00:00:11
Speaker 1: Welcome to a bonus episode of We Will Always Have. It's just a little tidbit to tide you over where Chrissy and I talk shit. Let me draw a card. It's from a wisdom deck of cards. I like to do this at the start of every episode because I do believe that the spirit world has a message for you. Now stop it, okay? I am a changed person. I believe in the spirits. I believe in signs. And I believe this is the card that you need to hear today. If you have a family that loves you, a few good friends, food on your table, and a roof over your head, you are richer than you think. That is the sound of Christine's favourite conversation starters that I'm having a great time with.
00:01:13
Speaker 2: Just in case Kez is listening.
00:01:17
Speaker 1: That's mum. Mum's feedback to Christine, which she'll be mortified, I told you.
00:01:20
Speaker 2: It's absolutely fine.
00:01:22
Speaker 1: Doing that beauty influence, the thing of tapping her fingernails on everything.
00:01:25
Speaker 2: On my blind boxes.
00:01:26
Speaker 1: Oh, God. I love it. And I said to mum, I know, mum. Let's just try living with her.
00:01:31
Speaker 2: Oh, here we go. Have you ever pretended to be in a relationship?
00:01:35
Speaker 1: Yes.
00:01:35
Speaker 2: So I want to expand on that.
00:01:37
Speaker 1: Oh.
00:01:37
Speaker 2: Have you ever had to pretend to be in a relationship for the work that you do.
00:01:41
Speaker 1: The business that you're in? Yeah, I've had to pretend. I pretend I got engaged and married.
00:01:45
Speaker 2: No.
00:01:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I had a stalker.
00:01:47
Speaker 2: Really?
00:01:48
Speaker 1: Yes. Oh my God, Christine, this story is amazing.
00:01:52
Speaker 2: And I'm ready. Go.
00:01:53
Speaker 1: Okay, so you know how I'd list my services?
00:01:56
Speaker 2: Yes.
00:01:56
Speaker 1: Cheeky massages. Yes. For, what do I say if the government calls? Remedial. Oh, they're remedial. They're therapeutical. Right?
00:02:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, perfect.
00:02:05
Speaker 1: Wink, wink, winking into the microphone. So when someone messages me, especially if they're paying, I'm not picky and I don't mind, but I'm not going to ask for photos or ages or anything, right? Because I find that's a bit inappropriate. Yeah.
00:02:18
Speaker 2: To safeguard yourself, I think that's very appropriate.
00:02:21
Speaker 1: No, no, that's like, oh, no, you're too old. Oh, no, don't do that body shape. Like, I'm happy to accept everyone. I don't need to know. Okay. If they're wanting a freebie, I need a photo of every interview, right? Okay. Because I'm not giving it away for free.
00:02:35
Speaker 2: You know your worst. Okay.
00:02:37
Speaker 1: So I get a message from this guy and I was like, yeah, yeah, sure, over you come. Oh, my God, Christine. Christine.
00:02:45
Speaker 2: All the hands up to the eyes in a shameful manner.
00:02:47
Speaker 1: He was 86.
00:02:52
Speaker 2: Not that there's anything wrong.
00:02:54
Speaker 1: Look, 86-year-olds have needs.
00:02:55
Speaker 2: 86-year-old men still are active. Some are.
00:02:59
Speaker 1: He was so sexually active and on the apps and, like, telling me all these things. Anyways, he comes in and I was like, oh, fine. Oh, my gosh. Totally fine. Again, it's fine.
00:03:11
Speaker 2: I would have loved to have seen your face when you opened the door.
00:03:13
Speaker 1: Oh, no, no, no, no. My face was fine. He takes all his clothes off. I was like, fine. And then he goes, he grabs my hand and he... Look, I don't want to make fun of this. It's not me making fun of it. It was just very unexpected. And he puts it down on one of his testicles and he said, squeeze. And I was like, ooh. What? It was a pump. One testicle was a pump. And so... don't that's how so i had to pump his don't it's not funny it's like some people have i don't want to laugh at that but i was just through me so much and i was like wow he really must love sex if he's at 86 getting a pump installed and he was i was really proud of it i was like oh that's great He didn't want a massage. He wasn't there for that. So it was straight, but he was like all over me, but it felt like a snail. And I was just like, oh my God, this is like, this is horrific. Like this is when I was like, oh no, like, and thankfully, thank God he didn't last long. Thank God. Anyway, so he finishes and then proceeds to tell me that we were meant to be together. Oh, bless. Not like that. In a much more sexually aggressive way.
