017 - Extracurriculars: balancing busyness, church and community connections. With Anthony Penn.

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This file was generated by Descript
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ZOOM0025_Tr2: there's so many things to
enjoy in this life so it's a question of
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balance Sometimes the balance goes too
far we have a lot on but it's something
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that I'm really to continue working
on with our, kids and, set them up for
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a life where they do have a, balance
of life and fun that is mixed through
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with their Christian walk throughout
All that they do and not separated
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This is Timeless Parenting where
we have real conversations across
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the generations exploring God's
wisdom for modern families.
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Brought to you by growing faith
in Mother's Union, Sydney.
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ZOOM0025_Tr1: well, welcome everybody to
another episode of the Timeless Parenting
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Podcast we are gonna tackle today a
great topic, a topic I've agonized over
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quite a lot in our own family life.
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We are going to be talking about
extracurricular activities, the
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things apart from school that our
children might wanna get involved in.
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So just to introduce the topic
a little bit before we start and
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before we introduce our guests today.
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When it comes to extracurriculars, I think
we all want good things for our children.
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We want them to have a rounded education.
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We want them to enjoy sport,
physical activity, uh, we want
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them perhaps to learn music.
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Um, we want them to be involved in these
kind of extracurricular activities.
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But at the same time, I look around
and see other families that I know.
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It seems to go to an extreme where
they seem to have something on every
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afternoon after school and they're
running from one thing to the next.
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I see them not having much family time.
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I wonder how they can manage to
pay for all these activities.
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Um, and so we can be sort of,
worried when we see the extremes.
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Uh, and so I think, it's about
balance really, and for Christians,
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then we've got the issue of church.
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We think, well, we don't really
want church just to be another
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extracurricular activity that we're
trying to squeeze into the week.
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So that is the dilemma and the topic
that we're gonna be addressing today.
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How do we find a balance between
all these good things and not
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take any one thing to an extreme?
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So, uh, my name is Harriet Connor, as you
know, I'm the content editor of Growing
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Faith and Online Christian Parenting
Magazine run by YouthWorks Media.
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And we have four sons.
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So when it comes to extracurriculars,
I've been particularly hesitant 'cause
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I've imagined us racing around here,
there and everywhere on the weekends.
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Um.
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It's funny when you see those
cars and it says, mom's taxi,
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I don't wanna be that mom.
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I don't wanna be a taxi.
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So we've been very hesitant.
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We haven't let our sons
do any organized sport.
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Um, outside of school they do, um, music
within school hours and with their school.
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They've also done, um, some drama.
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Been involved in musicals,
plays, that kind of thing.
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Um, and they do do one thing which
they, uh, up until recently, the older
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three have all done the same activity.
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Cadets, little shout out to
the Australian Cadet Corps.
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They've done that at the same
place at the same time every week.
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At the end of our street.
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So I've been more on the hesitant side
and from getting to know our guest
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today, I have gained a much bigger
perspective on the value and the beauty of
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extracurriculars, not just for the kids.
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So we're here more about that.
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So I'm here today with my co-host, Anne
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ZOOM0025_Tr2: Hi everybody So I'm Anne
Cunningham and I am from Mother's Union
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Sydney Mother's Union Sydney is is
passionate about supporting families uh
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and children And as I talk to families
in my role The balance word frequently
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something that is issue for people Um how
do we juggle all the things that we need
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to do For me I've got three daughters
who are now adults Uh one doesn't live
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home and I still find there's a bit of
a balance between all of our different
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commitments in order to be able to spend
time together to be able to the things
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that we think are really important
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ZOOM0025_Tr3: But
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ZOOM0025_Tr2: Lots of other things get
in the road So I think the for balance
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stays with you regardless of how old
your children are or what your family
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looks like Today we have a friend of mine
actually so Anthony and his wife Michelle
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and their children attend the church uh
that I also attend And have had I would
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to say the privilege of watching Anthony
and Michelle raise their four children
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and just look at how this balance of
extracurricular activities Still be an
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part of our church family So Anthony
welcome Thank you for spending some time
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chatting with us today Maybe you start
just by sharing a little bit about your
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family and what this balance activity
looks like for you Bit of an overview
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Thanks Anne Thank you, Harriet.
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It's great to be here today.
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Uh, my background is I've been
attending the same church as
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Anne for the last 25 years.
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In the northern suburbs of Sydney
and yeah, we have four kids.
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I have a
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Wonderful wife, Michelle, who is
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midwife and um does a few different jobs
So she has I think four different jobs
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that she works and at the moment we have
four kids uh ranging from 13 to 17 years
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old Um we had two thought we'd go for
an extra got a bonus and now we became
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that that family that has four kids
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ZOOM0025_Tr1: um, we
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ZOOM0025_Tr2: Heavily involved in lots of
things When I was asking my daughter about
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this last night she said her friends say
she's the, busiest person they know, Um
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they do a lot of stuff And I asked them
do we do too much I said no we'd be bored
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ZOOM0025_Tr3: Um
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ZOOM0025_Tr2: There's there's so many
things to enjoy in this life Um so
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it's a question of balance Sometimes
the balance goes too far we have a
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lot on um and sometimes It calms down
a little bit and we start looking
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for more things to do but it's it's
definitely something that I'm really to
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continue working on with our, kids and,
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set them up for a life um where
they do have a, balance of life and
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fun um that is mixed through with
their Christian walk Um throughout
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All that they do and not separated
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I think is
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a key for me
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Speaker: As we were thinking about this
topic, I do wanna say we we're not a
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family that has it all together and it is
a matter of trial and error and probably
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as many errors as there are successes.
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Um, but with, you know, faithful
attempting more and more and, and looking
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hopefully towards, um, forgiveness
in Christ, Jesus for when we make
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mistakes, um, we keep having a crack.
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And I think that's a really important
thing to remember as parents, we're
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all learning, so you don't often
get the opportunity to parent twice.
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ZOOM0025_Tr1: Yeah well we're looking
forward to chatting So the first thing
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it'd be good to talk about is what
is the value of these extracurricular
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activities Why are they good things And
as we were preparing this episode um in
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talking to Anthony I realized we're not
just talking about Things that we take
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our kids to activities that we drop our
children off at because a lot of these
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extracurriculars are actually run by
community organizations and it's not just
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a service And we drop our kids off and
pick them up again And so we're actually
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gonna talk about the value not just
of doing the thing the extracurricular
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activity but also the value of being part
of the whole Organization that runs that
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activity and perhaps even other community
organizations So let's have a think about
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what is the value here Why Anthony do you
think it's really important to be involved
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in these organizations and and clubs
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ZOOM0025_Tr2: I think I learned a
key example here from Anne shared
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this story with me years ago um
about a controversial vote that was
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happening at the local school PNC
uh which the Christian community.
