The WAIT Framework: Where Am I in This?

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Why did I do what I just did?
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Where was I in that?
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What was I thinking?
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What was I feeling?
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What was I experiencing?
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What was I believing?
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And that is the cornerstone of wait.
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Where am I in this?
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Hi, I'm Dr.
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Lee Long, and I'm here with my co-host Lila Pond, and this is Wait.
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Let's talk about that.
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Well, it's so great to be here.
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It seems as though the question of how do I get unstuck?
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How do I stop feeling invisible in my relationships?
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How do I find some clarity in my life about me?
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I just compromise so much all the time.
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So I'm excited to hear you present some simple practical tools to change that pattern.
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We're all looking for some hope and a roadmap that's going to help us get to where we really want to be.
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Mm-hmm.
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Before we get into today's subject, I want our listeners to pause and I want you to ask yourself, where am I in this?
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This is the question we're going to continue to ask ourselves all season of this podcast.
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I even wrote a book called Wait, where am I in this?
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And I want it to become something you routinely ask yourself in every situation that you're navigating.
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When your emotions are heavy or you're having a lot of feelings about another person or maybe a situation you're facing, this question is going to change the way you handle those situations.
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I truly believe it's going to cause a positive shift in your relationship.
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I mean, I've seen it in my office.
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I've seen it with the people that I work with.
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It's about locating yourself instead of looking outward or relying on other people to change.
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I want you to take a minute and find yourself on the map today.
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Think about how you're feeling, what you're thinking, what you might be experiencing, what you might be believing, what you're needing to become aware of you.
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Oh, I think that's great.
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I hope everybody will truly pause and do just that right now.
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All right.
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What do you say?
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Should we get into it?
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Yes.
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You know, starting out thinking like, have you ever lost yourself in a relationship?
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Have you ever found yourself staying quiet even when something really matters?
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Do you feel like you really know where you are in relationships at times?
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And do you find yourself guided by the other person's mood, behaviors, decisions, opinions, judgments, etc.?
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Yeah, isn't that interesting that it can take us so off course?
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Yes.
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We lose who we are.
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So true.
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And that's where the acronym wait.
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Ah.
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Where am I in this?
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Now, it's a it's both an acronym.
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Okay.
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Where am I in this?
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But it's also intended to be a pause.
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Oh, that's great.
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We all look for a pause button, don't we?
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Yes, a pause button for sure.
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Because if we can just create some distance between what happened and our response, it gives us such a greater opportunity to respond in a way that is really powerful.
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Because our tendency without that pause, our tendency is to lose ourselves.
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Right.
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We don't ask the right questions, dare I say.
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Because what do we tend to do?
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We tend to get very emotional and we start making statements, assumptions, and all of a sudden we've even forgotten where we're going, much less how we're going to get there.
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Right.
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And the interesting thing is that these assumptions, these statements, are typically not about where we are.
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So true.
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They're typically about where everybody else is.
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So you mean I'm abandoning myself and getting into somebody else's head, so to speak?
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Yes.
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Okay.
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It's the dreaded mind reading.
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It's the thinking that we have control over things that we really don't have control over.
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And it is an externalization, meaning I'm trying to get how many times do you hear in your office, if they would just Oh, it's minute by minute.
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Right.
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And the sad thing is, is that if they would just, we have no power over that.
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Well, we just why we need a map.
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That's right.
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And speaking of maps, I was with my wife and kids at the mall.
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Okay.
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And we got separated.
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And this was during the Christmas season, the holiday season, so it was crowded.
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Did they have the credit card?
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They did.
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They did.
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Indeed.
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So I called my wife and I said, Hey, where are you guys?
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And she said, she right?
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She said, Hey, well, we are at such and such store.
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And I said, I don't have any idea where that is.
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Oh, that's a bad feeling.
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Uh-huh.
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Her next question back to me is, Where are you?
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And I said, Oh, I'm by this store.
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And I had to look around and orient myself in that mall to discover where I was.
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Because where she was meant nothing to me if I don't know where I am, because then I don't know how to make my way to them.
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Great point.
