The Identity You Keep Rehearsing

WEBVTT
00:00:49.429 --> 00:00:56.469
Welcome to Transformative Living Radio, where we explore the power of intentional change for personal growth and fulfillment.
00:00:56.630 --> 00:01:01.030
I'm Andre Flax, your host and certified life and leadership coach.
00:01:01.270 --> 00:01:05.990
There's a story about an actor who took on a role that asked everything of him.
00:01:06.230 --> 00:01:12.390
He played a man who was bitter, suspicious, always waiting for someone to betray him.
00:01:12.629 --> 00:01:16.549
Now, for months, the actor lived inside that character.
00:01:16.790 --> 00:01:22.150
He rehearsed the way the man walked, slightly hunched, like he was bracing for a hit.
00:01:22.550 --> 00:01:26.550
He rehearsed the way the man talked, clipped and guarded.
00:01:26.789 --> 00:01:34.150
He rehearsed the way he looked at people, always a half-second of suspicion before he trusted anything they said.
00:01:34.870 --> 00:01:37.510
The actor was brilliant at the role.
00:01:37.670 --> 00:01:41.270
He received standing ovations and raving reviews.
00:01:41.510 --> 00:01:43.990
But here's the part that stuck with me.
00:01:44.230 --> 00:01:50.390
When the show finally closed, the actor went home, and the character came with him.
00:01:50.629 --> 00:01:52.549
His wife noticed it first.
00:01:52.870 --> 00:01:54.310
He was short with her.
00:01:54.549 --> 00:01:56.390
He second-guessed his friends.
00:01:56.629 --> 00:02:01.109
He'd walk into a room and scanned it like somebody was about to hurt him.
00:02:01.350 --> 00:02:05.350
You see, the performance was over, but the rehearsal wasn't.
00:02:05.590 --> 00:02:13.829
The actor practiced the man so many times that his body, his voice, and his mind didn't know how to stop beating him.
00:02:14.310 --> 00:02:17.110
Now here's why I'm telling you this story.
00:02:17.430 --> 00:02:24.629
Most of us aren't actors, but every single one of us is rehearsing a role every single day.
00:02:24.870 --> 00:02:31.829
And the question isn't whether you're rehearsing, the question is, who are you rehearsing to become?
00:02:32.550 --> 00:02:36.790
Today's episode is one I've been carrying in my heart for a while.
00:02:37.030 --> 00:02:41.990
Because it touches on something I see in almost every coaching conversation I have.
00:02:42.230 --> 00:02:45.269
It's called the identity you keep rehearsing.
00:02:45.509 --> 00:02:49.350
And here's the core message I want you to sit with for a second.
00:02:49.590 --> 00:02:54.949
You see, you don't become your future self simply because you want a different life.
00:02:55.269 --> 00:03:01.430
You become that person by repeatedly thinking, speaking, and acting from a new identity.
00:03:01.910 --> 00:03:03.589
Wanting is beautiful.
00:03:03.910 --> 00:03:05.750
Wanting is where it starts.
00:03:05.990 --> 00:03:08.949
But wanting alone doesn't change who you are.
00:03:09.189 --> 00:03:10.709
Rehearsal does.
00:03:10.949 --> 00:03:13.589
So in the next half hour, here's where we're going.
00:03:13.829 --> 00:03:20.629
First, we'll talk about how your imagination is always rehearsing something even when you don't realize it.
00:03:20.870 --> 00:03:25.589
Then we'll name four unconscious rehearsals I see people practice every day.
00:03:25.750 --> 00:03:28.870
I'm sure you'll find or recognize at least one.
00:03:29.110 --> 00:03:33.509
After that, we'll talk about how identity is actually built.
00:03:33.670 --> 00:03:40.790
And then, the part I'm most excited about, I'll give you a simple seven-day practice called the identity rehearsal.
00:03:40.949 --> 00:03:42.470
You can start tonight.
00:03:42.709 --> 00:03:46.949
So grab a pen and a pad, and if you're ready, let's begin.
00:03:50.949 --> 00:03:55.750
Hello and welcome to another empowering episode of Transformative Living Radio.
00:03:55.910 --> 00:04:00.310
I'm Andre Flax, your host and certified life and leadership coach.
00:04:00.709 --> 00:04:07.269
Let me start with something that might sound obvious, but I don't think we take it really seriously enough.