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was not overly happy about So the
Christians all turned up in force to the
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PNC meeting um ready to vote this this
motion down and to be informed that oh
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no you need to be nominated at your first
meeting You can vote at the second meeting
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ZOOM0025_Tr1: Oh
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ZOOM0025_Tr2: Um and because they
weren't involved they couldn't just come
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in and muscle in And so we need this
we're you know, we are gonna rally the
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troops Um, because they had no history
and, we took that lesson to heart and
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so we've tried to always influence
from the inside of any organizations
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we're part of um and support those
organizations it drives me nuts When I see
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ZOOM0025_Tr1: uh
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ZOOM0025_Tr2: uh someone professing to
be a Christian drop their kids off um and
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leave and contribute nothing when there's
other volunteers pouring their heart and
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soul into these organizations to make them
work so we made a decision that we wanted
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to be part of the organizations and and
support them and and share faith in that
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ZOOM0025_Tr1: way
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Mm-hmm So what are some examples
What sort of um clubs and
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organizations have you been part of so
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ZOOM0025_Tr2: So school PNC was was one
um that was more my wife She just has
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been heavily involved in that Um little
athletics football clubs Um I think
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this is the first year in a long time
that not coaching a winter sport Um So
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our local soccer club Then volunteering
helping out with the barbecue or whatever
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at the a FL club well Um And then
being there for band and other things
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ZOOM0025_Tr1: Um
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ZOOM0025_Tr2: um when needed So not not
taking over um but just contributing
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And the ripple effect of that is enormous
I think because are there and your
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children see So children see what looks
like to be engaged contributing member
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of a community And they also see you
doing that as a Christian So they see
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those um of the spirit being displayed
as you that community So it children but
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it also builds relationships like real
relationships with the other people in
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your community because you're working
alongside them shared interest whether
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it's band or something happening the
school or you know the little athletics
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a shared interest That that you Get
know person and then you get to take the
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opportunity to who you are as a Christian
You know what it means Yeah So the impact
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of being an active member is good for your
kids but also so good for you as an adult
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Mm-hmm
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ZOOM0025_Tr1: So some of these activities
then you've done as a whole family
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like the whole family's sort of been
committed and involved say little
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athletics you're probably all in the
same place at the same time is that right
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ZOOM0025_Tr2: Yeah that was
a self-preservation decision
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ZOOM0025_Tr1: uh where
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ZOOM0025_Tr2: Friday nights our our
kids can all be in one place Uh it
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makes it a lot easier Saturdays are
a lot harder They're all on different
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teams in different directions and
we have to rely the community um and
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you know various people giving lifts
to people and shipping kids around
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ZOOM0025_Tr1: Mm-hmm Yep
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ZOOM0025_Tr2: But yeah we we have
made the decision particularly
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little athletics has been good for
us Um to be in one place one time
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ZOOM0025_Tr1: time
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ZOOM0025_Tr2: And able to focus on
on kids and part of that community
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ZOOM0025_Tr1: Because then in a way
it's not detracting from family time
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it's actually building into family time
It's a shared experience that you can
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talk about and um encourage each other
with When you're all there together
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ZOOM0025_Tr2: Mm-hmm
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Yeah
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ZOOM0025_Tr1: So I guess as you
participate in these organizations you're
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trying to encourage your kids and model
to your kids how to do this in a Christian
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way I mean what are there some sort of
um particular values or attitudes that
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you find yourself coming back to with
the kids What does that look like to be a
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Christian volunteer in these organizations
Um what are the some of the things
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you're trying to encourage your kids in
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ZOOM0025_Tr2: Yeah I think there's
definitely a as we're talking
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about balance in in what we do as
a as a football coach I think I'm
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quite a good coach at um getting
kids engaged getting to enjoy the
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game I'm not very good at winning
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ZOOM0025_Tr1: Yeah I don't know
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ZOOM0025_Tr2: and don't know whether
that's you know my coaching lack but um
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I I very much will rate my season on how
many kids come back next year enjoyed the
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season rather than whether we won a trophy
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ZOOM0025_Tr1: And
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ZOOM0025_Tr2: I think having that
discussion with the kids as well around
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what is important and what's not And of
course we'll play hard we'll do our very
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best and we'll work hard but it's not the
be all and end all That discussion with
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the kids, has been really good as they've
had different coaches through the years
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that have had different areas of focus
and they give their feedback as to whether
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they're enjoying the game or not and
saying well how would you change That has
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been really good with the kids I think for
me one of the, other parts is to encourage
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the kids to take on responsibility for
themselves to be their own advocate
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ZOOM0025_Tr3: Um
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ZOOM0025_Tr2: So if they have a
problem with band or got question
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about little athletics they can ask the
00:14:07.469 --> 00:14:07.889
question
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ZOOM0025_Tr1: They
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ZOOM0025_Tr2: to the adult and interact
with the adult and ask the question Um
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ZOOM0025_Tr1: even though
you might be there there you
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wanna
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ZOOM0025_Tr2: fight their battles For them
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It's
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been
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ZOOM0025_Tr3: you know
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ZOOM0025_Tr2: and yeah it will help
them prep We'll help them if it's
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really difficult we'll help them plan
Um we don't always succeed in that but
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We
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ZOOM0025_Tr1: try
00:14:27.964 --> 00:14:28.044
to
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Yeah Well that's a really great
perspective on becoming part of a
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community organization as a Christian
supporting it and caring for other
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people's children uh and just being there
as a a faithful volunteer What are some
00:14:42.679 --> 00:14:46.939
other reasons why we might let our kids
do extracurricular activities There's
00:14:46.939 --> 00:14:50.929
so many out there they're probably all
good whether it's debating or chess or
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dance all sorts of things like why And
have you uh encouraged your daughters
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to Get involved in some of these things
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ZOOM0025_Tr2: Well partly it's sometimes
it's interest They want to do that
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particular activity Sometimes it's been
something that I've encouraged them to
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have a go at Um uh so encourage them
all to have a go at music Um only one of
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them has stuck with that Um we come from
a sporty family so sport's been key and
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so I've sort of gone with their interest
you go with their interest Again the
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balance comes into So as a had to pick
things that fit our family structure uh
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but that's one aspect The other think
into what you were Anthony you know how
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do we do what it is we're doing So I've
been for of the the girls manager for
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the netball team Um never having played
game of netball in my life Um but I
00:15:51.954 --> 00:15:59.784
could manage team As I talked my girls as
was you know again tapping into are you
00:15:59.784 --> 00:16:06.114
enjoying it you supporting your teammates
when lose Do you graciously when you win
00:16:06.114 --> 00:16:12.054
Do you you know applaud the other team
coach the umpire you don't like are you
00:16:12.054 --> 00:16:17.604
respectful Um so those sort of character
traits building that what they're
00:16:17.604 --> 00:16:19.914
doing has been really important yeah
00:16:21.324 --> 00:16:26.149
Yeah That growing up as an adult Over
Greg a little bit proud parent moment The
00:16:26.149 --> 00:16:32.299
other day my uh 16-year-old son you know
they won a football match Um one of the
00:16:32.389 --> 00:16:38.809
less valued players on the team um was a
bit of an outsider had busted collarbone
00:16:38.989 --> 00:16:43.519
and so he was sitting with first aid The
team went off into the change rooms sang
00:16:43.519 --> 00:16:49.279
the team song which they love singing
when they win um and Get through walked
00:16:49.279 --> 00:16:56.839
out and he saw this other boy He said
fellas missed this song let's get around
00:16:56.839 --> 00:17:02.629
him And I loved that Um just you know it
00:17:02.629 --> 00:17:02.719
ZOOM0025_Tr1: was
00:17:02.719 --> 00:17:02.869
like
00:17:03.109 --> 00:17:07.459
ZOOM0025_Tr2: oh that's you know you can
take 10 marks and kick five goals whatever
00:17:07.819 --> 00:17:10.049
but that was a really proud moment
00:17:10.094 --> 00:17:13.304
ZOOM0025_Tr1: really special So it's
like that character really looking at
00:17:13.304 --> 00:17:17.084
things that can help our children grow
in the sorts of character traits that
00:17:17.084 --> 00:17:22.604
we value as Christians as well as the
physical fitness and getting out and um
00:17:22.604 --> 00:17:25.514
using your body learning new skills um
00:17:26.474 --> 00:17:30.704
ZOOM0025_Tr2: God's creation in us
The abilities that he's given us the
00:17:30.704 --> 00:17:35.159
relationships he's given us through a
or through sport or through a music good
00:17:35.159 --> 00:17:37.259
gifts that God has given us to enjoy
00:17:37.349 --> 00:17:41.769
ZOOM0025_Tr1: Yeah definitely Yeah we
we are on the side of music and drama
00:17:41.769 --> 00:17:45.939
in our family and I can see that that's
been really great like especially drama
00:17:45.999 --> 00:17:50.989
really great for their confidence and just
finding that thing that they can do Um
00:17:51.049 --> 00:17:55.939
and as a not so sporty family we are at a
school that's fairly sporty And so if you
00:17:55.939 --> 00:18:01.879
don't do sport you sort of can miss out on
um those opportunities to uh connect with
00:18:01.879 --> 00:18:06.139
different people across different year
groups or be acknowledged in the school
00:18:06.139 --> 00:18:11.304
assemblies But as we've got involved in
music that's sort of become a substitute
00:18:11.304 --> 00:18:16.494
I suppose that you do get to be in a group
setting and learn teamwork um through the
00:18:16.494 --> 00:18:22.134
music And when you are on the stage you
are being acknowledged Um yeah So there's
00:18:22.134 --> 00:18:28.534
different ways to enjoy these kinds of
growth opportunities I guess But I think
00:18:28.534 --> 00:18:33.454
we are gonna need to look into the sport
with our third son Just his personality
00:18:33.454 --> 00:18:39.154
He's gonna really need that sort of outlet
Well let's talk for a minute um about how
00:18:39.154 --> 00:18:43.924
church fits into all of this because we
don't want church to just be another thing
00:18:43.924 --> 00:18:48.394
on the list that's an opt-in opt sort
of optional extra for the week cause as
00:18:48.394 --> 00:18:52.884
Christians we do wanna prioritize church
We want it to be one of the key priorities
00:18:52.884 --> 00:19:00.434
of our week Um so how does that Influence
how you guys think about extracurriculars
00:19:00.734 --> 00:19:02.084
How does church fit into it
00:19:03.809 --> 00:19:08.789
ZOOM0025_Tr2: It's been for us a an
ongoing discussion and Anne's been part of
00:19:08.789 --> 00:19:15.719
some of these discussions over the years
with us Um around the choices we make Uh
00:19:16.409 --> 00:19:20.879
two of our kids really wanted to play
junior level a FL which is on a Sunday
00:19:20.879 --> 00:19:25.679
morning and On that for a consistent
thing that's on a Sunday morning The
00:19:25.679 --> 00:19:31.649
answer was well no And and we had to
have that discussion and explain it
00:19:31.649 --> 00:19:35.399
to them and they they came around And
understood that it wasn't a you know
00:19:35.609 --> 00:19:40.199
we'll dictate what you do but they
understood that that balance of attending
00:19:40.709 --> 00:19:42.329
church for us as a family was really?