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Oh, well, what do you what do you do though if you can't get to her?
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You know what I'm saying?
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Like if you hadn't looked at a map, what would you have done?
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A lot of times I think what we do is we tend to just walk around aimlessly.
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Uh, and we get upset with the other person that we can't find them.
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Why can't you be found?
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Exactly.
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But in reality, it really needs to come back to where am I?
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Oh man, that's a good point.
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I often think about when we're like on a trail or we're in the mall, we're using the heck out of this mall thing here.
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Yeah.
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Right.
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But everybody's gonna go shopping after this.
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Do are malls even a thing anymore?
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Maybe a few of them.
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Yeah.
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So when you lost your wife and your kids, they were in a place where you didn't know where they were and you couldn't in even envision where they were, then how were you going to get to them if all you were doing is trying to change their location, right?
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They're not gonna change.
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Right.
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But you have to.
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Well, yeah, it comes to a place where we rather than demanding that they come to me, okay.
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I had to look around and I had to decide, first of all, I had to note where am I?
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I'm at this part of them all.
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And I said to my wife, uh, you know, where are you guys?
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Right.
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And and it's making our way.
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I don't know where that is.
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And she said, Well, what about can you find this point?
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Well, here's the thing.
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How does that relate to our relationships and how we navigate those?
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I mean, you can't fix another person.
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Right.
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Right?
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I think all too often we look at people and we say, I need you to be different.
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I need you to change.
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If you will change, then I.
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I can't tell you how many times I've had someone sit in my office, sit down with their partner, and say, if you could change him or if you could change her, if they would just stop doing this, then I could.
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And you think about the loss of power, the loss of autonomy, the loss of all the good things in the relationship.
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Right.
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Because it's solely focused on the other person.
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Well, and even when when we over-identify with feeling as though I'm responsible for your behavior.
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Right.
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So we've now put on the other person, hey, if you change, then I'll be better.
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We put a responsibility on somebody that they can't do.
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So wait sounds like a great idea to me.
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So, what do you do when somebody will not change their behavior and you're working on you?
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You know, with the concept of weight, where am I in this, in this moment?
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What do I think?
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What do I feel?
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What do I believe?
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And what am I experiencing?
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I think that how when we begin to ask these questions, it truly orients us on the map of our life so that we have a better shot of showing up ourselves and having the kind of power and influence in life, in in moments that is truly ours.
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Oh, that is so helpful.
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What do I think?
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What do I feel?
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What do I believe?
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And what do I experience?
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So, in other words, they're all connected.
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And that sounds like that's your, I guess you'd call that like the framework of a house that you're building.
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Yes.
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Right?
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Yeah.
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And that's what weight will help all of us with.
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It will.
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And speaking of a framework of a house, okay.
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I often say to people who sit in my office, what happens to an abandoned building?
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Oh.
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It's filled with rodents, insects, spiders, broken things.
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I don't know.
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I'd rather talk about broken bottles.
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Well, and snakes.
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Ooh.
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Right?
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It's filled with all these things that they're not things that we want to.
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Well, I mean, some people want them, but yeah, I don't necessarily want them.
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They are things that in a building you really can't use and actually take away from the beauty and the usefulness of the building.
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That's right.
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Right?
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Yeah, and it begins to wear down quickly.
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Oh, that's a good point.
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Because what happens is that we often find ourselves living life in other people's front yards, meaning we're trying to change their building.
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We're trying to change their home, and we abandon ours.
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So when we get back, what happens?
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And I find all these things, how would that relate to my internal experience of me?
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I think it it's a it's a cleanup job.
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What am I cleaning up?
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All the things that I've left undone, all the ways that I've focused on everybody else, but missed me.
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I had somebody in my office just a few weeks ago who has lived their life externalizing, trying to change everything else, everybody else.
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If my kids would be better, if my wife would be better, if my boss would be better, if the barista would have just done it differently.
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They finally came back to themselves.
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And Lila, they talked for almost an hour nonstop about all the things that they were having to grieve.
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Oh, that just gives me chills to think that they'd been missing that and yet it was still there, active inside of them.
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Yes.
