Unbreakable Her: Hello everybody and welcome to the next episode of the Unbreakable Heard podcast where we make space for the stories of resilient women. A reminder that this month we are doing a series celebrating mothers and the series is called Through Her Son's Eyes. ⁓ our guest today is going to share ⁓ about his mother ⁓ with us. ⁓ We have with us none other than T.C. Cartwright. Thank you for being here with us.
Tarawa Cartwright: Thank you for having me.
Unbreakable Her: No, you're not. You're not going to dignitaries. You're ain't. No, you ain't. But I've known, I've known Tarawa for a really long time
Tarawa Cartwright: you
Unbreakable Her: I've met his family, initially his sisters and then met his family through church being in the same church spaces. So I've known him for a long time. Consider him, I consider him a brother. And again, he's got a lot of sisters. I'm not trying to step on those toes out there. just, you know, I sit in the back, but I'm in the number. But yeah, so for anybody who doesn't know you, Tarawa, can you just give us a sense of where you grew up, how you grew
Tarawa Cartwright: Hmm. ⁓ God.
Unbreakable Her: you know, like number of siblings in your family and where you fall in that. And then we'll take the conversation from there.
Tarawa Cartwright: so Tarawa Cartwright most people call me TC people who are close to me call me Tarawa and that's how I know who it is because the people that are close to me don't call me TC they call me Tarawa so grew up in a small town called Pocomoke City, ⁓ Actually, the slogan is the friendliest town on the Eastern Shore. And so that's where I grew up. My family's originally from the lower part of Delaware, Sussex County from Milford Lincoln area. ⁓ I'm one of 11. ⁓ My parents did not have a TV. ⁓ I jokingly say that, ⁓ but They took the scripture literally when it be fruitful in multiple supply and replenish the earth. I'm one of 11. I'm number eight. I'm number eight My mom had two and she had five girls and she had me.
Unbreakable Her: ⁓ huh, ⁓ huh. introduce us to your mom. it. Tell us your mom's name and you get to say her name you get to say it to say her name just so that people will know who she is. ⁓ And then if someone wanted to know about your mom and you wanted to tell them who she is and you have like a minute and 30 seconds ⁓ they don't know anything about her, nothing about where she's from, like how would you describe her?
Tarawa Cartwright: Wow. So my mom's name is Charlotte Nadine Cartwright. ⁓ Nadine. Jokingly, I actually call my mom by her name, believe it or not. Messing with her. All the time I do. Charlotte, for you. ⁓ But to describe mother, ⁓ I would say, and I'm not saying that's because she's my mother. And I know people don't really know me, but one thing about Tarawa is I don't really know how to be fake.
Unbreakable Her: You you
Tarawa Cartwright: I'm this is who I am all the time. So my mom and again, I'm not just saying this because she's my mom because I would be honest if she was a horrible mother I'd say she's a horrible mother But my mom has a heart of gold She can often be misunderstood what I mean by that is ⁓ heard like in the past people are like, I don't know, I'm scared of your mom or ⁓ she comes off a little standoffish. ⁓ my mom, she's very, her disposition is very quiet. ⁓ woman of few words. But when she speaks, ⁓ everyone listens. ⁓ Again, heart of gold, do anything for you. Take this shirt off her back. Growing up, there were so many different people. I felt like all the time somebody else was moving in with us. And again, that just spoke to who my mom was. Having 11 children and then taking on other people's children. It spoke to just her heart. That's who she is. She just has a heart of gold. She's gonna look out for people, compassionate. That's how I would describe my mom.
Unbreakable Her: It's amazing how many ⁓ moms, ⁓ their mothering doesn't stop at their children.
Tarawa Cartwright: Mm-hmm.
Unbreakable Her: where it's like, it's just in them. And it sounds like that's something that you can point to about your mom. When you were growing up, so now we're gonna ⁓ go you know, little Tarawa, from ⁓ as far back you can remember, through like school age years, ⁓ can talk a little bit about you experienced your mom during that time?
Tarawa Cartwright: Okay. So the young Tarawa and honestly now being an adult and kind of ⁓ some of the things in my childhood. ⁓ we actually had a sister who was diagnosed with cancer ⁓ the age of 16. Tarwanda Charlene Cartwright. ⁓ And unfortunately she did she passed away ⁓ of course due to ovarian cancer but I think there was like a moment in my childhood where I guess, you know, my mom was, ⁓ she was with my sister, you know. ⁓ My sister was at John Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore. and the reason why I say that, know from like fourth grade sixth grade, I was probably a prop, probably. I was a problem child. Like I can recall getting calls from the teacher and me rushing home, you know, to try to get home to the answering machine so I can delete the messages, you ⁓ know, because I was such a problem child. ⁓ so up, I felt like my mom was very patient because I mean, even me, and I don't know, that's what I mean. I don't know how in the world You know, 11 children and you got church and ministry and we got events and all of this and still how my mom managed to like, you know, keep everything together. I don't know. I really don't know. then, ⁓ know, throw in that, my sister ⁓ has a disease and mom is caring for her as well. Right. So ⁓ growing up, mom I tell this, ⁓ I would rather get beat by my dad. didn't get a woman by my mother. Because I will say this, I got a lot of beatings growing up, Rightfully so, I deserved every one of them. But I also was a little big boy, especially like, I kind of got, I was kind of big, eighth grade, seventh grade, like I was big boy, you know what I mean? So my mom will make you lay down.
