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I personally think that introverts are the best
speakers and the reason I think that is because
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I feel that introverts are phenomenal
observers, and they're really good at
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understanding people's body language.
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00:00:16,355 --> 00:00:21,480
So when they finally, like, move through their
fear, not get rid of their fear, but move their
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00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,960
fear and stand on that stage.
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They can understand when they're resonating
with an audience.
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Or when they need to pivot, they can see the
body language.
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Oh, they're getting it.
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Good.
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I'll keep going in this way.
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And so it's just a matter of them having some
training and getting that step by step skill
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set to move through the anxiety that they might
have to get onto that stage, but most of them
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00:00:43,289 --> 00:00:48,045
when I work with them, they go, It's after that
first 5 minutes and I'm in my groove.
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I'm fine.
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3, 2, 4, 0, ignition.
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Leftos.
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Ending small business failure.
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Welcome to the Small Biz Chat podcast with a
number 1 small business expert Melinda Emerson.
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Melinda's goal is to end small business
failure, and she'll give you the information
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you need to succeed and live the life you dream
of.
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Now here's the small Biz lady herself.
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Melinda Emerson.
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Hi, everybody.
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I'm Melinda Emerson.
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Small biz lady.
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America's number one small business expert, and
I am so excited to welcome you to National
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Small Business Week Edition of the Small
Business Chat Live.
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Listen, we have an incredible show here for you
today.
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Here on the small fish chat live, we are all
about peer to peer mentoring.
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The mission of small fish chat is to end small
business failure.
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And today's show is about how design your life
and then design your business.
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We're all about giving you advice from multiple
angles so that you can think about maybe a
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jewel or gem here that's gonna help you take
your business to the next level.
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So with that, let me introduce my guest.
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Misty Mahia.
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Misty is a business strategist and speaker
coach and she has over 20 years of experience
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in market strategy, product management, public
speaking, corporate branding, and channel
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marketing.
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Missy is the founder of Missy Makiya LLC, where
she works as a creative director for executive
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speakers from ideation of high stakes
presentations to delivery, helping to inspire
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audiences from the boardroom to the keynote
stage.
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In addition, Misty is a performer director and
choreographer in professional theater with more
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than 100 productions in her background for more
information mistymaha.com.
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Misty, thank you so much for joining me on the
small wrist chat live.
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Oh, thank you for having me.
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I love it.
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So, Misty, walk us through your background.
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Like, how did you get to, you know, you got a
very, very background from theater to a
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counting to helping people with their speaking
skills.
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So how did you end up doing all of that?
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It is all over the place.
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Right?
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I think for me, you know, it started when I was
super young and I epically failed at public
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speaking, and that became my story for a really
long time.
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And my parents pushed me into dance so I could
just be a comfortable in front of people and
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then they push me into theater like they forced
me to take a theater class and all of a sudden
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that shy woman found her voice and a way to be
in front of an audience with ease and it was
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the step by step checklist where I think a lot
of us, when we first speak, it's usually in
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grade school, right, and we're shoved in front
of and goes go speak about this topic, but
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you're not given the tools to know how and you
fail and that becomes your story.
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And so me, that was my story for many, many
years until I found theater and then I got a
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theater degree and an acting degree and went
into technology.
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I'm in the Silicon Valley, and that's what you
do as you go into tech.
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And because of that degree, though, I became a
global spokesperson for the very first company
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I was at.
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And I was able to memorize the topics and
memorize the technology and be able to
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articulate it on stage.
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And so they gave me the mic.
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And from there, I just kept going from company
to company to company.
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But because I still had an acting degree and a
directing degree, I had to have feeder still in
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my life.
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So I was doing the professional feeder on the
side.
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Wow.
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Wow.
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So If you wanna become a professional speaker
or even just speak more to promote your
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business, let's not say not let's not say you
necessarily wanna be this, you know, high paid
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keynote speaker.
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Let's just say you wanna use speaking to
promote your business.
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What should you do first?
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For most people, I know that public speaking is
an absolute fear.
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Like, it's just paralyzing, but if you start
with your small business in environments where
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you do feel comfortable and setting yourself up
for success, that could be, I know for me, when
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I left corporate for a little bit and started
my own company, years ago, I made friends with
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the local newspapers and the publishers there.
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And we just had coffee and chat, and then they
started quoting me in the news and that helped
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my business, but being comfortable in just
having a one on one conversation and getting to
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know people was my happy spot.
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And then going to the city and joining the
Small Business Association and becoming a
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member there and then becoming the vice
president of that association That also gave me
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a way to speak to other business owners and
figure out how together we could drive success.
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So speaking into small areas first of where you
go.
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Okay.
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I'm comfortable in a 1 on 1 or uncomfortable
maybe 1 to 3.
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You're not going on to that keynote stage of
thousands like you are.
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Might be the first step to go.
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Alright.
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I can drive success for my business.
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By making these simple connections.
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Now if you do wanna, let's say, become a
professional speaker, How important is it to
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develop a niche for your content?
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I have produced some of the largest events and
accounting.
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And so we would have Oprah and all of these
celebrities, Malcolm Gladwell come and speak at
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our conference.
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And when we did the breakout sessions, we would
always have discussions of like, hey, we need
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an expert in x, y, and z.
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Who do you know?
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So having a niche is really important because
you become known as that speaker and that x
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vert in that area, and your name will pop up as
the person to go to for small business advice.
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For e commerce advice.