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And those are all those insects and those rodents and the tearing down of their building because they had lost sight of themselves in the midst of everything going on.
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So if after they started seeing themselves and they came back for subsequent sessions and kind of thinking through the framework of what am I thinking, what am I feeling, what am I believing, what am I experiencing, and pushing that pause button to wait, where am I in this?
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Were they able to show up more authentically, even if it was sometimes a little uncomfortable or unpleasant?
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Yes.
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And sometimes it was just downright painful.
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Ooh.
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Because experiencing what they experienced, they had to experience the disappointment with their kids.
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They had to experience the disappointment with their wife.
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That is a great point, Lee.
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Say more about that.
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You know, when things go in a way that we don't want them to go, there is a sense of grief that we have to walk through.
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Why do we think pain is something we can escape or grief is something we can escape in life, right?
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Yeah, I that's a great question.
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And I think it's something that we don't want to experience negativity.
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We don't want to experience the pain.
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We don't know that that truly suffering has its place.
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Yes.
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And we don't I don't know that I think we've bought the idea that joy needs to come without suffering.
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Yes.
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And do you, I know in my sessions a lot with my clients, I hear the term, I just want them to be happy.
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I just want my kids to be happy.
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I just want my sister to be happy.
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I I just want to be happy.
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We hear that term a lot.
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How would you relate what you're talking about right now with suffering and that statement and how weight would help with that?
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I think that it's that we want them to be happy, but we don't have control over that.
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Awesome.
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We want people to experience certain things, but we don't have control over that.
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But what we tend to do is try to take control.
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We try to give them what we believe is going to make them happy.
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Oh.
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And what ends up happening is we end up in a place that's not ours to be.
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So we're not wanted there.
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Isn't that amazing how that relates to not even knowing where I am on the map?
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Right.
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And then I try to pull somebody else to somewhere I think they want to be, I'm not letting them find themselves on the map.
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That's exactly right.
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Okay.
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That's exactly right.
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I think that this all boils down to, and I'm going to use some some technical jargon here, but it boils down to an intra-personal awareness, which that's just a fancy word for saying self-awareness.
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Yeah.
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It's understanding self.
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That if we don't bring a healthy understanding me to we, meaning the interpersonal, which is that is the between us.
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Right.
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If we don't experience that, if we don't bring a healthy whole self to a relationship, then we can be a little bit of a bull in a china shop.
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That's so true.
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And be totally off.
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It's kind of like a um, I like to use this example quite often.
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And if it's okay, I'd love to interject it here when we're talking about we.
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And it I just had a funny corny dad moment in my head where the word we is actually in between.
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W-E is in the word between.
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W-E.
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Right.
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Yeah.
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And so between us, if when I was younger, my grandmother took a seed packet of mixed seeds, just random, you know, wildflower mixed seeds, threw it on the table, and she said, Okay, Lila, tell me who what seed is what plant.
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Well, I was totally bamboozled.
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I had no idea.
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Okay, I can get a sunflower seed, I understand that, or a watermelon seed.
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And and I just said, gosh, I I don't know.
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I'm gonna have to learn.
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She said, Well, let me ask you this.
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If you picked out one of those seeds and thought, oh, I want this to be a sunflower, and you put it in the ground and you watered it and you you fertilized it and you did everything to make it a sunflower, and it comes out as a watermelon vine, and you get mad at the plant because it's not what you wanted it to be instead of discovering what it actually was inside of it.
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I don't know.
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Are you are you picking up what I'm putting down?
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Picking it up.
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I'm picking it up.
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Right?
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All too often we want people to be a sunflower when they're really a watermelon.
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Yes, yeah.
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So it's that external focus that I have this illusion of control.
00:16:35.120 --> 00:16:35.600
That's right.
00:16:35.840 --> 00:16:38.960
And then I start mind reading, right?
00:16:40.000 --> 00:16:43.200
And then I'm in this pattern loop, right?
00:16:43.600 --> 00:16:44.639
Okay, totally.
00:16:45.039 --> 00:16:47.759
So that's gonna mess up the we big time.
