Your Future Self

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Welcome to Thrive, Learn, Connect, the podcast where we talk about ways to find
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more joy, kindness, and connection in today's complex world. She's Jamie.
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And he's Max. Whether it's strengthening relationships, learning something new,
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or simply finding moments of peace in a busy world. We're going to talk about it.
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Before we start the conversation, we'd love for you to take a moment to follow, like, and share.
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It helps others connect with us. You can also follow us on Instagram.
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Now, let the conversation begin.
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Hey, Jamie.
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Hey, Max.
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What's on your mind?
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Guaranteed income for artists.
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Guaranteed income for artists?
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Yes.
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That's kind of cool.
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So, Ireland just passed a guaranteed income for artists.
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Yeah.
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Because, as you know, as an artist yourself, income can fluctuate so greatly.
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Absolutely.
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And yet the contribution that you're making to society is considerable.
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I think so, yeah.
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And Ireland did this big study where they realized that they actually get a three-fold return.
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Sure, that makes sense. Yeah.
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So by guaranteeing income for artists of all types, that what it does is it
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helps to promote artistry and creativity within society.
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It also helps people understand that what they are contributing is of value.
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And so I just thought that that was an interesting idea.
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So anyone out there listening who wants to support artists.
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I think it's a great idea. Well,
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you know, it's really interesting because there are studies that show that when
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arts are in a community, how much that brings to the community, not just enrichment.
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I mean, we think about enriching our lives through art and culture,
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but beyond that, the dollars that it brings in.
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You think about the Spokane Symphony here in town, which is a great symphony.
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Not only do they put on great concerts, but when people come in to see a concert,
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they're going to dinner, they're parking, they're maybe having drinks after,
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They're spending money in that community. Absolutely.
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And so the idea of, absolutely, it pays in some cases threefold.
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I think there are some pretty good statistics in the...
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In some of our government enterprises that tell you exactly how much it brings to a community.
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So, yeah, I think, you know, spending some of that money, continuing to foster,
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number one, that what I call the developing artist, the emerging artist and
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the established artist.
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Because by the time, hopefully by the time you become an established artist,
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maybe that guaranteed income isn't so much needed you've established.
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But when you're a developing artist, putting in, you know, what do they say,
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10,000 hours to become an expert at something,
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you know, it's a lot easier or at least it's a lot more effective putting those
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10,000 hours in in a concentrated amount of time rather than trying to pick
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away two or three hours while you're waiting tables, which I've done,
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you know, the number of different jobs I've had in order to foster my artistry.
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And so this gives the opportunity for people who feel that calling,
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right, to be able to go home.
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And explore the arts and do that. I think that's an incredible idea.
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I think it's an incredible idea. And I like the idea of placing value on those
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who contribute through art. Right. I really do.
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And you see it in pretty much every community, the beautiful public art that we have.
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Yes. Oh, we're so lucky.
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We are, yeah.
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Yeah. We live in a, you know, whether it's Coeur d'Alene, Spokane, the whole area.
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Yeah. We really are very fortunate in our public art.
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And you and I both know many of the public artists.
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Well, I think about Harold Blaise. I mean, oh my gosh, just what he contributed
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to our community is just phenomenal.
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So, yeah, having an opportunity to help support our artists in their pursuit
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of creativity and innovation. I love it.
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I love it.
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Thank you, Ireland. Sláinte.
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Yeah, exactly. That's great.
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Right on.
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Art is too important not to share. Tune into the fifth season of Ali and Callie
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Artcast for tales of art and culture in the Pacific Northwest.
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Working to keep art alive and culture relevant, we'd love to introduce you to
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those creative people who make it happen.
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Join us weekly for interviews, upcoming events, and more.
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Find us on any of your favorite podcast apps or visit our website at alicallieartcast.com.
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Be sure to like, follow, and subscribe.
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I'm Ali. And I'm Callie. And whatever you do today, make sure it's creative.
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So, Jamie, what are we talking about today?
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Your future self.
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Whoa. I know. That's so back to the future. I love it.
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So, I was thinking— You're Doc, and I'm Marty McFly. Exactly.
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How's that? I love that. I like that.
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I can be Doc so easily. You know,
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one of the things that I—we talk about so much on the show, of course,
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is thriving and how to make your life richer and fuller and more joyful. and all of that.
