The Steve Lentini Interview: Authentic Selling That Wins

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Welcome to the Toilet Paper Salesman Podcast.
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My name is Mike Mirarchi, and I'm really happy to have Steve Lentini on my show today.
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And uh Steve, I'm gonna give you a quick introduction.
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You're an adult man of Italian descent, a master sales trainer who has 38 plus years in the field, known for spot-on, powerful presentations, seminars, and keynote addresses that are effective and entertaining, savvy, street smart, dynamic, producer of results, imparts information that can be immediately used for increasing the bottom line.
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And with that, Steve, welcome to the podcast.
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Oh, thank you.
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Thank you, Mike.
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We've worked together for a long time, off and on, and actually then existed in the same field and didn't cross paths all that often because it was different territories.
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But yeah, it's it's an interesting business to be selling toilet paper, amongst other things.
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And I love your book, by the way.
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You know, wisdom from a toilet paper salesman.
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I have it here so people know, by the way.
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And I've got it flagged.
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I've got things that I love.
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Uh I'm a writer, and so I love when authors express stories like you did, because it hits home and they can see that you you're not just telling them what to do, you're telling them what you did.
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The story I tell is my grandfather made wine, and you can appreciate this.
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Yeah.
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Incredible homemade wine.
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Yeah.
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But he would never let anybody in the basement.
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And so when he passed, the recipe was gone.
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And so now nobody knows how to make this incredible wine.
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And so having gone through 40 plus years of sales and failing miserably from time to time and having great successes and all of those things, you know, you want to impart that knowledge and wisdom to other people so that it's around forever, right?
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So that you know, my grandson and your grandkids and the younger people that we're trying to attract into our industry can learn and learn from our mistakes and learn from our successes.
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Yeah.
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And AI won't replace the toilet paper salesman.
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No.
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Nor will he replace the acorn brain.
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Well, he might.
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Maybe gradually.
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Yeah.
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I'll tell you when it goes away, when we leave this world for what's next.
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That's right.
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There's this little voice does not go with us, at least in my experience.
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And we'll talk a little bit about that later.
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We will.
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So, uh Steve, why don't you just tell us a little bit about your story and how you got into the industry and a little bit about how you got to where you are now?
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Sure.
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My brother Frank worked for the Kelsey Paper Company and eventually bought it.
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But by the time he bought it, I was working at a bank.
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And uh he called me and said, Hey, you want to come work for me?
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I said, Sure.
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That's it.
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That was the answer.
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And I'm driving two weeks later, so I give my notice.
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Two weeks later, I'm driving down to Middletown, Connecticut, and it occurred to me, hey, what am I gonna do?
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I have this job working for my brother.
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And the second thing is, what am I gonna get paid?
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I had never asked him what I was gonna get paid.
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So I get there and he says, Well, you're gonna be on the road.
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I'm gonna introduce you to my customers.
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You're gonna be in sales.
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And then I said, Well, what do I get paid?
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He said, Commission.
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And I said, What's that?
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And he explained it was a percent of every sale based on the profit.
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And I said, Okay, I'm gonna learn this because at a bank there was no commission, right?
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We're gonna bring you in the vault, Steve, and you can take what you can what you want for the week.
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There was no commission.
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So, anyway, I I went out on the road and um he showed me the pretty traditional training that people had had for years.
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And so this was 1975, so I'm dating myself.
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Anyway, it was features, advantages, benefits, and then the tap dance at the end.
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You want to sign here?
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Press hard.
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There's five copies.
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Because by the way, we we didn't have computers, and uh it was literally carbon paper, and I didn't like it.
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So after about six months of knocking on doors where I had customers and they loved us, and they and I got to know them, I had to go make new calls.
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So, in the business-to-business world, that toilet paper and janitorial supplies and packaging supply salespeople, they you got to go make a new call.
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And back then you could walk in, you could just walk in.
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Some of that's changed dramatically.
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I s I would surmise maybe in the food service world, it's still the same.
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You could still walk in and to a restaurant, and we sold cleaning supplies, paper packaging supplies for uh restaurants and factories, and we sold supplies for hospitals and nursing homes.
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And so we could also sell almost any customer, which meant I had to learn to focus.
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But in the early days, I called on everybody.
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And I started asking people when I got there hey, you're already buying everything I sell.
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Do you even want another salesperson calling on you?
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It was something that I later called the obvious.
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Become a master of the obvious.
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Look around.
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Don't try to say, hey, I'm Jim Beam from the XYZ paper company, and we do this and that, and this and that.
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And you know, we got 29 trucks.
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And the people didn't care.
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You could see their eyes glow glazing over.
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They were shocked when I said, Do you even want another salesperson?
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And they'd answer the question.
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Sometimes they'd say, No.
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And I'd say, Well, my brother's my boss.
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So some I would ask people, is that for now or forever?
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And then when when they said forever, a couple of guys said for forever.
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And I said, Well, my boss is my brother, and he thinks forever is three months.
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Do you mind if I stop in three or four times a year?
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And most would chuckle, do what you're doing, and say, No, no, you can stop in.
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And what if I have a new idea?
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Oh, yeah, sure, stop in if you got something new.
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Okay.
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The ones that said, Yeah, no, I don't mind having another salesperson.
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The next thing I'd say, well, how long have you been with the company that you're buying from?
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And they'd tell me.
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And if they said 10 years, I'd say, wait a minute, is it the same salesperson?
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Yeah.
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You have coffee with him from time to time?
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Yeah.
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Does he buy food from you?
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You know, does he come in and shop here or does he have a meal?
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Yeah.
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What are you going to say to him?
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Let's suppose I get the business.
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What are you going to say to this person?
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And they'd have to stop and think about it and say, Oh, yeah, okay.
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Well, you know, if you got a new idea, why don't you stop in?
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They weren't going to give me the business.
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But if they said, well, I've been with somebody for a couple of years, I said, Now, how often have you changed?
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I've changed three or four times.
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That was also a red flag because maybe they were only going to give me a couple of years.
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But I would take a shot, right?
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So I'd say, All right, so then how do you do this?
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Well, here's a price list.
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Give me all your prices.
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Here's an inventory list.
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Price everything out.
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I said, No, I don't do that.
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So, what do you mean?
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I said, Well, first of all, it's going to take me a couple of hours because back then, no computers, right?
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It's going to take me a couple hours.
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And then let's suppose that I'm lower on a few things.
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What happens then?
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A lot of people, and you know this.
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Well, I'll show my guy.
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I'll show the gal I'm buying from and see if they can meet it.
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I said, that's why I don't do it.
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I don't do priceless.
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I said, so they'd say, Well, what do you do?
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So why don't you take me back?
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Let's go look at your items.
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So I'd get in the back and I'd say, take me through your top 10 items.
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And they would.
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And if when they got to number one, or if they took me right away to the number one item, if I knew there was something better, I'd say, Really, that's your number one item?
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What are you putting in that?
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Is that helping your sales?
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What's it?
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Because there were ways, of course, and you know, right, they could have packaged the product better.
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And it caused people to have just a thought.
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It was, it caused them to a pattern interrupt.
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And we'd talk about the deeper purpose of that container or that packaging was to either protect the item or help make it look good so that they could sell it and make a margin.
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And they didn't care if the container cost 10 cents more, 11 cents more, if they could add a 50 cents to the price of something that looked good.
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So anyway, by having real conversations, I started to make a lot of sales.
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And by asking people right up front, you're already buying everything I've got.
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Why would you even want me?
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Because, first of all, I'm respecting their time, right?
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Why should I continue to knock on their door if that's not what they want?
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And it's things that you talked about in your book because it's building trust with people.
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I'm not there to overwhelm them and be a showman and then lower all their prices and three months later raise their prices or four months later.
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And people were doing that in those days.
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So anyway, I started to build in the first segment of my sales career relationships with honesty and being authentic because I didn't want to do the dance.
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And then later on, I realized I've got to spend my time with different people to grow.
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It was easy to call on a pizza parlor or a sub shop or a bakery because their doors were open.
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And I started calling on manufacturing and hospitals, thinking about how much larger the sales would be.
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You know, we all, as new salespeople come in, everybody hits a wall, right?
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So how do you create more space?
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And that's really what you need to do is you know, you can't only fill a glass of water so much, and you need to pour some out in order to get some more in.
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And so we talk a lot about in territory management, looking at your accounts on who's your A, B, C, D accounts, who are your best accounts that of course you want to work with, and who are the ones that maybe you ought to move from, or maybe you ought to pass them on to someone else, or create some space so that you can now focus on more of those better customers, like the hospitals and industrial accounts.
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Yeah, it's like pruning.
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As a kid, I worked in an apple orchard, and uh every fall they would prune the trees after the harvest.
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You know, in November, there we would go there for a couple of weeks and and prune the trees, and they would show us how to do it.
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And sometimes they did things they called a money cut.
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And when the farmer took us out, and it was it was a big farm in Middlefield, Connecticut, the Lyman family still owns it.
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Wonderful people.
