Becoming A Stable Man

WEBVTT
00:00:00.320 --> 00:00:01.919
To myself for weeks and months.
00:00:02.080 --> 00:00:03.040
Ran into you in the gym.
00:00:03.200 --> 00:00:03.439
Yeah.
00:00:03.600 --> 00:00:07.919
Cliff and I had already been talking about starting a podcast called The Stable Man.
00:00:08.320 --> 00:00:13.199
Um, and just timing and just dynamics didn't um precipitate it to happen.
00:00:13.279 --> 00:00:14.880
And I'm like, I think he's the one.
00:00:14.960 --> 00:00:16.559
And the spirit told me, yeah, go talk to him.
00:00:16.640 --> 00:00:18.079
Just just just test the waters.
00:00:18.239 --> 00:00:20.399
And Quentin was open, Clifton was open.
00:00:20.719 --> 00:00:21.199
Even me.
00:00:21.519 --> 00:00:21.760
Family.
00:00:21.839 --> 00:00:27.039
Uh, I think family is it's extremely critical and important in a man's life.
00:00:27.120 --> 00:00:32.479
Uh, family doesn't necessarily mean marriage, it doesn't necessarily mean kids because you can have a family and not have those things.
00:00:32.640 --> 00:00:33.920
However, I am married.
00:00:34.079 --> 00:00:38.320
You all have been married and have a lot of experience um in that realm.
00:00:38.479 --> 00:00:40.560
And I think that we And he wins late.
00:00:40.799 --> 00:00:41.520
Wins, man, yeah.
00:00:41.600 --> 00:00:49.920
So actually, uh, so I wrote a book earlier this year, uh, it's ebook, and over the last maybe month, it has really gotten and the only places it is on my website.
00:00:50.000 --> 00:00:54.560
It's called Um Five Questions Every Couple Asks After Betrayal.
00:00:54.719 --> 00:00:55.359
Yeah, yeah.
00:00:55.920 --> 00:00:58.320
Um, first tender, second tenor, third tender, I don't know.
00:00:58.880 --> 00:01:00.399
Um, but really good.
00:01:00.479 --> 00:01:02.000
Um, business has been good.
00:01:02.079 --> 00:01:07.200
It's been a challenge in a holding pattern on some things, but just trusting and believing.
00:01:07.359 --> 00:01:09.040
Um, relationship on 10.
00:01:09.359 --> 00:01:09.599
Okay.
00:01:09.760 --> 00:01:14.000
Um, son just got employed, got his own spot out of my pocket.
00:01:14.319 --> 00:01:16.079
So that's funny.
00:01:17.519 --> 00:01:23.359
So, so we want to reach first, we want to reach reach men who we realize a lot of men don't have community.
00:01:23.519 --> 00:01:23.840
Yeah, yeah.
00:01:24.079 --> 00:01:32.400
And so we want to provide not necessarily community here, like you, we we're not communing with you, but we want to give you um information and tools to help you become stable.
00:01:32.799 --> 00:01:33.280
I'll go.
00:01:33.359 --> 00:01:38.879
Uh, one of my most recent wins is uh I just hired two more therapists for my practice.
00:01:39.120 --> 00:01:45.599
So we are at a total of four black male clinicians at the Imago Day firm, which I'm very, very happy about.
00:01:45.760 --> 00:01:48.879
That's the vision that I had when I first started the practice that I really wanted.
00:01:49.519 --> 00:01:52.799
And the reason I pick fidelity is because that's I that's what I deal with on a daily basis.
00:01:52.959 --> 00:01:55.519
Men who have become unfaithful to their wives.
00:01:55.599 --> 00:01:57.200
They are walking in infidelity.
00:01:57.439 --> 00:01:57.680
Wow.
00:01:57.840 --> 00:01:58.480
Wow, wow.
00:01:58.719 --> 00:02:01.920
You can't be you you can't you can't have a stable family.
00:02:02.079 --> 00:02:06.640
You can't be a stable man if you don't operate in fidelity, as we're calling it.
00:02:06.719 --> 00:02:19.360
Like, stability, a stable man is really a person who has not only vision for their life, but also has concrete steps to achieve that vision.
00:02:20.000 --> 00:02:28.240
What I mean is we I I believe we probably all have met a person who has all these ideas, but you don't see And so here's my definition of a stable man.
00:02:28.560 --> 00:02:34.159
At least having attention to the stability and health of your life in those four areas.
00:02:34.319 --> 00:02:41.360
It is all my legs may not be the strongest right now, but I'm aware that maybe I'm lacking in my faith.
00:02:41.680 --> 00:02:43.759
I'm aware that maybe I'm lacking in my finances.
00:02:43.919 --> 00:02:46.400
And I turn that chair upside down and I'm working on that thing.
00:02:46.479 --> 00:02:47.919
I'm got me some gorilla glue.
00:02:48.000 --> 00:02:49.520
I got me some, you know, whatever it is.
00:02:50.080 --> 00:02:52.319
You're a you're a wood shop guy, so you can relate.
00:02:52.639 --> 00:02:54.000
Fellas, great day.
00:02:54.240 --> 00:02:54.719
Excellent day.
00:02:55.039 --> 00:02:55.680
What's up, man?
00:02:56.000 --> 00:02:56.319
Oh, wow.
00:02:56.560 --> 00:02:56.800
Awesome.
00:02:57.199 --> 00:02:59.360
Welcome to the Stable Man podcast.
00:02:59.520 --> 00:02:59.840
Yeah.
00:03:00.080 --> 00:03:01.840
Our inaugural uh episode.
00:03:02.000 --> 00:03:02.159
Yeah.
00:03:02.319 --> 00:03:03.280
How y'all feel about it?
00:03:03.599 --> 00:03:04.639
You know, I'm feeling really good.
00:03:04.879 --> 00:03:05.520
Long time coming.
00:03:05.599 --> 00:03:10.000
We've been meeting for months trying to get this thing up and going so we can give the people what they need.
00:03:10.080 --> 00:03:11.199
And so it's finally here.
00:03:11.280 --> 00:03:12.000
So I'm excited about it.
00:03:12.159 --> 00:03:19.280
Yeah, I'm excited about what is gonna come of this, whose lives are gonna be changed, uh, what's the crazy stuff that's gonna be said.
00:03:19.360 --> 00:03:20.240
I'm looking for it all.
00:03:20.479 --> 00:03:21.039
I'm ready.
00:03:21.199 --> 00:03:21.840
Yep, yep.
00:03:21.919 --> 00:03:22.800
Uh we're your hosts.
00:03:23.120 --> 00:03:23.840
Anti-crazy.
00:03:24.000 --> 00:03:24.319
Yeah.
00:03:24.560 --> 00:03:25.840
All that, all the above.
00:03:26.080 --> 00:03:26.639
We're your host.
00:03:26.800 --> 00:03:28.319
I'm Johnny Gentsry III.
00:03:28.560 --> 00:03:32.479
I'm a retired pastor, real estate investor, and men's coach.
00:03:32.719 --> 00:03:33.759
My name is Quentin R.
00:03:33.840 --> 00:03:34.319
Giles.
00:03:34.400 --> 00:03:40.080
I am a husband, father, therapist, entrepreneur, and I help men lead from their calling and not their wounds.
00:03:40.319 --> 00:03:42.080
And I am Clifton Brantley.
00:03:42.159 --> 00:03:47.039
I am a marriage and spiritual development coach, and my goal is to help you do love and life better.
00:03:47.439 --> 00:03:48.000
Awesome.
00:03:48.159 --> 00:03:49.280
I didn't have a tagline.
00:03:49.599 --> 00:03:51.680
First off, no, like Cliff ate that.
00:03:53.520 --> 00:03:54.560
It's great.
00:03:54.879 --> 00:03:55.520
Indeed.
00:03:56.240 --> 00:03:58.560
So, um, what's been going on?
00:03:58.719 --> 00:03:59.599
How y'all been doing?
00:03:59.680 --> 00:04:01.120
Uh, what's been on your mind lately?
00:04:01.360 --> 00:04:01.840
You know what?
00:04:02.000 --> 00:04:03.840
I'm recovering, tired.
00:04:04.080 --> 00:04:08.319
Kid just turned four, and so we we try to make sure we celebrate her in the best way possible.
00:04:08.400 --> 00:04:10.560
So we had about 30, 30 little people at Chuck E.
00:04:10.639 --> 00:04:12.240
Cheese a couple days ago.
00:04:12.479 --> 00:04:15.520
Cake, cupcakes, ice cream, pandemoni.
00:04:15.759 --> 00:04:17.040
I didn't know Chucky Cheese was still in business.
00:04:17.360 --> 00:04:18.720
Oh, Chucky, Chucky is still doing.
00:04:18.959 --> 00:04:20.319
Now, now Chucky is solo.
00:04:20.560 --> 00:04:21.519
He's not with the gang anymore.
00:04:21.600 --> 00:04:23.920
So back then, you know they had all the rap.
00:04:24.160 --> 00:04:24.399
Right, right.
00:04:24.480 --> 00:04:25.680
It's just it's just the rap.
00:04:25.839 --> 00:04:26.879
So it's just Chucky now.
00:04:27.040 --> 00:04:30.319
Chucky's still slinging them still slinging their cheese, okay?
00:04:30.639 --> 00:04:31.040
He's still there.
00:04:31.120 --> 00:04:32.480
So I'm I'm tired, but I'm here.
00:04:32.639 --> 00:04:33.040
Awesome.