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Whatever it is, if you put that stamp on it,
you will continue to be able to go deep and be
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the person that people reach out to.
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I love it.
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So let's say you wanna be the speaker But
you're an introvert.
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Like, you're, like, really, I'm not that girl.
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Like, I'm not I'm not gregarious and out here.
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Shaking hands.
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You know, I'm not the life of the party
anywhere I go.
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So how do you how do you bring that out of
yourself if you're if you really are an
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introvert?
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Yeah.
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I love that question, Melinda.
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I personally think that introverts are the best
speakers.
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And the reason I think that is because I feel
that introverts are phenomenal observers and
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they're really good at understanding people's
body language.
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So when they finally, like, move through their
fear, not get rid of their fear, but move their
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fear, and stand on that stage.
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They can understand when they're resonating
with an audience or when they need to pivot.
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They can see the body language.
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Oh, they're getting it.
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Good.
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Keep going in this way.
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And so it's just a matter of them having some
training and getting that step by step skill
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set to move through the anxiety that they might
have to get on to that stage, but most of them
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when I work with them, they go, it's after that
first 5 minutes and I'm in my groove, I'm fine.
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But it's usually just that first five minutes
of, like, panic.
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So then we work on just really building a pre
presentation ritual to get them come for
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moment.
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1.
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So how do you get yourself sort of like your
first speaking gigs?
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Like, how do you how do you put yourself out
there and And why do you know what they even
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charge people when you're just getting started
speaking?
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Yeah.
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For when you're first getting started, a lot of
people want to go for that, like, oh, I'm gonna
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go for a keynote.
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It's like, that might not be the first place to
start.
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Luckily, all of these wonderful platforms, all
of the social media platforms have video
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components to it.
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And so creating your own space first is, I
think, really important, starting a podcast,
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going on to LinkedIn and doing a LinkedIn live
Whatever it is is creating your own moments
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first so you can become that go to speaker for
whatever topic you've decided to go to.
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And then events start seeing you out there,
start seeing your voice, start seeing your
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style, what you're speaking about, and they
become aware of who you are because I know for
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me, when I hire speakers, I go and vet the work
that they've already put out there so I can see
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what kind of speaker they are, what kind of
energy they have, they're gonna be bringing to
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my audience, whether they're the right fit for
who I have to serve.
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So it's just a matter.
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1st, create your own space.
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Because that's gonna be the easiest thing to
do.
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And then you start applying for different
events out there because everybody has an
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application to go apply and become a speaker
and make sure that you know their audience so
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you can kind of tailor your application to what
their audience is.
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So when is the right time to develop your demo
reel?
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I mean, do you wait until you have that big
keynote speech or can you do it in a in a
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smaller venue just so you can, you know, be
able to demonstrate something like of you on
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stage doing your best?
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You're so right.
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Like, do it whenever you want.
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You don't have to have a keynote to do it.
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I literally have had people that have filmed
and their friends in an audience and film them
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doing a talk at a community event.
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And they said that to me as they're real.
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Would I recommend that?
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No.
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You wanna have something a little bit more
polished, but typically a speaker and somebody
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that hires them a producer can tell within a
few seconds whether you have what it takes to
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be on there.
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And to me, what I look look for is articulate.
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Are they poised?
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Can I tell if they're nervous?
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Like, if they're weight shifting and they're
moving back and forth on their bottom half,
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then I'm like, oh, they're really nervous in
this situation.
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So I will tell them a first few seconds whether
they're just comfortable speaking and they know
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their stuff.
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And then it's like, alright.
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I'm good.
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I vetted them.
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Now I just wanna have a conversation with them
and hear a little about their topic.
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But if you do that speaker reel of your
webinars and maybe a piece of your podcast and
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all of these other things and some quotes from
people who have attended your events that have
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raved about what you said or a moment that you
mentioned that just made them go, ah, and have
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that light bulb moment.
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And that's everything that goes in your
speaker, Will.
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You do not need to have a keynote in order to
create it.
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I'm so glad you said that because I think
people put a lot of pressure on themselves,
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like, to you know, have this big, you know,
there must be 3000 people in the audience kinda
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thing.
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And I'm like, I I was like, for years, I didn't
even have a real, like, I just did all the
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other social media stuff I did, and people just
called me and asked me to speak.
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So it works out.
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So before you get out there?
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How can you get some practice?
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Like, what are some of the best ways to get
practice before you pitch yourself for, like, a
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really high profile opportunity?
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When you are practicing for that moment, I was
just speaking with one of my clients yesterday
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and she actually created her own event and she
is not keynoting her own event, but her goal is
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to be a keynote.
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Yeah.
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That that was my phase 2, Melinda.
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What?
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The whole reason to do your own event is
because it's your stage.
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Like, what do
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you do?
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Yeah.
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It's Exactly.
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Exactly.
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So, we had a a come to Jesus moment between the
two of us.
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And they said, hey, you are hiring all these
phenomenal speaker and this phenomenal content,
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why are you not keynoting if that's your goal
to keynote?
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And she goes, I'm not ready yet.
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And I was like, Well, let's get you there.
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You're like, girl, what are you doing?
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Yeah.
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No.
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That's that's crazy.
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So Wait a moment.
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Right.
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I mean, do you suggest people get on podcasts
and stuff?
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Like, just to get used to their voice, like,
getting good at just answering questions, like,
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getting good at explaining their story and
sound by format.