00:16:48.080 --> 00:16:55.360
It does because we can't, we don't allow people to to show up who they are because we aren't showing up who we are.
00:16:55.679 --> 00:16:57.120
Oh, so true.
00:16:57.440 --> 00:17:03.039
I I think that this whole system, the wait, where am I in this?
00:17:03.440 --> 00:17:19.119
Our hope for this is that people could learn who they truly are, what they truly bring to the table, and how they are designed to move through life.
00:17:20.160 --> 00:17:35.039
So that there is a level of authenticity that I can allow, if I understand who I am and how I move through the world, then I can begin to understand how you who you are and how you move through the world.
00:17:35.200 --> 00:17:44.160
And I am not, the hope is that we do not try to force each other, being a watermelon, to become a sunflower.
00:17:44.400 --> 00:17:44.640
Right.
00:17:44.799 --> 00:17:45.680
It's not possible.
00:17:45.839 --> 00:17:49.680
It's just not it and it creates a lot of strife and a lot of pain.
00:17:49.759 --> 00:17:55.519
And our hope is is that people can really discover who they are, right?
00:17:55.680 --> 00:18:02.960
Who we are, so that we can offer who we are to this world, so that we can embrace each other even in all of our differences.
00:18:03.279 --> 00:18:19.759
Lee, what I'm hearing you say in that too is that we leave space for another person to be themselves without us judging that, because we've now occupied the space of me, so I can leave space for you to be you.
00:18:20.720 --> 00:18:25.599
That may sound like a lot of the word space, but I I do think that's important.
00:18:26.160 --> 00:18:36.640
If I'm trying to make everybody be exactly what I think they should be, or there's that word should or ought to be, right?
00:18:36.799 --> 00:18:40.000
But I just wait, just know me.
00:18:40.480 --> 00:18:57.599
That leaves a lot of security and safety within so that I don't have to enter a difficult situation or a difficult person, I don't have to be in the presence of a difficult person with a lot of angst and fear, right?
00:18:58.319 --> 00:19:06.240
Yeah, it's so interesting talking to people that do find themselves being lost in those types of situations.
00:19:06.480 --> 00:19:18.559
And I think when we feel pressured to be something or someone for someone else, yes, I think we look at that as a dashboard light.
00:19:18.720 --> 00:19:21.839
And we say to ourselves, I'm feeling this pressure.
00:19:22.000 --> 00:19:28.960
I feel like I'm being asked to be pulled outside of myself, to be something I don't believe I am or want to be.
00:19:29.200 --> 00:19:37.279
That dashboard light reminds us, come back to me, ask the question wait, where am I in this moment?
00:19:37.680 --> 00:19:37.839
Right.
00:19:38.000 --> 00:19:39.039
What am I thinking?
00:19:39.839 --> 00:19:47.920
I had somebody recently say to me, I have this really good friend and she constantly has a lot of opinions.
00:19:48.799 --> 00:19:52.319
And she tries to pull me into these opinions.
00:19:52.559 --> 00:19:52.799
Right.
00:19:53.200 --> 00:19:54.400
And I don't share them.
00:19:54.720 --> 00:19:55.920
I don't share those opinions.
00:19:56.160 --> 00:19:56.880
What do you do?
00:19:57.519 --> 00:20:01.599
And I asked her, I said, would you ask yourself, where am I in this moment?
00:20:02.000 --> 00:20:03.599
She said, Yeah, I'm disgusted.
00:20:04.480 --> 00:20:05.440
I said, with who?
00:20:06.079 --> 00:20:07.279
She said, with my friend.
00:20:07.839 --> 00:20:10.960
And I said, Is that an external focus or an internal focus?
00:20:11.200 --> 00:20:12.480
She said, It's external.
00:20:12.640 --> 00:20:13.839
I'm focused on them.
00:20:14.079 --> 00:20:17.599
I said, Okay, start there and bring it back in.
00:20:18.000 --> 00:20:20.559
She said, Okay, well, why am I disgusted?
00:20:21.119 --> 00:20:22.720
Because I don't like this.
00:20:22.960 --> 00:20:24.079
Great, stay with that.