00:04:33.120 --> 00:04:33.759
Yeah, yeah.
00:04:34.079 --> 00:04:36.079
Man, what's going on with me?
00:04:36.560 --> 00:04:40.319
I don't, man, listen, uh, let me try to pick something because it's so much.
00:04:40.639 --> 00:04:42.560
Uh, but let me just start with last night.
00:04:42.720 --> 00:04:42.879
Oh.
00:04:43.120 --> 00:04:47.279
I believe I am in a place I have had a having a conversation conversation with God.
00:04:47.680 --> 00:04:56.720
And um I believe it's time for me to turn inward, so to speak, because I've been focused too much outwardly on other stuff.
00:04:56.879 --> 00:05:00.079
And so um, I was thinking about our podcast.
00:05:00.160 --> 00:05:03.199
I'm like, well, Lord, I guess you're gonna give me some stuff to say on now too, huh?
00:05:03.279 --> 00:05:08.800
Because you're gonna be going through some transformation and you know, so um, but life is really good though.
00:05:08.879 --> 00:05:09.680
Yeah, life is really good.
00:05:09.759 --> 00:05:12.720
My son, I got my son living back with me right now for a little while.
00:05:12.800 --> 00:05:14.800
Uh my daughter just graduated from TSU.
00:05:14.959 --> 00:05:15.040
Okay.
00:05:16.240 --> 00:05:20.160
You know, I didn't know you can go from bachelor's to doctorate.
00:05:20.639 --> 00:05:21.920
Depending on the field.
00:05:22.160 --> 00:05:22.319
Yeah.
00:05:22.480 --> 00:05:23.680
I didn't know she's finna get a doctorate.
00:05:23.759 --> 00:05:24.800
I'm like, wait, I don't have a doctorate.
00:05:24.959 --> 00:05:26.800
So anyway, yeah, that's what's up with me, man.
00:05:26.879 --> 00:05:27.439
Yeah, that's good.
00:05:27.600 --> 00:05:28.000
What about you?
00:05:28.240 --> 00:05:28.879
All good stuff.
00:05:28.959 --> 00:05:29.120
Yeah.
00:05:29.279 --> 00:05:31.040
Grateful is the operative word.
00:05:31.120 --> 00:05:31.439
Yeah.
00:05:31.680 --> 00:05:34.560
Um, I have a saying, I don't have a right to grumble.
00:05:35.279 --> 00:05:37.040
Uh, God's been better than good.
00:05:37.199 --> 00:05:38.959
Um, business is going well.
00:05:39.199 --> 00:05:40.639
He's been better than good to me.
00:05:41.040 --> 00:05:42.319
Better than good to me.
00:05:42.720 --> 00:05:43.519
Yeah, yeah.
00:05:43.600 --> 00:05:43.920
Yeah.
00:05:44.079 --> 00:05:46.560
Um, first tenor, second tenor, third tenor, I don't know.
00:05:47.120 --> 00:05:48.639
Um, but really good.
00:05:48.720 --> 00:05:50.240
Um, business has been good.
00:05:50.319 --> 00:05:55.759
It's been a challenge and a holding pattern on some things, but just trusting and believing.
00:05:55.920 --> 00:05:57.920
Um relationship on 10.
00:05:58.399 --> 00:05:58.720
Okay.
00:05:58.959 --> 00:06:03.839
Um, son just got employed, got his own spot out of my pocket.
00:06:04.000 --> 00:06:04.240
Oh.
00:06:04.399 --> 00:06:05.439
He's adulting.
00:06:05.600 --> 00:06:05.759
Yeah.
00:06:06.079 --> 00:06:07.519
All my girls are doing great.
00:06:07.680 --> 00:06:09.199
So, man, life is always good.
00:06:09.439 --> 00:06:09.920
Life is over.
00:06:10.720 --> 00:06:11.759
I'm excited to get that.
00:06:11.839 --> 00:06:13.680
I'm treasuring the moment because my kid is four.
00:06:13.759 --> 00:06:13.920
Yeah.
00:06:14.079 --> 00:06:14.240
Right.
00:06:14.319 --> 00:06:15.920
But y'all have adult children.
00:06:16.000 --> 00:06:16.240
Yes.
00:06:16.480 --> 00:06:17.600
How old are y'all kids?
00:06:17.839 --> 00:06:22.560
Uh, so my my let me see, my daughter just turned 30, um, 33.
00:06:22.800 --> 00:06:23.120
Okay.
00:06:23.600 --> 00:06:26.079
Uh, the Cliff Cliff Jr.
00:06:26.240 --> 00:06:30.000
is 31, and then my son, Chris, is 27.
00:06:30.160 --> 00:06:30.480
Yeah.
00:06:30.639 --> 00:06:31.439
Adult adults.
00:06:31.839 --> 00:06:32.160
Adults.
00:06:32.480 --> 00:06:37.120
29, 26, 25, and 21.
00:06:37.360 --> 00:06:38.079
Oh, that's a lot of people.
00:06:38.319 --> 00:06:38.480
Wow.
00:06:38.639 --> 00:06:39.199
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:06:39.360 --> 00:06:39.600
Yeah.
00:06:39.839 --> 00:06:41.839
Three girls, three girls, three beautiful girls in a boy.
00:06:42.000 --> 00:06:43.199
And I I have one four-year-old.
00:06:43.360 --> 00:06:43.519
Yeah.
00:06:43.680 --> 00:06:43.920
One.
00:06:44.319 --> 00:06:45.759
I feel like one is enough.
00:06:46.959 --> 00:06:47.519
One is enough.
00:06:48.000 --> 00:06:48.560
One is enough.
00:06:48.720 --> 00:06:49.839
But yeah, okay, okay.
00:06:50.160 --> 00:06:52.319
One goal when you're raising girls, stay out of prison.
00:06:52.399 --> 00:06:52.720
That's all.
00:06:52.879 --> 00:06:53.040
Okay.
00:06:53.600 --> 00:06:54.000
Stay out of prison.
00:06:54.079 --> 00:06:54.560
Yeah, just just.
00:06:54.720 --> 00:06:55.360
Now that's a quote.
00:06:55.519 --> 00:06:56.240
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:06:56.319 --> 00:07:04.319
Because uh my greatest fear was that my daughters would bring home some knucklehead and he would do something to harm her, and daddy's going to prison.
00:07:04.480 --> 00:07:04.800
Understood.
00:07:04.959 --> 00:07:05.839
But God has been faithful.
00:07:06.000 --> 00:07:06.560
I could see that.
00:07:06.639 --> 00:07:07.360
I'm still free.
00:07:07.519 --> 00:07:07.839
Yeah.
00:07:08.000 --> 00:07:08.560
Hey.
00:07:09.199 --> 00:07:11.279
We ain't even supposed to be churchy on this podcast.
00:07:11.439 --> 00:07:15.839
But so what's a win you guys have had lately?
00:07:16.399 --> 00:07:17.439
What's a win?
00:07:17.839 --> 00:07:18.879
You know, I'll go.
00:07:18.959 --> 00:07:24.959
Uh, one of my most recent wins is uh I just hired two more therapists for my practice.
00:07:25.279 --> 00:07:32.160
So we are at a total of four black male clinicians at the Imago Day firm, which I'm very, very happy about.
00:07:32.319 --> 00:07:40.399
That's the vision that I had when I first started the practice that I really wanted um a black male therapist cohort of clinicians being able to service the city.
00:07:40.560 --> 00:07:42.720
And so I had one, it was going well.
00:07:42.800 --> 00:07:45.279
And so I said, okay, maybe it's, you know, let's expand a little bit more.
00:07:45.360 --> 00:07:46.639
So I just hired two more.
00:07:46.720 --> 00:07:48.319
Um, and I'm looking to bring on a third.
00:07:48.399 --> 00:07:51.279
So it'll be a total of five of us in various specialties.
00:07:51.439 --> 00:08:01.120
So I'm couples and men, one of my guys specializes in veterans, another one um uh he specializes with teen boys, which by a blessing, because I, you know, I need adults and older.
00:08:01.279 --> 00:08:04.079
Um, and then another one, he is the other one that I brought on.
00:08:04.160 --> 00:08:05.360
He's he's newer to the field.
00:08:05.439 --> 00:08:05.600
Yeah.
00:08:05.759 --> 00:08:10.240
So he'll he will be more generalist practice until he decides to specialize.
00:08:10.399 --> 00:08:11.600
So that's a win for me.
00:08:11.680 --> 00:08:13.120
We we that's a huge win.
00:08:13.279 --> 00:08:13.759
Yeah, yeah.
00:08:13.839 --> 00:08:14.560
I'm really excited.
00:08:14.720 --> 00:08:19.279
I'm really, really excited about where this is gonna go and how we'll be able to impact and service the city.
00:08:19.519 --> 00:08:20.959
So is that a scaling kind of a thing?
00:08:21.199 --> 00:08:22.959
It is a grow your Oh, 100%.
00:08:23.279 --> 00:08:24.959
100% scaling situation.
00:08:25.120 --> 00:08:27.839
Um, that also means as the boss, I gotta have the money to pay to people, right?
00:08:28.000 --> 00:08:28.160
Yeah.
00:08:28.319 --> 00:08:34.240
So that's different too, because you know, working, working as an independent clinician, you know, I just get my money as it comes in.
00:08:34.320 --> 00:08:36.559
Well, now I have three, four guys working under me.
00:08:36.639 --> 00:08:39.759
That means I need to have money already so that I can pay them.