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And the thing is, is your future self is the person that you are always becoming.
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Right? Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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And I read this study that I found kind of fascinating, and that is that the
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brain treats your future self like a separate entity.
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Okay. So it thinks of you as someone else for your future.
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Right? Sure, sure, sure.
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And that's why things like visualization and all and picturing your future can
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be so helpful because you're actually rewiring your brain to achieve those results.
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Yeah, I always think about that. I call it the famous interview question.
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Where do you see yourself in five years? And that's that future self.
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And unless you have, unless you've thought about it with intention,
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that can be a very hard question to answer.
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It can be. It can be. And I also think that...
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We fail too often to understand that we need to create a relationship with our future self.
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Sure, yeah.
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And that when we do that, when we think of this separate entity as,
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well, how can I have this thriving connection with this other me,
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this other me?
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And I know that it came into play for me in a very specific way when I read this.
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And I'm trying to think, oh, shoot, Max, I'm going to blank out on his name,
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the author of Atomic Habits.
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Oh, yeah.
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Okay, so you all know who I'm talking about. So I was reading in one of his
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newsletters about this idea of what you do today is for your future self.
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Sure, yeah.
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So the habits that you create, the financial habits of saving some money,
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you're not saving it for you in the now.
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You're saving it for you in the future.
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You exercise now for you in the future, right? For the benefit of the future.
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But one of the ways, one of the things that clicked with me was little things
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that we do. And for me, it was doing the dishes.
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Sure, yeah, yeah.
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Do not like doing dishes.
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Oh, my gosh.
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I really don't. And sometimes at night, the dishes would just be sitting there in the kitchen. Sure.
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And it's like, I don't want to. The me right now doesn't want to.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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But then I said, but wait a minute, but the future me, the me in the morning,
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would really like coming out to a clean kitchen.
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Sure, yeah, yeah.
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So in developing a lovely relationship with my future self, now I do the dishes.
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There you go. Not for the now,
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But for the future me.
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Sure, yeah, yeah, that makes sense. I look at it as, I thought about it in terms
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of, there's another podcast I listened to by a guy named Rob Dial,
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And he says a lot of times,
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we do the hard things now, so in the future it will be easy. Exactly.
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And so you doing the dishes the night before is making it easy for the future.
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And I think we do that pretty regularly, you know, or we strive to do that, you know.
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And maybe we don't think about that in those terms, but, you know,
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you brought up financial, right?
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Yeah. Making sure, you know, I'm going to save 10% of my earnings, right?
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And so that your future self using the wonders of compound interest,
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right, will make sure in 10, 15, 30 years down the road, make it easier for you.
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And so, yeah, I think about that in terms all the time, you know,
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hoping, you know, I also look at my past self as a separate entity.
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Oh, yes, absolutely.
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You kind of look at it and go, what were you thinking?
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All the time. All the time. I'm thinking that, yes.
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So you wish, you know, if I had known, if I had known now, if I had known now what—
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If I had known then.
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What I know now. Yeah, that's how it goes. Yeah. You know, we're always thinking
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about that, going, oh. Yep.
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And wouldn't it be nice to have the wisdom—
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20, 30, 40 years ago to go, oh, you know, to, to go, okay, this is where you're
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going to be. Oh, I could have done this a little different.
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Absolutely. And yet there's also, of course, that thing of, well,
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the way you did it, you learned the lessons you needed to learn or learn things
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you might not have learned otherwise.
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Right. I mean, there's, so I don't want anybody to be bashing themselves or be hard.
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Because then you don't fail and in failure, you learn the best lessons
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Exactly exactly and and the opera
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you know we've talked about this in a prior episode
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which is having that experimental mindset right
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so well i think that it's important for us to develop good relationships with
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our future and our past selves as well as our current self i also think that
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the idea of curiosity definitely plays into this. That thing of...
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Well, what if I did this now? How will that benefit me in the future?
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Or if I don't do it, what consequences might that pay?
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But having some curiosity about it rather than trying to think that I have to
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be certain and sure. Because we can't be.
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No, no, no. There are going to be twists and turns in your chapters of life.
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That's the way I look at it. And I think if I were, you know,
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one of the things I would tell myself, my past self, my younger self,
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is that embrace those chapters.