00:04:07.670 --> 00:04:11.750
And that is this your imagination never takes a day off.
00:04:12.310 --> 00:04:15.189
When you're lying in the bed at night, it's working.
00:04:15.430 --> 00:04:17.750
When you're driving to work, it's working.
00:04:17.990 --> 00:04:26.310
When you're in the shower, when you're scrolling on your phone, when you're sitting in a meeting pretending to take notes, your mind is running scenes.
00:04:26.870 --> 00:04:34.310
Now, some of those scenes are memories, some are predictions, and a whole lot of them are rehearsals.
00:04:34.629 --> 00:04:38.069
Think about the last time you had a hard conversation come up.
00:04:38.790 --> 00:04:44.949
Maybe you needed to ask your boss for a raise, or maybe you had to tell a friend something they didn't want to hear.
00:04:45.269 --> 00:04:48.230
What did you do in the days leading up to it?
00:04:48.550 --> 00:04:54.230
Well, if you're like most people, you ran that conversation in your head over and over.
00:04:54.709 --> 00:04:59.910
You said your part, you imagined their reaction, you imagine your comeback.
00:05:00.230 --> 00:05:03.750
You even imagine the conversation going sideways.
00:05:03.910 --> 00:05:11.350
And by the time the real conversation came around, you had already lived it maybe 10, 20, or 30 times.
00:05:11.590 --> 00:05:13.110
That's rehearsal.
00:05:13.430 --> 00:05:21.910
Athletes have understood this for a long time, and the best of them don't just practice with their bodies, they practice with their minds.
00:05:22.150 --> 00:05:27.670
A sprinter sees the start, feels to push off the block, and hears the crowd.
00:05:27.910 --> 00:05:33.350
A three-point shooter pictures the ball leaving their fingertips and dropping through the net.
00:05:33.910 --> 00:05:42.069
Coaches and researchers have talked for decades about how mental rehearsal helps prepare the brain and the body for real performance.
00:05:42.710 --> 00:05:44.150
Why does that work?
00:05:44.470 --> 00:05:49.509
Well, because your mind treats a vivid imagined experience as practice.
00:05:49.750 --> 00:05:52.150
It builds those neural pathways.
00:05:52.310 --> 00:05:55.830
It says, Oh, this is how we're doing things.
00:05:56.069 --> 00:05:57.430
This is who we are.
00:05:57.750 --> 00:06:01.750
Now, here's the uncomfortable truth, and I say this with so much love.
00:06:02.230 --> 00:06:07.750
If mental rehearsal can train an athlete to win, it can also train you to lose.
00:06:08.310 --> 00:06:12.790
You see, your imagination doesn't check whether the scene you're running is helpful.
00:06:12.949 --> 00:06:14.390
It just practices.
00:06:14.629 --> 00:06:19.430
It'll rehearse your comeback story just as faithful as your breakdown story.
00:06:19.670 --> 00:06:25.030
It'll rehearse your future self or your past self with the exact same dedication.
00:06:25.270 --> 00:06:29.030
The question is, which one have you been giving it to rehearse?
00:06:29.350 --> 00:06:36.629
Now, over the years, I've noticed that most of the unhelpful rehearsals people run fall into four categories.
00:06:36.870 --> 00:06:42.870
Now, as I walk through each one, just notice without judging yourself which one feels familiar.
00:06:43.189 --> 00:06:46.629
Rehearsal one is anticipating rejection.
00:06:47.030 --> 00:06:51.910
This is the person who already hears no before they even ask the question.
00:06:52.150 --> 00:06:57.509
I remember working with a woman who had a business idea that she sat on for three years.
00:06:58.470 --> 00:07:07.350
Every time she thought to pitch the idea to a potential partner, she'd picture the meeting, and in her head, the scene was always the same.
00:07:07.750 --> 00:07:19.430
She'd start talking, she'd see the other person glance at their watch, she see the polite smile, she'd hear, this is interesting, but and here was the most difficult part.
00:07:20.069 --> 00:07:21.990
She never actually pitched it.
00:07:22.310 --> 00:07:23.189
Not once.
00:07:24.390 --> 00:07:31.270
You see, she'd been rejected a hundred times, and every one of those rejections happened in her imagination.
00:07:31.910 --> 00:07:35.509
When I asked her, How many times have you rehearsed that no?