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Anyway, they'd make they'd show you making a cut, and you'd go, that's a big branch.
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And even if from memory you said, well, it had a lot of peaches on it and a lot of apples on it, because you know, working in the field all year long, they'd say, Well, that's the money cut.
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From that branch, there'll be four more branches when we cut it, and it'll it'll produce even more.
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And salespeople didn't don't often think of their territories that way, is to prune a few things like you just pointed out.
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So I did the same thing.
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I pruned certain things out and made sure that I spent time with customers that could give me a bigger return on my time.
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And in the beginning, I didn't, right?
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In the beginning, I was I wanted to get out there and show my brother I could do it, and I learned it the hard way.
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At some point, I realized, to your point, I've I've got I've got to make more room.
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I've got to create space to call on different people.
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And so I just started calling on people less frequently, the smaller ones, and spent more time with the larger accounts, and it worked.
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And later on, I sold my company to a big company.
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So there's a story in between there.
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My brother Frank wanted to buy another company in Hartford, Connecticut.
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And the bank told him no, it was just the beginning of the inflation of the 77, 78, 79.
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So 78, the bank said, Well, why don't you sell it?
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Why don't you have your brother go buy it?
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Put some capital up.
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And I partnered with another brother.
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We bought the company in Hartford with the idea that we'd merge with my brother in Middletown four or five years later.
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And the bank approved it.
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And I bought a little company in Hartford.
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And five years later, I sold that to Eastern Bag and Paper, a big company at the time, and then started managing people and doing other things, marketing and selling larger accounts, which was really a gift.
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Did you work for Eastern Bank for a while?
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Yes, 16 years.
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Oh wow.
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Okay.
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16 years, and then they asked me to go to Massachusetts, and uh I did.
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I went to Massachusetts and started uh the a Salem branch, a New England branch.
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So you're 16 years into Eastern Bag, and then what happened?
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So I decided that I wanted to do sales training, but before that happened, I had some amazing sales I wanted to share with you.
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Please.
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Uh one of the salespeople in Massachusetts wanted to get into Harvard, and I said, Well, that's funny, because on the way up here, I thought maybe I'll close Harvard and some of the big real estate companies, right?
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Just having the thought, driving up for my first day.
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And uh what what the company had purchased was a struggling company.
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It was sales were going backwards, and the first three or four months, actually, they continued down.
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So, flash forward a couple of years later, we're established in the marketplace, the company had started to grow very nicely, and uh, one of my salespeople got a got an appointment at a big university.
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And we go there and we sit down, our butts weren't warm in the chair, and the buyer said, Hey, I just want to let you know we could never give you the business.
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And we were like, and my salesperson wanted to go right into response, like, what do you mean?
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Don't you know who we are?
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We're one of the big companies.
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We just moved into Massachusetts, we can save you a lot of money.
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I put a handout and said, That's fine.
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I'm just a little curious.
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How come we got an appointment?
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Heard a lot about you guys, wanted to get to know you a little bit.
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Okay, what did you hear?
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She said, Well, some good, some bad.
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I said, Well, give me the bad.
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She told me.
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And I said, Some of that's true.
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Where'd you hear it?
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Your competitors.
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And I said, Well, what about the good?
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She gave me the good.
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And I said, You know what?
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Some of that's true, some of it's not.
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Where'd you hear that?
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You're customers.
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Then I said, Since we're not going to get the business, do you mind telling me what's happening?
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And she said, Well, we're going from 16 suppliers with some that we've done business for over 30 years, and we're going to go to one.
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How could we ever give it to you?
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And I said to her, her name is Linda.
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I said, Linda, I wouldn't give it to us if I were you.
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You'd have a lot of hard, you'd have a hard time explaining that.
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How'd you give the business to a company that you've never done any business with?
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The president of the college probably would have strung her up.
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So anyway, she told me the whole story, and they were competing at that time with outside cleaners.
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The president of the university had invited outside cleaners to bid on the different campuses for cleaning and other services, snow removal, everything.
00:15:07.639 --> 00:15:09.639
And so she was worried about her survival.
00:15:09.639 --> 00:15:14.120
And she told me the contract cleaners are paying less wages than we are as a university.
00:15:14.120 --> 00:15:17.159
I'm I'm afraid that I'm going to lose a lot of employees.
00:15:17.159 --> 00:15:22.919
The cleaning company has said they'll take some, but again, my employees are going to have to take a wage cut.
00:15:22.919 --> 00:15:24.840
So she was worried about survival.
00:15:24.840 --> 00:15:27.159
And I said, you know, it sounds like you need a partner.
00:15:27.159 --> 00:15:28.200
And she said, What's that?
00:15:28.200 --> 00:15:30.200
And I said, Well, don't you have a process?
00:15:30.200 --> 00:15:31.559
Aren't you bringing all the 16?
00:15:31.559 --> 00:15:32.679
How are you going to get to one?
00:15:32.679 --> 00:15:34.679
She said, Yes, we got a process.
00:15:34.679 --> 00:15:35.799
We're going to bring them all in.
00:15:35.799 --> 00:15:43.080
We're going to go from 16 to 9, from 9 to 6, 6 to 3, and then down to one.
00:15:43.080 --> 00:15:47.399
So they had a plan of a pretty lengthy process to make that decision.
00:15:47.399 --> 00:15:50.440
And I said, Well, if you don't hear the word partnership, call me.
00:15:50.440 --> 00:15:51.320
She said, You're right.
00:15:51.320 --> 00:15:52.600
I'm going to interview them all, maybe.
00:15:52.600 --> 00:15:54.600
I said, I can't believe one wouldn't have the idea.
00:15:54.600 --> 00:15:56.039
She said, Yeah, you're right.
00:15:56.039 --> 00:15:56.519
Okay.
00:15:56.519 --> 00:15:59.799
And my salesperson on the way home wanted to knife me.
00:15:59.799 --> 00:16:03.960
And I said, I explained, you have to allow people wherever they are.
00:16:03.960 --> 00:16:05.639
Fighting her wouldn't have been good.
00:16:05.639 --> 00:16:13.720
And when she explained the story, when the buyer explained the story and the pressure she was under, there was no way we were going to convince her we should be there.
00:16:13.720 --> 00:16:17.320
But the but listening to the story, I knew she did need a partner.
00:16:17.320 --> 00:16:19.720
And we sold a lot of contract leaners.
00:16:19.720 --> 00:16:22.039
So two weeks later, I get a phone call.
00:16:22.039 --> 00:16:23.159
And it's from Linda.
00:16:23.159 --> 00:16:23.960
Linda?
00:16:23.960 --> 00:16:27.399
She said, Steve, what are you doing next Tuesday?
00:16:27.399 --> 00:16:28.120
Could you come in?
00:16:28.120 --> 00:16:28.840
I said, Sure.
00:16:28.840 --> 00:16:29.799
Why am I coming in?
00:16:29.799 --> 00:16:31.720
She said, I want to hear about your partner idea.
00:16:31.720 --> 00:16:34.360
I said, You mean to tell me no one had that idea?
00:16:34.360 --> 00:16:36.200
You've seen all 16 people.
00:16:36.200 --> 00:16:37.879
Yes, no one had that idea.
00:16:37.879 --> 00:16:39.639
I said, Yeah, I'll come in Tuesday.
00:16:39.639 --> 00:16:40.679
Would you do me a favor?
00:16:40.679 --> 00:16:42.840
And I said, I know it's a crazy ask.
00:16:42.840 --> 00:16:43.879
She said, What's that?
00:16:43.879 --> 00:16:46.360
I said, Would you make me number 17 on the list?
00:16:46.360 --> 00:16:47.720
And she said, Yes.
00:16:47.720 --> 00:16:52.679
And you know, there's more to that story, but three months later, we had the business.
00:16:52.679 --> 00:16:54.519
As the only supplier.
00:16:54.519 --> 00:16:55.720
Yeah.
00:16:55.720 --> 00:16:56.279
Wow.
00:16:56.279 --> 00:16:59.240
And we st and it stunned all the suppliers.
00:16:59.240 --> 00:17:01.480
And a few of them shot themselves in the foot.
00:17:01.480 --> 00:17:06.039
When the letter went out that we were named, they called her up and said, What are you doing?
00:17:06.039 --> 00:17:09.720
We've been doing business with you for 30 years, 25 years, 20 years.
00:17:09.720 --> 00:17:11.320
How could you name these people?
00:17:11.320 --> 00:17:15.639
She said, Three people eliminated themselves with the first letter.
00:17:15.639 --> 00:17:20.759
So a few months later, and I had spent time on the BOMA, the building owners and managers board.
00:17:20.759 --> 00:17:23.319
I ran the vendor cocktail parties.
00:17:23.319 --> 00:17:25.880
And a guy came up to me.
00:17:25.880 --> 00:17:29.480
His name was Pete, and he looked at my name badge, Eastern Bag and Paper.
00:17:29.480 --> 00:17:32.440
He said, Oh, Eastern Bag and Paper, we could never buy from you.
