WEBVTT
00:00:00.050 --> 00:00:11.259
Have you ever had a day where you're doing all the right things, like showing up, staying consistent, keeping it together, but inside you still feel tense?
00:00:11.580 --> 00:00:14.750
You feel rushed, and somehow you feel behind.
00:00:15.410 --> 00:00:21.800
What if the problem isn't what you're doing, but what you're trying to prove while you do it?
00:00:22.149 --> 00:00:39.777
Stay with me because we're diving into that right now Welcome to The Restored Mind, biblical wisdom for Christian moms who are tired of guilt, tension, and feeling divided.
00:00:40.137 --> 00:00:44.537
Here, we build a woven life with peace, growth, and connection.
00:00:44.917 --> 00:00:46.128
I'm Caroline Tau.
00:00:46.497 --> 00:00:54.534
Let's do this Here's what I want you to do.
00:00:54.755 --> 00:01:08.495
If today's episode perked your ears up and you started agreeing with what I said, then that is your cue to go take the Discover Your Mom Guilt quiz because it's going to help you name exactly what is fueling it.
00:01:08.825 --> 00:01:12.965
You'll see your pattern, whether you're the perfectionist, comparison, or past dweller mom.
00:01:13.305 --> 00:01:17.105
And once you can name it, then you can begin to interrupt it.
00:01:22.879 --> 00:01:23.778
Hello, hello.
00:01:23.789 --> 00:01:25.028
Welcome back, mamas.
00:01:25.058 --> 00:01:27.129
I'm so excited to have you here today.
00:01:27.159 --> 00:01:33.668
If you're new, It is a pleasure to have you in this space today of The Restored Mind.
00:01:33.948 --> 00:01:43.629
So today's episode is gonna be so fun because we are going to be diving into the conversation of living for your identity versus from it.
00:01:43.938 --> 00:02:04.239
And I know that this is something I struggled with in many areas of my life, especially motherhood, because there's this pressure to try and, quote unquote,"do all the things." And even though the intentions are good, sometimes it gets lost in the purpose behind why we are doing it.
00:02:04.558 --> 00:02:18.498
So I thought this is gonna be the perfect place to start, because like I said, you could be doing genuinely good things, keeping the routines or showing up for your kids, maybe it's getting the work done, or even serving at church.
00:02:18.778 --> 00:02:32.239
And somewhere on the inside, there is still this tension that it's that feeling of, I can't stop or I can't slow down, because if I let any of this go, then it's all gonna fall apart.
00:02:32.528 --> 00:02:38.399
And honestly, I think a lot of moms can relate to this because I've lived through it too.
00:02:38.399 --> 00:02:41.788
And if I've done it, I know that many of you also have lived through it.
00:02:42.248 --> 00:02:47.468
So from the outside, my life mostly looked like I was doing all the right things.
00:02:47.788 --> 00:02:53.139
But on the inside, there was this constant pressure that just wouldn't let me rest.
00:02:53.568 --> 00:03:00.788
And I wanna be clear about this because I don't want you to hear what I'm saying and then you walk away thinking that something is wrong with you.
00:03:01.199 --> 00:03:05.508
But that feeling is not proof that you are failing or that you're a bad mom.
00:03:05.848 --> 00:03:07.079
It's actually a signal.
00:03:07.408 --> 00:03:32.368
And even the most beautiful goals that you have, whether it be to grow in your faithfulness or to work from excellence or just being consistent or, like many of my moms, being the mom that they've always wanted to be, all of that can quickly and quietly start operating from the wrong place without us even realizing it.
00:03:32.679 --> 00:03:41.808
And the thing is, we don't usually catch it until someone reflects it back to us or until we slow down long enough to sit with ourselves and ask the harder question.
00:03:42.338 --> 00:03:44.929
Because the question isn't, am I doing enough?
00:03:45.269 --> 00:03:49.748
The better question is, what is actually driving me right now?
00:03:49.979 --> 00:03:52.299
Is it peace or is it pressure?
00:03:54.223 --> 00:04:08.043
Pressure is actually a sign that somewhere along the way, we just stopped operating from rest and started operating from a place of trying to prove ourselves, and we didn't even realize that it was happening when it started happening.
00:04:08.853 --> 00:04:14.582
So, what does living from your identity look like versus living for it?
00:04:14.953 --> 00:04:24.942
And I think that this is where we can get a little bit more practical, because your identity is simply what God says you are before you do a single thing today.