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Don't be afraid of the chapters because they, you know, because in any good
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book, there are really exciting chapters that bring joy. And there are chapters
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that bring tragedy and sadness.
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Absolutely.
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And through that chapter, you'll get moved on to another one.
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Well, and I think that's another key for people is don't keep rereading the chapter you're on.
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You know, end it so you can move on to the new chapter, right?
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And don't be like me and try to read the ending first. I'm just saying.
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It is this lovely idea of, you know,
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Instead of saying, someday I'll be there, someday I'll be there,
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someday I will have plenty of money in the bank, someday I will be more fit,
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someday I will meet the right person or have the right job or whatever that
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fill in the blank is, right?
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Instead of thinking that way, say, all right, who do I want to be in the future?
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And what can I do now that moves me toward that, no matter how small?
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And it's like, well, this is the person I want to become.
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So what decisions can I make now that benefit that person? Yeah.
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I think one of the things I would tell myself is build vision boards.
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Oh, yes.
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That's, you know, of the future or, you know, the now and the future.
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Yeah. Because vision boards are what could my life look like? What will it look like?
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And so to be able to do that and to look beyond the five years, you know.
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Oh, yes. What will your life look like in 20 years, in 30 years?
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And so I'm smiling because in my office, I have a vision board that I made a number of years ago.
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And do you know what's on there, everybody?
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Podcasting. Podcasting. Oh, that's awesome. That's awesome.
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And it's one of the things I put on there is it says, love your job.
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And it's like, yeah, the person I want to be is somebody who loves what I'm doing. Yeah, yeah.
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And is creative and talks a lot. Yes.
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But I do believe in that. And of course, because part of what I do for clients
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and others is I create custom visualizations for people.
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I record them and offer to them the ability to sit and see themselves in the future.
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And I know they work for me. I know that being able to just walk and talk myself
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through a future addition has helped plant those seeds in my brain.
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Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, I think having that type of feedback,
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you know, and being able to give yourself that feedback,
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and I think is an amazing way to just reinforce where you want to go and where you want to be.
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And I think, you know, if you're not into visualization and that kind of thing,
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write a letter to yourself. Yeah.
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Write a letter to yourself now from your future self. Yeah.
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Thanking you for what you're doing now for them.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Right? And I think that's kind of a fun idea, too.
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Absolutely, yeah. I've seen, you know, that definitely is a curriculum in elementary
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schools where teachers have them write,
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like a second grader, write a letter to your senior self when you become a senior.
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In high school. That's so cool.
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It is cool. And anybody can do it. And it doesn't have to be a long and exhaustive letter.
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No, not at all.
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But I think it does help you put yourself in, you know, into that thought process
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of, again, the relationship with your future self.
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Yeah, yeah. And thinking about, okay, what can I, should I be doing now?
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Could I I'd be doing now that would,
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make it happen, right?
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Yeah.
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So, yeah, I love that.
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It seems so far away when you're, you know, 18 or in your 20s and 30s,
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but now talking from a senior self, you know, wow, that did not seem very long.
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It did not seem very long. And it didn't, and it does.
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Because I don't know if this is true for you, but when I think,
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so I'm on the other side of 60.
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When I stop and I think, oh, my goodness,
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how long ago that was, how much I have done in my life, how many people I've
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met and places I've been and all of that.
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And I don't know that I stopped specifically in my 20s or whatever to say,
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well, this is what I want to look like, be like when I'm 60.
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But when I look back now, I realize that, yeah, I was probably making decisions
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for a vision that I did have in my head.
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Sure. Yeah.
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Whether I made that, you know, perfectly clear on a piece of paper or not,
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I still had that in my mind.
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And now what's interesting to me is to sit here and say, okay,
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well, what do you want the 70s to look like? What do you want the 80s to look like?
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And it's a,
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So your future self doesn't stop just at retirement age.
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No, not at all. Not at all. Yeah.
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It keeps going. And I like that idea.
00:17:42.089 --> 00:17:47.329
Yeah, I was thinking about that. I was like, okay, I'm on the smaller side of 60.
00:17:47.349 --> 00:17:51.129
So I'm approaching that. And I'm thinking, well, what's next?
00:17:51.329 --> 00:17:55.989
What does the next chapter look like? What are some of my wellness goals?