Unbreakable Her: Alright.
Tarawa Cartwright: On your stomach and then have my brother sit on my back so she could give me a beating because I was jumping and hopping and skipping all over the place ⁓ But anyway, Yeah, I say she was a very patient woman dealing with of kids, especially me being just a problem child I'd be
Unbreakable Her: Mm-hmm.
Tarawa Cartwright: I'm telling the truth and shaming the devil. I was the problem child. Yeah, I was definitely a problem child.
Unbreakable Her: you and she gonna stick beside him. She stuck beside ⁓
Tarawa Cartwright: she stuck beside me. She sure did.
Unbreakable Her: tell like a story, ⁓ several like whatever direction you wanna go in? What is something that remember that encapsulates like who your mom is ⁓ from your childhood? ⁓ This is an example.
Tarawa Cartwright: I do. I have a story from my childhood that I often talk about even in ministry. And it's true story. as I said, it was Andre Cocky and then it's five girls and then it was me. So growing up, I was kind of, you know, if my dad wasn't around, then I was a person that would do the things around the house, whether that was trash or cleaning the cars or, you know, fixing the cars. but I can recall, ⁓ when I talk about my mom's heart of compassion and when I think about ministry now, I don't even know if she remembers it. ⁓ I mean, ⁓ the, lady is, is passed away. now. ⁓ but, ⁓ there was a lady ⁓ that, ⁓ used to walk up and down the street, you just, you know, I don't, I'm assuming she didn't drive. because I never saw her drive a car, but she would walk around town. We would see her around town, but she also lived down the street. Also down the street was a, now I know it, but I didn't know it then, but it was a drug house apparently. And I remember going with my mom to get that lady out of the crack house. True story. She said, Tarawa, come walk with me. We walk down the street. ⁓ And I don't know why I don't know What what what was going on? I'm not sure I think if memory serves me correct was something like with her children maybe like the the state or somebody was trying to take her children or ⁓ and mom ⁓ and I remember there were like there were bedrooms and there were like ⁓ mattresses on the and we're in this drug house getting this lady out of the drug house and my mom got her out and she was all like all discombobulated and we got home and then my mom took her somewhere. I don't know but she said girl get out of here get out of here. You got to get out of here and again. That's a vivid memory and it tells me everything I need to know about my mom a couple things. That's like when I said that ⁓
Unbreakable Her: Wow. Wow.
Tarawa Cartwright: Our mom, you know, she took in other people's children. I remember it was a girl who still to this day, as I remember my dad's church for a while, they lived with us. And we were taking a family picture. And I was out of, I think I was out of high school, maybe like a year or two out of high school. And I remember us doing, taking a picture. And you know, say, hey, get the picture. And I said, well, she's not my sister. What's she in this picture for? You know, and mom like pinched me. And she said, don't you ever say that she's a part of this family, And, know, that just speaks to, you who my mom is. I mean, there were like I can count at least like five people They live with us. I remember middle school, high school, like they lived with us. And so that just speaks to again, just my mom's, her heart and the heart of compassion that she has. But definitely that that's probably the most vivid memory that I have as it relates to the character of my mom, that she went took her son to a crack house to get another mother out of the crack.
Unbreakable Her: So she took you as muscle, but really she knew she was on a mission. She was on a mission. That's amazing. I feel like for most of us, especially once you become an adult, you get to the point where there's a shift in relationship, whether it's because you mature and stop acting up or whether it's just
Tarawa Cartwright: Correct. Correct.
Unbreakable Her: because you develop an understanding with your parents. ⁓ at point do you feel like ⁓ there was shift in your relationship with your mom? Or like what was that shift like from child to adult? ⁓ And like did your relationship change ⁓ as you to become more independent?