00:08:39.840 --> 00:08:43.679
Yeah, and then I the business will receive it, you know, on the back end as people pay.
00:08:43.759 --> 00:08:45.759
But uh it's uh the Lord is kind.
00:08:45.840 --> 00:08:47.120
We've we've been we've been doing well.
00:08:47.200 --> 00:08:47.600
So good.
00:08:47.759 --> 00:08:48.080
That's my work.
00:08:48.320 --> 00:08:48.720
It's awesome.
00:08:48.879 --> 00:08:49.039
Yeah.
00:08:49.200 --> 00:08:49.840
Congrats on that.
00:08:50.000 --> 00:08:50.240
Thank you.
00:08:50.320 --> 00:08:51.440
That's a fist bump on the book.
00:08:51.519 --> 00:08:52.000
Okay, thank you.
00:08:52.080 --> 00:08:53.279
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:08:53.600 --> 00:08:56.639
Yeah, Cliff, any wins like man, yeah.
00:08:56.720 --> 00:09:07.200
So actually, uh, so I wrote a book earlier this year, uh, it's ebook, and over the last maybe month, it has really gotten, and own places it is on my website.
00:09:07.279 --> 00:09:07.519
Yeah.
00:09:07.679 --> 00:09:13.279
It's called um Five Questions Every Couple Asks After Betrayal.
00:09:14.159 --> 00:09:19.519
And um I've been I've been rewriting, well, I've been editing it, so to speak, but it's on my website.
00:09:19.600 --> 00:09:21.200
And man, it's been doing really good lately.
00:09:21.279 --> 00:09:29.840
So I count that as a win because uh there's no there was no real production cost other than my my energy to write it and uh digitize it.
00:09:29.919 --> 00:09:35.519
Yeah, and so so all the proceeds or all you know the money is just come directly to me because it's on my website.
00:09:35.600 --> 00:09:38.559
I don't have a distributor, not distributed, now maybe get that later.
00:09:38.639 --> 00:09:39.120
Yeah, yeah.
00:09:39.279 --> 00:09:43.360
Um, but it's the first book that I have published.
00:09:43.600 --> 00:09:46.080
Yeah, and I'm excited now because I'm a published author.
00:09:46.159 --> 00:09:46.480
I like that.
00:09:46.639 --> 00:09:47.279
Yeah, absolutely.
00:09:47.519 --> 00:09:48.399
Yeah, congratulations.
00:09:48.639 --> 00:09:49.200
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:09:49.360 --> 00:09:50.720
ISBN number and everything.
00:09:52.320 --> 00:09:53.039
It's a book book.
00:09:53.440 --> 00:09:54.480
It's a book book.
00:09:54.879 --> 00:09:55.440
Love it.
00:09:55.600 --> 00:09:56.559
Yeah, love it.
00:09:56.720 --> 00:09:57.039
Yeah.
00:09:57.279 --> 00:10:04.000
You know, um, I got to sp, I guess my win is I got to spend time with some returning citizens yesterday.
00:10:04.159 --> 00:10:04.480
Okay.
00:10:04.960 --> 00:10:10.399
Um, about 15 men and women who were fresh home from prison.
00:10:11.200 --> 00:10:11.360
Okay.
00:10:11.919 --> 00:10:37.840
And got to pour into them uh around small business development entrepreneurship, um, and got to hear the ingenuity, the intellect, the uh vision that these folks who society sometimes writes off that they have for starting businesses, um, taking care of their families, and becoming productive citizens in community.
00:10:38.080 --> 00:10:39.519
So I would call that a win.
00:10:39.759 --> 00:10:40.159
It is a win.
00:10:40.399 --> 00:10:44.720
Doing a series of work with them and gonna be helping them start businesses.
00:10:44.879 --> 00:10:45.039
Yeah.
00:10:45.360 --> 00:10:45.759
Yeah.
00:10:45.919 --> 00:10:46.799
That's that is a win.
00:10:46.960 --> 00:10:47.519
That's excellent.
00:10:47.600 --> 00:10:47.759
Yeah.
00:10:48.000 --> 00:10:49.440
Because recidivism is high.
00:10:49.519 --> 00:11:00.159
And so, you know, one thing that we know from the data is a lot of people find themselves incarcerated due to a lack of economic uh status, if you will, or neck economic opportunity.
00:11:00.320 --> 00:11:02.960
So being able to come as soon as they are.
00:11:03.039 --> 00:11:04.000
How did you how did you phrase it?
00:11:04.080 --> 00:11:04.639
Returning citizen?
00:11:04.799 --> 00:11:05.279
Returning citizen.
00:11:05.440 --> 00:11:05.679
I like that.
00:11:05.840 --> 00:11:08.399
That's the yeah, that's the politically correct term.
00:11:08.639 --> 00:11:09.279
No, that's a good thing.
00:11:09.440 --> 00:11:11.279
No, the term we call them ex offenders.
00:11:11.360 --> 00:11:11.519
Yeah.
00:11:11.679 --> 00:11:12.559
Uh whatever, you know.
00:11:12.879 --> 00:11:14.320
No, I love that because it's strength-based.
00:11:14.399 --> 00:11:14.480
Yeah.
00:11:14.639 --> 00:11:19.600
Like it doesn't, it doesn't delegate them or relegate them to this thing that they did.
00:11:19.679 --> 00:11:19.840
Yeah.
00:11:20.000 --> 00:11:21.279
No, they're a returning citizen.
00:11:21.360 --> 00:11:29.519
And so, like, being able to provide for oneself helps reduce recidivism, which is, you know, the word going back into the system.
00:11:29.759 --> 00:11:30.799
So now that is a win.
00:11:30.879 --> 00:11:31.200
That's great.
00:11:31.360 --> 00:11:31.440
Yes.
00:11:31.679 --> 00:11:31.919
Yes.
00:11:32.080 --> 00:11:32.240
Yeah.
00:11:32.559 --> 00:11:33.440
Y'all ready to jump in?
00:11:33.600 --> 00:11:34.399
Yeah, let's do it.
00:11:34.639 --> 00:11:50.000
So, you know, we're gonna start with um kind of a current event and just what's happening on the scene, you know, things that I think are socially, politically, um, maybe even spiritually, you know, engaging for our audience.
00:11:50.320 --> 00:11:58.240
And I couldn't help but tap into the headlines, the recent news about our boy Ryan Clark.
00:11:59.759 --> 00:12:01.279
My fraternity brother.
00:12:01.600 --> 00:12:11.120
Um, for those who don't know, recently, I think July fired from ESPN mid-broadcast.
00:12:11.279 --> 00:12:12.480
He was actually on the air.
00:12:12.639 --> 00:12:13.120
It's crazy.
00:12:13.279 --> 00:12:15.279
Um, ESPN did a bunch of layoffs.
00:12:15.360 --> 00:12:21.759
They kind of, you know, if you let him tell it, he said that they masked it as a layoff, but it was really a firing.
00:12:22.000 --> 00:12:34.000
He was not in good graces with some of the executives because of his pro-social, pro-political, um, social justice stances that he's taken as an analyst um and was let go.
00:12:35.440 --> 00:12:44.000
And just got word that he just signed an epic deal, a multi-year deal for his podcast, the pivot with Netflix.
00:12:44.159 --> 00:12:44.879
Yeah, that's crazy.
00:12:45.039 --> 00:12:45.679
That's beautiful.
00:12:45.840 --> 00:12:47.039
How y'all feel about that?
00:12:47.200 --> 00:12:48.320
I feel like good.
00:12:49.279 --> 00:12:49.600
Yeah.
00:12:49.919 --> 00:12:51.519
Let me say this on the onset.
00:12:51.600 --> 00:12:53.120
I don't know much about the sports.
00:12:53.200 --> 00:12:55.200
I mean, I know I look big and all the things.
00:12:55.279 --> 00:12:56.720
My father was a football player.
00:12:56.799 --> 00:12:57.679
This is just DNA.
00:12:57.840 --> 00:13:05.360
I was more of the artistic kid, so I don't really get into the sports that that that deep, but when it intersects with culture and society, I'm all in.
00:13:05.519 --> 00:13:10.480
So finding out what happened with Ryan Clark, kind of also knowing a little bit about his career and his stances.
00:13:10.559 --> 00:13:17.279
Yeah, I think it's actually kind of par for the course for ESPN based on my research and how they've done other folks uh that look like him, that look like us.
00:13:17.360 --> 00:13:17.519
Yeah.
00:13:17.759 --> 00:13:19.279
And so that part is par for the course.
00:13:19.360 --> 00:13:22.000
But what I really liked was his response afterward.
00:13:22.080 --> 00:13:22.320
Yeah.
00:13:22.559 --> 00:13:34.480
And uh, you know, I would say maybe like a day or two, he took some time and came out and basically told us how he really tried to be a representative for people who look like him and share our experiences.
00:13:34.559 --> 00:13:34.639
Yeah.
00:13:34.799 --> 00:13:46.559
And to that, I'm gonna always stand 10 toes down with that person and to do it in such a dignified and respectable way, which is anti-cultural because we're real big on the clapback.
00:13:46.639 --> 00:13:46.799
Yeah.
00:13:46.879 --> 00:13:50.559
And I think we would have created some space for him to clap back if he wanted to.
00:13:50.720 --> 00:13:50.879
Yeah.
00:13:51.200 --> 00:14:00.480
But for him to take this dignified role and then what, um a month or two, two months later, yeah, get this massive deal, I say kudos to him.
00:14:00.559 --> 00:14:00.799
Yes.