00:19:42.329 --> 00:19:47.849
important That said a lot of the
activities athletics championships okay
00:19:47.909 --> 00:19:52.124
most weeks athletics is on a Friday night
Championships are on a Sunday morning Um
00:19:53.054 --> 00:19:57.824
pre-season a FL is on a Sunday morning
So there are um weeks where we miss stuff
00:19:58.484 --> 00:19:58.994
ZOOM0025_Tr3: Um
00:19:59.204 --> 00:20:01.334
ZOOM0025_Tr2: Band performances
are on a Sunday morning
00:20:01.334 --> 00:20:01.904
Mm-hmm a lot of the
00:20:01.904 --> 00:20:07.274
time Um there are weeks where we
miss things and That's that's part
00:20:07.274 --> 00:20:10.035
of the balance Um and it's it's
00:20:11.024 --> 00:20:11.324
ZOOM0025_Tr3: being
00:20:11.324 --> 00:20:15.164
ZOOM0025_Tr2: aware that we've made a
commitment to team or to a group and
00:20:15.554 --> 00:20:18.855
you've gotta show for that group well
So you can't just be like ah Yeah, I'm
00:20:19.004 --> 00:20:19.364
ZOOM0025_Tr1: just, gonna
00:20:19.734 --> 00:20:23.129
try Mm And so it sounds like for you
guys there's a difference between the
00:20:23.189 --> 00:20:28.469
every week clash and the occasional clash
that you would say no to a sport that's
00:20:28.589 --> 00:20:34.184
always played on at the same time as your
church But if it's An ongoing commitment
00:20:34.184 --> 00:20:38.444
and it's a one-off thing then you're
flexible we are not being legalistic
00:20:38.444 --> 00:20:43.154
about church And I know different families
will come to different uh solutions
00:20:43.154 --> 00:20:48.584
on that And depending on how much um
choice you have maybe your church has
00:20:48.584 --> 00:20:52.454
a night service I know many families
if the sport happens on the Sunday
00:20:52.454 --> 00:20:56.204
morning they'll say yes to their child
but we'll commit to going to the night
00:20:56.204 --> 00:21:01.439
service for that Season Um so if you've
got more choice then perhaps you can
00:21:01.589 --> 00:21:05.309
solve that clash in different ways Yeah
00:21:05.849 --> 00:21:08.579
ZOOM0025_Tr2: I think the key that said
there that We don't wanna be legalistic
00:21:09.280 --> 00:21:16.210
um like our kids enjoy their sport their
music their their cadets they make a
00:21:16.210 --> 00:21:24.040
commitment to to that we want them to have
same joy in going to church So we want we
00:21:24.040 --> 00:21:29.460
want to guess instill in our children this
is a really Good part of our week You know
00:21:29.460 --> 00:21:34.890
this good that we're doing um that we're
doing as a family And we are also making
00:21:34.890 --> 00:21:41.910
a commitment you know don't show up are
missed Um and I think would be very much
00:21:42.030 --> 00:21:47.280
case Um over the years at the church that
and attend we've had various numbers of
00:21:47.280 --> 00:21:54.040
children And sometimes the Penn family
with of um very noticeable when they're
00:21:54.040 --> 00:21:59.800
there um for all good reasons And they're
also good at people Um when they're not
00:21:59.800 --> 00:22:04.120
there they're missed Um but but you know
that there's a good reason for them not
00:22:04.120 --> 00:22:08.860
to there you know it certainly helps
the rest of the church to be supportive
00:22:08.860 --> 00:22:11.170
and encouraging of them as a family
00:22:11.590 --> 00:22:14.980
ZOOM0025_Tr1: so could you tell us a bit
more about that um bringing people with
00:22:14.980 --> 00:22:20.500
you So you've found that being involved
in the community um has opened doors
00:22:20.500 --> 00:22:24.550
for you to then extend the invitation
to bring those people with you to
00:22:24.550 --> 00:22:26.800
church or youth group Is that right
00:22:27.310 --> 00:22:34.370
ZOOM0025_Tr2: Yeah certainly Uh it's
the world of being genuine friends with
00:22:34.370 --> 00:22:41.615
people Remember seeing talk years ago
um that was titled Friends Not for the
00:22:41.615 --> 00:22:47.855
sake of the gospel the sake of the gospel
Um meaning we are not just friends with
00:22:47.855 --> 00:22:52.415
people to tell them about Jesus We're
friends with people and we love them
00:22:52.595 --> 00:22:56.555
cause they're friends and therefore
we want tell them about Jesus And it's
00:22:56.555 --> 00:23:02.465
getting to know people on that more
personal level Um we've had a the strange
00:23:02.465 --> 00:23:06.575
scenario where athletics is on a Friday
night and youth group is on a Friday
00:23:06.575 --> 00:23:11.095
night So, the Penn family disappears
from youth group During the summer months
00:23:11.515 --> 00:23:15.385
but at the end of athletics then it's
like anyone doing athletics with my
00:23:15.385 --> 00:23:20.485
boys they're hassling them to come to
youth group you know through the winter
00:23:20.725 --> 00:23:25.555
and come on a Friday night We've had
a few kids come along through that Um
00:23:26.140 --> 00:23:31.360
and even I say they've stayed even
when Penn family goes back little
00:23:31.360 --> 00:23:39.040
athletics of been invited have stayed
So you know an enormous impact that
00:23:39.040 --> 00:23:45.040
that knowing enough invite them
genuinely and and they do They come
00:23:45.085 --> 00:23:45.505
ZOOM0025_Tr3: Mm-hmm
00:23:46.360 --> 00:23:51.070
ZOOM0025_Tr2: I think you know my
Friday nights um I've given the kids
00:23:51.070 --> 00:23:52.480
space to go to youth group And I don't
00:23:53.260 --> 00:23:53.470
ZOOM0025_Tr3: out
00:23:53.755 --> 00:23:54.025
ZOOM0025_Tr1: dare
00:23:54.700 --> 00:23:56.260
ZOOM0025_Tr2: My Friday
nights has always been
00:23:57.100 --> 00:23:57.370
ZOOM0025_Tr3: um
00:23:57.400 --> 00:23:59.800
ZOOM0025_Tr2: I will drive you back
and forth to youth group as many
00:23:59.800 --> 00:24:03.640
times, as is needed as long as I've
got a full car Um so they need to
00:24:03.730 --> 00:24:05.080
invite enough friends fill the car
00:24:06.355 --> 00:24:08.485
ZOOM0025_Tr1: Wow There's
a challenge every week
00:24:08.776 --> 00:24:09.160
ZOOM0025_Tr2: try and do that
00:24:10.885 --> 00:24:14.005
ZOOM0025_Tr1: Yeah That's wonderful
And something I was thinking about that
00:24:14.005 --> 00:24:17.365
I hadn't really thought about before
but some of the things that our kids
00:24:17.365 --> 00:24:21.925
are learning in these extracurricular
activities actually will then Bless the
00:24:21.925 --> 00:24:27.235
church So our kids are learning musical
instruments Um and it's even encouraged
00:24:27.235 --> 00:24:32.765
me to dust off my instrument So last
Christmas we played at like the family
00:24:32.765 --> 00:24:37.175
Christmas Eve service and we played a
few Christmas carols on our instruments
00:24:37.475 --> 00:24:42.605
and it was like Our family plus a couple
of extras um or our son's learning the
00:24:42.605 --> 00:24:48.195
piano And um so he's played at church
once or twice So those skills that
00:24:48.195 --> 00:24:52.395
they're learning can actually then in
turn bless our church or whether it's
00:24:52.395 --> 00:24:56.325
public speaking um they're learning
debating or doing drama They might be