Tarawa Cartwright: So I think it changed. You know, it changed somewhere probably after I became a father. And ⁓ I my mom, and I mean, we can have this honest conversation, and I'm pretty sure my mom has had this conversation, I would think. ⁓ But had two daughters. and I remember my mom calling me and she said I don't not taking away from the relationship between a and his son she said but you have to be there for your daughters ⁓ and know I kind of okay I am okay I know you know she said no no no no I need you ⁓ to there because you need to protect those girls And then she went on to tell me stuff that I did not know ⁓ And I don't know, but I just kinda, I felt like my mom was vulnerable with me. And I mean, I never knew this stuff. I was like, ⁓ what? ⁓ But shifted then. And I think then, I saw the side of my mom that I had never seen before. ⁓ I don't know, but then we started talking more. And I don't know if it was because I was away, ⁓ because I always lived away. I don't know if that's what it was, but somewhere in there, I would definitely say it was after I became a father. My daughter started getting like four and five years old. And my mom was like, hey, you gotta protect these girls at all cost. And again, when she kind of told me about her childhood, I would have never known it. Right? would have never known that. And ⁓ so I think it shifted then, you know, I mean, when I worked, when I traveled, mean, me and my mom, I'm calling her every morning, you know, on the way to work, you know, just talking, just shooting the breeze, right? And so, yeah, that's when it shifted for me. I saw another side of her that I never ⁓ existed, you know. And also it showed me just a lot about her resilience and you know, it taught me a lot about why ⁓ and I think that's important because parents don't always say that and I know I don't know why she decided to tell me that then but it I think for me, especially the kind of person I am, I'm not a person that you can just say, ⁓ do this and I'm just gonna be like, ⁓ okay, sure. Like you gotta explain some things to me like, okay, why are we doing this? But it explained a lot when it came to how like protective my parents were, in particular my mom, because ultimately we kind of did whatever my mom said. That's how I felt. And maybe it was, you know, what maybe she made it look that way that my dad ran that ran the house, but ⁓ I kind of felt like my mom, whatever she said, you know, ⁓ that's, that's how it went. But it told me a lot about why she was so protective, right? She was so protective over us like, we couldn't stay at a lot of people's homes. You know, we couldn't go over a lot of people's homes. This was family members. She was like, nope, not happening. But it made me understand like, wow, this is the reason why she was the way she was simply because again, like her responsibility is to protect her children. So yeah.
Unbreakable Her: That's really interesting that you said that she actually shared that with you ⁓ ⁓ was vulnerable enough ⁓ give you the why. ⁓ was giving you the directives or the advice that she was giving you. ⁓ a lot of parents, I think, ⁓ ⁓ that far. So ⁓ will say, hey, you should do this or make sure you don't do that.
Tarawa Cartwright: Correct.
Unbreakable Her: but they don't go as far as opening themselves up and saying like, this is why I've lived this experience and I'm telling you from what I've experienced. So I think to your point, it's really powerful to have a parent do that because I think oftentimes we view our parents as superheroes or we're just not aware that they've experienced some really traumatic things. ⁓
Tarawa Cartwright: Mm-hmm. All right. Mm-hmm.
Unbreakable Her: One of the reasons why we aren't aware is because some parents just still like loved and cared for us and everybody else in spite of all the stuff that they experienced and went through and the stuff that they were carrying. So I think it's a really powerful thing that she not only gave the instruction, but also shared was vulnerable enough to give you the why from a personal place. So that's, that's like a, that's a really powerful thing. ⁓
Tarawa Cartwright: Mm-hmm.
Unbreakable Her: What would you say is part of your mom's character or personality that you have?
Tarawa Cartwright: So I know exactly what part of my mother I have and that is my mom can walk into any room and not know a person and She's gonna leave Knowing everything about them, right? I Mean, you know when I visit I remember one time this had to be like five years ago I went I went down on a random like Tuesday took the day off go down to visit mom. It was like around Mother's Day that weekend or that week. So I think it was like a Thursday, like a random Thursday or Friday. I'm like, hey, I'm gonna go spend time with mom for Mother's Day. And Pocomoke City, right, the only thing they have there is a Walmart, okay, and a Lowe's. And my mom had me in Walmart to pick up like... I don't know some milk and cheese. was in Walmart for three and a half hours and mom sat on it they had I never forget they had like this um they had like an outdoor swing set that you can like put on your on your porch and I after a while just sat there and mom was just sitting there talking to everybody hey miss Kramer how you doing? baby how you doing? how's your mom doing? and blah blah I'm like mom like bruh
Unbreakable Her: I already knew where you were going.
Tarawa Cartwright: Why? Three I'm not exaggerating. It was three hours and she was saying no it wasn't. Yes. It was three hours mom, you know, because after that first I was like, okay, all right Can we get what we came here for? know, and ⁓ yeah, and so I'm the same way I know it and I mean, I'm the worst I know but ⁓ We can talk oh I'll sit and talk with you for hours Hours and hours we can do this for hours and hours and hours. Yeah, that's yeah, that's that's you know, ⁓ so I know that's
Unbreakable Her: Mm-hmm. You
Tarawa Cartwright: a part of my mother. Definitely that is sure a lot of Cartwright all day long is that I can go anywhere and people say it all the time you know ⁓ or somebody gonna know me or somebody gonna know I'm like no like no that's not true you know boy you know everybody I'm like no I don't you know then it's like I go somewhere and they be like I'm like ⁓ yeah yeah yeah yeah so I'm like ⁓ yeah my mom I'm sorry buddy yeah yep
Unbreakable Her: There it is. There it is. ⁓
Tarawa Cartwright: Definitely Mamos.
Unbreakable Her: is something that your mother has, ⁓ a way about her, part of her ⁓ character her personality ⁓ that you ⁓ want daughters to have?
