How to Reinvent Yourself at Any Age with Terry Yoffe

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Hello, everybody, and welcome to another amazing episode of Unstoppable Success.
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This is a podcast where we hear from amazing influential people, industry professionals.
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They get to share their insights, their tips on being unstoppable.
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I am your host, Jaclyn Strominger, and today I get to introduce you to somebody I absolutely adore, Terry Yaffe.
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Let me tell you a little bit about Terry.
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She, first of all, she's so freaking amazing, but we'll you guys will all understand that in a minute.
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But she is a three-time certified international business and communications coach.
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She has been coaching for over 20 years.
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She has spent years in both corporate and entrepreneurial entrepreneurial roles, say that 10 times fast, with 60 years of wisdom.
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Yes, 60, because she is amazing.
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She's a wealth of wisdom.
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She's got business savvy life experiences.
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She has learned how to face challenges and change head on through resilience, persistence, and perseverance.
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She has learned how to meet failure with courage and discipline by uncovering her own inner strength and power.
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Each day she continues to do the work required to grow, transform, and become the best version of herself.
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She is committed and she's an incredibly successful coach.
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She has helped hundreds break through what's holding them back and build the mindset that drives success, whether it's with corporate or entrepreneurial areas.
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And her coaching includes those who want to embrace ageism, reinvent themselves with each career pivot, as well as helping her clients learn the secrets of mastering life and creating the changes they want to achieve.
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Terry, welcome to Unstoppable Success.
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You are unstoppable.
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Okay, so I listeners, first you have to understand, and if you're hearing this in Terry, first of all, if you're not if you're just listening, she's absolutely stunning and beautiful.
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And you would never, ever, ever in a million years think she is her age.
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So anyway, welcome to Unstoppable Success.
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Thank you.
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Thank you.
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And I wore my unstoppable shirt just for you today, Jacqueline.
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I I am really honored and grateful to be here.
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So thank you for having me.
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I really appreciate it.
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Oh my god, it's so so Terry, you have you have had a career that spans, right?
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And so talk us through what has helped you have and be unstoppable.
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Because you are you're you're you again would never know your age, right?
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So I think I was somebody that grew up having or feeling unloved, unworthy, undervalued.
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I was, I never fit in.
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I always felt like a third wheel.
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And I say if I were a horse in a race, probably nobody would have ever bet on me.
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So honestly, I would and that's how I grew up.
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And I had a long-term relationship that ended in not getting married.
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I clung to the person because my greatest fear was he was going to leave me alone, and therefore it would prove I was unlovable.
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So I found therapy because I contemplated seeing a sharp knife in a drawer of maybe life would be better if I just took the knife out.
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Well, however, I did not.
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Thank God.
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Yes, and I committed, so commitment to seven years of analysis three times a week.
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I think that's where I really learned commitment and discipline, that I had committed to this, knowing that I'd probably not get married during this time, that I would go through whatever, and I did.
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I com and it was one of the most difficult things I probably have ever done in my life.
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There was so much pain, and it was a chance to revisit my childhood, a chance to look at the masks I wore, and who did I want hi I wanted to be, not what everyone told me I should be in my life.
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And with that, what I learned about myself was discipline, courage, the ability to look inside myself and pull out everything that I needed to help me get through the rest of my life, which it did.
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And I also found spirituality.
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I did a Buddhist retreat when you know, up in the San Cristobal Mountains, I slept on a bus.
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You go to the bathroom, there were three women in one bathroom.
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So, and here I was in New York sophisticate that dropped everything to be in that space, and it it changed me in again in so many ways.
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How old were you when you went through this?
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Probably in my late 20s, early 30s, 30s.
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And yeah, so late 20s, early 30s.
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And so were you in the corporate world at this time too?
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At that point, I was in jobs.
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Okay.
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Different, different world, different word.
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Sorry, right?
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Jobs versus career, right?
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Right.
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Well, I did kind of have a career in the fashion world, and that was where I was.
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I was always in the public eye.
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I did fashion shows, I I gave presentations, but I had this whole mask.
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I fit the part perfectly, how I looked, how I dressed, and I got fired three times, maybe four, living alone and figuring out how was I going to pay my rent.
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So what I did is I took whatever came along that was gonna pay me something to live.
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And in this whole space, I got to see what I was made of.
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I had to, I was a survivor, I knew that.
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Compass not compassion, courage to do all of this.
