00:00:05
Speaker 1: A Poche Production.
00:00:11
Speaker 2: Welcome to a bonus episode of We Will Always Have. It's just a little tidbit to tide you over where Chrissy and I talk shit. All right, this question is under the theme of regret and expectation. What kind of person do you hope your future self won't become?
00:00:37
Speaker 1: I don't want to become bitter. I don't want to become one of those women.
00:00:43
Speaker 2: Too late for that.
00:00:45
Speaker 1: I don't want to become one of those women that just absolutely sit there and analyse everything and fester.
00:00:52
Speaker 2: Do you do that? Are you reactive or an observer?
00:00:54
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm very reactive. But the thing is, my mum got a lover. At the very end of her life, she got very bitter.
00:01:01
Speaker 2: Isn't that just your brain?
00:01:02
Speaker 1: You don't have control over that? Yeah, no, she was sick. And it just, you know, that whole... She changed quite considerably.
00:01:09
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't want to become that. No. I don't want to become a recluse. That was another thing that freaked me out over this course of this Bali trip, was going... The only time I leave the house is to do these. I take myself away, but I go away alone.
00:01:26
Speaker 1: But I think you go away alone to escape the pressures that you have.
00:01:29
Speaker 2: I absolutely do, yes.
00:01:31
Speaker 1: And so for you to go away alleviates that pressure and you're then living your best life.
00:01:36
Speaker 2: But then it's what fucking pressure do I have?
00:01:40
Speaker 1: Well, at the moment you've got a room full of parcels. That's nothing, though.
00:01:44
Speaker 2: That's the most ridiculous. The whole of.
00:01:45
Speaker 1: Australia and the United States have sent you.
00:01:48
Speaker 2: That's literally saying people have sent you their treasured belongings.
00:01:51
Speaker 1: Isn't that fabulous?
00:01:52
Speaker 2: And it's caused me to have a mental breakdown.
00:01:55
Speaker 1: But I think sometimes you put that pressure on yourself.
00:01:58
Speaker 2: Yes, I do. It took on a life of its own and everyone got really excited really quickly and then all the eyeballs were on me and I was doing ABC, Fox News. BBC, I was doing all of this stuff and I was like, I don't know where this is going. I also don't know how to do this because I've got so many to open. I, in my brain, can't physically move on to the next phase of this museum. If you're unaware, I started this thing called the Mini Museum and I collect minis and I put them in little trinket trays and I ask people to send me them, not thinking anyone would really send me them and it turns out everyone was really lovely and did. And so now this has taken on such a crazy... Life of itself. Life of its own. And I don't know how to keep it going. And then there's that fear that I'm going to disappoint people if, one, I don't take it on the road. I think the coffee table will alleviate a lot of that pressure. Like, I've been on stage before. I've had all the eyeballs on me. But it feels so different.
00:02:57
Speaker 1: You know why, though? It feels different because you've got other people's expectations now on you.
00:03:03
Speaker 2: I guess so.
00:03:03
Speaker 1: They're expecting you to open a parcel.
00:03:05
Speaker 2: God love them.
00:03:07
Speaker 1: But the thing is also you're doing so much contact around the parcels that you're not being creative in other areas of your life.
00:03:15
Speaker 2: Well, I think I try to keep all those other facets going.
00:03:19
Speaker 1: How can you when you've got a room full of parcels up to the ceiling?
00:03:23
Speaker 2: Well, the problem I also have is that I'm a collector. My apartment was already full, filled with stuff.
00:03:29
Speaker 1: I know it was.
00:03:29
Speaker 2: And it's like I've got no room for any of this.
00:03:31
Speaker 1: You haven't. Seriously.
00:03:33
Speaker 2: Seriously.
00:03:34
Speaker 1: Seriously.
00:03:34
Speaker 2: Seriously.
00:03:35
Speaker 1: You don't have any room. You'll be going onto the ceiling.
00:03:40
Speaker 2: I actually thought about that, but I've got fans and shit, so thankfully.
00:03:44
Speaker 1: Sticking things up there. So what is your plan when you get back? What's your first thing that.
00:03:48
Speaker 2: You're going to do? Don't have one. I literally do not have a plan.
00:03:50
Speaker 1: You don't have a plan?
00:03:51
Speaker 2: No.
00:03:51
Speaker 1: That surprises me. I would have thought you would have been so focused. So did I.
00:03:55
Speaker 2: I'm all about thoughts and feelings.
00:03:57
Speaker 1: And then being like razor sharp with what you were going to do.
00:04:01
Speaker 2: Well, I think. My plan at this point is... Oh.
00:04:06
Speaker 1: What was that?
00:04:07
Speaker 2: Shh. Don't react. How can you not react to that? I'm so embarrassed.