00:17:56.129 --> 00:17:59.509
What are my goals for my relationship?
00:17:59.809 --> 00:18:04.649
What are, you know, things like that? And I think about when I was 20,
00:18:04.669 --> 00:18:08.949
I was pretty squarely focused on where I wanted to go.
00:18:09.909 --> 00:18:13.729
And I was role-driven in a career.
00:18:15.029 --> 00:18:18.049
But, you know, things happen. They do.
00:18:18.049 --> 00:18:23.069
And you take these turns. But I think the best thing is if you can create a
00:18:23.069 --> 00:18:26.869
path or a vision forward,
00:18:26.869 --> 00:18:35.149
it's easier to veer and change directions if you have – you can go sightsee here. Yes.
00:18:35.769 --> 00:18:38.869
You know, if I'm going on a trip, hey, let's go take a look at this.
00:18:38.969 --> 00:18:42.229
Or he's like, oh, let's go to a different place.
00:18:42.349 --> 00:18:46.229
Right. Let's make a change. Let's make a change.
00:18:46.229 --> 00:18:54.249
Well, for me, one of the things that I've done very recently is sat down and
00:18:54.249 --> 00:19:00.969
thought very carefully, all right, in my 20s, 30s, and even 40s, I was very role-driven.
00:19:00.969 --> 00:19:07.469
I was driven by the goal of achieving the title, the pay, the corner office,
00:19:07.549 --> 00:19:12.629
the things, the stuff, the accoutrement of life, right?
00:19:13.629 --> 00:19:15.929
Now I sit here and I think, well,
00:19:16.740 --> 00:19:24.480
I want to define my success very differently. Yeah, yeah. So how will I define it?
00:19:24.900 --> 00:19:30.540
So that when I do reach 70, I'm looking back and saying, yes, I was successful.
00:19:30.680 --> 00:19:33.000
Sure, yeah. By a very different definition.
00:19:33.300 --> 00:19:33.840
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:19:33.940 --> 00:19:37.980
And it's an interesting process to go through.
00:19:38.260 --> 00:19:41.580
One that I have found quite fulfilling and interesting.
00:19:41.760 --> 00:19:47.740
Yeah. Because it's like, oh, yeah, I still have a life to live.
00:19:47.840 --> 00:19:48.980
I still have things to contribute.
00:19:49.380 --> 00:19:57.220
I can still be a tourist in this game of life, in this adventure of life. And I like that idea.
00:19:57.220 --> 00:20:04.040
Yeah. I mean, yeah, we start to define success very differently through our
00:20:04.040 --> 00:20:06.340
experienced lenses. Absolutely.
00:20:06.700 --> 00:20:11.920
And I think that's, yeah, what is important? What do you see your future self
00:20:11.920 --> 00:20:15.700
valuing from here on out? Yeah.
00:20:16.140 --> 00:20:19.540
And I think that's a good point, because I think that would be something that
00:20:19.540 --> 00:20:25.020
I would want to communicate to my younger self, that it's really about the time.
00:20:25.742 --> 00:20:28.762
The chance to breathe yeah the the the
00:20:28.762 --> 00:20:32.362
idea of relationships over climbing
00:20:32.362 --> 00:20:35.382
always you know things like that having
00:20:35.382 --> 00:20:38.482
meaningful conversation and meaningful connections with
00:20:38.482 --> 00:20:45.622
people um i had um and this is when i started at at in my academic career a
00:20:45.622 --> 00:20:50.222
little later that um i took to heart this idea of swimming with dolphins rather
00:20:50.222 --> 00:20:58.282
than swimming with sharks and when my former self you In a more competitive atmosphere,
00:20:58.302 --> 00:21:00.382
it was more like swimming with sharks.
00:21:00.582 --> 00:21:08.262
And so I'm glad that my past self made that shift later, although later in life.
00:21:08.422 --> 00:21:13.382
But you think about those things and you're right. The values change.
00:21:13.662 --> 00:21:23.222
The paradigm shifts from being, I always say, you can either in the arts, you can be role-driven.
00:21:23.222 --> 00:21:28.342
It's this or nothing, or you can be arts-encompassing and going,
00:21:28.482 --> 00:21:31.542
okay, what opportunities are there out there?
00:21:31.662 --> 00:21:40.062
And I feel like when I'm doing this on video, I'm showing a very narrow focus on being role-driven.