00:20:24.240 --> 00:20:25.920
Tell me why you don't like this.
00:20:26.240 --> 00:20:30.880
Because I don't want to participate in running someone down.
00:20:31.359 --> 00:20:35.279
I don't want to participate in talking crap on somebody.
00:20:36.480 --> 00:20:38.319
And I said, Great, tell me why.
00:20:38.480 --> 00:20:42.000
And she said, Because it's not authentically or genuinely who I am.
00:20:42.480 --> 00:20:46.240
It goes against her values, it sounds like that's exactly right.
00:20:46.559 --> 00:20:46.880
Okay.
00:20:47.119 --> 00:20:49.440
And so she said, Well, what do I do now?
00:20:50.079 --> 00:20:55.839
And I said, Well, if you know it goes against your values, you have certain choices.
00:20:56.559 --> 00:21:01.599
You can say, you know, I don't enjoy talking about these kinds of things.
00:21:01.839 --> 00:21:03.039
Could we talk about something else?
00:21:03.680 --> 00:21:04.160
There you go.
00:21:04.319 --> 00:21:07.039
She was like, Well, that kind of feels abrupt and that doesn't fit me.
00:21:07.200 --> 00:21:09.680
And I said, Well, good on you for knowing.
00:21:10.799 --> 00:21:12.799
So, what's another option?
00:21:12.960 --> 00:21:15.279
You can gently change the subject.
00:21:15.839 --> 00:21:18.720
You can get up and leave the conversation.
00:21:19.119 --> 00:21:23.359
You can say, you know, I actually really like so-and-so.
00:21:24.079 --> 00:21:26.480
Or here's something positive about them.
00:21:27.119 --> 00:21:32.640
Or, and this is the one that she chose, hey friend, where are you in that?
00:21:32.880 --> 00:21:33.920
Oh, I love that.
00:21:34.160 --> 00:21:36.640
I said, Wow, that's that's very forward.
00:21:36.799 --> 00:21:40.400
She said, Yeah, but I do want to know because I want to know my friend better.
00:21:40.640 --> 00:21:44.240
So she chose, hey friend, where are you in that?
00:21:44.400 --> 00:21:46.480
Why does that bother you about that?
00:21:46.640 --> 00:21:49.440
Like, I'd like to learn more about you, not them.
00:21:49.759 --> 00:21:51.599
Isn't that brilliant?
00:21:51.759 --> 00:21:53.119
And isn't that kind?
00:21:54.000 --> 00:21:54.960
I think so.
00:21:55.839 --> 00:21:59.759
Because I think it's it's asking her friend rather than talking about.
00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:04.480
All these other people, it's asking her friend to tell me what's the impact on you.
00:22:04.799 --> 00:22:05.279
Right.
00:22:05.519 --> 00:22:15.519
You know, Lee, I can see where perhaps there could be a misinterpretation of where am I in this as though it's self-seeking, self-centered.
00:22:15.599 --> 00:22:36.400
But if you take that phrase, self-centered, and turn it around to center yourself, then you enter, you enter a discussion that's difficult or a conflict in a more adult place where you can be more kind to yourself and to the other person.
00:22:36.559 --> 00:22:36.960
I think so.
00:22:37.279 --> 00:22:40.559
It's a little hard to be kind to other people if you're not being kind to yourself.
00:22:40.960 --> 00:22:41.440
Absolutely.
00:22:42.079 --> 00:22:42.480
Absolutely.
00:22:42.720 --> 00:22:49.279
And so I I think that's where some may ask, well, what do I do when someone won't change their behavior?
00:22:49.440 --> 00:23:01.039
Like in that conversation, when let's just pretend that the friend didn't stop talking about the other person, then there are other options to remain with where you are.
00:23:01.119 --> 00:23:02.559
Is that what I'm hearing you say?
00:23:02.799 --> 00:23:03.200
100%.
00:23:03.599 --> 00:23:03.759
Okay.
00:23:04.000 --> 00:23:04.240
100%.
00:23:04.640 --> 00:23:07.279
Because often the friend won't stop talking about other people.
00:23:07.519 --> 00:23:07.839
Okay.