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Discipline, commitment, and everything else that I was able to pull out of me that was there.
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But I needed it to survive.
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And my career started at 40.
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Everything else, as I forget who said that, young, everything else was research up until that point.
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Right.
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Well, you know, and it's you know, I I actually wanted to stop and and first of all, applaud you, right?
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Because that's huge.
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But also, listeners, what Terry just said, I think is really important.
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Her, you know, whether her real her career started at 40, it doesn't matter.
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Age does not matter when you have something.
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It does not matter.
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What matters is your mindset, right?
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If you think you're too old for something, you're too old for it.
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But if you say I can do anything at any age, you can do anything at any age.
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You it doesn't matter.
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And I and that also, you know, when you hear that, that's the part of that mindset for unstoppable success.
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In order to go from A to B, you have, and as you just said, you stopped thinking about what others wanted you to do, and you want to do what you did, what you wanted.
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And and when you get and when you did that, like and you realize that, what was that?
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What was that like for you?
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I didn't really think about it at that moment.
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Yeah.
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So I was minding my own business.
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So this is where the universe comes in.
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And someone I know at Women's Wear at the time, the publisher, reached out to me and said, I need somebody to run a territory.
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Would you like to have the job?
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I said, That sounds lovely, but I have no sales experience.
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None.
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She said, I don't care.
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You're fashion.
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That moment changed the trajectory of my life.
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Because if I could have said no at a fear, well, if I, you know, it'll go, the mind will say, What are you crazy?
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You'll fail.
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You don't want to do that.
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Instead, because of all my years of preparation and knowing myself and research, and I said yes.
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That trajectory, I did three years there.
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I took a $600,000 territory to a million four and then got hired by a big media company.
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I spent 11 years at Conde Nast breaking records, doing amazing things.
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So that one opportunity, it wasn't the opportunity, it was my saying yes and not letting that piece of machinery call your mind run who I was.
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That changed everything.
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So saying this, folks, if you have an opportunity, you don't have all the boxes ticked off, go for it.
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You never know what's going to happen after that.
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I I I'm gonna say that again.
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You don't need to have all the boxes checked to go after something.
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It is so important if you just go for it.
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And you know, it's so funny that you say that because I'm I'm thinking about a friend of mine and she amazing woman, amazing person, an attorney.
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She was she was working for a company, and she was miserable.
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And we had this conversation, and she said, I keep looking at all these jobs, and I can't check all the boxes.
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And I flat out said to her, So can you check some of them?
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And she said yes.
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And I said, then go for it.
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If you have the passion for something, guess what?
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The passion will sell you right to the business, right?
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Like if you're passionate about something, that is like 90%.
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The other thing is to check the box, you can learn half that stuff, right?
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Exactly, exactly.
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And I did, and I went on to having a brilliant sales career.
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It's awesome.
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And then I, because of my husband's persuasion, he said, Go into your own business.
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Why do you have to work for a company?
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I left the golden handcuffs, the insurance, all of that to start my own rep company.
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So I became a hired gun in sales and did very well because people knew me.
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They they knew I had integrity, they trusted me until that landscape dried up.
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It just, and at that point, I had to figure out where I was going.
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I did not want sales, had no idea what I wanted.
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However, because I had spent so many years in analysis, I said, Oh, I'm gonna become a therapist.
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But I looked into it and it was too much schooling for me at that point.
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Yeah, I found coaching at 60 years old.
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At 60, I went to become a not only getting a certificate, that wasn't enough for me, I went for certification.
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And 62, 63, I already had two or three certifications, and I've been coaching for 22 years.
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I have shifted a lot, which hopefully over the years you kind of change.
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And I've been doing that, and at 78, so yes, I'm 83.
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At 78, I started a podcast called Extraordinary Work Conversations About Creating Change.
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And people said, What are you crazy?
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A podcast?
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There are so many out there.
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Why would you, you know, everyone has an opinion?
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Right, everybody has an opinion.
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Right.
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I did not listen.
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My podcast is in the top 1.5%, as per listen notes.
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And it's the same with coaching.
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What you want to be a coach?
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You've had a great sales career.
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Well, why do you want to do that?
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Retire, go do something else.
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Nope.
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So, another thing, don't listen to everybody else.
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Listen to your heart.
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Right.
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It's so important, and listeners, Terry is like a wealth of wisdom when it comes to this.
