WEBVTT
00:00:00.959 --> 00:00:06.480
Hey guys, in today's episode, I want to talk about circles.
00:00:07.679 --> 00:00:16.879
Not perfect circles, not the shapes, but the circles we build around ourselves throughout our lives.
00:00:17.920 --> 00:00:30.399
As I've gotten older, I've realized that one of the most important decisions we make isn't where we work, where we live, or even what we drive.
00:00:31.039 --> 00:00:33.600
It's who we allow close to us.
00:00:35.039 --> 00:00:48.719
The people around us can push us, hold us back, challenge us, support us, drain us, or inspire us.
00:00:50.799 --> 00:00:54.960
Sometimes they do all of those things at different points in our lives.
00:00:56.640 --> 00:01:12.560
And if you're trying to build something, a career, a family, a business, your health, your faith, or just a better version of yourself, the people in your circle matter.
00:01:14.480 --> 00:01:18.480
I'm Chris, and this is the seventh paradigm.
00:01:20.400 --> 00:01:24.640
We like to believe everyone around us wants the best for us.
00:01:25.840 --> 00:01:28.879
Unfortunately, that's not always true.
00:01:30.319 --> 00:01:33.920
Some people are quietly competing with you.
00:01:34.879 --> 00:01:40.079
You get a promotion and they immediately compare it to their own situation.
00:01:41.040 --> 00:01:46.640
You lose weight, and suddenly they have a reason why it doesn't matter.
00:01:47.439 --> 00:01:55.680
You start a business, write a book, launch a podcast, and they become experts on why it won't work.
00:01:57.439 --> 00:01:59.599
And they're not always bad people.
00:02:00.400 --> 00:02:03.920
Sometimes they're dealing with their own insecurities.
00:02:04.560 --> 00:02:11.759
Maybe they're stuck while you're making moves, but the result is still the same.
00:02:12.800 --> 00:02:16.560
Their energy pulls instead of pushes.
00:02:18.240 --> 00:02:21.439
Then there are the people who appear supportive.
00:02:21.759 --> 00:02:26.879
They smile, they encourage, they tell you that they're proud of you.
00:02:27.599 --> 00:02:31.120
But when you're not around, the conversation changes.
00:02:32.319 --> 00:02:38.400
I've learned that not everyone who claps is cheering for you.
00:02:39.280 --> 00:02:42.400
Some people clap because everyone else is.
00:02:44.159 --> 00:02:47.919
Pay attention to their actions, not their words.
00:02:49.360 --> 00:02:52.719
Time always reveals intentions.
00:02:53.759 --> 00:02:54.719
Always.
00:02:56.560 --> 00:03:11.360
But then there are the rare ones, the people who celebrate your victories like they were their own, the people who answer the phone, the people who tell you the truth even when it's uncomfortable.
00:03:12.400 --> 00:03:16.560
The people who check on you when they haven't heard from you.
00:03:17.680 --> 00:03:22.960
The people who remind you who you are when you've forgotten.
00:03:24.159 --> 00:03:26.560
Distance doesn't matter.
00:03:26.879 --> 00:03:29.280
Time doesn't matter.
00:03:31.840 --> 00:03:38.479
You can go months or even years without talking and pick up right where you left off.
00:03:39.919 --> 00:03:42.240
Those people are treasures.
00:03:43.039 --> 00:03:45.520
Protect those relationships.
00:03:50.240 --> 00:03:57.520
Something else I've learned is that no one person can be everything.
00:03:58.719 --> 00:04:02.000
Some people help you grow spiritually.
00:04:02.560 --> 00:04:05.120
Some people help you professionally.
00:04:06.800 --> 00:04:10.960
Some make you laugh when life gets heavy.
00:04:11.919 --> 00:04:14.080
Some challenge your thinking.
00:04:16.399 --> 00:04:20.240
Some simply sit with you when you're hurting.
00:04:20.959 --> 00:04:22.560
And that's okay.
00:04:23.279 --> 00:04:26.399
Not everyone has to fill the same role.
00:04:27.279 --> 00:04:33.519
The mistake we make is expecting one person to carry the weight of an entire village.