00:21:41.462 --> 00:21:46.362
And my arms are open. If you're watching the video, my arms are open on being
00:21:46.362 --> 00:21:48.502
encompassing and driven.
00:21:48.762 --> 00:21:52.642
And I feel like as I'm getting older, I want to be more encompassing.
00:21:52.642 --> 00:21:53.322
Oh, absolutely.
00:21:53.802 --> 00:21:56.902
Of what's available and what's out there and connecting with folks. Yeah.
00:21:57.182 --> 00:22:01.302
I mean, just as you do that, you know, when you hold your arms open wide,
00:22:01.302 --> 00:22:04.762
it's because you want to embrace.
00:22:05.002 --> 00:22:11.002
Yeah. Right? You want to bring in and embrace what is available and what is out there.
00:22:11.542 --> 00:22:17.202
And I know that that's what I want for not only the me now, but for the me in the future.
00:22:17.502 --> 00:22:24.042
I want to keep embracing new experiences and new thoughts and new ideas and
00:22:24.042 --> 00:22:26.262
new people and new adventures.
00:22:28.263 --> 00:22:35.083
It comes down to, okay, what am I doing today to help me keep doing that?
00:22:35.323 --> 00:22:43.163
Sure, yeah. A friend of mine is about to embark on a month-long trip to Europe. She's never been.
00:22:43.183 --> 00:22:43.643
Nice, okay.
00:22:43.863 --> 00:22:52.243
And they're going to Italy and France and Spain and Portugal and England and all kinds of places.
00:22:52.923 --> 00:22:56.043
And she realized, she said, we're going to be doing a lot of walking.
00:22:56.603 --> 00:23:03.863
So, a few months ago, she said, I'd better start making sure I can do this.
00:23:04.583 --> 00:23:09.403
And that is the present self preparing for the future self, right?
00:23:10.283 --> 00:23:14.663
And of course, the journey for her also started many months ago,
00:23:14.743 --> 00:23:15.823
and it's like, well, I want to do this.
00:23:15.923 --> 00:23:18.343
How much money do I need to have available?
00:23:18.583 --> 00:23:21.423
And the planning, of course, that goes into it.
00:23:21.971 --> 00:23:27.291
And it doesn't have to be a grand trip to Europe, but I think it's important
00:23:27.291 --> 00:23:31.551
if we stop and think, the decision that I'm making right now,
00:23:31.611 --> 00:23:35.791
how does that impact me five, ten minutes,
00:23:36.251 --> 00:23:38.171
five, ten years from now?
00:23:38.291 --> 00:23:42.771
Yeah, yeah. I think about that a lot, especially with wellness goals.
00:23:42.891 --> 00:23:49.171
Oh, yeah. And I was like, what do I want my physical life to feel like and to
00:23:49.171 --> 00:23:50.951
be like 10 years from now?
00:23:51.331 --> 00:23:54.911
And really, it's about staying active.
00:23:55.111 --> 00:24:00.311
Yes. And maybe not as active as I was when I was 20 years old,
00:24:00.451 --> 00:24:04.151
but still maintaining some sense of movement,
00:24:04.511 --> 00:24:10.011
some sense of mobility, even more so than when I was in my 20s or 30s when you
00:24:10.011 --> 00:24:12.171
didn't really think about mobility, flexibility.
00:24:12.171 --> 00:24:15.311
You thought about, oh, I just need, I'm young.
00:24:15.411 --> 00:24:19.251
My muscles are still young and strong. I can do this. And now I'm thinking about,
00:24:19.451 --> 00:24:21.011
oh, I need to be able to touch my toes.
00:24:21.231 --> 00:24:25.371
I need to be able to, yeah, if I want to go on a trip where I'm going to be
00:24:25.371 --> 00:24:26.891
doing a lot of walking. Yes.
00:24:27.051 --> 00:24:29.311
I got to keep moving. I've got to keep moving.
00:24:30.611 --> 00:24:33.851
And, again, the change of the definition, right?
00:24:33.851 --> 00:24:39.571
Sure. So what being physically fit meant when you were 20 versus what being
00:24:39.571 --> 00:24:46.031
fit now means, right? And for me, it's all about flexibility and strength.
