29 | Navigating Life's Unexpected Challenges: A Journey of Resilience and Support with Leanne and Jess Knox

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Welcome to Uplift you, creating strong bodies and mind.
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Get ready to power up your day with practical strength training tools, inspiring stories and build resilience of body and mind.
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It's time to Uplift you, together with your host, leanne Knox.
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Welcome to the next episode of Uplift you, the podcast that helps you build a stronger body and a stronger mind through practical tips, powerful tools and inspiring stories.
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Today's episode is a follow-up from last week's candid conversation with my daughter, Jess, and because she was such a rock star behind the microphone, I have decided today to let her take the lead.
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So, jess, take it away.
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Oh, thanks for having me back, mom.
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I missed you.
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It's been a whole week, right?
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Yeah?
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No, don't get us wrong.
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We talk every single day, which I think is really important to what is actually this episode's about.
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So last week we looked forward with myself, with the stories that I was telling about my life and the trials and embracing change from high school through to young adulthood in 2024.
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And today I thought it would be a fun and insightful way to look back on the past.
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Insightful way to look back on the past specifically, 19-year-old Leanne.
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Can you give me a?
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rundown on what your day-to-day life looked like at 19?
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Okay, thanks, jess.
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Lovely, lovely introduction.
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19-year-old Leanne needs to go back a couple of years.
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So if I go back to basically where you started your story, high school was for me, a fantastic experience.
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I know a lot of people like yourself look back at their high school years and go oh, I'm so glad I'm out of there.
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However, my experience was a little bit different.
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I really enjoyed the social interaction being in um.
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I had a wonderful friend group, um, some of whom have even been on this podcast since I started it less than a year ago, um, because I've maintained those relationships, so some of those relationships over the years.
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So high school for me was was great time.
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I absolutely loved it.
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I was into everything I could get my hands on, debating sport, and I think we did touch on this in the last episode.
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The only thing I didn't get into was the music and the acting, which, funnily enough, jess, that's your passion.
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I also in high school, was the sporting house captain.
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I was the school vice captain in year 12.
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And I was part of a camping club called Adventure Club, very close to some of my teachers who remained.
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Some of them remained my mentors for many years after up to 30, 35 years developed such great relationships with a couple of them.
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And, in fact, for those of you that can see if we do a clip of this, if you can see behind me, the majority of the books behind me are from one of my modern history teachers, who was my dear, dear friend, brian Maloney, and one of my greatest life and educational mentors.
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I even followed in his footsteps and became a modern history teacher later on in life.
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So, yeah, high school was a great experience for me and I remember the night we graduated.
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Now, look, not much has changed there.
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Okay, we still have the big grad parties.
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You just like we did.
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We had the big grad parties and you know everyone drinks or what was mainly just drinking for us.
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And I'm not going to go into the drug scene because you know how I feel.
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You know how I feel about drugs.
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No, I feel the same way.
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Yeah, so it was.
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You know it was like, let's be real here.
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It was a piss fest, right?
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Everyone's just like yeah, year 12's finished, let's all get together and drink heaps.
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And I clearly remember that night because I believe every single one of my friends, except me, were partying and they were so happy and excited and I remember myself sitting in the corner crying because I was so sad, thinking this is the last time that we're going to be together as a friend group without the pressures of real life, without the pressures of university or jobs or leaving home, and I at that time could look forward into the future and know that that was going to be part of our future.
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And this was the last moment where, you know, we had that more or less carefree time to enjoy ourselves.
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So that's how I finished.
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You were very philosophical at 18, weren't you?
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Pardon, you were a bit philosophical at 18.
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At that time I was 17.
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I finished school when I was 17 and, yes, I was always, even back then, looking at the big picture like I do now.
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If ever I get overwhelmed with something, I stop, I take a step back and I go what's life really about?
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What's really important?
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If I was dying tomorrow, if I was on my deathbed or right now, would this thing that I'm worrying about be important?
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And if the answer's no, I move on from that thing.
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So you know, even when I was 17, I had that insight and I do believe that it's a genetic thing that people are born with the ability to be able to do that.
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There is some conditioning from your parents, some education, and you pick up on your.
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You pick up your parents habits, beliefs and values.
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Uh, I don't recall my parents being that philosophical no, and definitely not sloppy definitely not my dad, who is called Sloppy Poppy for the audience.
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So that was the end of high school, and not long after I finished high school in fact it would have been only one or two months I fell pregnant with my first daughter, kieran.
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Now this is where my story becomes a little bit different, because I didn't have the same experience of moving out of home to go to college or university, or moving out of home to go and get a job.
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I was moving out of home to start my own family.
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Yes, so that was a very tumultuous, confusing time for me, at the age of 17.
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And in fact, kieran was born in September the following year, so I had not yet even turned 18 when I'd had my first child.