00:17:32.440 --> 00:17:36.839
And he gave me that energy, and I said, Pete, I looked at his name tag.
00:17:36.839 --> 00:17:38.839
Pete, how do you know I'd sell you?
00:17:38.839 --> 00:17:41.720
And he said, What do you mean?
00:17:41.720 --> 00:17:43.640
He do you know who we are?
00:17:43.640 --> 00:17:45.000
Do you know how much we buy?
00:17:45.000 --> 00:17:46.680
I said, Wait, wait, wait, Pete.
00:17:46.680 --> 00:17:47.960
I don't want to upset you.
00:17:47.960 --> 00:17:50.839
I'm sorry if I did, but let me ask you a question.
00:17:50.839 --> 00:17:52.119
Do you sell everybody?
00:17:52.119 --> 00:17:52.680
No.
00:17:52.680 --> 00:17:53.400
Why?
00:17:53.400 --> 00:17:54.920
He said, Some are big enough.
00:17:54.920 --> 00:17:56.200
Some don't pay the bills at times.
00:17:56.200 --> 00:17:57.559
Some I said, there you go.
00:17:57.559 --> 00:17:58.920
I don't even know you.
00:17:58.920 --> 00:18:03.079
And he said, Well, I said, Why'd you say you could never give us the business?
00:18:03.079 --> 00:18:05.799
He said, I got nine suppliers and I'm going to one.
00:18:05.799 --> 00:18:09.079
And I started looking around to see if God was right next to me.
00:18:09.079 --> 00:18:11.319
Because that was like, what?
00:18:11.319 --> 00:18:13.720
It sounds a little familiar.
00:18:13.720 --> 00:18:16.279
So I said, Pete, I understand it.
00:18:16.279 --> 00:18:22.200
If you need some help, because there's some intricacies about volume and getting pricing from manufacturers.
00:18:22.200 --> 00:18:25.400
I said, distributors can get contract pricing.
00:18:25.400 --> 00:18:28.119
So if you want to send it to me, I'll look it over.
00:18:28.119 --> 00:18:29.240
I'll send it back to you.
00:18:29.240 --> 00:18:30.519
I'll give you my thoughts.
00:18:30.519 --> 00:18:31.799
No obligation.
00:18:31.799 --> 00:18:33.000
So he did.
00:18:33.000 --> 00:18:40.279
And I sent it back to him with consolidated volumes because he had like nine paper manufacturers.
00:18:40.279 --> 00:18:43.960
He had like five trash bag brands.
00:18:43.960 --> 00:18:49.079
He had all kinds of chemicals from like eight or nine suppliers of chemicals.
00:18:49.079 --> 00:18:52.839
So Pete, you're going to have to condense this and then send it out.
00:18:52.839 --> 00:18:55.240
So I sent it back to him and he called me back.
00:18:55.240 --> 00:18:56.839
He said, Hey, can I add you to the list?
00:18:56.839 --> 00:18:58.200
I know it's a long shot.
00:18:58.200 --> 00:19:03.480
He added me to the list and he he mailed out the bid with a lot of the recommendations.
00:19:03.480 --> 00:19:07.720
He didn't take all my recommendations, but he took the he took the majority of them.
00:19:07.720 --> 00:19:10.519
And so I put in a bid.
00:19:10.519 --> 00:19:14.039
He called me up about two weeks later and said, Steve, you're not the lowest.
00:19:14.039 --> 00:19:15.319
And I didn't say anything.
00:19:15.319 --> 00:19:16.200
I said, okay.
00:19:16.200 --> 00:19:17.559
He because he waited.
00:19:17.559 --> 00:19:19.559
There was dead silence on the phone.
00:19:19.559 --> 00:19:21.799
And I said, Pete, there's nothing I can do.
00:19:21.799 --> 00:19:24.200
We gave you our best shot right up front.
00:19:24.200 --> 00:19:26.759
And he said, All right, what are you doing next Tuesday?
00:19:26.759 --> 00:19:28.759
Uncanny how Tuesday came up.
00:19:28.759 --> 00:19:29.559
I said, Why?
00:19:29.559 --> 00:19:31.079
He said, I'm going to give you the business.
00:19:31.079 --> 00:19:33.079
I said, No, you said we're not the lowest.
00:19:33.079 --> 00:19:34.839
He said, I didn't like that other guy.
00:19:34.839 --> 00:19:35.400
Wow.
00:19:35.400 --> 00:19:37.400
The lower company, he didn't like him.
00:19:37.400 --> 00:19:43.559
And that meant he didn't trust him, which is what you talk about a lot, is building trust and being authentic.
00:19:43.559 --> 00:19:45.480
And this was something that I was doing.
00:19:45.480 --> 00:19:47.319
I wasn't teaching to people then.
00:19:47.319 --> 00:19:49.000
I wasn't teaching it to people.
00:19:49.000 --> 00:19:57.319
I realized in later years that I had an idea, uh, especially after I bought the license for the Sandler Sales Institute.
00:19:57.319 --> 00:20:03.720
And then when I got into my own work, uh, because I was with Afflinck for a number of years, my boss at Afflinck called me one day.
00:20:03.720 --> 00:20:06.759
He said, Hey, Steve, I know you want to do some consulting.
00:20:06.759 --> 00:20:10.680
He said, one of our members wants to get into the janitorial and uh world.
00:20:10.680 --> 00:20:12.119
He said, Would you consult him?
00:20:12.119 --> 00:20:12.680
I said, sure.
00:20:12.680 --> 00:20:15.240
So it was an office supply dealer in Queens.
00:20:15.240 --> 00:20:19.480
And I started making some calls with some of their salespeople.
00:20:19.480 --> 00:20:23.559
And the first appointment a guy brings me on, he knew nothing about that world.
00:20:23.559 --> 00:20:24.759
So he wanted to bring me.
00:20:24.759 --> 00:20:31.799
He was selling office, office supplies only and the basic, you know, Lysol, the Clorox, and that's all they stocked.
00:20:31.799 --> 00:20:34.519
They didn't stock the major cleaning supplies.
00:20:34.519 --> 00:20:37.240
So it was a big theater group in New York City.
00:20:37.240 --> 00:20:40.440
And he brings me in and I didn't say anything.
00:20:40.440 --> 00:20:41.720
I said, What do you want me to do?
00:20:41.720 --> 00:20:43.880
He said, No, yeah, I'll handle it.
00:20:43.880 --> 00:20:56.359
He started telling the guy about their copier services, their print services, their imprinting on clothing, their concession services, their beverage services, their snacks that they stock.
00:20:56.359 --> 00:21:00.119
And the buyer was like pissed.
00:21:00.119 --> 00:21:04.119
He's got his arms folded, he turned away, and he was really upset.
00:21:04.119 --> 00:21:06.119
And I stopped the salesperson.
00:21:06.119 --> 00:21:07.880
And I'm the consultant, right?
00:21:07.880 --> 00:21:08.839
I'm not the salesperson.
00:21:08.839 --> 00:21:12.119
But I said, Jeff, no, hold on a minute.
00:21:12.119 --> 00:21:14.759
Bill, you seem upset.
00:21:14.759 --> 00:21:15.720
Did we do something?
00:21:15.720 --> 00:21:19.880
He said, This guy is selling me all kinds of stuff that I don't care about.
00:21:19.880 --> 00:21:23.720
I only called you in to talk about the cleaning.
00:21:23.720 --> 00:21:25.400
That's what I want to hear.
00:21:25.400 --> 00:21:27.000
So we listened.
00:21:27.000 --> 00:21:29.400
I said, okay, so tell me about what the challenges are.
00:21:29.400 --> 00:21:33.640
I took over from the poor sales guy, but he learned something valuable.
00:21:33.640 --> 00:21:39.079
And I went to a few of the theaters over the next couple of days, took in some shows, which was fun.
00:21:39.079 --> 00:21:40.519
I didn't get free tickets.
00:21:40.519 --> 00:21:42.279
I didn't ask the guy for free tickets.
00:21:42.279 --> 00:21:45.240
I went to four different theaters.
00:21:45.240 --> 00:21:51.400
And a week later, I sent him pictures and notes and said, Hey, I went to the following shows.
00:21:51.400 --> 00:21:52.680
By the way, they were great.
00:21:52.680 --> 00:21:54.839
Here's what I saw in the theaters.
00:21:54.839 --> 00:21:58.680
Gave him the list, and he sent back a reply.
00:21:58.680 --> 00:22:00.279
All it said was A plus.
00:22:00.279 --> 00:22:01.640
That's all it said.
00:22:01.640 --> 00:22:09.640
So we ended up submitting our pricing and some of our recommendations based on those four trips I made to the theaters.
00:22:09.640 --> 00:22:14.519
And he called me up and said, Steve, I got good news and bad news.
00:22:14.519 --> 00:22:16.200
What's that, Bill?
00:22:16.200 --> 00:22:18.759
He said, Well, the good news is you.
00:22:18.759 --> 00:22:19.720
Got the business.
00:22:19.720 --> 00:22:20.839
I said, What's the bad news?