00:24:56.325 --> 00:25:02.055
gaining sort of confidence to maybe read
a Bible reading or um serve in the youth
00:25:02.055 --> 00:25:07.555
group leadership team something like
that So um That's just an interesting
00:25:07.615 --> 00:25:13.855
link It's not necessarily either or and
these are enemies Um but actually it can
00:25:13.855 --> 00:25:18.025
integrate very well together if we are
intentional about it as you guys have
00:25:18.025 --> 00:25:25.675
been Um so can we hear a little bit more
about the secret please Anthony I know
00:25:25.675 --> 00:25:30.595
you have one No Um how do we stay sane
with all of this Because I'm just so
00:25:30.685 --> 00:25:36.205
um Nervous I feel like if I say yes to
child number one that I'm committing to
00:25:36.205 --> 00:25:40.885
four times that amount of time four times
that amount of car travel four times that
00:25:40.885 --> 00:25:46.345
amount of money uh uniforms all of the
admin I just I just feel overwhelmed at
00:25:46.345 --> 00:25:53.065
the thought of saying yes and just wonder
Um yeah So one decision we made to stay
00:25:53.065 --> 00:25:58.570
sane was Same time same place all three
of you although we might talk about this
00:25:58.570 --> 00:26:01.990
later but one of them now goes to youth
group instead cause unfortunately cadets
00:26:01.990 --> 00:26:07.000
is on a Friday night as well Um but I'm
worried about the busyness I don't wanna
00:26:07.000 --> 00:26:11.710
be the mom whose catchphrase is hurry
up get in the car Um I don't wanna be
00:26:11.710 --> 00:26:17.350
feeding them dinner in the car Um I don't
Wanna be stretched financially just cause
00:26:17.350 --> 00:26:23.080
we've said yes to too many things And
I I worry about um downtime Kids need
00:26:23.080 --> 00:26:27.700
downtime and I worry about family time
I think having a meal together is really
00:26:27.700 --> 00:26:32.910
important So I'm sort of the no mom
because I'm worried about all these the
00:26:32.910 --> 00:26:39.450
extreme that it it might get to in my head
Um so yeah how do we find that balance
00:26:39.450 --> 00:26:45.410
How do we stay sane How many is too many
Have you got any wisdom to share with us
00:26:46.100 --> 00:26:46.220
This
00:26:46.260 --> 00:26:49.785
ZOOM0025_Tr2: is a live topic in our
house at moment as We come to the start of
00:26:50.355 --> 00:26:57.450
summer sport And think there's discussions
around playing Some are netball running
00:26:57.450 --> 00:27:05.670
coaching other athletics basketball oztag
soccer And then normal athletics uh which
00:27:05.670 --> 00:27:10.140
our kids wanna fit in the week Um and
that's a that's a live topic We haven't
00:27:10.140 --> 00:27:12.930
resolved that yet and it's like what are
we gonna do and what are we not gonna
00:27:12.930 --> 00:27:19.620
do cause this is looking like chaos Um
but I think the the key for us and this
00:27:19.620 --> 00:27:25.665
is Where my wife's particularly good at
it is sitting down with him and having a
00:27:26.900 --> 00:27:27.190
ZOOM0025_Tr3: calm
00:27:27.375 --> 00:27:30.765
ZOOM0025_Tr2: And sensible conversation
with the kids running through the pros
00:27:30.765 --> 00:27:36.615
and cons and allowing them to make the
decisions And you know this scenario
00:27:38.085 --> 00:27:40.875
one of our boys is really good friends
with a neighbor across the road and.
00:27:40.875 --> 00:27:43.515
he loves spending at least
an afternoon a week just
00:27:44.190 --> 00:27:44.610
ZOOM0025_Tr3: I know
00:27:44.865 --> 00:27:45.945
ZOOM0025_Tr2: hitting
each other with sticks or
00:27:45.945 --> 00:27:46.215
ZOOM0025_Tr1: something
00:27:47.625 --> 00:27:50.550
ZOOM0025_Tr2: um, where the other other
one is Probably more passionate about
00:27:50.700 --> 00:27:55.260
team sports And so having that discussion
around you know, you happy to not be
00:27:55.260 --> 00:28:00.210
in a team because you wanna spend time
with the neighbor and and vice versa And
00:28:00.390 --> 00:28:05.070
allowing them to understand the I guess
the flow on effects of every decision
00:28:05.610 --> 00:28:10.740
of you know if you choose to do this
then this means this other person can't
00:28:10.740 --> 00:28:18.780
do that Um I think the other one I was
talking to Michelle about my wife um
00:28:20.745 --> 00:28:25.785
There will be times when one kid needs
to look like a favorite Not that they are
00:28:25.845 --> 00:28:32.835
favorite but they just need more your time
as a parent and being honest with your
00:28:32.835 --> 00:28:36.405
kids um as a group That they're a team
00:28:37.380 --> 00:28:37.530
ZOOM0025_Tr1: they're
00:28:37.635 --> 00:28:41.265
ZOOM0025_Tr2: of themselves And sometimes
one of the team needs more more help
00:28:41.265 --> 00:28:45.555
and support or more time driving I've
got one kid on L plates that's a lot
00:28:45.555 --> 00:28:48.105
of hours and they need a lot of time
00:28:48.810 --> 00:28:49.080
ZOOM0025_Tr1: Mm Um
00:28:49.620 --> 00:28:53.400
ZOOM0025_Tr2: And being really clear
that we are doing our best to be balanced
00:28:54.060 --> 00:28:54.480
ZOOM0025_Tr3: Um
00:28:54.750 --> 00:28:57.580
ZOOM0025_Tr2: but does
change How much time some get
00:28:57.910 --> 00:28:58.390
ZOOM0025_Tr1: for a little while
00:28:58.795 --> 00:29:02.405
ZOOM0025_Tr2: I think that's really
helpful Um it it's almost like a round
00:29:02.405 --> 00:29:07.625
table discussion isn't it Where you are
putting out the factors consider you know
00:29:07.805 --> 00:29:12.755
is what week looks like These are the we
this what we used to have do This is what
00:29:12.755 --> 00:29:18.365
we have to do a week things that you want
to do are things that are good for us to
00:29:18.365 --> 00:29:23.480
do So we include like downtime Uh we were
really blessed that we could walk to and
00:29:23.690 --> 00:29:28.700
school which eats into some of your but
it was a great time walking to and from
00:29:28.700 --> 00:29:32.510
school and we'd often have a bunch of
other kids walking with us So you know
00:29:32.510 --> 00:29:38.150
it was just this really fun moment and
we liked to have downtime where you could
00:29:38.150 --> 00:29:45.155
just go and get a a milkshake or you could
to the park or you could Just do nothing
00:29:45.185 --> 00:29:49.605
you know or invite friends over And so
for me was helping my girls understand
00:29:50.055 --> 00:29:54.975
there's bunch of stuff here that we want
to do Let's all of it and work out what
00:29:55.025 --> 00:29:58.595
what are we gonna prioritize here And
there always sacrifices I think that's
00:29:58.985 --> 00:30:05.135
the point to understand this you have
to weigh things up work what direction
00:30:05.645 --> 00:30:08.130
But we flexibility we said we'll try it
00:30:08.315 --> 00:30:08.465
ZOOM0025_Tr1: it
00:30:09.350 --> 00:30:13.910
ZOOM0025_Tr2: try it for a term and
if it doesn't work in our timeframe
00:30:14.150 --> 00:30:19.130
puts too much stress on us as a
family or us financially then actually
00:30:19.130 --> 00:30:25.170
we'll call it say no And sometimes
we did that we gave it a try and
