.320 --> 00:36:45.840
So it's like what I do now is talk.
00:36:46.000 --> 00:36:48.239
Like, this is where my money comes from.
00:36:48.559 --> 00:36:53.599
And they were telling me to shut up, you know, whatever, that's a different time, a different place.
00:36:53.920 --> 00:36:56.559
But I've always taken those risks.
00:36:56.719 --> 00:37:00.480
And that, you know, from the improv, I was like, everyone needs to learn this.
00:37:00.559 --> 00:37:03.119
And if they're not coming here, I'm gonna go out in the world.
00:37:03.360 --> 00:37:10.559
And my teachers invested in me so much, like they really showed me unconditional love.
00:37:11.039 --> 00:37:17.519
Um, it was more than an acting class, you know, and it was the same eight to ten people every week for two years.
00:37:17.840 --> 00:37:29.119
So now I experienced real community, and I couldn't prove that I was a piece of garbage because these people had seen my heart and my soul.
00:37:29.440 --> 00:37:32.159
And to everyone else, I would fight for my limitations.
00:37:32.320 --> 00:37:38.639
So I got on the fast track of really, you know, all the work that I'm here to do today.
00:37:38.800 --> 00:37:45.679
And they were so smart and they knew they were special people to invest in me because I'm like, I'm moving this forward tomorrow.
00:37:45.760 --> 00:37:47.360
I gotta learn this, you know.
00:37:47.519 --> 00:37:49.840
Um let me ask you a question, Shane.
00:37:50.079 --> 00:38:00.559
You said something, you touched on something that um even on your worst day, these people wouldn't let you fall into the worst of what you could be.
00:38:01.119 --> 00:38:04.800
So the the the importance of community, I mean it's it's huge, right?
00:38:06.239 --> 00:38:10.480
We were doing a scene and it was something about a donut shop.
00:38:10.880 --> 00:38:13.280
And you know, weight is something funny for me.
00:38:13.360 --> 00:38:20.719
And I thought they all got together, and I thought this was my mind that they were gonna have an intervention that I should be thinner.
00:38:21.039 --> 00:38:22.400
It was crazy.
00:38:22.559 --> 00:38:24.079
It was so real for me.
00:38:24.239 --> 00:38:25.599
I ran to the bathroom.
00:38:25.760 --> 00:38:33.679
I was like, you know, it was like somebody else put a pillow in, they wanted like playing with costumes, and I thought, like, they're really just making fun of me.
00:38:33.760 --> 00:38:38.000
It was so twisted, you know, saying it, but I literally ran to the bed.
00:38:38.239 --> 00:38:42.800
So they saw the worst of my moments that I would never show anybody.
00:38:43.039 --> 00:38:51.119
And they still loved me, and they we took time to digest it and open it up, and I had never been loved like that before.
00:38:51.280 --> 00:38:54.000
I would never even show up to share that stuff.
00:38:54.239 --> 00:39:07.199
I remember once I went on a very depressed day and I just sat quietly and I wasn't the Shane show, like people think, and I for me to leave the house on a day like that, to be seen by strangers.
00:39:07.360 --> 00:39:15.039
You know, when I say strangers, I mean people outside myself, it was the worst thing and the best thing I could have done for myself.
00:39:15.199 --> 00:39:20.159
It was like exposing all that I felt, my ugly dark parts.
00:39:20.639 --> 00:39:24.800
And my teacher so brilliantly gave me a character of being a monster.
00:39:25.039 --> 00:39:27.920
So I got to embody the feelings.
00:39:28.320 --> 00:39:32.400
And then I was like, oh, and then I literally looked different.
00:39:32.559 --> 00:39:34.480
Like my eyeballs looked brighter.
00:39:34.639 --> 00:39:38.639
Everybody, we all looked younger, our cheeks were flushed, which they're probably right now.
00:39:38.800 --> 00:39:48.000
Like when we're alive in that moment, you said something earlier when it's like it's that moment of like, oh, I'm terrified, I'm doing it anyway.
00:39:48.320 --> 00:39:59.440
There's a dopamine like floods our system, and all the healthy chemicals that rejuvenate the cells of our body start to fire, and we look younger, you know.
00:39:59.599 --> 00:40:01.840
It's really, it's science.
00:40:02.559 --> 00:40:04.800
It's the kind of science class I like.
00:40:05.280 --> 00:40:06.239
Yeah, definitely.
00:40:06.320 --> 00:40:07.840
It's like it's like war reward.
00:40:08.079 --> 00:40:08.880
That's what you become.