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I mean, is is that what you suggest for the
people that you work with?
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100%.
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I think anytime that you have an opportunity
speak, you're building your muscle that will
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help you move through anxiety if anxiety is
your the thing that's muting you, but
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consistency in speaking and opportunities for
podcasts, doing your own webinars, even client
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conversations, like difficult conversations
with your clients is a speaking opportunity and
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a moment to really have impact and inform a
client of how you would like the connection to
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be between the two of you.
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And so I think the more you can just practice
the things that kinda cause anxiety, practice
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your pitch.
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If you have a group of people that you just
know love and trust, ask them for their honest
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feedback.
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00:14:44,470 --> 00:14:46,789
Say, hey, can I show you my pitch?
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00:14:46,789 --> 00:14:47,830
Can I just tell it to you?
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Can you give me feedback?
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The reason I say no love and trust is because I
have definitely had somebody that did their
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00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:59,215
pitch for somebody, and they're like, why would
anyone wanna listen to you?
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And it derailed them.
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And I said, well, are they your ideal audience?
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Is it?
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They're like, no.
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It was just a friend of mine.
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I was like,
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Yeah.
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Wrong friend.
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Go.
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00:15:11,235 --> 00:15:11,955
Wrong friend.
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Right?
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00:15:12,115 --> 00:15:16,355
And so find somebody that you really respect
that you know will give you feedback with
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kindness and love.
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And tell you your opportunities for
improvement, but also let you know what you're
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doing right so you can keep doing those things.
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Is Toastmasters valuable?
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Yeah.
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You know, there's a lot of different
organizations out there that do public
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speaking.
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What I have found in my research before I
launched my company is that people didn't even
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wanna go to toastmasters because they
immediately make you speak and they were so
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afraid of even that part of it that it was
like, oh, it caused anxiety.
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And sometimes some of the organizations, what
they do is they have do a bunch of different
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types of speaking, but they don't give you the
foundation to set you up for success.
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00:16:00,764 --> 00:16:06,764
And so you don't want to go to an organization
that just forces you to speak but doesn't give
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you the fundamentals of how to succeed because
then you're just establishing really bad
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habits.
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00:16:13,011 --> 00:16:20,514
And if you continue to fail, that will begin to
become your story, and we want to set you up
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00:16:20,514 --> 00:16:23,075
for that success to go, oh, I did that.
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I knocked that out of the park.
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00:16:24,195 --> 00:16:26,615
Oh, I did that, and I knocked it out of the
park again.
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00:16:26,679 --> 00:16:31,080
And that way that becomes your story and your
recording in your mind of I can do this.
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00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:31,980
I got it.
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Love it.
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Love it.
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Alright.
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When we come back on the small base chat live,
We're gonna talk more with Missy Mahia about
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00:16:38,514 --> 00:16:40,295
getting started in with speaking.
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00:16:40,835 --> 00:16:41,154
Hi.
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00:16:41,154 --> 00:16:45,735
I'm Melinda Emerson's small biz lady, and I
wanna welcome you to small biz lady university.
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00:16:46,230 --> 00:16:49,610
Our mission here is to end small business
failure.
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00:16:49,909 --> 00:16:53,049
So all of the courses here are about 2 things.
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00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:57,225
How to become your own boss or how to make
money online.
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00:16:57,444 --> 00:16:59,125
So that's what we do here.
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00:16:59,125 --> 00:17:04,490
So whether you wanna learn about email
marketing and sales funnels, or you're ready to
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00:17:04,730 --> 00:17:08,890
Get started with social media selling, or if
you're really just getting started with e
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00:17:08,890 --> 00:17:12,670
Commerce, you might wanna jump into our how to
sell and market online course.
294
00:17:12,890 --> 00:17:19,375
Either way, if you want to learn how to become
your own boss and do it well, I have everything
295
00:17:19,375 --> 00:17:20,890
you need here atsmallvislatinguniversity.com.
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00:17:22,869 --> 00:17:27,910
If you have any questions or have any technical
problems getting signed up, just email us at
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00:17:27,910 --> 00:17:29,024
support atmelindamerson.com.
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00:17:31,325 --> 00:17:32,065
Take care.
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00:17:33,484 --> 00:17:34,204
Alright, Missy.
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00:17:34,204 --> 00:17:38,065
I wanna go back and talk to you about how do
you work through the anxiety?
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00:17:38,670 --> 00:17:42,830
If you're too freaked out to go to
Toastmasters, what are you gonna do if you
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00:17:42,830 --> 00:17:44,610
really wanna get trained in speaking?
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00:17:45,309 --> 00:17:49,105
Anxiety is the of public speaking as the number
one fear.
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00:17:49,105 --> 00:17:50,644
It's actually in our DNA.
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00:17:52,224 --> 00:17:59,279
So if you get a 23 and me DNA test, it'll tell
you, like, if you're prone to fear of public
306
00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:02,099
speaking or not, I'm 5050, which I thought was
interesting.
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00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:03,940
My husband, no fear whatsoever.
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00:18:04,825 --> 00:18:11,725
But because it's in our DNA, it really is all
about coming up with a formula to overcome
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00:18:11,785 --> 00:18:13,244
anxiety in the moment.
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00:18:13,700 --> 00:18:21,460
And for me, there's three things that you have
to do, and it's NPR, and the m is a mantra, and
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00:18:21,460 --> 00:18:26,335
whether that is prayer or something that you
say over and over, or it's a meditation moment,
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00:18:26,394 --> 00:18:29,054
you have to mentally shift your mind.