00:30:25.590 --> 00:30:25.800
yeah
00:30:26.610 --> 00:30:29.100
And often it just wasn't gonna fit
00:30:29.250 --> 00:30:32.730
ZOOM0025_Tr1: Yeah We might talk
more about that actually So sometimes
00:30:32.760 --> 00:30:37.740
we might try something or start on
a path with a sport or an activity
00:30:38.100 --> 00:30:42.540
It could be dance I know a lot of
families do a lot of dance Um but
00:30:42.750 --> 00:30:44.101
sometimes we're gonna have to sort of
00:30:44.130 --> 00:30:44.340
ZOOM0025_Tr2: of
00:30:45.270 --> 00:30:49.320
ZOOM0025_Tr1: Stop their progress on that
track if it's not working if it's too
00:30:49.320 --> 00:30:54.270
much for us or if there's a persistent
Sunday clash Um I remember you saying
00:30:54.270 --> 00:30:58.030
Anne that you were reluctant to get
involved in soccer because you knew that
00:30:58.060 --> 00:31:03.530
once it hit a certain level if your child
was good at The soccer for the women's
00:31:03.530 --> 00:31:08.240
it was always gonna be on a Sunday So
how do we talk about that with our kids
00:31:08.450 --> 00:31:12.380
when they might be really gifted at it
They could do 10 hours of gymnastics a
00:31:12.380 --> 00:31:16.250
week Uh cause they're actually really
good at it Um and they're being invited
00:31:16.250 --> 00:31:21.410
to How do we have that conversation
about we are gonna have to say no on
00:31:21.410 --> 00:31:25.940
this one Like I imagine you've had to
do that Anthony you got any points that
00:31:25.940 --> 00:31:30.970
you would raise with your children or
frame the discussion around saying no I
00:31:31.240 --> 00:31:31.660
think it's
00:31:31.690 --> 00:31:38.350
ZOOM0025_Tr2: that that same and say
the round table conversation where you
00:31:38.500 --> 00:31:44.380
explain it's not just this impact on a
Sunday morning it's also what are the
00:31:44.380 --> 00:31:49.750
other impacts So for me uh it would've
been rep level football for one of my boys
00:31:50.200 --> 00:31:53.260
He would he would love to try He's never
even tried out I dunno whether he'd make
00:31:53.260 --> 00:31:57.520
the team but we looked at that and that
there was three nights a week training uh
00:31:57.550 --> 00:32:03.190
which was half an hour away plus Sunday
mornings plus travel you know around the
00:32:03.190 --> 00:32:08.530
state not just, around the city but around
the state to um to be playing that often
00:32:08.530 --> 00:32:14.990
on a Sunday Um and we just mapped that
out and He could see it and you could
00:32:14.990 --> 00:32:20.600
see he wanted to do Like we can't fit
this in This means that your siblings
00:32:21.140 --> 00:32:22.700
are getting a lift to their sport every
00:32:22.700 --> 00:32:23.000
week
00:32:23.780 --> 00:32:28.170
Um your siblings are getting
a lift to church every week if
00:32:28.170 --> 00:32:29.460
they're going without us like it
00:32:29.940 --> 00:32:30.000
ZOOM0025_Tr1: you
00:32:30.030 --> 00:32:31.860
ZOOM0025_Tr2: know and that
or you are getting a lift with
00:32:31.860 --> 00:32:34.665
someone and that think that It was
00:32:34.800 --> 00:32:35.250
ZOOM0025_Tr1: discussion
00:32:35.250 --> 00:32:39.030
Mm-hmm And if you've had those prior
discussions as you mentioned earlier about
00:32:39.030 --> 00:32:43.440
what is the sport about it's not just
about getting to the top or succeeding
00:32:43.440 --> 00:32:48.360
or being the best or winning um I think
they would have a more balanced view to
00:32:48.360 --> 00:32:53.470
be able to say no But if they're a family
that the only goal has been to succeed and
00:32:53.470 --> 00:32:58.210
to win then of course they're not gonna
be happy about stopping that progression
00:32:58.450 --> 00:33:02.800
But if you've given that really balanced
view of what are we doing this for in the
00:33:02.800 --> 00:33:07.990
first place then you've got more ground
to actually keep the balance I think
00:33:08.290 --> 00:33:12.166
ZOOM0025_Tr2: we used to Always have a
conversation as well about what's going
00:33:12.166 --> 00:33:19.876
to most honor God in this and and that
heaven focus of actually here to enjoy
00:33:19.876 --> 00:33:23.756
life you know God's put us here to enjoy
life and there's so much to enjoy but
00:33:23.756 --> 00:33:30.176
we're here to serve him here to honor him
in what we do And so I used sort rather
00:33:30.176 --> 00:33:35.636
you girls learn how to at learning a
musical instrument cause you learn how
00:33:35.636 --> 00:33:40.916
to persist You learn you learn how to be
faithful learn how to be in sporting team
00:33:41.156 --> 00:33:47.306
use physical abilities god's given you but
learn sportsmanship and encouragement and
00:33:47.306 --> 00:33:54.686
respect and you know um following rules
because that's important And boundaries
00:33:55.256 --> 00:33:59.846
that's what you need through your life
and those things you're going take you
00:34:00.416 --> 00:34:07.121
But Being in the first you know a grade
netball or playing netball at you hours
00:34:07.121 --> 00:34:12.851
a week that's actually not to give you
what ultimately is gonna glorify God Not
00:34:12.851 --> 00:34:18.236
saying those things are wrong but was
more at long-term character And also the
00:34:18.236 --> 00:34:20.936
fact that what's God want us here to do
00:34:21.161 --> 00:34:22.601
ZOOM0025_Tr1: And you'll
learn that at any level
00:34:23.246 --> 00:34:27.896
ZOOM0025_Tr2: at level You can learn
that any activity Um so think that's
00:34:27.896 --> 00:34:30.116
also where the balance came in for us
00:34:30.146 --> 00:34:30.476
Mm-hmm
00:34:31.226 --> 00:34:36.386
one way one thing where you see
um is there's quite a lot families
00:34:36.386 --> 00:34:42.596
where they'll invest everything into
one child that is you know perhaps
00:34:42.596 --> 00:34:44.336
hoping to be an Olympian or Or
00:34:45.311 --> 00:34:45.551
ZOOM0025_Tr3: you know
00:34:46.346 --> 00:34:50.066
ZOOM0025_Tr2: at a world level in a
particular sport and throw everything
00:34:50.066 --> 00:34:55.706
into that Um partially probably cause I
don't think any of our kids are at that
00:34:55.706 --> 00:35:02.456
level Um but also um because we we didn't
want to be so focused we're not that
00:35:02.456 --> 00:35:09.446
in intense about things Um we've always
adapted to take on multiple things learn
00:35:09.446 --> 00:35:13.421
lots of different skills in life I I
actually heard I didn't know this heard
00:35:13.421 --> 00:35:20.171
it recently the the phrase jack of all
trades master of none um has a second half
00:35:20.771 --> 00:35:21.041
Oh
00:35:21.431 --> 00:35:24.731
Um which is is often
better than a master of one
00:35:25.841 --> 00:35:26.081
um
00:35:26.531 --> 00:35:29.891
I didn't know that Someone told me that
recently and I said I took that to heart
00:35:29.891 --> 00:35:34.211
I'm like that's a really great saying
We want our kids to be well-rounded Um
00:35:35.051 --> 00:35:39.131
you know you can you can potentially
play football every day and be amazing
00:35:39.131 --> 00:35:40.331
and ruin your knees by the time.