00:22:20.839 --> 00:22:23.160
He said, I I can't deal with that salesperson.
00:22:23.160 --> 00:22:25.160
He said, I want to deal with you.
00:22:25.160 --> 00:22:27.960
So I said, Well, Bill, I'm the consultant.
00:22:27.960 --> 00:22:34.119
So as long as you're okay with the salesperson getting the commission, I got one more request of you.
00:22:34.119 --> 00:22:36.279
And he said, Yeah, I'd be okay if he gets the commission.
00:22:36.279 --> 00:22:38.039
As long as I'm dealing with you, I want to deal with you.
00:22:38.039 --> 00:22:39.000
I said, Fine.
00:22:39.000 --> 00:22:41.640
I said, And I want to ask you just one favor.
00:22:41.640 --> 00:22:42.440
He said, What's that?
00:22:42.440 --> 00:22:47.480
I said, Will you go bowling with the guy or have lunch with him in a year with the other salesperson?
00:22:47.480 --> 00:22:51.720
And he laughed and he said, All right, so you mean you're going to bring him in from time to time?
00:22:51.720 --> 00:22:52.519
Yes.
00:22:52.519 --> 00:22:55.400
And you know, a year later, he did.
00:22:55.400 --> 00:23:05.400
He ended up, he got to like the guy, and and uh it turned into a million and a half dollar account because the supplies were a million, the theaters themselves were really big.
00:23:05.400 --> 00:23:15.720
But little did we know they were moving the next year and the and it needed all new office furniture, and they ended up getting uh a hell of a customer, probably still have them to this day.
00:23:15.720 --> 00:23:22.920
But the learning was watching people, their body language, and when you oversell them, pay attention to what they say, right?
00:23:22.920 --> 00:23:26.519
If they tell you I can't buy, I can't, I couldn't ever give you the business.
00:23:26.519 --> 00:23:27.000
Okay.
00:23:27.000 --> 00:23:28.440
Just tell me why.
00:23:28.440 --> 00:23:29.240
What's going on?
00:23:29.240 --> 00:23:33.240
If they tell you they only want this, just do that.
00:23:33.240 --> 00:23:37.799
It's not an invitation to tell them about everything you sell.
00:23:37.799 --> 00:23:43.720
And when when we listened and gave people what they wanted, it's fascinating how the sales closed.
00:23:44.039 --> 00:23:48.920
I remember when I started with RJ the first year I did not compete.
00:23:48.920 --> 00:23:51.880
So I traveled around with different salespeople and row with them.
00:23:51.880 --> 00:24:01.319
We were in Texas and I was riding with the salesperson, and we were going into an account, and this is an old food service guy, like huge history and everything.
00:24:01.319 --> 00:24:05.720
So we're walking in, and the salesman said, This guy doesn't really talk too much.
00:24:05.720 --> 00:24:06.920
And I was like, Okay.
00:24:06.920 --> 00:24:16.599
So we go into the waiting room, and there's pictures all around, like this huge history of this company, like obviously very proud of their history, right?
00:24:16.599 --> 00:24:22.279
So we go into the meeting, and it's the owner of the company, it's the it's the old the father, right?
00:24:22.279 --> 00:24:23.559
Who we're talking with.
00:24:23.559 --> 00:24:27.720
And I said, Man, I was in your waiting room, incredible history.
00:24:27.720 --> 00:24:31.240
Could you just tell me a little bit about your company and the history and everything?
00:24:31.240 --> 00:24:46.359
And he went on and on and on for 15, 20 minutes, like just and and this is the a company who hired the first African Americans, and like there's just this huge history, and obviously they're very proud of that history, and they should be.
00:24:46.359 --> 00:24:47.319
You know, it's incredible.
00:24:47.319 --> 00:24:53.480
That led to all kinds of different opportunities we talked about and how we could partner and do business together and everything.
00:24:53.480 --> 00:25:00.519
So we walk out, and the the salesman was like, Man, he goes, I've never seen anybody talk so much.
00:25:00.519 --> 00:25:03.160
And I said, Have you ever asked him about his business?
00:25:03.160 --> 00:25:08.440
Like, of course he's not, because you're trying to go in and sell to make a sale, right?
00:25:08.440 --> 00:25:11.319
He's just sitting there not saying a word, you know.
00:25:11.640 --> 00:25:16.680
Well, and in your world, they're obviously buying from somebody when you get there, right?
00:25:16.680 --> 00:25:17.240
Sure.
00:25:17.240 --> 00:25:20.119
And they may not be buying everything, right?
00:25:20.119 --> 00:25:24.359
Uh how many distributors are buying from a number of redistributors?
00:25:24.359 --> 00:25:25.480
Of course, right?
00:25:25.480 --> 00:25:28.440
Most yeah, it's very rare that you're the only one.
00:25:28.440 --> 00:25:34.359
And except maybe in smaller people or medium-sized people, or or maybe the ones that really love you, maybe.
00:25:34.519 --> 00:25:35.799
Yeah, sometimes.
00:25:35.799 --> 00:25:41.400
If you can get to that spot, that's a very special spot to be entrusted with all the business.
00:25:41.400 --> 00:25:42.680
But it's not typical.
00:25:43.079 --> 00:25:45.319
So, yeah, I always felt blessed.
00:25:45.319 --> 00:25:54.519
I I talked to people about a North Star having a higher power, and my North Star is God simply because I had a near-death experience.
00:25:54.519 --> 00:25:57.640
But before that, going back to high school, I wanted to be a priest.
00:25:57.640 --> 00:25:59.000
I thought that's what I'd be.
00:25:59.000 --> 00:26:04.599
And then I met Sophie on the high school bus, and I knew, oh well, I'm not going to be a Catholic priest anyway.
00:26:04.599 --> 00:26:04.839
Yeah.
00:26:04.839 --> 00:26:14.519
And I studied other faiths, and it led to what uh the work I'm doing today, which is uh it's about leadership and overcoming this small-minded thinking.
00:26:14.519 --> 00:26:17.960
And that we all have, we have a little voice in our heads.
00:26:17.960 --> 00:26:24.440
And for some people, you they they lose sleep at night from a little voice telling them to worry or have anxiety.
00:26:24.440 --> 00:26:36.599
And if they can surrender all that and be in the moment, because one second I was doing a Sandler training for my clients because I bought the license for the Sandler Sales Institute.
00:26:36.599 --> 00:26:42.519
And five years later, like I said, one second doing a training, the next second I needed an ambulance.
00:26:42.519 --> 00:26:45.400
And the fascinating thing is I was grateful.
00:26:45.400 --> 00:26:47.160
They're asking me, How you doing?
00:26:47.160 --> 00:26:47.720
How you doing?
00:26:47.720 --> 00:26:49.880
Right in the office before the ambulance came.
00:26:49.880 --> 00:26:53.559
I said, I don't know how my body's doing, and I'm grateful.
00:26:53.559 --> 00:27:02.440
And when the EMTs came and asked me the same question, and I gave them the same answer, this the looks in their face, like this guy needs an ER doctor and a shrink.
00:27:02.440 --> 00:27:02.839
Right?
00:27:02.839 --> 00:27:03.880
How could he be grateful?
00:27:03.880 --> 00:27:07.400
I think they were expecting me going saying, I don't want to die, I don't want to die.
00:27:07.400 --> 00:27:13.559
As I look back, I realized it was the feeling of a divine presence, and I had just surrendered to whatever was next.
00:27:13.559 --> 00:27:15.960
And I'm embarrassed to say it was 50.
00:27:15.960 --> 00:27:18.039
And I hadn't surrendered like that.
00:27:18.039 --> 00:27:21.559
There were moments of surrender, but not like that.
00:27:21.559 --> 00:27:28.920
I was mostly in the past or in the future, thinking about something that happened in the past or wanting something different in the future.
00:27:28.920 --> 00:27:33.960
And as I said, there were present moments with family and friends and things like that.
00:27:33.960 --> 00:27:38.119
However, the minute I knew I needed an ambulance, it didn't matter.
00:27:38.119 --> 00:27:41.000
Whatever was next, I was just going to face what was next.
00:27:41.319 --> 00:27:48.680
So did you actually, from the time you passed out uh to the time the EMTs came, did you Oh, it was five days later, actually.
00:27:48.759 --> 00:27:53.799
I I so they took me right to intensive care immediately when I got to the hospital.
00:27:53.799 --> 00:27:57.400
I I I learned later that my pancreas had exploded.
00:27:57.400 --> 00:27:57.799
Wow.
00:27:57.799 --> 00:28:04.119
Uh I have a blockage in my pancreas, and and literally um I'm a walk-in miracle.
00:28:04.119 --> 00:28:05.000
I have no symptoms.
00:28:05.000 --> 00:28:08.359
Five days later, what happens when your pancreas explodes?
00:28:08.359 --> 00:28:09.640
The body knows what to do.
00:28:09.640 --> 00:28:17.799
It fills you with fluid to protect your organs from being digested because they're in my body cavity digesting my organs.