Tarawa Cartwright: Hmm. So, I definitely would say two things. One of them is discernment. ⁓ My mother has a gift, ⁓ I mean serious gift. There have been times that my mom, now it never happened to me, thank the Lord. But I remember a time, and I'm not gonna get into the story, but Andre knows the story I'm talking about if he ever watches this podcast. But she told Andre something that was going on and that nobody would have known. And we're getting ready to leave. I'm like, you know, it's like. We were down in Poké Mode. It was a holiday or something. We'd get ready to leave to go back home. Mom comes to the car and tells Andre something and gives him a warning. And it was like one of those awkward moments where you're like, I didn't mention anything else. I turned the music up and we drove. I didn't say anything else to him. A couple of years later, I said, Dre, you remember when mom said X, Y, and Z? That when she warned you about something that was going to happen. And he said, I said, what was going on? He said, ⁓ I was doing blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, what? and, She has discernment man. I mean she has a gift. Growing up, talk about scared. My mom, she be praying. We used to have six o'clock prayer, right? So you know, I grew up in a real old school Pentecostal church. We had six o'clock prayer every single night. I don't care if it, you know, growing up we had a basketball court in our backyard. ⁓ And so the whole neighborhood, all the neighborhood would be there at six o'clock. Everybody that was outside if you wanted to continue to play basketball you had to come inside and pray Okay, and mom will be praying and he come ashundi double shot time to hire and I'm going in and I'm in And you like ⁓ god So, I mean she goes into praying and goes into speaking in tongues ⁓ And so she has a gift so I'm saying all that to say definitely will want my daughter to have that gift of discernment, right? And I would also say ⁓ the lady, like the lady of my mom, like that dainty, prissy lady, I think is so cute. You know, she wears her shawls and she's, ⁓ you know, I love it. You know, it's cute. You know what I mean? ⁓ The mom dresses up like she's going to Sunday morning Easter on her birthday. My mom gets dressed. Like she's going to Holy Convocation at the Church of God in Christ on her birthday every year. I'm in full-fledged hat suit for her birthday. You would think the woman is going to Holy Convocation, the woman's night of the Holy Convocation, right? But nope, is, that's just who she is. I definitely think like, especially as my daughter's now, I'm in her, the oldest daughter just graduated, well, is getting ready to graduate high school and... two weeks. And so I definitely want her to have that level of discernment where she will ⁓ be able to navigate, right? Navigate the just by substitutes of life, right? ⁓ And she can navigate them with the discernment to know good and evil right from wrong and all that good stuff.
Unbreakable Her: love that you mentioned your mom's ⁓ dainty alongside all the ways that you've described her strength and resilience, because it really speaks to the fact that they are not mutually exclusive. To have ⁓ the to be soft or to have a softness about you or a daintiness ⁓ or particular type of femininity. ⁓
Tarawa Cartwright: Great.
Unbreakable Her: doesn't cancel out strength. ⁓ So I like that you mentioned, you talked about her resilience and then you also mentioned that as well. I really appreciate, ⁓ know, your ability to talk about the ways you've experienced your mom ⁓ what ⁓ wanted to do with this series, ⁓ this space is about the resilience of women.
Tarawa Cartwright: All right.
Unbreakable Her: And it's always going to be about that. But I also wanted to find a way to have the male voices connected to these resilient women have something to say, you know, about them as well. So the last thing I'm going to get you to do is to just look right into camera and whatever you want to say to your mom for Mother's Day, but also just in general, ⁓ is flowing from your and your mind, your emotions, whatever it is that you wanna say. to your mom to celebrate her the time when this is what we do, we celebrate moms. ⁓ do that.
Tarawa Cartwright: Wow. ⁓ ⁓ So ⁓ want to thank you. I want to thank you for all of your sacrifices. I want to thank you for all of your prayers. I want to thank you for the subtle that you give. I wanna thank you for not giving up on me. I wanna thank you for pushing me beyond ⁓ I think I had the capacity to carry. I wanna thank you for the words that you even gave on my birthday. ⁓ I repeat and replay them over and over again. ⁓ you know, about Isaac and the wells. And, mom, you are literally the backbone of our family. Your strength is unmatched. And to watch you ⁓ kind of sit in the shadows, if you will, of... your children, of dad, and I don't mean that in a disrespectful way, ⁓ but ⁓ to watch you do that, to watch you carry ministry, I watch you, I said, ⁓ to ⁓ get people out of crack houses. I ⁓ thank you for your example. ⁓ are definition of a strong black woman. And I love you for it. And I love you as we say, Olive Juice. I love you for the rest of my life.
Unbreakable Her: ⁓ Well I think we will, we'll cap here unless you have anything else you want to add, any other stories you got to tell or anything. ⁓ No, I think this is great.
Tarawa Cartwright: Mm-mm.
Unbreakable Her: And I you for taking the time. You ⁓ you're at work and busy as always. So ⁓ I don't take it for granted that you, ⁓ you know, spent this time ⁓ with
Tarawa Cartwright: course. Bye.