00:35:40.331 --> 00:35:44.846
you're 35 Um, and you know that's
00:35:44.936 --> 00:35:44.996
ZOOM0025_Tr3: it
00:35:46.136 --> 00:35:49.016
ZOOM0025_Tr2: that's not the path we
wanted for our kids Uh we wanted a
00:35:49.016 --> 00:35:58.106
balance of sport and physical activity
Um music and drama and arts uh as well
00:35:58.106 --> 00:36:03.746
as sciences and different skills Um so
that they're well-rounded individuals
00:36:04.091 --> 00:36:04.451
ZOOM0025_Tr1: Mm-hmm
00:36:04.796 --> 00:36:06.086
ZOOM0025_Tr2: different people
have different priorities
00:36:06.206 --> 00:36:07.106
That's what we've chosen
00:36:07.496 --> 00:36:07.736
Yep
00:36:08.126 --> 00:36:12.476
Um and we think that's God's path for
us But other people God may call you
00:36:12.476 --> 00:36:18.206
to be an a hundred meter sprinter uh
and share the gospel that way well
00:36:18.431 --> 00:36:18.791
ZOOM0025_Tr1: Mm-hmm
00:36:19.046 --> 00:36:23.276
ZOOM0025_Tr2: that's the key isn't it How
what are we doing in the activities uh
00:36:23.276 --> 00:36:27.986
as Christians you know So Yeah absolutely
That might be a hundred meter sprinter
00:36:28.331 --> 00:36:29.986
ZOOM0025_Tr1: And are your
siblings still okay though
00:36:30.231 --> 00:36:30.232
ZOOM0025_Tr2: Yes
00:36:31.606 --> 00:36:34.872
ZOOM0025_Tr1: How how does it affect
the rest of the family Yeah yeah
00:36:35.606 --> 00:36:35.756
ZOOM0025_Tr2: No
00:36:36.011 --> 00:36:40.601
ZOOM0025_Tr1: and something just to um
keep in mind as well is that we don't
00:36:40.601 --> 00:36:45.941
actually always have to pay for all of
these things So if we want our children
00:36:45.971 --> 00:36:52.391
to be well-rounded and we are musical
We can teach them music We can do music
00:36:52.391 --> 00:36:58.601
as a family uh for example Or if we
are a great swimmer or great at soccer
00:36:58.601 --> 00:37:04.871
or whatever we can go down to the oval
as a family and practice soccer Um so
00:37:04.871 --> 00:37:10.646
I think you know uh If people have a
tight budget or are worried about family
00:37:10.646 --> 00:37:15.146
time you can start thinking about ways
to integrate this all together that
00:37:15.266 --> 00:37:18.656
uh your children don't have to miss
out if you can't afford the external
00:37:18.656 --> 00:37:23.606
activity or um all of these things we're
wanting our children to learn There are
00:37:23.606 --> 00:37:24.747
lots of different ways to learn them
00:37:24.751 --> 00:37:25.021
ZOOM0025_Tr2: them
00:37:25.201 --> 00:37:28.621
can take a soccer ball down to
a park with a bunch of friends
00:37:28.801 --> 00:37:30.061
and kick the soccer ball
00:37:30.116 --> 00:37:30.406
Yeah
00:37:31.486 --> 00:37:32.206
of my favorite activities
00:37:32.371 --> 00:37:39.511
yeah So can get you know physical You
you know encourage aspects of working
00:37:39.511 --> 00:37:44.401
together in all sorts things Yeah
Just having fun in God's good creation
00:37:45.316 --> 00:37:48.166
ZOOM0025_Tr1: definitely But well-rounded
is something good to aim for for the
00:37:48.166 --> 00:37:52.546
adults as well as the children I dunno
if anyone watched parental guidance but
00:37:53.116 --> 00:37:58.816
it is um it's not quite a reality TV show
but with Dr Justin Olson and one of the
00:37:58.876 --> 00:38:04.996
um things that I picked up on was when
they went to uh see What place fitness
00:38:04.996 --> 00:38:09.346
and physical health had in the family
They didn't test the children's fitness
00:38:09.466 --> 00:38:13.336
They tested the adults fitness cause
apparently that's the number one predictor
00:38:13.336 --> 00:38:19.276
of children's uh sort of physical fitness
is that the parents fitness So there you
00:38:19.276 --> 00:38:24.916
go There's another thing throw into the
balance is our own need for and exercise
00:38:24.916 --> 00:38:29.086
and and balance Well let's just talk
briefly about another sort of tricky
00:38:29.086 --> 00:38:33.666
situation Say our child has committed
to an activity and then they come home
00:38:33.666 --> 00:38:40.296
one one day and say I'm quitting I don't
wanna do that anymore Um ours I mean our
00:38:40.296 --> 00:38:45.136
situation wasn't quite Phrased like that
but uh one of our sons as we knew would
00:38:45.136 --> 00:38:49.606
happen cause cadets as I said is on a
Friday night We knew that the clash with
00:38:49.606 --> 00:38:54.616
youth group would happen eventually Our
own church is um quite small and not many
00:38:54.616 --> 00:38:57.196
young people so we don't have a youth
group of our own But there are lots of
00:38:57.196 --> 00:39:02.506
local youth groups that a lot of the
Christian kids go to And so our son our
00:39:02.506 --> 00:39:07.336
eldest did come home and say I am thinking
about quitting cadets to go to youth group
00:39:07.726 --> 00:39:11.941
And we've always said We will support that
decision if that's your decision because
00:39:11.941 --> 00:39:15.481
we think youth group's a good thing
as well We definitely value everything
00:39:15.481 --> 00:39:17.971
they're learning at cadets Um and
00:39:18.706 --> 00:39:19.066
ZOOM0025_Tr2: yeah
00:39:19.111 --> 00:39:21.571
ZOOM0025_Tr1: Really happy with the
things they've learned there They
00:39:21.571 --> 00:39:26.581
learn leadership For us it's an all-boy
environment which is unique We don't often
00:39:26.581 --> 00:39:31.651
have an environment where there's just a
group of boys together um and they learn
00:39:31.651 --> 00:39:35.701
all sorts of interesting educational
things It's a really good balance between
00:39:35.701 --> 00:39:41.431
physical activity um and education and
other things that they learn Um but We
00:39:41.431 --> 00:39:45.901
sort of had to talk it through with him
Well how do you quit Well and so like you
00:39:45.901 --> 00:39:50.011
we said well you are gonna need to talk
to the leader of cadets You're gonna need
00:39:50.011 --> 00:39:54.931
to make time to chat with him about when
you're gonna finish up and make a date
00:39:54.961 --> 00:40:00.931
Like don't just quit today I'm not gonna
let you just quit today You can uh pick
00:40:00.991 --> 00:40:05.221
an important occasion for cadets whether
it's Anzac Day or whether it's the end of
00:40:05.221 --> 00:40:10.576
year parade and don't ditch them Before
that commitment Let's see that out And
00:40:10.576 --> 00:40:17.686
you can perform your role at one of these
events and go out then um and not just
00:40:17.746 --> 00:40:22.921
quit to quit to sit at home and play the
Xbox or something but he was Wanting to
00:40:23.131 --> 00:40:27.631
do youth group which we felt was a really
good thing as well So that's some of the
00:40:27.631 --> 00:40:32.701
things we encourage him to do Don't quit
straight away and you need to talk to the
00:40:32.701 --> 00:40:39.121
leader and um make an exit strategy that's
honoring to your commitment I suppose Um
00:40:39.151 --> 00:40:43.921
what about you Anthony Have you had to
have that Um I want a quick conversation
00:40:44.011 --> 00:40:49.081
ZOOM0025_Tr2: Yeah Very very similar
approach Um you I'm finished with band Um
00:40:49.501 --> 00:40:54.181
I don't wanna do it anymore Okay well you
will get past the whatever performance
00:40:54.181 --> 00:40:56.731
is coming up you're gonna tell your
teacher that you're leaving after that
00:40:56.731 --> 00:41:01.351
performance and can you go But until then
you will try your hardest And it's you
00:41:01.351 --> 00:41:07.261
know that's setting up for work life You
know as as I've people resign at work one
00:41:07.261 --> 00:41:11.431
of the bits feedback I give is the next
four weeks after you resign if you're
00:41:11.431 --> 00:41:17.431
gonna work out your notice period Um is
a reflection of your character You know
00:41:17.431 --> 00:41:22.321
you continue to work or you can f around
and I can't control that thing If we can
00:41:22.321 --> 00:41:25.741
teach that into our kids Makes them, good
00:41:26.896 --> 00:41:29.086
ZOOM0025_Tr1: the
character Character again
00:41:29.251 --> 00:41:33.001
ZOOM0025_Tr2: and I think even um made