00:40:09.039 --> 00:40:25.679
You become, I guess you you embody um, you know, the stress, you you take on all of that, that physical, that physicality of of the risk, not not leaning into the risk and learning how to deal with it, um, just really wears wears down on you.
00:40:25.760 --> 00:40:32.239
But this is, I mean, to me, this is excellent um advice, programming.
00:40:32.480 --> 00:40:53.519
Um I like the way you the the way you look at at the way things were, like the way things, you know, like listening to you talk, I'm like, oh yeah, I had those days where, you know, everything was anger because you know, who is who was judging or who I thought was judging, um, you know, it it does take a toll on you.
00:40:53.599 --> 00:41:01.039
And and this is just really amazing to hear that, you know, um I'm listening to it now and I'm going, it was somebody else that felt that way.
00:41:01.440 --> 00:41:04.639
You know, that's that's exactly why we're doing this.
00:41:04.719 --> 00:41:18.400
We want make we want to make sure that there are people, this stuff reaches people that may not even want to admit it to themselves, but now to hear it, and now, you know, like like listening to you, I'm sitting there going, Yeah, that was me.
00:41:18.559 --> 00:41:28.239
I wouldn't, you know, that angry and and and concerned and and on a timeline and on a deadline, and and what's this one gonna think and what's that one gonna think?
00:41:29.280 --> 00:41:41.119
And then you get to a point where it's just overwhelming, and you either reach out to somebody and you have great community around you, like you said, or you know, the alternative is not a good one.
00:41:41.360 --> 00:41:44.880
And um I think that's the best message that you bring.
00:41:45.039 --> 00:41:52.320
The alternative is not a good one, you have to make those take make those changes, take those steps to be in a different place.
00:41:52.719 --> 00:42:10.800
Yeah, especially these days, because I I know that that lockdown did a number on everybody, whether we understand it or not, but the disconnect is there, and a lot of people are complaining about it.
00:42:11.039 --> 00:42:36.239
People that I speak to, people that I read about, the subject matter is I can't get anybody on the phone, I can't get anybody to answer an email, I have people calling, but they don't tell me why they're calling, they won't leave a voicemail, or I call them back, they don't pick up, and it's we have all this communication, and people are feeling still that disconnect.
00:42:36.480 --> 00:42:42.239
And I think until we start to come together in groups like that, and I uh and I love improv too.
00:42:42.320 --> 00:42:58.800
I I did it as well, and it and it is a great community, but there's so many different communities out there, whether it's dancing or poetry or like you said, music, something in the arts, something that is not business related.
00:42:58.960 --> 00:43:13.840
I'm not talking network events, I'm talking about an actual group that you attend because it is fun, it is enlightening, and it is an opportunity for you to connect with people and be yourself.
00:43:14.320 --> 00:43:16.960
I think that we need that more than ever.
00:43:17.599 --> 00:43:24.960
And I think the idea of finding those communities is very important because things are opening up.
00:43:25.039 --> 00:43:31.760
You do not need to sit in the comfort of your home, as comfortable as it is, with a couch in every room.
00:43:32.639 --> 00:43:43.599
We do have to walk outside and sit on somebody else's couch and be with them and have that conversation of how are you today?
00:43:43.760 --> 00:43:45.039
Not just I'm fine.
00:43:45.119 --> 00:43:47.519
No, how are you today?
00:43:47.840 --> 00:43:58.719
And we take the time to listen because you're right a mentor, a therapist, a coach, whatever it is you need to be heard.
00:44:00.320 --> 00:44:05.519
To understand what you need to do to move forward is invaluable.
00:44:05.679 --> 00:44:09.840
And Shane, I think that your program is amazing.
00:44:10.079 --> 00:44:19.440
And I'm so glad that we have the chance to introduce you to hopefully a bigger audience and have an opportunity.
00:44:19.599 --> 00:44:25.440
We were going to make sure everybody will have your information to be able to contact you.
00:44:25.679 --> 00:44:28.000
Is there anything else that you would like to add?
00:44:28.159 --> 00:44:28.719
Anything else?
00:44:28.880 --> 00:44:32.480
Is there a good way for them to reach out to you?
00:44:33.519 --> 00:44:44.000
Since I'm a big advocate of play, I would say like go to your Google bar and type in Shane or Enchantress Shane and see what comes up and click something.
00:44:44.159 --> 00:44:45.519
Like I'm all over the place.
00:44:45.679 --> 00:44:46.639
I've written some books.
00:44:46.719 --> 00:44:47.920
There's a bunch of articles.
00:44:48.079 --> 00:44:49.199
I'm all over YouTube.
00:44:49.599 --> 00:44:55.840
And because I really trust that whatever the person finds will be just right for them.