Unbreakable Her: with the folks. episode. yeah, until time. ⁓ Until next time. ⁓ Thank you for joining us on ⁓ this of the Unbreakable Heart podcast. And next time, ⁓ stay unbreakable.
Tarawa Cartwright: Until next time.
Tarawa Cartwright: Thank you for having me.
Unbreakable Her: No, you're not. You're not going to dignitaries. You're ain't. No, you ain't. But I've known, I've known Tarawa for a really long time
Tarawa Cartwright: you
Unbreakable Her: I've met his family, initially his sisters and then met his family through church being in the same church spaces. So I've known him for a long time. Consider him, I consider him a brother. And again, he's got a lot of sisters. I'm not trying to step on those toes out there. just, you know, I sit in the back, but I'm in the number. But yeah, so for anybody who doesn't know you, Tarawa, can you just give us a sense of where you grew up, how you grew
Tarawa Cartwright: Hmm. ⁓ God.
Unbreakable Her: you know, like number of siblings in your family and where you fall in that. And then we'll take the conversation from there.
Tarawa Cartwright: so Tarawa Cartwright most people call me TC people who are close to me call me Tarawa and that's how I know who it is because the people that are close to me don't call me TC they call me Tarawa so grew up in a small town called Pocomoke City, ⁓ Actually, the slogan is the friendliest town on the Eastern Shore. And so that's where I grew up. My family's originally from the lower part of Delaware, Sussex County from Milford Lincoln area. ⁓ I'm one of 11. ⁓ My parents did not have a TV. ⁓ I jokingly say that, ⁓ but They took the scripture literally when it be fruitful in multiple supply and replenish the earth. I'm one of 11. I'm number eight. I'm number eight My mom had two and she had five girls and she had me.
Unbreakable Her: ⁓ huh, ⁓ huh. introduce us to your mom. it. Tell us your mom's name and you get to say her name you get to say it to say her name just so that people will know who she is. ⁓ And then if someone wanted to know about your mom and you wanted to tell them who she is and you have like a minute and 30 seconds ⁓ they don't know anything about her, nothing about where she's from, like how would you describe her?
Tarawa Cartwright: Wow. So my mom's name is Charlotte Nadine Cartwright. ⁓ Nadine. Jokingly, I actually call my mom by her name, believe it or not. Messing with her. All the time I do. Charlotte, for you. ⁓ But to describe mother, ⁓ I would say, and I'm not saying that's because she's my mother. And I know people don't really know me, but one thing about Tarawa is I don't really know how to be fake.
Unbreakable Her: You you
Tarawa Cartwright: I'm this is who I am all the time. So my mom and again, I'm not just saying this because she's my mom because I would be honest if she was a horrible mother I'd say she's a horrible mother But my mom has a heart of gold She can often be misunderstood what I mean by that is ⁓ heard like in the past people are like, I don't know, I'm scared of your mom or ⁓ she comes off a little standoffish. ⁓ my mom, she's very, her disposition is very quiet. ⁓ woman of few words. But when she speaks, ⁓ everyone listens. ⁓ Again, heart of gold, do anything for you. Take this shirt off her back. Growing up, there were so many different people. I felt like all the time somebody else was moving in with us. And again, that just spoke to who my mom was. Having 11 children and then taking on other people's children. It spoke to just her heart. That's who she is. She just has a heart of gold. She's gonna look out for people, compassionate. That's how I would describe my mom.
Unbreakable Her: It's amazing how many ⁓ moms, ⁓ their mothering doesn't stop at their children.
Tarawa Cartwright: Mm-hmm.
Unbreakable Her: where it's like, it's just in them. And it sounds like that's something that you can point to about your mom. When you were growing up, so now we're gonna ⁓ go you know, little Tarawa, from ⁓ as far back you can remember, through like school age years, ⁓ can talk a little bit about you experienced your mom during that time?
Tarawa Cartwright: Okay. So the young Tarawa and honestly now being an adult and kind of ⁓ some of the things in my childhood. ⁓ we actually had a sister who was diagnosed with cancer ⁓ the age of 16. Tarwanda Charlene Cartwright. ⁓ And unfortunately she did she passed away ⁓ of course due to ovarian cancer but I think there was like a moment in my childhood where I guess, you know, my mom was, ⁓ she was with my sister, you know. ⁓ My sister was at John Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore. and the reason why I say that, know from like fourth grade sixth grade, I was probably a prop, probably. I was a problem child. Like I can recall getting calls from the teacher and me rushing home, you know, to try to get home to the answering machine so I can delete the messages, you ⁓ know, because I was such a problem child. ⁓ so up, I felt like my mom was very patient because I mean, even me, and I don't know, that's what I mean. I don't know how in the world You know, 11 children and you got church and ministry and we got events and all of this and still how my mom managed to like, you know, keep everything together. I don't know. I really don't know. then, ⁓ know, throw in that, my sister ⁓ has a disease and mom is caring for her as well. Right. So ⁓ growing up, mom I tell this, ⁓ I would rather get beat by my dad. didn't get a woman by my mother. Because I will say this, I got a lot of beatings growing up, Rightfully so, I deserved every one of them. But I also was a little big boy, especially like, I kind of got, I was kind of big, eighth grade, seventh grade, like I was big boy, you know what I mean? So my mom will make you lay down.