00:07:35.750 --> 00:07:40.949
She laughed and said to me, Honestly, probably every week for three years.
00:07:41.509 --> 00:07:45.670
Now that's over 350 rehearsals of being turned down.
00:07:45.910 --> 00:07:48.390
Now, of course, she couldn't feel ready.
00:07:48.790 --> 00:07:51.350
She had already been trained for rejection.
00:07:51.910 --> 00:07:54.629
Now the second one is replaying failure.
00:07:55.189 --> 00:07:58.150
This isn't about the future, it's about the past.
00:07:58.390 --> 00:08:04.150
It's the mind that keeps going back to the moment it went wrong and pressing play.
00:08:04.949 --> 00:08:14.710
It's the presentation where you went blank, the relationship that ended, the business that didn't make it, or it's the thing you said that you wish you could take back.
00:08:15.509 --> 00:08:19.350
Now don't get me wrong, reflecting on the past can be healthy.
00:08:19.990 --> 00:08:21.189
We can learn from it.
00:08:21.670 --> 00:08:25.750
But there's a difference between reviewing a moment and reliving it.
00:08:26.310 --> 00:08:28.790
Reviewing asks, what can I learn?
00:08:29.430 --> 00:08:31.990
Reliving just keeps hitting replay.
00:08:32.230 --> 00:08:34.789
And every replay deepens the groove.
00:08:35.029 --> 00:08:42.870
You see, every time you replay the failure, you're not just remembering who you were, you're practicing being that person again.
00:08:43.029 --> 00:08:48.149
You're rehearsing an old identity and calling it being realistic.
00:08:48.389 --> 00:08:52.470
Now the third one is sneaky, it's expecting disappointment.
00:08:52.710 --> 00:08:56.949
This is the person who says, quote, I just don't want to get my hopes up.
00:08:57.269 --> 00:09:03.509
Now I have to be honest, I used to say this one a lot because it felt safe, it felt mature.
00:09:03.750 --> 00:09:07.909
I thought if I didn't expect much, I couldn't be let down, right?
00:09:08.789 --> 00:09:15.350
But here's what I eventually realized expecting disappointment doesn't protect you from pain.
00:09:15.509 --> 00:09:22.549
It just makes you pay for pain in advance, and sometimes pay again if it actually happens.
00:09:23.429 --> 00:09:27.110
Even worse, it quietly shapes how you show up.
00:09:27.909 --> 00:09:32.309
When you expect something to fall apart, you don't give yourself fully.
00:09:32.629 --> 00:09:34.069
You hold back a little.
00:09:34.229 --> 00:09:38.229
And when it doesn't work out, your mind says, See, I knew it.
00:09:38.469 --> 00:09:43.189
Now that's not prediction, that's a rehearsal that became performance.
00:09:43.829 --> 00:09:47.589
Now the fourth one is preparing for problems that haven't happened.
00:09:48.149 --> 00:09:49.750
You see, planning is good.
00:09:49.990 --> 00:09:51.750
Wisdom always looks ahead.
00:09:51.909 --> 00:09:54.789
But there's a difference between planning and bracing.
00:09:55.110 --> 00:09:58.469
Planning says, here's what I'll do if this comes up.
00:09:58.789 --> 00:10:06.789
Bracing says, I'm going to live in the tension of this possibility every single day until either it happens or it doesn't.
00:10:07.029 --> 00:10:10.789
I remember coaching a man who ran a very successful team.
00:10:11.029 --> 00:10:12.469
He was a great leader.
00:10:12.709 --> 00:10:17.909
But every Sunday night he lie awake running through every way the week could go wrong.
00:10:18.149 --> 00:10:22.949
The client who might cancel, the employee who might quit, the numbers that might get.
00:10:23.589 --> 00:10:28.629
By Monday morning, he had already lived through five crises that never came.
00:10:28.949 --> 00:10:34.149
He told me, I thought by being prepared would make me a great leader.
00:10:34.469 --> 00:10:37.669
I asked him, What does that make you feel like?
00:10:37.990 --> 00:10:44.870
He was quiet for a second, and then he said, Tired, and kind of like I'm always waiting to lose.
00:10:45.189 --> 00:10:46.549
And that's the cost.
00:10:46.949 --> 00:10:54.389
You see, when you rehearse problems that haven't happened yet, you're rehearsing a version of yourself who's always under threat.