00:14:01.039 --> 00:14:01.840
Kudos to you.
00:14:01.919 --> 00:14:07.200
And let that be a lesson to us all on how to how to how to pave the road during adversity.
00:14:07.360 --> 00:14:07.600
Yeah.
00:14:07.679 --> 00:14:07.840
Yeah.
00:14:08.000 --> 00:14:08.480
I love it.
00:14:08.639 --> 00:14:09.279
Yeah, man.
00:14:09.360 --> 00:14:13.759
You know, I don't know a lot about the Ryan Clark situation.
00:14:13.840 --> 00:14:18.879
I know who Ryan Clark is, and I I watched Pivot in passing sometimes, right?
00:14:19.120 --> 00:14:25.679
Um, so I remember when he got fired, and just what I heard from the story, like, you know, what you said, uh getting fired on air.
00:14:25.759 --> 00:14:26.480
I think that's crazy.
00:14:26.559 --> 00:14:26.879
It's crazy.
00:14:27.039 --> 00:14:28.799
I think companies, when they do that, like what?
00:14:29.360 --> 00:14:30.240
These are human beings.
00:14:30.320 --> 00:14:31.200
Why do you treat people that way?
00:14:31.519 --> 00:14:32.000
Yeah, period.
00:14:32.159 --> 00:14:39.919
But anyway, find him on on, and then I saw his his interview on his on his podcast when he talked about it and everything, and everything that you said, and how he handled it.
00:14:40.080 --> 00:14:40.879
I was, I'm with you.
00:14:40.960 --> 00:14:48.240
Like, I I thought that he was um very controlled, because I I don't think I would have been.
00:14:48.639 --> 00:14:53.200
Um But but like you say, that's that's I I think it that's an example for us to follow.
00:14:53.279 --> 00:14:59.120
Yeah, but then the biggest thing, I just saw this maybe a couple of, I don't know when it happened, but I saw again it came across my timeline.
00:14:59.200 --> 00:15:02.320
I didn't click on it, but the fact that he got this deal with Netflix.
00:15:02.399 --> 00:15:03.440
Yeah, I was like, wow.
00:15:03.519 --> 00:15:03.679
Yeah.
00:15:03.840 --> 00:15:05.679
So here's what that speaks to me though.
00:15:06.639 --> 00:15:12.480
In in my own personal, it speaks to me the idea that, and I don't know, I don't know what his belief system is, anything like that.
00:15:12.799 --> 00:15:17.679
But it speaks to me if you if if you show up, you're prepared, you do what you're supposed to do.
00:15:17.759 --> 00:15:18.960
Yeah, you do your job.
00:15:19.279 --> 00:15:22.320
Man can fire you, but just don't do the clap back.
00:15:22.639 --> 00:15:23.600
Let God fight your battles.
00:15:23.679 --> 00:15:31.279
Again, I don't know if this is what Ryan did, but just a lesson I could take from uh uh um let God fight your battles, another opportunity is gonna come up open for you.
00:15:31.360 --> 00:15:36.159
Yeah, but then the thing is too though, now I mean the brother wasn't gonna be hurting.
00:15:36.320 --> 00:15:38.639
He had a podcast and and and YouTube pays well.
00:15:38.799 --> 00:15:45.200
I don't know where else he's getting paid on, you know, on so so and then not to get into his money, but that's what I took from it.
00:15:45.279 --> 00:15:49.200
Like when a door closes, uh fret not thyself.
00:15:50.159 --> 00:15:51.360
There's another door.
00:15:51.919 --> 00:15:59.120
If you if when you become a stable man, yeah, yeah, you you you can wait on God and then maybe another door open for you.
00:15:59.360 --> 00:15:59.759
That's good.
00:15:59.840 --> 00:16:02.639
Yeah, that's hopeful that wasn't too deep for y'all, but that's what I got out of it.
00:16:02.799 --> 00:16:03.039
No, yeah.
00:16:04.559 --> 00:16:06.480
Yeah, yeah, that was that was that was right on point.
00:16:06.960 --> 00:16:12.000
Um when one door closes, another one opens.
00:16:12.720 --> 00:16:15.600
And um happy for him, man.
00:16:15.759 --> 00:16:16.240
Yeah, yeah.
00:16:16.639 --> 00:16:36.960
Uh he he is a good soul, he has a good heart, he is a um vested, retired NFL pro-athlete Hall of Famer, but he's also um a seriously conscious and pro-social man in our community.
00:16:37.039 --> 00:16:38.000
So happy for him.
00:16:38.080 --> 00:16:38.320
Yeah.
00:16:38.559 --> 00:16:39.279
How do we meet?
00:16:39.360 --> 00:16:40.879
How do we decide to do this?
00:16:42.080 --> 00:16:47.200
You I was in the gym.
00:16:47.440 --> 00:16:48.320
Right, right, right.
00:16:48.639 --> 00:16:54.559
Working a back day, and you walked up to me and we got to talking, and next thing I know, we're here.
00:16:54.720 --> 00:16:56.559
Yeah, and I'm at Cliff at church.
00:16:56.639 --> 00:17:01.919
So we met each other and we got it with that little cohort thing we got, and then Johnny, we've been knowing each other over 20.
00:17:02.080 --> 00:17:03.919
So I did, I did his wedding.
00:17:04.000 --> 00:17:04.240
Yeah.
00:17:04.480 --> 00:17:05.759
Way how long ago was that?
00:17:05.920 --> 00:17:07.519
Man, that was was it 96?
00:17:07.680 --> 00:17:08.960
That was 1997.
00:17:09.680 --> 00:17:10.799
29 years ago.
00:17:10.960 --> 00:17:11.119
Wow.
00:17:11.279 --> 00:17:11.839
I did his wedding.
00:17:12.160 --> 00:17:14.960
Now we have friends and fellowship for 29 years.
00:17:15.119 --> 00:17:18.319
We reconnected um over the last year or so.
00:17:18.480 --> 00:17:18.640
Yeah.
00:17:18.799 --> 00:17:20.720
And you know, John was like, hey man, let's do a podcast.
00:17:20.799 --> 00:17:22.160
And so, yeah, that's how we got here.
00:17:22.319 --> 00:17:22.480
Yeah.
00:17:22.720 --> 00:17:28.559
So, so probably for three years, um, a podcast has been in my spirit.
00:17:28.720 --> 00:17:40.160
Um, transitioning from full-time church ministry, going through the pandemic, preaching to a camera in an empty auditorium for 18 months during the shutdown.
00:17:40.559 --> 00:17:47.839
Um, a podcast's been in my spirit and wanted to do it with some dynamic men.
00:17:49.039 --> 00:17:51.200
And it just wasn't the right time.
00:17:52.240 --> 00:17:56.880
And we all go to the same church, incidentally, we all go to the same church.
00:17:57.759 --> 00:18:05.440
I've been seeing you, you know, as a leader in our church, come up to the front every Sunday where you sit, you and your wife.
00:18:05.519 --> 00:18:07.599
And I was like, it's something on that brother.
00:18:07.680 --> 00:18:09.039
Like, I need to meet him.
00:18:09.920 --> 00:18:13.200
I said that to myself for weeks and months.
00:18:14.000 --> 00:18:15.519
Ran into you in the gym.
00:18:15.759 --> 00:18:16.079
Yeah.
00:18:16.319 --> 00:18:20.799
Cliff and I had already been talking about starting a podcast called The Stable Man.
00:18:21.759 --> 00:18:28.400
Um, and just timing and just dynamics didn't um precipitate it to happen.
00:18:28.640 --> 00:18:30.799
And I'm like, I think he's the one.
00:18:30.960 --> 00:18:32.559
And the spirit told me, yeah, go talk to him.
00:18:32.640 --> 00:18:34.240
Just just just test the waters.
00:18:34.640 --> 00:18:37.599
And Quentin was open, Clifton was open.
00:18:37.839 --> 00:18:41.039
We've been meeting, been planning, been praying, been preparing, and here we are.
00:18:41.119 --> 00:18:41.759
And here we are.
00:18:42.720 --> 00:18:43.519
I'm excited.
00:18:43.680 --> 00:18:44.559
Yeah, I am too.
00:18:44.720 --> 00:18:47.119
I I love how the spirit moves, and I'm I'm honored, you know.
00:18:47.200 --> 00:18:51.200
Clearly, y'all were already ace-boom coon, you know, to bring me in.
00:18:51.440 --> 00:18:54.640
I'm like, well, I'm I'm the young guy, but you know, hey, why not?
00:18:54.720 --> 00:18:55.839
Let's let's see what we got.
00:18:55.920 --> 00:18:57.519
So I'm excited about it.
00:18:57.839 --> 00:18:59.359
So uh our pillars.
00:18:59.519 --> 00:19:02.559
Can somebody just share on what our pillars are for the podcast?
00:19:03.119 --> 00:19:12.880
Um, so you're talking about faith, family, family, finance, and fidelity, freedom, fun, food.
00:19:12.960 --> 00:19:13.599
No, I'm kidding.
00:19:14.640 --> 00:19:15.839
I'm just going with the Fs.
00:19:15.920 --> 00:19:17.839
No, but but on the serious uh um faith.
00:19:17.920 --> 00:19:20.720
I saw with faith, I'll let y'all talk about some of the other, but faith, yeah, man.
00:19:20.799 --> 00:19:28.160
Listen, um faith, don't think faith, like we can go churchy, but don't think faith so much as far as church.