Unbreakable Her: Alright.
Tarawa Cartwright: On your stomach and then have my brother sit on my back so she could give me a beating because I was jumping and hopping and skipping all over the place ⁓ But anyway, Yeah, I say she was a very patient woman dealing with of kids, especially me being just a problem child I'd be
Unbreakable Her: Mm-hmm.
Tarawa Cartwright: I'm telling the truth and shaming the devil. I was the problem child. Yeah, I was definitely a problem child.
Unbreakable Her: you and she gonna stick beside him. She stuck beside ⁓
Tarawa Cartwright: she stuck beside me. She sure did.
Unbreakable Her: tell like a story, ⁓ several like whatever direction you wanna go in? What is something that remember that encapsulates like who your mom is ⁓ from your childhood? ⁓ This is an example.
Tarawa Cartwright: I do. I have a story from my childhood that I often talk about even in ministry. And it's true story. as I said, it was Andre Cocky and then it's five girls and then it was me. So growing up, I was kind of, you know, if my dad wasn't around, then I was a person that would do the things around the house, whether that was trash or cleaning the cars or, you know, fixing the cars. but I can recall, ⁓ when I talk about my mom's heart of compassion and when I think about ministry now, I don't even know if she remembers it. ⁓ I mean, ⁓ the, lady is, is passed away. now. ⁓ but, ⁓ there was a lady ⁓ that, ⁓ used to walk up and down the street, you just, you know, I don't, I'm assuming she didn't drive. because I never saw her drive a car, but she would walk around town. We would see her around town, but she also lived down the street. Also down the street was a, now I know it, but I didn't know it then, but it was a drug house apparently. And I remember going with my mom to get that lady out of the crack house. True story. She said, Tarawa, come walk with me. We walk down the street. ⁓ And I don't know why I don't know What what what was going on? I'm not sure I think if memory serves me correct was something like with her children maybe like the the state or somebody was trying to take her children or ⁓ and mom ⁓ and I remember there were like there were bedrooms and there were like ⁓ mattresses on the and we're in this drug house getting this lady out of the drug house and my mom got her out and she was all like all discombobulated and we got home and then my mom took her somewhere. I don't know but she said girl get out of here get out of here. You got to get out of here and again. That's a vivid memory and it tells me everything I need to know about my mom a couple things. That's like when I said that ⁓
Unbreakable Her: Wow. Wow.
Tarawa Cartwright: Our mom, you know, she took in other people's children. I remember it was a girl who still to this day, as I remember my dad's church for a while, they lived with us. And we were taking a family picture. And I was out of, I think I was out of high school, maybe like a year or two out of high school. And I remember us doing, taking a picture. And you know, say, hey, get the picture. And I said, well, she's not my sister. What's she in this picture for? You know, and mom like pinched me. And she said, don't you ever say that she's a part of this family, And, know, that just speaks to, you who my mom is. I mean, there were like I can count at least like five people They live with us. I remember middle school, high school, like they lived with us. And so that just speaks to again, just my mom's, her heart and the heart of compassion that she has. But definitely that that's probably the most vivid memory that I have as it relates to the character of my mom, that she went took her son to a crack house to get another mother out of the crack.
Unbreakable Her: So she took you as muscle, but really she knew she was on a mission. She was on a mission. That's amazing. I feel like for most of us, especially once you become an adult, you get to the point where there's a shift in relationship, whether it's because you mature and stop acting up or whether it's just
Tarawa Cartwright: Correct. Correct.
Unbreakable Her: because you develop an understanding with your parents. ⁓ at point do you feel like ⁓ there was shift in your relationship with your mom? Or like what was that shift like from child to adult? ⁓ And like did your relationship change ⁓ as you to become more independent?