00:04:12
Speaker 1: That was a sneeze. Yeah.
00:04:14
Speaker 2: Can I tell you, when I used to work at Howard Storage World, we had what was called like the kitchen walls. All the little kitchen gadgets would go on this wall. So Howard Storage World is a homeware shop and we used to have like, you know, Julianne peelers, all those types of gadgets.
00:04:30
Speaker 1: Mm.
00:04:31
Speaker 2: And up the very, very, very top of the wall was all the buckets where the stock lived. So I was at the top of a ladder and I was like bringing some stock down. And this woman was looking at this wall and she did this sneeze. And it was like, eek you. And I couldn't see any stuff because I had the advantage of being on the ladder. I could see everyone. And I was like, that's the funniest sneeze I've ever heard. And you know how I laugh. It's zero to 100. And so I was like, well done. No one else saw it. I'm not being triggered. And as I turned my head to look back to reach for the stock, I saw Liz at the counter. And she was like killed over trying not to laugh. And it was like a switch had flicked. And immediately I let out the loudest laugh. Probably so loud I farted at the same time. And I couldn't control myself. Now, this was seconds of her going, yee-haw. And it was like so she knew I was laughing at her sneeze. I couldn't stop myself. I was laughing. I put the box back and I quickly got down the ladder whilst crying and scream laughing across the entire store. I go out the back and I go right down the back of the storage room and I'm there just uncontrollably laughing.
00:05:52
Speaker 1: Isn't that the best feeling? It's the best.
00:05:54
Speaker 2: So much so that my boss at the time, Deborah, who owned the store, she didn't really know what was going on. She comes out. She's like, Christian, you're so loud. We can hear you out there. But because I was laughing so loud, it set her off. And she didn't know why she was laughing. And I'm trying to tell her what had gone on. So she's crying laughing. Her mascara's all running. And she was like, we're so busy. Like, we need you to come out. So she couldn't stop laughing. Liz was at the counter, couldn't stop laughing. I was at the back. I was just, like, billowing. And Deborah was like, you need to go out to the very back, back storeroom. So it was through the fire escape and around to the other side because she's like, it's so loud. And anyway, she, I think, tried to compose herself to go back out and serve this poor woman. And I just couldn't stop laughing. And it's one of my favourite memories from working in retail.
00:06:39
Speaker 1: Did she know that she had sneezed and it had caused such a reaction?
00:06:42
Speaker 2: I think she got that from Liz when she went back out to talk to Liz. But I was gone for another like five or six minutes. And then when I came out, I would just look at Debra and I'd be gone. And I just, like, we had such fun. That was such a fun. I actually miss the retail element for the team. Anyways, this really went on for a really long period of time. What was your first job?
00:07:07
Speaker 1: Oh, I had a few. My very first job here in Australia, I was a nanny.
00:07:13
Speaker 2: Top away?
00:07:13
Speaker 1: No, I was a nanny. So I flew into Brisbane to... And then went to Goondiwindi as a nanny for a little while.
00:07:19
Speaker 2: Right.
00:07:19
Speaker 1: And then came back. And then I was a dental nurse. Oh. I was a dental nurse in Sydney when the Newcastle earthquake.
00:07:28
Speaker 2: Oh, shit.
00:07:29
Speaker 1: Yep. I was standing there with a person's mouth wide open.
00:07:32
Speaker 2: Did you get the shakes?
00:07:34
Speaker 1: Oh, we felt it.
00:07:34
Speaker 2: In Sydney?
00:07:35
Speaker 1: In Burwood, yeah.
00:07:36
Speaker 2: Really?
00:07:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then I've done lots of jobs.
00:07:41
Speaker 2: What was your favourite?
00:07:42
Speaker 1: My favourite job would probably be the one that I've got now.
00:07:46
Speaker 2: Retire. Yeah. Yeah.
00:07:48
Speaker 1: Retirement.
00:07:48
Speaker 2: Retirement. Yeah. Retirement. Is that the one that you're about to leave?
00:07:52
Speaker 1: The staff that we have, the people that I work with.
00:07:55
Speaker 2: You do talk about them very fondly.
00:07:58
Speaker 1: They are just so important to me. They make me laugh. They pick me up. They, you know, we are a great team.
00:08:04
Speaker 2: So much so you can't wait to cut them loose.
00:08:07
Speaker 1: Can't wait to say bye.
00:08:13
Speaker 2: What do you call two lesbians in a closet? Oh, here we go. Oh, this one's bad, but funny. What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
00:08:23
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm shaking my head in disbelief that we're playing this. Oh, God, that is so bad.
00:08:29
Speaker 2: I'm going to save that one for my best friends of all time. You go.
00:08:36
Speaker 1: Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll? I don't know because Ken came in another box.