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So, looking back at that period, that was a period of a rapid, forced, I would have to say forced because there was I had made, you know, made that decision to keep the baby because there was back then, even back then, like there is now still now discussion of when young people fall pregnant, should they have an abortion?
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And I was asked that question, which I immediately had a reaction to absolutely not, would I ever have an abortion?
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Because no one had taught me this.
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It was something that I just deeply felt that aborting a child is me killing a life, so it's it's essentially murdering a life, okay because that's your own opinion and you know you.
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There are consequences either way.
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You go with that sort of thing and you got those, those consequences of having a child at 17.
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I did, and I had the option of going either way.
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However, as soon as that was broached to me would you like to have an abortion?
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My immediate gut reaction was no.
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So that's the thing that's really important when you're faced with big life decisions like should I have a child or should I have an abortion is thinking about it not only with your mind, but also with your heart and your gut, because there's three different systems happening there.
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So if your heart and your gut are saying no and your mind is saying yes, it's two versus one right majority rules.
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Yeah, because, of course, my brain was telling me I'd just finished high school, I'd graduated with a fantastic what was back then a TE score.
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I tried really hard at school.
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I studied hard, put a lot of effort into year 11 and 12 to get the best TE score as possible, and I actually did get into psychology, which is what I was interested in back then.
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And that's amazing in itself, because now I'm very heavily involved in psychology and what I do now in coaching people, which is essentially all psychology.
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Okay, to be a great coach, you need to understand the minds of people and why people are doing what they're doing and why they're thinking, what they're thinking.
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Okay, even in the exercise field, and especially in the exercise field, because nobody does anything without a why no?
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So understanding people's whys is helps you with that connection and and really making a difference in a person's life.
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So even at the age of 17, I decided and I was pregnant, I did enrol in psychology a Bachelor of Psychology, I think it was and started that, I believe, while I was pregnant.
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I started studying, but it was distance education at that time, because I knew I couldn't go to university.
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So my question is, when I was talking about my big event of not having accommodation, I always had the support around me.
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I always had the support around me as a 19 year old who was oh sorry, a 17 year old, who was recently graduated and pregnant and moving out of home.
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How do you, how was the support around you in the sense of having people supporting you friends, family, that sort of thing?
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that's a great question, jess, because, um, support is something that you you either have because people want to help you they want to be there to support you or you, if they're not there, you need to go and ask for support.
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Now I can tell you right now because I was a very proud person and I had received a lot of comments from friends and family to this in this vein, leanne, you're ruining your life, that's it.
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You've ruined your life.
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If you decide to have that baby, you've ruined the rest of your life.
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So, very early on, while I was pregnant, when I told people I was pregnant, I often got that reaction, not from everyone, but from a vast majority of people.
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So when someone said to me you have ruined your life or you are going to ruin your life, I took that as number one, that they weren't there to support me.
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They were there to judge me.
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Number two, there was no way in the world I was asking those people for support because they'd already judged me.
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And number three, that there was no way I was asking anyone for any support because I was going to prove to them and to the world that I was going to be okay, that I could do this.
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This was a challenge and I was going to rise to the challenge.
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I was going to have the baby, I was going to be okay and there was no way I was asking for support.
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So when it comes to support, thinking back, I have to really think hard.
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Thinking back, I have to really think hard.
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I have no doubt that my parents were there to support me, but because I felt at that time like they also had a bit of the opinion that I'd ruined my life.
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And the reason people say that is because I'd finished high school with flying colors.
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I had the world at my feet.
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That's a saying.
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I had the world at my feet.
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I had a great TE score.
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I was great at sport At that time.
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I was a gymnastics coach and I was good at that.
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So I was very successful in a lot of the endeavors that I'd put my heart and mind to over the years.
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And for some reason, people think that when you have a baby, those qualities disappear and that now that your life's a mess and you've ruined your life.
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So as far as support goes, I didn't have much support.
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Number one, because some people who were like some of my friends from high school.
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Maybe they just they didn't know what to say.
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Maybe they didn't want a friend that had a baby because that's going to cramp their style like who's who wants to hang around someone with a baby?
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They want to go out partying, okay, I want to hang around with the babies, but then number two, but then number two.
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I also pushed away a lot of people who who may have been there to support me, because I wanted to prove to them that I could do it on my own.
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So, in that case, rise to the occasion.
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You did and you went at 18, no 17, almost 18, you had Kieran.
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You had kieran.
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What did your day-to-day life look like if you could walk me through a casual tuesday?
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Where were you living?
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What did your life look like?
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How?
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How did you get through your like your young adulthood turning a bit?
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well, if I think of, if you're talking about, are you talking about the period just after I had kieran, when I first had kieran?
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well, I mean you can talk about either period, because I can understand there's some things you can't actually legally touch on there, legally in regards to the dad oh no, that's fine, I can talk about the dad, that's fine but it's more up to like when you got into the swing of things, when you had a routine.
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What did that look like for you, and how is that different to me?