00:10:54.549 --> 00:11:00.949
And that version of yourself shows up in your meetings, in your marriage, and at your dinner table.
00:11:01.349 --> 00:11:12.789
So let's review again the four mental rehearsals anticipating rejection, replaying failure, expecting disappointment, and preparing for problems that haven't happened.
00:11:13.269 --> 00:11:17.589
Now, if you saw yourself in one of those or all four, there's no shame.
00:11:17.829 --> 00:11:18.789
I've been there.
00:11:19.110 --> 00:11:20.709
But I want you to hear me.
00:11:21.349 --> 00:11:23.909
It doesn't mean that something is wrong with you.
00:11:24.149 --> 00:11:26.709
It means that your imagination is working.
00:11:26.870 --> 00:11:28.069
It's powerful.
00:11:28.309 --> 00:11:31.750
It's been faithfully rehearsing whatever you've been handing it.
00:11:31.909 --> 00:11:33.509
And that's the good news.
00:11:33.829 --> 00:11:38.870
Because if it can rehearse those scenes, it can rehearse new ones now.
00:11:39.110 --> 00:11:43.029
When we come back, I want to talk about how change really happens.
00:11:43.189 --> 00:11:44.549
We'll be right back.
00:11:48.309 --> 00:11:51.909
Are you ready to take your life and your career to the next level?
00:11:52.229 --> 00:11:59.189
Andre Flax is a John Maxwell leadership certified coach who is committed to helping you turn your dreams into reality.
00:11:59.429 --> 00:12:07.029
With proven effective self-development principles, Andre will help you put a plan in place that grows you steadily toward your goal.
00:12:07.349 --> 00:12:14.469
Contact Andre for a complimentary coaching session by emailing him at Andre at Transformative LivingRadio.com.
00:12:19.990 --> 00:12:20.949
Welcome back.
00:12:21.189 --> 00:12:23.829
So let's talk about how change really happens.
00:12:24.069 --> 00:12:27.829
Now, a lot of us try to change our lives by changing our goals.
00:12:27.990 --> 00:12:35.669
We say things like, This year I'm going to get healthy, or this year I'm going to start that business, or this year I'm going to be more confident.
00:12:35.909 --> 00:12:41.669
Now, those are great goals, but here's what I've learned after years of walking alongside of people.
00:12:42.069 --> 00:12:47.189
Goals don't change you, identity changes you and your goals follow.
00:12:47.750 --> 00:12:51.429
Think about it this way: two people are offered a cigarette.
00:12:51.589 --> 00:12:54.309
One says, No thanks, I'm trying to quit.
00:12:54.549 --> 00:12:57.269
The other says, No thanks, I don't smoke.
00:12:57.509 --> 00:13:00.309
Same answer, completely different identity.
00:13:00.549 --> 00:13:04.229
The first person is still a smoker who's resisting.
00:13:04.469 --> 00:13:07.029
The second has become someone new.
00:13:07.509 --> 00:13:09.589
So how do you become someone new?
00:13:09.990 --> 00:13:13.589
Not by wanting it harder, by rehearsing it.
00:13:13.829 --> 00:13:16.949
And that rehearsal happens in three places.
00:13:17.669 --> 00:13:23.110
First, it happens in what you think, the scenes you let your imagination play.
00:13:23.349 --> 00:13:29.589
When you catch yourself running the old movie, the rejection, the failure, the disappointment, you have a choice.
00:13:29.750 --> 00:13:33.589
You can let it play or you can gently change the channel.
00:13:33.829 --> 00:13:39.750
Not by pretending, not by forcing positivity, but by asking a question.
00:13:39.990 --> 00:13:43.349
What would my future self be picturing right now?
00:13:43.750 --> 00:13:49.909
If your future self is confident, what do you see when you imagine walking in a new environment?
00:13:50.229 --> 00:13:56.549
If your future self is a calm, grounded leader, what does he picture on Sunday night?
00:13:56.789 --> 00:14:01.589
Second, it happens in what you say to yourself and out loud.
00:14:01.829 --> 00:14:04.309
You see, your words are rehearsal lines.
00:14:04.549 --> 00:14:09.349
When you say I'm just not good with money, you're practicing that script.
00:14:09.589 --> 00:14:15.349
When you say I always mess things up, you're running lines for a role you don't even want.