00:28:17.799 --> 00:28:24.039
So um the water, the fluid, uh caused a congestive heart failure five days later.
00:28:24.039 --> 00:28:32.839
Anterior myocardia infarction is what Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston said, that they couldn't rule out an anterior myocardial infarction.
00:28:32.839 --> 00:28:40.119
I had the the heart instance at a little tiny hospital in Waltham, Mass, that that little did I know.
00:28:40.119 --> 00:28:47.079
I mean, the ambulance took me there because I was in Waltham at a at a uh another office I had in Massachusetts.
00:28:47.079 --> 00:28:49.000
Little did I know it was going out of business.
00:28:49.000 --> 00:28:49.799
It was closing.
00:28:49.799 --> 00:28:54.519
They couldn't do surgery, they couldn't do uh a lot of uh different procedures.
00:28:54.519 --> 00:28:56.440
And I was there five and a half weeks.
00:28:56.440 --> 00:28:58.519
But on the fifth day, I flatlined.
00:28:58.519 --> 00:29:00.440
I had two friends at the end of my bed.
00:29:00.440 --> 00:29:07.720
One second I was with them, the next second I was one with everything and nothing, one with God, one with immense light, mercy, grace.
00:29:07.720 --> 00:29:16.039
I mean, we if we all knew how loved we were, we wouldn't be so petty, we wouldn't worry, we would just turn it over to God.
00:29:16.039 --> 00:29:22.440
And I had been doing that only because of my idea that I'd be a priest up until I was 50.
00:29:22.440 --> 00:29:33.880
Uh, not a priest, but but in my early years thinking I'd be a priest, and then all the study I did, but not to the degree that I that I do today after that experience and getting a peek at what's next.
00:29:33.880 --> 00:29:35.000
There is no death.
00:29:35.000 --> 00:29:36.440
I call it what's next.
00:29:36.440 --> 00:29:39.319
And what awaits us is an amazing miracle.
00:29:39.319 --> 00:29:48.680
And it's also here now, if we can just surrender, that life is for us and that God, in our difficult moments, it's God trying to wake us up.
00:29:48.680 --> 00:29:52.119
It's a knock on the like I got a knock with a two by four that day.
00:29:52.119 --> 00:30:01.799
I mean, literally, God said, You're gonna get off this track of sales training, and you're gonna go into life experience and teaching people about me in a different way.
00:30:01.799 --> 00:30:03.799
And that's the work I do today.
00:30:03.799 --> 00:30:06.200
What happened in my life review?
00:30:06.200 --> 00:30:11.640
Because there is everything you've heard, there's the life review, only the good I had done flashed before me.
00:30:11.640 --> 00:30:21.640
Everyone I had helped, I could sense the presence of family and friends and the times I helped to move, and you know, all the things that we help neighbors do and friends painting things, fixing things.
00:30:21.640 --> 00:30:37.640
And then strangers, people I bought sandwiches for, people I helped walk across the street or bought groceries for, a lady I bought tires for one time that flashed before me because she was in front of me at a tire shop crying that she didn't know how she was going to repair them.
00:30:37.640 --> 00:30:41.079
The shop told her, Well, you got a flat tire and you got another bad tire.
00:30:41.079 --> 00:30:44.599
And and when she left to go, she said, I got to go talk to my husband.
00:30:44.599 --> 00:30:46.839
I said, Here, give him some cash.
00:30:46.839 --> 00:30:49.720
I said, Buy her tires, but don't tell her where it came from.
00:30:49.720 --> 00:30:52.519
And so that flashed before me.
00:30:52.519 --> 00:30:54.680
And and then even people I smiled at.
00:30:54.680 --> 00:30:57.799
I had no idea how many lives I had touched.
00:30:57.799 --> 00:31:06.119
And I realized I had been the one resisting all the times God had reached out to help the North Star.
00:31:06.519 --> 00:31:11.400
He gives us opportunities every day to do good, to be a vessel for his goodness, right?
00:31:11.400 --> 00:31:15.720
And we either accept those uh assignments or we don't, right?
00:31:15.720 --> 00:31:19.000
We either do the good thing or don't do the good thing.
00:31:19.000 --> 00:31:23.400
It's it's really interesting because I'm in the exact same place in that regard, right?
00:31:23.400 --> 00:31:27.000
I didn't have that experience, although I know people who have.
00:31:27.000 --> 00:31:35.799
Uh my father actually had an experience uh where he left his body and he met all of his family members, and they said, What are you doing here?
00:31:35.799 --> 00:31:36.759
It's not your time.
00:31:36.759 --> 00:31:42.359
And then he went back in his body, and then and we happened to be there the next day, and he was pretty freaked out, you know.
00:31:42.359 --> 00:31:47.960
But it was wasn't a bad experience, it just was a shocking experience for the well and David R.
00:31:48.119 --> 00:31:50.519
Hawkins writes about it that he David R.
00:31:50.519 --> 00:32:07.319
Hawkins is dead for for a while now, but uh he wrote about how many times he had he didn't have near-death experiences, he had experiences of the unconditional love God or the Creator in certain moments in his life as a child, as a teenager, as an adult.
00:32:07.319 --> 00:32:12.200
And he wrote saying you don't have to have a near-death experience to experience God.
00:32:12.200 --> 00:32:13.319
I agree with that.
00:32:13.319 --> 00:32:16.680
And a lot of people feel that during the day, they wonder what it is.
00:32:16.680 --> 00:32:18.839
They feel this unconditional love.
00:32:18.839 --> 00:32:21.160
They're having those moments that David R.
00:32:21.160 --> 00:32:23.000
Hawkins writes about and talked about.
00:32:23.319 --> 00:32:28.599
I think it's the we're so in tuned or trained to the religious, right?
00:32:28.599 --> 00:32:30.519
To the religion that we've all grown up in.
00:32:30.519 --> 00:32:31.799
I was a Catholic as well.
00:32:31.799 --> 00:32:36.039
And um, my mom said I was going to be a priest, which is kind of interesting.
00:32:36.039 --> 00:32:41.799
Uh so that didn't come to fruition, but uh I'm a vessel.
00:32:41.799 --> 00:32:49.480
I I truly have God in my heart, and I do the things that He wants me to do, and He gives me the opportunities to do.
00:32:49.480 --> 00:32:54.039
And it's a it's a wonderful way to live because it is there's opportunities every day.
00:32:54.039 --> 00:32:59.079
You you just see, and like you said, it's just a smile or it's a nice gesture.
00:32:59.480 --> 00:33:00.839
There was no judgment.
00:33:00.839 --> 00:33:06.519
That's the thing that I was stunned by when I was back in the intensive care.
00:33:06.519 --> 00:33:12.279
And the third, after my life review, there was a question just like this stay or go.
00:33:12.279 --> 00:33:16.359
And my consciousness surrendered again with thy will be done.
00:33:16.359 --> 00:33:17.160
It didn't matter.
00:33:17.160 --> 00:33:20.920
That was the whole experience for the time that I was in the hospital.
00:33:20.920 --> 00:33:32.759
Little did I know it was going to be five and a half weeks before I moved to Brigham and Women's, and then and then more time, it was 60 days straight, and then and then another 40 days out of the next 60 in the hospital.
00:33:32.759 --> 00:33:35.480
So it was a hundred days and six months out of work.
00:33:35.480 --> 00:33:37.160
But stay or go, I surrendered.
00:33:37.160 --> 00:33:48.200
And when I got back in intensive care, the next second I was in intensive care again, and I I couldn't even speak because you I couldn't put the events together because there was no past or future.
00:33:48.200 --> 00:33:49.319
There was only the now.
00:33:49.319 --> 00:33:51.319
I call it the now on steroids.
00:33:51.319 --> 00:33:53.880
And so there was a scene and a scene and a scene.
00:33:53.880 --> 00:33:55.880
The third scene was the question.
00:33:55.880 --> 00:33:59.720
And um I finally said to my two friends, something happened.
00:33:59.720 --> 00:34:02.119
And they said, Oh yeah, you flatlined.
00:34:02.119 --> 00:34:05.000
The nurses and doctors came running in, said, Out, out.
00:34:05.000 --> 00:34:06.039
This is it.
00:34:06.039 --> 00:34:07.160
Call his family.
00:34:07.160 --> 00:34:08.199
And that's what we were doing.
00:34:08.199 --> 00:34:10.119
We were in the waiting room calling your family.
00:34:10.119 --> 00:34:12.199
How long were you dead for?
00:34:12.199 --> 00:34:14.840
Well, they I don't know how long I was dead for.
00:34:14.840 --> 00:34:20.519
Because uh they weren't called back into the intensive care until after about 20-something minutes.
00:34:20.519 --> 00:34:24.920
And the nurse came out and said, He's stable now, you can come in and sit with him.
00:34:24.920 --> 00:34:30.599
And so um I think they said he's that the nurse said he's stable for now.
00:34:30.599 --> 00:34:41.480
And so she was cautioning them that because acute necrotizing pancreatitis at that time, it was 23 years ago, November 18th last year, 30,000 people a year got it.