00:04:38
Speaker 2: Oh, really?
00:04:38
Speaker 1: Yeah, not in a great way.
00:04:39
Speaker 2: And like what? What did he say?
00:04:41
Speaker 1: Oh, he was like, oh, now you're my plaything and side piece. He was married. He had a wife. Oh. But then said he hadn't had sex with her in 30 years. And, like, it was really awkward because he also brought me gifts that his wife had knitted. I'm sorry.
00:05:12
Speaker 2: I'm sorry. This is highly inappropriate to be laughing at. But just that whole scenario.
00:05:16
Speaker 1: But I wonder if she knew and she was like, thank you for taking him off my plate.
00:05:20
Speaker 2: I don't think she's doing that with saying thank you with crocheting.
00:05:24
Speaker 1: They were some nice beanies. And so I accepted them.
00:05:28
Speaker 2: So did you see him more than once?
00:05:30
Speaker 1: The story gets... Oh, my God. He was then quite forceful in his language... being like, okay, well, I'm seeing you again tomorrow. And I was like, oh, my God. And it was just like he was definitely very possessive.
00:05:45
Speaker 2: Wow.
00:05:46
Speaker 1: And he was tiny. He was this tiny, tiny guy. So I felt safe because I'm like a breeze would blow it over.
00:05:51
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:05:52
Speaker 1: But he was just the way he was talking about me and the way he wanted me to respond to everything, it was just really uncomfortable. And I just was like, just say yes and get him out of the house. I was like, yes, absolutely. Oh, absolutely. Like I'm never actually going to see him again. And so I said yes to everything and then he leaves and then he's texting me constantly. Really? All the time. And I just, well, I didn't respond. I was just like, oh, no.
00:06:20
Speaker 2: I would have blocked his ass.
00:06:21
Speaker 1: No time. So about three weeks goes past.
00:06:26
Speaker 2: After you've completely ghosted him.
00:06:28
Speaker 1: Yeah. I had said to him, look, I'm actually not doing this anymore. Oh, fair, cool. So thank you for your. dust you know yep anyway not for me but i was still doing it and so i was taking bookings and then i just got a booking and they arrived and i was at the door and there he was and i was like what it was a different number and then he was so happy he was like gotcha and i'm sitting there going oh my god he goes i got a new sim card got a different number because you weren't answering my old one and i was like what is wrong with this guy and i was like That's scary shit. That was scary. And I didn't know what to do because he just sort of walked in and then he was all over me. I'm like, oh my God, oh my God, I don't know what to do. And then he just walked straight to my bedroom. I was like, oh my God, what's happening? He was real forceful there. Like really like... Why did you lie? You've got to say yes. And like, just real, nothing like, it wasn't raping.
00:07:22
Speaker 2: No.
00:07:22
Speaker 1: I mean, although I didn't want to do it, I just did it to get it over and done with. And then I was like, okay, see ya. And he wouldn't leave until I like agreed to commit to him. It was weird. And I was just like, get out of my house.
00:07:34
Speaker 2: At any stage did you say, hang on, I don't like this. This is not for me.
00:07:38
Speaker 1: No, no, no.
00:07:39
Speaker 2: You need to go.
00:07:40
Speaker 1: My language was initially I was not going to say yes to things. This is going to get me into more hot water. So I was like, no, no. So I won't accept that as an answer. You've got to say yes. I was like, oh, well, you know, I've got it. No, no. And so I was just like, I just need this to be over. Yes. Good. And then it wrapped up and I was just like, what the fuck? I can't believe he got a new SIM card. Anyway, so he messages me again. And I'm like, I need to shut this down. I actually stopped doing it completely after that.