00:04:25.322 --> 00:04:31.012
And when we live from that place, it really does change the way that we move through our day.
00:04:31.423 --> 00:04:36.903
Because when you're living from your identity, it can look like a steadier pace.
00:04:37.252 --> 00:04:40.353
It looks like peace even when the day is busy.
00:04:40.762 --> 00:04:51.283
It looks like boundaries that you can actually hold without panicking, And it looks like obedience without all of that over-functioning that so many of us carry.
00:04:51.963 --> 00:04:53.543
You can still do a lot.
00:04:53.923 --> 00:04:55.973
For example, being a mom is a lot.
00:04:56.192 --> 00:04:58.132
Running a business is a lot.
00:04:58.593 --> 00:05:04.023
Serving in your community is a lot as well, and there's so many more examples, but I'll stop at those three.
00:05:04.322 --> 00:05:10.283
But mainly what I'm trying to say is you're not fighting to earn your worth in the middle of the things that you are doing.
00:05:10.872 --> 00:05:15.302
But when you're living for your identity, it sounds completely different.
00:05:15.512 --> 00:05:34.853
It sounds like,"If I don't do this right, I'm gonna let everyone down," or,"I can't slow down right now," or even,"Everyone else seems to be handling this so much better than me." And honestly, I've said those things to myself before too, and that is performing.
00:05:34.862 --> 00:05:37.913
That's a way of trying to work out of control.
00:05:38.483 --> 00:05:43.992
That is you bracing yourself for the possibility of disappointing someone.
00:05:44.642 --> 00:05:49.252
And what's interesting is that it shows up in the most ordinary moments.
00:05:49.843 --> 00:06:00.122
So in the morning routines that you have, the chores, your Bible time, the way that you're working, Even the way you're responding when your kids are having a hard moment.
00:06:00.572 --> 00:06:06.483
The action on the outside might look the exact same, but on the inside it's completely different.
00:06:07.302 --> 00:06:15.122
So here is a self-check that I want to encourage you to sit with, and honestly, I don't want you to rush to answer it.
00:06:15.562 --> 00:06:22.872
And so the question I'm gonna ask you today as a reflection question is, am I being faithful right now, or am I performing?
00:06:24.713 --> 00:06:42.932
Because in 2 Corinthians 12:9, Paul writes,"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." And yes, Paul is writing this, but he's also saying that this is what God told him when he was asking God to remove the thorn from his side.
00:06:43.163 --> 00:06:44.413
So those are God's words.
00:06:44.432 --> 00:06:58.122
He says,"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." And the picture there is that grace already meets us in the places where we feel like we're not enough, or where we feel like we have this thorn on our side.
00:06:58.603 --> 00:07:02.052
So truth is, we're not auditioning for our worth.
00:07:02.593 --> 00:07:17.783
It's already been given to us, and we get to move through our day from that place instead of for it and I hope that as I'm going through this episode, that you're finding so much pressure being lifted off of your shoulder.
00:07:18.233 --> 00:07:24.312
Because the next question that I have is, what do you do when the pressure rises?
00:07:24.843 --> 00:07:31.692
'Cause I'm talking about all these things, it's more so reflection, but now we're going into the topic of in the moment.
00:07:32.023 --> 00:07:37.103
That is usually the hardest part for my mamas to try and navigate through.
00:07:37.403 --> 00:07:47.552
They're so good at telling me things that have happened in the past and then how they fixed it, but the struggle has always been, what do I do in the moment?
00:07:48.052 --> 00:07:54.562
So I know that up to this point, it can feel like it is a lot to take in.
00:07:54.903 --> 00:08:05.942
So I just wanna give you something practical, something simple that you can actually do in the moment when you start to feel that pressure rising, and it doesn't take a full minute to do this.
00:08:06.252 --> 00:08:09.062
So the first thing I want you to do is just notice it.
00:08:09.692 --> 00:08:10.293
That's right.
00:08:10.312 --> 00:08:15.153
I want you to just pause for a second and ask yourself,"What am I feeling right now?
00:08:15.432 --> 00:08:28.483
Where is this coming from?" Because honestly, we miss this so often when we're just on autopilot, moving from one thing to the next and trying to get to the end of our never-ending list.
00:08:29.043 --> 00:08:32.293
And then I want you to name it.
00:08:33.062 --> 00:08:54.846
And I know that that can get uncomfortable, but just being honest with yourself in that moment is incredibly huge Maybe it sounds like,"Okay, I'm trying to prove something." Or maybe it's,"I'm trying to control this because I'm tired, and I'm scared that if I don't, everything's gonna fall apart." And that is understandable.