00:04:35.600 --> 00:04:37.600
But energy matters.
00:04:39.519 --> 00:04:42.480
This one took me a long time to understand.
00:04:43.600 --> 00:04:47.759
Pay attention to how you feel after spending time with people.
00:04:48.399 --> 00:04:52.959
Do you feel motivated, encouraged, inspired?
00:04:53.839 --> 00:04:58.720
Or do you feel exhausted, frustrated, drained?
00:04:59.920 --> 00:05:03.519
Energy is one of the most valuable things we possess.
00:05:04.879 --> 00:05:09.040
And the older I get, the more protective I become of mind.
00:05:10.639 --> 00:05:18.879
Not because I don't care about people, because I finally understand where my energy goes, my life follows.
00:05:22.639 --> 00:05:28.240
And the hardest lesson I've had to learn is that a circle isn't always permanent.
00:05:29.680 --> 00:05:32.160
Not everyone is meant to stay.
00:05:33.040 --> 00:05:35.920
Some people are there for a chapter.
00:05:37.279 --> 00:05:48.560
Some people are there for a season, some are there to teach a lesson, and some are there for the entire story.
00:05:50.000 --> 00:05:55.040
When someone leaves your circle, it doesn't always mean there was betrayal.
00:05:55.839 --> 00:06:03.120
Sometimes life simply moves people in different directions, and that's okay.
00:06:04.480 --> 00:06:08.560
Appreciate what they contributed and keep moving forward.
00:06:10.959 --> 00:06:32.480
If you're listening today, take a moment and think about your circle, who encourages you, who challenges you, who drains you, who shows up consistently, who only shows up when they need something, and who generally wants to see you succeed.
00:06:34.079 --> 00:06:38.240
Those answers tell you a lot about where you're headed.
00:06:40.240 --> 00:06:45.680
Because eventually we become like the people we spend the most time around.
00:06:47.279 --> 00:06:49.199
So choose carefully.
00:06:52.800 --> 00:07:02.399
And it's easy to evaluate everyone else who's supporting me, who's draining me, who's competing with me.
00:07:03.279 --> 00:07:08.000
But every now and then I think it's worth asking a different question.
00:07:08.800 --> 00:07:14.800
What kind of experience do people have when they leave a conversation with me?
00:07:15.600 --> 00:07:17.839
Do they leave feeling better?
00:07:18.560 --> 00:07:20.800
Do they leave feeling heard?
00:07:21.920 --> 00:07:25.680
Do they leave feeling encouraged to chase their goals?
00:07:27.360 --> 00:07:33.199
Or do they leave feeling criticized, dismissed, or exhausted?
00:07:34.800 --> 00:07:40.399
Because whether we realize it or not, we're all creating an atmosphere around us.
00:07:40.879 --> 00:07:48.560
And that atmosphere follows us into our homes, our friendships, our workplaces, and our families.
00:07:49.519 --> 00:07:51.839
And that's part of your legacy.
00:07:53.279 --> 00:07:59.920
Not the legacy you leave when you're gone, but the legacy you leave every day.
00:08:00.319 --> 00:08:03.040
How do people feel around you?
00:08:04.000 --> 00:08:08.720
The feeling people carry with them after you've left a room.
00:08:09.680 --> 00:08:13.920
That's just as important as how people make you feel.
00:08:16.399 --> 00:08:23.759
If this episode made you think about someone in your circle, maybe reach out and tell them what they mean to you.
00:08:24.800 --> 00:08:32.240
And if you're fortunate enough to have people who generally want you to win, don't take them for granted.
00:08:32.960 --> 00:08:34.960
They're rarer than you think.
00:08:43.200 --> 00:08:55.200
And as always, like, follow wherever you listen to this podcast, and follow the show on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok at the Seventh Paradigm.
00:08:56.000 --> 00:08:58.320
Thank you for spending some time with me.
00:08:58.480 --> 00:09:02.320
I hope this gets you thinking about your circle.
00:09:02.720 --> 00:09:07.600
And as always, be blessed, be safe, and go build.