00:44:56.079 --> 00:44:58.320
Um yeah, so play with that.
00:44:58.400 --> 00:45:02.480
You know, sometimes I do that because I listen, I need my own support, you know?
00:45:02.719 --> 00:45:06.480
And so yeah, just typing in my name and seeing what comes up.
00:45:06.559 --> 00:45:11.840
Um, and of course, you can always find me on social media all over the place, but yeah, make it a game.
00:45:12.079 --> 00:45:14.000
Or in the water in Rockaway.
00:45:14.239 --> 00:45:18.880
She's or in the water and warning dipping that you'll never catch me dead at.
00:45:19.840 --> 00:45:20.800
Sounds like me.
00:45:21.039 --> 00:45:21.679
I don't know.
00:45:21.840 --> 00:45:23.920
I mean uh I'm too cold.
00:45:24.159 --> 00:45:25.519
Too cold all the time.
00:45:27.360 --> 00:45:28.719
I'll meet you in July.
00:45:28.800 --> 00:45:30.079
That that'll be good.
00:45:30.320 --> 00:45:32.000
Yeah, totally understand.
00:45:32.239 --> 00:45:32.880
Yeah.
00:45:34.159 --> 00:45:35.119
Uh, all right.
00:45:35.199 --> 00:45:38.320
Well, I think that that really covers everything.
00:45:38.400 --> 00:45:42.880
Uh if there's anything else that you can think of, Shane, um, that you want to add.
00:45:44.320 --> 00:45:49.519
I want to tell everyone that you're right and you don't have to prove it to anybody.
00:45:49.679 --> 00:45:51.920
Like that's what somebody told me years ago.
00:45:52.000 --> 00:45:57.440
Um, and I don't know if it's a New Yorker thing, but like fighting to be right, it just it's terrible.
00:45:57.599 --> 00:45:59.760
You're never gonna make everybody believe you're right.
00:45:59.840 --> 00:46:01.679
So just know that you're already right.
00:46:01.920 --> 00:46:03.519
And we're in the right room to say that.
00:46:03.599 --> 00:46:04.480
So it feels really cool.
00:46:04.880 --> 00:46:05.360
There you go.
00:46:05.599 --> 00:46:06.000
Appreciate it.
00:46:06.320 --> 00:46:06.880
Thanks for the time.
00:46:08.079 --> 00:46:09.119
Thank you so much.
00:46:09.360 --> 00:46:10.239
Well, that's it.
00:46:10.400 --> 00:46:11.440
I think we're all good.
00:46:11.760 --> 00:46:13.360
Celeste, anything else?
00:46:13.679 --> 00:46:15.119
I I think this was great.
00:46:15.199 --> 00:46:16.880
And Shane, thank you so much.
00:46:17.039 --> 00:46:24.880
You are our first guest, and and and this was the I don't think we could have asked for anything or anybody better.
00:46:25.039 --> 00:46:26.639
So thank you very much.
00:46:27.039 --> 00:46:28.719
Very much, very much so.
00:46:28.880 --> 00:46:36.400
Um, so now what we're gonna do is we're going to clean this up because, of course, you know, all of the ums and ahs that Shane does.
00:46:36.559 --> 00:46:38.000
Um, but we'll clean it all up.
00:46:38.320 --> 00:46:39.679
I'm not worried about ums and ahs.
00:46:41.760 --> 00:46:45.679
Honestly, I I don't know that I would have to really edit very much.
00:46:45.920 --> 00:46:46.960
Yeah, this was amazing.
00:46:47.119 --> 00:46:51.039
I would have liked you to give me a little bit more time before going, okay, we're done.
00:46:51.920 --> 00:46:54.880
But I'll find the ending there.
00:46:55.840 --> 00:46:56.000
Okay.
00:46:56.800 --> 00:46:58.880
Yeah, see, all a learning process.
00:46:59.039 --> 00:47:07.199
I have to, and I'm gonna tell you, you know you you said about meeting somebody um and working with someone to get you to move?
00:47:07.440 --> 00:47:07.920
Yeah.
00:47:08.159 --> 00:47:13.519
I've been trying to do this thing with the right room for almost two years now.
00:47:14.000 --> 00:47:19.760
And I don't even know how it happened, but I mentioned it to Celeste, what, about six months ago?
00:47:20.239 --> 00:47:21.519
Maybe four months ago?
00:47:21.920 --> 00:47:24.239
And she's like, Well, I I could work with you on that.
00:47:24.320 --> 00:47:25.039
And I'm like, really?
00:47:25.519 --> 00:47:28.400
And just the whole yeah, but you know what it was?