00:08:09
Speaker 2: Wow.
00:08:10
Speaker 1: So I think he may have died, hopefully. He was that old. I've rejoined and he hasn't messaged. But he was like, when are you back? I was generally going to Sydney. I think we were, I think we may have been doing something for a period of time or was going away. And I was like, oh, I'll be back, you know. And then I gave up. I lied and I said I was going to Sydney for six months. And then sure enough, six months later, he's like, oh, you said you'd be home exactly at this time. He messaged me exactly on the day I said I'd be home. Fake be home.
00:08:35
Speaker 2: That's scary shit.
00:08:36
Speaker 1: And so I said, oh, my God, I'm actually not home. I found a life partner and I got engaged and married and I'm now living in Sydney. So I just pretended to be married. And he was like, oh, that's really disappointing. Let me know if you're ever back. And the only reason why I'll be able to know if he texts me again is because, and I can't believe I didn't pick up on this, He's so old he doesn't know how to use the space bar, so he used a full stop as a space. And he's the only one that I've ever seen do that. And those two messages.
00:09:01
Speaker 2: Oh, well, there you go. You'll know next time. Well, that's very scary. This was only recently.
00:09:06
Speaker 1: This was 18 months ago. Wow.
00:09:10
Speaker 2: Well, that is scary.
00:09:12
Speaker 1: Yeah. Did you put the card away again? Oh, my God. Please read that. You okay? It looks like you've got a notification on your phone. Are you pretending that you've got a notification to get out of this segment?
00:09:24
Speaker 2: Have I ever seduced someone?
00:09:26
Speaker 1: Well, yes. Or did Rick seduce you?
00:09:29
Speaker 2: Did Rick seduce me? Did I seduce him? I think it was a mutual thing, actually.
00:09:35
Speaker 1: You seduced each other.
00:09:38
Speaker 2: We met at Hill Street, which is a nightclub in Sydney, right?
00:09:42
Speaker 1: Oh, no, I can imagine.
00:09:42
Speaker 2: And this is a really funny story because he and I were on the edges of the dance floor and in the middle of the dance floor was this guy in a safari suit.
00:09:52
Speaker 1: Bob Down.
00:09:53
Speaker 2: No, we love Bob Down. If you've ever watched Seinfeld, you'll know there's a guy that used to wear it. So he and I were looking at each other laughing because we were connecting of what was going on. Yeah, Ricardo fell pretty hard, poor bugger. He didn't have a chance. I was in my prime then. I was in my absolute prime. I looked great. But I let him hang for about a week before I called him. And to this day, he will swear black and blue, but he didn't kiss me for six weeks. Six weeks.
00:10:23
Speaker 1: That's a long time.
00:10:24
Speaker 2: I agree with you. He will say I'm lying.
00:10:26
Speaker 1: Abstinent for six weeks?
00:10:28
Speaker 2: No, that did not happen, but six weeks.
00:10:30
Speaker 1: Well, what's his recollection? He's like, oh, it was at least a year.
00:10:33
Speaker 2: No, he reckons it was a lot sooner than that. And I said, well, I don't believe it was.
00:10:38
Speaker 1: Do you know what that is? What? He was playing multiple people at the same time.
00:10:42
Speaker 2: Probably. Probably was. But no, we, yeah, that was our little love story.
00:10:47
Speaker 1: Our little seduction of each other.
00:10:50
Speaker 2: Boring, he's saying.
00:10:51
Speaker 1: No, no, I just think it's sweet.
00:10:53
Speaker 2: It doesn't quite get up to your standards of your 86-year-old.
00:10:57
Speaker 1: My seduction is sending nudes to someone. It's a seduction. I mean, it works 15% of the time. 15% of the time it works every time.
00:11:07
Speaker 2: Are you a taxidermist? Because I'd pay to stuff my beaver. Because I'd pay you to stuff my beaver.
00:11:14
Speaker 1: Wow, your delivery is so on point. Oh, dear me.