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00:18:30,019 --> 00:18:34,200
And then the next thing is p for physical
activity.
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00:18:34,659 --> 00:18:38,599
A lot of times our nerves in our body have no
way of getting out.
315
00:18:39,455 --> 00:18:43,535
So they are just stirring, stirring, stirring,
and that's when that weight shifting comes and
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00:18:43,535 --> 00:18:47,430
our body starts shaking, our hands start
shaking our voice start shaking is because we
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00:18:47,430 --> 00:18:50,090
have this excess energy inside our body.
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00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:55,110
And so you have to do some sort of physical
activity, even if it's jumping jacks real
319
00:18:55,110 --> 00:19:00,984
quick, to give that physical energy a way to
move out of your body instead of just keeping
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00:19:00,984 --> 00:19:01,644
in cycle.
321
00:19:01,785 --> 00:19:08,849
And then the last one is r which is ritual and
that's just doing the same thing every single
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00:19:08,849 --> 00:19:10,470
time before you speak.
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00:19:10,769 --> 00:19:16,615
So your body doesn't go into the fight, flight,
or freeze mode It goes into this is normal.
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00:19:17,235 --> 00:19:20,375
I got this and just puts you in a path for
success.
325
00:19:21,315 --> 00:19:21,955
I love that.
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00:19:21,955 --> 00:19:22,434
I love that.
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00:19:22,434 --> 00:19:26,680
Now do you program that you have that work with
people beginners that are like, you know, kind
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00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:28,779
of just wanna get started with speaking?
329
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:29,660
100%.
330
00:19:30,039 --> 00:19:30,359
Yeah.
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00:19:30,359 --> 00:19:31,400
I have 2 programs.
332
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:35,984
I have one for speakers that I thought I was
developing for beginning speakers.
333
00:19:37,085 --> 00:19:41,180
And then all these people that do keynotes came
in, so that's what it resonated with.
334
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:46,140
And so we went back to the drawing board
because I really wanted to also serve those
335
00:19:46,140 --> 00:19:49,759
people that suffer from massive anxiety in this
area.
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00:19:50,184 --> 00:19:55,625
And when we found out that they didn't even
wanna go to toastmasters or any type of public
337
00:19:55,625 --> 00:20:03,339
speaking because their fear is so great, we
developed a program that's all on demand for
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00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:09,315
people that want to start out and just move
through the anxiety, learn the really basic
339
00:20:09,454 --> 00:20:11,315
fundamentals of public speaking.
340
00:20:11,615 --> 00:20:15,539
So then they can take that next step and
actually putting it into action.
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00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:16,559
I love it.
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00:20:16,559 --> 00:20:17,119
I love it.
343
00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:21,619
And then what is your the best business advice
you've ever been given?
344
00:20:23,065 --> 00:20:27,325
If if you're not disrupting yourself, someone
else is going to.
345
00:20:28,424 --> 00:20:29,089
I love it.
346
00:20:29,089 --> 00:20:31,990
Thank you so much, Misty, for being here with
us.
347
00:20:32,369 --> 00:20:35,650
I'm Melinda Emerson, the small biz lady, and I
will leave you with this.
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00:20:35,650 --> 00:20:37,349
You never lose in business.
349
00:20:37,730 --> 00:20:39,664
Either you win or you learn.
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00:20:39,725 --> 00:20:40,205
Alright.
351
00:20:40,205 --> 00:20:41,585
Have a great day, everybody.
352
00:20:43,644 --> 00:20:48,065
Thank you for listening to the small biz chat
podcast with Melinda Emerson.
353
00:20:48,819 --> 00:20:54,359
For more resources and small business success
strategies, visit succeed as your own boss.com.
354
00:20:55,220 --> 00:20:59,625
Subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen
to podcasts and join us next Wednesday.
00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:08,099
I personally think that introverts are the best
speakers and the reason I think that is because
2
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:14,035
I feel that introverts are phenomenal
observers, and they're really good at
3
00:00:14,035 --> 00:00:16,054
understanding people's body language.
4
00:00:16,355 --> 00:00:21,480
So when they finally, like, move through their
fear, not get rid of their fear, but move their
5
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,960
fear and stand on that stage.
6
00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:26,619
They can understand when they're resonating
with an audience.
7
00:00:26,945 --> 00:00:30,085
Or when they need to pivot, they can see the
body language.
8
00:00:30,304 --> 00:00:31,344
Oh, they're getting it.
9
00:00:31,344 --> 00:00:31,585
Good.
10
00:00:31,585 --> 00:00:33,204
I'll keep going in this way.
11
00:00:33,265 --> 00:00:38,409
And so it's just a matter of them having some
training and getting that step by step skill
12
00:00:38,409 --> 00:00:43,289
set to move through the anxiety that they might
have to get onto that stage, but most of them
13
00:00:43,289 --> 00:00:48,045
when I work with them, they go, It's after that
first 5 minutes and I'm in my groove.
14
00:00:48,045 --> 00:00:48,865
I'm fine.
15
00:00:49,965 --> 00:00:54,225
3, 2, 4, 0, ignition.
16
00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:56,260
Leftos.
17
00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:59,460
Ending small business failure.
18
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:06,045
Welcome to the Small Biz Chat podcast with a
number 1 small business expert Melinda Emerson.