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okay, routine.
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There was no routine.
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There was no certainty.
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There was no.
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I didn't know what was going to happen from one day to the next.
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To be completely honest, when I fell pregnant, I moved out of home.
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I went and moved in with jason's no.
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Firstly, I moved to brisbane with my auntie, louise.
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Okay, after a few months of living in brisbane, jason and I decided to move back to Mackay for anyone who doesn't know, is Kieran's father, the okay.
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So we moved.
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We moved back to Mackay and I lived at that time with Jason's family, okay, and Jason was I believe he might have been doing some sort of apprenticeship yeah, it was an electrical apprenticeship.
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Back then I was, my day-to-day life was I wasn't studying, I wasn't studying then.
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I was still coaching gymnastics part-time and I was living day-to-day in not knowing what to expect in being pregnant, because I really had no idea what being pregnant entailed.
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I had absolutely no idea because I hadn't spent a lot of time around pregnant people or even around babies, and I was living with, you know, my boyfriend's family.
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Now, the audience also wouldn't know that that relationship that I was in did turn into a physically violent relationship.
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So my day-to-day while I was pregnant with Kieran was escaping the fear of not knowing what the future held.
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And when I say escaping, like trying to find some sort of routine that would give me some certainty, and I think I didn't really have a routine, so it made it even harder, like I had nothing to strive for, there was no goals.
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My only goal was to try and escape the fear of being pregnant.
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Yeah, so I just every day.
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I would just um, maybe you know, wake up in the morning, go for, maybe go for a walk.
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Um, I used to coach gymnastics a couple of times a week and uh, fast forward a long story.
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Um, I, when I had um kieran, we'd moved out of the parents' home and into our own little flat you, jason, and Kieran Well, I hadn't had Kieran yet.
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I'd moved out before we had Kieran into our own flat, which was slightly better because it was my own space and I wasn't sharing it with Jason's parents.
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However, by this time Jason had started doing some delving into some marijuana and other type of drugs.
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So I was then living in a flat that involved drug dealing and I had the baby.
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I had Kieran, and my first two or three months were trying to survive a newborn baby, having no idea how to put a baby to sleep, even how to feed a baby properly.
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I mean, I've muddled through.
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I muddled through, but there was a lot of uncertainty, there was a lot of fear and there was certainly no routine and there was no certainty in my life because I wasn't sure when police were going to come bursting through the front or back door doing a drug raid.
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So I think the theme of not being a teenage pregnant although that does happen quite a bit but the theme of not knowing what's going to happen from one day to the next and being scared and uncertain of what's going to happen in life is a huge one for young adults and people going from adolescence to adulthood.
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So when you escaped that situation and you were set up by yourself and everything was looking up, what got you through to that point?
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How did you?
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What advice could you give young people now to get through that fear?
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Whether that be the same fear you were experiencing they may be pregnant in a relationship that's not great or a fear like moving out of home, something a little bit more you know different.
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What advice would you give?
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Well, what advice I can give?
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Looking back because that's the theme of this podcast is something we've already touched on, and that is reaching out for support.
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We are human beings.
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We are meant to live in groups.
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We're meant to live in supportive groups, whether that's a family group or a friend group.
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We are not designed to exist in isolation, and I tried that.
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I tried that.
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I tried existing in isolation and, in fact, all it did was make my situation worse because I didn't have the support.
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Um, so, if you are worried, if you know, if you're going through a period of change in your life and you're worried about your future, or you're worried about where you are, or you're scared of of things, events that might be happening in your life, find someone you can trust and confide in them.
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Because I can tell you right now, if I had done that right at the start, those two years from 17 to 19 would have been a lot calmer and with much less trauma that I went through, because I'd have someone to support me and guide me.
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I eventually did get away from Jason.
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I left Jason when I was 19.
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It took me two years, and that's another thing.
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That's something that is very common when people are in relationships that they don't want to be in, they often become more scared of the change into moving away from the relationship.
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So, even though they know the relationship or the situation that they're in is certainly not going to lead them to a good place in their life and it could be quite traumatic or scary or just not good for their development the fear of taking a step away from that and moving into a new situation which is different often keeps them in that scenario.
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Often keeps them in that scenario.
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So for me, the key, the way I actually got away from that abusive relationship, was one day I phoned a friend and this is what I'm saying I reached out for support for the first time in two years of abuse and trauma.
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And that eventually led to you leaving that bad point and allowing you to move on in your life right.
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Like moving on, moving up, yeah, and it wasn't until I made that phone call where that was made.
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You know where I could make that change, because I rang a friend and I said these were my exact words.
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I said can you please come and pick me up at 9am tomorrow morning?
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I'm leaving my boyfriend and I'll have everything packed Now up until that point, even though people suspected, because you know you think you're doing a great job in hiding things from people.
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You think you're doing a great job, I'm okay, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
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People know people know you, people who love you and know you know that you're not okay.