00:34:41.480 --> 00:34:43.079
300 survived.
00:34:43.079 --> 00:34:45.000
And then to have the heart attack.
00:34:45.000 --> 00:34:48.920
So in five days, I I survived two major events, and I have no symptoms.
00:34:48.920 --> 00:34:50.119
Yeah, I have no symptoms.
00:34:50.119 --> 00:34:56.280
The heart doctor, I mean, he's a I didn't even see a heart doctor for like 15 years uh after the event.
00:34:56.280 --> 00:34:58.679
And then as far as digestion, everything works.
00:34:58.679 --> 00:34:59.800
I do have to take a pill.
00:34:59.800 --> 00:35:03.880
I have less than 10% of my pancreas left uh after surgery.
00:35:03.880 --> 00:35:06.039
After five and a half weeks, I finally had surgery.
00:35:06.039 --> 00:35:20.199
What I can tell you is what I suspected many years ago when people would show up for uh a sandwich or money begging on the street, or people that would show up out of nowhere because they needed a tank of gas or something.
00:35:20.199 --> 00:35:23.079
Back then, my brain would judge some of those.
00:35:23.079 --> 00:35:26.599
Or if I was with a friend who'd say, You're not gonna buy that guy gas, are you?
00:35:26.599 --> 00:35:31.400
And sometimes I'd put the card, you know, the credit card or the cash back in my pocket.
00:35:31.400 --> 00:35:49.719
I don't do it ever because now when somebody knocks on my door, uncanny, when I stop at a rest station on way to trips to New England, in fact, somebody invariably will knock on my window when I stop at a rest area and say, uh, sir, can I I say, Don't, don't, don't, don't give me the story.
00:35:49.719 --> 00:35:50.519
I don't need it.
00:35:50.519 --> 00:35:51.639
Just tell me what you need.
00:35:51.639 --> 00:35:53.639
I need gas or I need cash.
00:35:53.639 --> 00:36:06.440
I just do it and afterwards say, Thank you, God, for allowing me to serve you because I believe today those are the little tests and the little god wings because of how we feel when we do good.
00:36:06.440 --> 00:36:11.480
And why was only the good that I had done flashed before me in my life review?
00:36:11.480 --> 00:36:12.039
Why?
00:36:12.039 --> 00:36:15.239
I still don't know the answer to that, except that's our job.
00:36:15.559 --> 00:36:17.559
Those things are beyond comprehension, truly.
00:36:17.559 --> 00:36:19.000
I mean without a doubt.
00:36:19.000 --> 00:36:19.800
Yeah, they are.
00:36:19.800 --> 00:36:33.000
So if somebody's listening to this and they've lived in a religion their whole lives, which there's many people who have, uh, but they they feel like there's more there, that they're missing something, or that there's there's more, right?
00:36:33.000 --> 00:36:34.119
And we know there is.
00:36:34.119 --> 00:36:35.639
What would you recommend for them?
00:36:35.639 --> 00:36:42.519
Like how do you how do you get to this place where you say, you know, I want to be your vessel?
00:36:42.519 --> 00:36:44.119
I want to how do you do that?
00:36:44.280 --> 00:36:52.199
What do what's your be in the now and and to not judge anything, just be in the moment because God is never absent.
00:36:52.199 --> 00:36:55.159
I wrote the book, just put it out last month.
00:36:55.159 --> 00:37:00.519
You missed God on the way to the the mosque, the temple, or the church.
00:37:00.519 --> 00:37:09.480
How to see God everywhere in a universe that we're still so mystified by, how could God be ever absent and that God is everywhere?
00:37:09.480 --> 00:37:24.920
And just to remember, especially when you're bothered by someone or something, some event, those are the real teachers that God is behind, that those moments that really bother us are there to wake us up to something, a way to grow.
00:37:24.920 --> 00:37:29.719
Maybe we need to be more patient, forgiving, accepting, loving.
00:37:29.719 --> 00:37:36.760
And it's from the people that really bother us that we learn the most when we can say, okay, God, that didn't feel good.
00:37:36.760 --> 00:37:39.079
And what was it here to teach me?
00:37:39.079 --> 00:37:40.679
What's it here to show me?
00:37:40.679 --> 00:37:55.559
And then the opportunity to serve others, like you've mentioned when we were talking about that lady in front of you at the supermarket that you know was struggling, an old lady needed some help, and you paid for her groceries and you felt good.
00:37:55.559 --> 00:37:57.639
And every time you've done good, you feel good.
00:37:57.639 --> 00:38:00.840
And when I ask people, how do you feel when you do good?
00:38:00.840 --> 00:38:06.599
Except for one guy out of thousands, the last 23 years, one guy said, I guess I feel good.
00:38:06.599 --> 00:38:09.079
He was reluctant to admit he felt good.
00:38:09.079 --> 00:38:12.519
But everyone else resoundingly says, Oh, yeah, I feel good when I do good.
00:38:12.519 --> 00:38:13.960
Yeah, why?
00:38:13.960 --> 00:38:16.199
Why do we feel good when we do good?
00:38:16.199 --> 00:38:22.599
Because we're doing God's work here on earth, we've done what Jesus would have recommended, right?
00:38:22.599 --> 00:38:24.840
To take care of our brother and our family.
00:38:24.840 --> 00:38:27.800
But even all of the faiths talk about that.
00:38:27.800 --> 00:38:35.800
There isn't one that at least comes from the tree of Abraham that doesn't talk about doing good and loving others.
00:38:36.199 --> 00:38:37.159
And that's it, right?
00:38:37.159 --> 00:38:43.159
So I believe that opening yourself up to the opportunity and seeing it's kind of like a radio.
00:38:43.159 --> 00:38:44.920
You kind of tune in, right?
00:38:44.920 --> 00:38:49.719
And you tune your radio in, and now all of a sudden you start seeing things differently.
00:38:49.719 --> 00:38:58.039
And you know, the other thing which I think is important, a lot of people harbor resentment and they harbor guilt and they harbor all these feelings.
00:38:58.039 --> 00:38:59.880
And I view those as anchors.
00:38:59.880 --> 00:39:06.360
And those anchors really hold you back from being able to be that vessel, they block the flow.
00:39:06.360 --> 00:39:13.719
And I think the more that I've grown in my life, I've learned to cast those off.
00:39:13.719 --> 00:39:23.639
And the forgiveness part, you know, to try to uh work through those feelings that you have, those negative feelings about different people and about who they are.
00:39:23.639 --> 00:39:30.519
It's uh it's really powerful when you're able to cast those off in the feeling you get, which is positive, right?
00:39:30.519 --> 00:39:34.840
You get uh lightness about you because you're casting off those anchors.
00:39:35.079 --> 00:39:35.320
Yeah.
00:39:35.320 --> 00:39:39.159
And it can be brought with people into business and sales.
00:39:39.159 --> 00:39:42.760
See, that's the that's the the transition that people can make.
00:39:42.760 --> 00:39:48.599
They don't have to go to work because God wants me to earn money, but God isn't here while I'm working.
00:39:48.599 --> 00:39:53.559
No, that the God is there if you're listening.
00:39:53.559 --> 00:40:02.039
And if you listen to your clients to help them and let go of your own goals, don't go there for a commission and a bonus.
00:40:02.039 --> 00:40:04.920
Go there to help people and be curious and loving.
00:40:04.920 --> 00:40:10.039
And and you you may impart them with something, some knowledge or some gift.
00:40:10.039 --> 00:40:14.280
You may help them overcome a problem and not sell them anything for now.
00:40:14.280 --> 00:40:22.440
And later on, those people remember those instances to allow people wherever they're at, including the ones that bother us and bug us, right?
00:40:22.440 --> 00:40:24.039
Because you can't change their life.
00:40:24.039 --> 00:40:30.119
If they're angry or they're fighting people or they've got some resentment, let them have it.
00:40:30.119 --> 00:40:32.599
And to your point, you deal with your own.
00:40:32.599 --> 00:40:33.639
What's yours, right?
00:40:33.639 --> 00:40:36.760
You clean up your side of the road, and that's the part you can control.
00:40:36.760 --> 00:40:43.480
And those things are freeing because then it's gratitude and surrender to the moment.
00:40:43.480 --> 00:40:48.519
And what happens is our plan supersedes God's when we're stuck in our head.
00:40:48.519 --> 00:40:51.639
When we're stuck in our hand and we've got a plan, and we're gonna get there.
00:40:51.639 --> 00:40:57.960
We can be the MMA fighter of life and say, I'm gonna do this my way, and God'll say, Okay, go ahead, give it a try your way.
00:40:57.960 --> 00:41:07.000
Today, my partner, the name of the company is Lord and Lentini, because I did it, I tried doing it my way, and it nearly killed me.
00:41:07.000 --> 00:41:13.079
And and today it's gratitude and surrender that have been the most amazing blessings of my life.
00:41:13.079 --> 00:41:21.800
And uh every time I let go of wanting something my way, God shows up in an amazing way, much greater.