19
00:01:06,504 --> 00:01:10,685
Melinda's goal is to end small business
failure, and she'll give you the information
20
00:01:10,744 --> 00:01:13,670
you need to succeed and live the life you dream
of.
21
00:01:14,310 --> 00:01:17,129
Now here's the small Biz lady herself.
22
00:01:17,989 --> 00:01:19,129
Melinda Emerson.
23
00:01:20,549 --> 00:01:21,369
Hi, everybody.
24
00:01:21,430 --> 00:01:22,515
I'm Melinda Emerson.
25
00:01:22,515 --> 00:01:23,474
Small biz lady.
26
00:01:23,474 --> 00:01:30,750
America's number one small business expert, and
I am so excited to welcome you to National
27
00:01:30,810 --> 00:01:35,229
Small Business Week Edition of the Small
Business Chat Live.
28
00:01:35,450 --> 00:01:39,310
Listen, we have an incredible show here for you
today.
29
00:01:39,415 --> 00:01:44,635
Here on the small fish chat live, we are all
about peer to peer mentoring.
30
00:01:44,935 --> 00:01:49,010
The mission of small fish chat is to end small
business failure.
31
00:01:49,069 --> 00:01:53,490
And today's show is about how design your life
and then design your business.
32
00:01:53,950 --> 00:02:01,125
We're all about giving you advice from multiple
angles so that you can think about maybe a
33
00:02:01,125 --> 00:02:05,944
jewel or gem here that's gonna help you take
your business to the next level.
34
00:02:06,150 --> 00:02:08,889
So with that, let me introduce my guest.
35
00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:10,729
Misty Mahia.
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00:02:10,870 --> 00:02:16,165
Misty is a business strategist and speaker
coach and she has over 20 years of experience
37
00:02:16,165 --> 00:02:21,444
in market strategy, product management, public
speaking, corporate branding, and channel
38
00:02:21,444 --> 00:02:21,944
marketing.
39
00:02:22,110 --> 00:02:28,530
Missy is the founder of Missy Makiya LLC, where
she works as a creative director for executive
40
00:02:28,669 --> 00:02:33,884
speakers from ideation of high stakes
presentations to delivery, helping to inspire
41
00:02:33,884 --> 00:02:36,864
audiences from the boardroom to the keynote
stage.
42
00:02:37,004 --> 00:02:43,219
In addition, Misty is a performer director and
choreographer in professional theater with more
43
00:02:43,219 --> 00:02:48,094
than 100 productions in her background for more
information mistymaha.com.
44
00:02:49,914 --> 00:02:53,294
Misty, thank you so much for joining me on the
small wrist chat live.
45
00:02:53,594 --> 00:02:55,194
Oh, thank you for having me.
46
00:02:55,194 --> 00:02:56,174
I love it.
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00:02:57,169 --> 00:02:59,349
So, Misty, walk us through your background.
48
00:02:59,409 --> 00:03:05,444
Like, how did you get to, you know, you got a
very, very background from theater to a
49
00:03:05,605 --> 00:03:09,444
counting to helping people with their speaking
skills.
50
00:03:09,444 --> 00:03:12,105
So how did you end up doing all of that?
51
00:03:12,325 --> 00:03:13,525
It is all over the place.
52
00:03:13,525 --> 00:03:14,025
Right?
53
00:03:15,509 --> 00:03:24,724
I think for me, you know, it started when I was
super young and I epically failed at public
54
00:03:24,724 --> 00:03:28,584
speaking, and that became my story for a really
long time.
55
00:03:29,284 --> 00:03:34,709
And my parents pushed me into dance so I could
just be a comfortable in front of people and
56
00:03:34,709 --> 00:03:40,469
then they push me into theater like they forced
me to take a theater class and all of a sudden
57
00:03:40,469 --> 00:03:49,064
that shy woman found her voice and a way to be
in front of an audience with ease and it was
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00:03:49,064 --> 00:03:55,080
the step by step checklist where I think a lot
of us, when we first speak, it's usually in
59
00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:59,159
grade school, right, and we're shoved in front
of and goes go speak about this topic, but
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00:03:59,159 --> 00:04:04,614
you're not given the tools to know how and you
fail and that becomes your story.
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00:04:04,914 --> 00:04:10,420
And so me, that was my story for many, many
years until I found theater and then I got a
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00:04:10,420 --> 00:04:13,719
theater degree and an acting degree and went
into technology.
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00:04:19,254 --> 00:04:23,034
I'm in the Silicon Valley, and that's what you
do as you go into tech.
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00:04:23,334 --> 00:04:29,079
And because of that degree, though, I became a
global spokesperson for the very first company
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00:04:29,079 --> 00:04:29,899
I was at.
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00:04:30,199 --> 00:04:35,479
And I was able to memorize the topics and
memorize the technology and be able to
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00:04:35,479 --> 00:04:36,939
articulate it on stage.
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00:04:37,334 --> 00:04:39,254
And so they gave me the mic.
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00:04:39,254 --> 00:04:42,714
And from there, I just kept going from company
to company to company.
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00:04:43,014 --> 00:04:48,839
But because I still had an acting degree and a
directing degree, I had to have feeder still in
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00:04:48,839 --> 00:04:49,240
my life.
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00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:52,060
So I was doing the professional feeder on the
side.
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00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:53,240
Wow.
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00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:53,740
Wow.