00:23:08.240 --> 00:23:11.519
Because I'm so glad you brought up the self-indulgent part.
00:23:11.680 --> 00:23:12.240
Right.
00:23:12.559 --> 00:23:27.119
Because I firmly believe that self-indulgence is asking the environment to give me what I want, not seeking what you need internally.
00:23:27.440 --> 00:23:28.480
Oh, that's good.
00:23:28.799 --> 00:23:34.319
And so, yes, self-indulgence is a is something that we want to steer away from.
00:23:34.480 --> 00:23:34.720
Yeah.
00:23:34.880 --> 00:23:37.759
But again, I'm not asking you to indulge me.
00:23:38.240 --> 00:23:47.359
Somebody said, Well, self-indulgence, it's like I my little indulgences is like stop and get, you know, coffee, or I I go do a workout.
00:23:47.440 --> 00:23:49.200
And I'm like, is that an indulgence?
00:23:49.359 --> 00:23:54.559
Or do you mindfully understand that that's genuinely what you need in that moment?
00:23:54.799 --> 00:23:55.039
Yeah.
00:23:55.200 --> 00:24:05.680
I I think that's an important statement is I'm gonna show up as me because I care about, I do care about me, but I also care about the environment.
00:24:05.759 --> 00:24:06.720
I care about other people.
00:24:06.960 --> 00:24:07.440
Exactly.
00:24:07.759 --> 00:24:15.599
And if I am able to live a life where I am me, then I can make space for you to be you.
00:24:15.839 --> 00:24:20.319
I can understand my preferences and that my preferences may not be yours.
00:24:20.480 --> 00:24:24.960
Therefore, we create a true space for us to coexist.
00:24:25.200 --> 00:24:26.559
I love that, Lee.
00:24:26.720 --> 00:24:32.319
Our world, our culture, our country needs that right now more than ever.
00:24:32.559 --> 00:24:32.880
Yes.
00:24:33.039 --> 00:24:38.160
And I think if if if I miss me, then I miss you.
00:24:38.799 --> 00:24:44.960
If I show up rigid, then I'm not open, I'm closed.
00:24:45.039 --> 00:24:47.359
I'm not open to know where you are.
00:24:47.519 --> 00:25:00.640
And and rigidity usually comes out of fear and hiding or shame or wanting to be accepted, but putting up that wall that if you don't, I'm gonna be against you.
00:25:01.200 --> 00:25:09.039
No, that actually works perfectly because I I'm I'm sitting here thinking about in the Christian Bible, there's the story of creation.
00:25:09.359 --> 00:25:17.279
And in creation, you have Adam and Eve who they ate from a tree that they were instructed not to eat from.
00:25:17.359 --> 00:25:20.079
It was the tree of the knowledge of good versus evil.
00:25:20.400 --> 00:25:22.160
I call it the tree of judgment.
00:25:23.119 --> 00:25:32.240
And as soon as they did, God's first question to Adam was, Adam, where are you?
00:25:33.359 --> 00:25:35.920
I don't believe that it was a location question.
00:25:36.000 --> 00:25:40.240
I believe that their GPS tracker was a firmly firmly affixed onto their ankle.
00:25:40.559 --> 00:25:41.519
For sure.
00:25:42.319 --> 00:25:46.640
But uh, I had somebody the other day ask me, like, do you think GPS technology was invented back then?
00:25:46.799 --> 00:25:48.400
I was like, no, I was joking.
00:25:48.720 --> 00:25:49.440
Maybe.
00:25:49.680 --> 00:25:54.400
Um, but it's it wasn't a location question, it's a call to be introspective.
00:25:54.640 --> 00:25:56.640
Why did I do what I just did?
00:25:56.960 --> 00:25:59.519
Oh, that is so powerful.
00:25:59.759 --> 00:26:01.920
Say that again, please.
00:26:02.319 --> 00:26:04.160
Why did I do what I just did?
00:26:04.319 --> 00:26:07.119
It wasn't a location, it wasn't a location question.
00:26:07.279 --> 00:26:09.680
Yes, it was a call to introspect.