00:47:28.559 --> 00:47:32.639
The whole the weight of it became less.
00:47:33.039 --> 00:47:35.360
It's like, oh, well, wait a minute.
00:47:35.440 --> 00:47:39.039
Now it's not just the me show, it's Celeste, what do you think?
00:47:39.199 --> 00:47:50.079
And it and unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you look at it, I've been working with a partner in business or work or whatever since I'm 18, 19 years old.
00:47:50.320 --> 00:47:53.360
So for me to be on my own has been very tough.
00:47:53.679 --> 00:48:02.960
But just what you said, having somebody, something, some touchstone that you can put in your life, in your business, whatever, it's so meaningful.
00:48:03.199 --> 00:48:06.480
And thank you so much for pointing that out to everybody.
00:48:06.800 --> 00:48:08.320
Yeah, beautiful.
00:48:08.559 --> 00:48:15.760
I have in the back of my head um that if if I don't know, I don't want to, but Celeste, if you want to add on now.
00:48:16.239 --> 00:48:17.280
I'm adding all of this on.
00:48:17.599 --> 00:48:17.840
Okay.
00:48:18.400 --> 00:48:19.679
No, but I don't yeah, I don't know.
00:48:19.760 --> 00:48:20.880
I'm just I'm here for it.
00:48:20.960 --> 00:48:24.079
If you wanted to say more and then splice it at the end.
00:48:25.360 --> 00:48:26.880
Yeah, this is this this all works.
00:48:26.960 --> 00:48:29.519
This is we're not here to be perfect, really.
00:48:29.760 --> 00:48:30.480
Okay, great, great.
00:48:30.559 --> 00:48:33.920
And I just want to let you know, like, I'm okay, I have some time if you needed to.
00:48:34.079 --> 00:48:36.639
I don't know, both of you wanted to add stuff on, or I don't know.
00:48:37.119 --> 00:48:47.599
No, it's it's just that you know, I mean, I'm sure that it'll come to me like or or it'll come to Celeste afterwards, but you know, we'll listen, Shane, if you're willing, we'll be more than happy to have you on again.
00:48:47.760 --> 00:48:58.320
Um to to uh be on because we're our plan with this is to not only just do these uh interviews, do like a panel or or you know, uh a mic.
00:48:59.519 --> 00:48:59.920
All of it.
00:49:00.000 --> 00:49:01.280
Yeah, that'd be good.
00:49:01.519 --> 00:49:02.480
That would be good.
00:49:02.800 --> 00:49:03.440
That'd be great.
00:49:03.599 --> 00:49:15.920
Yeah, I just thought to myself, like, ooh, I could and if you were open to guests, I mean sure you have a a major amount, but like my um doula woman, the gen 3.0, she's an amazing speaker and guest open.
00:49:16.639 --> 00:49:19.599
But she shows up and like she could really do it well.
00:49:19.920 --> 00:49:21.280
We're always open to guests.
00:49:21.440 --> 00:49:27.840
If you know of anybody that can use it, just shoot me an email, shoot me their email, and and I'll get reach out to them.
00:49:27.920 --> 00:49:36.400
Just you know, if you want to do a soft intro, that'd be perfect because we're always looking for anyone and any anyone and anything that they cover.
00:49:36.639 --> 00:49:39.119
Um, we look to have the conversation.
00:49:39.280 --> 00:49:40.159
That's all it is.
00:49:40.800 --> 00:49:45.440
And is your audience um, I guess it's everybody, but uh it doesn't feel women focused.
00:49:45.519 --> 00:49:46.800
Is that is that true?
00:49:47.440 --> 00:49:55.119
I don't think we really had uh have a focus other than you know we're we're trying to concentrate a little bit right now on on business and entrepreneurship.
00:49:55.360 --> 00:49:57.280
Um I don't know where it's gonna go.
00:49:57.360 --> 00:49:59.039
We don't we don't know where it's gonna go.
00:49:59.199 --> 00:50:04.320
So yeah, it could be a little bit of everything, a little bit of anything, and a little bit of nothing.
00:50:04.639 --> 00:50:05.199
I love that.
00:50:06.800 --> 00:50:18.320
Yeah, I like I have another interview and it's like divine feminine leadership, and I'm like, I don't know, I'm trying to just be with people and like I've been in the women's world so long that it seems like a jump, but I think it's not.
00:50:18.480 --> 00:50:20.159
I think it's just a jump in my own head.
00:50:20.239 --> 00:50:38.719
It's not really it really is because yeah, when I started my speaking business, it was targeted for women, and yet I did not do one uh presentation where men weren't there uh uh for one reason or another.