00:41:21.800 --> 00:41:27.159
I mean, 24,000 came in the mail after a month, people hearing about me in the hospital.
00:41:27.159 --> 00:41:30.280
Afflink was a big customer of mine around the country.
00:41:30.280 --> 00:41:31.880
I was a sales trainer for them.
00:41:31.880 --> 00:41:39.800
And when they heard I was in the hospital, the guy that I ended up working for called me and said, uh, hey Steve, you want to come do a seminar for us?
00:41:39.800 --> 00:41:41.079
I said, Mike, I'm in the hospital.
00:41:41.079 --> 00:41:42.280
He said, Yeah, I heard.
00:41:42.280 --> 00:41:44.039
He was breaking my chops.
00:41:44.039 --> 00:41:47.159
I he I said, Uh I don't know when I'm gonna be out.
00:41:47.159 --> 00:41:49.559
And he said, I actually got a different idea.
00:41:49.559 --> 00:41:52.440
Maybe you would come to work for us and run the Northeast.
00:41:52.440 --> 00:41:54.840
And I said, Mike, but I don't know when I'll be available.
00:41:54.840 --> 00:41:56.760
He said, I don't care, I'm gonna wait.
00:41:56.760 --> 00:42:00.519
That was January of 2003.
00:42:00.519 --> 00:42:09.559
And so in April, I was went to see my primary care for the first time because he was in Beverly Mass, where my main office was.
00:42:09.559 --> 00:42:12.280
He hadn't even seen me during this whole experience.
00:42:12.280 --> 00:42:18.760
And I get released to go to work, and I'm driving home in the middle of April, and well, who wouldn't you know who calls?
00:42:18.760 --> 00:42:22.519
Mike from F Link, Mike Palichek, what a great guy.
00:42:22.519 --> 00:42:25.079
And he said, Stevie, what are you doing?
00:42:25.079 --> 00:42:26.840
I said, Mike, it's uncanny.
00:42:26.840 --> 00:42:27.719
I'm driving home.
00:42:27.719 --> 00:42:28.840
I'm just cleared to go to work.
00:42:28.840 --> 00:42:30.760
He said, Good, I got an airline ticket Sunday.
00:42:30.760 --> 00:42:36.360
Come down to our meeting, and you can give a talk if you want, and and maybe you'll come to work for us.
00:42:36.360 --> 00:42:44.119
And so he and I talked, and I sold the Sandler license, and and I said to Mike, as long as I can do a class every once in a while of my own work.
00:42:44.119 --> 00:42:47.159
He said, Yeah, Mondays after you do your expenses and stuff.
00:42:47.159 --> 00:42:50.519
Um, you know, take Mondays to do that in the afternoons.
00:42:50.519 --> 00:43:01.079
And I started my own work and uh wrote the first book, uh, Wake Up, Jump Into Your Life, and and and handled Aff-Link for six years, and they're they're a great, uh, it was a great organization, great book.
00:43:01.400 --> 00:43:03.239
That's actually where I met you at Aff Link.
00:43:03.239 --> 00:43:03.880
Yeah, that's right.
00:43:03.880 --> 00:43:07.480
So that would have been 2003, 4, 5, 6, somewhere in there.
00:43:07.559 --> 00:43:07.800
Yeah.
00:43:07.800 --> 00:43:08.039
Right.
00:43:08.039 --> 00:43:13.079
So it all turned uh the darkest moment had the greatest gift in my life.
00:43:13.079 --> 00:43:18.599
It wasn't wrapped as I would have liked, and still I was grateful and totally surrendered.
00:43:18.599 --> 00:43:21.079
That gratitude and surrender stays with me.
00:43:21.079 --> 00:43:27.000
And back in my body, I have to remind myself again, hey, wait, God is here because this brain tries to take over.
00:43:27.000 --> 00:43:33.000
That's the coaching that I do with people is don't listen to that brain, that you can reprogram your mind.
00:43:33.000 --> 00:43:40.920
When you realize that that we're that I'm stuck back in my head, the best thing I can do is remind it that I'm in charge.
00:43:40.920 --> 00:43:43.400
What and a lot of people are doing that work today.
00:43:43.639 --> 00:43:45.480
Yeah, Steve, what's the acorn brain?
00:43:45.480 --> 00:43:47.719
Because I know that's something you talk about a lot.
00:43:47.719 --> 00:43:52.440
Uh, but in a nutshell, that if you could uh in a nutshell, that's great.
00:43:52.440 --> 00:43:55.639
If you could help people out of the way, that is.
00:43:55.880 --> 00:43:59.639
It's that little small-minded voice, anything small-minded where you're judging people.
00:43:59.639 --> 00:44:02.039
You don't want to put your hand in your pocket to give a
00:44:02.039 --> 00:44:04.599
guy five dollars because he's asking you for money.
00:44:04.599 --> 00:44:08.199
What if he showed up because God put him there for you to as a test?
00:44:08.199 --> 00:44:18.760
That little voice that has you judging your employees, making people wrong, angry at people, that voice is called it's it causes us to react.
00:44:18.760 --> 00:44:24.440
And I hyphenate it and put it in quotes, reacting, because it's something previously learned.
00:44:24.440 --> 00:44:29.239
And what we know about an acorn is it has potential to be an oak tree.
00:44:29.239 --> 00:44:31.719
We can all be the oak tree of our mind.
00:44:31.719 --> 00:44:37.960
We can train our mind by paying attention to what and who triggers us.
00:44:37.960 --> 00:44:42.360
And when we learn to what and who triggers us are actually a gift.
00:44:42.360 --> 00:44:43.400
They're for us.
00:44:43.400 --> 00:44:45.000
It's not happening to us.
00:44:45.000 --> 00:44:46.920
Life isn't happening to us.
00:44:46.920 --> 00:44:49.000
Then we can become the oak tree.
00:44:49.000 --> 00:44:50.519
But it it's a journey.
00:44:50.519 --> 00:44:54.519
I haven't found the way to program the mind.
00:44:54.519 --> 00:44:59.800
I haven't found the way I tell my clients, if I ever tell you I found the way, run away.
00:45:00.119 --> 00:45:00.679
That's right.
00:45:00.679 --> 00:45:04.199
Because no matter what, that acorn brain sometimes just kicks in.
00:45:04.199 --> 00:45:08.280
And you know, it's it's hard to control sometime.
00:45:08.280 --> 00:45:09.880
And we all fall into it.
00:45:09.880 --> 00:45:12.760
I fall into it like I'm guilty as charged.
00:45:12.920 --> 00:45:18.760
I've been doing this work for over 20 years, and I'm still catch myself reacting, especially in Brooklyn traffic.
00:45:18.760 --> 00:45:19.639
Yeah.
00:45:19.639 --> 00:45:21.639
Okay, God.
00:45:21.639 --> 00:45:22.840
I'm gonna let him in.
00:45:22.840 --> 00:45:23.719
I'm letting him in.
00:45:23.719 --> 00:45:25.000
Okay, I'm backing up.
00:45:25.000 --> 00:45:26.920
All right, I'm letting the guy in now.
00:45:27.719 --> 00:45:28.519
Yeah, yeah.
00:45:28.519 --> 00:45:30.599
It's a it's a work in progress, it sure is.
00:45:30.599 --> 00:45:31.480
And that's really true.
00:45:32.440 --> 00:45:42.199
Well, and what neuroresearchers are proving is the first 35 years, we train our brain by all our emotional responses to people and events.
00:45:42.199 --> 00:45:44.199
So joy and happiness, great.
00:45:44.199 --> 00:45:45.239
The brain remembers.
00:45:45.239 --> 00:45:57.800
But just like driving and learning anything new, snowboarding, snowmobiling, skiing, bowling, whatever you learn, golf, in the beginning, you're you're trying to remember everything and get it all right so you can perform.
00:45:57.800 --> 00:46:00.199
The brain eventually takes over, right?
00:46:00.199 --> 00:46:01.639
Muscle memory, driving.
00:46:01.639 --> 00:46:03.559
You don't have to worry about driving today.
00:46:03.559 --> 00:46:10.280
Emotionally, though, the brain also remembers every response to certain situations, every emotion.
00:46:10.280 --> 00:46:21.159
So, including anger, frustration, stress, sadness, depression, and thoughts of judgment and less than that, or that we're more than someone or less than others.
00:46:21.159 --> 00:46:22.360
The brain remembers those.
00:46:22.360 --> 00:46:35.880
And neuroscientists say that unless you do the work to reprogram your mind after the age of 35, they can predict what your next 35 years will be like because the brain will have you repeating all those reactions.
00:46:35.880 --> 00:46:39.880
So whether it's worth it or not, tell people to do the research into Dr.
00:46:39.880 --> 00:46:40.679
Daniel A.
00:46:40.679 --> 00:46:46.519
Man or uh Joe Dispenza or Sherzad Shamin or Dr.
00:46:46.519 --> 00:46:47.400
James Dody.