00:26:09.839 --> 00:26:11.680
Why did I do what I just did?
00:26:11.920 --> 00:26:13.200
Where was I in that?
00:26:13.279 --> 00:26:14.240
What was I thinking?
00:26:14.400 --> 00:26:15.279
What was I feeling?
00:26:15.440 --> 00:26:16.799
What was I experiencing?
00:26:17.039 --> 00:26:18.400
What was I believing?
00:26:19.200 --> 00:26:27.599
You'll note that in that story, as it goes on, Adam's response was, Well, as they go on, it was you, it was that woman you made.
00:26:28.079 --> 00:26:29.200
He talks to Eve.
00:26:29.279 --> 00:26:31.119
Well, it was that serpent you made.
00:26:31.200 --> 00:26:32.799
It was an externalization.
00:26:32.960 --> 00:26:35.519
Yeah, it was a missing of themselves.
00:26:35.759 --> 00:26:41.359
And that is the cornerstone of wait, where am I in this?
00:26:41.839 --> 00:26:44.400
Sounds like we've been doing that since that moment.
00:26:44.720 --> 00:26:46.880
I think we've been doing that since the beginning of time.
00:26:47.279 --> 00:26:49.759
Avoiding knowing where we are in that moment.
00:26:49.920 --> 00:26:50.319
Right.
00:26:50.480 --> 00:26:55.440
The fear of doing something wrong or being seen as failing at something.
00:26:55.839 --> 00:26:56.240
Yes.
00:26:56.720 --> 00:27:03.680
We fail to speak up in conversations that we need to speak up in because we think, oh, I don't want them to think this of me.
00:27:03.920 --> 00:27:04.400
Right.
00:27:04.720 --> 00:27:16.880
We fail to understand what it is we need, and we go on seemingly in a really martyr sort of sense, saying, Oh, well, they need this.
00:27:17.119 --> 00:27:18.559
I don't need anything.
00:27:18.799 --> 00:27:20.400
We overlook ourselves.
00:27:20.559 --> 00:27:20.720
Right.
00:27:21.119 --> 00:27:25.279
And we don't check in with who we are, with with what we need.
00:27:25.440 --> 00:27:27.680
We don't check in with those things.
00:27:28.160 --> 00:27:30.720
Lee, this is so helpful.
00:27:30.960 --> 00:27:42.240
I am so grateful that you took the time to not just build this framework, but put it in writing so that many, many people have access to it.
00:27:42.480 --> 00:27:44.720
And it it's a difference maker.
00:27:44.960 --> 00:27:47.920
It really is, if we can just learn to practice this.
00:27:48.160 --> 00:27:48.400
Yeah.
00:27:48.559 --> 00:27:48.799
Thanks.
00:27:49.119 --> 00:27:51.279
Because so many of us do feel lost.
00:27:51.680 --> 00:27:52.480
I think we do.
00:27:52.559 --> 00:27:59.119
And I think it's if we can pause and we can ask ourselves, where did we where did I lose me?
00:27:59.359 --> 00:27:59.680
Yes.
00:27:59.920 --> 00:28:05.519
If we can pause and ask ourselves, wait, where am I in this?
00:28:05.920 --> 00:28:07.759
There's so much more to this.
00:28:08.160 --> 00:28:09.839
Thanks for listening to Wait.
00:28:09.920 --> 00:28:10.960
Let's talk about that.
00:28:11.119 --> 00:28:20.559
I hope this episode gave you a moment to pause, reflect, and notice where you might have disappeared in your own life or relationships.
00:28:20.799 --> 00:28:29.200
Remember, Healthy Connection starts with showing up fully as yourself and bringing a me to we.
00:28:29.759 --> 00:28:32.000
That is so important.
00:28:32.480 --> 00:28:42.880
And if you enjoyed today's conversation, please subscribe so you don't miss our future episodes and share this podcast with someone who might benefit from it.
00:28:43.119 --> 00:28:54.400
Until next time, try to remember this week when you're navigating your life and your relationships to take a moment and ask yourself, where am I in this?
00:28:54.880 --> 00:28:56.400
See you next time.