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Yet if you're not reaching out for their help and you're trying to hide it, it takes a very, it takes a very brave friend to say leanne, I know there's things going on in your life that um, you know that you're um, that you're not happy with, and I know you might be scared to tell people, but I, I really want to help you.
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What can I do to support you?
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So if you are a friend of someone that you can see is going through a traumatic situation, be brave and voice your support and love for that person.
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I didn't have anyone who did that for me, but when I reached out to someone.
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They were there at 9am the next morning.
00:23:59.270 --> 00:24:04.721
I had my bags packed, I took Kieran, I got in that car and that was it.
00:24:04.721 --> 00:24:07.553
I was gone and that was a really big brave.
00:24:07.553 --> 00:24:08.875
I look back at that now and go.
00:24:08.875 --> 00:24:14.017
That was actually brave in itself because it wasn't me just saying I'm leaving you.
00:24:14.017 --> 00:24:28.242
It wasn't a relationship where there was no abuse, where you can say to someone this isn't working, I'm leaving, and that person says they might be really sad about it, but they're like they accept it and let you go.
00:24:28.242 --> 00:24:31.670
They might be really sad about it, but they're like they accept it and let you go.
00:24:31.670 --> 00:24:34.488
This was a relationship where I knew that that person was going to come and hunt me down and I knew that.
00:24:34.488 --> 00:24:44.663
Yet I was still brave enough to value myself, enough that I put myself first and wanted a better future for myself.
00:24:45.309 --> 00:24:49.760
You valued yeah, you valued yourself more than what you were.
00:24:49.760 --> 00:24:52.534
You knew you were more than what you had.
00:24:52.534 --> 00:25:04.656
So that theme of reaching out for support and reaching out to people to support them is obviously a theme that everyone has in their life.
00:25:04.656 --> 00:25:09.944
Life and support is so important in everyday life.
00:25:09.944 --> 00:26:02.234
But could you, looking back, tell me the generational gap we got into a little bit in the last episode and the generational gap is obviously a huge thing nowadays because there is a huge generational gap between me and you, rather than you and grandma, because there was a lot more similarities between you and grandma and challenges that your generation had at 19 compared to my generation that would be great because I feel like that's really insightful for me to learn hey, like this sort of thing happened, how can I apply those similarities and differences into my life?
00:26:02.275 --> 00:26:09.057
to help me, you know, and it will also help me understand you and you understand me a little bit better.
00:26:11.392 --> 00:26:12.113
Yeah, okay.
00:26:12.113 --> 00:26:12.794
So let's go.
00:26:12.794 --> 00:26:14.076
Similarities first.
00:26:14.076 --> 00:26:25.425
Yeah, I like to say human beings are human beings and the human being, biologically, has not changed much over the past thousand years.
00:26:25.425 --> 00:26:28.133
Okay, our bodies look the same.
00:26:28.133 --> 00:26:29.837
That they did all right.
00:26:29.837 --> 00:26:31.321
So we function the same.
00:26:31.321 --> 00:26:33.633
So biologically we're the same.
00:26:33.633 --> 00:26:39.041
Our brains function very similarly, I believe.
00:26:39.041 --> 00:26:59.045
Um, but the one big thing that I see now, um, which is different, that affects the way our brain functions and the way our emotions and our emotions function, is the advent of the internet and what that brings for people.
00:26:59.204 --> 00:27:08.103
So when I was your age, um, when I was 19, if I wanted to find out some information, for example, I would have to read a book.
00:27:08.103 --> 00:27:11.017
Okay, that was the only thing open to me.
00:27:11.017 --> 00:27:16.142
There was microfilm at the library, which was this big database.
00:27:16.142 --> 00:27:21.960
You used to go in and put these slidey things in and look through it all, but that was for research, like academic research.
00:27:21.960 --> 00:27:36.280
But if you wanted to find, delve more into a topic, you would pick up a book, okay, so when you think about a book and when you think about literature, a book, an author has written that book.
00:27:36.280 --> 00:27:47.839
So your views on whatever the topic is are largely swayed by the views of that author all right, because nobody writes anything subjectively.
00:27:51.230 --> 00:27:57.911
Yeah they write it objectively yeah so so basically sorry, the other way around, so they have their little take on it.
00:27:57.911 --> 00:28:06.717
So what goes into that is their life experience, their values, the way that they've viewed that situation, even even if it's a research thing.
00:28:06.717 --> 00:28:21.183
So a lot of our knowledge came from books and therefore we had to delve harder and to learn anything about anything we had to put a little bit of hard work in Patience.
00:28:21.183 --> 00:28:34.939
Yeah, also, what that actually affected as well was we used a lot of deduction reasoning, critical thinking during that period, because you would get 10 sources.
00:28:34.939 --> 00:28:38.654
You would watch the news we did have tv you'd watch the news.
00:28:38.654 --> 00:28:40.039
You'd read the newspaper.