Tarawa Cartwright: So I think it changed. You know, it changed somewhere probably after I became a father. And ⁓ I my mom, and I mean, we can have this honest conversation, and I'm pretty sure my mom has had this conversation, I would think. ⁓ But had two daughters. and I remember my mom calling me and she said I don't not taking away from the relationship between a and his son she said but you have to be there for your daughters ⁓ and know I kind of okay I am okay I know you know she said no no no no I need you ⁓ to there because you need to protect those girls And then she went on to tell me stuff that I did not know ⁓ And I don't know, but I just kinda, I felt like my mom was vulnerable with me. And I mean, I never knew this stuff. I was like, ⁓ what? ⁓ But shifted then. And I think then, I saw the side of my mom that I had never seen before. ⁓ I don't know, but then we started talking more. And I don't know if it was because I was away, ⁓ because I always lived away. I don't know if that's what it was, but somewhere in there, I would definitely say it was after I became a father. My daughter started getting like four and five years old. And my mom was like, hey, you gotta protect these girls at all cost. And again, when she kind of told me about her childhood, I would have never known it. Right? would have never known that. And ⁓ so I think it shifted then, you know, I mean, when I worked, when I traveled, mean, me and my mom, I'm calling her every morning, you know, on the way to work, you know, just talking, just shooting the breeze, right? And so, yeah, that's when it shifted for me. I saw another side of her that I never ⁓ existed, you know. And also it showed me just a lot about her resilience and you know, it taught me a lot about why ⁓ and I think that's important because parents don't always say that and I know I don't know why she decided to tell me that then but it I think for me, especially the kind of person I am, I'm not a person that you can just say, ⁓ do this and I'm just gonna be like, ⁓ okay, sure. Like you gotta explain some things to me like, okay, why are we doing this? But it explained a lot when it came to how like protective my parents were, in particular my mom, because ultimately we kind of did whatever my mom said. That's how I felt. And maybe it was, you know, what maybe she made it look that way that my dad ran that ran the house, but ⁓ I kind of felt like my mom, whatever she said, you know, ⁓ that's, that's how it went. But it told me a lot about why she was so protective, right? She was so protective over us like, we couldn't stay at a lot of people's homes. You know, we couldn't go over a lot of people's homes. This was family members. She was like, nope, not happening. But it made me understand like, wow, this is the reason why she was the way she was simply because again, like her responsibility is to protect her children. So yeah.
Unbreakable Her: That's really interesting that you said that she actually shared that with you ⁓ ⁓ was vulnerable enough ⁓ give you the why. ⁓ was giving you the directives or the advice that she was giving you. ⁓ a lot of parents, I think, ⁓ ⁓ that far. So ⁓ will say, hey, you should do this or make sure you don't do that.
Tarawa Cartwright: Correct.
Unbreakable Her: but they don't go as far as opening themselves up and saying like, this is why I've lived this experience and I'm telling you from what I've experienced. So I think to your point, it's really powerful to have a parent do that because I think oftentimes we view our parents as superheroes or we're just not aware that they've experienced some really traumatic things. ⁓
Tarawa Cartwright: Mm-hmm. All right. Mm-hmm.
Unbreakable Her: One of the reasons why we aren't aware is because some parents just still like loved and cared for us and everybody else in spite of all the stuff that they experienced and went through and the stuff that they were carrying. So I think it's a really powerful thing that she not only gave the instruction, but also shared was vulnerable enough to give you the why from a personal place. So that's, that's like a, that's a really powerful thing. ⁓
Tarawa Cartwright: Mm-hmm.
Unbreakable Her: What would you say is part of your mom's character or personality that you have?
Tarawa Cartwright: So I know exactly what part of my mother I have and that is my mom can walk into any room and not know a person and She's gonna leave Knowing everything about them, right? I Mean, you know when I visit I remember one time this had to be like five years ago I went I went down on a random like Tuesday took the day off go down to visit mom. It was like around Mother's Day that weekend or that week. So I think it was like a Thursday, like a random Thursday or Friday. I'm like, hey, I'm gonna go spend time with mom for Mother's Day. And Pocomoke City, right, the only thing they have there is a Walmart, okay, and a Lowe's. And my mom had me in Walmart to pick up like... I don't know some milk and cheese. was in Walmart for three and a half hours and mom sat on it they had I never forget they had like this um they had like an outdoor swing set that you can like put on your on your porch and I after a while just sat there and mom was just sitting there talking to everybody hey miss Kramer how you doing? baby how you doing? how's your mom doing? and blah blah I'm like mom like bruh
Unbreakable Her: I already knew where you were going.
Tarawa Cartwright: Why? Three I'm not exaggerating. It was three hours and she was saying no it wasn't. Yes. It was three hours mom, you know, because after that first I was like, okay, all right Can we get what we came here for? know, and ⁓ yeah, and so I'm the same way I know it and I mean, I'm the worst I know but ⁓ We can talk oh I'll sit and talk with you for hours Hours and hours we can do this for hours and hours and hours. Yeah, that's yeah, that's that's you know, ⁓ so I know that's
Unbreakable Her: Mm-hmm. You
Tarawa Cartwright: a part of my mother. Definitely that is sure a lot of Cartwright all day long is that I can go anywhere and people say it all the time you know ⁓ or somebody gonna know me or somebody gonna know I'm like no like no that's not true you know boy you know everybody I'm like no I don't you know then it's like I go somewhere and they be like I'm like ⁓ yeah yeah yeah yeah so I'm like ⁓ yeah my mom I'm sorry buddy yeah yep
Unbreakable Her: There it is. There it is. ⁓
Tarawa Cartwright: Definitely Mamos.
Unbreakable Her: is something that your mother has, ⁓ a way about her, part of her ⁓ character her personality ⁓ that you ⁓ want daughters to have?
