WEBVTT
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I was recently having a conversation with a friend of mine, and we were talking about success and what success looks like.
00:00:24.929 --> 00:00:46.289
And it easily translated to any kind of success in any program that you might be doing, whether that's how you look at physical success or career success or mental health success, whatever it might be, there tends to be some sort of measurement that you look at and say, I've achieved it.
00:00:46.530 --> 00:00:58.689
But the topic of our conversation was a little bit different in that it is sometimes very difficult to know what that destination is or what that measure should be.
00:00:58.849 --> 00:01:05.810
And quite often you can fail to achieve simply because you've decided to move the destination.
00:01:06.049 --> 00:01:13.730
And in our conversation, we started to really think about how do you measure the journey instead?
00:01:13.969 --> 00:01:23.730
Because the journey itself can actually be a great way to understand if you are achieving success without having to measure the endpoint.
00:01:23.969 --> 00:01:47.250
And so I thought today we would talk a little bit about how we look at ourselves or how we see ourselves and what it is that we should be thinking about as we go throughout our journey of life and try to achieve those things that we think or thought were relatively important, even if those things somewhat change as time goes on.
00:01:47.409 --> 00:01:58.930
When I think about myself as a example, I tend to be one of those folks that really does look to see if I'm achieving some metric or merit as I go along.
00:01:59.170 --> 00:02:01.810
And often I will set a target.
00:02:01.969 --> 00:02:08.370
I want to do this many of these things, or I want to do that better than I did before.
00:02:08.609 --> 00:02:15.250
And I try to measure myself against that previous person just to see if I can get there.
00:02:15.409 --> 00:02:17.969
Now, there's a couple of traps one can fall into.
00:02:18.129 --> 00:02:23.650
The first trap being comparing themselves to others who are doing similar or the same things.
00:02:23.969 --> 00:02:33.729
And I call that a trap because we all have different aptitudes and we all have different ability to do certain things or achieve certain goals or targets.
00:02:34.049 --> 00:02:42.129
And comparing yourself to someone else over time is usually a way to set yourself up for disappointment.
00:02:42.369 --> 00:03:04.689
If you happen to be doing something that you are comparing yourself against a person who is elite or an expert at, or someone who simply has a different or better aptitude for, that person may continue to improve or reach the target that they set for themselves, or an artificial one you set on their behalves much more quickly than you.
00:03:04.929 --> 00:03:11.489
And that leaves you feeling relatively disappointed in your inability to achieve.
00:03:11.729 --> 00:03:27.329
What's interesting about that is that when you speak with people who actually are elite or who do things on a scale that is beyond what we would consider to be typical, they often tell you that they never compare themselves to other people.
00:03:27.489 --> 00:03:37.250
The reality is that they compare themselves to themselves over and over again, measuring how well they do compared to the last time they tried to do that thing.
00:03:37.489 --> 00:03:50.209
And I think that's an important piece of having comfort with your ability and comfort with yourself is understanding that the biggest competitor should be you.
00:03:50.929 --> 00:03:55.889
And improving is certainly a sign of success.
00:03:56.129 --> 00:04:06.289
The second thing I think that is important is thinking about where those goals and targets come from and why you chose those.
00:04:06.449 --> 00:04:13.250
Quite often, I think we pick a goal or a target based on something we think someone else would want us to achieve.
00:04:13.569 --> 00:04:19.410
Or maybe it's based on what you perceive others wanting you or thinking you should achieve.
00:04:19.649 --> 00:04:36.449
And quite often, when you do that, it puts you in a position where you are likely to change that target or that goal based on changes in perception around those folks that may have artificially created it for you.
00:04:36.769 --> 00:04:54.689
And while that does mean that you are on a path for continuous improvement, it also means that you never really realize what you have achieved and what things have gotten better, worse, or stayed the same for you as you've been on the journey.
00:04:54.849 --> 00:04:59.089
And I think that in itself is something worth thinking about.
00:04:59.250 --> 00:05:10.930
If you're in a position where you can never actually feel as if you've gotten to the goal line, you are striving towards a goal that is unachievable.
00:05:11.250 --> 00:05:19.490
And that inability to achieve certainly can spur you to continue, but you never actually realize how far you've come.