00:00:00.959 --> 00:00:06.480
Hey guys, in today's episode, I want to talk about circles.
00:00:07.679 --> 00:00:16.879
Not perfect circles, not the shapes, but the circles we build around ourselves throughout our lives.
00:00:17.920 --> 00:00:30.399
As I've gotten older, I've realized that one of the most important decisions we make isn't where we work, where we live, or even what we drive.
00:00:31.039 --> 00:00:33.600
It's who we allow close to us.
00:00:35.039 --> 00:00:48.719
The people around us can push us, hold us back, challenge us, support us, drain us, or inspire us.
00:00:50.799 --> 00:00:54.960
Sometimes they do all of those things at different points in our lives.
00:00:56.640 --> 00:01:12.560
And if you're trying to build something, a career, a family, a business, your health, your faith, or just a better version of yourself, the people in your circle matter.
00:01:14.480 --> 00:01:18.480
I'm Chris, and this is the seventh paradigm.
00:01:20.400 --> 00:01:24.640
We like to believe everyone around us wants the best for us.
00:01:25.840 --> 00:01:28.879
Unfortunately, that's not always true.
00:01:30.319 --> 00:01:33.920
Some people are quietly competing with you.
00:01:34.879 --> 00:01:40.079
You get a promotion and they immediately compare it to their own situation.
00:01:41.040 --> 00:01:46.640
You lose weight, and suddenly they have a reason why it doesn't matter.
00:01:47.439 --> 00:01:55.680
You start a business, write a book, launch a podcast, and they become experts on why it won't work.
00:01:57.439 --> 00:01:59.599
And they're not always bad people.
00:02:00.400 --> 00:02:03.920
Sometimes they're dealing with their own insecurities.
00:02:04.560 --> 00:02:11.759
Maybe they're stuck while you're making moves, but the result is still the same.
00:02:12.800 --> 00:02:16.560
Their energy pulls instead of pushes.
00:02:18.240 --> 00:02:21.439
Then there are the people who appear supportive.
00:02:21.759 --> 00:02:26.879
They smile, they encourage, they tell you that they're proud of you.
00:02:27.599 --> 00:02:31.120
But when you're not around, the conversation changes.
00:02:32.319 --> 00:02:38.400
I've learned that not everyone who claps is cheering for you.
00:02:39.280 --> 00:02:42.400
Some people clap because everyone else is.
00:02:44.159 --> 00:02:47.919
Pay attention to their actions, not their words.
00:02:49.360 --> 00:02:52.719
Time always reveals intentions.
00:02:53.759 --> 00:02:54.719
Always.
00:02:56.560 --> 00:03:11.360
But then there are the rare ones, the people who celebrate your victories like they were their own, the people who answer the phone, the people who tell you the truth even when it's uncomfortable.
00:03:12.400 --> 00:03:16.560
The people who check on you when they haven't heard from you.
00:03:17.680 --> 00:03:22.960
The people who remind you who you are when you've forgotten.
00:03:24.159 --> 00:03:26.560
Distance doesn't matter.
00:03:26.879 --> 00:03:29.280
Time doesn't matter.
00:03:31.840 --> 00:03:38.479
You can go months or even years without talking and pick up right where you left off.
00:03:39.919 --> 00:03:42.240
Those people are treasures.
00:03:43.039 --> 00:03:45.520
Protect those relationships.
00:03:50.240 --> 00:03:57.520
Something else I've learned is that no one person can be everything.
00:03:58.719 --> 00:04:02.000
Some people help you grow spiritually.
00:04:02.560 --> 00:04:05.120
Some people help you professionally.
00:04:06.800 --> 00:04:10.960
Some make you laugh when life gets heavy.
00:04:11.919 --> 00:04:14.080
Some challenge your thinking.
00:04:16.399 --> 00:04:20.240
Some simply sit with you when you're hurting.
00:04:20.959 --> 00:04:22.560
And that's okay.
00:04:23.279 --> 00:04:26.399
Not everyone has to fill the same role.
00:04:27.279 --> 00:04:33.519
The mistake we make is expecting one person to carry the weight of an entire village.