me reflect back on a situation with one
00:41:33.001 --> 00:41:38.896
of my daughters There was um netball
can be quite a complicated sport to be
00:41:38.896 --> 00:41:43.546
placed into a grade and it's all got
to do with numbers and if played before
00:41:44.026 --> 00:41:48.526
that impacts what grade you're put into
And so she was put into a team for one
00:41:48.526 --> 00:41:58.241
season that was well below the level at
she was devastated Um and you know I was
00:41:58.241 --> 00:42:03.041
thinking is she gonna wanna quit here
had a a good conversation about fact that
00:42:03.431 --> 00:42:08.201
she'd signed up she'd made a commitment
uh she was placed in this team so had
00:42:08.231 --> 00:42:13.471
commitment to she played in this team
um and that she needed to honor That
00:42:13.471 --> 00:42:19.351
commitment in terms how she did faithful
turn up be encouraging you know support
00:42:19.351 --> 00:42:23.641
the coach support the other players
be cause of these players never played
00:42:23.641 --> 00:42:30.191
before Um and that was a hard season
but she grew so in her character From
00:42:30.191 --> 00:42:36.281
that experience so that you know that's
another aspect of when things are tough
00:42:36.431 --> 00:42:41.531
I mean learning a musical instrument um
is tough on everybody when first learning
00:42:41.531 --> 00:42:41.591
it
00:42:41.696 --> 00:42:41.996
ZOOM0025_Tr3: It's tough
00:42:42.596 --> 00:42:43.676
ZOOM0025_Tr1: the violin No
00:42:43.876 --> 00:42:46.661
ZOOM0025_Tr2: no saxophone
saxophone too Lemme
00:42:46.661 --> 00:42:46.976
see We have
00:42:46.976 --> 00:42:48.116
ZOOM0025_Tr1: we have a saxophone
00:42:48.401 --> 00:42:48.851
ZOOM0025_Tr2: I've done that
00:42:48.926 --> 00:42:50.816
ZOOM0025_Tr1: Trumpet saxophone piano
00:42:51.071 --> 00:42:55.121
ZOOM0025_Tr2: but but even that learning
how to persist so them skills how to
00:42:55.121 --> 00:42:59.801
break down to this level move on to
the next level you know how to cope
00:42:59.801 --> 00:43:04.601
with disappointment of that comes into
perseverance which again leads into
00:43:04.601 --> 00:43:09.641
character as you said And that's a godly
attribute isn't it That we learn how to
00:43:10.511 --> 00:43:14.261
ZOOM0025_Tr1: Yeah Well we're actually
gonna wrap up our conversation very soon
00:43:14.561 --> 00:43:19.831
Um but to finish I wanted to talk about
something that again um I've heard from
00:43:19.831 --> 00:43:26.956
Anthony in recent times about Just the the
general idea of trying to connect in our
00:43:26.956 --> 00:43:30.976
community trying to build relationships
genuine friendships with the people that
00:43:30.976 --> 00:43:35.626
we live around or cross paths with at
school or um our neighbors and so on
00:43:36.076 --> 00:43:41.396
Um I thought let's just zoom out a bit
not just Extracurriculars but community
00:43:41.396 --> 00:43:46.416
connection opportunities What are some
things that uh have worked uh I know
00:43:46.416 --> 00:43:51.546
Anthony you've talked about when you
first moved into your home or your street
00:43:51.576 --> 00:43:55.026
you sort of had a bit of a philosophy
there Do you wanna tell us about that
00:43:55.086 --> 00:43:57.771
Um when you first moved into your house
00:43:58.736 --> 00:43:59.026
ZOOM0025_Tr2: when
00:43:59.026 --> 00:44:04.511
we when we looked at our house we are
in um it was beyond our price range and
00:44:04.511 --> 00:44:06.221
we said God would really like this house
00:44:06.641 --> 00:44:06.701
Um
00:44:07.316 --> 00:44:10.856
Then he conveniently arranged for the
price to be dropped into our price
00:44:10.856 --> 00:44:16.736
range Um but we said it would be a
house that was open Uh so we chose
00:44:16.821 --> 00:44:16.941
ZOOM0025_Tr1: a
00:44:17.876 --> 00:44:18.296
ZOOM0025_Tr3: uh
00:44:18.356 --> 00:44:19.616
ZOOM0025_Tr2: a house with no front fence
00:44:20.606 --> 00:44:21.116
ZOOM0025_Tr3: Um
00:44:21.476 --> 00:44:27.056
ZOOM0025_Tr2: we lawn where people can see
what's going on Um And we actually have
00:44:27.201 --> 00:44:31.966
we have quite large windows at the front
where it's almost like it's connected to
00:44:31.966 --> 00:44:35.447
the street and we we want kids coming in
and out We want families coming in and out
00:44:35.611 --> 00:44:35.671
I
00:44:36.541 --> 00:44:44.131
think a big part for us was to build
relationships with whole families Um so if
00:44:44.131 --> 00:44:49.021
our kids were hanging out with kids we'd
try with the parents and but the credit
00:44:49.021 --> 00:44:53.641
for this is to go to my wife who spent a
lot more time and effort and is far better
00:44:53.641 --> 00:45:00.051
at this than me building relationships
so that it's a whole of family connection
00:45:01.281 --> 00:45:06.666
and now when when our kids are at youth
group we can hang out with parents Um and
00:45:06.876 --> 00:45:09.396
and build relationships that way As well
00:45:09.681 --> 00:45:11.241
ZOOM0025_Tr1: Tell us about Park Day
00:45:11.766 --> 00:45:17.376
ZOOM0025_Tr2: So this was uh an initiative
that my wife ran when our kids were in
00:45:17.436 --> 00:45:23.106
primary school and now been handed on to
someone else um where just every afternoon
00:45:23.706 --> 00:45:28.896
uh a box of cups and a thermos couple
of thermos full of hot water um would
00:45:28.896 --> 00:45:33.576
be taken to the park near our school And
um anyone that wanted to join would join
00:45:33.876 --> 00:45:33.936
Mm
00:45:34.071 --> 00:45:34.221
ZOOM0025_Tr1: And
00:45:35.646 --> 00:45:38.236
ZOOM0025_Tr2: The Christians in our
community none of them were from
00:45:38.236 --> 00:45:43.206
our church um but we knew them um
cotton Dawn that this was an amazing
00:45:43.656 --> 00:45:48.786
way to interact with the community
And we'd have I dunno as many as 50
00:45:49.101 --> 00:45:51.771
ZOOM0025_Tr1: Yeah Was that a
particular day of the week And you'd say
00:45:51.771 --> 00:45:52.791
that every every Wednesday
00:45:52.796 --> 00:45:53.576
Wednesdays Park Day
00:45:53.576 --> 00:45:54.411
Wednesday Park Day
00:45:54.906 --> 00:45:57.366
ZOOM0025_Tr2: and the kids knew and
they'd go and just muck around at
00:45:57.366 --> 00:46:01.326
the park people would bring a you
know packet of biscuits to share but
00:46:01.326 --> 00:46:03.276
it built such amazing relationship
00:46:03.336 --> 00:46:03.396
ZOOM0025_Tr1: Mm
00:46:04.251 --> 00:46:05.631
ZOOM0025_Tr2: Across all.
00:46:05.631 --> 00:46:09.711
parts of the community Sometimes
you'd have grandparents picking up
00:46:09.711 --> 00:46:10.971
if the kids were at work you'd have
00:46:11.046 --> 00:46:11.466
ZOOM0025_Tr3: kids
00:46:11.871 --> 00:46:14.031
ZOOM0025_Tr2: you know or someone
would say I'm stuck at work
00:46:14.331 --> 00:46:15.651
my kids are coming Park Day
00:46:16.116 --> 00:46:16.326
ZOOM0025_Tr1: Um
00:46:16.761 --> 00:46:20.781
ZOOM0025_Tr2: And and so it just
built a lot community relationships
00:46:21.231 --> 00:46:25.341
and was an amazing gospel to
opportunity to sit And share the gospel
00:46:25.926 --> 00:46:28.086
ZOOM0025_Tr1: yeah that's
wonderful So simple
00:46:28.311 --> 00:46:32.466
ZOOM0025_Tr2: idea of merging cultures
isn't it You know something a shared
00:46:32.466 --> 00:46:35.496
activity and having Christians
non-Christians doing it together
00:46:36.186 --> 00:46:39.576
building those relationships which
gives you the opportunity to talk
00:46:39.576 --> 00:46:40.866
about Jesus as you get to know
00:46:41.556 --> 00:46:42.786
ZOOM0025_Tr1: Is it an amazing park
00:46:43.266 --> 00:46:43.566
ZOOM0025_Tr2: No
00:46:43.661 --> 00:46:43.991
it's a
00:46:44.211 --> 00:46:44.611
ZOOM0025_Tr1: rubbish
00:46:44.611 --> 00:46:45.611
park I mean,
00:46:46.446 --> 00:46:48.066
ZOOM0025_Tr2: yeah but give kids
00:46:48.306 --> 00:46:48.966
ZOOM0025_Tr1: time
00:46:49.026 --> 00:46:52.206
ZOOM0025_Tr2: I think the it sounds
like we have a very busy life but we
00:46:52.206 --> 00:46:57.246
do actually try and have conscious time
for kids to be bored and to spend time.