Speaker 1: A Poche Production.
00:00:11
Speaker 2: Welcome to a bonus episode of We Will Always Have. It's just a little tidbit to tide you over where Chrissy and I talk shit. All right, this question is under the theme of regret and expectation. What kind of person do you hope your future self won't become?
00:00:37
Speaker 1: I don't want to become bitter. I don't want to become one of those women.
00:00:43
Speaker 2: Too late for that.
00:00:45
Speaker 1: I don't want to become one of those women that just absolutely sit there and analyse everything and fester.
00:00:52
Speaker 2: Do you do that? Are you reactive or an observer?
00:00:54
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm very reactive. But the thing is, my mum got a lover. At the very end of her life, she got very bitter.
00:01:01
Speaker 2: Isn't that just your brain?
00:01:02
Speaker 1: You don't have control over that? Yeah, no, she was sick. And it just, you know, that whole... She changed quite considerably.
00:01:09
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't want to become that. No. I don't want to become a recluse. That was another thing that freaked me out over this course of this Bali trip, was going... The only time I leave the house is to do these. I take myself away, but I go away alone.
00:01:26
Speaker 1: But I think you go away alone to escape the pressures that you have.
00:01:29
Speaker 2: I absolutely do, yes.
00:01:31
Speaker 1: And so for you to go away alleviates that pressure and you're then living your best life.
00:01:36
Speaker 2: But then it's what fucking pressure do I have?
00:01:40
Speaker 1: Well, at the moment you've got a room full of parcels. That's nothing, though.
00:01:44
Speaker 2: That's the most ridiculous. The whole of.
00:01:45
Speaker 1: Australia and the United States have sent you.
00:01:48
Speaker 2: That's literally saying people have sent you their treasured belongings.
00:01:51
Speaker 1: Isn't that fabulous?
00:01:52
Speaker 2: And it's caused me to have a mental breakdown.
00:01:55
Speaker 1: But I think sometimes you put that pressure on yourself.
00:01:58
Speaker 2: Yes, I do. It took on a life of its own and everyone got really excited really quickly and then all the eyeballs were on me and I was doing ABC, Fox News. BBC, I was doing all of this stuff and I was like, I don't know where this is going. I also don't know how to do this because I've got so many to open. I, in my brain, can't physically move on to the next phase of this museum. If you're unaware, I started this thing called the Mini Museum and I collect minis and I put them in little trinket trays and I ask people to send me them, not thinking anyone would really send me them and it turns out everyone was really lovely and did. And so now this has taken on such a crazy... Life of itself. Life of its own. And I don't know how to keep it going. And then there's that fear that I'm going to disappoint people if, one, I don't take it on the road. I think the coffee table will alleviate a lot of that pressure. Like, I've been on stage before. I've had all the eyeballs on me. But it feels so different.
00:02:57
Speaker 1: You know why, though? It feels different because you've got other people's expectations now on you.
00:03:03
Speaker 2: I guess so.
00:03:03
Speaker 1: They're expecting you to open a parcel.
00:03:05
Speaker 2: God love them.
00:03:07
Speaker 1: But the thing is also you're doing so much contact around the parcels that you're not being creative in other areas of your life.
00:03:15
Speaker 2: Well, I think I try to keep all those other facets going.
00:03:19
Speaker 1: How can you when you've got a room full of parcels up to the ceiling?
00:03:23
Speaker 2: Well, the problem I also have is that I'm a collector. My apartment was already full, filled with stuff.
00:03:29
Speaker 1: I know it was.
00:03:29
Speaker 2: And it's like I've got no room for any of this.
00:03:31
Speaker 1: You haven't. Seriously.
00:03:33
Speaker 2: Seriously.
00:03:34
Speaker 1: Seriously.
00:03:34
Speaker 2: Seriously.
00:03:35
Speaker 1: You don't have any room. You'll be going onto the ceiling.
00:03:40
Speaker 2: I actually thought about that, but I've got fans and shit, so thankfully.
00:03:44
Speaker 1: Sticking things up there. So what is your plan when you get back? What's your first thing that.
00:03:48
Speaker 2: You're going to do? Don't have one. I literally do not have a plan.
00:03:50
Speaker 1: You don't have a plan?
00:03:51
Speaker 2: No.
00:03:51
Speaker 1: That surprises me. I would have thought you would have been so focused. So did I.
00:03:55
Speaker 2: I'm all about thoughts and feelings.
00:03:57
Speaker 1: And then being like razor sharp with what you were going to do.
00:04:01
Speaker 2: Well, I think. My plan at this point is... Oh.
00:04:06
Speaker 1: What was that?
00:04:07
Speaker 2: Shh. Don't react. How can you not react to that? I'm so embarrassed.