00:08:54.855 --> 00:08:55.995
I've been there, too.
00:08:56.493 --> 00:08:59.222
And then from there, I want you to anchor yourself in truth.
00:08:59.722 --> 00:09:10.202
Remind yourself that you don't have to earn your peace for today, that is something that honestly a lot of moms forget because we are so busy just trying to keep it moving.
00:09:10.702 --> 00:09:14.962
And then the very last step is to take the next step.
00:09:15.212 --> 00:09:18.033
I know, it probably sounds like, well, what's the next step?
00:09:18.552 --> 00:09:23.783
I want you to ask yourself, what does faithfulness look like in this moment without urgency?
00:09:24.033 --> 00:09:25.263
That's the key here.
00:09:25.442 --> 00:09:27.143
And maybe it's still making dinner.
00:09:27.533 --> 00:09:31.852
Maybe it's still responding to the email or finishing that load of laundry.
00:09:32.253 --> 00:09:38.192
The difference is you're doing it from a completely different place now, and that's really it.
00:09:38.442 --> 00:09:41.962
You're not adding one more thing to your already very long list.
00:09:41.962 --> 00:09:46.643
You're just simply shifting what is underneath the things that you're already doing.
00:09:46.932 --> 00:09:51.383
And that small shift is where the change actually begins.
00:09:51.962 --> 00:09:59.613
So mama, if there's anything that I want you to walk away with today, it's really just this: you don't have to earn what's already been given to you.
00:09:59.923 --> 00:10:00.753
You really don't.
00:10:01.202 --> 00:10:07.952
You get to keep being that same mom doing the same good thing that you've been doing.
00:10:08.533 --> 00:10:25.269
And I know that becoming the mom that you want to be can be incredibly hard at times, but as I always say, you can do hard things Thanks for spending time with me today, mama.
00:10:25.559 --> 00:10:30.340
If this episode encouraged you, would you share it with another mom who needs it too?
00:10:30.580 --> 00:10:35.960
And don't forget to hit follow so the next time a new episode drops, it's waiting for you.
00:10:36.230 --> 00:10:38.200
Until next time, go in peace
00:00:00.050 --> 00:00:11.259
Have you ever had a day where you're doing all the right things, like showing up, staying consistent, keeping it together, but inside you still feel tense?
00:00:11.580 --> 00:00:14.750
You feel rushed, and somehow you feel behind.
00:00:15.410 --> 00:00:21.800
What if the problem isn't what you're doing, but what you're trying to prove while you do it?
00:00:22.149 --> 00:00:39.777
Stay with me because we're diving into that right now Welcome to The Restored Mind, biblical wisdom for Christian moms who are tired of guilt, tension, and feeling divided.
00:00:40.137 --> 00:00:44.537
Here, we build a woven life with peace, growth, and connection.
00:00:44.917 --> 00:00:46.128
I'm Caroline Tau.
00:00:46.497 --> 00:00:54.534
Let's do this Here's what I want you to do.
00:00:54.755 --> 00:01:08.495
If today's episode perked your ears up and you started agreeing with what I said, then that is your cue to go take the Discover Your Mom Guilt quiz because it's going to help you name exactly what is fueling it.
00:01:08.825 --> 00:01:12.965
You'll see your pattern, whether you're the perfectionist, comparison, or past dweller mom.
00:01:13.305 --> 00:01:17.105
And once you can name it, then you can begin to interrupt it.
00:01:22.879 --> 00:01:23.778
Hello, hello.
00:01:23.789 --> 00:01:25.028
Welcome back, mamas.
00:01:25.058 --> 00:01:27.129
I'm so excited to have you here today.
00:01:27.159 --> 00:01:33.668
If you're new, It is a pleasure to have you in this space today of The Restored Mind.
00:01:33.948 --> 00:01:43.629
So today's episode is gonna be so fun because we are going to be diving into the conversation of living for your identity versus from it.
00:01:43.938 --> 00:02:04.239
And I know that this is something I struggled with in many areas of my life, especially motherhood, because there's this pressure to try and, quote unquote,"do all the things." And even though the intentions are good, sometimes it gets lost in the purpose behind why we are doing it.
00:02:04.558 --> 00:02:18.498
So I thought this is gonna be the perfect place to start, because like I said, you could be doing genuinely good things, keeping the routines or showing up for your kids, maybe it's getting the work done, or even serving at church.