00:05:19.649 --> 00:05:24.449
And I think to me, that's probably the worst of the traps.
00:05:24.689 --> 00:05:37.490
As I think about myself, I think that I am guilty of never actually looking to see how far I've come in a lot of regards relative to what I think I want to achieve.
00:05:37.729 --> 00:05:49.729
And in the conversation I had with my friend, it was very obvious that he could see that I've come a long way with a lot of the goals or targets or objectives that I wanted to achieve.
00:05:49.969 --> 00:06:02.610
And in many ways, have achieved each of those in their own right, only to find a way to move the target and make myself feel like I had not gotten there.
00:06:02.849 --> 00:06:17.490
And so part of my new thought and my new way of thinking is that I want to look at where I want to go, but I want to look at where I'm going at the same time.
00:06:17.810 --> 00:06:31.810
And maybe there are pieces of the journey itself that give you great joy if you're not always looking at the part of the journey that you would consider the end, the part where you have not and cannot achieve it.
00:06:31.969 --> 00:06:51.409
And so what that means to me is that as I'm going through project after project, or I'm looking to achieve thing after thing, I'm gonna look at the individual pieces and I'm gonna measure the success of those individual pieces, and I'm gonna look at where they're taking me.
00:06:51.569 --> 00:07:14.610
And I'm gonna be more excited and more diligent around celebrating the success of the journey itself and celebrating the comparison of previous me to current me, then I am gonna be focused on getting to the very end of a journey that I may or may never get.
00:07:14.930 --> 00:07:22.849
So this thought is all about understanding that we all are successful in our own right.
00:07:23.009 --> 00:07:35.649
We all have achieved a multitude of things, but we probably have achieved many more things than we give ourselves credit for because we don't always look at the journey that we're on.
00:07:35.969 --> 00:07:48.050
We aim for a destination that may or may never come, and we give up some of the small joys of understanding what it is that has made us great along the journey.
00:07:49.649 --> 00:07:52.370
This is uncommonly remarkable.
00:07:52.849 --> 00:07:56.050
Thanks for listening, and I'll talk to you in the next one.
00:00:16.689 --> 00:00:24.689
I was recently having a conversation with a friend of mine, and we were talking about success and what success looks like.
00:00:24.929 --> 00:00:46.289
And it easily translated to any kind of success in any program that you might be doing, whether that's how you look at physical success or career success or mental health success, whatever it might be, there tends to be some sort of measurement that you look at and say, I've achieved it.
00:00:46.530 --> 00:00:58.689
But the topic of our conversation was a little bit different in that it is sometimes very difficult to know what that destination is or what that measure should be.
00:00:58.849 --> 00:01:05.810
And quite often you can fail to achieve simply because you've decided to move the destination.
00:01:06.049 --> 00:01:13.730
And in our conversation, we started to really think about how do you measure the journey instead?
00:01:13.969 --> 00:01:23.730
Because the journey itself can actually be a great way to understand if you are achieving success without having to measure the endpoint.
00:01:23.969 --> 00:01:47.250
And so I thought today we would talk a little bit about how we look at ourselves or how we see ourselves and what it is that we should be thinking about as we go throughout our journey of life and try to achieve those things that we think or thought were relatively important, even if those things somewhat change as time goes on.
00:01:47.409 --> 00:01:58.930
When I think about myself as a example, I tend to be one of those folks that really does look to see if I'm achieving some metric or merit as I go along.
00:01:59.170 --> 00:02:01.810
And often I will set a target.
00:02:01.969 --> 00:02:08.370
I want to do this many of these things, or I want to do that better than I did before.
00:02:08.609 --> 00:02:15.250
And I try to measure myself against that previous person just to see if I can get there.
00:02:15.409 --> 00:02:17.969
Now, there's a couple of traps one can fall into.
00:02:18.129 --> 00:02:23.650
The first trap being comparing themselves to others who are doing similar or the same things.
00:02:23.969 --> 00:02:33.729
And I call that a trap because we all have different aptitudes and we all have different ability to do certain things or achieve certain goals or targets.
00:02:34.049 --> 00:02:42.129
And comparing yourself to someone else over time is usually a way to set yourself up for disappointment.