Speaker 1: Welcome to a bonus episode of We Will Always Have. It's just a little tidbit to tide you over where Chrissy and I talk shit. Let me draw a card. It's from a wisdom deck of cards. I like to do this at the start of every episode because I do believe that the spirit world has a message for you. Now stop it, okay? I am a changed person. I believe in the spirits. I believe in signs. And I believe this is the card that you need to hear today. If you have a family that loves you, a few good friends, food on your table, and a roof over your head, you are richer than you think. That is the sound of Christine's favourite conversation starters that I'm having a great time with.
00:01:13
Speaker 2: Just in case Kez is listening.
00:01:17
Speaker 1: That's mum. Mum's feedback to Christine, which she'll be mortified, I told you.
00:01:20
Speaker 2: It's absolutely fine.
00:01:22
Speaker 1: Doing that beauty influence, the thing of tapping her fingernails on everything.
00:01:25
Speaker 2: On my blind boxes.
00:01:26
Speaker 1: Oh, God. I love it. And I said to mum, I know, mum. Let's just try living with her.
00:01:31
Speaker 2: Oh, here we go. Have you ever pretended to be in a relationship?
00:01:35
Speaker 1: Yes.
00:01:35
Speaker 2: So I want to expand on that.
00:01:37
Speaker 1: Oh.
00:01:37
Speaker 2: Have you ever had to pretend to be in a relationship for the work that you do.
00:01:41
Speaker 1: The business that you're in? Yeah, I've had to pretend. I pretend I got engaged and married.
00:01:45
Speaker 2: No.
00:01:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I had a stalker.
00:01:47
Speaker 2: Really?
00:01:48
Speaker 1: Yes. Oh my God, Christine, this story is amazing.
00:01:52
Speaker 2: And I'm ready. Go.
00:01:53
Speaker 1: Okay, so you know how I'd list my services?
00:01:56
Speaker 2: Yes.
00:01:56
Speaker 1: Cheeky massages. Yes. For, what do I say if the government calls? Remedial. Oh, they're remedial. They're therapeutical. Right?
00:02:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, perfect.
00:02:05
Speaker 1: Wink, wink, winking into the microphone. So when someone messages me, especially if they're paying, I'm not picky and I don't mind, but I'm not going to ask for photos or ages or anything, right? Because I find that's a bit inappropriate. Yeah.
00:02:18
Speaker 2: To safeguard yourself, I think that's very appropriate.
00:02:21
Speaker 1: No, no, that's like, oh, no, you're too old. Oh, no, don't do that body shape. Like, I'm happy to accept everyone. I don't need to know. Okay. If they're wanting a freebie, I need a photo of every interview, right? Okay. Because I'm not giving it away for free.
00:02:35
Speaker 2: You know your worst. Okay.
00:02:37
Speaker 1: So I get a message from this guy and I was like, yeah, yeah, sure, over you come. Oh, my God, Christine. Christine.
00:02:45
Speaker 2: All the hands up to the eyes in a shameful manner.
00:02:47
Speaker 1: He was 86.
00:02:52
Speaker 2: Not that there's anything wrong.
00:02:54
Speaker 1: Look, 86-year-olds have needs.
00:02:55
Speaker 2: 86-year-old men still are active. Some are.
00:02:59
Speaker 1: He was so sexually active and on the apps and, like, telling me all these things. Anyways, he comes in and I was like, oh, fine. Oh, my gosh. Totally fine. Again, it's fine.
00:03:11
Speaker 2: I would have loved to have seen your face when you opened the door.
00:03:13
Speaker 1: Oh, no, no, no, no. My face was fine. He takes all his clothes off. I was like, fine. And then he goes, he grabs my hand and he... Look, I don't want to make fun of this. It's not me making fun of it. It was just very unexpected. And he puts it down on one of his testicles and he said, squeeze. And I was like, ooh. What? It was a pump. One testicle was a pump. And so... don't that's how so i had to pump his don't it's not funny it's like some people have i don't want to laugh at that but i was just through me so much and i was like wow he really must love sex if he's at 86 getting a pump installed and he was i was really proud of it i was like oh that's great He didn't want a massage. He wasn't there for that. So it was straight, but he was like all over me, but it felt like a snail. And I was just like, oh my God, this is like, this is horrific. Like this is when I was like, oh no, like, and thankfully, thank God he didn't last long. Thank God. Anyway, so he finishes and then proceeds to tell me that we were meant to be together. Oh, bless. Not like that. In a much more sexually aggressive way.