Tarawa Cartwright: Hmm. So, I definitely would say two things. One of them is discernment. ⁓ My mother has a gift, ⁓ I mean serious gift. There have been times that my mom, now it never happened to me, thank the Lord. But I remember a time, and I'm not gonna get into the story, but Andre knows the story I'm talking about if he ever watches this podcast. But she told Andre something that was going on and that nobody would have known. And we're getting ready to leave. I'm like, you know, it's like. We were down in Poké Mode. It was a holiday or something. We'd get ready to leave to go back home. Mom comes to the car and tells Andre something and gives him a warning. And it was like one of those awkward moments where you're like, I didn't mention anything else. I turned the music up and we drove. I didn't say anything else to him. A couple of years later, I said, Dre, you remember when mom said X, Y, and Z? That when she warned you about something that was going to happen. And he said, I said, what was going on? He said, ⁓ I was doing blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, what? and, She has discernment man. I mean she has a gift. Growing up, talk about scared. My mom, she be praying. We used to have six o'clock prayer, right? So you know, I grew up in a real old school Pentecostal church. We had six o'clock prayer every single night. I don't care if it, you know, growing up we had a basketball court in our backyard. ⁓ And so the whole neighborhood, all the neighborhood would be there at six o'clock. Everybody that was outside if you wanted to continue to play basketball you had to come inside and pray Okay, and mom will be praying and he come ashundi double shot time to hire and I'm going in and I'm in And you like ⁓ god So, I mean she goes into praying and goes into speaking in tongues ⁓ And so she has a gift so I'm saying all that to say definitely will want my daughter to have that gift of discernment, right? And I would also say ⁓ the lady, like the lady of my mom, like that dainty, prissy lady, I think is so cute. You know, she wears her shawls and she's, ⁓ you know, I love it. You know, it's cute. You know what I mean? ⁓ The mom dresses up like she's going to Sunday morning Easter on her birthday. My mom gets dressed. Like she's going to Holy Convocation at the Church of God in Christ on her birthday every year. I'm in full-fledged hat suit for her birthday. You would think the woman is going to Holy Convocation, the woman's night of the Holy Convocation, right? But nope, is, that's just who she is. I definitely think like, especially as my daughter's now, I'm in her, the oldest daughter just graduated, well, is getting ready to graduate high school and... two weeks. And so I definitely want her to have that level of discernment where she will ⁓ be able to navigate, right? Navigate the just by substitutes of life, right? ⁓ And she can navigate them with the discernment to know good and evil right from wrong and all that good stuff.
Unbreakable Her: love that you mentioned your mom's ⁓ dainty alongside all the ways that you've described her strength and resilience, because it really speaks to the fact that they are not mutually exclusive. To have ⁓ the to be soft or to have a softness about you or a daintiness ⁓ or particular type of femininity. ⁓
Tarawa Cartwright: Great.
Unbreakable Her: doesn't cancel out strength. ⁓ So I like that you mentioned, you talked about her resilience and then you also mentioned that as well. I really appreciate, ⁓ know, your ability to talk about the ways you've experienced your mom ⁓ what ⁓ wanted to do with this series, ⁓ this space is about the resilience of women.
Tarawa Cartwright: All right.
Unbreakable Her: And it's always going to be about that. But I also wanted to find a way to have the male voices connected to these resilient women have something to say, you know, about them as well. So the last thing I'm going to get you to do is to just look right into camera and whatever you want to say to your mom for Mother's Day, but also just in general, ⁓ is flowing from your and your mind, your emotions, whatever it is that you wanna say. to your mom to celebrate her the time when this is what we do, we celebrate moms. ⁓ do that.
Tarawa Cartwright: Wow. ⁓ ⁓ So ⁓ want to thank you. I want to thank you for all of your sacrifices. I want to thank you for all of your prayers. I want to thank you for the subtle that you give. I wanna thank you for not giving up on me. I wanna thank you for pushing me beyond ⁓ I think I had the capacity to carry. I wanna thank you for the words that you even gave on my birthday. ⁓ I repeat and replay them over and over again. ⁓ you know, about Isaac and the wells. And, mom, you are literally the backbone of our family. Your strength is unmatched. And to watch you ⁓ kind of sit in the shadows, if you will, of... your children, of dad, and I don't mean that in a disrespectful way, ⁓ but ⁓ to watch you do that, to watch you carry ministry, I watch you, I said, ⁓ to ⁓ get people out of crack houses. I ⁓ thank you for your example. ⁓ are definition of a strong black woman. And I love you for it. And I love you as we say, Olive Juice. I love you for the rest of my life.
Unbreakable Her: ⁓ Well I think we will, we'll cap here unless you have anything else you want to add, any other stories you got to tell or anything. ⁓ No, I think this is great.
Tarawa Cartwright: Mm-mm.
Unbreakable Her: And I you for taking the time. You ⁓ you're at work and busy as always. So ⁓ I don't take it for granted that you, ⁓ you know, spent this time ⁓ with
Tarawa Cartwright: course. Bye.
Unbreakable Her: with the folks. episode. yeah, until time. ⁓ Until next time. ⁓ Thank you for joining us on ⁓ this of the Unbreakable Heart podcast. And next time, ⁓ stay unbreakable.
Tarawa Cartwright: Until next time.