00:14:15.589 --> 00:14:18.469
Now I'm not asking you to lie to yourself.
00:14:18.629 --> 00:14:24.789
If you're not great with money today, I'm not going to ask you to say, I'm a financial genius.
00:14:24.949 --> 00:14:25.990
That won't stick.
00:14:26.229 --> 00:14:28.069
Your mind will argue with you.
00:14:28.309 --> 00:14:32.870
But you can say I'm becoming someone who handles money with wisdom.
00:14:33.110 --> 00:14:37.429
You can also say I'm learning to trust myself in hard conversations.
00:14:37.829 --> 00:14:40.549
Those words are true and they point forward.
00:14:40.709 --> 00:14:43.029
They're lines from a new script.
00:14:43.589 --> 00:14:46.149
And the third, the one that seals it.
00:14:46.469 --> 00:14:48.549
It happens in what you do.
00:14:48.870 --> 00:14:53.349
You see, every action is a vote for the kind of person you believe you are.
00:14:53.589 --> 00:14:55.429
Now you don't need a landslide.
00:14:55.589 --> 00:14:57.750
You just need to keep casting votes.
00:14:58.469 --> 00:15:01.669
Do you remember the woman I told you about with the business pitch?
00:15:02.229 --> 00:15:06.789
When she finally decided to shift, we didn't start with a big meeting.
00:15:07.029 --> 00:15:09.429
We started with one simple action.
00:15:09.669 --> 00:15:14.949
She sent a two-line email to one person asking for 15 minutes of feedback.
00:15:15.110 --> 00:15:15.829
That's it.
00:15:16.309 --> 00:15:18.629
And do you know what she told me afterwards?
00:15:18.870 --> 00:15:22.549
She said, quote, the email wasn't the big idea.
00:15:22.870 --> 00:15:29.669
The big idea was that for the first time in three years, I did something that my future self would have done.
00:15:29.909 --> 00:15:31.429
And that's the whole thing.
00:15:31.829 --> 00:15:35.669
You don't wait to feel like the new person before you act like them.
00:15:35.829 --> 00:15:38.949
You act like them and the feelings catch up.
00:15:39.349 --> 00:15:41.509
Well, how does change actually happen?
00:15:42.389 --> 00:15:46.469
You think it, you speak it, you do it over and over again.
00:15:46.709 --> 00:15:49.429
That's how a new identity gets built.
00:15:49.669 --> 00:15:57.990
Not in one breakthrough moment, and those are wonderful, but in a thousand small rehearsals that slowly become who you are.
00:15:58.229 --> 00:16:04.229
Just like the actor we talked about in the beginning, he didn't become the bitter man in one night.
00:16:04.549 --> 00:16:06.789
He became him through repetition.
00:16:07.269 --> 00:16:14.069
And the same principle that pulled him into the character he didn't want can pull you into the life you do.
00:16:14.789 --> 00:16:19.269
Now, when we come back, I want to get into the seven-day identity rehearsal.
00:16:19.429 --> 00:16:20.709
We'll be right back.
00:16:22.069 --> 00:16:23.269
Hello, listeners.
00:16:23.429 --> 00:16:26.549
Are you ready to create the life you've always dreamed of?
00:16:26.789 --> 00:16:34.789
Well, I'm offering a free coaching session to help you break through the barriers holding you back and start making real progress towards your goals.
00:16:35.029 --> 00:16:44.149
Whether you're seeking clarity, motivation, or a fresh perspective, this session will give you the tools and insights you need to take the next step.
00:16:44.389 --> 00:16:49.750
To sign up for your complimentary coaching session, click the link in this episode's show notes.
00:16:49.990 --> 00:16:52.870
The greatest investment you can make is in yourself.
00:16:53.029 --> 00:16:54.309
Let's make it together.
00:16:54.549 --> 00:16:57.269
Sign up today to start your journey to success.
00:16:57.429 --> 00:16:59.189
You'll be glad that you did.
00:17:01.509 --> 00:17:04.710
Are you ready to take your life and career to the next level?
00:17:05.029 --> 00:17:11.750
Andre Flax is a Maxwell Leadership Certified Coach who is committed to helping you turn your dreams into a reality.
00:17:11.990 --> 00:17:19.509
With proven effective self-development principles, Andre will help you put a plan in place that grows you steadily toward your goal.