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00:04:53,800 --> 00:05:01,185
So If you wanna become a professional speaker
or even just speak more to promote your
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00:05:01,185 --> 00:05:05,519
business, let's not say not let's not say you
necessarily wanna be this, you know, high paid
77
00:05:05,519 --> 00:05:06,240
keynote speaker.
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00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:09,539
Let's just say you wanna use speaking to
promote your business.
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00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,060
What should you do first?
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00:05:12,254 --> 00:05:16,355
For most people, I know that public speaking is
an absolute fear.
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00:05:16,495 --> 00:05:23,120
Like, it's just paralyzing, but if you start
with your small business in environments where
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00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:28,560
you do feel comfortable and setting yourself up
for success, that could be, I know for me, when
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00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:35,024
I left corporate for a little bit and started
my own company, years ago, I made friends with
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00:05:35,024 --> 00:05:38,305
the local newspapers and the publishers there.
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00:05:38,305 --> 00:05:43,389
And we just had coffee and chat, and then they
started quoting me in the news and that helped
86
00:05:43,389 --> 00:05:47,629
my business, but being comfortable in just
having a one on one conversation and getting to
87
00:05:47,629 --> 00:05:50,289
know people was my happy spot.
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00:05:50,654 --> 00:05:56,654
And then going to the city and joining the
Small Business Association and becoming a
89
00:05:56,654 --> 00:06:01,680
member there and then becoming the vice
president of that association That also gave me
90
00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:07,699
a way to speak to other business owners and
figure out how together we could drive success.
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00:06:08,079 --> 00:06:12,105
So speaking into small areas first of where you
go.
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00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:12,584
Okay.
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00:06:12,584 --> 00:06:16,524
I'm comfortable in a 1 on 1 or uncomfortable
maybe 1 to 3.
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00:06:16,649 --> 00:06:20,110
You're not going on to that keynote stage of
thousands like you are.
95
00:06:21,689 --> 00:06:23,470
Might be the first step to go.
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00:06:23,610 --> 00:06:24,009
Alright.
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00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:26,430
I can drive success for my business.
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00:06:26,875 --> 00:06:29,214
By making these simple connections.
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00:06:30,314 --> 00:06:36,330
Now if you do wanna, let's say, become a
professional speaker, How important is it to
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00:06:36,330 --> 00:06:38,830
develop a niche for your content?
101
00:06:40,089 --> 00:06:45,435
I have produced some of the largest events and
accounting.
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00:06:46,214 --> 00:06:52,214
And so we would have Oprah and all of these
celebrities, Malcolm Gladwell come and speak at
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00:06:52,214 --> 00:06:52,875
our conference.
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00:06:53,959 --> 00:07:00,519
And when we did the breakout sessions, we would
always have discussions of like, hey, we need
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an expert in x, y, and z.
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Who do you know?
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So having a niche is really important because
you become known as that speaker and that x
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vert in that area, and your name will pop up as
the person to go to for small business advice.
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For e commerce advice.
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Whatever it is, if you put that stamp on it,
you will continue to be able to go deep and be
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the person that people reach out to.
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I love it.
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So let's say you wanna be the speaker But
you're an introvert.
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Like, you're, like, really, I'm not that girl.
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Like, I'm not I'm not gregarious and out here.
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Shaking hands.
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You know, I'm not the life of the party
anywhere I go.
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So how do you how do you bring that out of
yourself if you're if you really are an
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introvert?
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Yeah.
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I love that question, Melinda.
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I personally think that introverts are the best
speakers.
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And the reason I think that is because I feel
that introverts are phenomenal observers and
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they're really good at understanding people's
body language.
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So when they finally, like, move through their
fear, not get rid of their fear, but move their
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fear, and stand on that stage.
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They can understand when they're resonating
with an audience or when they need to pivot.
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They can see the body language.
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Oh, they're getting it.
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Good.
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Keep going in this way.
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And so it's just a matter of them having some
training and getting that step by step skill
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set to move through the anxiety that they might
have to get on to that stage, but most of them
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when I work with them, they go, it's after that
first 5 minutes and I'm in my groove, I'm fine.
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But it's usually just that first five minutes
of, like, panic.
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So then we work on just really building a pre
presentation ritual to get them come for
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moment.
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1.
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So how do you get yourself sort of like your
first speaking gigs?
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Like, how do you how do you put yourself out
there and And why do you know what they even
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charge people when you're just getting started
speaking?
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Yeah.
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For when you're first getting started, a lot of
people want to go for that, like, oh, I'm gonna
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go for a keynote.
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It's like, that might not be the first place to
start.
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Luckily, all of these wonderful platforms, all
of the social media platforms have video
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components to it.
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And so creating your own space first is, I
think, really important, starting a podcast,
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going on to LinkedIn and doing a LinkedIn live
Whatever it is is creating your own moments
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first so you can become that go to speaker for
whatever topic you've decided to go to.
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And then events start seeing you out there,
start seeing your voice, start seeing your
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style, what you're speaking about, and they
become aware of who you are because I know for
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me, when I hire speakers, I go and vet the work
that they've already put out there so I can see
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what kind of speaker they are, what kind of
energy they have, they're gonna be bringing to
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my audience, whether they're the right fit for
who I have to serve.
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So it's just a matter.
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1st, create your own space.
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Because that's gonna be the easiest thing to
do.
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And then you start applying for different
events out there because everybody has an
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application to go apply and become a speaker
and make sure that you know their audience so
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you can kind of tailor your application to what
their audience is.