00:24:46.351 --> 00:24:51.131
So as long as I'm strong enough to lift the luggage, put it in the overhead
00:24:51.131 --> 00:24:57.231
bin and keep flexible, I can get up without assistance and move and all of that.
00:24:57.391 --> 00:25:00.191
Those are, that's good. Great. Wonderful.
00:25:00.711 --> 00:25:05.911
I don't need to be able to deadlift 150 pounds. Thank you very much.
00:25:06.051 --> 00:25:11.671
But the idea still, I think that we overlook too often Thank you.
00:25:12.276 --> 00:25:22.736
Is that every decision that we are making is impacting us in some way in the future.
00:25:23.096 --> 00:25:27.656
And that those decisions have a ripple effect. Because if you think about,
00:25:27.756 --> 00:25:29.556
again, just physical fitness, right?
00:25:29.896 --> 00:25:34.056
You want to be able to be fit and limber and...
00:25:34.736 --> 00:25:41.296
Well into your older age so that your children don't have to take care of you. Yeah, yeah. Right?
00:25:42.056 --> 00:25:52.376
To be financially secure so that you're not hurting and struggling. Yeah, yeah.
00:25:52.696 --> 00:25:57.856
And that all of those decisions, all of those end results, rather,
00:25:57.996 --> 00:25:59.556
begin with your decisions today.
00:25:59.696 --> 00:26:00.616
Sure, yeah, yeah.
00:26:00.636 --> 00:26:03.556
Yeah, and not just yours, Max's. I mean, all of ours.
00:26:03.556 --> 00:26:06.656
All of ours, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you, Jamie. I'll work on it. I promise.
00:26:07.796 --> 00:26:11.916
Yeah, no, I think you're right. It encompasses so many aspects of our life.
00:26:12.036 --> 00:26:17.016
I also think about things like our emotional life.
00:26:17.156 --> 00:26:21.216
What is that going to feel like? And because I know, you know,
00:26:21.336 --> 00:26:26.976
we all know as we get older, we experience loss. And we're going to experience
00:26:26.976 --> 00:26:28.936
more and more loss the older we get.
00:26:29.116 --> 00:26:35.416
And I think about that in terms of how do I prepare my future self for that
00:26:35.416 --> 00:26:39.256
sense of loss? How do I frame it?
00:26:39.416 --> 00:26:43.776
You feel the emotions, you feel the pain, you feel the sorrow of the loss.
00:26:43.936 --> 00:26:49.776
But how do you prepare yourself to experience the joy of the past,
00:26:49.976 --> 00:26:52.536
the joy of the future, the joy of legacy?
00:26:52.536 --> 00:26:59.656
And so I think about that a lot is how am I preparing myself emotionally for my future self?
00:26:59.876 --> 00:27:08.076
I love that. And of course, you know, that idea applies to so many things and so many stages of life.
00:27:08.396 --> 00:27:12.776
You've been through this as your children get older and leave the nest,
00:27:12.836 --> 00:27:17.796
that transition period, the loss of the role of being the day-to-day dad,
00:27:18.196 --> 00:27:22.716
right? versus being the dad now of adults out doing their thing.
00:27:23.076 --> 00:27:25.656
And the idea that,
00:27:26.139 --> 00:27:29.899
That we can prepare ourselves emotionally.
00:27:30.199 --> 00:27:34.239
We can build our emotional muscle. Sure. I like that a lot.
00:27:34.779 --> 00:27:41.439
Yeah. And I've experienced that. And I'm fortunate that I get phone calls from
00:27:41.439 --> 00:27:44.839
my kids who are out of town pretty regularly.
00:27:45.239 --> 00:27:51.079
And the one, my big goal is to listen more than advise.
00:27:51.279 --> 00:27:56.499
I love that. And that's always been, and ask questions and just be curious about
00:27:56.499 --> 00:28:00.579
their lives and open about their lives and accepting.
00:28:00.859 --> 00:28:06.579
And that brings me so much joy because it is different than the everyday of
00:28:06.579 --> 00:28:10.479
take out the garbage, do the dishes, did you make your bed?
00:28:10.599 --> 00:28:17.239
You know, asking these questions of did you check off your to-do list of being
00:28:17.239 --> 00:28:21.739
a responsible person, you know, rather than what's exciting in your life?