00:28:40.039 --> 00:28:40.903
You'd read a book.
00:28:40.903 --> 00:28:46.337
You might read um, a magazine article or maybe on the same topic that you're interested in.
00:28:46.337 --> 00:29:00.650
Then you had to sift through that information and come to a conclusion about you know, whatever it is that you were trying to work out in life, and it requires.
00:29:00.769 --> 00:29:03.058
You can tell we studied modern history, hey.
00:29:05.471 --> 00:29:08.733
This is why I love modern history, because that's what modern history is.
00:29:08.733 --> 00:29:09.217
Okay.
00:29:09.217 --> 00:29:15.119
It's taking a whole heap of sources, reading through them, keeping an open mind.
00:29:15.119 --> 00:29:22.623
And that's the thing keeping an open mind, not being swayed one way the other, digesting it and putting your own take on it.
00:29:22.623 --> 00:29:23.932
Okay, and that's.
00:29:23.932 --> 00:29:37.849
That's a big difference, because now, now there is such an information overload that there is so much more overwhelm for people your age because you don't need to pull out a book and read it anymore.
00:29:37.849 --> 00:29:44.730
You can watch a 30-second reel or a one-minute reel on Instagram.
00:29:44.730 --> 00:29:58.654
That might give some great information, but it's still tainted by that person's perception, but then there'll be 20 others on the same topic and all of that is bombarding young people's brains.
00:29:58.654 --> 00:30:05.590
Okay, within a 10-minute period, for us to go and get that much information?
00:30:05.590 --> 00:30:06.813
That would have taken weeks.
00:30:06.813 --> 00:30:14.464
So I see the trend towards overwhelm, and overwhelm if it's unchecked.
00:30:14.464 --> 00:30:20.481
So if you allow yourself to become overwhelmed, that then can also bring on feelings of anxiety.
00:30:21.143 --> 00:30:31.025
Okay, so the information overwhelm that exists today, not just for people your age, but if we're comparing, we certainly did not have that.
00:30:31.025 --> 00:30:37.502
The other thing we didn't have was access to one another 24 hours a day.
00:30:37.502 --> 00:30:39.733
If I wanted to see a friend.
00:30:39.733 --> 00:31:01.626
If I wanted to talk to a friend, I had to physically go to my friend and talk to them face-to-face or on your phone, or I had to pick up the phone, which was connected to the wall, which means I couldn't have a private conversation unless my parents weren't home, because that cord would only stretch a little ways.
00:31:01.626 --> 00:31:09.779
You'd have to talk really quiet, like this, if you didn't want your mom and dad to hear what you were talking about I'm 19 now or if you didn't want your friends to hear what you were talking about.
00:31:10.569 --> 00:31:15.061
So this is the other thing I see which has changed and it's connection.
00:31:15.061 --> 00:31:31.212
And I know I've already talked about this, but and connection is so important and the way we connect with one another has certainly changed between when I was 19 and now that you know your 19-year-old self.
00:31:31.212 --> 00:32:21.535
And what happens when we connect via a screen these days is we miss out on facial expressions, we miss out on the tone of someone's voice, we can't touch the other person, so we're missing so much of that vital, um human connection that that makes friendships such a powerful thing and so great for you, for people's you know, mental health and feeling, um like they belong, that they're good enough that they belong in a group in a way, I think covid, when we because before we took it for granted right and then when covid came around and everyone's locked down, I think after that we've all kind of gone wait, there's.
00:32:21.595 --> 00:32:33.663
There is some type of redemption there in that sense, a lot more now than it used to be, hey yeah, exactly because it made people aware of how important the human connection really is, real human connection.
00:32:34.204 --> 00:32:38.481
So sorry, I said I was going to talk about the similarities, but I'm actually talking about the differences here.
00:32:38.481 --> 00:32:41.291
The similarity is this.
00:32:42.374 --> 00:32:45.541
The similarity is this we still need the human connection.
00:32:45.541 --> 00:32:46.884
That has not changed.
00:32:46.884 --> 00:32:48.367
That has not changed.
00:32:48.367 --> 00:32:50.251
That is ingrained into the human being.
00:32:50.251 --> 00:33:03.616
So, um, one thing that I do see, um, that is similar as well, um is just the common, the common everyday worries that 19 year olds have.
00:33:03.616 --> 00:33:08.820
Like my bum's too big, um, my hair's, my hair doesn't look good like this.
00:33:08.820 --> 00:33:09.749
This is girls.
00:33:09.749 --> 00:33:11.452
We're talking about boys.
00:33:11.452 --> 00:33:14.219
You know, like I don't look muscly enough.
00:33:14.219 --> 00:33:26.353
Um, you know I'm not cool enough, like those sort of like common teenage, early 20s worries and concerns are still very similar to when I was 19.
00:33:26.534 --> 00:33:29.553
Also, this is another one I don't know what I want to do with my life.