00:02:18.778 --> 00:02:32.239
And somewhere on the inside, there is still this tension that it's that feeling of, I can't stop or I can't slow down, because if I let any of this go, then it's all gonna fall apart.
00:02:32.528 --> 00:02:38.399
And honestly, I think a lot of moms can relate to this because I've lived through it too.
00:02:38.399 --> 00:02:41.788
And if I've done it, I know that many of you also have lived through it.
00:02:42.248 --> 00:02:47.468
So from the outside, my life mostly looked like I was doing all the right things.
00:02:47.788 --> 00:02:53.139
But on the inside, there was this constant pressure that just wouldn't let me rest.
00:02:53.568 --> 00:03:00.788
And I wanna be clear about this because I don't want you to hear what I'm saying and then you walk away thinking that something is wrong with you.
00:03:01.199 --> 00:03:05.508
But that feeling is not proof that you are failing or that you're a bad mom.
00:03:05.848 --> 00:03:07.079
It's actually a signal.
00:03:07.408 --> 00:03:32.368
And even the most beautiful goals that you have, whether it be to grow in your faithfulness or to work from excellence or just being consistent or, like many of my moms, being the mom that they've always wanted to be, all of that can quickly and quietly start operating from the wrong place without us even realizing it.
00:03:32.679 --> 00:03:41.808
And the thing is, we don't usually catch it until someone reflects it back to us or until we slow down long enough to sit with ourselves and ask the harder question.
00:03:42.338 --> 00:03:44.929
Because the question isn't, am I doing enough?
00:03:45.269 --> 00:03:49.748
The better question is, what is actually driving me right now?
00:03:49.979 --> 00:03:52.299
Is it peace or is it pressure?
00:03:54.223 --> 00:04:08.043
Pressure is actually a sign that somewhere along the way, we just stopped operating from rest and started operating from a place of trying to prove ourselves, and we didn't even realize that it was happening when it started happening.
00:04:08.853 --> 00:04:14.582
So, what does living from your identity look like versus living for it?
00:04:14.953 --> 00:04:24.942
And I think that this is where we can get a little bit more practical, because your identity is simply what God says you are before you do a single thing today.
00:04:25.322 --> 00:04:31.012
And when we live from that place, it really does change the way that we move through our day.
00:04:31.423 --> 00:04:36.903
Because when you're living from your identity, it can look like a steadier pace.
00:04:37.252 --> 00:04:40.353
It looks like peace even when the day is busy.
00:04:40.762 --> 00:04:51.283
It looks like boundaries that you can actually hold without panicking, And it looks like obedience without all of that over-functioning that so many of us carry.
00:04:51.963 --> 00:04:53.543
You can still do a lot.
00:04:53.923 --> 00:04:55.973
For example, being a mom is a lot.
00:04:56.192 --> 00:04:58.132
Running a business is a lot.
00:04:58.593 --> 00:05:04.023
Serving in your community is a lot as well, and there's so many more examples, but I'll stop at those three.
00:05:04.322 --> 00:05:10.283
But mainly what I'm trying to say is you're not fighting to earn your worth in the middle of the things that you are doing.
00:05:10.872 --> 00:05:15.302
But when you're living for your identity, it sounds completely different.
00:05:15.512 --> 00:05:34.853
It sounds like,"If I don't do this right, I'm gonna let everyone down," or,"I can't slow down right now," or even,"Everyone else seems to be handling this so much better than me." And honestly, I've said those things to myself before too, and that is performing.
00:05:34.862 --> 00:05:37.913
That's a way of trying to work out of control.
00:05:38.483 --> 00:05:43.992
That is you bracing yourself for the possibility of disappointing someone.
00:05:44.642 --> 00:05:49.252
And what's interesting is that it shows up in the most ordinary moments.
00:05:49.843 --> 00:06:00.122
So in the morning routines that you have, the chores, your Bible time, the way that you're working, Even the way you're responding when your kids are having a hard moment.
00:06:00.572 --> 00:06:06.483
The action on the outside might look the exact same, but on the inside it's completely different.
00:06:07.302 --> 00:06:15.122
So here is a self-check that I want to encourage you to sit with, and honestly, I don't want you to rush to answer it.
00:06:15.562 --> 00:06:22.872
And so the question I'm gonna ask you today as a reflection question is, am I being faithful right now, or am I performing?
