ABOUT THIS EPISODE
Can self-improvement make you unhappy? If you’re reading the books, listening to the podcasts and chasing your goals—but still never feeling good enough—this episode is for you.
I’ve realised I might have turned my entire life into a self-improvement project. Somewhere between trying to become more productive, successful and healthy, I started losing sight of the life I actually wanted to enjoy.
In Episode 83 of The Struggle, I explore the self-improvement trap: how constantly trying to become better can leave us feeling that who we are now isn’t enough.
Drawing on research into fulfilment and Alan Watts’ “backwards law”, I discuss achievement, materialism, social comparison and the importance of making room for rest, relationships and play. I also share practical approaches I’m trying myself to pursue meaningful goals without putting happiness permanently on hold.
How do we keep growing while recognising that our lives already have value?
What do you do purely for enjoyment, without needing to achieve anything? Let me know in the comments—I’d love some ideas.
Subscribe to The Struggle for honest conversations about life’s challenges, meaningful ambition and finding more room to enjoy being human.
#SelfImprovement #Productivity #TheStruggle
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Footage & Source Credits
Stock footage: All stock videos used in this episode were sourced from Pexels. https://www.pexels.com Pexels License: https://www.pexels.com/license/
YouTube video excerpts:
FC Concepts — “FC27 Gameplay Is WORSE Than I Expected…” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i65nBAzI4MM
Benjamin_Winters — “This is what 1000 hours in Cyberpunk 2077 looks like…” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dc6cmHE__Q8
Rockstar Games — “Grand Theft Auto VI: An Extended Look” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJbzMqJGH4k
UnitedG — “Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 4 Multiplayer Gameplay [4K]” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9ki4KoPiXg
Screen recordings: Screen recordings of browsing YouTube and Instagram were captured by Gregor Thomson.
Instagram quote/post: @wethinkdeeply] — https://www.instagram.com/p/DdRNM1XDRvg/?psln=cml0ZTVvemczYWdu
Research & Philosophical Background
Fulfilment and a life well lived: Baumann, D., & Ruch, W. (2022). What constitutes a fulfilled life? A mixed methods study on lay perspectives across the lifespan. Frontiers in Psychology, 13, 982782. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.982782
The potential drawbacks of pursuing happiness: Mauss, I. B., Tamir, M., Anderson, C. L., & Savino, N. S. (2011). Can seeking happiness make people unhappy? Paradoxical effects of valuing happiness. Emotion, 11(4), 807–815. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0022010
Materialism and well-being: Dittmar, H., Bond, R., Hurst, M., & Kasser, T. (2014). The relationship between materialism and personal well-being: A meta-analysis. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 107(5), 879–924. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0037409
Social comparison on social media: Meier, A., & Johnson, B. K. (2022). Social comparison and envy on social media: A critical review. Current Opinion in Psychology, 45, 101302. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2022.101302
Adult playfulness and well-being: Proyer, R. T., Gander, F., Brauer, K., & Chick, G. (2021). Can playfulness be stimulated? A randomised placebo-controlled online playfulness intervention study on effects on trait playfulness, well-being, and depression. Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being, 13(1), 129–151. https://doi.org/10.1111/aphw.12220
Rest and mentally disconnecting from work: Wendsche, J., & Lohmann-Haislah, A. (2017). A meta-analysis on antecedents and outcomes of detachment from work. Frontiers in Psychology, 7, 2072. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.02072
Gratitude and well-being: Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377–389. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.84.2.377
Philosophical background to the “backwards law”: Watts, A. (1951). The Wisdom of Insecurity: A Message for an Age of Anxiety.
Related contemporary discussion: Manson, M. The Backwards Law—Why the Best Things in Life Must Be Let Go. https://markmanson.net/the-backwards-law
These references provide research and philosophical context for the episode. Personal experiences, interpretations and practical suggestions are distinguished from established research findings; the studies do not establish that all self-improvement, ambition or social media use is harmful.