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And it's really, you know, unstoppable success comes from listening to your heart and knowing and following where you want to go, not where everybody else wants you to go.
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And you have what whether you realize it or not, you have the choice to decide how you want your life to be.
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It's your choice.
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Right.
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And it's and you can get up in the morning and you can, you know, there's lots of different ways and choices that you can make.
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But a lot of it also, I'm pointing to my head for those of you that are listening.
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Your head, your mind tells you so much and dictates so much of your of what is going on.
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You can tell yourself, you know, wake up in the morning in a bad mood and say, oh my God, it's gonna be a crappy day.
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Or you can say, guess what?
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I may have a headache, I'm gonna take some Tylenol or Advil or Motrin or whatever your preference is, and it's gonna be a great day.
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It's gonna be a great day.
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Wake up every morning and tell yourself it's gonna be an awesome day.
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Right.
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That's a mindset.
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And we make a choice.
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And as I tell my clients, with every choice, there's a consequence.
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Everything.
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Every choice you make, there's a consequence.
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And you have to figure out for yourself what you want those consequences to be based on the choices you make.
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Right.
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It's so true.
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And as you're saying that, I'm thinking about I did just eat a piece of cake.
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I'm like, that was a choice.
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Oh okay.
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Is that going to my hips?
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But it is everything that we do is a choice.
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And you decide, you have the you have the choice to decide how you want to be how you want to show up.
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And I love the fact that, you know, somebody asked you, you know, for that first opportunity that came your way for women's wear from women's wear daily.
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By the way, it's like I love it because it's like, you know, it was yes, such a great publication.
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What you know, anyway.
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To be able to have that and be able to say yes, and to really have the like listeners, opportunities, if it aligns with where you want to go, take the step, you know, everything happens, you know, growth happens outside of our comfort zone.
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So if there's an opportunity that is coming your way and you and you have that the butterflies in your stomach, the fear, see if the fear is because you're afraid that you can't do it, or is the fear because it's not, or is it come uncomfortable because it's not aligned with where you are?
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If it's not, if you're out of alignment with it, then it's not the right thing.
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But if it is in alignment, you're like, oh my god, I would like love it if I if I if I could do that, that would be great.
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Do it.
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Absolutely.
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Absolutely.
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That is that so Terry, you know, as you know, I'm sure it wasn't like a smooth ride to learn sales.
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So how did you get through that part too?
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Because that's you know, people are like, oh my god, sales, and you grew that, you know, you you basically doubled the the territory.
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You yeah.
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You know, it was uncomfortable, but I had gotten to a place where okay, I was comfortable most of the time with myself, and I think what I've learned is people like doing business with me, which is a big part.
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They trusted me, I had integrity, I was I didn't try to screw anybody over.
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And sometimes when a platform a new platform becomes available, it could be telling us this is the right place for you.
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You've got it in you, you just have to get on that platform or stage and make it happen.
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Who know?
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I just it was there.
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I was very, very good at what I did.
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Did you ask for help or how did you how did you get good at sales?
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I fumford.
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So I had a territory.
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Yeah, I don't even know if anyone went with me.
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I just muffed my way through it.
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You know, I knew the publication, and I had the New England territory, I became very entrenched in the territory, in what was going on.
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I got to know my clients, and I was genuine.
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I was although I wouldn't have used that word at the time, right?
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I was authentic.
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And I don't know.
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It it just worked.
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You know what you just you you said two things that I think are also that are really, really important for people to know.
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Two things.
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Number one is you knew the product, right?
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And you believed in it, right?
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So there is belief in the product.
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If you believe in something, so you have to, you know, belief, unstoppable success comes from belief.
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You have to believe in yourself, you have to believe in what you're doing.
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That's number one.
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Number two is you just said you got to know your clients, and that is building relationships.
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And that is to get to know the clients and what their needs are, or getting to know them so that it you know, you're talking about, you know, you're you you probably knew the names of their kids, their husbands, their cats, their dogs, whatever, where they like to go on vacation.
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And those things build relationships.
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And as you said, you know, people liked to do business with you because they they liked you.
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And I I feel like this is like one of those things that I feel like I say a lot, which is people do business with they know who they know like and believe.
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And people can believe you because you're you are investing in them.
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Right.
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So it's called what I call consultative selling.
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So you put your arm around them.
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Okay, what can we do together to help you?
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Even at Cond I never tried to lie.