00:46:57.246 --> 00:47:01.226
at park With no directed play And
they have to amuse themselves and
00:47:01.641 --> 00:47:05.661
And there's not much this park either
Like it's a pretty bland park really
00:47:05.696 --> 00:47:05.986
Yeah,
00:47:06.171 --> 00:47:06.471
Yeah
00:47:06.906 --> 00:47:11.226
ZOOM0025_Tr1: So they get that wonderful
time to do imaginative nature Play sticks
00:47:11.556 --> 00:47:17.316
love sticks Well Girls might love sticks
too but my boys love sticks Yep Yeah
00:47:17.316 --> 00:47:20.946
That's wonderful So that's a really simple
idea If your children are not yet old
00:47:20.946 --> 00:47:26.076
enough for any extracurricular community
organization run activities just go to the
00:47:26.076 --> 00:47:31.346
park once a week and whoever Yeah I mean
We have our front yard with no fence as
00:47:31.346 --> 00:47:36.086
well and we live in a cul-de-sac which is
really great So and I think COVID really
00:47:36.086 --> 00:47:41.616
helped our our neighborly connections
Hugely So the kids got to know each other
00:47:41.616 --> 00:47:46.206
in the street And so in recent times we've
bought a ping pong table in our garage We
00:47:46.206 --> 00:47:51.126
just lift up the garage door and the ping
pong table's there or a little portable
00:47:51.156 --> 00:47:55.566
badminton set We got it from Rebel or
somewhere and it all packs into a box and
00:47:55.566 --> 00:48:00.216
it's really handy So now on the weekends
we often just have those things out on
00:48:00.216 --> 00:48:05.346
our lawn and another family has the So
Nets and another family has a trampoline
00:48:05.346 --> 00:48:10.601
out the front and so the kids can sort of
Go between all the houses and yeah it's
00:48:10.601 --> 00:48:15.221
a wonderful um you know sometimes it's
one parent watching them other times that
00:48:15.221 --> 00:48:19.061
all the moms are standing around having
a cup of tea while they watch the kids
00:48:19.061 --> 00:48:25.241
And it's really uh special and wonderful
to feel connected into the community uh
00:48:25.241 --> 00:48:30.231
where you live and the neighborhood Um
in the holidays we had a campfire Another
00:48:30.231 --> 00:48:34.931
simple thing but we chose some of our kids
would prefer to have it in our backyard
00:48:34.931 --> 00:48:39.761
where it's just our family time Um and
I hope we might do that for their sake
00:48:39.821 --> 00:48:44.381
another time But this time we encourage
them let's have it in the front yard And
00:48:44.381 --> 00:48:48.926
we just told the other families that have
kids in the street Just we're gonna have
00:48:48.926 --> 00:48:54.956
a campfire four till six And I didn't
really plan any particular food or drink
00:48:54.956 --> 00:48:59.726
I did buy marshmallows and digestive
biscuits to make s'mores but that's all
00:48:59.756 --> 00:49:05.066
But people turned up with pizza and sushi
and drinks and I mean tell us about um
00:49:05.066 --> 00:49:10.561
your approach to hospitality because I
think Anthony People can think oh open
00:49:10.561 --> 00:49:15.541
house I've gotta keep it clean all the
time And Oh that would be so stressful Um
00:49:15.601 --> 00:49:20.341
trying to entertain and be hospitable I
mean yeah What are your thoughts on that
00:49:20.981 --> 00:49:24.956
ZOOM0025_Tr2: we try and be Not to
pretend like, yes, if we know people
00:49:24.956 --> 00:49:30.506
are coming over, the kids are told we
are cleaning up the house, but, um, we
00:49:30.506 --> 00:49:32.186
want people coming over all the time.
00:49:32.456 --> 00:49:36.026
I think growing up for me, uh, my
mom had plate on the wall that said,
00:49:36.026 --> 00:49:38.186
come in, sit down, relax, converse.
00:49:38.636 --> 00:49:40.256
Our house doesn't always look like this.
00:49:40.256 --> 00:49:41.516
Sometimes it's even worse.
00:49:42.236 --> 00:49:46.316
Um, and that was the attitude, like
if our house is chaos, our house is
00:49:46.316 --> 00:49:48.266
chaos and people can be part of that.
00:49:48.326 --> 00:49:52.061
There's football boots and stinky
socks, 'cause the kids have come in on
00:49:52.061 --> 00:49:55.391
a Saturday and chucked their clothes
everywhere and someone drops in.
00:49:55.631 --> 00:49:56.081
So be it.
00:49:56.111 --> 00:49:57.161
That's, that's real life.
00:49:57.161 --> 00:50:00.611
And I think learned a lesson,
uh, a number of years ago.
00:50:01.421 --> 00:50:05.741
From a locum minister who said at
his previous church, no one would do
00:50:05.741 --> 00:50:12.341
hospitality because one family was amazing
at and they had a glamorous Sunday lunch
00:50:12.341 --> 00:50:17.291
every week with all beautiful China and
no one else was brave enough to, um, host.
00:50:17.921 --> 00:50:24.071
So out attitude is is there will be
50 sausages in fridge and a couple
00:50:24.071 --> 00:50:27.191
of loaves bread, and if people
come over they can have snags and.
00:50:28.001 --> 00:50:30.911
you know There'll there'll be other
stuff, but often we find if people
00:50:30.911 --> 00:50:33.161
come over, we end up with more
food than we started with anyway.
00:50:33.701 --> 00:50:34.751
Because all come and share.
00:50:35.051 --> 00:50:35.231
Yeah
00:50:35.561 --> 00:50:35.861
ZOOM0025_Tr1: Yeah.
00:50:35.921 --> 00:50:38.531
Don't be afraid to just
open up your house.
00:50:38.771 --> 00:50:39.761
Yeah, no,
00:50:39.941 --> 00:50:40.156
ZOOM0025_Tr2: that are
00:50:40.856 --> 00:50:41.066
Hmm
00:50:41.771 --> 00:50:42.551
ZOOM0025_Tr1: that's true.
00:50:42.611 --> 00:50:42.851
Yeah.
00:50:42.851 --> 00:50:46.211
Well, that's just a really wonderful
picture, I think for us to finish up
00:50:46.211 --> 00:50:49.841
on, that we're not just talking about
something we drop our kids off at.
00:50:50.291 --> 00:50:54.971
We're actually talking about ways that we
can be genuinely involved in our community
00:50:54.971 --> 00:50:59.471
and community organizations, sports
clubs, dance clubs, all sorts of things.
00:50:59.771 --> 00:51:02.831
So this has been a really
enriching conversation.
00:51:03.296 --> 00:51:04.706
So thank you to you both.
00:51:04.706 --> 00:51:08.576
Thank you Anthony, for coming and sharing
all your secret wisdom that you've
00:51:08.576 --> 00:51:14.066
gained, you and your wife, Michelle, over
years, um, of trial and error and being
00:51:14.066 --> 00:51:18.986
intentional and, uh, trying to do all
these things in a Christian way without,
00:51:19.086 --> 00:51:19.956
overdoing it.
00:51:20.796 --> 00:51:24.426
So we hope and pray that this has been
really helpful for everybody listening,
00:51:25.026 --> 00:51:29.166
and we hope that you'll join us next
time for another real conversation
00:51:29.226 --> 00:51:33.306
across the generations exploring
God's wisdom for modern families.
00:51:35.827 --> 00:51:39.107
Speaker 4: Timeless Parenting is
produced by YouthWorks in Sydney.
00:51:39.527 --> 00:51:44.187
Theme music by Ali McGrath, produced
by Ali McGrath and Gerard Masters.
00:51:45.087 --> 00:51:47.717
YouthWorks mission is to see an
effective youth and children's
00:51:47.717 --> 00:51:49.337
ministry in every church.
00:51:50.357 --> 00:51:51.727
For more information go to youthworks.
00:51:52.997 --> 00:51:53.147
net