00:19:28.400 --> 00:19:30.079
Think of faith as how you live your life.
00:19:31.119 --> 00:19:36.079
What we're trying to present on this podcast, um, increase your faith the way you live.
00:19:36.240 --> 00:19:37.920
Don't always live by what you see.
00:19:38.160 --> 00:19:39.119
Circumstances is bad.
00:19:39.279 --> 00:19:40.720
Oh man, I I quit.
00:19:40.799 --> 00:19:41.680
This is ain't gonna work.
00:19:41.759 --> 00:19:42.319
Yeah, no.
00:19:42.559 --> 00:19:48.000
Faith, we want to build men of faith because you can't see around the corner, but there's a God that can.
00:19:48.079 --> 00:19:49.279
And so I said I'm gonna be spiritual.
00:19:49.599 --> 00:19:50.000
Well, I'm sorry.
00:19:50.400 --> 00:19:52.400
So he can see around the corner.
00:19:52.480 --> 00:19:56.880
So when you have that faith piece, yeah, that's going to help you be a stable man.
00:19:57.119 --> 00:19:57.279
Yeah.
00:19:57.599 --> 00:19:57.759
Yeah.
00:19:57.920 --> 00:19:59.519
I'm gonna pass somebody else for family.
00:19:59.680 --> 00:20:00.799
Okay, I'll go family.
00:20:00.880 --> 00:20:06.640
Uh, I think family is it's extremely critical and important in a man's life.
00:20:06.799 --> 00:20:12.640
Uh, family doesn't necessarily mean marriage, it doesn't necessarily mean kids because you can have a family and not have those things.
00:20:12.799 --> 00:20:14.319
However, I am married.
00:20:14.480 --> 00:20:19.039
You all have been married and have a lot of experience um in that realm.
00:20:19.119 --> 00:20:28.799
And I think that we have a mindset and a viewpoint of how um having a family, wife and kids, it builds you in a certain type of way.
00:20:28.880 --> 00:20:29.039
Yeah.
00:20:29.279 --> 00:20:47.759
If you allow it, if you really dive into that thing and really stand into the leadership position that uh I believe that we believe men should be in, it is it is a certain stability that comes from taking on a family, taking on the responsibility of other people and leading them in such a way that would not only be beneficial to them, but beneficial to the people around you.
00:20:47.839 --> 00:20:50.319
And so we had to put that as a pillar as well in this podcast.
00:20:50.559 --> 00:20:51.519
Yeah, that's powerful.
00:20:51.680 --> 00:21:01.119
I would say the finance pillar is based on what we all know to be true, and that is that um faith moves heaven, money moves earth.
00:21:01.359 --> 00:21:02.640
Hey, my gosh, on today.
00:21:02.960 --> 00:21:11.759
Um there's a proverb that King Solomon said, he said that the feast is for laughter uh and wine makes merry, but money answers all things.
00:21:12.720 --> 00:21:15.839
And so, you know, money answers money problems.
00:21:16.000 --> 00:21:35.279
Um, one of my greatest mistakes as a younger man, as I was pursuing quote unquote trying to become a stable man, was that um I prioritized a lot of faith stuff, a lot of giving back, a lot of helping others, but I didn't prioritize my own financial health early on.
00:21:36.160 --> 00:21:44.000
Um and my advice to younger men or any man who's pursuing stability, um, prioritize your financial health.
00:21:44.160 --> 00:21:44.480
Yeah.
00:21:45.359 --> 00:21:47.519
I think the last pillar is fidelity.
00:21:48.000 --> 00:21:48.640
Fidelity.
00:21:49.119 --> 00:21:49.359
Yeah.
00:21:49.519 --> 00:21:54.720
You can't, you can't, uh, and the reason I pick fidelity is because that's I that's what I deal with on a daily basis.
00:21:54.960 --> 00:21:59.759
Men who have become unfaithful to their wives, they're walking in.
00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:00.880
Infidelity.
00:22:01.039 --> 00:22:01.279
Wow.
00:22:01.920 --> 00:22:02.240
Wow.
00:22:02.480 --> 00:22:05.759
You can't be, you, you can't, you can't have a stable family.
00:22:05.839 --> 00:22:06.000
Yeah.
00:22:06.319 --> 00:22:11.519
You can't be a stable man if you don't operate in fidelity, as we're calling it.
00:22:11.599 --> 00:22:17.759
Like you gotta, you gotta have some standards, some boundaries, some morals that's going to uh allow your wife to be safe.
00:22:17.839 --> 00:22:24.240
What a lot of men don't know is your number one responsibility, number one, is to provide safety.
00:22:24.480 --> 00:22:29.279
You can't provide safety if you're not um committed to fidelity.
00:22:29.440 --> 00:22:30.559
Yeah, it's not gonna happen.
00:22:30.799 --> 00:22:31.279
That's good.
00:22:31.359 --> 00:22:31.680
Yeah.
00:22:32.079 --> 00:22:37.359
So who would you all say is our target audience?
00:22:37.519 --> 00:22:40.240
I mean, it might be women, it might be men, it might be younger, it might be older.
00:22:40.319 --> 00:22:43.440
Who are we trying to reach with the Stable Man podcast?
00:22:43.680 --> 00:22:46.480
I think it's good for Quentin next, because you had a good answer the other day.
00:22:46.640 --> 00:22:46.880
I did.
00:22:47.759 --> 00:22:48.319
What did I say?
00:22:48.480 --> 00:22:51.279
You I thought was I dreaming?
00:22:51.519 --> 00:22:52.319
I thought you did.
00:22:52.559 --> 00:22:53.039
What did I say?
00:22:53.279 --> 00:22:53.920
Hold on, let me think.
00:22:54.079 --> 00:22:54.640
What do you say?
00:22:55.279 --> 00:22:56.880
Uh wait a minute.
00:22:57.440 --> 00:22:58.000
Was it you?
00:22:58.240 --> 00:22:58.799
Was it me?
00:22:58.880 --> 00:23:00.720
It was you question about like our audience.
00:23:00.880 --> 00:23:04.799
I thought you um, so I'll try to regurgitate what you say.
00:23:05.039 --> 00:23:06.559
You know, I was real tired when we had that meeting.
00:23:06.640 --> 00:23:08.319
I was right, yeah, you're right, right.
00:23:09.279 --> 00:23:10.880
So I'm like, I don't know what you're talking about.
00:23:11.039 --> 00:23:13.119
So, so that's funny.
00:23:14.640 --> 00:23:22.000
So, so we want to reach first, we want to reach reach men who we realize a lot of men don't have community.
00:23:22.160 --> 00:23:22.640
Yeah, yeah.
00:23:22.880 --> 00:23:31.839
And so we want to provide, not necessarily community here, like you, we're we're not communing with you, but we want to give you um information and tools to help you become stable.
00:23:31.920 --> 00:23:36.480
Yeah, because we believe that uh men are the foundation of society.
00:23:36.559 --> 00:23:38.720
Yeah, and then the family is built on the man.
00:23:38.799 --> 00:23:48.559
Yeah, and then uh uh the neighborhood is built on the family, and then the city is built on the neighborhood, and then the state is built on the city, and then the nation is built on the state.
00:23:49.359 --> 00:23:53.759
Ultimately, the world, if we look at it, it we need we need stronger men.
00:23:53.839 --> 00:23:54.559
Yeah, right?
00:23:54.720 --> 00:24:00.160
So our audience is um, first of all, men who want to do something with their lives.
00:24:00.880 --> 00:24:03.599
Don't worry about where you're starting, the goal is where you're going.
00:24:03.680 --> 00:24:06.480
And then um what age range?
00:24:06.720 --> 00:24:08.559
If you if you're a man, that age range.
00:24:08.640 --> 00:24:10.079
That yeah, that's the age range.
00:24:10.319 --> 00:24:10.720
Yeah, man.
00:24:10.880 --> 00:24:11.440
Right there.
00:24:11.599 --> 00:24:12.000
Yeah.
00:24:12.319 --> 00:24:12.960
Man, man.
00:24:13.359 --> 00:24:31.279
It was something that you just said, it triggered a uh not a part of the conversation that we had then, but just the ideology I've long held true to, which is why I've even built my therapy business the way that I have, really trying to bring men in as clinicians and then go out and serve men, is that I truly believe that uh men are just natural-born leaders.
00:24:31.519 --> 00:24:33.359
And that is not to say that women are not leaders.
00:24:33.440 --> 00:24:34.160
So hear me clear.
00:24:34.240 --> 00:24:34.400
Right.
00:24:34.559 --> 00:24:38.720
I believe, look at, look at when we started in the garden, the man was given the assignment, right?
00:24:38.880 --> 00:24:51.599
So the Lord has already put something in us to say that you are a leader, go forth and lead, which then means that we have the great potential to either do devastating harm or immaculate good.
00:24:51.759 --> 00:24:52.000
Wow.
00:24:52.160 --> 00:25:02.960
And when I look at couples, when I look at society, when I look at all the things around me, who is the larger perpetrator of harm?
00:25:03.119 --> 00:25:03.359
Yeah.
00:25:03.599 --> 00:25:04.240
It's us.
00:25:04.400 --> 00:25:04.640
Yeah.
00:25:05.279 --> 00:25:08.799
Because we have great capacity to impact those around us.
00:25:08.960 --> 00:25:12.559
And so I think that is my uh, you asked this earlier, I'm gonna just loop it back around.
00:25:12.640 --> 00:25:14.559
That is really my buy-in to this podcast as well.