00:04:12
Speaker 1: That was a sneeze. Yeah.
00:04:14
Speaker 2: Can I tell you, when I used to work at Howard Storage World, we had what was called like the kitchen walls. All the little kitchen gadgets would go on this wall. So Howard Storage World is a homeware shop and we used to have like, you know, Julianne peelers, all those types of gadgets.
00:04:30
Speaker 1: Mm.
00:04:31
Speaker 2: And up the very, very, very top of the wall was all the buckets where the stock lived. So I was at the top of a ladder and I was like bringing some stock down. And this woman was looking at this wall and she did this sneeze. And it was like, eek you. And I couldn't see any stuff because I had the advantage of being on the ladder. I could see everyone. And I was like, that's the funniest sneeze I've ever heard. And you know how I laugh. It's zero to 100. And so I was like, well done. No one else saw it. I'm not being triggered. And as I turned my head to look back to reach for the stock, I saw Liz at the counter. And she was like killed over trying not to laugh. And it was like a switch had flicked. And immediately I let out the loudest laugh. Probably so loud I farted at the same time. And I couldn't control myself. Now, this was seconds of her going, yee-haw. And it was like so she knew I was laughing at her sneeze. I couldn't stop myself. I was laughing. I put the box back and I quickly got down the ladder whilst crying and scream laughing across the entire store. I go out the back and I go right down the back of the storage room and I'm there just uncontrollably laughing.
00:05:52
Speaker 1: Isn't that the best feeling? It's the best.
00:05:54
Speaker 2: So much so that my boss at the time, Deborah, who owned the store, she didn't really know what was going on. She comes out. She's like, Christian, you're so loud. We can hear you out there. But because I was laughing so loud, it set her off. And she didn't know why she was laughing. And I'm trying to tell her what had gone on. So she's crying laughing. Her mascara's all running. And she was like, we're so busy. Like, we need you to come out. So she couldn't stop laughing. Liz was at the counter, couldn't stop laughing. I was at the back. I was just, like, billowing. And Deborah was like, you need to go out to the very back, back storeroom. So it was through the fire escape and around to the other side because she's like, it's so loud. And anyway, she, I think, tried to compose herself to go back out and serve this poor woman. And I just couldn't stop laughing. And it's one of my favourite memories from working in retail.
00:06:39
Speaker 1: Did she know that she had sneezed and it had caused such a reaction?
00:06:42
Speaker 2: I think she got that from Liz when she went back out to talk to Liz. But I was gone for another like five or six minutes. And then when I came out, I would just look at Debra and I'd be gone. And I just, like, we had such fun. That was such a fun. I actually miss the retail element for the team. Anyways, this really went on for a really long period of time. What was your first job?
00:07:07
Speaker 1: Oh, I had a few. My very first job here in Australia, I was a nanny.
00:07:13
Speaker 2: Top away?
00:07:13
Speaker 1: No, I was a nanny. So I flew into Brisbane to... And then went to Goondiwindi as a nanny for a little while.
00:07:19
Speaker 2: Right.
00:07:19
Speaker 1: And then came back. And then I was a dental nurse. Oh. I was a dental nurse in Sydney when the Newcastle earthquake.
00:07:28
Speaker 2: Oh, shit.
00:07:29
Speaker 1: Yep. I was standing there with a person's mouth wide open.
00:07:32
Speaker 2: Did you get the shakes?
00:07:34
Speaker 1: Oh, we felt it.
00:07:34
Speaker 2: In Sydney?
00:07:35
Speaker 1: In Burwood, yeah.
00:07:36
Speaker 2: Really?
00:07:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then I've done lots of jobs.
00:07:41
Speaker 2: What was your favourite?
00:07:42
Speaker 1: My favourite job would probably be the one that I've got now.
00:07:46
Speaker 2: Retire. Yeah. Yeah.
00:07:48
Speaker 1: Retirement.
00:07:48
Speaker 2: Retirement. Yeah. Retirement. Is that the one that you're about to leave?
00:07:52
Speaker 1: The staff that we have, the people that I work with.
00:07:55
Speaker 2: You do talk about them very fondly.
00:07:58
Speaker 1: They are just so important to me. They make me laugh. They pick me up. They, you know, we are a great team.
00:08:04
Speaker 2: So much so you can't wait to cut them loose.
00:08:07
Speaker 1: Can't wait to say bye.
00:08:13
Speaker 2: What do you call two lesbians in a closet? Oh, here we go. Oh, this one's bad, but funny. What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
00:08:23
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm shaking my head in disbelief that we're playing this. Oh, God, that is so bad.
00:08:29
Speaker 2: I'm going to save that one for my best friends of all time. You go.
00:08:36
Speaker 1: Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll? I don't know because Ken came in another box.