00:02:42.369 --> 00:03:04.689
If you happen to be doing something that you are comparing yourself against a person who is elite or an expert at, or someone who simply has a different or better aptitude for, that person may continue to improve or reach the target that they set for themselves, or an artificial one you set on their behalves much more quickly than you.
00:03:04.929 --> 00:03:11.489
And that leaves you feeling relatively disappointed in your inability to achieve.
00:03:11.729 --> 00:03:27.329
What's interesting about that is that when you speak with people who actually are elite or who do things on a scale that is beyond what we would consider to be typical, they often tell you that they never compare themselves to other people.
00:03:27.489 --> 00:03:37.250
The reality is that they compare themselves to themselves over and over again, measuring how well they do compared to the last time they tried to do that thing.
00:03:37.489 --> 00:03:50.209
And I think that's an important piece of having comfort with your ability and comfort with yourself is understanding that the biggest competitor should be you.
00:03:50.929 --> 00:03:55.889
And improving is certainly a sign of success.
00:03:56.129 --> 00:04:06.289
The second thing I think that is important is thinking about where those goals and targets come from and why you chose those.
00:04:06.449 --> 00:04:13.250
Quite often, I think we pick a goal or a target based on something we think someone else would want us to achieve.
00:04:13.569 --> 00:04:19.410
Or maybe it's based on what you perceive others wanting you or thinking you should achieve.
00:04:19.649 --> 00:04:36.449
And quite often, when you do that, it puts you in a position where you are likely to change that target or that goal based on changes in perception around those folks that may have artificially created it for you.
00:04:36.769 --> 00:04:54.689
And while that does mean that you are on a path for continuous improvement, it also means that you never really realize what you have achieved and what things have gotten better, worse, or stayed the same for you as you've been on the journey.
00:04:54.849 --> 00:04:59.089
And I think that in itself is something worth thinking about.
00:04:59.250 --> 00:05:10.930
If you're in a position where you can never actually feel as if you've gotten to the goal line, you are striving towards a goal that is unachievable.
00:05:11.250 --> 00:05:19.490
And that inability to achieve certainly can spur you to continue, but you never actually realize how far you've come.
00:05:19.649 --> 00:05:24.449
And I think to me, that's probably the worst of the traps.
00:05:24.689 --> 00:05:37.490
As I think about myself, I think that I am guilty of never actually looking to see how far I've come in a lot of regards relative to what I think I want to achieve.
00:05:37.729 --> 00:05:49.729
And in the conversation I had with my friend, it was very obvious that he could see that I've come a long way with a lot of the goals or targets or objectives that I wanted to achieve.
00:05:49.969 --> 00:06:02.610
And in many ways, have achieved each of those in their own right, only to find a way to move the target and make myself feel like I had not gotten there.
00:06:02.849 --> 00:06:17.490
And so part of my new thought and my new way of thinking is that I want to look at where I want to go, but I want to look at where I'm going at the same time.
00:06:17.810 --> 00:06:31.810
And maybe there are pieces of the journey itself that give you great joy if you're not always looking at the part of the journey that you would consider the end, the part where you have not and cannot achieve it.
00:06:31.969 --> 00:06:51.409
And so what that means to me is that as I'm going through project after project, or I'm looking to achieve thing after thing, I'm gonna look at the individual pieces and I'm gonna measure the success of those individual pieces, and I'm gonna look at where they're taking me.
00:06:51.569 --> 00:07:14.610
And I'm gonna be more excited and more diligent around celebrating the success of the journey itself and celebrating the comparison of previous me to current me, then I am gonna be focused on getting to the very end of a journey that I may or may never get.
00:07:14.930 --> 00:07:22.849
So this thought is all about understanding that we all are successful in our own right.
00:07:23.009 --> 00:07:35.649
We all have achieved a multitude of things, but we probably have achieved many more things than we give ourselves credit for because we don't always look at the journey that we're on.
00:07:35.969 --> 00:07:48.050
We aim for a destination that may or may never come, and we give up some of the small joys of understanding what it is that has made us great along the journey.
00:07:49.649 --> 00:07:52.370
This is uncommonly remarkable.
00:07:52.849 --> 00:07:56.050
Thanks for listening, and I'll talk to you in the next one.