00:17:19.829 --> 00:17:25.910
Email Andre to schedule your complimentary session at Andre at Transformative LivingRadio.com.
00:17:35.190 --> 00:17:36.230
Welcome back.
00:17:36.549 --> 00:17:38.390
So let's make this practical.
00:17:38.630 --> 00:17:41.990
I don't want you to leave this episode inspired but stuck.
00:17:42.230 --> 00:17:45.190
I want you to leave it with something you can do tonight.
00:17:45.509 --> 00:17:48.789
I call it the seven-day identity rehearsal.
00:17:48.950 --> 00:17:50.950
And it's simple on purpose.
00:17:51.190 --> 00:17:58.070
Each day you do three things one statement, one mental scene, and one aligned action.
00:17:58.230 --> 00:18:01.430
It takes about ten minutes, and here's how it works.
00:18:01.670 --> 00:18:04.310
Step zero, name the role.
00:18:04.630 --> 00:18:08.870
Before day one, take five minutes and answer one question.
00:18:09.110 --> 00:18:10.630
Who am I becoming?
00:18:10.789 --> 00:18:14.390
Not what do I want, but who am I becoming?
00:18:14.710 --> 00:18:17.590
Write it as a person and not a goal.
00:18:17.990 --> 00:18:26.070
So instead of writing, I want to grow my business, you might write, I'm becoming someone who shares my ideas boldly.
00:18:26.630 --> 00:18:34.630
Instead of I want to be less anxious at work, you might write, I'm becoming a calm, clear leader who trusts himself.
00:18:34.870 --> 00:18:35.830
That's your role.
00:18:35.990 --> 00:18:38.870
That's who you'll be rehearsing for the next seven days.
00:18:39.190 --> 00:18:44.070
Step one, every morning, write one statement from that new identity.
00:18:44.310 --> 00:18:48.070
Make it true enough to believe, but bold enough to stretch you.
00:18:48.310 --> 00:18:52.470
Start with I am becoming or I am someone who.
00:18:52.789 --> 00:18:54.470
Let me give you an example.
00:18:54.710 --> 00:18:58.789
I am someone who speaks up when I have something valuable to say.
00:18:59.110 --> 00:19:02.150
Now, in practicing it, you want to say it loud.
00:19:02.310 --> 00:19:02.789
That's right.
00:19:02.950 --> 00:19:04.310
Say it out loud.
00:19:04.550 --> 00:19:08.230
It might feel a little silly at first, that's okay.
00:19:08.470 --> 00:19:11.750
Actors feel silly at the first read-through, too.
00:19:12.150 --> 00:19:16.470
Let's move on to step number two, which is creating one mental scene.
00:19:16.710 --> 00:19:24.550
Take two or three minutes, close your eyes, and run one short scene from your day played by your future self.
00:19:24.789 --> 00:19:27.190
Pick something that's actually on your calendar.
00:19:27.430 --> 00:19:31.350
Maybe a meeting, a conversation, a workout, or picking up the kids.
00:19:31.509 --> 00:19:34.390
Now see it the way the new you would handle it.
00:19:35.190 --> 00:19:37.110
What does your posture look like?
00:19:37.670 --> 00:19:39.670
What tone of voice do you use?
00:19:40.230 --> 00:19:43.430
How do you respond when something unexpected happens?
00:19:43.670 --> 00:19:46.390
Make it specific, make it ordinary.
00:19:46.950 --> 00:19:49.590
You're imagining being you upgraded.
00:19:50.310 --> 00:19:54.390
Now, this is the exact opposite of those four unconscious rehearsals.
00:19:54.630 --> 00:19:58.710
Instead of bracing for rejection, you're rehearsing how you show up.
00:19:58.950 --> 00:20:02.710
Instead of replaying failure, you're pre-playing growth.
00:20:03.190 --> 00:20:08.950
Finally, step number three is to take one small action today that your future self would take.
00:20:09.269 --> 00:20:11.110
Now, small is the point.
00:20:11.430 --> 00:20:20.710
Send the email, ask the question in the meeting, go for that 10-minute walk, put$50 into savings, say no to one thing that's draining you.
00:20:20.870 --> 00:20:25.830
And then, and please don't skip this, at the end of the day, write one sentence.