00:33:29.553 --> 00:33:35.673
You know, we didn't know what when I was 19, a lot of my friends didn't know what they wanted to do with their lives either.
00:33:35.673 --> 00:33:42.634
I mean, I was, I was pushed, I was, I was, I jumped into what I was doing with my life when I was 19.
00:33:42.634 --> 00:34:10.715
I was being a parent, okay, um, but even so, I I said earlier on in the podcast that I started out in psychology and then, as I progressed down that line and I did go back and study that when I'd had kieran, when she was a baby, and I then realized that no, this wasn't for me, because I I realized that at that time it would have had to be clinical psychology, which means I would have been in a hospital and I really did not like hospitals.
00:34:10.795 --> 00:34:14.001
I would have had to be clinical psychology, which means I would have been in a hospital and I really did not like hospitals.
00:34:14.001 --> 00:34:15.523
I didn't want to be in a clinical setting.
00:34:15.523 --> 00:34:18.429
So I said no, I don't want to be a clinical psychologist.
00:34:19.210 --> 00:34:21.313
So I changed to a journalism.
00:34:21.313 --> 00:34:21.655
Funny, isn't it?
00:34:21.655 --> 00:34:22.557
It is funny.
00:34:22.557 --> 00:34:24.164
I wonder who influenced this.
00:34:25.934 --> 00:34:30.726
Well, who influenced this was, well, number one my friend Carrie.
00:34:30.726 --> 00:34:41.242
If you go back to another episode where Carrie and I flip the script, my lifelong friend Carrie is a very good journalist and her and I used to be on the debating team.
00:34:41.242 --> 00:34:44.784
We used to do public speaking.
00:34:44.784 --> 00:34:47.960
We loved writing, we loved words.
00:34:47.960 --> 00:34:49.056
We still love words.
00:34:49.056 --> 00:34:51.259
My whole life is words.
00:34:51.259 --> 00:35:07.724
I talk a lot, I have a podcast, I coach with words, I do the Enlifted Method, which is all based on words, and Carrie is a really talented, successful journalist who words form the basis of her life too.
00:35:08.434 --> 00:35:17.081
So then I thought I'd go down the journalist line and of course I think I got a little bit into that and realized there weren't many job opportunities for journalists.
00:35:17.081 --> 00:35:24.820
Okay, so then I stopped studying for a little while and focused in on my gymnastics coaching, because I really was passionate about that.
00:35:24.820 --> 00:35:41.208
I still am, and it wasn't until I was 29 years old that I decided that I would bring all of those fields together words writing, psychology, coaching and I became a PE teacher and a history teacher.
00:35:41.208 --> 00:35:43.695
So those worlds united.
00:35:43.695 --> 00:35:45.882
But, yeah, back to the similarities.
00:35:45.882 --> 00:35:52.608
And you know, basic human needs and wants and fears are the same.
00:35:52.608 --> 00:35:56.666
The social conditions are vastly different.
00:35:58.135 --> 00:36:06.244
One thing I really do admire about people, your age, is the way that you adapt so quickly to new things.
00:36:06.244 --> 00:36:07.547
You're not.
00:36:07.547 --> 00:36:11.612
You're so quickly to new things, you're not.
00:36:11.612 --> 00:36:12.800
You're so good at something new will come out and you jump straight into it.
00:36:12.800 --> 00:36:19.139
You're not like from our generation where we're like, oh, but what if we press the wrong button, or what if we look stupid?
00:36:19.139 --> 00:36:21.306
And we try that and we don't know how to do it.
00:36:21.306 --> 00:36:25.742
And you know so we're very, you know, like when I was 19,.
00:36:27.204 --> 00:36:30.050
Oh, this just reminds me of a story when I was at school.
00:36:30.050 --> 00:36:31.599
I wasn't 19.
00:36:31.599 --> 00:36:43.603
I was about 16 and the first computers come out and at that time you had to put in all the dots and the dashes, and it was MS-DOS, I think it was called, and we had to go into it.
00:36:43.603 --> 00:36:48.918
We went into an exam one day and I had to do all this, this programming, basic computer programming.
00:36:48.918 --> 00:36:56.695
I and I was I was a model student at that time, can I tell you, I stood up.
00:36:56.695 --> 00:36:59.461
I stood up and my teacher said liam, what are you doing?
00:36:59.461 --> 00:37:02.956
And I said I don't want to do this, I don't like it, I just.
00:37:02.956 --> 00:37:04.018
I just, this is not me.
00:37:04.018 --> 00:37:16.802
I don't want to sit in front of a screen and I'm not interested in putting dots and dashes in and and I said I'm not doing it and I walked out and of course my teacher's jaw dropped open because you're not that person.
00:37:16.802 --> 00:37:19.376
No, I'm the person that rises to the challenge.
00:37:19.416 --> 00:37:25.286
But I was fearful of the change yeah, and I very big change for you.