00:06:24.713 --> 00:06:42.932
Because in 2 Corinthians 12:9, Paul writes,"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." And yes, Paul is writing this, but he's also saying that this is what God told him when he was asking God to remove the thorn from his side.
00:06:43.163 --> 00:06:44.413
So those are God's words.
00:06:44.432 --> 00:06:58.122
He says,"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." And the picture there is that grace already meets us in the places where we feel like we're not enough, or where we feel like we have this thorn on our side.
00:06:58.603 --> 00:07:02.052
So truth is, we're not auditioning for our worth.
00:07:02.593 --> 00:07:17.783
It's already been given to us, and we get to move through our day from that place instead of for it and I hope that as I'm going through this episode, that you're finding so much pressure being lifted off of your shoulder.
00:07:18.233 --> 00:07:24.312
Because the next question that I have is, what do you do when the pressure rises?
00:07:24.843 --> 00:07:31.692
'Cause I'm talking about all these things, it's more so reflection, but now we're going into the topic of in the moment.
00:07:32.023 --> 00:07:37.103
That is usually the hardest part for my mamas to try and navigate through.
00:07:37.403 --> 00:07:47.552
They're so good at telling me things that have happened in the past and then how they fixed it, but the struggle has always been, what do I do in the moment?
00:07:48.052 --> 00:07:54.562
So I know that up to this point, it can feel like it is a lot to take in.
00:07:54.903 --> 00:08:05.942
So I just wanna give you something practical, something simple that you can actually do in the moment when you start to feel that pressure rising, and it doesn't take a full minute to do this.
00:08:06.252 --> 00:08:09.062
So the first thing I want you to do is just notice it.
00:08:09.692 --> 00:08:10.293
That's right.
00:08:10.312 --> 00:08:15.153
I want you to just pause for a second and ask yourself,"What am I feeling right now?
00:08:15.432 --> 00:08:28.483
Where is this coming from?" Because honestly, we miss this so often when we're just on autopilot, moving from one thing to the next and trying to get to the end of our never-ending list.
00:08:29.043 --> 00:08:32.293
And then I want you to name it.
00:08:33.062 --> 00:08:54.846
And I know that that can get uncomfortable, but just being honest with yourself in that moment is incredibly huge Maybe it sounds like,"Okay, I'm trying to prove something." Or maybe it's,"I'm trying to control this because I'm tired, and I'm scared that if I don't, everything's gonna fall apart." And that is understandable.
00:08:54.855 --> 00:08:55.995
I've been there, too.
00:08:56.493 --> 00:08:59.222
And then from there, I want you to anchor yourself in truth.
00:08:59.722 --> 00:09:10.202
Remind yourself that you don't have to earn your peace for today, that is something that honestly a lot of moms forget because we are so busy just trying to keep it moving.
00:09:10.702 --> 00:09:14.962
And then the very last step is to take the next step.
00:09:15.212 --> 00:09:18.033
I know, it probably sounds like, well, what's the next step?
00:09:18.552 --> 00:09:23.783
I want you to ask yourself, what does faithfulness look like in this moment without urgency?
00:09:24.033 --> 00:09:25.263
That's the key here.
00:09:25.442 --> 00:09:27.143
And maybe it's still making dinner.
00:09:27.533 --> 00:09:31.852
Maybe it's still responding to the email or finishing that load of laundry.
00:09:32.253 --> 00:09:38.192
The difference is you're doing it from a completely different place now, and that's really it.
00:09:38.442 --> 00:09:41.962
You're not adding one more thing to your already very long list.
00:09:41.962 --> 00:09:46.643
You're just simply shifting what is underneath the things that you're already doing.
00:09:46.932 --> 00:09:51.383
And that small shift is where the change actually begins.
00:09:51.962 --> 00:09:59.613
So mama, if there's anything that I want you to walk away with today, it's really just this: you don't have to earn what's already been given to you.
00:09:59.923 --> 00:10:00.753
You really don't.
00:10:01.202 --> 00:10:07.952
You get to keep being that same mom doing the same good thing that you've been doing.
00:10:08.533 --> 00:10:25.269
And I know that becoming the mom that you want to be can be incredibly hard at times, but as I always say, you can do hard things Thanks for spending time with me today, mama.
00:10:25.559 --> 00:10:30.340
If this episode encouraged you, would you share it with another mom who needs it too?
00:10:30.580 --> 00:10:35.960
And don't forget to hit follow so the next time a new episode drops, it's waiting for you.
00:10:36.230 --> 00:10:38.200
Until next time, go in peace