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So when is the right time to develop your demo
reel?
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I mean, do you wait until you have that big
keynote speech or can you do it in a in a
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smaller venue just so you can, you know, be
able to demonstrate something like of you on
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stage doing your best?
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You're so right.
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Like, do it whenever you want.
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You don't have to have a keynote to do it.
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I literally have had people that have filmed
and their friends in an audience and film them
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doing a talk at a community event.
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And they said that to me as they're real.
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Would I recommend that?
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No.
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You wanna have something a little bit more
polished, but typically a speaker and somebody
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that hires them a producer can tell within a
few seconds whether you have what it takes to
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be on there.
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And to me, what I look look for is articulate.
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Are they poised?
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Can I tell if they're nervous?
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Like, if they're weight shifting and they're
moving back and forth on their bottom half,
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then I'm like, oh, they're really nervous in
this situation.
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So I will tell them a first few seconds whether
they're just comfortable speaking and they know
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their stuff.
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And then it's like, alright.
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I'm good.
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I vetted them.
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Now I just wanna have a conversation with them
and hear a little about their topic.
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But if you do that speaker reel of your
webinars and maybe a piece of your podcast and
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all of these other things and some quotes from
people who have attended your events that have
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raved about what you said or a moment that you
mentioned that just made them go, ah, and have
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that light bulb moment.
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And that's everything that goes in your
speaker, Will.
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You do not need to have a keynote in order to
create it.
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I'm so glad you said that because I think
people put a lot of pressure on themselves,
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like, to you know, have this big, you know,
there must be 3000 people in the audience kinda
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thing.
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And I'm like, I I was like, for years, I didn't
even have a real, like, I just did all the
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other social media stuff I did, and people just
called me and asked me to speak.
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So it works out.
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So before you get out there?
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How can you get some practice?
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Like, what are some of the best ways to get
practice before you pitch yourself for, like, a
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really high profile opportunity?
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When you are practicing for that moment, I was
just speaking with one of my clients yesterday
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and she actually created her own event and she
is not keynoting her own event, but her goal is
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to be a keynote.
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Yeah.
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That that was my phase 2, Melinda.
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What?
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The whole reason to do your own event is
because it's your stage.
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Like, what do
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you do?
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Yeah.
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It's Exactly.
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Exactly.
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So, we had a a come to Jesus moment between the
two of us.
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And they said, hey, you are hiring all these
phenomenal speaker and this phenomenal content,
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00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:26,929
why are you not keynoting if that's your goal
to keynote?
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00:13:26,929 --> 00:13:28,450
And she goes, I'm not ready yet.
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And I was like, Well, let's get you there.
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You're like, girl, what are you doing?
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Yeah.
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No.
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That's that's crazy.
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So Wait a moment.
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Right.
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I mean, do you suggest people get on podcasts
and stuff?
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Like, just to get used to their voice, like,
getting good at just answering questions, like,
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getting good at explaining their story and
sound by format.
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I mean, is is that what you suggest for the
people that you work with?
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100%.
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I think anytime that you have an opportunity
speak, you're building your muscle that will
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help you move through anxiety if anxiety is
your the thing that's muting you, but
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consistency in speaking and opportunities for
podcasts, doing your own webinars, even client
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conversations, like difficult conversations
with your clients is a speaking opportunity and
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a moment to really have impact and inform a
client of how you would like the connection to
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be between the two of you.
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And so I think the more you can just practice
the things that kinda cause anxiety, practice
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your pitch.
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If you have a group of people that you just
know love and trust, ask them for their honest
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feedback.
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Say, hey, can I show you my pitch?
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Can I just tell it to you?
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Can you give me feedback?
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The reason I say no love and trust is because I
have definitely had somebody that did their
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pitch for somebody, and they're like, why would
anyone wanna listen to you?
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And it derailed them.
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And I said, well, are they your ideal audience?
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Is it?
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They're like, no.
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It was just a friend of mine.
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I was like,
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Yeah.
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00:15:09,875 --> 00:15:10,695
Wrong friend.
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Go.
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Wrong friend.
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Right?
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And so find somebody that you really respect
that you know will give you feedback with
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kindness and love.
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And tell you your opportunities for
improvement, but also let you know what you're
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doing right so you can keep doing those things.
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Is Toastmasters valuable?
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Yeah.
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You know, there's a lot of different
organizations out there that do public
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speaking.
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What I have found in my research before I
launched my company is that people didn't even
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wanna go to toastmasters because they
immediately make you speak and they were so
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afraid of even that part of it that it was
like, oh, it caused anxiety.
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And sometimes some of the organizations, what
they do is they have do a bunch of different
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types of speaking, but they don't give you the
foundation to set you up for success.
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00:16:00,764 --> 00:16:06,764
And so you don't want to go to an organization
that just forces you to speak but doesn't give
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you the fundamentals of how to succeed because
then you're just establishing really bad
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habits.
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And if you continue to fail, that will begin to
become your story, and we want to set you up
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for that success to go, oh, I did that.
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I knocked that out of the park.
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Oh, I did that, and I knocked it out of the
park again.
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00:16:26,679 --> 00:16:31,080
And that way that becomes your story and your
recording in your mind of I can do this.
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I got it.
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Love it.
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Love it.
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Alright.
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00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:38,514
When we come back on the small base chat live,
We're gonna talk more with Missy Mahia about
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00:16:38,514 --> 00:16:40,295
getting started in with speaking.