00:28:21.859 --> 00:28:22.959
What are you experiencing?
00:28:23.159 --> 00:28:25.419
And I really do enjoy that transition.
00:28:25.699 --> 00:28:30.419
That's beautiful. That is. And again, there's that word again, curiosity.
00:28:30.939 --> 00:28:37.119
You know, getting curious about them and their lives, as well as curious about your own.
00:28:37.279 --> 00:28:39.339
I think it's so important.
00:28:39.679 --> 00:28:45.139
And the other thing that comes to mind, because it's a word we talk about a lot, is kindness.
00:28:45.639 --> 00:28:47.539
Being kind to yourself.
00:28:48.591 --> 00:28:55.531
Of course, as we age, as life unravels, or excuse me, you know,
00:28:55.751 --> 00:29:00.551
evolves, that there are things we have no control over.
00:29:00.831 --> 00:29:01.771
Right? Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:29:01.831 --> 00:29:08.211
And we can make a decision today that we think is going to benefit our future self. Yeah, yeah.
00:29:08.271 --> 00:29:14.491
And then there can be circumstances over which we have no control that change that outcome.
00:29:14.651 --> 00:29:21.771
Yeah. And to have the emotional intelligence and the resilience to be able to handle it is important.
00:29:22.131 --> 00:29:26.411
Yeah, yeah. But it's also, I think, very important to understand that we have
00:29:26.411 --> 00:29:30.011
to give ourselves grace. Yeah. We're not in control of every little thing.
00:29:30.111 --> 00:29:36.511
Yeah, absolutely. I have a, maybe it's a hot take, maybe, as the younger people call it.
00:29:36.811 --> 00:29:43.171
But one of the reasons I place an importance on physical wellness is because
00:29:43.171 --> 00:29:45.491
I've known a lot of people who are in pain.
00:29:45.871 --> 00:29:51.411
And that has a direct impact on how they respond to situations.
00:29:51.671 --> 00:29:56.571
Yes. And the ability to be kind. When you're not feeling well and you're in
00:29:56.571 --> 00:30:01.551
pain, I think you have to work even harder to try to be kind.
00:30:01.831 --> 00:30:07.811
I agree. And so everything is connected, folks. It is. It's all connected.
00:30:08.311 --> 00:30:13.971
You know, if you, again, if you look to your future self and how do you want
00:30:13.971 --> 00:30:19.131
to set your future self up for total success, emotional, physical,
00:30:19.491 --> 00:30:23.191
financial, you know, all the intellectual success.
00:30:23.311 --> 00:30:30.551
Right. How do you do that so that you can see beyond that and treat people with kindness?
00:30:31.231 --> 00:30:32.191
And treat people with kindness. And treat yourself kindness.
00:30:32.411 --> 00:30:36.171
When you're doing this, you are being kind to yourself, your future self.
00:30:36.751 --> 00:30:41.671
Absolutely. And I think that one of the challenges,
00:30:42.785 --> 00:30:45.965
things that comes with that at least what pops into my mind is
00:30:45.965 --> 00:30:48.825
there is great freedom and freedom
00:30:48.825 --> 00:30:52.285
is an important word to so many of us that there
00:30:52.285 --> 00:30:55.105
is a great freedom if i am more
00:30:55.105 --> 00:30:59.665
physically mobile the longer i can be physically mobile i have greater freedom
00:30:59.665 --> 00:31:06.245
sure yeah the more intellectually sound i am i have more freedom yes the more
00:31:06.245 --> 00:31:11.745
um financially secure sure more freedom more freedom And so I look at,
00:31:11.845 --> 00:31:13.305
and of course, emotional,
00:31:13.545 --> 00:31:17.585
the more emotional balance and regulation I have in my life,
00:31:17.785 --> 00:31:24.545
the freer I am, because I am then not a slave to finances, to health,
00:31:24.985 --> 00:31:28.045
to others, other people's reactions, et cetera, and so on.
00:31:28.045 --> 00:31:36.185
So I look at this as I want to be a person in my 60s, 70s, 80s,
00:31:36.345 --> 00:31:42.425
beyond whatever comes, as free as possible for as long as possible.
00:31:42.585 --> 00:31:44.525
Yeah, yeah. So that's how I'm looking at it.
00:31:44.565 --> 00:31:50.285
That's awesome. So we talked about all the things that we're looking at.