00:50:38.960 --> 00:50:43.199
They wanted to come uh to support their wife or their girlfriend.
00:50:43.360 --> 00:50:52.960
Um, one group came because it was for a woman's union, and the the other men in the union wanted to be there to support them.
00:50:53.039 --> 00:50:54.719
They just uh and they showed up.
00:50:54.800 --> 00:51:04.960
And it what was really interesting to me was having men come up to me and say, you know, I realized that you were focusing this on the women, but I got so much out of it.
00:51:05.519 --> 00:51:15.360
I I really felt that there were so many things that you were talking about, tools that you were given that I can use.
00:51:15.440 --> 00:51:17.440
And I said, Well, I'm so glad to hear that.
00:51:17.519 --> 00:51:25.840
I mean, it I said I I did it for women because I felt like men already knew how to do this, and they said, You would think so, right?
00:51:26.000 --> 00:51:29.199
You know, so I then I realized, oh, you know something?
00:51:29.760 --> 00:52:03.679
I I I really have to understand that when we're all talking about inclusion and diversity, it is everybody, it is men, it is women, it is everything, and everybody um it doesn't matter if you're an electrician, you know, or if you're an architect, again, we are all dealing with the same misgivings, the same self-doubts, the same idea of am I good enough?
00:52:03.840 --> 00:52:08.639
And I think that we all struggle with that in one form or another.
00:52:08.880 --> 00:52:20.320
And that's why, again, to have a community that says, Yeah, listen, we're all like that, so get over yourself, you know, because whatever it is you're trying to do, we got your back.
00:52:20.559 --> 00:52:21.440
Yeah, yeah.
00:52:21.599 --> 00:52:24.880
And it's so oh it's so interesting to hear like men.
00:52:25.039 --> 00:52:28.000
It's like there's different kinds, you know, there's different kinds of women.
00:52:28.159 --> 00:52:30.079
Women are not just one woman.
00:52:30.320 --> 00:52:35.760
Anyway, it's so, yeah, it's just a like a funny limitation that's so clear right now.
00:52:36.800 --> 00:52:40.320
Yeah, and so that we yeah, we left it open-ended.
00:52:40.639 --> 00:53:00.480
We we just yeah, it it's the idea is we're going to look at different careers, different perspectives, different mindsets, just to have hopefully develop a compassion and empathy for each other.
00:53:00.719 --> 00:53:27.440
Because when you kind of get into the nitty-gritty of what somebody goes through, because it's like, oh, that looks like that looks so glamorous, and like, yeah, let me tell you what's happening behind the scenes, and you go, Well, that's a lot of work and that's a lot of pressure, and you have a different understanding now of what that person is doing and how they are presenting themselves, but you get the idea of all the work that they put into it for to make it look easy.
00:53:27.679 --> 00:53:28.719
Yeah, oh yeah.
00:53:28.800 --> 00:53:31.039
Uh yeah, I'm reading this great book right now.
00:53:31.119 --> 00:53:33.199
It's called 100 million offers.
00:53:33.519 --> 00:53:34.159
Have you heard of it?
00:53:34.239 --> 00:53:35.360
It's like a workbook.
00:53:35.599 --> 00:53:36.079
Oh, okay.
00:53:36.400 --> 00:53:38.239
I heard of it the other day, believe me or not.
00:53:38.400 --> 00:53:45.280
Uh on some some TikTok, and they were just talking all about what you just said in such a friendly, cool way.
00:53:46.159 --> 00:53:52.960
Yeah, I just got into it last night, but um, yeah, this feels so full, like of potential of so many things.
00:53:53.119 --> 00:53:55.440
So I'm here to support it anyway, you know.
00:53:55.519 --> 00:53:58.480
And if you want me to share it on Rockaway Creates, like just let me know.
00:53:58.559 --> 00:53:59.920
I I would love to.
00:54:01.840 --> 00:54:04.159
This has been a great interview.
00:54:04.320 --> 00:54:07.039
Thank you, Shane, again for coming on.
00:54:07.360 --> 00:54:12.400
I believe we learned so much, and I am looking forward to having you again.
00:54:12.639 --> 00:54:14.559
Well, thank you for coming to the right room.
00:54:14.639 --> 00:54:16.079
I'm Celeste Camps.
00:54:16.320 --> 00:54:17.519
I'm Jane Parmel.
00:54:17.840 --> 00:54:18.639
Thank you, Shane.
00:54:18.960 --> 00:54:20.800
We'll see you again in the right room.
00:54:20.960 --> 00:54:21.519
Thank you.
00:54:21.760 --> 00:54:23.119
Bye-bye, everybody.