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00:16:40,835 --> 00:16:41,154
Hi.
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I'm Melinda Emerson's small biz lady, and I
wanna welcome you to small biz lady university.
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00:16:46,230 --> 00:16:49,610
Our mission here is to end small business
failure.
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00:16:49,909 --> 00:16:53,049
So all of the courses here are about 2 things.
289
00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:57,225
How to become your own boss or how to make
money online.
290
00:16:57,444 --> 00:16:59,125
So that's what we do here.
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00:16:59,125 --> 00:17:04,490
So whether you wanna learn about email
marketing and sales funnels, or you're ready to
292
00:17:04,730 --> 00:17:08,890
Get started with social media selling, or if
you're really just getting started with e
293
00:17:08,890 --> 00:17:12,670
Commerce, you might wanna jump into our how to
sell and market online course.
294
00:17:12,890 --> 00:17:19,375
Either way, if you want to learn how to become
your own boss and do it well, I have everything
295
00:17:19,375 --> 00:17:20,890
you need here atsmallvislatinguniversity.com.
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00:17:22,869 --> 00:17:27,910
If you have any questions or have any technical
problems getting signed up, just email us at
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00:17:27,910 --> 00:17:29,024
support atmelindamerson.com.
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Take care.
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Alright, Missy.
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00:17:34,204 --> 00:17:38,065
I wanna go back and talk to you about how do
you work through the anxiety?
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If you're too freaked out to go to
Toastmasters, what are you gonna do if you
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really wanna get trained in speaking?
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Anxiety is the of public speaking as the number
one fear.
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It's actually in our DNA.
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00:17:52,224 --> 00:17:59,279
So if you get a 23 and me DNA test, it'll tell
you, like, if you're prone to fear of public
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speaking or not, I'm 5050, which I thought was
interesting.
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00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:03,940
My husband, no fear whatsoever.
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But because it's in our DNA, it really is all
about coming up with a formula to overcome
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anxiety in the moment.
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00:18:13,700 --> 00:18:21,460
And for me, there's three things that you have
to do, and it's NPR, and the m is a mantra, and
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00:18:21,460 --> 00:18:26,335
whether that is prayer or something that you
say over and over, or it's a meditation moment,
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00:18:26,394 --> 00:18:29,054
you have to mentally shift your mind.
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00:18:30,019 --> 00:18:34,200
And then the next thing is p for physical
activity.
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00:18:34,659 --> 00:18:38,599
A lot of times our nerves in our body have no
way of getting out.
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00:18:39,455 --> 00:18:43,535
So they are just stirring, stirring, stirring,
and that's when that weight shifting comes and
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00:18:43,535 --> 00:18:47,430
our body starts shaking, our hands start
shaking our voice start shaking is because we
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00:18:47,430 --> 00:18:50,090
have this excess energy inside our body.
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00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:55,110
And so you have to do some sort of physical
activity, even if it's jumping jacks real
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00:18:55,110 --> 00:19:00,984
quick, to give that physical energy a way to
move out of your body instead of just keeping
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00:19:00,984 --> 00:19:01,644
in cycle.
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00:19:01,785 --> 00:19:08,849
And then the last one is r which is ritual and
that's just doing the same thing every single
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time before you speak.
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00:19:10,769 --> 00:19:16,615
So your body doesn't go into the fight, flight,
or freeze mode It goes into this is normal.
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00:19:17,235 --> 00:19:20,375
I got this and just puts you in a path for
success.
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00:19:21,315 --> 00:19:21,955
I love that.
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00:19:21,955 --> 00:19:22,434
I love that.
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00:19:22,434 --> 00:19:26,680
Now do you program that you have that work with
people beginners that are like, you know, kind
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00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:28,779
of just wanna get started with speaking?
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00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:29,660
100%.
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00:19:30,039 --> 00:19:30,359
Yeah.
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I have 2 programs.
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00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:35,984
I have one for speakers that I thought I was
developing for beginning speakers.
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00:19:37,085 --> 00:19:41,180
And then all these people that do keynotes came
in, so that's what it resonated with.
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00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:46,140
And so we went back to the drawing board
because I really wanted to also serve those
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00:19:46,140 --> 00:19:49,759
people that suffer from massive anxiety in this
area.
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00:19:50,184 --> 00:19:55,625
And when we found out that they didn't even
wanna go to toastmasters or any type of public
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speaking because their fear is so great, we
developed a program that's all on demand for
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people that want to start out and just move
through the anxiety, learn the really basic
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fundamentals of public speaking.
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So then they can take that next step and
actually putting it into action.
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I love it.
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I love it.
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00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:21,619
And then what is your the best business advice
you've ever been given?
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If if you're not disrupting yourself, someone
else is going to.
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I love it.
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00:20:29,089 --> 00:20:31,990
Thank you so much, Misty, for being here with
us.
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I'm Melinda Emerson, the small biz lady, and I
will leave you with this.
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You never lose in business.
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Either you win or you learn.
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Alright.
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Have a great day, everybody.
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00:20:43,644 --> 00:20:48,065
Thank you for listening to the small biz chat
podcast with Melinda Emerson.
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00:20:48,819 --> 00:20:54,359
For more resources and small business success
strategies, visit succeed as your own boss.com.
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00:20:55,220 --> 00:20:59,625
Subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen
to podcasts and join us next Wednesday.