00:04:38
Speaker 2: Oh, really?
00:04:38
Speaker 1: Yeah, not in a great way.
00:04:39
Speaker 2: And like what? What did he say?
00:04:41
Speaker 1: Oh, he was like, oh, now you're my plaything and side piece. He was married. He had a wife. Oh. But then said he hadn't had sex with her in 30 years. And, like, it was really awkward because he also brought me gifts that his wife had knitted. I'm sorry.
00:05:12
Speaker 2: I'm sorry. This is highly inappropriate to be laughing at. But just that whole scenario.
00:05:16
Speaker 1: But I wonder if she knew and she was like, thank you for taking him off my plate.
00:05:20
Speaker 2: I don't think she's doing that with saying thank you with crocheting.
00:05:24
Speaker 1: They were some nice beanies. And so I accepted them.
00:05:28
Speaker 2: So did you see him more than once?
00:05:30
Speaker 1: The story gets... Oh, my God. He was then quite forceful in his language... being like, okay, well, I'm seeing you again tomorrow. And I was like, oh, my God. And it was just like he was definitely very possessive.
00:05:45
Speaker 2: Wow.
00:05:46
Speaker 1: And he was tiny. He was this tiny, tiny guy. So I felt safe because I'm like a breeze would blow it over.
00:05:51
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:05:52
Speaker 1: But he was just the way he was talking about me and the way he wanted me to respond to everything, it was just really uncomfortable. And I just was like, just say yes and get him out of the house. I was like, yes, absolutely. Oh, absolutely. Like I'm never actually going to see him again. And so I said yes to everything and then he leaves and then he's texting me constantly. Really? All the time. And I just, well, I didn't respond. I was just like, oh, no.
00:06:20
Speaker 2: I would have blocked his ass.
00:06:21
Speaker 1: No time. So about three weeks goes past.
00:06:26
Speaker 2: After you've completely ghosted him.
00:06:28
Speaker 1: Yeah. I had said to him, look, I'm actually not doing this anymore. Oh, fair, cool. So thank you for your. dust you know yep anyway not for me but i was still doing it and so i was taking bookings and then i just got a booking and they arrived and i was at the door and there he was and i was like what it was a different number and then he was so happy he was like gotcha and i'm sitting there going oh my god he goes i got a new sim card got a different number because you weren't answering my old one and i was like what is wrong with this guy and i was like That's scary shit. That was scary. And I didn't know what to do because he just sort of walked in and then he was all over me. I'm like, oh my God, oh my God, I don't know what to do. And then he just walked straight to my bedroom. I was like, oh my God, what's happening? He was real forceful there. Like really like... Why did you lie? You've got to say yes. And like, just real, nothing like, it wasn't raping.
00:07:22
Speaker 2: No.
00:07:22
Speaker 1: I mean, although I didn't want to do it, I just did it to get it over and done with. And then I was like, okay, see ya. And he wouldn't leave until I like agreed to commit to him. It was weird. And I was just like, get out of my house.
00:07:34
Speaker 2: At any stage did you say, hang on, I don't like this. This is not for me.
00:07:38
Speaker 1: No, no, no.
00:07:39
Speaker 2: You need to go.
00:07:40
Speaker 1: My language was initially I was not going to say yes to things. This is going to get me into more hot water. So I was like, no, no. So I won't accept that as an answer. You've got to say yes. I was like, oh, well, you know, I've got it. No, no. And so I was just like, I just need this to be over. Yes. Good. And then it wrapped up and I was just like, what the fuck? I can't believe he got a new SIM card. Anyway, so he messages me again. And I'm like, I need to shut this down. I actually stopped doing it completely after that.