00:25:14.640 --> 00:25:14.799
Yeah.
00:25:14.960 --> 00:25:20.720
In trying to reach the men to achieve that stability because we truly are the anchors.
00:25:20.799 --> 00:25:30.559
And if we could just inch towards um a better operating system, if you will, yeah, then I do think that will improve the lives of uh the people in the community around us.
00:25:30.720 --> 00:25:30.960
Yeah.
00:25:31.440 --> 00:25:31.839
Yeah.
00:25:32.079 --> 00:26:02.559
Um, you know, I think the stable man podcast is going to be a safe place for younger men, older men, um, wherever you are in your journey, to hear, connect, um, be sharpened, um, plug into content that is centered around faith, family, finance, and fidelity, but that will edify you, help you to feel seen, help you to feel safe, and help you to grow.
00:26:03.440 --> 00:26:03.759
Yeah.
00:26:04.480 --> 00:26:07.279
Um Kenny Luck, excuse me.
00:26:07.519 --> 00:26:08.559
Um, Kenny Luck, Dr.
00:26:08.640 --> 00:26:15.519
Kenny Luck is the men's ministry pastor at um Saddleback Church, Rick Warren's Church, one of the largest churches in the country.
00:26:15.599 --> 00:26:17.519
He wrote a book called Sleeping Giant.
00:26:18.079 --> 00:26:24.160
And in the book, he presupposes um this notion that men explode.
00:26:24.319 --> 00:26:27.680
They either explode for good or they explode for evil.
00:26:28.960 --> 00:26:38.559
Um based on when you look at a man's heart, out of it, the fruit that he bears is going to be born whether it's good fruit or bad fruit.
00:26:39.119 --> 00:26:40.640
So men explode.
00:26:41.039 --> 00:27:03.279
Um and our aim and our hope is that as we journey together on the Stableman podcast, that we will plant seeds that bear good fruit, um, that bear wisdom, that bear discipline, that bear temperance, uh, make you laugh, uh, make you say ouch, make you say, you know, ow.
00:27:03.359 --> 00:27:06.319
If you can't say amen, say hey man, you know.
00:27:06.720 --> 00:27:11.039
And just journey with us along along this podcast journey.
00:27:11.279 --> 00:27:12.400
You're really a preacher.
00:27:15.039 --> 00:27:15.440
Yes.
00:27:16.559 --> 00:27:19.039
So define stability.
00:27:19.200 --> 00:27:20.400
What is a stable man?
00:27:20.559 --> 00:27:29.200
Um, if you had to give your own definition of what a stable man looks like, what is a stable man?
00:27:29.359 --> 00:27:30.559
Because women might want to know.
00:27:30.880 --> 00:27:34.000
We got some women who might be following this podcast who may plug in.
00:27:34.160 --> 00:27:34.960
What is a stable man?
00:27:35.039 --> 00:27:36.000
Ladies, what's a stable man?
00:27:36.160 --> 00:27:37.839
Brothers, what's a stable man?
00:27:38.640 --> 00:27:50.240
Um so if I had to say what a stable man is, first of all, I believe that there are probably different areas of stability that you would have to check off before you can say you're a stable man.
00:27:50.319 --> 00:27:51.519
And then let me say this.
00:27:51.680 --> 00:27:58.640
Uh that wouldn't be so if you're looking at a a grade or paper, whatever, you wouldn't have to get 100 in each class, or I'm stable here, I'm stable here.
00:27:58.799 --> 00:27:59.599
That's unrealistic.
00:27:59.680 --> 00:28:00.319
You'd be perfect.
00:28:00.400 --> 00:28:00.720
Yeah.
00:28:01.359 --> 00:28:04.559
Um, but maybe, and you know, I'm gonna put this out here publicly.
00:28:04.640 --> 00:28:09.920
Maybe we should come up with some kind of rubric where we can, just for some folk to look at it, it's not gonna be official, right?
00:28:10.319 --> 00:28:15.759
But say, you know, hey, when you're stable up to this number or whatever in this area, this area, then you're stable.
00:28:15.920 --> 00:28:20.960
But to get to the question, to the answer, uh, you gotta be stable in your finances.
00:28:21.359 --> 00:28:23.039
Um I'm like you.
00:28:23.200 --> 00:28:27.759
When I was younger, nobody told me how important money was.
00:28:27.920 --> 00:28:29.519
I chased love all my life.
00:28:29.759 --> 00:28:30.960
Love is the most important thing.
00:28:31.039 --> 00:28:32.240
We can't live without love.
00:28:32.799 --> 00:28:34.559
Well, but nobody told me.
00:28:34.880 --> 00:28:39.039
I said, well, once you get the love, how you gonna pay for it?
00:28:39.599 --> 00:28:40.160
It's correct.
00:28:40.480 --> 00:28:42.880
Because like you said, faith moves heaven.
00:28:43.359 --> 00:28:45.359
But see, man, I wish I'd have had that.
00:28:45.759 --> 00:28:50.240
I that's a good, I feel like I live my life as if faith moves earth.
00:28:50.319 --> 00:28:50.799
That's good.
00:28:51.039 --> 00:28:53.839
Because I grew up in church, which means I grew up in religion.
00:28:54.160 --> 00:28:56.559
But that caused me to be unstable.
00:28:56.720 --> 00:29:03.839
And so uh being stable is about um you know, securing your finances, securing your mental.
00:29:04.000 --> 00:29:07.359
We can't, we we can't be stable without our mental health being stable.
00:29:07.440 --> 00:29:07.839
Yeah, right.
00:29:08.000 --> 00:29:09.680
We live in a mental health stage.
00:29:09.759 --> 00:29:13.839
Yeah, so um because I didn't say a whole lot of words, I'm gonna leave it right there.
00:29:14.000 --> 00:29:14.720
I got more to say.
00:29:14.799 --> 00:29:16.480
Yeah, but we got the three-man podcast.
00:29:16.559 --> 00:29:20.000
Yeah, but stability, we gotta be, if you're not gonna be stable, you're gonna be shaking.
00:29:20.079 --> 00:29:20.960
Your wife's gonna want that.
00:29:23.759 --> 00:29:27.440
Yeah, I think for me, stability.
00:29:27.599 --> 00:29:40.799
A stable man is really a person who has uh not only vision for their life, but also has concrete steps to achieve that vision.
00:29:42.000 --> 00:29:48.880
What I mean is we I I believe we probably all have met a person who has all these ideas, but you don't see movement.
00:29:49.359 --> 00:29:50.880
And an idea can really be placed anyway.
00:29:50.960 --> 00:29:55.599
It can be placed in finances, it can be placed in, you know, family, kids, whatever.
00:29:55.839 --> 00:30:01.680
So you have you're a dreamer, and dreaming is not bad, but we see no execution in the things that you say that you want.
00:30:01.839 --> 00:30:17.440
And so stability can look like many different things, but I think a stable man is one that has the vision, has the dream, but has also done the work to know what steps there are to take, and then take those steps, even if they are incremental steps towards the thing that he's trying to achieve.
00:30:17.680 --> 00:30:17.920
That's good.
00:30:18.000 --> 00:30:18.960
That's oh man, that's rich.
00:30:19.039 --> 00:30:19.279
That's good.
00:30:19.519 --> 00:30:19.920
That's rich.
00:30:20.079 --> 00:30:25.920
I'm gonna take the approach um uh in defining a stable man uh as a chair.
00:30:26.319 --> 00:30:28.319
Um who's gonna sit on a chair that's not stable?
00:30:28.799 --> 00:30:28.960
Yeah.
00:30:29.200 --> 00:30:29.440
Right?
00:30:29.759 --> 00:30:31.920
A chair has four legs.
00:30:32.559 --> 00:30:37.920
Um in this case, we're going to say, you know, most chairs, uh, most traditional chairs have four legs.
00:30:38.640 --> 00:30:48.799
Um we'll say leg one is faith, leg two is family, leg three is finance, leg three is fidelity.
00:30:49.039 --> 00:31:01.200
Um if faith, family, finance, and fidelity make up a stable man, then let's roll with that paradigm just for a second.
00:31:01.519 --> 00:31:08.000
If one of those legs are broken, is that man stable?
00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:12.720
Would you sit on a chair that has one broken leg?
00:31:14.079 --> 00:31:14.720
I'm too big.
00:31:15.920 --> 00:31:17.680
Or one week a wobbly leg.
00:31:17.920 --> 00:31:18.720
Or one week a wildly.
00:31:18.960 --> 00:31:21.200
And so here's my definition of a stable man.
00:31:22.640 --> 00:31:32.079
At least having attention to the stability and health of your life in those four areas.
00:31:32.240 --> 00:31:42.640
It is, I'm all my legs may not be the strongest right now, but I'm aware that maybe I'm lacking in my faith.
00:31:43.279 --> 00:31:45.599
I'm aware that maybe I'm lacking in my finances.
00:31:45.759 --> 00:31:48.319
And I turn that chair upside down and I'm working on that thing.
00:31:48.400 --> 00:31:50.000
I'm got me some gorilla glue.
00:31:50.160 --> 00:31:54.880
I got me some, you know, whatever it is, Cliff, you're a you're a wood shop guy, so you can relate.
00:31:55.039 --> 00:31:58.240
Y'all, Cliff has the most profound wood shop in his garage.
00:31:58.400 --> 00:32:03.359
This man be making dressers, placards, chairs, everything.
00:32:03.599 --> 00:32:04.559
Oh, I got an order for you.
00:32:05.440 --> 00:32:06.480
I need some stuff made.