00:04:35.600 --> 00:04:37.600
But energy matters.
00:04:39.519 --> 00:04:42.480
This one took me a long time to understand.
00:04:43.600 --> 00:04:47.759
Pay attention to how you feel after spending time with people.
00:04:48.399 --> 00:04:52.959
Do you feel motivated, encouraged, inspired?
00:04:53.839 --> 00:04:58.720
Or do you feel exhausted, frustrated, drained?
00:04:59.920 --> 00:05:03.519
Energy is one of the most valuable things we possess.
00:05:04.879 --> 00:05:09.040
And the older I get, the more protective I become of mind.
00:05:10.639 --> 00:05:18.879
Not because I don't care about people, because I finally understand where my energy goes, my life follows.
00:05:22.639 --> 00:05:28.240
And the hardest lesson I've had to learn is that a circle isn't always permanent.
00:05:29.680 --> 00:05:32.160
Not everyone is meant to stay.
00:05:33.040 --> 00:05:35.920
Some people are there for a chapter.
00:05:37.279 --> 00:05:48.560
Some people are there for a season, some are there to teach a lesson, and some are there for the entire story.
00:05:50.000 --> 00:05:55.040
When someone leaves your circle, it doesn't always mean there was betrayal.
00:05:55.839 --> 00:06:03.120
Sometimes life simply moves people in different directions, and that's okay.
00:06:04.480 --> 00:06:08.560
Appreciate what they contributed and keep moving forward.
00:06:10.959 --> 00:06:32.480
If you're listening today, take a moment and think about your circle, who encourages you, who challenges you, who drains you, who shows up consistently, who only shows up when they need something, and who generally wants to see you succeed.
00:06:34.079 --> 00:06:38.240
Those answers tell you a lot about where you're headed.
00:06:40.240 --> 00:06:45.680
Because eventually we become like the people we spend the most time around.
00:06:47.279 --> 00:06:49.199
So choose carefully.
00:06:52.800 --> 00:07:02.399
And it's easy to evaluate everyone else who's supporting me, who's draining me, who's competing with me.
00:07:03.279 --> 00:07:08.000
But every now and then I think it's worth asking a different question.
00:07:08.800 --> 00:07:14.800
What kind of experience do people have when they leave a conversation with me?
00:07:15.600 --> 00:07:17.839
Do they leave feeling better?
00:07:18.560 --> 00:07:20.800
Do they leave feeling heard?
00:07:21.920 --> 00:07:25.680
Do they leave feeling encouraged to chase their goals?
00:07:27.360 --> 00:07:33.199
Or do they leave feeling criticized, dismissed, or exhausted?
00:07:34.800 --> 00:07:40.399
Because whether we realize it or not, we're all creating an atmosphere around us.
00:07:40.879 --> 00:07:48.560
And that atmosphere follows us into our homes, our friendships, our workplaces, and our families.
00:07:49.519 --> 00:07:51.839
And that's part of your legacy.
00:07:53.279 --> 00:07:59.920
Not the legacy you leave when you're gone, but the legacy you leave every day.
00:08:00.319 --> 00:08:03.040
How do people feel around you?
00:08:04.000 --> 00:08:08.720
The feeling people carry with them after you've left a room.
00:08:09.680 --> 00:08:13.920
That's just as important as how people make you feel.
00:08:16.399 --> 00:08:23.759
If this episode made you think about someone in your circle, maybe reach out and tell them what they mean to you.
00:08:24.800 --> 00:08:32.240
And if you're fortunate enough to have people who generally want you to win, don't take them for granted.
00:08:32.960 --> 00:08:34.960
They're rarer than you think.
00:08:43.200 --> 00:08:55.200
And as always, like, follow wherever you listen to this podcast, and follow the show on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok at the Seventh Paradigm.
00:08:56.000 --> 00:08:58.320
Thank you for spending some time with me.
00:08:58.480 --> 00:09:02.320
I hope this gets you thinking about your circle.
00:09:02.720 --> 00:09:07.600
And as always, be blessed, be safe, and go build.