00:46:47.400 --> 00:47:04.360
There's so many people today talking about reprogramming the mind, and that when you learn to train the mind to go to a response instead of a reaction, what they're proving is that there's new neural pathways opened in the brain, like stroke victims.
00:47:04.360 --> 00:47:07.719
It's like learning how to walk again for stroke victims or talk.
00:47:07.719 --> 00:47:11.159
They open new neural pathways so that they can continue that.
00:47:11.159 --> 00:47:13.639
It's the same with the emotional responses.
00:47:13.639 --> 00:47:20.519
That if you've always had somebody uh that angers you or you're telling people, this is who I am, get over it.
00:47:20.519 --> 00:47:29.880
No, it's who you've programmed yourself to be, and you can always make a new choice and grow, hopefully, into the oak and get out of the acorn.
00:47:30.119 --> 00:47:35.880
You know, the good news is every day we have a new opportunity to start over, no matter what's happened.
00:47:35.880 --> 00:47:38.039
Each day is a gift, truly.
00:47:38.039 --> 00:47:39.239
And that's all we have.
00:47:39.239 --> 00:47:40.119
We have this day.
00:47:40.119 --> 00:47:41.480
You don't have anything else.
00:47:42.039 --> 00:47:45.400
It wasn't on my calendar 23 years ago, over 23 years ago.
00:47:45.400 --> 00:47:46.760
Steve, today's your last day.
00:47:46.760 --> 00:47:47.480
Enjoy.
00:47:47.880 --> 00:47:50.519
Yes, and we just never know when that is.
00:47:50.519 --> 00:47:54.760
But uh, we do have this moment and this time to make a difference.
00:47:54.760 --> 00:48:01.800
And I um really appreciate that uh you're one of those people who make a difference and you have and continue to.
00:48:02.280 --> 00:48:03.480
I'm grateful we met.
00:48:03.480 --> 00:48:10.599
I'm grateful we met, and we share a lot of the same philosophies in whether it's in sales or in about faith.
00:48:10.599 --> 00:48:15.719
And uh that might be confirmation bias, why I like you.
00:48:15.719 --> 00:48:19.800
Uh but I don't find any evidence to the contrary, right?
00:48:19.800 --> 00:48:21.079
There's no evidence.
00:48:21.079 --> 00:48:26.440
I know that if I do have someone that I don't like, I need to look at what I would say.
00:48:26.440 --> 00:48:32.119
Because what let's say that I I meet someone and I would say they're an obnoxious idiot.
00:48:32.119 --> 00:48:36.440
I've got to take a pause and go, wait a minute, have I ever been an obnoxious idiot?
00:48:36.440 --> 00:48:37.719
I can't say no.
00:48:37.719 --> 00:48:39.719
So now I have more compassion for that.
00:48:39.719 --> 00:48:41.400
Oh, okay, I see what he's up to.
00:48:41.400 --> 00:48:42.199
He's me.
00:48:42.519 --> 00:48:47.400
You know, my wife is is famous for this, uh, and it's actually a good thing, right?
00:48:47.400 --> 00:48:57.639
So somebody will be a certain way and she'll go, well, maybe he was, you know, this, or maybe something happened in her life, or maybe, you know, that's that's kind of her response.
00:48:57.639 --> 00:49:12.360
And it's actually a really good response because it is somebody could be a wonderful person and just be having a really bad day, yeah, and react in a way that if it's the first time you're ever meeting them, you might think, Wow, this person's really a jerk, you know.
00:49:12.360 --> 00:49:17.239
But that person might just be having a really bad day, and you just never know, right?
00:49:17.239 --> 00:49:18.679
We don't know their story.
00:49:18.679 --> 00:49:20.360
Wow, this has been amazing.
00:49:20.360 --> 00:49:20.920
Thank you.
00:49:20.920 --> 00:49:23.239
Love to have you on again, maybe sometime.
00:49:23.239 --> 00:49:25.079
This has been a great conversation.
00:49:25.079 --> 00:49:27.000
And uh, do you have any parting thoughts?
00:49:27.000 --> 00:49:29.480
Or just you don't have to search for God.
00:49:29.480 --> 00:49:30.599
God is everywhere.
00:49:30.599 --> 00:49:32.199
He's right there, everywhere.
00:49:32.199 --> 00:49:33.239
He's right by you.
00:49:33.239 --> 00:49:36.920
It all you need to do is ask and just say, Yeah, that's it.
00:49:36.920 --> 00:49:39.159
And uh it's as simple as that, truly.
00:49:39.159 --> 00:49:42.519
Yeah, just tune in to his radio station, you'll be amazed what you hear.
00:49:42.760 --> 00:49:46.039
Yeah, and you don't need to do anything to to earn God's love.
00:49:46.039 --> 00:49:49.000
He's not a transactional God in my experience.
00:49:49.000 --> 00:49:51.480
There's nothing to do that it's automatic.
00:49:51.480 --> 00:49:53.559
As Christ said, our sins were forgiven.
00:49:53.559 --> 00:50:00.679
I think that's the original message that Christ came to say there's no such thing as sin, but that would have been worse.
00:50:00.920 --> 00:50:01.079
Yeah.
00:50:01.239 --> 00:50:03.159
As it was, he got crucified.
00:50:03.159 --> 00:50:05.719
Well, for the your sins are forgiven.
00:50:05.719 --> 00:50:10.920
I never believed it, and and then maybe that's the confirmation I got, right?
00:50:10.920 --> 00:50:16.119
The gift was I'm loved beyond all understanding, and all of us are.
00:50:16.440 --> 00:50:22.119
I mean, it's a huge conversation because there's so much evil in the world, and you know, obviously it's there.
00:50:22.119 --> 00:50:29.239
So when you talk about getting into sin and all that stuff, it's a it's a really we could probably have 10 podcasts on that subject alone.
00:50:29.400 --> 00:50:33.639
But anyway, I'm sure my new book has upset about 300 theologians.
00:50:34.840 --> 00:50:36.920
Yeah, no question about it.
00:50:36.920 --> 00:50:43.000
And the whole philosophy of you know, you have a direct connection with God versus having to go through other people.
00:50:43.000 --> 00:50:46.119
That whole thing, yeah, trying to drive people a little crazy.
00:50:46.199 --> 00:50:47.639
But yeah, uh, that's okay.
00:50:47.639 --> 00:50:48.360
It is.
00:50:48.360 --> 00:50:49.880
Enjoy this miracle.
00:50:49.880 --> 00:50:57.559
We're given a floating ball in the midst of a space, a vacuum, and everything required for life here, why not enjoy it?
00:50:57.880 --> 00:51:09.559
So if you think about the fact that God knitted you in your mother's womb, if you in the Psalms, Psalm 139, knitted you in your mother's womb with a purpose, and he's created you for a purpose.
00:51:09.559 --> 00:51:12.199
Why wouldn't he do anything but love you?
00:51:12.199 --> 00:51:14.039
It's it's no different than a child.
00:51:14.039 --> 00:51:22.199
Yeah, and sometimes children do things that uh you know aren't good, but the love is always there, it no matter what, you know, you love your child, right?
00:51:22.199 --> 00:51:25.480
And it's a similar thing, but with God it's perfect.
00:51:25.480 --> 00:51:31.079
And and so it's much bigger and better than what how we can love our kids.
00:51:31.320 --> 00:51:32.519
I write that in my book.
00:51:32.519 --> 00:51:36.280
I ask a lot of questions in the book to have people think about things, right?
00:51:36.280 --> 00:51:38.440
To think of a modernized God.
00:51:38.440 --> 00:51:47.800
I mean, we've modernized, we have new technologies, but we think God is still back in the uh, you know, the dark ages uh in the 2000 years ago.
00:51:47.800 --> 00:51:53.159
And um, what I say to people is which one of your children would you condemn to burn in hell forever?
00:51:53.159 --> 00:51:53.960
Right.
00:51:54.199 --> 00:52:01.000
You know, the shack has that as part of the do you ever see the shack, the movie, and the the father has to judge one of his kids?
00:52:01.000 --> 00:52:02.760
Yeah, that's so powerful.
00:52:02.920 --> 00:52:07.400
I mean, that is one of the most powerful scenes I gotta see that again because it's been a long time.
00:52:07.400 --> 00:52:08.360
I gotta see that again.
00:52:08.360 --> 00:52:09.400
It's so powerful.
00:52:09.400 --> 00:52:10.599
It is so powerful.
00:52:10.599 --> 00:52:18.920
Yeah, and when I ask people that, they're like confounded by the question or angry, like I wouldn't want my kids.
00:52:18.920 --> 00:52:22.440
Well, so then if that's true, then you think your love is greater than God's.
00:52:22.679 --> 00:52:23.719
Great stuff, Steve.
00:52:23.719 --> 00:52:25.079
Thank you so much, Mike.
00:52:25.079 --> 00:52:27.079
Thank you for being on my podcast.
00:52:27.079 --> 00:52:30.039
Who says selling toilet paper isn't glamorous?
00:52:30.039 --> 00:52:32.039
Thanks a lot and have a great day.