00:32:06.799 --> 00:32:07.599
Custom made.
00:32:07.680 --> 00:32:08.000
Yeah.
00:32:08.240 --> 00:32:15.119
Um, but having the level of truth within myself to walk in truth and say, you know what?
00:32:15.279 --> 00:32:17.200
I'm struggling in my fidelity right now.
00:32:17.440 --> 00:32:18.640
I need to work on that.
00:32:18.880 --> 00:32:21.200
I'm struggling in my faith right now.
00:32:21.279 --> 00:32:22.559
I need to work, I'm struggling in my faith.
00:32:22.799 --> 00:32:29.440
And just pursuing stability in a spirit of truth with the goal of becoming stable.
00:32:32.400 --> 00:32:32.960
I like that.
00:32:33.200 --> 00:32:33.599
I do.
00:32:34.640 --> 00:32:44.640
So if there was one takeaway from this inaugural introductory podcast that you would want our listeners to walk away with, what would it be?
00:32:45.039 --> 00:32:46.079
Hold on, you know what?
00:32:46.559 --> 00:32:50.240
Because how before we get to the, I ain't always getting this close to the end.
00:32:50.319 --> 00:32:50.480
Yeah.
00:32:50.799 --> 00:32:51.759
Something you said.
00:32:52.000 --> 00:32:52.480
What'd I say?
00:32:52.720 --> 00:33:03.039
I wanted to come back to and kind of like piggyback on uh because I think it's I think it's powerful, especially even for this, for this introductory show, yeah, and to establish it.
00:33:03.119 --> 00:33:05.359
But I really kind of want to get y'all's opinion on this.
00:33:05.680 --> 00:33:05.920
Okay.
00:33:06.400 --> 00:33:18.319
So so I've been saying because I believe that if you were born a man, if you're born a male, it is God's intent for you to lead.
00:33:18.480 --> 00:33:21.200
Now, whether or not you lead or not, don't know.
00:33:21.440 --> 00:33:27.680
But everybody born with the well, male, yeah, you're to lead.
00:33:28.000 --> 00:33:30.000
And so what are your thoughts about that?
00:33:30.240 --> 00:33:30.960
That's great.
00:33:31.039 --> 00:33:37.839
Uh, I think I even the even the uh idea of whether you lead or not is up to you.
00:33:38.079 --> 00:33:40.480
I happen to believe that every man is a leader regardless.
00:33:40.640 --> 00:33:42.079
Leader don't mean good.
00:33:42.319 --> 00:33:43.839
We got some bad leaders.
00:33:44.079 --> 00:33:45.519
We ain't supposed to be getting political.
00:33:45.680 --> 00:33:50.000
But we got some bad leaders just in the mix, if you will, right?
00:33:50.240 --> 00:33:54.480
So I don't believe that leader is a good trait.
00:33:54.640 --> 00:33:59.359
It's just the ability, the really the gifting to have people follow you.
00:33:59.599 --> 00:34:00.559
That's all a leader is.
00:34:00.640 --> 00:34:01.759
So you could be good or bad.
00:34:01.920 --> 00:34:09.039
So I often tell, you know, even in my one-to-ones, because I I do see women as therapy clients, you know, where is he leading you to?
00:34:09.280 --> 00:34:10.559
That's really the question, right?
00:34:10.719 --> 00:34:13.599
So if you flip it on that, I think that every man is going to lead.
00:34:13.679 --> 00:34:15.440
Where are you leading yourself?
00:34:15.679 --> 00:34:17.039
Who are you following?
00:34:17.199 --> 00:34:19.440
And then where are you leading the people behind you?
00:34:19.760 --> 00:34:20.079
That part.
00:34:20.239 --> 00:34:21.199
Because you're leading them somewhere.
00:34:21.280 --> 00:34:21.440
Yeah.
00:34:21.679 --> 00:34:22.000
That part.
00:34:22.159 --> 00:34:22.480
Yeah.
00:34:22.639 --> 00:34:23.519
Um, I agree.
00:34:23.679 --> 00:34:26.880
Every man is a leader, is called to lead.
00:34:27.039 --> 00:34:30.719
Uh, I think you'd have some wives, some girlfriends that disagree with that.
00:34:30.960 --> 00:34:37.679
That's how that have some beta um husbands and who they wish would lead, who just don't have it in them.
00:34:38.159 --> 00:34:43.119
I know, I know, I know the men, you know, I know men who are like, baby, whatever you say.
00:34:43.440 --> 00:34:44.800
It's whatever you say, baby.
00:34:44.880 --> 00:34:47.599
You know, you you you decide type type dudes.
00:34:47.840 --> 00:34:49.840
Um I will say this.
00:34:50.239 --> 00:34:55.039
We're called to lead, but to your point, who are you following?
00:34:56.639 --> 00:35:07.599
Before you jump up trying to lead a woman, children in your company, um, in the marketplace, who have you submitted to?
00:35:07.760 --> 00:35:09.840
Whose vision have you helped built?
00:35:10.239 --> 00:35:13.519
Um, who have you served?
00:35:14.159 --> 00:35:19.360
Um, and I think that servanthood is the vehicle to leadership.
00:35:19.440 --> 00:35:19.519
Yeah.
00:35:19.679 --> 00:35:20.079
Oh, yeah.
00:35:20.159 --> 00:35:20.719
Yeah, I definitely.
00:35:21.280 --> 00:35:24.559
Can I peel something out just a little bit with the with the beta male?
00:35:24.639 --> 00:35:24.800
Yeah.
00:35:24.960 --> 00:35:27.119
I would say this, because I think, you know, we got a lot of.
00:35:27.519 --> 00:35:29.039
If not a diss towards beta guys.
00:35:29.119 --> 00:35:30.480
Well, you know what I'm saying?
00:35:30.559 --> 00:35:31.199
I don't know what beta means.
00:35:32.079 --> 00:35:33.840
That's why I said, oh, he's going, he's going a little political.
00:35:33.920 --> 00:35:36.719
It's not really culturally political, if you will.
00:35:36.880 --> 00:35:37.280
Right, right, right.
00:35:37.440 --> 00:35:42.480
That sounds that sound to me, I'm I'm not gonna that sounds like that sounds like um alpha man.
00:35:42.639 --> 00:35:42.960
Yeah, yeah.
00:35:43.199 --> 00:35:44.000
Beta is under that.
00:35:44.960 --> 00:35:45.760
Y'all made that up.
00:35:45.920 --> 00:35:46.559
Yeah.
00:35:47.119 --> 00:35:48.400
So I'm just gonna speak to it.
00:35:49.280 --> 00:35:50.320
Lions are alphas.
00:35:50.559 --> 00:35:52.239
Hey, we're not lions, yeah.
00:35:53.360 --> 00:35:56.480
And if you want to be like a lion, the women run the jungle.
00:35:56.639 --> 00:35:56.880
They do.
00:35:57.039 --> 00:35:58.239
They the ones he hunting.
00:35:58.559 --> 00:36:02.079
Like they may protect from you don't want to be no alpha lion.
00:36:02.159 --> 00:36:02.320
Yeah.
00:36:02.559 --> 00:36:03.840
God didn't make us alpha males.
00:36:03.920 --> 00:36:04.320
You made that up.
00:36:04.719 --> 00:36:06.239
The two aggressive and let me say this.
00:36:06.480 --> 00:36:08.400
I've never in my life, I'm talking about me.
00:36:08.480 --> 00:36:13.920
Yeah, I've never in my life met one alpha male that was not a little boy inside.
00:36:14.159 --> 00:36:15.679
Uh then there's that.
00:36:15.920 --> 00:36:31.199
I was just gonna say, like, to that, because I think there's so much toxicity online around the topic that, like, that doesn't, you know, as a man, you also have to be secure enough to step back to know if your woman wife has the skill set that you don't.
00:36:31.280 --> 00:36:31.440
Yeah.
00:36:31.599 --> 00:36:36.079
So, like, when the wife and I, when we first got married, we uh we ran a cleaning company, which was crazy.
00:36:36.159 --> 00:36:38.559
It was not even something, I don't even know how we got in that business.
00:36:38.639 --> 00:36:43.360
But we scaled it, we had about 18 people under us, we had a huge contract in Houston, and it was running well.
00:36:43.519 --> 00:36:50.159
Well, what we found, what I learned about myself is even though I'm a therapist, yeah, I'm really not good with people in the day-to-day.
00:36:50.239 --> 00:36:51.840
Okay not every single day.
00:36:52.079 --> 00:36:57.920
Now, as a therapist, I don't see my clients every single once a week, yeah, depending on how intense, maybe even twice a week.
00:36:58.000 --> 00:37:00.239
But we're talking about everyday constant communication.
00:37:00.320 --> 00:37:03.199
Really, we're talking about HR, we're talking about the culture of people.
00:37:03.440 --> 00:37:10.239
She is graced so much more for people to be people, because in my mind, I'm like, it's a cleaning company.
00:37:10.400 --> 00:37:12.320
Go in there and clean that toilet and come on up out of there.
00:37:12.400 --> 00:37:13.920
Like, we're not building rockets for NASA.
00:37:14.159 --> 00:37:14.320
Right.
00:37:14.559 --> 00:37:21.360
But what we learned about a year into that business was that I'm not skilled at that the way she is, but I am skilled with them numbers.
00:37:21.440 --> 00:37:21.599
Okay.
00:37:21.760 --> 00:37:24.000
So then I become scheduling and payroll.