00:23:12.399 --> 00:23:16.480
I never tried if somebody had a small ad.
00:23:16.480 --> 00:23:21.039
I didn't go and say oh you should be doing bigger ads.
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You should be doing this.
00:23:22.559 --> 00:23:30.319
I met them where they were and built a relationship with them over time.
00:23:30.319 --> 00:23:43.599
And that was something I've learned so much about myself in working in the two sales areas that I worked in.
00:23:43.599 --> 00:23:51.839
Two very different one was a daily andas is a multimedia company.
00:23:52.399 --> 00:24:00.319
Conglomerate right I mean it's huge clounds is ginormous and and lots of different lots of different opportunities.
00:24:00.319 --> 00:24:23.199
But something that you just said too it's it's it's meeting people where they are right and and not being the person to always it's meeting somebody where they are and not being the person that's trying to always up somebody because people can feel that energy.
00:24:23.439 --> 00:24:44.799
Oh right exactly exactly they know they know when you're a snake oil salesperson right or you are a real genuine individual who's there to work with them and help them and guide them.
00:24:44.799 --> 00:25:03.519
So it was I think a very worthwhile and certainly lessons to be learned.
00:25:04.079 --> 00:29:56.719
A lot of lessons a lot of hopes to go through you know it's it's interesting you know I I think it's I think it's one of the things today that that that I would say listeners like that it's so important to not necessarily you know you learned how to do sales on your own right that was something because it as you said it was you know you had the need that was it was that desire to you know you had to fend for yourself right so learn right figure it out and sometimes I feel like today and I'm curious about your opinion on this you know do you see that more people want to be spoon fed versus do things on their own you mean the working environment I think the sales industry has changed radically I haven't been in it for a long time but it's so different and I'm glad I am out of that part of the selling but I think what people don't realize we are selling ourselves every single day no matter where we go to a grocery store in my building I go places and my husband says how do they know you on the street he looks at me like what are you the mayor of our area yes but that's not true but it's people remember people that are kind people that are genuine authentic and people only think oh they're selling themselves when they go into a meeting or they do this but every person you meet you're selling yourself on who you are on what you are and I don't think people really see that on a different level if you will you know I I'm glad that you brought that up because I think it's really it's an important thing to to to really think about as you are growing a business or as you are in a position and I'll share this you know you are always selling yourself and you know Andy Warhol said you've got 15 seconds to make a first impression right so and you do I I don't you know you've got 15 seconds maybe it's even less today right right maybe it's five seconds but think about how you show up now it it matters and and that selling yourself it's your brand you are a brand every single person is a brand whether you like it or not you walk into a room your name is a brand how do you want people to remember you and think of you I've been I listened to a lot of books and right now I'm listening to Jack Canfield's you know the success secrets or what success principles and the very thing that he that was in my ear this morning was the you know three different people all had jobs at a at a bank tellers two would wear you know regular a regular shirt maybe a maybe a tie maybe not one always wore a jacket a shirt and a tie and you know over you know over a year the guy that was wearing the jacket and the shirt ended up getting his own desk as an assistant loan officer then he became the loan officer and then he became the branch manager and in in the book what you know jax basically said to him so congratulations I see you got promoted he said talk to me about the promotion and one of the you know one of the things that he said is that I researched what a branch manager did.
00:29:56.719 --> 00:30:06.399
I researched how a branch manager interacted with the clients I researched how a branch manager showed up for work every day.
00:30:06.399 --> 00:30:08.000
What did they wear?
00:30:08.000 --> 00:30:10.000
What did they do?
00:30:10.000 --> 00:30:15.359
And I from day one I knew I wanted to be a branch manager.
00:30:15.359 --> 00:30:23.759
I wanted to keep going and so I made it as if every day I was a branch manager.
00:30:23.919 --> 00:30:24.159
Right.
00:30:24.399 --> 00:30:35.119
Right it wasn't that he he he didn't think about becoming he said I'm going to act and that goes back to what we said like it's partly your mindset.
00:30:35.279 --> 00:30:55.279
Put yourself in that right mindset right exactly it's so exactly and that's a I love that that he he already was the branch manager from the moment he put that jacket and tie on.
00:30:55.279 --> 00:30:58.319
Right he already was the branch manager.