00:37:25.286 --> 00:37:27.570
That was a complete generational change.
00:37:27.570 --> 00:37:31.797
So so yeah, you were 16 in what?
00:37:31.797 --> 00:37:36.981
1988?
00:37:37.121 --> 00:37:41.005
I was 16 in um I've years old and you know it was late 80s.
00:37:41.005 --> 00:37:53.275
I had Kieran when I was in 1990.
00:37:53.275 --> 00:38:04.829
So it was late 80s, early 90s, that I was experiencing the world that you're now experiencing in 2020 to 2024.
00:38:05.514 --> 00:38:18.226
So now that we've looked back on everything and you've given us so much insightful information like I never really thought about it, about.
00:38:18.226 --> 00:38:29.766
You know the fact that life is so similar yet so different for all of us everywhere, and all of us go through the same struggles because, as cliche as it sounds, you're never alone in this.
00:38:29.766 --> 00:38:33.914
Everyone else, all the time, is feeling all of these pressures.
00:38:33.914 --> 00:38:45.626
Um, what would, if you could do in two sentences, what would you give your 19 year old self advice?
00:38:45.626 --> 00:38:46.286
Wise?
00:38:46.286 --> 00:38:54.043
Um, if you could tell the 19 year old leanne any advice, what would it be?
00:38:54.043 --> 00:39:06.882
And then we're going to flip it again and I'm going to throw a curveball at you and I'm going to say if you could give your 70 year old self, your 80 year old self, any life advice, what would it be?
00:39:06.882 --> 00:39:14.438
You have two sentences to do it, so best of luck for 17, 18 and 19.
00:39:17.121 --> 00:39:45.965
Okay, so I would say as that, 17, 18 and 19 year old, the piece of advice I would give to myself would be it's okay to be scared, it's okay to be vulnerable, it's okay to not have everything worked out and reach out and ask for help.
00:39:49.925 --> 00:39:56.951
Yeah, and that is still so relevant today.
00:39:56.951 --> 00:40:03.701
That advice is universal, especially for people who are 19,.
00:40:03.701 --> 00:40:12.344
You know, and as a parental figure, you should be the person who is guiding and is the support you know.
00:40:12.344 --> 00:40:15.563
So that's a really beautiful piece of advice.
00:40:15.563 --> 00:40:16.981
I love that piece of advice.
00:40:18.637 --> 00:40:31.525
Thank you, jess, and never too late to go back and tell yourself those words, because that's part of healing from that trauma.
00:40:32.355 --> 00:40:33.539
It's changing the story.
00:40:33.579 --> 00:40:34.121
It's okay.
00:40:34.121 --> 00:40:55.382
It's okay that you're scared, it's normal to be scared and fearful and it's okay to ask for help because if your 17, 18, 19-year-old can accept that 18, 19-year-old can accept that, then your 50-year-old self can also accept that it's okay to be scared of.
00:40:55.382 --> 00:40:57.840
I was terrified of doing this podcasting.
00:40:57.840 --> 00:41:03.365
I know I was terrified and I found every excuse to not start.
00:41:03.365 --> 00:41:16.139
I put so much planning into it but I didn't want to start it because once I'd started it then I would face the ultimate fact that we all go through that you're not going to be good at something when you start it.
00:41:18.164 --> 00:41:19.960
I don't know, I'm pretty good at acting.
00:41:21.615 --> 00:41:24.184
But think back to your first acting class.
00:41:24.815 --> 00:41:28.085
No, it was, yeah, atrocious.
00:41:28.085 --> 00:41:31.443
Atrocious to say the least.
00:41:31.443 --> 00:41:39.085
So, bringing it back, I want you to give your 70, 80-year-old self some advice in two sentences.
00:41:39.085 --> 00:41:43.221
Looking forward for you.
00:41:43.221 --> 00:41:55.027
Give yourself some advice for in 40 years' time I could say it in four words and that is stay true to yourself.
00:41:55.027 --> 00:41:57.039
That's lovely.
00:41:57.039 --> 00:42:01.945
I think that's also, once again, universal.
00:42:01.945 --> 00:42:04.657
Isn't it funny?
00:42:04.657 --> 00:42:15.284
When you break things down and you slow it down and you really think about what's really important, the same three or four themes will pop up.
00:42:17.556 --> 00:42:21.047
Because we're all living in the same human condition.
00:42:21.047 --> 00:42:33.139
We are all humans, and it is mind-blowing how every human has similar thoughts, even the person that you look up to the most and think.
00:42:33.139 --> 00:42:34.523
That person is amazing.
00:42:34.523 --> 00:42:35.726
They've got it all together.
00:42:35.726 --> 00:42:40.148
They're so successful and they're so happy and they're so positive.
00:42:40.148 --> 00:42:42.715
Guess what they're going to have?
00:42:42.715 --> 00:42:45.963
The fears they're going to have, the am I good enoughs?