00:37:24.079 --> 00:37:24.320
Okay.
00:37:24.559 --> 00:37:25.599
And I thrive there.
00:37:25.679 --> 00:37:25.920
Yeah.
00:37:26.079 --> 00:37:29.760
She becomes people in culture, yeah, which encompass training.
00:37:29.840 --> 00:37:32.400
And you've met the wife, very humble, graceful spirit.
00:37:32.480 --> 00:37:32.639
Yes.
00:37:32.800 --> 00:37:33.039
Right?
00:37:33.119 --> 00:37:34.639
So great people person.
00:37:34.800 --> 00:37:36.719
Yeah, she's an excellent people person.
00:37:36.800 --> 00:37:36.960
Yeah.
00:37:37.119 --> 00:37:40.000
I and she can she can do it in a way that I cannot.
00:37:40.079 --> 00:37:40.239
Yeah.
00:37:40.320 --> 00:37:46.719
I think people see me and see the personality and see like the charisma, if you will, but like at a certain point, this is gonna cut off.
00:37:46.800 --> 00:37:46.960
Yeah.
00:37:47.119 --> 00:37:50.239
And if we here too long, you're liable to get another side of me.
00:37:50.320 --> 00:37:50.719
Yeah, yeah.
00:37:50.960 --> 00:37:53.199
She can endure in a way that I cannot.
00:37:53.280 --> 00:37:53.440
Yeah.
00:37:53.599 --> 00:37:58.480
And so, even in that, that, that we had to have those conversations of like, hey, babe, you're strong at this.
00:37:58.800 --> 00:37:59.760
You do that part.
00:37:59.840 --> 00:38:00.159
Yeah.
00:38:00.400 --> 00:38:02.880
I'ma do this part, and it worked well.
00:38:03.039 --> 00:38:07.360
And so I just wanted to peel out like the the idea of like, well, baby, whatever you want.
00:38:07.519 --> 00:38:09.440
Well, yeah, some men are like that, right?
00:38:09.519 --> 00:38:14.719
They just have no uh uh assumption, leadership, if you will, right?
00:38:14.800 --> 00:38:20.719
But then there are others where you may, it may blur the lines because you may believe that you are supposed to know how to do all the things.
00:38:20.880 --> 00:38:23.280
Well, that's I just don't have all the skill sets.
00:38:23.360 --> 00:38:24.960
Yeah, I have a particular skill set.
00:38:25.199 --> 00:38:26.559
She has a particular skill set.
00:38:26.639 --> 00:38:32.800
And if we honor them both and allow whoever is stronger to take the lead on that, then we find ourselves doing well.
00:38:32.960 --> 00:38:33.599
Yeah, no.
00:38:33.840 --> 00:38:45.920
I fully believe that great leadership understands its limits and is comfortable empowering others to lead in their greatest strengths.
00:38:46.159 --> 00:38:47.119
I think that's great leadership.
00:38:47.280 --> 00:38:47.519
Absolutely.
00:38:47.679 --> 00:38:59.440
And I think men who don't have leadership innately can acquire, grow, develop, cultivate, and curate leadership skills.
00:38:59.679 --> 00:39:00.480
Yeah, 100%.
00:39:00.960 --> 00:39:02.000
Yeah, I agree with that.
00:39:02.239 --> 00:39:03.840
What's the greatest takeaway from today?
00:39:03.920 --> 00:39:10.719
I mean, this was our inaugural show, our inaugural episode, The Stable Man is in full and total effect.
00:39:10.800 --> 00:39:11.519
We are here.
00:39:12.000 --> 00:39:15.679
If you had one thing you want our audience to take away, what would that be, Cliff?
00:39:16.079 --> 00:39:27.920
Um one thing I want them to take away uh is these are three three three men committed to uh giving you solid information to help you do love and life better.
00:39:28.079 --> 00:39:28.320
Period.
00:39:28.400 --> 00:39:29.360
Even though that's my slogan.
00:39:29.440 --> 00:39:30.079
Yeah, okay.
00:39:30.159 --> 00:39:33.519
But but that's what we're here to do, to help you do love and life better.
00:39:33.760 --> 00:39:35.599
And um, that's y'all's takeaway.
00:39:35.760 --> 00:39:36.559
What I want y'all to have.
00:39:36.719 --> 00:39:37.760
Let me tell you what my takeaway is.
00:39:38.159 --> 00:39:38.639
What's your takeaway?
00:39:38.800 --> 00:39:39.519
Just the fellowship.
00:39:39.599 --> 00:39:43.039
I I enjoy just talking and you know, just just chopping it up.
00:39:43.119 --> 00:39:45.440
And I'm looking forward to uh what is it gonna be?
00:39:45.519 --> 00:39:45.679
Yeah.
00:39:45.760 --> 00:39:46.400
That's my takeaway.
00:39:46.719 --> 00:39:47.440
Yeah, same.
00:39:47.519 --> 00:39:49.920
I would say uh I won't I'm gonna do it just like you did it.
00:39:50.079 --> 00:39:51.360
One for them, one for me.
00:39:51.599 --> 00:39:55.440
Uh for them, I would say to know that we are not perfect.
00:39:55.519 --> 00:39:55.760
Yeah.
00:39:55.920 --> 00:40:00.239
And so we don't come at this on a mountain looking down.
00:40:00.400 --> 00:40:00.639
Yeah.
00:40:00.960 --> 00:40:15.920
We come at this with the heart to serve you, with the heart for that you would understand and you would hear and be able to do something different in your life and to take not only our personal experiences, but some stuff I just believe you don't have to always personally experience to learn.
00:40:16.079 --> 00:40:16.400
Come on.
00:40:16.559 --> 00:40:22.480
But our knowledge and our wisdom and giving it to you so that you can apply it in the way that best fits your life.
00:40:22.639 --> 00:40:22.960
Yeah.
00:40:23.199 --> 00:40:24.159
That's for you.
00:40:24.400 --> 00:40:26.639
For me, it is I'm gonna say the same thing.
00:40:26.719 --> 00:40:28.880
Like just chopping it up, you know, so often in my business.
00:40:28.960 --> 00:40:30.400
Like I told y'all I'm skilling, right?
00:40:30.480 --> 00:40:34.880
So that's even bringing in, oh, maybe I need to hire my wife because now I got guys on the team.
00:40:35.199 --> 00:40:36.079
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:40:36.480 --> 00:40:37.519
I just thought about that.
00:40:37.679 --> 00:40:38.800
I got more people on the team.
00:40:38.880 --> 00:40:40.159
Okay, anyway, but no, no, no.
00:40:40.239 --> 00:40:47.519
Uh, but like just in my social streets, if you will, a lot of the stuff that I do, a lot of the content, a majority of it is just me.
00:40:47.599 --> 00:40:49.360
Yeah, it is literally just me.
00:40:49.440 --> 00:40:56.480
And so this has been refreshing not having to be the talent, if you will, even though we are the talent for the show.
00:40:56.559 --> 00:40:56.800
Yeah.
00:40:56.960 --> 00:41:07.519
Uh, but to be able to bounce off of you know the intellect and the wisdom and the just life experience that y'all have, like that's been extremely fulfilling to me in this short time we've had.
00:41:07.920 --> 00:41:08.320
Facts.
00:41:08.400 --> 00:41:08.639
Yeah.
00:41:08.880 --> 00:41:09.440
Facts.
00:41:09.679 --> 00:41:20.480
Um, I would say, I like your point about you don't have to experience um trauma, injury, mistakes, failure to know not to do certain things.
00:41:20.639 --> 00:41:20.960
Correct.
00:41:21.119 --> 00:41:23.039
You don't have to smoke crack to know don't smoke crack.
00:41:23.199 --> 00:41:25.599
I was literally about to say, I ain't never had crack a day in my life.
00:41:26.719 --> 00:41:27.119
Right, right.
00:41:32.719 --> 00:41:36.559
We done been through seeing crack with them in the heights, in River Oak.
00:41:36.719 --> 00:41:37.599
Yes, they do crack too.
00:41:37.840 --> 00:41:38.239
As well.
00:41:38.400 --> 00:41:38.719
Yeah.
00:41:39.599 --> 00:41:40.800
So I love that.
00:41:40.880 --> 00:41:52.639
And I can tell you confidently and just knowing you guys, we've all made enough mistakes along the way to share with our audience that you don't have to make the mistakes we made.
00:41:52.719 --> 00:42:01.119
We've also had enough successes uh and enough wins to share that we can pursue this journey to stable manhood together.
00:42:01.280 --> 00:42:01.519
Yeah.
00:42:01.679 --> 00:42:01.840
Yeah.
00:42:02.000 --> 00:42:05.519
For me, um, I'm looking forward to the margaritas after the after recording.
00:42:05.760 --> 00:42:06.239
Hey.
00:42:07.440 --> 00:42:11.119
I love fellowship with you guys and and um just the brotherhood.
00:42:11.199 --> 00:42:14.559
Yeah, Cliff made the point that a lot of men don't have friends.
00:42:14.800 --> 00:42:17.039
So welcome to our community.
00:42:17.199 --> 00:42:20.880
Welcome to brotherhood, welcome to friendship, welcome to the stable man podcast.
00:42:21.360 --> 00:42:29.840
And don't forget to like, share, and subscribe and definitely turn on that notification bell so you are aware every time we post so that you are with us here at the Stable Man Podcast.
00:42:30.159 --> 00:42:31.760
In other words, come back.
00:42:31.920 --> 00:42:32.559
Yeah.