00:30:58.879 --> 00:32:17.839
Yeah yeah so let's talk about coaching I mean so you you you flip the switch you go from sales you're going you got a great that you've got like awesome certifications because not every coach does that so how was that transition for you because you know some people talk about transitions and they're like oh I you know some people transitions are easy not easy at all not at all first of all I was older going for a certificate was a whole program and interacting with people and talking to them I had much more of a therapy mindset which is not coaching but kissing cousin right no it it's right it's a kissing cousin to it it's not coach I mean coaching is not therapy right so it was a little difficult for me to shift my mindset from what I knew and what I did to the coaching.
00:32:18.240 --> 00:32:32.399
So I got my certificate and then I think six months later I went for certification and they sent me the book for certification it was a six month program.
00:32:32.399 --> 00:35:20.480
The book was this thick I put it down I went into my bed and I cried I said am I crazy it was like a telephone book I said no I was overwhelmed and then on the front of the book I found a picture of someone skiing off a mountain and it said I wrote I can do this and I said all I have to do is take it chapter by chapter that's it and I did and it was not an easy program because remember I was older it wasn't easy we had coaches that were why that were listening to us as we went through the program and at the end we had to coach we had to coach two trainers and I remember sitting in my bedroom with my blanket that I had gotten somebody gave me from my Buddhist retreat had my Buddhist sitting in front of me and I sent my little girl out no child nobody to just to distract me or to make me fail and I sat there and I so I said okay I am nervous right out and I coach two people and then you wait for the results I I know that feeling is like oh I remember I was in California with my two grandchildren on the street and my husband called me and he said you passed and my two grandchildren I thought they were going to fall over they turned around what what happened I was screaming so loud it was a very difficult certification to go through I didn't have to and then I went on for two cer two certificates from the International Coach Federation to my PCC.
00:35:20.480 --> 00:35:46.799
So yes it's difficult but what I find I have spent my whole life doing difficult things to me it's like oh okay I know there are many people that want results but don't want to do the work.
00:35:46.799 --> 00:36:59.920
They want they want what they want but they don't want to do the work to get to where they'd want to go and I think part of coaching in the beginning was oh aren't you gonna get you know like I said to my therapist because he never talked he was a Freudian therapist I said to him aren't you ever going to tell me what to do and he looked at me and he said yes I can tell you what to do but the next time you won't know what to do at that moment I realized no one was coming to help me or save me I had to do the work nobody else I had to be responsible and if people want to figure out what's holding them back where that missing piece is they're out of alignment they have to do the work by figuring out what's the fear that's holding them back.
00:37:00.159 --> 00:37:09.920
Right and that is not easy no that's true that is not easy it it is really not easy at all.
00:37:09.920 --> 00:38:02.000
So Terry I could talk to you for hours about this how can how can people learn more about you because you offer so many great things and you know there's so much wisdom and there's so many great things that you can share and and help people through so what is the best way for people to connect with you learn more about you and all the things that and all the great things that you do they can certainly go to my website which is try try which is my initials trycoaching.com and they can learn all about me and my speaking and my coaching and my podcast they can listen to it or they can definitely send me an email Terry at tricoaching.com I'd be very happy to have a conversation and if they're interested see if there's a fit.
00:38:02.000 --> 00:38:03.279
That's fantastic.
00:38:03.279 --> 00:38:09.920
All right listeners please do me the favor go to Terry's website and connect with her because she is absolutely gold.
00:38:09.920 --> 00:38:20.960
She is such an amazing person and I am I am so I'm grateful and blessed that I can I can call her friend and that I've gotten to know her and we get to know each other more and more.
00:38:20.960 --> 00:38:36.319
So please do me the the favor go and connect with Terry and then please do me the favor and share this episode with a friend a colleague a business associate because you know what there are going to be nuggets in here that people that you know need to hear this message.
00:38:36.319 --> 00:39:39.440
So share the episode if you haven't already subscribed subscribe and lastly head over if you want more unstoppable success head to our school community and you'll get great wisdom insights and we have power hours and we have masterminds great things that are happening for people that are involved in the unstoppable success community on school thank you Terry for being an amazing guest thank you so much thank you and listeners thank you so much for listening this is the Unstoppable success podcast I'm your host Jaclyn Strominger and we help we are hoping that you have unstoppable success so that you can leap to your greatest success to your unstoppable success you've been listening to the unstoppable success podcast with Jaclyn Strominger subscribe share and keep building your unstoppable life we'll see you at the top