00:08:09
Speaker 2: Wow.
00:08:10
Speaker 1: So I think he may have died, hopefully. He was that old. I've rejoined and he hasn't messaged. But he was like, when are you back? I was generally going to Sydney. I think we were, I think we may have been doing something for a period of time or was going away. And I was like, oh, I'll be back, you know. And then I gave up. I lied and I said I was going to Sydney for six months. And then sure enough, six months later, he's like, oh, you said you'd be home exactly at this time. He messaged me exactly on the day I said I'd be home. Fake be home.
00:08:35
Speaker 2: That's scary shit.
00:08:36
Speaker 1: And so I said, oh, my God, I'm actually not home. I found a life partner and I got engaged and married and I'm now living in Sydney. So I just pretended to be married. And he was like, oh, that's really disappointing. Let me know if you're ever back. And the only reason why I'll be able to know if he texts me again is because, and I can't believe I didn't pick up on this, He's so old he doesn't know how to use the space bar, so he used a full stop as a space. And he's the only one that I've ever seen do that. And those two messages.
00:09:01
Speaker 2: Oh, well, there you go. You'll know next time. Well, that's very scary. This was only recently.
00:09:06
Speaker 1: This was 18 months ago. Wow.
00:09:10
Speaker 2: Well, that is scary.
00:09:12
Speaker 1: Yeah. Did you put the card away again? Oh, my God. Please read that. You okay? It looks like you've got a notification on your phone. Are you pretending that you've got a notification to get out of this segment?
00:09:24
Speaker 2: Have I ever seduced someone?
00:09:26
Speaker 1: Well, yes. Or did Rick seduce you?
00:09:29
Speaker 2: Did Rick seduce me? Did I seduce him? I think it was a mutual thing, actually.
00:09:35
Speaker 1: You seduced each other.
00:09:38
Speaker 2: We met at Hill Street, which is a nightclub in Sydney, right?
00:09:42
Speaker 1: Oh, no, I can imagine.
00:09:42
Speaker 2: And this is a really funny story because he and I were on the edges of the dance floor and in the middle of the dance floor was this guy in a safari suit.
00:09:52
Speaker 1: Bob Down.
00:09:53
Speaker 2: No, we love Bob Down. If you've ever watched Seinfeld, you'll know there's a guy that used to wear it. So he and I were looking at each other laughing because we were connecting of what was going on. Yeah, Ricardo fell pretty hard, poor bugger. He didn't have a chance. I was in my prime then. I was in my absolute prime. I looked great. But I let him hang for about a week before I called him. And to this day, he will swear black and blue, but he didn't kiss me for six weeks. Six weeks.
00:10:23
Speaker 1: That's a long time.
00:10:24
Speaker 2: I agree with you. He will say I'm lying.
00:10:26
Speaker 1: Abstinent for six weeks?
00:10:28
Speaker 2: No, that did not happen, but six weeks.
00:10:30
Speaker 1: Well, what's his recollection? He's like, oh, it was at least a year.
00:10:33
Speaker 2: No, he reckons it was a lot sooner than that. And I said, well, I don't believe it was.
00:10:38
Speaker 1: Do you know what that is? What? He was playing multiple people at the same time.
00:10:42
Speaker 2: Probably. Probably was. But no, we, yeah, that was our little love story.
00:10:47
Speaker 1: Our little seduction of each other.
00:10:50
Speaker 2: Boring, he's saying.
00:10:51
Speaker 1: No, no, I just think it's sweet.
00:10:53
Speaker 2: It doesn't quite get up to your standards of your 86-year-old.
00:10:57
Speaker 1: My seduction is sending nudes to someone. It's a seduction. I mean, it works 15% of the time. 15% of the time it works every time.
00:11:07
Speaker 2: Are you a taxidermist? Because I'd pay to stuff my beaver. Because I'd pay you to stuff my beaver.
00:11:14
Speaker 1: Wow, your delivery is so on point. Oh, dear me.