00:31:50.285 --> 00:31:56.025
Yeah. What are a couple of takeaways, I think, I mean, that we can tell our,
00:31:56.245 --> 00:32:01.465
well, anybody at any point in their life can work on their future self.
00:32:01.605 --> 00:32:06.325
You can. And for me, it's take a moment now.
00:32:06.485 --> 00:32:10.125
Take a moment now to meet your future self.
00:32:10.265 --> 00:32:13.485
Whether you do that through visualization, writing a letter,
00:32:13.665 --> 00:32:19.525
or just sitting down and truly letting yourself think about things, right?
00:32:19.525 --> 00:32:26.665
And to picture that future you, not as a stranger, right?
00:32:26.945 --> 00:32:29.745
Because we want to have that good relationship with them.
00:32:29.925 --> 00:32:33.565
But as a friend who's cheering you on.
00:32:33.705 --> 00:32:40.905
They want the best for you in the now so that they can be the best.
00:32:44.162 --> 00:32:48.502
So, Jamie, what are some things that anyone can do, whether they're,
00:32:48.582 --> 00:32:54.602
you know, in their 20s or 30s or like us, teetering between 60?
00:32:54.762 --> 00:32:59.622
What are some things that we can, strategies we can do to kind of help our future self?
00:32:59.902 --> 00:33:04.422
Well, I think the first thing is to make friends with your future self.
00:33:04.522 --> 00:33:09.222
Sure. Instead of imagining your future self as a stranger you haven't met yet,
00:33:09.402 --> 00:33:15.362
to imagine them as a friend who is cheering you on in the here and the now, right?
00:33:15.702 --> 00:33:20.922
Because they want you to succeed now so that they will succeed in the future.
00:33:21.142 --> 00:33:29.082
So the first is to have that idea that your future self is not something to
00:33:29.082 --> 00:33:32.002
be afraid of or a stranger to fear. It's a friend.
00:33:32.262 --> 00:33:35.362
Yeah. And then choose one action.
00:33:35.582 --> 00:33:35.982
Okay.
00:33:36.142 --> 00:33:40.162
One thing that your future self will thank you for.
00:33:41.782 --> 00:33:45.982
And don't feel like it has to be a little of everything. Yeah. Just one.
00:33:46.222 --> 00:33:50.882
Yeah. So if you say, well, I want to have, you know, I want to be more mobile.
00:33:50.962 --> 00:33:51.682
Go for a walk.
00:33:52.662 --> 00:33:55.922
Decide that that's what you're going to do. Decide that you're going to save
00:33:55.922 --> 00:33:59.142
a little bit more. Whatever it might be, take that action.
00:33:59.362 --> 00:34:00.842
I think mine would be floss more.
00:34:01.482 --> 00:34:05.042
Floss more? We can talk about that, Max.
00:34:07.822 --> 00:34:09.842
Well, yes, I think so.
00:34:09.842 --> 00:34:10.582
I think so, yeah.
00:34:10.682 --> 00:34:14.142
And I think the other thing is then to...
00:34:15.742 --> 00:34:19.762
Also understand that some, so we've been talking about very active things to
00:34:19.762 --> 00:34:23.722
do, right? Sure, yeah, yeah. But sometimes it's get more rest, take more breaks.
00:34:23.802 --> 00:34:24.282
Yeah, yeah.
00:34:24.282 --> 00:34:27.982
So I want everybody to remember that it's not always being more active.
00:34:28.202 --> 00:34:30.282
Sure, yeah. But sometimes it's being less active.
00:34:30.282 --> 00:34:30.962
Taking time.
00:34:31.082 --> 00:34:31.742
Taking time.
00:34:32.162 --> 00:34:34.962
Appreciating time. To breathe. Yeah. Learning how to breathe.
00:34:35.122 --> 00:34:37.682
Breathe, please. Yes, we will learn how to breathe, everybody.
00:34:39.122 --> 00:34:46.522
So I think that's it. just make friends with your future self and choose one action all.
00:34:46.522 --> 00:34:47.362
Right i love that
00:34:48.082 --> 00:34:50.642
All right thanks Max you're.
00:34:50.642 --> 00:34:51.402
Welcome thank you
00:34:51.402 --> 00:34:52.342
Jamie all right.