00:42:45.963 --> 00:42:47.387
What if I fails?
00:42:47.387 --> 00:42:49.842
And they're going to have them quite regularly.
00:42:49.842 --> 00:43:01.574
What they've most likely changed is their reaction to that and the words that they're using in their head and the stories that they're telling themselves.
00:43:01.574 --> 00:43:03.842
And that doesn't happen overnight either.
00:43:03.842 --> 00:43:10.567
That's a process, it's an awareness and it's a way that you can train your mind.
00:43:10.567 --> 00:43:13.280
So, yeah, thank you Jess.
00:43:13.280 --> 00:43:32.878
That was great looking back and giving my 17-year-old self some advice so that I can move forward even more successfully and being aware that those stories are still there, yet I know how to change them.
00:43:33.480 --> 00:43:58.523
Yeah, and from my perspective of just not speaking so much this podcast, but listening is that everything that I'm feeling and everything that I am going through is so normal, whether our situations were completely polar opposites, but we still went through hardship, but we still ended up having the same themes.
00:43:58.523 --> 00:44:02.364
I just had it in a different generational tone.
00:44:02.364 --> 00:44:04.360
You said stay true to yourself.
00:44:04.360 --> 00:44:05.197
I say YOLO.
00:44:05.197 --> 00:44:12.235
You know tone.
00:44:12.235 --> 00:44:13.438
You said stay true to yourself.
00:44:13.438 --> 00:44:13.878
I say YOLO.
00:44:13.878 --> 00:44:31.085
You know, in the crux of it all, it's all the same and it makes me feel like, if I can be any, if I'm feeling like this now and my mom's felt like this and she's already and she's my mom is doing everything that I want to do when I'm her age, then there's hope for me too and I'll figure it out.
00:44:31.085 --> 00:44:42.342
It gives me like a little bit of relief and validation that everything that I am going through and I've gone through is just a part of the bigger game of life.
00:44:44.835 --> 00:44:46.483
Wise words, Jess, wise words.
00:44:46.483 --> 00:44:48.840
You must have wise parents.
00:44:49.061 --> 00:44:51.235
Yeah, oh God, I'd love to meet them one day.
00:44:53.119 --> 00:44:53.460
All right.
00:44:53.460 --> 00:44:58.248
So that was another fantastic conversation.
00:44:58.248 --> 00:45:00.297
Now, jess, can you tell the audience?
00:45:00.297 --> 00:45:10.744
We have one more, and before we came onto this podcast, I gave Jess some exciting news and a very quick rundown of my future plans.
00:45:10.744 --> 00:45:21.188
So just in a couple of sentences, jess, can you wrap this up and allude to what's coming up in the next few weeks for Uplift you?
00:45:21.188 --> 00:45:22.516
Yeah sure.
00:45:22.876 --> 00:45:33.170
So one, everyone should be getting excited, because it's the saying.
00:45:33.170 --> 00:45:37.246
The saying goes when one door closes, another door opens, right.
00:45:37.246 --> 00:46:11.032
So, sadly, but excitingly, this season is coming to an end, but there will be and and changing my words, don't, don't kill me, mike and there will be a season two which is going to bring you more of leanne's core values and more of Leanne's perspective on life, straight to your ears.
00:46:11.032 --> 00:46:13.719
So it's going to be very exciting.
00:46:13.719 --> 00:46:24.309
I'm not going to give too much away yet, but there's only one episode after this one to go, and that will be with Cameron.
00:46:24.309 --> 00:46:32.336
And that will be with Cameron, who is very excited to hop onto the podcast today.
00:46:32.358 --> 00:46:43.967
But, yeah, one more episode to go before season one of the LK Strength Coach podcast ends Uplift you and season two will be starting in a month.
00:46:43.967 --> 00:46:57.789
I would say You're going to have like a couple of weeks break and it's just going to be Leanne, bringing you more of the core values in a whole different setting, in a whole different new perspective.
00:46:57.789 --> 00:47:02.782
So, that one's going to be really, really insightful and you should get really excited for that one.
00:47:04.318 --> 00:47:10.342
So thank you, jess, for leading the conversation today, and I really want to thank that.
00:47:10.342 --> 00:47:30.449
So many people who've contacted me via either on social media or even talk to me in person about how they've been enjoying the episodes, how they've gotten something out of it, and I feel like I've done a great job if I've helped one person either strengthen their body or their mind.
00:47:30.449 --> 00:47:51.731
That was my goal in starting the podcast by sharing my stories and other people's stories, so I'm really grateful for the people that listen and, if you love this, share it with more people so we can keep this going and turn it into a really valuable experience for everyone.
00:47:51.731 --> 00:47:54.822
So thanks, guys, thanks for being here.
00:47:54.822 --> 00:47:55.423
Thank you, jess.
00:47:56.715 --> 00:47:57.920
Continue to uplift you.