00:20:26.150 --> 00:20:31.190
Today I act like the person I'm becoming when I am finish the sentence.
00:20:31.430 --> 00:20:38.710
That sentence is your evidence, and evidence is what convinces your mind that this new identity is real.
00:20:39.110 --> 00:20:42.870
Now you're probably wondering what the seven days might look like.
00:20:43.110 --> 00:20:45.190
So let me paint the week for you.
00:20:45.509 --> 00:20:48.950
Days one and two will probably feel awkward, and that's normal.
00:20:49.029 --> 00:20:50.550
You're learning new lines.
00:20:50.789 --> 00:20:56.870
Days three and four, you're likely to notice that the old rehearsals are trying to sneak back in.
00:20:57.110 --> 00:20:58.470
And that's your cue.
00:20:58.630 --> 00:21:04.070
It's not your cue to beat yourself up, but to notice and gently turn your scene.
00:21:05.029 --> 00:21:08.310
Days five and six, something starts to shift.
00:21:08.470 --> 00:21:12.789
The statement feels less foreign, the actions feel more natural.
00:21:13.110 --> 00:21:25.029
On day seven, read back through all seven evidence sentences and ask yourself, does this sound like someone who's wanting a new life or someone who's already living it?
00:21:25.269 --> 00:21:27.990
Now, just a quick note because this will happen.
00:21:28.230 --> 00:21:30.870
If you miss a day, you haven't failed.
00:21:31.029 --> 00:21:32.550
Just pick it back up.
00:21:33.110 --> 00:21:35.990
Actors miss lines in rehearsals all the time.
00:21:36.150 --> 00:21:38.070
That's why it's called rehearsal.
00:21:38.310 --> 00:21:42.950
Remember, you're not performing perfection, you're practicing identity.
00:21:43.269 --> 00:21:46.230
So let's bring this full circle back to the actor.
00:21:46.470 --> 00:21:51.110
The actor rehearsed a role so many times that it followed him home.
00:21:51.350 --> 00:21:56.070
Now that story can feel like a warning and it is, but it's also a promise.
00:21:56.310 --> 00:22:05.990
Because if repetition can pull a person into a character they never meant to become, then repetition can also carry you into a person you were always meant to be.
00:22:06.310 --> 00:22:09.830
You see, your imagination is going to rehearse something today.
00:22:10.070 --> 00:22:13.509
It's going to rehearse something tonight when your head hits the pillow.
00:22:13.670 --> 00:22:18.230
And it's going to rehearse something tomorrow morning before you even have your coffee.
00:22:18.470 --> 00:22:22.789
But here's the thing: you get to decide what it works on.
00:22:23.110 --> 00:22:25.910
So here's the question I want to leave you with.
00:22:26.150 --> 00:22:27.269
Write it down.
00:22:27.430 --> 00:22:29.029
Put it on a sticky note.
00:22:29.190 --> 00:22:30.789
Stick it on your mirror.
00:22:31.509 --> 00:22:36.150
What identity am I strengthening through what I repeatedly rehearse?
00:22:36.630 --> 00:22:39.830
Not what you want, not what you hope for.
00:22:40.150 --> 00:22:41.750
What are you practicing?
00:22:41.990 --> 00:22:46.390
And if the honest answer isn't one that you choose, that's okay.
00:22:46.630 --> 00:22:50.230
Tonight is a perfectly good night to start a new rehearsal.
00:22:50.470 --> 00:22:53.590
So start the seven-day identity rehearsal.
00:22:53.830 --> 00:22:57.750
One statement, one mental state, one aligned act.
00:22:57.910 --> 00:22:59.990
Every day for seven days.
00:23:01.269 --> 00:23:03.029
Well, that's our show for today.
00:23:03.190 --> 00:23:07.190
We hope that you found this episode both insightful and inspiring.
00:23:07.350 --> 00:23:14.070
Join us each week for practical tips, actionable insights, and inspiring stories to help you transform your life.
00:23:14.310 --> 00:23:15.670
We hope you can join us.
00:23:15.830 --> 00:23:17.350
We'll see you soon.
00:23:18.150 --> 00:23:26.390
To experience a free coaching session with Andre Flax, click the link in the show notes or contact him at Andre at Transformative Living Radio.com.
00:23:26.630 --> 00:23:31.830
If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a comment wherever you get your podcasts and subscribe.